#Jake is a very flexible man

[den-ai-d]

Rattlesnakes are cool🐍💥💥💥

Fan art for @/Max_Draws_Stuff dilfy snake gijinka on twitter. Keep reading for the original tweet the design comes from!

[itendtothinkalot]

in this economy? (part 2)

summary: you needed money. he needed a fake girlfriend. easy deal, right? except he’s your best friend’s boss. and you’re one minor inconvenience away from setting something on fire. he’s cold, rich, emotionally unavailable. you’re loud, broke, and very good at pretending this isn’t slowly turning real.

genre: fluff | fake dating

characters: ceo!heeseung x f! broke ass reader

words: 11k???

warnings: implied sex

part 1

"Where's Jake?" you asked, dropping your bag onto the seat in front of Heeseung’s desk like you owned the place.

He didn’t glance up from his computer. “He has a meeting. I sent him on my behalf.”

You blinked. “Wait. You actually trust him to speak on your behalf?”

Heeseung paused, then looked up slowly. “Not really. But the board finds him charming and impossible to argue with, so it balances out.”

“Huh.” You nodded thoughtfully. “Dangerous skill set. Should be illegal, honestly.”

You hesitated for a beat, shifting your weight between your feet.

“Then… should we still continue?” you asked. “I mean, without Jake hovering and directing us like a deranged drama teacher. I can come back in an hour. Or tomorrow. Or never. I’m flexible.”

Heeseung raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to the pantry to steal bread, aren’t you?”

Your mouth opened. Then closed. Then opened again.

“I—”

“There’s some over there,” he said, cutting you off with a tired sigh, nodding to a neat tray sitting on a side table near the window. “You don’t have to steal them anymore.”

You stared at him.

He looked back at you, completely unamused.

“You stocked bread for me?”

“No,” he said flatly. “They were already there. I just didn’t bother to hide them.”

Your lips twitched. “So… a passive offering.”

“More like preemptive damage control.”

You crossed your arms and tried not to smile. “You’re being oddly considerate today.”

“I just don’t want crumbs on my conference table again.”

“I make no promises.”

Heeseung exhaled, returning to his screen.

You walked over to the tray, took a roll, and sat down in the chair across from him like it was the most natural thing in the world.

And somehow… it kind of was.

The two of you had, against all odds, managed to fall into a kind of rhythm.

Heeseung sat at his desk, typing away at some high-stakes corporate proposal with the focus of a man trying to win a war. His jaw was tense. His posture perfect. Not a single hair out of place.

You, on the other hand, were curled up on his couch—yes, the very expensive, probably Italian-imported couch in the corner of his office—laptop balanced on your thighs, working on a university assignment that made you question all your life choices.

It had been relatively peaceful.

Until you sighed.

Again.

For the tenth time.

Loudly.

Heeseung’s fingers paused on the keyboard. He let out a groan, leaning back in his chair. “Can I help you?”

You didn’t look up. “No.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You’ve sighed ten times in the last fifteen minutes.”

“I sigh when I’m tired,” you muttered, chin resting in your palm. “It’s a coping mechanism.”

“Then maybe you should be concerned for my well-being.”

He rolled his eyes, but there was the tiniest upward twitch at the corner of his mouth. “You know, most people who use my office do it for meetings. Business. Work.”

“I am working,” you said, lifting your laptop like a trophy. “This is an academic battlefield.”

He snorted softly. “Right. And I assume the heavy sighing is your war cry?”

“Correct.”

You slumped further into the couch, dramatically over-exaggerating your next exhale.

Heeseung shook his head, mumbling something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like unbelievable, but he didn’t kick you out.

Instead, he turned back to his screen.

And you kept sighing.

Maybe a little louder this time—just for fun.

You were trying. Truly. Every ounce of effort was going into keeping your eyes open.

But the soft whir of the air conditioning, the muffled clicks of Heeseung’s keyboard, and the dangerously plush couch—the one you swore had memory foam meant for seduction—were all working against you.

You blinked. Once. Twice. Your screen blurred. Your head dipped.

And then you were gone.

Curled up awkwardly, slumped to one side, your head tilted off the edge of the couch like gravity had given up. Your mouth parted slightly, and one arm hung limp off the cushion, fingers twitching like they were still trying to finish a sentence.

Across the room, Heeseung didn’t notice right away.

But then the silence hit.

No more sighing. No muttering. No passive-aggressive typing.

He finally looked up from his screen.

You were fast asleep. In his office. On his couch. With your mouth open.

And somehow… you still looked soft. Small. Asleep in a way only someone who was truly exhausted could be—your guard down completely for the first time since he met you.

His brows lifted, surprised at the sudden pang in his chest.

He set his pen down. Sat back in his chair.

Then, after a moment, he rose—slowly, quietly, as if not to wake you.

He crossed the room, footsteps soundless against the carpet. For a beat, he just stood there, gazing down at you. Your breath was steady, lashes resting against your cheeks, hair a little messy from where you’d burrowed into the armrest like it owed you comfort.

Heeseung let out a small breath of amusement. Shook his head. Then, before he could talk himself out of it, he shrugged off his jacket.

It was still warm from his body. Crisp and dark and clearly expensive.

But without a second thought, he leaned down and draped it over your sleeping frame—gentle, careful. He adjusted it around your shoulders, tucking the edge around your knees like someone who’d done this before. Like someone who wanted you to stay warm.

His fingers hovered at your wrist for a second too long.

He didn’t know when it had started—this quiet shift inside him. This tug. This softness.

You mumbled something in your sleep and shifted slightly under the jacket, your nose scrunching the way it always did when you were annoyed.

Heeseung smiled. Not the amused kind. Not the forced, polite kind he used at business meetings.

He watched you for another beat, hands back in his pockets now, expression unreadable save for the faint flicker in his eyes.

“…Don’t drool on the couch,” he murmured softly.

Your breathing had evened out. The room was quiet. Peaceful, even. But then your head shifted.

Just slightly at first, a twitch in your sleep—then more. A slow, inevitable tilt toward the edge of the couch cushion. Your cheek slipped against the fabric, your entire upper body beginning to slide.

Heeseung caught you before gravity could win. His hand shot out, steadying the side of your head, palm cradling the curve of your temple with surprising gentleness.

He froze.

Your hair was soft. Your skin warm against his fingers.

You stirred at the contact, brows twitching, and he held his breath.

If he moved you too suddenly, you'd wake up. And as much as he'd pretend it was to avoid the awkward explanation, a small part of him didn’t want to see that shift in your eyes—the one where you’d go from relaxed and unguarded to self-conscious in a flash.

So, he didn’t move you.

Instead, with a barely-there sigh, Heeseung sat down beside you. Slowly. Carefully.

And with a hesitant, almost unsure motion, he tilted his shoulder toward you, easing your head against it.

You didn’t stir.

He relaxed, just slightly, settling in. One arm resting loosely behind you on the back of the couch, the other propped on his leg. Your head fit there like it belonged—heavy, warm, grounding in a way that made no logical sense to a man who built his world out of logic.

He turned his head just enough to glance down.

You were still sleeping. Peacefully now, your lips parted, breath brushing the fabric of his shirt.

He shouldn’t have let this happen.

This wasn’t part of the contract. This wasn’t strategy. This was something else entirely. Something real. And that was dangerous.

But… he didn’t move.

Didn’t want to.

Minutes passed. Long enough for the hum of his computer to fade into background noise. Long enough for the warmth of your body to seep through the layers between you.

Eventually, without quite meaning to, Heeseung's head drifted sideways.

And rested gently against yours.

His eyes closed.

Sleep tugged at him.

And before he could tell himself this was a terrible idea, he was out too.

—

“Uh… Mr. Lee?”

The voice was hesitant. Too hesitant.

Heeseung stirred with a low breath, one hand coming up to rub the sleep from his face. His neck ached. His back cracked. His eyes were still half-closed, vision blurry from the impromptu nap—until the shape beside him shifted ever so slightly.

Warmth. Weight. Soft hair against his collarbone.

You.

Still asleep, head nestled against his shoulder, one hand curled lightly near his chest, your body tucked close to his side like you’d been there all along. Your leg had, at some point, slid across the cushion, half draped over his. His jacket—his expensive, custom-tailored jacket—was still wrapped around you.

And you looked peaceful.

Which made it worse.

His breath caught, muscles going rigid. He moved the tiniest bit and—

Your head shifted.

Rested more firmly against him.

His eyes widened. He froze.

The sudden, horrifying realization of his current position crashed down on him like a second cup of scalding coffee: He was on a couch. In his office. Asleep. With you.

His fake girlfriend.

His hired, bread-stealing, chaotic fake girlfriend.

He didn’t even have time to process the panic beginning to crawl up his throat before a second voice—a louder one—cut through the awkward silence.

“SEUNG!”

A loud clap echoed through the room like a gunshot.

Heeseung flinched violently. You jerked awake with a muffled yelp, nearly toppling off the couch in the process.

Jake was standing near the door, clutching his tablet awkwardly like it was a shield. His expression was half amused, half frozen in I’m witnessing something I should absolutely not be witnessing panic.

And behind him—

Grandpa Lee.

Cheerful. Smiling. And very observant.

Heeseung sat bolt upright, his shoulder cold from where your head had been. You blinked up at the room in confusion, your hair a mess, his jacket slipping off one shoulder.

Your eyes met Jake’s first.

Then Grandpa’s.

Then slowly—painfully—Heeseung’s.

There was a long, horrible silence.

Jake cleared his throat. “I—I knocked. I definitely knocked.”

You looked at Heeseung, wide-eyed, still half-asleep. “Did I… drool on you?”

Heeseung said nothing.

Because yes.

Yes, you had.

Right on his dress shirt.

He ran a hand down his face.

Grandpa Lee took one look at the scene—the two of you crumpled on the couch, the jacket, the disheveled closeness, the obvious, inarguable evidence of intimacy—and clapped again.

Grandpa Lee took one look at the scene—the two of you tangled on the couch, his grandson’s jacket wrapped around your shoulders, your face still warm from sleep, Heeseung looking like he’d rather melt into the floor—and clapped again.

This time in absolute delight.

“Well, well, well!” he beamed, eyes twinkling. “So this is the girlfriend I’ve been hearing about.”

He wiggled his eyebrows with the energy of a man half his age and immediately began making his way across the room—eyes fixed on you like you were a prize to be claimed.

Unfortunately, the coffee table had other plans.

He bumped into it with a grunt, then made an awkward shuffle-waddle between the corner of the table and the armrest of the couch, muttering something about how “the furniture in this place keeps shrinking.”

You panicked.

Immediately sprang to your feet like someone had launched you out of a cannon.

“Hello! Mr. Lee!” you blurted, practically diving over the armrest to intercept him before he got too close to your nap crime scene. You stumbled slightly as you landed, pushing your hair back and straightening your posture in one frantic movement. “It’s, um—it’s so nice to finally meet you!”

You stuck your hand out stiffly. Firm grip. Friendly smile. Crisis mode: activated.

He took your hand with both of his, beaming. “My, my, my. You’re prettier in person than the way Jake described you.”

Your eyes snapped to Jake, who was hiding behind his tablet and mouthing I’m so sorry while also very clearly not sorry at all.

You turned back to Grandpa Lee, cheeks on fire. “Ah—thank you, sir. I—um—I really wasn’t planning to… meet you while half-asleep on Heeseung’s couch but—”

You laughed. A bit too high-pitched.

Heeseung made a strangled noise behind you.

Grandpa Lee chuckled. “Oh, don’t worry about that. You’re the first girl I’ve seen knock him out cold. Must be doing something right.”

Your soul left your body.

You smiled, borderline delirious now. “Right. Yes. That’s me. Doing things right.”

Grandpa leaned in slightly, peering at you with amused affection. “You call him Seung, huh?”

You blinked. “Sorry?”

“You called him Seung in your sleep,” Jake chimed in unhelpfully from the corner.

Heeseung let out a sharp exhale. “Jake.”

“I just thought it was cute,” Jake said, shrugging.

“I—I must’ve been dreaming!” you blurted, your laugh high and awkward as you fidgeted with the sleeves of Heeseung’s jacket still wrapped around you. “Dreams are wild, right? Who knows what they mean. Crazy subconscious stuff—anyway!”

Your eyes lit up suddenly, and you reached out, gently grasping Grandpa’s forearm. “Grandpa Lee, have you eaten yet? You must be so tired after all the traveling. I should’ve asked earlier—do you want some tea? Water? Should I—should I find someone to bring you something?”

His eyes crinkled, delighted. “My, oh my. A girl with so much manners.”

He gave you a fond pat on the back, then turned immediately to Heeseung, his face dropping into theatrical disapproval. “You little brat.”

Heeseung, still half-seated on the couch, blinked. “What?”

Grandpa raised his cane with flair, like a sword in a historical drama. “Why aren’t you the one taking care of me?”

“I—I didn’t know you were coming today—”

“She’s the one asking all the thoughtful questions,” Grandpa interrupted, gesturing toward you with a dramatic swing of his cane. “Why aren’t you ever this considerate? Huh?”

Heeseung opened his mouth to respond. Closed it. Looked mildly offended. “I pay for your full-time driver, your concierge doctor, and the personal chef who makes your weird seaweed soup every Tuesday.”

“And yet,” Grandpa sniffed, crossing his arms, “she asks me if I’ve eaten. That’s love. That’s care. That’s human decency.”

You tried very hard not to laugh, smoothing your hair nervously and reaching to help Grandpa steady himself when he shifted his cane.

He gave your hand a squeeze.

“You’re very sweet, dear,” he said, looking at you like you’d just personally renewed his faith in humanity. “If Seung doesn’t treat you well, I’ll disown him.”

You turned pink. “Oh—thank you, sir. He’s been… very kind.”

Behind you, Heeseung made a sound halfway between a sigh and a groan.

You turned to glance at him, and just for a second—just one—his usual blank expression cracked.

There it was.

A barely-there smile.

Small. Subtle. But real.

It disappeared the moment you made eye contact.

He looked away with a mutter of, “He’s going to be insufferable about this for weeks.”

But he didn’t stop smiling. Not completely.

And when you turned back to Grandpa, still fussing over whether he needed tea or a cushion or someone to call his driver, Heeseung just watched you quietly.

With a look that wasn’t quite annoyance.

Not quite amusement.

Something else entirely.

Something dangerous.

—

Somehow, without quite meaning to, you’d been swept into the strange, chaotic current of the Lee family dynamic.

