#It's mostly the way they (she? I think?) keep coming back after having supposedly left for good

[thedarkdisgrace]

Ok, follow up post to the original cause I wanted to actually offer my analysis/interpretation on this.

I feel like this is a right/left brain analogy 🧵

Dazai covering his right side, the side supposedly responsible for the emotional & artistic things. It says alot about his mindset, accurate for that time.

It’s intriguing, then, Kouyou covers the “logical” side

I feel like this lends to why Chuuya & Kouyou do get along well. While both Chuuya & Kouyou are no doubt very intelligent (Asagiri literally refers to Chuuya as a genius) they both still lean very much into their emotional side as well. Even if Kouyou seemingly does so less.

Kouyou reveals herself, however, not only in her care for Chuuya but we mainly see it how she handled the situation with Kyoka.

She could have insisted Kyoka come back without ever changing her mind but when Dazai presents her with a way to save Kyoka from dark, she agrees quickly.

Kouyou clearly cares & wanted to help & protect Kyoka even if she went about it poorly. She was trying to help based on her past experiences, lest we forget that she tried to leave the mafia herself once, for *love* no less. She also tends to get emotional when talking about her past or her wish to help Kyoka.

But once she was presented with another solution, a far better one, she didn’t do “what’s best for the mafia”. Kouyou agreed to what was best for Kyoka & that was definitely a more emotional choice.

This is an area where Chuuya & Kouyou align. So, of course they would get along.

Chuuya always seems to find the balance between his logic and emotion. However, he can easily & often does lean more into his emotional side first, then his logical side.

It’s similar for Kouyou, even if we don’t see it as much from her.

Back to Dazai then, when he left the mafia & the cover on Dazai’s “emotional side” was gone Dazai seemed to also move more towards that balancing of the two sides.

He started off heavily relying on his logical brain & struggled emotionally. Often feeling numb or apathetic mostly, hence his suicidal ideation.

Then he meets Chuuya & this shifts. Chuuya forces him to experience new feelings. As Chuuya is a living breathing example of most things Dazai felt the world lacked. It opened Dazai to the idea that there is more to the world, there is more to *people*. Chuuya intrigues Dazai enough to make him want to live a little longer again. Chuuya gave him a reason to keep going, a promise of more.

From the moment he met Chuuya, it was a process of letting more & more emotions seep into his mind & his heart. We see how he feared for Chuuya in 15 even after they just met, even though Dazai *knew* it was a plan.

I might even venture to go as far as to say Dazai may not have feared for someone else’s life that hard before. It was a burst of unrecognizable emotions to him. After this, he only had more & more emotion seep in as the years went by. In Storm Bringer he was ready to sacrifice the city to give Chuuya a choice.

That relationship opened Dazai up to others later, namely Oda & Ango. Which only further encouraged the intermingling of his logical brain and his emotions. Then reaching the point at which the bandages were finally removed entirely and then he, like Chuuya, moved to striving to find the balance rather than relying on one side.

Bringing us back to current Dazai as he is still attempting to find that balance.

He still leans more towards his logical side. This, of course, in contrast to Chuuya who, while intelligent, more easily leans into the emotional.

Yet another thing between them that completes & balances each other. Soukoku will always pull the other back when drifting too far.

So, of course, Soukoku complement each other & it benefits them both.

Having Kouyou on Chuuya’s other side I think also does help Chuuya stay grounded while in the mafia. Chuuya isn’t one to lose who he is but I think having someone else who he knows *cares* like he does helps.

Now, additionally, if we apply this to Beast, I think this also says alot about beast Dazai & why Asagiri says beastzai would be the hardest for someone to portray.

Because *this* Dazai, is perhaps *too* far into his emotional side. He’s always intelligent but in beast, his actions aren’t fully logical, they’re emotional.

He appears cold & calculating as always but he saw another version of himself suffer the great loss of a best friend & allowed his emotional desire to prevent that from happening take control. Thus, his emotional side takes over, thus him covering the opposite side from canon Dazai, he’s covering his “logical” side.

I feel like this is the main difference between all the various Dazai we’ve seen.

PM Dazai relied heavily on his logical side, especially before meeting Chuuya. He rarely took emotion into account unless it involved the 3 people he actually cared for. We see him make emotional choices when it involves Chuuya, Oda, and Ango. Dazai did seem to let more and more emotion seep in over time as a result of knowing them, however, leading to that moment the bandages are removed.

Beastzai is leaning far too heavily into his emotional side, getting lost in it even. Acting solely on an emotional desire rather than a logical one. His desire to prevent a tragedy. He only was using his intellect to further that emotional desire.

Canonzai went through a steady progression, meeting Chuuya starts to open him up, this extending over time to Oda & Ango, leading to the cover on his “emotional” side being taken off.

But beastzai skipped all of that, all the *progression* to that point for canonzai & so beastzai just got all these intense emotions he never experienced before all at once when he saw canonzai’s memories & therefore he sunk far too deep, too quickly into his emotions.

Now current/ADA Dazai is the balance of the two extremes, and seemingly the closest to happiness.

ADA Dazai uses his logical brain as always but he also actually takes emotion into account as well and has more people he actually cares for now.

I think that says alot to the theme of bsd, leaning into that “everything is grey” dynamic. Everything is about the *balance* of things. Showcasing that anything in extremes in either direction doesn’t work.

Anyway, just some thoughts I had and interpretations of mine. Take them as you want, as always.

Oh and just to be clear, I don’t think Dazai was ever “emotionless”, even at his worse. Even if he was numb and apathetic. He was also lonely.

Just saying the more people he came to care about (Chuuya, Oda, Ango then later the ADA) the more he was able to feel a variety of emotion.

My original post:

[clockwayswrites]

Rumors of a Prince

“You could always ask Jason to pay her a visit,” Dick said from where he was lounging, mostly upside down, on the couch in Bruce’s study.

Bruce frowned at him. “I am not going to have Jason kill Vickie Vale.”

“Hey, you’re the one who said kill!” Dick held his hands up or, rather, given his position, down. “I just meant puts some fear into her. Maybe kidnap her for a few days so that she can’t write any more libel.”

Bruce found himself smiling, slightly and against his better judgment. It faded away when he looked back at his laptop. “At least in this case, it wouldn’t do much good. The stories is already out there and, unfortunately, Vale’s take on it has captured the public’s attention.”

“Tim knows I bet… and Babs.”

“Undoubtedly by now.”

“And if those two know, Steph knows. If Steph knows, she’s ranted to Cass.”

“Yes.” This family was impossible to keep things secret in.

“Welp,” Dick said and swung himself to be sitting up normally— or as normally as Dick ever sat. “Then I guess we better tell the others. How do you want to divide this?”

Bruce was grateful that Dick was willing to be his partner in this. “You would be best to take Jason. I’ll speak with Damian. Either of us can catch Duke when he returns from his patrol.”

Dick nodded. “And Tom?”

“I think perhaps it would be best to have as much of the family in the manor as possible,” Bruce said after a moment. “If he destabilizes, I want him to know that we are around and that he is still safe.”

“Alright.” Dick slapped his knees once and stood. “I’ll drag Jason back then. You know he’ll come if it’s for Tom.”

“Make sure he reads the article before he comes over.”

Dick grimaced. “Yeah. Yeah, that would be best. I’m going to bring some food too over with me. Good luck convincing Dami that he can’t go and stab Vickie Vale.”

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. “Right. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Dick chirped as he left for his task.

Bruce dropped his hand.

‘Gotham’s Pale Prince’ stared back at him from the screen.

-

“Seriously?!” Jason burst in through the kitchen door. “Have you read this swill?”

“Yes chum, of course I have,” Bruce said. He shot Dick, who trailing behind Jason’s fury, a look. Dick was supposed to get Jason to read the article before coming over.

Dick just shrugged helplessly and motioned in a way that conveyed Jason had read it and was still clearly quite upset.

“One of the biggest questions is,” Jason said, clearly reading now from the article with the air of Bristol accent he had put on, “perhaps, why the newest Wayne is not in school. Bruce has proven himself to be a champion of the educational system. This is despite the man himself being a college drop out’ like what the fuck?”

“To be fair, I am,” Bruce said.

Jason rolled his eyes and continued. “His oldest ward’— Dick is fucking adopted now, bitch!”

“Boo!” Steph echoed and tossed popcorn at the tablet Jason was holding.

(Bruce was neither sure when Stephanie had arrived nor where she got the popcorn.)

“Never going to college,” Jason said with a jab of his free hand, “and the second oldest never completing high school.’ I was dead you narrow minded shew!”

“Well, I mean, all she knows is that you were supposedly kidnapped by terrorists and tortured for years,” Dick said. He had moved over to help himself to Stephanie’s popcorn and paused raising the next handful to his face. “Okay, no, that’s actually worse.”

“And you are clear on your line that I cannot stab this woman for the dishonor she implies about the family?” Damian asked, again, as he joined them in the kitchen.

“Unfortunately we have to handle this the proper way, with a press conference,” Bruce said. Stabbing was looking increasingly appealing though.

Jason dropped into one of the open chairs. “I’d call it a battle of the wits, but I don’t think Vale has any left with this trash she’s writing!”

“Alright,” Tim said as he entered the kitchen with almost as much fury as Jason, just more contained. Cass followed in his wake. “I am sure that B has already run through no killing, no stabbing, no maiming, no poisoning—”

“No poisoning Vickie Vale,” Bruce said, feeling so tired.

“Way to go, Timbit, now we can’t poison her,” Jason groused.

Tim sighed, “Fair, I shouldn’t have assumed. I really thought someone else would have brought it up already.”

“People went for more bloody options,” Dick explained.

“Also fair,” Tim said, pointing at him. “Anyways, since we can’t do all that, can I ruin her reputation?”

“Tim,” Bruce sighed.

“Now come on old man, let’s here Timtam out,” Jason said, holding out his arm. “You said yourself we had to handle the proper way and I’m sure that our little socialite here knows just how to ruin her through something like a press conference.”

“You I can stab,” Tim said with a shark sharp smile towards Jason.

Jason returned it with a smile like broken glass. “You can try.”

“Oh, if you keep calling me a socialite I will try and I will manage.”

“Boys, please.”

“Are people threatening blood and violence again?”

Every head in the room swiveled towards the door to the hall.

Tom almost recoiled at the sudden attention of all of the family, taking a half step back and looking a little wide eyed.

Cass walked forward and wrapped her arm around Tom’s. “Tim is. To Jason.”

It took a moment for Tom to tear his eyes away from the family to look at his sister. “Of course. What’s… it about this time?”

“Jason is reminding Tim that he’s a rich society brat and Tim hates to be reminded about that even though it’s true because Tim is also a little freak and the upper crust would be applaud if they knew even a fraction of it,” Steph said before she stuffed his mouth full of more popcorn.

Everyone in the room paused for a moment.

“No, yep, I think that’s pretty much spot on,” Dick said. He wasn’t even pretending not to laugh.

The laughter was infectious and almost everyone was either snickering or outright laughing. Bruce even quirked up a little smile. Tom still looked mostly confused but at least less nervous.

“Come sit by me, little shadow,” Dick said with a smile.

When Thomas settled next to Dick, who immediately wrapped an arm around him, the room settled again into that slightly somber mood.

“What is going on?” Tom asked, voice small. There were times when he still seemed unsure if he could be a presence in a room or consternation. It was something that they were still working on as a family.

Bruce sighed. “A reporter found out about you and wrote an article with mostly speculation. Unfortunately, because of who I am in the city and my existing tendency to adopt, it’s getting attention.”

Tom chewed on his lip and Bruce just hoped he wouldn’t worry it so much it bled. “Bad?”

“Not bad towards you, but unkind. She made a lot of guesses and fact reasons about why the public hasn’t seen you,” Bruce explained.

“Oh. Am I…?”

The dropping of words wasn’t the best sign. Dick pulled Tom into his lap.

“No. Most of the children didn’t attend the press conference announcing them and you don’t have to either. But I will need to make one simply to clear up some of rumors. I wont say anything that you don’t want me to say.”

“Bruce and I can plan it out,” Tim said, “and then run it by you if you want to look over it.”

“Can… will… if anyone wants to help…”

“Of course!” Dick said cheerfully. “We can make a lunch of it or something. It will be the best press conference yet.”

“Yeah. And you don’t even have to watch it,” Jason said. “We’ll plan something fun for that day. The old man can go and do the hard work and we’ll enjoy ourselves.”

“Thank you, Jason,” Bruce said dryly, pretending he wasn’t warmed still whenever Jason refereed to him as anything approaching father.

“It’s what you deserve,” Jason said and tossed his tablet, cleared of the article, on the table. “Come on, let’s plan what we’re going to do.”

“The zoo is always enjoyable,” Damian said.

“You always say zoo,” Cass pointed out as she perched next to Jason.

“What about the park?” Steph suggested. She joined the others at the table and passed around her popcorn.

“Nah, Ivy has a new variety of tulips. I’m worried some of them might turn man eating again,” Dick said.

“We could head out of Gotham I guess,” Jason pointed out and pulled up the map.

Bruce slipped quietly out of the room with Tim on his heels.

“You can stay with them and help them plan,” Bruce offered. Tim was always too grownup, had been since before he came to Bruce.

Tim just shook his head. “I’m never the best distraction. I’ll be more use to you. Besides, I have some plans to run by you that doesn’t need the blood thirsty contingency hearing about.”

“Of course you do,” Bruce said with both a sigh and a smile.

“Nothing physical,” Tim defended himself. “I can ruin her legally.”

“That I have no doubt of.”

No matter what, Bruce had absolutely no doubt that the family would be there for Tom. They were a family, after all.

---

AN: Vickie Vale won't know what hit her. Esp after what she wrote.

Don't know if this will become a full sequel or not, but it was fun to revisit this universe and see how they've progressed!

[bansept]

Until I see you again

I... didn't mean to write this??? I was about to rant about Ichigo leaving to the UK and leaving Orihime sad behind, but then it started to look like a small writing thing. So, have at it, hahahahaha

--------------------------------------------------

She's not supposed to cry. She promised him.

