#JUST THANK YOU SO MUCH? FOR CARING ABOUT KAEDEN AND FOR SENDING THESE IN AND THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH
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“ i promise that there’s beauty and hope inside you. ” - SABRIEL @ SAJA!!!!!!!!!!
@mythvoiced ♚ from x.
♔ -----------
They’re usually filled with giggles, along with words that tend to make the grim reaper glare and scowl. But this time, what leaves their lips and echoes through the room sounds very different. Different than any mischievous surprise, different than any attempt to prod at him until gaining a shade of frustration. It sounds honest; it sounds...gentle, like a ditty hanging from vowels and consonants. It sounds so oddly reassuring, as if there’s some sort of knowledge Sabriel gets the opportunity to hold onto, even if he cannot, even if he doesn’t remember.
Lips that resemble color of cherry red make a sound, something akin to a long sigh as he adjusts himself upon seat. His index finger idly makes a crooked line against the plastic cup; green straw being forgotten for a moment as he takes his companion’s words in. The semblance of a promise, how can they be so sure?
“What if there isn’t? Beauty. Or hope.”
Is he supposed to be any of those things? Hope, perhaps. That he can vaguely see. Not in himself, but in the people he guides. He’s able to witness that glint of dream upon their eyes, the silver lining which makes them realize that death isn’t exactly so bad after all; that is not that scary as they once thought. Some tend to think the bridge to the afterlife is filled with thorns and uneasiness; an obscure forest where you can get lost.
Who would’ve thought you’re welcomed by a cup of tea served with pale hands instead. Who would’ve thought there’s a comforting speech before you reach those high stairs.
This notion placed in such light, well, it makes him believe that perhaps there is beauty and hope. In what he does. But in him? Inside him? Sometimes he doubts, sometimes he’s hesitant; sometimes he’s not so sure. Not because there’s the solid wish to knock himself down, but because there are certain notions that trap his mind into a million of what if’s.
It’s even harder when you don’t even know who you used to be.
“What if...there’s so much darkness you can’t see anything inside? What if...I’m not made of the things you and others think I’m made of? What if I turn out to be someone who...someone bad? I didn’t...I’m not here because I did something good, am I?”
Reality slaps him in the face once more. Grim reapers are there to atone for their sins. Horrible sins, according to a legend he cannot confirm, for he doesn’t remember what he did. He doesn’t remember, he just can feel, from time to time, that sting.
“Sabriel, perhaps you shouldn’t think too nicely of me.”
A small smile appears; telling them he’s grateful for that bright promise of theirs. Unknowingly so, they’ve become someone important. Yes, there’s banter here and there; Reaper even scolds them as if he’s the oldest when they’ve actually been around for far longer than him. There’s been discussions, both in a superficial and deep level; all these moments leading up to the thought of considering their presence as one he’d like to keep around.
A rascal, but a good one. One who cares about humanity and is curious about their surroundings, one who uses their powers based on their principles and what they believe in, even if that might break some rules along the process. Their way of thinking is peculiar, or so Reaper thinks.
“I wouldn’t like...to disappoint you.”
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#♔ || every rascal is not a thief ; sometimes a rascal's an archangel (sabriel).#It's sad hours with your local Reaper I'M SORRY WIEHDKAJHDIEWUHD#I cry at how Reaper could...easily detach himself from...caring?#As in 'it doesn't matter what anyone thinks // as long as I keep doing my job correctly I'll be fine and lead another life where I'll forget#everyone here'#BUT HE CARES A LOT#He cares about all these people and all these lovely creatures he's met along the way#Sabriel and Kaeden and Goblin and Eun-Tak and jUST----#He just doesn't want to...be someone negative in their lives after all#He's grown so fond of all of them#pls send help#I HOPE THIS IS OKAY#I'm sorry if it's sort of...a lil' sad IWHEIDUWHD#If you'd like me to change something DO LET ME KNOW and I will <3#THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING THIS IN :3c in this house we love and stan Sabriel (AND YOU UwU)#P.S. - I see that new icon (EYES EMOJI) IT'S!!!!!!!! UwU!!!!!!!!!!!!! IUWHEIDUWHD---#Very lovely icon very nice---#♔ || queue.
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Since we know exactly what Ahsoka went through during Order 66, maybe you could do a prompt of her having a nightmare of it? I’m sure Dr. Larte knows how to deal with panic attacks!
Hey anon.... thanks for the prompt. This one turned into a 3000 word one shot! I hope you enjoy it. I included some Rex too as it made more sense to me that he would be able to comfort Ahsoka about this particular dream. but Kaeden is there too, so a bit of a compromise. I hope you enjoy it.
This one shot is also up on both Fanfic.net and Archive if my readers over there are interested. Links are below.
Fanfic link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12833125/49/The-One-Shot-Saga
Archive link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13648131/chapters/57906610
Anyways, here is the prompt for you anon. Thanks again. I had great fun writing this one!
An endless swarm of blaster fire erupted in her direction, each shot either missing her by inches, or being precisely deflected away by her sabers. Usually she would reflect them back at those that had dared to attack her, but this time…. This time was different.
She didn't want to hurt them…. Not if she couldn't help it.
Pivoting on her heel, she brought her shoto up again, defecting a trio of blue bolts away from her, before pooling what energy she had left in her to unleash the Force forward, knocking her would be assassins off their feet.
Pivoting again, she brought her blade up to reflect another series of bolts from a group that had flanked her, clearly trying to strike her back when it was turned.
Once again, she deflected the bolts, before trusting in the Force to push her foes away.
"Get me to the ship!" A cry from beside her caught her attention, stun blasts erupting from his own blasters as he too fought off those that would see them both dead.
Nodding her head once, she moved into position, continuing to deflect the bolts, protecting both herself and her companion.
