#Jackoff All Trades

[lovehotelreservation]

You feel like you've been out of shape lately, unable to keep up with Vash when things turned sour. Vash being the sweet and mindful plant he is decided on creating a new training regimen for the both of you (Full nelson, marathon sex).

"I know we've been at this for a while, but you're doing so great!!! We'll be on equal level in no time!!! I promise you!!! We can treat ourselves to all the donuts after this!!!"

Easier for Vash to say.

After all, he wasn't the one to have remained suspended up off of the ground, legs and arms immobilized by solid muscle and sturdy metal, and drooling core stuffed and fed with thick cock and sticky cum for what felt like hours at this point.

But it wasn't as if you were complaining.

To have Vash holding you so tight and secure like this, his hands clasped behind your head and his arms hooked underneath your thighs, your back pressed against this scarred chiseled chest, all while his lips offered you encouragement to your ear and kisses to your neck--it was nothing short of bliss.

Though what was undoubtedly certain was that he was going to have to carry you over to the donut shop after this.

[oswednesday]

jackoff of all trades

[legoyuri]

Guy who has 1 million hobbies with no good way 2 monitize 😭😭😭 jackoff all trades ya know?

[fishboneart]

Fishbone #003

does stylejacking real? and does it matter?

38 layers, 37 source images. This Creature sees without recognising, reads without understanding. It likely wouldn't be able to see this image properly because of all the transparencies I used, it would read a lot of artifacts that are not readily apparent to the human eye. One asshole abusing transparencies isn't actually enough to fuck up a model and individualist action won't change anything, I just think it's a neat concept for this piece to incorporate. I also squeezed in a few comments about how it doesn't know what things are so it bleeds them together.

I put all the little pictures on the screens but I'm not going to make a big fuss about it.

It turns out the reasons I'm not scared of machine learning jacking my style need multiple posts and this one relates the most to the art I just posted so it's going first.

The thing about style is, you know the thing that you hate about your art--not the technical stuff, the thing that makes it look like it was made by you no matter how good it is? That's your style, dummy. You don't need to protect it, you just need to stop trying to overcome it.

"Manga" and "photorealism" and whatever else people call styles around here are eminently replicable, millions of people replicate them every day. They're "styles" but they're not your style. They're more like genres.

It feels important to note at the top that I absolutely understand that people who make their living in highly replicable styles (genres) are scared and angry about the economic threat ML poses them, and they have every right to be. I'm with them, the parasitic owning class will take any opportunity to fuck a worker and artists are workers. None of what I'm about to say solves artist precarity, and it's not a dismissal of it. It's an important issue and I will come back to it another day.

But for now I want to talk about the more ephemeral and personal artistic notion of style. Some people call it hand, rather than style. Maybe we should use that more.

However, I'm still going to say stylejacking because handjacking sounds like something very different.

So this is not about robots stealing your job (or beating your meat), this is about robots stealing your mojo, and why I think it's the wrong thing to be scared of.

If you take the average of a million manga girls, you theoretically get an ideal manga girl. And again, if you've worked hard to be a manga artist it sucks a lot that any jackoff with enough GPU power can make a hundred ideal manga girls now, I'm not saying don't be upset.

I'm saying the aspects of your art that can be easily replicated have already been replicated in large enough volume to generate that ideal average. Any jackoff with enough discipline can do it.

Yet there are relatively few human jackoffs who can mimic individual artists' hands convincingly enough to actually make a trade of counterfeiting, and even fewer who can mimic multiple artists to that level, so it's never really been this kind of huge existential threat before. Well it turns out, based on my observations in the wild, machine learning doesn't seem to be all that great at it either. I'm starting to suspect it's overhyped, like everything else about machine learning.

If you go on ai art sharing sites and search for Junji Ito, you will find Ideal Manga Girl But Black & White, you will find Photorealism With Spirals And Goo, and you will find very little that even passingly looks like an effort to emulate Juni Ito's mixed lines, unsettling compositions, uncanny faces, or impeccably fucked up vibes.

Essentially when you tell a machine learning model to produce an image of a manga girl in the style of Junji Ito, the model identifies what traits [manga girl] refers to, and what traits [Junji Ito] applies to, and cooks them together. The underlying architecture of the image is effectively a manga girl averaged from thousands, maybe millions of different images, with averaged composition and averaged line weights and averaged features and averaged vibes. Applying traits of a few hundred Junji Ito images to it (black & white, dense hatching, severe shading, spirals) doesn't result in a Junji Ito girl.

You can add weight to push more of the Junji Ito traits into the output, but even then you don't get something that looks convincingly like Junji Ito drew it, not even when you recreate famous Junji Ito panels.

Talking about this in terms of averages is actually also incorrect and misleading but in spite of that I think (hope) this is a better description than "collage machine" or "smooshing images together."

I know that right now this technology is the worst it will ever be, but I genuinely think this limitation might be intrinsic to how it functions. Machine learning models don't have the capacity to understand what they "see" so the best interpretation of any artist's hand they can ever return is cliches.

I'm not saying stylejacking isn't possible at all, fuck if I know, I saw some pretty good Beksiński-style pieces a while back. But that's the thing, when you look at them you don't go hey cool pic, you go oh yeah that's pretty good Beksiński style. Because Beksiński is so fucking Beksiński.

Even after all the tweaking and weighting you can do, once you've finally output a competent mimicry of Beksiński or Junji Ito or Mike Mignola or HR Giger, then what? That's all you've done. People will look at it and think of that artist. You haven't replaced them, you've advertised them.

The novelty of "What if Junji Ito drew Will Smith eating spaghetti" has a limited shelf life and no major commercial value. It certainly doesn't help advance the argument that machine learning is a legitimate art tool (not touching that, maybe another post another day). I think it will largely die off in a few horrible horrible years, assuming climate change doesn't wreck us first.

[qvirkycrxxtvre]

Dear Reader diary ass post blog thing

I’m like constantly bothered I never figured out orgasms like I told myself I would do it before ever getting pregnant like idk like I wanted it to be a threshold like okay if someone takes the time to figure that out with me then I’ll have his babies but literally no lol my husband has no interest or understanding on how to do that and whereas I’m free to figure that out independently it’s like, lame bc I realize like

I still feel like I’m mildly missing out or something idk like I’ll always be reflecting on the times from before I got married where I knew I got wet and it was a whole thing I used to be like, through my jeans wet back in the day fooling around in cars at like 19 but I was just so so afraid of getting pregnant (I guess like, it’s always on my mind and since I didn’t get proper sex ed bc purity culture and conservative parents ,,) it was just very like, idk I thought that’s what happened when people had sex so I wasn’t going to need to figure out sex until I wanted that to happen

So I fucking waited and did the whole damn thing like okay I’ll figure it out with my husband

but it’s like damn now it’s literally I either figure it out independently or nothing and like I kinda do right like it’s not impossible the way it was once like a concept and not a physical thing I could describe

but its like idfk I play DnD right and our friend the DM that we jokingly call Daddy Master

when dude was like “GAH I’m like full of testerterone rn” and I was trippin balls on mushrooms fucking coping w ovulation like I had to fight every fiber in my being from being like

God what I wouldn’t give to get fucking railed by you rn and let you take that out on me

Even if it’s not even like /for me/ I feel like if I got the chance to be fucked really good like, maybe I’d figure out orgasms. But like. Alas.

Bruh I get all annoyed tryna come up w reasons to set that up, like I was like oh what if I pitch swinging or whatever the upside down pineapple people be doin but then I realized my husband would also need to be useful to trade not just me? Like I literally caught him on Ashley fucking Madison whilst I was pregnant like my brain tells me he wouldn’t be super against it but I know that’s not true like his kink is literal monogamy or some shit and he was only on there to look at stuff that felt more secret like idk that sounds unreal but my husband didn’t even have his profile set to near us , I know he had no intent to leave or whatever and we talked it out and said like if he needs whatever online we’re fine we just have to tell each other before doing shit w other people

But like neither of us have budged or tried it idk

I know in my heart he’s abiding by our rules and that I should just tell him that I’m going insane and can’t be around our guy friends whilst ovulating bc it makes me wanna implode bc I sincerely like

Dude I went years forgetting I could get wet bc I just like idk wet sexually inactive the past however many years I’ve been married but like

It all still works

I masturbate and can soak my side of the bed like I remember being like /fuck this’ll be cool when I have sex/ and it just never ever got to happen

Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh

Off to go jackoff to y’all’s dirty posts

I hate that I don’t understand it like I feel too old to be this virginal I feel like this is such a waste of good cunt like

Dude my mouth too like I had a really rough fight w bulimia as a teen so I got like no gag reflex like I can swallow some big cock hypothetically

Ugh I hate knowing I know multiple of my guy friends have giant cocks I get to do nothing about

Also bc more often than not, like, I befriend rather good men. So whereas I look at them as a piece of meat in my head, these are kinda just like

Average husband type whatever guys

That like no one seems to fucking want like why are my guy friends single

I feel like I would stop fucking them in my head if I wasn’t the only married one right like I would have double guilt or something bc I’d be wronging another woman?

Not to say I don’t feel bad and like I’m wronging my husband for mentally fucking friends like obviously there’s some 10 commandments shit about being just as bad imagining fucking your neighbors wife as doing the action itself

I think

Idk did I already write this? Oh whale. You’ll see I repeat myself a lot. A lot of my life is repetitive. Ugh.

[snoppy]

jackoff all trades master of cum

[jmdbjk]

Yo

Psst. It’s me:

Name: Yo mama. Not really. But if I told you, I’d have to kill you. Just kidding. You can call me jmdbjk. Or Ferg. Ferg works too.  

Sign: Aquarius. (sings very off-key: ...it’s the dawning of the age of Aquarius..) Not now though. We are way past the dawn of that age. That was actually back in 1970 or whatever year that song came out ... 1969... so now we may be getting to the late afternoon of Aquarius. Or maybe we’re already in next week of Aquarius...who knows. BUT!! the opening lyric IS: “When the MOON is in the Seventh House” ...so there’s that. 

