#JONNY SIMS IF YOU CAN HEAR ME

[badboi-goodheart]

i hate this goddamned website because i just saw so many TMA posts and if i don’t consume the entirety of all information about it RIGHT NOW IM GONNA START PHYSICALLY CONVULSING

kinda like a demon being exorcised but the demon is just a re-awakening hyperfixation

[thesiltverses]

Hello! I found the silt verses about three weeks ago and have listened to it several times since. I have a few things to say.

I absolutely adore that episode about the national grid workers. I think it’s my favorite episode of any podcast I’ve ever listened to. My favorite part of that first episode Paige is in is how she justifies not standing up for Vaughn, that cognitive dissonance that you wrote so well. This episode gives me what I wanted from that episode, the workers all banding together to stop the wasteful sacrifice of one of them. The actor who played the foreman did an incredible job as well. I think that having him discuss which of his workers he would sacrifice was such a significant moment, despite how brief it is. It cuts right to the big question that I took away from the podcast which is, “How much is someone willing to sacrifice in order to maintain their comfort?” And the utter disrespect of Glodditch (apologies for the spelling) refusing to cancel even the radio but asking grid workers to kill themselves for 200kw/h! Top tier episode.

I grew up in the south and went to college in Appalachia. I saw the disparity in technology and “advancement” if that makes sense that poverty brings, and the way you set up the world invokes that feeling in me again. You are an amazing world builder and storyteller.

I really enjoyed the cameos - I’m a big fan of malevolent/devisor, Old gods of Appalachia, and all of Jonny sims work, so hearing familiar voices was an absolute delight. Harlan Guthrie as an acolyte of the snuff gods might have been a bit too on the nose with some of the things that man writes, though… /pos

I’m transmasculine, and something that I really appreciate is how you manage to make a trans man do some objectively awful things, but still manage to make him a complex, full character that I was rooting for very frequently. Brother Faulkner is so, so important to me as a character. Paula Vogel has a play called “Indecent,” which is about the true story of a troupe of I believe German Jewish actors between the years of 1910ish and 1940s putting on a show called “God of Vengeance” by Sholem Asch, also a Jewish man. “God of Vengeance” has queer themes and received a lot of criticism from the Jewish community for showing Jewish folks in a “bad” light at a time when there was already so much hatred for Jewish people. Brother Faulkner being as complex and, in my opinion, malicious and cutthroat as he is at a time when trans people face so much bigotry, especially legislatively in the United States, brings this conversation about “God of Vengeance” up again for me. I also love how normalized non-binary people are in this world, without question. “Sibling this or that,” the hunter, adjudicator Shrew - big thanks from me for all of this.

All of this to say, I love this podcast. Can you talk more about the rhetorical gods? Is Babble one? What makes them one if they are, or why aren’t they? I’m fascinated by them. Can you talk more about the propaganda gods too?

Thank you so much for the thoughtful and kind words!

I'll check out Indecent, it sounds really interesting and I'm very glad to hear Faulkner works for you as a character. I think the topic of how to include and write queer characters who are capable of terrible things and thoughts (because, after all, these characters are human beings and not tutelary exemplars), within the context of both a rising movement of transphobia right now and centuries-old scapegoating / pathologising portrayals more generally, is a really knotty but a really important one, and I always want to make sure I'm approaching it with care and due responsibility as well as a sense of humility around the limitations of what, as a cis writer, I can actually achieve.

To that end, I don't want to ever take the audience response for granted, but I'm always really grateful to hear that the portrayal is working for a listener!

Propaganda gods: gods whose prayer-marks or ritual verses are fed directly to the enemy, enforcing destructive or sabotaging changes to reality (so rather than sending a destructive saint or angel to rampage over the foe, you might drop pamphlets or send radio messages to the enemy to 'convert' them).

Rhetorical gods: gods whose followers possess reality-warping powers of language itself (which is why 'rhetorical god' is a polite way of saying 'liar's god'). In other words, the paranoia around them comes partly down to the fact that a disciple like Val may appear to be a limitless shaper of new forms, rather than shaped into a limited form of their own, as a result of their worship.

[disappointingcabbage]

TMAGP 22 thoughts, spoilers under the cut

Lena what the fuck why is your reaction to Gwen almost getting killed “ok but why didn’t you get their contact info”

Also I love that she referred to [ERROR] as the “watching figure” like I know the transcript last week initially called them Archivist but it’s nice to have confirmation that wasn’t immediately backtracked on lmao

I don’t know how to feel about Gwen getting demoted for this one, I think she did the right thing when she ran away, and that’s what Lena seems upset about. However, the real reason she should be getting demoted is the classism and condescension that pissed off ink5oul in the first place tbh.

Also I’m sure Gwen retaining her title in order to not look bad on the inspection totally won’t force her to have to go back to actually talking to externals ever /s

Also, Mrs. Kelley? She’s MARRIED? She’s either Elias-style repeatedly divorced or her partner is equally cold and autistic there is no other option

ooh Augustus time

Shejdjrjdiejdi Hans Berger is such a name teehee hamburger

Oh no, they’re experimenting on dogs :(

and people

is this a case of Hans going “hey dude your recipe’s fucked up” *proceeds to describe how exactly he did not follow the instructions* because it sure sounds like it.