Once ready, she nodded at her companion, who turned his attention away from the horde of their former friends that were surrounding them and made towards the Y-wing.
More bolts came their way, and more and more, and she began to tire. This was a do or die moment, and she had no intention of dying today…. Not like this…. Not to her own men!
Her companion reached the ledge, and she turned, pushing out with the Force to send her companion careening through the air, before landing on the front of the fighter that was their only salvation.
A small sigh of relief left her body before something hit her back, resulting in pain and agony flooding through her. It wasn't the first shot she had taken so far. Her arms were burnt from various shots that had glanced her skin thus far, and her hips were aching from a direct blast she had taken to it courtesy of someone she one trusted. For not the first time she thanked her Mandalorian friends for the outfit they had gifted her for the campaign. What areas it did protect of her body had likely saved her life.
Spinning around again, she unleashed the Force once more, knocking three more assailants off their feet.
Moving her arms, something that was becoming increasingly more difficult, she altered her blades to continue to deflect more incoming fire whilst her companion got to safety.
Blast after blast came her way, and she tried as she could to deflect as many as she could, ensuring that she didn't harm anyone else in the process.
The burn on her back pulsated in agony, but she couldn't pay it any mind, not right now.
Another shot grazed her arm, causing her to flinch in pain, but again, she could pay it no mind. She had to fight! She had to survive! She had to…
Another shot broke through her defenses, grazing her knee and forcing her to collapse briefly, narrowly avoiding a shot that was aimed for her head in the process.
Hissing through her teeth, she pushed herself up, ignoring the agonizing pain that echoed around her body as she continued her collapsing defense. She couldn't afford to take another hit. Any more and…
A loud explosion echoed throughout the hanger, her montrals ringing in response to the sudden sound before the entire ship began to list to one side, causing all of her former friends to lose their balance and…
*******************************************
"NO!"
The scream of terror, followed by the way her companion shot up in bed was more than enough to instantly wake up Kaeden Larte. Usually she was slow to wake up, preferring to let her body and mind prepare itself for the day ahead at it's own pace.
But this…this was something different, Kaeden could tell.
Pushing herself up, Kaeden instantly turned her attention to Ahsoka, who was now sat up in bed, eyes wide and haunted, entire frame shivering with terror.
"Ahsoka?" Kaeden asked quietly, reaching a hand over to place on her back, hoping to comfort her.
The Togruta flinched in response, her panicked eyes darting around the room, before her hands reached out and summoned something to her.
The next thing Kaeden knew Ahsoka was up out of their bed, her body dropping into a combat stance as her lightsabers flew into her waiting hands, white blades ignited and waiting for something. Kaeden watched as the Togruta pivoted her blades in various arcs, as if deflecting blaster fire away from her.
Except, there was no blaster fire… and there was no one trying to harm Ahsoka in the way she clearly thought there was. Whatever Ahsoka had been dreaming off was obviously bad if this was how she was reacting.
"Ahsoka? Ahsoka, it's me, Kaeden. Are you alright?" Kaeden spoke softly, trying to get through to her partner.
The Togruta's eyes continued to dart around, her blades moving around her in defensive arcs, still blocking the imaginary blaster fire away from her.
"Ahsoka?" Kaeden tried again, slowly reaching down to her side of the bed, picking up her dressing gown to drape over her own body in the process.
"Kae… Kaeden?" Ahsoka spoke this time, the alert in her eyes and body stance fading, her lightsabers extinguishing in an instant, dropping out of her hands and landing at her feet in the process as the Togruta began to shiver again.
"Hey, hey Ahsoka… it's alright. Come, sit down with me." Kaeden spoke, slowly reaching a hand forward to grasp Ahsoka's pulling her to a sitting position on the side of the bed before joining her, wrapping one arm around Ahsoka's body to comfort her.
Kaeden knew that Ahsoka had nightmares from time to time. Kriff, she had seen a few of them herself. Ahsoka would wake up in the middle of the night with a haunted look on her face, perhaps a few breathless gasps, before she would lay back down and cuddle into Kaeden's body, seeking comfort.
But never before had she shot up out of bed like that. Never before had she tried to defend herself from an imaginary threat!
Clearly, whatever the nightmare had been about was bad. Very very bad.
Ahsoka would not stop shivering, her body becoming slick with sweat, even as Kaeden tried to comfort her, whispering soothing words into her lekku.
"Talk to me Ahsoka. Tell me." Kaeden spoke, hoping that maybe if she talked about it, it would help. It usually did.
"I… I…"
"Yes?"
Ahsoka froze suddenly, gasping out in what appeared to be sudden pain from something, but what Kaeden did not know.
"Kaeden! Get me the bacta patches quick! I've been shot! I'm trying not to hurt them, but they shot me!"
Alarm flooded Kaeden once more. Ahsoka had been shot! How? When? By whom?
"Hurry Kaeden! It hurts!"
Kaeden vaulted to her feet, taking care not to hurt Ahsoka any more as she rushed over to the make-up table she had brought, opening a draw on it and removing a container of emergency bacta patches.
Spinning back around, she moved towards Ahsoka and spoke, her mind in 'Doctor Larte' mode.
"Where are you hit Ahsoka?" Kaeden asked, removing one of the bacta patches from the container, preparing to lay it across the wounds when Ahsoka revealed where it was. It would only be a temporary fix, but for now it would do.
"Everywhere! They got me on the knee, and the back. The waist too! And my arms! Look!"
The sheer panic in Ahsoka's voice was beginning to scare Kaeden. She was never ever like this, even when actually being shot at. Her dream must have been beyond bad!
"Show me Ahsoka." Kaeden spoke, controlling her worry the only way she knew how, by being a Doctor. She had treated blaster wounds before. She just had to get her patient to calm down.
