#JUST LEARN ABOUT LESBIAN HISTORY IM BEGGING YOU

[sanicsmut]

people : its important to be inclusive, yes even of identities you don't understand ! support he/him lesbians !

these same people when its about using multiples contradictory labels because identity is complicated and fluid : if you support this you're actually evil

[gnometa233]

Let's break this down, shall we?

LGBTQ+ is a grand total of 6 syllables and takes less that 3 seconds to say. I know people who's full names are longer than that. It's not a mouthful, and your excuse is lazy and unoriginal. I've heard that plenty from people like you, and frankly, that needs to be put away. And either way, any variation practically includes everyone else, though I stick with that one because it is fully inclusive. If I need to be more specific about a group's problems, I'll just say the sexuality/gender.

It isn't my problem if some people are bad actors and change q to questioning or things like that. Bad actors are always going to exist, and it should be correct to call them out. I could argue that people do the exact same thing with queer. What defines queer? Y'all don't even know! I've seen that word exclude trans people (aka "queer + trans") and include cisgender heterosexual and heteromantic men who paint their nails (under the definition of queering gender roles). I've seen that include straight polyamerous people and exclude cisgender gay people on occasion because polyamerous people are "strange too" and cis gays are "assimilationist". So if you want to argue this, then we're both wrong

It's very easy to include who is and isn't included. It's people who are not solely heterosexual + heteromantic, and people who are not solely cisgender. There you go. Obviously there will be people excluded who absolutely can be affected by said politics within the group (intersex people of all genders and sexualities have had a long history within the community, the kink community has a huge overlap, etc.) But these people are not inherently lgbtq+. Tada! If you wanna talk about issues that affect multiple groups, just say the groups. Again, it's not that hard to type/say a few extra words.

Queer is not all inclusive. It doesn't include people who don't identify with a word. But going back to referring to the term, queer is also too inclusive to the point where it erases other shared experiences. As much as y'all like to fight about it, there are fundamental differences between the groups. If I tell someone that I'm queer, it means nothing. It could mean I'm a closeted trans person, it could mean I'm nonbinary, it could mean I'm a straight woman who pegs her boyfriend. It means everything and nothing. If you like that, that is okay. But this is incredibly problematic for identities that do get easily erased, like lesbians. Notice how everything regarding them is "queer women" even if said thing only refers to lesbians? Or just bi women, even. It's not helpful.

IM BEGGING YOU PEOPLE TO LEARN WHAT A SLUR VS AN INSULT IS. Gay is an insult. Autistic is an insult. Jew is an insult. That doesn't make any of these slurs These are all identities and neutral words that are used as insults by bigots.

Queer is a slur. The R word is a slur. K*** is a slur. These words are inherently derogatory regardless of reclamation. If YOU want to reclaim it, by all means. But don't be surprised when you call someone those words and they call you an asshole. They're Derogatory words that were created for putting people down because of attributes they couldn't help.

"Queer is the word we have settled on" who is we? Did you talk to every single member of the community? Both past and present? Because I assure you that is not the case. I've met so many people, both old and young, of all identities, who do not reclaim queer. They still respect the ones who do. A community CANNOT inherently reclaim a slur for everyone, because reclamation is an individual process. You know what we call someone who forces someone else to reclaim a slur?

An asshole.

You can say that queer includes me until you're blue in the face. No, it does not. I will not align myself with people who are chomping at the bit for me to be associated with a slur. I will not align myself with people who think that gay people are assimilationists for wanting to settle down and make a happy life. I will not align myself with people who think me rejecting a slur is as bad as cis women wanting all trans women to die.

I am a lesbian. I am in the lgbtq+ community.

It seems like you're the one who isn't seeing a practical element. Leave people who don't identify as queer alone. Your emotional support slur isn't more important than other people's trauma and discomfort.

hot take but I think the "we're only talking about people who identify as queer when we talk about the queer community" thing was and is one of the worst arguments in defense of the word.

I am talking about you when I say "the queer community", and "queer people", and "queer studies". I'm describing a thing that a large group of people have in common, and you share that thing in common. Your individual comfort with the word doesn't change the definition of it.

I'm sorry you don't like that word. You don't ever have to call yourself that, and you don't have to like it, and I won't ever call you that if you don't want me to.

What I am going to do, however, is decide what language I use based on A) how inclusive it is, and B) how well it communicates my point to the relevant audience.

"Inclusive" here is an important criteria; this refers to the number of people who should be included, that are included, ideally without some kind of weird hierarchy (like we see in "LGBT+" and variations). The technical definition is what we're talking about here- putting personal comfort aside, could the word "queer" describe you?

