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bouwrites · 2 years ago

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And Your Bird Can Sing: Chapter 7

End of Summer

First, Previous, Next.

Ao3.

Story under read-more.

Derek is a man on a mission.

Summer is nearing its end, and he doesn’t know how often he’ll be able to visit Sunset Bird once school starts again. It sucks that he goes to a different school, but with his sports as well, he just won’t have the time to visit very often.

That means he has to get everything prepared before he runs out of opportunities. Namely, two things in particular. The first is that he has to get Ryer his harmonica. The longer Derek puts that off, the more nervous he gets.

He can’t really convincingly call it a gift from a friend anymore. It is that, of course, but all the work and money that goes into it, in light of the kiss (which they definitely don’t mention to anyone else, even if Jamie pesters Derek for being suspicious, and which they don’t talk about since it happens), make it feel like a much bigger thing than it is.

And Derek is terrified that Ryer will take it the wrong way – or, the right way? – and get confused or feel pressured or… Derek honestly doesn’t know how he’ll take it. That’s what’s so paralyzing.

But Derek has to give it to him. First and foremost because Ryer shouldn’t be long without an instrument, but also just because it’s a waste not to. A waste of money and a waste of Mathias and Connor’s kindness and effort. The latter part is what’s more important. Derek does promise to let them know how Ryer takes the gift, so he can’t very well renege on that no matter how nervous he is.

And the second thing he wants to do… that eclipses the nerves of giving Ryer the harmonica entirely.

Derek spends a long, long time just thinking about what happens on that beach. He pays attention – the parents, his and Jamie’s and Cove’s all, call each other even more frequently and talk with serious expressions in hushed tones, away from the kids. Derek is pretty sure they’re trying to do something about Ryer’s parents. And that… as much as Derek wants to be a part of that fight, the fact is that as a kid himself, he has little to no power there.

He's better off working directly with Ryer, making his life better where he can. The most obvious thing to do first is give him the harmonica, and he’ll do that, but… Derek spends a lot of time thinking.

About what Ryer admits on the beach, about the kiss, about everything.

And Derek understands where Ryer is coming from. He doesn’t have anything figured out, yet. He doesn’t know how he feels or where he’s going, and it’s scary and this is a big thing that can’t be so lightly approached.

Derek… honestly doesn’t feel ready for something like that himself, anyway. He wants to be better, get to where he’s going so he can have more time to give, especially since school is starting soon. It’s unfair to pursue something only to not be able to follow through, and Derek doesn’t like doing things by halves.

So, when he thinks really hard about it all, he comes up with an idea. One that will address the elephant in the room, but also gives them both the space they need to figure everything out.

He thinks it’s a good plan. He thinks it makes sense. Or maybe he’s just being hopeful. Either way, he goes over it in his head again and again, but he can’t quite manage to work up the courage to face Ryer for real.

Until today. Derek is fast running out of time, so he’s got to just do it. He will do it today, one way or another. He’s determined in that.

So, when he prepares to leave with his dad for Sunset Bird, Derek makes double-sure that he pockets the box with the harmonica. No forgetting, no excuses, no nothing but getting things done.

The whole car ride over he’s filled with nervous energy. His gut flips and his chest aches. The box in his pocket is heavier than it’s ever been.

It’s exciting, but stressful. Everything is filled with taut static, rippling like the sea waves. Derek can’t sit still in the car, shifting his weight and bouncing his knee, always hyperaware of the box resting against his leg.

His dad chuckles lightly. He doesn’t know everything Derek has planned, but it’s obvious enough that Derek is worrying about the harmonica.

But Derek stares out the window, trying to see the familiar sign welcoming them to Sunset Bird even though he knows it’ll be a few more minutes until they get that far. He fixes his gaze ahead as if looking away will lead the car down another path entirely, bypassing Sunset Bird and his friends there.

His dad drives true and soon enough, that sign comes into view. From there it’s barely any time at all before they’re right in front of the Last household.

Derek stumbles out of the car in a rush, to his dad’s amusement, and it’s only that moment that Derek takes a deep breath to steady himself.

A lot is happening, or is going to happen, so Derek can’t go into this like a fool. He has a plan. He has everything prepared. One conversation is not that big of a deal.

Yeah. It’s fine. Everything is great. He can do this. He will do this.

Jamie’s mom answers the door, face alight with mirth and brightening even more when she sees her new guests. “Welcome!” she says. “Come on in! Everyone else is already here!”

To Derek’s knowledge, there’s no gathering planned. He asks to come visit, and Jamie tells him Ryer should be around today, but there’s no event that everyone is gathering for. It’s just an ordinary day halfway through the last week of summer.

But this is Sunset Bird, so it’s not surprising, either, that everyone manages to gather together anyway. Especially since it’s the Lasts and the Holdens. That Ryer is actually here inside is a little more unexpected, but Jamie knows Derek is planning on giving him the harmonica today so that’s probably orchestrated especially by him.

Derek enters the familiar living room. There’s a distinct lightness in the air, and almost palpable humor that dispels any lingering nerves Derek still has. Everyone is laughing and smiling at Mr. Holden, being guided through some chord progression on his guitar by Ryer.

Derek stops short when his eyes fall on Ryer. For a moment, his breath doesn’t come to him, mostly out of shock, but then he exhales, “Wow.”

Ryer isn’t wearing his usual clothes. Helplessly, when Derek glances around, it becomes apparent that none of the kids are. Jamie is in something that might be Elizabeth’s, a much more feminine style for him that he pulls off with pure confidence if not his boyish looks.

Cove is taken in a different direction. He’s a beach bum and his style reflects that, but today he ditches the normal shirts and dons a colorfully printed button-up. Short sleeves, of course, because it’s still Cove.

Derek doesn’t notice at first because it’s still him. Jamie and Cove’s styles are different, but not radically so. Without paying attention, they’re easy to dismiss because it’s all stuff they would wear, even if they don’t normally.

Ryer, though… Ryer makes Derek know exactly who is responsible for this. Sparing the pressed linen button-up and slacks, and even his usual shoes, Ryer is completely different from head to toe.

Today, Ryer wears a distressed black t-shirt, with Archetype’s logo on it. Little hints of skin peek through the intentional rips in the shirt. The light flannel, new and soft, hangs loosely from his shoulders. The sleeves cover his arms like he’s used to but leaving it open to reveal the band merch changes his look drastically.

Add some casual blue jeans and red canvas sneakers, and it’s the grungy, rock and roll look that Jamie talks about before. And Derek is right back then. Jamie is evil.

Ryer looks so… cool. He always looks cool, but it’s like now his outer appearance matches the vibes he always gives.

He looks like he’d be right at home in that music store where Mathias works. And he looks good.

It’s funny, because his normal clothes are much dressier, much more in line with “good” looks than this, but in a lot of ways, seeing him like this is just like seeing his pass his hand through his hair for the first time.

The stiffness slackens, the still façade is teased away, and what’s underneath rises just a little closer to the surface. That little bit of hair that dangles down past the side of his face sways, and it’s casual in a way that’s comfortable. It’s Ryer, exploring something Derek knows Ryer’s parents will hate. It’s Ryer being brave, again, and showing more of himself.

And Derek loves seeing more of Ryer. Always.

He wants to see Ryer like this more often. Open. Himself. Probably in a way Ryer himself doesn’t even acknowledge, yet, considering. Heck, even just exploring things that don’t work out – that’s still great.

But by next week…

Derek’s line of sight is suddenly blocked. Elizabeth of all people stands there, arms crossed, frowning slightly, contemplatively – not in her usual vague distaste.

Derek’s eyes lift to hers, and he stops short for a moment. Because it’s not every day he sees this look on her. Well, it’s not every day he spends time with Elizabeth at all, but when she is around, she’s just as likely to be a pain in the butt as she is to adopt this kind of face.

The same face Derek has when he’s trying to figure out how best to talk to his brothers. The same face, the same look, that passes between them back on the boardwalk when she agrees to look after Jorge because Derek is stuck with Nicolas asleep.

Except this time, the look isn’t in solidarity with him, but directed at him.

It’s easy, sometimes, to forget that Elizabeth is an older sibling, too. Derek can’t shut off that part of him when he’s with Cove and Jamie, less so with Ryer only because Ryer actually is older than him rather than the same age, and usually acts it, too, so it probably shouldn’t be surprising that she feels something of the sort with him as well.

After all, despite them both being older siblings, she’s even older than Ryer. Even if she doesn’t like it, she feels some responsibility for all the kids in Sunset Bird, being the oldest of them.

Derek knows how that feels.

“Hey,” she says.

“Hi?” Derek responds, unsure.

Elizabeth eyes him just a moment longer before calling back over her shoulder. “I’ll get Derek changed.”

Changed? Derek meets Jamie’s confused eyes for a moment, but then Jamie grins and gives him a thumbs up.

Well, if Cove, Jamie, and Ryer all have new clothes, and Derek knows it’s Jamie’s idea, and they know Derek is coming today… Jamie probably prepares something for him, too.

“I’m taking him to your room,” Elizabeth says, already walking away.

“Yeah!” says Jamie eagerly. “I can’t wait for the reveal!”

Okay, some of this is making sense. But the Elizabeth part absolutely doesn’t. Not having any idea what’s going through her head, Derek nervously trails behind her, down to Jamie’s room.

Elizabeth lets him inside, then closes the door behind her and crosses her arms there just in front of it, blocking all escape.

Derek’s heart beats faster. He wonders if he’s done something wrong recently to make her angry with him.

But Elizabeth’s face isn’t angry. She purses her lips with that contemplative, big-sister look on her face, and takes her time thinking of how to approach what she’s going to say.

“I don’t know any of the details,” she says eventually, “but our parents are planning something to help Ryer. I’ve overheard enough that I… think I have an idea of what’s going on with him.”

“Oh.” Derek’s breath comes shallowly, unwilling to linger in his lungs.

“You’re worried that when school starts, you won’t be around to keep an eye on him, right?” she asks bluntly. Derek doesn’t answer, but his face reveals everything anyway. “Well, you don’t need to worry,” Elizabeth says, tossing her hair importantly. “I’ll look out for him.”

Derek’s head snaps up just as quickly as his jaw drops. “Y-you’re serious?”

Elizabeth smirks slyly. “Believe it or not, I know how you feel. Well, mostly.” Her smirk betrays just how much she knows. Derek doesn’t know why he’s surprised, when she calls him out so quickly on his crush on Jamie, too. But her teasing smirk drops quickly into something more serious. “I don’t have to spell it out for you, do I?”

No, she doesn’t. Derek already knows. He shakes his head. A heavy weight in his chest lifts. It’s not gone entirely, of course it can’t be, but it’s like he carries it underwater. It doesn’t pull quite so hard.

Because Elizabeth is a big sister, and despite her attitude, she always looks out for Jamie when it comes down to it. And because Derek is a big brother, he knows that responsibility and he knows that, though he and Elizabeth may approach it in different ways, they both take it just as seriously.

So he says, sincerely, “Thank you, Elizabeth.”

Her lips curl into a proud smile. “Anyway,” she says, waving a hand as if to dismiss that entire conversation, “that’s all I had to say. Jamie has a gift for you. I saw you admiring his work with Ryer, so you’ll be very glad to know that he found something for all you kids.”

She breezes over to Jamie’s bed, picks up a box, and lumps it at him. Derek catches it easily.

“I’ll leave so you can change.”

And just like that, she’s out the door, not caring to look back or see how Derek takes the gift.

Oh, Elizabeth… “Really,” Derek whispers, her lingering promise stark in his mind. “Thanks.” Knowing Elizabeth will be keeping an eye on Ryer and his situation… it really does put Derek at ease.

He shakes his head sharply. There’s no time for that. He needs to change into whatever Jamie has for him and get out there to enjoy his time with everyone. And figure out a moment to give Ryer the harmonica and ask his question.

Derek opens the box excitedly, eager to see Jamie’s gift. His already wide grin stretches even further when he picks up the comfortable, light, sleeveless hoodie-shirt. Green, like Derek’s eyes. A little loose, like most of his other clothes, but not as oversized on him as his jersey.

He wastes no time swapping his shirts. (He carefully folds up his jersey and sets it aside.) Derek isn’t used to hooded shirts, but he can already see himself falling in love with the kangaroo pocket, and when he looks at himself in Jamie’s mirror, he has to admit that he does look good.

Not that he’s surprised. Jamie’s good with this sort of thing. Though, this is the first time Jamie actually gives him something rather than just comment on his closet or make recommendations.

It brings heat to his face, knowing Jamie chooses this specifically for him. In a matter of moments, Derek knows he’s found his new favorite shirt.

He marches back out into the living room with his head held high. Jamie whistles eagerly, complimenting his look and welcoming him in. Derek can only bashfully brush it all off as he takes his place among the families.

Aside from that, though, no big deal is made about the clothes. Derek finds out from Jamie that they’re all things he gets as gifts to celebrate the end of summer, and most of which he modifies in some way himself, but it’s not a big production so Derek doesn’t linger on it, either.

(Although… he should get Jamie and Cove something to celebrate the end of summer, too. The harmonica probably counts for Ryer. Derek would get something else for him as well, since that’s not what the harmonica is supposed to be, but Derek’s wallet will thank him for not doing that. He is still thirteen. He’s not a little kid anymore, but it’s not like he has a job, either.)

Derek’s dad already has the other parents laughing together. Mr. Holden is still paying rapt attention to Ryer, trying to hit the right chords on his guitar, and Ryer is fully engaged, not noticing the look that passes between Derek and Elizabeth when they see it.

He’ll be fine. While he has these adults who do care about him, he’ll be fine. Elizabeth’s eyes say something like “I told you so” and Derek can’t even protest.

It’s not unexpected or anything, but it still makes him happy. Mr. Holden is more attentive even than Derek expects, as if Ryer is his own son.

But that’s hardly surprising either, is it?

“You brought it, right?” Jamie whispers. Cove eyes them both curiously, then his eyes widen with recognition.

Derek grins, slyly patting the box in his pocket. “Of course, I did. Got it right here.”

Jamie’s wicked grin makes Derek’s chest flutter. It’s hard to tell at this point whether it’s from affection or anxiety. “Excellent,” Jamie says. “It’s about time.”

Derek’s cheeks pink. “I know, I just-”

Jamie laughs heartily, slaps Derek on the back so he doesn’t need to say any more. Jamie knows already. He knows what the delay is about. He doesn’t know about the kiss, or Derek’s other plan today, but he knows well enough why this much is bigger than it seems.

And so does Cove. Cove smiles at him, shakes his head, punches his arm lightly and says, “You got this.”

Yeah, he does. Derek smiles back. “Yeah. Don’t worry. I’ll definitely do it today.”

That doesn’t mean it’s easy. And that’s not just because it’s kind of terrifying to just face Ryer and bring it up. With all the families together, there’s just not many opportunities to catch Ryer alone. He’s usually with Mr. Holden, or Jamie’s ma, or Jamie and Cove are both there.

And Derek can, in theory, do it when the other two boys are there. They do already know about the harmonica. But it’s more than that and Derek can’t do the second thing in front of them, so he ends up just not doing anything at all.

But it’s still a fun day. Derek’s dad even sticks around for a while, talking with the other parents. It’s only after he leaves, and Mr. Holden has to go into work as well, and Elizabeth sends them all a look and retreats to her room with the Lasts’ phone that Jamie finally throws out the idea of the four boys going outside for the rest of the day.

All Derek’s buffers, his excuses for not plucking up the courage and just doing it right away, are dropping like flies. There’s nothing wrong with that, but Derek knows that it won’t be long after they leave that Jamie and Cove come up with some excuse to give Derek and Ryer privacy and Derek won’t be able to avoid it any longer.

The vague stirring in his gut is much worse than the agitated static in his chest, but despite all that, he’s excited as much as he is apprehensive.

Jamie leads them down to the beach, grabbing Cove’s arm to drag him as usual. Ryer eyes Derek, waiting patiently, as usual. It always takes just a little longer for Derek to follow the other two when Ryer is there, because he always stops for a moment, just to see if Ryer is actually waiting for him or if Ryer is just a little slower.

He’s always waiting, watching Derek without expectation, as if he’s fully prepared to just take off in the complete opposite direction, or stay right where they are, if that’s the way Derek chooses to go.

Derek beams. He tilts his head conspiratorially, sharing that smile together, then the two of them at once jog to catch up to their friends.

They go all the way to the beach, until they’ve already take off their shoes and the sand is between their toes, when Jamie suddenly announces, “We should have s’mores again.”

That’s his plan? Derek frowns. “We’d have to start a fire,” he says.

“What moms don’t know won’t hurt them.”

Derek balks. “Jamie! It’s dangerous. An adult needs to start it if we’re going to have a fire.”

“I’ll start it,” Ryer says nonchalantly.

“Wha-? Seriously?” asks Cove.

Ryer shrugs. The edges of his lips curl up by just the smallest fraction. “Who’s going to forbid me? So long as I’m the one starting and smothering it, it should be fine.”

“Do you know how?” Derek asks.

Ryer snorts. “Yeah. I was a boy scout; I’ve done it before.”

“Good enough for me!” Jamie cheers. “Cove, you think your mom is still at my house?”

Cove thinks for a moment. “Probably? She also wouldn’t care if we went in and grabbed some snacks, so long as we don’t make it obvious it’s something we’re going to put on a fire.”

“Then we’ll leave the fire to you,” Jamie says, grinning at Ryer and Derek, “and we’ll go grab snacks!”

They don’t have time to protest. By the time they even realize what’s happening, Jamie has already grabbed Cove and darted off back toward the neighborhood.

Seriously, this is his plan?

Well… well, Derek will just have to make the most of it! He huffs a little, breathing out his discontent and worries. “Alright,” he says. “I remember how to set up the pit. I’ll start digging, and you look for driftwood?”

“Works for me,” says Ryer.

Considering the first time, even under Mrs. Last’s guidance back then, there’s no way Derek and Ryer should finish before Jamie and Cove get back with the snacks. That’s the primary reason Derek is nervous about this plan. It doesn’t seem like it’ll work very well.

And yet… Derek digs his little pit, flattens out the bottom and ensures it’s damp there, and Ryer comes back with enough driftwood to make a small fire, plus some dry grass for kindling. And maybe it’s because their fire by necessity has to be so much smaller than the first time (they don’t have proper firewood or coals to make it with, after all) but they have everything set up and find themselves waiting alone for Jamie and Cove to get back.

Ryer makes the executive decision not to start the fire yet. Partly it’s because they don’t have a lot to burn, so it won’t last long, so he doesn’t want the wood to burn out before the other boys get here with the food, but also partly because it’ll just be easier to start if one of the others thinks to bring a match.

“What’s taking them so long?” Ryer asks, frowning in the direction of the neighborhood.

As they keep sitting there alone, Derek gets a feeling in his gut. This is Jamie’s plan. Jamie knows his job is faster, too, so he’s either delaying and going to come back with some excuse, or he’s abandoning them entirely.

Oh, boy.

Derek closes his eyes. If this is what’s happening… then Derek will just do it now. He’s not going to let the chance Jamie gives him go to waste, so he’s got to go for it.

“Don’t know,” Derek answers. His hand drifts into his pocket, to finger the hard box within. “Um…”

Ryer’s eyes turn to Derek, sensing his discomfort, silently asking what’s up.

One more breath. “I’m… sorry it took so long,” Derek says, carefully withdrawing the box from his pocket. “But, I got something for you. Actually, it was sort of all of our idea.”

Ryer’s head tilts cutely. His lips twitch down with his eyes, falling to the box Derek holds out towards him. “For me?” Ryer asks, hesitantly reaching out to accept the gift. “Why?”

Derek just grins. “You’ll see. Open it.”

Still unsure, Ryer does.

His eyes blow wide. “Oh my god…” he whispers. “You didn’t…”

“When you told us your harmonica broke,” Derek explains quickly, “all three of us pretty much decided on the spot to get you a new one. You know that music store near the park by my place? I got it there.”

Ryer swallows thickly. “Derek, this is…” He touches the top plate of the harmonica like it’s something precious, fragile. “This is custom!” he exclaims. “Wha- why would you- that must’ve been expensive! I can’t-”

“I can’t unspend the money,” Derek teases. “And it wasn’t that much, anyway. My dad covered half of it, and Connor, the guy that made the plates themselves, did way more than he actually charged us for. He said it’s a… Sunset Bird welcome, or something like that.”

“But- that-”

“Do you know the band on that shirt?” Derek says, trying to distract from the cost of the gift. “Archetype?”

Ryer blinks, confused by the change in topic, then looks down at his own shirt. “Uh, no. Jamie just gave this to me and told me to wear it.”

“The guys who helped me with that, Archetype is their band. Mathias got all the inner plates, and Connor made the custom ones. But they both let me help make it! I put it all together, and Connor even let me do some of the sanding and, look! I’m the one that wrote your initials!”

Ryer takes another look at the harmonica, taking in the truth of that statement, and pinks adorably. “Oh.”

Derek rubs at his neck. “Yeah, well… we, I… we didn’t like the idea of letting you keep going without an instrument. You loved that old harmonica, and it just wasn’t the same when you couldn’t play music. And when I went to get one… I might have gotten a little carried away, but I’m really proud of it! Especially since I helped make it, too!”

Ryer’s cheeks darken further. Carefully, he extracts the harmonica from the box, cradles it in his hands like a baby bird. “You helped make it?”

“Yeah, Mathias and Connor were both really cool about it.”

Ryer bites his lip. He stares at the surface of the harmonica, carefully brushes his thumb over the burned initials, his in Derek’s handwriting, tilts it, touches the C telling him the key for just a second, then lifts it to his lips.

It’s a slow tune, not pushing the harmonica at all, but still joyful. It doesn’t last long, either. It’s only to get a feel for the instrument.

Still, it brings an equal blush to Derek’s face.

Ryer looks at him. Their eyes meet for a charged moment. For just that second, Derek thinks maybe Ryer is going to kiss him again. But then Ryer’s eyes turn away and he just says, softly, but with all the sincerity in his heart, “Thanks.”

Derek beams. That much is done, finally. Ryer has the harmonica he should have. Ryer has his music freed again.

On that high, of doing what he sets out to do and getting so much gratitude in return, Derek forges on. “I also had something I wanted to talk to you about,” he says. Glancing towards the neighborhood, and seeing still no sign of Jamie or Cove, Derek steels his heart.

“What is it?”

“It’s about… about that day… when you- uh… you know. Kissed me?”

