#Ive been thinking abt it and it could be interpreted in different ways | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jihyoruri · 11 months ago

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okay I NEED to talk abt this bc richgirlyn is literally me FORREAL

so uhh not the analysis I thought I’d be doing but I need to. the other one will be later

ok tw for eds I guess like this is the entire analysis

disclaimer. this is all my interpretation as well as my experience. I’ve had an issues w eating since 8 (almost twins!) and it’s been literal years. this is just what I think based on what I’VE seen and done as a girl. I know men can have ed’s but I will be talking abt it from my standpoint, which is hashtag girl. everyone’s experience is different.

key: ana=anorexia, ed=eating disorder

Ive never dealt with real bulimia so take whatever I say with a grain of salt

okay. here’s why richgirlyn having an ed, specifically how she develops ana as she gets older makes a lot of sense (Ive had a fixation on eds and the way they affect the mind for so long..)

i feel like people forget just how genuinely maddening have an eating disorder is.

most of the time in movies they’re there for laughs and portrayed as “oh she just kinda throws up!” (heathers, the musical) or “oh she wants to be skinny so bad she js doesn’t eat!” (mean girls) (I love both of them btw they’re just what come to mind)

like that is not what they are like AT ALL

eating disorders are some of the most deadly mental illness there is and because it mostly affects teenage girls and women people literally treat it like something not that serious or a joke it’s actually insane how people do not gaf about it

so anyway.

I feel like if children have issues with food they always start out thinking of purging

it makes sense! if you don’t want calories, just get rid of them.

obviously, it doesn’t work that way, and purging doesn’t even actually work well LMAO most of the calories are absorbed unless u throw up like the second food enters ur mouth like it is not foolproof at all.

but to a child it makes sense. the food is gone so you can’t gain weight

and when you’re a kid your gag reflex is way more sensitive so it’s way easier to vomit. when you get older it’s so much harder

bulimia is not really possible long term for idols because of its side effects which are:

erosion of tooth enamel making them appear clear other than white

sunken in, bulging eyes

swollen cheeks

hair loss

GERD

also for the fact it doesn’t really help much with not absorbing the calories + the fact that it affects the appearance, which idols need to be perfect, + the fact that it affects your voice, which idols need, and also throwing up is difficult

much more common in idols is anorexia.

so! actually the side effects of ana aren’t as noticeable if you’re not restricting a lot! at about 700-800 calories max a day I didn’t experience hair loss or getting spots on my skin

It was mostly that I was just tired all the time and kind of irritable. i never experienced any physical effects other than losing weight (didn’t lose much muscle bc most of the cals were protein and I worked out everyday)

anyway

richgirlyn definitely likes control.

we can see how control has been taken from her time and time again— mostly by her dad, making all the decisions while she doesn’t get a say, and later, how her members and the people around her treat her.

eds are about control more than looks. It’s the one safety net, the one thing you can always be good at.

when everything around you is falling apart— you can control what you eat. it’s like an accomplishment. look how low I got the number! I’m so good at this! I’m so disciplined!

It’s like. “no one could ever get as low as me”. It makes you weirdly competitive

and obviously there’s pressure to be skinny as a trainee. It’s what half of your self worth is based on. so if you can control that? and punish yourself (because as we’ve discussed richgirlyn does NAWT like herself that much) while you’re at it? It’s literally gold

she practices and practices, trying to be good enough, the best, and she doesn’t want to eat. eating is kind of like admitting defeat and saying you’re weak and giving in to the need to have food.

oh and y’all don’t KNOW what mommy issues do with an ed like.

if losing weight makes someone PROUD? oh you KNOW you’re dropping to size 0 trust like it’s actually insane. I can’t even explain the real insanity that comes with an ed it makes you actually crazy. you start becoming afraid of certain numbers because they look bigger even if it’s not how it works. ex: it’s better to eat 98 cal than 50 because 98 feels “smaller” like it’s CRAZY. the state of mind you have when you’re doing that is really seriously not normal like I know it’s obvious but people don’t GET IT. you become very obsessive and cagey over it like if you eat over a certain limit you will literally either break down or get up and go work out until you think you’re back under and the guilt eats you up inside. richgirlyn is SAUR MEEEE FOR REAL

so ANYWAY richgirlyn having an ed makes sense. specifically ana.

she likes control, she wants something to feel proud about (along with her singing and dancing and rapping abilities), it’s something her mom’s PRAISED HER FOR so you already KNOW when her mom is like “wowww you’ve lost weight!” she is like I’m gonna get so much worse.

and also there has to be a part of her that wants someone to worry. i know she hates being seen as weak but I just know minjeong saying smth like “oh I wondered how u stay thin it’s cause u js don’t eat” made her feel so validated because it’s proof that she’s sick and she’s not okay and she’s not making it up.

I’m very sure her being well off has completely fucked with the idea of her being “allowed” to feel negative emotions. like “I’m rich, I shouldn’t be sad” but with any negative emotion.

and I know she was getting better until she got put in le sserafim I just KNOW especially CURRENTLY?

the stress of her members disliking her makes her feel worse abt her self making her want more control and also there’s this very fucked up part of it where it’s like. the less I eat and the less space I take up the more they’ll like me, they won’t hurt me if they think I’m sick and fragile and GODDD that’s so her. she wants to be strong so bad but sometimes.

anyway it’s 1 am this isn’t a great analysis maybe I’ll circle back to this but I needed to talk about it

I love richgirlyn she’s witerwally me

-🎏

It’s crazy that everything you just said is so correct like completely correct when it comes to richgirl!yn’s problems.

and because this has been going on since she was ten it’s just a normal routine for her all that girl does is try her best to become better, and because she knows that her image is something that her mother actually pays attention about her, so it’s rlly important to her.

even now that she’s an idol she doesn’t talk to her mom but there’s times when her mom will call her and be like “you look a little different.” and then she’s completely back in that cycle

#🎏anon #richgirl!yn

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zer0fantasy · 1 year ago

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hiiii do u mind if i ask wht ur thoughts on if you find me gone and zero fantasy from laughingfish r? ive been seeing ppl talk abt these 2 a lot in particular so now im kinda curious to hear diff interpretations/opinions and so im asking around

YEAH yess excuse to talk about black dressy

honestly if you find me gone is just. imo one of the saddest songs. i think the themes of incest and inner turmoil bc of it are pretty clear, and wanting to escape in the only way clear but not wanting to leave everyone behind. 1-800-moon seems kinda like a follow up to it, along with some other stuff that shows the obvious turmoil at the whole situation. i currently have beef w someone on bandcamp bc they were like "devi and ada are so right t4t is incest and thats cool" and i hope they get hit by a meteor

as for zero fantasy, idk im not really sure theres any "hidden meaning" i could find thus far, but something i found super fucking cool that one of my friend pointed out to me, is the lyric "is this really what the dreamer feels like. starlight showers us and crushes into every stain, in my head i always thought wed be dissolved so cleanly nobody would ever find a trace" particularly the last two lines, and how they relate to nightwish, a dream

"as our bodies burn to light, as our bodies turn to raw energy with no identity, uh..."

and how it related back to that, and i do think there have been a few lyric of being dissolved into nothing in the past. 100% zero fantasy is my favorite song from the album and listening to it makes me cry and its interesting talking to people and getting different perspectives on it. the line "now i dont hate myself anymore i just cant protect her" is personal to me in a way i wont get into, but ada has a habit of referring to her past self in the 3rd person so theres a double meaning you could get from it. accepting thst you cant protect a loved one from every possible point of harm, or accepting that you couldnt have protected who you were from the harm you came into. i do feel like. overall the song is jusr,, perserverance. no matter how bad it is, no matter how many dreams are killed, no matter if youre doing the right thing or not, youll still see the mcdonalds summers, youll still go on and a new world will form

#ender.txt #autism heaven #a2t #dead bitches

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y2kinnow · 3 months ago

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here to ask u abt studio ghibli whats ur favourite movie 😋

OHMYGOD ILY TYSM

now i get to yap abt my favs 😼 you WILL regret asking me this 😋

HHAHAHAH OKAY LETS BEGIN

1. Whisper of the Heart

this one is my TOP fav movie. like not even from studio ghibli bro this is just my ALL TIME FAV. seiji and shizuku are so asjsejs goals!! and their dynamic is SO cute like ugh diabetes inducing😣💗

PLUS PLUS theyre the only trope i know of that navigates long distance the best. lately all the books and shows ive watched end with the BEST COUPLE with the BEST CHEMISTRY breaking up?? and its not even a very well thought out reason its just plain bad writing???? i will NEVER get over cisco and gypsy breaking up in the flash like it was just SO dumb (but thats another rant for another day hehe)

i LOVE the way theyve portrayed ambition and drive because on one hand seiji knows he loves this girl but he also knows that he must be successful so as to give her the best life possible. and shizuku doesnt want to ask him to stay because that would be depriving him of his ambition !! AND AND she wants to live out her own dreams just like him!!!! THATS SO GREEN FLAG BRO LIKE OMG?? GOALS

since movies could only be so long, hayao miyazaki couldnt show ALL of their development (at least thats what i like to believe) and their story mightve felt a little too fast paced/rushed but trust me it was 100% pure and very realistic

2. Ocean Waves

Okay now Ocean Waves is controversial... Many people, (and i mean MANY people) hate it for a bunch of different reasons. Mainly cs they think its not a very accurate representation of teenagers and its not "realistic" + "how could taku just straight up follow rikako to TOKYO" + "rikako was abusive" etc etc

BUT heres the thing: this movie was highly misunderstood. LEMME BE CLEAR THO- its not AMAZING or anything but to say it was subpar is an insult to the thought behind it. It is my interpretation that the thought trying to be conveyed here is that teenage!! is!! messy!!!!

youre supposed to make dumb mistakes and do stupid things and follow the wrong people and fall in love with said wrong people because youre still learning how to live!!! Ocean waves might not have been EXTREMELY accurate and even very very confusing (the ending literally left me grasping at straws icl) but thats just what the effect was intended to be XD teenagehood is messy and complicated and confusing for all parties involved. the "fairytale" effect can only take you so far yknow?