Orihime sniffs back the wave of fresh tears ready to breach her resolve, the hand holding onto the plastic bag - which contains the only gift Ichigo agrees to take with him, namely some fresh bread from her bakery - clenching valiantly. Her gloved hands hold on tight, a small lifeline that keeps her from gathering him in her arms and anchoring herself on the ground. Maybe if she turned into a solid bloc of pure metal, she'd be able to keep him well-settled on the ground, and he wouldn't have to take that stupid plane.

She doesn't want to be selfish, and oh well, she knows she won't be. He discreetly rubs her back, the touch reassuring, and somehow that barely helps her greed win the fight.

Ichigo, mostly free of his Hollow-hunting duties, will leave for the UK, right in London, in 4 hours, as a continuation of his studies to become a translator.

It's not really a surprise to anyone who's known him: in classes, he was among the best in English, discussing Shakespeare and his influence and overall works. He'd help her with tests, training her with the spelling, although it flew right at the top of her head at the time ; it took a lot out of her to not blush to death.

And now, here he is, all handsome and adult, right on his way to graduate in a couple of months, but leaving for a foreign land she knows scrap about (except they drink tea and have a monarchy), and he will be gone forever.

She sighs, pouting to herself. Not... forever forever. But 4 months feels like an eternity already.

Ichigo looks from left to right, checking for his luggage while Yuzu fusses about the importance of being early at the boarding gate. Karin elbows Isshin, whose expression is a mix of pride and terrible doom. Orihime heard him mumble things to Ichigo while on the way here, which of course only left Ichigo pissed at his father.

The young man already said goodbye to their friends earlier, back in Karakura. Chad is busy at the Gonzalez gym, his boss not giving him much regard when it comes to breaks, while Uryu is buried under thick layers of medical books and studies. He might not become a surgeon like his father, but he's definitely not lacking work while studying the pediatric field.

Renji and Rukia came earlier in the week. With the recent announcement of Rukia's pregnancy, which was a whole event on itself and brought EVERYONE to tears (no matter what Uryu and Ichigo say) and the incessant work the Soul Society keeps throwing at them, it was very kind of them to travel back to the World of the Living to bid their goodbye.

Which leaves her. Sure she could come by as just the friend who's available to come and see him off, a smile on her face as he waves, flying away like a bird to foreign lands.

Except she's no longer just a friend.

After the war, they spent time with each other. Just them, just the simple reading sessions in his room or at her place. Just the bickering about the bread he supposedly dislikes but engulfs greedily. She was invited plenty of time, gradually, to their home, the warmth of the Kurosaki smiles around her, cautiously tasting her meals before genuinely digging into them. Spending time with the twins, as both of them stared at her with wonder, some kind of urge to be understood as young women. Orihime remembers fondly the moment Karin, quiet, distant and cranky, asked her for help. Nothing overly major, but in that single moment, she wasn't just a friend anymore.

She wasn't simply a buddy either when Ichigo asked for more of her time, which she willingly gave.

Were they dates? Going to a coffee place, or the cinema, or on missions just the two of them? A part of her rapidly thinks it's the way for Ichigo to enjoy some peace and quiet without being alone, while the confident and hopelessly in love part of her rebukes the idea of convenience: it's to spend time with her. And only her.

And so they did, they hung out, discussed, laughed, visited places together. He confided in her, some of his fear, and she leaned against him while muttering about her past, what her brother had told her, very long ago.

Ichigo had shown nothing but tenderness towards her, and the cherry on top was his first hug, the day they'd visited his mother's grave.

She flushes at the memory. Oh, no, they weren't dating... Were they?

Ichigo turns to her after hugging his little sisters, a small smile on his face. He's wearing a thick gray coat lined with fur, the only protection he has against the frigid cold from England he's supposed to have once arrived. His hair has been trimmed one last time by a tearful Yuzu, the short strand on top of his head still somehow foreign after a few months. But who is she kidding, Ichigo looks even more handsome that way.

"Are you alright, Orihime?" His voice is smooth, laced with held-back worry.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine." She sniffs again, and she swears she means it. Her heart is aching for him to stay and never ever leave without her for so long, but she can't be that kind of horrible person. Suggesting he misses this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity out of selfishness is out of the question. "You sure you have everything?"

It's one of those phrases everyone asks. He's packed his 2 suitcases over the last month, he's pondered over it for longer than that, his sisters helped him out, his father checked with him and Orihime helped retrieve one last tube of toothpaste, because he has a specific brand he likes and that's one of the many things she's discovered about him that make her melt.

"Yeah, I think I got what's necessary." He grins nonetheless, pulling at the grip of the dark blue suitcase by his feet.

Orihime nods at him, hiding her reddening nose in her coat. It rained a lot this morning. Ichigo comes closer to her, his wide frame hiding her from the rest of his family, some kind of intimacy for them both. He has a small blush on his face when he picks up one of her hands.

"Hey... You promised not to cry."

"I'm not... just the blue men tickling at my eyes." She pouts, letting her hand rest in his bigger, safe and warm one.

Ichigo only raises his eyebrows with a knowing smile, her antics gliding over him naturally now.

"I'll send messages." He speaks, and his tone is breaking a little, because she knows it hurts him too.

Orihime can only nod, although her eyes waver with the silent "please do" plea. She gently holds him tighter, and with a tight smile, Ichigo decides to lean closer, hugging her against him. The warmth invades her, both her body and mind, turning all residual sadness and anxiousness into a mushy pile of love for this man, like pillows of marshmallows. He smells of home, of courage. Of the books he studied, of the iron of his sword, of the gentle dandelion in the wind. His arms, although completely engulfed by the coat, are molted steel bars, circling her while remaining strong. His head is leaning against hers, resting atop her scalp, and in the small instance it took for him to embrace her, Orihime's doubts and fear all but flush away.

A part of her wonders how his family reacts to this evident display of affection, one she herself is almost foreign to. But it doesn't matter.

He pulls away, gently, face red mirroring hers.

Hours later, his plane flies away, and Orihime clenches her phone, the small pastry charm attached to her phone case, a small gift from him, rocks gently against her palm.

[evanvison]

Mystreet season 7 ideas

I was recently thinking about the upcoming season of Mystreet and decided to come up with ideas or hopes for some of the characters and their stories.

I may do a few of these, but for this post, I wanted to discuss one character whose development I originally didn't think much of. After thinking about it for a bit I realized that this character had far more potential in the upcoming season than I had originally thought.

That character is Dante!

When it comes to Mystreet, Dante doesn't have a whole lot going on. He is a good friend in the group and is currently roommates with Travis. Other personality aspects can be narrowed down to flirtatious and silly. His biggest moments were mostly in season 2 and some fun moments in season 3.

I sat down recently and thought long and hard about what kind of potential dynamics and character moments everyone in the cast would have during season 7 and Dante surprised me with all the different dynamics that could not only give his character far more development, but a few others that I had trouble with as well.

I will break these dynamics down into groups. Mostly in order of how important these moments would be for his character and the plot.

4. Starting with the obvious, Laurence! Laurence and Dante are the only two characters in the main group that have been entirely left out of the overarching plot of seasons 4-6. We don't know for sure how much information they have regarding what the Starlight gang has gone through. What information was made public by the news? Let's assume they know at most, that the Ultima exists, went crazy, and was supposedly "killed". We have to also assume that neither of them knows that the Lodge crew was at Starlight, or they figured it out from how long they were gone (less likely)? They know Travis and Katelyn were there but that may be it.

When the rest of the gang all come home together, without Travis and Aphmau, I have to imagine that unless the gang explains what happened immediately, a good chunk of the season could be Laurence and Dante trying to figure out what happened. Obviously, they can't hide much this time. Zane can only say names as numbers, Aaron is damaged and has no memories, Lucinda has no magic, Garroth is a werewolf (there is no way he will keep that hidden for long), and finally... Aph and Travis are still not back! Good luck trying to keep Laurence and Dante from asking questions when they can figure all that out pretty easily.

I can imagine some scenes in the first few episodes where the two are working together to go around detective style, to try and gather up all the clues so they can piece some stories together, even if everyone tries to leave some parts out. Either way, finally bringing these two into the "in-the-know group" should be a good character moment for at least a few people.

3. Kawaii~Chan & Zane. This one is the least likely (probably) but I liked the idea so I am talking about it. One thing that Dante is known for in Mystreet is that he is a flirt and has trouble staying with the girls he dates. In some of the videos outside of the "main canon content" we see skits where Dante is in love with KC and actively tries to steal her away from Zane. I don't know how canon these silly skit ideas are and they may have no relevance to the season at all but Jess wrote them and they connect to Dante in key character ways, so I'm using it! Assuming Dante does have a lingering crush on KC since dating her in the past, I could him talking to her more this season only to realize that Zane is dating her now. This could lead to him either becoming jealous (like the skits) or using this moment to realize that Zane has grown and become a man worthy of dating KC. This could give Dante a growth moment where he could then realize how happy KC is and step back to maybe think about becoming the kind of guy that could keep a girlfriend too.

I could see a cute conversation between him and KC where she gives him a pep talk about growing with someone when you truly love them (it could be so cute).

2. Aaron. Something that we as a fandom don't talk enough about is Dante and Aaron and their surprising friendship. These two are actually far closer than we tend to give credit for. Dante literally was the one who helped Aaron get the ticket situation for Starlight and the proposal set up. Imagine that everyone comes back except Travis (& Aph but for this let's focus on Travis) and Dante is already missing him like crazy then he sees all his friends hurt, and then he sees one of his friends who looks like he really shouldn't be alive AND he says he doesn't REMEMBER YOU! I would lose it. I want to see Dante with little else to do, so he decides to try and help bring back or at least assist with getting Aaron's memories back. It would be a massive character moment and would slowly help him mold into the Dante we know from Diaries.

Diaries Dante is known for being loyal as all get out. He is a protector of the village, he waited 15 years for his friends to return home, even when everyone else had left. He went through a lot and matured because of it.

Mystreet Dante is also loyal, we don't see it that much, but he is (which is why I don't like the idea of him trying to steal KC from Zane). He loves his friends so much. He is sort of going through a similar moment to Diaries Dante by having the Aph group leave without knowing what is going on or why they are gone and having to wait patiently for their return. Then they all come back (mostly) and they are damaged and broken returning to a very empty town. A place Dante has been waiting in for a while. This season could bring Dante and his arch full circle and show that his Diaries counterpart isn't all that different after all.

1. The final one. Katelyn... Now I know this one seems odd as number one, but Travis is still in the hospital for now so until he returns home with Aph, I can't count him but this Katelyn one is also a Travis-related one so... Anyways, I assume at some point Katelyn will have to explain what happened with Travis (whether it's fully truthful or not is a debate). A moment that I feel could be a game changer is if Katelyn asks Dante what Travis was like before high school. We don't talk enough about how Dante and Travis have been friends since before high school. He may know some things about Travis and his family before we meet him in the story that could be insightful. Imagine with me if you will, an entire back-and-forth conversation between Katelyn and Dante where they discuss Travis, his past, and what went down with him on Starlight. That could tell us a lot about Travis that we might not have known before. It also would be cute if Dante told Katelyn how much Travis has changed because he loves her.

I just wanted to share these because if I don't I'll lose it. I hope Dante gets the character moments he deserves in the new season. until then I want any other Dante season 7 stuff you can think of to be commented! I wanna hear them! Also enjoy this very quick sketch of Dante I did.

Anyway, have a good day/night everyone! More season 7 character ideas to come so look out for them!

[undead-moth]

Okay so now I can't stop thinking about this post and so I plotted out my ideal version of The Old Guard 2. It's long and insane, but so much better (tell me I'm wrong):

The scene begins with the words "Six months earlier" on the screen. Quynh is slamming against the inside of the iron maiden with her few minutes of consciousness. This time, the Iron Maiden breaks (it's rusted over the years under the water, and that's how it breaks). Quynh resurfaces, gasping, in the middle of the ocean. Nearby boaters spot her and rescue her. Through a series of short scenes, we see her ditch the boaters at the first opportunity, walk around wherever she is - we see her witness how much has changed in the way of technology, and clothing, and an idea of how she feels about all that - and find food and fresh water, steal clothing, and start trying to communicate with people - wherever she's resurfaced, she speaks the language (no dealing with the plot hole of how she can speak modern English so perfectly, since the first movie didn't tackle that either). We see her dream of Booker, and see her figure out where he is, and the scene ends with the implication that she's leaving to find him.

Cut to the rest of The Guard in the present, doing a mission. This is just an ordinary mission that they successfully finish (I would like to see them doing the shit they supposedly do for once). Could go basically the same way the movie does, but without finding out that the guy they got wasn't the guy and actually they're after some woman Nile's dreamed about. Nope. Not happening in this movie. Quynh's the only big bad in this movie.

The Guard is celebrating a successful mission. The drinking scene can stay mostly the same. We get Andy saying she's really happy. We get Joe texting, and Nicky wondering what's up.

Next scene keeps more or less in line with the movie, and we get Joe asking for "alone time," Nicky and Nile following, the fight, and the realization Booker isn't there. However, one crucial change is that Joe would give a more convincing reason for his change of heart than “We abandoned him.” I personally like the reasons I suggested in this post. I would also like Joe or Nicky to say something that confirms my headcanon (written in the same post), which is that before Joe resorted to lying, he did try to talk about this with Nicky several times but couldn’t come to a resolution.

Cut to where Booker actually is – kidnapped by Quynh, who is now asking about Andy, just like she did in the movie, and the realization Andy left her behind and that Booker is exiled. Booker doesn't tell her about Andy losing her immortality, just like he didn't in the movie (which you can attribute to him knowing Andy wouldn't want him to, or to him being kind of thoughtless and dumb, either works). Booker tells her he doesn't know where the guard is because he's exiled, but that he might be able to meet Joe.

Back at whatever house the Guard were in in this movie, Joe and Nicky are still arguing. We see more of their argument. Learn more about both of their sides of the argument, and any info about previous arguments or how Joe came to decide to meet Booker, or how many times he’d seen him, etc. They're interrupted by Booker contacting Joe persistently enough that even Nicky is kind of like "What's going on?" At this same moment Nile steps out of another room and says she just had a dream about Quynh - on land.