Jake had left hours ago—after giving you a dramatic, drawn-out farewell like he was being shipped off to war and not just heading back to his apartment. You’d waved him off, chuckling under your breath, unaware that the moment he was gone, you were being voluntarily held hostage by a rich, meddling grandfather and his emotionally-repressed grandson.

“I insist,” Grandpa Lee had said, gripping your hand like a man on a mission. “Come to dinner. We’ll order something good. I’ll show you pictures of baby Heeseung. You’ll love it.”

You had tried, really tried, to politely decline.

But the man begged.

Not gently. Not in passing.

He begged—with wide eyes and dramatic sighs and the kind of wounded expression only grandfathers and veteran actors could pull off.

You couldn’t say no.

You weren’t heartless.

Not even if he was filthy, stinking rich and had an estate large enough to qualify for its own postal code.

So now here you were.

Entering the Lee family home like you’d been there a thousand times, when in reality, you were still trying to figure out if this entire week was an elaborate fever dream.

“Careful now,” you said gently, your hand looped around Grandpa Lee’s arm as you helped him up the front steps. “We can go slowly, no rush at all.”

“Oh, you’re an angel,” he replied, letting you guide him toward the front door like you were escorting royalty. “You’re much gentler than my useless grandson. That boy leads me around like I’m made of bricks.”

You laughed softly. “Well, you’ve only got one pair of knees, sir. I intend to make sure you keep them.”

He chuckled, clearly pleased.

Behind you, Heeseung followed a few steps behind—quiet, one hand shoved into his pocket, the other holding the door open as he watched the two of you walk ahead like old companions.

He should’ve been annoyed.

His grandfather was clearly laying it on too thick, pushing boundaries, dragging you into family traditions you had no business being part of.

But instead…

Heeseung just watched.

You, glancing over your shoulder to flash him a smile that was too real for a fake girlfriend.

His grandfather, soaking up your attention like sunshine and already asking if you liked kimchi stew or preferred something mild for dinner.

And Heeseung?

He thought about how much he could get used to this.

—

The dining room table could seat twelve.

Twelve.

Twelve humans.

Maybe fourteen if two of them were toddlers and didn’t mind elbow contact.

You sat across from Heeseung, quietly chewing your food like a peasant at Versailles, trying not to let your eyes dart around the room every five seconds. But how could you not? The chandelier above you looked like it belonged in a royal ballroom. The dinnerware probably had a net worth higher than your student loans.

God, his house was huge.

You were ninety-nine percent sure there was an echo in the room. The soft jazz playing through hidden speakers? Offensively classy. You were half-expecting someone to walk out offering you a wine list in French.

The fanciest place you’d ever eaten was Cheesecake Factory. Once. And Jake had paid.

Meanwhile, here you were being served short ribs plated on imported porcelain while pretending to be the loving girlfriend of Lee Heeseung, Seoul’s most emotionally constipated tech prince.

Heeseung, for what it was worth, sat beside you with practiced ease—perfect posture, calm expression, cutting his food like it was being filmed for an etiquette manual. But every now and then, his eyes flicked toward you.

And lingered.

Just for a moment.

Grandpa Lee, of course, was in full host mode. Reclined at the head of the table, wine glass in hand, looking positively smug.

“So,” he said, pausing mid-chew, “how did the two of you meet?”

You stiffened.

Heeseung paused, fork in midair.

Oh no.

This was it.

The fake dating interrogation.

“Ah—” you began, immediately kicking Heeseung under the table for backup.

“She was…” Heeseung started slowly, eyes shifting toward you. “She was at a café.”

You nodded quickly. “Right! I was getting coffee.”

Heeseung added, “She spilled it.”

“On myself,” you confirmed, gesturing vaguely at your shirt like it still bore the evidence. “Scalding hot latte.”

Grandpa raised an eyebrow. “Romantic.”

You pressed on. “And he—Heeseung—offered me napkins.”

“Nine of them,” Heeseung said flatly.

You turned to him, surprised. “You remember the number?”

He blinked. “It was excessive.”

Grandpa watched the two of you like a cat watching goldfish. “And then?”

“And then we started talking,” you said quickly. “And he—um, he helped me order a replacement drink because I was too embarrassed to go back to the counter.”

Heeseung cleared his throat. “It was a weirdly long line.”

“But he waited,” you said, and then—before you could stop yourself—smiled a little. “He didn’t have to, but he did.”

There was a pause.

A beat longer than necessary.

Heeseung looked at you.

You looked at him.

And something about the way your smile lingered—soft, a little grateful—made his chest feel strangely warm. He swallowed.

You quickly turned back to Grandpa, cheeks hot.

“So, yes,” you said, stabbing your fork into your rice like you were sealing the story with a signature. “That’s how it happened.”

Grandpa sipped his wine, clearly amused. “Hmm.”

“You don’t believe us?” you asked, trying not to panic.

“I do,” he said easily. “Too many details. Real liars don’t share numbers. Nine napkins? That’s commitment.”

You nearly exhaled in relief.

Then, out of nowhere, Grandpa added, “And I saw the way he looked at you just now.”

You froze.

Heeseung did too.

The room went quiet.

“I’ve known that boy since he was born,” Grandpa said, setting his wine down with a quiet clink. “He doesn’t look at people like that.”

Your throat tightened. “Like what?”

“Like he forgot he’s supposed to be faking something.”

You blinked. Slowly.

Heeseung didn’t say anything. But you could feel the tension in his shoulders, the shift in the air beside you.

And then—suddenly, quietly—his hand brushed yours under the table.

Just for a second.

Just long enough to ground you. To say yeah, that wasn’t planned either.

You didn’t pull away.

And you didn’t speak.

But you felt it.

“Oh.”

The room had settled into a strange kind of stillness.

Not uncomfortable—just quiet. Like everyone was waiting for someone else to speak.

You kept your eyes down, gently prodding the last piece of rib on your plate, pretending your heart wasn’t doing tiny somersaults over the fact that Heeseung’s fingers had just brushed yours under the table.

Grandpa, of course, was not one to let silence win.

He set his glass down with a soft clink, leaned forward slightly, and said, with all the casualness of a man dropping a bomb:

“You know, I’ve never seen him like this before.”

Your fork paused mid-motion.

Heeseung visibly stiffened beside you.

You blinked up at Grandpa. “Like what?”

“So… attentive,” he said, as if that explained everything. “My grandson doesn’t just give away his jacket. That thing is practically stitched to his body. I've seen him wear it through a snowstorm. And yet, what do I find? Him curled up next to you, jacket draped over your legs like he’s your personal butler.”

You choked slightly on your rice.

“Grandpa,” Heeseung muttered, eyes narrowing.

But the older man wasn’t finished.

“And don’t think I didn’t notice,” Grandpa continued, pointing his chopsticks at Heeseung. “In the car—on the way back—you turned up the temperature. Just a notch. Quietly. Barely moved a muscle. But I saw you glance at her first. Just once.”

You flushed, your heart tripping over itself.

You had shivered once in the back seat, barely even noticing it yourself. But apparently… he had.

Grandpa leaned back in his chair, smiling like he had just solved a particularly satisfying mystery. “He’s never done that. Not for anyone. And let me tell you, this boy’s been around people his whole life—business deals, charity galas, matchmaking setups I’ve dragged him to. You name it.”

He turned to you, gentler now. “He’s polite, always. But attentive? No. Never. Not unless it’s something that matters to him.”

You blinked. Swallowed.

Across from you, Heeseung was uncharacteristically still.

His jaw was tense, eyes downcast, but something had shifted in his face—something softer, quieter. Like he was letting the words sink in too.

You didn’t say anything at first. You couldn’t.

The room had gone warm. Not from the heat. From the weight of what Grandpa had just said.

And what it meant.

You glanced at Heeseung.

He looked up, met your gaze.

And for the first time all night, neither of you needed to say anything at all.

—-

Dinner had ended… eventually.

The plates had been cleared, the wine glasses refilled twice, and Grandpa had officially shifted into storytelling mode—arms waving, voice animated, eyes twinkling with the kind of energy only decades of mischief could supply.

You hadn’t said much.

You just sat there, chin resting on your hands, smiling as you listened. And oh, the stories. Stories about little Heeseung—piano recitals gone wrong, failed lemonade stands, a brief but passionate phase where he thought he could become a magician.

You laughed. You giggled. At one point, your eyes welled up from how adorable it all was.

Across the table, Heeseung looked like he was deeply regretting ever being born.

“Was he always this serious?” you asked, voice light.

Grandpa barked a laugh. “Serious? That boy once cried for an hour because someone stepped on his sandcastle. Age twelve.”

Heeseung groaned. “Can we not—”

But it was already 11 p.m. by the time the laughter began to fade and your eyes started to droop. You stretched your arms with a yawn, blinking slowly.

“I should probably get going,” you murmured, rubbing at your eyes. “I’ve got an 8 a.m. lecture tomorrow and if I miss it, I’ll cry. Publicly.”

Heeseung stood from his seat automatically. “I’ll drive you.”

But before he could even reach for his keys, whack—Grandpa’s cane smacked lightly against his shin.

“Are you crazy?” Grandpa scoffed. “It’s almost midnight. Let her rest here. You have a perfectly good bed. And walls.”

Heeseung’s jaw dropped. “Are you crazy?”

Grandpa looked between the two of you like you were the ones being unreasonable. “Don’t tell me she’s never slept over here.”

Heeseung shot you a look that screamed don’t you dare.

You smiled tightly, heart racing. “Oh, plenty of times!”

Heeseung choked.

“Gosh,” you added with a nervous laugh, hands fluttering in the air, “this house… it’s practically my second home. I love this house. Love it. So homey. Very… echo-y.”

Grandpa raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced but having way too much fun.

“So,” he said, voice dripping with casual menace, “you’ll be sleeping with Heeseung tonight?”

You blinked. “I—left my—”

“You’ll be sleeping with Seung tonight,” Grandpa repeated with a knowing smile, cane tapping the floor rhythmically. “Won’t you?”

You opened your mouth.

Then closed it.

Then looked at Heeseung, who looked exactly like someone who’d just swallowed a lemon.

You turned back to Grandpa with a grin so forced it should’ve come with a cramp.

“…Yes. Of course. That’s the plan.”

“Well then,” Grandpa beamed, clapping his hands once. “I’ll sleep soundly knowing my two lovebirds are safe and snuggled up. Goodnight, children.”

And just like that, he turned and shuffled down the hall, whistling.

You stood there in the silence that followed, staring down at your socks.

Heeseung exhaled deeply beside you.

“This is the worst lie I’ve ever committed to,” he muttered.

You peeked up at him.

He wasn’t looking at you. Just down the hallway. But the tips of his ears were red.

And yours?

Burning.

“…Where’s your room?” you asked, voice barely above a whisper.

He finally met your gaze.

“Upstairs,” he said. “But don’t worry. I’ve got an extra pillow.”

—-

You weren’t sure what rich people did with this much space, but Heeseung’s en suite bathroom was bigger than your entire dorm room. Probably had better plumbing too. The water pressure? Heavenly. The heated floors? Life-changing. The mirror didn’t even fog. What kind of sorcery—

You stepped out wrapped in an oversized cloud of cotton.

His pyjamas—crisp, soft, and clearly designed for a man with longer legs and significantly broader shoulders—swallowed you whole. The shirt hung just past mid-thigh, brushing against your bare skin as you walked. The sleeves covered your hands. The collar was just slightly too wide, revealing the soft slope of your collarbone with every step.

You hadn’t bothered with pants. The top was long enough. Besides, who the hell was going to see?

...Right.

Heeseung.

You made a small sound as you fumbled with your hair tie, accidentally knocking over a bottle of something suspiciously expensive on his nightstand.

His head snapped up from his phone.

And everything in him—every rational, composed, deeply repressed cell—froze.

There you were.

Walking toward the bed like some kind of sleepy siren, his shirt hanging off your body like it had always belonged to you. Bare legs. Damp hair. That slightly flushed post-shower glow. He could see the delicate line of your throat when you tilted your head to fix your sleeves.

His breath hitched—sharply.

He looked away immediately, gaze darting back to his phone like it was on fire.

Nope.

Nope.

He was not going to think about how your thighs looked in the dim lighting. Or the fact that you were wearing his clothes. Or the way the fabric of that button-up swayed slightly as you walked.

He swallowed hard.

Cleared his throat.

You glanced over at him, half amused, half oblivious. “You good?”

“Fine,” he said too quickly. His voice cracked. Cracked.

You raised an eyebrow. “Sounded like a dying bird.”

Heeseung coughed into his fist and sat up straighter, yanking the blanket slightly higher over his lap.

“I’m fine,” he repeated, eyes glued to his screen like he was researching stock reports and not silently begging the universe for strength.

You padded across the room, dropping onto the other side of the bed with a little bounce.

His bed.

You were in his bed.

Wearing his clothes.

With bare legs.

He stared at the ceiling.

You, stretching lazily, tucked the blanket around yourself. “These are really soft, by the way.”

“Yeah,” he muttered. “They’re… cotton.”

“You okay?”

“Perfect.”

Your knee brushed against his under the covers.

He stopped breathing.

You didn’t notice.

But God help him—he noticed everything.

"Are you sure…" Heeseung’s voice cut through the quiet, just barely above a whisper. “You don’t mind sharing one bed tonight?”

You didn’t even hesitate. “Not really. I’ve done this plenty of times with Jake when we go on trips.”

“Oh.” Heeseung blinked. Hard.

Jake. Right. Your other male roommate. The one you’d apparently shared beds with like it was no big deal. The same Jake who drank from the milk carton and sang in the shower and left hair ties in the microwave.

Cool. Casual.

Totally fine.

Except it wasn’t.

Not when you were currently climbing into his bed, his shirt hanging off your body like sin itself, the hem rising with every motion of your legs. Your thigh brushed the comforter as you moved, bare and soft under the dim bedside lamp, and Heeseung’s eyes locked on it like he’d been hypnotized.

You flopped down with a sigh, fingers raking through your damp hair. With a frustrated huff, you pushed up onto your knees and pulled your hair into a ponytail—arms raised, shirt rising even higher, revealing the smooth curve of your hip and a glimpse of skin that did unspeakable things to Heeseung’s already struggling self-control.

Something snapped.

He swallowed.

Hard.

“I—on second thought,” he said abruptly, voice tighter now, “maybe I’ll just… sleep on the couch.”

You whipped your head around. “What? Are you crazy?”

He was already half out of the bed, blanket in hand like he was escaping a wildfire.