Ryer flinches. “Sorry.”

Derek protests immediately on hearing that. “No! That’s not- Look, just… hear me out, okay? I was thinking a lot about it and I had an idea that I want you to hear, alright? It’s nothing bad, I promise, just… listen to it all before you make a decision, please?”

Ryer, unable to meet Derek’s gaze, thumbs the initials on the harmonica and nods silently.

Okay. Okay, this is it. Showtime. Derek takes another deep breath. “So, I know you have a lot to figure out, and I totally get that. Honestly, I have a lot I want to figure out myself, too. But I don’t want to just ignore what’s right in front of us. I-” Derek gulps. Meekly, he tries to project confidence, but he knows he doesn’t manage much more than just looking stiff. “I’m not ready. And… and from you’ve said, you’re not either. So, I won’t make any grand declaration or anything. But I hate doing things halfway, and ever since you kissed me, I can’t stop thinking…”

Derek babbles energetically, full of false gusto, but here even he peters out, confronting the words on the top of his tongue just before they actually escape him. “I mean, I’ve been thinking for a while,” he tenderly admits. “That I… I really like you.”

Ryer grimaces. “Derek-”

Derek waves his hands frantically, covering himself. “A-as I said, I know where you stand, right? So, I was thinking maybe… er…”

He shakes his head, doing his utmost to not look at Ryer’s expression as he struggles to articulate his question in a way that makes any sort of sense. “So,” he says, changing direction again. “You know thinking ahead and everything is important. You’ve got to get yourself a game plan and all that. It’s good to make plans- Especially backup plans.” He pauses just a second to breathe, not long enough to doubt himself, or to think about his words. “So, I heard about this thing where people make pacts with their good friends that, if they don’t find anyone else, then… they get together.”

Ryer’s silence is deafening. Derek can’t stand to let it linger, so he keeps on babbling. “Together-together, like they get married and stuff. So I was thinking- since it’s good to have plans- and I don’t- I can’t stand the thought of just ignoring what happened or how I feel I thought I’d ask if we might… do something like that?

“Just, you know, then we’d never have to worry about the future or finding someone. We can set it like a whole decade in the future. Forever from now. We’d have graduated high school and probably college too. We’d have jobs and be really grown up. We’d both have the chance to… go wherever we’re going to be, you know? Become whoever we’re going to be. And then, at that point, when we’ve both figured all this out… I want to respect little thirteen-year-old me’s feelings. Revisit this. Give it a chance. If- if that’s at all possible, anyway.”

He clears his throat awkwardly. “So, yeah. What do you think?”

Like a skipping record, Derek’s eyes lift in stops and starts, reverting back to the sand to replay the same scene, never quite reaching Ryer’s face. But Ryer doesn’t say anything, either. He worries his lip, carefully traces the burned lines in the harmonica with his thumb, silent for a long, long time.

“Why not?”

The words send a jolt through Derek, more in surprise at suddenly hearing anything than any registering of the words themselves.

Ryer repeats himself, louder, more firmly, before the words process in Derek’s mind. “Why not?” Ryer says. “Right? I mean, there’s no pressure, right? You’re definitely going to find someone before a whole ten years passes, so it’s hardly even a thing.”

Derek isn’t so sure about that, but he’s too flattered and overcome to protest in the moment.

“And…” Ryer frowns. “Well, I guess the responsible thing to do would be to make a prenup a condition.”

Derek bursts into a startled laugh. “Oh, my God, yeah, that’s a good idea. We’ll definitely do that.” It is very much the responsible thing to do, if there is a responsible way to agree to be sort-of fiancés in ten years. “I’ll make sure that by then I know how those work.”

Now Ryer snorts. “That’d be smart, yeah. …I’ll have to do that, too. But…” His eyes lift, and somehow Derek finds the ease to meet them. Warm, with that hint of gold in the light. Ryer pushes his hair back, and the effect is so different when he’s in these casual clothes than his usual ensemble. Derek’s breath washes away from him. “Why not? I think… I’d like to respect fourteen-year-old me’s feelings, too. Even if, right now, I don’t really understand them. Worst case, it doesn’t work out, right? But there’s no harm in giving it a chance.

“You… you stayed with me even when I did… when I made the worst mistake. And I hurt you.” His breath comes shakily, but his gaze doesn’t waver. “So, even if things don’t work out, if we do end up using this plan and it turns out to be another mistake… we’re still going to be alright, aren’t we? That… that’s what matters to me.”

“Really?” Derek breathes. “Oh- Great! Yeah, me too! I’m sure no matter what happens, we’ll keep being friends, and that’s the most important thing!”

He takes another large breath to calm his heart. “Okay, then! Let’s do it.” He sticks out his hand, offering a shake, and officially repeats the terms of the deal. “If in ten years, I, Derek Suárez, am still single and if, in ten years, you, Ryer Finch, are still single- We both agree that the two of us will get together.” With a tense giggle, he adds, “Pending a prenuptial agreement.”

Ryer laughs, embarrassed but happy, and firmly takes Derek’s hand into his. “It’s a deal,” Ryer says.

Derek laughs along with him, scratching at the back of his head with his free hand. “Thanks,” he says. “I feel better about the future already.”

Ryer’s eyes drift away from him, finding the horizon over the sea for a moment, then as his free hand thumbs the harmonica’s smooth wooden surface, Ryer’s eyes return to Derek’s. “Me too.”

Not for a second does he let go of Derek’s hand.

#our life: beginnings & always #Our Life Fanfiction #fanfiction #write

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theadventurousdork · 4 years ago

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Dani Clayton and Jamie Taylor: A scene by scene study on the dynamism of a queer romance

by theadventurousdork

Well, here we are! An unnecessarily long essay breaking down Dani and Jamie’s scenes together that I decided to write purely for the fact that they have taken a hold of my queer little heart and haven’t given it back yet. Grab some awful tea or coffee and take a read, if you’d like!

Episode One

In this episode, we see Dani and Jamie meet for the very first time. This is the beginning of them and their story. It all starts in the kitchen of Bly Manor where a dirt covered Jamie walks in just in time for the residents of Bly to gather for an afternoon lunch.

“The gardener didn’t even introduce herself to the new au pair. She barely acknowledged her at all. Simply treated her as if she’d always been there. The others in the room just assumed they’d already met, which, if she were honest, was how the au pair felt when she first saw the young woman.”

Jamie walks in without even batting an eye to the new guest meanwhile, we see a soft eyed Dani looking over at the gardener with a gaze that gives the audience the first look to the gravitational pull that seems to be set between them. With Dani explaining her belief that she has seen someone on the parapet of the old wing, Jamie’s reaction is cold. She looks down at the table with a hardened look. She looks almost hurt. We learn later on that Jamie was the first adult resident of Bly to find the dead body of Rebecca Jessel floating in the lake of the manor which has probably resulted in trauma for Jamie as she remembers her late friend. With Owen and Hannah also finding the possibility of someone being on the balcony to be slim, the residents carry on with their meal. As the introduction to Jamie’s character, we are able to see her cold and guarded exterior. However, we also see her wit and humor as she comfortably pokes fun at Miles and Flora. The space she takes when she walks into a room isn’t empty for she fills it with her bold personality and Dani immediately takes notice of this yet she doesn’t show any hint of openly acknowledging it.

Episode Two

Episode two sheds a different light on the pairing. This episode gives us the first look at Dani’s trauma and the weight that she’s feeling on her conscience. But first, we see her changing the tide at Bly as she puts Miles and Flora to work in the garden as punishment for locking her in a closet. As Dani and the children pull weeds, a relaxed Hannah and Jamie watch from a distance just as Owen offers them drinks. As the trio sip on their gin and tea, they discuss Dani and how her presence is a nice addition to the grounds of Bly. This is where something I call “testing of the waters: part one” occurs. Jamie asks Owen if he thinks that Dani’s pretty before continuing to poke fun at his inability to answer. Now this seems rude, especially considering Hannah’s negative reaction to it even going as far as to remind her that romances don’t fare well at Bly. However, I feel like Jamie does this purposefully to see if Owen would provide any reaction that would indicate that he would have any intent of pursuing Dani, which he quickly shuts down as he states that he only has eyes for Hannah. Jamie’s choice to do this can boil down to a simple poking of fun or maybe something more in terms of her trying to understand, and maybe even deny, the gravitational pull that she’s feeling towards Dani by deflecting it to Owen.

This episode also offers the first glimpse into Jamie’s humanity and her deeply empathetic nature. As a distressed Dani storms outside in tears after being triggered from seeing her dead ex-fiancé’s glasses, our favorite gardener comes to the rescue with buckets in hand. Now this is probably the first time that Dani has physically seen Edmund’s glasses since she packed them away before leaving Bly which can explain her intense reaction to finding Flora wearing them. The part to highlight about this interaction between Jamie and Dani isn’t the fact that Jamie tries to console her but is the way that she does so. First and foremost, the gardener tries to make au pair laugh. She makes multiple attempts in her dialogue to make Dani crack the slightest smile. Jamie’s dialogue saying, “there we are,” after Dani finally gives into the attempted jokes shows how laughter was Jamie’s initial goal.

“How else do you think I keep all these fucking plants watered? With my endless well of deep inconsolable tears. That’s how. It’s what got me the job in the first place.”

After she accomplishes this, she goes on to relate to Dani by telling her that she cries several times a day in an effort to make Dani feel normal and not alone in her vulnerable state. To see someone as cold and guarded as Jamie admit to something like this quickly humanizes her and puts her in the position of becoming a dynamic character. Finally, Jamie tells the au pair that she’s doing a great job and leaves a smiling Dani to watch her as she leaves. This offers insight to how Jamie doesn’t like seeing people in distress. She radiates a grounding energy and puts it upon herself to ensure that no one feels like they’re in over their head.

Dani is able to return the favor as she finds an angry Jamie kneeled over a massacre of her rose bushes. Jamie’s hotheaded attitude is shown as she wastes no time getting up to confront Miles for cutting her roses before they were ready. The point to highlight in this moment is that Dani hears her out. Dani listens to Jamie’s grievances and not once tells her that she’s overreacting. Dani hasn’t known Jamie for long but she knows the importance of plants to the gardener and she doesn’t give Miles a pass at ruining something that matters so much to her. Having two separate scenes showing that each half of the pair have the power to talk each other down regardless of having known each other long, serves as a taste as what’s to come for their journey together.

Episode Three

Here we see “testing of the waters: part two” as the keepers of Bly watch over a sleeping Miles and Flora by a crackling fireplace. A tired Hannah rests her head on Owen’s shoulder as Dani and Jamie watch from across the room. Jamie goes onto ask Dani if she wishes she were leaning on Owen instead of Hannah and explains how every woman in town fawns over Owen without him even knowing it. This key moment goes hand in hand with Jamie’s testing of the waters in episode 2 when she tests Owen’s potential attraction to Dani to now testing to see if Dani would be interested in Owen. Jamie’s subtle comments allow her to see the odds of Dani liking Owen without risking any awkward interaction that would potentially be too invasive. With Owen being the only man in the house, it’s understandable for Jamie to want to see if Dani would pursue him which in turn would signal that Dani may not be interested in someone like her.

What comes next is what I like to believe is the moment that Jamie begins to fall for Dani and I mean really fall for her. The conversation about love and possession is beautifully done and sets the distinction that will go onto separate Peter and Rebecca from Dani and Jamie. After a vindictive history lesson on the toxicity of Peter and Rebecca’s relationship, Jamie mentions the idea of loving someone versus possessing someone to which Dani replies that she doesn’t believe should be possible. The effect of this is seen on Jamie’s face as she looks at Dani. It’s a face that says that she’s staring at someone who understands. Understands the fragility of love and the thin lines that separate healthy versions of love from toxic ones. It happens in the span of a second but we can see a switch click in Jamie’s mind just before she breaks her gaze. From what we collect of Jamie’s past a few episodes later, we come to understand that she has always been owned. Stemming from a broken home and growing up in the foster care system, Jamie has always been someone else’s possession to claim ownership of but never was truly loved and nurtured. To hear someone finally understand that there’s a distinction between loving someone versus feeling like they have the right of possessing them, must feel like a moment of overdue comfort.

After a restless night due to seeing Edmund’s ghost again, Dani wakes up the following morning to see Jamie asleep on the couch. This scene lasts merely thirty seconds so why make the choice to keep it in? What significance does it really hold? Is there any significance at all? For me, the significance is comfort. I feel like there’s a level of comfort that Dani feels when she realizes that Jamie was just down the stairs as she laid awake the night prior feeling as if she were alone in the depths of her own shadows.

The new day ends in the tragic news that Owen’s mom has passed away. After a sympathetic Hannah sends Owen off and leaves to light a candle for the deceased, the gardener and au pair are left to give their own goodbyes to each other. As Dani voices that she’s glad that Jamie stayed on the grounds throughout the day and the night prior, Jamie agrees and the two share an uninterrupted gaze at one another. Here is where we see Dani’s first advance as she takes hold of Jamie’s hand. Ever so slightly does Jamie latch back before Dani quickly pulls away.

“Who the hell knew?”

Those words leave Jamie’s mouth as a mixture of relief and shock paint her face as she gets into her car. Dani watches her drive away with an expression that reads “did I really do what I think I just did?” This moment is cut short as she turns around to see Edmund’s ghost staring blankly from behind her. Fear overcomes Dani and a scream is let out as Edmund gets sucked backwards by an invisible force. Up until this point, Edmund’s ghost has remained stagnant, either appearing in a reflection or in parts. This extreme motion of getting pulled backward into the manor can be read as a way to reflect the intensity of the emotions that Dani is feeling in that exact moment. The amount of tension that Dani must have felt to muster up the courage to reach for Jamie’s hand must have been extremely intense which in turn would evoke an intense manifestation of Edmund’s ghost.

Episode Four

Episode four is what I call the episode of guilt. In this hour, we delve deeper into Dani’s past and the darkness that she’s been holding in her heart. Dani’s life just before Bly is revealed and we see snippets of her life with Edmund. From childhood best friends to teenage lovers to getting engaged, Dani and Edmund almost seemed like the perfect set up to an 80s romcom. Almost is the key word here as it’s revealed that Dani breaks up with Edmund just before he storms out of their car into the path of an oncoming truck, killing him right in front of her thus revealing why Edmund is haunting her. Flashforward to Bly, Dani has begun to see Edmund’s ghost more and more. His first appearance in the episode is in Dani’s bedroom mirror just as Jamie helps unzip her dress. If it weren’t apparent in the episodes prior, Dani holds an immense amount of guilt. This guilt doesn’t only stem from being the reason why Edmund was killed but also lies in who she is. Edmund’s presence is symbolic for the guilt that Dani feels whenever she is just on the brink of exploring her sexuality. We see that every interaction that Dani has with Edmund’s ghost occurs just after she shares a moment with Jamie. With Jamie being a tangible representation of what Dani desires, her visions of Edmund become more intense and more frequent as her guilt increases.

The episode continues to show Dani experiencing Edmund’s haunting again when Jamie arrives back to the manor after attending Owen’s mom’s funeral. Here we see Dani catching herself staring at Jamie from across the table. When Jamie catches her gaze, Dani retreats to the sink where we see a mixture of nervousness and excitement across Dani’s face as she looks over her shoulder to take one more look. This moment filled with butterflies and yearning is cut short as Edmund’s hands slide across Dani’s hips as she sees him in a reflection which causes her to panic. Edmund’s presence is growing closer and stronger as Dani has begun to navigate her feelings for Jamie.

In a flashback, we get a glimpse into possibly one of the first times that Dani’s internal conflict of her sexuality crosses her mind. As Dani gets a dress fitted, the female tailor makes flirtatious passes at her. We see Dani acknowledge these advances and isn’t opposed to them occurring. The scene switches to a guilt stricken Dani, her eyebrows furrowed above saddened eyes that wander upward to Jamie who’s helping prep the table for dinner. This quick glance up to Jamie holds so much. The internal turmoil that Dani is feeling in this moment is palpable. To think that all of her moments of repression have led up to this. This feeling of wanting. This feeling of yearning. To live openly and authentically as the person she’s always been.

Later that night, the keepers of Bly hold a bonfire to honor those that they’ve lost. A weight can be felt on the four as they remember their late loved ones by the warmth of the fire. The concept of found family lies in the heart of those who find a home at Bly and can be seen through Hannah and Jamie’s odes to the late Rebecca, Dominic, and Charlotte.

“Because from here on in, the shadows get deeper… the nights get longer. We’re heading into the dark and we have to hang onto each other. So, we can only carry so much.”

As they commemorate who they’ve lost, Jamie mentions Dani and how she believes that Dani is the key to getting Miles and Flora back to themselves. A moment of pain rushes across Dani’s face as Jamie states how she believes that Dani is stronger than she thinks. To be in the midst of an internal conflict yet hear how someone believes in your strength can be something so painful to hear as you struggle to believe it yourself. We see Dani in a battle with herself as she fights to live authentically regardless of the guilt she’s carrying.

Eventually, the gardener and the au pair break away from Owen and Hannah to go to the greenhouse. A pivotal moment in the growth of Dani and Jamie’s relationship occurs here when Dani makes the decision to lay everything out on the table for Jamie and finally explain her history with Edmund as well as sometimes seeing his ghost.

“I’ve never told anybody that.”

These words that leave Dani’s mouth are so intimate and so vulnerable. Jamie takes what she’s being dealt and handles it with such a level of care that ensures that Dani knows that she’s being heard and respected. As we’ve seen Jamie talk Dani down from a breakdown in episode 2, we see a parallel here where Jamie takes it upon herself to make Dani laugh in an effort to console her. This moment is cut short as Dani musters the courage to ask the heartbreaking question that allows Jamie to make the decision whether to take or leave Dani and all of her baggage.

“Think I’m crazy?”

The pain in Dani’s face as she asks this shows just how scared she is to be rejected by the one person she wants the most. Without even a hint of hesitation, Jamie reassures her that nothing has changed in her view of Dani’s strength. A wave of relief comes over Dani as she’s hit her tipping point of acting upon the feelings she’s been suppressing all this time. She kisses Jamie and a moment of vulnerability is shown on Jamie’s face as she gets the confirmation that Dani is sure in her decision to do this. This moment is short lived by Edmund’s ghost appearing just behind Jamie, causing Dani to retreat in a panic. This is probably the worst cockblock in the history of cockblocks. Dani quickly retreats as Jamie mirrors her actions and immediately puts her walls back up as embarrassment sinks into them both in different directions. As the pair make it back to Hannah and Owen, Dani is visibly disappointed with how things ended up. Jamie’s comment of “it’s all good” as she guides Owen away from the bonfire shows how she would prefer to move on right away instead of confronting the confusing messages she’s just received from Dani.

The final scene of the episode is what I like to call Dani’s last straw. Dani’s guilt has turned to anger as she makes the decision to confront her own shadows by throwing Edmund’s glasses into the bonfire. Flashbacks of kissing Jamie intercut the scene to really solidify Dani’s desires to move on and be able to freely love her without the burden of her past.

“It’s just you and me then.”

Dani is tired. She’s waited for this moment. She’s finally accepted this part of her and she stares straight into Edmund’s ghost without any more fear. She’s found the strength to move on.

Episode Six

The sponsor of this episode is cement as Dani and Jamie cement their relationship in this hour. The episode begins with Dani’s attempt at reconciliation after the unfortunate cockblock of a certain dead ex-fiancé in episode four. Dani wakes up at the crack of dawn to visit Jamie in her greenhouse. Dani’s entire existence in this moment is ridden with nervousness as she puts on her best “everything is normal” face. Jamie is quick to notice how out of character waking up this early is for Dani to which Dani dismisses. We see that Jamie’s cold and guarded exterior is back and for good reason considering the unfortunate events at the end of her and Dani’s last interaction. Dani’s eagerness to patch things up puts her through several attempts at getting a reaction out of Jamie, each of which ends up being shut down. First is the gesture of giving Jamie coffee which results in her gently spitting it back into the cup. Next is Dani’s attempt at voicing how lonely she’s been.

“No Owen. No you.”

Dani’s voice drags on a little longer here to emphasize how Jamie’s absence the last few days have created a noticeable emptiness at the manor. Jamie responds with a simple “sometimes people wanna be alone” which seems like her own personal choice. However, Dani finally gets a reaction through Jamie’s icy exterior when she makes her laugh after a terrible attempt at a British accent. This mirrors the other instances prior where Jamie has made the effort to make Dani laugh in order to ease any emotional tension. After the ice has been broken, we see Dani’s first wind of confidence as she asks Jamie out to a boring ol’ date at a boring ol’ pub. We can see relief and a sense of pride strewn across Dani’s face when Jamie catches her drift. This marks the beginning of a fresh start for the two.

The next time we see the pair is in the kitchen as Jamie surprises Dani by coming back to the manor after initially leaving.

“Made it halfway home and I thought ‘rough day, maybe Poppins might fancy a little boredom.’”

Dani’s shocked excitement quickly turns into awkward nervousness as Hannah and Owen wave them away to spend time together. Jamie gently takes Dani’s hand and guides her out of the room. This presents the reaffirmation that Jamie still cares enough to try again with Dani.

The gardener leads the au pair somewhere off on the grounds of Bly to a secret area where moonflowers have bloomed. She explains how difficult they are to grow in England and how fragile their lifespan is.

“That’s a lot of work for a flower that only blooms once.”

“That’s what people feel like to me. Exhaustive effort, very little to show for it.”

“All of them?”

“All of them. Even you. Even me… especially me.”

Jamie’s emphasis on herself shows her insecurity of not being enough after anyone makes the effort to break down her walls and gets to know who she really is. What follows is a tear-jerking speech that gives insight on Jamie’s past and her painful upbringing. From the details of her childhood like growing up in a broken home, being forced into foster care, and serving time in jail, we begin to understand why she puts such a strong, guarded front. The absence of a family unit in her youth and young adulthood has resulted in her feeling like she may be unlovable. Like she might not be worth the effort of loving. Just as Dani did in episode four, this is Jamie laying everything out on the table for Dani to decide whether or not she will take or leave Jamie and all of her baggage. After Jamie finishes her monologue, Dani gets up and doesn’t say a word. She takes hold of Jamie and kisses her. No words can alleviate the pain that Jamie’s endured but the effort of loving her can be a start. Dani pulls away for a brief moment to reveal a relieved Jamie smiling back at her after she has realized that Dani has chosen to accept her for everything that she is.