3. Only Yesterday

Icl, I loved Only Yesterday for the raw emotion it portrays. I have no idea if Taeko was neurodivergent or not. Imo, it just shows a confusing childhood and the many confusing emotions that come with it as baggage. it shows the struggles of trying to overcome all that you couldnt understand as a kid, and are still trying to understand as an adult- all while navigating a life you were seemingly never prepared for. I relate sm to it, and it just hits so close to home yknow? only yesterday is nostalgic sure, but thats only surface deep. it shows that even when youre an adult, your childhood troubles dont "magically disappear". you take them with you and learn to live with them more as luggage rather than baggage if ygwim

-------------------------------------------------------

these are the only studio ghibli movies ive watched up til now, im going to watch more HAHAH but not until im done with my exams which are in june 💔 so yeah trust theres going to be more yaps then but for now this was my very extra long rant on why i love studio ghibli 😋💗 TYSM FOR THE ASK LOVELY IT WAS SO FUN AND REFRESHING <333

#studio ghibli #rant

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moomeecore · 1 year ago

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hey, i hope this isnt rude, but i value your thoughts on betty (and simon!) and i think about your various analytical pieces often.

so i hope this isnt too vague, but. ive been thinking about the ways betty and simon might differ from each other, specifically in the way they view...everything. do you think one of them has a 'sees the big picture but misses the small details' view and the other has a 'gets lost in the details, cant see the big picture' view? im not sure if they differ here, or if they are both the 'gets lost in the details' but going opposite ways...?

FINALLY getting around to awnsering this. i got sick so it took me even longer than i thought it would (had to wait until i could retain coherent thoughts)!!

Ok So, a lot of this is extrapolating (esp for betty) and goes very into more of a headcanons and Personal Interpretations area than a, like, canon analysis. in part bc the show dosen’t give us a ton of content of these characters (i mean, there’s plenty of simon content as ice king but im talking about pre and post ice king simon here). but yea im just gonna ramble. dont take this super seriously btw guys. again a lot of this is just personal Interpretation yknow

SO i think simon is definitely a “gets lost in the details guy”. at least like, overall. that man overanalyzes things until he goes into a state of paralysis and then he just passes out. in some ways he might better about this post being-freed-from-the-curse, on the basis of "had to survive the apocalypse by thinking on his feet", but also worse about it bc of the lasting impacts of having been ice king. because one of the Big Things about ice king is that he almost never thought anything through and just did things as soon as he thought of them. i think simon probably really wants to be Not Like Ice King and so might be scared of making choices too fast or acting too impulsive. i imagine he’s very worried about behaving like ice king and thats something thats in the back of his mind most of the time, impacting his confidence in his own choices & actions. but also f&c sorta shows that he has that issue of trauma responses causing him to have emotional outbursts and make quick decisions. so thats something to keep in mind.

i think he's, like stuck in a state of being scared to do things without thinking really hard abt them but then sometimes he does that and then he usually regrets it and feels really awful afterwards. not always guilty-awful even. f&c seems to show him feeling angry a lot. to me simon deals not just with guilt over being ice king or recovering from being ice king or Having strong reactions to things or making choices he regrets… but also with Anger At The Situation - a lot of feeling confused and not sure what to do and overwhelmed, i think . (i like that they let him be angry and frustrated, not just sad and depressed. i think this is very realistic to trauma related emotional responses)

the other thing abt simon is he tends to follow other people's lead on a lot of things. i think he just likes not having to deal with the pressure of making decisions. he seems more inclined to lead around f&c than around, like, finn, though. and betty. but i think that’s in part because he was taking on a protector role w them. but yeah. he does a lot of crazy shit in f&c but very noticeably does not really act as a lead decision maker. until they get to the vampire world and they get attacked for a second that man is yelling orders and breaking a chair over his knee and pulling out a pocket knife to carve it into a stake lighting fast. which i loved that. i loved that he gained so much confidence from being in Panic Mode when confronted w vampires Because those where something he had to deal with in the apocalypse when raising marcy. he had to know what to do for marcys sake. other than that tho he's usually making suggestions at most. and agreeing to do scary crazy shit lmao . EXCEPT he decides on his own in secret to try and contact golb . hehe (motivated by wants to see his wife)

(it also seems like when he feels more confident in something he's much more capable of making choices. (makes sense) he wasnt paralyzed by anxiety when going on that research expedition with betty, probably because he was literally getting a phd (or had a phd, the show was so weird abt that) in that subject. makes sense he knows what he's doing. and also is interesting bc in ep2 of fionna and cake when he goes on an Adventure with finn he's very scared and nervous, but then talks about how he "used to be quite the adventurer in [his] day", which fits into the theme f&c had w his character where he feels out of place and less confident bc his whole ass profession isn't really relevant anymore, and everything is so different from how it used to be. so yeah. current simon has even less self confidence and confidence in his own decision making than Back In The Day simon bc of that)

id like to say that…. i think that the fact that it took betty only a few years to summon and eldritch god to free simon from his curse meanwhile it took simon 12 years to get to the point where he kidnapped a guy to use in a summoning ritual to talk to betty is interesting. bc i really do think they both love each other, and are both obsessive and co dependent. but betty went off the deep end so fast, meanwhile simon took a lot longer to do something comparatively Less Evil for betty. i think that a lot of this is because simon is just less confident in his choices, more nervous about making decisions, and *slower* at making decisions. in part because of a obsessive focus on details (i also think a buncha other stuff contributed to the difference in how long it took betty vs simon to do differing levels of fucked up shit for eachother but Yeah that’s the relevant part.)

i wouldn't say betty is a "think about the big picture, ignore the details" person though, necessarily. maybe compared to simon she is, but she's still a huge fucking nerd. she's an academic! to me she's someone who takes issues and situations that are more subjective and translates them into concretely structured language in order to guide herself through what actions she should take (my friend responded to this with “so what youre saying is betty took a philosophy class and was like ‘aw yes! Math!’” and yeah that is exactly what im saying)

i feel like canon sort of implies this, and definitely doesn't Not Imply It, but i also think canon didn't flesh out her character very well, so in a lot of ways im making my own assertions. but i think she's the type of person who likes to view things in ways that are ....not necessarily less complicated, but more concrete? like she can handle an uber complicated math problem with ease, but the way a math problem is complicated is entirely different from the way a social interaction is complicated, you know. and she's way better equipped for the first one.

so, basically, i think betty would be like: Dosent see the bigger picture.... but in a different way from simon, where instead of getting caught up on and overwhelmed by all the little details, she picks a specific angle to view the situation and then focuses on That, often to the detriment of viewing things from a wider, more complex and nuanced perspective. so better at seeing the bigger picture than simon, but still can miss a Lot…

i also feel like she leans towards viewing things as "identify a problem/issue, then find away to eliminate it" and "identify a goal, and find a way to reach it" . like i feel like she'd tackle social and personal situations in this way. it's not like she can't do things for fun or anything, but like, if she upset simon she'd go into Solving A Problem Mode and be like: “The issue is Simon Is Upset. The goal is Make Simon Not Upset. First i have to identify Why simon is Upset, and then how to make him Not Upset. This is The Current Goal I Must Complete.” like, not in an abstract sense. like shes literally narrating that to herself. i think she likes to focus in on "what's wrong here and how do i fix it" as opposed to dwelling on emotions and exploring nuance. (which may be a contributor to how she ended up in that “there’s so little me left anymore” state by temple of mars: she was so focused on Fixing the Problem that she didn’t allow herself to really process her feelings too deeply and that took a toll on her mental health.)

simon is maybe more aware of nuance, which could be part of why he gets caught up on details because he's like "this CANT be properly categorized into something more straightforward, there's actually a billion TRILLION little details and that is stressful". like simon desperately wishes things could be simplified down more but is usually like "actually no, a million things are happening actually". he's like me he would get upset if asked to rate his pain or feelings on a number scale at the doctor (i can’t do that shit for the life of me. Those things are far too complicated to put on a number scale in my eyes). meanwhile betty just will force things into concrete categories and steps and factors that Make Sense To Her with intense fervor and if she starts to have a "this is too complicated to address" moment she feels threatened and then tries very hard to reprocess things in a way that is easier, or just does her best to ignore the things that make stuff too complicated to address

i think betty tends to view things in medium-sized chunks that incorporate some but Not All details in a situation, and that she cares about small details and being thorough but feels like accomplishing the goal is the most important thing, so is willing and able to make a quick decision if she feels it's the only choice. like. she had a limited time before the portal closed, and she chose to jump through it, because she thought "the problem is that im not with simon. simon is on the other side of the portal. ill go there" it's not that she doesn't like to think things through. she loves to think things through! its just that OVERALL she is a Doer who wants to solve the problem and thinks taking action and doing something is way better than sitting there and missing an opportunity. betty will think through the details if she has time, but if she doesnt, she just breaks things down into whatever is most easy to digest and process, and then takes the option that seems.like it will get the most desired outcome based on the available info. and also shes just very confident and headstrong. and THATS. why she punched bella noche