Time: 6:54 p.m. when I began typing this. Let’s see how long it takes for me to finish. I can be long-winded...

Birfday: February 13. Yes, I share the magic number. 

Favorite band/artist: Duh... but before BTS it was a very eclectic mix. Seventies, 80′s, disco, rock, classic rock, alt rock, country, pop, dance, you name it, I have it. From Aerosmith and Alan Jackson to Yes and ZZ Top. 

Last movie: hmmm... hmmm.   (thinks) ... (looks at my netflix saved list, nothing there)... hmm.. (looks at my Apple tv saved list)... OHH!! it was ISLE OF DOGS!!! damn, that was 3 or 4 years ago. An animated movie set in Japan, follows a boy's odyssey in search of his lost dog. It was pretty good in an artsy fartsy, quirky way. I don’t watch movies often. Obviously once every 4 years or longer. 

Last show: Run BTS Telepathy Pt. 1. Before that it was the episode of Our Blues with Jimin’s song With You. I don’t watch television either. Ever. Except that one episode of Our Blues. 

When you created this blog: I think I created it in August of 2021 so it’s been a year. My first post was Oct. 15, 2021. 

What you post: The pandemonium in my head. Whatever is on my mind. I write as a way to get rid of the excess that’s constantly swirling in my brain. And since last summer, my brain has been obsessed with BTS and Jimin, Jungkook and everything surrounding them. Actually, on the outside, I am very calm. But I love words and I like to write and I have a lot to say to no one in particular. HOWEVER! I am also a very very good listener. 

Other blogs: Long forgotten but also served a similar purpose as an outlet for me to express whatever was going on at the time.

Followers: 479. How on earth? Thank you for visiting my little space I created here! I do appreciate you all. Except you...YOU! you Kookie hater, go away. It’s ok, I blocked you so there, I did you a favor. 

Do you get asks: Yes, some of them are actually asks. 

Average hours of sleep: 6. Can function on 5 hours until late afternoon then its downhill from there. My  eyeballs prefer 8 hours but for some reason the rest of my body/brain says nope, too bad.  

Instruments: of creativity. I use instruments of creativity...pencil, brush, filters, words, fonts, colors, all digital of course.

What I’m wearing: oh, dang, I should have changed clothes before sitting down. I am wearing what I wore to work, a pair of skinny black pants and a dark teal t-shirt. With the appropriate undergarments. Barefooted because I kicked off my black leather platform sandals across the room. 

Dream job: Well, actually, I already worked at a few of my dream jobs... retail advertising was my first job out of college so I was exposed to a lot of upscale fashion and whatnot. It was a mixture of fashion illustration and photography. That was a fun job. Then I worked in creative services at a television station where I produced tv commercials. That was fun too. I won awards at that job. I have also worked for another tv production company and traveled a lot. The traveling was fun. Another dream job was working at the biggest ad agency in my city. It turned out to not be quite as fun as I thought it would. It was a good experience (that’s what we say when we are finally free from toxic workplaces but trying to remain positive). Now I am a graphic designer/art director/digital communications manager/video producing jackoff of all trades at a very large non-profit. 

Dream trip: Seoul. Period. I have traveled a lot. When I was young we lived in Canada, Australia, Singapore. I’ve been to 21 states including Hawaii. Multiple times. I’ve visited Japan and the Bahamas. Lived many years in Texas but now Louisiana is my home.

Favorite song: currently its Daydream by J-Hope. But my playlist for fitness walking is: Outro: Ego, Outro: Wings, Trivia: Just Dance, Daydream, Boy With Luv (feat. Halsey), Run BTS (the song), Dope, Boyz with Fun, Dynamite (queen), War of Hormone (don’t judge me). The beats are very crucial to keep up a fast pace. My “just listening for fun” playlist includes Mic Drop (Steve Aoki remix), My Universe (SUGA’s remix only), Airplane Pt. 2, IDOL, Serendipity, Euphoria, Trivia: Seesaw, Magic Shop, Love Maze, Make It Right, HOME, Mikrokosmos, Cypher 4, Baepsae, Daechwita, Base Line, Bad Decisions, Left and Right and others. 

Sidenote: I saw on twitter where Sungwoon will be going to do his military service on Sept. 5 and I almost started crying at work. He was crying on his V Live and I had to turn it off. I don’t even know what he was saying. So when it is the BTS members time to go I am going to be a hot mess. 

Thanks @onthecuterside for the tag! Now it’s your turn if you haven’t already been tagged: @shellbells-things, @wingzie, @ejassy​

It is now 8:23 p.m.  

And here is a present for everyone...a phone wallpaper I quickly made today because I only had four things going on at once so I had a few minutes to spare and because I needed to see these two every time I picked up my phone to look at my Tumblr notices:

[thran-duils]

Use All of Me (P.6)

Title: Use All Of Me (Part Six) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark Mob!Steve Rogers. The Avengers are heroes saving the world but in this AU, they are also permitted by the powers in charge to have less than favorable business underneath their guise of mere superheroes. Steve and Tony are at the helm, keeping their empire’s wealth in check, both devious and perilous if crossed. Steve takes a liking to the reader at a party and it may be her undoing to her autonomy choosing to go home with him. Words: 2,503 Warnings: Dark AF, angst, emotional/mental abuse, smut, breeding, death Author’s Notes: I really like writing scenes of them working because... it’s hot. So, part of this is me indulging myself.

Part Five || Part Seven || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

The crack of Steve’s fist against the man’s jaw reverberated through the room. It left the man unable to speak, his jaw broken. He laid on the ground, whimpering as the blood from him biting his tongue on impact seeped from his mouth.

Adrian stared down at the ground at the man. “Well, that was unhelpful if you wanted him to talk anymore,” he drawled, meeting Tony’s eyes calmly. Despite having been kidnapped and now being cornered in a room with Tony and Steve, their men outside, he was too calm. Much to Tony’s annoyance; he wanted him rattled.

“I don’t want to hear from him. I want to hear from you,” Tony said, flashing him a sarcastic grin. He leaned back in the chair, crossing his arms.

“Careful. You might crease that expensive suit,” Adrian sneered.

“Don’t worry. I have two more of the same at home. It’s not that big of a deal. Plus, I don’t do my own laundry, so… even less of a deal for me,” Tony quipped. “So, Adrian. Who gassed you up and made you get buck?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Cut the shit,” Steve said, danger in his tone. “You know exactly what we are talking about. Sure, we got the kid to squeal but,” he stepped closer, his arms crossed across his chest. Adrian stared up at Steve, only a flash of concern in his eyes as Steve towered over him. He leaned close and hissed, “I want to hear it from your mouth. And it’ll go better for you if you just do as I ask.”

Adrian spat in Steve’s face.

Steve stepped back, giving himself room to gear up and plant a swift kick to Adrian’s chest, sending the chair flying back. Adrian cried out as his face made impact with the cement.

“You son of a bitch!” Steve snarled, wiping at his face.

“Hmm, that was a poor choice,” Tony mused. Adrian stared up at him from the ground, wincing in pain. “Hopefully Steve here didn’t break a rib. Not that I would feel bad if he had. I would’ve slit your throat if you spit in my face. So, you’re going to stay down there for now since you got yourself in that position. Let me repeat myself: what made you think you could fuck with us? Try to screw with our operation? Hmm?”

Adrian shot Tony a defiant look and Tony sighed, knowing what was coming. “I think there are a great many others that would come gunning for you, Stark. Maybe think about that.”

Rolling his eyes, Tony yelled over his shoulder, “We’ve got a problem!”

The door opened and Wanda walked into the room, her eyes fixed on Adrian lying on the ground. Adrian immediately stiffened, unable to hide the nervousness on his face. Tony smirked.

“Hmm, that got your attention,” Steve said.

Adrian clenched his jaw, trying to mask again but he had already shown he was uncomfortable. They had the upper hand. He stared up at Wanda, his chest rising and falling quickly. He knew what was coming, he knew what she was capable of. Her eyes were already glowing when she leaned down next to him.

Writhing, still confined, Adrian’s eyes were lost, staring at nothing. Tony relaxed back in the chair, checking his watch. Steve paced on the side of the room, watching Wanda work. She smiled wickedly before Adrian gave a violent thrash, his head making contact with the floor.

“Alright, that should be enough, right?” Steve said to Wanda’s back.

She responded, standing up, before withdrawing her power. Tony was ready, kneeling down beside Adrian. Tony grasped Adrian’s jaw as his vision cleared. He observed the tears coming from the corners of Adrian’s eyes as he gasped for air, clearly spiraling into a panic.

“You work for us now, got that? I’m tired of small fish thinking they can swim upstream. You fucked up, Adrian. You could have kept your shitty little trade and made ends meet – hell, you did more than that. I saw you got yourself a nice house for you and your hot little fiancé. You’re lucky I don’t stop by and give her a visit.” He shook his head. “You just had to go and try to steal from us. All you did was piss me the fuck off and get yourself some cops to tail you.”

He let go of Adrian roughly who was sniffling, looking broken.

“Hope it was worth it, you jackoff,” Tony muttered, fixing the cuffs on his jacket.

<> <> <>

Walking into the garage, you eyed the car. You had swiped the key from the dish in the kitchen. Bryce had protested, saying you should wait until Steve got back. You told him if he wanted to tell Steve you were taking the car, be your guest, but you were leaving to get some air. You were gambling because you were afraid if Bryce actually did get a hold of Steve that he would actually tell you that you could not go. Your prayers were answered, and Steve did not answer his phone. Bryce was uneasy and you told him you were perfectly fine driving a car, you had been doing it for years. And if driving around with the windows down was against the rules, well then, you would have that discussion with Steve when he got back. He had not explicitly told you that you could not take the car, and Bryce could not argue that. He insisted on going with you and you insisted right back you needed some time to yourself.

“I’m not gonna kill myself, if that’s what you’re worried about,” you had shot at him before walking out of the kitchen towards the garage.

