#Izzy is out there modeling the behaviour we all need to see

[zimmbzon]

One of the things I consistently LOVE about Izzy is that she asks questions if she doesn’t know something, and she doesn’t pretend to be able to do something that she finds difficult. It lets the viewer know that not knowing stuff is not socially bad. We all don’t know stuff and it’s cool to just ask. It okay to not be confident with maths under pressure. That’s another not knowing stuff situation.

She models advocating for herself, she models open honest curiosity. And yes, she does seem to feel a little vulnerable when she goes this, BUT SHE KEEPS DOING IT ANYWAY

Izzy, more than anyone else I have seen on d20, consistently shows us that you don’t have to be perfect at maths or dnd to be an incredibly valuable member of the team. And by doing so she opens the door to many who would have shied away from ttrpgs because of these things.

RPGs are for everyone.

The *audacity* of Izzy to just list out numbers and wait for other people to do the math. Truly no one is doing it like her.

[izzysillyhandsy]

More observations from my first-time-watching-OFMD friend after the S1 finale:

Izzy's little wave in Ep9: "It's like: Hi Ed, it's me... Does it even matter anymore that I'm here?"

Izzy's reaction to the toe incident in Ep10: "At first he's almost happy about it, isn't he? We're Blackbeard again, you need me. It does matter that I'm here!"

Me: Oh my god you're killing me 😭

Izzy's betrayal upset her at first (she texted me: "By the way, we have to talk about Izzy selling them out to the enemy, that's actually not cool") but while talking about it she came up with this interesting thing later.

"In close relationships, behaviour-wise, partners often do the opposite of what the other is doing. You're crying, so I have to be strong. It's like a scale - one goes up, the other down.

You can see in the early episodes - Ed is still Blackbeard, strong and confident; Izzy is calm and keeps in the background. He talks softly to Ed while Ed is often hurtful and raises his voice (the model ship scene or the cloud scene). But when Ed is suddenly being vulnerable, Izzy compensates - in Ep4 (the empty shell of a man scene) it's still ok, Ed can deal with it, they're both closer to being equal.

Even Izzy selling Stede out doesn't seem like a total dealbreaker - it's an extreme reaction to Ed's extreme indecision - so Izzy has to be super decisive.

But in Ep10 Ed is all the way down, super vulnerable and Izzy's side of the scale goes way, way up. He's so cruel because Ed is so soft, because he "has to be the tough one" here. Izzy can't be like Stede who'd go right down and be vulnerable with Ed. Someone has to keep watch and compensate. This is how it's always been, it's survival.

Ed taking Izzy's toe is traumatic, but in this framework acceptable for Izzy. Ed's scale is higher up then ever, so Izzy is completely at Ed's mercy (and smiling and whispering to him)."

Me: ⚖🤔 ...there might be something to this

[amuseoffyre]

Since I did my wee heart's content flail about Stede's autistic coding, of course I can't leave Ed out. I am absolutely 100% on board with ADHD Ed. (Natch, here be spoilers for the whole series)

That man may be a brilliant tactician but the fact that Izzy has to chase him around a ship, telling him to stop getting distracted by clouds and model ships and shiny things immediately sang out to me. "Focus, Ed", Izzy tells him. "Yeah, but I'm bored," Ed replies, bored by the monotony of the same old over-and-over-and-over again.

To Stede, piracy is a life of excitement and adventure. To Ed, it's become routine and humdrum. "I don't even need to be there" he says. There's nothing that sparks his interest, keeps his focus, or makes him want to stick around but he can't see any other choice because he's Blackbeard. That's who he is and has to be. "Do you ever feel like you're just treading water, waiting to drown?" he says, trapped by his role, his name, his position and his own perception that it's all he can be in a repeating and tedious loop that is making him miserable.

And then you see him on Stede's ship, getting to try new things, have his world view shaken up, experience different kinds of behaviour and he blossoms. He's sparking with Stede, their two variations of neurodiversity fitting together just right, both of them getting to have the support and validation they need from a peer and the stimulation and interaction they have lacked.

Honestly, Ed looking at Stede and going "you're a fucking lunatic and I like it" feels like the dynamic I have with so many of my neurodiverse friends :D

I love that both of them have the same outside-the-box thinking when it comes to feral planning, but Ed - when he needs to - can look at a dozen random things that no one else would notice and go "huh" and work out a plan based entirely on that.

Ed looks at the shape of clouds and can calculate to the *minute* when things will happen - when it's something he's good at and gets excited by (which has the double-header of exasperating Izzy), he loves it. He looks around Stede's room and sees a way to construct an improvised lighthouse on a ship. And he's so proud of himself when it all works out.

Of course, it doesn't all go well. He gets so caught up in giddy excitement by the new things that he impulsively decides he wants to go to a posh party. And of course, gets entirely overstimulated, starts behaving in ways that are seen as too loud, too strange, too rude, egged on by his hosts and doesn't realise until he becomes the butt of the joke. My emotions when he goes running to Stede saying "I want to go home now" because it hits him so hard becoming the focal point of mockery. Lil sprinkle of rejection-sensitivity for you, my good pirate.  

Plus there's the clash when he and Stede do the treasure hunt. Stede, from his perspective and belief of what pirates enjoy, is trying to keep Ed stimulated and happy enough to stay. Ed, from his perspective, is being forced to do something embarrassing and cringy, leading to him losing his temper and getting angry. It takes Lucius explaining the miscommunication of what Stede is trying to do to make Ed realise this wasn't what he thought it was and immediately tries to make things better for Stede.

Add the fact he can't sit still, he's constantly swinging, climbing and bouncing on things. There's a frenetic energy to him, big physical reactions, big motions, and the only time we see those slow down - even stop - are at the end of the season. Ed was on the verge of becoming a Captain like Stede for the crew. He was so close to it. Sad, but slowly processing things (talking it through, as a crew), until Izzy yelled at him about all the things he fears he is and that make him bad (ie. the very things Izzy loves about him because Izzy is a leeeeeetle bit murdery).

At first, it's not so obvious, because he's still very visibly grieving but when he's holding that little bit of silk, remembering when Stede treated him like he was good enough, and then Stede Just Left Him? Was it because he wasn’t fine? Was it because fine things are what Stede really wants? The moment he lets go of that silk, when he puts on the the Blackbeard mask again, he's still and grim and it's a performance. A very taut, controlled performance that only falls apart when no one can see.

Izzy has been trying to get him to mask his behaviour the whole season and finally, finally he gets what he wants. He wants Blackbeard in command and focussed and as he was. But that isn't Ed. That's never who Ed was. And Ed, who is already not good at dealing with rejection, is in pieces hiding under a costume.

[flowerycoffin]

“Izzy does it” nitpicking

Idk how to start it, let me just dive in without any introduction.

1. I’d really like to know why Zipp is leaving voice notes anytime she have a screentime. It would be nice comedy effect for some if it was once or twice, but it’s happening all of the time and gets irritating pretty quickly.

2. I know it’s for investigation purposes but this scene looks kinda gay

Nothing strange; just one fella watching butt of a nice mare.

