#It's not like I'm dying right now but you know. probably won't live to be old if things keep going this way

[missmamibee]

got sick again. 4th time in two months that I've had a respiratory infection. I also partially dislocated my knee yesterday. went to the doctor and got some steroids but I don't think it's going to help me much

[shadow4-1]

I'm just imagining the 141 looking for a medic because all of the ones they sign on keep dying or getting poached by other task forces. And you're a baby medic who is shadowing your higher rank and well esteemed teacher (who is actually the one on the 141's radar). But something goes horribly wrong...

You've done everything you possibly can but he's still drowning in his own blood.

He's tried walking you through everything through wheezing, wet breaths. He has a knowing look in his eye, this isn't working and it won't work. You're in the EVAC helicopter, but the time it'll take to get you back to base is too long.

"I-I'm sorry." You whimper, tears forming on your lashes. "I'm not a very good student."

Your mentor smiles sadly, his eyes glassy. He was always sweet to you when he was no nonsense with everyone else.

"You're doing great, kid." He huffs, blood leaking out the corner of his mouth. He winces and sputters up more but you're there. You try to fill up his vision and give him something to focus on. "People crash. Don't give up on 'em till it's over."

You cradle his head, memorize every wrinkle, scar, and patch on his kit. And then, it hits you.

He's right, its not over yet.

You rip through your medical supplies with shaking hands. It feels like it takes forever but it's merely seconds before you're sticking a needle from your vein into his. You watch the bag as it quickly fills with your blood before entering into him.

Your mentor chuckles and shakes his head weakly. This is nowhere near anything he taught you. But he knows it might just save his life since you're both the same blood type.

You go through multiple more needles releasing pressure on his lungs until he's even more stable than before. He finally has a shot and that's all that matters.

You're so close. Fifteen minutes out when he starts to crash again. You've exhausted everything. Your medical supplies are dwindling. You have no more blood to give. Your teacher just continues to smile at you. And he keeps smiling at you and he keeps smiling at you. You rub at his face, his eyes are far away. You feel for his pulse.

You scream.

It's not one of fear, but a deep, mournful cry. You turned your comms off forever ago but you know everyone could hear you, even through the wind. It carries your scream off and away as the heli's motors clip around you. You feel empty. He was supposed to teach you more. He was supposed to live.

You scream again and throw yourself over him. You sob and scream and grab at him, trying desperately to look for vitals. You know you won't find one but you're delirious. He's supposed to live! You did everything right!

Tears blur your vision but you notice someone out of the corner of your eye. It's one of the members of a different task force assigned to help your squad with this now terribly failed mission. He's their Captain, you think. He tries to reach down but you hiss at him. You don't care about rank. You don't care about the social ramifications. You scream to be heard over the wind.

"DON'T TOUCH HIM!"

The man's eyes soften. You don't imagine what you look like. You probably look wild, feral, gnashing your teeth and growling. You don't care. He's YOUR teacher, he's YOUR responsibility. Quite frankly, you don't trust any of the other strangers watching you. You hiss at them too. Then you cry again.

You bury your face into your now dead mentor's chest and sob.

- - - - -

The look in your eye is like nothing he's ever seen before in a medic.

Price had watched you exhaust every possible avenue to save your superior's life. When all else failed you gave him your own blood. And when he finally succumbed to his injuries you threw yourself over him, not allowing anyone or anything to get close.

Even when they arrived on base, when your other superiors tired to swoop in, you stood your ground.

"I don't care! Even in death he's MY patient!" You yelled at your own Captain.

And surpisingly, they let you take care of him to the end. They even let you escort his body to the morgue. It's where Price finds you hours later.

You sit in a rusty old folding chair just outside the morgue doors. Your eyes are glazed over, far away, and still brimming with tears. He kneels in front of you to get on your level. He doesn't say anything, just waits for you to finally see him. You blink slowly and look up at him.

"I-I'm sorry..." You apologize. "I d-didn't mean t-"

"It's alright, Love." He hums and offers you a tight smile. "I understand."

He pats your knee in a fatherly way before standing up. His knees pop and he winces. You immediately stand up, your eyes searching him up and down.

"S' alright, I promise. Just a lil' stiff s' all." He soothes. "I need you to come with me."

He notices how your pretty lil' eyes widen. He shakes his head and offers a hand to help you out of the chair.

"You're not n' any trouble, sweetheart. I just want to talk with you."

He looks down at you with a knowing, sweet smile.

Your commitment is exactly what he's looking for.

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY JASON TODD/ROBIN/RED HOOD *  assorted dialogue from multiple dc universe sources, adjust as necessary

i did it once for dramatic effect and it just got to be a habit.

you can't tell, but i'm dozing off under this mask.

a whole night in paris... and i managed to not kill anyone. not bad.

you made the same mistake everyone does when it comes to me.

i want to warn them... but i know i can't.

don't know, don't care. i got my hands full.

do you remember the last time we were together?

looks like you guys could use a hand!

i'm looking for someone.

i'm afraid it's about to get much worse.

the angry, reckless vigilante bit is my thing.

i'm not good or bad. i'm just practical as hell.

you and i are more alike than you realize.

i get it. starting over is scary as hell.

i don't even need to turn around to know that's you.

thanks for thinking of me. i'm happy to help. honored, even.

i generally have several madness-inducing hallucinations before breakfast.

nothing in the real world can be as frightening as what we can imagine... right?

you don't think i understand what it's like to be abandoned? forgotten?

i'll be damed if my best friend is going to die... because he was dumb enough to trust me.

i'm sorry. i'm never going to be the hero you want me to be.

next time i see you, i'm going to kick your butt for this dying crap.

you have ten seconds to walk way. nine... oh, screw it.

there are better ways to spend your energy.

that looks like it's gotta hurt. well, i say that like i'm speculating or something. i know it hurts.

we chose to be a family.

if there's hope for us... there's hope for everyone.

you still haven't figured it out?

life's just a game... and this time, you lose.

i seem to have made myself an enemy of all the bad guys.

it's too late. you had your chance.

i'm just getting started.

hard to forget that night, huh?

in a way, this was the site of your first great failure.

ah... memories.

you can't stop crime. that's what you never understood.

you want to rule them by fear, but what do you do to those who aren't afraid?

i'm doing what you won't.

i'm taking them out.

now tell me... how does it feel?

is that what you think this is about?

i don't know what clouds your judgement worse. your guilt or your antiquated sense of morality.

i forgive you for not saving me.

he took me away from you.

i am no one's son.

what do you think this was all about?

welcome to planet earth, baby.

fear isn't the answer.

you son of a bitch.

we were friends, helping each other pick up the pieces of our lives.

it might not be a popular thought, but not everyone wants to be alive.

can you hear it?

funny, i actually escaped death.

the past keeps dragging me back.

they're not monsters. they're victims of programming, abuse, and trauma.

they can change.

fact is, they're just like us.

we became something else.

you hurt a lot of people.

we don't discriminate here.

sometimes you don't know what you want 'til you learn what you don't.

trust? you? i'll give it a try. but i'll tell you right now, i'm probably going to screw it up.

guys like us? the life we lead? we're never truly alone.

i have no idea who you people are.

you pompous ass.

before i kill you, i want the truth.

i'd like to think i'm an open-minded guy.

sure it was fun. but does that mean it was right?

sometimes i wonder if i'm just part of the problem.

i'm not doing one more damn mission with them unless you get me someone i can trust to watch my back.

knew you couldn't do it.

it's official. class is in session.

[filmbyjy]

ONE NOTE

SYNOPSIS > When you turned 18, you heard your best friend’s favourite song. Turns out, it was just one of the various signs to finding your soulmate. However, you couldn’t bring this up to jake. Not when he was in a happy relationship with your other best friend! Would you choose heartbreak or sacrifice your happiness for the sake of keeping the friendship?

EIGHTEEN – the first petal

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

WC: 0.9K words

a/n: please note there is a written part after these 6 pictures!! don't forget to read it because it is part of something important.

“breathe.” yvette says as she pats your back. it was suffocating. the sink was bloodied up, splatters of blood that you had coughed up in a span of 5 minutes. mae runs in with a bottle in her hands.

“here, drink up.” she quickly opens the bottle up and hands it over to you. you took the bottle and quickly drank it.

“why didn’t you tell us it was this bad. we obviously knew that jake was your soulmate but we didn’t think that your body would react this way.” yvette looks at you.

“you’d honestly think that this disease would be a mythical thing but it is very much true.” mae says. you felt the tears fall down your face. yvette wipes them for you. she looks at you with such pity and such care.

“man, fuck that bitch.” she declares. “making such a sexy girl cry? not very girl’s girl coded of her.”

“she doesn’t know. i don’t think jake would tell her. besides, he doesn’t even know i’m his soulmate.”

“well, i think she would find out either ways. she’s such a weirdo.” mae huffs. yvette nods.

“what are you going to do?” yvette asks.

“live with it.”

“but you’re going to cough out blood if you keep seeing them so loving and disgusting.”

“it’s okay. once it gets worse, i’ll just get the surgery.”

“to remove your feelings? (name), you can’t seriously be thinking of doing this.” mae sighs. “i’ve seen people decide to go through with the surgery, they aren’t like themselves. once you do it, there will also be complications in the end. you won’t live for long.”

“there is no other way. if end up dead then so be it. i can’t let jake know. he’s very much in love with aria. he would never love me.” you sobbed. yvette pulls you closer and keeps you in her arms.