The next scene they have together is the morning after Dani finally gets her first restful night’s sleep.

“The au pair could not remember that last time she’d slept this well. And she thought perhaps she never had.”

The moment to highlight in this short scene is Dani stopping to look at herself in the mirror. She is finally able to see her truest self without being haunted of guilt. She smiles as she looks at her reflection and to a sleeping Jamie in the bed next to her. She’s finally made peace with herself.

The final Dani and Jamie scene of the episode occurs at the end of the day just as Dani puts Flora to bed. Here we see the purity in the relationship that the two are creating. We see Dani unapologetically long for Jamie as she says she’s going to leave for the night. The au pair’s subtle look at the gardener’s lips as she speaks and the inching closer and closer to her shows just how high Dani’s confidence levels have risen to after being able to finally love freely. To see Dani in such a smitten state of mind is a breath of fresh air for not only herself but for us, the viewers, who have seen her in such a trapped state of mind when it comes to loving someone. The innocence of longing, in tandem of making the promise of spending other nights together, show how much care and caution they are taking in order to ensure that they’re building their relationship in a healthy manner. What they are both experiencing shows a trade off of what they each have to give to the other. Dani has accepted her sexuality, which is something that seems like Jamie has already done long ago. Meanwhile, Jamie is being loved and wanted, potentially for the first time which is something that Dani has already experienced in her past. Each half of the pairing offers support and guidance to the other as they begin their journey as a couple.

Episode Nine

This final episode of the season was an absolute doozy in terms of Dani and Jamie’s relationship. I’ve watched all of these scenes a solid million times over and I bawl my eyes out every. damn. time. But I mopped up my tear-soaked notebook and carried on for the purpose of this essay. The episode picks up action as Flora sacrifices herself to save Dani from being dragged and choked to death by Viola, the Lady of the Lake. As Jamie and Owen arrive back at the manor after both having awful dreams, they briefly see Hannah as she says that they’re needed at the lake. Jamie bolts the second she hears Dani yelling. She knows Dani’s in trouble and wastes absolutely zero time trying to find her. Jamie yells Dani’s name and you can feel that her sense of urgency has one goal in mind: save Dani.

“It’s you. It’s me. It’s Us.”

Viola has accepted the au pair’s offer. Besides Flora, Jamie is the only witness to see Dani’s last moment of belonging to only herself. From this point on, the darkness begins to fester deep within Dani’s soul and Jamie must live knowing that there was nothing that she could do as she watched Dani let part of herself go to let Viola in. Jamie runs into the lake as Dani’s trauma starts almost immediately. Her breathing is quickened, and she can’t stop repeating those final words that she felt deep in her bones. The gardener holds the au pair and takes one look at her as she already notices the effects of trauma. Dani’s darting eyes are panicked as she struggles to register that Jamie is there with her. Her breathing finally slows as Jamie holds her close in her attempts to calm her down. Jamie is Dani’s grounding force in this moment. Dani has finally freed the ghosts of Bly but at the cost of her own self. Her own life for the souls of the others.

The following scene highlights the days following the incident at the lake, immediately starting with Jamie and Owen looking into the well to find Hannah’s dead body. I wanted to highlight this moment just for the sake of Jamie for she has been there to witness all the deaths of her loved ones firsthand. She was the first adult to find Rebecca in the lake, one of the first to find Hannah in the well, and the first to see Dani die in more ways than one. She just can’t seem to catch a break but after all… death is beautiful, it’s natural.

Jamie finds Dani as she packs away her things however, Dani’s mind appears to be somewhere else. Darkness has begun to burrow itself into Dani’s soul. She’s shaking. She’s terrified. She’s mourning the loss of herself.

“I feel her. In here. It’s so quiet, it’s so quiet, but she’s in here. And this part of her that’s in here, it isn’t… peaceful.”

Dani explains how Viola’s presence feels like a beast waiting for her in a thick jungle. She feels hopeless again but this time feels heavier than all the rest. She has something to lose here now. She has a relationship with Jamie to lose, she has an entire life to lose. It isn’t as simple as feeling the guilt of losing someone or the guilt of loving someone. This feeling isn’t human, this feeling of dread goes beyond what the stages of grief entails. Where is she to go if she can’t go within herself to find peace?

“She’s gonna take me.”

A tear falls down Jamie’s face as these heavy words fall out of Dani’s mouth. This is the first hint of Jamie losing Dani. The fear of the inevitable fills the room with such a weight that no words can alleviate Dani’s pain. Yet Jamie tries. She tries her damn best. She offers her company with the seal of a pinky promise. She gives all that she can offer: herself and her love. Dani’s feeling of darkness doesn’t have to be lonely this time.

After a final goodbye to Henry, Miles, and Flora, the gardener and the au pair set off to start their lives together as the image of Bly fades away into the distance. Their life together starts at a diner as Jamie plans their course of action, hoping to end up in Vermont to see snow by Christmas. Here we see Dani looking at her own reflection in the tableside jukebox before stopping Jamie as she worries that they’re planning too far ahead. Dani’s cautious. She doesn’t want to get either of their hopes up.

“One day at a time is fine by me. As long as those days are with you, Poppins. One day at a time is what we’ve got.”

There’s a brightness in these words which in turn reflect onto them. There’s a light in this moment that shows that they haven’t lost their footing yet. And thus begins the final climb to their highest point before the tragedy that lies ahead occurs. We flashforward to a year later to The Leafling, the flower shop that the pair have opened up together. Dani is still Dani and Jamie is still Jamie but more in love this time than the last time and the time before that.

“You see, I’m not sick of you. At all. I’m actually pretty in love with you, it turns out.”

Here we see the reintroduction of the moonflower. The symbol of Jamie and Dani’s love. The last time we saw the moonflower was back when the pair finally made the choice to accept one another and start their relationship. This time, we see the moonflower one last time as Jamie chooses to solidify their love by finally breaking the big L word.

A montage ensues of the gardener and the au pair’s life together. Years have passed and peace was just finally in their grasp. Or so it seemed. This feeling of fluttering innocence is put to a halt as Dani sees Viola’s reflection in the door of the flower shop. Dani stops in her tracks as she stares at the reflection, her face is still as she stands in a quiet shock. That is until she sees Jamie through the door, smiling at her with such a playful gaze. This instance shows yet again that Jamie is Dani’s grounding force even after all this time and Dani’s own reflection returns not even a second later. This is a moment for the audience to take a peek into Jamie’s importance in Dani’s life, especially at a point that something so vengeful is making its way to the surface. To see Jamie’s smiling face cut through the image of the beast in the jungle, we can’t help but feel the same pain yet also the sense of relief that Dani must feel in this moment. Although Dani returns to herself, we can’t help but feel Viola’s presence looming.

The scene that follows is another significant milestone in Dani and Jamie’s journey together as Dani comes back home with a dying plant that’s concealing an engagement ring. Above the surface, Dani has put the ring in a dying plant because she knew that Jamie would waste no time investigating how to save it. But this can also be interpreted in relation to Jamie’s moonflower speech where she says “every living thing grows out of every dying thing” to show how their relationship is taking the next step of growth as she pulls the ring out of a dying plant. The ring itself is a traditional Irish Claddagh ring, which shows how Dani did her research and chose a ring specific to Jamie’s northern heritage. The hands that make the band of the ring represents friendship, while the heart representing love, and the crown representing loyalty. These representations are fitting for the relationship that the pairing has created and for Dani’s proposal speech.

“Here’s the thing - you’re my best friend and the love of my life. And I don’t know how much time we have left but however much it is, I wanna spend it with you.”

The thing to highlight about Dani and Jamie’s relationship is that it runs on Dani’s timeline which is something that is so important to showcase, especially considering how Edmund had made almost all the choices for her in her previous engagement. Jamie understands this and has always insured that Dani felt comfortable before progressing further into their relationship together. In this moment, Jamie finally has a promise of love while Dani has security in the person she loves the most. As Jamie accepts her proposal and the two share a moment of celebration, Dani’s face of worry as she hugs Jamie shows that she feels an inability to be fully happy. She’s unable to fully give herself to Jamie in this moment which in turn shows how Viola’s presence is getting closer and getting darker.

We jump slightly forward in time to the pair visiting Owen’s aptly named restaurant, A Batter Place. After a moment of remembrance for Hannah, Dani looks into the reflection of a metal water pitcher to see Viola’s reflection yet again. Dani’s face is surprised by this sight, but she keeps it quietly to herself as to not ruin the moment of reunion. If we compare this instance to the first time Dani looked at her reflection at the tableside jukebox at the diner years prior, we can see that this moment is filled with much more darkness. The light that used to be inside of her is dimming. Although Jamie is holding her and is physically next to her in this moment, she doesn’t cut through the darkness anymore. Jamie’s power as a grounding force is dimming as well.

“So, they’re all happy?”

The inflection in Dani’s voice here is so subtle that only Jamie takes notice of it. Jamie looks at Dani and senses that something has gone off in her. Owen continues to explain how Miles and Flora have no recollection of the events that took place at Bly. No recollection of the sacrifice that Dani made to save them.

“So, if they don’t remember Hannah…they don’t remember…”

Dani’s voice trails off here. She looks down and is caught in the bitter realization that her sacrifice has been forgotten. This feeling of a looming darkness, this feeling of living a life that’s ticking down to her own demise… was it worth it? Jamie can feel Dani’s pain immediately as her eyes stayed glued on Dani who’s trying to see if there would be any way to remind Miles and Flora about what she did. The gardener stares at au pair without breaking away and in this instant, we can see that, along with Dani, Jamie is breaking too. Breaking under the burden of knowing that she can’t take Dani’s pain away.

The scene that follows shows Dani washing dishes where she sees Viola again in the water. She panics and finally admits to Jamie that she’s been seeing her more and more. The tension that was present between them moments earlier immediately fades away as Jamie wastes no time in trying to console Dani. Jamie’s blind optimism here has a slight tinge of desperation as she refuses to let Dani slip away into the abyss that’s growing stronger and stronger. Dani’s interaction with Viola’s reflection in this moment sets off an alarm bell within her, unlike the other times where she sat quietly and dealt with it on her own. This is Dani’s tipping point. The highest level of fear is felt as the reality is beginning to sink in that the beast is coming for her. Another thing to note here is that even after all these years, Jamie still makes the conscious effort to make Dani laugh.

“I’ll do the washing up from now on, yeah? You’re shit at it anyway.”

Dani can’t help but give the smallest laugh, but it’s more than enough for Jamie. Through Jamie’s optimism, we have begun to see that she’s not only consoling Dani but also herself as she tries to convince both of them that they can have so much more time together. The episode continues on with the train of heartbreak as Jamie comes home after receiving civil union paperwork for her and Dani. What comes next is what I feel like is the most heartbreaking Dani moment in the entire series. Dani stares deep into an overflowing bathtub where an ominous Viola stares back at her. Jamie is quick to bring Dani back to reality but Dani has lost her footing. Her hold on Viola has flipped to Viola having a hold on her.

“It’s like every day I feel myself fading away, but I’m still here, and… I don’t really understand how that is.”

The fear has withered away into emptiness as Dani struggles to stay afloat. We see Jamie so pained as she watches the light fade into a grey nothingness as she listens to Dani talk about how she is beginning to lose herself to the beast.

“I’m not even scared of her anymore. I just stare at her, and it’s getting harder and harder to see me.”

To listen to the love of her life slip away through her fingers has Jamie in a phase of denial as she continuously refuses to let Dani break apart. We see the gardener’s optimism wavering as she tries her best to help the au pair hold onto herself. Dani’s voice as she says Jamie’s name is filled with nothing but pure hopelessness and despair as she dips further and further into uncertainty. Yet Jamie doesn’t lose hope. Jamie would never give up on Dani as she repeats the words she told Dani in the diner all those years ago.

“One day at a time.”

However, Jamie has run out of answers. She can only offer comfort now.

Next we see Dani hit her lowest low as she is taken over by Viola and awakes to see that she almost strangled Jamie to death in their sleep. Dani is shocked and broken as she sits in the disbelief of what she almost did. The time has come. The beast has arrived. Viola has waited years until Dani was so broken down and so vulnerable, that she would finally be able to take her. However, we can’t help but believe that Dani fought off Viola this long thanks to the love her and Jamie shared.

The gardener wakes up the following morning to find an empty space next to her. She reaches to the empty space in the bed and then for the note left on the bedside table. It can only mean one thing: her biggest fear has come to light. With her strong will and determination, Jamie gives one final push and flies back across the pond to Bly to face what she’s been in fear of all this time. The amount of immense grief that is felt in this moment, to be at the same place that the love of her life began to be taken away from her all those years ago, must be incredibly damaging. The manor holds so much of Jamie’s life. She found her family there. She created a beautiful garden on those grounds. Her and Dani’s love blossomed on the same grounds that she first began to lose her that night at the lake. Jamie storms off to the edge of the water. Her face is so tired. She already knows what she’s going to find and yet she still doesn’t lose the hope that maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be true.

“The gardener said the words she’d heard those years ago; she willed it with everything she had. You, me, us. Us. ‘Take me with you,’ she cried in her heart. ‘Take me. Drag me down like you did the others.’ But the lady in the lake was different now – the lady in the lake was also Dani. And Dani wouldn’t. Dani would never.”

The agony and desperation that we see Jamie endure in the moments that we see her find Dani laying at the very bottom of the lake is a type of pain that is unmatched from any other moment of pain that we’ve seen this season. Her muffled screams as she takes a hold of her heart, only to let her arms go in despair under the water is something so haunting yet so unbelievably moving to see her love so much considering how far she’s come from the cold and guarded gardener we saw all the way back in episode one. She would’ve given up everything. Absolutely everything to take Dani’s place. Given up everything to join Dani at the bottom of the lake. Unlike Peter with Rebecca, Dani could never take Jamie down to the depths. Dani could never harm a single soul, let alone the one person that mattered the most to her. By letting Jamie go and taking Viola’s place as the lady of the lake, Dani has broken the cycle of violence that’s haunted the grounds of Bly for centuries. As Jamie was the hero of Dani’s story, Dani will always be the hero to Jamie’s.

The final act of the season ends with an older Jamie finishing her story to the wedding guests.

“She would know nothing of the gardener, nothing of their life together. The details, the specific moments would all fade away. More time will pass, and the water will wash away the delicate features of her; of her beautiful, perfect face. But she won’t be hollow, nor empty. And she won’t pull others to her fate. She will merely walk the grounds of Bly, harmless as a dove, for all of her days. Leaving the only trace of who she once was in the memory of the woman who loved her most.”

We see an older Jamie comfort a teary-eyed Flora who is afraid of the time when she would also lose the love of her life. Jamie comforts her with advice that we can only ever assume she learned in her time with Dani. The final scene shows the gardener’s nightly routine as she stares into reflections, hoping to catch one last glimpse of the au pair. As she drifts away into sleep, a hand wearing a golden wedding ring rests gently on her shoulder. Our haunting love story has come to an end. And the rest? Well the rest… is confetti.

#dani x jamie #dani clayton #jamie taylor #thobm #the haunting of bly manor #damie #amelia eve #victoria pedretti #bly manor

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imagine-that-one-thing · 3 years ago

Text

Styles. || 16

Yellow

The journey to LA was far from easy, and it was more than Jamie and I both expected to the point I had to convince Jamie not to back out on the plans and ideas. LA was a learning curve for both of us, and it was exhausting in every way possible. I did not expect things to be easy, but I don't think Jamie suspected the events to be as hard as they were. Everything that could go wrong went wrong. From our hotel being overbooked and having to find a new hotel to our clients signing the false documents. Everything with the entire trip went wrong from the beginning.

My phone vibrates against my desk. At first, I ignore it, but I glance over to glimpse at the caller ID-- A photo of Elise and me lights up the screen. I'm surprised to observe Elise calling at this hour. I slide across and answer my phone, "Hey, love," I greet, uncertain of why Elise is calling me at ten at night. I spoke to her earlier while she was walking to class. We had agreed to see each other tomorrow since I just got off my flight this morning. I place my papers in a file to keep private as I lean back in my chair.

"Harry," Elise attempts to keep her voice steady, but I can tell something is wrong.

"What happened? Are you okay?"

"Small problem," Elise sniffles, "My car broke down, my phone is almost dead, and my essay is due in an hour. I am soaked because I am locked out of my car, too," Elise informs me, on the verge of tears as she explains the events that have caused her to call me. "And it is pouring, and I'm in a white blouse," Elise whimpers, unmistakably sobbing. I hear thunder crack on the other end of the phone, and my office lights up while lightning intensifies the darkened sky.

"Send me your location. I am on the way."

"I'm right near my uncle's office."

"I'm coming down, don't move," I instruct, "Stay on the phone with me until it dies," I add, clutching my wallet and keys before walking to the door of my office and grabbing an umbrella. Elise grows withdrawn for a moment before she starts apologising to me for bothering me at this hour to come to get her. I shake my head and tell her to stop. It is my honour to find her in the middle of storms and help her out. It is what I am for. I hurry down the stairs and to the building's lobby, watching as the storm causes the lights to flicker on and off for a brief moment. The doorman glances at me and frowns but doesn't question me when I walk out of the door and hurry to my car.

The rain hits my windshield heavily, tapping furiously as if to make the point mother nature is pissed. I can hardly see as I begin to drive, following the location on my phone to get to Elise. Lightning illuminates the sky every few moments, and I swear the thunder shakes my car brutally. I tap my fingers against the steering wheel, anxiously attempting to locate Elise. Tonight wasn't the best time for Elise's car to break down. The raging storm is horrible. The trees are swaying side to side, the streets lights continue flickering, and the repercussions of thunder rock the earth.

I discover Elise's silhouette standing to the side under a slight covering. I park behind her car and put my hazards on, hopping out of my car instantly and hurrying towards her. "Hey," I greet, kissing her damp cheek and handing her the umbrella as I notice the small covering not doing much to keep her dry. Elise attempts to deliver me a humble smile, but she fails. I waste no time shrugging my suit jacket off my shoulders and sliding it up her arms, giving her something dry to help keep her warm, "Christ, you're freezing," I sigh, eschewing the fact she is wet head to toe. "Where are your keys?"

Elise holds her hand up and hands me her keys, "How are you locked out?" I ask, unsure how she has managed to lock herself out of her car on this awful evening.

"The car shut down, Harry. The locks won't work either. And I am in a white shirt."

It looks like someone has had a shit day.

Elise begins to sob while I place her car keys in my pocket.

I open my arms and bring her in for a hug. I press her against me for a moment and kiss the top of her head, "I think the white blouse is lovely," I chuckle, endeavouring to make light out of the situation.

"The doorman will get a good look at my bra." Elise cries into me.

"Could be worse, darling," I chuckle, "I have my laptop. You can send your work in once we get back to the office. It will all be okay, come on," I gesture my hand towards my car. "Get in the car where it's warm," I instruct, walking her to my car.

I hurry to the driver's side and sit in the car for a moment, adjusting the heat for Elise. "Thank you for coming." Elise breathes out.

"That's what boyfriends are for," I respond, beginning to drive while the heat is on full force.

I am not sure how Elise got so lucky to have her car break down and lock her out in the middle of a storm, but everything happens for a reason. There would be no way I could leave her out here in the middle of a storm.

❈ ❈ ❈

I close the blinds to the office and unbutton my shirt, "Here," I slide my navy shirt down my arms and hand it to her, "I have a white one over there," I gesture towards where Jamie left me a spare shirt the other evening in case I had a spare of the moment meeting. "I think it might be best if you wear the darker shirt," I smile, being considerate of the fact that I am sure she does not want everyone else seeing a wet, white shirt. Elise takes the shirt and looks around.

"Can anyone see?"

"No," I shake my head, "Door is locked, and blinds are closed," I assure her, stepping towards my spare shirt and grabbing it with my hand before wasting no time with sliding it up my arms and buttoning the shirt up.

Elise hurriedly peels off her blouse before pulling my shirt over her and buttoning it up, "What are you working on?" Elise softly asks.

"I am working on an ad-hoc analysis to make investment decisions for my client."

Elise nods her head and unlocks the door before she opens up my laptop just as my office door opens. Jamie marches in and steps towards me, handing me a file and setting a cup of coffee on my desk before glancing towards Elise, "What is my niece doing here? You both know I do not condone shacking up at work, right?" Jamie chuckles, and Elise shakes her head, bowing her head.

"Uh…" I trail off, "Not shacking up, her car broke down, and it has been downhill from there," I softly explain, unsure of whether Jamie disapproves of Elise remaining in my office.

"Elle," Jamie turns to face Elise, "What's wrong? What can I do?"

It is unusual to observe Jamie seem caring. In all honesty, most of the time, he seems cold. I still have no clue whether he is married or has kids. He is CEO to the max.

Elise shakes her head, "I am fine, Harry gave me a dry shirt, and I am trying to get my essay done," Elise gestures towards the laptop, "Will you tell Dad my car has stopped working? My phone is dead, and Harry is busy."

Jamie laughs, "And I am not busy? You know I run the business Harry works for, right?" Jamie continues to chuckle, "I will call my brother. If you need anything, just come to my office."

"Told you I am the favourite niece," Elise giggles as she wipes another tear away from her cheek.

I know she has to be overwhelmed and fatigued, hence the reason for her emotions and tears. "You're the more tolerable niece," Jamie corrects Elise, "Your sister is… She is a pain."

"Try growing up with her," Elise mutters.

"Mhm, anyway, I will leave you two alone. Harry, once you're done, you can leave. Take her home." Jamie gestures towards Elise, and I nod my head.

Jamie strolls out, and I stare back towards Elise, "Elle, are you okay?"

Elise glances up at shrugs her shoulders, not giving me anything to work with. I remain in silence for a moment, unsure of what to do or say. I cock my head to the side and watch Elise particularly. Her head is down, her hands are gradually typing at the laptop, and every few moments, she sniffles and wipes away a few tears.

I leave my side of the desk and shuffle over to her, "Elle," I demand her attention, politely taking my laptop and sliding it across my desk. I place my hand on her cheek and force her to look at me, "What's going on?" I softly request, wiping away a few of her tears and shifting her hair behind her ear.

Elise lifts her shoulders into another shrug, "I don't know. It is school, and Dad wants me to go into business and forces me to make investments I do not understand."

"What's going on with school?"

"It is kicking my ass already, and I hate my business classes."

