#Ive had this in my drafts 4 2 months im not working on it any more than this. lmfao

[grimxark]

[rqbossman]

Hello Mr Bossman! (and possibly anyone else who reads this)

Its an honour to be here, I have a few questions. First i appologise for the long paragraph, you may dismiss it for the questions at the bottom. For context, i am here after finishing TMA and being up to date with TMAP, i then went over and listened to RQG, and have just finished listening to Epilogue 3 and might i just say, good sir I am grateful for your podcasts. I am currently just a few months away from my final exams of High School, and as someone who even just 1 year ago was very lost, struggling with school and being just overwhelmed. TMA isnt exactly comforting, but the characters and plot managed to serve as a good form of escapism while sorting myself out. I found my self engaging more in creative things that i had originally put aside in favour of maths and science (which i hated but thought i needed to do). I started drawing again, even if just fanart. and i found things going well. By finding podcasts, story telling and these communities have helped me in my own understanding of what i want in life. I got an ADHD diagnosis earlier this year, and almost directly after started RQG and as my first hyperfixation (that i was aware of as an hyperfixation) gosh dang it hit hard. (in a good way). Ive been able to do so much more creative writing and drawings, and got re-involved with a small dnd group with some friends who i played one game with almost 4 years ago now. So overall, inspirational sounds cringe, but it was. Im doing my best with the upcoming exams, but trying to get in to Medicine is not my only prority, and the fact ive been re-introduced to my first love (Literature and story telling), im planning to go do an Arts degree and i know i wouldnt have been able to confidently make this decision, or even have survived this long in the school system without the work you and your coworkers do. Now the sap is out of the way, Question time! (if you could answer even just one of these questions it would be so cool)(they go in order of RQ relevant to random stuff)(dont feel pressured to answer all/any. i know i wrote alot): 1. what would you say is the best way to draft out a long-form story. (with "Erasing the Line" as an example) Did you start at the end, with the links to the overarching plot.

2. When working with the players (in a form of TTRPG), what did you do to make sure you didnt miss relevant timing of plot points/ avoid creating spoilers while still giving enough detail?

3. What are good places to start with making a job out of storytelling/voice acting/audio etc. In the case of RQ, how is this a job and where do i sign up please! /j (what i mean is, how is best way/how did you find all the people involved and was there a common path that you were all on before getting to where you are now?) 4. Do you have recommendations for Terry Pratchett Books, i may be an literary-leaning student, but it seems i have never actually properly read any of his books. so where is best place to start?/What did you read first?

5. Similar authors or similar inspirations? Did you have a favourite podcast you listen to in your free time that you havnt had a hand in producing/directing/working on. 6. Favourite song/album/artist. And more specifically, what you like listening to in background when doing either writing or (for ttrpg) character research/game planing. 7. Since the olympics are on at the moment, what has been your favourite sport to watch, if you have been watching at all. Thank you for your time :)

Thankyou for all the kind words. Knowing our work is helping people really keeps our engines fired up. Let's see if I can't answer your questions: 1. I "sandbox" which is where I just shove everything I can think of into an unorganised bullet point list. Characters, setting, plot, all of it in one big mess. Then I decide what type of story you want to tell, copy and paste to a new document and then start to organise the thoughts (with the sandbox on standby if new stuff comes in I don't know what to do with). I think of it like scultping, you cut away bits and reshape until something comes out the other end that is story shaped. Only then do I attempt to build the sandcastle and put something coherant together like a synopsis or scratch draft etc.

2. Very tricky. I did a complete review and update of all notes after each recording session and don't forget the audio eas edited. I made lots of gaffs that you never heard as audience.

3. I contacted anyone I could convince to take part and just proved I was serious by overworking. I don't reccomend that route. Unfortunately it really is "who" you know. That doesn't mean chase established professionals as much as it means you need to get out there and associate with other up-and-comers who match your vibe. For me the route was long and windy and not a particularly good example. 4. I normally recommend people do not read his books in publication order. Don't get me wrong, its wonderful watching his craft grow from one title to the next but I would recommend new readers tip their toe into his later works to see if they like where he ended up before committing the time. I often recommend 'Monstrous Regiment' as people's first one. My favourite though is 'Thief of Time.'

5. I don't get much time to listen to podcasts in the last couple of years. I used to listen to a lot of non fiction. 'Stuff you Should Know' and that ilk. I also read a fair amount of classic YA fiction to unwind (Windinsger trilogy, Bartimeous, stuff like that.) 6. Paul Simon's Graceland but when working I assemble a playlist for each seperate project that is tonally appropriate. If I really need to focus I listen to Classical Minimalism. Or the Old School Runescape soundtrack. I'm allowed to be ecclectic. 7. I am actually in an incredibly busy work crunch at the moment so haven't seen any of it!

[mifhortunach]

another year, another buncha stuff I mostly don't remember drawing [template]

[nezumionice]

GOOD EVENING THIS SUNDAY NIGHT I BRING YOU NO TSARITO CHAPTER BUT I DO HOWEVER HAVE SOMETHING ELSE IN REGARDS TO THAT:

✨THE POSTING SCHEDULE✨

YES. I HAVE NOT ABANDONED MY BABY. and i know i kept saying there are 4 chapters left but now that i have meticulously spent the past WEEK planning this story out on 26 wholeass scene cards and 2 different notebooks, i can confirm there are instead 6 chapters left.

this is due to the amount of EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE and tough conversations these characters will have now that we are in the resolution,, yall will not be able to handle the sheer DENSITY of these scenes ok. someone's got some atoning to do and the war might be over but things aren't gonna get easier for our redeemed boy 👁️👁️

anyways, i hope you guys are still excited because ive worked rly hard on this for the past 9 months now and im actually really proud of it so if you guys are still out there waiting for an update 🥺🥺 i love u for sticking around so long and i hope i don't let you down!! i promise you the ending is epic,, i pitched it to my friend the other day and i had the pleasure of watching her flip her absolutely shit on the video call,, i cannot wait for you guys to read it too 🤩 ANYWAYS WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE BE THE SCHEDULE:

CHAPTER 27 - OCT 17

CHAPTER 28 - OCT 24

CHAPTER 29 - NOV 7

CHAPTER 30 - NOV 14

PROLOGUE - DEC 18

EPILOGUE - DEC 25

as i think ive mentioned, i won't be uploading any of the chapters until ive finished the entire story so i split the work for the next 22 days and i'll be done by earliest 1st October. as of now i do have chapter 27 complete in my drafts ehueheueheh but yall gon have to wait a lil longer i promise it will be worth it

and yes, the epilogue will be coming to yall on christmas 🥰🥰 a little gift from me to you, for the last time during the entire span of this fic. also meaningful bc it comes full circle from when the first chapter was uploaded (christmas day 2019)!!

anyways that's it for my little author's note today 💓 stay safe everyone and i'll see you guys real soon ;-D

[thesunnyshow]

Name: reya

Writing Blog URL(s): @chu-ni

Age: 19

Nationality: african-british

Languages: english, swahili, korean

Star Sign: libra

MBTI: enfp/entp (it always changes lol)

Favorite color: purple!

Favorite food: i really love chicken burgers

Favorite movie: princess and the frog

Favorite ice cream flavor: vanilla!!

Favorite animal: elephants

Go-to karaoke song: fancy - twice

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? caramel frappe with whipped cream, in general i prefer tea though

Dream job (whether you have a job or not)? secretary general at the UN….or an author

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? making anyone agree with me and do what i want them to do

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? ancient egypt!!

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?.....no.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? neither if i could lmfao but i’d go for 100 chicken sized horses

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? the nerd who’s actually really pretty after she gets a cool makeover 

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? im not sure about aliens, but i definitely believe in ghosts and spirits.

What are some small things that make your day better? when i can have moments to myself to enjoy my own company. or when someone asks me what i want to eat and they bring it for me 🥺

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? uhm…...probably the fact that i write fanfiction lol..but outside of that! i sing in the shower. and i talk to myself a lot.

What fandom(s) do you write for? nct dream currently, but in the future i want to expand to other groups!

When did you post your first piece? 17th of June 2018.

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? i can never write just one genre. predominantly i write fluff with a dash of angst for spice simply because i love a story that has an issue and then having that issue be resolved for a happy ending. when i started my blog i was 17, and so i said i wouldn't write smut. now that i'm older im feeling more and more comfortable writing suggestive content at the very LEAST.. so maybe in the future i might write smut, who knows? i like writing fluff because i like making people feel good, but i like adding angst to it because i feel like the contrast between the two is very *chefs kiss* to me.

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? i only write x readers!

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? i first got tumblr when i was 13 years old and i was a fresh kpop fan lmfao. i wanted somewhere that shared my interests. of course i discovered x reader fics on here and i was in awe, i guess of how much power writers had in contributing to fandom content and keeping readers satiated. i’d always loved to write and so i’d always wanted to start my own writing blog, and for 2 years i did write for other blogs! it wasnt until 2018 that i finally took the leap and decided to start my own, because i wanted to impact people's emotions and take them on a journey through my writing.

What inspires you to write? what inspires me….teen movies, music!! music is a big one for me, and also the books that i read. i also grew up playing otome games so the plots and writing from those influence my writing a lot.

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? i really enjoy writing royalty!aus as well as exes!aus. i love to do them cause they require me to build a world and with royalty aus specifically i love weaving together bits of political intrigue, or arranged marriages, etc. its so much fun!!

What do you hope your readers take away from your work? that if this world is too rough or too much, you can always escape from it. it might not be physical, but immersing yourself in a universe that's entirely different for a little while can help soothe you.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? usually i try and take breaks. the problem with that is that my breaks can go on for longer than i’d like and im trying to fix that. so my other solution is to read read read!! read as much as i can, or go back to books that i loved. ask myself what i liked about the writing, what are some parts that i thought were amazing examples of good writing - i note them down then see if i can apply that to my own work. another thing i do is take a break from writing my longer, fleshed out works and write blurbs! blurbs are a great way for me to write but not feel like its tedious because i don't have to spend as much time on them and it gets me into the groove of writing without feeling stressed out.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? my favourite piece of work is miscommunication. it took me months to write that, even after i lost all the work halfway through, and its the longest piece of work i have written so far, so its kinda like my baby. my most successful is candy jar. its also the work i owe my blog exposure to - it was the first piece i published, and it was also the first piece of writing i did in around 4 years.

Who is your favorite person to write about? i don't have much out for them, but i really enjoy exploring mark’s and jeno’s characters. they're people, but in my work i enjoy analysing them and judging how they’d act in different contexts.

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? the only difference for me is that fanfiction (depending on the fandom) has some of the stuff fleshed out for you already, such as the world its in. if youre the type to write AUs then the only thing you already have is the characters - the planning, the writing, the drafting, and everything else is still the writer's responsibility. therefore there isn't much of a difference between the two for me.