This was going to be the first time in practically a month you were leaving the house grounds on your own. Being outside here, you were still surrounded by a fence.

The car you were taking was expensive, a charcoal Audi. You had to make sure you did not get a scratch on it. It practically purred when you started it up and you smiled. This was going to be fun. Rolling up to the gate, you reached out, pressing the button. The guard near the gate eyed you suspiciously and you saluted them, sarcastically. It annoyed the shit out of you that they all thought you were so fragile you could not handle going by yourself.

Although, you did plan on going pretty fast, windows down, which would cause concern. And that is what you did, whipping around the winding road out towards where you knew there was a waterfront. You had spent time googling the surrounding area; it might come in handy later.

There was still snow on top of the mountains, even at this time of year. It must look beautiful in winter.

You pulled off on a turn out and turned the car off, getting out. The wind was a reprieve from the heat, not too strong and not too weak. You walked to the guardrail, looking out over the lake below. It was breathtaking.

Thinking of your friends, you took a picture to be able to send them later. Seeing such openness was not a luxury in the city. Maybe if you showed them you were out, they would not worry as much.

You stayed out for quite some time, walking back and forth. The air helped you clear your head, losing yourself in your thoughts. You were not settled in, still contemplating how you could leave. You knew leaving while you were pregnant was not an option. If you went to a hospital, your name would be in the records and that was easily traceable. And if you did not go to a hospital, how would you give birth on your own? You needed to have the baby first. Without seeing the baby yet, you thought it would be easy to leave on your own. It is not like the baby would not be cared for. But you worried that it would end up not being easy because how could you leave an infant? As controlling as Steve was with you, would that extend to his parenting?

Cars drove by every so often, catching your attention. You knew it was probably not the safest being alone out here in a pretty isolated area. You were testing your luck. Plus, Steve would be back sooner rather than later now. You still had a drive ahead of you to go back home.

Home.

The word turned sour when you realized you had thought of Steve’s mansion as your home. It was getting easier to think of it that way and that made you feel a mixture of anger and worry.

The drive back felt like going back to a gilded cage.

Upon pulling in past the gate, you saw up ahead Steve was walking out of the garage, anger etched in his features. He was striding towards the other car where Tony was getting out of.

“Shit,” you muttered to yourself before straightening up as you drove. You needed to act as calm as possible. If you did not think this was a big deal, maybe that would cool him off.

Steve said something to Tony and Tony looked past him to the garage. That was the moment Steve heard your car, his eyes snapping to meet your gaze as you pulled up, Tony following his gaze. You gave them a small smile, pressing the garage key on your visor, before whipping the car around to start backing it into the garage.

When you turned the car off, Steve was already standing by, glowering. Tony was still standing by his car outside the garage, trying to not pay attention to the scene. He had gotten his phone out, scrolling through, his head turned downward.

He reached out, opening the door before you could do it yourself, throwing it open. “Where the hell did you go?” Steve demanded.

Feigning surprise at his anger, you said as you got out with the minimal space Steve was leaving for you to do so, “Um, I went for a drive. Up by the lake. There’s a pull out overlooking it.”

“You didn’t ask me.”

“I didn’t know I had to.”

Steve warned, his voice strained, “Don’t play dumb, Y/N. You know damn well I don’t want you going out by yourself. Especially up to an isolated place like that. Anything could happen to you.”

“Nothing happened but fine. Noted,” you said, defeated. You made to walk past him, but he lashed out, his fingers closing in around your arm.

“Ask me, Y/N. Understand?”

“Well, for reference, Bryce tried to call you because that was his first instinct. But you did not answer. And I told him I would talk to you about it when you got back. And that’s exactly what is happening.”

Steve’s grip tightened and you winced. You were not leaving until you satisfied what he said.

“I understand!” you said, resisting the urge to try to tug your arm away from his grip.

He leaned in and told you quietly, “I want to know where you’re going so I know where to look if something goes wrong. Is that too much to ask?”

“No,” you said, trying to shy away from his stern stare.

Steve’s fingertips on his free hand came up underneath your chin, tilting your head to keep eye contact. “Don’t squander my trust with you, doll face.”

“I came back,” you returned quietly.

He studied you for a few moments before his hands dropped. “That you did. Regardless, what I said still stands. Don’t make that mistake again, Y/N, or I’ll lock the damn keys up.”

<> <> <>

Your doctor was making small talk as she prepped the transvaginal ultrasound. The position you were in was not unusual, just uncomfortable because you hated pap smears and that is all you could think of.

Steve was sitting next to the bed, holding your hand, caressing it gently. You looked over at him and he gave you a reassuring smile. He made sure he would be able to come; he wanted to come to every appointment with you, especially in the later months. He was more excited than you to come to the appointment, ready for the upcoming appointment when you would be able to tell the sex of the baby. He was in awe doctors were able to be able to tell and he kept a copy of the first ultrasound in his wallet. You caught him looking at it more than once, a smile on his face.

“Alright, ready?” she asked, catching your attention.

You nodded and she stuck the wand up gently. Steve was watching the screen closely, completely engrossed.

“Oh, there they are,” she said happily. Her smile faltered and she made a concerned noise.

“What?” you and Steve asked at the same time. You had a hunch the two of you were worried for different reasons at the sudden change in her demeanor.

“It looks like…” she started to say, trailing off, as she moved the wand slowly.

“What?” Steve demanded again, concern lacing his tone, leaning forward in his chair. His hand was holding yours tighter and you winced but did not pull away.

She pointed at the screen, “There. Look.” You had no idea what you were looking at where she was pointing and neither did Steve because both of you were staring, waiting for an explanation. She grinned back at the two of you, “Looks like there’s a second. You’re having double trouble.”

Reflexively, you collapsed back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Your chest was tight, you could not breathe.

“Hey,” Steve was over you, his eyes flooded with concern for you now. “Y/N.”

“I…” you started to say but could not form the words.

“You need to breathe,” your doctor told you, trying to coax you to do so. “Just count and breathe, Y/N.”

You tried focusing on their voices to calm yourself down. You did not need to freak out in the middle of the doctor’s office for a multitude of reasons. But all you could think of was how there were two, not just one. How could you travel with two babies if you were going to leave? You tried to force the thought from your head and instead focus on your breathing.

It took a few minutes, but you finally closed your eyes, swallowing sharply, feeling the panic subside.

“Two,” you breathed, locking eyes with Steve. He nodded and you did in return. You forced a smile, “Two. That… that’s more than one.”

Steve gave a strangled laugh, caressing the side of your face. “Yeah, yeah it is.”

“It’s going to be okay,” you said out loud to yourself.