3. How does this mirror smartphone works? Can any of you two un-zoom Opalines face? It’s unsettling

4. Pipp songs are boring and a bit souless. Too bad those are the only ones we get so far. I understand that some people might like it but for me those are just generic pop songs.

Also, Pipp is said to be this huge pop star, but the only times we see her pipp squeaks there is just a bunch of young fillies.

5. 

I don’t believe Izzy never had creative block

I double don’t believe Pipp never had creative block.

6. Can ponies stop saying “That’s not it!” Over and over again? I’m not a native english speaker myself but I know that there’s much more words and sentences to express “That’s not it!”

7. 

This dude is rude for no reason. Take a gift and go away meanie.

8.

As someone who catch themselves having many times similar mindset I can tell you one thing Izzy - Don’t. Think. Like. That. It’s toxic behaviour making even bigger burn out and creative block than before. 

What sits bad with me is that this behaviour doesn’t seem to be corrected or even talked about and instead changed into “Oh, sometimes you just need to look for inspiration somewhere else :^D”

9. This is very odd exposition and unnatural dialogue

10. This is the very reason I hate toddlers

IT’S

HIS

FAULT

11. First off, nobody stole it

Second off, Sunny or left her coctail van without any additional safety or she’s blind for seeing mirror smartphone just now

12. Opaline will be my fav one solely because she’s barely a character and more generic DeviantArt OC villain from mlp golden era

13. I promised myself that I won’t bash on animators because they still have to get used to character models and other things but…

How did you managed to forget about all of those strains of hair and let it float through the body and be stiff?

And please decide. Motorcycle is burried or not

14. You know what?

Sunny is not the ONLY blind person here.

15. Don’t know why but this made me go “Oh wow, that’s mean.”

16. Ok, this last thing will be on a serious note - as before I was fun-hating Pipp within my friend group because it looked like writers wanted to make relatable influencer figure now I truly hate her with burning passion and here is why:

A) She is posting her friends image and shows off all of the things they are doing without their consent and without asking them for details.

(It’s about mane-cesorry Izzy gave Sunny as a gift, but I hope that before reading this post you watched the episode)

Izzy told you clearly that it is made as a birthday present, so why are you making it into a brand and say that everyone can get it!? Why haven’t you thought that maybe a thing done specialy for someone will be one and only? You live with Izzy in the same house and know that she’s crafting things the way she feels like crafting and probably wouldn’t like to make something because she has to. You never even asked her is it alright to say that she can make more of this. You never even asked Sunny if she is okay to be filmed and asked questions during her job but you still did it and showed her having troubles to the whole pony world!

Again - where is a question “Can I post about this?” And asking for details? You’re very bad role model.

B) Pipp is being way too much self-absorbed

As normally I’m advocating for having a bit of ego, here it’s pretty badly portayed to say at least.

You solved one problem so far and didn’t saw any results of it. Actually later you realized how bad your advice was, but before that it was so noble to the point where you had to say it out loud (???). Yes I’m over-analyzing but this monolouge took me off guard and twisted my guts when I first heard it.

Also her mannerism looks like coming from someone who doesn’t see a world outside herself. It’s probably just a biased thoughts and I wish it could change, but also kinda want to know if anyone else caught similar impression.

C) From where exactly does she know what will her hit song be? Isn’t it dependent from the audience?

D)

Good.

E) What’s the point in lying here?

Like really, do you know how many problems you could avoid in the future if you were honest with your friends and said that it’s not yours?

End note: Yeah that’s it. I’m open for discussions and additions. Sorry for ending on agressive note but I had to call out Pipp behaviour.

[5hfanfiction]

Why Did I Get Married?

Part Five: Emotional Toll

Camila was currently standing under the water with her eyes shut, allowing the beads to hit her and roll down her body. She was already finished washing herself off, but now, she was just relaxing in the water, preparing herself for their counselling session which they had to leave for soon.

She didn’t have any appointments for today, so after coming home from therapy, she was planning to spend the day with her daughter and continue working on their relationship. She only turned off the water and got out of the shower when she heard someone banging on her bedroom door. She wrapped herself in a towel and opened the door to be greeted to her wife.

“What’s up?” Camila asked casually, she didn’t fail to notice the way her wife’s eyes wondered down her body and quickly back up to her eyes, so that she wouldn’t have gotten caught oogling her.

Clearing her throat and trying to calm her heart rate, Lauren finally spoke up.

“I uh wanted to see if you were getting ready for our therapy session today…” the woman said awkwardly. “But I can see that you are. Maggie would be here soon to collect Izzy.”

Camila nodded. She had finally been able to get Lauren to stop allowing as she fondly called her ‘the side chick’ from dropping their daughter to school. Obviously, Hailee wouldn’t be gone from their lives forever; at least for now, but it was a small step.

“Okay..I’ll finish getting ready and I’ll be done soon,” Camila said after she realized Lauren wasn’t going to be saying anything again besides just staring at her. Her wife nodded and closed back the door.

Sighing heavily, Camila went to rummage through her closet. She settled on some ripped blue skinny jeans and a red flannel shirt. After dressing, She headed downstairs to have breakfast with her family.

“Buenos días, mija,” she greeted her daughter with a kiss on top her head. “Did you sleep well?”

Izzy nodded and swallowed her food before speaking. “Good morning, mummy!” the child greeted cheerfully. “Are you and mama going out again today?” Camila nodded as she poured herself a cup of coffee and took a seat next to her wife. “Can I come too?”

Lauren shook her head. “No, princesa. I told you this the last time. It’s just something for your mummy and I.”

Izzy pouted and sighed. “But I don’t want to go to school!” She whined.

Camila laughed. “You only have a few more days until Christmas break, baby. I think you can survive.”

“But, mummy…” she sighed and looked down. “You always leave and I want to spend time with you and mama before. I miss you when you’re not here. It makes me sad.”

Lauren gently elbowed her wife, seeing that she sat frozen after the words of her child. Camila knew she was hurting her child, but she didn’t know to what extent. She also, never expecting her child to say these words to her that could possibly break her heart.

After snapping out of her thoughts, Camila went by her child’s side and picked her up in her arms. Izzy instantly wrapped her arms around her mother’s neck. Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears as she held onto her mother.

“Princesa?” Camila cooed. “I want you to listen to me okay,” she placed the child a top the island and held her face in her hands. “I love you so much. And you need to know that I hate leaving you. Being away from you hurts me a lot. And I miss you so much, baby. But I’m doing this for you. I want you to have the life I never had.”

Izzy shook her head. “But mummy, I want you here. Mama wants you here. Why can’t you stay?”

“Baby, how do you think we have all these nice things? How do you think we can send you to that nice school with all your friends and Miss Kylie?” she asked her child but Izzy seemed oblivious to the fact that they needed money for all these things. Growing up, Camila had a really tough life. When her father left her mother, money was tight and her mother had to work two jobs just to provide the basics for her, and sometimes, that wasn’t enough. She promised herself that no matter what, she’ll never let her child lack for anything. But somewhere along the line, she didn’t realise that working as hard as she did, it meant that she wouldn’t get to see the child that she wanted to provide for so much.