“hey hey, let’s not talk about death. you’re alive and well right now. let’s live your life to the fullest and make the best out of it. you aren’t dying.” she mutters. mae grabs your hand and lightly squeezes it.

“yeah, who cares about jake and aria. you have sunghoon, your friends, your brother and us. we are there for you.”

you were thankful for the people who were close to you. you had wiped your tears and nodded. “you’re right.”

there were a series of knocks at the bathroom door. yvette rolls her eyes and opens the door. “we’re having a sentimental moment here.”

“sorry, girls. just checking in to see if (name) is okay.” jay says.

“that or are you already missing mae?” yvette folds her arms. jay awkwardly laughs a little.

“maybe but i’m more concerned for my best friend of course.” you laughed a little and sniffled. you pushed mae forward towards jay.

“take her oh my god. you find out she’s your soulmate and you can’t stop being away from her.”

jay shrugs. sunghoon steps forward and hugs you.

"I'm not dying, hoon."

"just let me hug you. you need it." he says. your smile falters a little. "you can cry, you know?"

"i already cried just now."

"and? you can cry again and I wouldn't judge."

"I know you won't, hoon."

your brother comes up to you. "okay, break it up. can I hug my sister?"

sunghoon lets you go, and leehan easily replaces him. "when did you get so big?"

"I've always been big." he says. you laughed.

"okay, but you're my baby brother."

"yes, i am." you ruffled his hair and he pulls back from the hug.

"let's go back. those two are probably wondering where we are." taesan says.

"the last i saw them they were making out-" *whack* ni-ki winces when sun whacks him.

"don't even mention that." sunoo warns.

"right, sorry noona." ni-ki pouts. you sighed a little.

"it's fine, ni-ki."

you could see jake and aria coming closer to the group. jake was mainly concerned about everyone but aria...she's just kinda following jake.

"hey, why is everyone gathering around here?" jake asks.

"oh, there was a slight mishap so (name) called the girls over. we were worried so we waited outside for them." heeseung explains.

"you could've told us."

"yeah, but you were busy making out with aria so we didn't want to bother the both of you." sunghoon says. there was a petty tone underlying as he tells jake.

"what the fuck is your problem?" jake comes up to sunghoon. sunghoon scoffs.

"nothing."

"nothing? you said that the other time and then you went on a tangent hating on my girlfriend." jake folds his arms.

sunghoon rolls his eyes. "well, I'm right either ways. you were sooooo oblivious and busy with aria that even when (name) got hurt or had an issue you didn't care."

"she's fine now, isn't she? you guys took good care of her. she's in good hands, so i trust you guys to care for her. after all, I'm just her best friend and I am busy with my girlfriend. You don't understand me because you don't have a girlfriend!" jake yells at sunghoon.

you start to cough up again. this time when you look down at your hand, not only was there blood but there was a petal. the first petal to have ever appeared. you had looked up to see everyone staring at you. jake's jaw dropped when he saw the blood in your palms.

you didn't know what else to do other than run away. sunghoon glared at jake once more before he runs after you.

this was moving too fast...

were you dying?

taglist[open]: @sumzysworld @mitmit01 @moon3verland @baribaaari @byty2k @alex-is-sleeping @viagumi @txtlyn @belovedsthings @woninluv @dreamiestay @niniissus @kyutiepeachy @yoongisbaguetteshoes @squiishymeow @jjaammm @enhaz1 @illvding @woniejjang @bee-the-loser @laurradoesloveu @ckline35 @ningx2stan @hoonlvly @clampclover @xyzyx01 @victoriasimm @eneiyri @nshmrarki @woorcve @bubblytaetae @i03jae @soobieboobiedoobiedaboobie @l1wv00n @onlyhyunjin @kyanmeai @isa942572 @lisaswifey @alisonyus @firstclassjaylee @szkstay @enhamysunshines @milanco @hsbae @zyvlxqht @lixiebokie @wth121 @enahasblog @gongiz @anuisamazing @heestrawberries @gyehyeonist @nshmurarki @heelovesmeknot @silquids

(bolded can’t be tagged)

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 43

part 1 | part 42 | ao3

cw: references to sex, post-coital sad boy feelings but it’s comforting i hope, once again swirling the religious drain

“You look like you just saw God,” Eddie says fondly as he pulls his fingers out.

“Pretty sure I am God,” Steve mumbles, winded and floating, watching the stars in his vision skitter across the ceiling in pretty popping swirls of white. His ass still feels full, phantom ache of Eddie's fingers. They live there now. “Or maybe you are, I don’t know.”

Eddie leans down to plant a firm kiss on his lips, sure and steady, overflowing with affection.

Steve’s heart is gonna pump so hard it bursts.

“Well,” Eddie murmurs into the kiss. “Amen to that.”

Later, after Eddie adds his own mess to Steve's skin, after he kisses him all over and cleans him up and lays them down on their sides, face to face like they were that first night — in the morning; if you still mean it, ask me then — Steve dares to break the silence. Murmurs "hey" so quietly he's not sure Eddie will hear.

"Hmm?" Eddie props his head up on his hand, giving Steve the full attention of those big, dark eyes.

"I, uh, I just wanted to say thanks."

Eddie's brows waggle suggestively.

“Oh, my god.” Steve gives him a weak shove, tapping lightly at his shoulder, and Eddie flops onto his back like he's been struck; groans like he’s dying and then rolls back up with a gentle laugh. “Well,” Steve rolls his eyes like he isn't smiling, too, "for that, too, I guess."

"He guesses.”

"Shut up. I'm trying to be sincere."

Eddie twists an invisible lock; seals his smiling lips shut and throws away the key.

"I just..."

He can do this.

He can. If Eddie hasn't judged him yet, then...

"I like that you. Y'know. You ask me. About stuff." Eddie hums in question, so Steve clarifies: "You pry." Shit. That was rude. "Not that it's prying if I want you to! That's not— that's not even really the word I'm thinking of. Or maybe it is, but, like, not the right conno- commo—"

Jesus.

Why can't his mouth ever just cooperate?

Eddie strokes a soothing hand down his side, letting it settle in the dip of his waist. Silent, steady encouragement. Patient and warm; always so gentle with him.

When Steve speaks again he stares directly at Eddie's chin, lets the words spill out on a muted mumble, like if he says them low and soft and fast enough then maybe god won't hear. "I just mean that you- you actually listen. I know I'm not the most, like, open about talking about my feelings and shit, but most people in my life are— well, I mean, most of them are kids, so that's probably part of it, but…”

He takes a deep breath; feels it rattle behind his ribs. “It’s like I say 'I'm fine' and they hear 'Steve's fine.' Like, 'Oh, Steve? Yeah, he's fine; he's totally fine. He got hit in the head again, but he's fucking fine.'"

There’s salt in his throat.

He swallows around the angry lump swelling there — a wasp nest in his soft tissues and he's swinging blindly with a bat — but he can’t stop now, the confession already pouring from between his trembling lips. "It just makes me wonder, like, am I that good of an actor? Or do they all just hear what the want to hear? You know? Like- like maybe I'm not worth the effort; maybe no one wants to lift the lid to clean the mold growing under it, or..."

He sniffs pitifully, can hardly see for the fresh tears. "I don't know. I don’t know."

“Baby.” Eddie's eyes are heartbreaking; Steve looks away again.

"I just like that you see me,” he confesses to Eddie’s shirt. “You listen. You care."

Eddie’s arms tighten around him; draw him in against his chest. “For as long as you want me to, baby, I swear.”

—

It’s easier, after that. Feels lighter; feels right when he spends his free time at Eddie’s side, laughing and smoking and fucking around; playing passenger princess as he goes to make his deals. Take on Me’s playing on the radio, and Steve looks over and sees him subtly bobbing his head to the beat.

“A-ha!” he says, pointing a Cheeto at him in triumph. “It’s catchy; admit it.”

Eddie rolls his eyes like he isn’t actively drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “Only because it’s designed to be, you little preppy pop prince fucker.”

“Hey!” Steve throws the Cheeto at his hair and laughs, “Fuck you!”

“Careful there, tiger,” Eddie answers with an easy grin, leaning over to squeeze Steve’s leg suggestively. Bearing down on the scratch marks he left there last night. “Might get what you ask for.”

“Oh, yeah?” Steve quips. “Gonna fuck yourself for me?”

It’s bratty. Steve knows it; resists the urge to stick out his tongue.

A muscle ticks in Eddie’s jaw. “Gonna fuckin’ fuck something,” he mutters darkly to the windshield, and Steve laughs and sings along to the next verse.

—

part 44

tag list in separate reblogs under '#trailer park steve au taglist' if you'd like to filter that content. if you want to be added please comment and let me know (must be over 21; please either verify in the comment or have your age visible on your blog)

[dancingunderagatheringstorm]

I watched The Fall of the House of Usher in one go while recovering from my COVID booster, so I was a little confused by why Madeline chose this phrase rather than something more resonant to her conversations with/about her murder victim. But now that I'm no longer semi-delirious with fever, I fucking love what this choice reveals about her. It shows that, despite the fact that Madeline's mask absolutely didn't crack at the time, Annabel's final line absolutely got under her skin. Annabel struck on a deep, unspoken fear: that Madeline is and will stay small, that she isn't special, and she won't change the world. And the reason that's so important is because, despite everything, Madeline is small. Not in ambition, but in focus and in spirit.