"Here!" Ahsoka's cry in response as she removed one hand from where she had been covering part of her arm, likely the spot where she had been shot.
However, when Kaeden glanced at the wound, Kaeden saw nothing. There was no damage to the skin, not that Kaeden could see. There was a small mark however, one that looked like a faded scar from a time when she had been shot. The wound had clearly healed over time, so why was Ahsoka….
"And here too!" Ahsoka cried out again, gesturing to another part on the other arm, where again, there was no blaster mark except for a faded scar of the past.
"Ahsoka…. There's nothing there, love." Kaeden spoke softly, confusion flooding her mind. Ahsoka seemed so sure that she had been shot, but there was nothing she could see on her body to say so, nor was there the stench of burnt flesh that Kaeden associated with a blaster wound.
"There is Kaeden! There is! They got me on my back too! And my waist! Look!"
Despite knowing she wouldn't find anything, Kaeden did look. Ahsoka's back was already a mess of scars thanks to Palpatine's Force lightning assault, but still, Kaeden could find no fresh blaster wound to treat, nor could she find any on the Togruta's waist.
"THEY ARE THERE KAEDEN! I SWEAR TO YOU! THEY ARE!"
Ahsoka's screams of self belief were accompanied by tears pouring from her eyes, sobs wracking her body in the process as the Togruta began to curl up in herself, shivering at a much more violent rate.
Kaeden honestly didn't know what to do. She'd never dealt with something in this condition before. She was a physical healer, not a mental one, and without the proper context as to what her dream had been about, Kaeden was utterly lost of what to do next.
Luckily for her, help came right away.
The bedroom door burst open, and the figure of Ahsoka's closest and oldest friend came darting into the room, a look of deep panic on his face.
"What's wrong!? I heard shouting!" Captain Rex asked, his own hazel eyes widening at the state of Ahsoka shivering on the bed. The old Clone had come round for a barbecue, and had chosen to sleep the night in the spare room. Clearly he had been awoken by the noise in the adjacent room, despite the soundproofing. How, Kaeden didn't know, and right now she wasn't even thinking about it. She had more pressing concerns.
"I don't know! She had a nightmare I think. She woke up, and grabbed her sabers, like she was deflecting blaster fire. She said she'd been shot and she tried to show me wounds on her arms and back, and her waist, but I can't find anything Rex!" Kaeden explained, trying in vain to keep the panic out of her voice. Ahsoka was hurting, and there seemed to be nothing Kaeden could do.
"Do you know what she was dreaming about Kaeden?" Rex asked, panic in his own voice as he approached the curled up Togruta, hesitating to reach out and touch her, to try and bring her back to them.
"No I… she didn't say anything Rex. She just suddenly started shaking violently and said something about trying not to hurt the people who were shooting her! I don't know what to do Rex!"
"It's ok Kaeden, it's ok. We'll figure it out. Where on the arm did she say she was shot?" Rex spoke, calming himself down despite the situation they were in. The constant sobs of the Togruta on the bed began to subside, however the shaking and what sounded like groans of pain did not.
"There." Kaeden replied, pointing towards where Ahsoka had gestured earlier, towards the small scar from the past. "But there is nothing there anymore. Any injury she did have has healed. I don't understand Rex!"
Rex didn't reply at first, not as he surveyed the small exposed mark on Ahsoka's arm. Something was going through the old Clone's mind, that much was clear, but whatever it was Kaeden did not know.
"I do. I understand perfectly." Rex finally replied, before gesturing to the container in Kaeden's hand, requesting a bacta patch.
Choosing to trust Ahsoka's oldest friend, Kaeden extracted the patch and gave it to Rex, who nodded in appreciation and moved towards Ahsoka.
"Ahsoka? Ahsoka can you hear me? It's Rex."
Ahsoka's shivering seemed to slow for a moment, as if she was recognizing the voice and it's owner.
"Re…. Rex?"
"Yeah, it's me Ahsoka. Are you ok?"
The Togruta moved in an instant, pushing her body up and throwing herself at the Clone, head buried in his neck like a lost child to a parent. From the way Rex reacted, he didn't mind. The Clone wrapped his arms around the Togruta, holding her tight as she began to sob again.
"Ssshh…, it's ok Ahsoka. You're safe. You're not hurt."
"I am Rex…. I am. They shot at me! My own men. Your brothers."
"Ahsoka, that was over twenty years ago. They can't hurt you anymore. You're safe, remember?"
"I… I'm safe?"
"Always Ahsoka. Always. Now, let me look at your wounds please"
"Ok."
The timid response from Ahsoka was surprising to Kaeden, but right now she was more glad that the Togruta had stopped shaking and sobbing and was holding a conversation with someone, no matter how small.
Kaeden watched as Ahsoka pulled back from Rex slightly, allowing the Clone to begin to inspect her arms for the wounds Ahsoka was convinced existed.
"Ahsoka, your wounds have healed nicely. They have left scars however. Is that ok?"
At Rex's words, the Togruta nodded, allowing Rex to continue.
"The wound on your back has also faded, though you have other scars there too. Again though, no major damage. Purely cosmetic."
"Ok."
"As for your waist, well the Beskar plating you were wearing took the brunt of the blaster impact. The only lasting damage was a bruise, which has faded."
"It has?"
"It has. You're going to be ok kid, you hear me?"
"Yeah… yeah I hear you. Thanks Captain. Sorry."
"Don't ever worry about it."
The Togruta's entire body language changed instantly, the terror that had been permeating from her fading away and instead being replaced with the calm serenity that Ahsoka was known for.
Kaeden watched as Rex stood from the bed, pulling back the covers enough for Ahsoka to climb back under, before tucking the Togruta into bed as she dozed off to sleep.
Content that his job was done, Rex passed the unused bacta patch back to Kaeden, before gesturing for her to follow him out the door.
