#Jason is there because everyone else would burn the Manor down while cooking and Alfred had asked him to

[crying-over-the-batfam]

I have this headcanon that Damian can cook, but the batfamily remains unaware for ages because he doesn't feel the need to inform them. Alfred cooks them all meals, and he never felt the need or want to learn to cook western food. (He likes his traditions and Saudi Arabian food feels like home and reminds him of his mom) Talia would cook with him (look I know they didn't have to cook for themselves either but stfu I think it'd be cute). So whenever he's feeling like eating the food he grew up most of his life with he sneaks into the kitchen and makes it for himself, always leaving it the way he found it. Btw I always think of Damian as wfa Damian so yes it is most of his life.

I also, because I like the idea that Jason can cook and having grown up poor it makes sense to me. Also I want more Jason-Damian bonding time cause wfa ep31 was adorable.

Anyway for whatever reason the batfam is at home in bed (idk who's patrolling, don't ask), it's 3am, and Damian wants to cook. So he sneaks into the kitchen and starts making something. Maybe he's making tamees, which looks delicious and I'm gonna have to try making btw. Anywho he's making something to go with it too, maybe kabsa with chicken or lamb or something. Oh no. I'm making myself hungry with my research. So back to what I now want to write a fic for. Damian is making tamees and kabsa with lamb at the same time. At a reasonable hour Alfred will wonder where his lamb disappeared to. He will not find out

However as Damian is tending to the lamb kabsa he nearly forgets to take out his tamees. It nearly burns and he makes a bit too much noise as he curses and hurries to remove it. Unfortunately for his secret Jason was having a nightmare or something and woke up or whatever and heard someone in the kitchen. Obviously this is odd, it's 3am and no one at the manor was on patrol, and it didn't sound like someone just getting a regular snack. So being curious and cautious he sneaks down to see what's going on.

Obviously upon seeing this he's like "wtf Damian" Damian turns around, spatula in hand, and says "if you say a word to anyone about this Todd, I will kill you" because what else do you say to being discovered in your secret hobby. Jason's obviously like "chill, I'm just really fucking confused as to the fact that you can cook, and that you're cooking a whole ass meal at 3 in the fucking morning." So naturally this leads to a 3-something-am hangout while eating delicious food, and because I want soft batfam content this becomes a regular thing, only at Jason's apartment where Damian can keep his secret without cooking at 3 in the morning. Oh yeah, Damian does this whenever everyone's gonna be asleep and not on patrol and he feels like it. Alfred finds out eventually and encourages Damian to help him make meals for the family that remind him of Eth Alth'eban

[toosicktoocare]

Hi, uh, this is awkward since you're the first person I have ever requested a fic from. Anyway, if you're still taking requests for dc, would you mind making a sick Alfred? I just want the boys to do something for their father/grandfather. Thanks. Love your fics btw.

This is super cute, and I lowkey feel honored (?? lmao) that I’m your first request. I hope you like the fic!

Dick’s rounding a corner, with Jason hot on his heels, but he freezes, one socked foot seconds from leaving the dark wood of the hallway to plant on the white, almost pristine, linoleum of the kitchen, and he quickly braces both hands on either side of the doorframe when Jason slams into his back.

“What the fuck, Dickbrain?”

Frowning, Dick narrows his eyes as Bruce turns away from the stove. He’s donned in a navy blue apron, and he’s got one oven mit on to protect his hand from the hot frying pan he’s holding.

“Where’s Alfred?”

Jason peers over Dick’s shoulder, wordlessly studying the black smoke that billows up from the pan. “Christ, we’re gonna starve.”

“Jason,” Dick hisses, sparing a brief glare to Jason’s direction before bringing a worried gaze back to Bruce, his brows furrowed.

“Alfred’s sick” is all Bruce offers, his voice low and worn, and he turns back to the stove with a sigh.

“Sick?” Dick parrots back, the single word so unfamilair on his tongue within this context. “How sick?”

“He’s, like, really old,” Jason mutters, tense at Dick’s back. “Is he dying?”

“Jay,” Dick groans, his words getting lost when Damian shoves past him to squeeze into the kitchen, a small crinkle to his raised nose.

“Father, are you trying to burn down the entire manor?”

Bruce’s sigh fades to a low growl. He leaves the pan on the stove and turns back to the three, running one hand down his face. “Alfred’s fine. He’s been working through a cold the last few days, and he just pushed himself a little too hard. He’s on bed rest for the rest of the week.”

Dick gnaws lightly at his bottom lip, worried, and Jason spares a weary glance around the kitchen, fanning away some of the lingering smoke. “You’ve never cooked a day in your life, have you, Bats?”

“Jason,” Bruce warns, but, despite the gravel in his tone, his face falls around an endless sigh, and he sinks down into a chair, dropping the oven mit atop the table. “I admit I’m a little out of my element here.”

“Clearly,” Jason spits out, examining some of the spices Bruce has littered all over the counter. He pokes at whatever charred, burned mess is stuck to the bottom of a pan with a wooden spoon, groaning deep in his throat.

“Maybe we can order in?” Dick questions, peering over Jason’s shoulder with a wince.

“Nah,” Jason says, already shuffling spices around to clear space. “I’ve got this.” He turns back to the others. “Also, scram? I don’t need your deadweight in here.”

Dick offers a mock salute and clamps a hand to Damian’s shoulder, guiding him out of the kitchen.

“Grayson, Todd’s going to kill us all.”

“Relax,” Dick says, waving for Bruce to follow. “Jay’s been feeding himself for a while. He’s actually a really good cook.”

“I did not know this,” Bruce says lowly, and Dick spares a side glance, brows rising.

“Save the emotional constipation for another day, B. We’ve got Alfred to worry about.” Dick expertly ducks when Bruce swings at the back of his head, and he slips around until he’s walking backwards, facing Bruce and Damian. “I’m going to go check on him.” At the look Bruce gives him, the sharp, borderline Batman look, Dick raises both hands in defense. “I’ll be quiet; I promise.”

“I don’t believe that one bit,” Bruce grumbles. “But I’m too tired to stop you.” He starts to guide Damian to the library, to maybe pick out a book Alfred will want to read, but he stops, glancing over his shoulder. “Dick, remember. Just because Alfred’s sick, it doesn’t mean he’s incapable of tossing you out the window in a heartbeat.”

Dick grabs at his chest. “He would never!” He spins on his heels, taking the steps back up the stairs two at a time, and he’s just about to turn toward Alfred’s room when Tim steps out from his own room, somehow looking simultaneously like he’s slept for days yet hasn’t slept at all.

“What’s burning?” Tim questions around a yawn. “Alfred doesn’t burn things.”

“Bruce was cooking.”

Frowning, Tim glances toward Alfred’s room, taking mental note of the closed bedroom door. “Why? Where’s Alfred?”

“Sick,” Dick says, and immediately, Tim turns on his heel and starts toward Alfred’s room, promptly dodging Dick’s quick attempts at grabbing him until Dick’s bear-hugging him and pulling him back right before he can twist open the door.

“Let me go, Dick.” Tim wriggles in Dick’s arms, but Dick only tightens his hold and starts back to the stairs.

“Not a chance, Tim. You can’t be around him.”

“It’s not going to kill me, Dick.”

Dick sets Tim down on the top step, frowning. “Maybe not, but I’ve seen you hooked up to IVs too many times now, baby bird. So, humor me? I’ll tell Alfred you say hi.”

Tim doesn’t pout. He pulls his lips into a wordless, flat line, eyes sharp against Dick’s blue ones, and they remain like that for an endless minute before Tim breaks the gaze with a sigh. “Who’s cooking?”

“Jay is. I’m sure he could use the help.”

“Doubtful,” Tim mutters, but he starts down the steps anyway, and Dick smiles, watching Tim turn into the kitchen, before he starts back to Alfred’s room, offering two courtesy knocks before slipping quietly into the room.

Alfred’s propped up into a seated position, his pale face pulled to the window, but when Dick steps in, he turns to him, offering a tired smile.

“Master Richard,” Alfred rasps out, and Dick winces, crossing the room and dropping to the edge of the bed.

“Hey, Al. How’re you feeling?” He reaches over, brushing the back of his hand to Alfred’s cheek. It’s warm, he thinks, but not alarmingly so. “You feel a little feverish.”

“Oh, don’t dote, Master Richard. I’m quite alright.”

“B has you on bed rest,” Dick replies, and Alfred sighs around a light laugh that gives way to a few coughs.

“Master Bruce has a tendency to panic...”

“Oh,” Dick drags out, “we know.” He smooths his hand over Alfred’s blanket. “I’m sorry we didn’t notice you were sick before,” Dick sighs, and Alfred pats his hand warmly.

“No apology necessary, Master Richard. I’ll be fine in a few days tops, I assure you.”

Nodding, Dick drags his fingers through his hair. “Can we get you anything?”

“Soup would be nice,” Alfred starts. “I specifically told Master Bruce to keep far away from my kitchen, but based on the faint scent of burning eggs, I presume he did not listen.”

If there’s one thing that will consistently impress Dick, it’s Jason’s impeccable timing. At this, the latter slips into the room, kicking the door open with his foot. He’s carrying a tray that looks out of place in his hands, and atop it, there’s a large, steaming bowl of soup that smells incredible.

“Master Jason,” Alfred smiles, and Jason shoos Dick off the bed, gently placing the tray across Alfred’s lap.

“Ah, Master Jason, I’ve quite missed your cooking.”

“Wait,” Dick draws out, “You’ve had Jay’s cooking?”

“We have a thing,” Jason smirks, jabbing right where he knows it will bother Dick the most. “He comes to my apartment to patch me up, and I cook us dinner.”

“You guys have a thing?” Dick works his jaw, a pout pressing against his lips. “Al, do we have a thing?” He paces the length of the room, unfazed at Jason’s loud groan. “We definitely have a thing, right?”

“Jealously doesn’t suit you, Dick.”

Dick whips around to see Bruce walking in, with Damian close behind, a novel in hand. “B, how the hell does Jay have a thing with Alfred, and I don’t?”

“I almost want to be offended by that,” Jason spits out, smiling. “Almost.”

Dick whips a sharp gaze back to Jason, prepared to take the very clear bait Jason’s dangling before him, but he stops when Tim shuffles in, silently, and drops onto a loveseat that’s a reasonable distance from Alfred’s bed.

“You all seriously have the worst bedside manner.”

“Tim-”

“You can’t be in here, Tim.”

“You’ll get sick.”

“Are you double-masked, Master Timothy?” Alfred’s voice, though a tired rasp, carries over everyone else, and Tim hooks a finger under the top mask covering his mouth and nose, pulling it back to reveal a second mask.

“I’ll be okay,” Tim assures, and Bruce and Dick look seconds away from arguing, but Jason interrupts, flopping down onto the couch beside Tim.

“Is someone going to start reading this sh- stuff, or what?” He motions to the book in Damian’s hand, and Damian holds to book out to Bruce, eyes wide, expectant.