Madeline says her goal is to change the world, but that's not quite right. She also wants not to have to submit to men and wants not to be ignored, but that's more what she doesn't want than what she wants. Her real, deepest desire always comes last in those conversations: she wants to live forever. She never even frames it in the pseudo-altruistic language her brother uses. It's not about helping humanity to reach a new stage of consciousness; it's not about helping people not having to lose the ones they love. It's about her. Her, specifically, not dying. Such a small, selfish passion. Her narrow focus drives her selfish pettiness throughout (that final monologue!).

She'd probably deny that this insult stuck with her if anyone asked, and God knows she's a skilled enough liar that it'd seem genuine. But here, to a man that she knows can never tell anyone, she tries to pass on the most devastating judgement anyone has passed on her: you are so small. She tried to bury the truth of that statement in the basement of Fortunato Pharmaceuticals, to deliver it on to someone else. I like to think, though, that Annabel's proclamation continued to echo in Madeline's shriveled heart until the day The House of Usher collapsed upon her.

[maraudersbitchesassemble]

I HAVE AN OM SHANTI OM THEORY

This may sound crazy but I need you guys to stay with me

So you know how in the movie, Om Kapoor starts to remember events from his previous life only AFTER he goes to the burnt studio?

And at the end of the movie, we realise that Shantipriya's ghost has been in the studios for the past however many years.

So what if, it was Shanti's ghost who made Om Kapoor see all those things from his past life? Like, she must've had some kind of powers as a ghost right? So what if it was because of her that Om Kapoor remembered his past life?

This also makes me think that she probably realised that she HAD in fact, fallen for Om Makhija, and that as she took her last breaths, after Mukesh came back and buried her under the jhoomar, she was thinking of her moments with Om Makhija, thinking of how he was the one that made her feel loved.

And also now I know I'm going down a spiral

But Imagine Shanti dies as she is thinking about Om, and then when she turns into a ghost, she spends all those years roaming around the studio, reminiscing in what little time she had spent with Om and hoping that Om lived his life and became a big superstar and that he might just come back to the studios but being disappointed when he doesn't. But then he does, and Shanti sees him, and realises that even though it's been so many years, Om still looks the same, and the realisation that Om died trying to save her hits her. And she wishes to meet him, but she can't, because she's a ghost, and he doesn't even remember everything. So she decides to make him remember everything. And then, then when Om remembers everything, and steps up to take revenge, she decides to become his shield of protection against Mukesh. And so everytime Mukesh is just about to catch onto Om's plans, Shanti does something that keeps Mukesh at bay, until, she realises that Om's plans probably won't work, as she knows how much of a bastard Mukesh is, and so, When Sandy is running from Mukesh, and she wounds herself, Shanti does not distract Mukesh, and then, then she kills Mukesh.

Also, the fact that as Shanti's ghost kills Mukesh and then looks at Om, tears in her eyes, perfectly aligns with my theory that Shanti realised her love towards Om only in her dying moments

[orgverse]

san's red hair got me and @sanjoongie going crazzzyyyyy. so please enjoy this while i make topaz suffer. N E WAYS this is also apart of a pornstar au that i'm currently working on, so enjoy!!

for the two, almost three, years you have known san, he has always had black hair. you remember watching videos and seeing him with different colored hair, but never in person. when him and wooyoung had reached out wanting to film a video with you and hongjoong, he had just cut and dyed his hair back to black from the blonde mullet he hand. and since then its been black.

so you were throughly surprised when you opened your apartment door and was greeted with bright red hair. your jaw dropped, literally. you probably would have started drooling if san didn't start teasing you. "you'll catch flies, star girl."

you were def going to be seeing stars soon.

san had volunteered to help you with your stream tonight since seonghwa was away visiting his parents, and hongjoong was busy editing the film you just finished shooting with yunho.

"no wooyoung?" you asked when you noticed the louder of the two males nowhere in sight.

"nah, he says he wants to stay home and watch the stream instead. think he said something about wanting to support his fav girl," he told you he walked into the apartment and removed his designer shoes. you noted how sexy san looked with his entire outfit. simple, but san was good at making simple look sexy.

his black tank top doing well to show off his muscles and his slim waist, and his jeans hugging his body nice and framing what little ass he has. but you won't tell him that because he would argue he does have an ass. sure, san, sure. he takes off the jean jacket he had been wearing and hangs it over the computer chair that seonghwa usually sits in.

he towers over you as he watches you pull up the website, love-heart-xx, and set up the stream. you remember san mentioning how he had streamed too back before he stopped and focused solely on just porn films.

"you're setup is very cute. very you," san says when you get up to let him sit down. that's when he finally takes a few moments to look around the room.

"o-oh, you think so?" you ask, a little caught off guard by his words. san nods his head, red hair bouncing with the movement.

"all the decorations are cute and welcoming, it makes it feel like its your personal bedroom and not a separate one. it feels... lived in," he explains and you feel a heat spread through your body at his words.

you've always admired san, having watched him since he first started his career in the porn industry. you kind of wish you found him when he still streamed. it had always been a goal – a dream actually, to film with him.

and now he's helping you with your stream. un-fucking-real.

"well, i'm going to go get ready! i'll be right back!" san doesn't say anything, but nods his head and gives you a smile before you're turning and walking out of the room.

walking into your actual bedroom you share with hongjoong, you find your lover sitting at his computer, headphones on, and eyes focused on the video editing program in front of him. you notice he's at the part where you and yunho were making out. yunho's hand holding your chin as his tongue licks over your own before he's sucking on it. you remember that scene and knowing what comes next makes you rubs your thighs together.

no, you needed to get changed. walking over to your walk-in closet, you go over to the section that was specific for streaming. you dug through your clothes before pulling out a dark blue lingerie set. when you walked out of the closet, you noticed hongjoong had his headphones off and was turned facing your direction.

"hey, babe," you said putting the lingerie on the bed before you take your shirt off. you notice hongjoong is looking at you, his eyes focused on how your breast bounced a little before you're taking your shorts and underwear off.

"i thought i heard you sneak in. is san here?" he asks and you nod your head as you step into the blue lingerie bottoms before putting the bra on. you look at yourself in the full-length mirror, turning to look at every part of you. "does this look good?"

hongjoong lets out a sigh before he's standing up and making his way over to you. his arm wrapping around your waist as he takes in your appearance. "you look beautiful," he says kissing your neck. he gives your ass a good pat before he walking back over to his desk.

"are you going to try and watch some of the stream?" you ask, making your way over to the door. hongjoong nods giving you a smile.

"of course, i'll do my best to pop in."

"okay! so usually seonghwa just sits here and kind of moderates chat. usually while i'm talking to chat, he'll jump in, but you don't have to if you don't want to," you tell san as you sit on the bed. you look at yourself in the monitor setup in front of you as you attempted to make sure you looked good. "do i look okay?" you ask, looking towards san.

"perfect," he says making you look away from him, a little flustered.

"you can go ahead and hit the button, san," you tell him shyly. he lets out a small chuckle before he's clicking the 'start stream' button and you watch as the stream starts and viewer start pouring in.

"hi guys!" you say, smile overtaking your face as you wave to the camera. the chat on the side of the screen being filled with your usual watchers greeting you. tips easily coming in. "i'm doing good tiger-star! hope you're doing well! ... oh! you like this piece, rubyred? i'm glad you like it, i've been wanting to wear it for a while!"

san watches you with a smile on his face. he takes in how natural you look interacting with your chat and... chatting with them.

"oh!" you say clapping your hands and earning san's attention, "seonghwa couldn't be here today... i know sunshine-sparkle, i'm sad too, but! we have a lovely person who agreed to cover for him tonight! ... no hotpants it is not patrick star," you deadpanned that last part making san chuckle. "sannie is here!" you say looking towards the male how leans forward just enough to stick his hand in front of the camera.

mega_yn_fan : holy shit THE choi san!!!

guylovescheese : FUCK! how much to see him fuck your pussy???

a_lexa_star22 : i would gladly pay to see that happen!

"do you think they want me to fuck you?" he teases making you let out a small laugh. suddenly, you see a rather large tip come in making you almost fall off the bed from how far you leaned over to look at it.

"holy shit! thank you wooenergizer for the three thousand dollar tip," you say, still not comprehending the sudden amount.

"oh, that's wooyoung!" san says, right before you read the message he also sent in with the tip.

"three thousand to see sannie finger you," you read out loud, feeling flustered by the message. wooyoung really had no self-control or filter.

san lets out a chuckle before he's standing up from his seat and crawling onto the bed next to you.

"if chat gets to ten thousand i'll fuck this pretty pussy," san says, spreading your legs to gently pat your clothed cunt. "sound good?" san adds before looking at you and you nod your head.

you let out a breathy moan, hips jerking forward as san fucks you hard and fast with his fingers. the wet sounds from your pussy mingling in with your moans, your manicured nails digging into san's thighs. he had removed his pants a while ago, leaving him in just his tank top and underwear. you feel his hard-on rubbing against your backside.

his other hand gropes your breast, your bra being pulled down to let your breast out. he pinches your nipples and gives it a good tug making you let out a whine at the feeling.

"s-sannie, please so-s-so good, fuck!" you say, tilting your head back to let it rest on san's shoulder. you could feel the tension rising within you, your orgasm coming soon. you attempted to close your legs but san didn't let you.

he pulls his fingers out of you and you whine at the empty feeling. san uses both his hands to spread your legs, throwing them over his own legs to keep them open. you moaned at how you could see your pussy on full display to for everyone watching. your pussy dripping with juices that run out of you and you can see it glistening under the lights.

you yelp, jumping and whole body bouncing when san suddenly gave your pussy a good smack before he's rubbing furious circles on your clit. "s-s-sa-san!"