“It’s fine. Really. You—you take the bed. I’ll just—”

You rolled your eyes. “Heeseung, it’s just one night. It’s not like we’re going to do anything crazy.”

“That’s not—”

“And besides,” you added casually, slipping under the covers like it was your own bed, “what if Grandpa comes in? Huh? What’ll he think when he sees one side empty? We’ll be exposed. Caught. Fired.”

Heeseung paused, blanket still clutched in his hand.

You narrowed your eyes at him. “He already thinks I call you Seung in my sleep.”

He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“C’mon,” you said, patting the empty space beside you. “I’m not gonna bite.”

He looked at the bed.

Then at you.

Then at the ceiling like he was praying for strength.

And with a sigh—long, heavy, full of the emotional weight of a man who had just been sentenced to a trial by fire—he climbed back in.

Stiff as a board.

Tense as a wire.

And one wrong move away from completely combusting.

You, meanwhile, simply yawned. “Goodnight, Seung.”

His breath caught again.

“Sleep,” you mumbled, already drifting off. “Be normal…”

He stared at the ceiling.

He was definitely not sleeping tonight.

It had been ten minutes since Heeseung shut off his phone.

Ten minutes since the room went still, lit only by the faint glow of the city lights spilling through the tall windows. Ten minutes of lying there, staring into the dark like it might offer him a lifeline.

It didn’t.

Instead, he tossed. Then turned. Then flipped onto his back, onto his side, back again. Adjusted the blanket. Shifted the pillow. Anything to make it stop.

But nothing did.

Because you were beside him.

And you weren’t just beside him—you were curled into the covers wearing his shirt, skin bare beneath it, body warm, soft, close.

Every time you moved—every tiny adjustment, every sleepy twist—your thigh brushed against the back of his hand. Light. Innocent. Deadly.

And he was losing it.

Because your skin was smooth. Because you smelled like vanilla and his body wash. Because your breathing had gone slower, heavier, but not deep enough to say you were truly asleep. And because you’d been inches away from him for ten solid minutes, and he was almost certain the mattress had started shrinking just to screw with him.

His mind spiraled in every direction—don’t look, don’t touch, don’t think. Especially don’t think.

He swallowed hard, chest tightening when you shifted again, this time dragging your leg slightly against his, a friction that had no idea how dangerous it was.

“Can’t sleep?” your voice came through the dark, quiet. Soft. Laced with sleep.

Heeseung let out a slow breath. “No.”

Not when you’re wearing next to nothing in my bed. Not when you keep moving like that. Not when I can smell you.

He didn’t say it.

He just laid there, staring at the ceiling like it was his only ally in this war.

There was rustling beside him. Sheets moving.

And then—

You turned.

Faced him.

He could feel it—your presence shifting, your warmth moving closer. Then your face, just barely lit, settled near his. Inches. Maybe less. He turned his head and you were right there.

Your eyes found his.

And he couldn’t breathe.

“Why did you have to resort to fake dating?” you asked softly, voice low, barely a whisper. Like it was a secret meant only for this room. Only for him.

He blinked. The question registered—somewhere far away. But mostly he was focused on how close you were. How your breath skimmed his chin. How your lips were parted just enough, soft, tempting, completely unaware of the absolute chaos you were causing.

“What?” he managed, though it sounded hoarse.

You didn’t back away.

Your gaze stayed on his like you were still trying to figure him out. “Why’d you resort to this? Paying someone $500 to pretend they like you… must be—”

“Weird?” he said, lips twitching faintly.

You shook your head. “Exhausting.”

That word sat heavy between you.

He swallowed again, eyes flicking down—just for a second—to your mouth.

“I just…” he hesitated, jaw tensing, “I guess I don’t want Grandpa to be disappointed.”

Your features softened. He could see it—could feel the way your expression shifted, less teasing now, more understanding. More real.

You blinked slowly, and then, before he could even brace for it, your hand brushed against his under the covers. Light. Unintended. But it stayed.

Heeseung’s pulse jumped.

You didn’t move away.

Neither did he.

“I don’t think he’d ever be disappointed in you,” you said quietly, your voice gentler now.

And for a moment, neither of you spoke.

The space between you disappeared.

The tension changed—thicker, charged. Heeseung could feel it building in the air between your knees, your chests, your breath.

He didn’t touch you.

Didn’t dare.

But he wanted to.

God help him, he wanted to.

His hand lay there beneath the blanket, centimeters from yours. Still. Controlled. Every muscle in his body tense with the effort of not reaching. Not brushing his thumb across your knuckles. Not leaning forward just to see what your lips might feel like under his.

And then—quietly, like a sigh—he spoke.

“You’d be surprised.”

Your brow furrowed. “About what?”

He turned his head toward you, gaze meeting yours in the dark.

“About Grandpa,” he said, voice soft, almost like it wasn’t meant to be said aloud. “It seems like his whole mission is to make sure I’m happy, yeah. But I don’t think he knows how. So he fills in the blanks. Tries to fix things I don’t say out loud.”

You were quiet for a beat, processing that.

Then, “Are you kidding me? It seems like his entire life revolves around you. The way he talks about you, it’s like this life mission is to keep you happy.”

He let out a soft, dry laugh. “Happy or not alone?”

Your eyes searched his face, reading more in the curve of his lips than in the words themselves.

“In his defense,” you murmured, smiling just a little, “you can be kinda… aloof.”

He turned toward you slightly, one arm propped beneath his pillow. “Oh really?”

You nodded, suppressing a grin. “When I first met you, you said I was late.”

“You were late.”

“I was two minutes late.”

“And that’s still late.”

You huffed a laugh, leaning in just slightly, forehead nearly brushing his. “That’s not late. That’s margin-for-error-level arrival.”

“It’s a time commitment. If someone says 2:30, it means 2:30. Not 2:32. Not 2:31 and thirty seconds. 2:30.”

“You’re such a weirdo,” you whispered, eyes sparkling in the low light.

He smirked. “You’re the one fake-dating the weirdo.”

“Yeah, well,” you murmured, voice quieter now, “he’s growing on me.”

Heeseung blinked.

Just once.

And everything in him stilled.

You didn’t mean to say it. Or maybe you did. You weren’t sure anymore. But it was out there now, floating between your shared breaths, warm and weightless.

The silence returned—but this time, it wasn’t empty.

And neither of you moved.

But that space between your hands?

It got smaller.

And smaller.

Until your pinkies brushed.

And neither of you pulled away.

“I don’t have to… submit a request to kiss you, do I?” you whispered, your voice feather-light, but laced with something deeper—something that curled low in your belly and dared to rise.

Heeseung blinked, startled.

“What?”

“The contract,” you said, gaze flickering down to his mouth. “Clause Five. Physical contact?”

His expression twitched—something between amused and completely wrecked.

“You’re an idiot,” he murmured.

And then he kissed you.

It wasn’t soft.

Not hesitant. Not even close.

He surged forward, one hand tangling in your hair, the other gripping your waist like he’d been holding back for hours—days—and couldn’t do it a second longer. His lips crashed into yours, hot and hungry, all restraint forgotten.

Your breath caught—then disappeared completely.

You kissed him back just as desperately, your fingers curling into the front of his shirt, yanking him impossibly closer. The warmth of his body pressed flush against yours, the heat rolling off him. His mouth moved over yours like he’d been waiting for this–firm, demanding, a little messy, a lot needy.

You gasped when his teeth grazed your bottom lip, and he took the chance—deepened the kiss, tongue sliding against yours in a way that made your thighs clench, your entire body arch into him without thinking. Your hand fisted at the back of his neck, pulling, anchoring, grounding yourself as your mouths moved in perfect, aching sync.

His other hand slid under the hem of your—his—shirt, fingers splaying over your bare waist. His palm was warm, calloused, and when his thumb dragged slowly along the soft curve of your side, you shivered.

He pulled you until you were nearly straddling his thigh, your legs tangled with his under the sheets. His lips left yours just long enough to catch his breath, only to return to the corner of your mouth, your jaw, the sensitive spot just below your ear.

You let out a noise—somewhere between a gasp and a sigh—and he cursed under his breath.

“I’m gonna lose my goddamn mind,” he whispered against your skin.

“You already are,” you panted, tugging him back in.

He kissed you again, harder this time. Like this had stopped being fake a long time ago and neither of you had realized it until now.

You felt his breath hitch, his hands still roaming your sides, reverent and aching and starved.

And in that dark, breathless tangle of limbs and mouths and months of built-up tension, one truth burned bright:

This wasn’t part of the contract.

This was real.

And you both knew it.

The moment your mouths found each other again, it shifted.

The desperation from before—hot and rushed—simmered into something deeper. Slower. More dangerous. Like you were both savoring what you already knew would ruin you.

His lips dragged over yours with purpose, tongue sweeping slow and teasing before pressing deeper, pulling a soft, wrecked sound from your throat that made him groan into the kiss.

He rolled slightly, his hand gripping your thigh, fingers slipping under the hem of your borrowed shirt—his shirt—his thumb brushing the bare skin there like it was something sacred. You gasped, the contact sparking fire under your skin.

“You’re gonna kill me,” he muttered against your lips, forehead resting against yours as he caught his breath, voice hoarse.

You barely managed to respond before he was kissing you again—slower this time, but no less intense.

Your own fingers slipped beneath his shirt, running along the firm lines of his stomach, the dip of his waist, the warm, smooth skin stretched over lean muscle.

You pressed closer, your legs tangling with his under the sheets, the soft brush of his sweats against your bare thigh igniting something primal. His hand found the curve of your ass, dragging you just that much closer as he kissed you deeper, harder.

The air grew heavier, your bodies slick with heat and friction.

And then he pulled back—barely—his lips kiss-swollen, chest rising and falling in heavy breaths. His eyes were dark, wild, but searching yours with something softer beneath it all. Something that ached.

“This isn’t just the contract anymore, is it?” you whispered, voice cracking at the edges.

His thumb brushed along your jaw.

“No,” he said. “Not even close.”

—-

The sunlight poured in far too kindly for the chaos it was about to illuminate.

You stirred first, blinking blearily as your body slowly registered the warmth next to you. A solid chest. An arm draped loosely across your waist. A slow, even breath at the back of your neck.

And then it hit you.

You weren’t in your bed.

You were in his.

You were in Lee Heeseung’s bed.

And right—right—you remembered now.

Flashes of last night hit like a slow-burning montage.

His hand cradling your face. The way his voice cracked when he said it wasn’t fake. The way he kissed you like he meant it. Like you were something he'd been holding back from for far too long.

Then—heat. Teeth. Hands. Skin on skin.

And now?

You were naked.

Fully. Absolutely. No-fabric-in-sight kind of naked.

Your eyes snapped open.

You lifted the edge of the blanket and peeked underneath.

“Oh my god,” you whispered. “Shit.”

Your cheeks blazed as you slowly, carefully dropped the covers like they had personally offended you.

You had done it.

You had done did it with your fake boyfriend.

Who was also your fake boss.

Who was also—by technical definition—your employer.

Your CEO.

“Shit,” you muttered again, burying your face into the stupidly soft pillow.

Everything about last night replayed in agonizing, high-definition clarity.

And yet—beneath the panic, beneath the mild oh-my-god-I-slept-with-the-CEO breakdown—a softer, more terrifying feeling began to surface.

Because it hadn’t been just physical.

You remembered how he looked at you before it even began. How he touched you like you were something breakable. How, afterwards, he didn’t just roll over and sleep—he stayed close. Held you. Let his fingers run gently along your back like he didn’t want the moment to end.

And now you were awake.

Naked.

In his bed.

It was an HR violation with a side of deep emotional confusion.

Except you weren’t technically working for him. Not in that way.

You weren’t on his payroll, didn’t report to him, weren’t attending Monday meetings and yet… you were getting paid. By him. For relationship labor.

So what was this?

What was he to you?

You clutched the blanket to your chest, eyes wide, brain spiraling like a loading screen with no internet connection.

You were going insane. That was the only logical explanation.

And maybe—just maybe—your inner meltdown was loud enough to wake the man beside you.

Heeseung stirred beside you, letting out a soft groan. His arm stretched, his hair falling into his eyes as he rubbed at them groggily. Still half-asleep, he blinked blearily at you, then glanced around the room like he was buffering.

“…What time is it?” he muttered, voice still raspy from sleep.

You cleared your throat. “Uh. Eight.”

His eyes widened slightly. “Don’t you have a lecture?”

You clutched the blanket tighter. “It’s not like I can go now.”

“I can drive you—”

“It’s fine.” You looked away, heat crawling up your neck. “I’ll just ask Jungwon for notes.”

There was a beat of silence.

Then Heeseung sat up straighter, blinking the last bits of sleep from his eyes.

His hair was adorably messy—tufts sticking out at odd angles, like he'd lost a round with the pillow. His voice, still husky and half-croaked, sharpened with sudden realization.

And then… his eyes dropped.

Just briefly.

A subtle glance under the blanket that covered both of you, then back up to you.

His entire face went red.

Not just a light flush. Red. Crimson. Full-body blush like he’d been slapped by the truth.

“Did we…” he asked, voice almost squeaking at the end.

You stared at him.

He stared at you.

Then down at the blanket.

Then back at you again.

Your own cheeks heated in response, but you somehow managed to keep a straight face. “Heeseung.”

His mouth opened. Closed. Opened again.

“I mean—like—did we actually…” he flailed, hand gesturing vaguely toward the bed, the room, your bare shoulders.

You raised a brow and slowly lifted the blanket just enough to peek.

Then dropped it.

“Unless I had a really intense dream and sleepwalked out of my underwear,” you said dryly, “yes. We did.”

Heeseung made a noise—something between a cough and a whimper—and dragged a hand down his already-flushed face.

“I swear I don’t usually do this,” he mumbled into his palm.

“Neither do I,” you muttered, staring at the ceiling like it had answers. “Believe it or not, this isn’t standard protocol in fake dating.”

“God,” he whispered.

Silence settled over the bed again. Awkward. Tangled in expensive sheets. Full of unsaid things.

Then, softly, almost shyly, he added, “Was it… okay?”

You turned your head slowly, raising one unimpressed brow. “Are you asking me for a Yelp review?”

Heeseung groaned and flopped back onto the mattress, pulling a pillow over his face.

You snorted. “For the record,” you said, staring at the ceiling again, “I’d give it a solid four and a half stars.”

He peeked out from under the pillow.

“Four and a half?”

“You lost half a star for the part where you knocked over the lamp.”

“You moaned my name when that happened!”

You rolled your eyes, biting down a grin. “Okay, then what about me?”