Bruce drags a large chair up to Alfred’s bed, muttering “careful” as Damain climbs onto the bed, situating himself beside Alfred. Dick eyes Tim wearily, shares a silent conversation with Jason, then drops onto the plush carpet below him, his back pressed against the side of the bed and one foot stretched out in front of him.

Alfred watches, an unreadable expression painted across his face. He looks to Jason, who’s tugging Tim’s legs up over his, and then to Dick, who’s face has gone soft as he watches the two. He’s slowly moves to see Damian curled up at his side, small and still beside him, and then he meets Bruce’s eyes, and Bruce smiles, a rare sight that never fails to warm him to the core.

“I’m sure you all have much work to do,” Alfred tries, and Bruce shakes his head and flicks open the book.

“There’s nowhere else we’d rather be, Al.”

[catxsnow]

THOMAS WAYNE B.W.

Request: Hi love, I was wondering if you can do a batmom imagine where both her and Bruce have a child together but they have selective mutism where they only talk to Bruce, batmom and Alfred.

Warning: I didn’t really know what I was doing, fluff, LMAO Jason’s death 

A/N: I was really winging it with this one I hope it sufficed for you! 

GIF not mine

Word count: 2.8k

You and Bruce had been together a long time. Long enough that you had to cry by his side when Jason died. Long enough to help get through the pain of losing him and having Tim fill a void that he couldn't replace. Long enough that you knew the Batman possibly more than he knew himself.

Bruce loved you, he did for a long time. It wasn't until Dick had moved on from Robin did he realize how much he relied on you. Batman without Robin was dangerous, but Bruce Wayne without (Y/N) (L/N)? That would have been even worse.

Life with him was far from perfect but you had found perfection within each day and that was all that matter. No matter how many times you or Alfred had to stitch him up or lecture him for being so reckless, all that mattered was that you got to fall asleep next to him every night. As long as you were safe in his arms, that was all that he cared about.

After years of dating, you had gotten pregnant. It had totally been an accident, but the second that Bruce saw his son's face, he knew that he wouldn't trade it for the world. You had named your son Thomas, after his father. Bruce had nearly cried when you offered the name.

Thomas Wayne had been the exact kind of child that you expected. He loved his father, and he loved his older brothers. Dick was barely out of being Robin when Thomas was born. He was the only reason that Dick willing came back to the manor - and to visit you as well. He was the exact kind of older brother that you wanted for your kid.

Jason on the other hand... you didn't trust Thomas with him without you there as well. He was there for a lot of big moments with Thomas - walking, learning how to talk, potty training. Jason had surprisingly been willing to help - but also was wanting to put your son in less than ideal situations.

The batcave was their favourite place to hide away from you. Jason would show your son all those cool tricks he could do and half the time he would get so distracted he wouldn't notice Thomas walk off and try to grab something sharp and dangerous. It didn't matter, Jason quickly became his favourite and would nearly chat his ear off.

It was when Jason had died did things really change.

Bruce had lost himself. He became violent as Batman, more willing to teeter of his line of morality. He was a changed person, and if it wasn't for you he didn't know how badly he would have ended up. You worried about your lover, a lot. Nothing you did seem to be able to help him over come Jason's death.

It didn't just affect him, it had affect your son as well. Thomas had gone quiet, very quiet for any five year old. It worried you and Bruce. Jason's death had devastated him to a point that you didn't think he would ever be able to go back to his old self. He would talk to you and Bruce just like he always had, Alfred too. But anyone else that came near him? Silence.

You were sure that Thomas had become petrified that if he came close to someone again that he would lose them. Even Dick, the only other person he had known his whole life had been excluded from his life. You felt terrible for your oldest son - you didn't wish it to be this way. No one had.

When Tim came around, you thought things might change. Bruce was slowly becoming his old self again, though he was still haunted by the nightmares of Jason. He was turning back into the man that you fell in love with, the man that would spoil you and call you beautiful, even when you didn't feel like it.

Thomas still remained mute around Tim. He didn't seem to hate the older boy, but he was nervous around him. Tim didn't take this personally, he knew that trauma could look like many forms. He tried his best to make Thomas comfortable around him, while it seemed to make a difference, your son still wasn't the lively child he once was.

You and Bruce truly appreciated Tim for putting in so much effort with him. Sometimes, it felt like neither of you could ever get through to him - Tim was able to do that. You had taken Thomas to therapy, counselling, anything to try and get him to talk about his feelings - everyone you went to he wouldn't say word.

It was when Damian came around did you start to have problems. Damian was the blood son of Bruce, not you. Damian was barely older than Thomas meaning that you and Bruce had still been dating when he was born. You had known about what Talia had done to Bruce, the influence that she had put him under.

The second that it had happened, he had told you. You were mad at first, of course - some other woman had sex with your boyfriend how couldn't you be? It took you a while to understand that he didn't have a choice in the matter. Bruce had been drugged, this wasn't his fault, it was hers.

You detested Damian when he first arrived. He was a reminder of his mother, someone that you despised. Damian felt the same way towards you - just because you were dating his father didn't mean that you needed to pretend that you were his mother as well. He already had one of those, he didn't need another.

Thomas seemed to get angered with Damian quite easily. Damian would tease your son, he didn't understand why he didn't talk. It wasn't something that he had seen before. Not to mention that his people skills were already terrible from being in the League his whole life.

So, when Thomas came running into your room with tears streaming down his face, you had completely lost it with Damian. He was down in the cave with Bruce when you went storming down there. Your face had been tinged red with anger and you couldn't control yourself from losing your shit with the 'blood son'.

Bruce had never seen you this angry. The threats, the pure rage that you had against this little boy that had no right to just show up here and think that he owns the place. You were furious at him for teasing your son for being a mute. Bruce had tried to step in, unsure of what was going on with you but the second that he saw your glare towards him, he knew not to get in your way.

Damian had been through a lot in his short twelve years of life. But seeing you, the girlfriend of Batman, hold him up by the collar of his suit and threaten that if he ever made fun of Thomas ever again it would be the end of him? That made him a little nervous. He had gained a respect for you that day.

He also never bothered Thomas ever again.

"Clark is bringing his son over today" Bruce told you. The two of you were laying in bed. He was laying on his back looking up at the roof while you rested against his chest. You absentmindedly traced the scars engraved on his body. "He's the same age as Thomas and Damian, maybe they can get along."

You scoffed at the idea of Damian getting along with anyone his age. "Okay, maybe Thomas and Jon will get along," Bruce changed his statement. You wanted what was best for your son, maybe a little bit of Kent mentality would help him. He always liked Superman, it had been a while since he was able to visit.

"Dick said he was coming by today, too," you tilted your head up to look at Bruce. "I think he misses me."

"I don't blame him," Bruce pecked your lips. You wished to kiss him for longer, but a loud crash from downstairs pulled you back. Bruce sighed, it was rare that you ever got to spend mornings together like this, something seemed to always ruin it. "I'm going to guess that Dick got here early."

You sighed, but agreed with his assumption. The two of you quickly got out of bed and dressed for the day to see what the hell was going on in your home. The second that you stepped foot down stairs, you couldn't help but let a smile work its way onto your face. Thomas and Dick were both to make breakfast.

"What are my two lovely boys doing this morning?" You asked. Dick nudged Thomas and jutted his head towards the coffee mug on the counter. He grabbed the mug and brought it over to you with a grin on his face. "Morning, baby." You kissed the top of his head and grabbed the hot coffee.

"I wanted to surprise you and dad, and Dick offered to help," Thomas explained to you in a low voice. He was still weary of talking around Dick, but had come a far way from what he used to be like. You looked between the two of them, Dick's cooking skill were less  trusted than your trust in Thomas' - both of which were less than good.

"Thank you, Tommy," You smiled once more at him. "Your father is on his way down, should we get coffee for him too?" Thomas nodded his head and nearly dragged you over to where you kept the mugs. While he poured another coffee, you turned to Dick.

You happily accepted his open arms. "How's my other boy?" you asked him as you pulled away. After being such an important figure in Dick's life for so long, he was always happy to call you his mother.

"Good," Dick responded. Bruce had joined you downstairs and Thomas had much the same reaction with him as he did you. "He's coming along. I remember when he wouldn't even say a word if someone else was in the room other than you and Bruce."

"I'm proud of him," you agreed. "What I'm wondering, is how Alfred let you into the kitchen after last time." Dick laughed at you accusation - but it was true. He had to very persuasively convince Alfred to let the two of them cook you breakfast. "Your bacon's burning," you patted his chest, cutting off his laughing.

You had lots of struggles with Thomas as he grew up. Going through school was difficult. The teachers would get frustrated at him and the kids would bully him. You were sure if he wasn't the son of Bruce Wayne that he would have gotten it a lot worse. As much as you hated the title of being the most famous wife in Gotham, you were glad that some good came out of it.

Thomas had trouble making friends and he rarely brought anyone home to play with. It hurt you and Bruce to see your son so upset sometimes because of how different he was. For a while. Bruce considered training Thomas into being Robin - maybe it would help him gain confidence. However, the second that you brought up the idea to your son, he had shut it down.

You wanted what was best for him, and after all these years neither of you were sure what that was going to be.

If Bruce was any other man, Thomas would have been far to grown for him to be carried around. However, both of your favourite men came towards you with your son latched onto Bruce's hip. "Did you hear who's coming over today?" You asked Thomas, who shook his head. "Clark and his son, Jon."

Thomas looked more excited than you had seen him be in a while. Bruce set him down so that he could go finish helping Dick make you a... delicious breakfast, hopefully. You cuddled into Bruce's side, watching the two boys that you raised work together. The second you looked up at him, he kissed you.

In the corner of your eye, you could see that Dick was blocking Thomas' eyes so he wouldn't have to see you kiss. You giggled at the two of them.

Thomas may have struggled lots in his life, but he had a countless amount of people that were there to support him every step of the way. You and Bruce never once neglected your son because of his condition, it was a learning curve for you both but loving your son would always come first. You were sure Bruce loved him more than he ever loved you - not that you could blame him, Thomas had that affect on people.

Not long after you finished eating breakfast, which wasn't as bad as you or Bruce were expecting it to be, Clark and Jon arrived. Damian had joined you when you were seated in the dining room though didn't say much until you told him that the Kent's were coming over. Much like his father, he was wearing of the Kryptonians.

It had been years since you had seen Jon. He was still just a little toddler who couldn't say much and couldn't control his powers. Now, he was the same age as Damian and well surpassed him in height. Clark was friendly to you, as per usual. When he looked over at Thomas, he was astonished by just how much he had grown since the last time.

"You've gotten so big," Clark exclaimed. He knelt down on one knee to be eye level with Thomas. Although your son liked Clark, he still refused to speak to him. Instead, he let out a beautiful smile and then scurried back over to you to whisper into your ear.

"Tommy says it's nice to see you again. And that he's been drinking lots of milk so that he can get just as big and strong as you," you relayed his words. Thomas tugged your sleeve down again, correcting your statement. "Oh, sorry, hun. He says he going to get bigger and stronger than you."

Clark laughed and ruffled Thomas's hair. Jon, nearly skidded on the floor as he rushed over to Thomas. "Hi! I'm Jon," he stuck his hand out to shake Thomas', to which he did. "Dad says that me and you are going to be great friends."