Unless I’m misinterpreting and the instructions he received from the guy he’s corresponding with said to do the silver replacement thing bc I thought he got the silver idea from someone else

Okay now he’s using methods from ANOTHER guy. Dude how in the fuck are you blaming Richard for this?

Okay now he’s just pulling a new technique out of his ass. Of course your findings were weird, you didn’t use Richard’s technique, just something very vaguely similar

Bro’s really trying to create Jekyll and Hyde right now. Has he not read the book? Shouldn’t he know how terrible of an idea that is???

Ah yes, the standard 1920s activity of insulting your wife’s work speed while she’s working with a completely new configuration of equipment. Prick.

Also love the fact that the Hyde part of this dude can only communicate through Hans’s equipment

“Can you hear it?” Jesus Ursula that’s literally the most ominous thing you could say right now

Of course Hans assumes that she’s talking about the obvious equipment noise

Oh shit, Doctor Malpractice over here gave this poor dude a grand mal seizure

oh no this poor dude HANS YOU MADE HIS BRAIN MALFORMATION BURST WHAT THE FUCK YOU KILLED HIM

…are we ever gonna find out what Ursula was hearing?

you didn’t think to look over your data until weeks after the fact? are you shitting me? the data wasn’t even part of the investigation into this poor dude’s death?

Oh she was hearing exactly what this guy was saying via the telegraph. That’s really fucking cool, actually.

Well, Jesus. The second consciousness was not having a good time, apparently.

Oh this is the same night as the last episode

Sam catching onto Alice deleting his files immediately is peak comedy

Obviously he’s pissed about this

“You just want to control me again” oh that’s why they broke up

“That if I showed you the ropes we could” YOU COULD WHAT ALICE

ooh Celia has Magnus info?

JONATHAN SIMS AND MARTIN BLACKWOOD??????

FUCK YOU JONNY AND ALEX YOU CANT JUST END THE EPISODE THERE

[shootingstars-or-airplanes]

Woke up late today so I'm live-blogging the episode today. Right off the fucking bat, this title has me so concerned

(spoilers under the cut)

Sam you sweet summer child even Lena is telling you to stop with that fucking response paperwork. PLEASE RUN!

CHESTER!!!!! <3

Ok so I have audio processing issues so I usually have to listen a couple times or read the transcript to fully get all the case info, so this next bit might be disjointed

This case is somehow so Flesh-coded while having nothing to do with flesh

The fucked up desires theory is strong with this one

For some reason the use of "her" to refer to this thing makes my skin crawl

Stage 2 is reminding me of Putting Down Roots (which is my absolute favorite case/statement from either series)

The line "last night I watched my stomach unzip" is so fucking good

Oh fuck so like this bitch knows she's replacing herself... Damn...

Yeah ok some of this shit is hitting too close to home

THE BOYS THE BOYS THE BOYS THE BOYS

I JUST CHOKED ON MY SODA

Basira?????? Helen????????

Also Celia quit lying!

WAIT THERE'S STILL 10 MINUTES LEFT?? (give or take ads)

Gwenny no! Gwenny baby! (Fuck when did I start liking Gwen?)

I can hear the distant screams of all the dyhard shippers

Alice still deep in the "capitalism is the real monster" mindset and honestly, she is so real for that

IM SORRY GWEN DID YOU SAY EYES?????

Alex Newall and Jonny Sims are Pavlov. I am the fucking dog.

Yeah ok wow as a writer, ending on "I don't know" is so satisfying. But as a listener YOU MOTHERFU-

Waiting for the credits to see which one of them I can blame for my emotional distress and it's neither of them??? (I'm assuming that was the writer of the case and Alex and Jonny wrote the OIAR stuff as part of the "additional materials" but now who am I supposed to scream into the void about????)

[thatpodcastkid]

Magnus Archives Relisten 7, MAG 7 The Piper, Spoiler-Free Version

This is a spoiler-free analysis of Magnus Archives MAG 7, The Piper. One of the best-written episodes in the series. Pure poetry.

Facts: Statement of Seargent Clarence Berry regarding his time serving with Wilfred Owen during World War One. Statement given November 6, 1922.

Statement Notes: "Hey you know Wilfred Owen? The famous poet Wilfred Owen? The guy whose poems you had to read in class Wilfred Owen? Yeah, what if he was possessed? Wouldn't that be fucked?" -Jonny Sims at the Rusty Quill pitch meeting.

In all seriousness, this episode is incredible. The description of the three faces of war is so detailed, yet so brief. I want to take a little time to explore each face and set of arms.