“It’s more than okay,” Steve told you, smiling happily openly now. He kissed your forehead, lingering for a moment. “It’s wonderful.”

~~~

Tags: @imsonick , @alexakeyloveloki, @kvzctam, @ironlady1993, @taintedgenre, @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters

[writerpeach]

Roommates: Part One

IZ*ONE Hyewon X Male Reader

7813 words

Categories: smut, oral sex,  detective! hyewon

18+

---

Read on AFF

Read on AO3

"Please come in."

The second meeting with Detective Kwon was eight days after the first. Thankfully, you were there under much more pleasant terms, trading being led in handcuffs to roaming freely, greeted with smiles, and offered coffee.

Instead of being tossed inside a windowless cold room, you were meeting Detective Kwon in her personal office, quite the inverse of scenery. Greeting you with a welcoming smile instead of threats, she offered a seat and you sat down, scanning the awards on her walls, the various cabinets, and files as you spotted a small piglet plush resting on one, not bothering to mention it. 

You felt comfortable. You weren’t being yelled at or questioned, and you certainly weren’t fearing for your life or freedom. The detective engaged in polite conversation, her friendly tone putting you at ease as she inquired how you were handling the change of being on the opposite side of crime.

Detective Kwon had been promoted due to your cooperation, earning the rank of Chief Superintendent. Changing into a more supervisor role allowed her to command her team more efficiently but still allowed herself to do what she was best at, getting information out of uncooperative suspects in any way she knew how.

Eunbi had a different look since you last saw her, chopping her hair short which gave her a more youthful and vibrant look. 

“You look good, detective,” you complimented, earning a blush from the sharply-dressed woman across the desk. 

“Thank you. You know, we really owe a lot to you,” she said in earnest. 

“I didn’t do much, detective. It turns out you can be a very convincing woman.”

“You gave us valuable information that would have taken us weeks to find.”

Shuffling around papers and organizing a dossier Eunbi looked up and her expression softened.

“But we still have a lot of work to do to take down your former boss. The Goda clan is in shambles. We’ve made several arrests lately, we have them on the run.” 

“That’s wonderful to hear. To tell the truth, I was never comfortable with some of the things I saw during my time as a clan member. It still keeps me up at night.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. What you’re doing has been very helpful, we couldn’t have done this without you.”

“If that asshole gets locked up then it’ll be more than worth it.” 

“Now, there are still a few high ranking members we don’t know the location of,” Eunbi said and slid three pictures across the desk, two men you recognized and one you didn’t. 

“Is there anything about them you can tell us?”

You studied their pictures before speaking. ”Never met this guy. These two were the boss’s right- hand men. When he needed someone taken out, a business shaken down for protection money or anything else that he didn’t want to dirty his hands for he used them as his errand boys.”

“Do you have their names?”

“Afraid not. I was too low down the totem pole to really know them.”

“That’s fine, we’ll work with what we have and I’ll make sure our investigation team makes this their priority. It might take longer but we’ll find these thugs.” 

Eunbi smiled. It was different talking to her like this, cooperating with her, and not being threatened to spend the rest of your life behind bars. 

“How are you holding up? This can’t be easy.”

“Like I said, some sleepless nights. A lot of looking behind my shoulder, thinking someone I swore loyalty to is coming after me. This is all I’ve known for most of my life, so being on the other side of things is hard to get used to.” 

“That’s understandable. The monitoring app we installed on your phone tracks your location with pinpoint accuracy as long as you allow us to. If you ever end up in trouble you know how to activate it right?”

“I do, thanks, Detective. Let’s hope I never have to.” 

“Yes, let’s hope. The sooner we can get these scumbags off the streets, the better we’ll all be.” 

There was a sudden knock on the door that broke the tension.

“Come in!” Eunbi said. 

The door gently swung open and in walked a petite girl, blue mixed into her dark bobbed hairstyle. “Sorry to barge in, boss.” 

“It’s quite alright, Detective Miyawaki. You wouldn’t interrupt without a good reason.” 

“We’ve got new leads on potential suspects. A stolen vehicle was spotted downtown in an abandoned warehouse, it appears it was used in last month’s weapon smuggling ring that was shut down.” 

“And you’re sure they’re still there?” 

“According to our surveillance, no cars have been in or out of the warehouse all day. There could be underground tunnels but that’s highly unlikely given the layout of the building .” 

“Excellent work, Detective. Put out an APB immediately.” 

“Right away, boss.” 

The young girl bowed politely and left the room.

“We’re getting closer with each day thanks to you,” she said with a mild sense of relief in her voice.

“You have a good team here it seems.” 

“It gets pretty stressful but they’re wonderful and I couldn’t do my job without them. Between forensics, our investigation team, and our computer analysts, there's about twelve of us working non-stop.”

“Impressive.” 

“Now, I do need to talk to you about the security detail we promised you.” 

“What about it?” 

“As you can tell, we’re swamped. We need all the men and women we have working around the clock. At this moment we don’t have the resources to monitor who may be looking to harm you. We’re looking into a third-party security service to protect you but getting approval at a time like this is no easy task.”

“That’s really quite alright. I don’t leave my house much these days, and I have cameras all over my house.”

“No, it’s not, it was part of our terms and I won’t fall back on it. I can offer you an alternative, your safety is a necessity not just as part of our case against the Goda clan.” 

“An alternative?”

“Yes,” she responded, pushing a button on the black phone on her desk. “Detective Kang, can you come to my office, please?” 

Seconds after the door opened, and in walked an incredibly attractive woman with purple-dyed hair tied in a loose ponytail, dressed formally in a white shirt and gray jacket and almost as busty as Detective Kwon. She took a seat in the wooden chair next to you.

“This is the guy, Detective Kang.”

“Ah, so you’re the reason why we’re putting all these jackoffs in prison? It’s very nice to meet you,” she said, extending her hand and shaking yours gently. 

“Nice to meet you too, Detective.”

“Oh, you can just call me Hyewon,” she said with a shy smile.

“You see Detective Hyewon is the second-best detective here. She works really hard, she’ll be sure to surpass me soon.”

“That’s not likely boss. Nobody can interrogate like you can.”

Eunbi proudly smiled and quickly changed the subject. “Now, while we’re unable to offer you the protection we promised, we have an offer that’s a bit unorthodox.” 

“How so?” you said with a puzzled look. 

Hyewon spoke up. “We can’t monitor you 24/7 at this time but in lieu, I can offer you a safe place to stay.”

You furrowed an eyebrow in confusion.

“As I said, it’s a bit unorthodox but given the situation, we believe it’s a good compromise,” Eunbi said. 

“You see, I have a spare bedroom that’s just collecting dust. Equipped with the latest home automation, reinforced windows, and a 24/7 monitoring system. My house is very secure and located away from all major parts of the city.“

“That’s a generous offer but I don’t need a babysitter.” 

Eunbi laughed. “We’re not saying you do. These men are out for blood and we don’t know who might show up to confront you. Like you said you don’t get out much and Hyewon can do most of her investigative work from home. It’s a temporary solution, you shouldn’t be there for more than a month.”

“Along with my elite detective skills I spent two years in culinary school, I can cook as well as I can catch criminals,” Hyewon added nonchalantly.

“We won’t force you to live there of course, but you would be safer than at your own home.”

The two detectives looked at you, anticipating your answer. You gave it a moment to ponder over. 

“I’ll give it a shot.” 

“Thank you. Your safety is our number one priority.” 

✦✦

Moving to a new place even temporarily with someone who was a complete stranger was a bit awkward, to say the least. You only brought essential items over to Hyewon’s place, surprised by how large it was and grateful for two separate bathrooms. 

It was an understatement to say it was strange living with a beautiful woman you had just met. It took an entire week to adjust to the complicated situation, but each day that passed you both opened up little by little. It turns out Hyewon wasn’t lying, she was a fantastic cook and you had a multitude of things you shared in common. 

The first week went by quicker than expected. Awkward exchanges of quiet good mornings gradually turned into full conversations, sharing stories of being on opposing sides. 

Hyewon had plenty of tales to share of her short two year career - ranging from month-long investigations to chasing after suspects, to seeing a dead body for the first time. Hyewon shared the unexpected frustrations of being considered the prettiest woman in the station and having to prove that she wasn’t hired for just a pretty face.

After helping her clean up the intricate feast that was a most delicious breakfast, she took a seat on one of the kitchen island stools, refilling her coffee.

“I have to head into the office today to help out our team with some investigations. I’ll be working late most likely. You have both of our numbers if you need anything though, okay?”

“I’m not a puppy, I can survive one night,” you teased.

“I know, I wasn’t insinuating you were...” Hyewon replied as her awkwardness returned, her embarrassment strangely cute.

“The fridge is full of groceries but I didn’t have time to cook anything, sorry.” 

“Don’t be. I’m not that bad a cook myself, It’ll be fine. I’ll hold down the fort.”

“Okay. Call if you need anything.” 

���✦

Hyewon’s spacious two-bedroom house felt rather lonely without her in it. You caught yourself talking a little too much to her living room virtual assistant, the eerily human voice being the only human contact you had that night meant it was time for something else. 

Heading to the fridge to grab a soda you conducted your own investigation of your own, having free rein of the house you gave every room except her bedroom a look, well decorated with light red and pinks everywhere.

After watching a couple hours of tv and making a quick meal you decided to sleep early. In the morning Eunbi wanted you to come in and sign a few affidavits and you wanted to be fully prepared for that process. 

When you woke up that morning something felt different. You didn’t quite know what time it was, but judging through the light shining through the sheer black curtains of your room it had to be at least 6 a.m. 

As you struggled to adjust to consciousness, you couldn’t help realize the obvious weight and pressure on your body. Your vision cleared, and the unmistakable purple hair snuggled against your chest belonged to a feminine figure that could only belong to one woman. Hyewon. 

While you enjoyed the comforting warmth of her body, you weren't sure what she was doing on top of you. She felt your movements and stirred awake and you were about to get your answer. 

Hyewon lifted her head off of your chest, realizing where she was but not looking any less confused. 

"Good morning?" you said, just as confused as her. 

"H-hi…” she sleepily said. “I can explain…I think..."

"Take your time," you said.

Hyewon gathered herself and laid down beside you flat on her stomach. 

"We had a late night and we didn't get much done yesterday. Our leads ended up as dead ends, so I didn't get home until around 2 am."

"Sounds rough."