Thomas nodded at Jon. He held a single finger up to him as if to tell him to just wait a moment. This time, he ran over to Bruce and got him to crouch down to hearing level. He nodded along as words were whispered to him and then straightened back up again when Thomas ran back to Jon.

"Thomas would like to know if you and Damian would like to join him for ice cream this afternoon," Bruce looked over at Jon. Before arriving, Clark had told his son that Thomas was a little different from the rest of the kids as school, but he was still a good heart-ed soul.

"TT, I suppose," Damian answered, crossing his arms. He didn't look to excited to be going but you also knew him well enough that he was quite fond of the frozen treat.

"I'd love to!" Jon grinned. Thomas gestured for him to follow to where you assumed was his room. You looked over at Damian and jutted your head for him to follow as well. Reluctantly, he did. That left you, Bruce, Clark, and Dick together. Clark surely came over for business about the Justice League but you didn't bother to ask.

"You raised him well," Clark complimented you and Bruce. He didn't expect Batman to be such a loving father. Thomas needed that extra bit of love more than the other boys.

"Did we?" You asked. "I just want him to be happy, I feel like most of the time he isn't. We've gotten used to his muteness but a lot of the kids at school make fun of him for it. I worry about him."

"You're doing great, (Y/N)," Dick assured. He brought you into a side hug and kissed the top of your head. Even those you raised him for much of his life, now it seemed that he was the one that would parent you. "Thomas is a great kid, I don't think that anything is going to stop him from being happy when he's got you."

A series of laughs could be heard from upstairs. The harmony of noise brought a smile to your face. Even though you had your ups and downs raising your child in this hectic life, he was still turning out pretty okay.

Maybe you and Bruce didn't do so bad after all.

[whereflowersbloom]

Alfred’s farewell

The sky had begun gloomy since even before the sun had the chance to rise. Mist was overshadowing the city of Gotham, and drops of dew are still littering every surface. The birds were unusually quiet, nestling safely under the warmth of their nest. A large group of grey clouds lingering above the place, promising unpleasant weather to deal with later on. Lighting crackled in the grey sky and snatched away any hope of a golden day. Only songs of sadness spread around, feeling the sorrow taking place. Even the world is holding its breath and everything is still, the earth seemed to be mourning as well the unexpected loss. The atmosphere was exceptionally dark and lifeless, each face filled with silent and bitter grief and regret. Tears do not fall, there’s a blackhole forming in place of his heart. This date…this date would be burned into his soul for the rest of his existence, it would be a permanent reminder to himself of how foolish he was, how everything…could change in matter of seconds. Seconds only a few more seconds would have made the difference. The tree that was once full of life, the one Alfred looked after kindly, because he planted it himself after coming to work for Thomas and Martha Wayne, was now barren as the weather grew colder and the icy wind blew the leaves away.

There’s people gathering, familiar faces and unknown ones. The solemn mode had settled between them, and soon the ceremony comes to an end. It’s time to say farewell.

Will I always, from now on, be this cold? Was Pennyworth really gone? He didn’t dare to pronounce his name. He discerned the sounds of footsteps slowly fading away and all that was heard afterwards was the thud of knees hitting the ground. Grayson. Even Dick was so lost and crushed, the man who always looked so high-spirited and brave, so even-tempered and filled with honor, seemed so weak now.

“Alfred, I am so sorry…” Richard whispered with a low-pitched and desperate sob as he caressed the stone with his trembling hand. His face, marred for life, had an even more painful expression plastered on his face as tears started to fall slowly onto the dirt. But it’s not your fault. Damian wanted to let him know. He wasn’t there to stop it. Unlike you his mind whispered.

Jason Todd remained silent. Todd had always been quick to emotion in general, to tears when someone else was sad, to contagious laughter when their siblings were smiling, quick-tempered, choleric when provoked. Surprisingly an empathetic sensitive soul, spent many years alone, hungry for tenderness and familial ties. And yet he was wearing an expressionless mask, but his body betrayed his affliction, shaking so badly that Tim had to grasp tightly at his arms to prevent him from going down. Drake. Tim was clearly having so much invisible burden on his shoulders. His curved jaw clenching tight, and his dark blue eyes cast downwards and unblinking. He didn’t have his daily cup of black coffee. No, he didn’t have a single drop of his precious caffeine today. He kept his head low the entire ceremony, maybe he didn’t have the heart to look up at the crying mess everyone was. Perhaps he thought somebody had to tough it out, specially considering Father’s absence.

Stephanie standing close to him, blonde curls dancing with the autumn wind, biting her lips the entire time. Stephanie who tried to be strong and now, after holding in for too long, the tears break out like a leaking dam. She was devastated and weeped openly, clinging to Tim’s coat as if her life depended on it, as if she were drowning, the sight made the hole in Damian’s chest squeeze around his heart. Guilt. Distress.

Cassandra was hardly moving from her spot. She had a deep crease on her brow, and face as hard as rock. She hugged herself in the arms, shielding her frame from the icy wind, when Duke swiftly placed his Armani cashmere coat on her shoulders, her hands were going cold, and the moment Duke noticed the way she shivers with small movements. He considerately held them between his, providing temporary warmth, trying to find some kind of comfort in each other, but Cassandra avoided making eye contact with anyone, her mind was really blank as a void. Possibly still attempting to process the reality. Duke Thomas, the only one that hasn’t lost his mind amid this consequent emotional instability, drops of tears still hanging from the corner of his eyes, while the rests were slowly drying on his cheeks. Damian wasn’t exactly close to Duke but he wondered how he managed to carry on. Where did he find the strength to persist? Damian walked closer to the tombstone, feeling resignation seep into his bones.

Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth, beloved father, grandfather, mentor, friend, heroic veteran, a talented cook, a man of family, with a great big heart. Alfred Pennyworth had been a man with many facets. He brought balance to this dysfunctional family, he was the peace and voice of reason. Alfred who made Dick stay in bed when he was badly injured and encouraged him to eat proper meals, lectured Jason for his vulgar language, introduced Jason into the culinary arts, trusting him with the top secret Pennyworth recipes, who secretly switched Tim’s coffee for decaffeinated when he had too much, who prepared Stephanie waffles after a night out patrolling, didn’t say a word of the nights she sneaked out with Kara, who enjoyed the company of Cassandra lurking around the manor, when she’s having a bad day he used to watch the stars with her, listening to Cass make up stories about each star, Alfred who never had to fix anything Duke broke because Thomas instantly apologized and offered to fix it himself, Alfred that found intriguing sudden Duke’s interest in gardening. Alfred... who who spend each and every Damian’s birthdays with him ‘every birthday is special and must be celebrated Master Damian’, gifted him a cat because it made him think of him, offered him a cup of hot chocolate or tea sleepless nights. Alfred, who told him he was proud of him. Alfred, who raised him and loved him wholeheartedly until his last breath.

Damian ran his hand down a large polished stone, ‘Wayne’ carved into it expertly. He sighed wearily and stood beside a gravestone, right next to the family stone, he absentmindedly ran his fingertips along the engraved letters.

‘Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth’

August 16, 1943

-

October 10, 2019

‘The light of our household is gone. Leaving only haunting echoes lingering in this home. A place is vacant in our hearts, which will never be filled.’

It was indeed fitting. Their light was Alfred and he was gone for good. For good the words echoed in his head like an incessant prayer. He felt a pang of pain surge through him as he recalled his last moments with the man who raised him. It felt as if his life was torn apart just yesterday.

‘I miss him already.’ Cassandra gestured in sign language, a single tear rolling down her cheeks. Damian didn’t know if she was saying it to him or his siblings, maybe she just wished to get the weight off her chest, when he didn’t think it could, his heart broke even more.

“Fuck.” Jason swore with pained voice, his turquoise eyes blurring with angry tears that he wiped away roughly. Not particularly at his siblings but himself. For not being able to protect the man who offered a ray of kindness to him, who nurtured his severely malnourished body to health. He didn’t blame Bruce or the others. He was supposed to be better, strong enough to defend his father. Dick was a fucking mess in the dirt,embracing the tombstone with all his strength, like it would somehow bring the dead man back to life. Steph wouldn’t stop crying. Tim was silently punishing himself in his own way, and Cass had been in a mental limbo until a a minute ago. Bruce wouldn’t leave his room for Pete’s sake. He isolated himself from everything and everyone, he simply existed in his bedroom. Not surprised. He should be here, saying goodbye to Alfred, who dedicate his entire life to help him, instead of retreating to a dark room and lying in bed, brooding over his problems. Damian. Damian was so young, he looked like hell, devastated as everyone else. Jason could detect the shadow of regret in his green eyes. He’s seen it before because he experienced it and he saw it every day in Bruce’s eyes. But at least Damian was here, dealing with the crude reality and his anguish.

It felt unreal, like this was only a horrible slow-motion nightmare and they would wake up any minute, a sharp knife that bore a hole through their hearts yet they kept on standing still.

Perhaps it was time to fulfill Alfred’s wishes. He wanted Bruce to set his thirst for justice aside and find happiness, maybe a companion, spend quality time with the children, who clearly weren’t children anymore. The youngest being Damian, who just turned fifteen a couple of months ago. He wanted Richard to start a family of his own with Barbara. He wanted Jason to come back home and stop fighting with a Bruce. He wanted a Tim to seek professional help, see a counselor, quit drinking that damned coffee in excess. Stephanie to stop denying her feelings for Tim and give their relationship a chance. Cassandra constantly suppressing her emotions, fearing to get attached, she was human not a machine trained to commit murder when ordered. Duke should leave behind any doubts to forge his own path and accept he was loved by their family. Damian who Alfred loved like his own grandchild, no matter what he did or what type of person he decided to become, Alfred would always be proud of Damian. ‘In the end, you makes you. No one else, Master Damian.’

“How are you holding up, shortstack?” Jason asked him unexpectedly, snapping out of it, he didn’t know how long his mind had been replaying fond memories with Alfred, he felt the weight of Jason’s hand falling on his shoulder, wearing a genuinely concerned expression.

A cold wind passed by, gracing the leaves and making some brief sounds. The wind leaving with a trail in the form of chilly, close to freezing air. Damian weighted the question in his head. There was only ever-growing emptiness in his chest. After a long moment he spoke.

“I will live.” Damian answered softly, eyes completely fixed on the stone. “I’ll miss him, too...brother.” The young Robin unreservedly confessed, Jason looked slightly taken aback at the words Damian muttered. Damian’s emotions were expressed with snarky comments, throwing daggers and knives, making deadly threats and intimidating stares. He had an aggressive and confrontational demeanor. Damian has never called Jason brother, but it made his lips curl into a small smile. Yes, he was his brother.

Damian was vaguely aware of Jason’s body heat now at his side, followed by Richard who was helped by Tim to stand up, his chest sore from sobbing, black suit covered in dirt but he didn’t seem to care. Meaningless material assets, nothing compared to the irreparable loss they suffered hours ago. Steph took a couple of steps closer to them, her eyes, twins pools of sadness, red and swollen, soon the Wayne siblings gathered around their youngest brother. Embracing tightly the teenager into a group hug.