"look at that, star girl, your chat got us to five thousand. that's halfway. should we switch it up?" he asks and you wonder who's he's talking to.

"hm... hungry2ho says they want you to sit on my face. i don't know hungry, do you think y/n's been a good girl enough to sit on my face?" san asks and you clench at the thought of sitting on san's face. he suddenly grabs your face, turning you to look at him. his eyes half-lidded as he meets your lustful and almost fucked out ones. "do you think you deserve to sit on my face?"

"p-ple-please san, i-i've been good! let me please," you're begging him now and san can't help the smirk that paints his lips.

"well~ since you asked so nicely, who am i to deny my pretty star girl," san says and you can feel your thighs tremble. "open your mouth," his voice is commanding and you do it without a second thought. you let out a loud moan as you watch san spit in your mouth, allowing it to run down your tongue and throat. "such a nasty girl. no wonder wooyoung is so fond of you, just like him," he says before moving to lay on his back, his bright red hair a heavy contrast to the cream-colored bedsheets.

"oh fuck– san, san! your tongue feels soooo good~" you say with a moan as you rock your hips back and forth. san had a tight gripped wrapped around your legs and waist as he kept you pinned down to mouth. his nose bumped against your clit, rubbing and stimulating it nicely as his tongue licked and fucked your pussy.

you glanced down, running your hand through his soft hair to see his eyes staring intensely at you. he stare honestly made your heart skip a beat as you felt his moans vibrate through you and shake your core. san kneaded the flesh of your ass before giving it a firm smack. the sound resonating through the room and you were sure anyone watching could have heard it.

wooenergizer : look at how you're falling apart on sannie's tongue 👅 can't wait to see you fall apart on his dick... again 🍆💦

you couldn't but let out a hearty laugh at wooyoung's comment before you see others in the chat agree with him. knowing wooyoung was still watching also made your heart skip a beat, because along with san, wooyoung had also been someone you admired within the industry.

"mmh~ san, fuck so good! i think i'm gonna cum!" you say, letting your head roll back a little as you grind your hips again, san's nose once again nudging at your clit.

"hold it, pretty star," san says, voice just as stern and intense as his eyes. you feel yourself clench when you notice the lower half of his face is glistening with your juices.

"sannie," you say, hand running through his hair as your other one runs over your body, feeling yourself and groping one of your breast. "please fuck me."

"i don't think your viewers want me to fuck you. you're still only at eight thousand," san says in a rather mocking tone.

"fuck– please, please let sannie fuck me! i need his cock so badly!" you beg looking at the camera and indirectly looking at your viewers. your eyes were pleading with them and hoping that your begging would convince them to continuing to tip you.

fuck, you felt like such a cock slut right now. but you couldn't deny how good san's cock was and how badly you wanted it.

and then it happened. you heard the familiar sound of being tipped and you immediately had to do a double take on it.

k.yeosang tipped $5,000.

your viewers must have seen the tip as well as the chat immediately exploded in excitement at the tip, knowing it was only a matter of time before they got to see you take san's dick.

"yeosang!" you say, chest warming when you realized it the male who had donated to you. "thank you so much! wow, you definitely didn't have to tip that much, but i really appreciate it!" you say, sliding off of san and letting him sit up so he could see the tip as well. he ran a hand down your back, noticing how your legs slightly trembled.

k.yeosang : make sure to invite me next time 😉

"i'll def keep in it mind, yeo," you say, not being able to stop the smile that overtakes you. you feel san pressing open mouthed on your neck and trailing down your back. you allow san to to move you so you're resting on your hands and knees, and you can't help the yelp that escapes you when you feel san gently bite your ass. you watch yourself and san through the monitor, feeling your excitement start to swell up as he removes his underwear and tossing them to the floor. you arch your ass, high into the air and gently sway it in an attempt to tempt san to move faster.

you moan as you see him pump his cock. the angry red tip, leaking with precum which his is using to lube himself. "s-sannie," you call out earning the male's attention. he smirks, running a hand through his hair before he's positioning himself at your entrance. you couldn't help the breathy moans that left you as san entered you. stretching you out, but sucking him in nonetheless.

"you sound like a bitch in heat, y/n," he laughs as he gently positions you, hands gripping your hips as he starts off with a harsh and fast pace. your mouth was fixed in a perfect o-shape, unable to close it and also so easily lost in pleasure that you couldn't make a sound.

having san fuck you was like a new experience, each and every time. of course it was mainly different because of the films you did together. each scenario being different enough from the last that it gave you a new experience each time.

and this time was no different. you couldn't help but shove your face into the sheets. wanting a moment to just feel san's cock abused your insides, yet the sudden sting to your scalp said otherwise. san held your hair harshly, gripping it to the point it was almost painful.

"don't hide your face, y/n, your viewers paid good money to see you get fucked by me. don't make them waste their money," san says as you feel him rest his body weight on top of you.

"i-i'm sorry!" you said, however who you were saying it to, you weren't sure. you felt tears start to brim your waterline, but thankful san let go of your hair in favor of using both his hands to prop himself up. the sound of skin slapping skin ringed in your ears. his cock rubbed against your walls, stretching you out over and over again and it made start to see small white stars in your vision.

"s-san! sansansan so-s-so fuuuucking good! ugh– please, please let me cum!" san presses a kiss between your shoulder blades before he's thrusting even harder. the tension in your stomach building up, waiting to snap and explode any moment now.

"fuck, i am too, my star. gonna let me cum inside you? give your viewers a good creampie?"

"yes! fuck, yes! fill me up!" you begged, you noticed your arms were now in front of you, hanging off the edge of the bed. you swear you feel a line drool run down your chin, but you arms feel so much like jelly that you don't have the energy to wipe it away. not that you care anyways.

then suddenly, you feel san pulling out and you feel your approaching orgasm quickly escaping you. you're about to scream, throw a fit before san is hoisting you up off your stomach on onto your knees. you are left slightly confused and dazed before san is entering you again. his arms hooking underneath yours to keep you up right. this new position allowing everyone to get a good few of san fucking your pussy.

"go ahead and cum," you hear him whisper and just like that, the coil snaps inside of you and your cumming with a loud and well... pornographic moan. san gives you a few more thrusts before he's sheathing himself deep inside of you and also cumming inside of you with a low groan.

you are out of breath, covered in a layer of sweat when san pulls out of you and quickly positions you on the bed. legs spread wide apart before he's getting off the bed. you watch him with dazed eyes as he picks the camera up – you want to complain about how he's ruined the perfect position you spent months working to find, but you don't have the energy to say anything. instead you watch him as he does a close up on your pussy which slowly begins to leak out his cum.

his fingers come to spread your pussy lips, showing off how much cum he truly stuff you with before he's scooping some up on his fingers. "fuck look at how well he's took him, such a good pussy," you hear him say at one point.

then san is panning the camera up to your fucked out face, his cum-covered finger easily slipping inside your open mouth. you have just enough energy to eagerly suck on his finger, tongue licking up his cum and cleaning his fingers. when he's sure your done, he removes them with a pop sound the rings around the room.

"tell your viewers bye," san says in a cheery tone making you smile at both him and the camera.

"bye-bye~" you say smiling, waving, and blowing several kisses to the camera that goes further away from you as san goes over to the computer to end the livestream.

san put the camera back on the tripod before he coming over to the bed. he pulls you more towards the edge of it by your ankles and you laugh at how easily he does it. his strength showing once again. he rubs circles onto you ankles before he's leaning over you.

"thank you, san," you say pressing a kiss to his cheek. you notice a faint pink dusting san's cheeks as he pulling away from you.

"of course," he says with a cough, "you know i enjoy spending time with you," he says adds on making butterflies swarm around your stomach.

"really?"

"really. now come on, let's get cleaned up and go bother hongjoong for food," san says with a smile as he helps you off the bed and begins walking you towards the door before he's stopping. turning to you before adding, "i would love to do this again soon. maybe even watch you and wooyoung have some fun."

"gosh, shut up and take me to the bathroom, you fool."

[murderthegods]

One thing I really like about I Saw the TV Glow that I don't see people talking about is the specific tone that "there is still time" takes on in it. Lots of people talking about that line ofc, but I see everyone talking about it as though it's unambiguously and only a message of hope.

The obvious thing to take away from "there is still time" is of course that you can still save yourself. As long as you haven't died yet, you still have a chance. You don't have to die like this. You can still live your life. And that's not not the point of the line ofc, but I'd argue it's missing something, and that's that you haven't left yet.

This is the movie about the fear of the known, the horror of there being no monsters, the fear of waiting. And in that context, a message of reassurance that I can afford to wait a little longer is awful! I don't want to wait any longer! I know I'm going to wait for as long as I can, but I want out! Obviously it's better than not having any time at all, but only because that would be the train hitting me. "There is still time" means I'm standing on the tracks like a deer in the headlights, and the train might be miles away but I can see it and I can feel in my bones that I can't move yet - or that I won't - and a voice tells me that I'll be fine, I can afford to stay on the tracks a little longer, it'll be fine, I'm not dying yet, it's fine, there is still time, but every second I still have time is a second I still can't breathe.

