#Jack is the kid saying he puts rocks on his potatoes

[hiccanna-tidbits]

4000% the RotBTFD kids

in library. talkin about thanksgiving. librarian is asking the kids what they eat, trying to lead them towards thanksgiving food & its like pulling teeth. asking what they pour on mashed potatoes. one kid says Rocks. librarian is like “im thinking of something that starts with GR and its brown” and another kid raises her hand & im like ok this girls on top of everything shes got this. & she goes “gorilla sauce”

[iskratempestmadness]

What would the Baki the Grappler men do with a childish reader? Like they watch shows that are for kids. Eats like a kid. Acts like one.

Baki:

• He needs help. Just help him.

• He doesn't understand how to treat you. Like he has an idea of how this should happen, but he should be gently advised in detail. In general, he needs an experienced mother nearby who will tell him what to do.

• God, he never thought that there were such nimble people in the world! You need to be controlled, and that's why the poor boy can't relax.

• He's shocked by the way you eat. He understands that you are a child, but eating is so messy.. Splashes in all directions, you're covered in mashed potatoes, and you're also trying to spit it out... Bucky needs patience, patience and more patience so that you can eat properly.

• But despite all of the above, he cannot look at himself without emotion. Just a charming, sweet child.

Hanayama:

• he may not show it outwardly, but he is not sure and feels a little panic.

• one of the most patient. If you explain to him how to treat you, he will become a wonderful father.

• The only thing he has difficulty with is sleeping. Putting you to bed is very difficult for him. Although it would seem that it could be simpler. You just take and rock the baby. He understands this perfectly well, but nevertheless it remains a problem. The problem is probably that he's rocking you too much.

• Eating? The airplane is already flying into your mouth. Surprisingly easy to handle. However, he sometimes misfires and then his whole shirt is mashed.

• in principle, he is very patient and calm, so playing with you is not a problem for him.

Katsumi:

• He is confident in himself and his abilities, but for about two minutes.

• Probably call Natsueh and Doppo. He can't do it alone. At the very least, he needs advice. However, he has no plans to dump his responsibilities on them.

• He likes your activity. He likes to see you playing with toys, running around, "freaking out". There's a good chance he'll join you.

• but eating is a nightmare for him. He's tried everything, but it's always the same story anyway. You spit, your whole face, bib and his T-shirt are all mashed up.

• gives the impression of a parent who is trying to cook a meal for a child, talking on the phone and trying to take away a toy from a child that he is trying to stuff into his mouth. Poor guy, he's not that stress-resistant.

Jack:

• confused. Simply, in one word. He doesn't know how to behave with you, how to treat you. He needs help, but he's unlikely to ask for it. It will operate by trial and error... And he's doing pretty well.

• Physical activity? Yes, he's all for it. He will 100% play with you, maybe combine the game and training. Like while he's lifting a barbell while you're sitting playing with toys on it.

• eating is not really a problem for him, rather a difficulty. Sometimes it turns out easily and quickly, and sometimes on a turnaround. It's a matter of chance.

• Should I put you to bed? It's pretty easy for him. It's soft and tidy enough to make you fall asleep quickly. Most likely, he will hum something to make you fall asleep faster.

• He would have been a pretty calm, sweet father.

Retsu:

• No problem. It's really not difficult for him. After he reads a couple of books about children and how to behave with them, it will really be true. But in fact, he has quite a bit of experience with children, so he will have to delve into the question.

• extremely calm and attentive. It can be said that the pure personification of the ideal father figure.

• Food yes? The plane is already flying into your mouth. Say "Aaaah". Or do you prefer the train? Then he's on his way to you. There are no problems with eating, it's surprisingly easy for him.

• Putting you to sleep is also not a problem. His arms are strong enough and his chest is soft enough to make you relax. While you're falling asleep, he'll tell you fairy tales or myths.

Shibukawa:

• Oh, he knows how to treat you, he's quite experienced. He probably already had experience with children, most likely he often coddled his niece, so everything is fine.

• He gets even more mischievous with you, however, he also becomes more tolerant. Like, he might not pay attention to some of the things that you do, although if other people do it, he probably would have already started to get annoyed.

• there are problems with eating. He just can't figure out what you want. And that's why all his kimonos are back in your diet.

• A dream? There are no problems with this. He's actually pretty strong, so don't worry, he'll rock you easily. While he is doing this, he will probably be humming at this time.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Blue Ribbon Birdie

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam

Summary: Tim Drake meets Ted Kord at his fifth-grade science fair.

Chapters: 1/1

Characters: Tim Drake, Ted Kord, Janet Drake, Jack Drake

Additional Tag: Bittersweet Ending, Parent-Child Relationship, Hurt Tim Drake, Absent Parents, Angst

Tim stood beside his trifold poster board, rocking back and forth on his heels and toes, waiting for his parents to arrive. They promised they'd come, but it was getting late, and the judges were about to arrive to judge fifth grade. He wasn't the best student when homework assignments were involved, but he put his whole heart and soul into his science project. Tim thought that if he won, his parents would stick around longer than usual to celebrate. He'd worked tirelessly on the project for weeks, hoping it'd sustain their attention. It wasn't like there was a big competition. It was the usual run-of-the-mill volcanoes, clean pennies, solar systems, and potato batteries. He was a shoo-in.

He thought it'd be a regular science fair with teachers for judges, but he was in for a shock the moment the door opened. Ted Kord. Most kids there didn't know who he was, but Tim did. Ted was his tech hero. He was a modern-day inventor and an all-around good guy.

His heart skipped a beat as Ted made his rounds. Tim was in the very back corner, so he knew he'd be one of the last people Ted spoke to if he had time. And oh man, did Tim hope Ted would have time. Had he known Ted Kord would be a judge, he would've worn a better shirt. His mind raced as he tried to hold onto one central thought. His presentation. Tim rolled his shoulders back and went over his speech in his head. He'd given the same speech hundreds of times before to his nanny. He wasn't sure she was listening, though.

Tim wasn't sure if anyone ever listened to him, but it didn't matter. He liked things that way. At least that's what he told himself. But today was different. He'd impress Ted Kord, and then his parents would have to notice him.

Ted Kord approached Tim's table and smiled. Ted reached out to shake Tim's hand and introduce himself, but before he could speak, Tim took a deep breath, and words spilled out of his mouth. "You're Ted Kord! You're the greatest modern-day inventor there is," Tim smiled.

"I don't know about all that," Ted grinned, "It looks like you've brought something extraordinary to the table. Literally. I don't think I've seen a QR code at one of these things before... I'm excited to see what you've got for us today."

Tim took a second breath and shut his eyes before explaining his science project. He explained how he used coding to develop a quick crisis hotline for Gothamites, even providing a way of exiting the site for fear of being caught. He started to doubt himself, wondering if his project was good enough, but the look on Ted Kord's face told him everything he needed to know.

Ted beamed. "May I? I won't be able to think until I scan the code," Ted whispered. Tim nodded and watched as Ted scanned the code and navigated the site. "If this whole elementary school thing doesn't work out, you've got a job with me. Seriously, though, this is impressive... For anyone. I don't know about the other judges, but I'm ready to give you the big blue ribbon and a patent. This is-. I mean, wow... What else can I say?"

The other judges said their piece, but Tim couldn't hear anything after Ted's commendation. Tim could feel the warmth in his cheeks as he smiled. He stared at his feet and nearly burst into tears when Ted knelt on one knee and pinned the first-place ribbon to his shirt. "You should be so proud of yourself. You made a sophisticated website that can be put to use to help people in need. That's the coolest thing in the world," Ted whispered. Tim was so overcome with emotion that he hugged Ted. The sudden display of affection took Ted aback, but he hugged Tim back.

Tim let go and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm sorry-."

"It's fine. Where are your folks? I'd love to meet them." Ted looked around, and so did Tim. They were nowhere to be found. Another broken promise.

"They're out of town on business," Tim answered, "It's okay, though. I'm gonna write them all about it... Can I-? Would it be too much to ask for your autograph so I could show them that I met you?"

"I'll do you one better. Wanna take a picture?" Ted suggested. Tim nodded and smiled despite the pit in the bottom of his stomach. His teacher took pictures of Ted and Tim standing in front of Tim's poster board, and Ted signed the back of Tim's poster board.

Once the school day ended, he rode home, carrying his poster board with tears in his eyes. He kicked himself for being upset, but he thought things would be different this once. The house was empty, except for his nanny. "How'd you do?" she asked. Tim took his ribbon off and set it on the counter. "What's with the long face? You won!"

"I'm just tired," Tim mumbled. She nodded and let him go to his bedroom. He sat on the floor and shed tears, face hidden in folded arms.

His parents came home the day afterward, thinking they were in time for Tim's big day. "Told you we wouldn't miss your big day for anything-."

"It was yesterday," Tim interrupted, "I forgot to remind you that the timezone's a day ahead here..." Janet frowned and elbowed Jack.

"How'd you do?" Jack questioned.

"I got first place for fifth grade, but I'll know how I did for the school-wide part once the judges go over the fourth, fifth, and sixth winners," Tim answered. He couldn't be moved to display any excitement. He wanted to, but he also wanted them to feel bad for missing it. It was selfish and childish, but goddammit, he was the child. And it wasn't fair. They should've been there cheering him on like all the other parents.

"Oh wow! Tim, that's great news!" Janet exclaimed as she showered him with kisses. It made him feel better, but not enough to provoke a smile from him. "That must've been so exciting!"

"It was... I met Ted Kord and everything," Tim whispered.

"Ted Kord was there?" Jack questioned. Tim nodded.

"I got his autograph. It's on the back of my poster board," Tim replied. Jack picked up the poster board and turned it over.

"How about we get ice cream to celebrate?" Jack suggested. Tim shrugged.

Ice cream wouldn't fix this. Everyone's parents showed up. Except his. And he won! If there was any time when a tantrum was warranted, it'd be right then and there. "You guys promised," Tim cried, "You promised that you'd be there no matter what... And everybody's parents were there! Even the parents of the kids with dopey science projects were there! I worked really hard, and nobody showed up! It's not fair! It's not fair!"

Janet and Jack frowned. They weren't sure what to do with Tim's emotional outburst. To them, it seemed sudden. Janet sat on the floor, unsure what to say, so she reached for him. Tim fought her at first, but he eventually gave in. Jack messed up his hair. It didn't change anything because that wasn't what Tim wanted. Tim wanted an apology but wasn't willing to ask for one. It was the first and last time Tim openly displayed his anger and disappointment in them.

[whumpcereal]

Gosh, I love all the characters, and I would ask a question specifically about Joe, the MOST special boy to my heart, but I want to know so MANY things? ;-;

What’s his favorite cartoon? His favorite comfort food? Is he the kind of person who puts a slipcover on the couch to keep the dog from clawing it up, or the kind of person who throws a blanket over the claw marks when company comes over? What’s a memory with his mom that makes him feel strong and loved when he remembers it? Does he own a pair of fluffy slippers, or a cheesy mug that says something like “FORTY AND FLIRTY” or “WORLD’S BEST DOCTOR” on it?

(I know these questions are very silly, please don’t feel pressured!)

I hope you stay safe! Thank you for the stories!

I'm going to try my best to get my next Whumptober piece out today, but after a very anxious and crappy three hours of sleep last night, I might have derailed the writing train. It's Joe-centric, but just in case I fail, I shall answer these questions to deliver you your daily quotient of Joe, anon.

What's his favorite cartoon? Canonically speaking, Joe's favorite cartoon is "The Fox and the Hound" (he used to cry so hard his mother had to enforce some limits), and he has a soft spot for "Tangled" after Jack's ordeal. However, Joe was a child of the early 90's, and he loved the Disney Afternoon block. "Tailspin" was his favorite because he loved airplanes (and the idea of cloud surfing) when he was a little boy.

What's his favorite comfort food? He and Jack both like blue box mac and cheese. However, if Joe had to choose a last meal, it would be Marilyn's meatloaf and mashed potatoes (which she dutifully made with, uh, meatless meat for him, even though it grosses her out). Mama may or may not have made that for him quite often to try and entice him to eat while Jack was missing.

Is he the kind of person that cares when a dog claws up the furniture? Carl is a prince among dogs and would never. Joe does like to have a blanket on the couch, though, because Carl has more hair than could ever be necessary, and it does seem to be everywhere.

What memory with his mom makes him feel strong and loved when he thinks of it? Oh, Anon, you will love today's piece whenever I finish it. So much Mama and Joe action. His mother is his rock, and she has always been, so most memories of Marilyn make him feel grounded and comfortable. But coming out to her after that kid outed him at school is probably the most important. He was so worried that she'd be disappointed, but she just hugged him and told him how proud she was that he knew who he was--and then took him to egg the little shit's house. "Violence is never the answer, Bear, but sometimes, restrained destruction of property is."

Does he own fuzzy slippers or a cheesy mug? No, but he does have a Pink Freud tee-shirt. Jack rolls his eyes whenever Joe wears it. He also still has his teddy bear (Mr. Phineas Bearrington) and blanket (blue, like Linus) from when he was little.

[masterwords]

a hundred years of blood (pt. 2)

Summary: One of Jessica's favorite clients is an old hermit who lives deep in the woods. When he stops answering his phone, she fears the worst and asks Hotch to come with her...just to check it out. Bad things are about to happen. When Derek realizes Hotch is missing and he might be in danger will the team be able to save them in time? Or will they, too, only find themselves in danger?

Pairing: Hotch/Morgan (established as usual, they just exist as husbands in my head)

Warnings: in this chapter, we talk about cannibals and heroin and broken arms and hotch is definitely drugged and being held captive.

Words: 2.9k

Notes: This chapter is all Hotch being held captive and marched through the woods and...unhappy. Next chapter we'll see where Jess is and what she's up to.

Read on AO3: a hundred years of blood

** CHAPTER LIST **

**

“There are cannibals in these hills.”

Aaron scoffed; his attention faraway on the echoes of footsteps through the woods. His steps, familiar, one then two at a cadence he found fascinating. Left foot heavier than the right, he thought. Maybe, maybe not. His gun was gone and yet...it still felt heavy. Every so often he stumbled and was jerked upright by rough, sure hands. Back onto his uneven footsteps.

“That's what they say, anyway. I been here all my life and never seen 'em, I guess, but maybe you wouldn't really know huh? Probably look just like you and me. Not like they'd just out and say hey the name's Bill and I ate ol' Larry the mechanic's left butt cheek last night with potatoes and carrots like a pot roast, huh? But you might just make their acquaintance tonight. Little further now.”

He couldn't remember how he'd gotten here, out in this starchy bright sunlight filtered through scabby old pine trees, ragged and overgrown with wizard beard lichen. Everything looked dried out, smoked woods, lazy silvery greens and dusty oranges and sickly yellows. Up here, elevation so high, nothing lush grew...it was all barely alive, like a movie with all the saturation turned way down, littered with giant rocky growths that looked like half-buried Stegosaurus. A paleontologist's playground. he thought of Jack and his chest constricted painfully.

The air was thin, and he sucked it eagerly into aching lungs through his nose.

“Right up here,” came Elmer's foggy rich voice, so thick with the hills that Aaron got lost in the words. Every sentence was enchanting, a spell spoken in a whisper of wind through molasses. “This was my daddy's cavern. Kept his stills here. Granddad, he kept his in the old mine down below. See what my daddy didn't realize is that this cavern, you go far enough in, you dip and you wind and maybe you trip a few times over wet old rocks...you get to that mine. They were connected, see, and didn't even know it. Spose no one ever thought to look, what with the tale of the trolls in the hills scaring the kids away. Course there's no trolls, least I don't think there are. Maybe they're about as real as the cannibals, huh?”

Aaron whimpered, the pull of the rope on his broken arm getting to him. He was able to ignore it while it was loose, while there was slack, but when his feet stuck in the murky underbrush, and he stumbled that rope pulled at broken bones bandaged with rough old materials that only pressed and ground them together. The feeling, painful as it were, was far away too. It still belonged to him but was estranged.

He thought the cannibals were a far likelier threat than trolls, but at this point he couldn't afford to pick and choose what he believed and what he didn't. Trolls, sure. He'd be on the lookout for trolls. Why should I worry? Why should I care? Billy Joel's voice echoed through him, became an off-kilter mantra to drown out Elmer's spells. Derek would find him, would bring him home and they'd watch "Oliver and Company" and maybe after this ordeal Derek wouldn't be mean about Billy Joel's singing...it was just enough to keep him putting one foot in front of the other.

He didn't know what it was, exactly, but he knew he'd been drugged. That was about all he needed to know. He had just enough experience with that disconnected from your body feeling, no longer Captain of your own ship floating lost at sea, to know this was no accident. No way his mind should be wandering off to the land of Disney movies when he was in mortal danger, and yet here he was.