In my eyes betty likes having rules and defined, structured processes about what to do or how to deal with stuff. and she dosen’t really like changing those. she's very autistic. she hates change i think. so does simon. but i think that simon would be more likely to be like: the change in situation is so upsetting that it's making it harder to think and process things, so he just gets overwhelmed and has an even harder time addressing whatever is happening or comprehending it. meanwhile betty is quick to try and find the easiest way to rerout her thinking to fit the new change, she's just really fucking pissed off and stressed out about it (part of this to me is she hates feeling powerless & hates feeling like she might fail). she copes with changes in her surroundings by finding a way to connect the changed situation as well and as fast as possible with her pre existing methods of tackling situations. i think bettys also worse at handling changes in people than changes in situation. to quote my friend when we where texting about this “Situations dont have feelings”.

Like. Betty has so many skills. so much knowledge. but isn’t great with people. And she gets to know people and figures out how to understand them and then THEY CHANGE??? ILLEGAL. and so… like…this is literally her whole thing with simon!! elements seems to imply that betty originally views things as "simon is cursed, i have to fix the curse". but when she makes an attempt to meet simon where he’s at and try to interact with him as ice king, she is unable to handle it. she is upset that he is different, so much so that she concludes the only way to view things is to see them as separate people, even though it was implied that she wasn't doing that before! she was approaching it like he was Simon With Memory Loss…..but then she does her villain betrayal scene and now she's all "things will be back to just me and simon, and you won't exist" . meaning before she directly started interacting with him, she was able to view him as simon, but when she did interact with him for an extended period of time and found out how different he had become, she felt so threatened by this that the only way she could handle it was by switching her view in order to not have to confront the idea that simon could have changed that much. it also meant switching her view to a place where she would be okay hurting simon. but when he starts to protest, get upset, ask what's wrong, and worst of all, insist that he's worthy of respect, that starts to stress her out and she has to talk out loud to herself to reassure herself that she's doing the right thing

and in that scene simon goes "i don't know who this simon guy is, im ice king", which i think is a Big line - he's responded to simon in the past, but doesnt always. Like. he's inconsistent in whether or not he's aware that's a way of referring to him, which makes sense bc he seems to have memory lapses where he remembers things fine one minute and forgets them the next, them remembers about them way later. anyway having him say that simultaneously provides a Confirmation of bettys new perspective, but it also… isn’t meant to. i feel like, to the audience, its saying that "simon has changed so much, he's entirely different now. and this is the way things are, and betty should accept this, but she cant" . to betty its telling her she’s right, but that kind of sucks, because she’s not totally sure how much she wants to be right (she dosen’t want this to be simon, but she also dosen’t want simon to be gone)

(i think the idea of betty Swapping her perspective abt simon during elements as a coping strategy to deal w the panic of What If Simon Is Different + the moral dilemma of potentially hurting him fits nicely into the "betty has bpd" interpretation . my girl is splitting)

(also ik many people interpret simon and ice king as Literally being entirely different people but tbh i think that is way less interesting and doesn't make a lot of sense with the canon. but also ik this is partially because what people consider to be "different people" is subjective. like it depends somewhat on ur perception of identity and stuff. also having different interpretations is valid and fair and all that - and adventure time is often very loose in its text and there’s lots of ways to interpret it. but whatever man im just saying my feelings and That is and Always Will Be the Same guy to me and i think that perspective is waay more interesting to explore than simon getting possessed by an alternate personality or whatever. so im just going under that interpretation….. i think some ppl would perceive the "im ice king" line as being a conformation of them as separate people but to me it's a more abstract representation of the idea that a Drastic Change has taken place that Cannot be reversed!!.... which. Ok eventually it is but tbh i doubt they even knew how they'd end the show by this point and i still think in the context of elements it still works very well as a way driving home both how betty is Not Handling the Situation Well while also making you empathize with her bc u also know how hard that must have been for her to hear)

i think betty is very person-oriented in a unique way!!she's codependent while also being low empathy, introverted, and in many ways socially inept, which is an interesting combo! i really get the vibe that she has always struggled socially and had trouble fitting in, so attaches really heavily to people who she does feel a connection to, and works really, really hard to maintain the relationships she has. i like to think she’s scared of rejection…

i think simon is much more empathetic, emotion-driven, and in tune with others than betty, but i also think he can be Very bad at actually understanding other people on many levels - like with his obliviousness to betty being interested in him romantically until she spelled it out for him, or to the impact of bettys earlier sacrifices. simon also, with the mission to get the crown in f&c, despite his empathetic nature and love for his friends, does not seem to consider that putting the crown on would upset his friends. This shows a "focusing on one thing and missing something else" scenario, and perhaps more of a "thinking abt the big picture" (saving f&c's world) over the details (friends would be sad) thing. so that's interesting. (although i think part of this example in particular stems from his self hatred preventing him from really thinking that his friends would be upset if he did that. but in a sense it is focusing on big picture over details). So theres some nuance there i think

BUT Anyway, i think this issue probably is mainly with him struggling to read people, or fully understand others perspectives, despite caring deeply about people and feeling Upset when he can tell other people are Upset. he cares and he feels very emotionally connected to people, especially people he cares about…. he just isn't that great at picking up on things sometimes. (also. Worth noting, i think its def shown that while simon may be very caring towards his friends and is a generally nice and approachable, well meaning person who wants whats best for other people. He still is very capable of Hating People and Doing Bad Things On Purpose. Don’t want to ignore that. also hes very desensitized to bad things happening in many respects lmao. So its not like hes just always super nice and caring and amazing. He still murdered choose goose to death and That is via the power of choose goose being annoying and Simon Loving Betty)

Betty also struggles to understand other people but instead of being downright oblivious to certain things or being unsure and nervous she finds relating to people and understanding their actions and emotions to be actively difficult and makes an active effort to understand people in a bit of a scientist-looking-at-a-subject way. Which can be helpful sometimes and less helpful other times. like. it's good that she has a way to navigate social interactions . but also that way of addressing things isn't always conductive to a healthy relationship, especially when she doesn't really let simon in on the fact that she's making these sort of analyses where she's like "what will maximize Simon Being Happy and how do i accomplish this" sometimes to her own detriment. simon is just like "wow betty is so confident and good at knowing what she wants" meanwhile betty is like "i will make the best choice For Simon" betty i think is better than simon at reading people but not good at Empathizing With Others Emotions or really Understanding or relating to the emotions behind their actions .

she also is shown to, despite caring So much about simon, not be very considerate or caring towards others (not the same as being low empathy & etc dw im not equating them. Its just on the topic of How She Views Others!!!). To be fair, we don’t see nearly enough of her interacting with people besides simon, but i like to think that she just sorta struggles to really care about and have compassion for Random People but deeply cares about those she is Really close too (but as far as we know, thats just simon)

OVERALLi think they see the world very similarly in some ways and very differently in others and it's an interesting balance. also they are both Autistic. In cconclusion !!

betty

likes to break things down into concrete concepts because she struggles to comprehend more subjective and nuanced experiences, especially in social situations + Feels more comfortable approaching things from a “scientific” perspective because it is familiar and easy for her to navigate; threatened by uncertainty and comforted by things that are more straightforward and well-defined

doesn't dwell on things a ton (esp not as much as simon) because she's very goal-oriented and focused on the Now. she wants to get to the next step. that often then means ignoring Her Own Feelings Or Needs if she deems Other Things to be more relevant or important than them (not good for your mental health) + this also means she’s better at making quick decisions! she cares about details and prefers to have All The Relevant Info but is willing and able to cut things down to a “wider-picture” that helps her make whatever choices will help her achieve her goal - that wider picture just may not always be the Full Actual wider picture.

struggles to put herself in other people's shoes - finds it easier to view herself as an outside party with the goal of achieving the ideal outcome in a social situation. In general has low empathy and struggles to understand/relate to others feelings, which impacts her perspective on things and how she handles/views situations.