"I washed up and going to my own bed seemed so lonely, and your door was open and well...your bed looked so welcoming and inviting. I only laid down for a few minutes but I guess I fell asleep and ended up on top of you and so here we are."

“Sure was an interesting way to wake up.” 

"I'm so sorry,” she said as she buried her face in her hands.

“It’s not that big of a deal, Hyewon. It’s all cleared up now so I understand. I’m just sorry I woke you.” 

"You didn't wake me. Well, part of you did but.."

She hesitated. "I felt something poking me when I was on top of you," Hyewon blushed. 

"Oh god. Now I'm the one who should be sorry."

Hyewon giggled. "Is this the famous morning wood I've heard about? There's nothing to be sorry for..."

"Have you not-" 

"Had sex before? I'm not a virgin, I've just never slept with a man before.”

“I see. Do you not like men?”

“I”m not against sleeping with men, I just haven’t had good experiences. Women are gentle and their skin is so soft and they smell amazing.”

“All of that is definitely true.” 

“I’m just picky I guess. Meanwhile, Eunbi will sleep with anyone who will put their head between her thighs.”

“I bet that’s a very long line of people.”

“It is. I was at the top of it.”

“You were?”

“She...she was my first. I’ve only slept with a few women after her, and we still fool around from time to time when work doesn’t keep us busy.” 

“And here I thought my morning wood was over.”

Hyewon blushed and covered her mouth, hiding against the mattress.

"I'm really sorry, I-" 

"There's nothing to be sorry for. It happens…” you said embarrassed. 

“I just like having someone to talk to in the morning,” Hyewon said. 

“I do too.”

“Would you be okay…” she hesitated. 

“With sharing the bed? I don’t mind.” you interrupted. “It’s plenty big for two people.”

“No I-I mean if y-you don’t want-” 

“I don’t mind at all, Hyewon.” 

Hyewon paused. “I probably snore though. And some days I’d have to get up before you do, I’d hate to wake you. “

“I’m a really heavy sleeper,” you said, trying to deflect her excuses. 

“If you really don’t mind, then I’ll sleep here too. My room does get rather lonely…”

Sharing a smile, the thought of sharing a bed with Hyewon made your sudden arrangement more enjoyable. 

“I can sleep away from you or put the pillow on the other side of the bed.”

“No, that’s not necessary. Just sleep how you always do.” 

“Okay,” you agreed, settling your agreement.  

If Hyewon snored in her sleep, you never once heard her. Keeping things casual, you told each other good night and good morning, sometimes both and sometimes neither depending on if your schedules met up. 

Hyewon’s sleep attire went from long sleeve pajamas and pants, and as she became more comfortable with the situation she herself became more comfortable and more casual. 

Ditching pajama pants for shorts, long sleeves to tank-tops, and eventually settling on oversized shirts enough to cover her up. Except for the time it didn't and you got a glimpse of her cute butt and the black pair of boyshorts underwear she didn’t know she was showing off. 

You had reached the third week of living with Hyewon, and you were as comfortable with her as being in your own skin. Sharing a bed wasn’t as complicated as you thought, although there certainly were moments where a leg brushed up against your own and vice versa. Avoiding physical contact completely was impossible though and you didn’t think much about it.

“Good morning,” Hyewon sat as she sat up, yawning widely and stretching her arms high up. You turned your head to the side to greet her. 

“Morning. Heading into work today?” you asked sleepily. 

Hyewon shook her head and messy violet hair went everywhere. “Eunbi has a bunch of interrogations scheduled, so unless she needs me for something I’m staying here.” 

“A nice relaxing morning then.” 

“Mhmm. Want breakfast?” she asked, throwing her side of the covers off and standing up, doing a quick stretching routine.

“Breakfast sounds great.” 

Lifting your head up you realized you weren’t the only thing that had woken up, gritting your teeth and laying your head back down. 

“I’ll...meet you at the table.” 

“Morning wood again?” she teased.

“Yeah...You know too much about me now.” 

 You were more than thankful the blankets weren’t thin. You waited for Hyewon to leave the room so you could make a beeline for the bathroom, but instead, you saw the wheels turning in her head. 

“Do you want me to help?” she asked as innocently as she had just asked about breakfast. You nearly choked. 

“Help…? You repeated, making sure you weren’t hearing things. 

“You’re always hard in the morning. I’ve felt it poking me in the back, and I know how annoying it must be to wake up throbbing like that.” 

“H-hyewon I-”

“It’s not a big deal,” she smiled as she threw herself at the covers. 

You still couldn’t believe it.

“I’ve jerked off a guy before. He finished in like twenty seconds so I never got to enjoy it.” 

“You’re that good, huh?”

“I’m definitely not,” she laughed. 

She tossed the covers off, leaving the sight of you pitching a tent through your boxers in plain sight. 

“You poor thing,” she said as she stared at the huge bulge poking through your underwear.      She took a breath as she grabbed the top of your boxers and slowly pulled them down, revealing your needy cock that throbbed as it was released. 

Her eyes went wide. “You’re really big,” she said, not wasting time as she wrapped her slim fingers around your length, forming a tight fist and began slowly stroking. 

You moaned at her touch. Her hand was cold which brought a different yet pleasurable type of sensation. “Hard like a rock,” she smiled as she continued pumping and you quickly began leaking all over her fingers. For someone inexperienced, it felt good, but you’d have to try really hard to screw up a handjob.

Hyewon looked at the clear liquid coating her fingers with a curious look.

“So much precum,” she said innocently as she licked one of her fingers clean, waiting a second to form an opinion. 

“It tastes good.” 

“The real thing tastes better.”

She blushed. Tightening her grip, she quickened her strokes as she settled on a rhythm and looked up.

“Does this feel good?” 

“It feels great.” 

Hyewon’s innocent eyes as she jerked you off was such a bold contrast. The last woman who had touched you was Eunbi, a master of teasing and anticipation. Hyewon’s straight to the point was a nice change.

“How long does it usually take?” she asked, genuinely curious. 

“To cum?” 

“Yes.” 

“It depends on a lot of things. Who’s doing it, what they’re doing, how they’re doing it…”

“Am I not doing a good job? You didn’t cum yet,” she said, feeling concerned.

“No, you’re doing great. There’s not a lot of stimulation with a handjob, so unless you really know what you’re doing it’s gonna take a while.”

“Anything I can do to make it feel better?” 

“Do you have any lube?” Hyewon shook her head disappointed.

“That’s fine. You can spit on it.” 

Hyewon listened and did as told, letting saliva drip out of her mouth she spat multiple times on your cock. The friction felt better instantly. 

“Anything else?” 

You were already at this point, might as well up the ante.

“You could uh. Take your shirt off?” You said, testing her reaction. You waited nervously. 

Hyewon thankfully didn’t seem to mind. She grabbed the hem of her large black overshirt and lifted it over her head. There wasn’t a bra on underneath to cover up her pale chest. She had the same pair of underwear you had seen that one time. Her breasts were big, not as big as Eunbi, but still sizable and the perfect shape with perfect pink nipples. Her stomach was toned and tight, Hyewon’s body was downright delicious. 

“Holy shit.” 

Hyewon smiled. “You like my body?” 

“I do, you're pretty hot, Hyewon."

She smiled and kept stroking and you couldn’t peel your eyes off her delicious tits. So large and round, you wanted to dive in immediately but didn't want to get greedy. 

After just a few minutes you felt your abdomen tightening, subconsciously fucking into Hyewon’s fist, drooling at her newly exposed tits. 

“Fuck, I’m close,” you moaned, leaking even more.

“You’re going to cum?” 

“Y-yes,” you replied. 

Hyewon gripped harder and stroked fasted, encouraging your release with her eyes focused on your cock, anticipating your release. You were almost there, staring at her beautiful tits bouncing in time with her strokes, waiting for your climax to arrive. With a forceful grunt, you exploded in her hand, hips jerking and groaning loudly as you released and coated her fingers with your hot seed. She kept pumping until you were drained, keeping notice of your sensitivity as she winded down her movements to a halt. 

She looked on in surprise as her fingers were covered in your stickiness. She grabbed a tissue to clean herself off, but not without giving one of her messy fingers a sample. 

“You’re right, the real thing does taste better.” she smiled. “Now let’s get some food in us.” 

✦✦

There was a surprising lack of awkwardness around the table as Hyewon served breakfast. Scrambled eggs, both sausage, and bacon cooked to perfection as per your request. She knew you needed a little extra energy after draining your stamina. 

“How is the case proceeding? Any closer?” you asked, not wanting the conversation to steer towards what had just happened. 

“Things are complicated. We’re finding it harder to apprehend the suspects we need, they’re on the move constantly. They know we’re onto them but we don’t have the resources to send more teams.” 

“They own so many businesses they could practically hide anywhere in the city, sadly,” you said.

“This is so frustrating,” she said. “But we have to move forward, taking any steps we can. I’m going to be spending a lot of time at the office next week.” 

“I’ll take care of the house, it’ll be in tiptop shape.” 

Hyewon nodded. “You’ll also have to take care of morning wood on your own, mister,” she teased.

“Back to the old ways then,” you sadly said.

Hyewon paused as she finished her eggs, chewing carefully as she formed a thought. 

“I feel bad. Although, you know I kind of liked it.”

“Liked what?”

“I... liked jerking you off. Feeling how hard you were, hearing you moan when I touched you. I felt something...seeing you throbbing when I made you cum.” 

Hyewon’s typical blank expression morphed into a deadly smirk. 

“I can see why Eunbi likes her job so much. That feeling of control is just...intoxicating.” 

“Do you like taking control, Hyewon?” you asked. 

“In my job absolutely not. But in the bedroom...I don’t know yet. Maybe.” 

“We’ll have to do some investigating then.” 

“Guess we will.” 

✦✦

 You didn't see much of Hyewon that week as expected. Your sleep schedules never synced and you ended up fast asleep alone before her, usually waking up to an empty bed. 

"Long day?" 

"Long week."

Hyewon didn't follow up on the conversation that night, drifting away to sleep. Over the weeks of becoming familiar with each other, you had gotten closer with Hyewon, both figuratively and literally. There was something that was never spoken about but you often woke up with an arm or leg draped over your body, or her chest pinned to your back. You certainly didn't mind the welcome intimacy. 

During a rather peaceful sleep, you felt something jolt you up. 

"Were you asleep?" she asked. 

"No, I wasn't," you lied. 

"I can't sleep," she frowned. 

"Too much on your mind?

"I guess. What do you do when you can't sleep?"

"I lay there for a few minutes and try to relax. If it doesn't work warm milk usually does the trick," you said. 

"We're out of milk," she pouted. "Any other ideas?" 

"Honestly when I really can't sleep I just jerk off. Puts me out like a light."

Hyewon felt her cheeks flushed as she hid her head in her hands. 

"I can leave the room if you want..." you said. 

"What for?" 

"So you can…you know."

"Touch myself?” She said innocently. “I've never given myself an orgasm. I just let Eunbi do everything for me."

"I see," you said as you formed an idea. 

"Can't you just do what Eunbi does to yourself?" 

"I don't think it would be the same."

"Well, I'm out of ideas then. Unless you want to call her in the middle of the night."

"She'd kill me."