He blinked. “What?”

“Me, Heeseung.” You turned your head to face him fully, the blanket still tucked under your arms. “Did I… I mean, did I do fine? Because I haven’t really—”

Your voice trailed off awkwardly. Heat crawled up your neck. You tried to brush it off with a casual shrug. “I haven’t, like… done that in a while. At all. So if I was, like, bad or weird or made a weird noise or elbowed you in the ribs—”

Heeseung sat up, eyebrows raised, lips twitching like he was trying very hard not to look completely charmed.

“I don’t need to know about your ‘previous ones,’” he said, air-quoting with a soft laugh, “but I thought you were…”

He hesitated for a second. Like the compliment got stuck in his throat.

You raised an eyebrow. “You thought I was…?”

His eyes met yours—steadier now. 

“I thought you were beautiful,” he said simply.

—-

You didn’t have to tell Jake that something happened.

Son of a bitch knew.

Knew it before you said a word. Probably the second he walked into the apartment and caught you humming Levitating while making coffee with the dopiest smile known to mankind.

So now here he was.

Storming into Heeseung’s office with murder in his eyes and violence in his heart.

“Jake!” you yelled, already chasing after him in panic. “Jake, don’t—”

Too late.

The door slammed open.

Jake marched in like a one-man riot, fists clenched, breathing like he’d just sprinted through traffic—and made it his personal mission to ruin one (1) rich man’s entire day.

“You slept with my best friend?!” he roared.

Heeseung blinked from behind his desk. “…What?”

Jake didn’t wait. “You SLEPT with her?!”

Then he lunged.

Like physically lunged.

“Jake!” you shrieked, grabbing his arm, but he twisted out of your grip like some low-budget action movie star. “I swear I didn’t tell him! He figured it out on his own.”

Heeseung dodged just in time. “Dude! What the hell?!”

“You absolute bastard!” Jake shouted, winding up for Round Two.

“Can you not try to assault him?!”

“I’m not his employee anymore! I quit! I QUIT, baby!” Jake yelled, chest heaving as he pointed at Heeseung with a shaking hand. “Which means I can say whatever the hell I want and throw hands freely!”

Heeseung held up both palms. “I don’t even know what’s happening right now—”

“She was singing Dua Lipa, man.”

Heeseung paused. “…What?”

“LEVI-FUCKING-TATING.”

You groaned. “Jake, please don’t—”

“She only sings that damn song when something life-altering happens. Once after her ex situationship finally disappeared from the face of the Earth, and once when she found fifty bucks in a jean jacket she forgot she owned.”

“Okay, that second one was a really good day,” you muttered.

Jake spun dramatically, wild-eyed. “Exactly! So when I walk in and hear her humming the post-coital anthem of joy, don’t expect me to sit quietly and sip tea!”

“You drink cold brew,” Heeseung said numbly.

Jake turned on him. “Don’t you dare correct me right now, Lee! You think you can just—just—have sex with her like it’s nothing? Like she’s just one of your carefully-scheduled board meetings? Bro, this isn’t a calendar event. This is a human woman! She’s the love of my platonic life!”

“Jake, oh my god,” you groaned.

“She’s not some emotionally available guinea pig you can use to test whether or not you’re capable of affection! She is smart, and kind, and sings weird songs when she’s nervous, and loves shitty takeout dumplings! She is—” Jake choked on his own rage. “She is MY best friend. Yea, she can be irritating. A little annoying. Doesn’t use a coaster. Loud as hell—”

“Get to the point.”

He pointed at Heeseung again. “BUT if you hurt her, I will haunt you. Alive.”

“…Still don’t know what any of this means,” Heeseung muttered.

Jake didn’t even blink. “It means exactly what it sounds like.”

Then, softer, almost broken, “We want out. I don’t care if she doesn’t say it—I’m saying it. This arrangement? This fake dating thing? Over.”

You stared at him, guilt and panic knotting together in your stomach.

Jake took a breath. His voice cracked as he added, “You can’t just sleep with her and expect me not to beat your ass.”

He turned, ready to leave.

And muttered one last time under his breath:

“Levitating. Fuckin’ hell.”

Then walked out.

Slammed the door.

Left behind a room full of stunned silence and one emotionally derailed CEO.

Heeseung turned slowly to look at you.

“…You sing Levitating after sex?”

You groaned, face in your hands. “I’m never listening to Dua Lipa again.”

You and Heeseung exchanged a look.

Then together, without a word, you marched out of the office in search of one (1) dramatic, emotionally unstable Jake Sim. He hadn’t made it far—just outside the hallway, pacing and muttering to himself like he was trying to manifest a HR lawsuit.

You each grabbed an arm and yanked him back inside.

“Jake,” you said sweetly, too sweetly. “Jake Sim. My baby. My sweet, sweet emotional support delinquent.”

Heeseung stiffened beside you, maybe a little jealous. “Not loving the pet names, but okay.”

You ignored him. “Look. Fine, yes, Heeseung and I… slept together…but—”

Jake immediately slapped his hands over his ears. “Lalalalala—I do not need to hear about something that repulsive before I’ve had my first fucking meal of the day.”

“Let me finish! Jake. JAKE!” you swatted at his hands, trying to pry them off. “Jake Sim, you son of a—get your hands off your ears, you dramatic toddler!”

The two of you spiraled into a flailing, full-body slap-fight. It was mostly ineffective but very loud. You were pulling, he was twisting, there was shouting, and all the while Heeseung stood there watching like a war correspondent reporting live from the world’s most undignified domestic disaster.

“YEAH!” you shouted suddenly, loud enough to shake the windows. “YEAH, WE FUCKED!”

Jake froze.

“I’M TALKING FUCKED SO GOOD—”

“EW! Get your musty, dusty, grimy little goblin fingers off me, you unhinged FREAK!” Jake hissed, fighting you off like a wild animal.

“Okay,” Heeseung said quietly in the background, looking one emotional outburst away from leaving the country.

The wrestling match raged on until—

“OKAY!” Heeseung snapped, louder this time.

You and Jake both froze mid-grapple, hands still locked like a pair of tangled action figures.

Heeseung ran a hand down his face, exhaling hard. Then, leveling his gaze at Jake, he said, “Yes. We slept together.”

Jake narrowed his eyes like a detective about to call bullshit, “I—”

“But I’m not playing with her,” Heeseung said. “Despite what you think, this isn’t a joke. This isn’t some fake PR stunt. And it sure as hell isn’t a game.”

Jake folded his arms, jaw tight. “And why the hell should I believe you? Huh, Mr. Contract Clause Five No Touching? Mr. Emotionally Constipated CEO? Mr. Fake Dating Lying Bitch—”

“You really gotta stop calling everyone ‘bitch’ in this office,” Heeseung muttered.

Jake didn’t blink. “Bitch.”

You sighed so hard your soul briefly left your body.

But then—Heeseung took a step forward.

Calmer now. Firmer.

“I’m serious,” he said, voice quieter this time. “I like her. A lot.”

Silence.

Complete. Deafening. Awkward silence.

Jake blinked.

You blinked.

Heeseung, for the first time in this entire conversation, looked… a little nervous.

“And I like her,” he said again. “As in—I want this to be real. If she’ll let it.”

Jake stared at him. Then looked at you.

You were too stunned to say anything.

Mouth slightly open.

Heart pounding like it was trying to escape your chest.

“You…” You swallowed. “You like me? Like you find me attractive kind of like me or is this a friendship kind of thing…”

Heeseung looked at you—really looked at you—like he had been holding that in for longer than he’d ever admit. His voice, when he spoke, was low and sure and a little wrecked.

“Well, you didn’t think I’d just do what I did with anyone, did you?”

Your face burned. “I just assumed—”

“That I was emotionally void?”

“...Kind of?”

He let out a short breath that might’ve been a laugh. “Fair.”

There was a pause. Not heavy. Not awkward. Just… full. Full of everything unsaid between the two of you. Full of five fake dates, one very real night, and every tiny glance in between.

He shifted a little closer, his tone softer now. Sincere.

“Look,” he said. “I know we haven’t known each other long. Barely a month, honestly. And maybe this wasn’t how either of us expected to start… anything. But if you’d let me—if you’re okay with it—I’d love to take you out.”

He smiled. Not the polished, press-ready one. A real one.

“For real this time.”

Before you could respond—

“Over my dead body!” Jake shrieked from the couch, hand dramatically raised like he was about to object in court.

You whipped your head around. “Jake Sim. I swear to God—” Your death glare could’ve ignited small fires.

Jake whimpered. Whimpered. And slowly sank back into the cushions like a chastised poodle.

You turned back to Heeseung, still breathless, still unsure if you were dreaming.

“So… we don’t have to lie anymore?” you asked. Voice small. Hopeful.

“This doesn’t have to be fake?”

Heeseung’s eyes were on you. Gentle. Steady. A little pink around the edges, like he was terrified you’d say no.

“No,” he said. “Not if you don’t want it to be.”

You exhaled. Slowly. Fully. Like you hadn’t realized you’d been holding your breath for days.

“So…” you leaned in slightly, tilting your head with the faintest grin. “You mean I can kiss you… without submitting a formal request?”

Heeseung smirked. “Correct.”

“And touch you without sending an email for approval?”

“You never had to do that.”

“I was being respectful.”

“You licked the top of my bubble tea straw in front of my boardroom.”

Jake groaned from the couch. “I’m going to vomit.”

You ignored him.

“So,” you said again, brushing your hand against Heeseung’s. “If this is real now…”

He turned his palm up. Laced his fingers with yours.

“Then maybe,” he murmured, eyes on your lips, “you should kiss me. No email. No contract. No Jake screaming.”

You smiled, heart fluttering somewhere near your throat.

And then, without another word, you leaned in—and Heeseung met you halfway.

The kiss wasn’t soft this time.

It was a collision.

Weeks of tension, fake-flirting, lingering looks, and one very real night all combusting into one hungry, breath-stealing kiss. His hand cradled the back of your head, your fingers gripping onto the collar of his stupidly expensive shirt.

He deepened the kiss, your noses bumping, your breath catching, your entire body leaning into his like you were trying to erase every inch of space between you.

And then—

“Get me outta here.” Jake groaned loudly from the couch.

You broke apart, lips flushed, cheeks hot, both of you turning in perfect sync to glare at him.

Jake, as always, remained completely unfazed.

He sat up, stretched dramatically, then sauntered across the room, like he wasn’t the same person who just tried to commit CEO murder twenty minutes ago.

“So,” he said, clapping his hands together. “About the whole ‘I quit’ thing…”

Heeseung raised an eyebrow.

Jake smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, uh, I was kinda joking. Like. Performance art. Stress-induced drama. You get it.”

You crossed your arms. “You literally said ‘I want out, and I speak for both of us.’”

“Right, but I was speaking from a place of deep emotional instability.” He pointed at Heeseung. “So. Let’s all just call it even.”

Heeseung narrowed his eyes. “You screamed ‘bitch’ at me five times in a row.”

Jake held up a finger. “Technically three of those were about the situation, not you personally.”

You blinked. “Jake.”

Jake turned to you, smiling way too brightly. “I’m just saying—if I don’t get paid this week, I will marry a rich sugar daddy.”

You snorted. “Honestly? Kind of tempting.”

Jake pointed at you with full enthusiasm. “RIGHT? We could be a duo! I’ll make a spreadsheet. We’ll tag-team it—me and you, taking turns flirting with eligible old men at yacht clubs.”

Heeseung froze.

You blinked. “You made a spreadsheet?”

Jake nodded proudly. “I could make one that’s color-coded. We’ll have target age ranges, net worth minimums, and a calendar for shared sugar daddy rotations. If we get a two-for-one, I call dibs on the one with the villa in Capri.”

You tried so hard not to laugh.

Heeseung, meanwhile, was gripping his pen a little too tightly.

“Jake,” he said slowly, voice eerily calm. “You’re rehired.”

Jake blinked. “Wait, really?”

“Yes.” Heeseung didn’t even look up. “Starting now. With a strict office policy: no more saying the word ‘bitch’…”

Jake opened his mouth.

“…Or sugar daddy.”

Jake frowned. “Is this a personal rule or an HR rule?”

“Yes.”

Jake squinted at him, then grinned with evil glee. “Oh my God. You’re jealous.”

“I’m not jealous,” Heeseung said through clenched teeth.

Jake ignored him entirely, turning to you. “You think if I start dressing like you, I’ll get a CEO to kiss me on a rooftop?”

You smirked. “You gotta be more charming like me, dude”

Jake nodded thoughtfully. “You’re right. I’d get too attached. I’m more of a ‘ruin your life in a week and leave behind a playlist’ kind of guy.”

Heeseung pinched the bridge of his nose.

Jake kept going. “Anyway, I’m free Thursday if you wanna start scouting sugar daddies in the CBD.”

“She’s not free Thursday,” Heeseung said flatly.

Jake blinked. “Oh? And why’s that?”

Heeseung looked right at him, then at you. “Because we have plans.”

You choked.

Jake grinned. “Oh, you’re so jealous.”

Heeseung leaned back, calm but dangerous. “And if you ever mention her dating anyone else again, you’ll be the first person I rehire just to fire.”

Jake raised both hands. “Damn. Okay. Y’all got real.”

He looked at you.

“You sure you don’t wanna keep sugar daddy scouting just in case this one implodes emotionally?”

You smiled sweetly. “Jake?”

“Yeah?”

“Get out.”

“Right, right. Leaving.” He paused dramatically at the door. “But if you change your mind—Villa. Capri. Matching linens.”

The door shut behind him.

Silence.

You turned to Heeseung. “You know he’s gonna keep this over your head, right?”

Heeseung looked at you—then, with the softest smile, pulled you closer.

