#It's their *own* body!

[y-rhywbeth2]

...I just found a guide on how a Bhaalspawn can become God of Murder in an old Dragon article! Disclaimer: You might need to kill Bhaal again first for this to work.

"First, [the Bhaalspawn] must bring about the death of a thousand innocents. It can do this through a variety of methods: unleashing a magical plague, using magic to destroy a city with an earthquake, awakening and then controlling an ancient dragon... the possibilities are endless. "Next, it must recover a piece of its father's mortal flesh; either from the body that lies within the Winding Water where Bhaal was killed during the Time of Troubles or else the body left in the Moonshae isles, where Bhaal's avatar was killed by King Tristran of the ffolk. "Finally, he must sit upon the Throne of the Gods and be judged by the overgod Ao. The Throne could be located in any number of inhospitable places: the Starpeaks in the High Forest, in the deepest regions of the Underdark, or somewhere on the Outer Planes." - Dragon #288

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Other fun stuff in there included the idea that Bhaal was very likely to direct his kids to fuck up Cyric's plans.

There was also a guide to the weird powers they will develop:

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Warning, having Bhaal as a father may cause you to exhibit two or more of the following side effects:

Addiction to homicide (Refusal to commit homicide will lead to your mind being eaten away until you turn into a ravening, feral animal.)

Your soul going to hell (well, Gehenna) when you're unconscious

Viscous black blood that attracts devils and demons like flies to honey

Poisonous blood! You can coat your weapons with it!

Turning into a divine murder monster

Getting so carried away with bloodlust you try to fight everything. Literally everything in reach, all at once.

Overwhelming homicidal rage when slightly inconvenienced

A steadily weakening sense of free will

Everybody around you immediately dislikes you because you give off Vibes.

A personality so bad it has charisma penalties

Nightmares so traumatic they actually impair your ability to function while awake

Detect evil spells will say you're evil and holy weapons and water will harm you. Even if you're not evil

Being fireproof, for some reason

Super strength

And more!

[silvaurum]

if the idea of 'fat people are hot' makes you so agonizingly uncomfortable that you have to pop up with 'fetishization' or 'glorifying' or 'not everyone--' please consider that your discomfort with my fat body being hot is a You Problem and i am not interested

[chloesimaginationthings]

The ending of FNAF Help wanted..

[s0upjuice]

how do you fly this thing?!

characters from @kianamaiart's i dont want to be a magical girl!

[canisalbus]

[vm-haunts]

King of Curses

So Danny finally got on JLD's radar, but not because of summoning, or ghost attacks, or anything like that.

No, he got noticed by pure accident, walking on the streets.

Why? Well it might have something to do with the baker's dozen of Ancients level curses wafting off of him.

Seriously this guy should not be remotely alive and kicking, what the fuck? Nocturne's mark alone would have sent him into unwaking slumber why is he up and around buying groceries???

...

In other words, Danny traded a bunch of claims with his ghostly friends and foes, intentionally or otherwise. Some of those are good natured, some not quite. But at the worse those just cause minor inconveniences. To him, that is.

Our beloved ghost boy might have failed to realize the ghosts are actually eldritch gods to the rest of the world... And he is half of one too.

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

Trans rights you fuckers. Y’all know who you are.

Just clogging your tags before you can clog the toilets with all your shit. No need to thank me, terfs <3

[brainrotcharacters]

wade's undiagnosed ADHD (giggling everytime Logan stabs him) is only ever matched by Logan's undiagnosed autism (stabbing Wade with his claws when he's overstimulated)

[bakedbeanchan]

Zukka comic for a friend

[go-star-sailor]

homoerotic wellness checkup

[cheezy-whizz]

Gay people will develop mental issues and make AT LEAST one of these movies their whole personality

[quadrantadvisor]

Thinking about DP x DC Jason Todd being a revenant again. Here's my scenario. Jason gets called that by some ghost. He's like "what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" He's heard the term before but he doesn't know any actual lore. He googles it. He scrolls past the Leonardo DiCaprio bear movie. He opens the wiki. Sees the words "animated corpse" and gets a chill diwn his spine. He starts reading the first section.

He closes Wikipedia.

That night he has a nightmare that his family buried him, again, this time with precautions. He wakes up in his own grave, full of stones, too heavy to move, to scream.

[paintedcrows]

Totally Normal Trigonometry Things

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

None of our hands are clean

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[canisalbus]

✦ Milk and Honey ✦

[umblrspectrum]

tessa, being the edgy little freak she is, obviously took the original darkxwolf username