The First Face: "One to play its pipes on scrimshaw bone." This line is apparently where the title "The Piper" comes from. As the story goes on, both Berry and Owen describe hearing strange music. This seems to be the "song of war" that the Piper plays, signaling a truly gruesome battle. This song doesn't necessarily warn off or compel the soldiers, but seems to do a bit of both. A war song doesn't just encourage a soldier to fight, but also warns an enemy. Wilfred Owen believes this being is The War itself, therefore its song should encourage violence from all sides, but also instill a deep fear in every soldier.

To me, this face fits with the hand raised "in a crisp salute." This hand and face prevent a false majesty and honor to war. This face tells the soldiers fighting is good, they will be rewarded, they will be valued. But of course, underneath its muddied green coat, all that the War has is a scarred and bloody body. "Nothing remained but the wounds themselves."

The Second Face: I've chosen to associate the face that "screamed its dying battle cry" with "the arms gripping blades and guns and spears." This face seems to represent the adrenaline violence and war brings, even as it kills you. I've always thought adrenaline not as good or bad, but creating more tangible and real emotions than other things can.

The Third Face: "One that would not open its mouth, for when it did blood and sodden soil flowed out like a waterfall." I associate this face with the hands begging for mercy. Clarence Berry is under 22 when this statement takes place, and (the real) Wilfred Owen would be between 22-24. These are practically children. They are going to die. They are going to die before their time, before it is fair. They are going to beg for mercy. This is the nature of war, and so is the nature of The War.

There is an implication that The War kept Owen alive so he could create poetry that glorifies The War. I wonder if this is out of ego--it wanted to be seen as glorious and beautiful--or simply to drag the battle on longer. If it seems inspirational, it will continue.

Overall I think this episode demonstrates the tentative balance World War One held between being "the writer's war" and "the technological front." The war represented a shift in humanity's ability to be brutal, but also spawned art and innovation. This doesn't justify the violence that occurred, but rather the acts of destruction and creation during the war existed in tandem, like two sides of a coin.

Character Notes: I know that Jon was speaking through the statement when he was making fun of Owen's poetry, but the idea of Jon being a cannon poetry hater is too funny for me to ignore

[hoeswater]

I'm Talking about MagPod and Archives Again

I know that those of us in the middle of the Venn diagram of “Magnus fans” and “People who actually know how archives work” have really given Jonny a hard time about the way that the Magnus Institute archives and artefact storage are shown as working (or, I mean, not working) in the podcast. Not just in terms of best practices (where) but also like… archives can be spooky, it can be a spooky job, but not really for those reasons, you know? Anyway, I think that Protocols Episode 9 actually engages with the archives’ role as an archives in a way that’s really, really interesting. Qualifications: I’m almost done with my master’s in Library and Information Science/Archives Management and have been working in actual archives of various types for a year and a half. 

Specifically, I’m really interested in how Dice Guy engages with the horror within the context of the donation process. We hear a lot about the horror that objects in this universe cause while they’re still in the possession of their pre-Institute owners-slash-avatars, and a lot about the horror that these objects cause when they’re mishandled (looking at you, Jon “It is Remarkably Easy to Buy An Axe in Central London” Sims) while being stored at the Institute, and every now and again we get to see Jon or Gertrude accept or turn down an offered object (the teeth apple, Eric Delano’s page, etc) in TMA. But this is one of the only places in the podcast(s) where the process of donation and acquisition registers as a part of the horror story for the people giving or receiving the object. I’m thinking specifically about the beginning of the “statement proper,” where the statement giver says:

“So yeah, I tell you all about them, how I got them, all that crap and you just… You take them away, right? You accept them. Good. I think. I’m pretty sure that’s how it works. It’s how it worked for me, at least. Put them in whatever vault you like, bury them, drop them in the ocean for all I care. All that matters is that they’re yours now.” 

At surface level, this disclaimer seems pretty similar to some of the other things that statement givers say in TMA: I just need to tell someone, I just need somebody else to know, You have the power to do something about this and I don’t, etc. But this statement differs from the ones we saw in TMA because it’s not just about catharsis or reaction to a terrible thing happening; it’s the actual change of ownership of the dice that gives this moment meaning within the horror story for Dice Guy. And this hinges on the fact that Dice Guy, like a lot of real-life people, sees the purpose of an archives as being locked vaults designed to keep non-expert people away from things they don’t know how to handle, rather than their actual purpose, which is to preserve things for the express purpose of making them accessible to the public. I imagine that the Magnus Institute, if it were real, would have some pretty strict access policies due to, you know, special circumstances– the stuff it holds generally having the ability to kill or maim or otherwise make people’s lives miserable– but it’s fun to think about. If Dice Guy had understood the fact that archivists and staff and conservationists and sometimes researchers interact* with the materials in their care, would he have still donated the dice? Was he at the point where it didn’t matter who got the bad luck, as long as it wasn’t him, or was he leaning on the stereotype of archives being locked vaults as a way to absolve himself of the guilt of giving the dice away to a person, because people use the things they're given and he thinks archives don't? 

