#JDSKFHSDLFS???

[ferluccia]

Silly AU!Idea: Yurio babysitting Makkachin for a few hours and when Viktor and Yuuri come back from wherever, they see Yurio sprawled on the floor with Makkachin next to him and they're talking about the meaning of the universe

(please don’t be too harsh this is a very hurried ficlet fjkdsldfs)

“… so I guess we could make it in time,” Yuuri was saying as Victor struggled to unlock the door as he wrestled a bunch of groceries bags out of the way. “Unless we end up spending more time getting ready than we anticipate.”

“That always happens, babe,” Victor chuckled, pushing the door and stepping into the apartment with Yuuri at his heels. “We can always shower together to save time, but that only works in theory.”

Yuuri just laughed, his cheeks flaring up in a beautiful shade of pink as they kicked their shoes off on the doorway. Victor was right after all, so there was no reason to dismiss that innuendo. He’d grown comfortable with it, in fact, embracing his eros out of the ice as well as on it. 

Victor offered him a cheeky wink as he walked into the kitchen, placing the groceries on the counter and unpacking them, neatly organizing the items in rows like it was his habit, humming some pop tune as he worked. Yuuri joined him, unpacking and humming the same song, stealing a quick kiss in between his trips to place their food in the appropriate places.

But something was odd.

“Um… Where is Makkachin?” Yuuri asked, tucking his chin on Victor’s shoulder and lacing his arm around his waist as Victor unpacked the last bag. 

“Mm?”

Yuuri laughed softly, kissing Victor’s neck. “Our son? Makkachin? The brown poodle?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Victor hummed, leaning into his touch, melting into Yuuri’s embrace. “He didn’t show up, did he?”

“This is the first time we unpack our groceries in peace without him asking for a treat,” Yuuri said, lips brushing on Victor’s neck. “You think Yuri took him for a walk?”

“Maybe? I mean, maybe not, his sneakers were by the door so that means he’s still inside.”

Victor paused for a moment, eyes lost somewhere in the kitchen as he tried to listen for their noises.

“It’s too quiet. You know that kids are up to no good when they’re this quiet,” Victor shook his head half-heartedly before placing a soft kiss on Yuuri’s lips. “We should look for them.”

The apartment wasn’t exactly small, but not so big that one could lose themselves in it, so it didn’t take a long time for Yuuri to spot a muffled conversation coming from the guest room which had its door closed. They must be in there, he thought, gesturing at Victor to come check. 

They didn’t mean to eavesdrop, of course. But it kind of happened. As Victor was about to knock on the door to let Yuri know they were back, he caught on something interesting.

“Like…” Yuri’s voice was muffled, but easy enough to understand from the other side of the door, a soft Russian that was clear enough for even Yuuri to understand, “it’s crazy, you know? Uh, I mean, of course you don’t. You’re a dog. You just exist and that’s it. You don’t suffer any existential angst like I do. Consciousness is all fun and games until you start thinking… What’s the point of all this? But no, you just… chill. Forever. I’m kinda jealous of you, you know? I feel so small. Like… I try my damn hardest all the time and what’s the point? It’s all fake. And that’s fucked up. Nothing makes sense, but you’re a dog and you’re just OK with that, you don’t need to worry about these things. What is your secret? Like, what do you know? What goes on inside this poodle head?” 

“Vitya?” Yuuri whispered, eyes wide and bros knit together in confusion. “What’s going on?”

“He’s having a deep talk with Makkachin about the universe and the meaning of life, I guess?” Victor pressed his lips tight, suppressing a smile.

“Oh, dear.”

“Should we interrupt?” Victor asked.

Yuuri shrugged lightly. “I mean… I feel bad for eavesdropping,” he said, looking at their feet. “And I think it’s best we knock on the door and let him know we’re home instead of letting him open the door and find out we’re just standing here?”

Victor gave a sharp nod in agreement and knocked on the door. “Yura! We’re home!”

There was silence in the room, and they shared a brief moment where Yuuri and Victor just stared at each other expectantly as they waited for a response from the teenager on the other side. 

“Nice,” he replied in English. “You can, uh, open the door, if you want.”

Victor pushed it open to find Yuri on his stomach, laying on the floor in front of Makkachin, just glaring at them like he wasn’t just discussing philosophy with their dog. Makkachin, on the other hand, perked his ears up and wagged his tail at them, but made no move to come welcome them like he usually did. 

“What did you guys bring for dinner? I’m starved.”

“Oh, you know,” Victor shrugged, looking at Yuuri. “Frozen pizza. We can throw in some other ingredients and make it better like you showed us.” 

Yuri’s eyes lit up and a smirk curved his lips. “OK, cool.”

“And… Did Makkachin give you any trouble?” Victor squatted next to them to pet the dog, that offered him a sympathetic lick. 

“He was OK,” Yuri shrugged, watching Makkachin stand up and bond towards Yuuri excitedly. “Now, for real, can we get started on the pizza?”

“Ah, yes,” Yuuri said as he scratched behind Makkachin’s ear. “Care to help me with it? We just need to wash our hands first.”

Yuri just gave him a thumbs up as he sat up, watching the two disappear in the corridor as Victor unwrapped his scarf by the door, giving him a knowing look. 

“What?”

“Oh, nothing,” Victor smiled, folding the scarf on his arm. “I got a bit nostalgic, that’s all.” 

Yuri squinted, intrigued. “How so?”

Victor shrugged lightly, not looking him in the eyes. “I know Makkachin is a good listener.”

Raising his eyebrows, Yuri nodded in silence, his eyes scanning the room as Victor watched him. 

“OK, what are you doing here still?” Yuri frowned, pushing Victor out of the room. “Your fiancé needs our help. Stop moping.” 

“Oh, so you’re helping us? Yuri!” Victor smiled at him, letting his weight fall against Yuri’s angry push.

“Stop, Victor! Katsudon told us to wash our hands, not fool around!”