Lauren coughed loudly, which caused her wife to look at her. She kinked an eyebrow as though she was silently asking, “What about me? Don’t I provide for this family too?”

Before any of them could continue this topic, their front door was flung open and boisterous voices were heard.

“LAUREN! CAMZII! MINI ME!!! WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE?!”

It was none other than Maggie Jauregui.

Izzy tried to climb down from the island, but her legs were too short, so she tugged on her mother’s shirt to help her down. Then she ran in the direction of her aunt’s voice.

“AUNTY MAGGIE!” She screamed in excitement as she jumped into her awaiting arms. “Are you here to take me to school?”

Maggie gave her various kisses on her face causing the child to giggle. “Yes I am, mija. Your mamas have some important things to do. Let’s say we ditch that hellhole and go shopping!”

Izzy giggled and shook her head 'yes’. “But we can’t tell mummy. She’ll be very mad.”

Maggie zipped her mouth and threw away the key.

“Can’t tell mummy what?” Camila asked smirking as she came up behind them. “That your aunty Maggie is a bad influence on you?” The younger Jauregui laughed. “I thought I heard someone else?” The brunette asked as she looked around the house.

And there she was, in all her Polynesian glory, the one, the only, Dinah Jane Hansen leaning on their living room wall watching the interaction smirking. “Fancy meeting you here, Walz.”

Camila screamed loudly and ran towards her friend. “OH MY GOD, CHEECH!” They instantly wrapped their arms around each other and kept on screaming. “You have no idea how much I missed you!” She said as they released each other from the hug and went to sit on the couch.

“I missed you so much too. I was actually in the neighbourhood dropping off the kids by Dante’s baby mama and I saw this one,” Dinah pointed at Maggie who was too engulfed in listening to whatever story her niece was telling her, “And we talked for a while until she said she had to come for the little superstar.”

Lauren emerged from the kitchen and greeted her old friend. Dinah was the mutual friend they had met each other through many years ago. And since then, she had self-claimed the title of being captain of the 'Camren’ ship as she so fondly called it.

“It’s nice to see you again, DJ. How was Greece?” Lauren asked as she slipped her backpack on her daughter.

Dinah looked up from her phone on her position on the couch, “How did you know I was in Greece?”

The photographer snorted along with Camila and Maggie.

“Really, Dinah? You spammed your Instagram feed with pictures of you and Dante in Greece for the entire week you’ve been there,” Maggie laughed.

The Polynesian rolled her eyes. “Well you guys didn’t like or comment on any of my pictures! How was I supposed to know you saw it?”

“I live on social media.”

“I’m a model. Instagram basically puts money in my pocket.”

“I’m barely on but I saw your pictures.”

Dinah flipped off her friends. “Well Greece was great. Dante and I seemed to have rekindled our flame but his stupid ass, baby mama has been on his dick since we came back!” She sighed dramatically.

“Stupid ass,” everyone turned their attention to the child in the room who giggled. The child’s parents glared at Dinah who shrunk in her seat.

Lauren knelt down to her daughter’s height. “Princesa, that’s not something you should say. It’s very bad. I don’t want you saying it. Okay?”

Izzy looked like she was about to protest as to why she couldn’t say the words when Dinah had, but when she saw the look on Camila’s face she went against it. She nodded. “Okay, mama. I won’t say it.”

Lauren smiled and placed a kiss on her daughter’s forehead. “I think you should carry her to school now, Mags.”

Izzy gave her other mother a hug and a kiss, she fist bumped Dinah and left with her aunt.

“Where are you two off to anyways?” Dinah asked as she took in the couple’s attire.

Camila looked at her wife who shrugged. “We’re um..we’re heading to couple’s therapy.”

Their friend choked. She wasn’t aware of Lauren’s infidelity. Camila would’ve told her, but she wasn’t sure who’s side she would’ve been on. Because Dinah and her wife were childhood friends, until she met the younger woman in a dance class many years ago. She thought she had lost Maggie, so she didn’t want to lose Dinah too.

“What? Why?” she asked as she glanced from Camila to Lauren continuously. “What did you do, Lauren? Did you cheat? Wait…did you cheat on her Camila? I always thought Mariana Pequeña chick was obsessed with you,” Dinah rambled without even allowing the couple to speak. “It was Dorito Boy wasn’t it? Wait, Lauren! Was it you with your hot secretary?”

Lauren visibly gulped. She wasn’t sure if her wife was going to spill the details to their friend.

“Um…it’s getting a bit late. We should probably head out,” Camila suggested to her wife.

Dinah stood up from her seat. “Why don’t we take the subway? I’m supposed to head to dance studio and I didn’t come with my car. I can keep y'all company while you guys tell me who cheated on who.” She linked arms with her friends and walked out their house without even waiting for their confirmation.

***

*In the subway*

“I’m sick of dealing with your ghetto baby mama,” Dinah shouted to her husband, Dante over the phone as she found a seat between her friends.

People gasped at her outbrust.

“Do you mind?” Someone from behind them asked. 

Camila sighed and shrunk in her seat, hoping that the earth would swallow her to save her from the embarrassment, that was named Dinah.

“Please excuse her, Lauren apologised to everyone for her friend’s behaviour.

"And what the hell are you talking about, do you mind?” Dinah turned to face the person behind them. “Y'all ain’t never seen a black person on a train?” She asked everyone who were looking at her and judging her behaviour. “You ain’t never heard of the underground railroad?”

“It looks like we’ve got a ghetto Harriet Tubman. Ooh, let my people go,” the woman behind her spoke up again.

“Excuse me!” Dinah was now clearly pissed. This woman was looking for her infamous 'poly beat downs’.

The woman smirked. “You heard me? Snap.”

Lauren sighed heavily. Why on earth didn’t she take her car? “Please excuse her. She’s drunk.”

The woman laughed and looked at Lauren sympathetically. “Yeah. I can tell. Sorry you have to deal with someone like her.”

“Do you always have to embarrass me?” Dinah heard her husband; Dante ask her through the phone. “I’m not even there and I’m feeling embarrassed.”

Dinah grumbled and turned to position herself forward. “I was fine until I dropped the kids off at Katrina’s house.”

“She’s their mother,” Dante said in a duh tone. “What do you want me to do?”

“Be a man and tell her to stop talking to me like she crazy,” Dinah responded. They had this conversation constantly. “I’m telling you, Dante, if she looks at me one more time cross-eyed, I’m gonna gut her like a fish.”

Dante sighed heavily and told his wife that he had to go. Grumbling a goodbye, she slipped her phone into her jacket pocket.

“Could you lay off of that for a while?” Camila asked Dinah as she saw her friend drinking from her flask.

The woman gulped half of the flask before wiping her mouth and slipping it back into her jacket. “Anyways, I’m shocked to find out what happened between the two of y'all. Is this Doctor Whoever helping?”

Lauren sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “We only had one session, so not much can really happen. It did get us to talk for a bit and hang out like a family.”