It also raises some interesting questions about ownership. Real archivists think about the ethics of donation, acquisition, and ownership a lot. What does it mean for somebody to give something to an archive? What does it mean to accept it, therefore a) accepting responsibility for the preservation of the object and b) assigning cultural/historical/ideological value to it? This is where TMAGP comes pretty close to real archival theory: Dice Guy thinks that he’s nullifying the dice’s power by giving them to the Institute, but isn’t it true that to accept an object into an archive assigns it a level of power? The notes at the beginning of the statement seem to suggest that the dice coming under the Institute’s ownership lends them power beyond what they had originally, as well: “Viability as Subject,” “Viability as agent,” “Viability as catalyst,” “Recommend referral to Catalytics for Enrichment Applicability Assessment.” To me, this says that maybe the dice were in the running to potentially be chosen for the role that the tape recorders fill in TMA– to facilitate, or serve as a catalyst for, the narrative/the fears’ growing power by being passed to the “agent” (Jon or Jon-equivalent) through the Magnus Institute. We, the audience, know that, if the dice had been selected to fill the tape recorder role, that would give them the potential not just to make one individual’s life more miserable, but to fundamentally change the entire world a la TMA 160 and 200. 

*In TMA canon, the Web uses the Magnus Institute as a site for agents and catalysts to interact, just as much as the Eye does if not more. The fact that the archives is a site of interaction between people and particular objects is critical to the narrative as told by the Web, even if it seems incidental to Jon–and even if Jon doesn’t understand the archives that way. It’s an interesting way to look at the Magnus Institute and archives as functioning in a similar way to actual archives, which serve as sites of interaction between people and historical objects (in spite of Jon’s complete lack of ability to function as a regular archivist.)

[a-mag-a-day]

Unfortunately, probably won't be listening to this one today. However, this is one of the episodes that I've relistened to multiple times.

I need to preface that though with this caveat. So I think we can all agree that Jonny Sims' voice acting is spectacular, and he manages portray a wide spectrum of emotion and physical well being just through his voice, yes? So Jonathan Sims the character is frequently in distress, particularly in this episode, and if I want to feel a certain way when reading fanfiction I just listen to the first and last part of this episode.

Also, can I just finish with how once again Jonathan Sims cannot seem to grasp the very obvious and instead interprets it into something it isn't? First he he hears a statement about how the Not-Them is sealed in the web table and decides to go after it with an axe. Now he collates several statements over time to show not that people are drawn out of the Fears by those people they care about, but instead that they must have had physical anchors and his needs to be a body part. Truly embodying that Beholding trait of Seeing but not understanding literally anything. He's so dumb 😊

Jonny is just so good at voice acting and making me feel things because of said voice acting.

I also love that nobody really seems to point out to any Beholding person that knowing something and understanding something are two different things. Then again, it is the power of blindly seeking knowledge even if it will lead to that person’s demise.

Ashes edit (because I will FOREVER defend Jon!): I really don't think he was dumb in any of those times. So many listeners who already know the outcome say his choices were stupid but with the table Jonny himself admitted that with the table Jon was genre savvy! I would also assume that if the monster is tied to the table it would hurt it to destroy the table! Also when Jon was in the buried in the very next episode he says "My anchor, my – the rib; I can f– I can feel – I know the way." The tapes worked because the rib was there. It wasn't Martin it wasn't love. It was the tapes and it was the rib he was absolutely right about that. Nothing is more strongly connected to you than your own body and as isolated as he is right now he has no proper attachment to any object (he lost everything, even his clothes) like shakya and I believe would definitely be correct to assume this is the best option for him.

Jon 👏 isn't 👏 dumb!

(end of rant sorry)

[beaft]

Your mangus archive season 5 opinions are sooo fucking correct I listened to it so hard for the four seasons and I got so into it I have a game design doc for a tma game that I made for a class and then. Season 5 dropped and it was kinda...anyway I stopped listening part way through and I've never gone back

right! there was a lot of potential and so many cool ideas and the actual execution was just... it didn't work for me, and i found it hard to get through. it felt like a slog. the writing was still good, and so was the voice acting, but it felt like some key ingredient was missing.

honestly, i think part of the problem was that it kept trying to stick to the same format as the previous four seasons when the setting and the stakes had drastically shifted. tma essentially started as a join-the-dots horror anthology, with the "statements" helping to construct a gradual picture of the world and the characters in it. they were both entertaining short stories in their own right and vehicles to move the plot forward. each season had a similar format: slow build-up, information revealed piece by piece, and then an explosive finale. it wasn't a particularly original structure, but it worked.

then season 5 hits, and we've shifted genres to a full-on post-apocalyptic cosmic horror situation. it's gone from "mystery" to "action", and the "statements" no longer serve their former purpose (dropping breadcrumbs for both you, the listener, and jon, the character). it feels like the plot keeps grinding to a halt just so we can hear yet another statement that doesn't tell us anything we don't already know.

and then we get the finale, which - i like that it's ambiguous, i like that we didn't get a saccharine happy ending, but i can also understand why everyone was so pissed at having sat through a full season to find out what was going to happen at the end, only for jonny sims to go, "well, who knows?" and disappear in a puff of smoke.

honestly, i think i liked it best when it was a fucked-up office comedy.