They shared the same deep numbing pain, but it's more agonizing for Damian because he had been there when it happened, they all knew Damian was suffering so much. The feeling ate him inside, consuming and breaking every part of him miserably. But he isn’t alone anymore, he has his family with him. Damian’s tears are hot and travel down his tanned cheeks, he didn’t want to cry but he couldn’t hold it in any longer, the heartache, the loss, agony, guilt, everything was hitting him all at once. It hurt so much knowing full well that Alfred won't wake up ever again from this neverending deep sleep, buried under the ground lonely and cold and breathless. His grandfather.

It'll be just the the eight of them and it is frightening to accept the truth, that Alfred wouldn’t be around anymore to look after them like he did after all these years. Ever since he first set foot in the Wayne manor. He would me missed every single day. Rchard’s heart broke at the sight of Damian in such crumbling state, his characteristic composure fallen and so alien after living together so many years. Damian was broken too. Dick did the only thing he could think of, patted him affectionately on the back, rubbing it soothingly, mumbling quietly “We are here, Dami.” Letting him know they were all there for him in every possible way. They would try to carry our Alfred’s last wish, for them to get along, integrate, be an harmonious family. Be true siblings. Always Alfred’s children. Together they sang farewell to Alfred with broken chords.

I am not sure if I want to edit this later but here s the progress. I might add Bruce’s part later or tomorrow. My tribute to Alfred 💜❤️❤️❤️

@sofiii @chromium7sky @deep-in-mind67

[kumeko]

For @dickgraysonexchange2020, for courage_boss! I had a lot of fun with this one.

Prompt: Dick gets a coupon book for his bday and uses all but the last one.

…

…

…

…

If there was one good thing about Bruce Wayne’s string of adoptions, it was that events were never a quiet affair. No matter how much Jason or Damian might have wanted them to be. Dick, on the other hand, embraced the fullness of the manor. The place felt too empty and stuffy on a normal day, what with most of the family out and about.

 It was only for special days, like his birthday, that everyone gathered together again. Between his friends and family, every room felt full, the manor bursting with sound and life. A far cry from the dreary dinners when it had just been the three of them, with Bruce awkwardly figuring out parenting and Alfred kindly filling in the gaps.

 Walking around with a slice of cake, Dick spotted Alfred and grinned. He meandered over. “Alfred, one of these days, you’re going to realize just how much you’d make running a restaurant.”

 Alfred chuckled. “Perhaps, Master Richard, but the last time I left, the manor collapsed.” His expression was fond. “It’s too much work fixing it after.”

 “That…” Dick couldn’t even argue. Anytime Alfred left on vacation, sabbatical, whatever, nothing went right. The kitchen burned. Bruce forgot to eat or sleep. Mold and dust became new tenants. “It’s all a ploy to keep you here longer.”

 “Then it is certainly working.” His smile looked more amused than weary. “You certainly do keep me on my toes.”

“Dick!” Tim poked his head out of the study. Spotting him, he gestured for him to come. “Got a sec?”

 “It’s only a party,” Dick teased, nodding to Alfred before going. “Not like I have anything important to miss.”

 Tim rolled his eyes. “You could have been talking to someone.” Despite his cavalier words, his cheeks reddened from embarrassment.

 Dick didn’t press the matter, storing it away instead for later teasing. “What’s up?” he asked as he stepped into the study.

 There was no such thing as a small room in the Wayne manor. Yet, crowded with Damian, Cassandra, Tim, Bruce, and Jason, the study suddenly felt cozy. Dick grinned, unable to help himself. “The whole gang’s here!”

 Jason clicked his teeth. “Let’s get it over with.”

 “For once, I agree with the failure,” Damian added, crossing his arms.

 “Aww, don’t be like that.” Dick sidled up to them, planting himself in between. Before they could react, he loped an arm around their shoulders. “You both came, after all.”

 “I made sure of it,” Bruce said simply. Dick wasn’t sure what that entailed. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to.

 Damian squawked. “I didn’t—”

 “Don’t you—” Jason growled, tossing off Dick’s arm.

 “We got you a gift!” Tim interrupted, before a fight could erupt. He held out a small, neatly wrapped box. The wrapping paper and ribbon were a soft blue, matching his Nightwing costume. “Everyone chipped in.”

 “Chipped in?” Dick reluctantly let go of the two to accept. Ignoring how Damian and Jason immediately escaped to the other side of the room, he carefully pulled the ribbons and unwrapped. What could it possibly be, if everyone chipped in and it was so tiny? Tickets? A gadget? A thick wad of cash?

 Oddly enough, none of those. Instead there was a small book inside, roughly the size of a chequebook. Scrawled neatly on the top was Coupons.

 “A coupon book?” Confused, he looked up at Tim. “You guys chipped in for a coupon book?”

 “Look inside,” Tim encouraged, his smile so wide it nearly split his face in half.

 “Okay…” Still bemused, he quickly flipped through the pages. Defeat your enemies. Do a chore. Take the night off. Massage. The writing differed from page to page, from Damian’s neat, cramped writing to Cassandra’s messy flowing one. Most of them were made by Tim though, and they were of course all the normal ones.

 It was better than anything he’d imagined. Feeling utterly soft, he quickly hugged Tim. “Thanks.” Without missing a beat, he pounced on Damian and Jason. Despite their protests, they didn’t squirm out of his grip. Finally, he rounded on Cass and Bruce, both of which hugged him back awkwardly, as though they weren’t sure quite how.

 “I can’t believe you made this,” he said, finally untangling himself.

 “Well, considering everything we have, it’s hard to buy gifts.” Tim shrugged. “Steph had the idea, actually.”

 Well, that made sense. She always had the fun, interesting ideas.  Dick made note to thank her later. “I can’t believe you two agreed to this,” he said, looking at Damian and Jason.

 “A little strong arming from Cass,” Tim explained.

 “I did not get threa—” Damian protested, glaring at Tim. Hopefully this didn’t lead to the two of them stabbing each other in the batcave later. Then again, there was a clean the batcave ticket too, maybe he could have them clean up after their mess.

 “I did not have to…convince Damian,” Cassandra replied stiffly. Despite how much time had passed, words were still her second most fluent language. “He was…agreeing to this.”

 “Really?” Jason guffawed.

 “That’s because no one can strong arm me,” Damian growled, his lips curling into a sneer as he glared at Jason. “And that means she did strong arm you.”

 “Stop,” Bruce warned, rubbing his forehead. “We’re in the middle of a party.”

 “Oh, don’t worry, I have that covered.” Dick whistled as he flipped through the coupon book, stopping at one of them. Tearing it out, he grinned. “Now, one of you two has to compliment me…who should I pick?”

 -x-

 “You…want me to cook?” Cassandra’s brow furrowed as she stared at the little slip of paper in her hands.

 “More or less.” Dick grinned as he led the way to his kitchen. His apartment was a small thing compared to the manor, but it was home, and there was something energizing about having someone over. If there was one thing he loved about the coupon book above all else, it was that it gave him an excuse to invite his far-flung family over.

 She cocked her head, still looking troubled. “I am not…good at it.”

 “That’s fine!” Dick hummed as he pulled out two aprons from his cupboard, handing one over to her. “As long as it’s edible.”

 “You…have one too?” Cassandra awkwardly stared at the bird-print apron, then at him.

 Laughing, he slowly put it on, demonstrating how to tie it all together. He should have expected that; his family was more comfortable fighting than they were in the kitchen, and it showed. “Yeah, we’ll cook together. It’s more fun that way, right?”

 Cassandra smiled, a small thing, and nodded. “Yes.”

 -x-

 Standing next to the old grandfather clock, Bruce crossed his arms. Honestly, he didn’t need to wear a mask to intimidate; his scowl was more than enough to scare off any random two-bit goon. “This isn’t what they were intended for.”

 Despite his words, he still hadn’t opened the passage to the batcave, and Dick considered that victory. It at least meant that Bruce was willing to hear him out. Holding out the paper, he shook his head. “How? I’m using them.”

 Bruce’s frown grew deeper. “Dick, that is supposed to be a night off for you.”

 “No, it just says night off.” Honestly, Bruce should have known better: Dick loved arguing semantics. Finding loopholes in Bruce’s rules was what he lived for. “So I’m giving you a night off.”

 “I—”

 “Babs and the Birds of Prey agreed to cover.” Dick pressed the coupon on Bruce’s chest confidently. “You’re not in the middle of a case. Perfect time for a night in.”

 “Dick…” Bruce ran a hand through his hair. Another push and he’d cave in. “Look, I appreciate it, but…”

 “Master Richard, Master Bruce.” Alfred stepped into the room and while Dick would never accuse him of something as underhanded as eavesdropping, the timing was suspect. “I have prepared the living room for your marathon. Master Timothy and Miss Cassandra are already there, though Master Damian has refused to join.”

 “Et tu, Alfred?” Bruce sighed, giving in. “Fine, but drag Damian down too, Dick. He’s not allowed to worm his way out.”

 “The if I go down, he goes down with me gambit.” Dick grinned. “I got it covered.”

 -x-

 Tim stared at the fruity mocktail he was holding, worrying his bottom lip. “I don’t think this is what Jason had in mind.”

 “I never go by what Jason has in mind,” Dick countered, drinking his own cocktail. Sipping from his ridiculously curly straw, he leaned back in his seat. “It’s always more fun that way.”

 “That’s…true,” Tim reluctantly agreed, surveying the rest of the batcave.

 Honestly, there couldn’t be anything better than relaxing by the computer, eating popcorn, and watching Damian and Jason handle all of the cleaning. Sure, they had automated robots and machines to handle this. This chore had been struck from the list years ago, after Bruce had upgraded the whole cave.

 Yet, sometimes Dick just wanted to see things done the old-fashioned way. Like Jason washing the batcar. Or Damian scrubbing the costumes. Both of them were quietly swearing as they worked, occasionally shooting him a dirty glare. He didn’t have to read their minds to know he’d have to watch his sleep for the next week; if they could murder him, they would.

 “Don’t forget the bat droppings,” he added cheerfully.

 If he was going to die young, might as well go out with a bang.

  -x-

 Dick sighed as he stared at the coupon book. In the span of a month, he’d managed to use almost all thirty of them, most of them in the most frivolous way possible. He didn’t regret it; it had been fun. No matter what ridiculous thing he came up with, his family had done it. Begrudgingly, at times, but they’d still done it.

 The whole thing had given them so many excuses to hang out, no matter what else was going on in their lives. And now it was all over. All he had left was a single Do whatever you say for a day ticket. One last one and the gift would be done.

 He sighed again. This gift was far too precious to use on a passing whim. Carefully, he folded up that last coupon, tucking it in securely into his wallet. Dick would save it for the best opportunity, for the final memory that couldn’t be replaced. A rainy day when he needed a pick-me-up.

 More importantly, it literally would force someone to do whatever he said for a day. Power like that had to be considered before he used it.

[nokomiss]

deadtedkord replied to your post “taking prompts!”

more excellent jaysteph bonding please you're stuff for them is amazing!!