*******************************************************
Several minutes later, and with a cup of hot blue milk in each of their hands as they sat in the lounge, Rex began to explain.
"Ahsoka was dreaming about the day Order 66 was issued. The Clones, including me, turned on her and tried to kill her. She got my chip out of my head and we had to fight our way off the ship together. Ahsoka was adamant that we not harm anyone, but that didn't stop my brothers from using lethal Force."
Kaeden sat and listened, feeling sick to her stomach. She knew all about Rex's story involving Order 66. Part of her had been mad at him until Ahsoka had explained the chips and their function. Now, Kaeden felt nothing but pity for the Clones. They had been used as a weapon against those who trusted them most.
"We made it to the hanger, and whilst we were there Ahsoka got hit, a lot. She took several grazes to her arms, as well as one to her knee, but she also got him in the back and the waist. I think she was having a nightmare about that." Rex continued, a haunted look in his eyes as he recalled the events.
"What about you?" Kaeden asked, wondering just how well Rex had fared. It couldn't have been easy, going against his own brothers in a life or death situation.
"I took a shot to my shoulder, as well as a few close calls, but aside from that I was fine. Ahsoka was in a much worse state than me. I treated those wounds of hers years ago after it was all said and done, and she treated mine. It's not a day I'll ever forget, that's for sure."
"Do you think Ahsoka has PTSD over it?" Kaeden asked, already knowing the answer, but needing to hear it from Rex to confirm it.
"I know I do Kaeden. We both very nearly died that day. It was us against an entire ship of Clones, and Maul certainly didn't help matters when he left us behind to die!"
A rise of anger built up inside Kaeden at the mention of Maul leaving them to die. Clearly that had now changed, but even still, she'd make sure Maul suffered for that one, even if it did happen years ago.
"I think I understand. I guess she responded to you better than me because you were actually there with her Rex." Kaeden said, coming to the realization of why she couldn't reach the panicked Ahsoka. Rex was the only one who truly knew what Ahsoka had been through that day, and the two of them had an unbreakable bond thanks to it. Kaeden wasn't jealous, not by a long mile, but she did understand, and frankly she was glad that Ahsoka had someone like Rex around to help her in times like these.
****************************************************
Both Kaeden and Rex finished their drinks in silence, each contemplating the situation they had found themselves in, and each thanking the Force for the peaceful resolution.
Glancing over at the chronometer on the wall, Kaeden noted the time as shortly after midnight. Kaeden didn't know how long they had both been up, or when Ahsoka's nightmare had begun, but right now she knew she needed to get back to bed, a feeling that was shared by Rex.
Placing their mugs in the sink, they retired upstairs, with Rex returning to the spare room and Kaeden moving to join Ahsoka in their bed.
Opening the door to their bedroom, Kaeden slowly crept into the room, gently closing the door in the process and approaching her side of the bed.
Pulling back the covers enough to expose her side of the bed, Kaeden dropped her dressing gown on the floor before sliding under the covers next to Ahsoka.
As quiet as she tried to be however, Kaeden's movement was enough to disturb Ahsoka, whose eyes opened slightly, a sleepy smile coming to her face as she recognized Kaeden.
"Hey."
"Hey back." Kaeden replied, leaning forward to rest her forehead against Ahsoka's, pulling her into an embrace in the process.
The terror and fear that had been in Ahsoka's eyes earlier had faded, instead being replaced by the happiness that the Togruta always seemed to reveal when around Kaeden.
"Missed you." Ahsoka whispered, one of her hands coming up to Kaeden's cheek to gently caress it.
"I wasn't gone that long Ahsoka." Kaeden replied, leaning her face into Ahsoka's palm and pressing a gentle kiss to it, relishing the contact.
"I know. Still missed you. Love you." Ahsoka spoke, before she again closed her eyes, dozing off once more, content and peaceful in Kaeden's arms.
Smiling to herself, Kaeden too closed her eyes, allowing sleep to claim her alongside the woman she adored the most, and the one she would protect from anything, even nightmares.
"Love you too Ahsoka."
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For the Star Wars questions- 16 & 19. :)
Thank you!!! (y’all this got ridiculously long for two damn questions lol)
Send me a number and i’ll tell u my fave/least fave:
16. Book/Comic (Aight, so I’m actually not a huge comic reader in general, most of my comic knowledge comes from other fans on here posting about them, so this is gonna be mainly book-focused)
FAVE: Welllllll, since I’m literally incapable of narrowing down my favorite anythings, I’m gonna do faves for both canon and EU novels.