(not really mentioned earlier but idk where else to put it:) i also think she has that Autism Trait where you focus in on a specific goal you want to achieve and struggle to focus on anything else until it's accomplished (and that that sort of thinking pattern happened with curing simons curse). where you put off doing anything, even things you could do, until something that you Need to happen (according to your brain, not the real world) happens. Betty put off being person until simon was saved. she put Everything on hold until she accomplished her mission. and this is in a way a form of not seeing the bigger picture, because its overly focusing on a specific thing at the expense of others

(bettys better at balancing seeing the details & the big picture in a sense, but more like. she picks a medium sized chunk of what is going on and focuses on that and acknowledges details when able to but is willing and able to make split second decisions based on little info and is confident in doing so. but whereas i think simon might have more of a "sees the whole big picture but then gets caught up on the details" thing going on, i think betty just straight up focuses on One Portion of something, of varying sizes, which could or could not he considered a "detail", but then almost completely ignores everything else, viewing things as individual challenges or events that need to be addressed before anything else can be)

simon

is someone who really likes to think things through, and can easily get hung up on details and can easily get overwhelmed by those details and sent into a state of anxiety-fueled-spiraling or decision making paralysis

this is worse probably for Current simon because he’s also Trying To DIstance Himself from his identity as ice king, and as ice king he had no impulse control and thought things through very little. so simon likely puts even more pressure on himself to think things through! unfortunately hes also Going Through A Lot Emotionally and sometimes that’s too much and he Dosen’t think things through and just acts on how he’s feeling. And that makes him feel Worse about himself and just Everything in general

he is more confident with his decision making skills if he feels more prepared/knowledgeable on the subject at hand or is taking on a caretaker role (like with marcy, or f&c). but currently he dosen’t have a lot of that going on so that kinda sucks for his self confidence.

simon is better at empathizing with people than betty & at creating connections with others & is more caring towards people he dosen’t know that well - and so may consider Other People more in his perspectives on things. But on the other hand hes not always the best at reading people or understanding their perspectives, even if he feels emotional connections and cares about people, so he can easily overlook other people’s struggles or perspectives within an issue - even if he cares deeply about their wellbeing (very relevant to his relationship with betty)

he’s generally more emotion driven than betty, and dwells on & ruminates about his feelings, sometimes to the point of obscuring his understanding of a situation or his ability to engage with it. On The Other Hand this means he at least acknowledges how he’s feeling meanwhile betty is like “im classifying that as irrelevant information until further notice” lmao.

he’s better at understanding nuance & subjectivity than betty but this contributes to his habit of getting-overwhelmed by everything & Overthinking

(simon focuses on details over the big picture overall. he easily gets caught up in details and panics. he traps himself in cycles of worrying about details that can paralyze him when making decisions, and so prefers to not have to make choices. BUT simons "paralyzed with fear of making decisions" state can often be overturned by the power of Having Strong Emotions and his decisions may be Less Good because of the power of not being great and understanding other people. he's very emotion-driven and currently suffering from a billion mental health issues so sometimes all that gets in the way of his natural over-thinking. hes got a better understanding of nuance than betty & is better at Empathizing with others and more considerate but not all too great at reading them or recognizing others Feelings or Behaviors)

I THINK I REPEATED A LOT IN THIS. AGAIN, KIND OF JUST RAMBLING. HOPEFULLY IT WAS SOMEWHAT COHERENT

#text #asks

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four-bastard-bustle · 1 year ago

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You know I've always wondered how your interpretation of Matt would've reacted to being punched in the face by Tord in the end part one. Like, he seems the kind of guy who would either go whimper and hide behind Edd like a puppy or would punch back.

Ok so like see this is where you unleashed the floodgates because ive thought abt this scene for ages because its such a peak example of ew(legacy) failing the serious/emotional moments. Making this piece of violence work in a sea of violence is no small undertaking, but I think what it really comes down to is the difference in context between the guys slapping each other around for shits n giggles with no real malice, and the outright fury expressed by Tord in that scene in the episode. If that had been emphasised more, it couldve been peak I think.

This is kind of a lot so its going under the cut

But like, my version of Matt specifically. I mentioned in a couple posts that he was abused pretty heavily as a kid and was occasionally even hit by his father. So having someone suddenly express clear fury over him for doing whatever he was doing and punch him brings back a massive flood of terrible memories. Usually, when one of the other guys hits him, Matt starts whining and complaining. He’s the type to talk and yell a lot when he gets mad. But the sudden fear he feels makes him completely clam up. This is further compounded by the fact that Tord (and by extension Red Leader) goes nonverbal when furious.

Matt lies there on the cold floor. In his mind he sees all the times his father has held him down and “lectured” him for “inappropriate behaviour”. Sometimes he’d even hold his son down by the neck and start squeezing. Strong hands grab his collar and he can feel the air being choked out of him. Matt is surprised that he’s being liften up instead of pushed down for once.

His mind reeling, he can’t tell if the face staring at him in a blind fury is his father’s or “Tord”’s. They’re blending together. They look so terrifyingly similar.

The monster raises its fist but something stops it. A hand clad in green is holding the monster back. There’s talking. Matt wishes he could hear any words. Everything is just ringing for him.

Edd for his part is very much overwhelmed with this situation. As much as he cares for his friends, he is TERRIBLE with conflict resolution. So far, he’s been lucky enough to never need it, but also so far any scraps the boys have gotten into were just petty arguments. This is very different.

Edd starts by just telling “Tord” to let Matt go, at which his grip tightens. He really doesn’t want to add to this by getting physical too, so he just repeats the command, but a little more gently. The fist Edd is holding back shakes a little, but finally “Tord” lets Matt go.

The sound of heavy breathing is filling the room, and no one is able to look one another in the eyes. But after a bit, Red Leader finally collects himself enough to express one clear command.

“Get out of my room.”

Matt doesn’t need to be told twice, and though he’s on shaky legs, he hurries out. Edd gives Tord one more glance before leaving as well. But not without first telling Tord that the two of them are going to talk about this later, when he’s calmed down.

After that, he brings an ice pack to Matt’s attic. The cold helps with the swelling and with Matt’s ongoing panic attack.

But really, Edd is feeling just about every negative emotion right now. He hates how he froze up in shock for a second when Matt got punched instead of immediately helping him up. He wonders why the hell “Tord” felt this protective over a stupid ass button. He hates seeing one of his friends lose himself in a fury this way. He hates seeing another one of his friends have a full on panic attack. He hates that this is kind of the best he can do right now. And he wonders, just what the hell is going on with “Tord” and his secret room.

I want the scene to be so deeply painfully awkward. I want there to be no way Red could laugh it off, or change the topic. I want the three of them to stew in negative emotions like its an awful soup.

Also, the ice cream line. Part of me gets so pissed off by it because Matt literally said he hated ice cream in H&F. But also, as a scene where like, Matt gets too scared to mention that so he just meekly agrees. That’s really good. And I think(?) that’s what the scene was actually intended to be? But they should’ve expressed this better, maybe have a bit in the store where Matt mumbles to himself “But I hate ice cream” as he puts it in the shopping cart. That would definitely be a part of it all in my version of it.

And most importantly no “who’s my brave little soldier” because fuck that line. Infantalize my man like that again and I’ll smite thee.

Uh I mentioned doing my own hc au version of th* *nd and not making it as melodramatic, so I don’t think this would happen in my version of the entire episode. But this is just my version of the Scene. Very different things

#You underestimated my favourite trope. Blabbermouth characters being stunned into silence #And trauma #Writing #I could swear i had a writing tag but i don't remember it #ew matt #ew edd #ew red leader #eddsworld #bastard related inquiries #Read my text boy

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assignedfaggatbirth · 6 months ago

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so as a jew who grew up in a pretty christian part of the US, who has always been interested in biblical interpretation, and who spends a lot of time on the internet-- ive seen a LOT of examples of christians confidently asserting what they were taught abt the bible as fact, without realizing that what they're saying isn't even universal within protestantism, let alone the objectively correct reading.

example: in the story of adam and eve, some christians read the "fruit" as a euphemism for sex. their reading is that satan told eve abt sex, she seduced adam, and this act is why they were cast out of the garden. this ties "original sin" directly into purity culture: literally, the root of all evil, the cause of everything that is wrong with the world, is sex. specifically a woman tempting a man into having sex. they will INSIST that this is the intended meaning of the story, that that's what actually happened. but the thing is, not only is that not in the text*, not even all christians believe that! ive seen ppl who grew up christian express surprise that this interpretation even exists!

*which doesn't automatically invalidate that reading, to be clear. i firmly believe that while some readings are better supported than others, there is no single, objective meaning to any given part of the text. that's what makes it interesting!! and that view of the bible is not some newfangled postmodern twisting of scripture--that's how jews have been engaging with it for literal thousands of years.

so with that as context, i kinda thought i was immune to that--after all, if i don't think any interpretation is universal, how could i be harboring assumptions about how the text should be read? turns out i was WRONG, and the realization hit me like a pomegranate to the skull.

i was watching a video abt creationism, and something the presenter said abt the story of adam and eve threw me-- i think she implied that the immortality in the garden was caused by eating the fruit of the tree of life, and adam and eve became mortal because they stopped eating it after being thrown out. i was a little surprised bc i was taught that they were tossed out to prevent them from eating from the tree of life, which would have made them permanently immortal.

that's a pretty minor point though, and not the assumption im here to talk about. as i was gathering my thoughts abt that, i stumbled onto an even bigger thought-- hang on, do christians not read eating the fruit of knowledge to represent humans gaining self-awareness???

in retrospect, of course they don't. it implies that eating the fruit and being cast out of the garden were inevitable and necessary steps in the development of humans, as opposed to Sin that keeps us from the ideal world (in which none of us ever existed... can you tell im not big on original sin?). but it's always seemed SO obvious to me that this is the point of the story???

humans start off as just another animal, albeit one with a special caretaking role; able to communicate but unable to comprehend morality or really exhibit much free will. but our curiosity leads us to knowledge animals weren't meant to have, and suddenly we're Different. we wear clothes now. as a consequence of this, we can't live in the simplified world anymore. life gets more complicated--it's harder, but our ability to engage with the complexity also makes it more rewarding.

what's really funny abt me having that assumption and not recognizing it is i don't even know how much of that i was explicitly taught?? like the specific point that "knowledge of good and evil"="self-awareness/sapience" is something that has always felt obvious to me, but i don't actually know where i got that from?

anyway the point of this post is NOT that my interpretation is correct and yours is wrong. the point is i think it's funny that ive been walking around with the vague assumption that everyone saw it that way, without even realizing i was thinking that. if you have examples of biblical interpretations you were suprised to find out weren't universal pls add them.