I've lived my entire life haunted by deadlines and the lack thereof, and to me the phrase "there is still time" contains just as much dread as the rest of the movie. If there weren't any time, then I could just, I dunno, power through it. I've written enough essays the night before, it's not fun, I hate it actually, but as long as I still have time I know from experience that I'm not going to do it yet. If I were on my deathbed then I could just make my dying words "I was a girl the whole time" and I wouldn't have to deal with any of the consequences because I'd be dead. In a way, that's the easy way out. Which, y'know, is the whole point! If I wait until I don't have any time left to start living, then I almost may as well have not done anything! That's what the movie is scared of.

I do actually have time, it is genuinely fine if I don't do anything right this second, or tonight, or this month, but how many years do I want to let that add up? I don't want to spend another year like this, much less ten! The scary thing isn't the idea of "dying like this" - how I am at the moment of my death is almost immaterial compared to how I am in all the years I'll have before then! The scary thing is every day I spend being like this, and none of them individually are all that scary but all of them is terrifying! I can't believe that I don't have time because it's not true and because then I'd be so paralyzed with fear and despair I wouldn't do anything, but if I actually fully believed that I did have time, I'd do what Owen did!

The more I think about it the more odd it seems that people are latching onto the phrase "there is still time" as a message of hope. It is pretty objectively a true statement in this context and it's even pretty inarguably hopeful, but it's also kinda obviously a phrase that can only be meant to encourage inaction. The point of it is that you don't have to do anything (yet). In a movie that we can all see is clearly about how you need to do something! It's created a fascinating environment where people say "There is still time, so go on hrt today!" seemingly without spotting any contradiction! If there's still time, I may as well start tomorrow, right?

Yes, if you don't believe you have time, if you believe your life is already over, then you're probably not going to do anything to improve it, but equally as much, who would ever take a risk to improve their life now if they think they have all the time in the world?

[sky-kiss]

Pinned Post: Guess I Should Make One

I mean, it's a Trash House. But I probably shouldn't have just like...a bunch of loose fic just rolling around the blog. I'm going to try and keep this updated but. I mean. You and I both know I won't.

Long Fic:

Sex, Death & the Infinite Void - Chapter 1 - Sky_kiss - Baldur's Gate (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

My ongoing fic, focused on Raphael's attempted conquest of the Hells. Things have not gone as smoothly as anticipated. He comes to the Dark Urge after death and makes a deal. Team Theater Kid does its best to navigate deals with Archdevils, start a cult, Joi's father manifesting in her life. Etc.

I Don't Think About You Anymore (But I Don't Think About You Any Less) - Chapter 1 - Sky_kiss - Baldur's Gate (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

Ok, it's not long. A two-part fic in a sad times AU, where Raphael offered a Dark Urge a place as his consort. She refuses him. They have a terrible relationship (it gets better?)

Hell In Your Eyes - Sky_kiss - Baldur's Gate (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

Raphael has a bad dream. He wants to feel in control again. So, he bangs his duchess. That's it. That's the fic. I lied. This is now a smut compilation fic.

Second Nature to Me Now - Chapter 1 - Sky_kiss - Baldur's Gate (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

This is an unholy amalgamation of Baldur's Gate and My Fair Lady. No. I will not answer any questions.

A Helping Hand - Sky_kiss - Baldur's Gate [Archive of Our Own]

Haarlep/F!Tav/Ascended Fiend Raphael have a good time.

Raphael x Tav Tumblr Asks Fics: (Under the Cut. TOO MANY)

Oh, god. Why didn't I NAME any of these. The titles get unhinged:

Angry Raphael Doing Torture

Raphael Speaking Infernal to Tav is Sexy

Tav is a Moron Who Signed a Contract Without Reading It

Bathing Raphael

Tav Accepts Raphael's Offer to Go to Hell (But in a Hot Way?)

Raphael Dancing with Tav

Tav is in Danger, Raphael Saves Her

Tav Snoops Around the Devil's Den (Raph is Right There, Idiot)

Raphael Attempts A Love Confession (Local Devil Crashes/Burns)

Softer Raphael? I Think This One Involves Cuddles

Word Prompts: Love & Worth

Raphael x Haarlep: Haarlep Teaches Raph a Lesson

Raph X Tav: Sex in Front of Mirror

Raphael Get Mugged (But Not Killed!) in his OWN HOUSE

Local Devil Publicly Shamed, Emergency Contact Still His Ex

Local Devil Exploits Idiot BFF's Propensity for Dying

Devil's Boyfriend Asks Out Devil's Idiot Crush; Is Only Sane Person

Local Devil Too Lazy to Shave Himself, But Also Sexy/Shirtless

Local Devil Partners and Terrible Drow Bitch About Parents

Reader Makes Very Bad Choices with Local Ascended Fiend

Local Devil Gets a Treat (Smut)

Local Devil Reminds You He Is Not for Cuddles (He Is)

Local Devil Sandwich Local Idiot (But Cute)

Coffee Shop AU: Friends Attempt to Help Local Idiot Date Hot Man

Coffee Shop AU 2: Friends Takes Matters Into Own Hands Due to Growing Disgust and Repulsion with Local Idiot and Hot Man

Local Devil Masquerades as Priest; Local Idiot Fooled

Local Devil and Local Idiot Just Kinda Grind on Each Other?

Local Devil and Local Idiot Throwdown in Hell

Local Idiot Tries to Rob Local Devils, Is Shocked by Repercussions

Coffee Shop AU 3: Local Idiot and Hot Man Flirt After Date

Coffee Shop AU 4: Just Some Shower Cuddles

Local Idiots Saves Local Devil's Lives: Is a Threesome Currency?

Coffee Shop AU 5: Snowday

Ascended Fiend Raphael Smut

Local Devil Is Kind of Nice for Once, Offers Bath

Local Devil is Truly Over the Local Idiot's Stupidity

Raphael Solo Sexy-Time

Reader Get Wrecked By Local Devils

Local Devil is Feeling Soft for Local Idiot

Local Idiot is so Dumb She Causes Local Devil Psychic Damage

Local Devil naps on Local Idiot

Reader is Hunted by Haarlep and Ascended Fiend Raphael

Local Devil Horrified by Own Child

Local Devil Not Dead, Gets Some Horrible Revenge via Local Idiot

Huge Devil Creatures Gives Cuddles

Local Devil Really Badly Burned (But not Dead!)

Local Devil Mistaken for Tiefling (Exhausted)

Things go Very Badly for Local Idiot

Local Devil Catches a Cold

Local Devil Introduces Local Idiot To Devil Father. It's bad

Asmodeus x Baalphegor

Local Idiot Kills Devil Crush, Consults Major Devil Hottie for Help

Local Idiot has Pissed Off Local Devil, Relationship in Shambles

Local Devil Transforms Nude

Local Devil has Beautiful Hands

Coffeehouse AU: Office Hours

Local Devils go "Fishing"

Local Idiot Helps Bloody Naked Local Devil to Take a Bath

Dadphael: His Kids are Thieves

Local Idiots Gets Absolutely Destroyed by Local Devils

Local Devils are Genuinely Awful: Bad Ending

Local Demon Seduces Local Idiot

Raphael x F!Tav: Corruption Smutlet

Raphael x F!Tav: War

CoffeShop Au Part Whatever: It's Snowy or Rainy and they Cuddle

Raphael and an Angel Play Chess or Something

Raphael is really too old to be drinking milk but here we are

Doll!Tav Get Their World Rocked By Raph/Haarlep

Local Devil "Comforts" a Sad/Tired Tav

Raphael and Haarlep Wreck Local Idiot

Modern AU Snippet Channeling some House of Usher

Haarlep and Raphael have some Bath Fun

Raphael and Tav have a Kissy in Honor of Kissy Day

Raphael is not dead (but is pissed off)

Raphael is too good for sex but is still going bang you

Early Raphael/Haarlep

Raphael Lingers in Bed and has big cat energy

Post post post canon Raphael GETS THE BIG WIN

Raphael & Jaheira have a catty conversation

Random Crap (Headcanons & Stuff) & Other People's DOPE ART:

Raph x Joi: Dirty Headcanons

Joi Looks Like This

Timeskip Raphael (SHAHS, YOU QUEEN)

Raphael & Joi Shopping (Please Note the Brooch)

Simply Drew a Gorgeous Joi (Thank you!)

Simply Drew Raphael and Raphael

Commission of Duchess Joi!

Simply Drew The Cutest Raph/Joi I've Ever Seen, Go, Gaze Upon It

Simply Drew a Sexy Murder Joi (Fresh from hunting her not husband)

Commission of Archduke Raphael and Duchess Joi

Ok. I think that's all of them. You no longer have to roam the wilds of the blog if you do not wish. I have released you from that dark task. Love ya'll. You're great. /finger guns/ Send me asks if you want. If I don't get to them immediately, I apologize.

But yeah. Keep on keeping on. Keep like...being amazing for Raphael. He doesn't deserve it, and he won't appreciate it, but like...I dunno.

[kerubimcrepin]

Wakfu Manga - Tome 4, Part 1

During every tome his character bio is mostly the same, save for little rephrasings, and yet it's always such a blast. The Brotherhood of Tofu has bewitched him.

I'm insane... I'm crazhyy.

Imagine being an Eliatrope demigod whose entire purpose is chilling and inspiring others to chill. Like imagine spending millions of reincarnations chilling and there's no war or tragedy, besides maybe the fact that you often outlive people due to being a demigod (but even that is remedied by the fact that you have 11 siblings).

Now imagine a war breaks out and shit. Maybe it breaks out twice. God knows if they reincarnated between these two, though they probably did.