Canon-wise, it’s a tie beween A New Dawn and Ahsoka. I know I don’t post about them as much on here, but I truly have a super soft spot for Kanera and Kanan and Hera’s characters, they’re just so GOOD and I love themmmmm aaaaaaaaa. You get super good insights to how Kanan was running wild and traumatized and trying to repress everything and how Hera was a little naïve but still tough as nails and she had a dream and she was going to make it happen or so help her, ugh I just love how the story showed how they’re strongest as a team working together and I just love character dynamics where the two are so obviously married and kinda snark at each other sometimes but they have each other’s backs through everything and know each other like the back of their hands and uggghhhh this is just such a healthy good ship and such a good book. The Ahsoka novel is just fantastic all on its own because it shows Ahsoka as a young adult, kinda floundering and lost in this new world, full of guilt over what happened with Anakin and the Order, trying to do what she can to help people and just enduring because she’s a survivor, she was raised (by two argumentative, adoptive parents who love her very much SO SAYETH THE BOOK) to be a survivor and handle herself, but that doesn’t mean she’s not lonely as all hell. And oof I just fucking adore Kaeden Larte and her relationship with Ahsoka (who absolutely comes back and marries her once the war is over oh yes) and her relationship with Miara and ugh just all of it is A+++++. E.K. Johnston is just an amazing author in general and her other book, Queen’s Shadow is one of my two canon runner ups because I am in love with her Sabé and her Padmé. Other canon runner up is A Certain Point Of View, if only for the “Time of Death” chapter. Don’t get me wrong, the rest of it is also fantastic, but oh god it kills me DEAD OBI WAN DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER AND I CRY I REALLY CRY
EU-wise (oh god, I haven’t even gotten to least-faves yet), it has to be the Revenge of the Sith novelization. Without a question. Y’all it’s SO FUCKIN’ good, and in my personal opinion should be considerrred canonnnnnn (look I think the reason they gave for excluding it is that there’s no mention of Ahsoka or Rex or Mandalore or any of the stuff that happened literally the day before which is valid, but I counterpoint that Anakin is a mess with A Lot Going On At The Moment, he could have just forgot? He forgets most of his morals, all of his common sense, and three of his limbs by the end of the story, Snips could have just slipped his mind! xD). Anyway, besides the fact that it’s like 99% written in Obikin-colored glasses which really just makes me happy as a person because I love it being acknowledged just how important they are to each other, it really offers a deeper insight INSIDE the chaos going on in Anakin’s head, the mess, just why he falls so quickly and so awfully. I love it gives the Padmé plot that got cut on screen some validity. The beautiful beginning and the goddam introductions to Anakin Skywalker and Obi Wan Kenobi are just A++++++++++++++ and oof other people can more accurately describe just how good this book is, but I love it a Big Lot ok?
LEAST FAVE: Okey doke, here we go.... So firstly for canon, I’m not the biggest fan of how Claudia Grey writes Leia’s character. She’s a wonderful storyteller and I love her worldbuilding, but just the way she characterizes Leia herself never felt... right, ya know? Idk, I can’t really explain it, but it makes it difficult for me to enjoy her Leia novelsWarning right now that this is a VERY unpopular opinion and my opinion alone, please do not yell at me! So as skilled and admired an author Timothy Zahn is, I don’t like the Thrawn books. I’m sorry, I don’t. To me, Thrawn is just.... ok so he’s like BBC!Sherlock but in space. The plot makes a big deal about how “oooh cool and intelligent and Literally Better Than Everyone Else” Thrawn is, but the only way they really show his “cleverness” is by either him solving problems by pulling together information that literally no one but the writer knows and then acting like it was oh so obvious and in front of everyone OR, the story dumbs down other characters to make him look smart. And maybe it was because the one Thrawn book goes after Anakin/Vader in particular to do the latter is what kinda ticked me off on Thrawn books in general, but y’all, it really ticked me off, because Anakin is like the lowest hanging fruit for an author to pick to make their character look good in comparison, and therefore it is done All The Time (LOOKING AT YOU, CLONE WARS), which I think is lazy and an insult to Anakin’s character. Look, I am fully aware Anakin Skywalker is a dolt to the highest degree sometimes, but he is ALSO A GENIUS. He is SMART. IT IS CANON THAT HE IS SMART. So when the Thrawn book has Thrawn constantly one-upping Anakin The Useless Doofus (and Padmé a bit!!!) and then doing it again once he meets him as Vader, that just makes me hmmmm.
The canon comics are actually gonna be featured on the list here a bit because if y’all don’t already know my hatred for That One Particular Vader Comic (not the rest of the series run as I have not read it and from what I hear, it’s excellent and I’d probs like it a lot) doing the implication in a dream sequence where it says that Palpatine used the Dark Side to impregnate Shmi and create Anakin, well I HATE IT. Look, I know the plot was literally about Sidious trying to mess with Vader’s head and that dream shouldn’t be trusted, but it fooled all the fans too and now like 60% of Star Wars fans actually believe Sidious fathered Anakin and I am so damn tired of hearing about that. Yeah, now that Reylo is canon, that comic’s authors are trying to do damage control by saying that no, Sidious isn’t Anakin’s father and Rey and Ben are not second cousins, but they’re still being mysterious about it and “oh well it COULD be this--” so now there’s just more fans who are digging into that theory just because they don’t like Reylo and I don’t really care for the ship either but I really HATE the entire “Born of the Dark” concept for reasons I can explain more separately, so I’m pissy at that particular comic for spawning it. I know it’s petty but I do.
EU-wise, well, this is gonna be unpopular too, cuz I haven’t read most of the EU stuff, and from what I’ve heard of it, there doesn’t seem to be much that I WOULD like. The movie novelizations all seem good, but everything else??? “Obi Wan prequels but guess what, he had a shitty childhood too!” uh, no thanks, the rest of his life sucks enough, I want to see him happy. “Mandalorian worldbuilding, but they’re all a bunch of stoic, overpowered badasses who are Good At Everything And Better Than Literally Everyone and the plot bashes the Jedi left right and center!” ehhhhhhhh pass. “What happened after Return of the Jedi, except the Skywalkers still don’t get a happy ending because the galaxy goes to war again, Han and Leia’s son turns evil, Luke Suffers, and Palpatine comes back again!” nah, that sounds too depressing-- oh wAIT :) :) :)(at least the EU actually lets Han and Leia grow old and happy together okay okay that’s enough sequel salt for one day)
19. Outfit
FAVE: Everything Padmé Amidala wears in the movies. No I will not narrow it down. I am in love with her whole wardrobe and I want it.
I also love the standard Jedi tunics and tabards and cloak (c’mon, the cloak completes the picture!) It’s just such a signature and unique look that’s supposed to combine medieval European knight tunics and samurai warrior clothing and just the #aesthetic is oof, just wonderful.
Also Sabine Wren’s armor and its various paint jobs. It’s just so uniquely her and bright and beautiful and badass in all its stages and yes good I like it.
Also Lando Calrissian’s cloaks! Swooshy and colorful and good! I love cloaks!