#cw bible #bible #hebrew bible

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mekatrio · 1 year ago

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ok gushing abt the best thing ever aka case 4

was not expecting maya to get kidnapped at all... it was rly shocking to see phoenix completely lose his composure when he learned that she was kidnapped, bc this was the first time tht had ever really happened. throughout the game we had seen him act differently than usual whenever edgeworth was brought up, refusing to acknowledge him and even going as far as to snap at franziska. but to see him completely lose it and become so so panicked.. THAT WAS AWESOME!!! it was very suspenseful and unnerving in the best way like GRAGHHHHH and with some New Music too.. and it was really just emotional to see wright be so panicked and at his wit's end so many times throughout this case :( it did a really excellent job at solidifying just how much maya and phoenix mean to one another..🥲 and i was really touched by maya's (and pearl's!) unwavering faith that phoenix would save her 😭

phoenix's outburst at edgeworth was so surprising to me!!! i had absolutely no idea what edgeworth's return wouldve been like and how phoenix would react to him, but i was definitely not expecting FOR HIM TO SAY HE WISHED HE WAS DEAD LIKE BRO!!!!! but it does make sense for him to react this way, hes so fucking stressed abt maya its crazy, and edgeworth just returns smug af and speaking in riddles 💢 wright's reaction also gets further explained much later where its shown that in his grief and anger, he dealt with this loss by rationalizing that edgeworth had ran away bc phoenix dented his perfect record, and thats why he says it wouldve been better for edgeworth to have stayed dead; bc to cope, he had to characterize edgeworth as a coward. and 1.) i think its so interesting that we dont understand this until near the end, meaning we as players are left clueless abt phoenix's emotional state and 2.) THIS GIVES HIM SO MUCH DEPTH and further shows us how phoenix deals with loss, my personal interpretation w the info i have is that i think this motherfucker can barely deal with loss at all, and he had to believe that edgeworth was a coward who ran away rather than a victim of suicide or something, otherwise he wouldve lost it completely. but its open-ended enough tht it can be interpreted in a variety of ways WHICH IS AWESOME!!!! WOW!!!!!! The gradual unravelling of his emotional state is just SOOO FUCKING GOOD WHWHAHHS

speaking of edgeworth, bc he made an appearance so early in the case (i wasnt expecting him to be here day 1), i had wondered what role he would be fulfill, since we already have our prosecutor franziska.... AND THEN SHE GOT SHOT?!?!? AND EDGEWORTH IS OUR PROSECUTOR AGAIN?!?!? the stakes increased like fucking crazy.... both trial days were so good, 2nd one is my fave for reasons ill state later but this first one was still good too, bc i truly wasnt sure whether my client was guilty or not.. usually theres a more likelier culprit or the game just straight up shows the actual killer, but this time around it was so woahh cuz like andrews was very obviously lying which conveniently frames her as the killer, but then like maya got kidnapped and why would she be kidnapped if engarde is innocent.. also the fact that we needed to wrap this trial up in One Day was STRESS and then towards the end suddenly WHAT andrews is saying she isnt guilty?!?! randomly accusing people of murder is actually.. a bad thing to do?!?!? (<- sarcasm ive been criticizing phoenix for this this entire time) but yeah i was legitimately blindsided by the fact tht andrews was saying she wasnt guilty, it rly was a wake-up call for me and mr. wright cuz in every past case, unraveling inconsistencies brought us to the truth, and here we did that again, but in the panic to free maya, we didnt make our assumptions as airtight as it possibly could be and we basically almost fucking... punished an innocent person which is. insane. more on this (wright's manner of defense getting criticized) later..

also i was worried that id have to use andrews' mental illness against her to save maya which wouldve been a terrible terrible thing to do. luckily edgeworth is way edgier than i ever thought he could be and like a goddamn bastard he revealed her illness to everyone so i didnt have to. and yes towards the end that helps everyone including andrews, but at the time that was fucking FUCKEDDD up of him. my god. another note abt edgeworth, my memory is imperfect so maybe this isnt true at all, but in this trial it really did feel like edgeworth had changed a lot. like he actually gave wright multiple turns to speak, didnt rush the verdict, and when he saw wright's panic, he actually helped to prolong the trial..... like omg. hes no longer a von karma!!! THAT IS EPIC!!! but yes first trial day was crazily amazing, and when it ended with a new sprite of phoenix with his head in his hands that was really :((((( like that actually surprised tf out of me and made me so sad......

ok time to talk abt narumitsu. in this universe where every character behaves so over the top, more reigned-in and subtle emotional reactions tend to be much more striking and its bc of this reason that i find the interactions between wright and edgeworth to be soo compelling.. like its hard to explain cuz these guys do have their dramatic af moments, what with the way they are in court + faking suicide + phoenix's outburst, but their interactions are still grounded in a degree of subtlety, they dont have emotionally charged shouting matches or weep openly or whatever, and when they do lose composure, theres a gradual build-up to it. what im basically saying is that im a huge fan of the restraint in their relationship, i think it makes for an extremely interesting and enticing dynamic and their interactions in this last case was just so so good bc of this, phoenix is clearly still angry yet edgeworth is clearly trying to help him, and even tho hes still pissed wright accepts his help bc they are adults who have a job to do and its only towards the very end do they properly air out their feelings like Yesssss i love this. also!! i really liked how their roles have swapped around in this game, in the first game phoenix was saving edgeworth; he helped him realize the errors of his ways and later defended him when edgeworth was on trial, and now in this game edgeworth is returning the favor, and is making phoenix realize the error of HIS ways and is helping him to save maya... like that is GROWTH!!! and of course the way their rejection towards one another has swapped too, first game had edgeworth rejecting us and putting us down cuz we're rookies, and this time around wright is the one rejecting edgeworth cuz he thinks hes still a petty perfection-driven lawyer. but they still manage to bypass these presumptions and save one another. it came back full circle in such a great way that im like so satisfied with it to a point tht im curious if edgeworth will even do anything in the next game bc like is there anything more to be said and done??

moving on, 2nd trial is easily my favorite trial so far bc of how its such a subversion of everything ive came to expect from these trials, mia's wisdom of believing in your client no longer holds steadfast but i cant just out my client cuz 1.) i am a goddamn defense attorney and 2.) maya's life is being held ransom. and also like we have to prolong this trial for as long as possible so the cops can search for maya but we also cant just throw shit around and get penalties, we have to defend our client who we know is guilty but we cant defend him TOO well or andrews is going to the fucking gallows, god andrews... when i accused her AGAIN i prayed that she would beat the fuck out of me and edgeworth after the trial bc this poor innocent woman.. we have been putting her thru hell. and also like god wright's and edgeworth's roles has essentially been swapped around w the way i have to accuse an innocent person and edgeworth has to be the one to protect her like its CRAZY!!!! its mind games on mind games on mind games and everything is topsy turvy and so intense and still manages to be funny with phoenix throwing the phone across the goddamn courtroom but also sad with him breaking down towards the end and the TENSION with waiting for gumshoe to arrive with the evidence and FRANZISKA VON KARMA SAVING THE DAY like this last case was a such masterclass in pacing, every fucking beat just hit so precisely it was SUCH a good experience... WOAHHHH!!!

and ofc ive mentioned this already but seriously this case touched on everything i had wanted this series to touch on its like it read my mind or something hello....

like theres almost nothing i need to add on bc this case practically spelled everything out omg. throughout these past 2 games ive been giving phoenix shit for just randomly accusing witnesses of being perpetrators, and like i get it this is what phoenix has to do, bc he lives in a world where the justice system is so fucked up that people get accused w the filmiest of evidence and phoenix really does need to find the actual perpetrator to free his client, i get it. but in doing so we run the risk of accusing another innocent person of something they didnt do, bc a lot of the time we're accusing these people without decisive evidence. and thats what nearly happened in this case with ms andrews, she was innocent but we almost damned her for something she didnt do, which is greatly ironic considering that a large reason why phoenix became a lawyer was bc he was saved from a false conviction (a class trial, but still).

and the reason phoenix does this (this = somewhat baselessly accusing others of being guilty), is bc of what mia had taught him: to believe in your client. because our client is innocent, another party must be guilty. this is how we've handled every case so far. so during this engarde case, where we learn that our client actually is guilty, and phoenix starts to lose his mind… edgeworth tells wright his most vital lesson yet: that they are not heroes, they are lawyers.