NOW imagine that, after defeating the baddie, — even though you're the demigod of chilling, you spend thousands of years in absolute silence in cosmos trying to catch your deity mother's psionic suffering waves to rescue her, and THEN you face a fate worse than death.

Wouldn't it be fucked.

There are some very good Joris moments in this volume — though the peak was in tome 3. He looks pretty interested in this, for obvious reasons.

Of course YOU would know about century-long art projects, century boy.

The fact that an entire planet is just gone and lost is very tragic to me. They'll never know their home, even if the World of Twelve is also home to them.

STOP BEING CUTE!

Not him standing menacingly and looking right at the reader 😭🤣

He is getting so much enrichment from this. So much mental enrichment, like a cat.

He always knows when to say something ominous and scary.

Very good Joris expression.

HIS FANGS. HIS FANGS. HELLO?!

Anyway, this being the face he pulls after seeing a past incarnation of Yugo come to terms with his immenent death and never seeing his brother again, is so Joris-core. Of course he'd go "🤨"

But despite his chipper attitude here, his mood and curiosity start to rapidly deteriorate after this moment:

I think that for Joris "I am afraid of being alone so thank god my father and uncle are together with me for centuries and remember me after dying, because I don't know how I'd live otherwise" Crepin-Jurgen — talks of actual proper reincarnation with memory loss are scary and exhausting.

He didn't exactly have anyone to tell him what Kerubim and Atcham would be like, after reincarnating. Maybe he spent the couple of years that they were kittens and couldn't talk, fully convinced that he lost Kerubim forever.

That's bound to leave a mark on a person.

It's especially horrifying and off-putting because of how casual Adamai and Yugo are about death and forgetting. Joris has always valued memories — they may as well be all he has of some of the people he loves, at this point. It's the reason he gifted them his fishing rod — in a way, it is a memory of Khan.

Yet, every time Yugo and Adamai die, some new version of them — a version they won't have control over, a version who will forget everyone they have loved up to that moment, — will spring forth and take their place. They'll have new families. "They" probably had hundreds of children and hundreds of lovers in the past, but were those people even them? Is it going to be "them" after they die?

He likes Yugo and Adamai a lot. The thought that someday some strangers may take their place is... a lot.

I can't discuss this scene without including these two entire pages, because something very interesting is happening here:

Joris, quite carelessly, lifts the pillow that contains two precious items, with an annoyed expression, before aggressively questioning Adamai.

I really think he hates all the reincarnation talk.

Anyway, he has very visible fingernails again. Nail polish win.

The fact that sexy femboy Baltazar is exclusive to Wakfu manga is oppression against teachers and education workers.

Joris is worried that something bad happened, but it was just inter-adventurer party abuse, which is normal.

He's so ready for this bullshit to be over.

Standing a very asocial distance apart from everyone. As is the usual <3

[coffeeandbatboys]

This is Carol (@clonethirstingisreal)

Congrats on your 300 followers!!! Thanks for the tag! <3

I'd like to request Wolffe and the song "Kiss An Angel Good Morning" by Charley Pride.

I was just listening to it the other day, and I always really enjoy the "Kiss an angel good morning and love her like the devil when you get back home" part. <3 (It actually gives me chills.)

Thanks again!

Thank you!!! It gives me chills too! I was raised on classic country so Charley is a staple for me 😅

I acknowledge that the song is happy but does that stop the angsties? no.

Warnings: angsty, clingy Wolffe with a dash of hot sauce. Mention of the reader dying but its just a nightmare.

Kiss an Angel Good Morning (Wolffe x Reader)

He really doesn't want to leave you. But the 104th's shore leave is up and there's nothing he can do about it. You watch as he straps on his kit, checking the clips at least twice to stall for time.

You don't want him to go either. The two of you have had less and less time together as the war goes on.

His gaze lands on you. Mismatched, but still one of the most beautiful things you've ever seen.

"Kark, cyare." He mutters, kneeling next to the bed to touch your foreheads together. You shush him and press your lips to his. A groan resonates from his chest and his shoulders slump. Now he really doesn't want to go.

You gently push him by the chestplate. "Go, before the General gets suspicious and starts asking around." you giggle.

His lips twitch in a humorless smile for a brief second. "I love you."

You return the grin, albeit much happier than his. "I love you too. Come back safely."

You give him a couple more kisses 'for good luck' and watch as he bolts out the door.

Weeks pass before your apartment door is opened by his key. Happiness wells up inside you as you stir the pot on the stove and peek towards the entrance.

But the sight only makes you frown. He's haphazardly stacking his kit next to the door. He's never treated his armor like that, so you know that something must be wrong.

"Wolffe?" You ask, keeping your voice calm.

He says nothing, only looking at you and striding over to take you in his arms.

With the way he's holding you, something must have scared him. You reach behind you to turn the stove off and return the hug.

"What's wrong?" You ask, pressing a little so that you'll figure out what to do with him.

He shakes his head against your shoulder.

"Force osik and nightmares. I just want to feel you."

You nod, even though he probably doesn't see it and gently guide the two of you to the couch in the living area.

He presses his lips to yours. The kiss starts out slow, and as it goes on it deepens. It's desperate, but you lean into his hold. You won't deny him your affection on any day.

His tongue runs lightly over the edge of your bottom lip before his kisses trail down your jaw, moving to your neck where he gives the gentlest of nips. Your fingers curl into his hair as his kisses find their way to the collar of your shirt. You can't help but blush and giggle as he grabs the soft material with his teeth and pulls it aside to make room for more kisses.

His hand wanders beneath the hem of your shirt and caresses your torso.

"Wolffe," You murmur, bringing a hand to his cheek. "You have to tell me what happened."

His eyes squeeze shut.

"We came in contact with a sith artifact." He groans. "Gave us all our worst nightmares for a week."

You quirk a brow, knowing where this is going. "And?"

He sighs against your chest. "Mine was losing you. Kriff, Mesh'la. I watched you die every night after that."

Your hand cards through his dark curls again. "I'm right here, Wolffe."

He resumes his trail of kisses, nudging the crook of your neck with his nose. His hand slips further beneath your shirt, asking permission to go further.

You kiss his forehead in response as you let him feel you and make sure he knows you’re alive.

[tiramizuloz]

Lily

prev: | masterlist: | next:

Sweat glistening on his forehead, he took four steps forward, finding it hard to muster up the courage to knock on her front door.

His thoughts raced faster than the speed of light, standing still like a tree.

His grip on the bouquet of lilies tightens, almost feeling like the flowers will explode in his hands.

The door suddenly is opened by an angel, his angel. It’s like time stopped and the only thing he could see was her face - her lips slightly parted and her cheeks just a tiny bit flushed. Her eyes darted from the bouquet in his hands to his eyes. Oh god, he thought, his legs were so close to giving up when she looked at him.

“Hello, Tobio. What brings you here?” She has a small smile on her face, her eyes refulgent. He swore he could see Sirius shining in there.

Despite the tight feeling in his throat he opens his mouth “Hi… I just wanted to ask if you wanted to go out with me and uh this is for you”, he hands her the bouquet and looks down.

She holds the flowers gently and slowly brings them to her face, closing her eyes she lets the smell hit her nose. “Thank you Tobio, how did you know lilies were my favorites?”

“I asked Yachi.” he whispers quietly, his voice slowly dying in his throat.

She nodded her head “Mmm.. okay and oh! Yes we can go out. Where do you wanna take me?”

“To the new aquarium that opened recently”

“Yachi sure gave you the best advice” she giggled at the bright red blush on his face. “Before we go I just need to put those in a vase… wanna come inside while you wait for me?”

He immediately nods his head, and she smiles at that. She turns her back to him and goes inside her apartment, leaving the door open for him. Awkwardly following her like a lost puppy, he looks around, finally seeing where she lives.

Eyes scanning his surroundings, he finds himself in awe at how comfy and pleasant her home looks. The small yellow couch, the fluffy carpet that looks like a cloud, and the dozen lamps scattered around that make the place look cozy. She interrupts his hawking, placing a big white vase decorated with blue shapes on her coffee table.

“I’m done, we can go now.”

                         𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼

The walk on the way to the aquarium is quiet. Kageyama is trying to keep his cool and not shake from nervousness.

‘’Tobio?’’ she calls for him with that sweet voice ‘’Yeah?’’ ‘’Are you and Tsukishima still… hmmm not good?’’ she asks, turning to the side to face him ‘’Well…’’ he gulps down, trying to find the right words to answer her question

‘’We are still not talking’’ she sighs a little bit ‘’I'm not surprised, neither of you two will apologize but you know… both of you are in the wrong’’ his pupils dilated, his hands turning into a fist, his mouth becoming a straight line.

‘’It's okay Kageyama.. no need to get so tense, I'm not judging you. Just please be mature and apologize’’ He looks up at her and sees her small smile ‘’Okay, I will try.. and I will apologize.’’ ‘’Oh? That's good to hear! Now let’s stop being so serious we have a date to enjoy’’ she grabs his hand and pulls him into the aquarium.

taglist: @cupidsblonde @diorzs @grassbutneo @vrxouei @ilobeumegum1 @soobin1437 @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @animis18 @sunghoonsgfreal

a/n: I want to apologize to everyone reading this because I haven't been putting that much effort into this series. I will go on a semi hiatus after finishing sophistic boy because of school and will probably post a few times a month but won't release another smau because I don't want to post anything that isn't good enough. tbh I've been losing all my motivation to write and yh,,

© tiramizuloz all rights reserved. do not repost, modify, steal, plagiarize, or translate my works on any platform.