Even in Gotham, it’s hard to get takeout at 4am.  

So after a particularly grueling night fighting crime -- not Arkham-escape bad, but involving the Condiment King teaming up with Mad Hatter for easily one of the grossest in every imaginable way nights Steph could remember -- the troops all ended up at the Cave, fighting over who got into the showers first. The troops in question being Bruce, Damian, Tim, Jason and herself. Steph saw the writing on the wall immediately and booked it up stairs to shower in luxury before Bruce could complain about ketchup in his fancypants rich people showers.

After convincing herself that she couldn’t, actually, just live in the bathroom at Wayne Manor for the rest of her life, Steph reluctantly got out, wondering if she could convince Bruce that installing the same shower at her decidedly less luxurious home was actually a necessary crime fighting expense. The water pressure alone had relieved a few lingering muscle aches she’d been nursing a few days.  

She ransacked various rooms for a new, mustard-free outfit -- she had clothes stashed away somewhere, but everyone knew other people’s clothes are far superior, especially when they were Selina’s yoga pants, which she was never returning because damn they were amazing, Cass’ fuzzy socks and Tim’s softest hoodie.

By the time she returned to the cave, smelling like coconut and feeling like a champ, the boys had managed to clean themselves up and were bickering about food.

“I got Stromboli’s to deliver at 3 last week,” Damian was insisting, even though the Batcomputer clearly showed that they were closed.

“Maybe we could bribe someone at Batburger? They’re open all night,” Tim suggested, sounding doubtful about the prospect.

“There’s food here,” Steph suggested, because she, too, was starving.

Silence for a moment, then Bruce said, in a voice that almost sounded sheepish, “Alfred isn’t here.”

Steph felt a little bad about the smears of ketchup she’d undoubtedly left in the bathroom. “Did he… did he take the kitchen with him?”

“Pennyworth is the only one permitted to use the kitchen,” Damian said loftily while also not looking at anyone directly.

“Yeah, but… we’re hungry,” Steph pointed out.

“They don’t know how to cook,” Tim said, gesturing towards Bruce and Damian. “They’re really bad at it.”

“Like you’re any better,” Damian snapped. “Remember when you set the microwave on fire?”

“I didn’t realize there was still a spoon in the bowl!” The tops of Tim’s ears were turning bright red.

Steph looked at the only person in the room not howling about their own ineptitude in the kitchen. “Please tell me you’re not as useless as they are.”

“I’m insulted that you would think I am,” Jason replied. “I certainly didn’t grow up with a butler.”

Steph sighed, and said, “Wanna go make some food?”

Jason looked at the other three, who were suddenly very focused on writing the night’s mission report. “If it means we’re done with the paperwork, yeah.”

So she climbed the steps to up to the manor for the second time that night, and when she entered the kitchen she suddenly understood the silence and sheepish looks.

“I have seen active crime scenes less disastrous than this kitchen,” Jason said with an awed tone.

“How long has Alfred been gone? A year?” Steph said, staring. “And the question is, is he ever gonna return if he knows this is waiting on him?”

 “Probably he will, but he’ll finally snap and murder them all in a dishes-fueled rage,” Jason said, poking at the mountain of dirty china piled haphazardly in and around the sink.  He poked at a dish. “I’m pretty sure someone ate Spaghetti-Os out of fine china. Is this a real silver spoon?”

The spoon in question had curdled milk clinging to it.

“Okay so ten minutes ago, I would have told you there was no way anything could be grosser than Mad Hatter flopping around in a pool of mayonnaise,” Steph said, “but oh, how I have been proven wrong.”

“How do they even function as human beings?” Jason wondered. “Was it always this bad? I mean, I lived here. I know Bruce is an absolute moron in the kitchen. But…”  He looked around. “Wow.”

“Do you suddenly feel so much better about yourself as a person?” Steph said. “Because I gotta say. Really feeling good about myself right now.”

Jason offered a hand to high five, and Steph did, happily. They rummaged through the pantry side-by-side and found that the staples were still intact, though anything ready-made had been ransacked.  The fridge offered up similar bounty -- takeout leftovers of questionable providence, some wilting produce, and basics.  

“Pancakes?” Steph suggested once she saw the state of the waffle iron -- had someone tried to make a grilled cheese on it? -- and pulled out the dry ingredients. “I’m not willing to eat anything that requires a condiment right now.”  Thankfully maple syrup had not been one of Condiment King’s weapons of choice.

“I’ll make eggs,” Jason said, pulling out a carton. “And there’s some fake bacon of Damian’s.”

“We are a breakfast-making machine,” Steph said. It was true, too -- away from the chaos of crime fighting, she found that working alongside Jason in the kitchen was surprisingly easy. Steph stared at the sink again, and said, “I think that it’s time that certain vigilantes learned the domestic arts.”

“Yeah, we can’t let Alfred come back to this,” Jason said. “He’s too valuable. If he quit--”

“We’d never have his cookies ever again,” Steph said in horror. 

“Maybe we could steal Alfred,” Jason said after a pause. “Like, let nature take its course, then swoop in and take Alfred for our own.”

“Share custody of him,” Steph said, nodding. “We could put him on a rotating schedule, and give him days off, and… I don’t know. Let him join a book club, instead of spending all his time with these disasters.”

They spent a few moments in quiet contemplation of a life where Alfred showed up and made creme brulee at any hour of the day.  Then Steph sighed, giving the pancake batter one last stir before letting it sit and moving to the stove, clearing off several crystal goblets with what looked like coffee dregs in them before finding a griddle.  “There’s only one flaw with our plan.”

“The thing where Alfred loves Bruce like a son and would never abandon him to die alone and hungry in his filthy mansion?” Jason flipped the fake bacon.

“That’s the one,” Steph said, deciding the griddle was hot enough and spooning pancake batter onto it in cute little shapes. She thought that Damian’s should be hearts, and she experimented with bat-shapes for Bruce. 

Jason peered over and saw what she was doing. “I want stars.”

“Of course you do,” Steph said, though she tried to make one as soon as Damian’s hearts were done. It turned out a little wonky, but still recognizable. She was awesome. “Gotta be difficult, right?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jason replied, cracking eggs into a bowl.  He glanced at the kitchen door. “Are they hiding in the cave in shame?”

“Like, it’s wrong, but the fact that I think they are makes me really happy,” Steph said. “Like, kind of makes up for all those times they acted like I was a moron for not knowing something.”

“Right?” Jason said. 

“I mean, how do you master dozens of different kinds of kung fu, but never once master the grilled cheese? I was making my own grilled cheese in kindergarten!”

“There are only three ingredients,” Jason agreed. “It’s a true embarrassment.”

“We should nominate him for Worst Cooks In America,” Steph said. “I really want to see Bruce on reality television, and that would be comedy gold.”

“Just seeing him get an invitation to be one of the worst of anything would be fucking amazing,” Jason said. “Like, congratulations, sir, you suck at this.”

“You suck so hard we want to feature you on television,” Steph snickered.  She flipped the last of Bruce’s pancakes onto a plate before they burned, and began making Tim’s. She tried to make a coffee mug shape, but it turned out looking like a blob, so she made teddy bears instead.  

“I mean, I kind of get why they’re so terrible at it,” Steph said, “given their upbringings. But I would have literally starved if I hadn’t figured out how to cook early on. Takeout was not an option.”

“Right? Only for special occasions,” Jason said. “The rest of the time, you had to make shit yourself.”

“Exactly,” Steph nodded. They didn’t really talk much about how they were the ones in the family who’d grown up poor, who’d spent a lot of time raising themselves because their parents hadn’t been capable of it. She knew it was why Bruce had compared them so much -- there was a startling amount of similarities between their childhoods, from their mothers’ drug problems to their fathers’ criminal inclinations -- and for once, it felt nice to be the ones with the necessary skills while everyone else floundered. 

They grinned at each other, then put the last of the food onto the plates.  Steph grabbed the maple syrup, and stopped short, staring at the calendar on the fridge. “Four days!”

“What?” Jason said through a mouthful of fake bacon.

“Alfred has only been gone four days,” Steph said, pointing to the note on the fridge, “and he left prepared meals.”  

They gazed in wonder at the chaos around them. 

“He’s going to be back tomorrow,” Jason said suddenly, pointing.  

“Okay, so we feed the troops, then we start Mission: Learn to Do the Damn Dishes,” Steph said. Sleep was for the weak. 

“Yes, ma’am,” Jason said, and followed her to the breakfast nook, setting down Tim and Damian’s plates and going back for the rest. “Wanna tell them now?”

“Let them have a final meal first,” Steph said. “Then we’ll light a fire under them.”

Jason grinned. By the time Bruce, Tim and Damian came out of the Cave, she and Jason had polished off half of their meal, and Steph had to admit that delivering a lecture to Batman about chores was one of the highlights of her week.  Possibly the entire month.

It took until dawn, but Alfred came home to a kitchen that no longer looked like it had witnessed the collapse of civilization.

[redhoodieone]

But We’re Your Family!

A/N: Okay, I’m back! Yes, I wanted to end this little series with a happy ending. Let me know what you think! 

Warnings: Language, mentions of sex, and just cute and adorable Damian Wayne.

“This is going to be so fucking awkward,” Jason complains, as we walk up to the front door at Wayne Manor. “I haven’t been here in a long time.”

Yes, after our little anniversary sexy time last night, Jason and I had come to an agreement to celebrate with his family tonight. Despite our anxious nerves, we feared what could happen.

Jason fixes his black tie as we wait for Alfred to answer the door. We dressed up knowing Bruce would want this to be special occasion. There stood my tall boyfriend, wearing a nice black suit that compliments his muscular fit frame. I decided on a short black dress that displays my womanly curves.

And I proudly wear the golden chain necklace with the ‘J’ pendent rearing in front of my chest.

Alfred answers and smiles at us. “Ah, good evening Master Todd and Lady Y/N, come on in. Dinner is about to be served.”

Alfred lets us in, and we follow him to the dining room. The old gentleman has always been pleasant and friendly to me, and I wonder if he’s been like this with all of Jason’s past girlfriends.

Passing by the beautiful, expensive portraits, Jason links his arm to mine to hold.

 What a gentleman. He must have learned after Bruce and Alfred.

 “Perfect timing then, huh? I’m starving,” I joke.

 “Of course,” Alfred says kindly, before eyeing me up and down. He hums to himself and continues walking.

 I raise a questioning eyebrow at Jason. “What was that? Did I say or do something rude?” I whisper to him.

 “No. Maybe he’s just a little on edge since I’m back...in the family and all,” Jason whispers back, his tone revealing how nervous he is being here. “After everything...you know?”

 “You really need to give yourself a break, Jay. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone fucks up,” I insist quietly.

 “No one has fucked up the way I have, doll.”

 Just hearing Jason’s voice filled with guilt, disappointment, and anxiety, I feel horrible dragging him back here to the place he hasn’t called home since his falling out with Bruce. Even though Bruce apologized to Jason for beating the shit out of him, Jason’s always been apprehensive and on guard around his family members.

 I suddenly feel like maybe we should leave. If I can’t get him to relax, then leaving would probably be best.