LEAST FAVE: Gonna go with my petty, silly ones first, and those are all of Padmé Amidala’s outfits that are only seen in the The Clone Wars TV show (so not the ones that were based off of movie costumes). Eh, actually three of them were nice, her orange outfit she visits Mina in, her white casual housedress, and her black slinky Clovis dress. All of her other series-only outfits made me highkey pissy because they were either A.) Wrong for the situation she was in, B.) Defied the laws of physics and should not have held the shape they did/stayed on her body, or C.) just plain UGLY (the highest crime of all), and for the animators to have the audACITY to put any of those things in the mere vicinity of the most stylish woman in the galaxy is an insult to Padmé, an insult to ME, and an insult to Star Wars as a whole (yes, I am mostly joking, but come on!). No, I will not give the designers the excuse of clothing being difficult and expensive and time consuming to animate because I have SEEN the fancy, PRETTY outfits of the other ladies of Padmé’s status on the show. Everything Satine Kryze wore was intricately beautiful as all hell and I loved it. Riyo Chuchi’s two outfits were lovely and fashionable. Heck, I’m pretty sure I liked Mina Bonteri’s outfit too. There were tons of people on that show with stylish clothing! How hard would it have been for the animators to remember Padmé doesn’t wear exposed midriffs on official government business? That dresses with no sides or back cannot be sleeveless or they will not stay up? Not give her hairstyles that looked like either a goddam tuning fork or like Jimmy Neutron’s mother? That beige jumpsuits are BORING and adding a mauve vest is NOT enough to make it exciting!!!! xD xD xD
Aight, now in more seriousness, I also hated both of Ahsoka’s outfits in the original TCW show. Enough people have spoken on why sending a fourteen year old into an active warzone in a tube top and miniskirt is a BAD IDEA, but like it just makes me extra mad when you remember her older and more experienced at Not Getting Pulverized Masters were both in full concealing robes and chest and shoulder and shin armor, so you can’t even pass it off as Jedi not getting hurt as easily. Her updated outfit was only slightly an improvement because her Masters STILL got at least fully covering robes and arm bracers, while Ahsoka still had her entire back exposed, leg holes exposing valuable arteries and stuff, and a goddam boob window that basically signals “shoot me here”. Look, I know the animators goofed, and I know how they have learned from it because from Rebels on, they never show her as improperly covered for battle, in the new TCW season both outfits are cute and practical too, but seeing her running around in her red outfits actively impeded and took me out of my watching experience because I was cringing over her having a lack of protection, that it made her that much more vulnerable to injury.
Finally just gotta give a standard raised finger to the Slave Leia Bikini. Carrie Fisher hated it so I do too.
#thanks so much!#now i'm all worked up over Padmé's TCW costuming jeez#like there was one other outfit of hers the purple midriff exposing dress that was pretty i liked it#but like.... it was NOT something she would wear to meet the fucking Queen of Naboo like seriously#@ liz i got your ask too don't worry but it is a wee bit longer and i'm still working on it lol#asks#nerdgatehobbit#star wars#star wars stuff#queen of my heart#snip snap#ahsoka tano#padme amidala#ship: space parents#space cowboy#mvp (most valuable pilot)
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SOME Q'S FOR KAEDEN AS WELL: When did they start to realize that they needed to break from the usual cycle as a reaper? How long has it been since they stopped guiding souls? Do they get symptoms of their past that they don't know it's part of their past (like Reaper with his chest stings, etc.)? Since they like neon lights, would they enjoy going to light parades? If they had the chance to know about their past with no repercussions whatsoever, would he take it? HAVE A NICE DAY uwu
@jeoseungsaja | hello, it is I, the person constantly crying because of how much I love Alex and am grateful to her, careful to not slip on these tears ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
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-. When did they start to realize that they needed to break from the usual cycle as a reaper? Death is unbiased and just, and as such, it takes whomever it needs to take, without thought, without sentiment, because death is an entity that doesn’t work the way our minds and hearts do. Kaeden, though, has always had a difficult time truly incorporating this though. He was alone for most of his days and night, those he spends his time with are few, and they’re not usually people he’ll remember the name of - meaning, anyone he meets while he’s going somewhere. And being alone like this, usually even avoiding ‘company meetings’ because they simply bored them to death (<.< hehe <w<), meant that there was enough space for them to think, something not exactly asked of them, but we do see that reapers are, at the end of the day, still a lot more human than is credited to them. So they think, and they think about all the children they had to guide, and they think about all the victims they had to guide while their abusers lived on, often better lives, they think about how unfair it is that they can’t truly say goodbye, and will not ever get the justice they deserved in line. So they think, and these thoughts begin to fester, to the point where it’s only a matter of time until they’ll escalate into the decision he ends up making. And then one day, he’s meant to guide a child again. And the child is far too mature, far too composed, far too wise and solemn and not sad the same, for their age. And you know what this child does? They tell Kaeden ‘It’s okay’. Because somehow, even seconds after their death, they still had more love in their heart than anyone surrounding them, to the point where they’d rather comfort the reaper than ask them to do their job of comforting them. And that was kind of... the last straw.