[blue-howlite]

Rambling about my new obsession because I'm the sole lord of this glorified trashcan and I can.

Sylus from Love and Deepspace.

Warnings: spoilers for his two story chapters, spoilers about Dawnbreaker, generic spoilers about the game, a lot of self indulgent thinking, error.404 coherence not found, we're hopping from one thought to the other like the sparrows on the window, inaccuracies are likely to happen I'm just a silly guy.

THIS MAN.

So, from the blurred scene we see as flashback when we're on the rooftop with him and stuff, someone made out the figure of a "Wanderer" Sylus on his knees, stabbed with a sword in the chest by the MC. I'll add the link to the Tumblr post with the video here. The video is from TikTok but it's easier to see here if you ask me and besides this is what triggered all my thinking.

Now, hear me out.

We know the other guys (well you guys probably know, I landed on the game for Sylus and saw almost nothing of the in-game lore of the guys, I only know spoilers from social media and something from the anecdotes) all sacrificed something for MC in her past lives. Faith, power, people... They had all to renounce to something to protect MC. Some people were wondering what Sylus sacrificed for her in her past life with him.

This would be the explanation.

He literally died for her.

Like in the flashback he tells MC to press on, so she didn't kill him as an enemy, but he LET her kill him. And for some reason she HAD to kill him too. We can see his clawed hand cradling hers and making her hold the hilt of the sword.

Now if we go down the wanderer theory, y'all are familiar with Dawnbreaker anecdotes right? How people started turning into wanderers and the alternative Zayne had to kill them even though they still had human looks for the most part.

So what if Sylus was, in another life, that kind of wanderer? A human turned into a monster, that MC had no choice but to kill?

BUT WE'RE NOT STOPPING HERE. OH NO WE'RE REACHING WITH THIS ONE.

The surroundings, for what little we could see in the blurry flashbacks, weren't of Linkon, or any place on the current in-game earth for that matter. A very post-apocalyptic vibe, right?

AND we know from Dawnbreaker that his world is going in a similarly dystopic direction: the government is hiding the fact that people are turning into wanderers, Linkon in ruins, normal wanderers roaming free and people forced inside their houses. We've seen suspicious wanderers in the new story chapters too, when we were at the club fighting the other faction of Onychinus. Just reminding y'all.

Now I won't reach THAT much by saying that Dawnbreaker is in the same timeline of wanderer Sylus and MC (though...) BUT what if in their timeline they found themselves in that similar situation, just way further ahead and way worse? MC as one of the few surviving humans with Sylus as her companion, both of them trying to "press on", with ultimately Sylus turning into a wanderer and getting killed by MC, then her dying later on.

This feels like a mashup of Doom Breaker and Eternal Afterlife but it's probably just me.

And all the possible simbolysm, as the person in the video noticed, like the claw gripping a heart on Sylus's necklace? Could it be symbolic of his wanderer self clinging to his humanity? Or maybe his wanderer self, still somehow conscious, offering his heart to MC to be killed, like he did in the flashback?

Also, just to mention the other necklace he has, with the heart being impaled; I don't know how strong vampire lore is in China, BUT a stake to the heart is what is traditionally believed to kill vampires. And vampires, traditionally, are represented as parasites, or rather humans that are possessed by a parasite, and killing them is putting the human soul at peace and saving it. So apply it to Sylus and the earlier reasonings about his past life with MC.

It's the theme of losing humanity and being saved through death before it's too late.

Also it would be such a good parallel with the scene from their first (not exactly first but you get it) interaction, when Sylus presses MC's gun to his chest and encourages her to shoot. Like MC killed him at the first chance she got.

Which would support the wanderer Sylus theory.

And that thing about not being killed by the same thing twice in Lost Oasis??? Hello???

Yes he didn't actually die and can use his energy manipulation to heal himself quickly but you get my point:

He coerced her into shooting at his heart. Where she likely stabbed him in the other timeline.

...

Okay now that we've talked about this (AAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE LORE THE SYMBOLISM THE PARALLELS THE DEPTH I JUST CAN'T WITH THIS GAME) let's go to something lighter!

Like, did you know that crows are one of the smartest and most loyal birds out there?

They have a great memory and will remember you if you help them, becoming loyal to you (following you around, giving you trinkets...) and sort of adopting you as their god in a way (since they give you offerings and expect food in exchange so you are getting my point I hope). What does this say about Sylus? EVERYTHING.

He comes to MC when he needs help and always rewards her, he literally says that he adores her (not in the main story), has his "flock" (Luke and Kieran, and Mephisto if we want) looking out for her, not to mention the stalking...

He's that perfect mix between adorable crow husband and tormented gothic antagonist.

Alr thank you for coming to my LaD talk, have a cookie 🍪

[storiesbyjes2g]

Hey Jess! I had a question that I figured other people might want to know as well. I'm always amused at how your game matches sims up to marry or have children. I was wondering, what are your MCCC settings that make it happen so well? I have sims sitting in my 'manage households' and none of them have married or moved out with the 'in game' story progression. What's the secret sauce? 🤣

Howdy, partner! 🤭 It's funny you should ask me this because on my seven mile long list of video ideas I have is a short series about MCCC settings, and this is one subject I wanted to cover. But who knows when I'll get it together and actually record those videos lol. As you could imagine, the secret sauce has many ingredients, so I'll put the rest of this under the cut because it's a lot. Here we go!

Even though I said this is a multipart answer--and it is--I'm gonna split this up into two sections because marriages and pregnancies are two separate entities. Many of the settings are the same, and they both fall under the MC Pregnancy module, but they're still separate, and I think of them differently.

Marriages

Marriage Sim Selection

The first thing you should consider is who you want marrying and if your sims should be included in the process. As you've seen, I like seeing the other sims' lives progress, even if it's messy AF LOL. I especially love this happening in the aDOLTing save because I'm technically not allowed to play with anyone else but Luca right now. BUT, I don't want every single sim there is to get married, leaving no single sims for my sims to date. That's what happened in Emmy's generation and why I added Ali into the world because there were exactly TWO eligible males in the entire world, and I knew one of them would definitely not work out. In the Marriage Sim Selection part of MC Pregnancy, you can specify who can and cannot get married. I'm not gonna through each setting, but here are a few that are important enough to note.

Allow homeless marriage: Unless you regularly add your own sims to the world, I would enable this. Otherwise you probably won't have any marriages happening. This is disabled by default. Yes, you run the risk of your unplayable sims marrying someone hideous, but it's better than them dying alone, right? Plus you can always make them over. Your sim doesn't know the difference anyway lol.

Bypass dorm residents: If you don't enable this, your university students will be eligible for marriages!

Bypass played households: IF you want to be the matchmaker for your sims (the playable ones), turn this on! If you're flexible and don't mind surprises, turn it off.

Bypass active sim romances: This one needs to be in red lol. TURN THIS ON! If your sim is dating an NPC, and you don't want that sim to suddenly turn up married (I'm giggling...you know why), you need this on. I think it's on by default though. The only "gotcha" with this setting is that the relationship has to be significant. Lovebirds status isn't strong enough to prevent a marriage. I usually get my sims into an official relationship as soon as possible to prevent this.

Other Marriage

In the Other Marriage section (MC Pregnancy), there are settings for renaming, moving, etc. after marriage. You should definitely check out the settings to tailor it to how you want your world to be, but I want to call out Use Traits for Marriage. This is a newer setting that I enabled as soon as it launched. It doesn't make sense for Don Lothario to get married in every single save. He has the noncommittal trait! Turning this on will take a sim's traits into consideration before determining if they are eligible for random marriages.

Spouse Sim Selection

In this section, you can do things like allow polygamy and inter-family marrying, specify what % of marriages should be same sex, allow teen marriages, etc. Here are just a few settings I want to call out.

Occupancy Preference: It took me some years to figure this out, but this is honestly the key to my entire setup. This determines which group of NPCs are candidates for marriages and pregnancies by where they live. The choices are homeless only, prefer home sims, living in homes only, and none. I have prefer home sims on. I like neighbors dropping by and seeing them walking around, so I tend to put my sims' friends and sims I like into homes. This setting says when it's time for random marriages and pregnancies to occur, sims living in homes get first dibs. If none of them are eligible, then everyone else will have a chance. I used to have this on none, and I was experiencing waaaaaay too many random marriages. Like, good on the homeless sims for having lives lol, but they were snatching up every single eligible sim and I was like this has to stop lol.

Use Same Age-Group: I've gone back and forth about enabling or disabling this one and finally decided to enable it. This will keep your fresh from high school babies from getting married to someone with one foot in the grave! Sims will only marry other sims in the same age group as them. Back in the day I felt sorry for the elders because they're always single when they die. But I also felt sorry for the baby they married lol. True, when they croak, the kid can find new love, but they've wasted so much time being married to the old sim. So with this on, elders aren't completely out of luck. They can just only marry each other.

Pregnancies

Okay! Now that we know how to let sims get married, let's learn how to knock some up! 😂

I would check out the Offspring section of MC Pregnancy on your own just to get familiar with how you can shape your sims' families and even the children to a certain extent, but let's get to the important stuff.

Other Pregnancy

There's really good stuff in here like allow pregnancy aging, pregnancy duration, and random moods, but the only thing I want to call out is Use Traits for Pregnancy. This will take into account sims traits before they are marked as candidates. It won't prevent sims with the hates children trait from getting knocked up, but it will lower the percentage (which you can specify in another section, I think).