What do you think makes a good story?  a good story, to me, is one that takes me on a journey. it could be any genre, but i like to feel immersed and connected to the characters and the world in it. also aside from the obvious, like good grammar, a good story feels natural to read. i don't feel like skim reading half of it.

What is your writing process like? my writing process consists of me getting inspiration - usually from a song, or a film or a book ive read or a game ive played - i note down my idea and who i want the story to be about, and then bullet point the whole story, with some snippets of particular dialogue i want the reader or the other person to say at certain scenes. i then open another document ( i have a writing app on my phone, called werdsmith, so i use that!) and set a word count goal i want to hit so i can track my progress and start writing the fic, with fleshed out language and exposition. when im done (usually after a couple weeks up to a few months, depends on the length of the plan) i read through it to fix any mistakes, then i transfer it to docs so i can read it again and italicise any areas i feel need it.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? i...don't think so. mainly because the original fiction i read and would like to write for myself is predominantly fantasy, whereas the fanfic i write on my blog is usually non-idol, normal fics. 

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? im a SUCKER for enemies to lovers, royalty ofc, “and they were roommates”, and i think superhero aus are really cool but there isnt enough of them :( idol/you as member aus....not feeling her… also abo/werewolf/vampire aus….not feelin em

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? a LOT. a HUGE amount!! i said before how i like giving my readers somewhere where they can immerse themselves as an escape, even for a short while. hearing about how my work affected them, made them feel, makes me feel less insecure about what im writing and thus more confident to publish it.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? i’d say reblogs. and also putting out more content. when i first uploaded candy jar i went to my one of my favourite writers (jaeminlore) and asked her if she'd be okay with reading it and giving feedback. to my surprise she loved it and her reblogging it to all her followers is literally what gave me a bunch of followers all of a sudden who loved what i’d written. to keep that momentum i created more and more content, and while i haven't uploaded as often as i've wanted to or written as much as i’d wanted to, i can say i have a good amount of work on my masterlist for people who are looking for more to read.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? 100%. fanfic has an unfair reputation for just having bad writing and cringey fics (and i feel like this is because of the way society views the demographics who predominantly consume and create it), when in reality i feel like those who write fanfiction are extremely talented and selfless people. they're on the internet creating content for free for people to enjoy and like any other work of art they're putting time and effort into it. i think it should be respected. any form of art is going to have its good and bad sides.

Do you think art can be a medium for change? hmmm….yes. i feel it can be a way to reflect the thoughts of people and also be a way to inspire people to do more.

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? sometimes. sometimes i feel like i'm forcing myself to write because i feel like if i don't then people will forget about me or they’ll forget about my blog. while what i choose to write about is for me, i feel like the speed of my writing and what im writing isn't to the quality i want it to be cause i feel like i gotta get it out for people to read.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times? i've never felt that way!

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? only 2 of my friends know, and i only told them like. a week ago!

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? i wish you guys would message me more! i'm quite a sociable person, and i’d love to have regular anons who talk to me 👉🏽👈🏽

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? i think one common thing amongst all writers is that we write what we want to read. so don't feel like nobody's gonna read your work, cause somebody will. you gotta act like your work is top tier even if someone says it isn't - always write the best you can, and just do it! like don't even give yourself time to overthink it, write that fic, make it look pretty, upload it onto tumblr and do not be afraid to ask your favourite fic writers to read your work once its up!! i’d be happy to read and give feedback for any fic writers as well so don't feel afraid! 

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? ive been on here for 7 years….i grew up on this site lmfao. but i don't think i regret joining tumblr once.

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? shes not very active anymore and i miss her very much but user hyuck-s was so supportive and i love her!!

Pick a quote to end your interview with:

she believed she could, so she did.

BONUS ROUND: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL 

[ilovemyships]

2, 5, 12, 27, 33, 35!

2. why do you write fanfiction? for funsies! legit. i started when i was like 13/14 because i just wanted to write about stuff i enjoyed watching and that pretty much hasnt changed. like i will write So Much about the most niche concept ever and i have no idea why. (also i do it because im a leo who craves attention)

5. what’s the fic you’re most proud of? oh shit its gotta be one step closer aka the prom dwts au like that shit was bananas. at 138k words its by far the longest thing ive ever written and i just had so much motivation and energy with it and even the planning etc took on such a life of its own.

12. tell us about a wip you’re excited about. so... i don’t technically have a story wip but i am in the process of writing the next chapter of soccer au so that by default, but im also pretty jazzed about some stuff coming up maybe in this chapter maybe in a few chapters time.

27. what’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received? i literally cant pick one because ive gotten so many that have just Made My Day especially recently when ive been down on motivation etc. extra special shout out to anyone who has either left a long comment or a comment on each chapter of one of my fics as they work their way through. but i will say one of my fave things to read is that i got the characterisation right. that’s the thing that allows me to Rest.

33. is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process? i swing violently between writing 17k words in two days and not writing a single sentence for 4+ months and i hate that im not consistent sdjkdskj also i don’t tend to draft? i just set out a few bullet points for the chapter and get goin, do edits a little later, but very rarely will i go back and rewrite a whole thing. what you see is mostly what my brain spat out as i went because i am That Lazy

35. ramble about any fic-related thing you want! sometimes i wonder what some of the au versions of emma and alyssa would be doing x amount of time on from where the fic left off. or like what they do in their downtime where there’s no point in writing a scene about it. like how would dwts au emma do watching the show after having been a part of it? what’s pebbles from cowgirl au up to rn? at what point during college do fdau greenelan move in together? there’s so many questions i have for myself dsjkksd

thank you so much for sending these!!

[volganic]

Song of Tragedy

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] || [AO3]

im excited to post this bc ive had this sitting in my drafts for months now and its finally time to share it ps this chapter is a lot sadder if u listen to this on repeat bc man it killed me back then and still does now tw for blood and someone missing body parts...... >:^)

Bring my men home safely…

.

.

.

Volga’s head snapped upward with a vaguely familiar scent assaulting his nostrils. No, this wasn’t the smell of the impending storm headed toward the mountain. It permeated through the air like a dense cloud, filling his lungs to capacity and driving his instincts into overdrive.

Blood.

Was one of his kin wounded? Impossible. With a storm looming overhead he knew it would be unwise to send Lizalfos scouts out in search of food. So where was it coming from?

The dragon knew that his servants had also smelt it as the silent caves began to stir with a chorus of curious growling. A select few of the drakes tagged along with their master through the winding tunnels to find the source of the sickening smell outside of the entrance to the cavern.

The silhouette of a man stood at the mouth of the cave.

Volga waved the chieftains away to rush to the stranger’s side. The jeweled hilt of the Magical Sword — though bloodied — gave his identity away; Link looked so strange wearing anything else but his usual attire that appointed him as the legendary hero. The armor he wore — Hyrulean captain’s armor — made him look smaller than he actually was, but whatever mistook him for easy prey met a terrible demise with the amount of blood that splattered the silver steel red.

It was unlike the hero to quite literally be shaking in his boots. He didn’t move a muscle as the dragon removed the tarnished helmet. Link’s eyes were hollow and sunken in, and his face was white as if he had seen a ghost. Trails of tears shed not long ago stained his cheeks as Volga drew closer. 

“Link… What happened?”

It was dawn by the time the group continued on their journey to the forest. They had settled in a secluded clearing for the night; the promise of monsters lurking in the field after dusk was at an all-time high, and it was difficult to move one horse through the black of night, much less a group of four of them. Link donned traditional Hyrulean armor should they had the unfortunate meeting with any enemy captains on the way — better to not send the message that Hyrule was left defenseless without the hero at base. 

However, the hero noticed the air between him and his men changed. Something was wrong, and he couldn’t place a finger on it. His questions were waved off as nerves getting the better of him. They were fit enough to follow orders.

By mid-morning, the two soldiers were complaining of an excruciating headache. The other captain eventually admitted to experiencing it as well, but suffered in silence to not jeopardize their progress. Link hoped that the apples from the night before played no part in their ailment, seeing as he himself felt fine. His men continued to assure him that they were capable of marching onward without any more interruptions. Link, unconvinced, weighed his options: either he sends his men back to base and disobey Impa’s orders, or have them persist through it until the end. With the edge of the woods so close…

Epona came to an abrupt stop when Link tugged on her reins. The sound of one soldier collapsing off his horse forced him to stop and turn around to look. He clutched his head and screamed in agony as the other soldier held his stomach. The second captain refused to show any evidence of weakness, though his shoulders trembled violently.

What was going on?

Link dismounted from his saddle and sifted through one of his packs on Epona’s side to find a bottle — any bottle — of potion. Concern and panic etched across his face as he struggled to concentrate. Why were they hurting so suddenly? What was causing them pain? Why them? Why was he not experiencing their pain? 

What in Hylia’s name was going on?

He grabbed the small flask of red potion and hurried to the fallen soldier, turning him on his back. As he continued to scream, the soldier’s eyes opened and began to change color right before Link’s very own eyes, hazel irises washing away into an unnatural deep violet. Link remained in place, frozen in shock. His soldier’s cries of agony couldn’t drown out the sound of a sword being unsheathed, the sound of a horse’s hooves coming closer — the white gleam of his fellow captain’s blade reflecting off the sunlight drew his attention away. He looked up, the captain’s sword pointed at him —

“Link?”

The dragon placed a heavy hand on the boy’s shoulder to urge him to focus. 

Link finally blinked, startled by the contact, and came out of his stupor. Frantically, he looked around and, having realized where he was, distress came across his face as he willed himself not to dissolve into tears again, especially in front of Volga. He had worked so hard to prove himself capable of being accepted into the dragon’s clan, to bear the burden of being the legendary hero — it would be an insult to cry in front of the only person who had built him up so far to this point. However, he couldn’t bring himself to speak with his throat tightening and his breath quickening. Link pulled away from Volga’s hand and pushed the helmet of his own fellow captain into his clawed hands.

Volga didn’t have much of a choice and accepted the helmet. He frowned. The first thing he noticed was how uncharacteristically silent his friend was being. Usually he had acted as if the caves were his own home, filling the air with a million words of utter nonsense — but this, he realized, was not the usual friendly visit. He didn’t like this at all.

The dragon examined the helmet. Something was beginning to seep through the claws of his gauntlets and painting them a dark red. Volga turned the helmet in his hands and noticed the “blood” along the rim was still fresh. It smelled just as metallic as blood, but it was anything but natural — it reeked of something he couldn’t describe.