-. How long has it been since they stopped guiding souls? SO, in the main timeline I usually pick for threads, it’s only been a handful of months, I can’t decide if we’ve passed the half a year mark already or not, but definitely not a full year yet. This is because I can’t quite imagine that a system as rigid as the one they belong to would let them get away with something like this for too long before he’ll be trailed and constantly intercepted by other reapers. I don’t think they can force them, but I can imagine some deity or another might end of untervening if it starts getting too ridiculous. So I don’t want the time-frame to be large enough to bring forth the question “Okay, but, why hasn’t anyone said anything yet?”. If that makes sense ==
-. Do they get symptoms of their past that they don't know it's part of their past (like Reaper with his chest stings, etc.)? SO I’VE BEEN mulling this one over since I first read it because it’s such a good question thank you so much; I’d actually forgotten about Reaper’s chest stings for a moment there, oh I am a sh am- and I’ve decided that YES, let them- Due to the nature of their curse, it would be difficult to choose a particular symptom for him to feel, since the curse was designed in a way that would make him experience constantly new ones, usually juxtaposing existing ones or substituting them, so that he may never find an adequate cure or sense of relief from them. In fact, they would usually find ways to perhaps be rid of an infection or pounding headaches, only to then be instantly afflicted by intense cold sweats or ache in his joints, find relief for those, and be affected by an inhibiting drowsyness or constant nausea, find a way around those, and get those headaches again and maybe the cold sweats, it was a cycle without pattern, designed by simply refusing to attribute a system to it, an actual cycle, so it would simply go on like this until his death. So, since there were no singular symptoms that could be considered more reoccuring or noteworthy than the others, I think that what would be carried over would be a very deep-rooted sense of exhaustion. Being ill is exhausting, your body is constantly trying to fight against whatever it is that is making you ill, so I can imagine that Kaeden will have moments where he will feel heavy, tired-out, not as if he hasn’t slept in a while, but as if no amount of sleep would enough to make this exhaustion go away.
-. Since they like neon lights, would they enjoy going to light parades? THEY DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They will absolutely always stop if they see one, that is one of those things he’ll go wildly out of his way for. He doesn’t usually look it up ahead of time, if there are anywhere at any given moment, but he does know where he’s more likely to find some, and then well, you’ll most likely find them memorising when they’ve last seen one taking place there and, they really, really like them, okay, best thing ever. IN FACT, here an extra fun fact: they really like parades in general, the like the flair, the confetti, the music, the artistry, the energy in the crowd and on the street, the craft behind, the good mood, the brightness of it all, huge fan of parades right here.
-. If they had the chance to know about their past with no repercussions whatsoever, would he take it? Yes and no, first no, then yes. I know that, if given such an opportunity, they would inevitably end up taking it. They wouldn’t be able to resist something like that, even if it may take a while until they do bite, they most definitely will, I can guarantee you this, in fact, I’ll tell you something else, they would even with repercussions. This would be an interesting thing to explore, actually, because if given such an opportunity, there wouldn’t be much he wouldn’t risk, especially about himself. He wouldn’t risk anyone he’s come to care for (he wouldn’t trade ANYTHING for Wilder and/or Saja, do not even suggest it to them, don’t) or the innocent, but if he was said “this in exchange for the rest of you”, he’d say yes. BUT that’s not what the question is about, lo siento. The answer is yes, inevitably, sooner or later. Initially, though, no. Because they’re scared mostly. They will say it’s because they don’t trust anything that comes without consequences, they’ll also say that they don’t really need to know, and both these things are true as well. He doesn’t trust, and he can exist without knowing, but it’s more about the fear of finding out what their sin is, who they were, and what he is. Once actually presented with this opportunity, though, it won’t get out of his head. And sooner or later, he’ll say yes.
#jeoseungsaja#the reaper;kaeden#okay went ahead and added the exhaustion to the about too >:3#THANK YOU SO HECKING MUCH FOR GIVING MY REAPER CHILD SO MUCH INTEREST AND LOVE AND#JUST THANK YOU SO MUCH? FOR CARING ABOUT KAEDEN AND FOR SENDING THESE IN AND THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH#THESE WERE SUPER COOL TO ANSWER AND I JUST???? THE INSIGHT INTO THE CHARACTER I GET THANKS TO THEM?#Alex World Domination WHEN#TODAY INSTANTLY I'M MAKING IT HAPPEN >:((((((((((((((((((((((((#i seriously can't thank you enough thank you ;AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA;#have smiley reaper bby too to express me ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;#;queue
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Bonus scene- The Machinations of the Son 8.5
So... those that have read my latest one shot will know that the end of it features a rather pissed off Togruta. I wanted to explore the fallout of her anger, as well as her emotions, however I couldn’t fit it in with the main one shots as they are exclusively from Anakin’s POV, and I doubt she’ll let him near him at the moment.
To that end I decided to create a little bonus scene instead that sort of bridges the gap between the two chapters, as it will also help explain something that happens next time as well.
Not only that but I thought it’d be another good opportunity to expand the Kaesoka aspect of the story for those fans. Either way I hope you like it.
Normally, the sight of Ahsoka Tano within her apartment was one that calmed Kaeden Larte down. The Togruta former Jedi had an aura about her that radiated calm and coolness to those around her. Just by seeing her you felt as if everything would be alright.
Well, at least Kaeden did. No doubt she was slightly biased towards Ahsoka and how she was viewed by those around her.
So naturally, when the Togruta in question came storming out of the doorway that led down into the basement where two variations of her former Jedi Master currently were, it was clear that something was wrong with her. Not only that, but her expression was downright murderous.
Kaeden watched as she strode through the assembled group of people, some of which called out to her in concern, but all were ignored. Instead, the Togruta woman moved swiftly and aggressively towards the hallway, before heavy thuds could be heard, signifying that she was storming off upstairs for some reason.
Kaeden might not have been Force sensitive, but even she knew when someone was hurting, or at least angry with someone. She had spent enough time around the Togruta to know when she was angry. Whatever had happened down in the basement had upset Ahsoka tremendously if she stormed out like that.
Without hesitation, Kaeden moved to follow. In her position as Ahsoka’s girlfriend, it fell to her to comfort her, not that Kaeden minded at all.
It didn’t take long for Kaeden to find where Ahsoka had come from. The sounds of aggravated and infuriated yells echoed from within their bedroom, a clear sign that something was wrong. Upon entry, Kaeden bore witness to a sight she had never seen before.