Partner Sim Selection

This is similar to marriage sim selection, and in here I also prefer home sims in the occupancy preferences. I also allow a veeeery tiny percentage for allow affairs. I like tea, what can I say? LOL Not everyone is faithful!

Pregnant Sim Selection

This is similar to spouse selection, and I do not allow homeless pregnancies for the same reasons I don't allow homeless marriages. I have all the same settings enabled from spouse selection, so revisit the above. Additionally, I use days until max age. This prevents a sim from getting pregnant X number of days from the end of whatever lifespan you specify is the oldest to be pregnant. I don't allow elder pregnancies, so this stops my adult sims from getting pregnancy X days from their elder birthday. My number is 10, but you pick whatever makes sense for your lifespans. I do this because I've had waaaaaaay too many sims get pregnant and have babies like the day before their elder birthday, and then they die before the kid is a teenager. I don't want orphans in my game! They make me sad. Besides, in real life, at a certain point women can't have children anymore, so I want my game to be the same.

Days to Run Checks: By default, MCCC will go through this process of marrying and knocking up sims 3 nights a week at midnight, but you can change that to whatever you like here. I thought 3 nights a week was WAY too often, so I only have it run once a week on Fridays.

Pregnancy Percentage: Just because the check runs every week doesn't mean I want someone getting pregnant every week. I'm not trying to create a baby boom. I cut the pregnancy percentage for young adults by half and adults by 75% (since IRL it's harder to get pregnant the older you get). I'm not afraid of a teen pregnancy story, so I do have teen pregnancies on and reduced their percentage by 85%. Even though I wouldn't mind telling that story, I don't want a teen pregnancy epidemic lol. I've had this enabled, but I've yet to have MCCC knock up a teen.

I think I skipped over Marriage Percentage but I use the same logic and similar percentages there too.

Valid Target Ages: HA! I see why I've never had a teen pregnancy lol. Even though I have it on, I never marked it as a valid target age. For whatever reason I only have YA selected. Not sure why. Probably for the best. If a teen pregnancy happens, I'd prefer it be my own sims.

Bonus

I love a little risk and challenge and surprise in my game. This is why I love using lumpinou's mods. I not a micromanager and prefer some things be left to chance. I like being able to try for a baby and it maybe not work that time. I don't like how predictable the game is. So, if you're feeling froggy, here are a few more settings for ya!

MC Woohoo - Woohoo Pregnancy

Risky Woohoo Percent: I used to have YA on 3%, but lumpinou has intergrated her mod with MCCC more, so I don't have this enabled anymore here. (it's controlled by her mod now and I think it's at 5% now). 3% might sound low, but MAN I've had so many oopsie babies on that little 3% lol.

Try for Baby Percent: I lowered mine to 65% just to add some variety and give my sims something to work toward. (No, this is not what caused Luca and Sophia's problem LOL).

MCCC Settings - Relationship Settings

I'm highlighting this because, even though I placed it in the bonus section, I highly recommend you check this out. These are the settings that control if/when sims move in together or break up!

Auto-Relationship Settings

Breakup Settings: You can specify which sim will move out and who the children will live with. Couple relationship change percentage applies a modifier that will make a couple's relationship (dating, not married) increase or decrease over time. I increased mine to 20%. Same thing with spouse relationship change except I only did 10% there.

Move-in Settings: I allow homeless romance move in and kept the romance level to the default. (sweethearts) I also increased the romance move-in percent to 25%.

Bypass Played Household: It should go without saying, but just in case it's not clear, I always want my playable households bypassed because I want to maintain control over what happens to them. About this, I have other households that I don't actually play (in the Pierson save) that I have as playable just to preserve them and prevent anything from happening. So to be clear, unless a household is marked as played, they will be subjected to the random marriages, pregnancies, and relationships.

A few months ago, I FINALLY decided to mark Emmy and Ali as unplayed, hoping that Ali would find love again and that Emmy and Dwayne would move in together. Instead, Alessia got knocked up, and Dwayne put his foot down LOL. Sorry dude. Wish I could help! Well, I could just move her in, but it actually doesn't feel right for the story...but that's an entirely different conversation lol.

Anyhoo...I hope you found something in this novel that helps to spice up your game! Thanks for asking!

[nukaberries]

Fallout companions react to sole telling that they don't want to even lose them and then breakingdown. I need all the angst!

God, me too. As much as I say I hate angst, I'm definitely a sucker for it! This idea, especially, is super exciting for me since I feel like the Fallout 4 companions have a lot of opportunity for angst (I play through Nick's personal quest just to cry at the ending) Anyways, I hope you enjoy this one and it was worth the wait!

//

Companions React to Sole Breaking Down - TW: Mentions of Addiction and Suicide

(Includes: Cait, Codsworth, Curie, Danse, Deacon, Hancock, MacCready, Nick, Piper, Preston and X6-88)

Cait She isn't really sure what brought this on. Cait knows she isn't great at keeping herself safe or even having much concern for her own wellbeing, but she hadn't realised that upset Sole so much. Was it the chems? Maybe how she often charges head first into battle. Whatever it is, she admittedly feels guilty, not realising Sole cared so much about her. She isn't the best at comforting people, but she tries her best to make Sole feel better and reassure them that she isn't going anywhere. It may result in some awkward shoulder pats, but it's the thought that counts, right?

Codsworth It's probably not the first time that Codsworth has seen Sole break down. After all, he was the first living being they ran into after escaping the horrors of Vault 111. Still, this particular breakdown takes him by surprise, he didn't know he mattered that much to Sole. He's probably the best at comforting Sole, considering he knows them so well. Later on, he'll likely bring up how touched he is to know that he's important to Sole and promises he'll stand by them.

Curie She's extremely apologetic when she realises Sole's breaking down, at first thinking she'd done something wrong, before they explain that they can't stand to lose her. She understands where Sole is coming from, they're the most important person in her life and she doesn't want to begin to think what things would be like without them. She apologises if she ever scared them and reassures them that she's much more formidable than she seems

Paladin Danse He immediately panics when Sole starts to break down. Being in the Brotherhood, he's never known how to deal with his own emotions, let alone the emotions of someone else. He'll try his best to comfort Sole, but he definitely won't succeed. If he's still in the Brotherhood and him and Sole aren't extremely close - or romantically involved - he'll only insist that, due to his training, he's confident nothing bad will happen to him. However, if they're closer, Danse will go out of his way to make sure Sole knows they won't ever lose them, he loves Sole and he'd keep surviving so long as it made them happy.

Deacon He has no idea how to react at first. Sure, he'd been travelling with Sole for a while now, but he figured it was just out of convenience, since he was showing them the ropes in the Railroad. He'd figured his lying would've annoyed them by now and yeah, they were close, but he didn't know he mattered this much to them. He wants to crack a joke, but even he knows it's bad timing. Instead - because he understands how devastating loss can be, and he knows what Sole's been through - he actually does his best to comfort them, which he's actually good at, much to both his and Sole's surprise.

Hancock Like Cait, he initially thinks it's down to his reckless behaviour when it comes to chems and almost immediately promises you that he knows not to overdo it and if chems were going to kill them, they would've by now. He assures Sole that so long as he has them by his side, there's no way he plans on dying early, even though life hasn't exactly been kind to him in the past. Sole gives him a reason to keep going and he'd rather not ruin that.

MacCready Similarly to Deacon, he understands - maybe better than anyone - just how hard losing the person you love can be. The death of Lucy still haunts him, in spite of how much he cares for Sole, so he feels terrible that they share concerns he once had to suffer the aftermath of. He promises them over and over that they'll never lose him, no matter what happens. He even goes the extra mile and makes sure to be careful when they're outside the walls of a settlement, just to give Sole some peace of mind.

Nick Valentine He's better at comforting Sole than most, he knows a lot about their past and how they ended up in the Commonwealth, widowed and searching for their child. Besides, he's used to dealing with people breaking down in front of him - albeit, it's a little different since Sole means a lot to him. He knows he and Sole have grown close, so he understands completely why they'd be worried about losing another loved one. Nick will jokingly point out that if he's survived this long with only a few - a lot of - bumps and scratches, they have nothing to worry about. If Sole brings up their concerns again, he'll be more than happy to reassure them further.

Piper Wright She understands that with her line of work, she's a lot more likely to meet an untimely demise, but who doesn't die young these days? She's surprised she's made it this far with the amount of attempts on her life. She can stand seeing Sole cry though and instantly wraps them in a hug, telling them that as long as she's got them by her side, she'll be fine. Piper trusts Sole completely to protect her, just as she'd protect them. It breaks her heart to see them so torn up though and she almost feels guilty, deciding she'll find a way to make it up to them soon, even if she hasn't necessarily done anything wrong.

Preston Garvey As someone who often struggles with seeing the meaning in his own life, Preston is completely taken aback by Sole's worry towards his wellbeing. He instantly feels terrible for having any thoughts about taking his own life and apologises profusely to Sole, insisting that nothing bad will ever happen to them. He hasn't had an easy time recently, but having Sole by his side has helped more than he could've ever imagined and if they care about him enough to want him to keep fighting, then he will, without question.

X6-88 To nobody's surprise, X6 doesn't really know what to say or do. He simply clarifies that coursers were designed to be near enough formidable, so the likelihood of anything happening to him is extremely low. He does show some genuine concern, by asking if Sole would benefit from speaking to someone professionally, it's not enough to comfort Sole, but he's trying his best.