It is a surprise to me that Elise is having difficulties. It appeared to me she was holding it all together and doing well. I guess I haven't paid as much attention as I should have. "I don't even know the basis of this essay, I am talking bullshit, and I have a test tomorrow. How the fuck do you do it?"

"Breathe," I instruct, "I'll help."

"You have enough to worry about."

"Is that why you haven't said anything until now?"

Elise nods her head, "Yeah, that is why Dad is on my ass. I have been asking him for help, and it is not working well. He is not of the teaching kind. Then, of course, I have my sister blowing me up, my roommate sucks, and life just isn't working in my favour right now. My car broke down, and I am sitting here crying in my boyfriend's office."… "It has been a bad day, Harry."

"It sounds like it. I'll help. Wipe the tears away and take a few drinks of my coffee to warm you up a bit, and we can work on your essay."

"But you're busy," Elise laments.

"Don't worry about me. Whenever you need help, just ask. I can work and help at the same time," I assure her, sliding my laptop back towards Elise and glancing at her screen. "Oh, you have Hargis. He's tough but not impossible. Have confidence in yourself. You have a great topic," I assure Elise, quickly reading the first few sentences to see what she's doing.

"I just don't understand any of it for my test."

"What is Computing the intrinsic or fundamental value of an asset?"

Elise heavily sighs, "Harry. I do not know."

She looks like she is about to start crying again. Fuck. "Basically, it's a fundamental price," I respond, kissing her cheek, "Takes time, baby. You'll get the hang of it."

"Mhm," Elise hums, not thrilled at all, "Can't I drop business?"

"Sure, I'll support you no matter what you choose."

I will support Elise in all decisions she makes. I may not always agree with them, but I will support her and be her number one fan. I want Elise to succeed and be happy. I want her to grow into the woman she has the power to be. I will never hold her back; instead, I will hold her up and hold her head above water to stop her from drowning.

"I'm sure my father will not."

"Business isn't for everybody. If it isn't what you want to do, don't do it." I respond.

Elise has the potential to do whatever she wants with her life. I know she will succeed at anything she puts her mind to. Business is something you are either born for or you're not. It doesn't come easy, and it isn't for everybody. I have been reading stocks and reading about the business world since I could read. It was my thing. It was what intrigued me.

"I don't know," Elise shrugs, starting to type away before I travel back to my side of my desk to do my work.

"You need a break."

"Oh, how the tables have turned," Elise sniffles, again wiping away a few tears. "What is the former? This makes no sense," Elise shakes her head, brushing a few more tears from her eyes.

"The former is known as a systematic or rule-based approach and the latter as a discretionary approach,"

"And they are usually associated with passive and active investing, right?" Elise softly asks.

I smile and nod my head, "See, you do know what you're doing, baby," I assure her. "Nevertheless, discretionary and systematic approaches are subtly different concepts. You need a break."

"Oh, how the tables have officially turned."

"They have," I nod, "I have to go up to Cheshire. How about we leave in the morning?" I suggest, "I know we both need to study, but I think it will be good to have the weekend off. We can still study."

"What about work?" Elise asks.

"Jamie gave me the weekend for working in LA all fucking week." I respond, more than happy to have a few days off, even if it means I have to devote it to studying.

❈ ❈ ❈

Elise accompanied the dreaded drive to my mother's, but even so, still, I was not too fond of every minute of the drive. This town always leaves me feeling cold and bitter. The memories I have of the place are not peaceful. My mother's house is still warm and comforting to a certain extent, but I can't help but feel an ache in the pit of my stomach every time I have to walk past the damn chair my father used to recline in. I clear my throat as my sister rocks back and forth in the damn chair, a white blanket draped over her as she taps her fingers against a wine glass. I tap my foot anxiously, my jaw clenching with every passing moment. She resembles my father in ways I can't stand. She is not the girl I once knew, the girl who would sit in the closet with me when our parents were fighting, the sister who held me and made sure that I knew we would be okay. At one point, she was my rock, now the tables have turned, and it seems like I am the one who needs to coddle her and protect her. Sadly, I do not know how to protect her and fix her. My father has destroyed both of us in many ways, but that cannot define us. I am not defined by the trauma my father has instilled in me. I can't use my father as an excuse for everything, and neither can my sister.

I shake my head and stand up, unable to control myself, "Gemma, get up," I instruct, taking her wine glass and placing it on the coffee table before my sister huffs and stands to her feet.

"What?" She mutters, not too pleased with me. We have not been speaking much since her antics when she went on an alcoholic rampage. It isn't that I hold it against her. It's that I know she can do better, and she hates authority. She hates that I am right about her.

"Jus' move, please," I instruct, gesturing for her to take a seat anywhere else in the house. My sister cocks her head to the side and stares at me, not moving out of the way. "Okay, since you won't move, help me pick this up. Grab the other end." I gesture towards the old chair that I want to douse in gasoline.

"You have lost your marbles. Mum will kill you."

"This chair is going to kill my sanity; let's go," I mutter, reaching down and picking up half the recliner, eyeing my sister to pick up her end.

My sister complies and lifts her end, most of the weight on my end.

I catch Elise in the corner of my eye, observing as she drinks her tea, but she doesn't say anything; instead, she moves to open the front door.

I carry the chair out and place it down by my car before walking back inside, not saying a word as Elise continues to sip her tea while she studies.

Carrying the damn couch was like taking a burden out of the house— it felt magnificent. My mother will more than possibly kill me for getting rid of the chair, it is one of the only pieces she has left, but it is a burden. Whenever I see it, I remember my father, who isn't worth the memory. Observing my sister rocking back and forth in the chair with a glass of wine was my tipping point. I do not want to see my sister turn into my father. Right now, she is on the same path as he is. She is slowly becoming a person I don't recognise, a person who doesn't do anything but drink and make life worse. I don't want this life for my sister. My sister has potential. She is a fantastic writer and could go far with her writing if she would apply herself and stop drinking.

"Why is my furniture outside?" My mum's voice distracts my thoughts, her voice4 travelling from the front door.

Uh oh.

I don't respond; instead, I wait for my mother to make her way to the living room, her hands full of paper bags filled with groceries. My mother raises a brow, and I make an effort to take the bags from her, wasting no time placing the groceries on the kitchen countertops. "Anyone care to answer my question?" My mother repeats her question.

I don't have the heart to tell her the reason why my impulse forced me to throw parts of her furniture outside. "Ah, Mum, I uh—" I trail off, reaching into one of the bags and taking out some of the groceries.

"I think what Harry means to say is that he is replacing the furniture."

"He is?"

"I am?" I look towards Elise with wide eyes before I clear my throat, "I am," I change my voice, sounding more convincing.

I don't think I can afford to buy a whole new living room set for my mother, who deserves it, but I guess I may as well add it to the list of things that I need to work on.

Maybe when I get my full pay from Jamie, I will buy my mother new furniture and fix up parts of her house. I know she needs some renovations, but she can't afford it, and I hate to see my mother without the best of the best.

"Harry, you don't need to do that."

"You deserve it," I shake my head, opening my arm and hugging my mother as she leans into me. My mother is an angel. She deserves the world— and I wish I could give her everything she deserves.

My mother gave up so much for my sister and me. She worked night and day to provide for us. She put us through school, raised us and made sure we had everything we ever needed. We may not have been rich with materialistic things, but we were rich in love. My mother loved and still loves my sister and me more than anything. She would walk to the ends of the earth for us. My mother is a saint after everything she has been through. My father was a horrible man and is still a horrendous man. To this day, my mother doesn't let that define her or allow it to be an excuse. My mother has raised above all challenges, and if buying her new furniture puts her at ease, I will do it.

I step towards the doors that lead to the back porch, and Elise instantly follows me. I close the door behind us, and Elise wraps her cardigan around the front of her body, the wind chill brushing past us. "Before you get mad and stress, hear me out," Elise instantly presses.

I shake my head, "I am not mad," I assure her. I have no reason to be mad with her. "I just can't afford it right now. Jamie doesn't pay me the big lump sum for another few weeks."

"Harry, I have it covered."

"What?" I question, unsure of how or why Elise has the living room furniture covered.

Elise steps closer to me and offers me a smile, "I noticed some of the couches were ripped and needed replacing, so I have been looking at furniture."

"That's nice, but I can't afford it."

"Great," Elise smiles, "I will pay for it."

"Elle," I shake my head, but she doesn't let me continue speaking.

Elise swiftly cuts me off, "Harry, it's one less thing for you to worry about. You won't let me help pay for the mortgage or anything. Let me do this. It can be an early Christmas present."

"I'm too tired even to fight it. I will pay you back," I assure Elise.

It isn't Elise's responsibility to pay for anything of my family. "Mhm, I don't want the money back."

"We shall see about that," I smile, leaning down and kissing her sweetly. "I do appreciate what you do and for being so understanding."… "Hopefully, this is temporary. I hope with my work starting that things will settle financially."

"I am sure it will," Elise nods, "Don't stress it," Elise offers me that sweet, addicting smile of hers that I adore so much.

I go to speak, but I stop when I see my mother at the door, gesturing for us to come inside.

❈ ❈ ❈

I feel myself in and out of sleep, a warm hand to my back, the tender touch causing a small smile to form on my lips. I have been having some restless nights lately in London. I had hoped that being out here in the countryside, I would sleep a little better, but that is far from the case. I have been in and out of sleep for the last few hours, my thoughts crowded with work and school. I will be glad when school is over and when things work in my favour. I just need to get through my masters, and it will all work out. If everything goes to plan, I will start my own business and have my masters in the next year or two. I will have to start from the bottom with my business, but I will get to the top. I will one day control my hours and be the CEO. Right now, it all seems so far fetched, but one day it will happen.

I lay awake noiselessly. Elise's delicate touch woke me a few moments ago, but I haven't moved; instead, I allow her to continue drawing on my back. This is the first time I have woken up to her awake and drawing soothing nothings on my back at an ungodly hour. I could get used to this. It's soothing.

She draws aimless circles on my back before she starts to trace a specific pattern. I follow the pattern, drowsily coming to terms with what is being written on my back. It takes me by surprise to understand what she is tracing over and over again. I didn't expect the words to come from her. Elise continues to trace "I love you" on my back.

I told Elise I loved her a few weeks ago, she never said it back, but I knew it would take time. I didn't expect nor want Elise to say it because she felt like she had to. I wanted her to say it on her terms and to mean it. I am not sure why Elise is tracing it on my back and not expressing it in person. I contemplate whether to say anything or not. I don't want to make her uncomfortable. I am not sure how she feels about things. If she wanted me to know, she would tell me verbally. Or perhaps this is the only way she knows how to express her feelings. I am not sure what goes through her mind when it comes to emotions and relationships.

Once Elise stops drawing sweet nothings on my back, I wait a few moments before I carefully roll over and wrap my arms around her. Elise nestles into me and gets comfortable. "I love you, too," I whisper, breaking the silence.

I love this woman more than I had intended. I know it sounds awful, but I hadn't meant to fall in love so quickly and easily. I thought it would take a lot more time than it has. On rare occasions, I get time to myself and don't have to study or work; I have realised that I'm already at the point of wanting her to move in with me full time, but I don't think my apartment is sufficient. If all goes as planned with my clients and Jamie's offers to keep me working with him, my salary will be enough to get a decent house for the two of us if I get a mortgage; however, I'm scared to jinx things.

What if we move in, and it all goes downhill?

What if she realises he hates the way I fold my towels?

As stupid as they may be, I have many what-ifs, but I love her and want a life with her. I don't want a half-life, and I don't want to live this separate life of barely seeing each other because our schedules don't add up and because I work all hours. I know we are young, but she's the one. I may not be anywhere near close to marrying her, but she's my other half. She's the woman my mother used to tell me about when she'd say to me, "you'll know when you find the right one; you'll just know."

Elise is like a breath of fresh air. She's what gives me that extra bit of hope when it comes to life. She's my constant. With everything I've been through growing up, with everything my father has put me through and my half brother roaming the town, she is the only constant thing that makes me feel at home. She's my safe haven. She isn't the reason why I wake up every morning, that's cliche, but she is the reason why I go to bed knowing the woman of my dreams has finally found me— she's finally mine. I couldn't have asked for anyone better.

When I glance at Elise, I don't just observe a beautiful woman. I see someone ready to take on the world. I see a strong, opinionated and intelligent woman who will challenge me in every way possible. I see a woman who will call me out when I'm an asshole and put me in line, a woman who will love me and stand by my side through thick and thin. When I look at Elise, I see a woman who will probably cause me to want to pull my hair out at some points, a woman who will raise children to be just as bold, independent and as loving as she is— and most of all— I see a woman who will go to the ends of the earth to greet me with a smile.

Everything she does turns into something beautiful. She's the sunshine on the gloomiest of days, she makes everything warm, she is the hope in my eyes when I wake up each morning— she’s yellow.

"You're awake?" Elise whispers, settling space between us so she can move from her position and gaze at me.

"Yeah," I softly respond, "Want me to pretend to be asleep so you can take back your 'I love you?" I extend a slight chuckle, referencing the night I told her I loved her, and she asked me if I wanted to take it back. I do regret blurting it out in the middle of an argument. But oh well.

"No," Elise responds.

I hope I haven't ruined things. I know she may not have been ready for me to know I was awake. Perhaps she was tracing it in confidence that I was asleep.

Elise grows quiet for a moment before she smiles and pushes a few strands of her behind her ear, "Guess the cat's out of the bag, huh?"

I chuckle and lift my shoulders into a shrug, "Guess so. But if you aren't ready to admit it, I can pretend I have been asleep?" I offer with a cheeky grin. I can't help but feel giddy inside. I feel like a kid in a candy shop told they could pick any candy they want—the butterflies and happiness hum through my veins at the realisation that she loves me too.

"I love you," Elise whispers.

"I love you, too, darling," I respond as she rests back down on me and gets comfortable.

As Elise lays on my chest, my arms are wrapped around her while the rain starts to set outside. "Ever wonder what happiness is?" Elise murmurs drowsily, sounding as though she is ready to fall asleep.

For most of my life, I have wondered what happiness is.

Is it truly a feeling?

Is it an emotion?

They say that happiness is an emotional state characterised by sensations of delight, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfilment. While happiness has numerous definitions, it is frequently described as involving positive emotions and life satisfaction.

I am not quite sure what happiness truly is.

Have I felt it? Have I felt true happiness, or is it an illusion?

It's a question I may never know the true answer to. Happiness comes and goes in waves. One minute it feels as though it washes over me and cleanses my soul, but other times it appears as though it has deserted me. Happiness is like a heartbeat monitor; it goes up, it goes down, and when it looks like it is a steady, straight-line— it's probably dead— happiness is not constant. If it were constant, we would never welcome other emotions that are essential for life.

When happiness is not present, I discover myself learning some of the best life lessons. If it weren't for the bitter feelings, I wouldn't have the energetic drive to succeed in the business world. My sentiments towards my father, the hatred and resentment, give me the fire in my soul to become everything he wasn't. I don't want to ever be like him, and I want more for myself. I want more out of life than alcohol and anger.

I may never know what happiness truly is— I may never have my answer for what happiness is— but one day, I hope to have an understanding of it.

"It's you," Elise softly whispers, her body getting heavier on my chest as she falls closer and closer to falling asleep.

I smile to myself and run my fingers through her hair. It is an honour to be her happiness, but deep down, I have the feeling that she is my definition of happiness, and if she isn't the definition, she is the source.

When we are born, they say we are born with all the universe's wisdom and the answers to everything, but we forget it by the time we can talk. If I could talk back then, I wonder what wisdom I would have known— I wonder what knowledge I would have to offer someone— for now, I will settle with knowing that my happiness begins with myself and ends with Elise. To be happy with her, I have to be satisfied with myself. I may not be the best man; I am not a saint, but I do my best to grow each day. That is all I can do— it is all anyone can do.

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagines #harry styles fanfiction #imagine harry styles #harry styles prompts #harry styles blurbs #harry styles writing #fanfiction #harry styles fanfictions #Styles & Co #CEO harry #CEO harry edits #Imagine harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles one shots #harry styles preferences #1d imagine

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Top 12 Three Caballeros Moments: Ride of the Three Caballeros Epilogue!

Salduos Amigos...and Adios, as this is the FINAL part of my 20 part look at those happy amigos, those snappy chappies in matching serapes, those birds of the feather, THE THREE CABALLEROS, THE RIDE OF THE THREE CABALLEROS! Yes after 19 other articles, all paid for by megafan and patron of the blog @weirdkev27, it’s time to bid our boys a fond farewell. And what a ride i’ts been... we’ve had trips to Bahia, animaton sequences requiring a LOT of 1940′s cocaine ,Jose reinacting the plot of “Come a LIttle Bit Closer” by jay and the americans but ironcially not in the Badman Jose roll,, a less happy reunion where Donald went full vanilla ice for a few moments, Panchito giving us his long and storied family history in song form, Donald needing a vacation after his girlfriend punched him in the face and instead getting eaten by a giant snake, FLAMENCO MASTER HORACE HORSECOLLAR, Soccer with super cars, and our heroes having a warm and fun reunion and having to admit their lives didn’t turn out so good while Dewey jacaksses around in the subplot.

And all of this lead into their very own series where our heroes met a goddess and wayne knight all in the same day, defeated THE MIGHTY MINOTAUR, got into a giant robot fight on the fucking moon, meeting the roman gods who live on and tend to the norse world tree for some reason, preventing a stupidly started lava apocalypse, going to goblin jail via song, meeting some literal dead presidents, chasing a bear around a fancy rich people town, getting into the ch-ch-chalk zone, fighting a wrestling match against the respresntive of the god of death, dying and coming back to life as a result of said wrestling match, going to camelot to train with king arthrus’ self helf book, going to a yeti spa and finally returning for one last battle with an evil wizard, his pet monkeybatdonkeyrat, and wayne knight, and have to put up with Donald’s shrill abusive ex girlfriend through about half of it. All in all good stuff and i’ll always be greatful for kevn funding this and giving me the chance to both finally watch legend and in general cover these wonderful characters. While i’m sure Panchito and Jose wil lbe back for the big finale of Ducktales, I’m gonna miss these guys and hope they get another shot at the big time one day.

But Kevin had a great idea, one I decided to do for free since this thing cost 100 dollars together as it was a movie, and 20 episodes of television, so it was a LOT to do. Fun but a lot of work. A top 12 list of the best moments from across the works covered for this retrospective. From the movie to the series, these are the best of the best moments of the best boys around. So without further adeu join me under the cut as I throw one hell of an after party for one hell of a ride.

12. The Cold Blooded Penguin (The Three Caballeros (Movie) )

This one is low because it doesn’t exactly involve the boys at all as this was a short in their movie. But what can I say, I love penguins, especially Opus.

And the charming tale of a pengy named Pablo who has trouble with the cold and wants to head off for warmer climates just never ceases to entertain me. It’s adorable, pretty funny and just a nice little start to the film every time I watch it. Especially his friends with the sleepy, depressed eyebrows. Really relate to them, especially the tall one with a ponch, aka me as a penguin. Not much else to say hence why it’s so low, but I really enjoyed this short and can’t help but put Pablo on the list.. and wish he’d gotten a nod in Legend, but then again given we weren’t given a second season they were probably just saving him.

11. Charon’s Fabulous Cruise (Legend of the Three Caballeros) Another Cabs free entry but I Just love this concept: Charon, ferryman of the river sticks.. deciding since he’s not getting as many customers to turn it into a cruise ship complete with add. IT’s low both because it dosen’t involve the boys and it dosen’t take up much of it’s episode.. but damn if it ain’t funny. And Jim Cummings just brings his all to it.. granted HE always does, the man’s a legend for a reason, but dosne’t make his performance any less lovely. WIsh we got a second season just so we could see this guy again among other reasons.

10. You Don’t Get a Vacation You Take it (Legend of the Three Caballeros) Wayne Knight as Sheldgoose.. was easily one of the best parts of Legend of the Three Caballeros. While the show itself was fairly high quality it’s other main villain Feldrake eventually fell into just calling Sheldgoose a moron and hitting him as his only character. IN contrast while at first apperance Sheldgoose was just a rich asshole with hair that looks like a bad toupe but apparently is his actual hair and what he choose to go with and a hell of a moustache.. and while that’s all true, he’s also cunning and manipultive, often making Feldrake’s plans work simply by using clever manipulations. He’s funny, enaging and the sadest part of no second season is not getting more of this guy. Hopefully he’ll show up in another.. even the comics using him without Wayne Knight’s Dulect Tones would be nice. He’s a good villian and would fit just as well in the classic comics being either a snooty nuisance to donald in some way, or being a rival fro scrooge, also being rich but his family having earned it by stealing from others. But for now what we got ain’t bad and hte best example of just what sheldgoose is capable of is also his first bit of contirbuting more than as a set of hands for feldrake, phrasing. His vilian song. Yes Wayne Knight FINALLY gets a villian song. Your very welcome.

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The song is just fun, a Luau type song with a sinster undercurrent and wayne knight just having a hell of a time, alternating between speaking and singing> It’s low on this list because i’ts an OKAY song, i’ve seen better villian songs, I just really liked this one, and because it dosen’t exactly involved the boys, but I still hold to my convictions in putting this one on here.

9. Panchito Romero Miguel Junipero Francisco Quintero González (House of Mouse) Only House of Mouse entry, and suprisingly it’s not Donald squeaking “And i’m donald duck!” , which has been burned into my brain for a few decades. No it’s the groups OTHER song in there second apperance on the show Not So Goofy, sung by the incomprable Rob Pauslen. While I sitll think he was easily the worst Jose of the bunch, and that the roll never should’ve been given to a white man to begin with, credit where it’s do: he wasn’t a have bad panchito. He only voiced everyone’s faviorite rooster, suck it Foghorn Leghorn, once, for a song, likely to capatalize on the fact Paulsen was famed for Yakko’s World and other songs where he sang a lot at once, but boy did he make a meal of it. Observe.

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The song is lightly hampered by the fact it also uses his version of Jose which is probably the worst work i’ve heard from Rob. And given it’s the only roll i’ve heard of his that wasn’t very good and he’s still VERY CLEARLY trying his best, that says a lot to the guy’s quality. And im not saying all this to avoid backlash, I stand by what I say and how I say it.. i’m saying it because I truly love and respect the guy this just was not his best work. This song however is Rob on full blast, using his ablitlity to talk fast no matter the voice to give us one heck of a lively performance and name for Panchito, one that was reused for Ride of the Three Cabs though sadly minus the song, as I would’ve LOVED to hear Jamie Camill belt this one out. But the lively animation and liveleir performance earn this one a spot.