They meet Booker at the bench just like in the movie, bring him back to the house, and he gives Andy the same scroll she gets from Quynh in the actual movie. We also get Booker facing Joe and Nicky for the first time, and probably having basically the same, "Are you still doing the silent treatment thing?" conversation lmao. But we see Booker and Nile too and get an idea of how Nile feels about his return, and the news that Quynh is back.

Andy leaves to meet Quynh. She doesn't allow Nile to come. Firstly, because Nile won't be needed for plot reasons now that Discord isn't a thing, but secondly because this version isn't going to contradict Andy's character development in the first - if it's her time, it's her time. I think I would like some acknowledgment from Andy here that if anyone has the right to kill her, it's Quynh, or if she's going to let anyone kill her, it's Quynh, or something like that.

Andy arrives where she can find Quynh but hesitates just before turning the corner where Quynh will come into view. Here, she reminisces on her relationship with Quynh, and we get a flashback from before Quynh was taken, but this time, it's a flashback of seeing her and Quynh happily in love. Maybe we even get a sequence of short scenes showing them across time, happy and facing hard times together and in love in love in love.

Back at the house, Nile asks about Andy and Quynh again. She wants to know more than "For a long time it was just them," or whatever. She wants to know if Quynh might actually hurt Andy too, and Nicky and Joe describe what Andy and Quynh meant to each other, and share thoughts on Quynh's return, including what Quynh might do now that she knows they abandoned her. There is a consensus that they wouldn't be surprised, or something along those lines (Especially since in the first movie Joe called her a "pit viper" and Nicky said something like "500 hundred years under water would drive anyone insane."). Maybe Booker is even part of this conversation, because Nile would probably ask him if Quynh said anything to him, or what his impression of her was. I also think I would like Booker saying that he stopped telling Andy decades ago whenever he dream about Quynh because of how it affected Andy. this would confirm that Booker dreamed about her in the first movie too, but unlike Nile at that time, new better than to mention it.

Back to Andy, we see her and Quynh talking, just like in the movie. They fight, just like in the movie. Quynh curses Andy, just like in the movie.

At the house, we see Joe and Nicky continuing their argument and maybe they're getting closer to a resolution or understanding. I think I'd also like a one-on-one scene with Booker and Nile again. Booker can share with her what he's been doing the last six months. Nile can do the same. I think I'd like it if it's Booker's assumption that Nile must be really struggling with her newfound immortality, and him being surprised to learn she's not. I think I would like to see her say something that imparts some wisdom on Booker and makes him think. That could be many things, but I think her saying something about how she thought about what he said, about how she's "going to lose everyone she's ever loved" and her saying something along the lines of "You lose everyone you ever loved anyway" (you know, because of her dad. She lost him before she was immortal. It's not like being mortal saves you from losing people) and maybe her saying "the only difference is you end up loving a lot more people." Or maybe she says she's not going to lose any more people she loves than she would have, because who she loves/is going to spend her life with is the Guard, and they're not going to permanently die every hundred odd years like mortal loved ones. Anyway, whatever it is, it gives him something to think about.

Andy tries to follow Quynh, but just like in the movie, she escapes, and so Andy has to return to the house where the others are waiting for her and want to know what happened. I would like Andy to be a lot more visibly devastated by the whole thing, and for her to tell the others that Quynh isn't coming back.

A time skip. Maybe another six months. Maybe a year. The Guard actually has "never seen Andy like this before" and it's not Nile who makes this observation, since Nile hasn't known Andy long enough to have any idea what would constitute "like this." I want Andy to be getting crazy drunk during the days, going off on her own and being reckless the way she’s used to being, and the guard telling her she can’t do shit like that anymore now that she’s mortal, and her literally not caring because Quynh hates her and she hates herself. When she’s not being drunk and restless, I want her in bed, in the dark, barely remembering to eat. I want the members of the guard, individually or together, trying to pull her out of it, and not being able to. I think Booker could still be there with the excuse that he’s worried about Andy too, and wants to be there in the event something happens to her/wants to help watch after her, and Joe and Nicky not really having the energy or presence of mind to deal with caring one way about it or another. This would be another opportunity to see them together as a group, loving and caring about one another, despite their circumstances. Also an opportunity to see Nile belonging as part of this group now, and how she fits into it.

I think it would be necessary for someone, and would like Nile to be the one, to try to convince Andy to contact Quynh again. I think she would try to tell Andy firstly to tell Quynh she thought Quynh was dead, and secondly that she's immortal. I like Nile for this firstly because I want Nile to feel like a prominent character in this movie just like the first, but secondly because I think the others would know better than to try to tell Andy to do this, and thirdly, because Nile is kind of naïve. She’s optimistic, and thinks the best of people, and even in the first movie she wanted to let Booker off with an apology – I can see her being like, "You thought she was dead, that's not your fault," and Andy saying that she still stopped searching before she ever thought that. Then I can see Nile pivoting to, “Well, why don’t you just tell her you lost your immortality? If she knew that, maybe she’d talk to you again, and maybe you guys could make up.” Then I want Andy saying that she doesn’t want to tell this to Quynh because Quynh has a right to her rage and telling her that she’s lost her immortality would take that from her and she thinks Quynh has a right to want to punish her for what she did.

Copley is also there, putting some pressure on them or is at least there to remind them, like, hey, you guys are supposed to be doing jobs, and while this is happening bad shit is happening elsewhere. I think he could even be used to foreshadow what Quynh is planning, but in a way that doesn’t reveal it’s Quynh’s doing.

Back to Quynh. We see her somewhere far off, putting a plan in motion. We don't know the details, but we see the means by which she's making it happen, and we know that she's readying to get her revenge on Joe, Nicky and especially Andy.

Finally – after some time (they've all still been at the house the whole time Andy has been being reckless and grieving Quynh leaving her - long enough that they're living semi-ordinary days at the house), Joe and Nicky go somewhere without Andy, Nile and Booker. It's an errand of some kind that needs to be run. Well, Quynh gets them. She takes Joe and Nicky hostage, and in some way or another ensures that Copley or the rest of the guard find out that she’s taken them hostage. She tells Andy that she intends to make them suffer the way Andy let her suffer.

This is enough to snap Andy out of it. She can’t let Joe and Nicky be tortured endlessly by Quynh, obviously. Nile is immediately game to go too. Booker decides to go as well because Andy is mortal and because he cares about Joe and Nicky obviously, and Andy isn’t as dedicated to making it clear to Booker she’s still mad at him – possibly at this point is beyond caring about anything else but Quynh to even be mad at him anymore – so she's fine with him going too. They all leave to save Joe and Nicky.

Cut to Joe and Nicky about to be locked up or tortured in some way. Quynh is talking to them, expressing her rage with them and Andy and we get to really see her be fucking enraged.

Booker, Nile and Andy arrive to save Joe and Nicky. Turns out that what Quynh has been doing the last six months/year/however long since she cursed Andy was gathering henchmen and setting up this torture situation. They kill bad guys cause it’s an action movie, you know how it goes. But Quynh is ready for them, this was all part of her plan when using Joe and Nicky as bait, and now she captures who she was really after: Andy. She captures Andy in some way that separates her from Booker and Nile.

Booker and Nile split up because now they have three people to rescue, and don’t know where any of them are. Booker goes to find Joe and Nicky and Nile goes to find Andy.

Quynh confronts Andy as she’s setting up a situation to torture Andy in some way forever. (I kind of like the idea of it still being at a nuclear facility because nuclear radiation is possibly the most extremely painful way to die there is - but it is also one that doesn't set in immediately. Someone can be exposed to even severe, lethal doses of radiation for up to an hour before it kills them. They'll suffer the whole time, but for plot reasons, it's good it's neither immediate nor reversable.) But if not that, it’s something. She’s set up something that Andy can’t escape from and that can torture her indefinitely. Anyway, Andy is not even trying to escape. She is too caught up in the fact that she is with Quynh again, and she can see the toll her betrayal has taken on Quynh, and she’s worried about Quynh and also hating herself. Quynh is expressing her rage to Andy now, and it is even more personal, and intimate and gut-wrenching than her rage was with Joe and Nicky. Andy is trying to talk to her, trying to apologize, trying to share the immensity of her regret – one thing she is not doing is telling Quynh that she is mortal or that she thought Quynh was dead. She is still determined not to use that to manipulate Quynh – and in any case, at this point, she thinks this is the fate she deserves. She thinks, really, this is the death she’s earned, the death that is right for her after what she did. All she cares about in this moment is conveying how sorry she is to Quynh, and how much she still, no matter what, loves Quynh, before she dies. She loves Quynh even as Quynh is readying to torture her for centuries. Quynh is only further hurt by this – how can she say that? How can Andy claim she loves Quynh when she did what she did? She initiates the torture machine, and we see Andy being exposed to the radiation/whatever the torture machine does, or maybe being put into a more inescapable position to be tortured if not being tortured yet.

Booker saves Joe and Nicky, which gives Nicky something to think about – it’s not enough for him to forgive Booker yet, but he and Booker have an exchange, a meaningful moment of some kind - the audience will be expected to connect that Booker is the one saving them this time, he still even after they intended to exile him, is there for them the moment they need him, something something - and it’s evident that something has shifted slightly in Nicky as they rush to help Nile save Andy.

Nile finds Quynh and Andy moments after the torture situation has started/been put in position to start. She tries to convince Quynh to stop in a bunch of different ways. We get both Nile and Quynh sharing their personal philosophies on forgiveness, and how that forgiveness relates to their immortality. Nile is as hopelessly idealistic and open-hearted as she normally is, and what she says expands on what she says to Booker earlier in the movie. Joe, Nicky and Booker all arrive just in time to hear this speech of Nile’s, and are listening/overhearing as they begin trying to figure out how to free Andy – maybe there’s a thing they gotta smash, a wire they gotta cut, a thing they gotta shut down, whatever. That’s what they’re doing – but they’re there to hear Nile. Nile realizes they’re there, but Quynh doesn’t, and part of the reason Nile makes her speech as long as she does is to buy time for Joe, Nicky and Booker, and to distract Quynh.

Quynh listens – and there’s a moment the viewer sees her considering, even is led to believe that maybe Nile got through to her, but Nile didn’t. Quynh is as determined as ever and does some thing or another to make the torture of Andy more final – presses a thing or maybe closes her in or something. Whatever would work for the setting. Just something to indicate that even after what Nile said, she’s still not backing down. The torture commences.

Finally, Nile uses her last resort, because Joe, Nicky and Booker are still struggling to stop the torture machine. She tells Quynh that Andy lost her immortality.

At first, Quynh doesn’t believe her. Says she’s lying. But then Joe, Nicky and Booker all decide to join Nile in trying to convince her, because what they were trying to do isn’t working. They all say their piece to convince Quynh that Andy lost her immortality – maybe they can even say something that will Make Quynh realize they’re right factually, not just that they’ll believe her. This would have to be something Quynh could visibly have noticed – a scar, maybe, that she got during the year she was being drunk and reckless, or maybe they can argue that surely, she must have noticed that the way Andy fought was different, or something. In any case, one way or another, Quynh believes them/realizes they’re right, and she is completely shellshocked by the horror of what she has done, and she immediately shuts it down, trying to save Andy. She releases Andy from the radiation chamber/torture thing of some kind.

But as Quynh holds Andy in her arms, she realizes it’s too late. Andy is going to die. She holds Andy, and cries, and begs Andy to hold on – then she brings up Andy’s promise. She makes it clear that she forgives Andy, or will forgive her if she lives, and that she just wants to be with Andy forever like they once planned to be.

Andy dies. We witness everyone's grief.

And then, for no reason that anyone can explain in that moment, Andy comes back. She’s regained her immortality. Now, and only now, has the narrative earned a kiss between Quynh and Andy. They kiss and the guard is overjoyed Andy is alive.

The guard are back at the house. We see Andy and Quynh together, happy, and being tender again in some way. Maybe Andy wakes up to see Quynh getting dressed in a room they're sharing, and we get the same moment of Quynh telling Andy there isn’t much she likes about the modern world, but that she likes the clothes.

In another room, or the yard, Joe and Nicky are talking. Nicky is coming around to Booker. It is clear that seeing Quynh forgive Andy, and forgive them too, that what Booker did was put in perspective for Nicky. He is maybe not entirely over it. He is not back to trusting Booker, but he is on the road to forgiveness. I think I would like Nicky to actually state out loud, and for it not just to be something the fandom is aware of and projects on Nicky (like I do in this post), that part of the reason it is so hard for him to forgive is because of who he used to be, way back in the crusades, when he was the one who was doing wrong, and hurting others, and needed penance/to learn his lesson. Through bringing this up, he can express his eternal gratitude for Joe, and how much he loves Joe, and how good Joe is, or how Joe inspires him to be better, or something, because not a day goes by without Nicky thinking about how Joe forgave him. Joe forgave him for doing the unthinkable, and not only forgave him, but fell in love with him. And then we see how this very confession makes Joe love him all the more, how emotional it makes him, and Joe expressing that, and of course then we see them press their foreheads together/kiss/whatever.

We see Nile and Booker together again. Booker overheard Nile’s speech to Quynh, and he’s also been thinking about what she said at the beginning of the movie. They talk about what Booker’s going to do now that everything with Quynh has been handled, and Andy isn’t a flight risk anymore. Booker says something like, “I think I’m going to stick around.” Then I would like it if Booker expresses some of his thoughts relating to what Nile has said, and admitting that it’s changed his point of view, or at least expanded it. Not to such an extreme that he’s happy to live forever, or whatever, but he does say something in the way of making it clear that he was being selfish, but he was also tunneling on his misery, and not seeing everything there is to be thankful for, and to look forward to, and to love about this life – that there’s as much good as bad, and that as long as he has the guard, he won’t be lonely, and so maybe, it’s not so bad if he sticks around a little longer. I think I would like him to point out that he only thought he was lonely before his exile, but once he was exiled he knew actual loneliness, and he's not going to take the guard for granted ever again. Nile will find this all kind of amusing - it's all very no duh to her - but express a sort of “glad to have you” sentiment and probably warn him that he better not ever fuck up again.