 “If you want to, we can leave right now. I’ll understand,” I say softly. With my other hand, I rub his arm that is encircled with my arm. “I’ll tell them we had to leave because Roy needs help or something.”

 “No,” Jason interrupts but quickly regrets saying it loud to me. “We’re here together, and... I need to face them and get it over with. I love you so fucking much, and I need them to know how I feel about you and why you’re so important to me. We’re endgame, Y/N. This is it for me.”

 Jason halts, and I stop alongside him since our arms are wrapped together. Alfred continues walking, not even noticing we stopped.

 “Endgame? This is it for you?” I ask him seriously. “I don’t understand.”

“Yes, I’m fucking serious doll. You’re the only one I want. You’re the only one I want to be with. If I had to fucking grow up and say what I want for my future, I can honestly say you’re my future and it doesn’t scare me one bit. I mean, Y/N, you’ve changed my life. You’ve changed me...for the better,” Jason continues, feeling his chest tighten with his secret confessions. He lets go of my arm and holds my hands while he stares down at me. Those blue eyes shine with tear drops. “I sure as hell don’t jump into a fight without a plan anymore. Because I gotta stay alive and be smart just so I can get back home to you now. I stopped drinking and smoking so much, because I know it makes you uncomfortable as fuck because of your parents’ bad habits when you were little. I even...talk about my feelings with you because I know I can’t be a closed book if we’re together. You see, Y/N? I’ve never been so serious before in my life, and now all I want is you forever.”

 I smile and kiss his cheek; stunning him, since he believed I would have kissed his lips. “And after everything that’s happened to you, you deserve this. You deserve happiness, Jay,” I reply honestly.

 “Then all I need is you to be happy,” Jason accepts my answer, and sighs as he looks at the dining room near us. “Now let’s go eat dinner with my insane family or we’ll never hear the end of it.”

 “As long as we’re together we can handle your family,” I say.

 Jason exhales again and holds my arm as he leads us into the dining room. The long wooden dining table seems as big as my apartment living room. Bruce is seated at the end, while Dick, Barbara, Tim, and Damian are seated nearby; dressed up as us, too.

 While Dick, Barbara, and Tim offer friendly smiles to us, Bruce looks just as nervous as Jason while Damian scowls at us.

 Bruce stands to greet us. “Jason, Y/N,” Bruce greets us as he pats Jason’s back gently and kisses my hand. “Pleasure to have you here.”

 I blush and giggle from the politeness of Bruce Wayne, while Jason rolls his eyes and scoffs at his father.

 “Come and have a seat,” Bruce says, and guides us to the table. I notice Bruce motions me to sit next to him, but I end up sneaking by Jason, so he could. I could tell they’re both extremely uncomfortable and nervous around each other.

 Jason reluctantly takes a seat beside Bruce, while I sit on the other side of Jason. I immediately frown when Damian makes Tim switch seats with him so Damian could sit next to me for some unknown reason.

 Dressed in identical suits, Dick and Tim almost resemble twins with their dair hair slicked back and those intriguing blue eyes. Damian looks like he could pass off as Jason’s clone; both boys didn’t even bother slicking their hair back as they opted to keep their hair messy and spiked in some parts. Dick and Tim whisper something to each other and then smile at me. Bruce glares at them and gives me a relaxing grin.

 “I think it’s so amazing that you guys just celebrated your two-year anniversary! Do you guys have anything planned for the weekend?” Barbara asks, resting her chin on her hands, as she gazes at us. “Where are you taking Y/N?”

 “Yes, and no, I’m not telling anyone because it’s a surprise,” Jason growls through his teeth at her.

 I didn’t even know Jason planned something for us this weekend. He really must not want anyone to know.

 “Jason did give me this,” I say, pointing to my necklace.

 “That is so beautiful!” Barbara says excitedly.

 “Well, yeah because we all were there when Jason bought it, remember?” Dick reminds her.

 “I’m surprised he didn’t get her a cheap 50 cent ring from the grocery store,” Tim jokes.

 “And once again, fuck you replacement!” Jason says, smirking at Tim.

 “Alright, Jason you let us help you with the anniversary gift but why won’t you tell us what you have planned?” Barbara asks.

 “A weekend trip away sounds very nice. I think Paris is the best choice since it’s a romantic landmark to most,” Tim suggests.

 “I’ve actually never been to Pairs before,” I admit. From the looks of it, the family around me has been there once or many times since they’re all smiling and look lost in thought.

 “You should take her!” Dick cries out dramatically. “It’s so beautiful and romantic!”

 “Dick...” Bruce warns.

 “What?!” Dick whines.

 “T-t.” Damian scoffs.

 Alfred sets down a delicious smelling cooked brisket, with garlic mashed potatoes, buttered corn on the cob, and side salads that look like they came from Olive Garden. My mouth waters at the sight of the food.

 “What’s wrong with Paris?” Tim asks Bruce.

 “Nothing is wrong with Paris, but I guess Jason’s too good to take Y/N to Paris!” Dick joins in.

 “Or maybe he has something else planned,” Barbara tries to reason with Dick.

 “It doesn’t seem like he has a plan at all!” Tim argues.

 “You all need to stop. Now.” Bruce threatens.

 “Tell us your plan! I want to know!” Dick demands.

 “Like I said before, we already have plans!” Jason answers annoyed. “And I’m not telling anyone!”

 I’m about to turn to Jason and ask why he’s so angry about being asked about the weekend, but Damian clears his throat and it stops the arguing as all eyes focus on the blood son.

 “Are we going to ignore the fact that Todd had sexual intercourse with Y/LN and we all watched last night? Are we going to address Y/LN’s role in our family now?” Damian asks curiously.

 It’s silent between all of us. My cheeks burn with embarrassment and I glance over at Jason who’s face, and body has frozen with fear.

 And I’ve never seen Jason afraid until now.

 “Yeah...let’s talk about that. So, I gotta ask! What’s the sex like?” Dick asks, giggling like a child. He looks at Jason and then me repeatedly. He must be very curious to know. “Is he too selfish? Do I need to talk to him and give him pointers? Is there anything I can personally do for you, Y/N?”

 “Dick!” Barbara shouts. She looks humiliated!

 “Oh my God,” I mumble shyly.

 “That’s none of your fucking business, dickhead!” Jason snaps angrily. He stands up to glare at his older brother. “I fucking treat my Y/N like a queen. I fucking love to eat her out, make her cum every time, and hold her after because I know cuddling is a big deal for her when she’s weak and tired. I fucking worship her body, her curves, and her thick thighs because honestly she’s too good for me and I’m even lucky enough to see her naked. I fucking love her and I’m always going to please her. So, the answer to all your questions is: fuck you dickface!”

 Dick stares at Jason with an open mouth and shocked face. Bruce sighs, and rubs his eyes. Tim and Barbara shrug at each other. Damian continues to watch me while Alfred exhales stressfully at everyone.

 I decide I need to fix this before things get worse.

 “Okay, I’m going to answer every question and try to explain things better so everyone understands, is that okay? Damian, yes, Jason and I do have sex. You see, we have sex because we are...” I pause, trying to think clearly where to take his since Damian’s 14-years-old, and wouldn’t want descriptive details. Bruce nods his head in my direction to go on. “We have sex because we’re sexually attracted to each other. It feels good. It feels so good, I mean, REALLY good. We love each other so much that having sex is something couples do when they want to help each other feel good. What you saw last night was exactly that. We were celebrating our two-year anniversary and we didn’t think anyone would see. So, I’m really sorry about that. I can only imagine that watching us could have been a frightening and embarrassing moment for you, but I think when you get older, you’d find it perfectly natural and normal to do.”

 Damian raises an eyebrow. “I wasn’t exactly frightened nor embarrassed, Y/LN. My questions are merely about why you and Todd have sexual intercourse like animals. Todd was on top of you like a lion gets on top of a lioness in the jungle, except he did not penetrate you from behind. You were awfully loud too, as if you were going to cry. And besides your specific choice of sexual positions is also questionable. You allowed Todd to dominate you. But my main concern is if you are using birth control. Because If I know Todd and I unfortunately do, I can honestly say he would try to impregnate you to keep you for himself. Now tell me, Y/LN, you’re not against having children, are you? And if not, are you both using all types of protection during sexual intercourse?” Damian asks with complete fascination.

 Whether he’s genuinely curious or if he’s trying to start more trouble, I can tell Damian is clearly naive about relationships.

 Jason spits out his drink. He chokes and hits his chest to clear his throat.

 “WHAT?!” Jason shouts.

 “I am merely asking because I want a nephew. I have already seen you two engage in animalistic sex, and everyone with a brilliant mind knows sex is purely for procreation. Now, when shall I receive my nephew?” Damian asks me. “Nine months, correct? I hope I don’t have to wait until next year for you two to start reproducing.”

 I can feel the sweat running down my back. All eyes are on me, and I can tell we’re all uncomfortable with Damian’s questions.

 “I-I... uh...you see, Damian...” I trail off unsurely.

 “Do you want children, Y/LN?” Damian asks.

 “Uh, of course I do. I just-” I ramble on until Jason touches my hand on the table to tell me I can stop talking.

 “We’re waiting for kids, demon spawn,” Jason finally answers. His hands clench into fists on the table, and I can see his strong jawline tightening. Jason finally is able to pull off the Bat glare because Dick, Tim, and Barbara are forced to look away from him.

 “Well, why the hell would you wait, Todd?! Y/LN is clearly out of your league, and if you cannot give her what she wants, then you have no business being with her,” Damian argues back.

 “Damian!” Bruce yells.

 “What? I’m just asking what everyone else is obsessing about!” Damian defends himself.

Alfred clears his throat. We all look at him and notice he’s not pleased with us. “If I must say, I believe Master Todd and Lady Y/N will discuss their future plans when they are ready to. And I have always been correct when it comes to you children so let me put your uneasy minds at rest: they will get married and have children. And do you know how I know that? Well, I believe after every tragedy or hardships a person must go through, there is a positive light at the end of the darkness for them. You see, darkness and pain are what makes us stronger, and when we become stronger, we are then gifted with the people we love. It’s as if it’s life’s way of paying us back, and I believe Master Todd is being given a second chance at life and he deserves it so. I believe you all deserve it as well. But I believe Lady Y/N is Jason’s gift from life, and I sure hope he doesn’t bloody well screw it up!” Alfred explains.

 Jason glances at me smiling. “I’d like to believe she’s my gift from life,” Jason admits.

 “You know Jason, we may have had our problems in the past, but I know for a fact she is your gift from life. Just follow your heart and be happy. That’s all I want for you and your brothers,” Bruce says kindly.

 “Thanks Bruce,” Jason says gratefully.

 Jason swiftly stands up as Bruce, and the two hug each other. Everyone smiles and tells them it’s about time they made up. Dick quickly grabs Tim and Damian, so they join in the family hug, as well as Alfred. Barbara and I laugh but stay seated since it’s a Batboy thing.

 “I’m sorry about talking about mine and Jason’s sex life,” I apologize to Barbara. “I just didn’t think we had animalistic sex, though.”