8. Baia, Donald (The Three Caballeros) For this one i’m squishing three different but related parts of the movie together: The “Have you been to Baia, Donald” song, the train trip there and the awesome musical number at the end. But all three flow together as one great sequence with the frist two serviing as a fun prelude for a fun sequence as Donald and Jose try to woo a lady named Yaya, played by Aurora Miranda, and get into a big and fun dance number that for the time is AMAZINGLY blended with the live action work. The song is an utter ear worm, the seqeunce is fun and it lacks some of the creepiness Donald’s later session of flirting had and the colors are vibrant as hell. Wonderful, beautiful stuff. It’s really hard to talk about as not a lot happens in it other than a fun bit of song and dance.. but sometimes tha’ts just waht you need: a bunch of actors, two of which were animated, moving and groving to a heckuva beat.

7. I Love You Guys (Legend of the Three Caballeros) This was just a very sweet moment but one I treasure. The Cabs beat a giant horrifying rage beast.. by genuinely apoologizing to donald, telling him they love him then having a group hug. After a full episode before this of them just kinda ignoring what he cared about, Xandra and the boys genuine apologies and Donald genuinely telling them “I love you guys” and realizing for the first time in his life he’s genuinely loved and appricated. It just feels so fucking nice. Shame they didn’t you know.. end the Daisy plot with him realizing he dind’t need or or that he wasn’t angsiting over a selfish goldigger in the first place but hey, you take what you can get sometimes and the getting is good here.

6. The Cabs Song .. in Comic Form! (The Three Caballeros Ride Again!)

Another fairly quick one to talk about but one’s that damn impressive. The Three Cabs ride again is a wonderful story that reunites our birds of a feather for an adventure in mexico.. and one of it’s two best moments, the other one way further up from Don Rosa’s classic, seriously check it out it’s good, is when the boys, to distract their enemy for the story, play their classic song. Musical numbers.. are hard to pull off in comics. As Linkara, comic critic and one of my inspirations check him out on youtube he’s really fantastic, has mentioned quite a bit not having the sound to go with it is an uphill battle. But i’m not as against this as he is.. as long as you can convey the ENERGY of said song and perofrmance in the page. As long as you got that, you can pull it off and boy oh boy oh boy did Rosa ever. While it’s only about a page and a half long it’s just a fun, wonderful litlte sequence, from the crowd that has no reaction til lthe end when our big bad clubs them with the guitar, to our heroes swipining tablecoths to seve as serape to Donald falling outside, it’s one of the highlights of an alreayd impressive story.

5. Jam Session (Ducktales, The Town Where Everyone Was Nice!)

Only one Ducktales moment but it’s a keeper to be sure and now I HAVE seen Legend... I can say as I did there Jamie Camil REALLY shoudlv’e been kept as Panchito but “The Town Where Everyone Was Nice”.. really was still ag reat version of the characters and still kept them true. It wasn’t AS good as the Legend versions.. but honestly that’s fine. Not every version HAS to be good as the others and they were still wella cted, wonderfully animated and the story was great. And the moment that shows it off best is the boys quite moment after lunch, where they remincse, have fun, think about old times.. then hear a radio and slowly but surely have a fun dance number together, playing like old times. It’s this moment that makes me REALLY question why people hated this so much, as this one tiny moment captures the cabs chemistry and comrander in just two short minutes, Donald getting angry, Jose defusing int with a dance then him joining in, the three just jamming iwth whatever’s on hand and jose magically playing the fluit with his umbrella. I’ts all just so charming I love it. The end version of the three cabs IS really awesome, it just didn’t make the cut. Still liked it though.. but this.. this is better. Sometimes less is more you know?

4. The Three Cablleros Song (The Three Caballeros (Movie) ) Look you knew this was coming, I knew this was coming, we all knew this was coming. But the song is no less awesome, with fluid animation, wonderful vocals and lyrics, and an unberably catchy tune. It’s iconic to the characters, having popped up in four different renditions during this retrsopective, all of them pretty damn good, but no one tops the original. Even the two more dated bits, some latin baby and Panchito having a gun solo, somehow don’t hamper what’s otherwise an iconic moment. It’s fun, it’s fancy free, and it establishes the boys dynamic perfectly, one that as we’ve seen would last a few lifetimes and probably will last forever.

3. We Say So! (The Three Caballeros Ride Again) While Ride again is a VERY good story, it’s best moment is ironiclaly it’s end despite leaving you wanting more and more. After a fun adventure and a laugh over it being for nothing really, our friends return to Jose’s job at a night club, which his manager, who understandably has issues with Jose choosing wooing ladies over actually doing his job sometimes, only gives him back because it’s a big night but needs a big act. The first touching moment here is the fact the boys pitch in without being asked because hteir friend needs them. But the real moment is what happens after: The Triplets return from the hotel, still bemoaning as they did ealrier in the story that Donald has no friends and assume when they see him on stage and see him crash off it that he incited a riot.. only for his friends to assure him he’s a very fine fellow and they say so.. and in an instnat the boys realize donald DOES have friends.. and the best friends a duck can ask for. And after a lifetime of being spat on and barely winning.. Donald gets an unquestioned victory, stnading proudly with his friends for a packed house who still want more while his nephews look on proudly. I say so.. and what I say is that this moment is one of Rosa’s finest and one of the most touching thigns the man’s ever written.

2. This is Just Where I Came In (The Legend of the Three Caballeros) The Legend of the Three Cabs was excellent and it ended on one hell of a high. After a heck of a fight via callbacks that barely didnt’ make the list, our heroes rush in to stop Feldrake. their sorcerer nemisis, from reviving.. only for it to be too late. He’s back in full and soon warps reality around him leaving the boys hometown of the New Quackmore insitute as a series of rubble, buildings and people clinging desperatly to both floating in a hell of a starry backdrop, the only chance to stop this from happenign to the world resting in our heroes. And it’s so we catch up with where the seires began: our three heros decked out in truly awesome armor, though why Panchtio’s is roman I have no idea, fighting a giant and mosnterious felldrake and while his deisgn in that form is eh, his threat is palpable and the fight is goregous and pitch perfect.. and only gets better when we catch up, as Xandra swoops in to save htem from the cliffhanger the series started with. It only isn’t up top because of tow reasons; I like the first moment better.. and the boys do fall in a magic pool of amulet juice and emerge with powers due to a character we just meet when they do so. It’s a bit of a cop out.. but even with it being a cop out and a dues ex machina of the HIGHEST order.. it dosen’t stop it form being awesome when our heroes emerge merged with thier amulets energies, in their signutre colors and whoop felldrakes ass with a revivied Xandra’s help and then nearly reseal feldrake before his being resealed, but in Sheldgoose, resotres everything and our heroes get a WELL earned bout of praise from the town and a fancy mansion and in donald’s case a new job. A specatuclar, tense and gorgeous finale to a wonderful series.

1. Ride Em, Vaquero! (The Magificent 7 (Minus 4) Caballeros) Look I know it sounds like a bit of a downgrade to go from a battle for the fate of the world to our heroes fighting a spoiled prince and a giant anaconda just to make it out alive.. but frankly this battle is more tense, has all boys showing off even better, and has a climax so awesome even saving the unvierse with suddenly gained magic powers can’t top it. For the setting our heroes end up trapped in a lost city with the bad guy of the comic, Don Rosa’s second to last and his second of only two cabs stories, prepared to get away. But then Donald snaps, spurred on bya ll the shit he had to put up with back home,and TACKLES the fucking guy in his boat getting into one hell of a scrap. And if that wasn’t enough, what brings this to true glory is a giant Anaconda who shoed up earlier, popping up.. leading to Donald fighting our big bad.. WHILE BEING TANGLED UP IN A FUCKING PYTHON.

What truly clinches this as the best of the best for me though is Jose and Panchito’s actions, with Jose fighting the guy off off donlad, and actually having his umbrella WORK this time, and while the bad guy gets the raft from our heroes.. he falls off a cliff. So how do our heroes escape.. simple .. PANCHITO LASSOS THE FLEEING SNAKE AND THEY RIDE IT OUT AS SEEN ABOVE THROUGH A POND FULL OF DANGEROUS CREATURES WHO ALL STARE IN AWE AT THE SIGHT OR FLEE. You.. you just can’t top that. The awesomness, the teamwork, the sheer balls on panchito..i t’s all just so beauitful and sums up what the boys are about: Deft teamwork, camradire.. and doing utterly insane shit as only best friends can.

So with that.. this ride has come to an end. As I said before and will say again, it’s been fun, easily the biggest project i’ve done so far, and easily one of my faviorites. I love these guys and geninely hope we see them again real soon. So before I go, i’d like to say some thank yous. I”d like to thank ALL of the talented people involved in the making of the original film, as there are way too many to mention as it was a package movie but without you lovely and mostly deceased people we’d never have these wonderful guys. I’d like to thank Don Rosa for bringing the boys back and better than ever and beautifully so AND returning to them again. I’d like to thank Henry Gilroy and Phil Walsh, who wrote the first and second house of mouse cabs episodes for bringing the boys back to the screen, as well as series creators Robert Gainway and Tony Craig and the MASSIVE pile of storyboarders for both episode. I’d like to thank the people behind mickey and the roadster racers, while your episodes were not very good I am glad the boys got more screentime, i’d like thank Frank Angrones and Matt Youngberg for their wonderful versions of the boys and total respect to their legacy, and i’d REALLY like to thank Matt Danner for giving us a wonderful series and finally giving the boys a starring roll again.

I’d also like to thank the MANY voice actors who voiced these wonderful characters, your beautiful all of you. To Donald’s voice actors for this retrospective i’d like to thank Clarence Nash, you absolute legend may you rest in peace, Tony Anselmo, may you keep on living please god we’ve lost a lot of good people lately don’t be one of them, and even Daniel Ross, who might not be the best Donald but he’s one of only five and you can’t take that way from him.

For Jose i’d like to thank Jose Olivara, without you I don’t think we would’ve even gotten to the Cablleros as a group, Rob Paulsen, you tried your best and your still a winner in my heart, Eric Bauza, you genuinely were the best, and Bernardo Del Paula, who gave Bauza a run for his money and I hope returns in the role in the future.

And finally for Panchito we have Joaquin Grey, again wouldn’t of had the rest without you man nice job, Carlos Alarzqaui, did the job and did it well, Rob Paulsen, gave us one hell of a song, Jamie Camill, the best around no one’s ever going to keep him down, Arturo Del Purto who while I prefer jamie.. still was excellent and I wouldn’t be mad if he returned again.

And last but not least I’d like to sincerly thank @weirdkev27. These reviews have GENUINELY helped me finacially since i’ts hard for me to find a job since I cannot drive and have a disablity, and thanks to htem i’ve been able to live comfortably and thanks to you in general i’ve been able to do what I love and get paid for it. You got me to do this wonderful restrospective, have been a genine support to the blog and a treasure to work with. Thanks man, your the best. So with that, it’s time to ride off into the sunset. If the cabs get another apperance outside of ducktales, I will pick this up again... and wether it’s in a year or ten you bet your bottom peso they’ll be back. Who says so? I says so.

#the three caballeros #the three cablleros ride again #don rosa #jose carioca #donald duck #panchito romero miguel junipero francisco quintero gonzalez #panchito pistoles #ducktales #the legend of the three caballeros #house of mouse #xandra goddess of adventure #charon #wayne knight #baron von sheldgoose #lord feldrake #duck comics #disney ducks #disney #disney plus

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uncrownedqueeen · 4 years ago

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Alone (Dani x Jamie)

Summary: Dani is a yearning gay mess for Jamie (aren’t we all lol). The fic is set in Bly before it all goes to shit.

Warning: SMUT (smut used to be my shtick around here, it has been ages tho and it was all straight, now i wanted to bless the gays, but this sucks, i honestly need to get my hang of this back again) ANYWAY, IF YOU ARE NOT INTO THIS.... just don’t read it mate.

Words: 2,8k

“Are you sure you don’t need me to go with you? If you could wait for just a five minutes, I could go grab my bag and-,”

“I’m positive.” Owen’s interruption struck Dani as a surprise, but as she blinked at him with her eyes wide, she was only met with an assuring smile.

“We’ve done this a plenty of times together, haven’t we?” He checked, hitting the roof of his car to get the kids’ attention as they were playing a tug of war over the new comic issue, which had arrived into their mail box just this morning as a favour from their ever absent uncle.

“Oh, yes indeed. Owen used to take us to the town all the time when Ms Jessel was here,” Flora answered and her smile seemed to falter a little. It was hard to tell whether it was because of the thought of her late babysitter or the fact that Miles won their little fight and was now comfortably seated with the comics opened on his lap.

“I will bring them back in one piece. You needn’t worry. Everything will be alright.” Owen said while putting a box of old children’s clothes into the boot of the car.

Dani shook her head instantly. “No. No. It’s not like that. I know you will take an excellent care of them.” There was not a single ounce of doubt in her body. Since she had arrived here, she got to see how much they all cared for those poor children. “I…. I feel bad putting my work on your shoulders. You don’t need to do this.”

“I know, but I want to,” Owen insisted. “I think we both need this. You’ve been working every day and I…” He didn’t need to say much more than that. It had been only a couple of days since his mother’s funeral, and Dani had noticed how much time he spent around here lately. She didn’t blame him. She knew how suffocating it could feel to be alone in a space you had once used to share with someone so close. It would do him good to have the children around him, forcing his focus onto something else than all those what ifs that must have been undoubtedly occupying his mind.

“Thank you,” she smiled at him in the end, nodding her head just a little, letting him know that she understood. “It will be nice to have a day off for once.”

There was a part of her which felt bad about this. If it wasn’t for the difficult time Owen was just going through, she wouldn’t be able to make her way down towards the greenhouse and spend more than a couple of minutes here and there during the day with her. Dani couldn’t help but feel silly when noticing the excited bounce in her step. Was this how it felt to truly like someone? Was this how Eddie felt when approaching her?

Thankfully enough, she didn’t get to get too deep into this since the sight that appeared in front of her as she entered the greenhouse erased any cohesive thoughts she could have.

“Oh god,” she stammered, her eyes stuck on Jamie’s half-naked figure in the corner.

“Nope. I’m afraid it’s just me,” Jamie chuckled, apparently under no stress that Dani walked in on her while she was changing her clothes. In fact, Dani could swear that there was a smug smirk playing on her lips.

It was only then that she pulled herself together and hurriedly glanced away. “What are you doing?” she exclaimed, carefully examining one of the hanging plants next to her.

“Mining gold, obviously. What does it look like I’m doing?” Dani rolled her eyes at the sarcasm and looked over to Jamie again. “I had to run some errands before coming here so…,” Jamie explained, motioning her hand to her work overalls and the small pile of regular clothes on the side.

“I heard some noise from the driveway. Is everything all right?” She asked, already moving around and setting the things she had just brought to their proper places.

Dani’s eyes followed her every step, she moved with such a confidence and ease. She knew this place and everything inside it like the back of her hand. Dani could spend hours sitting here and watching her do her thing.“Huh?” Dani’s eyebrows shot up when Jamie suddenly stopped in her tracks and sent her a curious look.

“I asked you what’s going on. I heard a car outside,” Jamie tried again and then her voice picked up a rather playful, almost teasing tone. “You seemed to have frozen for a little while. You know, I would have understood this if I was still half-naked but…”

“The kids are gone,” Dani blurted out, smiling a bit. “Hannah asked Owen to take some things to the charity shop in town, and he took Miles and Flora with him. They’re going to stop at the bookstore, get some ice scream.” Her voice was cheerful, and her feet brought her closer to Jamie, who had just got back to putting things in order.

“Oi! That’s sweet. What you gonna do?”

“Well, I came here…” She took a step closer and got in Jamie’s way. If anyone else had tried to do this, especially when her arms were full with the huge bag of the soil conditioner, they would most probably got cussed off. That rule did not apply to Dani though, and they both knew that. “I thought we could talk,” Dani added with a wide, innocent smile which Jamie naturally had to mirror to some extent.

The smile grew as Dani took the bag from her, doing her best not to show the surprise and the struggle with the weight while she put it to the side.

“Where’s Hannah?” Jamie asked to which Dani only shrugged her shoulders.

“Haven’t seen her since breakfast, where she prepared the stuff for Owen to take away. I’m not sure what’s been keeping her so busy lately, but I can barely see her when the kids aren’t around.” It wasn’t clear who made the first move, but soon their hands were locked together, and they were pulling each other close.

“So we are completely alone,” Jamie concluded, already leaning her head to kiss her. It was difficult for them not to smile into the kiss because honestly, it’s been a while ever since either of them has felt even remotely this happy. If someone asked Dani, she wasn’t sure if she ever felt even just a pinch of this excitement. Her heart was pounding so fast it could have easily jumped out of her chest and she couldn’t get enough of the sweet taste of Jamie’s lips.

“You didn’t really come to talk, did ya?” She exposed her amusedly in the middle of the kiss.

“I mean… We can talk! But I just thought…,” her voice seemed to shake not only due to the lack of oxygen.

“How about you just show me instead?” Jamie interrupted her nervous stammering and stole yet another kiss from her.

Dani didn’t reply. How could she when she could already feel herself melt into the kiss? She let go of Jamie’s hands and placed hers on the gentle curves of Jamie’s hips, making her take a few steps back until her back was pressed against one of the glass walls. Their mouths and tongues continued to taste each other, savouring every moment while Dani’s hand crept up Jamie’s side until it got all the way up to her breast. She pulled away just enough to look into the warm brown eyes that were staring up at her. She said nothing, but Jamie read the question in her expression correctly and nodded her head ever so slightly, encouraging Dani to unbutton the buttons on her overalls. A fond smile was playing on her lips as she watched her trembling fingers work. She definitely didn’t make it any easier for her once she leaned her head and traced her lips over the soft skin on Dani’s neck. Feeling Dani’s cold fingers move lightly over her chest sent shivers down her spine. Dani’s pull on the fabric of her clothes made Jamie lose her grip on her behind, and she helped Dani with pulling down the sleeves of her overalls.

The two smiled at each other, their cheeks flushed. Not only due to the excitement but also because of the heat they were both feeling now. Jamie slid her hands under Dani’s sweater before her head leaned back, hitting the windowpane as her eyelids fluttered close. Dani’s hands were keeping a good hold on her waist. Almost as if she was afraid that Jamie was going to go away. There was nothing that could make her do that, though. Never, not even in her craziest dream, she had allowed herself to fantasise about feeling the au pair’s lips on her body the way she got to experience now. Feeling her tongue soothe the small marks Dani left on her skin, an intimate path formed by small nibbles and bruises caused by her sucking on the skin too hard, which curved from the side of her neck all the way to her bra. Her hot breath tickled her, luring a quiet giggle from her chest.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to,” she was quick to say as Dani looked up to her face and kissed all the other potential excuses away from her lips.

“I haven’t been able to think about much else ever since then,” Dani admitted in a hushed voice, making Jamie’s lips curl up into a smirk.

There was no room for her to come up with any teasing remarks, though, since one of Dani’s hands slid down her stomach and disappeared under her underwear. Her touch was gentle and exploring for a while before it settled on the one particular spot. The gasp which had escaped Jamie’s lungs provided Dani with all the confidence she was possibly lacking. Even with how unexperienced she was in this type of lovemaking; she had never felt nervous or scared.

Everything about this, the sweet scent of another girl’s body right under her nose, the warmth and softness of those curves in her hands, the sound of moans and shaky breaths next to her ear, the heat and wetness around her fingers… It felt good. Great was actually a more accurate way to describe it. Everything about this felt absolutely right. Jamie’s chest was rising heavily as Dani continued to stroke her clit in swift circular motions and she used her hands to cup Dani’s face, bringing her up so she could kiss her and use her to muffle the whimpers she wasn’t able to hold in for much longer. They were making out before, during, and even after the orgasm had taken over her body and made her weak on her feet.

“I was hoping to hear you moan,” Dani confessed against Jamie’s lips when she pulled away a little to catch some breath. Jamie’s eyes opened to catch the sight of her as she felt her hand slip push further in the between her thighs. “We are alone now…,” she reminded.

A moment later, Dani pressed her index and middle finger against her entrance. She kept her eyes locked as she guided them inside. The way Jamie’s expression changed with every small move of her fingers inside her was a magnificent sight for sore eyes. As soon as the two fingers inside her curled slightly, Dani got what she came for.

She would have never guessed that bringing pleasure to someone else could make her own body feel so good. She never wanted for this to stop. Dani had to release her other hand from Jamie’s firm hold so she could push the sporty bra she was wearing down a bit. She closed her lips around her nipple and then flicked her tongue over it just when the fingers she had buried deep inside her picked up their pace. Dani looked up, satisfied to see the blissful frustration in Jamie’s face as she tried her best to bring her over the edge once again.

This time there would be nothing keeping her from vocally expressing herself. All the breathless profanities, moans and Deity’s names coming all at once. Just like Jamie did.

“You’re going to be the death of me, I swear,” Jamie stated once she got her rapid breathing under control.

“Well, I definitely hope you won’t. That would be an awful shame.” Dani smiled, stroking her bright pink cheek.

“Not yet. Don’t worry,” she assured her playfully, her hands settled on her sides. They slid down to her thighs so they could slip under the fabric of her skirt. She pushed against her, nodding her head towards the counter beside to let her know what her plans were.

Considering how open she had been only a couple of minutes ago, it was adorable how flustered Dani suddenly seemed when realising what was going to come next.

“What? Don’t tell me you did not think of this.” Jamie didn’t even try to hide her amusement, but she did attempt to tone it down at least.

“Of course, I did…,” she scoffed and attempted to smooth her skirt, almost as if she didn’t realise that Jamie’s hands were right under it.

“Then you know that there’s not gonna be much of a use for this.” Dani let her hands fall to her sides again and gulped at the feel of her underwear being pulled down. Jamie didn’t let it fall drop to the floor. She helped Dani to get out of it and pushed the thin piece of fabric into one of her pockets.

She didn’t get back up to her eye level, instead she made herself comfortable down on her knees. The hem of Dani’s skirt got promptly lifted to her waist, leaving the lower part of her body fully exposed. Dani could just barely feel Jamie’s lips on her thighs with how light their touch was in the beginning. She kissed every inch of her skin while her hands stroked small circles on the sides of her hips. Her body shivered once Jamie’s tongue paid extra attention to the insides of her thighs and her mouth sucked on the sensitive skin. She had to remind herself to breathe as she moved closer to her core.