“As if you could find a better sugar daddy than me.”

part 1

[lovelyinhell]

duplicitous - part one

primary tags: heeseung x f!reader, jake x f!reader, heeseung x jake x f!reader secondary tags: darker themes, a lot of anger from the two male leads (its kinda hot tho :3), smut, vouyerism, masturbation, mxm themes, degrading (kinda? depends on what you consider that is), mean jake, heeseung is a loser (who get bitches tho), family tension, stepcest, multiple sexual encounters ( i think maybe 2 in this part), and more to be added in later parts!

synopsis: jake and heeseung have grown to hate each other, but can their relationship be mended by a lil fucking around with the help of a friend?

word count: 2218 words

side notes: there's more than likely grammatically errors since this is tumblr yall.... not a research paper!!! don't come at me for the excess and inappropriate usage of commas, quotations, and other writing devices... im just a girl :(

heeseung and jake. two brothers bonded together by the marriage of their respective parents. their relationship started in kiddie soccer games where jake’s father had coached the youth of the wealthy socialite circle that heeseung’s mother was all but disgusted with. that small connection between their parents is what led to the two becoming brothers. but the two had very distorted emotions for the other.

heeseung was the oldest of the pair and with that, he was treated as capable of withstanding difficulties. jake was “inexperienced” in such abilities as his father liked to put. jake had lost his mother before he even got to know her. she had died while carrying him and jake had felt the burn of his father’s resentment ever since.

jake’s once appreciative and admiring view on heeseung was now one of jealousy and a twisted yearning. it was weird in jake’s mind, how a friend he once loved to watch run with a ball turned into a dislike that he masked with envy. 

he was not alone in his dislike for his brother; heeseung had felt similar emotions. from losing his father at a young age, he was made the man of a household that only consisted of his mother and himself. the restriction of child labor laws didn’t limit heeseung’s ability to provide for himself. he maintained a rigid schedule throughout his high school years, maintaining his near perfect scores and working late hours for construction gigs. he had grown to become self-reliant from early on. 

which was why jake had been a person of unadulterated hate to heeseung. jake had it easy. jake had someone who was capable of shielding the harsh realities of the world which allowed him the delight of simplicity and youth. he was not given that, instead heeseung was given a mother who’s whole life was depended upon a dead soldier who found serving his country more important than serving a family. heeseung’s mother had then turned to indulgently spending her time on filling the gaping void in herself, whether through paying for services or seducing men who had grown interested in a woman who had always looked in a state of anguish. 

the moment that jake and his father had step foot into his family home, he knew that his life would forever be a suffocating one… that was until he met you. 

his first year of college was incredible, so freeing and flexible. he no longer had any serious responsibilities and was allowed to truly indulge himself in the world of drugs, partying, sex, and other taboos. heeseung was no stranger to these vices but chose to keep far away from them as the temptation of falling into them while also maintaining a high gpa in highschool were impossible to manage. with the very limited free time he did have however, he slept with any girl eager to strip themselves of clothing in his presence. heeseung’s charm was one that he managed to perfect, thanks in part to the morning afters where his mother’s “friends” enjoyed in providing a sort of faux-fatherly advice on women to a young heeseung. 

heeseung wouldn’t label himself a player as most women were aware of his notorious reputation however this didn’t stop many of them from believing they were “special”, but you truly were in his eyes.

your stone cold demeanor and soft features were what drew in both heeseung and his roommate. you never really drew attention to yourself, but heeseung couldn’t help seeking your presence in any class he had. you were distant from others, but never shy. first to be in class and first out. heeseung nevers sees you with anyone, heck he doubts you have friends. but your so…. you. you sit directly in the center of the lecture hall and heeseung knows this because he intentionally sits 2 rows above your seat. watching you attentively watch professor sunghoon teach. 

maybe too attentively… 

both heeseung and his roomate made a bet on who would be first to seduce and unfortunately heeseung’s roommate had won. his roommate made sure to thoroughly detail how “soft” and “innocent” you had been. noting how you were more than likely a virgin and completely unaware of how “rough sex” would be like. heeseung had to restrain himself from physically recoiling at the remarks his roommate was spewing. what did the guy know about having experience? he had only just lost his virginity at orientation week and now considered himself the expert at sex? 

heeseung was not completely over you, he had wanted to properly please you. to show you the ways of sex and how much more fulfilling and all consuming good sex would be like. lucky for him the following week was halloweekend and the slutty costumes that both genders had wore gave the perfect chance for heeseung to show to you his acclaimed abilities.

the party was at jay’s parents mansion which by comparison to heeseung’s house was on an entirely different level of wealth. heeseung and jay were good friends in highschool, not that close but close enough to talk to about their shitty rich parents. heeseung had dressed up as ghostface minus any sort of clothing that would provide him warmth during October’s chilly weather. he sent a text earlier in the week, inviting you to jay’s party. it had been 3 days and all heeseung got back was the words seen and no written reply on whether you would appear.

heeseung had spent most of the party in a pissy mood, completely neglecting the many other women who were drawn to his shirtless ghostface attire. he had simply just grown infatuated with you. he couldn’t accept the fact that you had chosen his roommate over him, losing a chance at losing your virginity to a man who could provide you with the most toe-curling orgas-

in the corner of his eye, he saw the back of a familiar head with a shorter woman trailing behind him. 

what the fuck is jake doing here? and why the fuck does his company’s ass look so delectable? 

heeseung was always aware of the girls that jake was screwing, he made it his mission to know. there was this level of power he felt in controlling his brother’s life, the type of control that made him ecstatic. he would intentionally plead with the girls he screwed to go and seduce his brother, he convinced them that jake was having a “hard time right now”, but truthfully? he secretly enjoyed listening to what jake was like in bed.

their rooms were right next to each other so heeseung only assumed it was right to listen in because what if his brother needed assistance? 

“jakey you’re so big… i don’t think that’s gonna fit in me.. f-fuckkk” the girl yelped as jake shoved his raging boner into her. “i spent… f-fucking… who knows how long…. playing with your pussy, the least you could do…. is let me f-fuck that pretty hole of yours” heeseung’s hands now traveled down his own body, feeling warmth from listening to an angry horny jake. 

the now muffled moans of the girl, the slapping sounds of sex, and held back whines of jake had given heeseung the hardest boner he has ever had. jake’s a whiner? heeseung couldn’t control himself. he got down to floor, getting close to the open space by the wall. sliding down his navy blue plaid pants and getting on his knees, he presses his ears against the cold white wall. the sounds were now more easily heard, fuck my tip is already leaking. heeseung began slowly stroking his now hardened and sensitive cock.

“s-shut the fuck u-up…. heeseung ‘s gonna hear you sweetheart. how do you think he’s gonna react to you…. taking his younger brother’s cock?” he says breathlessly, still maintaining his speed. heeseung is at first spooked by his brother’s random mention of him, but his hands never leave his cock. the once slow strokes become tighter and faster as heeseung could no longer edge himself to jake’s activities. 

“jake! j-jake! fuck jakey please let me cum” the girl whines and heeseung also feels the buildup of release coming over him. “hold it”, heeseung stills. fuck just let me cum man, the girl is a mess as heeseung hears her voice breaking, consumed with desperate pleas. “j-jakey please.. i need you to let me cum… i-i can’t take anymore of this” the girls pleas cause jake to twitch inside of her, finding it cute to see such a helpless girl underneath him. jake slows slightly, “since you’re asking so s-sweetly, i’ll let you cum dear… but it’s gonna cost ya..”, jake then with all the strength left in him, pounds the girl’s pussy. heeseung hears this so clearly and fuck his hand is already beating his sensitive cock and milking the cum he’s been holding on. it spills out, pouring all over his cock and even drips onto his pants. heeseung is panting, having not felt that pure rush in what seemed like forever. the sound of pounding continues, the girl's once vocal pornographic moans now turned into unintelligible grunts as if her ability to moan was costing her too much energy. “t-take it all. fuck you’re such a good cum bucket for me…. oh fuck yes yes yes let my seed impregnate your womb with good sperm… bet heeseung never got you like this huh?”

heeseung  furrows his eyebrows as he recalled the memory, unable to determine whether that was the great orgasm he has ever had or if he’s a fucking weirdo for listening to his younger brother pour out his cum in a girl he previously fucked. either way… it was-  

heeseung had decided to follow jake and his mystery woman, making sure not get to close and alert jake of his presence. 

jake’s costume was of the joker variety, particularly inspired by jared leto’s portrayal of the character. the girl he had with him had a dark latex nurse outfit, which perfectly accentuated the round and firmness of the woman’s ass. fuck… i need that, heeseung is entirely entranced by the mystery woman jake is with. his desire to learn more about her increases as jake and her both walk into one of the many bedrooms in jay’s mansion. 

the darkness of the house for the party’s ambiance allowed heeseung to stand directly in front of the door without alerting jake and the hot nurse of his presence. heeseung watches as the two figures begin making out.

“fuck… i can’t get enough of you…”, jake moans as he dives back into the hot nurse’s mouth. the hot nurse presses her index finger to jake’s plush lips before flickering the plumpness of them. “open that mouth for me… jakey… you said you’d do anything i ask…. right baby?” fuck her voice…. sounds so…. jake rubs his hard on that couldn’t help but ache in his pants and begins to follow the hot nurse’s command. he opens his mouth so pornographically… it’ll fit my… “good boy… wow.. to think all i had to do to get your attention was wear this slutty outfit… tsk tsk tsk… should i show up to our tutoring lessons like this?” 

fuck this girl is hot….. but why does she sound so much like- 

jake sucks on the nurse’s finger thoroughly, making sure to slobber them with his drool and lust. heeseung can’t see the woman’s face but her moans of approval give heeseung a clear indication of her delight. she retracts her fingers and jake whines, his head unknowingly following her finger. what a fucking los- heeseung reminded himself of the position he was in and how he truly was the loser in this case, watching his brother get his dick wet while the one girl he was interested in had completely ghosted him. true and real loser activities. 

while heeseung was in deep reflection, he completely missed jake grabbing the hot nurse and pinning her onto the bed. “fuck y/n… please let me fuck you now, ive been waiting for so…” he peppers kisses on her foot and ankle “sooo…” he continues kissing her up, getting to her thighs. heeseung is truly amazed, who did jake learn this from? wait.. “so long to get you here..” jake eventually gets himself right in front of her already clothed core. “you got me here? jakey… don’t mess this up with your ego. you know you’re only here cause i called you… right? your desperate ass just can’t get enough of me and so you hurried out of that boring highschool party and drove yourself across town to my house to pick me up. im the reason you’re here, baby… act like it ” 

heeseung freezes. his young brother who not only crashed into his already dysfunctional life, lives up to no unrealistic expectations, and has no real responsibilities; has y/n with him in bed. his y/n. heeseung is fuming, not only does jake have everything else handed to him, thanks to the privilege of becoming heeseung’s mom’s favorite son, he gets the one girl heeseung wants. for fucks sake! 

heeseung controls his anger, not wanting to explode out and get caught by jake and the hot nurse, y/n.

liked the story? please like and reblog! and please comment if you enjoyed (or didn't)!!!! tysm <3

[marymary-diva17]

Tonowari x Mai/Ty Lee! (From: Avatar the Last Airbender) Fem! Reader x Ronal (poly mates)/ Aonung x Tsireya x Rotxo x Fem Reader (platonic/parental relationship):

Basically the Reader is like Mai but has the flexibility of Ty Lee. Anyways the he reader wasn’t there when the Sully’s arrived so she has never met them. So when she comes back she sees Jake and thinks that he is a threat so she goes into protection mode. So then they start to fight and (the Reader has throwing starts and is really flexible so she’s able to doge all his attacks) this attracts a huge crowd and when Neytiri sees her mate being attacked she steps in and also fights with the Reader (so now it 2v1). You can continue it from here.

P.s. Can it be after the second movie and Neteyam lives.

Thank you.

Tonowari x reader x ronal

I have been given similar request for tonowari x reader x ronal like this before. I will still do the request of the reader being like Mai and ty lee, but there are going to be some changes to the story.

Pandora is a world that is always filled with mystery, beauty, and wonder no matter where you live on the planet. The navi who lived on pandora and worship the great mother, had always found a way to make something with life. There are many ways of living life on Pandora some of them similar and different. Pandora had been also filled with peace and war, even due these two situations are happening everyone had been able to make way with their lives on pandora and within their clans.

tonowari " yanwtu"

y/n " yes ma tonowari" you are standing on the beach gather some fruit.

tonowari " I was wondering if you can help me with Jake sully and his family and some friends" the sully family had arrived here yesterday and the who clan was shocked by their arrival.

y/n " I will love to help I was going to offer my help"

tonowari " that what I love about you"

y/n " good I'm guessing our ronal not willing to help at the moment"

tonowari " she doing her own with mo'at and the healers I don't think, it will be a good idea to leave her and neytiri in the same room unsupervised" you had nodded your head knowing that was the truth, as the stand off between the two was not very good.

?????? " mom" you and tonowari and seen tsireya making her way over to them, she soon stopped when she reached her mom. Looking at you with bright eyes and smile on her face.

y/n " hello my daughter now what go you in such a rush"

tisreya " well I was hoping if you can help my and the boys, with the sully kids and spider they wish to know of some of the moves you taught us"

tonowari " well my daughter it had asked your mom the same question" tonowari ahd walked towards tsireya and brought her close to him.

tsireya " what did you say mom"

????? " mom" even before you could open your mouth and say anything aonung and rotxo had come running over.

aonung " hey mom can you help us with the sully kids please"

rotox " yes it will be fun"

tsireya " well before you all came she was about to answer mine and baba question"

aonung " oh really mom please say yes beauty please, it will be fun and making lessons more interesting there so many times you can laugh at someone when they fall off an IIu ...ahh baba"

tonowari " be nice young man"

rotox " please mom it will be good for us and them and it can help us become friends"

y/n " well you all give good reason and I originally did say yes to your baba"

tsireya " wiat it no longer a yes"

y/n " it still a yes my children and I was going to ask to see if I can help them already, before I was asked"

the kids " yes"

tonowari " thank you ma y/n and please go easy on them"

y/n " oh yes I will go easy on the children as the adult I will do my best"

tonowari " I know you will"

y/n " good"

The next day

Y/n " bring the sully family and anyone else who wish to come to the beach"

tsireya " yes mom we will meet you there"

y/n " good"

ronal " I still can't you are going to teach them all you know"

y/n " I'm going to teach them some stuff but not everything"

ronal " good you don't need to be sharing all your secrets and skills" you had kissed ronal goodbye as you soon left the home and headed home, there are some skills that good amount of navi knew about and you were one of those navi. You had soon reached the beach and waited for the arrival of everyone else.

tsireya " everyone this is our mom she will be helping you all with some combat lessons or self defense"

tsu'tey " this small women is your mother she doesn't seem like a warrior more like a healer or gather"

aonung " well she also those at along with some other stuff as well"

neytiri " umm what can she tech as we have been through many battles, she seems like she done none"

y/n " fine let see what I can you as fighting you three came at me and, see if you can beat me"

Jake " are you sure about this we rather not hurt the mate of tonowari and ronal"

y/n " it will be okay" Soon all three adults had looked at each other tsutey was the first one to changer at you, and you soon enouh jumped over him.

tsu'tey " huh" you soon hit tsu'tey in his arms he soon left his limbs go numb.

tsu'tey " what have you done to me" you soon hit him in his legs and rib cage soon sending him to the ground.

tsu'tey " how is that possible I can't move"

Jake " nice trick but try to take on a man who has human training" now Jake had came at you a you ran him he tried to get you but he missed you soon tossed something at him wrapping his legs and arms up.