brief mini tangent b4 i circle back to this idea of being a lawyer rather than a hero: while i was wrapping up that miserable experience of a third case, i was wondering to myself what the overarching message of this game would be. the only thing thts really been tying these past three cases together have been edgeworth's disappearance, compared to the first game which hinted at narumitsu's shared backstory + dl-6 which it then had its climax with. so obviously edgeworth will play a big role in this last case… but then what? what is he going to do? what message will he deliver? i didnt have a clue, and then the final case rolled in and the overarching message it delivered was this: being a lawyer isnt about saving people, nor is it about being a hero. this is why mia's belief of 'believing in your client' falls short, bc simply 'saving' someone bc u believe in their innocence isnt enough. otherwise, this would mean that those that we believe are guilty arent deserving of a defense, which is why wright was so conflicted upon learning of his client's crime. but this isnt what being a lawyer is about, instead its as edgeworth had said;

what it means to be a lawyer is to defend/prosecute to the best of your ability, regardless of your whether you believe the defendant is guilty or not. it means to have faith in the opposing party, and that if your claim is a false one, said opposing party will expose the faults in your claim. and as to whether the defendant is truly guilty or not, that can only be decided once both prosecution and defense have unveiled the truth together. this is what it means to have a fair trial, what it means to be a lawyer: it is about having faith in the ability of the opposing party, it's about being able to trust others. this is what edgeworth had learned in the year tht he's been gone, and is now here to teach to phoenix.

in this last case, wright finally learns what it fucking means to be a goddamn lawyer, what it really means to be a defense attorney. wright is able to defend engarde, despite knowing that he is guilty, bc he has faith in edgeworth's prosecuting abilities. it is thru their trust in one another that they were able to prolong the trial long enough for franziska to arrive with decisive evidence. as a lawyer, wright must be capable of defending even those who he believe may be criminals, bc a proper defense, fair trials, and justice, isnt something that can just be cherry-picked and handed out to select individuals. true justice is something that everyone deserves. justice… is.. for all…

JUSTICE FOR ALL!!!!!

this, of course, can only happen in a fair and just world, where neither defense or prosecution is corrupt with say, forged evidence and fabricated testimonies or whatever, and an unbiased judge. this world is clearly not ace attorney's world, nor is it our non-fictional world. but i still find it so remarkable that in this fictional world where the judicial system has been perverted nearly beyond recognition, these characters were still able to deliver this semblance of truth, and illustrate the purpose, function, and importance of a fair trial. i really do love it when stories use exaggerated and absurd environments to convey messages which are deeply relevant to our own world. and i find it especially neat how in the first game, it was the prosecutors who were being scrutinized; von karma's and lana skye's fabrications being brought to light, with edgeworth closely trailing behind the footsteps of these two. but this time around its the defense being scrutinized, with both phoenix's and mia's unwillingness to properly defend engarde coming back to bite them several times.

another neat thing is that i really like this dialogue from mia after the trial ends:

which is her referring to whichever choice we made right before franziska saved the day; either securing the non guilty verdict, or claiming that engarde is guilty. i was very happy to learn that mia says this regardless of which choice you pick, bc neither options are necessarily incorrect. if you say engarde is guilty, it means that being a lawyer means to believe in your own convictions and moral compass. if you secure a not guilty verdict for instead, it means being a lawyer, a defense lawyer, is about defending your client to the best of your ability, regardless of ur own personal beliefs. both of these are admirable traits to have in a lawyer which is why either choice are praised equally…. THIS CASE IS SO GOODFJSDLJFK

some other final comments before i wrap this up: i was so relieved to see andrews smile at the end of everything T_T i think shes a subtle parallel to wright, edgeworth, and franziska, as all four of them have lost their mentors and are struggling bc of it. all 4 of them were dependent on their mentors to various degrees, but by the end of the case, they are able to extract themselves from their mentors' shadows, and are able to forge a new path for themselves. wright learns that theres more to being an attorney than believing in one's client, edgeworth and franziska put von karma's legacy of perfection behind them, and andrews learns to be comfortable with herself 🥲🧡 also gumshoe was such a real one in this case…. i am so sorry for previously cussing you out when u wouldnt give me evidence. through our time together you have become a friend to me <3

#aa lb

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puppyhigh · 4 months ago

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whats the bi lesbian flag even look like* + also it would kind of feel like "losing" . to me. NOT IN THE SENSE THAT BI LESBIANS ARE BAD. OR "LESSER" = SOMETHING LOST. but in the sense that like. Being a monosexual bi lesbian supporter Is different than being a bi lesbian who supports bi lesbians Youknow. And also like. [REDACTED] .

*stupid about aesthetics and this would reassure me in a way. if it looks good

i guess its been sort of assumed abt me beforee. which isnt a Bad Thing again inherently. I still havent gotten up and this isnt even the real post . <3 BUT LIKE. auauhhhh it feels really uncomfortable to have other people say things abt My Identity that ive never said before!! Or for me to say things one way and have them interpreted another,,,,,,,

i think i vaguely recall one instance like. i was talking abt how i discovered that i enjoy being a more masculine woman + more feminine man (but not like. 100% on either of those things, i dont consider myself A Masculine Woman but i liked having some androgynous dyke edge if i had to be perceived as a woman, and i wldve liked having um Cute Feminine World Beam if only i could b perceived as Mostly a man) + someone started talking abt futch identities (I Support These i dont think they fit exactly into the butchfemme like. Dynamic? Strictly? and is more of a presentation word but you get it you get me. OK. pelase im begging) and it was uuhhahahh ahh nooooooooo. Nooooooo. or i used to rlly not like being called a fag and sometimes Tbh i still DONT because its like no please U dont get it . Im a fucking dyke. im a boy thats a dyke

im not like male except for when its cool . I love "ftm" i love "male lesbian" check out this vintage button

[id: a pale lavender button with the words "MALE LESBIANS UNITE" written on it in darker purple lettering, all caps. /end id]

#barking #ok im getting up now.#Asks and input on my gendersexuality fuckshit Very appreciated #especially asks. Im like a prey animal

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npclibrarydump · 1 year ago

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rant abt hirano to kagiura manga (because ive been holding it in and also i just saw it updated so reading as we speak):

theres absolutely reason to believe hirano and his hesitance and troubles recognizing why and how kagi likes him = aromantic or asexual. however, i also really like thinking of it just as, humans experience romance and relationships differently.

kagiura blatantly said, he sees his relationship w hirano as romantic because they do the co-dependent needy things his parents did. as well as the fact hes got siblings (which i do believe affects how you interpret relationships in general) kagiura's idea of romantic affection is relying on each other and being clingy. physical affection, asking each other for help/favors and offering them in return, taking on the burdens the other doesnt want to deal with.

hirano in contrast didnt see that kind of love between his parents, or probably in general (only child syndrome) not to mention... theyre at a japanese all boys school. i feel like being sorta skewed w perception of romance just makes sense. so what hirano understands love as is probably all from movies, books, what classmates have said, the general social idea of romance. aka: kissing, overt romantic gestures, explicit dates, some level of distance at least in that first dating stage. and i think all friend -> crush relationships start out a bit messy while the lines are blurred.

hirano doesnt not reciprocate, nor is he unable to feel that kind of love (aromantic) he just doesnt register that any of what he does with kagi is romantic, hence the shock learning abt the crush, hearing that kagiura has liked him for so long, allat. (narration at the end of a chapter describes him as "underwhelmed")

in his head when he imagines dating, it's "wanting them to flirt with him" or "i would want to kiss them right now" as well as the not-incorrect but also not the only way to do a relationship: "we shouldnt be co-dependent and stuck to each other" which i think is extra valid because hirano is definitely an independent person. hes really capable all on his own, and probably used to handling stuff himself in general (only child) hes probably weirded out realizing that he and kagiura already act like that.

i think what he needs to finally "understand" his feelings isnt like.. a romantic date or movie kiss. he needs to see other relationships and that theyre all different, and some are exactly like him and kagiura, and yes, romantic. tbh a heart-to-heart bro conversation with sasaki or one of the side characters w a partner could open his eyes there. just being shown that romance comes in a billion different forms, and that he shouldnt fight what hes feeling.

were eventually gonna see him like... actively trying to make himself think about kissing and sweet-gooey dates and movie-romance, and its gonna backfire because hes forcing himself into it. and then (im predicting at this point) kagiura is gonna catch on and feel guilty and pull back (which hes done before...) and THEN hirano will miss all the casual affection and realize his feelings.

itll be great, and by the pace chapters are coming out rn, it will take 4 years. and im here for it

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lesshingedhiro · 6 months ago