Then, he noticed that the helmet had a good amount of weight to it. No, this was considerably heavier than Link’s helmet that he had taken off minutes prior. Volga’s frown deepened at the thought and assumed the worst. It couldn’t be…

Claws tentatively lifted the visor for a closer look. He immediately dropped it when his worst suspicions had come to light, proven to be true. He didn’t care to look to see where the decapitated head of a Hyrulean captain had rolled off to, instead looking to see where Link had gone. 

The Hylian’s armor creaked as he bolted away from the entrance of the caves to vomit. Volga stood by and watched, cautiously approaching, but was met with an arm out to wordless tell him to keep away. The hero didn’t need any more of his dignity being taken away from being coddled as he emptied what was left in his stomach. Volga complied and stayed an arm’s length away.

It felt like an eternity passed before a clap of thunder rumbled over their heads. The storm was beginning to draw even closer and Link was in no condition to be thrown back out into the wilderness. Link scrubbed bile off the corner of his mouth as he looked to the dark clouds above, then at Volga curiously. The dragon nodded once and signaled for the boy to follow, unable to keep his eyes on the pitiful expression. He wouldn’t survive the trek down the mountain with the torrential rain on its way.

Once they were back inside, Link brushed past the dragon and collapsed onto the nearest boulder with a heavy thud. Volga followed suit and took to kneeling in front of his friend, his expression softening as he looked at him. Link was strong, but not unmovable by the wreckage of war. The dragon said nothing, giving Link the freedom to say what he needed at his own pace.

“I— I-It was…” his voice cracked with every syllable, his throat still aching from the abuse earlier. “It wasn’t—”

“Take as long as you need.”

Link couldn’t hold Volga’s gaze any longer, dipping his sight to the rocks underneath his feet. His armored shoulders began to shake as he processed what had transpired. It was supposed to be a simple scouting mission. Impa had trusted him. It wasn’t supposed to end in failure, much less…

Weakly, Link brought his head back up and held his hands up to sign. He couldn’t speak through his voice, and tears welled up in the corners of his eyes as he realized he couldn’t bring himself to formulate words with his hands as he had done for so many years before. Sensing his frustration, Volga took one of Link’s hands in his own, rubbing gentle circles into the back of his hand. Link’s walls threatened to crumble at that point, but with a shuddering breath, he took to spelling it out instead.

T-r-a-i-t-o-r-s.

[abtoddler]

I went to lay down an hour ago, but i was working on a post for my projects. I have to post it here as the reason I was able to do this safely in the early years, and only through the support of big brother and daddy, and all my roomies and friends from across the years.

Thank you all, and i need help to explore futher this project.

Hiya all!!

Ive just come out of a wonderful training weekend with one of my apprentices and it was a wonderful success. I would like to scale the possible amount of people and have looked at the presskit for the handlery in san diego, and with the launch of the book pact, which describes the community goals, and each of the other 6 books to accompany it as the rainbow library.

I have to say that I’m trying to figure out a reasonable valuation for my projects. I would love feedback from anyone if you see an area I’ve been missing:

The first week im planning for people to study is a rough exploration of each of the 14 books I will have written by the time the school is accepting students. Each week of a 3 month course has been started to be blocked out with a week to cover the most useful parts of each of the books; including the content pages, what the function of it is for, and all of it tied back into social responsibility that will be handled through the Academy of Sorcery, which is a 501 that ive set up to become the “training ground” for dialog, application, and testing for community works, innovative business development networks, and working with other businesses to establish remote training or provide people a place where they can learn any of the requirements of the businesses in order to be trained staff of those businesses/ or able to begin their own businesses. Repeating this model to get folks trained up in each of the various trades and other such things. The sorcery division of the Academy is my background. However, the application of it that I have to shake up the status quo is strategically done in order to work on the much larger issues of the development that people of the generations lack. Specifically those folks who are hungry for work, and will absorb training via their motivation to become their own forces to be reckoned with.

I am not building this alone, my head master is selected amongst one next generation of elder leadership in the African traditions of Vodu, Palo, Santeria, and Qimbisa. He is, one of my close friends who has been at the head of testing and integrating my methods with his, in order to increase the efficacy of the work which comes from the community. I seek to replicate this process for experienced workers, and folks in these kinds of communities.

This method of immersive work, and personal development is what I am doing through the connections of those Spirits, to concepts which services the needs of those forces to regain communion with the living. The Books I have written, come at the tail of the construction of a community services organization never took off the ground which I would very much like to restore: if people are willing.

In the book Empires, which I am currently drafting, I would like to take the opportunity to create a dialog with others here, business owners, mentorship possibility for anyone who would be willing to help me build this.

The model is Not for you to train in my methods or way of doing things which may be counter to your path as everyones religion is their own. My choices and the type of work I am trying to develop by testing this in those isolated communities which are not generally accessible to the public has proven itself. I am looking for folks i can work with who would be willing to help me work out the details for the leadership forward using the Academy as a model to explore development of trades, crafts, and businesses.

This model is for, coming together as individuals whose shared drive, goals, and projects can move us forward as a people. We share this earth with so many kinds of people, so many types of life. We are each on a variety of paths forward. If you would like to work together to figure out how, to come together.

How your businesses and trainings can fit into this coexisting community, so that together your trainings, your explorations, and your experiences can help those who need something to tangibly serve their own desires. But in a way where there is integrity, and community development and in many cases redevelopment of infrastructure which has been severely damaged by abuses from “leadership” mismanagement.

My hope is to stir the conversation so that those who are interested in joining together so that we can all work together to help those who have a need, so that each of our stories can find their way to those who need them. To

Market this not just as the material of the Rainbow library, but as a network joined by the aims of the library, and the academy to serve as my record of this attempt. I have been working on this since I was in high school. Trying to find solutions to the lacking of training that others and myself didn’t have to prepare us for the world.

The background in doing this came when My life fell to shit shortly after a bunch of horrible things led me to try and run away in the most creative of ways. I did steal a boat. So technically as a pirate, my entire life since has been through traveling across this country working my way through the various subcultures. My employment has been in the adult retail sector frankly because when I went to be promoted to assistant manager of pier 1, their corporate office fired me.

I was working 2 jobs at the time, there unloading the trucks 2 times a week at 530 am with a few others. At the same time I was working for a woman and her daughter who pretty much hired me on the spot. Working my way up to doing every odd job on my days off of the shop in order to earn overtime. Which was what led me into what kicked off my first book series, The Codex Arcanum, volume 1 & 2. These were designed to be training guides for a company whose first goal was to provide folks: religious non denominational offerings to community members so that they could begin to become independent and set their intentions on their studies and their businesses which they sought to grow into whatever their interests were in.

I had at the time two friends Julie and Fatima, who helped me draft out the entirity of the Orders of the Templi Nox corporation. It was to be a sales venue, and training space for the categories of spiritual development in the Order of the Night. The medicines/health: of the order of the Day. With the order of the twilight being business development. We set up each layer, the business plan will be included in Empires. This thing was to big for me to do alone, but after 3 years drafting, and working it. They each stepped away to their various activities. In their period of removal from this, I wrote the Grimoire of Arts, 2011/12, which is my best selling book at one time was #1 in two categories on amazon.

Since then there are 4 unpublished grimoires which are the basis for my personal methods of completing a system of sorcery which combines the material from cuniform tablets described in the ancient Greek Manuscripts and papyri examples from 3000 years back, with material from the judaic texts of the 1300s in sources like the Sefer Ha-lavanah, or the book of the moon, and other renaissance writers whose works have only recently been translated by folks in the last 30 years. With examples from texts on astrology, and esoteric thought from the late 1700s through to the modern day. I have set up a working system of operations whose focus is not specifically on the religious orders, but the social anthropology and the need for the return of a holistic community model that cultivates the needed elements within communities.

This work has taken me 20 years to contemplate and put everything I have ever done into focus for testing these concepts. There is more than money on the line with this type of project, it requires that good folks who are hungry for the day to come where the word doesn’t suck. Every job I have taken, every friend that I have made, the people in my life who are my family come from seeking this path forward.

The foundation for Empires, is the people. So this is where I am, asking for help. Who is willing to help, not with what spirituality does to the individual. That is their road to walk, but rather what a holistic approach to redesigning a social platform, a business community, educational resources, skills training, and mentorship to provide better communities where we can bring back the days when we knew our neighbors. Where good people who take in strays like myself and teach and provide jobs to those who the “many” do not want.

I have been stuck in a chronic pain condition for the better part of 7 years, my ability to grow this concept has been limited. I need help for community development. As writers, thinkers, speakers, and community relationships are not my strong suit due to my health issues/physical limitations. I am trying to find creative ways to bring my work to market, which is the work of helping provide a place where folks can study and learn.

Of those ideas:

If you offer a course for training people, you are welcome to get set up on theacademyofsorcery.com website. So that folks who can have a need for that training you provide so they can reach out to you as our kin in operations. While providing a short paragraph and a link on your page providing a return link to the academy providing possible interests with the means to connect with us, and my friends who are setting this up with me. We are coming from all corners of the country: Maine, Florida, Kansas, Washington, Oklahoma, California.

My apprentice who was here in California has graciously introduced his daughter to the project because she has a farm in Wisconsin that grows food for the homeless vets. While her partner has a background in coding which will be a paid royalty to him if he takes on building the app, which will allow folks to search for everything I have written, everything that is business related, as well as the purpose of the academy: Training videos from those leaders who wish to onboard with me in this process.

Where folks will pay the masters of the field, those folks who run businesses like the Philosophers Stone mineral store here in Ocean Beach, providing video lessons which will become available to purchase on the Academys training pages.

This opens up the employee that was volunteered by the shop owner, to a network he can build relationships with, the shop owner who will be able to cater to the unique needs of my community works/and any collector for her curated collection of rare minerals and the properties they represent.

We are all in a place where we have much to offer, but I am working on the tangible expressions of these by using my Academy for training, development and the donation of time that is required for brainstorming ideas, experimenting with them, and working together with many resources that come from knowing trades, friends in import/export, contacts in other countries for manufacturing, and other business owners. As well as ways to contribute to the education and cultivation of people who become our employees. Training them in all operations of our respective trades.

My service is to produce and cultivate sorcery for those who seek it. My desire is to have as many folks on board with this as possible.

The final book of my rainbow library of Sorcery is Hand: the ways of many. This post, as well as the works and histories of everyone who is going to help with this idea, to figure out ways we can all come together. Many are the hands which make light the work.

I am looking to finish my project, and would love feedback, or help to pull this off. Pact, represents the community requirments, that if people apply any concept they are required to fulfill some social development and provide some exchange for their learning. This is mostly as a hook to try and drive creative thought.

Emergence, is the second of the series providing the spellcraft and rituals that I have used to do my aforementioned projects, and how they function for focusing the paths of life ahead.

