#JUST LEARN ABOUT LESBIAN HISTORY IM BEGGING YOU

[sanicsmut]

people : its important to be inclusive, yes even of identities you don't understand ! support he/him lesbians !

these same people when its about using multiples contradictory labels because identity is complicated and fluid : if you support this you're actually evil

[kermiekermie]

reminder that i could give less of a shit what labels someone uses. someone elses labels will NEVER and CANNOT "invalidate" or "harm" YOUR labels and YOUR identity. there are some labels that are harmful (likes "MAPs" and "zoos") but those are not harmful for the same reason as others.

if someone is using a label because they genuinely feel it describes their identity, then its none of my fucking business.

heres a rant about my personal stance on things like lesbian definition discourse, xenopronouns/genders, and things of that nature:

please, im begging some of you, go outside and talk to a queer person over the age of 25 and they can tell you about the history behind some of the terms that you guys go fucking feral over!!!!

i have a gay uncle in his 40s, and if i asked him or his husband about some of the things you guys act like are SUCH a THREAT to the queer community they wouldnt give a single shit!

the fact that we as queer people even have the privilege to be worried about things like microlabels and neopronouns and xenogenders and trans peoples labels is insane! we are so lucky that people feel safe enough to be openly queer!!! its not like that everywhere!!!

for me specifically the biggest offender of this is lesbian discourse. its def not as prominent as algorithms make it out to be but it gets on my NERVES!!! we dont need to make up new definitions OR police who is and isnt a lesbian because tbh? its their business, not yours. if someone says theyre a lesbian to me, then theyre a lesbian. im not reading deeper into what definition they use and their gender and how they present. it doesnt mean i have to be attracted to them or they have to be and look and identify a certain way, it just means they think the lesbian label fits them, and thats chill w me.

im also not gonna ask about the microbial sized details about their romantic and sexual labels. even if its doesnt make sense to me, it makes sense to them! and thats okay! saying something is invalid bc it doesnt make sense to YOU is using the same logic who are "against gay / trans people" because THEY dont understand. it doesnt MATTER if you understand or not, they are worthy of your respect unless they are directly harming people.

if someone who isnt ace or aro uses the split attraction model, i could give less of a shit! sure, i might not agree with it or support it ir even understand it, but im not gonna tell them to reevaluate their entire identity to find one that makes ME comfortable. labels are about YOU!

ive gone thru completely unnecessary crisises because some of yall dont know how to respect identities. ive hidden parts of my identity because they dont make sense to other people, ive stopped using microlabels because i dont want death threats, etc. im tired of it. we should all just learn to not give a shit and respect each other. discourse does nothing but tear this community apart, when its supposed to be all about supporting each other and being proud of knowing who you are.

im sooo fucking tired of this policing everybody's identitys bs just get over urselves

[dramaturgist]

yknow rereading percy jackson as someone older than i was when i first read it is really making me rethink my views on a lot of shit that happened in the series, especially rick’s writing.. like Yes kudos to rick for representation yay but he is very very far from perfect

1. he doesn’t do timelines or continuity of ANY sort he messes up his own backstories and changes things hes written about in the past if theyre convenient to him for whatever hes writing (like nicos age) 

2. his minority characters are often under-researched  sometimes it feels like his attempts at representation are just.. stereotypes which hes “remixed” and tried to repackage into a Funky And Fresh character to add diversity to the series or whatever. dont add minority characters for diversity, do it bc its mf realistic and not everyone is white and cishet

3. and the main characters are still... white  everyone always talks about how amazing the series is for representation and sure it is but the Good Guys and Heroes in the end are, in fact, straight white people. he barely focuses on the other characters’ plots and normally half-asses them unless theyre his own personal faves lmao  plus, he has a history of killing off female and poc characters for sake of “plot development” (silena, bianca, zoe, charles, ethan, so many more) PLUS plus is it just me or is drews characterisation really uncomfortable to read?? “bitchy asian girl” is such an overused trope at this point and it annoys me so much

4. he does things more for shock factor than actual plot LISTEN. LISTEN TO ME. i am SICK and TIRED of creators killing off their characters or adding random betrayal arcs of WHATEVER just for the shock factor that they’ll get out of doing it. its not funny or cool!! theres a difference between when a character dies out of plot requirement (say, luke dying out of sacrifice) and when a character dies for nothing but Oh Wow A Death Ahahah Classic Rick  yes this is about jason. yes i’m bitter. there was no reason he had to die but u know what. im gonna say it. better him than leo/piper 

5. there’s so much unneeded fanservice and for what percy and jasons rivalry is... its so...... homie do u really think that these two boys have egos fragile enough that theyre gonna go full chad and say this town aint big enough for the two of us??? neither of them has a single malicious bone in their body and there is NO REASON FOR THEM TO HAVE ANY CONFLICT. at all. just let them be friends i beg 

6. he does not know how to write teenagers,  more like he doesn’t know how to write characters who aren’t straight white teenagers but. i digress. anyway not a single teen in that book is in any shape or form realistic except perhaps the original pjo series? i feel like rick tends to brush off emotions when it comes to his characters EXTREMELY easily.. like in the more recent books, characters r sad for like one second and then everythings sunshine and rainbows again. (the lightning thief musical did a MUCH better job at showing teen emotions than the books, honestly.)  also reyna’s characterisation in the new book disgusts me... so much.... 