Dinah nodded mindlessly. “I don’t get why Dante doesn’t stand up to his piece of shit baby mama. Like shit! I’m going to kill her one of these days.”

“Would you all please take his conversation somewhere else, for example like the comfort of your home perhaps,” the woman behind the three of them interrupted.

“Dinah is trying to have a conversation with her friends. I’m about sick of y'all interrupting my conversation. I don’t give a damn about you.” Dinah sat up in her chair to face the woman. “I heard those little smart-ass remarks you made, too. Didn’t your mama teach you something about not butting into people’s conversations? Who the hell do you people think you are anyway? Didn’t y'all hear me having a conversation with my husband when I got on this train?! And aren’t y'all seeing me talking to my friends?! Trying to save a damn marriage here!”

***

After bidding their friend goodbye, the couple headed on their way to their therapy session. As they stepped into the elevator, the familiar song about love filled the room. They hadn’t said a word to each other since Dinah left. Nerves of having to undergo another therapy session seemed to have gotten the better of them. Camila for one, still wasn’t quite comfortable with the whole idea, but she did want to their to salvage their marriage. That’s if it could have been salvaged.

“Good morning, Mrs and Mrs Jauregui - Cabello. Dr Briggs is already in her office and she’s expecting you. You can go on in,” the secretary greeted both women as they stepped out of the elevator with a polite smile on her face.

“Good morning, Marissa was it?” the secretary nodded and seemed to fan girl a bit that Camila had remembered her name. “You can call me Camila and my wife, Lauren. No need for pleasantries.”

Lauren rested her hand on her wife’s lower back and guided her towards Chelsea’s office. She knocked once and opened the door. Dr Briggs had been pouring herself a cup of coffee when they entered.

“Lauren, Camila. Good morning! Come in. Do you two wanted any coffee? Or tea? It’s Earl Grey,” she motioned at her teapot but the women declined again. Camila mainly did it because she still didn’t trust Chelsea and was afraid that she would try to drug or hypnotise her into one of those Stepford Wives from the movie. They found their usual seats and waited for Doctor Briggs to grab her clipboard and begin with her session.

“So how are both of you today?” the doctor asked the couple.

“We’re doing fine. I’ve been pretty busy with work, while Camila has been home with Izzy,” Lauren answered as she glanced at her wife from time to time.

Chelsea nodded. “How’s your daughter going?” she directed the question to Camila, hoping to pry some information to see if their relationship had somewhat improved over the past week.

The brunette cleared her throat awkwardly. “She’s doing fine. My sister in law dropped her off at school. She keeps asking if she can come with us, when we’re coming here,” Camila laughed.

“Oh so have you two been spending much time together since you got back from tour?” Chelsea took a sip from her coffee. “How did she react when she saw you?”

Camila ran her hands through her hair. She really didn’t want to have to relive this moment, when she came home and was greeted to Hailee playing with her daughter. It was clear to her that Izzy had a better relationship with the outsider, rather than her, the child’s own mother.

“Um..I’ve been trying to spend some time with her, when she’s not at school. Sometimes, we draw and colour with each other. And I’m teaching her how to play the piano. She’s learning really fast.”

Lauren smiled. Truth be told, when Camila told her over the phone that she was going to try to be the mother their daughter deserved, she was a bit sceptical and was very doubtful, she wasn’t sure her wife would’ve kept her word. But much to her surprise, Camila did. Even though the child seemed to keep thinking that her mother would disappear without telling her.

Doctor Briggs smiled. “Aw. That’s so lovely! I’m sure Isabella enjoys doing that with you.” She wrote something down in her notepad when she realised Camila hadn’t answered the question to how her daughter reacted when she came back home. “So how was my little assignment that I gave the two of you? Did everything turn out well?”

Lauren decided to speak up. She knew her wife wouldn’t be too keen on having to answer all these questions, because she would’ve felt as though Chelsea was attacking her. “I think it turned out quite well. We spent some time together as a family. It had been quite sometime since we did that. Izzy seemed to enjoy it as well. Camila even got to meet one of Izzy’s friends.”

The brunette smiled at the memory. “Yeah. It was really nice spending time together.”

“Did anything exciting happen over the course of the week?”

Camila was questioning as to what this doctor was trying to get at. Why wasn’t she asking the important questions? Why was she asking these questions trying to engage them in small talk?

“Well no, not really. The only interesting thing I guess would have to be our daughter getting sick,” Lauren spoke up when she noticed the expression of confusion written across her wife’s face. “I had to work, so Camila had to take care of her with the help of my sister.”

Doctor Briggs wrote something on her clipboard. Something inside of Camila snapped when she saw Chelsea writing.

“I know I’m an incompetent mother okay? You don’t have to judge me!” she said in frustration.

The blonde looked up from her clipboard with a blank expression. “Care to elaborate as to what you mean, Camila?”

The brunette groaned. “You know what I mean! You wrote something down when Lauren said I got help from her sister. I’m an incompetent mother. I know. I haven’t been around much. I don’t know my daughter’s favourite colour, I don’t know how she likes her eggs, I don’t know her favourite toy or tv show,” tears began to glisten the woman’s eyes. The doctor hadn’t downright said anything about her incompetency, but Camila felt as though she was judging her. She knew her wife thought the same even though she hadn’t said it out loud. “There’s no need to judge me!”

“I wasn’t judging you, Camila. We’re not here to judge. We’re here to fix what needs to be fixed,” Lauren took her wife’s hands into hers and tried to calm her down. “And if you think there’s something to be fixed between you and your daughter, there’s still time,” the doctor stated calmly as she looked at the mother.

Chelsea took a small break for Camila to collect herself before they continued with the session.

“Okay, so last week, I brought up the topic of how Camila’s departure affects both parties,” she looked at the couple. “I’ll like for both of you to face each other and say how it affects you.” Doctor Briggs gestured for Camila to go first. “Why don’t we start with you, Camila?”

The brunette sighed and turned in her seat to look at her wife who was already staring at her intently. “Um…well it’s hard for me to leave you and it’s even harder for me to leave Izzy. I know you may not think that, but it does in fact hurt to leave the two of you. When I’m on tour, I keep wishing that I could be back home, or have the two of you there with me,” the green eyed woman took her wife’s hand in hers. “I know things aren’t okay between us and I really don’t know if things would go back to the way it was…but you need to know that I don’t like leaving Lauren.”

The couple had been too invested in one another to notice that Chelsea was busy writing as Camila had been speaking.

“I try to make time to talk to you, believe me, I do but sometimes, I’m so busy.”

Doctor Briggs interjected. “And how does it make you feel when you can’t get to talk to your wife? Or your child as much as you’ll like to?”

Camila sighed and pulled her hand out of her wife’s hand. “It’s really hard and it hurts me a lot. I don’t want you to think that I don’t want to talk to either of you, but my work and my fans are important to me too.”

Lauren looked at her wife and nodded. She knew that Camila’s fans meant the world to her, but what about her family? Did they really have to take second place to strangers?

“Okay. And Lauren? How does it feel to be away from your wife?” The therapist directed the question to the other woman.