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real but lowkey i choose to interpret it differently its undeniable that jc had no consent in that but i think the complication of his feelings over this was less about tje consent and more about the why did you choose to keep this from me bc now he feels like he has to be grateful to wwx despite spending like . 13 years hating him and committing on the verge, if not, actual crimes in the name of his hatred. so its natural he doesnt know wtf hes meant to feel snd i think his crashing out over that is valid

that said, the golden core scene was basically inevitable to me if we wanted to ever see jc become a sect leader or even live past the age of like 20. ive written abt this somehwere else but to jiang cheng, a boy so deeply insecure over his position, his abilities, his identity as jiang cheng, heir to ymj, losing his golden core would be the equivalent of literally losing his way of life and by extension his life - he cant do anything. cant seek revenge over the loss of his core, cant become sect leader, cant even protect himself, much less wwx, jyl or anyone else he cared about. he becomes useless, and to someone who almost continuously craves validation and needs to feel like they're talented in some way to deserve their standing, which for jc was being heir and having a golden core, losing both at almost the same time renders him rightfully straight up broken. and when this happens he genuinely loses any will to live and wouldve probably just died within the next week if not given hope. jc was quite frankly refusing any and all aid and methods to sustain himself and i dont think he would've minded shrivelling and dying in that state. if wwx hadnt found some way to "restore" his golden core jc as he is during the present of mdzs just wouldn't exist lmao. the reason why wwx never told jc was as u said bc he would've said no, the reasoning doesnt matter but the point stands. wwx is the kind of very self sacrificial person who as long as he doesn't die he can stand anything for the ppl he cares abt, especially the ppl he owes a debt to. he percieves a debt he owes to jc and to the jiang family for having taken him in and raised him, so with giving the golden core he would've settled the debt he felt he owed with what was essentially his life while making sure jiang cheng would feel like there was a point to living. if there was another way to restore his core im sure wwx would've absolutely taken it, but since there wasn't he could only bet on the one thing he did have. what wwx did may not have been the most righteous thing to do but it was one of the only things he could do within those circumstances.

Jiang Cheng Rant

Jiang Cheng gives me so many feelings, mostly about how ppl tend to blame him sm for certain things. To anyone who says he should be grateful to Wei Wuxian for giving him his golden core, DNI!!! BECAUSE ITS NOT TRUE!!! Let me tell you!! If someone told you they were doing one thing to help you get a limb back, AND THEN THEY WENT AND DID SURGERY ON YOU WHILE YOU WERE ASLEEP W/O YOUR CONSENT, YOU'D BE UPSET TOO!! I'm not saying all of the actions Jiang Cheng took were okay, but any1 who argues w me about the Golden Core Transfer and about Jiang Cheng's feelings about it should fuck off TwT I DONT EVEN POST ON TUMBLR but this rant is a LONG time coming. I reposted a rant about how we 'defend antagonists and villains' when that's NOT TRUE (which, pop off man), AND I JUST WANTED TO TALK ABOUT JIANG CHENG. Yes, I know he did wrong things, THEY ALL DID, but SO DID WEI WUXIAN. He's NOT perfect! None of them are! They all did bad things, and good things! That didn't mean that Wei Wuxian should've been treated the way he did, by his friends, family, and the cultivation world as a whole, BUT that doesn't mean he didn't do bad things. He should have NEVER gotten Wen Qing to operate on Jiang Cheng w/o his consent. Wei Wuxian Did Not give him the full story, and while he got BLANKET CONSENT to help get his Golden Core back, Wei Wuxian FUCKING KNEW that if he actually asked Jiang Cheng if they could do it that he'd say NO. Asking for forgiveness instead permission is ABSOLUTELY NOT okay in some situations! ESPECIALLY! When it comes to SURGERY and other medical operations!!

Anyways, I love Jiang Cheng. I do not support his wrongs but FUCK it's not fair that he didn't get a fucking say in the Golden Core transfer because IT WAS HIS BODY.

#also ur real #ive dipped in and out of mdzs every now and then #every time i come back jc is as controversial as ever #i just think its funny #atp bc what else can u do #i love him dont get me wrong #but imo he Is still very much kind of an asshole #(affectionate)#i could and have gone on and on about him but ill leave it here for now #also apologizing if half of this is incoherent i wrote this at a time where i definitely should've been asleep

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joyce-bi-ers · 3 years ago

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i love how inception implied that Arthur and Eames vaguely know each other because they’ve probably worked together before ( „Mhh, Arthur. You still working with that stick in the mud?“)(„Eames? No, he’s in Mombasa“) but the fandom just went no they’re married actually

#yes this is a arthur eames post in the year of our lord 2022 #that what Arthur said there #Ive been thinking abt it and it could be interpreted in different ways #it could just be that the dreamsharing community is so small that you can get information of where someone is really quick and easily #and Arthur is probably always very well informed and just knows where he is in case he needs him for a job or sth #or #arthur and Eames have had more contact #but then honestly eames statement to Cobb wouldn’t make sense #bc Arthur and Cobb had been on the run together right #anyway #they’re married anyway <3 #they’re not named #dream husbands #for nothing #inception #ig

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gothibara · 2 years ago

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Okay, so related to that one post abt somebody with plant powers not really being able to control ibara, how DO you think she sees the world?? Like to be honest i live your interpretation of her quirk and could read a whole book on it. You said it was kinda translated right? so how would she expreince her senses then??

Haha, thats a really good question! Ive actually been reading a book on plant perception lately (What A Plant Knows, by Daniel Chamovitz) so while i cant say i definitely know everything, its helped put things into perspective. also for the sake of Not Being Buzzkills obviously horikoshi didnt think abt this its just hc im using canon to supplement and draw conclusions dont be silly

also um. im putting this under a cut because it really is a book's worth of meta. i got really excited.

But i think, from how we see Ibara, a large part of it is going to be filtered through religious experiences+delusions. It already seems like how she talks and understands thing is subconsciously put through this filter (i dont think shes calling shishida "apocalypse beast" out of spite or to be inflammatory-- there is religious theory that the beast of gevaudan may have been god-sent, albeit this theory is rare and far from widely accepted. Ibara doesnt seem to follow any specific doctrine, though, and i really think parts of it are just kinda her brain drawing connections in line with her deeply personal beliefs as opposed to dogma. To her it may just be that she believes theyre saying the same thing in essence, while he does not)

But on the topic of sensory experiences specifically, I would also say that Ibara is experiencing exponentially higher levels of sensory input than most people, so i cant blame her for being a space cadet. And while the fainting is an anime-only gag presumably to show her delicate sensibilities or whatever i personally am choosing to interpret it as an incredibly reasonable consequence of her brain hitting the limit. Like cut the cameras im OUT!!! It's documented frequently in the history of religious ecstasy and other spiritual experiences, so adding an assload of input i can imagine only heightens your chance.

And so onto your question about how that manifests-- its hard to say! But i have a few ideas.

Firstly, i think we should address what the plant is perceiving, and how. In a base function, we can say that they respond to stimuli in certain forms (light, sound, smell, balance, touch, etc) which loosely correlates with our own senses. They differ in the organs used, though, but Ibara having a centralized animal brain both simplifies and complicates it.

Plants don't "see" pictures-- they have sensory cells dedicated to seeing both light and different wavelengths of light (which helps control their circadian cycle and even flowing schedule! Even a small disruption of flashing a certain color light during the night can allow farmers to delay or change when certain plants flower), but these arent rods and cones connected to an optical nerve connected to a brain. But at the same time, they... ARE connected to a brain.

I think for Ibara, plant sight is like a murky, back-of the mind addition to her normal range of vision. It's not a picture the same way her Eyes work, but she knows intuitively theres light, shadow, and colors around her, and can focus in on it a little more if she tries. Details and motion that doesn't block light wouldnt be part of it-- the plant can only see what blocks light covering it or reflects light onto it. Ever-periphery flashes of shadowy shapes and colors. (and conversely: i think the prayer pose, with eyes closed and hands clasped makes it easier to focus on the information filtering through)

sound is also different-- while the studies about plant growth and music are bunk, plants do react to sound. the mechanics of it are still heavily under-explored, but we know they do, just so long as its sound that may be relevant to a plant, like running water or insects chewing. I don't think Ibara could do what Hawks does-- where he can focus in on sounds through his wings and hear conversations. The vines aren't a dedicated sensory organ, they just communicate signals back that are of relevance. She may KNOW there's sound somewhere, but it's background noise until it's something that triggers a response. The question is really what would be deemed important enough to do so.

See, the thing with plants is that they don't have emotions, or even a centralized brain, as we've established. Animals can and do. humans especially. Things deemed important by a person can be important for a variety of reasons, beyond just survival. While Ibara uses the vines as an extension of her limbs, it doesn't change the built in systems of stimuli response the plant has, but the plant isn't a brain in the sense that it will decide anything. So the question of What Ibara Hears from the plant is an interesting one. Personally, I don't think she hears the sounds "as is". Ibara doesn't HEAR insects chewing, because the cells are communicating a stimulus and response, so it would be an interpretation of the response. Sort of a plato's cave issue-- I think ibara may say she "hears omens of danger" or "tidings of great joy", but it's not like she's being told a Coherent Thought By The Vines. it's sound of water = good = we are safe and can find safety + an avidly catholic teenager = the angels bring tidings of joy. it's thing she "hears" but doesnt hear because its never actually touching her own aural organs or nerves. She may not be able to pinpoint what the sound itself is, just what it evokes or what her brain fills the gap in as, like talking.