7. and he overcompensates. so much. rick. it is ok. you are a 40 year old straight white man. we understand u. u dont have to try and use cool hippie teen language. its ok. please chill out it is so unbearably cringey

8. he cannot acknowledge his own mistakes or learn from them fans have been yelling for YEARS about how a lot of things in his books are misrepresented/harmful but theres been complete silence on his part and i am. so irritated. also that shit hes trying to pull w reyna annoys me so much i cant believe he went to the extent of calling out people for having? headcanons? anyway reyna lesbian

i dont know how to end this so uh. thanks for reading if u made it this far 

[dadfashion]

so i wanted to make a blog to talk about this largely because i feel like i dont know many people who i feel comfortable talking through the entirety of it with yet. so. i started taking testosterone around a month or so before my 15th birthday, which i feel is too young for any child to start medically transitioning. however, I was even more vulnerable as i was dealing with (and still do) severe mental illness- I was fresh out of a stay in a psychiatric hospital for my first suicide attempt and was having very serious issues with anorexia. despite that, i and my parents were able to go through the "informed consent" process not requiring me to go through any therapy to get a prescription. and I can't blame my parents over it as they had a seriously unwell child and had no idea how to deal with it but wanted to do the best they possibly could. and it was obvious to both them and me that something in my life needed to change, and i think all of us thought that was the logical change.

i had come out and was very confident in my identity as a lesbian since i was in middle school, and had always begged to cut my hair and dress masculine. in high school, my mental health took a downward spiral and at the same time i began vocally asserting that i couldn't stand being seen as a woman, that i couldn't stand being called a woman, i couldn't stand being expected to look or act like a woman, and i couldn't stand my own body. and my parents are very kind, supportive types of people, and just wanted to do their best but just didn't know better having never experienced anything at all like this. despite the fact that all the adults in the room should have seen that this was not the right time to make that decision, the rhetoric from my doctor, saying "allowing trans kids to transition literally saves lives. would you rather have a living son or a dead daughter?" really impacted them.

so i took testosterone from age 15-18. i passed as male probably 85% of the time, if a very small "effeminate" looking male. (one of the first things i really hated about it was the constant assumption that i was a cis gay man because of my ""feminine"" voice patterns) but one of the first things i felt was this incredible liberation from the expectation to perform femininity every day that i didn't even know i experienced until it was gone. i (mostly) didn't get harassed on the streets anymore. my confidence in my appearance skyrocketed. but eventually, especially as i started working in restaurants, i got to know a lot more adult men and (usually) be treated as one. and i realized i didn't think that was the life i wanted for myself.

but what i hated the most was how my relationships with other women had changed. there was suddenly a distance there that while i absolutely understand, kind of killed me. it was an impact so significant that i had never once considered because i was literally a young teen when i decided to transition. the sudden lack of love and solidarity from other women was an incredible absence in my life. but it really wasn't until finally hearing the stories of butch lesbians across history and talking with them that i actually realized i was allowed to be a woman looking like i do. yknow, that i didn't have to be a man to experience that sense of liberation. because i realize that i really didn't want to be a man, i was just struggling and young and didnt know what else to do. because i had never seen any other narratives! i had never met adult butch women! at the same time, i began to truly realize the implications of long-term use of an extremely powerful hormone that we literally do not know the impacts of. like it really disturbed me to ask my doctor questions like "hey so what is happening or will happen to my internal organs or my fertility or my or my brain chemistry" and have her say not a single person actually knows for sure! it really shocks me to this day. so i eventually couldn't bring myself to do the shots anymore, and have been off t for around a year.

my voice has gotten a little higher, my face is slightly more feminine, and i have extremely irregular periods that i have been working on accepting as a natural function of my body. i still have dysphoria, for a variety of reasons. but while i get called "she" maybe 50% of the time now (which i really don't know how to feel about yet) i haven't changed a single thing really about my appearance otherwise. but i think how i carry myself is different and i think it feels a lot better. i still don't really know what to call myself when people ask me about my gender (even though "none of ya business" is like a totally good response) depending on the space i usually call myself butch or transmasculine. i know that i love women, and i'm beginning to experience the deep connection that i missed again. idk though even though as i first began questioning if i was truly a man i was really upset because "i thought i already had that shit figured out" i now am much less focused on finding one specific word for my experience than like, working on being healthy and building relationships with people who love me. im learning to live with the ambiguity in being a butch lesbian struggling with being called a woman. so i didn't expect this to be that long but thanks for reading i hope someone can see their some of their experience reflected and take some comfort in that, because i know other people have definitely had that impact on me.