“It’s really shitty. Whoops,” she looked at Chelsea. “Can I say shitty?” The blonde smiled and nodded. “Anyway, yeah. It’s really shitty. Especially since we’ve spent so many years together, I grew accustomed to having her with me all the time. Even though things are rocky between us, I’ll still like to have my wife home with me and our daughter. I miss you when you’re not here, Camz.”

The singer couldn’t find it within her to look her wife in the eyes, but Lauren tilted her face. “I understand why you do what you do, Camz, but we’re you’re family. At the ending of the day, when the spotlight fades, when your fame is all but washed up; I’m not saying that it’s going to happen,” she cut her wife off because she was going to protest. “I’m just saying that as a family, we’re down for you since day one and we’re going to be here for you in the end.”

Camila sighed heavily and nodded.

“And how does Camila not being here affect Izzy? Does she say or react any particular way?”

Lauren didn’t want to have to answer this question. She knew her wife would’ve felt guilty, but to make their relationship better again, they had to be open about these things.

“Lauren?” her wife asked when she realized the woman was just staring blankly at her.

The photographer cleared her throat. “She misses you a lot when you’re gone and she constantly asks me when you’ll come home. I hear her in her room sometimes crying…” when she looked at her wife, she saw the broken expression etched on her face. “When I come in and ask her what’s wrong, she says that she thinks you leave because it’s her fault and that you won’t come back. But I tell her that you would,” she grabbed Camila’s hand. “And when you’re home, it’s the happiest she ever is. She loves when you’re home, Camz. She loves you so much.”

Camila pulled away from Lauren. “Why would she even miss me, Lauren? She has Hailee remember? Hailee actually knows her. While me, her own mother doesn’t!”

Doctor Briggs had been constantly taking notes on the couple’s interaction. She noticed that everything leads back to Hailee somehow. No matter what they were talking about, Camila would find a way to bring this unknown woman into the picture.

“Are you freaking kidding me, Camila?! We’re trying to focus on us as a family and there you go again! Bringing Hailee into everything!”

Chelsea cleared her throat to grab the couple’s attention. “How does Izzy react to seeing Camila on tv? I’m sure you look at her performances from time to time,” the photographer nodded. “How do you deal with the situation when she misses Camila?”

Calming herself down, Lauren sighed. “Yeah uh she doesn’t take her eyes off the television when Camila comes on. Sometimes she’ll walk up towards the tv and rest her hands on it, or kiss the television. I guess it’s her idea of trying to be close to Camila when she’s not here,” the therapist wrote something down. “And most times, when she misses her mother, I tell her stories about her, we look at pictures or I try to take her mind off Camila for a while and we go do something fun.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this before, Lauren?” Camila asked a bit irritated that her wife kept something like this from her. Their daughter was hurting and she had no idea. “She’s my daughter too!”

The photographer rolled her eyes. “And what would you have done, Camila? Are you planning on taking a hiatus? It’s not like you would’ve ditched your job earlier and stayed here to be with, Izzy. So you shouldn’t get mad!”

“I have every right to get mad! She’s my daughter and whatever it is that’s affecting her, I should be made aware of it! Just because you think I don’t care about her or you, doesn’t make it true!” Camila yelled out in frustration.

Chelsea placed her clipboard on the table next to her before addressing the couple. “Well, now that we’ve heard both sides, I think we can better assess the situation at hand.” Camila and Lauren turned to face the therapist. “As partners, it’s clear to me that you both miss each other and need to improve on your communication skills,” she turned to look at the singer. “You need to put aside some time, no matter how busy you are, you need to make some time for your family. Because as you can see, it’s having a negative effect on both your partner and child.” Then she looked at the other woman. “And you, Lauren, you need to be more open with your partner. Even if it’s something you think that’s going to hurt her feelings; you’re both married. There shouldn’t be any secrets between the two of you. Especially when it comes to your child. Even though Camila may be far away, she still needs to be involved in Isabella’s upbringing.”

The couple both nodded. What Doctor Briggs said had hit a nerve. Camila was in fact slacking when it came to spending time with her family, even though she may not be there with them physically. And Lauren, needed to involve her wife more when it came to their lives even though she wasn’t there.

The timer went off signalling that their therapy session was now over.

“Well it looks like that’s it for now,” Doctor Briggs addressed the couple. “I regret to inform you, that today would be our last session for the year. I’ll have my secretary email you two when the next session will be.” Camila sighed happily. She was drained from all the communicating with her wife today and she was glad she didn’t have to do this for some time again. “But I have an assignment for you two. During our time apart, I’ll like you both to spend as much time as you can together as a family. Seeing that Christmas is coming up and Isabella would be out of school, I’ll like for the three of you to do Christmas shopping, tree hunting, carolling, whatever it is that you do, but you must do it together.”

The couple agreed. This assignment didn’t sound too bad. Right?

They bade Doctor Briggs farewell and headed back on their way to their daughter.

This therapy session seemed to have given the couple a better understanding of each other’s feelings. Lauren had previously thought that it was easy for Camila to leave them all the time, but she was very wrong.

Meanwhile, Camila was still very much broken that she was causing her daughter so much pain. Did she really think that she wouldn’t come back to her? The brunette was definitely going to try to make a better effort to make her child know that no matter what she’ll always come back to her.

***

Welp. It’s been a while. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Wattpad: Commander_Camren

[dreaminglesbian]

So this is the end of the year meme I’ve been doing since ‘10! I’ve been doing it on LJ tho, but since I never go on there anymore I have been bringing it to tumblr!

I am tagging all my followers and friends to do this! Cause I always have a lot of fun doing this! 

END OF THE YEAR FANDOM MEME 2017!

Your main fandom of the year?

Definitely Shadowhunters! I was watching other shows and movies (obviously) but I wouldn’t say I was really part of other fandoms. I was super into fashion models and style this year but I wouldn’t say I was apart of any fandom.

Your favourite film watched this year?

I enjoyed a lot of Marvel movies this year. I always love, love, love Thor so I was happy to see Thor: Ragnarok! I also loved Spider-Man: Homecoming, it was so cute! I also loved The Lego Batman Movie, Coco and Beauty and the Beast. I would say I really, really love all these movies. 

I also watched a lot of indie gay films this year and I really enjoyed a lot of them. I don’t think any of them were the highlights of 2017 for me though.

Your favourite book read this year?

(I actually read more than usual this year, yay!)

I loved Boy Erased: A Memoir! It was very intense but it really sticks with you. I really learned a lot and I would love to read more by this author. I also loved Call me by Your Name! It was so beautifully written and I recommend reading it in the summer time. I loved Crazy Rich Asians, I think it deserves to be mentioned as one of the standout novels in the romantic fiction genre (along with Bridget Jones and Shopaholic, that’s high praise from me lol!). Also super loved The Miseducation of Cameron Post and I also loved volume one of the Captive Prince. I’m so happy I read so many books I enjoyed this year, I read more I could mention but these were the highlights for me.

Your favourite album or song to listen to this year?