There will always be someone who doesn't like a particular word for themselves- even if it could apply. Lots of people don't like "LGBT+" (I don't really), even if it technically applies to them. You're not more important than they are.

You can identify one way on a personal level, and still understand that when we're discussing the larger community of people and the histories attached to it, you're included in that- even if you don't personally identify with the specific word we're using. Your story, your voice, and your presence matters.

Y'all need to learn to distinguish "broad term for an experience I share with others" from "personal identity label I use to describe my individual experience to others". ASAP.

[kermiekermie]

reminder that i could give less of a shit what labels someone uses. someone elses labels will NEVER and CANNOT "invalidate" or "harm" YOUR labels and YOUR identity. there are some labels that are harmful (likes "MAPs" and "zoos") but those are not harmful for the same reason as others.

if someone is using a label because they genuinely feel it describes their identity, then its none of my fucking business.

heres a rant about my personal stance on things like lesbian definition discourse, xenopronouns/genders, and things of that nature:

please, im begging some of you, go outside and talk to a queer person over the age of 25 and they can tell you about the history behind some of the terms that you guys go fucking feral over!!!!

i have a gay uncle in his 40s, and if i asked him or his husband about some of the things you guys act like are SUCH a THREAT to the queer community they wouldnt give a single shit!

the fact that we as queer people even have the privilege to be worried about things like microlabels and neopronouns and xenogenders and trans peoples labels is insane! we are so lucky that people feel safe enough to be openly queer!!! its not like that everywhere!!!

for me specifically the biggest offender of this is lesbian discourse. its def not as prominent as algorithms make it out to be but it gets on my NERVES!!! we dont need to make up new definitions OR police who is and isnt a lesbian because tbh? its their business, not yours. if someone says theyre a lesbian to me, then theyre a lesbian. im not reading deeper into what definition they use and their gender and how they present. it doesnt mean i have to be attracted to them or they have to be and look and identify a certain way, it just means they think the lesbian label fits them, and thats chill w me.

im also not gonna ask about the microbial sized details about their romantic and sexual labels. even if its doesnt make sense to me, it makes sense to them! and thats okay! saying something is invalid bc it doesnt make sense to YOU is using the same logic who are "against gay / trans people" because THEY dont understand. it doesnt MATTER if you understand or not, they are worthy of your respect unless they are directly harming people.

if someone who isnt ace or aro uses the split attraction model, i could give less of a shit! sure, i might not agree with it or support it ir even understand it, but im not gonna tell them to reevaluate their entire identity to find one that makes ME comfortable. labels are about YOU!

ive gone thru completely unnecessary crisises because some of yall dont know how to respect identities. ive hidden parts of my identity because they dont make sense to other people, ive stopped using microlabels because i dont want death threats, etc. im tired of it. we should all just learn to not give a shit and respect each other. discourse does nothing but tear this community apart, when its supposed to be all about supporting each other and being proud of knowing who you are.

im sooo fucking tired of this policing everybody's identitys bs just get over urselves

[dramaturgist]

yknow rereading percy jackson as someone older than i was when i first read it is really making me rethink my views on a lot of shit that happened in the series, especially rick’s writing.. like Yes kudos to rick for representation yay but he is very very far from perfect

1. he doesn’t do timelines or continuity of ANY sort he messes up his own backstories and changes things hes written about in the past if theyre convenient to him for whatever hes writing (like nicos age) 

2. his minority characters are often under-researched  sometimes it feels like his attempts at representation are just.. stereotypes which hes “remixed” and tried to repackage into a Funky And Fresh character to add diversity to the series or whatever. dont add minority characters for diversity, do it bc its mf realistic and not everyone is white and cishet

3. and the main characters are still... white  everyone always talks about how amazing the series is for representation and sure it is but the Good Guys and Heroes in the end are, in fact, straight white people. he barely focuses on the other characters’ plots and normally half-asses them unless theyre his own personal faves lmao  plus, he has a history of killing off female and poc characters for sake of “plot development” (silena, bianca, zoe, charles, ethan, so many more) PLUS plus is it just me or is drews characterisation really uncomfortable to read?? “bitchy asian girl” is such an overused trope at this point and it annoys me so much

4. he does things more for shock factor than actual plot LISTEN. LISTEN TO ME. i am SICK and TIRED of creators killing off their characters or adding random betrayal arcs of WHATEVER just for the shock factor that they’ll get out of doing it. its not funny or cool!! theres a difference between when a character dies out of plot requirement (say, luke dying out of sacrifice) and when a character dies for nothing but Oh Wow A Death Ahahah Classic Rick  yes this is about jason. yes i’m bitter. there was no reason he had to die but u know what. im gonna say it. better him than leo/piper 