The guard are eating together. The question of how Andy’s immortality came back is brought up. Everyone is as confused by it as they are by everything relating to their immortality, but they exchange various thoughts on it. But it’s Copley who proposes a theory (that I headcanon in this post) – The Guard are immortal because of their capacity for good, and their immense will to live and help humanity. This is their purpose, and their immortality exists to help them fulfill it. He defends his argument by pointing out that Andy was losing her faith in humanity, her faith that they were able to do anything to help the world – and then she learned that Quynh was still alive (because Nile had her dream. Since Booker had not been telling her about his dreams of Quynh, she had thought Quynh had died at some point, and Nile's dream had made her realize that actually, Quynh had been alive that whole time.), and finally, that was enough to make her lose her purpose completely. Then Copley would say it was Quynh’s willingness to forgive Andy and be with her again that restored Andy’s purpose, and will to fulfill that purpose – so, Andy regained it. All of them could share their thoughts on it – Nicky would like it, since he believes in destiny, Joe would like it, because he’s a romantic, Nile would like it, because she’s an optimist and she’s “seen it.” Booker would be the doubter – he, after all, has wanted to die and has been a piece of shit who lost his purpose. Maybe Nile would say here that maybe deep down, he never did lose his purpose. Quynh and Andy, I don’t think either of them would agree one way or another, but I think they might exchange a look, leaving something unspoken, maybe some indication that though they aren’t sure they buy it – they can’t really discount it either. Andy had never wanted to live more than when Quynh forgave her, after all, and how else could Quynh have endured 500 hundred years underwater if not because she needed to get back to (or save, so she thought) Andy so they could both keep their promise to each other.

The end! <33333

[evilmskitty]

Jurassic World Chaos Theory and communication

Season 2 spoilers, be warned: long post ahead~

(Now that I’ve simmered down from my high horse, and can look back at the opinions from fresh out of the oven)

Communication is a big theme throughout season 2 (and 1 really), often highlighting major points in certain episodes.

Miscommunication and lack of communication, were often intertwined with different characters. Just to be clear, I am not a big fan of the miscommunication trope because it gets me pissed off. Mostly because it can be very realistic, which hits close to home sometimes. Brooklyn’s character and story line are majorly in this trope.

Brooklyn spends time working on shady shit to get a story and put an end to the shady shit. In doing so, we see her neglect maintaining her friendships/relationship because she’s using it to cope. Then said shady shit comes back to wreck her life up, which she knows can harm her friends. Brooklyn does try to include Darius in last minute but then it gets skewed after the awkward confession. She gets attacked, not expecting to be alone, in a trap set for her. She entertains the idea of staying dead when it’s presented to her. Vetoes it. Andddd then is shown that it’s still very dangerous for her to return and tell her friends. So back to staying dead, because it’s safer for everyone.

Brooklyn continues to be radio silent and in doing so misses a lot of what happens in season 1. I don’t think she knows the group was hunted down or why they were all in Africa other than tracking the Broker there. What she knows is glimpsed from the news, the Broker, and Ben. Her conversation with Ben does irritate me, however it shows how difficult both their situations are. Brooklyn is trying to keep them safe and Ben is trying to find proof she is alive/what happened/what they’re dealing with, neither are in a good spot to really reach out and actually break down what’s happening.

Ben is left to either keep his promise not to say anything or tell the group. We watch it cause him such a visceral reaction he has a panic attack. Once he calms down, he thinks it over. Ben makes the decision to tell the group, and is immediately thwarted for plot reasons the rest of the episode and those following. Which causes more doubt and the desperate scramble for more proof. It builds up and he reaches out to the most levelheaded person he trusts to talk him through it. Yaz. Once again is thwarted by plot and because the doubt is eating at him but so is the guilt. Yet that scene also shows the build of up different communication issues.

We’re seeing Kenji having self sacrificing tendencies (borderline suicidal which is another topic altogether) to avoid feeling the heavy burden of emotions, worrying the group. Darius is wandering off to hyperfixate on dinosaurs to avoid having to discuss his feelings (as one does) or make sure Zayna is okay (if I see anyone shipping them I will cringe into dust). Sammy is also mostly making sure Zayna’s okay but is actually dealing with her emotions (improving from season 1) along with Yaz.

Darius is tasked with talking to Kenji, who Yaz has tried to get through to, both of them getting nothing but the mask he puts up. It isn’t until Ben is stuck in the position of telling them about Brooklyn or keeping quiet does anyone get through to Kenji. Also due to Darius wanting to avoid talking about his emotions again. Ben gets through to Kenji, but Kenji doesn’t get to what’s eating at Ben.

All of these come together during the last 3 episodes. Brooklyn who is unaware that the phone was eaten by a hippo, thinks Ben went out of his way to find her there. Ben who is overly baffled that his friend is here in person and not dead doesn’t really know what to say, much less willing to argue anything. Kenji who is an outsider watching the exchange, festering emotions explode. The rest of the group watch in horror as their supposedly dead friend works with the Broker. When they all meet back up, Ben is confronted with trying to explain his side and there’s a lot being thrown at him. Darius takes lead because he knows this won’t help anyone (in the moment) and they need to get out of the facility. But also because he’s still reeling from everything as well. (Someone pointed out he’s due for his breakdown next season which is very likely that boy is going through it).

In the end, the very thing Brooklyn had gone quiet for, didn’t really matter. The group was still targeted even after her death. They still ended up in Africa at the research facility. Still experienced danger and possible death many times. But she doesn’t know the whole scale and is desperate to keep them safe. So she continues to shut them out, continuing to get as much evidence as she can without involving them just she doesn’t know which is less she’ll have to lie and so they don’t know so they won’t be in harm’s way.

(There’s also my whole thoughts on the confession scene which is another unreliable narrator/miscommunication trope. Darius acts as if he made a huge confession to Brooklyn, likely due to the guilt of not being there during the attack, when in reality it wasn’t. Brooklyn fresh off a break up with their mutual friend catches the slip of tongue to mean exactly what it actually means for Darius. Love, in love, and she reacts to it. Which fair, but it shows how both sides dealt with it. Brooklyn brushes it off, Darius can’t stop feeling ashamed for it.)

(The recent posts I made were hot flash opinionated and fresh from watching the show in full bc I’m a certified slacker and knew I would hyper-fixate if I watched it when I had shit to do)

[roman-cates]

Bryce gives a brisk nod as he puts on his gun. "Okay. I'll be back before five, hopefully closer to four. I'll try to cook something edible for dinner, and Kyle will be over at six. I'll see you in a bit."

He wheels Roman over to the door and steps out, waiting to hear the bolts slide in behind him. Then he goes to his meeting at the main house. Boss got in this morning, supposedly.

When he gets there, Mal is nowhere to be seen. Robert brings him up to to Boss's study and leaves him at the closed door.

He knocks. "It's Bryce," he says, "For our two o'clock."

"Come in." Boss's voice is sharp and authoritative, as always. He enters, about to close the door behind him until he sees Mal, standing up to leave. She brushes past him, tears glittering in her eyes, and leaves, shutting the door.

"Sit down," says Boss. "I think we have a lot to discuss."

Previous

Roman locks the door behind Bryce when he leaves. And then he's left by himself...

He can't really move from where he is, either. Maybe a little bit, but not really. Therefore, the only thing he can really do is think...

His thoughts wander first to Avery. And to sleep. Where his mind is right now, it's going to be extremely difficult to fall asleep. Even if he tries, he keeps reflexively opening his eyes and waking back up when Avery's corpse inevitably comes to him...

Roman had never seen someone die before... He's... sort of glad he saw Avery's death, though...

A lot of things were said that night...

Roman is fairly confident now that Bryce wasn't actually considering Avery's usefulness and that he really did plan to kill them the entire time. Roman keeps going back to that statement about loyalty, though...

This one's just for fun.

He's not sure what to think about that. He still feels it could have been true...

All that aside, though, the sleeping really is going to become an issue. Roman will probably be fine for a night, maybe two, but he's acutely aware that he is healing. Healing takes energy and rest... He's already exhausted.

What Roman needs is a way to get the image of Avery's body out of his head...

After a while, his thoughts arrive at Lenny.

What would happen to Lenny, in your ideal world?

Roman wishes the question hadn't been asked, but it had. And he can't help but wonder, what would he want to happen to Lenny? Certainly his actions don't equate the same consequences as Avery's. In a way, Roman understands where Lenny was coming from. A place of grief. A place of anger. Roman would have been upset to interact with someone he perceived to be working with Avery too. He's not sure what he would have done to that person if he were in a position to have power over them.

Still, the thing that's most upsetting is that Lenny seemed very ready to hurt Roman even before Avery was brought up...

Should anything happen to Lenny? The more Roman thinks about it, the less he thinks Lenny even needs to face punishment for what he did. It won't happen, but Roman mostly just wishes that he could make it clear to Lenny that he was never working with Avery— wouldn't ever have worked with Avery. He... wants an apology, but not really for Lenny to suffer.

Bryce had said, I'll figure it out on my own.

Roman probably doesn't want to know what's going to happen to Lenny...

He starts taking mental note of all his injuries... All the scars, the missing fingers, broken bones...

Hang on a minute...

Kyle had written all of these down already. He had sent a report to Bryce. Bryce had received the report and got alarmingly upset about something on it...

What was it? Did Bryce say he was planning to go over it with Roman..? He had said something about options, right..? He had probably just forgotten and Roman isn't sure he feels comfortable asking about the report, but he is concerned about it...

[kindred-sims]

Dear diary,

I was running errands in town yesterday when I had the pleasure of running into Mrs. O'Sullivan! I'll admit I haven't seen her since the wedding, which is odd given our being neighbors and all. Grandmother certainly raised me to be more hospitable than that, so I asked if Mrs. O'Sullivan would care to join me for tea after church on Sunday.

She was delighted to accept the invitation, and said she would extend it to Mrs. Grantham should she run into her before I did.

I'll admit I was very excited when Sunday afternoon eventually did come around. Much as I appreciate the company of the animals, there's nothing like having another like-minded woman to talk to. Our husbands had all gone out fishing for the afternoon, so we fortunately had the house all to ourselves.

It was all well and good for awhile, we mostly sipped at tea and talked about happenings around town, though if I am to be honest, it was a little more difficult for me to keep up with Mrs. O'Sullivan -- Maeve, and Mrs. Grantham -- Agnes, as they happily gossiped about some church-goer who supposedly dabbled in the making of current wine. I've never been one for gossip, so I only smiled and nodded whenever I could.

Eventually my silence was noticed by Maeve, who requested a penny for my thoughts. Both she and Agnes were curious to know how married life was treating me, so I began to tell them.

"I'm not sure," I'd admitted as such. "I would like to believe it is going well, but...

"But?" They'd both pressed.

"But, I'm afraid that I'm disappointing Caleb. I've been acting so closed off around him, and asking him for permission for the simplest things, things I could've easily done myself. I feel like more of a bother than a comfort most days, I fear that I am no better than a simple hired hand."

"Oh my dear, I know this must be such a hard adjustment for you," Maeve had sympathized. "But these things take time, you cannot expect to feel at home after only a few short weeks. Agnes here knows exactly how you feel, don't you, Agnes?"

I'd looked at Agnes in surprise. I'd known that she and Mr. Grantham were only recently wed, but they'd been so natural and loving with one another. I would've thought they'd known each other for years with how at ease they acted.

"Do you really, Agnes?"

"In a way, yes. Philip and I...well, our marriage was arranged, just as yours and Caleb's was," Agnes explained to me. "Those first few weeks, the first month, even...it wasn't a very easy time, but Philip was so understanding, so patient with me. Over time, I saw him as a confidant, and I can't imagine my life without him now. I'm sure you'll feel the same way with Caleb soon enough, he has been treating you well, hasn't he?"

"Yes...actually, he's been very kind to me. I'm just..." I'd shrugged. "I want to believe that its coming from a good place, and its definitely not that I'm ungrateful for everything he's done, I'm just afraid I'm terrible at trying to express my gratitude..."

"So's my Brendan, poor man has never really had a way with words," Maeve laughed. "You want my advice? Do what he does whenever he wants to show his gratitude."

"And what's that, if I may ask?"

"He does things for me, brings me gifts. Sometimes its a hand carving, sometimes its wildflowers he picked while he was out hunting, or even a bag of white sugar from the store. That's how I know he acknowledges what I do for him, and how much he loves me."

"Yes indeed, that's all you need to do, Josephine! I'm sure you'll think of something!"

I'd only nodded glumly, slumping back in my seat without much idea of what to say next, as Maeve and Agnes swiftly went back to their mindless gossip.

They'd left a little while after that, as the men had returned from their fishing trip -- mostly empty-handed from what I understand, but even then, I can't say I noticed. I was thinking a lot about what Maeve had said to me, about showing my gratitude. It is a good idea I must say, I'm just not sure I know what to do with it yet.

What could I possibly give Caleb to show that I'm not as poorly simple as he thinks me to be? I'm certain I'll figure something out, I have to. Else I'm sure I'll go mad, because I don't know what else to do otherwise.