Jake " what the heck" you soon tap Jake on the forehead sending him falling down to the sandy ground.

neytiri " you will pay for what you did to my husband and tsu'tey"

y/n " then let go" neytiri had came to you and you soon started fighting her but when neytiri had thought she had, the upper hand she was soon brought down when you ahd beat her. Doing the same things you did to Jake and tsu'tey.

y/n " well what do you three think about me now"

rotxo " umm mom"

y/n " umm oh I did to much"

the kids " that amazing"

y/n " huh"

spider " that was amazing you moved and did that all like it was nothing"

y/n " oh thank you"

neteyam " your mother is amazing fighter"

y/n " thank you"

kiri " how did you do those moves"

y/n " well it something I learned when I was very young"

mo'at " that was wonderful" everyone soon saw mo'at standing with a crowd of people that came to see.

tuk " grandmother did you see that"

mo'at " yes I have know of clan doing that but never see it before"

y/n " yes I from a clan like that I have leaned this skills and perfected them over the years"

Jake " that good to hear umm if you don't mind can you undo what happened here"

y/n " oh yes" you ahd freed Jake first and soon undid what you had done to tsu'tey and neytiri.

neytiri " that was amazing you are one of the few women that can, keep up to me"

y/n " thanks"

kiri " can you teach us what you had done"

y/n " well yes and can teach you the combat skills and the draggers I used but it can't do the other stuff"

kids " aww'

y/n " maybe when you all get older we can come back to this subject"

tsireya " yes mom"

tsu'tey You are a good fighting you help me learn a thing or two"

y/n " thank you" you had kept the end of your promise and showed, the kdis some combat and defensive moves as well. When it came to the adults you had some them some of your moves that you used against them and helped them learn more about it. It seems like no matter where anyone else on Pandora there will always be wonder, and beauty and you seem to be one of those wonder and beauty as well.

[ronearoundblindly]

Wednesday ask!

Kinda silly, but do the guys have a game (uno, poker... etc) that they're good at?

-👜

Gang, I might be wrong on some of these, so be sure to tell me if there are other games you think the boys enjoy!

James Mace

Not for nothing but Mace loves solitaire. He does enjoy classic poker, of course, but he likes having a card game he can do alone with some thought and strategy. It's like therapeutic background noise: the order, the matching, the planning. Tons of different games are great, and he'll play whatever with anybody. Solitaire is what he wants to be good at consistently though.

Curtis Everett

OK honestly? He has the most fun with Uno. Good for all ages. Can get competitive but still light-hearted. Starts the stupidest, most hilarious fights among participants. Curtis loves it.

Jimmy Dobyne

Horseshoe or cornhole or maybe even axe throwing? Whatever it is, it's probably got to do with aim and is definitely outdoors. Helps that he can hold a beer in the other hand the whole time if he wants.

Johnny Storm

Twister, but not with Reed because he ruins it. Johnny likes the excuse to get handsy and stay nimble. Richards is both a killjoy and a showoff in that game. If Reed has to be there, then Dance Dance Revolution is the way to go because his brother-in-law may be flexible but he is not coordinated at all. Bonus points that Ben Grimm was always terrible at both of those games.

Jake Jensen

That's...not a video game??? Or Dungeons & Dragons?? Those are giveaways, really, but beyond that is probably Settlers of Catan (does not want to just call it just 'Catan'). Plays Risk, sure, though he grew up with Settlers and then later on found Risk.

Lloyd Hansen

Russian roulette lol, or rather, strip poker but sometimes the person he's playing with gets shot in a different appendage each time they lose. Lloyd still just strips. If he's feeling frisky, he takes out his switchblade and marks himself with a notch.

Ari Levinson

Chutes and Ladders or Yahtzee. Had both since he was a kid. Sticks with the classics. Doesn't necessarily play a lot of games anymore.

Ransom Drysdale

Cards Against Humanity. Ran is basically, genuinely 'against humanity' so no surprise there. Sneaks the most offensive of cards into stuffy bitches' purses just to mess with them. Nothing so satisfying as knowing a 60-some-year-old woman clutched her pearls after finding "three big black dicks" in her bag at the end of the night... It's the little things in life.

Andy Barber

Kinda...dislikes games in general??? He'll play them, but Andy would rather be watching a movie, a show, or a sports game (in person or on TV) then play any sort of board game. Knows how to play poker, etc, but not much of a betting man. Also not a fan of using skills of lying, bluffing, and hiding (aka having a poker face) outside of what's absolutely necessary for work.

Steve Rogers

Scrabble, the dweeb, because he both has a large vocabulary and always wants to increase his vocabulary. Knows a stupid amount of words with silent letters, X-s, Q-s, and Z-s. Will attempt to play with Cyrillic letters as a way to use Bucky's knowledge for good, clean fun. Is...not very good with Russian.

Bucky Barnes

Any sharp-shooting or precision game. Duck Hunt. Those water-gun things at carnivals. Air-gun stuff at the fair. Bucky was a sniper in the army before anything technically bad happened to him, and it's actually a skill he likes to keep honed and show off. Hope you like stuffed animals because you're getting won nine of them every date out!

[Main Masterlist; Who Would...Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[girlwithwolftatoo]

Can I request jumpscaring or attempting to jump scare the moon boys? I think if you actually succeeded in jumpscaring Jake he would be proud of you but like so upset with himself for getting jumpscared

For some reason I enjoy jumpscaring as a joke. Some people find it not innofensive enough but bah...

Moon boys + reader jumpscaring them

Steven Grant:

How dare you to scare the sweetest boyTM? Besides that, maybe jumping from behind the statue of Sobek, who reminds him of a certain crocodile lady would be enough...

It works... perhaps better than you expected. Poor Steven literally jumps and he's so freaked out he makes the Mr Knight suit appear.

"Oh no no Steven, take that off!" you rush him before someone sees him. He'll stare at you during some seconds, figuring out what just happened.

Steven has a very strict rule about jokes, he's not a big fan of pranks since he considers them a socially accepted manner to bully people. But, well, it was you who did it, so he's not as bothered as he would.

"Wasn't funny (Y/N)" he nags you, but will recover soon and, in fact, he's smiling just to let you know he forgives you.

Jake Lockley:

Usually he's the one that scares you. There's a hint of pleasure in making you gasp anytime he approaches from behind and wraps your arms around you (there was this time he gagged you with a hand before getting in an alley for a very intense make out session), so he considers you an innocent little butterfly...

Well he shouldn't have underestimated you, because when you finally got him, he went so wild he shouted without embarrasment "¡AY CABRÓN, CHINGA TU MADRE!" (a very flexible expression that can be roughly understood as "Holy shit my fucking God!")

You come out, laughing at his face, not believing something that simple would actually work. Once he sees this was only you, he shouts some more spanglish phrases to show how affected he was ("Chingado, bonita, almost crapped myself!")

But he laughs too. He's, as you said, proud and surprise to finding you can be really mean, in a playful manner, towards him.

Anyways, don't think you'll come clean. He'll make sure you... pay for your little game. But don't worry, Jake knows how to make you scream... and not just by horror.

Marc Spector:

This man has enough traumas for a couple of lives, and maybe playing a joke like this to him isn't easy. Luckily, he's full of surprises, and you managed not only to get a weak and harmless spot to play with him, but also to prepare it in such a way he would never suspect it.

He also screams, but not as exxagerated as Jake and naturally not as freaked out as Steven. His scream is a short, sharp one, and you can see he turns back with an expression of disconcern and waste, as if he noticed quick this was just a joke and can't believe it.

While you come out of your hidden place, laughing, he stares at you with a silent "Are you for real?" glare, which makes the situation even funnier.

"Oh yeah, so funny, keep laughing" he grunts. He's not angry, it's just he considers this pranks as something childish and can't believe you, of any other person he knows, could take time to prepare this prank for him.

There's a chance he'll return you the favor, just to whisper in your ear after you screamed, "What, not so funny when it happens to you?" (all this while a mischiveous chuckle forms on his lips).

[missadmyre]

Secret Trio + Detentionaire Physique HCs

Randy Cunningham

-he gains scars/wounds due to the suit not always being able to sense an attack quickly, thus not being able to register enough magic shield(?) to protect him (it ain't a robot y'all)

- because of his scars, he mostly skips getting dressed at the boy's locker room during Gym class

- he dresses at the bathroom stalls, though there are times when either Bucky or Julian had caught him shirtless in the bathrooms, they quickly learn to shut their mouths once they realize that "oh shit, this guy has lots of scars, might beat us up if we say anything"

- most of his scars are caused either because of incisions, scratch marks (Tengu!Howard's claws) or those black and blue bruises/blunt trauma because he keeps getting flung onto the walls

- there are burn marks scattered on his torso due to the  incident; one time, Jake lost control of himself and turned into a feral dragon because of some drug he inhaled, wasn't a very good time for both parties.

- there's two large scratch marks on both side of his hips because of Danny, who wasn't able to control obsessive urges as a ghost, thanks a lot Vlad, you traumatized them both

- he doesn't have the broadest shoulders but he has pretty damn good legs

- is very flexible

- he does gymnastics and acrobatics on a daily basis

- broke the school record of having the highest jump - his legs are far more muscular due to him always kicking at his opponents

- man has thighs for days

- he has excellent grip strength

- he managed to crush a watermelon using his thighs, go figure

- on a side note, the reason why his chest (specifically, where his heart is) is bare of any scars is because that is his sensitive spot

- the skin on his chest is very thin, so he tries his best to dodge an attack or at least lead the scar somewhere not near his heart

- there are times where his scarf is used against him (ie. choking, to swing him around) so he has faint marks of strangulation around his neck

- very docile than the others

- which is why has longer legs

- he excels more at meelee combat, his weakest is ranged combat

- the Nomicon taught him martial arts; karate, judo etc., which very much amplified his leg power

- you see those heightened senses he has? Yeah let's abuse that.

- he's not that sensitive (he can still enjoy loud parties and crap) but there's a limit to it.

Danny Fenton

- he can only gain wounds/scars when he is on his human form, though there are times when villains had been able to slip through that slit of a moment and managed to damage him while transforming in/out as the Phantom

- his scars mostly consist of large burn marks, chemical burns (from handling ectoplasm as a human), incisions and blunt trauma

- is the only one that have chemical burns

- the large gash on the right side of his torso is from the time when a yokai was able to slash him when he was transforming into the Phantom

- it was also the first wound that Randy was able to heal using the Art of Healing (feelings ensue~)

- he earned some scratch marks from Tengu!Howard, who clearly doesn't like him (he still doesn't know why that roasted chicken hates him, but damn well he does he enjoy teasing the guy)

- has the broadest shoulders

- bro doesn't pull his punches, LITERALLY!

- he has way bigger hands than Randy and Jake

- he punches more than he kicks, thus earning him a pretty heavy fists

- I feel bad for the human that would be unfortunately in the way of Danny's punch

- his biggest achievement is being able to knock down Biffy with his punches in just 10 seconds

- Biffy still hasn't forgiven him for that

- is trying to not get scars on his face due to the fact that his parents had once suspected him of being a gangster when they saw the little scar on the left side of his chin

- thankfully Jazz is able to cover up for him (I mean, getting that scar from shaving? Please)

- his weak spot are definitely his face and legs

- his legs are not the most steady due to him getting way too used to flying, kick him hard on the ankles and he'll fall immediately

- most chemical burns are seen on his hands, he got them from when ectoplasm would sometimes leak out of some Fenton weaponry (most notably, the Ecto Foamer) and he wasn't able to notice it as a human

- the strangling scar on his right wrist came from the long hours of getting cuffed in Ghost Prison, it was so bad the scar stayed even on his human form (he managed to escape but it still hurt y'know)

- his skin color is somewhat pale-ish tan

- since he's half dead, his wounds either don't heal or just heal very slowly, that's why he's careful not to get hit

- on the occasion that he did get a wound but his body wasn't able to heal it, he'll ask Randy for his Art of Healing

- he excels on both hand-to-hand and ranged combat, he has far more experience with guns/laser guns but he still takes lessons of gun handling from Lee

Jake Long

- most of his scars are found on his chest

- his scars include burn marks, scratch marks (Howard! Really?!), strangulation marks on both wrists and neck, a cauterized wound and incisions

- has the most burn marks than anyone on the trio

- the scratch marks from his arms came from his habit of scratching himself when trying to hold his anger

- my man still keeps getting picked on because of his height

- because of his recent molting, there are still dead skin flaking off of him, especially on his back

- the cauterized scar he has is something he both has good and bad memories to; when Jake lost control of himself as a dragon, he literally had to be put down in order to have Lee just treat his wounds, sadly the bandages weren't enough so they had to cauterize the wound using his OWN flame, at least Randy was comforting him through all that

- y'know kung fu, yeah he mastered that

- is very flexible in using both his hands and feet to fight AS a human

- in Dragon form (s1 design bc wtf is that shit from s2), he's a bit more feral as animalistic urges kick in

- it's because of that kind of behavior that he sometimes run straight into danger, earning him all kinds of wounds

- he has stitches all over his back because he got whipped one too many times at the auction incident (he still gets the chills everytime he thinks about it)

- it's also because of that incident that he gained strangulation marks on his neck and wrists because they treated him like an animal, cuffing him and all that

- to get those muscles, he went through a training arc

- you think Howard hating Danny is bad, well check out these two

- Howard and Jake are like, two pets that are fighting for their owner's love (or attention, Howard isn't going to touch that garbage fire called the Ectoham x Longham relationship)

- the moment Randy turns around, they are fighting all over the place, thus having the most scratch marks

- his weakness is his height, surprise surprise!