Hyewon huffed in frustration. You were fresh out of ideas and sympathized with her. Looking over her it was kind of cute how frustrated she was, bundled up neck-deep under the covers as she watched the ceiling fan, trying to do anything to fall back asleep.

She turned onto her side, her doe eyes facing you. “Can you help me?” 

“Help you what?” 

“Help me fall asleep…”

“How do you want me to do that?”

“Ah, don’t make me say it.” 

You smiled. “Do you want me to give you an orgasm, Hyewon?”

“Y-yes... If you don’t mind...” 

“Not at all.” 

You threw the covers and sat up, making your way to her position. Hyewon had on a black cotton t-shirt which you lifted up enough to see her hips. Her underwear was pink and lacy, covering up just enough of her skin to still be sexy enough. 

“Can I take these off?” you asked. She nodded and lifted her butt. You grabbed the top of her cute underwear and began to slowly pull it off her hips, peeling it off her body and down her smooth long legs.

Hyewon nervously kept her legs locked together, but after seeking her approval you spread her thighs and revealed her beautiful pink pussy. Kissing up her inner thighs you heard her gasp as your lips made contact with her soft warm skin. 

“Your body is so amazing,” you said as you planted more wet kisses on her pale thighs. 

“T-thank you. It’s not as nice as Eunbi, I wish I had her figure,” she said sadly.”

“It’s not a competition. I’m sure you have things Eunbi is jealous of.” 

“I-I guess so.” 

Not wanting her to be down on herself anymore you interrupted her and licked up and down her thighs, painting them with long swipes of your tongue. She whimpered. 

“O-oh, fuck…” 

Making your way in between them, you kissed her center before running a finger through her folds, watching the way she looked.

“You’re wet.” 

“I-I can’t help it...” 

You started warming her up by licking up her pink slit, giving yourself the first taste of her pussy, and inhaling her aroma. You explored her folds with your tongue, cleaning off her juices until you reached her clit. You blew a puff of hot air against it and she whined. 

“You have such a pretty pussy,” you said, and before she could respond you swirled around her hardened clit, running circular patterns along it before taking it into your mouth and sucking.

“Ahh!” she moaned. You continued to eat her out, tasting her juices and licking everything up as her warm thighs wrapped around your head. 

Buried against her crotch you went wild, tasting all of Hyewon’s delicious sensitive pussy, suckling on her clit wildly as she squirmed and moaned. 

“Fuck, you’re so good at that. No wonder Eunbi likes you.”

You kept the pressure on her clit, suckling hard and you brought a finger inside her cunt, and then another, curling them and finding her spot immediately. Hyewon’s hips bucked as she moaned loud, as you licked and sucked everything that leaked out between her luscious legs, feeling her body trembling and reacting to everything you did. 

“Oh god, oh god! I’m going to cum!”

Looking up straight at her buried in between her heavenly thighs, you licked and sucked up her clit, and Hyewon came almost right away, making a mess on your face. 

Slowly removing yourself from her pussy and licking your lips, helping her ride out her orgasm, caressing her thighs as she came down from her high, panting, and still seeing stars. 

“Hol- wow. You’re really good with your mouth.”

“Do you think you’ll be able to sleep now?”

“I will...but I don’t want you to go without returning the favor.”

“I’ll be fine,” you said. 

“You made me feel so good though, I just want to do the same,” Hyewon protested

“I don’t want to keep you up.” 

“You won’t.” 

“I can just go jerk off in the bathroom, it’s no big deal.”

“You don’t need to do that. After what you just did for me I want to help you too,” she said.

“Besides, I’m already half-naked,” she said as she pulled her shirt off, letting you see her wonderful full breasts for the second time. 

“Now I’m fully naked.” 

You felt the throbbing in your crotch as your eyes focused on every inch of her body. 

“You don’t have to get naked to give me a handjob.” 

“A handjob? You deserve much more than a handjob.” 

“What do you have in mind?” 

“I want us to both be tired at the end of this,” she smirked. 

You had established Hyewon as the innocent and naive type, and while you were mostly spot-on seeing this side of her changed that. 

Hyewon gestured for you to lay down and you took her former position, adjusting the pillows to your liking. Taking a kneeling position, you spread your legs for her, the anticipation high already.

She lingered there for a moment. Her face stayed blank, the same way it had the first time you met her. It gave you the chance to admire her face, her pretty brown eyes, her cute nose, and cherry red lips, lips that you didn’t realize were so plump and kissable. 

“Are you going to keep your shirt on? It’s only fair I see you naked too isn’t it?” she asked. 

She had a point. Grabbing the collar of your shirt, you lifted it over your head and tossed it off the bed, 

“Now we’re talking,” she said, biting her lip. “You have a really nice body as well.” 

Staring just a little longer than you expected, Hyewon’s view went to your crotch. 

“What do you want me to do?” she asked. 

“You’ve never given a blowjob before?” 

She shook her head disappointingly. “Jerking off that one guy is the only experience I’ve had with men. And now, you.” 

“Just do what you did that one morning, but add your tongue and lips. Be careful with your teeth though.” 

She nodded in acknowledgment. “I've seen porn. Just suck it right? Like a popsicle?”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “There’s more to it than that, but yeah.”

“What do I do to get you hard?” she asked. 

“Well, I’m halfway there, just rub it through my boxers.” 

She followed your instructions, using her hands to create friction through your crotch awkwardly. It was cute how clueless she was about this. 

Hyewon’s eyes opened wider and within a matter of seconds before a bulge had formed.

“That didn’t take long,” she smiled and knew how to do the rest. Tugging your boxers down, she left you in the same state of undress as her, your cock twitching as it was freed to meet her. 

She did the same thing she did before, albeit with more confidence this time, wrapping her cold hand around your shaft and keeping a tight grip. Using smooth movements she stroked slowly, the now-familiar pumping motions becoming more natural. 

Using the earlier example a bit too literal, licking up and down one side of your shaft like it was an actual popsicle. It looked awkward but didn’t stop from feeling good. She did this on all sides, and you directed her to move her tongue lower, helping her figure it out one step at a time. 

“You’re getting it,” you praised her, as she continued lathering up your shaft. 

“Go lower,” you told her and she got the message, licking your balls with shallow swipes of her tongue, causing you to groan. 

“They’re sensitive right?” she asked. 

“Very, so you have to be careful,” you replied. Hyewon nodded cutely.

“Put your lips around the tip, start out gently. That’s the part that feels the best.” 

Licking a little more she traveled up until her mouth found the tip of your cock, eyeing your length. When she was ready she licked her lips and wrapped them around your swollen tip, hollowing her cheeks as she started sucking gently. You let out a deep breath and a moan immediately, the softness of her plump lips indescribable as they surrounded your cock. 

“Like this?” She asked as she carefully sucked, trying to keep her teeth out of the way as she drew out your pleasure. 

“Yes, that’s perfect. Feels so good already.” 

Feeling proud, Hyewon took more inside her mouth, almost reaching the middle of your shaft as she activated her gag reflex. 

“Don’t take it all at once,” you warned. She looked so damn pretty giving you head. Innocent Hyewon with her lips all over your dick, it was a wonderful sight, even the first few inches inside her mouth felt absolute heaven. She got used to it little by little, knowing where her limits were as she bobbed her head up and down, keeping her eyes dead centered on you. 

“Your lips feel amazing. You’re a natural at this,” you praised, the warmth of her wet mouth driving you insane. Maybe it was the porn videos, or maybe she just had a gifted talent, but what she was doing to you felt so fucking good. Her lips were perfect for giving head, their plumpness sucking the life out of your cock as her throat made loud slurping sounds, infinity pleasing to your ears. 

“You can use your tongue too,” you suggested, and after a moment you felt her wet tongue splashing against your underside, causing even more pleasure.

“Fuck.” 

You leaned back against the pillows, closing your eyes and listening to Hyewon’s mouth slurping your dick, her warm lips doing their work. You’d have to train her to deepthroat at some point, but if she was already this good at sucking you off you were in for a treat. 

Hyewon took you rather deep, gagging herself a few times before pulling her mouth off and stopped, stroking your length. 

“You okay?” you asked.

“Mhm. I don’t want you to cum yet.”

She had a determined look in her eyes and you could tell she wasn’t ready for things to end. 

“I want us to feel good. At the same time,” she said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’ve never felt a dick inside me. That changes tonight,” she said, growing more confident. 

“Not even a toy?” 

“No. Eunbi doesn’t want to use them, she thinks I’m not ready yet. But I am.” 

“If you say you’re ready then you’re ready.” 

“I am.” 

With her expression determined she and straddled your lap, giving you even more time to stare at her naked body. 

With her warm thighs on each side of your waist, Hyewon grabbed hold of your cock and lined it up with her entrance. Her pussy was so pink, just as pretty as she was and plenty wet. She carefully lifted herself up, and with very delicate movements she lowered herself onto your cock, both of you gasping as she was penetrated for the very first time. 

“Shit,” she moaned, the new sensations so overwhelming to her. 

“Take your time,” you said, watching carefully and caressing her thighs. She sank down a little deeper, gritting her teeth as a mixture of pain and pleasure hit her all at once. Her pussy squeezed your shaft tight, almost painfully so even guided by her intense wetness. 

“How’s it feel?” you asked. She looked unsure.

“I-I don’t know yet.” 

Hyewon moved her hips back up until she was almost empty, moving back down and you watched as the tip of your cock disappeared inside.

Giving her time to adjust, you let her do everything, only taking you as deep as she felt comfortable with. 

“You’re so fucking big. I feel so stretched already,” 

“So tight, Hyewon. You feel amazing.” 

“That’s good right?” she asked. 

“Yes. You’re even tighter than Eunbi,” you admitted, not that you would tell anyone else that. 

Hyewon braced herself by holding on to your chest, carefully trying to position herself. Once she slowly adjusted, her hips began moving, and she began riding you. 

“So damn big,” she repeated. “Eunbi must love this.” 

She moved slowly at first, hips gently moving up and down, letting herself feel that intoxicating stretch. The pain had subsided and she only felt pleasure, moaning softly already. Her walls tightened more and more as she took you deeper inside her, leaving a trail of slick covering your cock to aid in penetration. 

“You feel really good inside me,” she said, at first not letting more than half of your shaft inside her pussy, trying to control her breathing. 

Hyewon carefully found a rhythm, riding with a slow but constant pace, her tits gently bouncing with every movement. You couldn’t stop staring, mesmerized by the way they jiggled, adding to your arousal. 

“You really like my tits don’t you?” she asked.

“Of course. They’re perfect.” 

“You can touch them if you want,” she said. 

“Oh I’ll do more than just touch,” you replied, and she beamed, giving the go-ahead. Running your hands up her tight body and feeling her soft pale skin you grabbed a handful of them, groping them as you felt her tight pussy lips squeezing your cock. You didn’t need to compare them to anyone else, they were perfect as is - soft, heavy, and delicious. 