“You know I did some digging. Looked your family up. Hotch-ner. Seems you got a lot of sway through these old hills, your name carries some weight...what I understand, you got a little shine in your bloodline too. But your mama, she's too proud to admit she's got cousins up here huh? Yeah, figures. You got some hill in you, that's what makes you...right.”

Aaron couldn't have spoken if he wanted to, his mouth duct taped shut with a sock stuffed deep inside. One of his own, he knew and though it wasn't ideal he figured it was better than any other alternative. Maybe that was why his left foot felt heavier, it was still socked. Right foot was slipping around sweaty in his shoe and he could already feel the blisters rubbing themselves into existence. His tongue felt dry, wasted, the taste of river water and air drying all he could think about. Every sense he had was on overdrive but disconnected from anything corporeal.

The tea, he'd been force fed more of that tea. At first it was just a gently seductive quieting in his skull, and it did dull the ache in his arm. Jess had smiled at him dreamily and drifted off to sleep on that sofa bed snuggled up beside him while Elmer told them stories about...something. Hill people. Aliens. Moon People? But the tea didn't keep him beneath the pain in his arm and after a while he started coming to, eyes open watching Elmer whisper in the shadows to something oily and shapeless in the corner of the room. Elmer must have heard him move, because he'd come flying toward the bed so fast and he came with the tea, but it wasn't really tea anymore it was more of a syrup that tasted like ambrosia and evil and Aaron floated away on a thick honey golden ray of light into the ether. He had no idea what was in it, didn't really matter now, not really.

By morning, he'd woken with a beat at his skull so hard he really thought something was wrong. That he was dying. It was sharp, an ice pick in his eye. His memories of the night before were vague, floaty and painful. It took more time than it should have just for him to come to his senses and realize that Jessica wasn't beside him.

Her car was gone, and he was alone with Elmer Chambers.

“She's gone to fetch a doctor for you, alright son. You just lie here and stay quiet. You're sick as a dog. Musta come on you sometime in the night, fever sky high.” With every thread of rational thought, everything he could cling to like water through his fingers, he just hoped that she'd called Derek. The team could figure it out from there if she could just get them to Elmer's house. He had to assume Elmer had led her away on a wild goose chase though...that doctor couldn't possibly be real, could he?

Jess and her heart of gold. Her unfailing and unyielding belief in the good of people. Isn't that why she stuck beside him, even after what happened to her sister? To her family? He couldn't blame her, not seeing this side of Elmer, he was good. Probably one of the best Aaron had ever seen. He'd laid back on the futon with his eyes closed for most of the early morning, miserable and willing himself not to be sick in the bed sheets while Jess visited with Elmer and worried over him. He remembered hearing her wind chime voice. It had soothed him to sleep more than once, no matter how bad he felt she was there. And Elmer was endearing. Sweet, charming old man. Anyone would have been taken in. He wasn't hiding anything; it was almost like this was a wholly separate person.

Without actually being that. This wasn't an act; this wasn't a diagnosis...this was something else entirely and Aaron in his drug addled mind couldn't figure it out. It had taken him too long to even realize that he was being drugged, that's how good Elmer was.

“Drink this son, it'll help the pain in your arm...old family recipe. Gosh, I am sorry about that.” Yeah, easy. He drank it, set that ceramic mug right to his lips and sucked that mug dry. It tasted good, all those fleeting summery flavors of honeysuckle and blueberry. Like something his mother used to give him at night when he was anxious or sick. It tasted like the most saccharine comfort. “The ginseng will settle ya right to sleep.” It didn't sound right, but he was in no condition to argue. His arm hurt so bad he probably would have done anything to make it stop howling. Truthfully, no matter how he hated that sticky resin in his veins, it had taken the pain away even faster than the tea and he hadn't minded it a bit.

“Why are you doing this?” he'd asked when Elmer tied the ropes too tight around his wrists and began tugging him toward the door.

“Well, son, you see...I ain't got no choice. One of those Dumont morons went and violated the contract, and that means he got himself killed. I was well within my rights. But retaliation laws as they are, my Trudy was taken as collateral. Ain't fair, see...I can't...it ain't right. She bein' all I had left in this world. But they said if I sacrifice something important maybe I get her back.”

Aaron stumbled and fell to his knees with a cry, curling himself up around his painful arm. “I'm not important.”

“Naw but see...that's where you're wrong. I thought maybe Jessie was the one I should pick, but that'd only hurt me, and I don't think that's good enough cos I love her. I love that girl. She's like the daughter I never got. Killin' her won't do no good, they'll seek more. No, I gotta break her heart and let her live...breakin' her heart, that's already killin' me. So, I know it's right. You. Losing you will break her heart, see?”

Aaron didn't think that sounded right, it sounded insane, like the ravings of a complete lunatic but he wasn't in any state of mind to argue logic. Especially not with a man who had so completely given logic up long ago. “My team...” he whispered, waiting for Elmer to tug him to his feet again but Elmer only let him rest. He was old, he needed the moment too. They had plenty of daylight left.

“Yes, your team will come, I reckon. Maybe not today, if they're smart, but tomorrow when they got enough daylight. Sure thing. And hell, one of 'em might kill me...but not before the others get to you. Lotta blood gonna be spilled in these hills, they'll be fed good tonight.”

Everything was unnaturally still, no wildlife chirping or buzzing or mewling. It was just the sound of their breath. Elmer's was heavy, winded, he was too old for this trek and his body was letting him know. Aaron should have been able to do it easily except for the strange concoction of Elmer's drugs in his system and the intensity of the swollen, black and blue throbbing in his arm.

It was quiet after that, the way they trudged through the pine needles and oak leaves, scattered, dried to a crisp but wet far enough beneath to know that some slippery slimy creatures were enjoying themselves plenty. Feeding on a bountiful harvest of sweet decay. He thought about offering Elmer a deal, something to make him stop, plead for his life with some sort of dignity but there wasn't a single damned thing he was willing to offer a man who would try to hurt Jessica. Claim to love her and then do this to her. No, he wouldn't offer a thing, he would just have to resign himself to staying alive long enough to bring her back up that mountain with a doctor and the team in tow.

“What was in that tea?” he asked, almost thoughtfully, coherently. He'd gathered enough of his wits to know he needed to keep Elmer talking...he wasn't any different from any other old man. He loved to talk, to tell stories, to ruminate like a cow chewing cud on the past and spit it out thoughtfully. Old memories made anew on the tip of his tongue.

“Old family recipe,” he replied quietly, tugging at the rope fast enough to make Aaron skip a step and stumble again. His legs flew out from under him, and he struggled to get them back, to land upright, but he hit chest first right on that arm and he cried out again. Couldn't help that. Wasn't going to try. Eventually it would get old. “Oh we got some peppermint, some chamomile, some turmeric and marshmallow root...” his voice was soothing, in direct opposition to the way he jerked Aaron to his feet harsh and fast. Strong for a man in his eighties. “Ginseng, of course. And you promise not to give away the secret ingredient?”

Aaron swallowed hard and nodded, as if he cared, as if it was important. Just stalling. Elmer smiled.

“Papaver somniferum...” he drawled that last bit and Aaron shut his eyes, closed them tight and willed his stomach to stop flipping and flopping anxiously. “I see you're familiar with it. Well, son, guess you might as well know my fortune doesn't solely come from those decades' old stills or that damned rotten root that eats up my life, makes me and everyone around me bleed...no, I got my own gig. When I was a kid, I thought they were pretty. Wanted a field of 'em, just like in Wizard of Oz see. First color movie I ever saw and it was somethin'...never seen poppies before, couldn't get 'em outta my mind after. You ever seen anything so beautiful in your life? But just like my granddaddy and his ginseng, my daddy and his moonshine, those lights in the sky opened a door into my head and they spoke to me...boy you know what they said?”

“Opium,” Aaron whispered to himself. Elmer clapped his enormous hands, tugging Aaron's together painfully too.

“Right oh! Boy, it's easy, and just like those lights changed the ginseng and the shine til they were something special, so they did my poppies. Can't get anything like it in the whole world. Course Ms. Brooks doesn't know about the poppy field. Thinks all my money comes to me from my daddy and his stills. Seein' as either you or me is about to die I figure it's fine if I divulge. Just a little. I'm a lonely old man and unburdening myself to a good listener such as yourself feels downright nice.”

“You gave me...” he couldn't seem to wrap his mind around it.

“Opium. That's right. It's easy enough to hide in tea, at least small amounts. The rest you'll find went in easy in other ways once you were dead to the world. And when it starts wearing off...”

That was when the sock went in, pulled out of the sawdust and dirt filled pocket of Elmer's pilled old flannel, followed by a strip of duct tape that was going to rip out more than a few of his hairs and maybe his lips when all was said and done. That was when talk of cannibals began. Aaron thought he'd be sick but that sounded damned awful, and he did his best not to give much thought to the way his stomach lurched, fought to eject everything he'd put inside over the last day. If he didn't give it power, maybe he could hold it at bay. Why should I worry? Why should I care?

The cave was cold, the sound of water dripping echoed through every one of his senses. It hummed a deep earthy song that rattled around in the marrow of his bones. Through the inkblot shadows they walked, he stumbled, and then down down over crumbling rocky steps...so far down. The steps seemed carved into the stone, so crisp and clean they couldn't have been as old as Elmer claimed they were. So far, so far down.

He kept his back to the cave wall, dragging his shoulders against it for some relief to the falling feeling of going so deep. Above them, there was only a pinprick of light left, nothing to walk by, and Elmer seemed to know the way by something other than light. He just...knew. “You just keep followin' me, don't try to look for nothin, don't stumble...we got a long way here, son, but you just keep pressin' forward and the steps will guide you. Don't know how, but they will. Darndest thing.”

Solid ground came after a time, but his legs stumbled and turned to jelly as he tried to take another step that wasn't there. He crashed to the ground and couldn't get back up, not on his own. He just lay there panting, half-breathing the dank musty air. Around them were walls covered in old barrels, piled high high high. Stacked precariously, some of them, leaning like a child's block tower and ready to fall. Elmer didn't bother to try and move him, just left him lying there sprawled on the ground with his sweaty face in the dirt and his heart thundering a wildly erratic drum beat in his chest.

“Gonna take that sock outta your mouth now. You can scream and holler all you like from in here, ain't no one gonna hear you 'cept the wrong sorts of people I reckon, so it might do you good to stay quiet. There's bound to be someone guarding each of the tunnels, see. Never know who you'll run into, who lives so deep in here. Might be best you stay put in this cavern, see. Don't try to go back up, neither, you'll never make it without me. Just stay put and maybe this turns out okay for us both, huh?”

[watsername]

anyway here’s DSMP streamers based on how they’d fair with me in a fight

Details as for why I decided on these ranks under readmore

link to tiermaker

Would beat the shit out of them

Tommy- what’s his lanky ass gonna do?? Stop me???

George- ‘oh but salty, he’s a recovering hypebeast!! He’s not the uwu baby everyone thinks he is’ I know and I am perfectly aware, but he’s not alpha enough to defend himself against these hands. Sure he’s a 🤪crackhead 🤪 but what’s that gonna do against me. He would simply raise his arms as a shield and say ‘ow :(‘ until he surrenders.

Jack manifold- he has it coming.

It’d be close but id win

Fundy- he’s lanky, but he has height on me. I could beat the shut out of his shins but he could definitely push me over and I simply would not get back up. id kick his legs.

Quackity- I almost put him in the first category. Almost. But I feel like he’d get a random spurt of energy and almost take me down

Hbomb- I just feel like I could take his ass down. He’d injure me for sure, but I could do it.

Antfrost- it’s not homophobic if I’m also part of the el gee bee tea community. I’m scared that red would beat me up but not that scared

Tubbo- the kids unhinged. He’d be pulling these weird ass attacks yelling about some random shit I don’t understand and eventually tire himself out so that I can take him down easily

Karl- I feel like he has good defences. But his shins are unprotected.

Fair fight

Dream- He has height on me so he could theoretically beat the everloving shit out of me but his feet are fucking massive (clown) and that’s what I target

Techno- the only thing stopping me from winning is his height, this man spends all his time farming potatoes I could clart him if he wasn’t a giant

Puffy- we are the same height.

Hannah- we have too much respect for the others eyeliner to do any real damage

It’d be close but they’d win

Sapnap- he’s polite. He’s a sweet little Texas man. But I do also believe him when he said he’d rock chats shit with the meanest uppercut if they ever tried to fight him. He’s been through a lot with chat. I believe him.

Connor- I was going to say I could beat him up, but looking that little face in the eyes made me feel something akin to fear. I don’t think he has the ability to absolutely beat the shit out of me. But he could win.

Ranboo- this kid moves like a cartoon character. 90% of the fight is just him bouncing around me not actually making any hits. I attack the shins (again). He utilises his gargantuan height and picks me up rendering me useless. I have lost the fight.

Charlie- unassuming, but ripped.

Alyssa- she’d be easy on me, get bored and then clart me. I believe in her

Would absolutely clart me

Wilbur- I’ve seen the vlogs. Man would not hesitate to tackle me just like he did Tommy. I have been murdered by Wilbur Soot.

Bad- can and will cut me, carries a gun on him at all times.

Skeppy- he’d just straight up beat the shit out of me idk what to tell u

Purpled- see above

Punz- Chad.

Philza- threatened to punt jack manifold into the sun. I believe him.

Could batter me but simply wouldn’t

Niki- this girl can be scary I’ve seen her talk to her chat about the way men treat her pop off queen you could absolutely batter anyone but only would hurt the people who wrong her and I would never do that to her

Sam- golden retriever, sweetheart. So sweet and wonderful. Could punt me if he wanted to but he’s too nice for that

Foolish- himbo: beefy, dumb and kind.

Eret- 6’3 +7 inch platforms, dangerous but it’s not practical it’s ✨ fashion ✨

Ponk- I wholeheartedly believe ponk could clart me but would absolutely hesitate because she’s very sweet and I love them hashtag lemon society

Simply would not fight in the first place

Callahan.

[bluecarelesswhisper]

TOP 100 FEMALE SOLO SINGERS OF THE '50S AND '60S

Patti Page - All My Love, The Tennessee Waltz, Mockin' Bird Hill, I Went to Your Wedding, The Doggie in the Window, Cross Over the Bridge, Allegheny Moon, Old Cape Cod; Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte

Connie Francis - Who's Sorry Now, My Happiness, Lipstick on Your Collar, Everybody's Somebody's Fool, My Heart Has a Mind of its Own, Where the Boys Are, Don't Break the Heart That Loves You

Brenda Lee - Sweet Nothin's, I'm Sorry, I Want to Be Wanted, Fool #1, Break it to Me Gently, All Alone Am I

Kay Starr - Wheel of Fortune, Side By Side, Changing Partners, If You Love Me (Really Love Me), Rock and Roll Waltz

Doris Day - A Guy is a Guy, Secret Love, If I Give My Heart to You; Whatever Will Be, Will Be (Que Sera, Sera); Everybody Loves a Lover

Dionne Warwick - Anyone Who Had a Heart, Walk on By, I Say a Little Prayer, (Theme from) Valley of the Dolls, I'll Never Fall in Love Again

Aretha Franklin - I Never Loved a Man (The Way I Love You), Respect, Baby I Love You, Chain of Fools, The House That Jack Built

Teresa Brewer - Music! Music! Music!, Till I Waltz Again With You, Ricochet, A Tear Fell, A Sweet Old Fashioned Girl

Jo Stafford - Shrimp Boats, You Belong to Me, Jambalaya, Keep it a Secret, Make Love to Me!

Rosemary Clooney - Come On-a My House, Half as Much, Botch-A-Me, Hey There, This Ole House

Joni James - Why Don't You Believe Me, Have You Heard, Your Cheatin' Heart; My Love, My Love; How Important Can it Be?

Petula Clark - Downtown, I Know a Place, My Love, This is My Song, Don't Sleep in the Subway

Dinah Washington - I Don't Hurt Anymore, What a Diff'rence a Day Makes, Unforgettable, This Bitter Earth

Mary Wells - The One Who Really Loves You, You Beat Me to the Punch, Two Lovers, My Guy

Georgia Gibbs - Kiss of Fire, Seven Lonely Days, Tweedle Dee, Dance With Me Henry (Wallflower)

Lesley Gore - It's My Party, Judy's Turn to Cry, She's a Fool, You Don't Own Me

Nancy Sinatra - These Boots Are Made For Walkin'; How Does That Grab You, Darlin'?; Sugar Town, Love Eyes

Sarah Vaughan - Make Yourself Comfortable, How Important Can it Be?, Whatever Lola Wants, Broken-Hearted Melody

Dusty Springfield - I Only Want to Be With You, Wishin' and Hopin', You Don't Have to Say You Love Me, Son-Of-A Preacher Man

Ruth Brown - Teardrops From My Eyes, 5-10-15 Hours, (Mama) He Treats Your Daughter Mean, Oh What a Dream

Kitty Wells - It Wasn't God Who Made Honky Tonk Angels, Makin' Believe, Searching (For Someone Like You), Heartbreak U.S.A.