Breaking Clay, is the book of personal development, the changes I have had to go through, and experiences which result from inviting energies into my life that are reflected in direct manifestation aligned with the texts from so long ago. People do not change, its the “theme” of work that has always been. They want to love their partners, they want justice for slights against them, they want violence against those who have sought injury to them. I have worked for clients for years with all sorts of issues.

The Unencumbered represents evocation and method for interaction with these ancient representations in ways which are tested from client works, or by those folks like Keith, which are Initiated into places I have no right to be apart of, aside from my tenacity to stamp out fraud, corruption, and abuses in those communities by those unscrupulous fuckers who abuse women, the ancestors, and provide antiquated antisocial hatred which serves no purpose when used relentlessly against folks who cannot change things like their way to love, or the color of their skin, or the parents they were born to, or the lack of opportunity due to conditions outside of their control. People should hate this, with a fire that will finally restore peace, because by eliminating the systems of hate, through the necessity of the drive that comes from this internal revulsion to corruption, that is when things begin to change for the better.

Hand, i have talked about; all of the gates, threshold spell craft and ritual bring aligned in similar ways to those of a reiki master is to the spirit of Mt. Fuji, we can use these to change ourselves. These are the methods I have used create this project in full. These are what has allowed me to work directly with those folks whose paths are clad in oaths which remain unbroken, of those most private sacred secrets, but yet shared with me through my seeking the many to help with this project.

The 6th book is the Empires; where this concept I have written about today shares with the world these ideas.

The thaumaturgic Art;7th is the entire method for each of my 2 week courses for introduction to the method, the break down of the 12 categories of magic, and who is helping me in the school’s division, and how each day of the 3 month course will be taught, totaling 72 lessons which I have used across my life and this country seeking a way to establish this model of training so others can replicate it, and the reasons behjnd each lesson, each month, and each day of those 3 years in the academy itself.

The 3 volumes of the Thaumaturgic Craft including the exact methods and reasons why I have created this entire system. Which is only going to be available to those folks who would become my Teachers, offering their services under the Academy as instructors. Not for the propagation of the method, but for their interpretation and application. Which they must demonstrate, and with Keith, as the Headmaster who had himself replicated this process integration of method while I was crafting these notes. These will be for instructors only.

So, now its come to it, when I look to you for help. You each have projects, you each have special interests and we all can work together, and create a path forward which embodies the trust, and care that responsibilities are shared by everyone to make better the world then we have found it. I am not satisfied with how this world has been left by those who are in the drivers seat. I believe that a change is required.

How we seek peace, how we seek community and the freedoms to explore ourselves fully with those who wish to do the same. These are what my academy is for.

Please help with feedback, and if you have seen something which I have left out of my models. I would love to work with everyone who would be willing to help me. Any help is much appreciated.

I have made wonderful friends who are my brothers and sisters in art, friends and family who I do business with, and most importantly this is my attempt to drive the functional and realistic goals of my businesses, my community responsibilities and provide education and a safe environment where people can explore their own desires freely.

Thank you for your time in reading this, and any help is much welcomed. Only together can this be pulled off in ways which I cannot fathom. Please help me bring clarity and unity of intent to those who seek this way as an option.

[whatbutandreil]

i had an ask sitting in my inbox for a couple of months bc i didn't really know what i wanted to say, but i lost the ask:/

unfortunately, when i tried to save my response to my drafts, tumblr just,, fuckin deleted it, so im sorry to whoever asked it:/ but i have my response now. the ask said "what(or who) got you into tfc?" to the person who asked this question, thank you. this has been a really great reflection. so uh,, here's my answer:

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i kinda hate the way i came into tfc bc it was in a way that didn't respect the wishes of my, now friend on twitter, ziegenkind.

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basically, i was scrolling on pinterest, as you do, and i fell into a hole of like,, gay fanart? (not a question, just a little self-reflection on how fucking queer i am. how did i not fucking know?)

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anyway, so, i was scrolling, as you do, and i found @ziegenkind 's stunning painting of andrew and neil on the bottom bunk of the dorm bed (y'all know the one) and i was like "whooooo,, the fUCk are these two cuties (ʘ‿ʘ)??"

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PSA : DONT REPOST PEOPLE'S ART WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION, ESPECIALLY IF SOMEONE EXPLICITLY SAYS NOT TO. THIS COUNTS AS REPOSTING IF YOU POST SOMEONE ELSE'S ART TO PINTEREST, INSTAGRAM, TUMBLR, TWITTER, FACEBOOK, ANY SOCIAL MEDIA. DO NOT QRT PEOPLE'S ART ON TWITTER IF PEOPLE SAY NO. YOU ARE NO EXCEPTION. AND DONT FUCKING ERASE PEOPLE'S WATERMARKS AND DEFINITELY DONT REPLACE THEM WITH YOUR OWN. DONT FUCKING DO IT. to the lovely ziegenkind, (it's julian from twitter (^o^)丿) it's so fuckin unfortunate that i found your art through reposts and it's fucking horrible that people don't listen, but thank you for being my bridge into this fandom and im very grateful to have found you and been able to talk with such an angel. you quite literally changed my life forever and i can't thank you enough:') im eternally grateful for that. BUT DONT FUCKING REPOST DIPSHITS

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anyway, so, naturally, i sat in my bed for 3 hours at 1am on a school night, as you do, scrolling through andreil fan art and trying to figure out who the fUCK they were and what they were from. i found tfc and immediately downloaded it on my phone

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i didn't get to reading it for a bit tho:/ abt a week later, i was brought to the emergency room bc i was planning to kill myself. id been diagnosed with depression for around a year, who knows how long i was suffering before that, and i was hitting my lowest. it was abt 2 weeks after new years and on new years eve, i was planning on ending it bc i couldn't fathom dealing with it for another year. another year of feeling nothing or everything all at once. but my mom had called me downstairs to go to a new years party, so i didn't go through with it. abt 2 weeks later, i had seen my therapist again, and i was deflecting hard core, and she saw it, and she sent me to the ER. i was evaluated all night, but i wasn't kept for observation since i told the nurse that the thoughts had passed. i was taken out of school and put in an outpatient program where id have group for 4 hours and school for 2. every morning for abt a month, i would get picked up at my house in a minivan and id have a good 20-25+ min drive to program.

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every. single. morning. on the van, i would read tfc. every morning. i was going through, what i thought to be the worst time of my life (i now know that it in fact DID get worse and now we're going on a new level of bad, but then it was the worst id experienced) every morning i was reading about neil and him running from his father, something ive wanted to do for years. reading about andrew struggling with depression and self harm like i am and despising most touches bc of people in his life that ruined it, similar to how someone ruined it for me and doesn't understand that "no" means "no". reading about nicky learning to love and accept himself for being gay, for being who he is like ive been trying to accept myself being a queer ace trans boy. reading about kevin trying to cope with his anxiety, even if it's in an unhealthy way, the same way i do. reading about renee growing up one way and wanting to become a better person, something that i want to do every day. reading abt matt overcoming his addiction and loving his friends with his whole heart. reading about dan standing up for herself and being proud of who she is. reading abt allison cutting away the people in her life who wanted to hold her back. reading about aaron and andrew work through their differences to try and salvage their relationship. reading about neil taking his life back and living it the way he wants, on his terms, like i so badly crave to do. reading about neil and andrew finding a respectful and loving relationship, one where all boundaries are respected, not crossed, where there is comfort in being together and a certain understanding on a level that others could never wrap their mind around. the kind of relationship that i have always, always, yearned for, where i feel safe and loved and respected.

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these books taught me not only to die for the ones i love or kill for them, but to live for them, and to me, that is a much more daunting and difficult task.

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All For the Game gave me hope, something i never thought id have again. it gave me hope for tomorrow. and the day after that. and a month after that. and it gives me hope that one day, i will get away from my father, i will be comfortable with who i am and love myself for it, i will find ways to cope with my anxiety properly, i will be proud of the person i have become, i will have friends who i love and who love me, i will stand up for myself and be proud to be the person ive become, i will surround myself with good people and cut away those who treat me wrong and hold me back, i will work to repair and maintain good relationships.

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it gives me hope that i will finally break away from the pain and start to live my life the way i want, as the person i was meant to be, the way i was meant to live my life.

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it gives me hope that i will overcome my depression, that i will find the strength to stop harming myself to cope, that i will find the strength to push through, even after ive been given every reason to just give up.

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it gives me hope that one day, i will find a person who will love me for who i am, love me despite my past and the scars i carry, love me in a way that i'll never be able to explain or understand. that i will find someone who respects my boundaries, who asks "yes or no?" before touching me, who respects if i say "no" and still fucking loves me regardless. someone who can feel like they can be completely themself around me, and that i can feel the same around them. someone who will fall in love with me a little more every day. someone who i'll fall in love with a little more every day.

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it gives me hope that one day, hopefully someday soon—but i think im willing to wait—i will be happy.

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All For the Game quite literally changed to course of my life, and i can say with confidence that without it, i would not be here right now.

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people say that books and shows and movies change there life all the time, but i know that i wouldn't be here without it. these books saved my fucking life. i wouldn't have experienced those mornings, walking into program with a goofy smile on my face, practically vibrating with what i now know was joy, blabbing to every person i ran into that morning abt a boy with scars and a sharp tongue on the run and the small, depressed and angry blond who told him to stay. or nights when i sobbed and sobbed for those boys who deserved better. and i wouldn't have gotten black armbands to cover my scars and match with my two biggest inspirations. or when i have a bad impulsive thought, i wouldnt have a voice in the back of my head going "what would andrew say? what would neil say?" and the vivid image of the small blond giving me a stare, face carefully blank, yet eyes swimming with a mix between disapproval and hope, and the boy covered in scars tentatively giving me a hug, a bit awkward at first, but he's a lovely hugger and eventually, awkwardness turns into comfort. without it, i don't think id know what pure, honest love is supposed to look like.

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sorry, i suppose this got quite a bit off track from what got me into aftg, but once i started writing, i couldn't stop.

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TLDR; i saw fanart on pinterest, DONT REPOST ART WITHOUT PERMISSION, and my life was saved and changed for the better by a book that i stumbled upon, purely by chance.

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i don't believe in fate, but i do think that i found these books for a reason, and that my life changed because of it. i suppose you could call it the butterfly effect.

[deniigi]

Hello! Just about to sit down and read your newest fic, so excited about it! I had a question for you (you very well may have answered this already, so sorry in advance!), but do you have advice for writing? Advice in terms of getting start, plotting out stories, helping get the creative juices flowing? I have all these ideas but seem to lack the drive to get things written out. I know the best advice is to just write, but I'm having a horrible time starting. What do you do in those moments?

Hello my dear!

Sorry for taking so long to get back to you. The lord has blessed me with a head cold and ruined all my plans of productivity for the day, so I can finally answer this ask! I’ll talk a little bit about both how to get started with a story and then some little things that help me motivate myself.