She rode a little faster, moaning louder as you buried yourself in her scrumptious tits, sucking on her tits and feasting on them, being careful to not overstimulate Hyewon. 

“You’re so wet, Hyewon,” you said, watching her slowly fall apart. She replied in groans and moans, taking as much inside as she could, relaxing herself.  

“I’m going to feel this in the morning,” she said, lips curling as she pushed herself all the way down, impaling her pussy to the hilt. 

“Oh god!” she moaned as she bounced up and down, riding faster with all of you inside her tight cunt. You wanted to feel all of her body, wandering your hands around her delicate soft skin as you settled on her ass. Plump and tight, you squeezed it, still letting her do the work. 

“Fuck, oh fuck! I think I’m going to cum!” 

“Then cum for me, Hyewon.’

“I-I will!” she said, louder than expected. Bouncing her ass on your cock she leaned backward, supporting herself on your thighs as she exerted more energy in her hips. 

“Oh fuck yes, I’m gon-” 

Not even able to finish her sentence, her body lost control as she came violently, rolling her hips as her tight pussy pulsated around your cock and you felt a wave of juices drowning your cock. Her pace slows down significantly, trying to ride out the first orgasm she’s had that wasn’t a woman's fingers or tongue and the pleasure is so intoxicating to her that she might pass out. 

“H-holy shit,” she said, as she looked up for the first time in several seconds, almost embarrassed by how loud she was. Her eyes were fully glazed over after her orgasm and her pussy felt even tighter and wet around you, but she had just enough strength to keep her hips moving. 

“You need to cum too,” she said, regaining her senses as her whole body leaned forward, pressing herself against your body and you unexpectedly felt her soft lips against yours. 

“That’s for making me feel so good,” she smiled, running a hand through her hands, returning to her past pace.

“Now I want this pussy to return the favor.” 

With a tired gaze on her face, she bounced again on your cock as you kept your hands around her waist, feeling the sweat misting across her perfect skin. You wanted to freeze the moment in time. The way she moaned with every thrust with that pretty voice, how wet and tight she was, the way her supple breasts bounced deliciously, it was all incredibly arousing and yet too much at the same time. 

“I’m gonna cum too,” you blurted out, words becoming difficult to use. Her eyes lit up. 

“Good. I wanna see how much you can fill me up.” 

Her lewd words and the way her wet pink flesh squeezed your cock made it impossible to hold on, giving a few more thrusts as you buried yourself in Hyewon’s tight pussy. Lustfully staring into each other's eyes, you throbbed inside her and groaned her name loudly as you began filling her hole up, shaking as you emptied wave after wave of plentiful thick seed deep into her cunt. 

Once her tight pussy milked you of everything, giving Hyewon every last drop she collapsed on top of you, the warmth of her hot sweaty body and her weight comforting yours. 

“It’s so warm,” she said, gasping and panting in your ears. She rested there for what felt like hours as you both tried to breathe normally again. Heaving panting filling the room as Hyewon used your chest for leverage and gingerly lifted herself off of your cock, decoupling your tangled bodies. 

You watched together as the mess you left inside her slowly leaked out of her pussy, a steady thick stream of hot cum the was the evidence of the intense pleasure she had given you, dripping down her thighs and splashing against the bedsheets. 

Hyewon’s chest is still heaving, her purple hair out of place as she tried to catch a deep breath. She looked at your depleted cock and the combined juices still left on it and instinctively grabbed and took it back into her mouth, sliding it down her mouth as much as she could to clean it off, before using her tongue to do the rest.

“I’m going to need to taste a lot more of this.” 

With her stamina used up, she crashed, her skin kissing yours as her wonderful breasts pressed against your chest as if she were using your body as a pillow. 

“That was amazing.” 

“Are you okay? You rode my dick so well.” 

“I...I’m good. I could use a shower, but I can barely move.”

 “Probably be worse in the morning.” 

“Then I’ll deal with it in the morning,” she said. Her final words before she drifted off, tired, her naked body still rested on yours. It wouldn’t take before you followed, sharing one of the most peaceful nights in some time. 

You woke up restful and full of energy for once, Hyewon was surprised to see you wake up a few minutes after she did. 

“You’re up! Good morning,” she sweetly said.

“Good morning, “ you replied. 

“Sorry if I snored.”

“I didn’t hear you if you did.”

“Are you heading into the office?” 

“Yes. There’s been a big break and we have the advantage for once. Eunbi needs the whole team to be there.” 

“Want breakfast?” she asked, not bothering to put on pants yet.

“I do, but I have everything I need to eat right in front of me,” you boldly said.

Hyewon blushed. “You’re feisty this morning.” 

“When do you have to be there?” 

“In about an hour.”

“An hour is a lot of time,” you said.

“I know that look…”

"I don't know what you mean by that." 

"I'm sure you don’t…" she said as she plopped on the bed on her stomach, bare feet up in the air. 

“I wouldn’t mind one for the road. It’d keep me in a good mood all day.”

“Don’t want you to be late though.” 

“I do have to still shower and get ready, but I’m sure Eunbi won’t mind if I'm a few minutes late...”

“We’d save some time if we just went straight for the shower.” 

Hyewon looked flustered.

“And water,” you added. 

Hyewon pondered, sitting up. “My shower is rather big, so you’ve sold me,” she said, removing what little clothes she had left on and gestured to you to follow her, not that you needed any instructions to. 

She liked the water as hot as it would go. Her body was beautiful naked, but as water flowed down her chest and onto her flushed skin, matting her dyed hair to her gorgeous features. it enhanced her naked body even more. Hyewon came on your cock as you fucked her from behind and pressed her against the cold shower tile and she finished you off on her tits, carefully away from the water to make sure you got a chance to savor your handiwork. 

Drying her hair off and deciding on what to wear, Hyewon’s phone rang. 

“Detective Kang speaking.” 

“Yes, boss. He’s right here.” 

“Understood. We’ll both be there.”

Tossing her phone onto the bed she took a seat and finished dressing as you waited for her explanation. 

“We’ve made an arrest on one of the Goda clan’s lieutenants and we have a potential lead on the patriarch. Eunbi wants you to be there to give any assistance and make sure he doesn’t escape.” 

“Why me?” 

“You know the way they operated and any potential backdoors they might exploit. We’re looking for any and every advantage we can use. Your knowledge of their operations will be a powerful ally at this point.” 

“I’ll do what I can, I can’t promise I’ll be useful.” 

“That’s all we’re asking. Now let’s get going, I’ll let Eunbi know we’re on the way.” 

[princessmo]

jackoff all trades master of bater

[lovehotelreservation]

It's hard being confident in Hell. So it's a good thing Satan's there to show you all your best sides~ (reverse cowgirl, mirror sex)

"To think a descendent of Solomon would ever think to view themselves so lowly? I will not rest until you see yourself in the same way that I see you!"

Even with your back turned towards Satan, you already knew what expression he was making. His crimson eyes glinting with lust while they continued to drink in the sight of your bared backside, his tongue licking over the prideful grin on his lips as he proclaimed out his words--all done in his absolute adoration for you.

The firm grip that his large hands had on your waist remained steadfast, keep you still and subject to the vigorous pace by which he had you bouncing up and down his thick cock, a lascivious sight reflected on the grand-scale mirror before you both.

And if there was anything that Satan had come to demonstrate--especially his stamina--, it would just be a matter of time until you saw yourself under a more confident light.

[markynaz]

14?

14 - Alone

It was something Arcturus had to get used to, being alone. He'd never really experienced it before. Well, he had, but it had never been good - being "alone" on the streets of Shornhelm was almost always a precursor to being "in danger," or being "dead," or being "arrested," or being "dragged into a weird house to be sacrificed for cult activities," the last of which was something that had happened to several of his friends for some strange reason.

So he'd learned to avoid being alone. His friends - the ones who were still alive - had learned to avoid being alone. Street kids in Shornhelm moved in packs for their own safety.

Moving in packs had just made it easier for the Montclair occupation to track them down.

Someone in the Montclair invasion force had apparently cottoned on to the fact that street kids and beggars were the best, most unobtrusive spies. Everyone who ran in Arcturus' old circles knew that almost every noble house that knew what they were worth had spies in the city, and everyone who ran in those circles was either on someone's payroll or peripherally knew at least two people who were. It wasn't any stretch of the imagination, once one knew that, to understand an invasion by any noble house into Shornhelm would be immediately carried to the other houses by little whispering mouths that didn't want to see their city come to harm.

Arcturus could only assume someone in the Montclair family was very smart. There was no other explanation for why he'd woken up to his little pack of found family snarling and biting and scratching each other, using makeshift weapons or fists or teeth or nails - and why he couldn't tear them apart from each other at all, not until every last one of them was dead.

It was a bad night. And then he was alone. And then - going out into the gray light of predawn, shivering with blood on him - why he heard whispers of the same thing happening everywhere the homeless slept that night, everywhere there were street spies for other houses. There were very few survivors, and each one was alone.

The Montclair forces attacked Shornhelm in midmorning of the next day. Within hours, the entire upper city was locked down, blood washing the streets. The sound of pitched battle remained in the lower city.

Arcturus had not been able to get out of the upper city before the doors were shut.

Alone, his heart pounding in his ears, he skirted the backs of noble townhouses, peeking out at the soldiers and knights in the streets, trying not to slip on the muddy, blood-watered ground when he had to scramble for cover. The spy in his own little group had been paid off by House Ravenwatch. He'd not survived - of course - but one of his contacts had, and Arcturus had just managed to help Callum steal a noble's horse and ride for Ravenwatch Castle, praying to any Divine listening that the message might spur some noble house off their arses to come help.

He was also praying to any Divine listening that the Montclair forces wouldn't catch him. He had been the distraction in this little scheme - which meant he'd had to stay behind and lead them away from Callum. And from the shouts of soldiers, they were getting closer.

Heart in his throat, Arcturus moved faster, hopping a broken wall and staying low to the ground as he tried to skirt the soldiers' yells. Someone in glittering armor moved at the end of the alleyway. He jumped back, pressing himself up against the niche of a townhome's back door in an attempt to hide.

The door opened.

Arcturus didn't catch his balance in time.

He sprawled backward, flailing unsuccessfully for anything to catch himself, before landing with an undignified thump on his bum. A bemused-looking handsome noble stared down at him.

"Well. You're not my husband."

The Divines were not on Arcturus' side. "I'm sorry," he said reflexively, "I didn't mean to fall in. Uh-"