Etta James - The Wallflower, All I Could Do Was Cry, At Last, Tell Mama

LaVern Baker - Tweedlee Dee, Play it Fair, Jim Dandy, I Cried a Tear

Gale Storm - I Hear You Knocking, Teen Age Prayer, Dark Moon

Dinah Shore - My Heart Cries For You, Sweet Violets, Chantz-Chantez

Jaye P. Morgan - That's All I Want From You, Danger! Heartbreak Ahead, The Longest Walk

Eydie Gorme - Mama, Teach Me to Dance; You Need Hands, Blame it on the Bossa Nova

Carla Thomas - Gee Whiz (Look at His Eyes), B-A-B-Y, I Like What You're Doing (To Me)

Patsy Cline - Walkin' After Midnight, I Fall to Pieces, Crazy

Peggy Lee - Lover, Fever, Is That All There Is

Dee Dee Sharp - Mashed Potato Time, Gravy (For My Mashed Potatoes), Ride!

Kitty Kallen - Little Things Mean a Lot, In the Chapel in the Moonlight, My Coloring Book

Annette - Tall Paul, O Dio Mio, Pineapple Princess

Cher - All I Really Want to Do, Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down), You Better Sit Down Kids

Barbra Streisand - People, He Touched Me, Second Hand Rose

Linda Scott - I've Told Every Little Star, Don't Bet Money Honey, I Don't Know Why

Connie Smith - Once a Day, Ain't Had No Lovin', The Hurtin's All Over

Barbara Lewis - Hello Stranger, Baby I'm Yours, Make Me Your Baby

Anita Bryant - Till There Was You, Paper Roses, In My Little Corner of the World

Skeeter Davis - My Last Date (With You), The End of the World, I Can't Stay Mad at You

Sue Thompson - Sad Movies (Make Me Cry), Norman, Paper Tiger

Della Reese - And That Reminds Me, Don't You Know, Not One Minute More

Loretta Lynn - Don't Come Home A-Drinkin' (With Lovin' on Your Mind), Fist City, Woman of the World (Leave My World Alone)

Betty Everett - You're No Good, The Shoop Shoop Song, There Comes a Time

Jackie DeShannon - What the World Needs Now is Love, Put a Little Love in Your Heart, Love Will Find a Way

Timi Yuro - Hurt, What's a Matter Baby, Make the World Go Away

Debbie Reynolds - Tammy, A Very Special Love, Am I That Easy to Forget

Gogi Grant - Suddenly There's a Valley, Who Are We, The Wayward Wind

Maxine Brown - All in My Mind, Funny, Oh No Not My Baby

Betty Johnson - I Dreamed, Little White Lies, The Little Blue Man

Jean Shepard - A Satisfied Mind, Beautiful Lies, Second Fiddle (To An Old Guitar)

Shirley Ellis - The Nitty Gitty, The Name Game, The Clapping Song

Little Eva - The Loco-Motion, Keep Your Hands Off My Baby, Let's Turkey Trot

Vera Lynn - Auf Wiederseh'n Sweetheart, Yours, If You Love Me (Really Love Me)

Eartha Kitt - C'est Si Bon, Santa Baby, Somebody Bad Stole De Wedding Bell

Lulu - To Sir With Love, Best of Both Worlds, Morning Dew

June Valli - Crying in the Chapel, I Understand, Apple Green

Connie Stevens - Sixteen Reasons, Why'd You Wanna Make Me Cry, Mr. Songwriter

Jane Morgan - Fascination, The Day the Rains Came, With Open Arms

Nancy Wilson - (You Don't Know) How Glad I Am, I Wanna Be With You; Face it Girl, it's Over

Esther Phillips - Release Me, And I Love Him, When a Woman Loves a Man

Vikki Carr - It Must Be Him, The Lesson, With Pen in Hand

Little Peggy March - I Will Follow Him, I Wish I Were a Princess; Hello Heartache, Goodbye Love

Mindy Carson - Candy and Cake, My Foolish Heart, Wake the Town and Tell the People

Sandy Posey - Born a Woman, Single Girl, I Take it Back

Bobbie Gentry - Ode to Billie Joe, Fancy

Brenda Holloway - Every Little Bit Hurts, When I'm Gone

Eileen Rodgers - Miracle of Love, Treasure of Your Love

Barbara Lynn - You'll Lose a Good Thing, Second Fiddle Girl

Dottie West - Here Comes My Baby, Would You Hold it Against Me

Baby Washington - That's How Heartaches Are Made, Only Those in Love

Kathy Linden - Billy; Goodbye Jimmy, Goodbye

Cathy Carr - Ivory Tower, First Anniversary

Fontella Bass - Rescue Me, Recovery

Barbara Mason - Yes, I'm Ready; Sad, Sad Girl

Marianne Faithfull - As Tears Go By, Summer Nights

Shelley Fabares - Johnny Angel, Johnny Loves Me

Wanda Jackson - Let's Have a Party, In the Middle of a Heartache

Tammy Wynette - D-I-V-O-R-C-E, Stand By Your Man

Mama Cass - Dream a Little Dream of Me, It's Getting Better

Faye Adams - Shake a Hand, Hurts Me to My Heart

Jill Corey - I Love My Baby, Love Me to Pieces

Dodie Stevens - Pink Shoe Laces, No

Bettye Swann - Make Me Yours, Don't Touch Me

Jan Howard - Evil on Your Mind, Bad Seed

Nina Simone - I Loves You, Porgy; Ain't Got No; I Got Life

Norma Jean - Go Cat Go, I Wouldn't Buy a Used Car From Him

Miss Toni Fisher - The Big Hurt, West of the Wall

Damita Jo - I'll Be There, If You Go Away

Patty Duke - Don't Just Stand There, Say Something Funny

Bonnie Guitar - Dark Moon, Mister Fire Eyes

Gloria Lynne - I Wish You Love, Watermelon Man

Jody Miller - Queen of the House, Home of the Brave

Gisele MacKenzie - Hard to Get, The Star You Wished Upon Last Night

Betty Madigan - Joey, Dance Everyone Dance

Ketty Lester - Love Letters, But Not For Me

Barbara George - I Know (You Don't Love Me No More), You Talk About Love

Joanie Sommers - One Boy, Johnny Get Angry

Irma Thomas - Don't Mess With My Man, Wish Someone Would Care

Diane Renay - Navy Blue, Kiss Me Sailor

[isbus]

The City

Summary

Adam begins his adventure at the main spot for Greedy demons.

Chapter 2: All Bets Are Off

“What else do they have here?” I ask before regretting my decision as I knew, they have everything... don’t they? I groaned as he started listing off things such as clubs, restaurants, museums, casinos, wait, casinos? That sounds fun! Let’s go to the casino! I hope I’ll see King Dice or someone like that! “Let’s go to the casino!” 

“Which one? The Bettigan Casino is the most popular but if you want the least popular then...” he trailed off as I fake-snored. “Soo... you want the Bettigan Casino?”-I nod-“Alright, basic bitch casino it is.” He took my hand and dragged me out of the club to the packed streets, looking for bright lights and loud sounds as if he was a zombie. “This way, sidekick.”

Sam walked over to the right and over through an alley filled with moans, and groans, and lascivious noises just to be in front of a very bright building that was covered in multiple different lights. We entered through the velvet doors and saw multiple crazy sights- beautiful people playing outrageous games, many creatures with instruments playing on a stage, and people watching the music being played. 

“Wow... this place is huge!” I shake Sam with excitement and energy. I could hear Rock It For Me by Caravan Palace being played by the band but it quickly ended and soon Trouble by Cage the Elephant started. A girl with blonde hair and a red dress with a card skirt began to sing. “What should we do?” I was out-of-my-mind excited. 

“Haven’t you been in a casino before?” he asked, sounding curious as if the sights were new to him as well. 

“No, I died at 19.” I say matter-of-factly. He groans in response. 

“Shit, I died at 21 and didn’t get a chance to go to a casino so... I guess we’re both fucked on the thought of doing something here...” he looked down at his shoes before hearing the clicks from the shoes of someone who stood over him. He looked up when seeing his shadow overlapped by another man’s shadow. 

“Hello there, I’m Spade Clubs, but please, call me one or the other.” He smiled with pearly white teeth and pale rose lips. He had a brown quiff, a blue vest, dark blue slacks, a green club tie, a club mark next to his mouth, a green and blue top hat, and dark forest green dress shoes. His smile, which was directed towards Sam, suddenly became a grin when seeing me stare. “Are you curious, Adam?” 

“How do you know my name?” I ask. He chuckles back at me and pushes my fringe aside to look at me in both of my eyes. 

“I can see your horns, Adam.” I stare into his club and spade pupils as his face gets close to mine. He immediately backs up and laughs. “I’m kidding! I know it because I have my own Dead Encyclopedia!” I look awfully scared as he asks what’s up. 

“Oh, you got me, that’s all.” I felt the top of my head for safe measures. He laughs some more at my reaction, making me sound a little irritated at his annoying laugh. I bet some girl in the audience thinks it’s sexy. I laughed along with him before continuing to talk. “So, What should we do here?” I ask. 

“What do you feel like doing? Playing games? Listening to music? Having fun?” He whispered the last question just to wink. 

“None of that, we’re not fags!” Sam tried to defend before saying another word. “You’re not gay, right?” I shake my head. 

“I didn’t say you had to have me, you could have Diamond if you wanted to. But that’s not the point... you can do anything you want down here including eating broccoli soup with belladonna leaves! So, do what you wanna do, eat what you wanna eat, play what you wanna play, and so on and so forth.” His hands done weird gestures as he spoke about what happens down here. He laughed after he was done explaining. “So, I’ll help you out with what you can do down in Mr. Bettigan’s Casino of Fun and- well- fun!” 

I smile as he begins to push us towards a table by a window. We sat down and watched as the star of the show sing the final parts of the song. She vocalized at the end before exiting the stage. I noticed Spade walk over to the backstage but I couldn’t tell what was happening from there. Suddenly I saw them both walk out from backstage and walk towards our table. Women were vocalizing and once I looked on the stage, I saw a bowl of clam chowder sat on a stool behind the microphone. 

“How do you do? I see you met my faithful waiting-man.” She sung to the beat. I noticed that the clam chowder, as anyone would expect, wasn’t singing. She smiled. “Alright I’m done with the jokes. I’m Diamond Hearts. What’s your name? Isn’t it Adam Vil?”

I nearly shouted in rage from how pretty much everyone I met knew my name. “Yes, how’d you know?” I asked, sounding a tad annoyed.. 

“Oh, this is simple, it goes a little like Spade-told-me-everything.” She laughed. “Now, what would you like to do? Eat, drink, play, or all of the above?” I was hungry so I told her that I wanted to do all of the above starting with food. Spade moved over to the a door which I presumed lead to the kitchen and came out with menus in the crook of his arm. Diamond took one from Spade and then passed it over to me. Spade gave the other one to Sam while looking over at Diamond with a sincere smile. 

“Touch the button in the middle whenever you’re ready to order and I’ll be rushing to your table in a matter of time.” He directed his smile to us before strutting over to the entrance where he began to wait for the next people to enter. I pulled up the menu that was handed to me and searched the menu for something that suited my fancy. 

Sam on the other hand, looked over the menu then put it down with the speed of Usain Bolt. He looked over at me as I gave him a questioning stare. “What? All I want is a bottle of whiskey and some chicken tenders.” He nearly shouted. Spade heard that and rushed over to our table. 

“Didn’t I tell you that you have to press the button? But never mind your mistake, I presume you’re ready to order?” He asked sounding kind to cover up his anger. “You,”-he pointed to Sam-“ordered whiskey and chicken tenders; couldn’t forget that for the world. So, Adam, what would you like?” He looked over at me— was his spade pupil always on the left side? 

“I want vodka and Salisbury steak with mashed potatoes.” I simply stated while Sam glared. 

“Oh! How exciting and different that is! I’ll get my cooks to make it the best just for you as you ARE the prince of Hell.” He giggled like a girl then ambled over to the kitchen. I stared at Sam as he glanced back at me from time to time.

He sounded irritated as he asked me the most boring question. “What?”  

“Nothing but one question; why whiskey and chicken tenders?” I didn’t know what to ask so I just asked a question that was in the back of my head and should have not been asked. It was awkward cause I knew what his response was, “Why should I tell you”, or “It’s because my family liked it”. But I never would guess anything like what he said. 

“I ate that when I died,” I assumed that his food was poisoned or something until I was fully aware of why their was a noose around his neck and a shirt that said ‘Beer Pong Champ’ in black sharpie on the blank canvas of a shirt. “Before I killed myself, I was drinking and eating that same meal. But then I got so drunk, I must’ve hung myself.”

My heart was tugged at as he spoken about his death. “That’s depressing...” I mumbled. I thought about my death and realized that we had similarities. "Wait," 

"What?" He quickly responded. 

I thought about it some more before continuing the conversation. "I had a friend when I was alive who committed suicide while intoxicated. Could that have been you?" I looked at him in the eyes. 

"I- Maybe... But my Adam didn't know his dad- Wait. That explains everything! No wonder we get along so well!" He reached over the table with his arms out for a hug. I rejoiced in my head and done the same as him. Our arms wrapped around each other as we smiled.

When we were in the middle of said hug, we heard someone clear their throat. "Hot food and cold drinks are here!" We stopped hugging, sat back down, and looked to see Spade with a tray of food. "Thank you." He smirked with a singy-song voice. Spade sat the food down in our respective areas along with the drinks towards the tops of our knives. 

"Thanks, Spade!" We both conveyed to him. 

He laughed since we were synchronized when speaking. "It's nothing as long as you pay the bill." Spade howled with laughter. "Now let me leave you two lovebirds alone." He began to walk away before we could start protesting against his words. Sam shook his head. 

"Never really liked the king, or the queen, or any of the card demons. They're all just bad people." Sam mumbled under his breath. 

I was very confused. "Who and what are you talking about?" I asked him like if I didn't know I was gonna die... again. 

Sam glared at Spade as he sashayed away. "Don't you know? He's the king of black cards, Diamond is the queen of red cards, there's two more but they don't go with the suits. They're just jack and joker. The people who run this place are card demons. They suffer from the sin of greed. Like Spade's death; he used to bet his life for a abundance of money." 

"Wow... I didn't think of that..." Then I started to think of the other sins. 

If they suffer from the sin of greed then there must be at least six other sins to deal with in my venture through The City... 

"Uh, hello? Ya there?" Sam snapped me back into reality with his rough voice that makes me- wait. I nearly said something I might regret... oOpS 

"Oh! Uh.. yeah just thinking." I responded awkwardly. 

"Don't think to much; those demons of Lovers Land really like a man who can think without his dick." He laughed. I didn't laugh until I came to realize that maybe the demons there might be strippers. I bet they work at a club like 'Satan is my Daddy'. 

"Haha, yeah." He was really funny for a guy with such a tragic backstory. Although, that makes sense since that one comedian said something about funny people being depressed and stuff. I can't remember the exact quote. But instead of dwelling on his sadness, I decided to eat. 

Once he remembered that he had food, after seeing me dig in, he took a few bites. "It seems they put a little bit of hearts hormones on my chicken tenders..." he told himself. 

"Of course we did!" Spade loomed over Sam and smiled with closed eyes. Suddenly opening them to see his pupils switched from what we were used to. "What better way to knock out the prince of Hell's friend?" That sincere smiled changed to a sinister grin. 

"Good thing that chef of yours put in only one shot." Out of fucking nowhere, the glass shattered leaving us with, surprisingly, no cuts? Once our eyes opened from the shock, we looked over to our right to see (insert LoZ Chest Opening Music here) a man with messy blonde hair, a decorative mask, and a Vega-like* costume. 

"Prince Adam," He began, his words muffled by the mask since it had no mouth holes. "It's time to meet your fate... AGAIN!" He shouted while drawing his sword, a blood stained katana. 

"Who in (censored)'s name are you?!" His eyes, which you could barely tell, widened. 

"How dare you speak the un-lord's name in vain?! No wonder the king sent me here to kill you... again." You could barely tell but he began glaring at me. "I wonder how many cuts it'll take for the Devil's son to officially die..." 

Sam throws a bottle down to get the guy's attention. "I bet you won't be able to cut him at all!" 

The man, about to cut me, stopped at the word 'bet'. "What are you going to give me in return?" 

"This!" He holds up a hand grenade which was covered in rust and had an upside down cross. 

It was clear that he wanted it, by the way he stared in awe. "The 'Unholy Hand Grenade'?! How did you get your hands on that?!" 

"Does it matter? It's yours if you manage to slice him at least once." Sam winks at me. 

"Did you just wink at him?" 

"Of course not. Why?" 

"I swore you did..." 

"If you keep it up I won't give you it." 