[whenismuna]

1-50 :)

:)

1. What are your nicknames? What do you prefer to be called? mostly just steph/stoof. prefer to be called Big Lesbian.

2. What books on your shelf are begging to be read? my bee book, my shark book, my rachel carson biography and my women in science history book :)

3. How often do you doodle? What do your doodles look like? like...never

4. What do you do if you can’t sleep at night? Do you count sheep? Toss and Turn? Try to get up and do something productive? i just make up a scenario and think lol

5. How many days could you last in solitary confinement? How would you do it? i literally never leave my house unless im going to class so i think i could last pretty long

6. Do you save old greeting cards and letters? Throw them away? depends

7. Who is the biggest pack rat you know? michelle

8. When making an entrance in to a party, do you make your presence known? Do you slip in and look for someone you know? Do you sneak in quietly and find a safe spot to roost? usually make it unknown unless i know everyone

9. What is your strongest sense? If you had to give one up, which would it be? probably smell or hearing and id give up the sense of abandonment that i feel from everyone ive ever interacted with

10. How many times a day do you look at yourself in the mirror? if front camera counts too, then a lot

11. What is the strangest thing you believed as a child? i used to think that india was a continent on its own? i had literally zero reasoning i just always thought it was

12. What is one guilty pleasure you enjoy too much to give up? my sweet baby boys :)

13. Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know? idk??? i mean its not like a competition yknow?

14. How often do you read the newspaper? Which paper? Which sections? never

15. Which animals scare you most? Why? none? like actually zero animals intimidate me because i know that if they could kill me, like they dont have morals so theyre just doing what they know idk

16. Are you more likely to avoid conflict or engage it head-on? i will do literally anything to avoid a conflict

17. What was the most recent compliment you’ve received and savoured? the other day like 3 people complimented my bernie pin on my jacket? 

18. What is something about yourself that you hope will change, but probably never will? everything :-)

19. Are you a creature of habit? Explain. if i have a habit of doing something, i will do everything in my power to not break it

20. Are you high maintenance? Explain. i constantly want to talk to people but will also ignore everyone. im sorry.

21. When was the last time you really pushed yourself to your physical limits? every time i walk up the fucking stairs

22. Do you have a whole lot of acquaintances or just a few very close friends? Why? very few close friends bc im anxious and in middle/high school everyone hated me

23. Are you more inclined to “build your own empire” or unleash the potential of others? wtf?

24. What’s a strange occurrence you’ve experienced but have never (or rarely) shared with anyone? shai and i are convinced we saw a ghost once in a hospital. it was wild

25. What do you think about more than anything else? that one insta pic :) such a happy boy

26. What’s something that amazes you? that one insta pic :) such a happy boy

27. Do you prefer that people shoot straight with you or temper their words? Why? i mean like you should definitely be honest, but dont be rude yknow? im sensitive 

28. Where’s your favourite place to take an out-of-town guest? it used to be cats closet and sammy t’s but theyre both closed :’( so now its the river probably

29. What’s one thing you’d rather pay someone to do than do yourself? Why? idk

30. Do you have a catchphrase? nah

31. What’s your reaction towards people who are outspoken about their beliefs? What conditions cause you to dislike or, conversely, enjoy talking with them? i think its important to talk about what you believe in especially when people disagree with you because you can learn different viewpoints and where people are coming from. the point where i dislike someone is when their beliefs infringe on other peoples existence/human rights

32. How and where do you prefer to study? i dont know how to study :)

33. What position do you sleep in? one leg bent and the other on the other side of the country and on my tummy

34. What’s your all-time favourite town or city? Why? prague :0

35. What are the top three qualities that draw you to someone new? girl, tall is always a plus, ya gotta be funny boi

36. How has your birth order/characteristics of siblings affected you? well having two older brothers and being the only girl made me have thicker skin so theres that, but my parents also have higer expectations of me bc the boys fucked up constantly and im nothing like them (apparently)

37. If you could eliminate one weakness or limitation in your life, what would it be? id fix my GOTDAM knee! i wanna be able to workout without limitations!!!!!!!!!!!

38. If you could restore one broken relationship, which would it be? oh lord -_-

39. If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to? idk probably like sarah? ive always liked that name

40. Do you believe ignorance is bliss? Why or why not? it depends...

41. What do you consider unforgivable? a lot. i dont forgive easily tbh

42. Have you forgiven yourself for past personal failures? Why or why not? depends on what it is. mostly no

43. How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize? again, i will not forgive people. like if youre my friend and you fuck up badly, ill still be your friend but ill never forgive you or forget what what you did, believe me. i hold strong grudges.

44.Do you hold any convictions that you would be willing to die for? i will die for a single grain of rice.

45. To what extent do you trust people? Explain. i like to trust people but others in the past have made it hard for me to do that to people in the future :-)

46. In what area of your life are you immature? all

47. What was the best news you ever received? when i found out i was going to see michelle in japan last year :D

48. How difficult is it for you to be honest, even when your words may be hurtful or unpopular? if my words are hurtful i wont say it, but if theyre unpopular i literally dont care

49. When did you immediately click with someone you just met? Why? What was the long term result? Conversely, are you close with anyone now that you really disliked at first? on tuesday but thats whatever i guess... we talked twice and now we dont anymore but its,,, whatever..,, i dont think im friends with people i didnt like at first

50. When do you find yourself singing? when im driving or home alone.