[rustyelias]

omg please i'd love to hear u yap ab how you feel protocol contradicts the tma ending 👀

jumps up and down!!!

🚨spoilers for magnus archive protocol🚨

okay so in episode 22 and 23 we get two sets of name drops. The first Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood. Honestly this didn’t lay right with me at all! Archives ended and we didn’t know the fate of the two! My own interpretation of this ending is that without the fears anymore both Jon and Martin are free there is no beholding anymore meaning there is no need to know! But my own interpretation aside I love the way the ending was written Jonny let us as the listener decide what happened to them, did they simply die? Or perhaps in an alternative universe? Happy? Sad? Or simply gone?

the ending is super tragic when we think about Jon in season one yelling that he didn’t want to become another mystery and guess what that’s what he becomes!

I also need to talk about how Alex and Jonny said that you don’t need to know anything about archive to enjoy protocol. Technically yes you can go into protocol blind to archive but the big moments of oooo Jon and Martin will leave new listers being like huh okay because they don’t get why that’s a big thing!! this is me being very very picky but it bothers me! from what they said I assumed we would get very small hints to archive but from the looks of it they are going to be relevant to the plot??

Archive was fully planned out as it was written! It was said multiple times that archive had a megaplot!!! Jonny knew how he wanted it to end! And I really hoped protocol would change archives ending but naming the two main characters in protocol isn’t going that! to me Jon and Martin are being ripped from there graves the beautiful ending of tma has been erased to me! You could argue that it is a alternative universe so it has no effect on archives (I’m pretty sure Jonny said something like this but I could be wrong so don’t hold me to that) but still it feels like they are draining archives for all they can get.

oh wow I really have just rambled here if anyone read all this I’m sorry for my shitty grammar and spelling mistakes and thank you for reading my yapping bajsjsjsajjsjs

[starship--aurora]

episode one liveblog (sort of) let’s go

jon sims you dramatic fucker. /aff

did not miss the four minutes of ads LMAO

you can HEAR the contempt in his voice as he talks about gertrude.

”i don’t count martin” giggling, i love asshole jon.

”tim, sasha, and. yes, i guess, martin.”

ANGLERFISH ANGLERFISH ANGLERFISH.

”recording by jonathan sims, head archivist of the magnus institute, london” DUDE. i don’t know why that took me so aback.

mike. like michael. goddamnit jonny sims, what’s it with mikes and michaels.

THE STATIC.

“can i have a cigarette?”

i love the background music so much.

i remember thinking how much he got into it, how much of a theatre kid he seemed to be.

ANGLERFISH.

”i looked at their feet, and saw that they weren’t quite touching the ground.”

torch. i always forget that torches are the same thing as flashlights.

“statement ends, this was fucking stupid”

sasha mention <3

”look at this drunk creeper, ell-oh-ell.” i hate how he says lol, i don’t know what it is about it LMAO.

episode two!

JOSHUA GILLESPIE <3

i remember one time while rambling to my mother about joshua, she kept thinking i was saying “lesbian” and not “gillespie”.

got bored this is being continued hours later.

joshua gillespie you absolute fucker, i love you and want to kiss you on the mouth.

oh no, what ever shall you do, waking up with the key.

”perhaps a bit elaborate” Joshy Boy Elaborate Is What You Need.

”it’s odd how fear can become as routine as hunger.”

yeah, my living room coffin is making weird noises, Music Time.

ooo, knock knock.

hi john. surprised to see you, shocked to see me.

smash smash on the ground.

breekon and hope, let’s go. i love.

joshua gillespie, the hero. we salute you.

”it’s always nice to hear my hometown isn’t always devoid of odd happenings”

giggle that was great.

episode three!!

tmagp ad, oh em gee (<- this loser listened to tmagp premier today and is very normal about it)

”she sleeps with other women” what is this ad, i want to listen to this podcast. /hj

”rusty quill presents… the magnus archives…” stop with your verbal ellipsis, dude. LMAO

”jonathan sims, head archivist of the magnus institute, london”

GRAHAM!!!!! I love Graham so much.

”hey man, i always see you writing, how’s your notes coming along?” “i. i don’t take notes?”

sexy graham rights.

the amount of times i’ve had to rewind because i didn’t process it.

“hey graham” “HOLY SHIT”

public transport is scary, no judgement there.

i honestly never understood the statement giver’s discomfort with graham. to the point you couldn’t even let him see which building.

yeowch graham what did you do. 😔

“apparently he was gay.”

weird hooks weird hooks weird hooks woo.

graham’s notebooks 🥰.

graham honestly sounds like an interesting guy, i think if i’d ever met him, i’d befriend him.