 “You know Y/N, if it makes you feel any better, Dick is definitely a mime in bed,” Barbara confesses laughing. “He’s just as dramatic in bed as he is with people.”

 “Hey! I am not a mime!” Dick shouts. He’s clearly offended, as he pulls away from the Batboy hug. “I just…make things interesting!”

 The men and boys return to the table to sit and serve themselves dinner, finally.

 “Sometimes there are no words or facial expressions,” Barbara continues to tease Dick.

 “That’s really creepy, Dick,” Tim admits.

 “I’m not a mime!” Dick protests.

 Even Bruce and Alfred get into it.

 “Try to say a few words and make some facial expressions, Dick,” Bruce chuckles.

 “Yes, Master Grayson. Do not frighten Lady Barbara anymore,” Alfred adds.

 As the rest of them continue to embarrass Dick, Damian scoffs and looks back at me. “Now Y/LN, shall I start seeing you as a sister-in-law, since it’s clear Todd is never going to let you go?” he asks.

 “I think you can,” I answer. I gasp when Jason kisses my cheek and holds me.

 “You definitely can, demon spawn.”

 Just when we are eating and enjoying each other’s company, Damian slowly looks up at everyone and smiles.

 “I would still like to know when I’ll receive a nephew since I would like to volunteer to train him and be the best Robin when I become Batman one day,” Damian confesses, and turns to Jason and me specifically. “Perhaps you should be impregnated soon, Y/LN. So that way my nephew will be born in spring; the significant birth date as a baby Robin being born in the season of beginning life.”

 “I like that idea a lot,” Bruce admits.

 “Can we just get through this dinner first?” I ask nervously.

 “Just give us a hint! A clue!” Dick and Barbara shout out.

 “No!” Jason yells.

 Alfred, Bruce, Dick, Barbara, Tim, and Damian all shout: “But we’re your family!”

 After dinner, I was graciously welcomed into the family. As Jason and I walk back to his car, he stops me. “What’s wrong?” I ask. Did we forget something?

 Jason kisses me. The way our lips fit, and touch makes us both breathless.

 “Nothing is wrong. I’m just appreciating and being thankful for life giving you to me,” Jason whispers.

 “Me too Jason.”

 “And I think when we get home, we should start practicing for…you know,” Jason chuckles and kisses my cheek. “I mean, if we’re going to have a baby in spring, it’s gonna take a lot of dirty fun to make it happen.”

“Oh Jason,” I sigh, and roll my eyes.

“Remember doll, life gave me you,” Jason reminds me. “I’m never letting you go, Y/N.”

“And life gave you to me, and I would never let you go.”

Never.

[g-on-ef]

Hi! You mentioned in your blog that you needed a distraction and that fic-requesters were free to come your way? If this is convenient, then can I request a damijon fic? One where batfam is overprotective and keeps interrupting the time damian and jon spend together and the two get frustrated? Thanks!

A/N: Of course you can sweetie ^^

So there is no confusion Jon is 14 and Damian is 17

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

He knew it was a mistake to tell Dick that he was dating Jon, he should have listen to his instincts when they told him that it was a bad idea but Jonathan thought he was embarrassed of him because he didn’t want to tell his family about them.

The truth was in the Batfamily you learn that you share everything, the bathroom, food, your dad’s attention; anything you could think of the family shared even when the girls and their personal problems, okay that was mainly Steph but the point is if one had something they had to share with everyone in the family.

So, it was natural that Damian wanted to keep something to himself for as long as he could but Jon wanted everyone to know and Damian just couldn’t say no to those big blue puppy dog eyes so he gave in and told his family.

Of course, the last thing he expected was for Grayson to tell Todd, who told Brown, who told Thomas, who tried to keep it a secret but Drake figured it out himself and told Damian that he was going to need a lot of luck.

Now he understood why he said that.

His worst fear was that he might have to share Jon’s attention with everyone, he never thought that his brothers would do everything they can to keep him from enjoying his time with Jon.

“I guess it could be-”

“Don’t say it,”

“Say what?”

“Don’t say it could be worse because every time you say that something worse happens,”

Jon puffed his cheeks in anger and Damian did not think that was adorable…okay he did but he was not going to say that out loud.

“That’s not true,”

“Our trip to the zoo?”

“Oh, right that was…I mean it wasn’t…okay so it could’ve…”

The look on Damian’s face told Jon that he was right and nothing Jon could say would prove him wrong.

“Shut up,” he said while grabbing a fry and throwing it at Damian, Damian just laughed as he looked around the food court and saw that the close was clear, he then reached for Jon’s hand however, before he could another hand landed on the table making a loud banging noise, poor Jon nearly wet himself at the loud sound that appeared out of nowhere.

“Hey you guys! Tim, Duke, Jay, and I brought you guys some food,”

If Damian had heat vision he would use it to burn Grayson’s smug look off his face right about now.

Meanwhile, Jon was hoping against hope that he didn’t look like he was seconds away from soiling himself.

“I thought I told you Grayson that Jon and I would be getting our own food,”

“True…but since me and your brothers are already here why not get you guys some food,” he said with a huge smile.

Damian wanted to slap that smile off his face.

The rest of the batboys came with Duke giving him an apoligic look, Tim giving him a smug look, and Jason glaring down at the baby supe.

“Ummm…that’s so nice of you Dick,”

“Of course it is, I mean my baby brother is on a date and I really want to make sure you guys have a good time,” he said with a sweet smile, a little to sweet for Damian’s liking.

When Jason placed the food down he also gave Jon a sweet smile.

“I took the liberty of ordering for you hope you don’t mind,”

“N-not at all,” Jon was about to grab his plate before Damian grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“Don’t eat that,” was all he said before he gave him his own plate.

“We can share from mine,”

Jon just smiled and didn’t want to admit that he was scared to eat the food Jason got him, mainly because he could smell the spicy condiments coming off of the plate.

Dick and Jason glared at the baby supe while said supe was doing everything not to pay attention to their glares even though it was easier said then done.

Duke and Tim looked at each other before they slapped the back of their brother’s heads.

“Why don’t the two of you go to the arcade while Tim, Jason, Dick, and I finish eating,” Thomas said smiling at the two boys.

He had to admit, Damian and Jon were the cutest thing and while he can somewhat understand Dick’s need to be overprotective with Damian the older boy needed to let go and let him be on his own.

Damian smiled and grabbed Jon’s hand.

“Thomas, you are officially my favorite,” he then pulled Jon away from the mess that was his brothers and headed for the arcade.

“What the fuck Duke?!” Could be heard from the other side of the restaurant and Damian and Jon couldn’t help but laugh.

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

He thought of all people Drake would be the most understanding, the one who would let them be and not bother them but he was wrong, he was so wrong.

He turned his gaze to Jon who also looked annoyed and was holding himself back from burning off his brother’s face.

Connor and Tim overheard Jon telling Damian that they should spend some time at the park. Damian agreed and couldn’t wait to spend a nice day out with Jon.

The it was a nice day, the weather wasn’t to hot or cold, not to mention that Alfred prepared them a nice home cook meal, informing the boys that he hopes they have fun.

The plan was simple, eat some food play on the swings-Damian would never admit it to his brothers but he loved the swings they were really fun-and flying kites together. Overall, it was supposed to be a relaxing day…until Drake and the Clone showed up ate their food and asked them what they were doing at the park.

Jon had to bite his tongue to not say anything rude but he was close to snapping and if it weren’t for the fact that he was a little intimated by his big brother he probably would have gone off on him.

“So, where you two planning on flying kites?” Tim asked gesturing to the kites on the floor.

“What do you think?” surprisingly it wasn’t Damian that answered but Jon.

Kon and Tim looked shock for a moment before laughing it off, clearly Damian was rubbing off on Jon.

“Okay right silly question, so what else where you two planning on doing here?”

“Nothing,” the two said simultaneously both wearing matching glares. Tim just shrugged it off and kept eating when neither Tim nor Kon were looking Jon used his ice breath to freeze both their drinks, both of the older boys were shock to see their tongues stuck inside their drinks, Damian was shocked and laughed as he realized that his boyfriend just played a cruel trick on them.

“Wanna go back to my place and play some video games?” Jon asked.

“Sounds like a plan,” 

Jon smirked as he took Damian in his arms princess style and flew off, ignoring the muffle screams from his brother and Tim.

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

It’s been two years since young Masters Wayne and Kent started dating and it still surprised Alfred how overprotective his siblings were of him.

With Jon being 16 and Damian being 19 you would think that his other grandchildren would stop harassing them and leave them be, Jon has proven time and time again that he wasn’t going to leave Damian and Damian continued to show everyone how important Jon was to Damian.

And yet his other grandchildren-minus Duke and Cass, and everyone wonder why those two were his favorites-and Bruce decided to always interrupt Master Kent and Master Wayne’s dates and it was beginning to take a toll of both boys. Not that he blamed them, two years of having older sibling interrupt your date can get to you. It was a miricale  that Damian hasn’t killed any of them.

 Tonight was Jon’s 17th birthday and Damian decided to throw a huge party at Wayne Manor, of course this meant that all the batboys and girls were gonna keep a close eye on Damian and make sure that Jon behaved himself, surprisingly Damian invited every superhero but none of Jon’s or his friends which was weird in their eyes.

“Okay guys it’s almost time for the birthday boy to get here,” Lois said, if Dick didn’t know any better he would’ve assumed that Lois had a mischievous look on her face but dismissed that idea. Lois was an amazing woman who would never do anything to harm anyone right?

An hour into the party and Jon nor Damian were nowhere to be found, even Clark looked surprised before he and Bruce approached Lois, Dick and the rest of his siblings followed close behind them.

“Hey Lois?” Lois turned away from her conversation with Diana to look at her husband, his best friend, and said best friend’s adoptive children.

“Yes?” Lois asked with sickly sweet smile.

“Where are Jon and Damian? I thought you said that Jon would be here soon, so where is he?”

“And Damian?” this time it was Dick Bruce looked at his eldest with a disappointed look for interrupting him.

Lois looked at them before shrugging her shoulders.

“I don’t know, I mean Damian just texted me saying he was on his way but I guess they might have made a stop somewhere in Smallville?”

The two families looked at each other before flying off to Smallville, there was no way their baby was going to lose his virginity to some asshole

(Both families failed to see that they were having similar thoughts)

Meanwhile Lois smirk as she send Talia a quick text

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

Talia watched as Damian, Jon, Maya, Kathy, and the rest of the tiny heroes danced around having a good time, she felt her phone buzzing in her pocket.

Pulling it out she saw she recieved a message from Lois who let her know that their families are on a wild goose chase and won’t be back home until morning.

Talia laughed as her son’s plan to keep Bruce and Clark occupided worked. 

She looked up to see Damian and Jon kissing one another while everyone else was having fun and not paying attention to the couple since they knew their friends needed some peace.

Talia made a mental note to give Jon his present later, after all a private island where no one, not even Tim Drake himself would find would be the best thing he’ll ever get since he can use it to spend some time with Damian with no interruptions.