Signed,

Josephine Wakefield

[oopey-doopey]

hot take: i don't think monty is usually that angry.

this is based on the theory that animatronics get their personalities based on what they are programmed to do.

for example, roxanne is a race car driver, ergo she is competitive and slightly egotistical.

sun is a daycare attendant meant to play with children, so they are hyperactive and engaging.

moon is supposedly tasked with keeping children in line, so they would presumably be more strict.

monty plays golf. it's his whole thing. golf is a laid back sport, that has somewhat complicated rules (? i don't play golf im just basing this off the vibes). so we would expect him to be chill, with perhaps a stricter side. (also have you seen that picture with the core four where he has his glasses off? that man is a lazy animal crossing villager. the first one to open the barbecue. he hangs around the office water cooler. he will look at your kid's baby pictures and pull out his own, except they're like. pictures of his dog when it was a puppy. there is only one thought behind his eyes and its golfball)

let's assume that the glitch virus not only causes victims to be subjected to glitchtrap's control, but will also exacberate the negative flip side of their behaviour.

roxy has self esteem issues from the competitive need to stay in the limelight.

sun is too intense with his energetics ('we can drink faz fanta until our heads EX-PLODE-' )

moon is... y'know.

we could expect monty to get more aggressive, because golf is still a competitive sport and stuff, but it's not as much of a logical leap as the others are? going from being a mostly laid back guy to 'will bite you if you look at him the wrong way' is quite a big step.

so, this new personality shift could have come from external factors, i.e the bonnie incident. for whatever reason, bonnie apparently left for monty's golf course, and then wasn't seen again. i don't think monty necessarily killed him, so much as he went '🧍‍♂️. wh. what are you doing in my house'. (and then stood by out fear of whoever killed bonnie??)

or maybe he did kill him, not out of jealousy, because he perceived him to be a sudden threat (as in bonnie got infected by the virus because glitchtrap felt nostalgic?? idk)

whatever happened, it may have traumatised him. he could have additionally absorbed Bonnie's own angry and terrified feelings as he died (can these new animatronics leave remnants of their own???)

from there it could have snowballed. anger at himself for whatever he did (or didn't do) to bonnie, anger at freddy for being so perfect (those feelings aren't so much 'i already took down bonnie and you are a stepping stone that is annoyingly out of reach' so much as they are 'i have very strong imposter feelings and you seem to be doing better than me, so therefore i will unfairly project these feelings onto you' cus like.

as he replaced bonnie there probably was some uproar because bonnie is an og.

and monty's envy could be 'take your place -> take ur fame' while stubbornly ignoring the fact there would be even more uproar against him and his imposter syndrome would get worse.)

either way, monty is a bastard and i love him

I like this a lot because Bonnie is my favorite animatronic overall in the series but I really like Monty (and Sunrise) in this game.

I do believe Monty had something to do with Bonnie's disappearance but how much of it was malice is questionable. My biggest thing against Monty not being fully responsible is how the notes never mention Monty ever going to the stage or showing hostility until AFTER Bonnie disappeared and he got the upgrades. You'd think he'd be more hostile BEFORE, not after reaching his goal. Monty is never pointed out to show jealousy or odd behavior towards the other performers at all before this. The only odd behavior he does show is being up in the catwalks which are notoriously dangerous but have a good areal view of his golf course.

My first theory is, Bonnie could of had a genuine accident in the golf course, Monty heard but did not see it and stakes out on the catwalks because he's both looking for Bonnie or what caused the accident. The second theory is Monty saw what happened to Bonnie and does not feel safe in his course anymore and stays up high to see possible threats. The third is Monty was tampered with and his first sign of aggression was towards Bonnie who just happened to roam into the golf course and it just got worse.

Whatever the case, I agree that Monty is a bastard and I love him as well <3.

[wibble-wobbegong]

Hopclair Across the Seasons

Official hopclair breakdown is here!! Since we’re returning to S1 dynamics for the final season and Lucas and El’s relationship played a big-ish role in S1, I assume we’re gonna see them play an important role in each other’s stories and the plot as a whole so I wanted to dive into their growth over the seasons so we can really see what direction they’re heading in for the final season. Also I love them so bad which means this one got kinda long lmao. Hopclair fans I hope you enjoy!!

Season 1

For starters, what’s the basis of El and Lucas’ relationship? What are the building blocks?

The first real idea we get for how either of them feel about each other is Lucas’ reaction when Mike brings all of them back to his house after their search for Will;

“There’s something seriously wrong with her. Like, wrong in the head.”

Lucas immediately takes the perspective of the negative thinker here. Though realistic, considering she was someone they found in the woods who doesn’t seem to understand basic life concepts like privacy, he does say they he wanted to leave her out in the rain and continue the search for Will.

When Lucas has a goal, he gets very stubborn and refuses to let anything get in his way. His number one priority was finding Will, similar to Mike, so he didn’t want to side track away from that for some random girl who may have come from the asylum. The very start of Lucas’ relationship with El is a negative one because Lucas views her as someone halting their progress in finding Will — someone doing damage to the party.

The next day, more frustration builds on Lucas’ end after Mike doesn’t show up to school. Both he and Dustin assume it’s because he got caught, but Dustin treats the situation much more light heartedly than Lucas. During that scene we learn two things:

1. Lucas and Mike are really established as closer friends in this scene. The situation is stressing Lucas out much more than it is Dustin, and he gets defensive of Mike when Dustin suggests that he’d get them in trouble too;

“No way, Mike would never rat us out!”

He’s worried about Mike, and that worry is stemming from thinking El is causing more problems.

2. His highest priority is still finding Will and he’s created a very specific image of El in his head;

“All that matters is, after school, the freak will be back in the loony bin and we can focus on what really matters, finding Will.”

Lucas very much so views El as a problem and that feeling only grows after she had not only interrupted their search for Will but also gotten Mike in trouble. That comes back to his protective nature, the way he prioritizes his friends in the same way Mike does. He cares about Will in a similar fashion, too.

Obviously, El mostly goes unaware of most of this. The only perception she has of Lucas right now is that he thinks she’s messed up in the head and that she’s dangerous. It’s not a great start on her end either, though it doesn’t seem like it bothers her too much in the beginning.

When Lucas finds out that Mike had decided to keep El around because she might know about Will, he tries to consider that possibility. He challenges the things Mike is saying because all it’s doing is reaffirming that El is untrustworthy. If El supposedly knows about Will, why wasn’t she telling them? He grabs her, demanding to know if she knows because that’s one of his best friends and all he wants right now is for Will to come home.

As for El, this is where she really sees Lucas for the first time. She’s scared, but she’s also a little pissed at the way Lucas is treating her. When she shuts the door on Lucas, she scares him right back.

Lucas and El are both scared of each other and they’re established as antagonists in each other’s stories. For Lucas, El is stopping him from finding his best friend. For El, Lucas is trying to take away her safety. You can see the fear and the anger in their expressions during this scene;

In the bottom left photo, it’s a little hard to see but the camera is focused on Lucas. His reaction to El slamming the door is the most important one, just as El is focused in while glaring at Lucas.

The thing is, though, that even though this conflict is set up, Lucas and El don’t naturally have an antagonistic dynamic. Later that night, when things have settled down, we see Lucas try to be understanding and explain himself to El. Lucas, by nature, isn’t mean spirited like that; he’s typically a very warm and understanding person. He still doesn’t really like her, but he tries to extend an olive branch after she asks what a friend is, but gets interrupted by Mike.

Without having gotten to connect with her, Lucas keeps his distance still and calls her ‘the weirdo’ rather than her name. He tends not to take her very seriously until Will comes up.

I know I’m focusing heavily on Lucas’ perspective, but that’s because El only seems to be giving her attention to Mike at this point. El’s perspective comes into more focus later on.

This skepticism and protectiveness we see with Lucas continues to be emphasized, but he ends up following El’s guide anyway. Why? Well, Mike is following El and Lucas has a lot of faith in Mike. He’ll challenge him but if Mike really believes in El and really believes he’ll be able to find Will, then Lucas trusts that.

Alright, I think that establishes the building blocks of Hopclair. Lucas wants to find Will, El wants to be safe, and their actions often work in opposition. They have a bit of an antagonistic dynamic, but neither Lucas nor El are acting like that because it’s their nature; they both have very strong motivators that dictate their actions. Lucas is still a kind and understanding person, but he’s loyal to his friends so his priority is finding Will above all else. El is caring and determined, but she doesn’t have the knowledge of relationships to understand his frustration yet.

Where do they go from here? I do think Lucas’ feelings towards El get more complex from here. We see Lucas poke fun at Mike and joke about him marrying her but we also see him scoff at Mike and El talking about the bullying later on. When Dustin said that Lucas was jealous, he was sort of right. It wasn’t just a matter of feeling replaced, though.

Lucas and Mike have a lot of aligning values and although they argue, they seem like they normally understand each other pretty well and get along which is what we see in S3. In the beginning, both Lucas and Mike were dead set on finding Will no matter what — they were on the same page. Lucas expects Mike to understand that they can’t afford to get side-tracked (in his eyes), but instead Mike is sticking with El. I think it felt a bit like a betrayal for Lucas, like Mike really was choosing El over him and Will even if that was far from the truth.

The real turning point is when Lucas realizes El was leading them away from the gate. He doesn’t know the El was genuinely protecting them from something awful, all he knew was that she’d led them away from Will.

“Because she’s a traitor!”

“We’re looking for some stupid monster but did you ever stop to think that maybe she’s the monster?”

That line right there is the start of something for El. That line changed her perception of herself dramatically, and although it’s never directly acknowledged, this absolutely impacted El’s relationship with Lucas.

Lucas and El have a barrier between them. Lucas’ barrier was built from the very start, but this is where El’s barrier comes up. El wants to be the good person we know she is, but she’s just been associated with the monster that she’s terrified of. Even when she saves people over and over, it takes a long time for her to finally realize that she isn’t a monster.

When Lucas finally apologizes, he says he’s sorry for calling her a traitor, that he was wrong for that. What he doesn’t apologize for is calling her a monster. I honestly think he would’ve if he’d known that comment hurt El, but he was saying that to Mike. Regardless, Lucas doesn’t apologize for calling her a monster. Her response?

“Friends don’t lie.”

El has ingested the idea that she’s a monster. At this point, she considers Lucas to be a friend and one of the very first things she learned about the world is that friends don’t lie. Even though Mike tried to tell her she wasn’t a monster, she doesn’t really believe him. This isn’t something Mike is able to solve, as it originates with Lucas and El’s internal turmoil.

By the end of the season, it’s clear that Lucas doesn’t think of El as a monster. She saves him and his friends, even Will, and we know how important that is to him. El has established Lucas as her friend. Yet, those barriers between them aren’t fully broken down. They may be unconscious, but this season has made it hard for them to be as close as the others.

Season 2

For these next three seasons, there’s not nearly as much to talk about. In S2, Lucas and El get three solid moments where their relationship is brought to light.

1. Max brings up El

I think this is a pretty solid representation of where Lucas is at with El right now. Unlike Mike, he’s not aggressively protective over her which is a bit of a contrast to his protectiveness over Will in S1. What’s different from before, though, is the way he describes her. He’s gone from addressing El as the weirdo and thinking of her as a wackjob to using her actual name and using the word different. We see it a little bit at the end of S1, but this shows where he stands after that last day he spent with her.

He definitely comes across as more neutral, and we don’t get to hear how he describes her to Max when he tells the story.

2. El thinking of her friends when she wants to go home

When El finally leaves Chicago, she does so thinking of saving her friends. She says she considers Lucas as a friend in S1, but we don’t really see him or Dustin come into play when she’s thinking this way. Although I’m sure she thought of them, we only specifically see El worrying for her father figures (Hopper and Mike).

El simply hasn’t struck a cord with anyone else to have that deep connection like she has with Hopper and Mike. This contributes to her not really understanding the difference between family and friends yet, which is a major part of her S3 arc.

3. El’s return

What’s interesting about El’s return at the end of the season is that she gets a solo moment with almost every character except Lucas. Obviously there’s Hopper and Mike, but she also points out Dustin’s teeth, ignores Max, hugs Joyce, and goes to see Will.

That barrier that was built in S1 is part of why Lucas and El still aren’t given much depth and it’s definitely intentional. There was a lot of emphasis put on their S1 conflict only to have almost all attention removed from them. They haven’t grown yet, so we’re not really being shown any change.

Lucas and El only exchange one notion and it’s that they missed each other. They don’t really show it much, but I’m sure they missed each other a little bit. It feels a little bit like a casual thing rather than anything full of emotion, but we Lucas smiling at seeing her again too. He definitely experienced at least some grief over her, especially knowing that he was so harsh to her even though she ended up saving the Party. They’re both relieved that the other is okay, y’know?

Season 3

For S3, we get pretty much no interactions between Lucas and El. Lucas tries to help Mike through his break up with her, but that’s much more of Wheelclair than anything regarding how Lucas feels about El personally.

There’s something very important established in S3 for the two of them, though; Max is the person they’re both closest to. Lucas and El hardly know anything about each other if we’re being honest, but for the first time they have a connection. Neither of them are aware of it, but Max is the one thing they have in common, and she’s someone they both love.

Season 4

S4… oh man. This is another season where we don’t get any directly substantial interactions between Lucas and El but this season is the one that sets a bonding arc in motion for them.

Their mutual grief over Max is very explicitly shown even if they haven’t talked to each other about it yet. They were both there when she died. They’re both the reason she’s alive right now, too. Max hid in a happy memory of Lucas long enough for El to get there and El resumed Max’s heartbeat.

Although we don’t see much from them in S4, we have been given a fantastic set up for S5. All the way back in S1, Lucas was never able to make a connection with El because he got interrupted the one time he tried. Now, Lucas and El are connected to Max and both of them love her so, so deeply. We also see El overcome her problem with feeling like a monster because she’s finally learned that that isn’t true. That conflict was never really about Lucas, but it did start with him and it did contribute to that barrier. The things that have kept them distant for so long are starting to crumble, opening an opportunity for them to finally grow.

I would like to note that both Lucas and El spent this season going through solo arcs of self acceptance. Lucas came to learn that he would much rather be a freak than someone like Jason and, at the end of the day, Lucas is a freak just like his friends. He enjoys DND and science and history, but now he seems like he’s willing to embrace that again.

El spent the season learning that she isn’t a monster nor a superhero. One of those barriers I mentioned was El feeling like a monster, but she’s proven to herself that she’s anything but.

Both of these situations are likely gonna overlap in their respective arcs with Mike regarding his sexuality, so he may end up functioning as a connection between them too. Lucas and El both care about Mike a lot, though that definitely isn’t the focus of their S5 arc.

Season 5

Thanks to S4 giving us a beautiful set up and the fact that we’ll be returning to S1 dynamics, I think S5 is really gonna be Lucas and El’s season. In many ways, S5 is being set up in in contrast to S1 with a lot of potential role reversals. We also see this with Lucas and El!

In S1, the Hopclair conflict originates with El and Lucas having different goals that worked against each other. Now, however, they’ve been given the same goal of saving Max. Max is gonna be the force that drives them to work together and finally become real friends.