Oh man, it feels like a lot of music came out this year, especially as a One Direction fan. Obviously honorable mentions that all five guys of 1D had music out this year so that’s exciting. I wouldn’t really say any of their music was my FAVE this year but I enjoyed all of it.

Favourite album is probably Taylor Swift’s Reputation album, that’s an obvious answer from me lol.  

I really liked all the slow jams Ed Sheeran did, I liked all the songs Selena Gomez put out. I really like the song ‘I Like me Better’ by Lauv! I liked the Coco soundtrack and the songs from Lego Batman lol. I realized I enjoy a lot of songs by Charlie Puth. I really liked listening to ‘Say You Love Me’ by Jessie Ware and ‘Saturn’ by Sleeping at Last. I also listened to the Book of Mormon soundtrack a lot this year. I also loved ‘Whistle’ by Black Pink! I also loved the songs Fifth Harmony put out this year (I will say I am disappointed in a lot of their live performances lately though)

Also shout out to Thief by Ansel Elgort for just existing lol.

Your favourite TV shows of the year?

Shadowhunters, lol! I just can’t get enough of that show! I enjoy Shadowhunters as a cheesy fantasy teen show but this year it was actually genuinely good. What a strange thing for a big fan to say lol.

Obviously as a Trek fan, Star Trek Discovery as well! That’s really exciting for a new Trek fan like me who never got to watch a weekly Star Trek show as it aired. It feels like a big blessing to have new Trek every week. 

I loved the Bold Type, ughhhh super super love that one. I also zoomed through The L Word this year. It’s not perfect (at all) but having six seasons of lesbian content is very nice. Also loved Wynonna Earp, as a Canadian lesbian sci-fi fan one couldn’t ask for a more fitting show lol!

I also really love watching Difficult People, SKAM (!!! I super loved SKAM !!!), RuPaul’s Drag Race and The Shannara Chronicles! I also am really enjoying Runaways and The Good Place. 

Your best new TV discovery of the year?

Definitely Star Trek Discovery. Also pretty much all the shows I just mentioned, a lot of them were new (to me at least) this year. 

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?

I actually was like genuinely disappointed by the people of fandom this year sometimes more than the shows. Lemme start off, it is really nice not being in a fandom dedicated to real people (One Direction), even though I miss One Direction EVERYDAY. It’s nice to be upset with fictional characters lol.

First off obviously Dominic Sherwood using the F slur on the Matt Daddario official Shadowhunters livestream. My mind honestly goes back and fourth from being furious about how the show handled it, how Matt reacted and that it happened. Another part of me thinks maybe the show handled it okay and Matt’s reaction was fine. I’m honestly not sure but I really hate that it happened. I’m not super in the Shadowhunters fandom but I dabble in it sometimes and I really enjoy how undramatic this show is for me. Apart of me is like ‘Karma’s got it’s kiss for me’ and ‘we live, baby’ @ Dominic Sherwood LOL! Another part of me is like if I had never heard him say that everything would be peaceful.

The people in Shadowhunters fandom were in a big divide over this. Some were furious like I was and wanted this show that is so much for the LGBT community to show some action. While other fans who weren’t mad thought the fans who were angry were being babies. I think to see a show that is so much for gay fans to also have so many fans who are okay with this behaviour is a huge disappointment. Also how some fans of Magnus/Alec were completely fine with the word.

I noticed in a few fandoms how much straight fans think they are battling their straight ships against the gay ships. Like “ugh we watched all the scenes of the gay ship together, let us have some air time!” which is probably the most baffling thing I’ve heard. 

RIVERDALE. I loved Riverdale season one, LOVED IT. For the second season the HETEROSEXUALITY was in full force. (do you like how I’m mad about the hets when I just complained about it not being a competition? lol) That show is NEXT LEVEL heterosexuality lol. I’m totally okay with Betty/Veronica never being canon and I just ship them as femslash. It’s not very fun though that every time they are together they are talking about their boyfriends. The straight couples on this show are A LOT, like every show has straight characters but this show really rubs me the wrong way. Also the way they handled Kevin and Toni and yet the show thinks they are doing a dandy job with all this “diversity”. ANYWAYS.

I was disappointed in the people in fandom this year for a few reasons. Young fandom (seems to be young people in fandom at least) have different thoughts than I do I guess. They are very quick to claim (this is gonna get WILD fast) pedophilia. Which if we all claim that really quickly it loses the severity of those claims. Young fandom in cartoon fandoms like Yuri!!! On Ice or Voltron do this a lot. Also they are going by American standards of eighteen years old being the age of consent. It’s a messy situation.

Also how quick fandom (usually young fans again) are to claim incest. If two characters are adopted they treat it like incest even though they aren’t blood related. It’s messyyyyyy.

Also how young people in fandom super want characters to commit and get married??? This happens a lot with Magnus/Alec in Shadowhunters. Alec is literally in his first relationship and everyone is like MARRIAGE NOW, which boggles my mind. Honestly I love Magnus and Alec with my ENTIRE LIFE FORCE lol but it would make sense if they broke up for a bit and Alec dated someone else. Cause he’s YOUNG and never been with anyone else! It’s like Tidus in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt when he explains how gay virgins cling and commit fast lol. This is the same with Alex/Maggie from Supergirl which brings me to my next point lol!

Alex and Maggie started off SO good! The show was kind of... confusing with how they handled their relationship I guess. Maggie lied about cheating on her ex girlfriend and also lied about how coming out to her parents went. I love Maggie, I SUPER love Maggie but this stuff is really big to lie about. Alex was very mature and forgave her and then they got ENGAGED? Like Alex literally figured out her sexuality like SEVEN weeks ago and now she is proposing to Maggie? Even after Maggie just lied about things? All the fans were very happy which made me feel like a sour person that I wasn’t happy. 

I was also disappointed in Supergirl for how much of this latest season has been Kara being sad over Mon-el. Like Supergirl is one of the few female lead super hero shows that I don’t want to abandon it but it’s really getting RIDICULOUS with all the relationship talk on that show! I’m really mad at Kara’s character for how she is handling Mon-el. Honestly though ALL the female characters on that show are nonstop failing the Bechdel test and I may have to give it up. 

Also Teen Wolf ending with a whimper, not a bang. Empire having continuity errors and handling sensitive situations poorly. Sense8 being cancelled, Quentin Tarantino apparently directing a Star Trek movie?? Also sometimes I think Harry Shum Jr. and Matt Daddario really need to GO FOR IT when they have romantic scenes together.

OH MAN APPARENTLY A LOT OF DISAPPOINTMENT THIS YEAR LOL

Your TV boyfriend of the year?

(I always count this as fave males of the year lol) Robin from Lego Batman lol! Also Alec, Magnus and Simon from Shadowhunters. Peter Parker from Spiderman: Homecoming, super cute! Thor and Loki from Thor as well.

Your TV girlfriend of the year?