I have started a tag for writing advice here: http://deniigi.tumblr.com/tagged/writing-advice

This is going to be a long post, sorry mobile users.

I am going to preface all of this with the understanding that I am technically a professional writer in terms of like, a handful of ways, but I have absolutely zero training in creative writing, so take everything I say with a grain of salt!

So, I personally find that, on the whole, that psychological hurdle of getting started comes a lot from the anticipation of the kind of response a story will get (how many hits, how many comments, how many kudos) in addition to a bit of anxiety or fear over  theloss of sustained interest in that story (by yourself and/or by your audience). I find that this can be alleviated by really, truly internalizing the understanding that you are allowed to write your work however you damn please, for whoever you damn please.

There will be work you write for others, and there will be work you write for yourself. Not all work needs to be published; sometimes, it is really nice to just write shit for yourself; it is a plus for humanity if you decide to share it with others, but you do not have to do that.

Furthermore, I would like to present you with this:

This is what my current folder for under fire looks like. And you might notice that there are almost always multiple drafts per chapter. Yes, I did in fact rewrite chapter four 5 fucking times, you bet your ass I did. And I’m not ashamed of it. I think the story is better for it. And that’s the important thing here: you do not need to produce a perfect draft the first time around. You will not produce that perfect draft. Accept this. Embrace this. Embrace it and your cat at the same time to really ingrain it as a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Liberate yourself from the pressure of needing to produce the perfect, most right draft and you may find starting the piece overall to be a much easier, more pleasant experience.

And along with this beautiful, uplifting spiritual advice, I also bring a practical thought: when it comes to getting started, a lot of times, people feel like they need to set the stage, yadda yadda yadda. Ha. No. Fuck that.

That’s a surefire way to bore the shit out of yourself. Start right in the middle of a scene that captivates you if that’s what you want to write. It’s a free platform. No one’s gonna arrest you if you stick Spiderman upside down in trash first thing. They might even applaud you actually, because you didn’t make them slog through some of that ‘It was the evening of the 25th and it was cold out in the streets” bullshit we all learned from Dickens.

Alright. Now let’s talk about actually getting started making words appear on paper.

So, from my knowledge there are generally two ways that folks write creatively. You have what I’m going to call the planners and then you what I’m going to call the monsters (I call them this entirely affectionately, I’m sure there’s a better word for these folks, but I don’t have it atm, all I have is a headcold). Planners are folks who sit down and work out their major plot points, who write outlines, and who create the scaffolding of their work before they set out on their magical journey. I think of these folks as architects.

And then you have the monsters and these are those fuckers who just sit down and write stream of consciously like the heathens all our high school teachers tried to teach us not to be.

I am both a planner and a monster. And a lot of that depends on the length of work I’m going for. I have never in my life planned a one-shot, for example. I just attack that as it is. I follow my heart, if you will. But when it comes to longer chaptered fics, I really do think that some outlining is super helpful.

You might find it useful for one-shots, though, I dunno. Maybe give it a try and see what happens?

The two main fics I’ve done proper outlines for are Inimitable and under fire and I actually find outlining to be immensely helpful in psyching me up to write the story (I go through and re-read my outlines when I start to lose interest or diverge too much from the plot outlined there in the actual writing. 9 times out of 10, re-reading gets me stupid excited to write all over again) and it also helps me keep momentum going throughout the plot.

Here’s a pic of some pages of under fire’s outline.

Physically writing the work is really important for me because it forces me to only put down key points/feelings/ideas I want to include, whereas typing gives me far too much room to get lost/distracted by extraneous detail. And since my handwriting is a teacher’s worst nightmare and I cross out shit and write huge with emotion, I’ll give you a little bit of what the middle page here says:

Miles-

there’s something thrumming

vibrating in his ears wherever he goes

-closes his eyes and somehow enters blackness- emptyness (Stranger Things style)

beat

beat

beat

“help.”

–BACK - everything is gone

closing his eyes doesn’t bring the space back

–it makes him panic. He doesn’t know why. His heart is pounding. He’s sweating He has a horrible feeling of doom.

beat

beat

beat

its gone.

he goes home anxiously. Pretends everything is normal.

his neck crawls

So basically it’s less of a formal outline and more of a collection of stream of consciousness feelings and screenplay directions which I’ll flesh out in the actual story.

Personally, I love writing these kinds of things because they get me pumped for the story I’m about to tell. I get to write out the key scenes and work through all the hard parts first, and then, while I’m writing, I work through the little fun details and banter and I have to write to figure out how we get from one scene to the next and I love the challenge of having to fit those pieces together. I very rarely stick strictly to my outline, (as anyone who is currently reading under fire can tell you right now), but I do try to stick to the main plot points in it and my writing is certainly better for it.

So yes. Outlining is very good, but it is even better when you do it to some kind of music. I listened to What’s Up Danger from the Into the Spiderverse soundtrack on repeat while I wrote this outline to kind of transfer some of the relentless pace conveyed in that song to the piece’s plot.

I highly recommend using music to set the mood of your piece while/before you write a piece of any length. It helps get you in the right headspace (excited or somber or angry) to write. You need emotion to write creatively. You can’t just make that happen sometimes; you need a little help.

A couple other things which might help:

1. Leave your house or the space you’re normally in. Go to a cafe and find a nice corner and have a think and a try in there. Sometimes moving to a different space helps you escape cyclical thinking patterns.

2. Write what you want to read. Don’t bother writing for other peoples’ interests; that’ll just bore the shit out of you all over again.

3. Find an atmospheric mood sound to listen to on Youtube or smth (I personally like Rain on a Car Windshield for slightly somber fics, but you might be into ocean storms or dripping caves or whatever).

4. Heat your feet. I don’t know why but I am entirely unproductive when my feet are cold. Maybe this one is me-specific, but whatevs. Heat the feets!

5. If you’re still having trouble just sitting down and pounding the story out, that’s okay! Maybe it’s not ready to be written yet. Maybe you’re not in the right headspace yet. Sometimes that’s just how it is. One story makes its way out in like, a hour, and the next one takes like, months to finally be written. We all work at different paces. We all write for different reasons.

It might help to figure out why you want to write a story before you write it. Like, if its for attention, it’s gonna be hard as hell. But if there’s an idea that you feel like is important or if there’s a mood you’re trying to work yourself into or out of, then that might be a little easier. For example, I wrote a piece called make it work which is about Fogs finding his motivation to be a lawyer and fight for justice when Kavanaugh was confirmed and I felt super helpless in the face of our present justice system. That story kind of wrote itself and it needed to be written, I feel, not just for me, but for others who were feeling just as helpless.

Writing is catharsis in that way. Maybe you just need to find out what you need to wring out of your soul.

Sorry that got very metaphysical. But I do want to stress that getting started and ending a story are the hardest parts of writing them, so you are definitely not alone if you feel like you’re ramming your head into a wall here.

I hope something here helps you, my dear!

[doctormage]

hi i just need to be really dramatic and long winded bc if i dont get it Out im going to fucking explode

ive actually been trying really hard this semester with my thesis and its REALLY fucking difficult for me. my depression makes me catatonic and unable to complete simple tasks or be motivated to do literally anything; my anxiety paralyzes me at the slightest unexpected change and then obsess over whether everyone in my life hates me because of my anxiety; my sleep schedule is constantly fucked and my doctor is unhelpful; my bdd will sidetrack me from my work and responsibilities for literal hours or days, and sometimes if its feeling spicy send me on a full scale fucking breakdown; and my adhd makes all this shit worse on TOP of all the NORMAL adhd shit. like thats just!!! my life!!!! at all times!!!!! and there have been several times where i have genuinely considered leaving this program or not continuing school after bc i was so fucking overwhelmed and exhausted and scared but i didnt!!! like i make a lot of jokes about procrastinating and wasting my time and doing the least and whatever but in reality its really fucking difficult for me even when im medicated!!! but i dont like admitting that bc of all my exhausting childhood baggage and shit but that is not the point of this rant so anyway

this semester i made a specific effort to try and be a better student even tho all of this stuff has been exacerbated by grad school. i felt i owed it to my director and one of my committee members because theyve been so fucking helpful and put their faith in me and took a lot of their time to help me. i wanted to show them i was worthy of it and capable of being a good student who does all the shit she’s supposed to do, does it well, and does it on time. i overloaded my fall semester and nearly lost my goddamn mind JUST to have a lighter class load this semester so i could focus most of my time on my thesis (like for real that was actually incredibly stupid of me. i lost almost 30 pounds from september to december without conscious effort just because i was so fucking stressed. not a brag and actually kind of concerning bc that has LITERALLY never happened to me). it has been like....significantly taxing, but i wanted to show them how much i appreciate their time and effort and help by being responsible and respectful. my Trying Hard is a lot of people’s Barely Doing Their Best and i know that. turning something in 2 hours early is below average for some but for me, literally anything more than 30 minutes before its due is an actual goddamn miracle. but i wanted to work hard and do things right for my committee members because they deserve it

this christmas my parents asked what i wanted and the ONLY thing i asked for was help with my library dues. last year from like march to october i was significantly depressed and entirely out of my head, and i racked up some pretty bad overdue fees. i didnt even ask them to pay all of it, just some of it. less than $100. im really truly grateful for the gifts they DID get me, but i didnt ask for them for any of it, and my overdue fees were left alone. i was under the impression that they got paid and, like a fucking idiot, i didnt check up on it to confirm. ive been so hell deep in my thesis and teaching and grading and applying to phd programs and looking for apartments and shit that it really just slipped my fucking mind!!! crazy!!!!