5. there’s so much unneeded fanservice and for what percy and jasons rivalry is... its so...... homie do u really think that these two boys have egos fragile enough that theyre gonna go full chad and say this town aint big enough for the two of us??? neither of them has a single malicious bone in their body and there is NO REASON FOR THEM TO HAVE ANY CONFLICT. at all. just let them be friends i beg 

6. he does not know how to write teenagers,  more like he doesn’t know how to write characters who aren’t straight white teenagers but. i digress. anyway not a single teen in that book is in any shape or form realistic except perhaps the original pjo series? i feel like rick tends to brush off emotions when it comes to his characters EXTREMELY easily.. like in the more recent books, characters r sad for like one second and then everythings sunshine and rainbows again. (the lightning thief musical did a MUCH better job at showing teen emotions than the books, honestly.)  also reyna’s characterisation in the new book disgusts me... so much.... 

7. and he overcompensates. so much. rick. it is ok. you are a 40 year old straight white man. we understand u. u dont have to try and use cool hippie teen language. its ok. please chill out it is so unbearably cringey

8. he cannot acknowledge his own mistakes or learn from them fans have been yelling for YEARS about how a lot of things in his books are misrepresented/harmful but theres been complete silence on his part and i am. so irritated. also that shit hes trying to pull w reyna annoys me so much i cant believe he went to the extent of calling out people for having? headcanons? anyway reyna lesbian

i dont know how to end this so uh. thanks for reading if u made it this far 

[iamfarfromvibingrightnow]

Thanks for the tag @arcturion-the-joke (sorry i took ages to respond im on tumblr at ungodly hours so i kept saying id do it in the morning and then forgetting)

1. Three Ships: I feel like im exposing myself by saying these even though theyre already all over my blog. but now i must narrow it down to three oh dear.

ok i have never hid my love for macdennis aka the greatest will-they-wont-they in sitcom history.

i mean

LOOK AT THEM

ok moving on ive recently reentered my rilaya era, depsite my uhhhh conflicted opinions on the actual show to say the least. but ye the queercoding with these two is insane and platonic or romantic these two were wholeass soulmates

theyre lesbians harold

and of course the ship that is built into the foundations of this blog in fact one half of them is my icon

flarrie my beloved. invented enemied to lovers. still mad netflix cancelled their show.

2. First Ever Ship: I believe my first ever ship was Pricefield, which i now have mixed opinions on but i think i still like it for the most part

3. Last Song: Sick of Losing Soulmates by Dodie (which may or may not have been while i was listening to my rilaya playlist) <33333

4. Last Film: uhhhhhhh i think it was the first Now You See Me, a franchise im unhealthily obsessed with. i was talking about it the other day to someone and they go "is it about like magicians?" its so much more than that its a found family of neurodivergent magicians performing an anti capitalist heist and learning to trust others as a result. i tell you the breakdancing i did when i heard about the third movie announcement

5. Currently Reading: im on my millionth solitaire reread. im struggling to find stuff i actually like. gimme recs please i beg

6. Currently Watching: im on an always sunny rewatch. ive also finally started the podcast. best decision of my life

7. Currently Consuming: what. (checking if this means eating or something else entirely) ok its just food. have you ever cut a block of cheese into cuboids, wrapped them in ham and put them in the microwave? you should. i just did

8. Currently Craving: lasagna. the cheese ham thing is how i cope with lasagna cravings, which i deal with way more than i would like to admit.

9. Favorite Childhood Book: there was this book series i dont remember the name or author of (help pls if you can) i used to read as a child about this little boy and his teddy bear/imaginary friend. i remember the last one being about his teddy bear giving him permission to grow up and let him go and honestly it was beautiful and a big part of my growing up so yeah.

ok imma tag @ferawrri @cosmicyam @bealblath @bluewallowner @narcissusbrokenmirror @thatoneuniverse @gryffindorcompaniononpigfarts @funfeons

9 people you’d like to know better

I was tagged by @rose-n-gunses for this one— thank you, dear heart!

1. Three Ships: Hellcheer, who inspired me to write again. Mulder and Scully, one of the OG ships for 90’s younguns. And most recently, Jessica Fletcher and Doc Hazlitt. 😜

2. First Ever Ship: Dicey Tillerman and Jeff Greene (I will give a thousand Losty-points to anyone who knows who they are)

3. Last Song: Circumstances, by Rush

4. Last Film: does Rifftrax count? I watched the Rifftrax version of “Birdemic: Shock and Terror” yesterday. God it was awful.