I super loved Maia Roberts/the actress, Alisha Wainwright from this year. Alisha, you can slide into my DMs, I’m ready lol. Also Clary and Izzy along with the actress who play them from Shadowhunters. I also super loved Sofia Boutella this year along with Alicia Vikander. I liked the celebrities Dove Cameron, Sofia Carson, Dua Lipa, Taylor Hill, Vanessa Morgan,  Ivana Baquero,  Natalie Alyn Lind, Kylie Jenner, Camila Mendes, Poppy Drayton, Lili Reinhart, Madelaine Petsch, and Selena Gomez. Also loved Mantis from Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Valkyrie from Thor: Ragnarok and Michael from Star Trek: Discovery ! (as well as a lot of others tbh)  

Your biggest squee moment of the year?

TOM HOLLAND ON LIP SYNC BATTLE!!

Moonlight rightfully winning the Academy Award and not LaLa Land! (”As you can see I’m driving through the city having a fucking BLAST, baby!” - Snoop Dogg gif)

Also that I met three people who have worked or know people on Shadowhunters! The perks of being a fan of a show that films in the city you live in! lol

Oh man, probably the flashback episode of Shadowhunters that showcased all the Magnus/Alec scenes! Oh man, I wanted to fall to the FLOOR, I was JAZZED! #Blessed

Also Clary/Izzy had a LOT of good scenes in this season of Shadowhunters so that was awesome! 

Disney’s Descendants 2 really WENT THERE with the femslash for Evie/Mal! That was awesome! Seeing young fans try to say “noooo they are just friends” in the youtube comments on the song ‘Space Between’ was a real fun time lol! Yeah I was super pleased with that.

I went to Fan Expo, as usual, but this year the Star Trek: discovery cast was there as well as a panel on the production of the show. That was really special, especially that I got to go with my Trek friends.

Seeing Thor: Ragnarok and the THOR/LOKI, I was watching their scenes with my hands on my heart lol! 

Stamets and Culber being cuties on Star Trek: Discovery! Also shout out to the Wonder Woman movie. Also how alive Korean Star Trek fandom is lol. I also REALLY enjoyed a lot of fan made content this year like fan videos and fan art!

The most missed of your old fandoms?

One Direction and 2009 Star Trek fandom as usual. It’s crazy looking back on these memes and seeing One Direction joining this section of the questions. I don’t miss aspects of One Direction fandom but I do miss the band (ot5).

The TV you haven’t tried yet, but want to?

I’m excited for Grown-ish!

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?

I’M HEADED TO SAN DIEGO COMIC CON THIS YEAR!!!

More Star Trek: Discovery and Shadowhunters episodes! Seeing the lesbian plot develop on Runaways. 

I’m excited for Avengers: Infinity War, Black Panther, Ocean’s 8, Pacific Rim Uprising, Maze Runner: The Death Cure, and the next Fantastic Beasts (especially if Ezra Miller’s character lives). My wife, Alicia Vikander in Tomb Raider!!

Also a lot of gay films like Love, Simon and The Miseducation of Cameron Post! I think there will be a lot more to look forward to as the year goes on.

Fave ships of 2017?

Alec/Magnus (Shadowhunters)

Clary/Izzy (Shadowhunters)

Betty/Veronica (Riverdale)

Stamets/Culber (Star Trek: Discovery)

Thor/Loki (Marvel)

(Peter Parker/Any male from The Avengers TBH.......)

There are a few others I shipped this year but I would say these are the highlights. 

Most listened to songs of the year

(This is from my itunes)

1. I Like Me Better - Lauv 

2. Don’t Blame Me - Taylor Swift

3. End Game - Taylor Swift

4. I Did Something Bad - Taylor Swift

5. Still Falling for You - Ellie Goulding

6. ...Ready For It? - Taylor Swift

7. Delicate -  Taylor Swift

8. Dress - Taylor Swift

9. Space Between - Disney Descendants 2

10. Slumber Party - Britney Spears ft. Tinashe

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

If you read all this you are a saint, bored or a super close friend lol! Thank you, thank you for reading! 

[curlyblackspaghetti-blog]

Teenage pregnancy

The main causes of teenage pregnancy

1.   Lack of education on safe sex - Unwanted teenage pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases arise from a lack of education. When teenagers are lacking any knowledge on safe sex, they will still be doing it, just in totally the wrong ways. For many parents and adults it can be hard letting go of their children and opening the door into adult knowledge. But its totally necessary for proper development. As well as physical health issues, mentally its very damaging for a child to not be properly educated on sex. We are living in a society in which porn has fast become incredibly accessible. In a situation where a child's knowledge on sex is full of uncertainty, porn should not be the natural filler. In my opinion, porn creates a culture of not only shaming women and objectifying them, but encouraging sexual assault. For a teenager to watch porn following a lack of education on safe sex is mentally, extremely damaging. My main issue with the sex education within schools is how heteronormative it is. It's just assumued that students are heterosexual. You'd think that with the societal progressions we've made, we as teenagers would be taught about sex between same sex couples. However during my sex education lessons, same sex relationships were never even mentioned. Even in cases where sex wasn't being discussed, it was just never brought up as an example of a relationship. I can't even begin to explain how damaging this is to young, impressionable teenagers, especially ones who are struggling to come to terms with their sexuality. They'll have so many unanswered questions and none of them will be answered in these safe spaces that are dedicated to education. Molly Thompson ( Intersectional Feminist, Social Activist, Writer and proud Hufflepuff )

-       Llack of compulsory sex and relationships education has created a ‘ticking sexual health time bomb’, town hall chiefs have warned.The Local Government Association (LGA) said too many youngsters are still being diagnosed with sexually transmitted infections (STIs) due to poor information in schools.Official figures show there were 78,066 STI diagnoses among 15 to 19-year-olds in England in 2015, and 141,060 among 20 to 24-year-olds. The LGA, which represents local authorities, urged the Education Secretary to make sex education mandatory in all secondary schools to combat the ‘shockingly high’ number of cases.Justine Greening has already indicated she will consider making the subject mandatory, although parents would still retain the right to withdraw their children from classes.Currently, only council-maintained secondaries must teach the subject – although many academies and free schools also so do voluntarily. However, standards vary widely between schools and some very religious ones choose not to teach it at all.The LGA said age-appropriate sex and relationships education should be an essential part of the curriculum for young people.It said local authorities have responsibility for public health, budgeting around £600 million a year for sexual health, and without proper classes, pupils are not being properly prepared for adulthood. Izzi Seccombe, chairman of the LGA’s community wellbeing board, said: ‘This is a major health protection issue.‘The lack of compulsory sex and relationship education in academies and free schools is storing up problems for later on in life, creating a ticking sexual health time bomb, as we are seeing in those who have recently left school. ‘The shockingly high numbers of STI diagnoses in teenagers and young adults, particularly in the immediate post-school generation, is of huge concern to councils. ‘The evidence suggests that when designed and delivered in the right way, sex and relationships education can have a really positive impact on a pupil’s development. ‘However, we are also conscious that some parents may wish to remove their children from this, which is why we are saying there should also be provision for parents to opt their children out of lessons, if they consider this to be in the best interests of their child.’ It is understood Ms Greening is considering making the subject compulsory to tackle online grooming, sexting and youngsters viewing internet porn. A number of MPs from different parties have come out in support of the measure. Former Cabinet ministers Dominic Grieve, Nicky Morgan, Maria Miller, Dame Caroline Spelman and former Children’s minister Tim Loughton are understood to be backing the change. At least seven Labour MPs - Sarah Champion, Graham Allen and Jon Cruddas - are said to be in support of it, as is a DUP MP Jim Shannon. The change to the National Curriculum - which would be the biggest overhaul of sex education for 17 years - is proposed in an amendment to the Children and Social Work Bill which was published in the House of Commons last week. A Department for Education spokesman said: ‘High-quality education on sex and relationships is a vital part of preparing young people for success in adult life. ‘It is compulsory in all maintained secondary schools and, as the Education Secretary said recently, we are looking at options to ensure all children have access to high-quality teaching in these subjects.