today i was in crisis bc i thought i fucked up with scheduling my defense/exam/whatever the fuck. im going to call it defense and i dont give a shit bc everyone calls it some other shit and i dont CARE. anyway i really thought i fucked up but i went and talked it out with my director and it was all sorted out. i’ve gotten like 50% of her feedback on my thesis draft, which i’ve incorporated, and im waiting on comments from another reader (the other helpful person on my committee). we have to run some dumbass software before scheduling, so i ran it today and tried to schedule it but couldnt bc theres a hold on my account. i went on a fucking....ALMIGHTY QUEST to figure it out and i finally discovered that guess what!!!!!!! its my GODDAMN LIBRARY OVERDUE FEES!!!!!! THAT I THOUGHT WERE PAID!!!!!!! i had to pay them myself which is fine idc but it takes several days to process. this fucks up my life on SEVERAL levels

for one, its fucking impossible to get a hold of my third committee member. she is a vapor in the wind. shes like super busy and thats all good and well but the point is theres like zero communication there. i finally got confirmation on a defense date from all 3 members and had been literally planning MY ENTIRE LIFE around this date. after todays first scheduling crisis i was so happy i was still on track, but now this? now i have to wait 3-4 days before i can even SCHEDULE the defense. the super delightful part is that we have to schedule a minimum of 2 weeks in advance. so now i cant schedule my defense until tuesday at the absolute earliest, but that ALSO bumps my defense date several days ahead. i have no fucking clue if my committee is going to agree on another day that works for everyone bc theyre all busy as shit and we’d been working toward the original date for weeks if not months, and im so fucking upset because this is exactly what i DIDNT want to have happen. i havent tried to email them yet because im hoping beyond fucking hope i can call somebody at the university tomorrow and see if the hold is something else besides the fee, but it makes me sick to think of having to be like “oh sorry i know i constantly fuck up everything ever and im a piece of shit but can we change this date we’ve had set since january because i was an extra shitty piece of shit this time??” like OHHH MY GODDDDD

and the thing thats really fucking with me is that like, yes its my fault but this one time its not ENTIRELY 100% my fault. i asked for a favor and had the understanding that it was taken care of. yes the fees were my doing and yes i shouldve checked but oh my fucking god. i feel like all the effort ive put into being a better student this semester has been for fucking nothing because im going to have to email my committee asking for a different date and ruin all their fucking lives and theyll be so disappointed in me. i have like legitimately been crying on and off about it since like 4:30 today

it so shitty in and of itself but i especially dont want to do this to my director bc she is legitimately the reason im finishing this program AND that im going to a phd program. a year ago i’d barely spoken 20 words to her but she still agreed to be a reader on my committee just because she heard me explain my thesis for all of 30 seconds and decided to give it a try. she literally had not read a song of ice and fire at the time and she started reading them for me to help me with my thesis. in the fall when my original director basically threatened to leave my committee if i didnt change all my ideas, my current director stepped in and helped me and talked me through it and then offered to take her place even though my research is BARELY distantly related to hers. through all of this she’s been so insanely patient with me, super encouraging of my ideas both in this project and in others, helped me decide whether it was right for me to get my phd immediately after my masters, proofed and edited and helped me with ALL my phd application materials, and STILL is in the process of reading these goddamn books just to be a better director. i have lost my head so many times and shes always been there to help me figure my shit out, and i wanted to have it figured out for once. how stupid of me

like bumping the date isnt the end of the whole world but its really not just about the fact that i have to reschedule. i was trying real goddamn hard to be a better student this semester and i REALLY fucking owed it to my director and other reader, but especially director, and i still managed to fuck up this bad. i feel like such a DISAPPOINTMENT and it just will not leave my brain bc im so mad at myself. i tried watching shows and youtube compilations about game of thrones and shit but now my bf is asleep and im alone and its all i can think about. im so fucking tired of being the person i am honestly and i dont mean that in an edgy way its just like jesus christ i wish there was less shit wrong with me. i wish i had any kind of willpower or discipline so i couldve learned these skills and been a better student from the start. i wish i wasnt a giant piece of shit!!!!! 

and now im going to be up late being anxious about all this which means that i will, once again, wake up late but also still be really exhausted, which means i’ll do a shitty job teaching and get overwhelmed by everything and who the fuck knows what fun bullshittery will ensue because of it. i am so fucking tired of me and my fuckery and the fact that it fucks with other people even why i try so hard for it not to. tired!!!!!!!! fucking tired

[queerloquial]

tagged by @writingnodule, tagging @loghainmactir in turn

1. First ship you ever wrote fic for:

martin septim/m!hok. i had several tiny ficlets in my tumblr drafts for months. the first ship that i posted publicly was anora/f!cousland

2. Ship you write the most now:

oc/oc ships. occasionally oc/bethany or malcolm hawke things with squid, or our [redacted] rp

3. Ship you read the most now:

i dont read a whole lot of fic but my one headmate does. he likes mag7′s goonight/billy, and one specific valenwind author

4. Newest ship:

either [redacted] or bethany/varric

5. Rare ship you wanna read more of:

literally everything i ship is a rarepair in some fashion. some are bc they involve ocs and im too lay to write them myself, some are specific dynamics (anora/f!cous, martin/m!hok), some are just not that popular for varied reasons (molly/jester, malcolm/maurevar)

6. Your taboo ship:

ive got a lot of redacted-type ships that will never be talked about publicly. its not that im particularly ashamed of them, but, purity culture is too rampant. too many people running around who think if you consume fiction you automatically want everything in that work to happen to real-life people

also the longer i think about it the more im convinced molly/beau couldve been a great dynamic

7. They never met in canon ship:

f!cousland/bethany is my favorite

8. Your unexpected ship:

[redacted]. also bethany/varric

9. The ship you always forget to give love to:

literally anything not involving my ocs or malcolm tbqfh

10. Ship your OC with a canon character (if applicable):

newsflash asshole, ive been shipping my ocs with canon characters the entire goddamn time

11. Ship you’re embarrassed to ship:

sometimes i feel A Way about my eso protag/darien gautier, bc like, it feels cliche? kinda? like i can practically feel the specter of tumblr anons ‘oh *of course* you ship with *him* like *everyone else*’. i mean, ive never gotten any rude anons myself, but. you know how anxiety goes

12. Your most romantic ship:

hm. possibly either martin/m!hok (even though he and andraste, uh. didnt get anywhere close to a happy ending. theyre the tragic flavor of romantic), or sehris/bethany

13. Your sexiest ship:

me n squid get up a Lot of smutty rp, between [redacted] and sehris/bef

14. Your most tragic ship:

possibly martin/andraste as mentioned above

15. A ship you want more content for:

see question 5

[priyaele]

novel prep tag

tagged by @myscrivere thank u xx

im doing this for bury me in the city :)

1. Describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch)

Femi Leroux has the power to grant one wish, according to family legend, but after the death of her mother and the loss of her father to grief, she has little faith in it. The story follows her coming of age in New York City, a place she treasures, as she enrolls in Manhattan’s most prestigious prep school

2. How long do you plan for your novel to be? (Is it a novella, single book, book series, etc.)

standalone at prob around 80-90k

3. What is your novel’s aesthetic?

candles on top of birthday cakes, new york city in the morning, rich people and glamour, crying, eyes closed and head tilted when playing piano, mourning, torn pictures, hope

4. What other stories inspire your novel?

swamplandia by karen russell, everything i never told you by celeste ng, la la land really came outta nowhere and helped me refocus on my main plot, frances ha, lady bird haha no surprises there, amélie, call me by your name, and the haunting of hill house (just the family aspect no horror here bb)

5. Share 3+ images that give a feel for your novel

MAIN CHARACTER

6. Who is your protagonist?

femi leroux a total softie

7. Who is their closest ally?

at the start: her best friend lara and her grandmother midge, by the end nox is added on too :)

8. Who is their enemy?

her emotions honestly. and the “wish” she’s supposed to carry. and her relationship with her family. and the grief they share. 

9. What do they want more than anything?

femi wants to speak to her mother again. she wants everything to work out. she wants her dad to be happy again and she wants her family to be full, or a little less broken. also nox.

10. Why can’t they have it?

because of death and what comes out of it. 

11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?

 femi thinks she’s really weak.

12. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description)

short and thin, brown skin, long curly hair, cute outfits, light brown eyes.

PLOT POINTS

13. What is the internal conflict?

femi struggles with feeling strong enough to carry the weight of her family’s wish. she misses her mother and misses what her family once was more than anything else. she also feels the need to deal with other people’s problems and will do anything for people even if they won’t do the same back.

14. What is the external conflict?

her family sucks, she likes a boy, growing up is hard.

15. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist?  

anyone else close to her dying. 

16. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?  

there is one! but it’s gotta stay a secret :)

17. Do you know how it ends?   

yes and it’s my favorite ending ive ever written/planned

BITS AND BOBS

18. What is the theme?  

family always finds their way back to each other. you need to free yourself from being a prisoner to the past. soft is strong. all love is love. no one can fix someone else. fame isn’t always fun. even when people are no longer together, the love doesn’t always end.

19. What is a recurring symbol?  

candles (birthday cake ones and candelabras), the color gray, piano keys, champagne

20. Where is the story set? (Share a description!)

new york city!! lots in morningside heights

21. Do you have any images or scenes in your mind already?  

i have a cinematic visual for every planned scene in this book burned in my head and they’re so prettyyyyy (again, ending is my favorite)

22. What excited you about this story?  

new york! and nox and femi! and the themes man i just love the overall atmosphere of this it’s all of my heart.

23. Tell us about your usual writing method!  

usually i get idea, plan quickly, and then write quickly. but now ive really let this idea sit and wait and ive built off of it for months. i lived in new york over the summer and became close friends with a famous person, (helped me plan,) i had some boy drama recently (helped me plan,) and also some family drama (helped me plan,) so it’s been slowly growing over the months into the thing it is now and im so in love with it i can’t wait to finally have a set outline and draft it. 

tagging: whoever wants to do this because this is long as hell 

[acidwaste]

hey so it seems i’ve forgot to do a l o t of tag memes, and i’m lucky i drafted a big bunch of them! lots of questions overlapped so i did my best to answer in different ways, sorry for the lateness! also @ the people that tagged me here, i wouldn't hesitate to kill for you

@natcaptor / @gayspaced

name: leon or lionel!

nicknames: literally the only nickname I’ve been referred to is “big gay” and like. word!

gender: im pretty sure im a guy, i have been kinda 🤔🤔🤔 abt my gender identity since around november-ish though

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1! i’m told that I’m tall but my uncle is 6’7 so...

time: 3:36pm rn! ive been watching video essays and binging music all afternoon

birthday: december 9th!

favourite bands: animal collective, beach house, camp cope, car seat headrest, death grips, fleet foxes, florence + the machine, gang of youths, glass animals, gorillaz, hop along, iceage, idles, kero kero bonito, mgmt, miike snow, modest mouse, run the jewels, superorganism, the avalanches, the cat empire, the go! team, the mountain goats, the wombats, xiu xiu

favourite solo artists: alex lahey, anderson .paak, ariana grande, billie eilish, bjork, cashmere cat, charli xcx, courtney barnett, cupcakke, d.r.a.m, eric taxxon, frank ocean, gfoty, hatchie, janelle monae, jeff rosenstock, joanna newsom, jorja smith, jpegmafia, kacey musgraves, kali uchis, kendrick lamar, khalid, kimbra, lorde, mac demarco, madeon, mick jenkins, mitski, oneohtrix point never, perfume genius, ravyn lenae, rina sawayama, serpentwithfeet, sophie, st. vincent, sza, vince staples

song stuck in my head: caramelo duro | miguel // kali uchis! its a bop, miguel is one of the few singers that can convincingly make sex jams

last movie i watched: deadpool 2! it was even better than the first, which is a feat in itself ngl

when did i create my blog: december 2016??? i only started using it properly in february last year tho

last thing i googled: “im in my mums car broom broom.” dont @ me

do i have any other blogs: yeah, plenty actually!! i have blogs for aesthetic (@moltenstar), general inspo (@wverns), flight rising (@szarising, kinda inactive?), and overwatch (@blackhardts) tbh the vast majority of my ‘sideblogs’ are just saved urls H

do i get asks: when i say stupid shit like “rung has the ass of a dilf but the dick of a cockroach”

why i chose my url: that one panel where kobd have a vacation at the acid wastes because fuck its finally canon babey!

