#Ivan Eli Harknoght

[ravenwriter16]

Greetings lords, ladies, non-binary nobles and all you other very lovely nobles!

Finally! Chapter Twenty-Four for 'Stars Don't Shine...They Burn'!

I had a lot of fun writing this chapter and I hope you all enjoy!

Chapter Twenty-Four "Stars Don't Shine...They Burn"--AO3

[ravenwriter16]

i want to ask the three yandere fathers ! what would their favourite disney movie be ? and what would their opinion be on the princess and the frog ? (definitely not asking because its my favourite disney movie hahaha whaaaat how could you think that)

PRINCESS AND THE FROG!!!

Let’s goooooo!! I love that movie!!! It’s so good!!!

[Emperor Dads give me strange looks]

*Ahem* anywho~

Moon: I would say that my favorite Disney movie would have to be Encanto—,

Sun: *waves hands up and down* PETER PAN!!

Moon: really? Couldn’t you have waited—,

Sun: *giggling* I could not!

Eclipse: *holds his chin in thought.* I would have to say…Hunchback of Notre Dame. The villain is horrible beyond all get out and almost makes it hard to watch… but something about that story just…drags me in by the throat.

…

Ivan: *grouching as all get out as he says* I like Mary Poppins and Pete’s Dragon…That’s it!

[ravenwriter16]

Greetings lords, ladies, non-binary nobles and all you other very lovely nobles! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today, I shall be conducting an interview with a highly requested individual. It took some persuasion--,

Ivan: You kidnapped me--,

But he's here now! So no need to know who kidnapped who--,

Ivan: You did--,

Let's start this interview off with some introductions! Come on Ivan! Tell our lovely viewers your name.

Ivan: You are SO lucky I'm chained up right now...

If you do this for me, I'll pay you a hundred gold pieces--.

Ivan: My name is Ivan Eli Harknoght.

...Really? That's all it took? Gold?

Ivan: Do you know how expensive it is for good farm equipment? Meat? Utility Runes? Clothing? Imported Books--,

Okay! Okay, geez you made your point...

Ivan: What's the next damn question? I though you had a list?

I do! Just hold on...Alrighty. What are you?

Ivan: I'm an ogre. A pixie ogre to be exact--,

Pff! 'Pixie'? But you're so tall and HUGE! And you don't have...pfft, the glittering wings~.

Ivan: *Glares* My Ma was a pixie, my Pa was an ogre. Ogres are more dominate in the shuffling of traits.

So what pixie traits did you get from your mother?

Ivan: My eyes. Normally an ogre's eyes are purely black. My Ma gave them color instead. I'm also small than an average ogre my age.

And...how old are you?

Ivan: 94, why?

*Chokes on spit* Wow...uhm no reason! N-next question! Do you have any mana?

Ivan: Yeah. A bit of nature weaving. Another upside of being half pixie.

I also hear that you are a legendary weaponsmith. Is that true?

Ivan: *Shrugs* I make swords...and maces, hammers, throwing stars, lances--,

You don't have to list off everything you know--,

Ivan: You told me to answer your questions, I'm answering the fucking questions.

Heh, Ivan, you run a shop in the village called...well 'Shop'. What do you sell?

Ivan: Food. Books. And all kinds of shit.

Could you please not curse--,

Ivan: *Deadpans* You need to get your ears checked lass because I've been swearin' since the beginning of this fucking thing.

...Nevermind then...grumpy old man...

Ivan: *Brow twitches* What'd you say?

Nothing! Nothing! Next question! Did you have any past jobs?

Ivan: ...pass.

WHAT?! You can't pass!

Ivan: Why not?

Be...because people want to know!

Ivan: ...100 more gold pieces then I'll think about it.

50 more gold pieces and I don't keep you chained up in here for the next two weeks.

Ivan: ...

Well~?

Ivan: A knight...I was a Royal Knight for the old King. I got out before the Celestial Rising.

What made you leave?

Ivan: If you were there and saw the things I saw, you would've left too.

Hmm. Do you have any partners? Romantic ones I mean.

Ivan: *Scrunches up his nose* No.

Heh, okay! Last Question!

Ivan: About fucking--,

Watch it.

Ivan: *Rolls eyes*

So! Last question is a simple one. What are your feelings regarding a certain Exiled/Runaway Princess?

Ivan: Chipmunk? Why would people want to know about that?

Uhm, curiosity?

Ivan: *Grumbles* Well there's nothing I feel towards her! She's a lousy rentee, annoying beyond all get out, constantly nags me about MY affairs. I hate the way she messes with my garden by planting all those blasted vegetables and strawberry bushes. Then she has the nerve to work late and keep me up. Only coming back inside at midnight and walking around like a brain-dead dwarf! I always have to carry her back to her room!

That sounds--,

Ivan: On top of all of that! I have to tend to all her cuts and scrapes. I can never understand why she won't just give it a rest and take care of herself! She may be an adult, but she's still acts like such a brat!

Ivan? You--,

Ivan: I may not be human with a fucking pitiful lifespan but that doesn't mean I'll be around forever!

Ivan...

Ivan: She's gotta learn self-preservation! Otherwise she won't last a day. I already taught her some survival skills but--,

IVAN!

Ivan: What?!

Do you care for her?

Ivan: *looks away and huffs, a light green dusting his cheeks* Oh please! She's nothing more than a punk!

Then...why do you call her Chipmunk? Kind of sounds like an affectionate nickname to me~.

Ivan: That's ridiculous! I call her that because she's a rodent! Yes! A damn rodent who is fucking eating me out of house and home! And her cheeks puff out all cute like when she stuffs her fucking face like an animal!

I don't know Ivan. It sounds like you care about her.

Ivan: HA!

You do realize that people call you 'Uncle' Ivan? Including your little 'Chipmunk'?

Ivan: *Blinks* W...What are you going on about?

Her Highness thinks of you as her uncle.

Ivan: ...

...uhm.

Ivan: ...

Ivan? You good there?

*Ivan exp. has stopped working*

Ooooookay...Guess that's it for today.

Thank you everybody for tunning in! This was all made possible by your votes! If you want me to talk to another character, please feel free to let me know!

And! Thank you Ivan for joining us today!

*Reloading Ivan exp: 10% completed*

Eeeehhhh, I'm sure he'll be FINE! I hope all of you have a wonderful rest of your timezone!

Signing off for now!