"Ugh!" The man rushes towards me with his katana. "Give me everything you got, Adam!" He begins by jabbing at me, which I avoided by backing up. I tripped over a table, but I immediately got behind it. Once I thought I was safe, he stabbed through the round table. If I was any closer, it would be through my head. 

I thought he would pull it out and try stabbing in a different area of the table, but he actually lifted the table with his sword. What is his sword made of?! 

I tried running away but, before I could, he grabbed my shirt. Then I remembered Sam's wink. I thought quickly about what it meant, then I saw him about to slice my neck. My first instinct was to put my arm in front of my neck. 

I looked at my arm, and there was a deep, bloody, cut. I was about to scream in fear and pain, but I realized something very weird. There was no pain. I didn't feel the cut or anything. I might be imagining things, but, it looked like it was beginning to close up. 

"I did it!" He shouted. "Now, give me that Unholy Hand Grenade and I will end this!" 

Sam slightly grins. "Alright," he starts taking the pin out. "I will." The masked man's mask falls off and shows his terror. 

"NO! PLEASE, NO!" He yells in a plea. Once the pin was nearly out, a man with blonde hair, a yellow shirt and sneakers, and a jacket with pants (both black), snatched the hand grenade out of Sam's hand- pin and all. 

"Yoinked!" He grins. "Buh-Bye!" He throws his hand down as if he thrown a smoke bomb, then yellow smoke filled the room, and he was gone. 

Everyone who was still here, coughed and gagged on the smoke. People opened the windows to air out the yellow fog, and saw something that kids shouldn't see. Where the man was standing when he 'Yoinked' the Unholy Hand Grenade, was a mini slot machine which had a dancing stick figure*. 

"Damn. My most expensive item." He looked down. 

I quickly changed the subject. "Sam, where are we going next, anyway?"

- NOTES -

*1: Vega is a character from the Street Fighter franchise who I inspired the Masked man Jack O. Trades off of. 

*2 The Dancing Stick figure is a reference to Henry Stickman (GET DISTRACTED)

[aion-rsa]

Summer Movie Preview: From Black Widow to The Suicide Squad and Beyond

https://ift.tt/3fnRIQl

The summer movie season has returned. Finally. Once something we all just took for granted, like handshakes and indoor dining, a summertime season stuffed with pricy Hollywood blockbusters and cinematic escapism suddenly feels like a long lost friend. But, rest assured, the summer movie season is genuinely and truly here. It’s maybe a little later than normal, yet it’s still in time for Memorial Day in the States.

This is of course happy news since many of the big screen events of this year have been 12 months or more in the offing. A Quiet Place Part II was supposed to open two Marches ago, and In the Heights is opening almost an exact year to the day from its original release. They’re here now, as is an impressive assortment of new films. There are genre fans’ long lost superhero spectacles, with Black Widow and The Suicide Squad leading the pack (and Shang-Chi closing out the season unusually late in time for Labor Day weekend), and there are also horror movies like The Conjuring 3 and M. Night Shyamalan’s Old, aforementioned musicals, family adventures in Jungle Cruise, psychedelic Arthurian legends via The Green Knight, and a few legitimately original projects like Stillwater and Reminiscence. Imagine that!

So sit back, put your feet in the pool, or up by the grill pit, and toast with us the summer movie’s resurrection.

A Quiet Place Part II

May 28 (June 3 in the UK)

Fourteen months after its original release date, the first movie delayed by the pandemic is finally coming to theaters for Memorial Day weekend. And despite what some critics say (even our own), most of us would argue it’s worth the wait. As a movie about a family enduring after a global crisis that has left their lives in tatters, and marred by personal tragedy, A Quiet Place Part II hits differently in 2021 than it would have a year ago. And it’s undeniably optimistic view of humanity feels like a warm balm now.

But beyond the meta context, writer-director John Krasinski (flying solo as screenwriter this time) has engineered a series of intelligent and highly suspenseful set pieces which puts Millicent Simmonds’ Regan front and center. Also buoyed by subtle and affecting work by Emily Blunt and Cillian Murphy, here as a neighbor they knew a few years and a lifetime ago, this is one worth dipping your toe back into cinema for, especially if you liked the first movie.

Cruella

May 28

We’ll admit it, we had the same initial skepticism you’re probably feeling about a Cruella de Vil origin story set in punk rock’s 1970s London. But put your cynicism aside, Disney’s Cruella is a decadent blast and the rarest of things: a live-action Disney remake that both honors its source material and does something creative with it. Neither a soulless scene-by-scene remake of a better animated film, or a lazy Maleficent like re-imagining, Cruella more often than not rocks, thanks in large part to its lead performance by Emma Stone.

Also a producer on the picture, Stone takes on the role of Cruella de Vil like it’ll be on an awards reel and absolutely flaunts the character’s madness and devilish charm. She also finds an excellent sparring partner via Emma Thompson, young Cruella’s very own Miranda Priestly. Once these two start their verbal battle at the end of the first act, the movie is elevated into an electric period comedy (with plenty of heavy handed period music). It’s a pseudo-thriller for all ages, enjoying some very sharp elbows for a kids movie.

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It

June 4 (May 26 in the UK)

The latest big-screen adventure for real-life ghostbusters Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) sees the two drawn into the unusual case of the first ever U.S. murder trial where the defendant claimed he was innocent because he was possessed by a demon. This is the eighth movie in The Conjuring expanded universe—director Michael Chaves has already made a foray into this supernatural world with The Curse of La Llorona—and as with all the main Conjuring films, the hook is that it’s (very loosely) based on a true case that the Warrens were involved with.

Peter Safran and James Wan are back on board as producers, although with this being the first time Wan isn’t directing one of the main Ed and Lorraine investigations, we’re a little cautious about this return to the haunted museum.

In the Heights

June 11 (June 18 in the UK)

Lin-Manuel Miranda’s first Tony award winning musical is getting the proper big screen treatment in In the Heights. A full-fledged movie musical—as opposed to a taped series of performances, a la Disney+’s Hamilton—In the Heights is like a sweet summer drink (or Piragua) and love letter to the Latino community of New York City’s Washington Heights neighborhood.

Read more

Movies

Best Movie Musicals of the 21st Century

By David Crow

Movies

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It and the Perils of Taking on a Real Life Murder

By Rosie Fletcher

Closer in spirit to the feel-good summertime joy of Grease than the narratively complex Hamilton, this is perfect multiplex escapism (which will also be on HBO Max if you’re so inclined). Directed by Crazy Rich Asians’ Jon M. Chu, In the Heights has a euphoric sense of movement and dance as it transfers Miranda’s hybrid blend of freestyle rap, salsa rhythm, and Caribbean musical cues to the actual city blocks the show was written about. On one of those corners lives Usnavi (Anthony Ramos), a bodega owner with big dreams. He’s about to have the summer of his life. You might too.

Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard

June 16 (June 21 in the UK)

You know Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard is a throwback when even its trailer brings back the “trailer voice.” But then the appeal of the 2017 B-action comedy, The Hitman’s Bodyguard, was its very throwback nature: a violent, raunchy R-rated buddy comedy that starred Samuel L. Jackson and Ryan Reynolds, who exchanged quips as much as bullets between some genuinely entertaining stunts.

Hopefully the sequel can also be as much lowbrow fun as it doubles down on the premise, with Reynolds’ Michael Bryce now guarding Samla Hayek’s Sonia, the wife of Jackson’s Darius. All three are on a road trip through Italy as they’re chased by Antonio Banderas in what is sure to be a series of bloody, explosive set pieces. Probably a few “motherf***ers” will be dropped too.

Luca

June 18

Pixar Studios’ hit rate is frankly incredible. With each new film seemingly comes a catchy song, an Oscar nomination, and a flood of tears from anyone with a heart—and there’s no reason to believe that its next offering will be any different. Luca is a coming-of-age tale set on the Italian Riviera about a pair of young lads who become best friends and have a terrific summer getting into adventures in the sun. The slight catch is that they’re both sea monsters.

Read more

Movies

How Luca Became the First Pixar Movie Made at Home

By Don Kaye

Movies

Pixar, Italian Style: Why Luca is Set in 1950s Italy

By Don Kaye

This is the feature directorial debut of Enrico Casarosa, who says the movie is a celebration of friendship with nods to the work of Federico Fellini and Hayao Miyazaki. The writers are Jesse Andrews and Mike Jones—Andrews is new to Pixar but has experience with coming-of-agers, having penned Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, while Jones co-wrote Soul. Jacob Tremblay and Jack Dylan Grazer voice the young boys (sea monsters)—13-year-old Luca and his older teenager friend Alberto—with Maya Rudolph as Luca’s sea monster mom. After a year of lockdown, this could be the summer movie we all need.

F9

June 25

You better start firing up the grill, because the Fast and Furious crew is finally ready to have another summer barbecue. And this time, it’s not only the folks whom Dom Toretto calls “mi familia” in attendance. The big new addition to F9 is 

John Cena as Jakob Toretto. As the long-lost little brother we didn’t know Vin Diesel’s Dom had, Jakob is revealed to be a superspy, assassin, and performance driver working for Dom’s arch-nemesis, Cypher (Charlize Theron). Everything the Family does together, Jakob does alone, as a one-man wrecking crew, and he’s coming in hot.

Fans will probably be happier, though, to see Sung Kang back as Han Seoul-Oh, the wheelman who was murdered in Fast & Furious 6, and then pretty much forgotten in The Fate of the Furious when his killer got invited to the cookout. It’s an injustice that brought veteran series director Justin Lin back to  the franchise to resurrect the dead. So it’s safe to assume he won’t be asking Cypher to bring the potato salad.

The Forever Purge

July 2 (July 16 in the UK)

We know what you’re thinking: Didn’t The Purge: Election Year end the Purge forever? That or “are they really still making these?” The answer to both questions is yes. Nevertheless, here we are with The Forever Purge, a movie which asks what happens if Purgers just, you know, committed extravagant holiday crime on the other 364 days of the year? You get what is hopefully the grand finale of this increasingly tired concept.

The Tomorrow War

July 2

Hear me out: What if it’s like The Terminator but in reverse? That had to be the pitch for this one, right? In The Tomorrow War, instead of evil cyborgs time traveling to the past to kill our future savior, soldiers from the future time travel to the past to enlist our current best warrior and take him to a world on the brink 30 years from now.

It’s a crazy premise, and the kind of high-concept popcorn that one imagines Chris Pratt excels at. Hence Pratt’s casting as Dan, one of the best soldiers of the early 21st century who’ll go into the future to stop an alien invasion. The supporting cast, which includes Oscar winner J.K. Simmons and Yvonne Strahovski, Betty Gilpin, and Sam Richardson, is also nothing to sneeze at.

Black Widow

July 9

The idea of making a Black Widow movie has been around since long before the Marvel Cinematic Universe first lifted into the sky on Tony Stark’s repulsors. The character has been onscreen for more than a decade now, and Marvel Studios has for too long danced around making a solo Widow, at least in part due to the machinations of Marvel Entertainment chairman Ike Perlmutter.

Read more

Movies

How Black Widow Could Build The MCU’s Future

By Kayti Burt

Movies

Upcoming Marvel Movies Release Dates: MCU Phase 4 Schedule, Cast, and Story Details

By Mike Cecchini and 1 other

But the standalone Black Widow adventure is here at last, and it now serves as a sort-of coda to the story of Natasha Romanoff, since we already know her tragic fate in Avengers: Endgame. Directed by Cate Shortland (Berlin Syndrome, Lore), the movie will spell out how Natasha (Scarlett Johansson) kept herself busy between the events of Captain America: Civil War and Avengers: Infinity War, primarily with a trip home to Russia to clear some of that red from her ledger.

There, she will reunite with figures from her dark past, including fellow Red Room alumnus Yelena Belova (Florence Pugh), Russian would-be superhero Alexei Shostakov, aka the Red Guardian (David Harbour), and Melina Vostokoff (Rachel Weisz), another survivor of the Black Widow program and a maternal figure to Natasha and Yelena.

It’s a chance to say goodbye to Nat and see Johansson as the beloved Avengers one more time. But this being Marvel, we suspect that the studio has a few tricks up its sleeve and in this movie about the future of Phase 4.

Space Jam: A New Legacy

July 16

In the annals of synergistic branding, Space Jam: A New Legacy might be one for the record books. A sequel to an older millennials’ 1990s touchstones—the thoroughly mediocre Michael Jordan meets Bugs Bunny movie, Space Jam—this sequel sees LeBron James now trapped in Looney Tunes world… but wait, there’s more! Instead of only charmingly interacting with WB’s classic stable of cartoon characters, King James will also be in the larger “WB universe” where the studio will resurrect from the dead every property they own the copyright to, from MGM’s classic 1939 The Wizard of Oz to, uh, the murderous rapists in A Clockwork Orange.

… yay for easter eggs?

Old

July 23

Though he might be accused of being a little bit hit-and-miss in the past, the release of a new M. Night Shyamalan movie should always be cause for celebration. Especially one with such a deeply creepy premise. Based on the graphic novel Sandcastle by Pierre Oscar Levy and Frederik Peeters, Old sees a family on vacation discover that the beach they are on causes them to age extremely rapidly and live out their entire lives in a day.

This is surely perfect fodder for Shyamalan, who does high-concept horror like no one else. The cast is absolute quality, featuring Gael García Bernal, Hereditary’s Alex Wolff, Jo Jo Rabbit’s Thomasin McKenzie, Phantom Thread’s Vicky Krieps, Little Women’s Eliza Scanlen, and many more. The trailer is pleasingly disturbing too as children become teenagers, a young woman is suddenly full-term pregnant, and adults seem to be decaying in front of their own eyes. Harrowing in the best possible way.

Snake Eyes

July 23 (August 20 in the UK)

Snake Eyes will finally bring us the origin story of the G.I. Joe franchise’s most iconic and beloved member. Henry Golding (Crazy Rich Asians) stars in the title role, with Warrior’s Andrew Koji as his nemesis—conflicted baddie (and similar fan fave) Storm Shadow. Expect a tale heavy on martial arts badassery, especially with The Raid’s Iko Uwais on board as the pair’s ninja master. Samara Weaving will play G.I. Joe staple Scarlett after her breakout a few years ago in Ready or Not, while Úrsula Corberó has been cast as Cobra’s Baroness. Robert Schwentke (The Time Traveler’s Wife, Red) directs.

Jungle Cruise

July 30

Jungle Cruise director Jaume Collet-Serra is best known for making slightly dodgy actioners starring Liam Neeson (Unknown, Non-Stop, Run All Night) and half-decent horror movies (Orphan, The Shallows), so exactly which direction this family adventure based on a theme park ride will take remains to be seen.

Borrowing a page and premise from Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn in The African Queen (1951), Jungle Cruise stars the ever-charismatic Dwayne Johnson as a riverboat captain taking Emily Blunt’s scientist and her brother (Jack Whitehall) to visit the fabled Tree of Life in the early 20th century. Like the ride, the gang will have to watch out for wild animals along the way.

Unlike the ride, they’re competing with a German expedition team who are heading for the same goal. A solid supporting cast (Jesse Plemons, Édgar Ramírez, Paul Giamatti, Andy Nyman) and a script with rewrites by Michael Green (Logan, Blade Runner 2049) might mean Disney has another hit on its hands. Either way, a lovely boat trip with The Rock should be diverting at worst.

The Green Knight

July 30 (August 6 in the UK)

There have been several major Hollywood reimaginings of Arthurian legends in the 21st century. And every one of them has been thoroughly rotten for one reason or another. Luckily, David Lowery’s The Green Knight looks poised to break the trend with a trippy, but twistedly faithful, interpretation of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.

Dev Patel stars as Sir Gawain, a chivalrous knight in King Arthur’s court who takes up the challenge of the mysterious Green Knight (The Witch’s Ralph Ineson under mountains of makeup): He’ll swing a blow and risk receiving a returning strike in a year’s time. Gawain attempts to cheat the devil by cutting his head clean off, yet when the Green Knight lifts his severed head from Camelot’s floors, things start to get weird. As clearly one of A24’s biggest visual fever dreams to date, this is one we’re highly anticipating.

Stillwater

July 30 (August 6 in the UK)

The Oscar winning-writer director behind Spotlight, Tom McCarthy, returns to the big screen with a fictional story that feels awfully similar to real world events. In this film, Matt Damon plays Bill, a proud father who saw his daughter Allison (Abigail Breslin) go abroad to study in France. After she’s accused of murdering her roommate by local authorities, the deeply Southern and deeply Oklahoman father must travel to a foreign land to try and prove his daughter’s innocence.

It obviously has some parallels with the Amanda Knox story but it also looks like a potentially hard hitting original drama with a talented cast. Fingers crossed.