BY: ELEANOR HARDING FOR THE DAILY MAIL

2.    Media, peer, and family influences as risk factors - Media portrayals influence teen sexual behaviours. Glamorous television and magazine shots of ‘famous’ pregnant teens influence teens to engage in sexual activity and become pregnant themselves. Some teens decide to get pregnant so they can drop out of school. Girls who have lived in foster care have double the teen pregnancy rate of peers outside the foster care system. Girls whose fathers are in the home as they grow up are less likely to become teen parents. Ignorance of effective contraceptives leads to teen pregnancy. Some teens get pregnant in order to force a sexual partner into more commitment. Some are defiantly rebelling against what they perceive as overly strict parental rules. Some are engaged in sexual behaviours but lack knowledge about how to obtain contraceptives to prevent pregnancy, while others are pressured by their sexual partners not to use condoms. Thus, many factors are involved in teen pregnancy and many strategies need to be considered in attempts to decrease rates (Honig, 1984Honig, A.S. 1984. Developmental effects on children of pregnant adolescents [research review].  The biggest risk for teen mothers is delaying prenatal care. In the USA, ‘7.2% received no care at all’ (Weiss, 2011Weiss, R.E. (2011, December 22). Teen pregnancy. Retrieved  Some reasons for lack of care are teen denial of the pregnancy and fear of telling parents. Very young teens have a higher chance of pregnancy and birth complications. So do teens who smoke, since birth weights are lower for smoking mothers. In a UK study, mothers who smoked prenatally had children with lower reading scores in the fourth grade; and the more packs smoked during pregnancy, the stronger the difficulties later on. Drug use is another high-risk factor for difficulties in birth outcomes for pregnant women. The Kaiser Permanente Early Start programme in California helps women stop substance abuse during pregnancy and estimates that such prenatal intervention programmes could save $2 billion annually

-       The social causation model, Conger explained, provides a framework for considering the way in which economic disadvantage and social conditions affect family functioning and the ways that children develop. Recent studies have provided evidence that economic factors influence families. Costello and colleagues (2003), for example, found that children whose families were lifted out of poverty when a gambling casino opened on an Indian reservation showed improvement in both psychiatric symptoms and conduct problems. Specifically, this study found that externalizing signs, including such behavior disorders as conduct disorder, improved, but that families’ improved economic circumstances did not affect the rate of internalizing psychiatric problems, such as depression. The researchers concluded that the improvements came about in part because of improved parenting practices. Experimental studies, such as the New Hope study (Huston et al., 2003), have also shown that interventions that increased employment and reduced poverty resulted in similar improvements. Researchers have described three primary models for thinking about how economic factors influence families: the family stress model, the investment model, and the interactionist model. Research on the family stress model goes back to the 1930s, Conger said, and has since been well replicated using many samples from diverse backgrounds. It is based on evidence from both human and animal studies that punishing experiences, such as economic pressure,1exacerbate negative affect, which can take many forms, such as despondency, depression, anger, or aggression (Berkowitz, 1969). These sorts of emotions can disrupt family relationships. The effect of the hardship depends on the way it affects daily life—in other words, the emotional response of the family and the individual are what determines the psychological effect of the event. When parents become depressed, angry, and sullen with one another and have increased conflict, the result is often harsh and inconsistent parenting or withdrawal. For adolescents, that can mean increases in risky behavior and less development of the sorts of competencies that protect them from those risks. Conger observed that other sorts of distress may also affect families in the same way. That is, when stress and challenge are high for parents, they generally have an increase in emotional and behavioral problems, which in turn affect family functioning and increase risks for children. The model, which is consistent with findings from numerous studies (Conger et al., 2010;Conger and Conger, 2008; Conger and Donnellan, 2007), is illustrated in Figure 5-1. Some interventions based on this model have focused on improving families’ economic circumstances. However, although the downward spiral can occur very quickly, such interventions work much more slowly. Thus, in Conger’s view, interventions that reduce the harm during the economic transition are also needed. Promising targets include: The family stress model of economic hardship. SOURCE: Conger and Conger, 2008. Reproduced with permission from Sage Publications. Copyright © 2008 by Sage.

Reducing parental distress,

Reducing parental conflict and relationship     difficulties,

Promoting effective parenting, and

Incorporating the children’s perspectives, that is,     encouraging them to feel that they are part of the solution to the     family’s difficulties.

While these approaches appear to hold promise, Conger identified areas in which further research is needed. For example, not enough is known about potentially lasting effects of hardship experienced by young children and how they might affect adolescent behavior and risk-taking. The role of self-regulatory and personality processes, which can play a protective role, could also be better understood.

3.    Alcohol and teen pregnancy

- Heavy drinking can lead to teen pregnancy. Teachers in a health course for teens need to explain clearly how different the brain is when a teen drinks heavily. Weekend drinking contests are frequent for some teens. The teenage brain seems to be less reactive to alcohol's short-term effects. Yet, for teens, alcohol impairs the memory system in the hippocampus and severely limits the ability of the frontal lobes to carry out thoughtful and logical thinking. ‘Without mature frontal lobes, young people are less able to weigh negatives consequences and inhibit impulsive behavior like binge drinking … Binge drinking can lead to unsafe sex and unwanted pregnancy’

A teen couple came to ask me whether the beer party they had attended a few weeks before where they had more than 12 beers each would affect the embryo of an early pregnancy they now found themselves facing, a few weeks after that party.

- Substance use among adolescents increases the risk of unplanned pregnancies, which then increases the risk of fetal exposure to addictive, teratogenic substances. Specific interventions are necessary to target pregnancy planning and contraception among reproductive age substance users. Screening for substance use using the CRAFFT is recommended in all health care settings treating adolescent patients. Screening for tobacco and nicotine use is also recommended along with provision of smoking cessation interventions. Using motivational interviewing style and strategies is recommended to engage adolescents in discussions related to reducing substance use, risky sexual behavior, and probability of unplanned pregnancy or late-detection pregnancy. Earlier interventions that strengthen autonomy and resourcefulness in recognizing and caring for an unplanned conception is a form of advanced directive that may well reduce fetal exposure to tobacco, alcohol, and drugs and simultaneously empower girls and women in self-care