- when he's on his human form, it's hard to land a hit on an enemy who's clearly way taller than you

- when he's on his dragon form, his big height often causes him to trample or not be aware of unnoticeable traps

- he also can't balance himself when in dragon form, especially when he flies since his wings aren't the type to be able to easily dodge obstacles (it's just hard to make an adjustment when it's a sudden decision and you're up in the air)

- because he breathes literal fire, he always has a hot temperature, those who knew him just let's it be  it but when other people touch him, they would question if he has a fever

- his appetite is very big because... energy, the problem is that he has very high metabolism, so while he looks malnourished, he's actually taken what, like 2 boxes of pizza a minute ago (and about to take another one right now, dammit Spud, you're wasting too much money)

- have the sharpest nails there is, mostly likely because of his dragon form has it that it also integrated to his human form

- despite not being able to balance himself AS a dragon, he actually does quite well AS a human, being able to stand on poles/tightropes and shit

- those meditation lessons from his Gramps really did help huh

- he excels at hand-to-hand combat

Lee Ping

- he doesn't get that many scars since he doesn't fight opponents as much as the Secret Trio

- but when he does get a wound, it's mostly just blisters, on some cases, he would have burn marks or incisions

- since he always crawls through vents or tight spaces, he always has blisters skidded all around his arms and legs

- the burn marks came from when he would accidentally get hit from those robot's laser guns on Detentionaire (do they even have a name? But seriously, they hurt like hell, believe him)

- the large stitch across his torso is a very painful memory to look back on (he got captured by Cassandra and was about to get experimented on since he has the power to nullify any and all mind control, he was cut open and was about to be dissected when Biffy, Cam and Holger had caught up to him and set him free from there operating table, the other surgeons got killed while Cassandra got away)

- there are faint scratch marks on his shoulders BUT that is due to the tazelwurm sometimes sheathing it's claws on him accidentally (thank you Howard! Wtf did this guy do to you?)

- by far the most slimmest out of everyone in the group

- which is good because he's got to fit into those tight spaces to do "Lee Ping Spywork"

- can do basic gymnastics

- he's learned some basic and advanced self defense from the Serpent/Li, since he thought it would be useful if his younger brother can beat the shit out people when necessary

- the tallest (not including Biffy) out of the group

- has a scar caused by a stab wound somewhere in his right leg caused by Kimmy when she got transformed into some vicious tazelwurm hybrid, she got killed by Holger but he didn't know it was her (those who knew aren't planning on telling him that he just killed a person or he'll freak the fuck out)

- Biffy doesn't know she got killed, Lee isn't telling that information unless he wants a Biffy going nuts all over the place

- only him and Brandy know about Kimmy's death

- he can fence, he picked it up again when he saw the Secret Trio trying to train with long bladed weaponry so he tried to get some experience in being able to wield a weapon

- handles guns way better than the Secret Trio

- has the weakest punch, they all make fun of him for that

- he is the group's healer, he knew first aid very well and he isn't afraid stitch and treat a wound that is way too tender for the Secret Trio to heal

- he only knew how to stitch wounds because he experiments on his body (would it close if I do this kind of stitch? How about here, is it thin enough?)

- because of his experiments, he isn't able to register pain anymore, his poking and prodding at his skin nullified any jolt of pain

- wears gloves on his left hand because there is a lichtenberg scar on it that is colored toxic turquoise green, he ain't letting Barrage see that and be reminded of the pyramid incident

- which glows when the pyramid subconsciously gives him a power boost or something (heightened strength and senses)

- at first he tried to cover it with bandage but since it glows, it didn't work so they settled on the black glove

- excels in ranged combat

HEIGHT COMPARISON [FULL PICTURE]

[scarfacemarston]

Tbh i headcanon Sadie as bi. Obviously Jake was super important to her and we see it through not only her actions but also the way she speaks about him. Imo she was in love with that man. Though her interactions with Abigail and the other woman of the camp also eludes to some sort of attraction there too. As a queer woman myself (I don’t really like to label myself as I get too in my head about it) I relate to Sadie and how she is as a person. I do also want to add though, the problem allot of fandoms have when it comes to more masculine women and the argument that about on if they are gay or not. Straight women can be masculine the same way queer women can be feminine. I think arguing about whether or not a woman is gay only off of how “masculine” she is feels very odd and gross to me. TLDR: I love Sadie and people need to stop arguing with each other over headcanons <3

I agree about head canoning Sadie as bi and how she viewed Jake! People base what's masc or femme or not too much on looks or personality instead of someone's entire being. Sadie is an entire person. She shouldn't be reduced to such a question. She might have some masc traits. Some have called it "butch" traits in the fandom. I'm not sure what I would call it because I tend to be more gender neutral on a lot of things. I think it's the idea that there "HAS" to be a "man" in the relationship and a "woman" in a wlw relationship. People do it with mlm relationships, too. The thing is, it's reductive. Like, Abigail may be a wife and a mother, but people shouldn't reduce her to that feminine role. Sadie is an example of how being a wife can appear differently. It's no less or more feminine. Gender Identity is so flexible and it was certainly flexible in the "Old West". I agree there is too much stock put into masc vs feminine. I think representation is important, but stereotyping and placing hetronormative ideas of "who is the man and who is the woman" is wrong.

I also agree that arguing over hc's is ridiculous. Unless it's legit harmful, live and let live.

[intoduskoutofdawn]

Uhhhh.... cna Phil just go with Jake?

That depends ...

Shopping? Sure, why not? Although, Jake gets very impatient - especially when it comes to clothes.

To the movies? Definitely, but they got to let Phil pick because if Jake does it and the movie sucks - he's never gonna hear the end of it. "What the hell was that?" - "How am I supposed to know that beforehand?!" -" You can really pick'em." - "I picked you, didn't I?" - "Well, even a blind man may perchance hit the mark."

For a walk? That happens. Phil really enjoys going for long walks, Jake didn't think much of them but has grown to enjoy accompanying him.

To party? That's a pickle. Jake hates the bad air, the noise, and many people surrounding him. Phil doesn't really enjoy parties either, though he's the much better people person in general (fun fact: really hates dancing, but is actually a good dancer - therefore gets asked way to often). So they try to avoid the parties but occasionally end up on one.

Insane? Ouh, yes. Jake can basically break out in hour long rants about this and that, mostly it's related to computing and decoding - so Phil doesn't even know what he is talking about. Then it's time to distract the hacker, either with a totally unrelated comment on something else - that usually irritates him, and he bursts into laughter. Or you know, Phil just has his ways to make Jake think of something else. The bar owner, on the other hand, goes insane over any form of injustice (he's a bit traumatized by his unjustified arrest). But Jake actually adores that and helps him to get all the deposit bottles and cans from the Aurora to the recycling center and get the money usually to the animal rescue.

To therapy? Maybe they should, I mean there is no lack of issues. But then the therapist would probably point out that their issues actually make them such a good match and that this is called a compulsive or colliding unity and so on and so on... let's just call it love and be done with it.

On the run? (I know that is what you were asking in the first place ;) )

No. Sorry. Definitely not. Phil has a business and believe it or not, he also wouldn't leave his sister alone there. But it's okay, Jake knows that and would never ask him to abandon his life. Jake is the more flexible one, and he makes it work somehow.

Thank you so much for the ask, I had fun with that one! ;) I hope, I didn't disappoint you. Have a great day. 🖤🤍🖤🤍

[suburbanbonfire]

hockey tag game 🏒

Tagged by @jules-of-the-deep thank you!!!!

rules: list your...

✨️ no°1 team?

Seattle Kraken!!! First team I ever watched and I got sucked right into their delightful and slightly damp vibes! Soon to be first team I ever see in person and I'm so fucking excited. Narrowly followed by my hometown Pittsburgh Old Mans whomst I am retroactively filled with nostalgia for and who I will be getting to see a bit later this year if things go to plan.

💌 your favorite goalie?

God, like, almost all of them?? I love Joey and Grubi endlessly even though Joey is averaging about 3 heart attacks per game for me, and Fluery I will never tire of, I think he's genuinely such a fun person and stand-up guy. Juuse Saros, Jake Oettinger, and the Swaymark duo are also up there on the list.

🔟what would be your jersey number?

Either 29 or 11. 29 is my birthday and a lot of very cool players share that number, and 11 is my lucky number.

👯🏻‍♂️what team would you love to play for?

In the made up universe in my head where I can actually stop on skates without becoming a bug on the windshield of the boards, I am saving the Pittsburgh Penguins from themselves. Tbh, I would want to be a goalie despite never having accomplished more than a 90 degree angle flexibility.

❤️‍🔥who is your favorite player currently?

Ohhh I'm very partial to Brandon Tanev, although I've got a soft-spot for all the former-Pens on the Kraken. I follow him on Instagram and he posts like an old man, it's very charming.

👀a trade that hurt you emotionally?

I have not really had skin in the game long enough to have been hurt by a trade. Thankfully none of the guys the Kraken lost in FA were ones I was super attached to, but I'm sure this year's offseason will be a horrible experience.

In a different vein, I do feel a sadness at the Bergeron retirement that's like, regret I came in at the very last exhale of his career. I wish I had gotten into hockey sooner so I could've really seen him play.

��� what is your experience on hockeyblr so far?

Very good!! I originally posted my stuff here because my stuff was like invisible on Twitter Since then I've gotten some traction on twitter but LET ME TELL YOU, there are HATERS on twitter who are not afraid to tell you to your face. There are haters here too but you're much funnier about it. The community has been really great so far!!

and then tag some mutuals you'd like to know these about ☺️🏒🖤

uhhh tagging @stillfertile @fusionmix and @david-reinbacher if you would like to because y'alls tags always make me laugh!!!

[braveblackbutterfly]

The main characters from my old original supernatural romance novel, Supernaturally Human

Note: I was going to list more characters, but I got tired. I might add more characters at a later date.

**

Name: Wendi North

Race/Ethnicity: Black

Gender/Pronouns: Cis Woman; She/Her

Sexual/Romantic Orientation: Hetero(flexible)

Age: 20

Species: Witch

Family: Sister-Jasmine, Brother-Marcus, Aunt-Cassie, Uncle-Jake, Cousin-Kesia

Best Friends: Raquel and Asia

Love Interest: Trevor

Physical description: 5’4” height, dark brown tone, long black corkscrew curls, dark brown eyes, curvy figure

Personality: mature, kind, guarded at times (due to some traumatic events) but also open-minded (more so than most witches but less than Trevor), determined, humble, independent, introverted

*

Name: Trevor Dalton  

Race/Ethnicity: White

Gender/Pronouns: Cis Man; He/Him

Sexual/Romantic Orientation: Hetero(flexible) [No vampire is truly hetero]

Age: 23 (when turned) Years as a vamp: 58 years

Species: Vampire

Family: Half Sister-Viviana  

Best Friends: Cameron

Love Interest: Wendi

Physical description: 5’7” height, slightly pale tone, medium length wavy tapered cut red hair, emerald green eyes, lean/slender figure

Personality: Mature, dedicated, open-minded (more so than Wendi and most vampires), determined, attentive, confident, extroverted

Note: rest of the main characters in the keep reading

Name: Kesia North

Race/Ethnicity: Black

Gender/Pronouns: Cis Woman; She/Her

Sexual/Romantic Orientation: Uses no labels  

Age: 22

Species: Witch

Family: Mom-Cassie, Dad-Jake, Cousins-Wendi, Jasmine, Marcus

Best Friends: unknown (besides her cousins)

Love Interest: Cameron

Physical description: 5’3” height, very dark brown tone, short pixie orange and black hair at the start of the book (changes hairstyles/color throughout the book), light brown eyes, wears long acrylic nails, wears a nose ring and a lip ring, has a tattoo of a raven on her right arm, slender figure

Personality: assertive, fun/likes to party, confident, independent, very straightforward, extroverted

*

Name: Jasmine North

Race/Ethnicity: Black

Gender/Pronouns: Cis Woman; She/Her

Sexual/Romantic Orientation: Identified as hetero at the start of the book; later comes as a bisexual   

Age: 24

Species: Witch

Family: Sister-Wendi, Brother-Marcus, Aunt-Cassie, Uncle-Jake, Cousin-Kesia

Best Friends: unknown (besides her sister and cousin)

Love Interest(s): Sean, Viviana  

Physical description: 5’5” height, light brown tone, long black box braids, dark brown eyes, slender figure

Personality: assertive, independent, direct, uptight, introverted

*

Name: Viviana Hill  

Race/Ethnicity: Biracial (half black, half white)

Gender/Pronouns: Cis Woman; She/Her  

Sexual/Romantic Orientation: Lesbian  

Age: 25 (when turned) Years as a vamp: 58 years

Species: Vampire

Family: Half Brother-Trevor

Best Friends: Cameron

Love Interest: Ashley, Jasmine

Physical description: 5’6” height, tanned/faintly brown tone, long straight dyed red hair, emerald green eyes, hourglass figure

Personality: bold, confident, flirty/charming, fun, loyal, extroverted

*

Name: Cameron Fuller

Race/Ethnicity: Black

Gender/Pronouns: Cis Man; He/Him

Sexual/Romantic Orientation: Hetero [isn’t flexible yet]

Age: 24 (when turned) Years as a vamp: 58 years

Species: Vampire

Family: unknown

Best Friends: Trevor and Viviana

Love Interest: Kesia

Physical description: 5’6” height, paled brown tone, black buzzcut hair, amber eyes, athletic build

Personality: ambitious, confident, charming, fun, easygoing/laid back, dependable, humorous, extroverted   

[sapphire-weapon]

Do you think Leon is at his prime in RE4make? In terms of his physicality and also mentally? Like combat sharpness? Or do you think he gets better with time?

Physically in terms of his combat aptitude, yes. Absolutely.

I have this thing in my head called the "Krauser Test." I measure an RE character's aptitude by whether or not I think they would be able to beat Krauser, or if he'd just tear them apart. Krauser is so outrageously agile, and he's so physically strong, and he's so strategically brilliant that it takes a very special kind of person to take him down.

Only three protags pass the Krauser Test.

RE5 Jill -- specifically and only her from RE5.

RE5 and RE6 Chris

RE4 Leon

(I guess Jake would probably pass, too, but like -- he's Wesker's unholy spawn, so he's cheating.)

(and before someone goes "Ada in Separate Ways!" no. the version of Krauser that she fought was basically mindless and was way slower than he was in his fight with Leon. Basically, yeah, Ada took the lid off the jar, but Leon loosened it for her.)

Anyone else gets fucking annihilated. I don't think even Piers passes the Krauser Test.

Chris slows down after RE6 -- a lot. Without a Big Fucking Gun at his disposal, I think Krauser would take him down. Chris would put up one hell of a fight, but his reaction time isn't what it used to be, and he doesn't move as fast as he'll need to.

Same principle with Leon. RE6 Leon might, at best, end up in a stalemate with Krauser just based on the fact that he might be able to out-think him, but he wouldn't win.

Mentally, no. When Leon starts to physically slow down, he compensates by becoming more clever. After RE4, Leon starts using the environment to his advantage way more than he ever did previously, and he's always looking for some way to get an edge in a fight, since he knows he can't brute force his way through shit like he used to when he was 27.