Taste and smell are both something plants do, but defined slightly differently, as we associate these things with specific nerves in the human body that plants Dont Have. to define it the way my book does, we're going to say "taste is the reception of chemical signals through touch" and "smell is the reception of chemical signals dispersed through the air". and plants do taste, and taste one another-- many parasitic plants show preference for certain species, like the dodder vine. other vines, especially those that climb, will avoid climbing their own species because they know that the support is unstable. this is something they figure out by the chemicals they release onto their surface. This is something that would really be tightened up by ibara having an actual real world plant on her head but trust me trying to find anything that matches is a mess. more on that in a bit. but we know, in theory, she can "taste" other plants, and maybe even other type of similar compounds through these vines, which i think would then also manifest in at least a vague idea of a taste in her mouth-- once again, platos cave of sensation, although honestly its probably a bit more in line with what the actual thing would taste like. (tomatoes, for example). this taste may also correlate with a signal that associates emotionally, but ill touch on that in the pain part of this.

Smell is similar- once again, just detected through the air instead of touch. (The smell of cut grass? An airborne danger signal. Ibara probably can't stand being around freshly-cut lawns, it must feel like a giant panic attack. How this would manifest? Not sure! The smell of blood? As a sound instead? It's hard to say what could compare to the scope of fear that kind of flood would cause). I won't go into depth since it's the same as above, but I would also like to add carbon dioxide as a mention. Plants can detect levels of CO2 (and it can decide how they photosynthesize!) in the air, and I think because for Ibara, photosynthesis has to be accelerated (due to the faster growth and usage of energy being more akin to that of an animal instead of a plant) and she and the plant share an exchange of signals and nutrients.

I'm going to diverge briefly into the realm of digestion and nutrition. Firstly because I love it. Secondly because it will circle back to our carbon dioxide talk.

Ibara's vines are, as we see, leafless. This is quite relevant. Leaves, as most people know, are responsible for the majority of photosynthesis. While chlorophyll in any parts of the plant can photosynthesize, leaves are by far the most effective way thanks to the broad surface area and certain specializations. Leafless plants (especially in the case of vines) tend to be parasitic. Plants that evolve photosynthetically-inefficient leaves tend to be carnivorous, which I would like to explore a little.

A plant is defined as carnivorous if, typically, it shows a form majorly inclined towards having prey-trapping mechanisms, and receives a substantial amount of nutrition from doing so. They tend to grow in areas that have high sunlight and water levels, but with incredibly nutritionally deficient soil. Nutrients like nitrogen, phosphorous, and proteins, which are found in meat (bugs included)

Now, Ibara's vines don't have visible roots, so I think it's safe to assume the root system is within her body, and goes deep below the surface. Water, nutrients, and neurological signals all need to be shared; and so I think her entire body is connected to this root system. Ergo, all the nutrition the plant gets that isn't photosynthesized comes from what Ibara digests-- which is also why I don't personally subscribe to the vegan or vegetarian Ibara headcanon-- because nitrogen and phosphorous are INTEGRAL to stem growth, and baby, she's all stem. In fact, I think she probably loves meat-- second only to bread, which provides long-term energy in the form of complex sugars. I personally think Ibara would dislike sweets in the traditional sense of candy and desserts outside of winter-induced cravings from a drop in photosynthesis, but that would be because the sugars her vines produce for her already maintain a decent level of homeostasis, so it would cause her blood sugar to spike and make her feel ill. Conversely, bread breaks down and is stored much more long term, so it would both benefit her and the plant, which is inefficient at photosynthesis compared to a plant of the same size with leaves, and would need a boost given how much energy it uses to grow, detach, and move.

I know this girl can put away a MEALLLL after training. Yaomomo style.

I think you could argue Ibara (and her quirk) qualifies as a carnivorous plant. Her vines lack leaves and instead have developed extensive thorns (which can be a type of modified stem-- its complicated and varies plant to plant), and we never see them branch off of each other, so they may not even be capable of developing stems. She also doesn't appear to have any flowering mechanism (nor does she need one!), although I will say I'm a sucker for the idea of Ibara having psuedo-blossoms that aren't functional flowers, but rather an indicator of health. Either way, the heavy focus on the vines for strength, complex movement, and grasping through pointed extrusions makes me think you could convincingly argue that they are the "trapping mechanism", which is a requirement for carnivorous plants.

So, once again, we've established that there's a complex nutrient exchange both from Ibara to the vines, but from the vines to Ibara. And because of this, I think there's an added level of complexity to her digestive system-- specifically regarding the stomach's direct connection to the brain. Just like her own nutritional needs can trigger certain responses like in any person, but the plant probably has the same access to these hormone signals. Things like craving sugar and being irritable in winter because of the inability to produce her own as much, but also conversely, I think the plant can trigger a digestive response to prepare for the influx of sugar being photosynthesized. A "heads up, we're about to start sending this your way" to help maintain proper levels.

So, back to carbon dioxide finally. When plants detect higher carbon dioxide levels in the air, they may photosynthesize more. This may result, in my opinion, to "phantom smells" and a trigger to the digestive system, resembling how our own mouth waters when we smell food. Whether it's just an ambiguous food smell or one specifically (maybe bread?) to Ibara I'm not sure, but what I'm saying is that if Bakugou's explosions over the course of an hour can produce about the same amount of carbon dioxide as an entire person throughout one day, she probably thinks he smells fucking delicious and for no reason why. It's funny to me.

Ok! On to touch. I think it's obvious that Ibara's vines react to touch and that's transmitted to her, given how she knows that she's found someone and is pulling them out in JTA. Plants definitely can feel touch, and respond, but I'd like to note that plants can't feel pain. They don't have the ability to feel pain. They can react to adverse touch, certainly-- for example, grass releasing their smell when cut, but they don't feel pain. It's solely for survival, and feeling pain isn't really important for a relatively stationary being. Nor do they really have the factor of emotional association with pain that typically is bundled together. But in the case of Ibara; who, once again, has the burden of the complex mammalian brain... maybe she does feel pain, even if it's not "real"! It likely has to do with whether she has the expectation of and emotional association of fear/pain/etc, so simply cutting away the vines aren't likely to make her hurt. But I don't think phantom pain is out of the question, especially for someone already as high-strung as Ibara and who has so many wires crossing at so many times because of the nuance of the signals transmitted from cell to cell.

And related to touch... a fascinating and storied study in plants includes gravitropism and proprioception, or-- balance and how they know what's up and what's down! People have incredibly complex proprioception systems (most people know about the inner ear, but it goes far deeper than that!), and plants, too, make use of this ability. In fact, it's integral for plant growth.

Plants have two main mechanisms for gravity sensing. The root caps, and then in the stems, the endodermis (which is also responsible for osmosis in cells, sorta) both have genes that develop statoliths, similar to the otoliths we have in the inner ear. These statoliths tell the plant which way gravity is pulling. The root caps make roots grow down, the endodermis makes the shoots grow up.

I think for Ibara, her vines have become an extension of her own balance and ability to know where she is in space. Losing all of them suddenly would result in something similar to a damaged ACL-- having to readjust and being wobbly for a while. Not only that, but I think quirks that impact someone's sense of balance would seriously waste Ibara. While Ibara does move her vines in more ways than up and down, the ability to tell what's what still relies on the individual cells in the stems and roots. While Ibara would still be able to produce the growth hormone and self-amputating mechanisms that detach her vines (i have to look more into this, honestly-- autotomy has only been recorded in one type of plant, and even with abscission ibara's vines dont follow typical patterns. smh my head.), there would be little if any control over the movement, especially if the balance reduction hits the endodermis in more ways than one, because that would impair the hydrolic movement that causes movement in plants.... Either way, Ibara's quirk would be rendered functionally useless. Deidoro Sakaki has this one. And in my opinion, with Uraraka's quirk, they would grow, but wouldn't show proper gravitropic bending, and so may also be impaired in their ability to perform actions.

And I think a complete removal of Ibara's vines would honestly feel like... overwhelmingly suffocating? Imagine having so much of the senses you're used to having cut off, it's probably incredibly jarring and upsetting. I don't think she would prefer it to the every day life she lives, because it seems like she's generally not that impeded by her own world view and strict standards, even if others oppose it (OCD queen lets go #1).

So...as a TLDR; I think Ibara experiences normal human sensory input, she just has another layer that bleeds into it. While I often refer to the plant separately in the above, that's solely for clarity of biological mechanic explanations-- they're one and the same, the same way we started reproducing mitochondria despite their likely beginning as a different organism. She may see things that aren't there (like in the case of warning signals from other plants, or in her mental translation of all sorts of things), "hear" things in her mind, smell or taste or even feel pain... while the mechanics aren't the "real" ones we associate with the senses in question, she's still reacting to stimuli she is receiving, and I think she's learned to adapt to it. It's hard to explain, because it almost has a sort of eldritch feel... but really, Ibara is Ibara, she's a bit stubborn and translates everything into her world view, and so that determinative personality probably helps streamline the constant influx of information. Angels, music, emotions, memories-- those are things she assigns to the experiences, but they are no less validated by the biological machinations behind them. Human survival also relies on our ability to feel and the more complex machinations of the brain, the social advantages of more refined expressions and speech, and Ibara's just as human as her classmates, and her quirk ultimately is another part of that, even if we know the individual cells of the plant are without that same neurological function.

#ibara shiozaki #shiozaki ibara #bnha #bnha meta #quirk analysis #yes im adding a lot of tags im proud of this.

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