Ahsoka was beyond angry, a look of pure rage on her face as she picked up and threw one of her pillows at the wall with all her might. The soft impact it had did little to satiate Ahsoka’s anger however, resulting in the Togruta picking the pillow up and throwing it three more times before letting out another roar of frustration, slamming one of her hands onto the bed itself.
“Ahsoka? Are you alright?” Kaeden asked, already knowing the answer. The Togruta didn’t reply however instead storming off into the ensuite bathroom, grumbling under her breath. Kaeden was able to decipher a few of the words, but not much else. Something about ‘Anakin’ and ‘murder’.
Crossing the room herself, Kaeden barely managed to make it to the bathroom door before she heard the sound of glass shattering, along with a quiet yelp of pain.
Instinct kicked in and Kaeden moved as fast as she could, pulling Ahsoka into her arms, even as the Togruta fell to her knees, whimpering softly, barely concealing her tears. Kaeden didn’t spare much of a glance towards the now broken mirror. All her focus was on ascertaining and repairing Ahsoka’s wounds, both physical and mental.
Gently, Kaeden pried open Ahsoka’s balled up fist, and began to inspect for damage. Her knuckles were bright red, standing out even upon her orange skin, and several small cuts lined the surface of her skin from where she had punched the mirror in anger. Nothing was broken luckily, except maybe Ahsoka’s pride.
And the mirror.
Thankful that was the extent of the physical damage, Kaeden began to pull Ahsoka back to her feet, gently guiding her towards the bed, before laying down next to her on it, resting their foreheads together.
Whether on purpose or not, Ahsoka let this happen. Perhaps she was too busy trying in vain to contain the tears that were threatening to fall.
“It’s ok Ahsoka, your safe. You will always be safe.” Kaeden whispered to her softly, one hand grasping her uninjured hand tightly, the other resting against her side, pulling the Togruta into an embrace. Once again, Ahsoka let her.
“He said he’d of murdered me! Me! His own Padawan! And he would have killed me without blinking! I hate him Kaeden! I hate him so much!”
“What! He said that?” Kaeden replied as best she could, barely withholding her own anger at the situation. How dare he say such a thing! No one would touch a metaphorical hair on Ahsoka’s body if Kaeden had anything to say about it.
“I asked him the question. His lack of response is all the evidence I’ll ever need.” Ahsoka replied, a soft sob escaping her in the process. Kaeden could tell she was tormented by what she had discovered. He usually bright blue eyes that were full of hope and joy, as well as an element of mischievousness were dull and broken, haunted, as if threatening to break loose like some sort of dam.
“I’m so sorry Ahsoka. I know how much he meant to you, even after everything.”
The words offered little comfort, that Kaeden knew, but she really didn’t know what else to say. What could you say to someone who had just found out that the person they considered a father and brother in all but blood would have happily murdered them on the words of a tyrant?
Ahsoka said nothing in response, instead she closed both eyes, attempting to stop the tears that were now freely flowing down her cheeks.
Despite already being close, Kaeden pulled the Togruta closer, hoping to offer as much comfort as possible.
“He never cared. None of them did. In the end everyone either abandoned me, betrayed me or tried to kill me. Story of my life really. Perhaps I should have just disappeared to the unknown regions years ago, or been left on Shili to fade into obscurity.”
The despair and self loathing in Ahsoka’s tone hurt Kaeden. Did she really think that about herself?
“That’s not true Ahsoka. Rex cares about you, as does Maul in his own weird way. Kanan, Ezra, Hera, the twins, kriff even Chopper all care about you and would do anything to help you. Maybe the people of your past did push you aside, but you have a new family in all of us.” Kaeden whispered, nudging Ahsoka’s forehead with her own, causing the Togruta’s eyes to open.
“And what about you? Do you care about me, or is all this just lies as well? Will you cast me aside the second something better for you comes along?”
Kaeden knew that Ahsoka wasn’t being harsh towards her, even if the words could be taken that way. The Togruta was just in a very bad place.
“I do care for you Ahsoka, more than nearly anything. If I could have done I’d have taken you and Miara and run far away from the Empire after Raada. Unfortunately someone had to go and become a big badass rebel spymaster instead, so I didn’t get my chance. But that doesn’t change the fact that I would have done, and that I lo…”
Kaeden didn’t get the opportunity to finish her passionate reply, not as Ahsoka rolled forward and pushed Kaeden onto her back, lips coming to hers.
Kaeden allowed Ahsoka to kiss her for a few moments before pulling away, smiling up at the Togruta above her, who had a rather predatory look upon her face, one that Kaeden had grown very familiar with in recent years.
“I don’t think now's the best time for this Ahsoka.”
“Pffttt, spoilsport.” Was the reply Ahsoka gave, gently kissing Kaeden again before rolling off of her to lay back on her bed, now on her own back.
As tempting as it was for Kaeden to stay with Ahsoka, she knew she was needed elsewhere. Besides, they would have plenty of time together after this bizarre situation was resolved.
Shifting her limbs to push herself up, Kaeden spoke.
“Are you going to be ok now?”
Ahsoka nodded her head slowly at first, before turning her face to look at her, a hesitant smile crossing her lips.
“Yeah, I will be. I just need some time to think. Can you send Maul up to me please? I need to talk to him about something.”
“Sure. No problem Ahsoka. Anything for you.” Kaeden replied, leaning down to kiss her girlfriend one more time before rising from the bed and heading towards the door.
As she entered the threshold, Kaeden glanced back at Ahsoka, a rush of anger boiling in her veins.
She wasn’t angry at the Togruta, but rather the ones who had made her fall into this state.
Grinding her teeth in suppressed rage, Kaeden turned around and began to walk towards the stairs, a clear goal in mind.
First, she would speak to Maul.
Then, she was going to have a little word with with two specific individuals.
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