I think we may see Lucas be the one to reach out to El and build that connection by asking for her help in saving Max once they realize it’s possible. Rather than getting interrupted like he did in S1, Lucas is actually able to connect with El this time. He’s able to offer friendship.

For El, building a deep friendship with Lucas is something I think will be very valuable to her story. El spends every season learning about different types of love, but she’s still yet to have a relationship with a man that isn’t familial. El has learned how to have a real father and real brothers, she’s learned how to embrace herself as a girl and enjoy things like long hair and dresses with Max and in California, and she’s also learned how to love herself.

One of the big things I hope El gets to learn is that you can be close with a boy without him being family or your boyfriend. I think building a proper friendship with Lucas, one without heteronormative pressures, is something that would be great for her character. Being friends with a boy can be just that; friends. That goes back to her relationship with Mike, because what they need to be to each other is friends. Also, El should have close friends outside of Max, no matter how great Max is!!

In opposition to S1, where Lucas and El didn’t understand each other at all, we’re going to finally watch them grow and learn about each other. We haven’t gotten to see them make real progress from their S1 dynamic, so we’ll likely be seeing them do everything they couldn’t before. It’s a perfect set up for them to share memories and bond, work together, become proper friends, and for them to get to save Max.

Basically, Hopclair is gonna get a beautiful arc in S5 where they finally, finally get to overcome their rough history and Lucas will finally get to learn who El truly is, as he still hasn’t even gotten a chance to have a conversation with her and El will get to know the ways in which you can have a deep emotional connection and supportive relationship with a guy without it having to be romantic or paternal. They’ll have each other to confide in, lean on, and learn from in S5. I cannot fucking wait to see it happen.

[saintlesbian]

as an Esme enjoyer (NOT APOLOGIST!!!!) I have lots of conflicting Thoughts ™️ on her current character rn. maybe it’s bc AKP is such an entertaining actress or maybe it’s bc I only started watching recently (so I kinda missed out on most of her really unethical behavior) but. there’s something about this fucked up little skrunkly animal of a girl that draws me in sorry.

like esme’s sociopathic snark was funny to me. the whole thing of her being manipulated by her father into manipulating the cassadine men in order to try and break up Ava and nik’s marriage was entertaining to me as a supporter of Women Who Scheme… and she’s doing all of this to gain the attention and affection of her father who is kinda Incapable of Love and is preoccupied with his Ava obsession at all times. like I can get why she would fuck nikolas to try and screw over Ava since to Esme, Ava is the main obstacle standing between her and her father’s love. and Ryan’s manipulation def bled into the way she interacted with the rest of the people she supposedly cared about since she literally alienated herself from the entire rest of the YA friend group by COMMITTING A SEX CRIME???? AND FRAMING TRINA FOR IT???? all to sow discord among them, isolate them, and ESPECIALLY to isolate spencer so she could keep manipulating the shit out of him.

like i think she saw trina, being friendly and reasonable with Spencer, as a threat to her relationship bc she’s insecure as hell and doesn’t have a model of healthy attachment to base her experiences on. and she sees joss and cam being happy together (maybe still wanting cam a little bit bc he was one of the few people she showed a softer side to??) and gets jealous as fuck bc she doesn’t have that kind of happy relationship. so she kills two birds with one stone, records the caoss revenge porn to sabotage their relationship and pins it on trina to isolate her from her friends… except even with all that reasoning behind it it’s still like GIRL??? you really didn’t need to do any of that??? like Ryan didn’t even order her to do that she just picked up a little sociopathic side project for herself. the crazy roots ran deep with this one. god forbid women have hobbies I guess

so to have those roots ripped out of Esme with the amnesia plot, it’s kinda like they sucked out all the meat and left behind a shell of Esme, this panicky waif, this sopping wet animal in the rain, directionless and loveless. I kinda imagine this is just what she was like before she started communicating with Ryan, and with the recent death of her adoptive family she just latched onto the first family she could find, with Ryan, modeling all of her behaviors after his orders. and even after the amnesia she still latches onto the first family she can find, with Laura the maternal figure and Kevin her uncle, who looks just like the father she can’t really remember.

she’s def not a victim tho, despite the two different hostage situations she was in recently. those were mostly her own fault lol. I think for Esme to have any shot at a meaningful redemption she does still need to face the consequences of her actions, whether she remembers them or not. jail time 100% for the revenge porn thing bc even I can’t make an excuse for how yucky that was. but what would really seal the deal for me is if she actually got her memory and a little of her personality back. scared animal Esme is fine and all but I’m starting to miss her snarky side… I think her redemption would be more satisfying if she had to deal with the guilt of her past atrocities and come face to face with everyone she hurt and have them all lay into her.

and I think the specter of Ryan should haunt her. like how she used to hallucinate him telling her to hurt her baby… I think that should be an ever present threat in esme’s head. like esme should def keep her snark and mild criminal behavior, but also when faced with the chance to fully revert to her old ways, she should be actively choosing not to be evil, rather than it just being a byproduct of her blank slate status. also this bitch needs therapy for sure but I’m wondering what impact talking to Kevin would have on her fractured subconscious…

[i-am-robie]

 Thanks to @coffeeshib​ for letting me steal the amnesia + wife prompt... I couldn’t help myself. This is not what I thought would come out (content warning for canon typical violence and injuries), mostly this is just Kara being a whole entire idiot and Alex facepalming and Lena just being glad Kara is there for her, as her fake wife while she recovers from another quarterly attempt on her life:

“Supergirl! You have to go!” Alex is yelling at her as they roll Lena into the emergency room at National City General, but Kara is rooted to the spot - she can’t look away. Lena is pale, too pale, and there’s blood all over her dress, cuts and scrapes and bruises already blooming on every piece of exposed skin. She isn’t moving, isn’t breathing on her own right now; the only air making its way into her body is through the ambu bag being operated by a nurse, as women and men in scrubs crowd around the moving gurney, shouting orders. And all of that is terrifying enough, but it isn’t the thing that’s paralyzing Kara.

The reason Kara can’t move, the reason that she is barely breathing, is that she can’t hear Lena’s heart.

“Kara.” Alex is closer now, she steps gently in front of her sister, dropping her voice so that no one else can hear her. “Kara, you have to go, they’re getting away.”

“Alex - “ Kara takes a step forward, as if to walk around her sister, to head towards the doors that Lena and the medical team are disappearing behind.

“I know, Kara, I know,” Alex says, gentle and quiet. The doors shut, and Kara’s eyes snap away from it to her sister's face. Alex looks as terrified as Kara feels; she’s wearing an expression Kara has only seen on her before when it’s Kara who’s hurt. “You can’t do anything for her right now. But you can get the guys who did this.” She reaches for Kara’s arm, squeezes - the pressure is grounding. “You need to go. You need to go right now.”

So Kara goes.

__________________

She returns seven hours later, after dropping the men who carried out the attack on Lena at the DEO and declining to help in the interrogation. She nearly killed them, doesn’t think she has the stomach to listen to them talk. She’d still been in the field when the hospital reached out to let her know that they’d been able to stabilize Lena, restarting her heart, but that she hasn’t woken up yet. Alex had relayed the message to her, but now Alex only shakes her head when Kara asks if there are any updates.

Her sister pulls her aside when Kara says that she’s going to hospital to talk to the doctors, telling Kara quietly that she needs to go home and clean off her suit. When Kara looks down, she sees that Alex is right. She’s covered in blood - some of Lena’s, some of it the men she’s apprehended, none of it hers. It makes her want to sob.

But when she gets out of the bathroom after showering, pulling on soft joggers and a hoodie, Kara finds that she can’t settle. Every time she closes her eyes, every time she blinks, she sees Lena’s lifeless body in the rubble that had been her office, can feel Lena in her arms the moment her heart stopped, and the fact that Lena is supposedly stable doesn’t help at all because she hasn’t woken up.

What if she never wakes up?

Suddenly, Kara can’t breathe. Her chest is tight, the walls of her apartment seeming to flex and close in on her. Her heart rate speeds up and she’s taking choked half-breaths, clenching her fists and blinking away tears.

She can’t lose Lena like this, not after she worked so hard to get her back. Kara looks at the clock. It’s just after midnight. This is definitely not visiting-hours at the hospital, and Lena’s not awake anyway - but Kara needs to see her. Needs to know she’s alive.

Needs to hear her heartbeat again.

It’s all of this - the panic, the desperation, the single-minded focus on getting to Lena - that Kara will blame later when she’s trying to explain what happens next in the weeks to come.

The hospital is deserted except for the staff when Kara walks in through the main entrance and goes up to the ICU where she knows Lena will be. She heads straight for the desk at the front of the unit when she arrives, and introduces herself to a nurse before asking if she can see Lena.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Danvers,” the nurse says, and she does sound sorry in the face of Kara’s distress, “visiting hours aren’t until ten a.m.”

A man in a basketball sweatshirt and jeans walks past them, he scans a small badge that says ‘VISITOR’ in capital letters on a machine at the end of the desk, and nods at the nurse before he disappears down the hallway.

“He’s visiting,’ Kara tries, her voice bordering on frantic, “he’s visiting and I need to see her, you don’t understand, I’m not going to be okay if I don’t see her. Please, just let me...”

“I’m so sorry, honey, it’s immediate family only after hours.”

“I’m her wife,” Kara blurts out. “Please. I’m her wife.”

“You’re her…that’s not in the notes…” The nurse trails off, looking down at the computer in front of her.

“I’m her emergency contact, I’m her wife, please.”

““Oh, yes,” the nurse starts nodding, “I do see that marked here, they called you when she came in. Hmmm...Someone clicked the wrong box under ‘relationship to patient.’” She moves her mouse and clicks on something, then looks back up at Kara. “I’ve fixed that for you, Mrs. Danvers. Let me print you out a visitor badge so you can just scan it in next time.

Kara can feel her panic recede a little. She’s going to see Lena. The nurse takes a blank badge and feeds it into an electronic printer. She hands the finished product to Kara, then gets up and gestures for Kara to follow.

“Now,” the nurse starts as she walks Kara down the dark hallway, the lights on half since it’s night, “she looks a little rough, but I assure you, she’s receiving the very best care there is. Normally you would have been called for consent before we initiated the hypothermia protocol, but since she had an advanced directive on file already, the team went ahead and started it.”

Kara’s barely listening to her, has started to strain her ears for the only sound she’s wanted to hear all day. She nearly collapses in relief when she finds it, below the beeping and the whirring and the buzzing of the machines, unlike any other beat in the building. Lena’s heart is steady, slower than usual, slower than Kara’s ever heard it, but it’s there, rhythmically thumping away.

The nurse brings her to a halt in front of a patient room, Lena’s name on the board outside with a bunch of notations that mean nothing to Kara. She’ll ask Alex to translate.

“She’ll be cold to your touch, that’s alright,” the nurse continues. “The key right now is to try to stop or slow any of the damage she’s suffered as a result of going into cardiac arrest. She lost a lot of blood, and her left femur is broken, along with her right ulna, but there are a lot of reasons to be hopeful. We’ll know more in the forty-eight to seventy-two hours once the protocol is complete.”

Kara refuses to think about most of this. Lena is alive. She’s alive and she’s right on the other side of this door. She clears her throat. “How long...how long can I stay?”

“As long as you like, dear. We’ll round on her in the morning and if you’re still here you can talk to the attending. Also, we’ll be in to check on her, but most of the monitoring is electronic since she’s in a medically induced coma for at least the next two days. There’s a chair that reclines by the bedside, I can grab you a blanket?”

“Please,” Kara says. She stops with her hand on the door, turns back to the nurse. “Thank you.” It comes out wobbly.

“Of course.” The nurse smiles at her. “Go on in, I’ll be right back.”

_____________________

Kara’s woken up by the medical team the next morning during rounds, just as the night shift nurse had promised. She blinks awake and rubs at her eyes, stretching and going to stand up when the team enters.

“Hi Mrs. Danvers, we saw you’d arrived,” a tall woman in a white lab coat says, walking over to Kara on the far side of the room and sticking out her hand to shake. “I’m Dr. Sheldon. We’ll do our best to bring you up to speed now, I’m so glad you were able to make it last night.” She gives Kara a warm smile. “Believe it or not, it really does make a difference when patients are supported, even when they aren’t aware of it.”

The team walks her through their care plan for Lena, how long she’ll have to remain like this before they start the re-warming process, what they’re concerned about and what they’ll be looking for. Her arm and femur have been set and immobilized, but it’s likely that the femur will need to be rebroken and repaired surgically if and when Lena does wake up. Given the invasiveness of the procedure, the delicacy of her present condition, and the unknowns about her cognition, that decision will keep.

When they leave, Kara texts Alex. If the doctors think that it will make a difference for Lena’s recovery to have her here, then she’s going to stay. She’s owed time off anyway. This is the best use of it she can think of.

Two hours later, the door opens, and Kara looks up from the bed, relieved to see Alex standing there, holding a backpack with the food and change of clothing Kara asked her to bring.

“Oh gosh, am I glad to see you,” she says, letting go of Lena’s hand and standing up. She walks around the bed to where Alex has stopped.

“Yeah, yeah,” Alex says, and she’s frowning at Kara. “You have some fucking explaining to do.”

“What?” Kara stops abruptly.

“What?” Alex parrots. She narrows her eyes. “Are you being serious…?” At Kara’s confused expression, Alex rolls her eyes and reaches behind her to shut the door. She walks over to Kara, pulling some take out from the bag and handing it to her, before pulling up one of the swivel chairs a doctor had been using.

Kara takes the food and goes back to her seat.

“So?” Alex prompts.

Kara looks up from the styrofoam container, already having broken apart her chopsticks. “So what?”

“What do you mean...Kara!” Kara freezes, chopsticks frozen in midair clutching a piece of kung pao chicken. There is real frustration and confusion in Alex’s voice. “Imagine my surprise when I sign in at the front desk and the nurse says that my sister-in-law is stable right now. Wanna tell me why the fuck you’re playing house to visit your best friend in the hospital?”

Kara sets the chicken down. “Alex…”

“Kara, you have ten seconds to explain why the entire staff thinks you and Lena are married and the answer had better not actually involve marriage or I swear to god I’ll…”

“They wouldn’t let me in to see her!” Kara bursts out. “I got here last night and I needed to see her, Alex, I needed to. And apparently it’s immediate family only and I panicked, okay?”