following: 1,767, which is kinda horrifying!!

followers: 890?? somehow??? thats almost One Whole Thousand and i don't even make content

average hours of sleep: around 6 or 7!! n e v e r more though

lucky number: 43 and 64!!

instruments: i'm too poor to afford music lessons or instruments jsbddsjknfs

what am i wearing: a grey shirt and nothing on my bottom half so my [redacted] is hanging tf out, i should put on some damn clothes

dream job:  oooo uhhh, i’m studying to get an education degree rn because i’d love to teach children (around grade 3-4s preferably because i'm too jittery to handle anyone younger and older kids probs won't listen to me as much as i lack plenty of assertiveness), but!! i’d honestly love to be a musician, one of those underground ones that get lots of critical acclaim

dream trip: one day i wanna gather up some friends and just go on a road trip! idm where we go to, as long as we just have fun and just! adventure!

favourite foods: rare steak, mashed potatoes, eggs, and energy shakes made with like. fruit / cheese / yoghurt / oats / chia seeds ! protein is a large part of my diet

nationality: new zealand, but living in australia

favourite song right now: best part | daniel caesar // h.e.r - gosh i need to re-listen to daniel’s album again, i don’t remember this beautiful song being there and that’s a crime

@damndesi / @novarebel / @luciform-philogynist

APPEARANCE - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo (but I am getting a tā moko in December, I believe) - I have at least one piercing (planning to get a nose ring, like a bull!) - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined (b a r e l y) - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (barely) - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol (tastes like shit) - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concerts

MY LIFE - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live relatively close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone (do fractures count?) - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages (not fluently) - I have made a new friend in the past year

@smstransformers

age: 16

birthplace: auckland, nz

current time: 4:19 pm rn!!!

drink you last had: i just skulled half a liter of water whoops

favourite song: jesus etc. | wilco if we're talking abt an all-time favourite

grossest memory: accidentally swallowing a bee when i was seven years old (somehow nothing bad happened?)

horror, yes or no: not unless it’s an incredibly tame horror t b h, my threshold for scariness is very low

in love: i believe so!

jealous of people: lots of times, over really dumb things

love by first sight or should I walk by again: i believe that infatuation can exist at first sight but true love not so much. wish that could happen tho :C

middle name: shane!

siblings: my sister is eight years old, and my brother is seven!

one wish: EZ, make my anxiety disappear, i’d have a much more productive life

song i last sang: jupiter | haiku hands

time i woke up: 7:13, woke up immediately because i usually like to wake at 6:30

underwear colour: blue + purble

vacation destination: auckland / kingston / sydney!

worst habit: not remembering to make my goddamn bed, it looks like garbage

favourite food: mashed potatoes….

zodiac sign: sagittarius !!!

@alyonian

relationship status:

at the moment i’m single! and while being in a relationship sounds brilliant, the last two relationships i was involved in? didn’t work out to say the least, lucky i’m still young

favourite colour:

it’s been emerald green for the longest time but orange seems to be dethroning it at a steady pace

lipstick or chapstick:

i haven’t used chapstick since i was six but i probably should use it again, water is my substitute rn fdghdgh - and i haven’t ever used lipstick in any capacity? so i’d have to go with the former

last song i listened to:

the space traveller’s lullaby | kamasi washington - i’m trying to get through his second album rn (i left off on the second disk yesterday) and while everything he makes is undeniably amazing, it’s? a three hour album? i don’t have the attention span for his spiritual jazz, as great as it is

last movie:

monsters inc is playing on the television right now, i’ll go with that! the animation aged kinda badly but it’s still such a fun movie! sidenote: james p. sullivan? a childhood crush, so this gives me memories

top 3 tv shows/podcasts/comics:

i rarely, if ever, venture into these forms of media but! if i had to answer, i’d say;

unbreakable kimmy schmidt / parks & recreation / luke cage

taz / mbmbam (i havent like. watched a full episode of either but they seem cool,)

tf idw / …………. yeah that’s it, i’ve never read anything else. probably should!

additional favs:

my friends, writing (in theory), listening to video essays, learning music theory + instruments and understanding audio production software

top 3 bands / artists:

HHH okay if i had to limit my choices to just three artists, uh. lorde, the mountain goats, and sophie. i couldnt even fit janelle in i hate th is

----------------------------------

@alyonian

color(s): light colors are always nice and pleasant, though anything peachy and sandy are the best! orange (specially pastel orange) is like. the best thing

last band t-shirt i bought: usually merchandising is very expensive and i dont have the money to accommodate that, but like. i do recall having a wiggles shirt when i was five. i wore it all the time, shjdjgsksd im sure that counts

last band i saw live: i almost went to splendor in the grass last year with family, which wasn't only cool since i’ve never been out of the state since i immigrated - the festival was in queensland, which is around a two hour flight from victoria - but the lineup was pretty fuckin lit too! the xx, haim, peking duk, tash sultana, future islands, vallis alps, a.b original,, i was p excited! unfortunately my uncle fell ill and so they had to give the tickets to extended family :( otherwise, i haven't been to a single concert in my life

last song i listened to: street fighter mas | kamasi washington - up to this song on the album and i really fuckin dig this! also the video is hypnotizing

last movie i watched: monsters inc is about to finish and up next is monsters university! which like…. honestly, this is an extremely unpopular opinion but, i like it just as much as the original? my opinion might be skewed because i’m a monster [hugger], but i like everything abt the movie! except for the finale of the scare games and the last five minutes of the movie, both were just. dreadful.

last three tv shows i watched: if aggretsuko counts that’s the last series i watched of my own volition, which is a miracle in itself considering that’s legit only the second anime i’ve watched to completion (the first being shirokuma cafe, which i probably need to re-watch). otherwise, the last two shows i had beared witness to were thirteen reasons why and queer eye bc my cousin put them on! that first show i could completely do without but queer eye is iconique

last 3 characters i identified with: grimlock (legit. all of them), urdnot grunt (mass effect) and vector the crocodile (sth), i’m not sure what this says about me other than Big

book(s) i’m currently reading: i’m reading ‘maus’ by art spiegelman at the moment, for the third time i believe? i believe my classmates are supposed to be writing an essay on this next term and shit, this novel is heartbreaking, i haven't been this emotional when reading a book than… ever, really. it’s a recommendation of the highest caliber

@victorion

name: leon / lionel, i picked up the second name because i was in a server with an admin that was also a Leon™

nickname: besides ‘Big Gay’ i also have the nickname ‘lemon lion’ which is! nice!!

zodiac sign: archer man

height: Tall™

language(s) spoken: english / some maori + italian

fav fruit: watermelons (only when in season)

fav scent: the smell of a freezer tbh? it just smells Nice i don’t know how to properly explain it

fav season: spring! the breezes are welcoming without being overbearingly freezing

fav color: ornge,,,,

fav animal: SHARKS + CROCS + FERRETS

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea! with some milk tho

average hrs of sleep: too little

fav fictional character: One character?????? uhhhhhhh……. like. biggest cc right now is either idw skids or oz from monster prom

no. of blankets you sleep with: depending on my mood but i’d say the average is like, 3??

fav songs: i quickly whipped up some songs i listen to

fav artists: i came to the realization that i like acts that are considered ‘bad’ like maroon 5/drake/lil yachty etc in specific doses… i wouldn't call them good yet, but! i have no beef and thats good

fav books: remember ‘where the wild things are’??? that shit was like. literal childhood, man.. :happytears: i really need to look for a copy again

@thonany-klieme

name: leon / lionel, interchangeable really

gender: male, im probs an nb guy

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1

sexuality: gay??? im not sure, im mostly attracted to other guys but i have had very brief crushes on girls + nb people? sexuality’s confusing so im gonna just latch to the gaybel (gay label) for now

lock screen image: its the album cover of 1992 deluxe by princess nokia, tho it was “T Hanos” a few days ago since i change it often - my home screen is venom but his torso says ‘fuck machine’

ever had a crush on a teacher: no??

where do you see yourself in ten years: ideally i’m teaching kids math n english, realistically i’m probably going down with the political climate

if you could go anywhere, where would you go: new zealand!! or the netherlands

what was your favorite halloween costume: halloween is not big at all where i live, the only time i tried trick or treating was when i was like 7?? i threw a bedsheet on myself and pretended to be a ghost, though since there were no eyeholes + the sheet was blue, it looked more like i was just a moving lump

last kiss: never had one

have you ever been to las vegas: nah and i dont plan to?? how do you handle regular days of 40C wtf

favorite pair of shoes: i have this pair of jandals that ive worn for a fair bit longer than my other pair of shoes, tho i only wear them in summer + very warm nights

favorite book: ngl its. ‘the very hungry caterpillar’ by eric carle. i just, love it alot and i cant explain w h y