[bluboothalassophile]

bluuu! hello =) i know this may not sound friendly but, i'm on a rush and this is like the last minute haha so, sorry! but i'd like to know if it would possible if you could write a fic for jason's b-day, since is he's b-day (08/16), a fic w/ family & friends & girlfriend celebrating his special day w/ him. sorry for asking too much, have a nice day blu! and thank you

Hello,

It’s fine, I had already planned a story for today, but I got your request and adjusted plans accordingly. I hope you enjoy the story! =)

HappyBirthday Jason!

Jason stood in quiet morning rain as he stared at themarker.

He never came here, well, that wasn’t true, he didn’t comehere often. Crouching down he put the flowers on the grave.

“Hey mom, it’s been a while, I know I don’t visit often,but, I’ll try to do better. So, it’s August sixteenth, I just… Shelia mighthave been the bitch who gave me life, but you’re my mom, and I love you, I missyou, I miss you a lot,” Jason smiled. “Um… A lot has happened, I’m twenty-seven,um… I’m in a steady relationship, I’m… I’m thinking I’m going to marry her mom,I think you’d like her. She’s bookish, cannot cook to save our lives, if the apocalypsecomes and demands a cook off with her, we’re fucked; like royally fucked, mom,the witch burns water.

“Um, what else, she’s a demon, a real demon, four red eyes,grey skin and everything. I don’t know, I love her, and I’m fucked before I’meven thirty,” he groaned as his head fell back. “Mom, I’m screwed. At least Ithink you’d like her. Raven and you might have get along. Anyways, I have to go,somehow I’ve been suckered into this family shit; again.

“I’ll come around again, promise, I’ll try to come aroundmore often too, love you,” he muttered the last part as he left the flowers onher graven and got up to go. It wasn’t his idea on how he was going to spendhis birthday, he hadn’t exactly been celebrating them. Raven didn’t likebirthdays, and he hadn’t exactly ever been a birthday sort of guy.

This year was different though, Dick and Tim had decidedthat he needed a birthday party; this was after they’d gotten Raven onboardwith the idea and what Raven offered as bribery was not exactly something hecould… fight? Dissuade? Ignore? Fuck, fine, it was his fucking Kryptonite, he neededto get better at resisting her and her charms. They’d only been together for forever,he really should be better at ignoring her.

However, Raven was his damn Kryptonite, her and thosefucking legs.

Damn her legs. Why did it have to be the legs!? He was a legguy, he knew it would get him into trouble, and Raven was a woman with hell ofa set of legs, he was fucked. Royally fucked, Raven just had to have legs likea fucking goddess.

Pulling up to the mansion Jason got off the bike and lookedat the Wayne Manor. Grumbling internally he jogged up the steps, and opened thedoor to see his family with ready, and banner all set up, and pulled up high atthe entrance.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” there was an explosion of confetti whichhad his eye twitching as he looked over his family. Dick flew off the chandelierat him, crashing hard into him.

“Ow.”

“Dick, stop strangling my boyfriend,” Raven’s monotonereached him and Jason could honestly say he’d never been so happy to hear hervoice as he slipped from Dick’s grasp as he slung his arm around Raven’s waist.

“Strangling the birthday boy would be counterproductive tohaving a birthday for Jaybird!” Roy pointed out.

“There’s no point in celebrating it,” Jason shrugged.

“We’re happy you’re here Jason,” Tim announced.

“Very pleased Master Jason,” Alfred said in thatmater-of-fact tone of his. Jason didn’t think Bruce or anyone really had evergiven a shit about his birthday.

“Come on,” Kori appeared, flying as she grabbed his wristand Jason managed a startled yelp as he was dragged into the air. He wasdragged past Artemis, and Bizarro as Bruce watched him go.

“Stupid Todd,” he heard Damian mutter and just as he wasdragged around the corner he saw Raven smack Damian on the back of the head.

“Kori, what are we!”

“Come on!” she shouted with excitement as he found himselftossed into a chair, he landed with ease which had him twitching a bit.

“What’s going on?” he asked her.

“I have been informed that we have neglected a veryimportant earth custom with you, friend Jason. We do not celebrate friend Raven’sbirthday, she will not permit it, and I had not thought to inquire about yourown day of birth. I am most pleased though to know that it was today! And becauseI have missed many date of births, I will commence the gift giving!” Koriannounced.

“Wait, Kori, you don’t have to!” He started when there was abox bigger than he was shoved at him.

“Do this.”

“I must, on Tamaran it is a horribly oversite not to markfriendship with gifts, and I am most pleased that this was the date of yourbirth, you are my friend!” Kori announced.

“Just go with it Jason,” Raven said walking in from hershadows.

“And it’s little wing’s birthday, we haven’t celebrated itin a while,” Dick skipped in.

“Red Him said no b-day,” Bizarro pouted and Jason groaned ashe knew he was now stuck here to endure the birthday sit that was coming. Lookingup he smiled sheepishly at his family, seeing that he wasn’t going to win theescape plan.

Best to endure it.

It was a few hours later, when everyone was laughing andsitting in the kitchen with cake that he stood out on the balcony looking in witha beer. He had his brothers, his sisters (because he’d come to see Steph andBabs as sisters over the years), his best friends, and girlfriend all therejust enjoying the food and Alfred was beaming with them.

He sipped a beer when Bruce appeared with him.

“Happy birthday Jason,” Bruce said.

“Is it?” Jason asked. “Every person involved with me on thisday was ruined, Willis, Catherine, and Shelia, you, Dick, even Raven’s going tofigure it out one day, I’m poison.”

“Jason,” Bruce suddenly grabbed him, Jason was startled whenhis guardian’s arms were around him. He blinked twice as he just stood there. Theirlast hug had been a few years ago when Fear Toxin had had him clinging to Brucefor a security he wouldn’t have had.

“You’re not poison, and we’re all so please you’re here,”Bruce said.

“And you’re saying this why?” Jason demanded as he triedsquirmed a bit out of Bruce’s grasp. The last time Bruce had said somethinglike this he had ended up in Ethiopia.

“Because it was pointed out that it was overdue, and thisday, is one of the day’s I’m most thankful for,” Bruce said as he pulled away.

“You’re alive Jason, you’re here, and today is the day youwere born, it’s precious for that,” Bruce said.

“You…” Jason started.

“I mean every word of it. Happy Birthday Jason

[reddhoodie]

♒️ For the Batfamily (not just the BatBoys!)

*cracks knuckles* OKAY HERE GOES (totally didn’t forget this was in my inbox nope)

Cooking/Foodheadcanons

Bruce:

There are a heckof a lot of things Bruce Wayne knows how to do very well.Unfortunately, cooking is not one of those things.

He can manage,no one will go hungry when he’s in charge, but you’re also not goingto get something fancy, and you’ll have quite a mess to clean upafterwards. Seriously, whether he’s making cereal, toast, or a fullmeal, Bruce somehow manages to make a mess. Milk dribbled on thecounter, toast crumbs everywhere(including in the butter, which drives Tim and Jason both insane),and if it involves heat, expect at least one burned first attempt.

Thereare some exceptions, however. For example, he’s the only one in thefamily capable of assembling the perfect ice cream sundae. Perfectice cream to topping ratio, set up like a photoshoot in nice big mugsinstead of bowls, plus he always remembers what toppings everyonewants. He’s in charge of ice cream nights at the manor.

Barbara:

Babsis somewhere in the middle. She can cook just fine but it’s notnecessarily her favorite thing to do. If given the option she’ll goout to eat, or heat up something simple.

Sheis however a total pro at microwave-cooking those little cakes inmugs. She knows so manyrecipes and will make them for herself when she’s working onsomething late at night. It makes her whole apartment smell amazingand helps her relax.

Sherefuses to teach Dick how to do it, no matter how often he asks. (Hecould just googleit…)

Dick:

Despitehis reputation regarding cereal, Dick is actually a fairly decentcook. He learned some things from his mom when he was little, fromhelping Alfred when he lived in the manor, and through trial anderror when he moved out on his own.

Hedoesn’t use measuring cups or spoons when he cooks since his mothernever did, and Alfred hardly ever did either. This method isn’talways as successful as he would hope but hey at least now he knowsthat was definitely too much salt. (Side note: learning to cook fromDick is a bad idea, not because he’s bad but because his instructionstypically amount to ‘here are the ingredients, add salt if you wantit, cook it until it’s done’.)

Heknows a couple of Romani recipes, and he’ll make them for himselfwhen he’s feeling a little down since it’s excellent comfort food.

Overallhe tends to stick to making meals and snacks that are fast and easyto grab or throw together after work or patrol.

Jason:

Jaybirdis probably the best cook in the family besides Alfred, and he isn’tafraid to mention it. Cooking is something that’s very relaxing,maybe even strangely theraputic for him. He does a lot of it whenhe’s stressed, and usually ends up making too much for him and hiss/o to finish, so the other members of the family will findcontainers stuffed with his latest stress-meal left on their kitchentable, or their front steps, or their refrigerator. Most of the timethat meal is fried or sauteed rice mixed with whatever vegetables (oranything else) he happened to have on hand at the time. It doesn’tmatter what he uses, it’s always amazing and there’s always a lotof it.

Generallyhe leans towards Latin food, although he doesn’t stick to what mightbe considered ‘traditional’ ingredients. A good rule of thumb withhis food is to taste it before you ask what’s in it. He can makeanything taste good and he will usually use odd ingredients before hegives in and goes to the store. (Yes that probably ispart of a cookie in that tamal, don’t question it.)

Tim:

LikeBruce, Tim is good at a lot of things and he’s incredibly smart, butyou probably don’t want him in your kitchen. He certainly doesn’twant to be there.

Leftto his own devices little Timmers will subsist on snack food andtakeout. What do you mean mini donuts aren’t a real breakfast?There’s milk and eggs in there somewhere isn’t there? Leave himalone.

Stephanie:StephLOVES to bake. When she’s in a really good mood, a really bad mood,is stressed, sad, lonely, or just bored, she can throw togetherliteral mountains of cookies or cupcakes just for the heck of it. Andyou can’t have naked cupcakes, so she has to frost and decorate allof them.

Inplace of the cupcake apocalypse, sometimes she puts sprinkles on foodthat doesn’t usually have sprinkles, just for fun, and because theyalways cheer her up.

Cassandra:

Casslikes to watch and/or help other people cook. She’ll sit on thecounter and hand them things while they work, quietly observingeverything that they do, providing some company without beingoverbearing. It’s oddly soothing for the other person in most cases.

Plus,being right there means she gets the first taste of most things,and/or gets to lick the spoon.

Damian:

Ashe gets a little older, Dami starts to take more of an interest inthings like cooking. He eventually learns that he actually enjoys it,especially when he gets to arrange the finished meal nicely on aserving platter.

Hemakes vegetarian versions of Arab dishes, and insists on only callingit by its traditional name. Unfortunately some have a little troublewith words like sfiha, kleicha, qatayef, and murtabak. (No it is not'meat pizza’ Drake, if you cannot learn to pronounce it you cannoteat it!)

Hewon’t admit it, but he actually gets nervous when he makes somethingnew. For all his pride and grumbling about 'saying the name right’,he just really wants his family to enjoy it.