TABLE. WAIT, IS IT THE TABLE USED TO TRAP NOTTHEM?

wait. wait wait wait. oh my god.

it is i think.

stalking your coworkers is Creepy. jon, please don’t take ideas. (jon then proceeds to take ideas)

driving through ohio at night is fun, ngl.

i saw him take one of his notebooks. he ate it.

wowza, all sexy gay people eat notebooks, do you eat notebooks?

“i even saw him freak out at the ice cream truck” that is honestly me. any loud sound? i panic like there’s no tomorrow

memorizing his pizza order <3

fuck capitalism. (“i had to drop out of the college course to work late nights”)

notthem notthem notthem wooohooo

okay i take it back, ohio backroads are NOT fun at night.

notthem <3

yeah i kinda. just stood there.

the background music slow rising!!

”from my months of watching” haha

not!graham!!

imposter? like…… among…

i love the description so much.

aw man, bye notebooks ✌️

hey amy, i’m going to come to your house.

statement ends!

tim mention ❤️❤️❤️.

“i trust coworker testimony as far as i can burn it.”

ohio hills and sharp turns at night are not fun, my stomach is in my throat.

JOURNAL JOURNAL JOURNAL JOURNAL

KEEP WATCHING.

[testicularmanslaughtrr]

Okay listen. I forgave yall for not warning me about Ben Meredith’s facial hair.

That I can overlook

But when I heard in passing “Jonathan Sims was in a band” and kept hearing the name The Mechanisms, when I finally put two and two together

THATS’S NOT WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT YOU MEANT.

When I hear “oh your rival Jonny sims sang in a band” you all failed to mentioned the fucking steampunk goggles and CUNTY EYELINER.

You guys need to WARN ME.

[mamahersh]

So I’ve been thinking, and obviously these are thoughts that will probably be expounded upon (potentially) in my final remarks post on Saturday, but I’ve been having some thoughts about JMart again. Condensing some of the previous commentary, the running themes I’ve been struggling with, ect. Perhaps my opinions with change with MAG 200, maybe 200 will only cement them, but hear me out:

TMA is a horror podcast, not a horror/romance podcast. “But mamahersh!” I hear you cry, “no duh! No one ever claimed it was a horror/romance podcast!”

You, imaginary reader, are quite correct.

It’s just odd that the show writer tries so very hard to add romance in the show in S5 just to seemingly set up a final act romantic tragedy. Well, ok, that’s rather disingenuous, as there’s some off handed mentions of Jon and Martin hanging out in S3, and Jon spends like half his time in S4 pining after Martin. But more to the point: all actual romantic developments (except when needed for an important character moment to tie into something tragic later) are off screen. We hear second hand about Melanie and Georgie’s relationship forming, we can make our own assumptions about their closeness based on 158? and 190-192, we hear offhandedly about Jon and Martin’s S3 lunch dates (if I’m not misremembering that tidbit entirely), we can speculate about Jon and Martin’s relationship progressing and that it was a rather significant jump in progress after saving Martin from the Lonely while they sheltered at Daisy’s Safehouse...

I’m mostly trying to get at I think two big things I guess. 1) Jonny is spectacular at horror writing. S1-3, and the statements in S4 are spot on in terms of striking the right balance you need in a campfire story or a personal folktale or a short horror story. He also does a great job at writing long form dramas, what with seeding the clues to how the universe works from the very beginning and challenging the listeners to try and understand what’s going on right along with the main character. Keeping the listeners on their toes as they wait each week with baited breath to find out what’s happening this time to our dear blorbo Jarchivist. However, what he seems to enjoy doing less of, at least in TMA universe, is write “fluff”. He can certainly write soft moments between characters, quite well in fact! There’s a reason S5 has a bajillion animatics from when it was releasing based on the little JMart tidbits we were given. But that’s just it, they were tidbits, and even the patreon and public fluff extras never exceeded 10 mins. Goodness, not to say they should have! But more to the point: it’s quite difficult to write a healthy or even a compelling romance when you don’t have the time or “place” to establish it. which kinda leads into...

2) The reason I keep feeling like the romance between Jon and Martin in S5 is forced is because to some extent it is. There was no development of their relationship on tape, and then when finally do have the time to do so it’s in the literal worst situation imaginable to do so. All of the silly somft moments are eaten away by both the circumstances of Jon and Martin being able to spend all this time together (the literal end of the world and all that’s Good) and their general dispositions towards each other. You don’t keep a relationship healthy or alive by never trusting your partner, or never telling them anything in a way they can understand, or callously talking about trying end every “monster” like them, or never listening to their concerns. These two have always struggled with communicating and the apocalypse just seems to have exacerbated the problems 10 fold. Which, again, horror podcast. Dramatic Tragedy and all that. We are getting their relationship set up for 200, but also because it makes for a good reason that Jon hasn’t just jumped off the deep end yet.

Anyways, I think this nicely consolidates my thoughts on the matter. And just to be clear, I’m sure if Jonny Sims wanted to write full length episodes of sappy office drama I’m sure he could, but in the context of TMA he certainly can’t. Which is perfectly fine outside of suddenly trying to pull a Romeo and Juliet with Jon and Martin as a major B plot running through all of S5.