The Suicide Squad

August 6 (July 30 in the UK)

You might have seen a Suicide Squad movie in the past, but you’ve never seen James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad. With a liberating R-rating and an old school vision from the Guardians of the Galaxy director—who likens this to 1960s war capers, such as The Dirty Dozen or Where Eagles Dare—this Suicide Squad is absolutely stacked with talented actors wallowing in DC weirdness. One of the key players in this is Polka-Dot Man, another is a walking, talking Great White Shark, voiced by Sylvester Stallone. The villain is a Godzilla-sized starfish from space!

Read more

Movies

Margot Robbie Wants Poison Ivy to Join Harley Quinn in the DCEU

By Kayti Burt

Movies

What to Expect from the Candyman Reimagining

By David Crow

So like it’s namesake, there’s probably a lot of characters who aren’t going to pull through this one. Even so, we can rest easy knowing that Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn will be as winsome than ever, and the likes of Idris Elba and John Cena will add some dynamic gravitas to the eccentric DC Extended Universe.

Free Guy

August 13

Perhaps pitched as The Truman Show for the video game age, Free Guy stars Ryan Reynolds as an easygoing, happy-go-lucky “Guy” who discovers… he’s a video game NPC living inside the equivalent of a Grand Theft Auto video game. This might explain why the bank he works at keeps getting robbed all the time. But as a virtual sprite who’s developed sentiency, he just might be able to win over enough gamers to not shoot him, and make love not war.

It’s an amusing premise, and hopefully director Shawn Levy can bring to it the same level of charm he achieved with the very first Night at the Museum movie.

Respect

August 13 (September 10 in the UK)

Before her passing in 2018, Aretha Franklin gave her blessing to Jennifer Hudson to play the Queen of Soul. Now that musical biopic is here with Hudson hitting the same high notes of the legend who sang such standards as “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman,” “Think,” “I Say a Little Prayer,” and of course “Respect.”

The film comes with a lot of expectation and a lot of pedigree, with Forest Whitaker and Audra McDonald in the cast. Most of all though, it comes with that rich musical library, which will surely take center stage. And if movies like Bohemian Rhapsody and Rocketman have taught us anything, it’s that moviegoers love when you play the hits.

Reminiscence

August 20 (August 18 in the UK)

Lisa Joy is one of the most exciting voices on television today. One-half of the creative team behind Westworld, Joy steps into her own with her directorial debut (and as the solo writer) in Reminiscence, a science fiction film with a reliably knotty premise.

Hugh Jackman plays Nick Bannister, a man who lives in a dystopian future where the oceans have risen and the cities are crumbling. In a declining Miami, he sells a risky new technology that allows you to relive your past (and possibly change it, at least fancifully?). But when he discovers the lost love of his life (Rebecca Ferguson) is cropping up in other peoples’ memories, which seem to implicate her in a murder, well… things are bound to start getting weird. We don’t know a whole lot more, but we cannot wait to find out more.

Candyman

August 27

Announced back in 2018, this spiritual sequel to Bernard Rose’s 1992 original is one of the most exciting and anticipated movies on the calendar. Produced by Jordan Peele and directed by Nia DaCosta, the film takes place in the present day and about a decade after Chicago’s Cabrini-Green housing projects have been torn down. Watchmen’s Yahya Abdul-Mateen II plays an up-and-coming visual artist who moves to the now-gentrified area with his partner and is inspired by the legend of Candyman, an apparition with a hook for a hand, to create new work about the subject. But in doing so, he risks unleashing a dark history and a new wave of violence.

Tony Todd, the star of the original movie, will also reprise his role in a reboot that aims to inspire fear for only the right reasons.

The Beatles: Get Back

August 27

Director Peter Jackson thinks folks have a poisoned idea about the Beatles in their final days. Often portrayed as divided and antagonistic toward one another during the recordings of their last albums, particularly Let It Be (which was their penultimate studio recording and final release), Jackson insists this misconception is influenced by Michael Lindsay-Hogg’s 1970 documentary named after the album.

So, after going through the reams of footage Lindsay-Hogg shot but didn’t use, Jackson has crafted this new documentary about the album’s recording which is intended to paint a fuller (and more feel-good) portrait of the band which changed the world. Plus, the music’s going to be great… 

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

September 3

The greatest fighter in Marvel history finally hits the big screen with Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. Simu Liu (Kim’s Convenience) takes on the title role of a character destined for a bright future in the MCU. Marvel fans might note that the “Ten Rings” of the title is the same organization that first appeared all the way back in Iron Man, and Tony Leung will finally bring their villainous leader, The Mandarin, to life. Awkwafina of The Farewell and Crazy Rich Asians fame also stars. Directed by Destin Daniel Cretton (Short Term 12), this should deliver martial arts action unlike anything we’ve seen so far in the MCU.

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[chuckbass-love]

Why Him? | Ransom Drysdale | Part 19

A/N: 3 PARTS LEFT!!!  Last minute i changed up this chapter and completely deleted chapter 20 and re wrote it. It was just to improve the chapters and make them better. So i hope you enjoy

Disclaimer: My work is not to be reposted anywhere else other than my Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3. However, reblogs are welcome.

Why Him? MASTERLIST

Warning: i guess some angst

Claudia’s POV

I sit up in bed, immediately noticing that Ransom isn’t in sight. I decide to head downstairs to see where he is and as i reach the bottom of the stairs, i turn around to see him on the couch, watching TV. 

“Good morning” i chirp as i strut over “Oh...morning” he mumbles. 

Is he still upset with me? I sit down next to him.

“Is everything okay?” he shrugs. “Yeah i’m fine” something is clearly up but i decide to wave it off for now.

“So how about this, i cook for us later, nice romantic dinner for two” i turn his head to face me and he flashes me a smile, not a very convincing one though. 

“Babe” why isn’t he responding? 

“Sounds great but i got a text from the guys, i forgot that i made plans to have a couple of beers with them tonight. Mind if i head out later? I won’t be long i promise. An hour tops” i look down at my hands, 

“Sure, just don’t be late. 7:30pm on the dot. Not a minute later Drysdale” he chuckles, pecking my lips quickly. 

“Jack is making breakfast, you hungry?” i nod and he holds his hands out to help me off the couch. 

I follow him into the kitchen. “Morning Jack” i greet and he replies with the same amount of enthusiasm. We eat breakfast and i let Jack know that he can go home early as i’ll be taking care of dinner, he nods before exiting to let us eat. He takes his food to the other room. 

“So, are you on the menu tonight?” Ransom rests his hand on my thigh. “Babe” i roll my eyes. “Maybe” he winks at me as he places our dishes into the sink. 

“Good, because i’ve had a real hankering for you lately” is he trying to turn me on? We flirt a little and then head upstairs to shower and get ready for the day.

------------

The day is spent watching movies, distracting Ransom whilst he’s in his office and eating. Like, constantly. 

“We really should take more pictures together?” i pick up the framed picture of us from our second date in New York.

“We should but for now i can just stare at you to remind myself of how sexy my girlfriend is” i sit down on his lap, my legs over his and the side of the chair, my arms wrapped around him.

“I meant more for memories. We’ve only got a couple of pictures. When i’m old and grey i want our grandkids to see all these pictures of us looking young and cool” he chuckles “grandkids huh?” i grin and rest my head in the crook of his neck. 

“Shit, it’s 5:00pm” he checks his phone, i get off his lap and he rushes to his feet. “I best get going now to meet the guys. Can you call me a cab babe?” he asks and i nod. Lifting my phone up to dial the number.

“Right, you get cooking, i’ll be home at exactly 7:30pm doll. I love you” he kisses me and i wave him off.

----------

Right, time to cook. I grab an apron and look around the kitchen to see what food is available to me. There’s pasta, steak, potatoes and salad. I’ll do steak with salad and potatoes then. Not that i have much choice but luckily i love steak.

I place both steaks in the pan, on a medium heat as i start to boil the potatoes and prepare the salad. With the salad done almost instantly, i focus on the potatoes and steak. Medium-rare i have it so i do the same for him. I check the time as i start to prepare the food onto two dishes. It’s 7:30, he’ll be here, i know he will.

10 minutes later, still no sign.

40 minutes later, nothing.

----------

2 and a half hours later, no texts, no calls. I heat my food up and add some salad to the dish and i dig in. He’s clearly not going to show, might as well eat this food. 

Once i finish up i click on his contact in my phone, pressing the call icon. Straight to voicemail. Where the hell is he?

I stand up and get a container to place his food into. I store it in the refrigerator. He can just have it when he decides to come home. Whenever that will be. I take my wine glass and phone and head into his office, sitting at his desk. 

I start to call him again, voicemail. I look up and see the framed picture of the two of us, instantly smiling as i remember the date we were on but a frown soon replaces it. I can’t believe he stood me up. He promised he wouldn’t be late.

I rest my head on my arms on the desk and i drift off into a short slumber. 

--------------

*ONE HOUR LATER*

I wake up, instantly checking my phone to see the time. It’s now 11:20pm. 

There’s a text from Ransom. Sent 1 minute ago. 

‘I’m waiting for you upstairs baby’ of course, he stands me up and instead of coming to find me to apologise, he thinks with his dick. 

I stand up and head out, leaving my wine on the kitchen counter as i walk past to get to the stairs, ready to grill him. I rush up them and start my rant.

“I said 7:30, you didn’t even bother to call or text and now you want to have sex. I don’t get you Ran-” my jaw drops and my heart sinks. 

There he is, on our bed. His ex-girlfriend straddling him. She’s kissing him. What the hell is this? they both turn to see me in the doorway. I can tell he’s off his face drunk. I turn around, running down the stairs and he follows. 

“Claudia wait”

I storm into the kitchen to get my phone, shoving it into my bag. I find my coat draped over the couch, i pick it up and start putting it on as i make my way back over to where he’s stood.

“Doll, i’m sorry. Let me explain-” tears brim in my eyes and i can’t stop them from falling. 

“I don’t want to hear it. Do NOT call me that. I’m not your doll. This must be why you were off with me this morning”

“What are you talking about, let me explain”

“God i’m so dumb” i laugh to myself 

“I should’ve known you would mess up. You’re just a typical playboy, messing girls around for your own satisfaction. Just how i thought you would when i first met you. Do you get off on this huh? Hurting people. I don’t know what got into me, to believe i could trust you to change”

I shove past him, moving towards the front door. He grabs a hold of my wrist but i shake him off. I raise my hand and swipe it across his cheek, leaving a handprint, his face instantly turns red.

“Get the fuck off of me” i look him up and down 

“I guess this is what happens when you finally let your guard down. Whatever this was, it’s over”

--------------

Ransom’s POV

I sip my fourth beer of the night and check the time 6:30pm, plenty of time. 

“SHOTS” Eddie shouts and we all cheer, taking one in our hands and knocking them back on the count of 3. We do this a couple of times, causing my already tipsy state to turn fully drunk. 

-----------------

I check the time again to see it’s 9:30pm, shit. i’m late.

“I need to get home” i lean into Jason, speaking into his ear so he can hear me.

“Nah you’re not going anywhere, it’s time for more drinks man” he hands me a vodka and coke and i down it like it’s nothing. I really need to go home but i can barely walk straight. Claudia isn’t gonna be impressed.

It’s 11:00pm, i finish my drink and take one last shot before i spot her, my ex. Natalie. 

“Hey stranger” she wraps her arms around my neck as she hugs me, i push her off. 

“What do you want?” i scoff and she frowns. “Excuse me, you could be a little nicer” i roll my eyes. “I’ll never be nice to you. You’re toxic as fuck” i shove past her, saying goodbye to the guys since i’m gonna head home. She follows me out of the club.

“Wait, let’s share a cab” she calls out and i sigh “fine but you can pay for yourself” she gets in next to me and starts yapping away.

“So, i noticed you have a new girlfriend” i nod my head “I gotta give it to you, you did well. She’s gorgeous. But she’ll never be me Ransom and you can kid yourself all you like” i face away from her.

“That’s kinda the whole point Nat. I don’t want another girl like you. She’s everything you could never be” i slur as i rock in my seat. I’m so drunk and i feel so sick.

The driver pulls up outside my place and i pay him as i get out. 

“You don’t miss me at all then? Not even a little” she leans her head out the window. 

“Not at all. Go home Natalie” i take my time, walking to the front door. I don’t want to fall over. I let myself in and head upstairs. 

“Claudia” i call out, no answer. “Baby” still no answer. I take my coat off and throw it onto the bed and when i turn around Natalie is stood in front of me. I must not have shut the front door properly. 

“Get the fuck off Nat” i spit, making my way to the bathroom. When i get out, she’s still here.

She pulls me onto the bed and she straddles me, i try to push her off but my drunk state doesn’t allow it.

“I said 7:30pm, you didn’t even bother to call or text and now you want to have sex? I don’t get you Ran-” I turn my head to see Claudia in the doorway. FUCK. 

“Claudia wait” i push Natalie off me and run after Claudia instantly.

She storms into the kitchen to get her phone, shoving it into her bag. She finds her coat draped over the couch and she picks it up, putting it on as she makes her way back over to me. 

“Doll, i’m sorry. Let me explain-” i see the tears brimming in her eyes and she lets them fall. 

“I don’t want to hear it. Do NOT call me that. I’m not your doll. This is why you were off with me earlier”

“What are you talking about let me explain”

“God i’m so dumb” she laughs to herself “I should’ve known you would mess up. You’re just a typical playboy, messing girls around for your own satisfaction. Just how i thought you would when i first met you. Do you get off on this huh? Hurting people. I don’t know what got into me, to believe i could trust you to change”

She shoves past me, moving towards the front door. I grab a hold of her but she shakes me off. 

She raises her hand, slapping me across the face. Leaving a mark. God that hurt. Everything i feared happening that would destroy our relationship, is happening. I knew i’d mess this up eventually.

“Get the fuck off of me” she looks me up and down, a look of pure disgust across her face. “I guess this is what happens when you finally let your guard down. Whatever this was, it’s over”

Shit. I may not be able to think straight but i for sure think this is what heartbreak feels like. My heart sinks as she walks out the door. My mind is telling me to go after her but my heart is telling me to let her go because in the end, she’s right, i hurt people and tonight i’ve hurt the most important person in my life.

[sortasirius]

5 or 19 for Destiel. :)

Hello my friend because I have been so bad at writing prompts or one shots you get BOTH

Link to post

Prompt me up!

5. “WHO LEFT THE TURKEY IN THE OVEN?!”

Words: 1053

A Christmas fic???  I guess my brain just wants the year to be over lmao

Three hours, thirty two minutes, and twenty seven seconds. Sixteen minutes and twenty five seconds until his next check.  Dean is not anal-retentive, thank you very much for asking, he just knows that turkeys have about a five minute window from being raw to being like eating sand. It is an exact science that he has perfected over the years.  And that is not going to be messed up tonight.

The bunker’s halls are filled with cheesy Christmas music, the smell of the meal that Dean has literally been working on since dawn wafting into every room.  It’s their first Christmas as a real family, with Jack back and, well, whole.  With Eileen, with Cas.  Dean hasn’t had a Christmas since before he went to hell, and even though he clutched that night to his heart like a precious scrap of paper, he’s excited to have a holiday where they don’t have to worry about the next big bad thing coming to get them, or to have tragedy hanging over their heads. To, you know, be normal.  Well, as normal as you can get when they had all died multiple times and two of their guests were angelic in nature, the other one recently resurrected from the great beyond.

“You need to talk to Cas,” Sam’s voice comes from the doorway, and Dean barely spares a glance in his direction, too focused on his goal to think about much else.  Eileen is with Sam, looking concerned.  Concerned enough that Dean stops chopping onions and wipes his hands on his apron (aprons fucking rock).

“What d’you mean?  What’s wrong?”

“He says he caught wind of a case,” Sam’s eyebrows are knitted in concern, “He wants to leave.”

Dean feels the color drain out of his face, which is a little embarrassing.

“He wants to leave?  Like now?”

“Yeah, he’s grabbing some stuff and getting ready to go.”

Dean stares at them, and then at the oven, where his masterpiece is roasting.  He checks his watch.  Okay. He has about twenty minutes until he needs to take it out.  Well, seventeen minutes and forty-three seconds to be exact.  Dean sways on the spot, torn between his carefully prepared and polished bird and having an empty place at the table he had carefully laid out the day before, with the place next to him being empty.

Neither sound appealing, but one makes his gut twist. He decides to handle that one.

He washes his hands methodically, trying to get them as clean and onion-free as he possibly can.  Approaching Sam and Eileen, he pokes Sam in the chest.

“Watch that turkey.  It’s gotta come out in,” he checks his watch again, “Fifteen minutes and fifty-seven seconds.”

“Okay Dean.”

Dean narrows his eyes and stands his ground, looking between both of their amused faces.

“I’m serious.”

“I can tell you are,” Eileen grins at him, “Please just go get Cas.”

Dean sways again, taking one last sweeping look at the kitchen before stomping towards Cas’ room.  Empty.  Fuck.