5. Currently Reading: just been slowly making my way through all the fics on my Marked for Later list… currently ridiculously slowly reading to get my soul known again by @staceymcgillicuddy

6. Currently Watching: way too much Murder, She Wrote. It seems to be one of the few things my still-covid-addled brain can focus on.

7. Currently Consuming: a large mug of citrus mint green tea

8. Currently Craving: spicy tuna sushi

And I’m adding a bonus Losty question because I felt like there should be 9 questions lmao

9. Favorite Childhood Book: Maniac Magee by Jerry Spinelli

Absolutely no pressure with these tags (but if you do play, please make a new post instead of reblogging this one!!!)

@roxymorondraws @renaroo123 @tnmdfhgkg @khaleesa @danafoss @sare--k @pipergirl17 @paladinmoony @sasusc

[dadfashion]

so i wanted to make a blog to talk about this largely because i feel like i dont know many people who i feel comfortable talking through the entirety of it with yet. so. i started taking testosterone around a month or so before my 15th birthday, which i feel is too young for any child to start medically transitioning. however, I was even more vulnerable as i was dealing with (and still do) severe mental illness- I was fresh out of a stay in a psychiatric hospital for my first suicide attempt and was having very serious issues with anorexia. despite that, i and my parents were able to go through the "informed consent" process not requiring me to go through any therapy to get a prescription. and I can't blame my parents over it as they had a seriously unwell child and had no idea how to deal with it but wanted to do the best they possibly could. and it was obvious to both them and me that something in my life needed to change, and i think all of us thought that was the logical change.

i had come out and was very confident in my identity as a lesbian since i was in middle school, and had always begged to cut my hair and dress masculine. in high school, my mental health took a downward spiral and at the same time i began vocally asserting that i couldn't stand being seen as a woman, that i couldn't stand being called a woman, i couldn't stand being expected to look or act like a woman, and i couldn't stand my own body. and my parents are very kind, supportive types of people, and just wanted to do their best but just didn't know better having never experienced anything at all like this. despite the fact that all the adults in the room should have seen that this was not the right time to make that decision, the rhetoric from my doctor, saying "allowing trans kids to transition literally saves lives. would you rather have a living son or a dead daughter?" really impacted them.

so i took testosterone from age 15-18. i passed as male probably 85% of the time, if a very small "effeminate" looking male. (one of the first things i really hated about it was the constant assumption that i was a cis gay man because of my ""feminine"" voice patterns) but one of the first things i felt was this incredible liberation from the expectation to perform femininity every day that i didn't even know i experienced until it was gone. i (mostly) didn't get harassed on the streets anymore. my confidence in my appearance skyrocketed. but eventually, especially as i started working in restaurants, i got to know a lot more adult men and (usually) be treated as one. and i realized i didn't think that was the life i wanted for myself.

but what i hated the most was how my relationships with other women had changed. there was suddenly a distance there that while i absolutely understand, kind of killed me. it was an impact so significant that i had never once considered because i was literally a young teen when i decided to transition. the sudden lack of love and solidarity from other women was an incredible absence in my life. but it really wasn't until finally hearing the stories of butch lesbians across history and talking with them that i actually realized i was allowed to be a woman looking like i do. yknow, that i didn't have to be a man to experience that sense of liberation. because i realize that i really didn't want to be a man, i was just struggling and young and didnt know what else to do. because i had never seen any other narratives! i had never met adult butch women! at the same time, i began to truly realize the implications of long-term use of an extremely powerful hormone that we literally do not know the impacts of. like it really disturbed me to ask my doctor questions like "hey so what is happening or will happen to my internal organs or my fertility or my or my brain chemistry" and have her say not a single person actually knows for sure! it really shocks me to this day. so i eventually couldn't bring myself to do the shots anymore, and have been off t for around a year.

my voice has gotten a little higher, my face is slightly more feminine, and i have extremely irregular periods that i have been working on accepting as a natural function of my body. i still have dysphoria, for a variety of reasons. but while i get called "she" maybe 50% of the time now (which i really don't know how to feel about yet) i haven't changed a single thing really about my appearance otherwise. but i think how i carry myself is different and i think it feels a lot better. i still don't really know what to call myself when people ask me about my gender (even though "none of ya business" is like a totally good response) depending on the space i usually call myself butch or transmasculine. i know that i love women, and i'm beginning to experience the deep connection that i missed again. idk though even though as i first began questioning if i was truly a man i was really upset because "i thought i already had that shit figured out" i now am much less focused on finding one specific word for my experience than like, working on being healthy and building relationships with people who love me. im learning to live with the ambiguity in being a butch lesbian struggling with being called a woman. so i didn't expect this to be that long but thanks for reading i hope someone can see their some of their experience reflected and take some comfort in that, because i know other people have definitely had that impact on me.