“I’m sorry,” Alex says, pinching the bridge of her nose and closing her eyes. “I know Lena is important to you, but Kara, you could have waited ten hours and seen her.”

“I couldn’t.” Kara looks down at her food, not hungry anymore. “Alex, I couldn’t. I almost had a panic attack after you sent me home last night. I couldn’t wait.”

“Oh kiddo.” Kara looks up at that, all the frustration is gone from Alex’s tone. Her sister lets out a sigh. “Lena’s going to get through this and she’s going to get better. And when she does, you have got to tell her how you feel.”

“She’s my best friend.” Kara’s mouth twists. This is not a new conversation, but the stakes seem higher with Lena in the bed beside her, unconscious and battered.

“She is,” Alex agrees. “But she could be more.”

And oh, Kara wants more with every fiber of her being. But more than that, she wants Lena in her life, wants the easy love and affection they’ve finally gotten back to. And she’s been worried about rocking the boat.

“And by the way,” Alex says, pulling her back to the present, “lying to medical professionals is not a good look.” Kara grimaces and ducks her head.

“I know,” she says, glancing at Lena, the ventilator moving her chest up and down slowly. “But they said it’s good for Lena to have someone here, talking to her, holding her hand, even if she doesn’t know. And you know Lillian isn’t going to do that. And Lex is the one who put her here...just let me do this, okay?”

Alex hums. “You’re so lucky I didn’t blow your secret.”

Kara looks over at her sister. “Thank you.”

“Some of us are actually good at lying under pressure. I’m surprised you didn’t tell them she was married to Supergirl.”

“Well I wasn’t dressed as Supergirl.”

“Thank god for small mercies.”

______________________

Lena doesn’t wake up for the next three days.

In the interim, all of their friends visit, but Alex has already warned them about Kara’s new relationship status and other than Nia’s constant giggles, no one comments. Kara doesn’t leave the hospital. She keeps vigil in the chair, occasionally leaving for short periods of time to go down to the cafeteria, or to stretch her legs.

On day four, Alex convinces her to at least go to the DEO to shower and check in with J’onn about  the duties he and M’gann are covering for her.

She’s just getting ready to head back to the hospital when her phone rings.

“Mrs. Danvers?”

“Yes?”

“This is Dr. Sheldon. Your wife has woken up and she’s being evaluated now by neuro, but we wanted you to know first thing.”

Kara has to sit down in the middle of the DEO, the concrete hard and probably cold underneath her, but it’s better than the alternative, which was just going to be letting her knees give out. She closes her eyes tightly. “I’ll be right there.”

She flies back to the hospital, landing in a nearby alley and running into the building with just a touch of superspeed. She makes it onto the unit just in time to see Lena’s care team leaving her room and turning down the hall to the next patient, and as much as Kara wants to get an update from them, the urge to see Lena herself is too much. She walks through the open door and nearly runs into a nurse, who’s moving some of the equipment out, now that Lena is conscious. It’s a nurse Kara is familiar with, her name is Bernadette, she’s been on shift the last two days. Her eyes light up when she sees Kara.

“Your wife is here,” Bernadette says, over her shoulder before Kara can stop her. She smiles warmly as she turns back to Kara. “I’ll leave you two alone.” She slips past Kara and into the hallway.

“My…” Lena’s eyes go wide as she sees Kara standing helpless in front of the now closed door.  Her voice is still scratchy from the extubation. Her hair is greasy and all over the pillow, her right arm and left leg are completely immobilized, there are wires running through the top of her hospital gown, her whole body a tapestry of garish purples and greens and stitches. But she’s awake. Kara has never felt more relieved in her entire life, but it turns to ice in her veins as Lena struggles to speak, clearly confused. “My - my - oh god.” Her eyes start to fill with tears and Kara panics.

“No, Lena, no, it’s not - “ she starts saying, taking quick steps towards the bed.

“Oh god, oh god, Kara,” Lena chokes out, twisting a little in bed and flinching, “they said I only lost a week, they said my memory seemed okay, that there’s no - ”

“We’re not married!” Kara yells out trying to stop the clear spiral Lena is on. Lena’s eyes go wide, but she does stop looking like she’s about to start sobbing. “We’re not married,” Kara repeats, in a normal voice this time.

“Then why…”

Kara winces. “I might have told the hospital staff that we are. Married, that is.”

Lena looks wary, small and weak and confused in the bed, and she’s frowning a little at Kara now. It doesn’t even matter, though, because the feeling of seeing Lena awake is returning with every word she speaks, and Kara feels something in her chest open up. She has to resist walking over and climbing into bed with her and holding her, knows she needs to explain first.

In every single way Kara played out this moment all week in her head, not once is this how it went - she wants Lena to be smiling, to be okay, or at least as okay as one can be after coming out of a medically induced coma, with a number of near catastrophic injuries still to be dealt with. She certainly didn’t imagine she’d be contributing to the disorientation and isolation Lena’s projecting right now.

Lena’s eyes dart around Kara’s face. Kara takes a deep breath.

“The first night you were here, I had to see you.” She starts twisting her hands together, takes another step towards the bed. “And it was late, and even though I’m your emergency contact, they said no after hours visitors except for family and I panicked.”

“You panicked.” Lena sounds like she’s unsure how panic would lead someone to pretend to be married, and honestly, now that Kara is having to explain the decision, she’s not really sure either. The only thing she knows is that she doesn’t regret it. Would do it again, in fact.

“I knew if they thought I was your wife, they’d let me in to see you. And Lena, I had to see you. I had to. You were - “ Kara cuts herself off, can feel the tightness in her chest, closing around her heart like a vice. “Your heart stopped before I could get you to the hospital. The last time I saw you, I didn’t know if - “ A small sob works it’s way up her throat, and Kara’s eyes are burning. She feels a tear break free from her lashes. “I needed to hear your heartbeat.”

An unreadable expression crosses Lena’s face as Kara takes the seat by her bed that she’s occupied for the last week. To Kara’s great relief, Lena reaches out her left hand, lays it on the edge of the bed, palm up. Kara grabs for it with both of her own.

And Rao, the feeling of Lena’s hand, still cold, but undeniably warmer, squeezing back when Kara grips tightly - she doesn’t know how to describe this feeling. It starts a fresh wave of sobs in her, of relief this time, rather than terror.

“Hey,” Lena says, punctuating it with another flex of her fingers around the back of Kara’s hand. “Hey, I’m okay. I’m here. You saved me. I’m okay, see?”

And really, that just makes Kara cry harder.

“I’m supposed to be comforting you,” she chokes out.

“You are,” Lena says, disengaging their hands and bringing her fingers up to Kara’s face, wiping at the tears. “You are, god, I was just thrown. I thought...I thought, it doesn't matter what I thought.” She tries to laugh and ends up flinching.

“Oh no, are you okay, should I call the doctor?” Kara immediately reaches forward, lays a hand on Lena’s hip above the sheets and wipes furiously at her face with the other.

“It’s the broken ribs,” Lena grits out, jaw flexing as she drops her hand away from Kara’s face and back onto the bed. “Fuck that hurts.”

“I’m just so glad you’re awake,” Kara says, leaning forward again and brushing some of the hair out of Lena’s face, trying to tuck it behind her ear.

That’s how Bernadette finds them when she returns, Kara gently touching Lena’s forehead, and rubbing her hip, the two of them so close that Kara might as well climb in next to her.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” she says, smiling at the two of them. “The attending would like to pop in with the head of ortho to talk about surgical options for your femur. Should I tell her to come back later?”

Kara moves to stand up, she doesn’t want to delay anything about Lena’s care, but Lena reaches for her hand again, and Kara’s powerless to do anything but lace their fingers together and sit back down.

Lena takes a shallow breath, “Can my wife stay?”

My wife. Hearing it come out of Lena’s mouth does something to Kara that feels a little dangerous, makes the room spin a bit. Her heart feels as if it’s expanding and being squeezed at the same time. My wife. My wife. My wife.

“Of course, she’s more than welcome to stay,” Bernadette says. “It’s probably a good idea, actually, now that there are care decisions to make.”

_____________________

“Let me get this straight,” Alex says, her head in her hands. Kelly reaches out to rub her back. “You’re still pretending to be married, and Lena is playing along with it?”

Kara nods. They’re sitting down in the cafeteria while Lena gets a sponge bath, something that Kara is trying very hard not to think about. It’s been nearly three weeks, one major operation, and thankfully no more complications.

And Kara has been here through it all. She’s started leaving for blocks of time during the day (it turns out she didn’t have a month worth of vacation saved up and Alex had nearly had an aneurysm when Kara asked if she was allowed to use family medical leave act time), but she’s spent nearly every night in the hospital with Lena since. The medical team loves them, has started talking to them about how devoted Kara is. Maybe Kara’s playing into it a little, bringing flowers, and Lena’s favorite foods, and always, always touching her in some way when she’s in the room.

“You know they’re going to build her discharge plan around you, right?” Alex squints at her. “Have you considered that?”

Kara flushes. “Actually,” she brings a hand up to rub at the back of her neck, adjusts her glasses for good measure, “we’ve agreed that I’ll just move in with Lena for a little while. She can hire someone during the day, but I’ll be around at night and I can help with the rehab. So, um, it’s fine.”

“You’re both fucking idiots.”

_________________

“I’ve been home for an hour and I’m already regretting every choice in my life that’s lead to this point. This is humiliating.”

“Oh my gosh,” Kara laughs, “no it isn’t.”

“Kara, you’re washing my hair in the kitchen sink because I can’t even wash myself right now with this fucking cast and brace on.”

Kara grins, squirting shampoo onto her hand and setting the bottle down on the marble countertop. Lena is sitting in the wheelchair, left leg propped up on the supports. She’s leaning back with her head over the edge of the sink, rolled up towels supporting her neck and her eyes are closed. She’s frowning, but it’s the frown she wears when she’s trying too hard not to smile. It makes Kara want to kiss it right off her face. She takes a deep breath, instead.

Kara is just so grateful that she gets to see Lena like this, hair stringy from the hospital, oversize sweatshirt with one sleeve bunched up over the top of the lime green cast on her right arm. The post-surgical femoral fracture brace looks uncomfortable, but Lena hasn’t complained about it at all. So, fine, maybe this nearly debilitating urge to kiss her best friend, to ask her if the last few weeks could be real, instead of fake (not the marriage part, not now, anyway, but the relationship part sure), is getting more and more intrusive. That doesn’t mean Kara can’t continue to ignore it until Lena’s better.

She finishes washing Lena’s hair and if she takes extra time massaging in the conditioner and making sure the water temperature is absolutely perfect, well, that’s just being a good caretaker. She sets Lena up in her bedroom, then goes back to the kitchen to clean up 

“Ok, Lena,” Kara says, walking back into the bedroom. “You officially have zero edible things in your apartment. I’m going to make a list and head to the grocery store for supplies, ok? Your next meds can’t be taken on an empty stomach.”

“You’re underestimating my iron constitution.” Lena frowns unhappily in bed. “We can just order some, you don’t have to go.”

“I’ll be back in a jiffy, okay?” Kara smiles at Lena.

Sure, they could order groceries, but she wants to go get them, to pick them out herself, and bring them back. It makes her feel so good to be able to do things like this: wash her hair, go get groceries, make her something to eat. The best part of this whole terrible ordeal is that she’s gotten to take care of Lena, to show her, not just tell her, how important she is to Kara. It warms her up from the inside out.

“You sure I’m allowed to be by myself?” Lena teases, breaking Kara out of her thoughts. “I haven’t been left to my own devices in weeks now. Just imagine all the trouble I could get into.” She raises an eyebrow.

Kara laughs and shakes her head, drawn closer to Lena like a magnet. Lena’s tucked into bed, leg propped up on pillows to keep the brace comfortable, two books on the nightstand beside her, a glass of water within easy reach, and the next round of medications in a small porcelain bowl that Kara repurposed from the kitchen. Her hair is still wet from being washed, and although there are dark circles around her eyes, and her cheekbones are too sharp from the weight she lost in the hospital, Kara doesn’t think she’s ever seen anything more beautiful than Lena right at this exact moment.

She walks over to the bed and sits down next to Lena, reaching over to move the glass of water back from the edge of the nightstand and onto a coaster. “You’re going to be fine. I’ll bet you a whole order of potstickers that you’re asleep when I get back.” She reaches across Lena, adjusts the towel covering up her pillow to keep it from getting wet.

When she pulls back slightly, she’s startled by how close Lena’s face is to hers. Lena is looking at her with such unadulterated fondness, that Kara can’t help reaching up and tucking a wet tendril of hair back behind Lena’s ear. “I’ll be back so soon you won’t even know I was gone.”

“I always know when you’re gone,” Lena says, the corners of her mouth lifting up, her eyes crinkling lightly. Kara’s hand has drifted from Lena’s ear to the back of her head, her thumb brushing gently at the soft skin just below Lena’s jaw.

When she retells the story of what happens next later, Alex will roll her eyes and mutter under hear breath, but Kara will swear this is the truth: without even thinking about it, she leans forward and kisses Lena on the lips, quick and soft, then stands and turns to go, pulling her phone out of her pocket so she can start making a grocery list.

“You can drop the act now,” Lena says, a little stiffly.

“Huh?” Kara whips around, more at Lena’s tone than at her words, and looks at her in confusion. Lena’s face is bright red.

“Kara, we’re - I’m home, there’s no hospital staff to convince anymore.” She sounds a little upset and Kara, feels her forehead crinkle as she replays the last several seconds in her head: she moved Lena’s water, adjusted the towel behind her head, smoothed Lena’s hair, and…

“Oh Rao, oh gosh.” She takes a step forward, then back abruptly, as she realizes that she’s just kissed Lena on the mouth. She puts one hand on her forehead and the other on her hip, spins in a small circle. “Lena, I’m so sorry. I didn’t - ”

“It’s fine,” Lena says, her voice sounding calm and even now that Kara is having a meltdown, but her heart is doing some sort of high speed gallop in her chest and it’s giving Kara the impression that this is not actually fine.