What a great disappointment it was when instead of dragging her tongue over her heat, Jamie planted a couple of sweet kisses right above it. The annoyed sigh might have left Dani’s mouth without her realisation, but it did not slip Jamie’s attention, making her smile into Dani’s lap. To get back onto her good side, Jamie traced the wet trail paved by her kisses on Dani’s thigh until finally reaching her wet folds. She glanced up to check on her as she drew her hand over her slit and then pushed her middle finger inside. Her ring finger was soon to follow, this sensation accompanied by the non-stopping shower of kisses near her hipbone.

No one, except the two of them, would get to learn about the love-marks Jamie left on her skin while she moaned above her oh so sweetly. The two fingers kept pressing against her insides in a perfect rhythm, making her entire body feel on fire. Dani’s thighs tried to clench together in a reaction to the approaching orgasm but Jamie managed to keep her in place, choosing this moment, out of all them, to be the right one where she would move her mouth to Dani’s clit. This was the last push she needed to come undone.

Words couldn’t describe how content she was when Jamie’s face stayed right there between her legs, making the bliss last even longer. Dani brushed the dark hair away from her delicate face before opening her legs wider and bashfully, trying to guide Jamie’s head to move in the way she wanted. Jamie was more than happy to oblige, enjoying the cute moans Dani was making while she was eating her out. It was too easy to get herself lost in the pleasure, and her hips seemed to grind against Jamie automatically. However, her mind was in way too much of a haze for her to be embarrassed and worry that this was not the way how she was raised to behave. There were only two things she could focus on.

Ultimate, indescribable joy and Jamie. Her eyes remained stuck on her, even as her fingers curled and her breath got stuck in her throat, even as Jamie looked up at her and their eyes met. She got to see her while she cleaned her up, peppered her inner thighs and her lap with sweet, caring kisses before standing up, her face all flushed but smiling from ear to ear.

“Got anything else you want to talk about, Poppins?”

#dani x jamie #jamie x dani #bly manor #the haunting of bly manor #dani x jamie fic #jamie x dani fic #danie #danie fic #is this the ship name for them?#i honestly don't know

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jennyhoyt · 3 years ago

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first line tag

rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have fewer than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag some people to take part.

I have 17 total published fics between ao3 and ffnet. Some of these are so old this is going to be humiliating :’)

Tagged by my son @thatiranianphantom

1. “Cassie tries to quietly start the car. She looks over at Jenny who she’s sure dozed off by now, her head slumped against the cold car window with her hood up to provide some sort of barrier against the temperature. The higher elevations in January were unforgiving, and this was one of the most miserable stakeouts they’d ever been on, and they’ve resorted to running the car for just a few minutes every half hour so as to not draw attention to themselves. Miserable.”

-Gunfighter

2. “It starts with an undercover mission.Or, it starts with Jenny getting rear-ended and Cassie having to take this one instead. “I was just told to take it easy,” Jenny follows Cassie to the back of the office, “I’m fine.” “Mhm,” Cassie nods, “I don’t believe you will.” Jenny purses her lips and nods. Maybe.”

-Envy Slays the Strong-Willed

3. ““Don’t be mad” Cassie starts when Jenny picks up the phone, she sounds overly serious. In fact so overly-serious that Jenny can’t help but laugh on the other end.“Okay,” she responds, trying to hide her laughter. Cassie sighs heavily again and Jenny can barely hide her response. She knows Cassie's tendency to seriously understate major things, and get very concerned about minor things, and deduces that this is a minor thing, “what is it?” Jenny asks lightly.“My dad set me up on a date,”

-Imperfect Solution

4. “Shaw understands grief at a fundamental level. She understand why it happens, and she even understands the necessity of it for others. People seem so bonded to each other, from what she has observed, and broken bonds need repair.”

-Into Light

5. “‘Damn kids and their stupid games’ Shaw thinks, her run in with college students leaving her feeling strangely violated and wishing she could have kicked all their asses right there in lobby.”

-Smash or Pass

6. “"If you could have one wish, son, what would it be?" Walternate's voice was cold. The question was not a conversation starter, nor a way to simply get to know his son. It was interrogation.”

-Threshold

7. “The words 'Walter' and 'babysitting' should really never be in the same sentence.”

-Come and Gone

8. “Olivia really couldn't figure out how she got suckered into an investigation a week and half before her due date.”

-There’s a Light in Your Eyes

9. “After their reunion it took all but about a second for every proactive instinct to come over him again, at full force. He had no control over it. He was her father, after all.Of course, more often than not, those instincts were triggered by danger, or impending death.”

-How Time Goes By

10. “Moo.”

-Bovine Mind

11. “"So you're telling me you didn't have birthday cake as a kid?" Peter inquired in half dismay, laughing."No, I never said that." Olivia laughed, "I just said I didn't like it… why are we even discussing this?"”

-Sugar Coated

12. “"So, this sucks." Tyler said, half sarcastically."Does it?" Candace questioned.”

-Now You Know

13. “The sun was just setting in the sky. One of the most beautiful days in a while that the two could remember. Jamie was inside, most likely watching television, and Riley was probably in her room,enjoying the last bouts of her day before it was time for bed. The two of them took great advantage of the peace, it couldn't have been more perfect.”

-Tea and Honey

14. “He rolled over onto his back, feeling the warm presence beside him. Her long brown hair lay across the pillow. She felt his eyes on her.”

-Our Name in the Sand

15. “Have you ever thought of a certain point of your life and wondered, 'How'd I get here, what got me here, and what happened in between?' Or do we even remember what happened in between? Sometimes it all comes together as one big event, and no matter how long it took, feels like it just began.”

-Every Wish Granted

16. “"Mommy, why can't you come tonight?" A small voice asked sadly."I have to work last minute, I am so so sorry, Anna boo. But I promise I will be there tomorrow, besides, your daddy and uncle Nathan are gonna be there for you tonight." Peyton comforted her daughter.”

-Her World

17. “Peyton stared out the fogged up window in the living room, the soft snow falling to the ground, creating just a blanket outside, and hearing nothing but peace. It didn't snow that often in Tree Hill, But when it did, it always amazed her. She never knew why it appealed to her so much, but she always thought it was the peace.”

-When Our Love Brought Peace

~*~* BONUS ROUND of my unpublished manuscripts ~*~*

18* “Jenny puts her phone down on the counter, eyes narrowed in confusion at a knock at her door. She’d just been texting Cassie a minute ago, so who was here?She internally kicks herself when she sees Denise at her door, she opens it to find the woman holding a thick folder, granted, one that she had asked her to bring by.”

-title in progress lmao

19* “The tragedy of their lives wasn't where that initial draw came from. In their world, who wasn't haunted by loss and grief? That draw wasn't even there when he'd met her. At least at first. It developed first with a touch of guilt, intimidated by age. It was one sided though, because she would never let herself be intimidated by him. Or anyone, really. Her intimidation came from moments that would catch her off guard. Sometimes he would, bump against her accidentally and she would curse at herself for the feeling it stirred inside her.”

-Safehouse

I tag whoever has written anything ever and wants to do this. :) I just wanted to embarrass myself today I guess.

#what a humbling experience #if you ever read anything prior to threshold #no u didn't #i deleted a lot of my fringe fic and kind of regret it now but #we go on

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myhockeyworld87 · 4 years ago

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Nervous Regrets - Tyler Seguin - Part 36

Word Count: 2,529

POV: Readed

Warnings: Language, Smut, NSFW

Notes: So I didn’t get a chance to work on NSDL but I did get to finish this one, so I hope you guys enjoy it. I know it’s been a minute since I’ve put out a chapter on this, but I haven’t forgot about this little family. Happy Reading!!!

Nervous Regrets Masterlist

It seemed like everyday Jace grew a little bit more though you never admitted that to Tyler, for he thought he was missing out when he was on the road. Jace was Tyler's pride and joy, not that he wasn't yours but there was just this visible change in your husband when he was around your son. Tyler had always been this carefree and loving guy, and he was still that, but now there was this fierce protectiveness for both you and Jace; especially since the Instagram incident. He was extremely careful of anything he posted, even though you told him it wasn't necessary and really only put up one other picture of Jace when he turned a month old.

What surprised you most was how helpful he was, getting up at all hours of the night with you, even though you told him not too. He needed his rest especially with playoffs coming up, but Tyler would say he wanted to change his diaper and who were you to argue with that. You were grateful for the help and you knew that he wanted those extra minutes with Jace. You'd caught him more than once having a private chat with your son and your heart just melted.

It was six weeks after Jace's birth and you were finally ready to take him to a game. Tyler had another road trip coming up the last long one of the season that was seven days and you knew that taking Jace to one of the home games would make him happy. True to his word, Ty got you a private box, it was one of the smaller ones which was fine and you called Jenna and Andrea, as well as a few of the other women, to see if they wanted to join you. Tyler rode with Jamie so that he could take both you and Jace home afterward.

You picked Jenna up and she rode in the back with Jace. "Oh my god (Y/N), he looks freaking adorable." Jace had on his Seguin Daddy jersey, though you knew Jenna couldn't see the daddy part at the moment. In the couple weeks since you took him to practice, he'd gained a little weight and while the jersey was still a little big it fit much better.

"I think Tyler would kill me if he didn't have that on. I just hope he doesn't spit up on it before the game is over."

"You could always take it off for a bit after everyone sees it of course. Then put it back on before we go down to see the guys."

"Perfect, though I hope he'll be warm enough." You tried to pack everything that you thought you'd need, but you never know.

"Well from the look at his baby bag, you've got more than enough." Jenna was right, of course.

You pulled into the reserved parking for family and entered the arena in the private entrance, avoiding all the crowds. Once you were safely ensconced in the box, you pulled the blanket off of Jace's car carrier. You'd shielded him from prying eyes just in case anyone would recognize the two of you. The three of you were the first ones there but it didn't take long for the other ladies to arrive. Andrea brought Ben Jr. with her and there was a cute photo session of the two little boys in their jerseys. Ben kept grabbing at Jace, who had no idea what to do when Ben's little hands would touch his. It was all so adorable.

As the guys came out for warmups you saw Tyler's head immediately look up to your box and search the two of you out. You had been standing back a bit, but walked down to the front seats of the box, so Tyler could see his son. His face instantly lit up and you moved Jace to your shoulder so that Tyler could see the ninety-one and daddy on the back of Jace's Jersey. The smile on Ty's face grew even wider and you saw him nudge Jamie and point up to the box. As if on cue, the jumbotron switched to you and Jace, as well as Andrea and Ben, and you heard a collective 'Aww' from the crowd that was gathered there. You felt a modicum of comfort in the fact that Ben's little boy was up there with yours and you weren't in this by yourself. It stayed on the two of you for a minute, well really it was more about the babies then you or Andrea, but you breathed a sigh of relief when the shot finally went back to the players on the ice.

Jenna came down then with Jace's headphones as the music got louder and you wanted to protect his little ears. He absolutely hated them on and started crying loudly, which had you taking him back to the interior of the box. "Aww, he really hates those doesn't he?" Alandra asked.

"Yeah, he's not a happy camper at the moment." You tried bouncing him and rocking him back and forth in your arms but nothing was really working. "Could you hand me his pacifier?" Alandra searched your bag; it took a bit and you almost had a panic attack thinking you forgot it when she finally found it. He quieted after a few minutes, his lids growing heavy the longer he sucked on it and you silently chuckled thinking he was kind of like his dad; temperamental until at times until his mouth was on your breasts.

The game started and Jace slept through most of the first and second periods, which meant that he was sleeping through two of Tyler's assists and his delay of game penalty. At intermission time all the girls grabbed pictures with Jace and Ben, and you took one big group picture, which Alandra posted and tagged is as #babesandbabies. It was so incredibly adorable and you clicked the like button immediately. Jace did wake up for the third, where Tyler was able to rack up two more assists both on Radulov's goals. As the period neared the end, you put Jace in the car carrier so you could go down and see Ty after the game.

Jace was wide awake when all the guys came out and of course, they made a fuss over both the kids. "There's daddy's boy," Tyler said as he kissed you then grabbed the carrier, so he could coo over the baby. "Did you have fun, buddy? Were you good for mommy?"

"Well, he wasn't nuts about the headphones at first. We're going to have to start wearing them a little bit at home, just to get used to them." You told Tyler as the two of you started to head out to the car. "Why don't you sit back with him this time and I'll drive. He's pretty awake right now, doubt he'll fall asleep before we get home." Tyler sat in the back and your two boys chatted the whole way home.

"Did you see Uncle Rads' goals that daddy assisted with?" Jace would coo at the sound of Tyler's voice. "I know buddy, daddy got the third star tonight all because you were there to cheer him on." You swear Tyler put in that part so that you and Jace would come to the games more often, which you already decided you'd be at every home game of the playoffs. If Jace would go, you weren't entirely sure just yet, but he would be there at some of them.

Traffic wasn't that bad and you made it home in no time, Jace still awake though, you knew it was only because he needed to be fed soon. You all piled into the house, Tyler taking Jace so that you could play with the dogs a few minutes before feeding Jace. "Sorry about the jumbotron babe, I'll try and remember to tell them next time to not put you guys on."

"It wasn't so bad with Andrea being there. Though I will say I'm a bit nervous about sitting in the family section, but the girls said they'll help out with him if he gets fussy."

"Does this mean you're going to come to the game on Thursday?" There were still two more home games before the Stars roadie happened and you were sure your husband would try his damnedest to get you both there.

"Maybe, we'll see how he does with the headphones tomorrow around the house and then go from there."

Tyler came over to where you were burping Jace and bent down to the baby. "You're going to do great with them tomorrow, right bud?" Jace's little head bobbed on your shoulder and Tyler took that for a good sign.

It wasn't long after that and Jace was sound asleep as you and Tyler crawled into bed, Jace now sleeping in the nursery for the last week, with the dogs guarding him. Even Gerry had taken up a spot under the crib; leaving you and Tyler alone in the master bedroom. Tyler pulled you close to him, his hands sliding up and down your back as he kissed you. Just as it started to get heated, he pulled away. "Don't stop Ty."

"But babe," he mumbled looking at you with a pained expression on his face.

"It's ok Ty. I had my checkup today and we're cleared for everything."

He looked you in the eye as if to make sure you were telling the truth. "I knew you had an appointment but didn't realize it was for that. Like you're sure it's ok? I don't want to hurt you."

"Just go slow."

"I will babe, just say the word and I'll stop." You nodded then went back to kissing Tyler. Your body felt slightly different as Tyler's hands roamed up and down it, and you chalked it up to the fact that the last time you had sex you also had an almost seven-pound human growing inside you. Now you could feel Tyler growing hard against you, where you hadn't felt that in months. His hands tweaked your nipples which were sensitive to his touch and you were a bit freaked out when you let yourself think about the fact that you just fed Jace, but then Tyler's hand stole down to cup your core and those thoughts evaporated. His fingers circled your clit outside your panties and you moaned into his mouth. It wasn't long before you felt yourself grow wet with anticipation of what was to come. You reached between your bodies to fondle Ty's cock through his boxers, letting your hand sneak inside so that you could feel his hard length. He hissed out his pleasure as you pumped him with your hand. The last couple of days when he'd been home you'd given him blow jobs now that Jace wasn't sleeping in your room, but you were excited to have him inside you.

He pulled your panties off you and threw them somewhere in the bedroom, fingers running between your folds as your moans grew louder and louder. Tyler always knew how to get your body excited, something he didn't forget during this six-week hiatus. His lips ghosted down your stomach, which was almost back to normal before they settled on your clit. He flicked and sucked it with his tongue as your body thrashed around on the bed. Carefully he slid one finger inside your wet pussy. "You ok baby?"

"Yes…Ty…keep doing that." You said breathily and he started to pump that finger in and out of your body while sucking on your clit. It didn't take long for your climax to hit. You'd been so keyed up for this moment that just a few strokes from him and your toes were curling as you screamed out his name. "Fuck Tyler that felt so good."

"I missed that so much." He told you as he crawled up the bed to hover over you. You spread your legs a little wider, as he settled between them. "Tell me if it hurts." You nodded and tensed slightly as he lined himself up with your center. He must have sensed your hesitation for his mouth was on yours in seconds, kissing away any tension that you held in your body. The head of his cock nudged your folds and it felt a bit foreign as he entered you. Almost as if it was your first time together instead of what was probably your millionth. He went slow, letting you adjust to every inch until he was fully engulfed in your warmth. There was this familiar stretch once he was inside you and it felt wonderful. His brown eyes looked into yours and all you could see was love in them but yet you knew he was holding back, wanting this to be good for you. "You ok?"

"Yeah…but Ty…" you breathed out and he looked at you all concerned. "Please move." He chuckled, the vibrations going through your body before he carefully slid out just leaving the head inside you. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you pulled him back inside you and the two of you started to build a rhythm. His mouth was on yours kissing and swallow each of your moans.

When your nails bit into his flesh, he groaned at the feeling. "Fuck baby, I'm so close." You were too, and you clutched at him holding him close as he thrust inside you.

"Yes…Ty…yes," you moaned out as your legs started to tremble, the orgasm crashing over you. Your back arched as the euphoric pleasure of your climax took control of you and you spasmed around Ty's cock as he spilled deep inside of you, calling out your name. His arms shook with the force of his climax and even with all his upper body strength, you saw it took everything in him not to collapse on top of you. Instead, he rolled you both onto your sides; his cock still inside you.

"Damn (Y/N), that was amazing." He pecked your lips quickly before pulling back to look at you.

"Well, maybe we should wait six weeks before we do it again."

"Why? Did I hurt you?" A giggle escaped your lips as you were only teasing him, but the look of concern on his face had you sobering quickly.

"Ty, I swear I'm fine. I was just teasing you. There's no reason to wait another six weeks." You took your hand and cupped his cheek. "In fact, we should probably do that again." The fact that you both yawn at that exact moment wasn't lost on either of you.

"Round two, in the morning?" He asked, swinging your leg over the top of his hip as he drew you closer to him. "I love you baby; now, let's get some sleep before Jace wakes up."

"I love you too, Ty." It wasn't long after that, that you fell blissfully asleep unaware of the comment left on Alandra's Instagram post or the direct message that had just been sent to you.

#Nervous Regrets Series #tyler seguin #tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin imagines #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl fanfic #nhl smut #tyler seguin smut #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #hockey fanfiction #hockey smut #dallas stars imagine #dallas stars imagines

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amandaklwrites · 4 years ago

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Movies that changed me or affected me: Rise of the Guardians (2012)

Genre: Fantasy, Children’s/Family

Rating: 10/10

Why this movie changed me in some way:

I just watched this movie again yesterday, the first time in probably a couple to a few years. I didn’t see it when it first came out in theaters, but I saw it not long after the DVD released. Weird backstory: I first watched it when my (then) boyfriend had broken up with me, and I think I felt my heart knitting back together as I watched this movie. I think I watched it quite a few other times in a short period of time. I feel that way again.

Now, just a warning, I may become a bumbling idiot as I tried to explain myself through talking about this movie. It is one of those situations where I’m not sure if I will totally explain myself well when trying to talk about how much this movie means to me. So, I will try my best and I hope it makes sense!

This movie just speaks to my soul.

First off, let’s talk about Jack Frost. Jack. I love this character so much (I will say that it is so weird how we humans can be attracted to an animated character, right??), and his struggles speak to me on a strange level. Not that I died and became a spirit of nature, and I don’t remember my past. Well, actually, maybe? It would make so much more sense, honestly. But anyhow, those feelings he has of being unseen, of wanting someone to understand him, to not feel so alone all the time—my god, does that speak to my soul. And I’m not saying it to be like “oh, boo hoo me,” or to say that my friends and family don’t get me on some level. That isn’t it. Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I was really different, and I could never figure out how or why. But I was. And I’m not kidding, I have felt invisible a lot in my life. There are times when I’m talking to a coworker, and another walks up, interrupts me, and they start talking about something else, so I just slink off and sometimes no one speaks to me again for hours. People have actually told me they forgot I was there. Plus, I have friends, all the time, not respond to my messages, and to a degree, that feels like invisibility in a way too. So, watching this movie about this young man not understanding his place in the world, and trying to figure out why he was chosen, is something I question nearly all the time. I often, very often, think “what am I meant to do here? Why am I here?” (and not in a suicidal way), so I get that. Seeing Jack’s growth as a character, seeing him learn lessons and figure himself out makes me cry every time like a little child because I get it. I get it. But also, I understand one of the things he learns—he finds friends in the guardians by the end of the movie, and that means he just has to find his people. Ones that may not entirely understand him but get him at some level. And that’s what I have been figuring out—who are my people? Because, for the most part, I know who I am and I’m pretty grounded in my personality, but I still stick out like crazy all the time. I’m someone who likes to sit back and watch people, which I think to some degree, so does Jack. He’s a watcher, and he likes watching people (though he does want to be seen, which dude, I GET THAT!), and seeing what humans do. Our humor is similar. I only wish I was less uptight as him, and that’s where our differences lie, and that’s why I feel like I can be in love with Jack Frost without it being weird (like, I’m in love with myself???).

Then, there’s Pitch. You guys, this may be dark and twisted, but I GET PITCH. I always felt like Jack and Pitch were more similar than different, and Pitch represents what Jack could become if he lets his anger fester. Yes, Pitch represents darkness and fear and nightmares (a bogeyman after all), but he wants the same things as Jack, even if they are for the wrong reasons. He’s one of those people that self-destructs when he feels alone and not seen, and he wants to make everyone pay for him feeling that way. My therapist told me a long, long time ago, that I could have become that if I had let myself. But obviously, I didn’t, and I don’t, but my god, I like watching Pitch because that was a path I could have chosen. It is one that is familiar, though disturbing. I felt a lot like that back in high school (which led to a terrible cycle of depression), and I never told anyone but my therapist. Not even my mother. I was just like Jack, heading down the path of becoming like Pitch Black, because I didn’t know how else to turn, to make sense of how I felt. But facing that darkness and fear, you learn what you are capable of. I met with that darkness a few times, and I decided to pull myself away (though, I wish I could have fought it off with some icy powers!). Jack and Pitch’s paths were ones that I knew too well, so those parts of the movie always get to me in some deep ways.