He checks the garage, the basement, checks in with Jack in his room, before finally hearing clanking in the armory.  Fucker, gonna take his guns on Christmas Day before he can have his turkey?  Dean doesn’t think so.

Cas is methodical in his movements, checking which weapons he was taking and diligently marking them on a list.

“You headed somewhere?”

Cas’ eyes meet his, and Dean’s hostility immediately melts.

“I caught wind of something, but don’t let me put a damper on the festivities, I’ll be back shortly.”

“And this can’t wait?  You know, until I could go with you?”

Cas’ shoulders sink a fraction of an inch.

“What’s going on, Cas?”

“I’m just not feeling very festive, human holidays always feel strange to me.  So I don’t want to put a damper on anything.”

“So you’re just gonna go?  What about-” he cuts himself off, not wanting to sound like he was begging him to stay or anything.

“Dean-”

“Come on Cas, I,” he takes a deep breath, steeling himself to say the next words, “I didn’t get a lot of, uh, happy holidays growing up. It was just me and Sam and I, I was just excited to have a Christmas with everyone, with a real kitchen and have everyone, I don’t know, have someone.  Sam has Eileen, Jack has all of us, he’s the kid, and then…you and me…”

The words sound closer to the truth than he meant them to.  But Cas’ eyes soften by degrees, Dean could always tell that because they seemed to turn a lighter shade of blue.

“You and me.”

Dean opens his mouth, trying to make his thoughts into words, thoughts that had been buried in the back of his mind for years, literal years.

“You know, we could, be something.”

Cas smiles this bright and blinding smile, something so brilliant that it takes Dean’s breath away, but he doesn’t have time to get it back before Cas closes the space between them and pulls Dean forward by his flannel until they crash together, and Dean searches for Cas lips so quickly it’s a little embarrassing, but he doesn’t really care.  Cas’ lips are soft and chapped and warm and Dean sighs into his mouth, relaxing as the tension between them, pulled taught like a string, finally eased.

Cas is the one to break the kiss, but it’s so gentle that Dean knows it isn’t a rebuke, just a wait til later.  Dean could live with that.

“So no hunt?”

Cas smiles at him.

“I suppose it can wait.  After all, it’s only a spontaneous combustion or two, nothing we can’t handle.”

Dean reaches for his hand instinctively, and it isn’t until he smells a too done smell coming from the kitchen that he starts running, dragging Cas with him.

“WHO LEFT THE TURKEY IN THE OVEN?!”

Sam comes skidding into the room, only barely registering that Cas and Dean are, in fact, holding hands, but grins as he nearly drops Dean’s overdone turkey on the floor in his haste to stop it from burning.

Sam is sufficiently guilty for his transgression, but despite the dryness of Dean’s masterpiece, when he’s holding hands with Cas under the table, he doesn’t really care.  People always come for the potato casserole anyway.

19. I love you more than I love food.

Words: 722

Dean’s never been sure where his love of cooking comes from. Hell, it’s not like he ever had a real kitchen growing up, and he sure wasn’t slinging meals when he was five years old and hunting was just a thing he did for bugs in the backyard.  He had to work with what they had when they were growing up, even when they stayed with Pastor Jim and Bobby, it wasn’t exactly five star dining.  He had come up with foods to keep Sam entertained though, maybe that was where he got it from.  The best thing they had were Funyuns crunched up with hot dogs and ketchup.  Sounds gross, but when the gas mart down the block is the only place you can walk to to get food and you only have ten dollars to get through the week, that kinda shit rocked hard.

Now that he has a real kitchen, and access to a real grocery store or, even though he hates to admit he goes there, a farmer’s market, Dean cooks all the time.  He falls asleep watching food network or The Great British Baking Show, he writes down ideas for recipes on the notes in his phone, sometimes even when he’s half asleep, and then he has to try and remember why he thought garlic and strawberries would ever be good together.

The only thing Dean loves more than cooking?  Eating.  It’s always gratifying to have Sam or Jack or Cas compliment him on his meals, but if he loved his food it was just an extra bonus for his ego.  

Sam starts to notice something though, he notices before Dean does which, retrospectively, pisses Dean off.  Dean doesn’t eat when Cas does.  He always takes a bite in between Cas’ bites, and watches Cas closely for a reaction, good or bad, to whatever is on his plate.

Dean laughs at Sam the first time he tells him this.

“No I don’t,” he rolls his eyes, going back to prepping his bell peppers for the oven.

“Oh yeah you do,” Sam grins at him, “Pay attention when we eat tonight.  You like refuse to eat when Cas is there.  It’s funny.”

Dean tries really hard that night not to not eat when Cas does but…come on, he’s gotta see if he likes the peppers with goat cheese right?

Unfortunately, his inability to eat when Cas does becomes a running gag with Sam.  He mentions it constantly, even getting Jack in on it, but whenever he mentions it to Cas, Cas just cocks his head to the side and narrows his eyes.  Him not saying anything makes Dean that much more self conscious, but he tries not to dwell on it.  It doesn’t work.

Dean tries to pretend he has everything under control, until he makes himself and Cas some pretty epic turkey and swiss sandwiches for lunch one day, and he realizes he’s doing it again.

“Sam is right,” Cas points out, looking up from his sandwich.

“He tends to be, more than I’d like to admit,” Dean grins, his eyes scanning the room, landing anywhere but on Cas.

“You won’t eat when I do.  Why?”

Dean is afraid to see accusations in Cas’ eyes, or worse, understanding.  Understanding of something that not even Dean really understands.  Well, he does if he really thinks about it, but he doesn’t want to think about it, sue him.

“I don’t know.”

“Dean.  Look at me.”

Dean does, and then he’s under the force of Cas’ eyes, and he has a really hard time lying when he’s looking at Cas.

“Why?”

“I guess…I don’t know.  I love you more than I love food.”

Cas seems momentarily stunned by his words, but Dean thinks it’s a pretty good comparison, even though he, you know, said the “l” word. That’s fine, he won’t think about that until he has a spiraling panic attack late at night tonight.  That’s a future Dean problem.

“Well I also love you more than I love food,” Cas side-eyes Dean with a playful smile on his face.  He thinks he might be being teased.  And he’s not mad about it.

“That’s not fair, you’ve never cared about food.”

“I care about yours.”

Dean grins, still staring at the table.

See this, this is why he loves cooking.

[ghostsofmemories]

Insect Poison Update #1

Before you check out this post, please remember that the fight against police brutality is still happening, and education is critical. All proceeds from this shop are still being donated to the BLM organization and will continue to be. More designs have been added since the original post was made, so be sure to click the link to find something you like.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, feel free to jump over to my WIP introduction! I should mention that Aaron Bennett’s has been changed to Jack Bennett because I had a cool title idea for chapter 2 and needed to change his name for it to work.

So, I managed to spit out the first chapter in a couple days! It’s been difficult, but also way more fun than I was used to writing being (probably because I’m writing something I actually enjoy—who knew I was capable??). I wrote every day for five days in a row, counting today, which is wild and something I haven’t done since my NaNoWriMo days (AKA the first time I wrote this book).

Chapter 1 of the book is basically an intro to Robert and Ramona’s dynamics as (twin) siblings and a short look into how their mother interacts with them. I know the prose for this chapter could use some more work, but I think there’s a lot of character here that I liked exploring.

The chapter has three scenes: a scene where the twins are at the lake together, a scene where they’re eating dinner with their mom, Emily, and their older sister Lori, and one where they’ve stayed up late to eat cookies their mom baked for Church on Sunday.

(oop this update turned out a lot longer than I thought it would be) (CW for like, one teeny mention of drugs)

Scene 1: overhand throws are superior

In this scene, Robert and Ramona leave the house to go to the lake at the end of the street, which they’re not supposed to go to by themselves. They get into a bit of an argument that ends with a pair of shoes in the water.

The lake wasn’t big or clean or pretty, but they didn’t care much about those things. They didn’t mind the algae that tugged at their ankles or the rocks that are so sharp they gave off the impression of wanting to cut you open. It was all they’d ever known.

Since they weren’t supposed to be at the lake, they also weren’t wearing their swimsuits. They swam in their T-shirts and shorts, with Ramona’s sweater lying where the sand and the grass met. Their shoes were tucked underneath it, as if anyone would want to steal their too-small shoes with cracks in the rubber and holes in the fabric. As if their appearance wasn’t protection enough.

The water was cold enough to bite. It made their jean shorts cling to their legs, and they swam stiff and tight so they didn’t have to feel the friction. They did that for two hours; they were rebel children, breaking all the rules.

^ this part was overall just pretty fun to write, and the last sentence is definitely my favorite because of what happens next:

“Mom’s going to be so mad when we get home,” Robert said, treading water and staring his sister down. He didn’t see himself in her face the way everyone else did. Maybe it was because he spent more time with Ramona than he did with mirrors. Maybe it was because she wore her hair in two, rust colored braids and his was short and brown and untameable. Maybe it was because he almost never liked Ramona, but usually, he liked himself.

“Mom’s going to be mad,” he said again. She wasn’t going to be, but Ramona played along anyway. She kicked her legs a little faster, trying to keep her chin above the water like her brother could.

“Too bad,” she said, “we’re already in the water. She can’t do anything.”

The twins knew their mother wouldn’t be mad. She wouldn’t be mad if they were there for four hours. She wouldn’t be mad if they waltzed into the house dripping wet from their hair and clothes, right onto the freshly mopped kitchen floor. She’d mop it again without a second thought. She’d ask them how their afternoons went.

I love this part because I got to explore how Robert and Ramona almost want to get in trouble if it means someone will pay attention to them. They want to get caught and be told no about something, but their mom is so absent minded (and high) that they can get away with whatever they want. In this chapter and probably further ones, we get to see them test exactly how far they can go.

Here’s the part where the fight gets introduced: Ramona’s ready to leave and Robert isn’t, but he also doesn’t want to stay by himself (even though he’d never admit that). He tells Ramona to give her the sweater she’s holding, presumably to dry himself off a little. Instead, he tosses it into the lake.

Sweatshirts weren’t exactly known for being aerodynamic and eleven year old boys weren’t exactly known for their underhand throws, so it didn’t go far. It landed pathetically into the shallow part of the water where their older sister used to take them to catch tadpoles in the spring (they would bring them home in buckets and tupperware and try to have their very own front yard aquarium. Their mother always spotted them and made them march back to the lake and dump dozens of them back into the water).

“Robert!” Ramona yelled, stepping into his space. He put his hands behind his back and stepped even closer. “Go get it!”

“It’s your sweater,” he said. He smiled and bent down to pick up a rock, mostly because it looked like the sort Ramona would bring home and put in a box with three dozen others. He forced his hand into his wet pocket and let it sit there, wrist deep in clinging fabric with a rock clenched in his fist. Later, on the way home, he’d toss it into the grass and never think about it again.

We can see here that Robert is a little unhinged and manipulative, and really wants to get a rise out of his sister and see what she’ll do. Her response is to be even more unhinged and manipulative:

Robert watched as she sat down to put on her shoes. He saw her stand up and toss his sneakers right into the water, one after the other, socks still tucked inside.

Eleven year old girls weren’t known for their underhands, either, but their overhands could be surprising if they put some energy into it. The shoes sunk into the bottom of the lake, and the twins stared at one another as if to agree, just this once, to end the fight before things got worse.

Ramona didn’t smile. She took no pleasure in being wicked. Still, she’d be the first to admit that she took more than a little pleasure in her brother’s silence.

Scene 2: pork and potatoes and corn.

Time for dinner! This scene was fun and mildly uncomfortable to write.

Emily Bennett was nothing if not a creature of habit. She thought this was her greatest secret, something to hold close to her chest, but the things she tried to hide were always smeared down to her sleeves.

“Just in time!” She said, her smile wide enough to call a canyon. She still had silverware in her left hand and a stack of cups in her right, and stared at the next seat in line instead of looking at the twins. Her mind was only at rest when her body was in motion, and even then she struggled to drown out the noise. “We’re having pork and potatoes and corn. Go get your hands washed so you can eat, and let your sister know it’s dinner time.”

And a little later:

You kids are so quiet these days,” she said, setting her glass on the table. Condensation was already forming on the outside of the glass. The twins took turns shifting in their chairs, trying to escape from a heat that didn’t seem to bother their mother or Lori. “What have you been up to?”

The three of them looked at each other, trying to decide who would take one for the team. When eyes settled on Ramona, she spoke up. “I re-organized my rock collection this morning,” she said, and took a bite of mashed potatoes to avoid saying anything further.

“Oh, that’s nice honey. You’ll have to show me later.”

Ramona had no intention of showing her mother the newly cleaned and sorted rocks, and Emily had no intention of looking. They were simply humoring each other.

“Mhm. I think I might have found some amethyst.” Ramona was thought amethyst was her mother’s birthstone (it was, but after no comment from her mother about it, Ramona was sure she’d gotten it wrong).

“How’s the corn?” Emily asked, taking a bite of it and following it immediately with large gulps of water. The glass was half empty.

Lori spoke up. “Good. Same as always.” She wished, for a moment, that she could rewrite the sentence in her mother’s mind. It’s good, mom. Did we get it from the store or the farmer’s market? Could you show me how to cook it the way you do? She didn’t bother with these types of questions because Emily never taught her things when she asked. Lori couldn’t recall the last thing her mother had taught her.

I can’t really describe it, but the family dynamics are exactly how they need to be. I want there to be a certain feeling of tension and uneasiness when everyone is in the same place, but a tension they’ve all gotten used to. 

The last scene is when the twins are stealing cookies and getting ready for bed, which I’m not sure is totally necessary but I think it further shows their dynamics so it can stay for now.

“I’m tired,” Ramona said, trying to dip her cookie into a glass of milk she’d almost finished. “I think I’m going to go to bed.”

“I’m not tired,” Robert said, popping open a tupperware dish and reaching into it carefully, like the cookies might disappear if he moved too fast. “Want another one?”

“We have to leave some, otherwise mom’ll notice.”

“She won’t do anything about it,” he said, pushing the bowl across the table to her, “you can have some more.”

“I don’t want anymore. I want to go to bed.” Ramona stood to rinse out her cup at the kitchen sink, the tile cool and grounding under her feet. Robert left his glass on the table and the cookie bowl with the lid half on. 

“Fine, I’ll just go to bed, too.”

Not to continue telling every bit of psychology surrounding the characters’ actions, but this part is interesting because again, both of them are aiming to get caught and get into trouble, but they refuse to do it without the other. Robert starts everything and Ramona finishes it before it gets too far.

The chapter ends with them getting ready for bed and Ramona hearing her dad’s truck pull into the driveway, meaning he’s home for a weekend before his next set of deliveries and destinations and whatnot. I think I want this to be the inciting incident, but I have to work on it more and figure out what I actually want to happen here.

Overall, the chapter clocked in at 2802 words, and I think after I go back and add some more description and imagery (which is definitely where I’ve fallen short so far), it should end up around 3000-3200. I really enjoyed writing this chapter (I think this book is by far the most exciting project for me, and is going to help me figure out what I want to write from now on), and I want to talk more about how my process is going, but I think that’ll be a separate post where I talk more about process and music and all those little things that go into a writing session for me.

If you have any questions about the story or characters, want to get added to the taglist, or just have anything to say about it in general, make sure you do that in an ask so I can be sure to see it! My notifications are sketchy but I’ve never had an issue with ask notifications. 

Taglist: @coffeeandcalligraphy​ @alicewestwater​ @fliiik-art​

[hellhoundsprey]

No 27. OK, WHO HAD NATURAL DISASTERS ON THEIR 2020 BINGO CARD?

Earthquake | Extreme Weather | Power Outage | Alt 7. Found Family

domestic destiel, teacher!cas, teacher!dean, dad!cas, kid!jack, hurt/comfort

A timestamp for my winkline WIP fic Mild.

~

~

~

Dean is the first to say something in the suddenly-settled dark, and it’s around a mouthful of potatoes:

“Uh.”

It’s basically drowned out by the storm outside, so it’s not too meaningful anyway.

“I, uh. I’ll check the breaker box.”

Dean says, “Yeah,” and gets his phone out.

Cas calmly assures, “I will be right back,” and Dean thinks for a moment that duh, yeah, but then he remembers the kid to his right, and. Oh.

In the light of the upturned phone flash, Jack is awfully pale.

“You all right, buddy?”

Jack just looks at him.

“Hey.” Dean puts his fork down, gets a hand on Jack’s shoulder to nudge at him. “It’s just a thunderstorm. It’ll be over in—”

Heavy, close-by thunder.

Dean finishes, “—a hot second. Jesus.”

Jack keeps looking miserable.

When Cas returns to the living room, the power is still out.

“Nothing.”

Dean says, “Shit,” before he can catch himself. “We can head over to my house, see if it’s still got some juice?”