Like, Leon never becomes a lumbering old man like Chris kinda is by the time of RE8 -- he still remains quick and sharp and flexible -- but I really can't see DI Leon pulling off the kind of insane acrobatics that he did back in RE4.

[docrotten]

EARTH VS. THE SPIDER (1958) – Episode 193 – Decades of Horror: The Classic Era

“Bring your bug juice and let’s go!” Wait. Are spiders bugs? Shouldn’t they be using spider juice? Join this episode’s Grue-Crew – Daphne Monary-Ernsdorff, Chad Hunt, Doc Rotten, and Jeff Mohr – as they figure out which juice should be used against the giant creature in Earth vs. the Spider (1958)!

Decades of Horror: The Classic Era Episode 193 – Earth vs. the Spider (1958)

Join the Crew on the Gruesome Magazine YouTube channel! Subscribe today! And click the alert to get notified of new content! https://youtube.com/gruesomemagazine

ANNOUNCEMENT Decades of Horror The Classic Era is partnering with THE CLASSIC SCI-FI MOVIE CHANNEL, THE CLASSIC HORROR MOVIE CHANNEL, and WICKED HORROR TV CHANNEL Which all now include video episodes of The Classic Era! Available on Roku, AppleTV, Amazon FireTV, AndroidTV, Online Website. Across All OTT platforms, as well as mobile, tablet, and desktop. https://classicscifichannel.com/; https://classichorrorchannel.com/; https://wickedhorrortv.com/

Teenagers from a rural community and their high school science teacher join forces to battle a giant mutant spider.

Directed by: Bert I. Gordon

Writing Credits: (screenplay by) László Görög (as Laszlo Gorog) and George Worthing Yates; (story by) Bert I. Gordon

Produced by: Samuel Z. Arkoff (executive producer), James H. Nicholson (executive producer), Bert I. Gordon (producer), Henry Schrage (assistant producer)

Music by: Albert Glasser

Cinematography by: Jack A. Marta (director of photography) (as Jack Marta)

Selected Cast:

Ed Kemmer as Professor Art Kingman

June Kenney as Carol Flynn

Eugene Persson as Mike Simpson (as Gene Persson)

Gene Roth as Sheriff Cagle

Hal Torey as Mr. Simpson

June Jocelyn as Mrs. Jack Flynn

Mickey Finn as Sam Haskel

Sally Fraser as Mrs. Helen Kingman

Troy Patterson as Joe

Skip Young as Sam the Bass Player

Howard Wright as Jake

Bill Giorgio as Deputy Sheriff Pete Sanders

Hank Patterson as Hugo the Janitor

Jack Kosslyn as Mr. Fraser

Bob Garnet as Pest Control Man

Shirley Falls as Switchboard Operator

Robert Tetrick as Deputy Sheriff Dave (as Bob Tetrick)

Nancy Kilgas as Dancer

George Stanley as Man in Cavern

David Tomack as Power Line Foreman

Merritt Stone as Jack Flynn

James Burton as Teenager in Band (uncredited)

Dick D’Agostin as Pianist (uncredited)

The Classic Era Grue Crew go B-I-G for this episode! Yes, it’s time for some Bert I. Gordon! For the Decades of Horror’s fourth excursion into BIG territory, the crew crawls all over Earth vs. the Spider (1958), also known as The Spider. Gordon uses his usual visual effects techniques to achieve the “50 tons of creeping black horror” as advertised, and, as usual, scales may vary. Gordon gets an assist from Paul Blaisdell with a hairy spider leg and a desiccated body. Throw in a fearless high school girl and her dumb boyfriend, their 35-year-old classmate, their science teacher, a goofy sheriff, and a brawny construction foreman, and viewers get exactly what they expect in a B.I.G. extravaganza. What a fun talkabout!

At the time of this writing, Earth vs. the Spider (1958) is available to stream from the Classic Sci-Fi Movie Channel, the Classic Horror Movie Channel, Wicked Horror TV, Shudder, AMC+, Prime, Tubi, and Crackle. The film is available on physical media as a Blu-ray disc from Shout Factory. 

Gruesome Magazine’s Decades of Horror: The Classic Era records a new episode every two weeks. Next in their very flexible schedule – this one chosen by Chad – is Them! (1954). The Classic Era Grue Crew is on a big-bug-roll and this might be the granddaddy of them all!

Please let them know how they’re doing! They want to hear from you – the coolest, grooviest fans: leave them a message or leave a comment on the Gruesome Magazine YouTube channel, the site, or email the Decades of Horror: The Classic Era podcast hosts at feedback@gruesomemagazine.com

To each of you from each of them, “Thank you so much for watching and listening!”

Check out this episode!

[drjacquescoulardeau]

FAT – FATTER – FATTEST – FATIGUE

They say ”fat” is a disease, and yet I do not understand why so many people who have been fat all their lives, suddenly lose a tremendous amount of weight when they get old. I always think of Ronny Coutteure who had made the choice of getting obese because, as an actor, there was a fair demand of fat actors, and he liked it. Born in 1951, he died in 2000 at the age of 49.

This series also contains a mystery. Alan Campbell is Assistant D.A. Derek Mitchell. He is always used marginally and several times, but not many, he is entrusted with a case in court, and I do not remember any really brilliant victory. Mediocre result or failure. We have to say his boss, the Fatman, alias J.L. McCabe does not trust him very much and does not push him up in his career, though he knows he, as an obese and even ever getting more obese D.A., will need a successor soon and his assistant should be his privileged choice.

Another mystery: what did this actor Alan Campbell become? Not much indeed if we ask IMDb, not much at all, a lot more with Wikipedia, but mostly what they call “guest-starring,” those apparitions for one very limited part in TV episodes, but no main parts, no real characters the actor could be associated with, and very few films. He probably made a clean income over the years, but he will probably only survive as Assistant D.A. in Los Angeles and Hawaii with The Fatman and Jake: five full seasons, practically all the episodes. True enough, he has been kept within very rather narrow limits by his Boss, McCabe. He could have done more.

Joe Penny, alias Jake Styles did a lot more and better. His IMDb page is impressive, just as much as his Wikipedia page. His great quality is that he is flexible and can intervene in many situations that can be very different and this within two minutes on the screen, from one sequence to the next. He is a perfect hypocrite when questioning people and a monster when dealing with those that dare be bad losers. It is obvious he is English by origin. Maybe this series overused his naked backside in sexual situations a little bit too much, at least in the first three seasons. That’s a cliché of American detective stories of any kind. The “sheriff” or one of his deputies is nothing but a sex-machine. Check Banshee for example. I do wonder why Columbo did not fall into the trap. But the English characters on this line, like Hercule Poirot or Sherlock Holmes, never did that kind of bed gymnastics because they are English, of course, so no sex, please.

Éditions La Dondaine, Medium.com, 2023

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Do you find it odd at all that the series has very few chronological markers? In 54, we find out the series took place over roughly three years. But in 54 books, it is never Christmas, Halloween, Fourth of July, Easter, etc. They make very few references even to summer vacation. The only Animorph to ever have a birthday (to my recollection, anyway) is Tobias in 23 with the whole thing about Aria and his dad's will.

So my ask here is really three parts.

1. Why do you think they avoided specific time-of-year references in a series that all the same assumes a natural passage of time between books?

2. If you could pick a specific time of year to be Animorph-mission relevant what would it be? Kids going trick-or-treating in costume? Using the cacophony and distraction of Independence Day fireworks to do [something]? A giant community egg hunt organized by the Sharing?

3. Totally random, but if you could pick dates (or at least Zodiac signs) for the human Animorphs, what would they be? Bonus for trying to translate Ax's Andalite date of birth in another star system to the conventions of our terrestrial calendar.

Answer 1: I assume the lack of specific time markers is primarily a way to give the series more flexibility. There are a ton of drawbacks and fewer benefits to tying books down to exact seasons. If K.A.A. et al. write a book set in late October with a whole motif around Halloween, then any little change to the publication timing — adding Ax to the narrator rotation, delaying the release of this month's book for a different promotion, Scholastic switching the release order for a Megamorphs — will make the book look weird and out of place, and might force it to be edited or even cancelled last-minute. This happens occasionally with Hollywood movies, like when Iron Man 3 had a whole motif about Christmas but got released in May, and it's never a great look.

Not only that, but not getting too specific about what weather occurs when outside of "we got hot" or "the air felt cold" also allows the setting to be more flexible. A bunch of us fandalites have talked about how much fun it was to imagine the Animorphs fighting the yeerks in the next town over, whatever the next town over happened to be for the kid reading. I used to imagine the books taking place on the Jersey Shore, and other people have mentioned Kansas City, Portland, central Florida... If there's specific information about "it's October, so the snow is coming soon" or "we're tanning on the beach in February" then that narrows the location too much too fast.

Answer 2: I love the idea of the Sharing going all-in on the ultra-capitalist Seasons we have in the U.S.: Halloween Season, Christmas Season, 4th of July Season. I don't know if the Animorphs would be hypersensitive to fireworks or not — they're a trigger for most veterans specifically because they're explosions and sound like gunshots — but I also don't think that the Animorphs would particularly like Memorial Day or Independence Day as a result.

Other than that, I've headcanoned that the thing with Jake and his parents being out of town in #37 is because it's Rosh Hashanah — if some of Jake's grandparents are very traditional, that could explain Jake feeling he has to travel that weekend. While we're at it, I imagine #5 taking place near Day of the Dead, because Marco mentions Eva's presence being felt so intensely by both him and his dad throughout those few weeks.

Answer 3: I think Marco would totally be that guy who would troll about the Zodiac. Like, if anyone asks what his sign is, he'd say "Guess!" and whatever the person comes out with, say "How'd you know?" If caught out in the lie, he'd switch to saying he's an Andromeda, and then a Sextans, and then a Camelopardalis...

Rachel would of course get in on the fun, and announce her Zodiac is Ursa Major. And anyone who disagrees gets to meet her inner Ursus arctos horribilis.

[ravenbloodshot]

How Enhypen members view each other....(PT.2)

Sunghoon (pov)

Jay

Positive traits: feisty, not afraid to bite back, gives the same energy given to him, consistent, sharp and perceptive, open minded, big goals and big dreams, smart, great teacher and student, moves fast (dances fast, intensely)

Negative traits: can act innocent and angelic when he's really not, appears as if he couldn't hurt a fly but truly he could if he wanted to, lacks confidence and self esteem issues, gets into bad relationships, egotistical, jealous, doesn't take his own advice

Jake

Positive traits: confident and sure of himself, knows his path in life, doesn't care what others think, generally unphased and unconcerned guy, (these two are really good friends), not afraid of being vulnerable in front of members, good at not putting too much pressure on himself, independent, doesn't stay where he's not wanted, knows his worth

Negative traits: too passionate and aggressive, hot headed, can say hurtful words when angry, stubborn, intimidates others, too intense, egotistical, bad at putting himself in others shoes, does stupid things, blinded by beauty, player, not open to committal love

Heesung

Positive traits: fatherly, gives good advice, warm and approachable, good listener, caring, takes care of others(silently), not aggressive, Sunghoon loves to talk to him or just listen to him speak

Negative traits: gossipy, loud, bad at keeping his promises, runs late a lot of the times, not open to committal love, has too much of an active night life(party boy), can be too shy, doesn't speak up for himself

Niki

Warning: What Sunghoon loves about Niki is the same things he hates about him

Positive traits: Intense, straightforward, to the point, doesn't beat around the bush, knows how to stick up for himself, a good fighter(idk if Niki does martial arts), talented dancer, very flexible, knows how to say no, competitive, feisty, clever, works smarter not harder

Negative traits: Feisty, aggressive, lashes out on others, not approachable, not playful or one to joke around with, too serious, lone wolf, complains a lot, doesn't know how to have fun and live in the moment

Jungwon

Positive traits: Can be personable and soft, safe and not intimidating, perceptive, good listener and communicator, mediator (knows how to see both sides), smart, business savvy, traditional and very family oriented

Negative traits: can prey on those weaker than him, aggressive, forceful and demanding, Doesn't know when to stop and rest, puts too much pressure on himself, doesn't know how to live a little, cold and detached

Sunoo

Positive traits: (these two are just co-workers), knows how to get attention, doesn't have to work as hard as others, star power, good with time management, knows his body well

Negative traits: basic, fake, superficial, pretends to be innocent when he's not, runs from his problems, overly emotional, inconsistent, doesn't keep the same energy

.......

Niki (pov)

Jay

Positive traits: Good at multitasking, good friend, loyal, trustworthy, good person, follows his gut feeling, intuitive, realistic, patient, calm and relaxed

Negative traits: stubborn, lazy, aggressive, hot headed, bad tempered, lacks confidence, curses a lot, doesn't express himself well

Jake

Positive traits: star power, stubborn, ladies man, risk taker, doesn't care about what others think of him, makes moves without talking too much about it (secretive), he's all action no talk, Outside of the box, open minded, unique

Negative traits: too energetic, inconsistent, ghosts people, doesn't stay in one spot for too long (ditches others often), impatient, gets bored easily, hates small talk, egotistical, prideful, player

Heesung

Positive traits: (these two are pretty close, bff material), passionate, strong, leadership qualities, sacrifices himself for others, grooms himself well, good style, good eating habits, practices a lot of self love, caring

Negative traits: moody, doesn't speak up for himself, can be too passive, boring at times(acts like an old man), dismissive of others, delusional at times, unrealistic expectations, suffers in silence

Sunghoon

Positive traits: Masculine, aggressive and passionate, warm and comforting, wears his heart on his sleeve, trustworthy, loving, takes care of others, sharing and giving with money

Negative traits: Inconsistent, dramatic, puts too much pressure on himself, over works himself, chaotic, bad at remembering things, bad with time, overly romantic, wears rose colored glasses, too imaginative and dreamy not enough acting on his thoughts

Jungwon

Positive traits: (these two are close), good communicator, talkative, talented vocally, creative, strong boundaries, charming, loving and caring

Negative traits: manipulative, deceptive, sneaky, vengeful, prejudice, holds onto a lot of hurt from the past, runs from his problems, holds grudges

Sunoo

Positive traits: about his money, talkative, patriotic, fast paced, doesn't stay stuck on the past, hard worker, ladies man, seductive and charming, knows how to have fun, knows how to take charge

Negative traits: prideful, egotistical, superficial, can play dumb or say stupid things, projects a lot, dishonest, lazy and slow