[tmisaccidentreportbook]

MAG002, Do Not Open

Case #9982211, Joshua Gillespie Release date: 25 March 2016 First listen: 13th Oct 2020, on the walk into work

Right, so I’m listening and writing this while under the effects one of Mr Jonathan Sims’ favourite plausible explanations: head injury. I’m fine, just took a tumble at work and the headache’s starting to creep in.

- Joshua Gillespie! Return of the King! So sad never really got to hear what became of him. (she says, fully aware that whatever is coming at us at the end of the month could be ANYTHING)

- With the introduction, there’s one unifying theme between the 2 statements we’ve had so far, and that is the unpleasantness starts with a ‘lads on tour’ energy. A night drinking in Edinburgh, a boys’ holiday to Amsterdam. So far the demographic, and ok we’re 2 episodes in, for victims seems to be male students… Have been a student myself, and not a male one, a rather unkind part of me thought it nice for the background radiation of terror to shift for a while. It did also tell me that I needed to take care on any stag trips I may attend.

- For clarification, I’m a cis woman and yes, I have been on stag weekends. We went to Thorpe Park and did The Crystal Maze Experience, I had a lovely time.

- Yup, very white/cis/het/male energy here, heading out in a foreign city on your own, presumably not telling any of you’re party where you’re going. Granted, it was the 90’s but still.

- Cardiff! Cardiff gets a mention! Another city I have lived in for a spell.

- The mysterious ‘John’; hard to describe or picture. And I imagine that a lot of men my adopt the name ‘John’ while in Amsterdam. The odd phrasing and the fact that he said he was from Liverpool has always been strange to me, I don’t know if there’s been a pay off there that I’ve missed.

- Huh… The Buried weighing him down. Just thinking about what could weigh you down in this instance; student debt, obligation to your own word, dread.

- Done some maths because this is who I am apparently… £10,000 in 1996, with inflation, would be £20,864.13 today.

- Bournemouth… been there…

- So hopeful. So naive. The Entities don’t need you address or name mate.

- And the first appearances of everyone’s favourite cockney delivery men, I say from under my ‘Breekon and Hope of Nottingham, Handle With Care’ fleece throw. I’m feeling delicate, I need handling with care.

- Jonny Sims has spoken about the importance of pulling tactical sickies, Joshua also subscribes to that wisdom.

- When an unknown coffin is dumped in your living room in mysterious circumstances, what do you do? Tea. Yeah, you can tell this is a British production.

- So the vessel for an eldritch horror becomes a coffee table. I’d take it over IKEA.

- The scratching and singing: It makes no sense, it is impossible and that makes it all the more terrifying.

- ‘Some might call me a coward’, Sir, the fandom calls you a King.

- When the melodic moaning started, I don’t know why but the first thing that came into my mind was ‘mermaid’. I’ve never watched ‘Pirates of the Caribbean, on stranger tides’, or what ever it is but I’ve got the vague image memory of a mermaid in a glass coffin like cage. And with the strange singing, I thought ‘mermaid’. And not your Disney models of mermaid. Lamp like eyes and teeth.

- ‘Goes to show you can get used to anything if you have to.’ Well wasn’t this a doozie of a line to hear some 8 months into a global pandemic… ‘It’s funny how fear can become as routine as hunger.’ Jonny, I just want to talk. Thing is, I had another storm on the way and we had no idea.

- The freezing of the key. Genius.

- When he opened to door to John and Breekon and Hope and they saw that he had not succumbed to The Buried. In my head, that moment became when ‘The Sacrificial Lamb Refused To Lie Down’.

- ‘When the screaming started...’ gotta pay the piper John. The Buried wants its numnums. I mean, he was described as having an odd density to him, but he was also short and up against Breekon and Hope, he wasn’t winning this fight.

- ‘I got a new job and moved to London’. Ho SHIT, DID HE MOVE INTO PETER LUKAS’ APARTMENT BUILDING!? He was already primed for The Lonely, spending all his free time alone in his flat as the coffin didn’t really lend itself to entertaining. Does anyone have a date on when Lukas’ The Silence ritual was meant to take place? Is it post 1998?

- Huh, forgot Jon was a Bournemouth local boy. I’ll probably talk about this at some point, but my home stomping grounds are pretty bare of statements. And that could be read a number of ways.

- Timothy Stoker. My boy. My fun time boy. ‘Despite Tim’s best efforts.’ Oh and his efforts are the best aren’t they.

- Hearing about the fact that he was the only tenant in the building at the time and no one has lived there since… Oh boy, you are ripe for The Lonely.

[missimbalance]

You hyped for Magnus Protocol?

This answer is loooong overdue, and probably will be much too long, but no matter how much I think about it, I'm not sure.

I definitely want it to happen. I want it now, I want it enough to throw my money at them.

But then I already have my perfect spiritual successor: Tiny Terrors. The fact that they have an in-universe TMA expy only makes it sound more like The Universe to start all the other verses (and also that's where I can hear Mike LeBeau).