The Guardians! I love these guys! They are absolutely wonderful and I love them way too much. But also, what they stand for hits me hard every time. They are chosen to become protectors, especially of children, but of the magic and wonder of the world. They bring joy, they are there for others, and they are so happy about it. Now, this may sound so, so weird, but all this speaks to me on another level. I am a very spiritual person (in the sense of the connection of everything on the planet, the universe, souls themselves, etc), so there have been many times, since I was a child, that I thought I was here on this earth to give other people joy, to save them, to bring them an escape. It didn’t matter how I felt. I did it for my childhood friends during their worst times, I did it for a couple friends in junior high school, even one of my newer friends compared me to Peter Pan, bringing stories and fun to just help her forget about the world for a while. Sometimes, when I feel really alone (like, my friends aren’t talking me, or some have left me behind or whatever), and I haven’t spoken to a single person for hours or days, I start to think this. And I think it gives me comfort? That though my friends don’t really talk to me or do much, I still throw away that hurt and focus on making sure they’re okay and having fun, and I try to make them laugh when they’re down. No matter how I’m feeling. Friendships have always been unequal since I was a child, and sometimes it bothers me, sometimes it doesn’t. Since I was probably 5 years old, I’ve been telling myself that I’m here to bring others joy, to help them escape from real world problems. Even if no one does the same for me. Which is okay, for the most part. So, maybe that makes me a Guardian somehow? To bring wonder and joy and laughter to the people around me, no matter the cost. I’ve been told I’m a good listener, and I know how to make people laugh when needed, so maybe that is my role in the world. Maybe that’s the point of my existence. I hope this doesn’t sound too weird? I’m not saying all this to make anyone feel bad for me or trying to say that people suck and I’m this perfect person. Cause I’m not, dear god, I’m not at all. It’s just how I have made sense in the world and where I fit. I would like to think that makes me a Guardian like North, Tooth Fairy, Bunny, Jack and Sandman. I would really like that honestly.

The themes in this movie always makes me cry. I see the scenes of the Guardians interacting with children, just to give them a good, happy life while they are children, and I sob as a child. I was one of those huge believers (yes, I will admit it! I still believe in all these guys!), and I have always believed in the magic of the world, even if we can’t physically see them. To me, what else would be the point of living? Their existence is to do this for the children, and to them, it gives them purpose, it brings them joy themselves, and I love that. It’s the same feeling I get when I watch people open presents that I got them and seeing how excited they are. It gives me this elated feeling that I can’t explain—because there’s just absolute joy in their face. I love seeing people when they are just so happy. Bringing joy is entirely something else, and it’s beautiful honestly.

There are little details in this movie that I caught in this movie that got me. The fact that the movie ends with Jack becoming a Guardian, ON A FROZEN POND. Get it? His new beginning starts where he ended, where he died as a human and become what he was meant to become. And whenever Jack lands on a car, the car alarm starts. I would like to think that whenever a car alarm goes off randomly in the middle of the night or day, it’s because something magical that we can’t see (or shouldn’t see?) is moving around. My mom always said that ever since I was a little, little kid, I would see creatures hidden in the corners of our house, I saw people and ghosts, and I would talk to them. So, maybe I��m the weirdo who still believes in magic and that there are beings hidden behind veils that we can’t see all the time, but that’s fine with me. I’ll be like Jamie, telling everyone that the Easter Bunny is coming when everyone else loses faith. I would rather believe in magic than not. I would rather be the person who believes in these magical beings, and though I never see them, I know they are there, rather than just moving along in the world and not noticing the little magics in the world. That may be just me, but oh well. I was called a freak and a weirdo to my face growing up because of this belief, and it didn’t stop me then. It won’t stop me now.

I think you can tell by now how much this movie affected me, changed me. I found this movie at a time when I needed healing, and instead, I had an awakening. I realized so much about myself watching this movie. I feel like my spirit actually moves when I watch it. It’s the strangest feeling, but my god, it makes so much sense to me.

I hope this movie moves you in some way. Or that you have a movie that makes you feel this way. Everyone should.

Also. Don’t stop believing in magic.

#rise of the guardians #jack frost #movies that changed my life #movies that affected me somehow #god i love this movie

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ghost-town-story · 4 years ago

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chazzawrites challenge 26

Day 26. Self promo time! Share a snippet from another project that you’re proud of.

(From Nova, the last chapter of the “intro”. This is so fucking long lol. Like, 4 pages of wall-of-text writing. But I like it so here ya go. Also warning for briefly mentioned/mostly glossed over past torture of a character, if that’s something you’d like to avoid)

Myles Kerrick Lunacen scowled up at the front door of the house. Up until the triplets were five, Myles had been a regular visitor to his childhood home. Of course, that was before the night that changed his life, the night he lost all faith in his parents’ promises to protect him, the night where what had once been a safe place turned into yet another cage.

One minute he had been stumbling home drunk after a night out, the next he was collapsed in an alleyway, a storm swirling around him and what looked like silver blood dripping from his mouth. He had blacked out, and next thing he knew he was strapped down to a chair as people in masks pressed a branding iron to his forearm. The next time he woke was to his father bandaging his arm as his mother prattled on about some exception being made for him. Myles rubbed his left arm as it ached, the pain of that night never really going away just like the brand they had left on his arm.

But despite everything, he could never truly stay away. He loved his little siblings too much, and he felt he had to protect them when their parents would inevitably fail. Especially James. Naïve, unsuspecting James.

Myles assumed his overwhelming urge to be home for breakfast was related to the eldest of his younger siblings, and so as he always did, he sucked up his dislike of his childhood home and let himself in.

He was immediately greeted with the sight of James sliding down the tail end of the banister, only to trip upon landing and crash into Myles.

“Oh f—I’m sorry,” James apologized as he got his feet back under him, only to start as he realized who it was. “Myles!”

“Hey little brother.” Myles ruffled his hair. No wonder this kid had been in so many accidents by the time he was fifteen. Whatever would happen with him, it was bound to be memorable.

“What are you doing here?”

“I can’t visit my little siblings?”

James put his hands on his hips. “Whenever you do, you usually go out of your way to avoid being seen by anybody but us. And if Mom does see you, you two always fight.” His voice was a tad accusatory.

Myles winced. “Take it at face value Jamie, I wanted to be here for breakfast today.”

James scowled. “Oh, I see what’s happening. You’re in the mood for a fight and decided to pick two. The inevitable with Mom and one with me.” A voice called from the kitchen, and James turned on his heel.

“Oh, is that what you think Jay Jay?” Myles really didn’t tease James as much as his other siblings. In part, it was because Myles pitied him for what was to come, but today he decided there would be time enough for seriousness later and that James deserved a little bit of teasing.

James visibly flinched. “Don’t call me that.” All the fight had suddenly left him, and his voice was uncharacteristically quiet.

“What? Why?” Myles was confused by this sudden change in his brother.

James hesitated for a moment, then turned back to Myles, his signature grin on his face. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.” But Myles could see the smile was fake. James was hiding something.

Before Myles could press him further though, James pushed his way through the door into the kitchen. Myles reluctantly followed, making a note to get James alone later to talk.

“James!” When their mother noticed him, she left the stove to fuss over him. “You should be in bed!”

“Mom, I’m fine.” James pushed her away with a grimace.

“Fever and nausea over the whole weekend is not fine.”

“No fever, no nausea, I’m fine Mom. Do you think I’d even try if I wasn’t 100% better? I know you and Dad well enough by now I’d say.”

Myles muffled a snort as James ducked under their mother’s outstretched arm, making a beeline for the fridge. James didn’t even realize how much he didn’t know.

“I’m worried about you James.”

Myles raised an eyebrow. Surely, she couldn’t be thinking he was going to activate soon? Even with the current trend, there was still a few more years until they had to worry. The youngest so far had been twenty, and James was only fifteen.

“Yes, but I’m not a child Mom.” James turned from the fridge with his prize of orange juice. “Plus, if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll bring my tech goggles so I have a way to leave if I start to feel worse again. And Will and Bella will be along to watch me too.”

“Fuck that, I’m not watching James,” Bella snapped as she entered.

“Language, Belladonna,” their mother scolded

Myles couldn’t help but wish that James’s fate had landed on Bella instead. She had the name for it at least.

“Fine then.” James was getting irritated. “Will, then.”

“What am I doing?” Will asked.

Myles was amazed he had remained unnoticed thus far, with more people entering the kitchen as James and their mother argued.

“Watching me today since apparently feeling better doesn’t actually mean shit,” James said.

“Well there’s one good solution,” Will said, snagging the orange juice from James. “Stay home.”

“Fuck all y’all,” James snapped, turning on his heel and storming out.

Myles slipped out after him, ignoring the startled gasp of his name. “What’s got you so peeved off little brother?”

“Don’t you start.”

“I’m just asking.”

There was a pause.

“I’m tired of being treated like I’m delicate.”

“If you were you probably wouldn’t be here.”

James shot him a sidelong glare, and Myles shut his smart mouth.

“Do I get into a lotta dumb situations? Yes. Am I a lot better prepared to deal with dumb situations? Also yes. Am I gonna fall off the roof of a building again? Probably not, but if I do I can fucking teleport away before I actually hit the ground again. Am I gonna get hit by a car? No because I’m not fucking four and don’t know what the fuck is going on and get caught in a vision in the middle of the fucking road. I’m tired of being treated like a fucking child!”

“James, you are only fifteen.”

“I know but I’m smarter than that,” James seethed. “I’m smarter than they fucking think but all they see is the scars left by me learning.”

Something clicked in Myles’s head. “You had a vision.”

James jumped as if burned.

“And that’s why you’re so insistent on going to school today.”

James shook his head. “No. I mean yes—No, my vision had nothing to do with school today, but I have this feeling I need to go. You get what I’m trying to say?”

“Your destiny is coming for you.”

James narrowed his eyes at Myles. “What do you mean by that?”

But before Myles could say anything, they were interrupted by Alexis flying down the stairs and crying out Myles’s name as she jumped into his arms.

“Go grab your stuff little brother,” Myles said as he swung her around. “I’ll walk you to school today.”

James recognized his thinly veiled We’ll talk later, and nodded, disappearing around them back upstairs.

“You didn’t tell us you were coming to visit,” Alexis complained as Myles set her back down.

“It was a last-minute decision,” Myles told her.

“Why did you come home?” It was their mother.

“Felt like it.” And that was, surprisingly, the truth. “I’m going to walk James to school once he gets back down here.”

“James—”

“Is going to go whether you allow him or not, so get over it,” Myles cut her off. Secretly, he was proud that James had almost as much of a rebellious streak as he did.

“There’s no need for him to put himself at risk.”

Myles shooed his little sister off to the kitchen. She didn’t need to, couldn’t hear what they were talking about. “You and I both know he’ll be a risk one day,” he said lowly. “Nothing you do to protect him will stop it. One day, something’s gonna set him off and he’s gonna activate. You want it to be here?”

“There’s less to set it off here,” was his mother’s murmured reply. “And you think I’m not monitoring him whenever he’s home?”

“But why are you protecting him now?” Myles retorted. “He’s only fifteen, he still has a couple more years before we need to worry.”

His mother shook her head.

“No,” Myles said quietly. “No, he’s only fifteen. The youngest so far—”

“Seventeen or eighteen. A rebel.”

“But he’s still too young.”

“Then explain his magic fluctuating more than his visions account for,” his mother hissed.

“I don’t know, why don’t you try asking him?” Myles spat. “Tell him everything, then maybe he’ll be more honest with you and you can get answers. Stop lying to him Allison.”

Myles was pleased at his mother’s wince, but he continued. “James will figure out something’s up soon enough if you keep trying to coddle him more than Will or Donna.”

“You know I can’t Myles.”

“You’re not chipped. They don’t control you. Not like the others.”

“They don’t control you either.”

Myles laughed humorlessly. “I may not have a chip Allison but you still control me. Ever since you fucking tied me down and branded me you’ve controlled me. Don’t fucking try to say otherwise.”

His mother winced again. “Myles, I’m sorry—”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it,” Myles snarled. “Sorry doesn’t excuse the fact you and your people made the decision to brand me, without making sure I’d stay knocked out the whole time, without numbing me up, without anything. Sorry doesn’t excuse the fact that you didn’t give a shit then.”

Any further conversation was cut off as Myles registered something flying towards him and spun aside. He realized it was a messenger bag as it twirled through the space he had just occupied, and he snagged it out of the air.

James came sliding down after it. At the bottom he jumped from the railing, tucking into a roll as he landed. He popped up, a wide grin on his face. “That went better than expected,” he chirped before realizing his mother stood there.

His face fell, but Myles just tossed his bag back at him. “Warn a guy next time you’re about to throw shit at him,” he teased.

“Gotta test them reflexes,” James retorted. He glanced nervously at their mother, who just sighed.

“Have fun dear,” she said. “And be careful.”

“I always try,” James replied, nettled.

“And Myles.”

Myles bristled, baring his teeth in the beginnings of a snarl.

“You know what you’re supposed to do.”

Myles snarled softly, but to his surprise James tugged him away and out the door. Probably didn’t want to lose his tenuously won freedom.

“Easy tiger,” James said as they descended the front steps and made their way to the sidewalk.

Myles meowed, half-heartedly swiping at James, who danced aside.

“Hey Myles?”

“Yeah?”

“I might have overheard a little bit of that conversation.”

Myles stiffened. “How much?”

“Not a lot,” James admitted. “Honestly, just your last bit.” He paused. “What did Mom do to you that she’s trying to apologize for now?”

Myles tugged his brother to a stop and leaned down to look him in the eye. “James, look,” he sighed. “The important thing is to remember that in some ways, you are so much luckier than others.”

“I know that,” James muttered, trying to tug his arm out of Myles’s grip. “That’s not an answer Myles.”

“And in others,” Myles continued, not letting go but letting his grip slip so he was holding James’s left forearm, where his brother already bore the same brand, “your fate is worse.”

James pulled again, and this time Myles let him go. “You’re always so cryptic Myles,” James mumbled, cradling his left arm close.

“I know,” Myles replied, standing straight again. But as he started to walk off again, James didn’t move.

Myles slowed and turned around. “Coming little brother?”

“Myles, can you cut the cryptic bullshit for a minute?” James asked. His voice was quiet, compared to his usual over-the-top antics.

Myles sighed. “I can’t promise anything James.”

James sighed. “What did Mom do?” he asked again. “And what do you guys know?”

Myles decided to avoid that first question. “What do you mean what do we know?”

“You and Mom know something,” James said. “About me. I want to know what.”

Myles knew the kid was more perceptive than their mother wanted to believe. “I can’t tell you.”

“Why not?” James bristled.

“James, look.” Myles stepped closer and lowered his voice. “I’m being watched. Don’t ask,” he headed off the questions he was sure his little brother had. “But, when the time is right, I’ll be able to tell you more. Ask me then. I promise I’m not keeping secrets just to spite you little brother.”

James sighed. “You promise you’ll tell me everything?”

“Promise.”

James nodded. “Alright,” he murmured. “Let’s get going. Before Will and Bella catch up and wonder what we were doing.”

“Wise plan,” Myles chuckled as they continued on their way.

Silence fell for a moment, until James broke it. “I understand if you can’t answer this,” he started.

“More questions,” Myles sighed with a grin, but as James hissed and turned away, he tugged James back to face him. “I’m only teasing little brother. Go ahead.”

James turned away sulkily. “I was going to ask,” he said icily, “if you could explain your destiny comment from earlier.”

“That one I can answer,” Myles said, but as James turned to him hopefully, he scowled. “Don’t get your hopes up kiddo. I was making a guess, that’s all. You’re the one with cryptic prophetic visions and all.”

“But you know, don’t you. What’s going to happen?”

“I have an idea,” Myles said carefully. “But after all, the future’s not set in stone little brother. At least from my perspective.”

“Yeah,” James muttered, his expression subdued as he stared down at his feet.

After a moment, he spoke again. “Myles, can you keep a secret?”

“Of course little brother.”

James kept his eyes down as he spoke. “I don’t think I’m coming home again.”

Myles felt a sharp stab of panic that he tamped down. “Vision?”

“Not really.” James absently kicked at a pebble and watched as it rattled down the street. “But Myles, I’ve never seen any of you in my visions.”

“That doesn’t mean we’re not there James.”

James just hummed.

“But that’s not all, is it,” Myles prompted him.

“I have this… feeling I’m never going to see Mom or Dad or Lexi again.”

“Something’s going to happen at school today.”

“I think so.”

“So why not stay home?”

“I’m not one to run when I’m scared Myles.” James shot his brother a weak grin. “Like you said, my destiny is coming for me, right? I won’t run from it.”

They were outside James’s school now, and the brothers paused. “Besides,” James said, facing Myles, “I have the feeling I’ll get answers sooner if I don’t run.”

Myles caught James’s arm as he started to turn. “Tomorrow. Wherever you end up. Come find me. I’ll be able to explain things more then.” If their mother was right, if James’s visions meant he was going to activate today, then Myles would be free to tell his brother everything after today.

“I’ll try.” James’s smile was sad.

Myles hesitated, but as James was not more forthcoming with words, he reluctantly nodded and let go of his little brother.

James took a few hesitant steps towards the school gate. “Myles?” His voice was quiet and small, so unlike him normally.

“Yes?”

“I lied. Earlier.”

“About?”

“I will see all of you again. But I won’t be the same.”

“Of course you won’t be.”

James’s smile was still sad as he looked at his older brother. “Of course you’d think that.” The scars on his face were thrown in stark relief by the early morning sun, a gruesome reminder of the toll James’s visions had already taken on him.

“James—”

“Goodbye Myles.”

And before Myles could say another word, James turned and dashed into the school.

#writing #in which i write #writersociety #snippets #nova #chazzawrites challenge #writeblr things

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smartguyreviewed · 4 years ago

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2x4 - Dateline

Original air date: Oct 1, 1997

Anyone who was holding their breath for me to get back to this, thank you. Been going through a lot like most people right now but I had to remember this blog is a good distraction because I get to write about one of my favorite shows growing up. Anyways, enjoy. :)

Let’s talk about cock-blocking or to be more gender inclusive...actually, I can’t think of a term similar that utilizes both a male and female part. Anyhoo, let’s talk about it.

I’ve done it (unintentionally). You’ve done it. We’ve all had it done to us as well. Like the night you finally got a chance to be alone with your dipshit crush and your annoying friend tried to insert herself until she finally realized what was going on and left you two alone so you could have your first kiss ever at age 19.

TJ is an extreme cock blocker. He will break your shit up and then pout because he’s still just a kid. Normally, TJ only wants to punish Marcus by enacting this cruel tactic but in this episode, he shifts gears to the person who is both a mother and father to him: Daddy Flody.

We begin this episode at a supermarket. Tj is checking out cereals and Floyd is checking out dat ass.

TJ catches Floyd staring and in his precocious little way, starts asking him questions about women. It kind of reminds me of Frank from Milk Money. which is a horrible movie that I adore and you should watch it because despite a little kid befriending a prostitute, it’s still a decent 90s coming-of-age tale. And Alex DeLarge is in it.

After TJ makes his dad sweat further by asking what body type gets his penis erect, TJ comes to the conclusion that Floyd is lonely and could probably benefit from some female companionship.

Cut to TJ on an unrealistically chatty PC barking at TJ to fill in the boxes for Floyd. I don’t know about you, but if my computer kept talking to me, I’d throw it out of the fucking window. I am so glad websites that talk at you are obsolete. Apparently, this computer is also sentient because TJ pauses for just a moment too long when Marcus comes in and this impatient computer bitch asks for the rest of the info in a more demanding tone.

But because TJ was distracted, he inputs his own height instead of his dad’s and the computer announces that she’s transferring him to their little people’s section. Hey, they gotta find love too!

Marcus is skeptical of why TJ is trying to set Floyd up. Just then, Yvette walks in and asks who is using her eyeliner to write down phone messages, which I totally expect a straight man to do. After fessing up, Marcus asks Yvette to dissuade TJ from setting up his dad. Yvette then uses her soon-to-be psychology degree on Marcus and reasons that he might be a little salty because he doesn’t want another woman to replace his mom. But no, Marcus is a teenage boy and completely lacking depth until certain episodes call for it. Instead, he says he just wants the car on weekend evenings so he can try to bang his latest girl of the week. Of course, he could just be deflecting to avoid a heavy conversation but I’m gonna go with the former because Marcus is the horniest boy on the show.

Yvette decides to help TJ since Floyd has few dating options. Her plan is to beef up his personal ad by making him younger and a fan of soul food and Maya Angelou. Marcus is still not with the shits and says that nobody wants to date an “old guy with three kids.” Completely forgetting about the fact that his dad is an attractive man, this happens instead:

TJ and the gang are now making final cuts on the 130 prospects Floyd had. I mean, that’s great and all but I’m sure at least half of those women were catfishes. Then again, in the 90s, maybe there was more legitimacy since there wasn’t enough technology to hide behind? I dunno. But Floyd definitely has some options.

While deliberating who will receive the clock from Floyd, Marcus makes what would be considered a transphobic comment questing if some of them really are women and how he doesn’t want Floyd to end up like Eddie Murphy. Mo, on the other hand is questing if this is even legal. Mo is a teenage boy and is probably likening it to what Tinder now is: a place to meet horny individuals.

Yvette thinks the ladies are good picks but then begins nitpicking their flaws, among one of them being that one of the ladies has breast implants. Because women who get surgeries to help boost their self esteem apparently don’t deserve love? Yvette is such a hypocrite as we’ll see in the future. Mo then begins taking the rejected pics because he loves older women, especially ones with perceived low self esteem. Just then, Floyd comes in the room and the gang has to cover up their dirty work. Floyd makes a bad joke and then dips out.

They eventually settle on a light-skinned natural woman named Jamie. They agree to meet at the grocery store, sot hat’s where we end up. Marcus is acting like he’s never seen pretty girls outside of school and leaves to spit game at women who just wanna be left alone so they can buy their frozen pizza and wine in peace.

Jamie sees who she thinks is her suitor and immediately is pissed because she, you know, thought she’d be meeting Floyd and not a little boy. Yvette comes over to smooth things over and convinces Jamie to meet Floyd. Well, TJ’s cute face convinced her after she was understandably freaked out. They go to meet Floyd.

Jamie shows up and explains what happened and that she was pre-screened to make sure she wasn’t a guy. Floyd actually even gives her an up and down look before she says she passed! Pretty sure this also wouldn’t go over well today. Jamie and Floyd, however, hit it off and leave to go on a date. When they get back, Yvette and TJ are spying on the new couple to see how it went. Floyd was actually bigging up TJ and talking about how smart he is to Jamie when they got in. Aww. Floyd is proud of his son for hooking him up. Yvette is noticeably annoyed at how he gets all of the credit, but I mean, it was his idea. Yvette just helped him out.