“I’m afraid the entire street is out,” and Dean gets up to look out the window, and, yeah. Jesus. “I will get some candles. Jack, you can go ahead and grab the flashlight from the kitchen,” and Cas vanishes upstairs with that, and Dean looks over at the kid who is still frozen in his seat, fork in his hand and all.

Dean squats down so he can rub at Jack’s back, make him look him in the eye.

“Hey, it’s gonna be all right, okay?” and Jack nods, weakly, but he stifles a sob with the next thunder. “Your dad’s gonna get this place lit up like a neat little prayer’s paradise. Like Christmas.”

Jack’s small for his age, but the force he uses to cling to Dean on the next racket outside is—premature.

Cas gives him an embarrassed look when he returns with his arms full of candles while Dean is rocking Jack like a toddler.

Dean gestures at Cas that it’s fine; lets Jack sob with his arms thrown around Dean’s neck, his face buried in Dean’s sweater. Wide eyes for Cas to emphasize he better get a fucking move on.

“I know, bud, I know. Your dad’s gonna set up the candles now, okay? Get this place nice and bright again.”

Over the soft halo of Jack’s hair, Dean watches Cas lighting what must be a fucking lifetime supply of candles. Pfsh. Christians.

Cas does it reverently, careful; like he does everything. The glowing, new lights reflect in his low-slipped glasses. He’s still in his button-down, his khakis.

“Hey, Jack, I think he’s done. You wanna check?” but right then rumbles another thunder, and Jack is quick to shake his head like a fucking drill.

Cas begins, “Jack,” but Dean promises, “It’s okay,” as he lifts to a stand with Jack still wound around him and his back’s gonna hate him tomorrow but that’ll be fine. Probably. “You gotta eat more, kid, you’re lighter than a feather,” and Dean catches Cas’ little smile in the corner of his eye, and he smiles back with a new layer of warmth in his stomach.

Jack calms down eventually. Takes a bit more rocking from Dean, and once Cas joins in and huddles up against Jack’s back so he is literally surrounded by them, held and coddled from all angles, he soon knuckles at his eye and dares to take a lift his head from his hideout.

Cas kisses the back of his head. “See? All better.”

“We can turn on some music. I’ve got some on my phone. All classic.”

Cas corrects, “Classic rock, you mean.”

“I mean—yeah.” He curls his fingers around Cas’ arm; strokes it sweet, and Cas’ mouth quirks gentle for that. “Jack’s all over The Kinks, aren’t you, bud?”

The kid mumbles, “Can you put on Girls Like You?”

“Uh, that’s not The Kinks,” and Jack says, “Yeah,” like an accusation and Cas bites back a smirk and Dean gives him enough of a deep look that Cas’s eyes melt, just a little, for him.

[fart-gate]

SG1

Season 4 episode 8

"THE FIRST ONES"

Notes by me

- the thumbnail is a lizard man

- the BANDANA

- archeologist! Daniel

- "sg11, archeologist survey, P3X 888, dig site 5" is it bad i thought it was sexy when he did this

- I paused it on the fossil and it looks like it had wings???

- Cleo lol

- so the goaulds werent parasites a few million yrs ago. Good to know

- robert rothman is bossy as hell

- old goaulds did NOT have naquada in their dna

"Thats significant"

"How so?"

"I have no idea"

💖💖💖💖

- 🎵sometimes I feel like...somebodys WATCHIN MEEEE🎵

- omg Daniel one punch and your down. Need to have more combat training with tealc buddy

- Daniel gets kidnapped YET AGAIN

- rothman yelling for Daniel was nice actually

- an unas!!! From the viking episode

- hopefully this one doesnt sound like james earl jones

- sg1 said oh Daniel in trouble? I already have my boots on lets go

- P3X 888 is where the goaulds originated? Didnt we already try looking for a homeworld?

- I thought the unas growling was Daniel snoring for like a hot sec ok im tired leave me alone

- apparently nobody likes rothman and yeah i get it hes annoying

- tealc is lead on this one! Master tracker

- "rest!....it means.......rest"

- "grrrrr rest" the stargate programs professional linguist everyone

- love Daniel just talking to himself

- "yes! Very refreshing! ok im good for the next ten miles"

- his eyes are piercingly blue for my pleasure only

- forest sets are my favorite btw

- 2 moons thats so cool why doesnt earth have 2 moons we're missin out

- why does he have 2 phones???

- oh its a recorder

- daniel recording himself: this creature has dragged me around for hours and wants to eat me. But other wise we've become great pals < 3

- "juvanile" he got kidnapped by a teenager akdndjd

- im sorry his eyes are so distracting

- OKAY OKAY when it growls at him and he puts his head down to be submissive hhhhrrrrnnnngggggg

- SHE SPEAKS!

- daniel could make friends with a rat and it would show him all their rat friends and rat culture. I got away with that metaphor but you know what I mean. He could make friends with anything

- I just CANT get over how pretty he looks in this ep??? You thought I wouldnt keep talkin about it??? U were wrong

- this unas whole costume is so cool

- daniel: *tries to drink by dipping face in water*

Unas: what were you raised in a barn?? Use your hands idiot

- how is he swimming with his hands tied

- that goauld came at him like a torpedo

- ok! The unas said you get goauld guts all over your face for being an idiot

- ka means no

- well now hes gonna be wet forever (👀)

- is hawkins the leader of sg11?

- of course Jack sits RIGHT next to the goauld infested lake!!! Of course!!

- ah my favorite. Spit roasted parasite

- needs salt

- unas: this is my cave

Daniel: LOVE what youve done with the place

- hot potato with a goauld head ajdjs

- "yes yes all the kids are playing this these days OOPS in the fire!"

- at least he made him laugh

- why every time one culture shares food with earth its always chocolate?? Why not idk fuckin??? Pringles???

- oh its a cliff bar

- alright. He didnt have to sexually moan while eating a cliff bar BUT he sure did

- this unas is very curious

- "I met my father in law like this" OOF movie reference

- btw the guy that plays the unas?? Amazing 10/10

- ah shit hawkins has a GOUALD!!!!

- the unas have cave drawings ooooo

- daniel recording himself: me and the unas are besties now

Unas: *draws picture of him dragging Daniel to his doom*

Daniel : ......nevermind

- can tealc sense the goauld in the lake?

- when he shoots it out of the air. Invented sexy

- Sam can only sense the ones with naquada!!! This is really cool plot

- jaffa are unblendable. I wonder if the other guy that was immune had what jaffa have

- daniel about to kill him with a large rock and then his chaotic morals take charge again

- btw no glasses Daniel has been here for almost the whole ep

- "its been a hoot"

- WHEN HE PUTS HIS HEAD DOWN 👀👀👀👀👀👀

- "anybody with a snake in their heads, raise your hand!"

- see!?!?! Tealc with the plans im tellin ya

- rothman too damn.

- that guy pronouncing goauld like "goo-ahld" ????

- "this way" *points to a sign that says 'this way'

- hurry up!! Daniel about to get consumed by reptilians!!

- aw hes protecting him!

- Daniel speak Big Lizard Man language now

- "we've communicated, we're friends!"

- LIZARD BRAWL

- KING LIZARD BOY!!!

- "dan-yeeeell??" Oh no oh no I'm crying he wants to keep him

- "sha-ah-ka" he liked Daniel bc Daniel said the word for their moon god ok I get it now

- "whats that mean?"

"I have no idea....but I think ive just been invited to come back one day and find out" 💖😭 best friends with lizard people

~

Whump under the cut

Daniel jackson whump: knocked out,dragged, kidnapped, waking up,hands tied, out of breathe, collapsing, flinching, exausted, leg swiped, fell over onto back, cut on face, bloody cheek, fear, more flinching, noises!, almost sacrificed to lizard ppl

BONUS:

Jack and sam whump: hands tied, less than 10 min

🤓no glasses!Daniel for 99% of episode!

🎶listening to Youve Got A Friend In Me by Randy Newman🎶 bc Daniel and the Unas are besties and I think im funny

[resilientsovl]

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME:  samuel  william  winchester. PRONUNCIATION:  pronounced  how  it’s  spelled. MEANING:  so  from   the  hebrew  name  שְׁמוּאֵל,  it  means  god  has  heard,  or  name  of  god.  it’s  a  little  ironic  considering  sam  is  lucifer,  god’s  fallen  son’s,  true  vessel.   REASONING:  sam  was  named  after  his  maternal  grandfather,  samuel  campbell. NICKNAME(S):  sam,  sammy,  little  winchester,  moose,  738273  other  height  related  nicknames. PREFERRED NAME(S):   sam. BIRTH DATE:  may  2,  1983. AGE:  honestly  he’s  not  sure.  he’s  died  3-4  times,  been  the  vessel  for  demons  and  archangels  which  probably  stalled  his  physical  aging  too.  i  say  he’s  probably  biologically  somewhere  around  35,  even  though  he’s  technically  47ish. ZODIAC: taurus. GENDER:  cismale. PRONOUNS:   he/him. ROMANTIC ORIENTATION:  heteroromantic. SEXUAL ORIENTATION:  bisexual.  (  he  can  appreciate  that  men  are  attractive,  has  probably  even  slept  with  a  couple,  but  has  no  desire  to  be  in  romantic,  serious,  relationships  with  men.  ) NATIONALITY:  american. ETHNICITY:   wonderbread  white. CURRENT LOCATION:  san  francisco,  ca. LIVING CONDITIONS:   a  crappy  two  bedroom  apartment  he  rents  by  the  month.  it’s  small,  not  in  a  great  neighborhood,  but  it  does  the  trick.   TITLE(S):   n/a.

BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE:   lawrence,  kansas. HOMETOWN:  technically  lawrence  kansas,  but  they  moved  around  frequently.   SOCIAL CLASS:  blue  collar. EDUCATION LEVEL:   undergraduate  degree  from  stanford.   FATHER:   john  winchester. MOTHER:   mary  winchester  (  neé  campbell  ).   SIBLING(S):   dean  winchester,  adam  milligan  (  half  ).   BIRTH ORDER:  dean,  sam,  adam.   CHILDREN:  jack  kline  (  adopted  /  unofficially  ) PET(S):   n/a. OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES:  bobby  singer,  pseudo  uncle.   castiel,  pseudo  brother  /  brother-in-law.   SIGNIFICANT  OTHER:   natasha  herrera,  wife.  (  separated  ) PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS:   jessica  moore,  amelia  richardson,  meg,  sarah  blake,  ruby,  a  few  one  night  stands,  amy  pond  (  first  kiss  ),  etc.   ARRESTS?:  a  few,  yes.   PRISON TIME?:  minimal,  seen  in  folsom  prison  blues.  

OCCUPATION & INCOME

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME:   credit  card  scams,  illegal  activity.   SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME:   n/a. TERTIARY SOURCE(S) OF INCOME:   hunting,  but  it  pays  for  shit.   APPROXIMATE AMOUNT PER YEAR:   unknown.   CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?:   this  is  never  the  job  he  wanted.  so  no,  definitely  not.   PAST JOB(S):   student.   SPENDING HABITS:  extremely  frugal,  only  on  necessities.   MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION:  john  winchester’s  journal.  

SKILLS & ABILITIES

PHYSICAL STRENGTH:   peak  physical  condition,  human,  in-shape.   OFFENSE:   extremely  skilled  with  weapons  and  hand  to  hand.   DEFENSE:  extremely  skilled  with  lethal  and  non-lethal  defensive  moves.   SPEED:  faster  than  average. INTELLIGENCE:  educated  and  above  average.   ACCURACY:   above  average. AGILITY:   above  average.   STAMINA:   above  average.   TEAMWORK:   below  average.  he  doesn’t  work  well  with  people  he  doesn’t  know  or  trust.  it  takes  time  to  develop  a  bond  /  ease  of  working  with  others.   TALENTS:   computer  skills,  digesting  information,  critical  thinking  skills. SHORTCOMINGS:   stubborn,  naive,  reckless,  deep  psychological  trauma,  suicidal  ideation,  a  nice  grabbag  of  issues.   LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN:   latin,  english,  probably  a  bunch  of  other  old,  dead,  languages  that  might  come  in  handy.  he  probably  also  took  spanish  in  school.   DRIVE?:   yes. JUMP-STAR A CAR?:   yes. CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?:   yes.   RIDE A BICYCLE?:   yes. SWIM?:   yes.   PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?:   no. PLAY CHESS?:   yes. BRAID HAIR?:   no. TIE A TIE?:   yes. PICK A LOCK?:  yes.  

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM:   jared  padalecki.   EYE COLOR:   hazel. HAIR COLOR:   brown. HAIR TYPE/STYLE:   long  and  flowing.   GLASSES/CONTACTS?:   n/a. DOMINANT HAND:   right.   HEIGHT:  6′4 WEIGHT:   220  ish  lbs. BUILD:   slender  but  muscular.   EXERCISE HABITS:  rigorous.  he  jogs  in  the  mornings,  does  sit  ups  /  pull  ups  at  night,  and  lifts  weights  during  the  day  in  between  cases.  he  stays  in  shape.   SKIN TONE:   tanned.   TATTOOS:   anti-possession  tattoo  over  his  heart.   it  was  carved  out  in  2026  but  the  scar  has  been  tattooed  over,  replacing  the  original.   PEIRCINGS:   none.   MARKS/SCARS:   he’s  died  and  come  back  so  many  times,  it’s  hard  to  say  what’s  still  there  and  what’s  gone.   he  does  still  have  the  bullet  wound  from  where  he  shot  chuck  though.  it  never  healed.   NOTABLE FEATURES:   nose,  hair.   USUAL EXPRESSION:   smirk  of  disbelief,  concern.   CLOTHING STYLE:   lumberjack  lesbian.   JEWELRY:    he  wears  a  chain  with  his  wedding  ring  around  his  neck,  the  one  he  never  got  to  put  on  for  real.   ALLERGIES:   none.   BODY TEMPERATURE:   normal. DIET:   not  great.  hence  the  need  to  work  out. PHYSICAL AILMENTS:   general  fatigue  from  a  rigorously  active  lifestyle.  

PSYCHOLOGY

JUNG TYPE:  INFJ JUNG SUBTYPE:  Introvert(47%)  iNtuitive (34%)  Feeling(31%)  Judging(38%) You have moderate preference of Introversion over Extraversion (47%) You have moderate preference of Intuition over Sensing (34%) You have moderate preference of Feeling over Thinking (31%) You have moderate preference of Judging over Perceiving (38%) ENNEAGRAM TYPE:   the  reformer  or  the  challenger.   MORAL ALIGNMENT:  chaotic  good.   TEMPERAMENT:   melancholic.   ELEMENT:   taurus  are  usually  earth  elements,  but  i  think  air  suits  sam  better.   PRIMARY INTELLIGENCE TYPE:   logical-mathematical,  probably.   APPROXIMATE IQ:   unknown.  we  know  he  scored  a  174  on  the  LSAT,  which  is  incredible,  but  that  doesn’t  always  translate  over  to  IQ.  i  would  say  he’s  got  a  pretty  high  IQ  even  if  he  lacks  a  few  common  sense  points.   MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS:   undiagnosed  depression,  anxiety,  PTSD,  imposter  syndrome,  and  survivor’s  guilt  —  and  that’s  just  the  tip  of  the  iceberg.   don’t  ask  me  to  psychoanalyze  the  winchesters,  it’ll  break  us  all.   SOCIABILITY:   he  doesn’t  seek  it  out  but  he  can  keep  up  with  the  joneses.   EMOTIONAL STABILITY:   not  good.  he  has  exhibited  severe  signs  of  codependency,  suicidal  ideation,  lack  of  regard  for  his  own  life,  and  believe  that  he’s  cursed.  the  boy  is  a  mess.   OBSESSION(S):  vengeance  after  significant  loss,  saving  people  (  even  if  it’s  from  themselves  ),  trying  to  make  up  for  all  of  the  blood  on  his  hands.   PHOBIA(S):   clowns.  not  a  fan.   ADDICTION(S):   demon  blood  (  previously  ) DRUG USE:   no. ALCOHOL USE:  recreationally.   PRONE TO VIOLENCE?:  can  be,  yes.  

MANNERISMS

SPEECH STYLE:  casual. ACCENT:   american.  nothing  specific.   QUIRKS:   chewing  on  pen  caps,  tapping  to  songs  on  the  radio  against  the  steering  wheel  with  his  fingers.   HOBBIES:   reading,  researching,  pool,  morning  crosswords.   HABITS:   stress  pacing,  irritability  under  extreme  pressure. NERVOUS TICKS:   jaw  clench,  nostrils  flaring,  hands  curled  into  fists.   DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS:  vengeance,  restoring  order  /  protecting  people,  survival.   FEARS:  losing  the  people  he  loves,  hurting  innocents,  isolation.   POSITIVE TRAITS:   dependable,  loyal,  protective,  determined,  strong,  honest,  vulnerable. NEGATIVE TRAITS:  impulsive,  reckless,  guilt-stricken,  naive,  obtuse,  too  trusting.   SENSE OF HUMOR:   dry,  sarcastic.   DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?:   no. CATCHPHRASE(S):  damnit, dean.    jerk  /  bitch.  