But on the other hand, it's unfair to look for spiritual successors elsewhere when Jonny Sims is right here, and writing (and could possibly see this if I'm unlucky).

On the other other hand though, what if I won't like it? Would I still love The Magnus Archives as much as I did? I'm more worried that it might not be for me, rather than simply not good enough - that would be the ultimate alienating experience.

So, yeah, I'm trying to keep my hopes up.

[isa-ghost]

i saw your post about sad protagonist men and immediately thought "jon sims"

so i checked your profile and i can just say i was NOT surprised to see "horror podcast fan" in your bio. you really wrote that post with jon at the forefront of your mind huh

(/lh)

oh 10000%. Also had his name in the post tags LOOOOL

Jonny fuckin inflicted my first genuine comfort character on me with that trope

Melanie blaming Jon for everything that happened in s3 when he wakes up from his coma and returns to the institute, and then saying not to look at her like that?? You just KNOW he had to of had to most hurt and guilty face ever.

He's so plagued by guilt he [gestures violently at ep 200]????

He tries SO HARD in seasons 3-5 to communicate with everyone, and NOBODY but Martin wants to hear it and just keep blaming him instead or making accusations about his powers that he LITERALLY cannot control at first.

AND ELIAS SET IT ALL UP. LIKE. F U C K.

[thatpodcastkid]

Magnus Archives Relisten 7, MAG 7 The Piper

Thank you for your patience while I worked on these! This is an analysis of Magnus Archives MAG 7, The Piper. One of the best-written episodes in the series. Pure poetry.

Facts: Statement of Seargent Clarence Berry regarding his time serving with Wilfred Owen during World War One. Statement given November 6, 1922.

Statement Notes: "Hey you know Wilfred Owen? The famous poet Wilfred Owen? The guy whose poems you had to read in class Wilfred Owen? Yeah, what if he was possessed? Wouldn't that be fucked?" -Jonny Sims at the Rusty Quill pitch meeting.

In all seriousness, this episode is incredible. The description of the three faces of war is so detailed, yet so brief. I want to take a little time to explore each face and set of arms.

The First Face: "One to play its pipes on scrimshaw bone." This line is apparently where the title "The Piper" comes from. As the story goes on, both Berry and Owen describe hearing strange music. This seems to be the "song of war" that the Piper plays, signaling a truly gruesome battle. This song doesn't necessarily warn off or compel the soldiers, but seems to do a bit of both. A war song doesn't just encourage a soldier to fight, but also warns an enemy. Wilfred Owen believes this being is The War itself, therefore its song should encourage violence from all sides, but also instill a deep fear in every soldier.

To me, this face fits with the hand raised "in a crisp salute." Reminding me of MAG 163, this hand and face prevent a false majesty and honor to war. This face tells the soldiers fighting is good, they will be rewarded, they will be valued. But of course, underneath its muddied green coat, all that the War has is a scarred and bloody body. "Nothing remained but the wounds themselves."

The Second Face: I've chosen to associate the face that "screamed its dying battle cry" with "the arms gripping blades and guns and spears." This face seems to represent the adrenaline violence and war brings, even as it kills you. I've always thought adrenaline not as good or bad, but creating more tangible and real emotions than other things can.

The Third Face: "One that would not open its mouth, for when it did blood and sodden soil flowed out like a waterfall." I associate this face with the hands begging for mercy. Clarence Berry is under 22 when this statement takes place, and (the real) Wilfred Owen would be between 22-24. These are practically children. They are going to die. They are going to die before their time, before it is fair. They are going to beg for mercy. This is the nature of war, and so is the nature of The War.

There is an implication that The War kept Owen alive so he could create poetry that glorifies The War. I wonder if this is out of ego--it wanted to be seen as glorious and beautiful--or simply to drag the battle on longer. If it seems inspirational, it will continue.

Overall I think this episode demonstrates the tentative balance World War One held between being "the writer's war" and "the technological front." The war represented a shift in humanity's ability to be brutal, but also spawned art and innovation. This doesn't justify the violence that occurred, but rather the acts of destruction and creation during the war existed in tandem, like two sides of a coin.

Entity Alignment: This is such a good Slaughter episode. As much as the Slaughter is associated with war, you don't see many battle episodes in the series, so this is a cool intro.

I wonder if "The War" is an avatar of war or if it is specifically the embodiment of World War One. The latter has the horrifying implication that mass events can not only be caused by entities, but feed entities. Even more frightening is that, in spite of the sheer volume of terror and violence, the war wasn't big enough to be the Slaughter's ritual.

Character Notes: Wtf is up with Joseph Rayner. Is he a Maxwell Rayner incarnation? Is he related to Maxwell Rayner? Why is he fighting in the British army? Why is literally never mentioned again?

I know that Jon was speaking through the statement when he was making fun of Owen's poetry, but the idea of Jon being a cannon poetry hater from season 1 is too funny for me to ignore.