Upon completion of this totally selfless act to get his father some love, TJ is happy at first. Yay TJ! You’re on the right track to becoming a thoughtful human be--

Sike! TJ immediately regrets this decision once he realizes that his father having a personal life means that he won’t see him as much. TJ has a basketball game coming up that Floyd won’t be able to attend now. Yvette offers to take him but it’s not the same because Yvette is a girl and girls aren’t fun. And just like that, TJ the petty, cock-blocking asshole comes back.

The next day, TJ and Floyd are playing basketball when Jamie comes home. Floyd invites her to play but TJ is all like “bitch, wait your turn” and then Floyd puts her on TJ’s team. She then bribes TJ with the food she’s about to cook for them. He agrees but then Jamie and Floyd start flirting because duh. TJ leaves in a jealous fit, upset that this woman he hooked his father up with has the gall to want to spend time with him. He simulates what he wants to do to her body on a bag of Funions.

I have to say though, how long was the frame of this episode? Days? Weeks? Jamie has essentially become their stepmom. She’s even giving Marcus advice on how to treat a girl like a human being instead of a meat popsicle with titties. Yvette and Marcus then leave, allowing Jamie and Floyd their Blockbuster and Chill time with The Preacher’s Wife.

But TJ is a boner detector because as soon as Jamie and Floyd are about to mash faces, TJ whimpers for his pa because he doesn’t feel good. We think Floyd banished him to his room but then TJ comes over and pushes the two would-be lovers apart so he can ruin their night. Jamie eventually decides to leave, even though it’s clear she was holding out in case she could get a piece of Floyd but TJ completely squashed that possibility. Floyd actually whines when Jamie says she’s leaving. Aww. Floyd is lonely. Does TJ care? Of course not.

TJ sounds perfectly fine when he says he’s sorry he ruined the night. Father and son decide to just watch the movie together instead.

The next day at school, Marcus is spitting his game at the girl he went on a date with. Turns out, treating women like actual people has been working well for him! He’s even going on a second date. Yvette comes by to let TJ know that she’s picking him up again. TJ is, of course, pissed because Jamie had come over to the house the night before, albeit dick-less. Yvette has to explain to TJ that when you date someone, the goal is to see them frequently and that he’s the reason their last date sucked. She then shatters Marcus’s dreams by letting him know that Floyd is taking his car on his date. Guess Marcus is gonna have to make out on the bus.

TJ’s lips are all puckered because he’s losing his father to another woman. He’s so distressed that he actually picks a fight with a senior. Mo steps in and literally drags TJ home. No, seriously. He carried TJ like a bag of groceries all the way to the Henderson house during school. Then he transformed into a therapist to get to the root of TJ’s outburst. This is during school hours. Mo skipped school to bring TJ home and give Floyd advice. Mo is amazing.

TJ is playing basketball with himself when Floyd comes in and then he spills that he’s sick of Jamie. Floyd reminds TJ that he’s the one who set them up and I guess TJ didn’t know things would actually change. Now would have been a good time to mention if he feels some way about another woman besides Yvette playing a maternal figure in the wake of his mother’s never explained death. But Floyd does a good job as usual and says this is temporary because when TJ is a teenager, he won’t want anything to do with Floyd. TJ finally stops being a prick and Floyd offers to be careful about how he schedules his time and then continues the basketball game he let Jamie interrupt previously. Aww Floyd. Too bad TJ is probably going to hold onto this for a while because he was giving his dad a lot of shit in the end credits. This isn’t even the last time he does this to Floyd and we never see Jamie again, so I guess it’s safe to assume that TJ killed Jamie.

Things I noticed:

- Can we just take a moment to appreciate how hot Floyd is? How could Marcus ever think his dad wouldn’t be able to attract women?

- This brilliant cover for the gang if Floyd came in during the date deliberation:

- Marcus doesn’t want Floyd to go out on dates because he wants the car to himself on the weekends. He says if Floyd starts going out, he’s making out in the back of the bus. Yvette then says, “No, thanks to Rosa Parks, you can make out anywhere on the bus.” Brilliant retort. I really hand it to the writers of this show.

#smart guy #floyd henderson #tahj mowry #marcus henderson #jason weaver #essence atkins #Yvette Henderson #disney #mo tibbs #omar gooding #TJ henderson

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drunklander · 5 years ago

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Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 502

Watched this episode after winning Wynonna Earp trivia (fuck yeah, The Shit Tickets!) at a bar, put on by a queer af podcast, followed by going to see a queer af movie, and was all ready to get my Beauchamp fix... And it was like oh here’s a taste and a hint that we’re gonna end up in a story line similar to what we’ve already done multiple times, but now on to the menfolk.

For real though, this episode was like an OL greatest hits clip show. It had all the stuff we’ve seen before. A time traveler who wants to go home? Check. Rape PTSD? Check. A man being a dad to a kid who isn’t/might not be his? Check. That same man being the absolute worst? Check. Claire being reckless with future medicine? Check. Townsfolk questioning Claire’s medical knowledge in favor of the local Man of Importance? Check. Jamie trying to be on both sides at once? Check. A villain who seemed to have died the previous season and should have fucking stayed dead? Check.

We’ve literally seen all of this stuff before.

For a show that spent the first part of season two claiming to be a political drama and then last season claiming that they “weren’t political” I see we’re back to just leaning hard into politics that have direct parallels today.

No fucks left to give about the system Murtz is kind of my favorite Murtz. Like this dude spent his whole life living by a code and an oath and was fucked over by the system so many fucking times that he’s ready to just burn it all down. Curious to see how they walk the domestic terrorist vs. freedom fighter line with him for the rest of the season.

Got all excited about the bread title card because yay medicinal mold, but of course, the lead character was relegated to the B story.

Old timey medicine baffles me. Like the fact that bleeding someone was like a catchall remedy boggles the mind.

I feel rull bad for Mrs. Whoeverthefuck though. She tried.

Also, shit like this makes me be like, yo Claire, you sure you wanna stay here? Jamie’s really not all that and a bag of chips. But you do you, boo.

Speaking of Jamie, his hair looks really good. A thousand fruit baskets to the new wig person.

Lulz at Knox thinking the Gathering was about being loyal to king and country. Dummy.

Srsly though, Murtz Valmurtz is really getting under their skin. Is he like the *only* Regulator leader?

The convo between Knox and Jamie is literally as relevant today as it is in the 1770s. But yeah, the show IsN’t PoLiTiCaL.

The fact that fuckers think those at the bottom should be happy with their lot because “lol it could be worse” need to be punched in the face and taken out of power. Stat.

Also any time someone in power talks about civility as a reason not to rise up against injustice, I want to punch them. Because they deserve it.

I want to punch a lot of things.

This whole episode is very Les Mis, tbh.

Literalol at Claire covering dead guy’s face and not his body cavity before Bree comes in.

Aw Bree, why you gotta be a buzzkill? We were cheated of badass Doctor!Claire in S3. Let us have this.

Also, yeah, Claire, Bree’s fucking right. Which you’d think you’d know by now what with alL THE FUCKING TIMES YOU’VE BEEN CALLED A WITCH. AND NOW YOU’RE UPPING YOUR GAME TO LIKE NECROMANCY?!

Also the more she says no one will find out the more annoying it is because *clearly* someone *is* gonna find out and we’re gonna be back on the “she’s a witch!” “I’m not a witch!” “you literally have a dead guy in your closet!” merry-go-round again.

Today in most on-the-nose shots ever: How convenient that Marsali just happens to be doing some butchering right there, right then.

Petition for the show to go full Shondaland and just turn into a backwoods medical drama with Claire and Marsali, and all the others (cough the men cough) can fuck on off.

Tarring and feathering is like the old timey version of #AlwaysPunchAFascist but dialed to 11.

Oh the baggage behind Jamie saying redcoat man will someday wear his scars with honor that none of these fuckers know about...

Ok so clearly the English know that Claire’s a doctor so whenever shit hits the witchy dead dude fan, can we please have a quick resolution and not that dumb af “Claire goes to jail and of course her cellmate is a lesbian because Diana sucks at writing queer characters” nonsense?

Man Jamie is *not* subtle with this convo at the jail. Like Knox is right there and he’s just like hey buddies, I have people and we’re Scottish and y’know how we feel about protecting people vs. obeying the English.

I AM SPARTACUS FITZGIBBONS!

Aaand, naturally, the fuckwit preaching civility is the one to kill a man in cold blood. Rise up, motherfuckers. Rise up.

THANK FUCK ROGER IS A TERRIBLE SHOT BECAUSE IF THAT SQUIRREL DIED I WOULD LEGIT QUIT THE SHOW. RUN AWAY AND BE FREEEEEE YOU PRECIOUS LIL WILDERNESS FLOOFER!

Roger is, and I cannot stress this enough, the fucking worst.

He’s like look how shitty I am at being a soldier but then bitches about having to try to learn. And then he bitches about how dumb it is to shoot at squirrels as if being able to hit a squirrel wouldn’t make hitting a much larger thing, like a man who is shooting back at you, that much easier. And also, how the fuck does he think they get meat to eat? Shooting it, you twatwaffle.

And he’s like so fucking butthurt about being left behind. Like no shit, asshat. You’re bad at being in the past and have made no real effort and you whine a lot and are generally the worst. Of *course* you were left behind. Stop being emo about it and maybe actually try.

“He doesn’t respect me, Bree.” Yeah, no shit. Because you’ve done LITERALLY NOTHING to earn his respect. WHY ARE YOU SO TERRIBLE IT’S LIKE THEY’RE INTENTIONALLY TRYING TO MAKE HIM SUCK.

He also is like butthurt that his wife is a better shot than him when she gets the turkey he misses. How the fuck are we supposed to ship this. Ugh.

#BreeDeservesBetter

Oh Bree, sweetie, Jem won’t get hit by a car, but there are like eleventy million ways to die in the past. Just stick with the “you want to stay with your family” stuff.

Roger clearly doesn’t want to stay and is gonna pull a Fred and make Bree feel bad about wanting to all season, isn’t he. Fahkin’ doucherocket.

“I want to go but I’ll stay for you and look how magnanimous I am as I whine about it and make no effort to acclimate to the time.” Take your martyr card and shove it, Rog.

Shorter Jamie Fraser: “If you stand for nothing, Knox, what’ll you fall for?”

I’m already over Roger singing all the time tbh. Mostly because it reminds me that soon he won’t be able to do that anymore and we’re gonna be subjected to like half a season of him being more insufferable than he already is.

Wait, was Joan already born last episode? Or was there another time jump? Is Marsali preggers with baby #3? I lost track.

I love this scene between Claire and Marsali with my whole heart. Marsali especially.

CAN WE PLEASE JUST HAVE A WHOLE SHOW OF THESE TWO BEING ALL BADASS AND DOCTORY TOGETHER!?

Although, quick question, how fucking long is Claire planning to keep that un-embalmed body lying around in an un-refrigerated surgery/root cellar? Just curious...

Because you know someone’s gonna find it eventually and that’s gonna be a whole to do and I really need to stop being preemptively annoyed at plot lines that haven’t actually happened yet.

And with all this talk of plowshares and swords, I really am going to be singing Les Mis for days...

How long have these biddies been living on the Ridge? The fucking Leoch folks spent like a minute with Claire before they were like yep, she knows what’s up. These folks have apparently been here for months and are like loool, pass. They live in the fucking woods. You’d think they’d be more open to Claire’s brand of medicine.

Omg are they like the accidental antivaxxers of the Ridge?

#VaccinateYourFuckingKids

I mean, Bree, I think there’s some difference between Claire pretending to be a dude doc and telling folks to wash their hands and Otter Tooth.

Season 2 Claire and Otter Tooth on the other hand...

Ok so Jamie needs more men so that means next week is AHS: Beardsley Farm and then maybe (hopefully) instead of being like lol jk you can all go home, it actually goes right into the battle thing. Still not sure if they’re gonna do Roger getting hanged as the mid-season big thingy and then do the Bonnet nonsense in the back half or keep trying to do both of those at once.

Hey, Roger, pro-tip, next time you see Morag MacKenzie, maybe don’t fuCKING MAKE OUT WITH HER YOU FUCKING DUMBASS.

Claire’s totally right about how they should go back. Honestly, they should. But instead of talking with her like Claire is now with Roger, he’s just being all moody about how he’s bad at the past and wants to go back. You’re shooting yourself in the foot, broski.

Oh hey Husband the Quaker. And is that a fellow Quaker named Hunter with him? Are we gonna get Denny and Rachel this season?! Please and thank you that’d be great, I love them.

Murtz talking to his squad is full on Enjolras being like don’t worry fam, Marius will stand and fight with us. His place is there, he’ll fight with you.

The two very different but very similar ways Murtz and Jamie approach being Laird of their squads is fun to explore.

Bree lecturing Claire about changing the future by saving a few backwater hicks like Claire didn’t spend years trying to fucking change all of Scottish history is a bit rich. Like writers, we get it, you’re trying to be like oh snap, wait for the consequences of this bread!science! But like come the fuck on. We sat through all of season two.

“You’re a good dad, you know that?” Oh man, I’m getting that déjà vu about a shitty man getting kudos for being a good dad to a kid as if that negates all of his shittiness.

Oh hey, Bonnet’s back. Clearly we couldn’t have just let him die last season. Gotta drag shit on for longer than it has to. This is the [Outlander] Way.

If they were gonna keep him around as a villain, they shouldn’t have (in addition to all the other reasons) included him raping Bree. Jamie, Murtagh and Bonnet all making choices within and outside of the law to various degrees in order to make their living in the Colonies would be a really interesting contrast. But nope, gotta just go all in. BeCaUsE tHe BoOk.

Also I hate with the passion of a thousand fiery suns the Jemmy’s paternity stuff. Le sigh.

Remember in season one when the show was about Claire and she was in episodes for longer than 10 minutes?

I miss Claire.

#*#outlander starz #outlander 5x02 #drunj!der yells about outlander

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renee-writer · 5 years ago

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Valentine's Day

A/N A one shot in honor of Valentine's Day and the picture on the left hand corner that my brother says looks like they are having orgasms without touching. Enjoy. It is Explicit.😀😀😀

She meet him on Valentine’s Day. He is a substitute teacher for Mr. Abrams second period English class. She comes to pick up Stephanie for her speech therapy and lost her train of thought.

“Hello lass, can I help ye?” She is even more distracted by his Scottish accent in this American middle school. “Lass?” The students start to giggle.

“Oh sorry. I am here to pick up Stephanie Ford for her speech therapy.” She finally finds her voice. Lord lass, no one would believe you are a speech therapist? What is wrong with you? You have seen attractive men before. He is very attractive with chestnut curls that flow down his neck and absolutely startling blue eyes. Even sitting, she can tell he is tall. But still.

“Stephanie?” She stands with her face red from being singled out in the middle of whatever is going out between Miss Beauchamp and Mr. Fraser. She walks to the front of the room and nods at Mr. Fraser before dunking at the door.

“Well, it was nice to meet you,” she pauses, allowing him to give his name.

“Jamie Fraser.” He offers her his hand.

“Claire Beauchamp. Speech Therapist believe it or not.” His hand is warm and strong and starts her heart pounding. After what felt like an eternity but couldn’t have been more then a few seconds, he releases it.

“Nice to meet ye.” They eyes hold and lock for a moment and a small titter raises from the students behind them. She recalls time, place, and the fact that Stephanie awaits here. She turns towards the class.

“Be nice and respectful to Mr. Fraser. Recall who you are.” She instructs them before slipping out the door.

Good God! Who was that lass? It takes him a few minutes to be able to focus again once she leaves. Nothing even close to this had ever happened to him. He was goobersmaked. Speechless. Unable to think on anything but the electric shock that went through him when their hands touched or the way her eyes, warm as whisky, seemed to see into his soul.

“Mr. Fraser?” It is Lynn, one of Mr. Abrams more gifted and studious students. “Should we return to reading the balcony scene?”

Right. The balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet, in honor of Valentine’s Day.

“Oh yes. Please do.”

“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” Tomas', reading for Romeo declares. “What does he mean Mr. Fraser?”

“That Juliet is out of bounds because she’s a Capulet and the swore enemy of his family but, that her name means naught in the face of true love.”

The children continue to read as he continues to think. What is in a name? Claire. Sorcha. Light.

She sits in her room at the end of the day. She is to be going over the notes from todays sessions but in reality, is thinking of Mr. Fraser. She twirls her pen around as she appears to be looking down at her hand written notes. She in reality, sees nothing but his blue eyes. She sighs as she reaches out to turn her computer on so she can enter them in each student's file.

“Hello.” She jumps knocking one of the files to the floor. “Sorry. Dinna mean to startle you.” He hurries in to help her gather it up and their eyes and hands meet again. Once again, time stops.

“What is this?” She finds the breath to ask him. It feels like she is underwater and all is in slow motion with the only oxygen available being in her lungs.

“I dinna ken. I have ne' felt anything like it.”

“Please, will you stay long enough for me to get these notes in the computer?”

“Aye Claire. There is nowhere else I want to be.” She is able to draw a deep breath as she gathers up the spilled pages and looks away.

She forces herself to focus as she types in note after note. Jamie walks around the room. Finally after no more then a half hour, she is done. She looks up and he is right there.

“Jamie!” She stands and he is just a hair's breath away.

“Claire,” His hand come up to move her hair out of her eye.

“Not here. I live just a ten minute drive away.”

“Okay.” They walk out together, careful not to touch until they reach her car.

E only wished to see her, to see if what he felt in that classroom was real. No, that isn't strong enough. He is compelled to see her. He knew as soon as he walked into her room, and he saw her sitting there, that curly hair falling out of the bun it was in, that he was in trouble. The type that can either leave to heaven or hell. As soon as he meet her eyes, saw the same wonder there, he knew it would be the former.

The want of her is a living thing, and make no mistake, but it is far deeper then that. His hands shake as he opens her car door and as he joins her.

“It isna just me?” He knows but he needs to hear it from her.

“No, and it isn’t just sex.”

“Thank Christ!” Their combined laugh has a tone of hysteria. It should scare him. This whole thing should, but it doesn’t. It thrills him. It seems he is in the middle of something above himself. Something predetermined before Creation.

She drives with one hand. The other is in his. It helps keep her grounded when she feels like floating away. They should be talking, getting to know something about each other, but it almost seems sacrilegious to break what feels like a holy quiet. They talk with their clasped hands, making love without making love.

She pulls up and parks and he is out the door, opening it for her. She looks at him, and all she can't say is in that glance. It knocks the breath out of him. He staggers back a bit until she takes his hand and leads him to the door. She gets it open and they are inside. The rest of the world fades away.

He has had sex since he was 16 but until joined with Claire, he had never made love. He feels the difference as soon as he takes her lips which is as soon as the door shuts. He feels the shivers go through her and knows she feels it too. He holds her close, because he must and because he feels they will both fall if he doesn’t.

She moans into his mouth as she urges him to move. Leading him, quite literally, by the lips, she brings them both into her bedroom. Once there, she moves away and starts stripping. She kicks her shoes off, unbuttons her blouse and slips it off, and then her bra. It is at this point Jamie awakes from the daze he is in and starts to strip himself.

What is she doing? She respectful, responsible, Claire Beauchamp, doesn’t have sex with a man she had just meet. She is too careful and safe for such a move. She doesn’t stop stripping even as those thoughts run through her mind.

He is not one for meeting and bedding, lasses. He had ne' done this in his life. But, the want of her was something beyond his normal self control. It is a living thing. As necessary to his and her, continuing existence, as breathing.

She lays on the bed as soon as she is completely nude. Like a siren, she beckons him without a word. He joins her and takes her lips again. They both moan and sigh at the feel of being skin to skin. Her hands work across his back and down to his bum. His down her neck and chest. Her gasp keeps him focused there. He works his lips down, gently sucking and licking until he reaches her breasts. He tight grip on his bum and her cries of pleasure, keep him there until her body moves very deliberately across his.

She is coming apart. The feel of him on her breast, that sweet mouth sucking her deep inside is the most incredible thing she had ever felt. She needs more. So, she does something else completely out of character, she rolls him over and slips on top of him. Then she takes him in hand and slips him into her.

They both gasp at the feel. It is dumb. She is on birth control but knows nothing about him. To take him without a rubber is the height of insanity. But, this whole things feels insane. She starts to rock gently back and forth, feeling the orgasm build.

He is shocked at her boldness. He says a quick prayer that she is on birth control before letting the feel of her, wet and loose, surround him. He grabs on to her waist as she starts to rock. God help him! He is going to cum like never before. He must make sure she gets there first.

She jerks when she feels his thumb on her, pressing against her clit as she rocks faster. Her breath is coming in short burst and she feels her heart pounding against her ribs. It builds like a tidal wave and, just like that wave, it takes her over. She cries out as her body tightens around him. The shivers are massive and take her strength. She collapses on top of him, as boneless as a jelly fish. She feels his hands tighten around her before he takes over the rhythm. She holds him close as it builds up again. This time she goes over the edge with him.

“How do you know I am not a horrible person?” he asks her as they lay breathless side by side after.

“You may well be but, it is far to late Jamie Fraser, for whatever else you are, you are also mine.” He smiles broadly at her declaration. He rolls on his side and rests his head on his elbow as he stares at her. “For that matter, how do you know I'm not?”

“Are you lass? I hope not for you hold my heart in your hands.”

“I never used to believe at love at first sight. Lust yes. But, I always thought love needed time to grow.”

“Now?”

“Well now, I believe in both for I have experienced both with you.”

“It will grow. As we get to know each other more. But I already know the most import thing.”

“What is that?”

“That I will grow old with you.”

They are married a year later, on Valentine’s Day.

The End.

#my writing #outlander fanfic #jamie and claire #cannon divergence #outlander fandom #modern au #valentines day #very explict #one shot

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antiadvil · 5 years ago

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Roses are Red

summary: Dan wants to buy his best friend Phil an anonymous rose, and also maybe confess his feelings. The problem? Phil is the one selling the anonymous roses.

Luckily, PJ has a plan.

rating: PG13

word count: 3.7k

a/n: this is for @flymetomanchester as part of a valentine’s day fic exhange! additional thanks to @itsmyusualphannie and @sudden-sky for betaing and hyping me up throughout the writing process.