[loriinae]

recent mental health happenings

don/t re/blog this pls thx

me, for 1.5 months @ the psychiatrists office for a checkup: im doing great! i cant think of anything troubling me

psychiatrist: wow! you dont sound depressed at all, sounds like the meds r doing good for you. ill keep you on the same stuff and ill see u again in 3 mo

immediately after, someone points out ive been a bit distant, and ive realized other ppl have been making comments here and there abt it ... its fine its ok ive been good even if ive been a little detached its just cus im busy (work/school/recent health troubles meaning frequent dr/pharmacy trips)

me, a week later: crying almost daily and feeling on edge abt everything

me, now, after eating/practicing driving/buying smth online: i feel alright! i can do this! i just have to get thru this. it wont be bad forever

and yet.... in the back of my mind... i kno if i think too hard abt any one subject ill start crying. maybe i should just keep myself busy? but that makes my stress build up and i have a crash.. existing peacefully is hard ):

less vague, medical stuff, ive been feeling self conscious abt myself bc im taking 7 pills a day (4 of which are the same med, so 4 dif prescribed pills) and i have to do a daily morning/night nasal routine and i havr to do this for a month (normally its just 6 pills) and i kno i shouldnt feel BAD abt being on lots of meds and that its not a bad thing. and yet ... bad feelings happen. i think it might be partially from my mom telling me every other day that i should wean off my pills someday and that i shouldnt rely on them longterm

im on extra stuff bc of a ears/nose/throat specialist whos trying to help me with my weird scent problem. idk if ive mentioned here before, but ive had inconsistent occurrences of some strange smell since december... im bad at describing smells, but it gets worse if i forget to brush my teeth, eat/smell greasy/sugary foods, use makeup sprays or visit makeup stores, drink alcohol... ive asked ppl around me if they smell anything, and ask them to smell my breath, but its just me... blowing my nose makes it worse? and it usually goes away after a night of sleep but sometimes it doesnt. it shouldnt be a big deal but sometimes it gets so unpleasant its distracting, or so foul i cant eat. anyways idk what the hells going on and so far the specialist doesnt either. so ive spent $160 on 2 specialist visits, an antibiotic prescription for sinusitis (which i dont have), and a CT scan to check my sinuses (which are perfectly fine). i have another $10 prescription, and an allergy test scheduled (prob another $50) and another specialist appt (def another $50) but i feel like im throwing my money down the drain while the problem persists /:

on top of that, im trying to work on car stuff, since im 20 and dont have my license and im relying on other ppl for rides even tho i got a car... but my car was cheap on cargurus and we've sunk a lot of money fixing stuff (also fixing things i caused... ie accident repair and battery repair - the battery died bc i hadnt been driving it) and we're spending more... also i dont think ill get over my car anxiety for a while

SO work/school/normal health stuff + extra health stuff/car stuff im....... very very stressed. on top of that im having some social stuff going on. and idk if the problems are real problems, or my stress makes me think its problems... either way it also adds to my stress. also makes me feel like i cant talk to anyone abt my stress so im posting this instead!!

anyways. i should be working on hw i have a rough draft due tues, a test on wed, as well as a big paper (10% of my class grade) due on wed. and i havent started work on any of it 🙃

i would greatly appreciate kind words from friends , or strangers ... ough

[writeinspiration]

suggestions for a young writer? im 15 and i just started seriously writing about a year ago~ since then I've written mostly poetry but I really write other stuff like short stories or plays too! but i always have trouble making my ideas ideas into something and just deciding how or what i want to write. and i get so worried that i lose motivation! i think that i first want to tackle trying to make characters/a simple short story. advice, tips, or tricks? thank youuu!

Hi! I’m glad you’re ready to get started! Beingeager about writing is the best. Writing a poem is a lot like writing a shortstory, so you’re on the right track. Good writing is precise and almost lyrical.

It can be really difficult to maintain motivation.Most people will advise you to write every day, which is good advice, but it’sjust not always feasible. The more you write, the better you will get!

Personally, titles and concepts and characters areall equally likely to get me started on a project. A cool title might pop up inmy head, and then I develop what story and characters go with it. Or I’ll havea concept that I’ll develop and label. Other times, I start with a characterand figure out who they are and what they do.

Here’s my most popular post regarding charactercreation: https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/158687382194/how-do-you-create-characters-or-do-they-come-find

Keeping motivated can be really difficult whenyou’re unsure of your capabilities as a writer. But the more you wait to putyour ideas to the page, the harder it will be to pick things back up. Onceyou’ve gone a week without writing, one more day seems like nothing. One moreweek, one more month… where does it stop?

I’ve seen people suggest leaving off in the middleof a sentence. When you do that, you are setting up for success. You alreadyknow exactly how that sentence will end and where it will lead. So once you sitdown with it again, you can hit the middle of the sentence without staring at atotally blank page.

I have a lot of different posts and tags that mayhelp you out!

Writer’s block and depression (1), and again (2), and some pick-me-ups (3)

First drafts don’t have to be good. 

Write a whole bunch of crappy sentences if that’s what it takesto get a good one.

Don’t let it get you down. Just get it done.

Your big ideas are worth pursuing.

This post in particular will likely resonate with you and how you feel right now: https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/132168477614/ive-been-trying-to-write-for-years-unfortunately (full text included at the very, very bottom of this post)

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Useful tags:

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/search/young– stuff relating to young writers and characters

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/search/inspiration– inspiration

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/search/motivation– motivation

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/tagged/depression– depression

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/search/characters– everything relating to characters

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/search/writing+prompt

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– writing prompts

Specific posts that address some of your concerns:

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/144610505447/if-you-see-a-need-fill-it– If you see a need, fill it.

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/152075979524/fuckyeahyoungadultlit-tachycardiia– diversity in YA lit

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/132168477614/ive-been-trying-to-write-for-years-unfortunately– starting to write

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/131428782622/cliches-in-ya-romance– clichés in YA romance

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/131034862609/lizardpeopledearreader-honestly-if-stephanie– There’s always someone worse.

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/104205593649/jetpack-johnny-rose-for-a-tenner-actually– Curiosity is important.

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/23740953643/setting– starting with setting

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/151665809147/learning-the-essentials-of-plotting-your-novel– plotting

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/149405245039/i-have-an-insanely-bad-time-writing-dialogue-any– dialogue

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/169191903744/behind-me-is-infinite-power-before-me-is-endless– possibilities

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/167418537238/startledoctopus-ronibravo-i-started-writing– any reason to start writing is a good reason

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/96119396642/cranky-crustaceans-pupukachoo– Pixar’s rules for storytelling

30THNOVEMBER 2013

QUOTE REBLOGGEDFROM BLOTS& PLOTS WITH 105,191 NOTES

Young writers should read books past bedtime andwrite things down in notebooks when they are supposed to be doing somethingelse.

— Lemony Snicket  (via blotsandplots)

14THDECEMBER 2012

The question for each man to settle is not what hewould do if he had means, time, influence and educational advantages; thequestion is what he will do with the things he has. The moment a young manceases to dream or to bemoan his lack of opportunities and resolutely looks hisconditions in the face, and resolves to change them, he lays the corner-stoneof a solid and honorable success.

— Hamilton Wright Mabie

7THNOVEMBER 2017

PHOTO REBLOGGEDFROM FIXYOUR WRITING HABITS WITH 2,493 NOTES

[Image transcript:The Rules of Writing

1: Write crappy first drafts.2: Words don’t bleed. Cut them.3: Write now. Edit later.4: There are NO mistakes–only creative opportunities.5. Don’t think. Just write.6: Rules? There are rules?]

Starting to write:

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/132168477614/ive-been-trying-to-write-for-years-unfortunately

deathtotheselfie asked:I’ve been trying to write for years. Unfortunately I’m very young and theschooling I’ve received on writing is nothing like I what I write about. I’monly 14 now, but little phrases and ideas bounce around in my head. Howeverwhen I write I feel like it’s not good or mature enough because of my lack ofexperience. I can’t tend to think of original plots as I’m just surrounded inother people’s work. Do you have any advice on plot development? And do youthink I should continue trying to write?

Hi! Your question makes me quite sad. If you liketo write, then you should pursue it. It’s that simple.

School doesn’t help much in terms of creativewriting. Over the summer, when I was little, my mom would make my sister and mewrite short stories. It kept me in the habit of writing even when school wasn’tin session.

(Wanna know a secret? I often got stuck halfwaythrough my story, so I’d coerce my sister into showing me hers. Then I wouldwrite the same events but in my own words. I did this for quite a while onesummer. Maybe two.)

Not only does school keep you ridiculously busy,but it also doesn’t like teaching creative stuff much either, because math andscience are deemed as more important than anything related to the arts.

All those negative voices banging around in yourhead along with all the good ideas you have? You need to learn to silence them.Those things are what you are being trained to think.

Here’s what nobody seems to know about writing:you have to start  somewhere. No one starts off as an amazing writer.

People expect writers to have this magical well ofintuition, but honestly, it just comes from practice.

You know that thing about practicing 10,000 hoursin order to become a master at something? It applies to writing, too.

Writers write.

You need to watch and write things down–what youobserve can be the basis for characters or plot or whatever. Eavesdrop on astranger’s phone conversation to get a peek into other people’s lives. Sit on abench in the mall and watch people go by.

Do you know how babies learn? They observe otherpeople doing things and then try to mimic them.

I don’t mean that fledgling writers are babies, ofcourse, but I mean that you can get your best work by reading other people’swork.

Figure out what you like to read, what you don’t liketo read. And then ask yourself WHY.

What is it about that book you hated? Was it thecharacters? The plot? The slow story-telling?

What did you love about that one book? How did itmake you feel? What parts made you feel that way?

I was in middle school when I began reading a Series of Unfortunate Events  (I’m25, for comparison’s sake). Do you know what my writing sounded like while Iwas reading those? Lemony Snicket. It wasn’t on purpose, but that’s just whathappened. (Also for comparison’s sake, I now have had a short story publishedin an actual anthology and completed a 60-page poetry collection as my creativethesis, as well as a book that I’m trying to get published.)

The more you read, the more you gain. If you readenough books, then you’ll have influences from all over that create a uniquewriter: you.

You are the sum of everything you have ever reador seen or thought about.

Yes, you’re a teenager. But that doesn’t stop youfrom observing the world and teaching yourself to understand other writers’work.

If you want to write something but are worriedthat it sounds too much like somebody else, then figure out why it sounds thatway. Is it just you that thinks it sounds that way? Or do other people tell youthat as well? Find out what it is that makes it sound like that. Is it thenarration? The plot? The themes?

Regardless of your answers, you are able to makeit unique to you.

You are a writer, and whatever you write will beyours and yours alone.

As far as plot development goes, I find thatoutlining helps. I don’t always keep to the outline, but askingyourself “Then what happens?” after each event that you write down is thebest thing you can do for yourself.

A plot is a series of events. If you know whathappens naturally after something, then you write that down. It also helps ifyou understand WHY something happens.

She goes to the mall.

Then what happens?

She ends up going home and crying in her room.

Why? What caused this? What physical actionscaused her to want to leave the mall? What mental actions occurred because ofthe physical actions?

She runs into someone she used to be best friendswith, and they get into a fight. This makes her feel disappointed in her friendbut also unsure of herself because she doesn’t know what she has done to makeher friend act that way. She places the blame on herself instead of on herformer friend. This is because she has been told growing up that everything isher fault and that her younger brother can’t do anything wrong.

See what I mean? And it’s okay to ask yourselfwhat you would do in that situation. But your characters are not you. Theyprobably won’t react like you would. And that’s okay and important.

As I told my students last year, ask yourself WHYand HOW after each sentence, after each paragraph, after each plot point, aftereach whatever. It will keep your story going until it reaches its naturalconclusion.

Okay, this ended up being way, way longer than Iintended it to be, haha. But I’m completely serious and obviously verypassionate about this. And I can say way more on the subject at the drop of ahat, so if you have any more questions, then just give me a shout. :)

Best of luck. And don’t stop writing.

I mean it. :)