FAVORITES

ACTIVITY:   long  drives.   ANIMAL:  hedgehogs. BEVERAGE:   monster  energy  drinks.   BOOK:   probably  the  classics,  or  something  by  neil  gaiman. CELEBRITY:   he  doesn’t  have  one. COLOR:   blue.   DESIGNER:   doesn’t  have  one.   FOOD:  philly  cheesesteak.   maybe  mashed  potatoes,  if  not  the  cheesesteak.   FLOWER:   sunflowers. GEM:   none. HOLIDAY:    none.   MODE OF TRANSPORTATION:   car.   MOVIE:   mallrats.   MUSICAL ARTIST:  none.  he’ll  just  listen  to  whatever  they  have  in  the  car,  or  is  on  the  radio.  before  i  think  he  was  probably  into  top  40,  maybe  even  classic  rock  as  much  as  he  complained  about it.   QUOTE/SAYING:   none. SCENERY:   autumn  leaves  falling  from  trees.   SCENT:   linen.   SPORT:   none.  he  doesn’t  care.   SPORTS TEAM:   see  above.   TELEVISION SHOW:   none.  he  probably  only  watches  soap  operas  every  now  and  then  again.  he  doesn’t  watch  anything  he  would  have  to  invest  time  and  energy  in.   maybe  pawnstars,  or  mythbusters.   WEATHER:  drizzle.   VACATION DESTINATION:  somewhere  warm,  tropic,  and  free  of  monsters.  

ATTITUDES

GREATEST DREAM:   to  have  a  normal  life.   he  knows  he’ll  never  get  it,  has  come  to  terms  with  the  fact  that  he  was  never  going  to  be  normal.   GREATEST FEAR:   ending  up  alone,  watching  everyone  he  loves  die.   MOST AT EASE WHEN:  around  the  people  he  loves.   LEAST AT EASE WHEN:   on  a  hunt  that’s  starting  to  go  awry.   WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN:   turning  into  a  monster  —  the  very  thing  he’s  dedicated  his  life  to  hunting,  or  becoming  evil.  being  forced  into  killing  his  own  brother,  or  someone  he  loves  like  family,  would  also  make  the  list.   BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT:  in  a  really  soft  way,  i  want  to  say  it’s  becoming  a  pseudo  dad  to  jack.  it  might  not  have  been  what  he  saw  for  himself,  or  how  he  imagined  being  a  dad,  but  he  loves  the  kid.   if  not  that,  maybe  stopping  the  apocalypse.   not  that  it  lasted  for  very  long.   BIGGEST REGRET:   not  telling  jessica  the  truth.  he  will  always  believe  he  got  her  killed.  that  guilt  will  set  with  him  until  the  day  he  dies.   MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT:   too  many  to  count.   BIGGEST SECRET:   he  remembers  a  lot  of  what  the  demon  did  when  it  possessed  him  in  2026.   he  fought  with  everything  he  had,  but  every  time  he  broke  through  they  pushed  him  back  down.   TOP PRIORITIES:  figuring  out  what  comes  next,  i  suppose.  

[dudedrops319]

Dooley Noted - A musical journey through the mojo of a Toledo bluesman

(original version can be seen at https://toledocitypaper.com/feature/dooley-noted/)

Dooley Wilson is frustrated.

It’s 9:57 am on a cold Saturday in December and he is supposed to start playing at 10 o’clock. He has only just now stumbled out of the Toledo tundra into the cozy confines of the Glass City Cafe, which has booked him for its popular Bluegrass Breakfast music series.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” he cries out in the direction of restaurant owner Steve Crouse, who assures him everything is fine. Wilson looks pained as a brief flash of flame passes over his smoldering dark brown eyes. No, it’s not fine. He was scheduled to start playing the blues at 10 sharp, and now he’s going to start late. And a professional should always be punctual.

Undaunted, he swallows his disappointment and, within 10 minutes, he has everything set up at the front of the restaurant which serves as the stage. Upending his battered Cunard Queen of Elizabeth canvas bag, he sorts through the contents— Halls menthol cough drops, a bottle of slippery elm supplements (“Just in case my voice goes out”), a bottle of Deja Blue water, a glass vase that serves as a tip jar and a power strip.

He plugs the power strip into his amp, a well-loved 1965 Fender Bandmaster. And then out comes the artisan’s tool— his Jay Turser electric guitar. It doesn’t have a name or anything; it’s a utensil to serve the stew of blues (“It’s a cheapo guitar, but it’s MY cheapo guitar,” he muses). He’s almost ready. He asks, and a cup of hot black coffee is delivered. After the obligatory microphone check, he sits on the edge of a worn tan suitcase and readies his guitar. It’s time to go to work.

Soon the Glass City Cafe fills with the sound of the blues— and Wilson is lost in ecstasy. He’s sitting atop the worn tan suitcase, choking the guitar neck, his angular carved-in-stone features a mask of concentration, fingers and knuckles gnarled from a lifetime of plucking strings. There’s no setlist, no backdrop, no real plan. Just a working man with an instrument sharing the gospel of what he believes is the greatest music that exists. Wilson plays the blues as if his life depends on it.

And maybe it does.

From C.J. to Dooley

Dooley Wilson does not take toast with his mozzarella cheese omelet, favoring potatoes instead. Sitting in the Glass City Cafe months later— this time as a patron— he is a bit more relaxed than he was when he played here. He still doesn’t smile much. Wilson isn’t grumpy, he just carries himself with an intensity that’s disarming. You get the feeling that he doesn’t want to be here. That’s because he lives to do one thing: Play the blues. And when he’s not playing the blues, by gum, he wants to be playing the blues.

But for now, he’ll tell his story. Now 45 years old, he was born C.J. Forgy, in West Lafayette, Indiana to James and Sandy Forgy. His parents split when he was two years old and he went to live with his maternal grandmother in Maumee. An only child, Wilson describes himself as an “artsy kid” who spent hours in his room drawing and writing.

“Everyone thought I was going to be a visual artist,” says Wilson, taking a sip of his coffee. “But along with writing, over the years I’ve let those skills atrophy,” he says, with a regretful sigh. “But I don’t know; I’m thinking about taking up drawing again for its therapeutic value.”

So what sparked his obsessive devotion to the blues? It started as musical hangups often did in the ‘80s— with a cassette. At 15, Wilson, who was teaching himself guitar and whose musical tastes at the time ran towards Led Zeppelin, walked into Camelot Music in the now-long-gone Southwyck Mall and spied a tape from Columbia Records called Legends of the Blues Vol. 1. There was something about that tape that spoke to him.

He picked it up and looked at the back. As-yet unfamiliar names like Bo Carter, Blind Willie Johnson, Charley Patton, and Leroy Carr stared out at him from the tracklisting. Robert Johnson— he knew that name from an interview he’d read with Jimmy Page and he was fascinated by the infamous story about Johnson reputedly getting his blues talent while making a deal with the devil at a crossroads. Maybe it was the ghost of Johnson himself speaking to Wilson that day in Camelot Music. All he knew is that he had to buy it.

When he got home, he popped the tape into his boom box, and something in the universe shifted. At that moment, C.J. Forgy ceased to exist and the bluesman named Dooley Wilson was born.

“That anthology started this mystique and passion I had for this music,” says Wilson, in between forkfuls of omelet. “It just spoke to my angst-ridden soul at the time and I had never heard anything so authentic, so human, so real. Take Son House’s song ‘Death Letter,’ which is on that anthology. It’s taken from his 1965 Columbia session and it’s just this amazing song about how a man gets a letter saying that the woman he loves is dead. It’s just…” Wilson often trails off when he talks about the blues; yet another reason why he’d much rather play you a song than talk about it.

From that fateful moment, the blues wasn’t just a preferred style of music to listen to or to learn to play… it became, at that time, a life choice.

“I decided I’m going to devote my life to being some kind of bluesman like Fred MacDowell or Son House,” says Wilson. “It became much more important to me than making a living. If you weren’t dead and black, I couldn’t be bothered to listen to you.”

Henry & June

By the way, where did that name Dooley Wilson come from? Wilson smiles broadly with a touch of sheepishness. He was setting up one of his earliest gigs, at the famous East-side haunt Frankie’s, and his buddy Lance Hulsey (currently the leader of Toledo rockabilly outfit Kentucky Chrome)— who Wilson played with his first band, a heavy metal project called Harlequin— said that the promoter needed to know what to call him… and C.J. Forgy didn’t exactly sound bluesy. So the young musician, right there, decided on the name Dooley Wilson in homage to the actor and musician of the same name, famous for playing the character Sam in Casablanca. Dooley Wilson is now his legal name. He cashes checks with that moniker.

With a new name under his bluesman’s belt, the then-recent Maumee High School (Class of 1992) graduate needed a band that would let him explore the blues the way he wanted to. The result was Henry & June, a heavy blues ensemble that Wilson formed with his good friend Jimmy Danger. They got the band name from a recently released biopic of Henry Miller, one of Wilson’s favorite authors.

“I was obsessed with the blues at that time, but I’m still incapable of playing it correctly,” says Wilson, draining his coffee cup. “I was really struggling to learn how to play blues the way it was meant to be played.”

But even as he worked to unravel the mysteries of Deep South blues, Wilson was experiencing something unexpected: Success. Henry & June had released a single called “Going Back to Memphis” on Detroit label Human Fly Records, and the song was attracting a lot of heat. The popular band The Laughing Hyenas— which featured former Necros member Todd Swalla, who would go on to play with Wilson in his later outfit Boogaloosa Prayer— were big fans of the song and were trying to get Henry and June signed to Touch and Go Records. Some cat named Jack White, who had a little band called The White Stripes, also was a big Henry and June fan and began covering “Going Back to Memphis” in concert.

“We were kind of a hot, cult thing on the scene in Detroit,” says Wilson, thanking the Glass City Cafe waitress as she refills his coffee. “Jack White wasn’t the only cool person in Detroit who knew who we were though, of course, he became the most famous one. Judah Bower of the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion put out a cover of the single on his side project called 20 Miles. I heard The Von Bondies used to cover ‘Going Back to Memphis.’ It’s a really fun, simple, dumb song.”

And then right when things started to go well for Henry & June, it all went wrong. The blues were supposed to feel like freedom and suddenly Wilson and the rest of the band began to feel decidedly trapped.

“Jimmy in particular felt like things were getting stagnant,” says Wilson. “Things were going good for us but it started to feel like we were just going through the motions. It was creative claustrophobia.” And so the band, at its peak, unceremoniously broke up.

“We were just dumb kids. We had no idea what we were doing with our little garage band. Looking back, that may have been the worst decision of my career. But when you’re young and dumb, you don’t realize that; you just think ‘Well, I’ll just do the next thing that comes along.’”

Today, Henry & June is fondly recalled as an early part of the Detroit music resurgence of the latter 20th Century. While The White Stripes, Kid Rock, The Detroit Cobras, and various Detroit rappers, from Eminem to Insane Clown Posse, put the Motor City musically back on the map, Henry and June remains a small part of that legacy. Copies of “Going Back to Memphis” routinely go for more than $100 on eBay, and the song was recorded live by The White Stripes for their DVD concert film, Under Blackpool Lights.

And no, Wilson hasn’t received any royalties. It all worked out for the members of Henry & June, though. Drummer Ben Swank is now the top A&R guy at Third Man Records, Jack White’s label. The band did a well received reunion back in 2010 in Toledo and everyone is still cool with one another. But in rock-n-roll and the blues, time waits for no one, so Wilson was off to new projects and new adventures.

And those adventures would lead to him nearly lose his mind.

On a wing and a Boogloosa Prayer

Brushing off the ashes of Henry & June, Wilson decided to further buckle down and get more “authentically bluesy.” He quickly formed a new band with Ben Swank and guitarist Todd Albright, that went through various names such as Dime Store Glam and Gin Mill Moaners. They sat in for many nights at the long-gone-but-never forgotten Rusty’s Jazz Cafe.

“I was spending all of my disposable income on that watered down whiskey at Rusty’s,” said Wilson. “Rusty’s was an amazing little place.” After a while though, he got restless and decided he would get as real as the blues could get and move to New Orleans.

“I wanted to see if I could live as a street performer,” said Wilson. “I had this rather naïve idea that I could possibly make a living at it in that town. I suspected it was the place on Earth where you might encounter people doing this kind of music.”

So Wilson moved to New Orleans, virtually homeless, busking on the streets of NOLA. Meanwhile, The White Stripes were starting to get their first big taste of international notoriety and began introducing “Going Back to Memphis” to a whole new audience due to their frequent covering of the song in live gigs.

“There I am trying to get lunch money down in New Orleans, and suddenly The White Stripes and the whole Detroit thing started to blow up and I’m trying to be Mr Authenticity down in effing New Orleans,” says Wilson, shaking his head incredulously. “My career is awful. I always zig when I should have zagged.”

But New Orleans proved to be an artistically fruitful time for Wilson. He met true, dyed-in-the-wool blues players who were playing incredible music from their souls. Nobody had record deals or anything that could get in the way of making direct, honest music. Many of these men and women were homeless or living off the grid; something Wilson describes as “an anti-American dream.” He talks enthusiastically and excitedly about that time in his life.

“These were some of the greatest living blues artists. There was a guy named Augie Junior who was simply incredible. I had never heard anything like him. There was this woman named Lisa Driscoll who played the washboard. People called her Ragtime Annie. And…”

Suddenly Wilson stops in mid-sentence and a hollow expression crosses his face. He stands up, sets his coffee cup down, excuses himself with a hurried “I’m gonna step out for a minute” and before uttering another word, he’s left the Glass City Cafe. A few minutes pass and he returns, wiping his forehead.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, sitting back down. “It’s just…it’s hard talking about this. I just got a little overwhelmed talking about some of my departed friends.”

He steadies himself with a sip of coffee that’s starting to go cold, as he’s eager to move on to talk about his other great band, Boogaloosa Prayer. Formed after moving back to Maumee fresh off a year in New Orleans, Boogaloosa Prayer, which Wilson says “was one of the best things I ever did artistically” came after stints in short lived bands like The Young Lords, and The Staving Chain.

Boogaloosa Prayer, an aggressive blues rock outfit featuring in part his old friend Jimmy Danger and Maumee drumming legend Todd Swalla, garnered quite a devoted following, playing in both Toledo and Detroit. The band had momentum behind them that recalled the Henry & June days. Then one hot summer night in 2006 at the now-shuttered Mickey Finn’s Pub, Wilson’s demons got the better of him.

Sporting a shaved head and a sickly frame that was skinny even by his normally lithe, sinewy standards, Wilson cracked onstage during the show. He ranted incoherently, couldn’t perform any songs, and couldn’t remember any lyrics. To everyone who was there, it was a harrowing experience.

Today, Wilson is reluctant to talk about the incident but he acknowledges it happened.

“I can say that I had a horrible psychotic breakdown and it had an impact on my life,” says Wilson, a bit guardedly. “At the time I had several severe emotional stressors in my life. A toxic woman in my life was stalking me. I had a business deal that was crushing me under the pressure. Plus, Boogaloosa Prayer was breaking up at the time because Swalla was moving to California. It all led to that time in my life.”

Following his breakdown, Wilson spent some time in a psychiatric ward, and lived in his aunt’s attic as he attempted to rebuild his fragile psyche. He eschewed traditional psychotherapy and refused meds because he’d seen too many of his friends “get hooked on those damned things.” Through a lot of hard work, meditation, and support from his friends, Wilson says he “totally got well again” and he hasn’t had any mental health issues since— thank goodness.

“Losing your sanity really puts a damper on your life.”

Still walkin’ down that road…

Wilson now lives in what he calls “a shack,” though it’s actually a carriage house out on a property in Maumee. The place smells of incense, a bit cramped but cozy abode, filled with guitars, amps, books on Buddhism, and novels by Charles Bukowski. Exactly how you would expect Wilson to live. This is not the living quarters .of a typical 45 year old, but it is definitely the home of a bluesman— and that’s all Wilson ever wanted to be. He plays gigs around the region and works as a “factotum” (his term) helping out family members and friends with projects. He’s completed an album and is currently trying to figure out how to release it. Love? Not interested.

“I have the kind of personality where I just do better alone,” he says simply. He may be alone but he’s not lonely. He has the best friends in the world in his life, even if most of them are dead. Son House. Sonny Boy Williamson. Bo Carter. All those great blues artists of yesteryear he counts as his personal friends, and by playing their music and his own songs inspired by their influence, Wilson is a happy man.

On that cold December day at the Glass City Cafe, Wilson utters a line that captures his essence: “Oh, I’m Dooley Wilson. Don’t mind me.” But, about that, he’s wrong. Mind him. Pay attention to Dooley Wilson. Pay close attention.

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