He couldn't say 'I'll be going now' or anything of the sort. The soldiers still called outside, and the words stuck in his throat. The nobleman's cool gray eyes assessed him.

"Are you the one they're searching for?" he asked in that perfectly posh accent. Arcturus glanced to the still open door, gritted his teeth, and nodded.

"I don't want to bring trouble on you-"

"Nonsense," said the nobleman cheerfully, and extended a hand to help him up from the floor. "My husband is out there attempting to marshal some sort of defense against these bastards. If you're diverting their attention, I'm sure I have no problem sheltering you."

Arcturus could think of several possible responses for this. None seemed entirely sensible. He let the nobleman help him up, and stared, swaying slightly on his feet from exhaustion and shock, as he closed the door and assessed Arcturus.

"You look like you've been in a war zone." Which was accurate, and Arcturus' throat closed. "My butler can run you a bath, and then we can have a talk about why exactly these Montclair jackoffs want you dead. Acceptable?"

"Yessir," said Arcturus, a little numbly. It seemed the proper thing to say, given the authoritative tone of command under the nobleman's cheerful intonation. And then, once he'd agreed, he couldn't very well protest as a well-dressed butler ushered him away, and as he was bathed (in warm water!), and dressed in the clothes of one of the servants which just nearly fit him properly, and was ushered back to speak with the nobleman.

The nobleman, he'd learned quickly, was Lord Lucien Crane, a merchant lord who got his money trading cross-alliance, and who seemed to be rather keenly interested in how Arcturus had been surviving on the streets. It didn't make it any less embarrassing when the shock and panic of the past twenty hours caught up to Arcturus and he fell asleep in the middle of the conversation.

The occupation of Shornhelm lasted two weeks, and by the end of it, Arcturus still hadn't left Lord Crane's townhome. By the end of it, Lord Crane's husband - one Sir Day - was being hailed as the Hero of Shornhelm, for being instrumental in driving the invading forces from Upper Shornhelm. And by the end of it - after a conversation with Sir Day - Lord Crane, Lucien, offered Arcturus a chance to join his house.

His options were to join House Crane, the way he saw it, or be alone on the streets again. His friends were dead. Sometimes he woke up remembering how their blood felt under his nails. And being alone on the streets...

He didn't really have any options, did he?

So, Arcturus Crane. Having a surname felt strange, and traveling with Lord Lucien and Sir Day, in style, back to the Crane manor house on Lucien's lands, felt stranger. The Crane manor house itself was large, and spacious, and lavish, and....

And, honestly, Arcturus often felt more alone than he ever had on the streets of Shornhelm.

It was something he had to get used to, being alone. Something he had to convince himself wasn't dangerous, wasn't going to get him into trouble. Something that was just a part of this new life that had been offered him, like fine clothes, and regular meals, and learning etiquette and business practices, and an opportunity to think beyond the next sunrise.

Arcturus Crane still wasn't sure he liked being alone. But a year into having Crane as his name... he was, at least, a little less lonely.

[topfakeid]

Topfakeid Scammer

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[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Amazing Spider-Man v5 #30/831 Thoughts

I really enjoyed it but there are some tiny issues.

There are two kinda sorta continuity errors that I have to get out of the way up top.

The first one isn’t as severe as I thought. Reading it on the train home I thought Spencer had made a huge mistake when he recreated the scene of Harry’s coming home party. Namely that Aunt May was there. From my recollections that wasn’t the case. But getting the pages from the original issue (ASM #105 btw) side by side with this I discovered I was mistaken and in a huge way no less.

Not only was Aunt May there but about 95% of the whole scene plays out identically to ASM #105. Seriously even the placement of Randy and Gwen, seen from behind in the original issue, is the same.

Even the dialogue is near identical, there are very few additions to it and the changes are essentially minor, saying the same things with some tweaks to the wording.

There is that annoying 5% though, however since the scene is clear from Peter’s memory it’s entirely possible (especially since he’s in the middle of a fight) that he’s misremembering some details. Case in point Gwen’s got her iconic headband in the flashback which is absent in the original issue, and her hair is noticeably shorter. If intentional this would be a brilliant conveyance of the tricks memory plays upon us. If unintentional, hey it’s easily No. Prized and not a big deal.

The more significant error is more to do with characterization. Peter makes the point that he feels guilty and responsible for Absolute carnage because he brought the Venom symbiote to Earth….buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut David Michelinie himself did a story all about that towards the end of his ASM run. In said story a drugged Spidey does briefly believe this, but then when the drugs wear off essentially disavows this. He’ll still fight the symbiotes of course but he refutes that every evil act Venom and Carnage commit are his fault merely because he brought the symbiote to Earth without knowing what it was.

Again, you can No. Prize it somewhat.

Moving on this issue is very interesting in regards to it’s existence as a tie-in.

As an Absolute Carnage chapter it currently doesn’t seem particularly essential.

And yet Spencer uses it to propel his own story along. I mean honestly who’d have thought you’d get major movement on the Kindred subplot in an Absolute Carnage tie-in?????

In this sense Spencer demonstrates how you can turn a forced tie-in to your own advantage.

Not only do we get major clues regarding Kindred (see this really great post to look at some of those).

but we also get a pretty great examination of Norman Osborn. It’s not comprehensive but for the angle it’s going for it’s very much on the money. It acknowledges Norman as the worst of the worst and cleverly uses his current status quo to the story’s advantage.

We contrast Norman’s prior dominance and scare factor with the depths he’s been reduced to at the start of the story whilst also depicting him as technically more powerful than ever before, able to physically dominate Spider-Man with ease. And all the while emphasising the point that Norman won against Spider-Man years ago because of the emotional scars he inflicted, with the dialogue playing out in tandem to Norman’ physically beating Peter too.

That’s making lemonade out of lemons right there!

Now are Kindred’s words accurate about how Norman won against Spidey years ago?

Yes and no.

A point I bring up time and again to jackoffs who are either fans of other villains or for whatever reason hate Norman on principle and denigrate his feats, is that Norman doesn’t merely want to kill Spider-Man.

Norman in essence has primary and secondary objectives in regards to his conflicts with Spider-Man and fulfilling any of them counts as a win of somekind in his book.

Yes he wants to kill Spider-Man but more significantly he wants to break his spirit. On these fronts Norman acknowledges and is frustrated by his thus far failure. The fact that Peter remains heroic, remains having a fulfilling life for himself in spite of every nasty thing Norman and other people have done to him enrages Norman.

However Norman is if nothing else, sadistic. And for him inflicting a scar, especially an emotional one, is itself a form of victory. In PPSM #75 although Norman is frustrated that the Clone Saga hasn’t broken Peter’s spirit and that he cannot outfight Peter he vocalizes to Peter that killing Ben Reilly was still a win for him and even as he was caught up in a huge explosion he laughed about having still won because he took away Peter and MJ’s baby. In the bonus pages to that story in the trade releases he mentions how things turned out quite nicely, even though he didn’t actually beat Peter.

From the point of view of scarring Peter for life of inflicting wounds he has to live with Norman absolutely did win a long time ago. This is conveyed in the story by Peter dredging up memories in response to Norman’s presence, memories that by rights should be happy but are in fact painful BECAUSE of how Norman has tainted his life. He has of course killed Flash, Gwen, kind of killed Harry and hurt himself and MJ. It’s just a great use of classic continuity and an issue rarely revisited at that.

I also sort of like the idea of Norman being scary because he represents the cynicism of aging and the illusion of optimistic youth. Now that does kind of smack of ‘Spider-Man is about youth!’ but I dunno if that was Spencer’s intention. It’s a nice idea nevertheless as Norman in Spider-Man always represents a kind of dark father figure, not necessarily always to Peter specifically but in general. So Norman’s age is definitely an important component to who he is.

Spencer in (I think) putting all that across demonstrates that he gets this often misunderstood character.

The Kindred stuff itself is interesting as we see another side to him, see how personal this is and how a chance encounter has set him off. We have confirmed he’s modelled himself after Norman, which might be in reference to his look or his general attitude. It should be noted that his outfit does have shades of the Goblin, especially the hood.

Let’s switch over to the art.

Ottley is back and everything looks great especially Carnage!...but...I’m afraid his rendition of the V-man leaves something to be desired. I dunno what it is, maybe I’m just too used to seeing Venom drawn by Stegman at this point, but Ottley’s take doesn’t quite work for me. I think it’s something to do with the eyes.

One final little problem is regarding Normie.

I brought this up in my thoughts post about Absolute Carnage #1 but it bears repeating...does Normie know who Spider-Man is?

I only skimmed Red Goblin because...y’all know why...but I don’t recall Normie learning the truth about Peter so with that said Pete half unmasking to him seems odd if the kid doesn’t know.

I did like merely seeing Normie and acknowledging he’s Peter’s godson though as it’s something I’m annoyed went ignored for so long.

Over all another great issue with some slight problems but highly recommended.

[mahunkel]

Infinity War Is A Bad Movie And Here’s Why

"We don't trade lives" Okay sure but why are you willing to trade all those Wakandan lives for Vision’s even if you succeed in removing the Mind Stone, and HALF THE UNIVERSE if you don’t?

Thanos is basically a Trump supporter and I’m just fucking tired of seeing evil win.

He shouldn’t have been able to get the Soul Stone, because what he felt for Gamora was not love, it was ownership. He kidnapped and tortured her, and the fucking universe validated that as “love” by giving him his prize. Ugh.

The only good parts were written by James Gunn, and he’s gone now which makes it even worse.

The first few minutes are dedicated to destroying the boss-ass future we were promised by the ending of Thor: Ragnarok.

Continuity was barely existent. Like, where was Valkyrie? When the fuck did Doctor Strange swear to protect the Time Stone?

You know from the moment of the Snap that it will be undone, because half of the characters who “died” have fucking movies coming out soon.

We're supposed to care about Vision even though we’ve barely seen him across three goddamn movies.

Doctor Strange should have destroyed the Time Stone the moment he looked into the future and saw only one way to win out of millions, realizing that there are infinite permutations rather than 14 million

The movie wasted Spider-Man, the best character the MCU has. Fight me.

No Hawkeye, even though we’ve been told he was important since the first Thor movie.

Thanos as the narrative protagonist makes the film a jackoff session for entitled rich white men and I don’t know how to explain to you that that is Bad.

[salazzzzle]

Jackoff all trades, master of pog