Oh no, oh gosh… “Lena, I’m sorry, - ”

“I get it.” Lena cuts her off, holding up a hand to stop her. “The whole act, it’s a hard habit to break.” She drops her hand to the bed and laughs lightly, picking at the blanket. “Honestly I’m surprised we made it this long without accidentally doing that.”

“Accidently. Yes.” Kara’s nodding so hard, she feels like her head might come off. “It was an accident.” That might be a convenient way of putting it, but it doesn’t change the fact that Kara’s been wanting to kiss Lena, wants it to be as un-accidental as possible. And aren’t accidents things like tripping on the carpet, or spilling a drink at dinner? She may not have been thinking when she did it, but Kara knows there’s nothing accidental about that kiss.

But Lena’s giving her an out, and Kara can’t bring herself not to take it.

“I’m just going to - ” Kara gestures over her shoulder and then she flees.

“Alex, I kissed her.” Kara’s made it outside the apartment, but her heart hasn’t slowed down. She didn’t even bother making a list after walking out of Lena’s bedroom, just went straight to the elevator, dialing Alex before she’d even hit the lobby. Her stomach is squirmy, she feels like she might throw up.

“Finally,” Alex says, letting out what might be a relieved sigh.

“What do you mean finally?” Kara feels hysterical.

“I mean finally, idiot. Watching the two of you for the past three weeks has been the most painful experience of my life, I’m glad you finally did it.”

“She thinks it was because of the act!” Kara nearly yells. A man walking by looks at her, narrowing his eyes and giving her a wide berth. “She thinks it’s because of the act, Alex!”

There’s silence on the other end of the line for a moment.

“Kara Danvers, are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“No,” Kara wails. “I didn’t even mean to do it! Or, well. I meant to do it, but I didn’t know I was doing it. I was making sure she had everything she needed and then I was leaving to go to the grocery story and somewhere in the middle I kissed her! And she got kinda upset even though she said she wasn’t and she says it’s fine because it was an accident. And it was an accident, at least in the sense that I wasn’t thinking when I did it and god I didn’t even ask if she wanted to kiss me, but I meant it, Alex, I meant it.”

Kara can picture Alex right now: that tight, unhappy expression on her face, fingers pinching her nose between her eyes.

“Okay, I swore to Kelly I wasn’t going to do this, but that was before you lost your damn mind and kissed her.” Kara can hear Alex take a deep breath. “You need to go back upstairs right now and confess, Kara.”

“What?” Kara practically screeches. She spins in a circle. “No, this isn’t the right time. I’m supposed to be helping her, I’m supposed to be taking care of her, I can’t put this on her right now. What if she doesn’t feel the same, what if this ruins everything, what if - “

Thankfully Alex cuts her off. “That argument worked before you kissed her and decided to let her believe you didn’t mean to do it. And before you argue with me, you might not have known you were doing it, but you absolutely meant to do it, Kara.”

Kara is now facing Lena’s apartment and gently knocking her forehead against it.

“Kara, I heard that crack, stop headbutting the building.” Kara stops, keeps her forehead pressed to the cool limestone. Alex pauses, and her voice is gentle when she continues. “You gotta tell her, kiddo. You’ve been down the whole lying path with her before and while I don’t think this is the kind of lie that would cause her to try removing our free-will again, I do think that you guys decided on honesty as your way forward. You either own that, or you don’t.”

“You’re right. I know you’re right.” Kara squeezes her eyes shut. “If we can get through that, we can get through this.”

“That’s the spirit. And hey, if for some reason things don’t go well and you feel like you can’t stay with her? Kelly or I would be happy to swap out for you tonight. Just in case you need some space.”

“Thanks, Alex.”

“But Kara, I think you’re gonna be just fine.”

Kara doesn’t feel much better when she hangs up with Alex, but she knows her sister is right. She’s got to tell Lena.

And to be honest, Kara can’t imagine a world in which Lena would be upset with her for having feelings, regardless of whether they’re reciprocated. They’ll be able to work through this, even if it hurts for a while. She’s had friends fall in love with her before, and she’s always been able to keep them as friends afterwards. God, maybe Winn has some advice for me, she thinks.

So Kara takes a deep breath and goes back inside. Groceries can wait.

She’s trembling when she lets herself back into Lena’s apartment. It’s nerves, anticipation more than anything. She’s about to confess something that she can’t, won’t take back and it will change things between them, even if only for a while.

Lena looks up from her book when Kara makes her way back into the bedroom. She sets it down beside her hip on the bed and cocks her head.

“Well that was fast. Did Supergirl get my groceries?” She gives Kara a smile.

“I’m in love with you.” Well that’s one way to start this conversation. “And I didn’t kiss you accidentally.”

Lena’s smile drops, her eyes widening in surprise. Everything about her seems to freeze.

“Before you say anything, I need to get this out. I’m not telling you because I’m expecting anything. I don’t want anything to change, I mean, I do, clearly, but I don’t if that’s not what you want.” Kara squeezes her eyes shut and looks at the ceiling. She really should have thought this through. “I’ve known for a while, actually, I was just worried about what it might mean, if you didn’t feel the same way.” She drops her gaze back to Lena. “But then you almost died. And I pretended to be your wife. And I was planning on telling you once you’re totally recovered. Except then I kissed you without even thinking about it and I can’t lie about this, Lena. It isn’t good for either of us. So. Yeah. Just. Tell me what you need.”

Lena’s looking at her with an expression Kara can’t read, but she doesn’t look unhappy, or afraid, or upset...

“Kara, do you remember when that nurse told me my wife had shown up?”

“Yes,” Kara says, frowning, because she doesn't understand where Lena is going with this. “Of course I do, you were panicked that you’d experienced severe brain damage.”

Lena shakes her head, pats the space on the bed next to her.

Kara feels a weight lift from her shoulders: no matter how this goes, if Lena is asking her to come closer, then they’re going to be okay. She walks across the carpet.

“You’re right,” Lena says as Kara comes closer, “I was worried, but that wasn’t the only thing that made me panic.”

“What else was it?” Kara sits down and looks at her lap, bringing her hands together to fidget. She can feel Lena’s body heat next to her, but she doesn’t want to reach out unless Lena does it first. “Was it the idea of being married to me?” She laughs. She can laugh about this.

“No, darling,” Lena says. She reaches for Kara’s hands, smoothing her fingers across them to still them. Darling, that’s a good sign, right? “Kara, as terrified as I was that there was more damage, my first thought was that somehow I’d lost memories of us: of you falling in love with me, of dating and first kisses and someone proposing and a wedding.” Lena pauses and Kara stares at their joined hands. She hears more than sees Lena take a deep breath and let it out. “I’ve been in love with you for so long it broke my heart to think that those things had happened and I couldn’t remember them.”

Kara whips her head around to look at Lena. Her best friend is smiling, and her eyes are a little wet like maybe she’s overwhelmed and might cry and oh gosh, does Kara understand that feeling right now.

“You love me,” she says, feeling her own eyes start to fill with tears.

Lena nods.

“You’re in love with me,” Kara can’t help clarifying. This is something out of a dream.

Lena nods again.

“Can I…” Kara reaches for Lena’s face, trails her knuckles down Lena’s cheek and watches in awe as Lena leans into the touch.  “Can I kiss you now?”

“Yes,” Lena breaths out, smiling, and it’s blinding. “But only if it’s not an accident.”

[cassandraclare]

Various q’s, necromancy, Thomas and shadows

herondaisies said: is it possible that james will help thomas and alastair’s relationship develop? james has shown signs that he might be the first one to (forgive) alastair, and i love the possibility of james helping his (hopefully) future brother in law ☺️

James is in an odd place because he’s stuck between Cordelia, who would of course like him to be helpful to Alastair, and his friends, who are furious at Alastair. Also you are assuming James knows Alastair likes Thomas, which I can only say that as of the beginning of the book, he definitely doesn’t. Maybe he finds out. :) I’d like to think he’d be helpful if so, but he’d have to believe that Thomas wanted him to be.

wendysx said: Hi Cassie, I would like to know if we will get more chapters about Jesse, I love him with all my heart and I would love to see more of him.

And you will!

fairstalrs said: why do matthew and cordelia take a road trip?

Because Matthew is the only one with a car. :) (And they’re seeking a magical item.)

cjfritos said: Will James's power be explained more? I find it very confusing as the turning to shadow is a side effect of seeing the other world (which is his power) yet he can turn to shadow without seeing the other world. And he supposedly cant control it but has done it many times. Also could we get a Jordelia snippet soon 🙏

Well, actually that’s a bit backwards — seeing the other world is a side effect of turning to shadow rather than the other way around. And indeed, while he has willed himself into shadow in the past — and practiced controlling the power with Jem — that doesn’t mean he can always control it. I would also note that Chain of Iron makes clear James doesn’t just have one specific “shadow” power; he has a connection to Belial that plays out in a bunch of strange magic ways, most of which are not necessarily a beneficial or controllable power but just weird stuff that happens to him because of his connection to Belial. It plays out with Lucie, too: she can see Jesse while nobody else, even James, can, because of her connection to Belial  (a connection James shares, but which doesn’t play out the same way with him) which is separate from but connected to her general command-the-dead power.

As for Jordelia,  I am genuinely running out of non-spoilery stuff! Not all snippets, even if they’re just a sentence or two, are created equal. You can ruin a whole book just by sharing a sentence, if the sentence is key to the plot. So I racked my brain a bit and decided this might work ;-) 

Cordelia hesitated. James’s hands were firm and gentle on hers; she knew he would always be this way, gentle and determined, kind and thoughtful. Her heart beat hard and treacherous inside her chest. He had not been gentle in the Whispering Room. Not gentle with his hands on her body and his lips on hers. That had been the James she wanted, her one glimpse at the James she could not have.

Only two more weeks!

mrswillherondale: Hi Cassie, I just finished my reread of Chain of Gold and the whole necromancy issue with Lucie/Grace/Jesse made me wonder: Will anyone be upset at Lucie and Grace for trying to raise Jesse instead of someone else, like Grace’s parents, or Lucie’s grandparents, or Barbara Lightwood? Will Thomas be angry?

*blink* No. Wow, no. I mean, mostly people will be upset at Lucie and Grace for trying necromancy at all. Second, the only reason they are trying it on Jesse is because he is not literally dead. He has both a consciousness that continues to exist, and a body he could return to. It is a matter of joining up that consciousness and the body, which both still exist in our world, rather than trying to bring back someone whose consciousness has long ago been extinguished, and whose body has been burned to ash. So what they’re doing is not what Ty (with terrible results) tried to do in Queen of Air and Darkness, and anyone who knows them and is reasonable (and Thomas is reasonable to a fault — even Will is reasonable!) would understand that.

Thirdly, necromancy isn’t just a bad idea because it’s bad for the necromancer. It’s a bad idea because it’s potentially really bad for the person they’re trying to raise. There is every chance that necromancy can go horribly wrong. If they were to try it on Barbara, she could be brought back as a zombie, someone possessed by a demon, or in terrible screaming permanent agony. With Jesse, they have an opportunity to do what they’re doing with someone who is aware of the risks and can consent to it. Thomas (and/or Will, or Grace’s relatives) would absolutely be furious with Lucie, and by extension Grace, if they did try to bring back Barbara/Will’s parents with their rinky-dink necromantic attempts. Not the other way around.

rhosyncymreig said: Hi! Can you share with us something about Thomastair? (Non-spoilery of course)

I haven’t shared a ton about Thomastair because anything about them is spoilery. We left them not speaking to each other, so even indicating that they have had a conversation is potentially spoilery. All I can really do — especially so close to the book release — is say that yes, they do talk FRAUGHTLY, and share this particular piece of Cassandra Jean art, a scene from COI of Thomas walking away from Alastair’s house in Cornwall Gardens.

ETA: My inbox isn’t open at the moment because DEADLINES, but I will open it up this week — keep an eye on Twitter — and again after COI comes out, for questions!

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

howard stern

I'M BACK BESTIES!!!!! i'm not totally back to my normal writing, but I finally got through a whole piece! anyways I really liked this and i hope you do too :)

warnings: howard stern being a bitch, talk of weight & body image

word count: 2.1k

"Hello Harry, how are you doing today?"

"I'm well, thank you," Harry answered with a smile. He was on the Howard Stern Show, his first interview since Stevie had been born. He hadn't really wanted to; Howard was kind of a prick. Everyone knew this, but Jeff was convinced this was the right move. He said it would be good for Harry to get back into the swing of things, and no one else was available on short notice. In the end, Harry only agreed because you had pushed him to, reminding him it wouldn't be a very long interview and then he wouldn't have to interact with the abrasive man again for a long time.

"That's good to hear," Howard said. "How have you been these past couple months? Have you been getting anything done?"

"Not much that's music related, honestly," Harry laughed. "I've been busy with family things."

"Yeah, you've kind of been hiding away from the world for a while here, what's that about?"

"Well, as I'm sure you already know, my wonderful wife had a baby recently, so I've been pretty busy... just navigating the world of fatherhood." A smile crept onto his face at the mention of Stevie.

"That's a lot, isn't it? Babies are awful at that age," Howard chuckled.

"Uh- I wouldn't say awful," Harry's smile dropped a little and he sighed internally. He already knew how the rest of this interview would go: thinly veiled insults, questions that were way too personal, and having to pretend he didn't want to get up and walk out of the room. But he knew that wouldn't be a very good look for him, so he gritted his teeth and tried to think of happy things. Specifically, the fact that he would get to go home to his wife and baby in less than two hours. "She's a very sweet baby, we're completely in love with her."

"Yeah, sometimes they're cute, but mostly they just cry and wake you up in the night, don't they?" Howard asked smugly, as if he knew Harry's baby better than Harry did.

"Well, of course she wakes up in the night sometimes. She's hungry, can't blame her for wanting food, can I?" Harry asked, trying to speak lightly and with a smile, but he could feel his patience slipping. He was ready to go home and he was not in the mood to pretend to be happy when this man was clearly insulting his child.

"Sure, I just wish babies could be a bit less annoying when they want something."

Harry nodded, plastering a smile that hopefully looked real on his face.

"So, besides the annoying baby, how's the family? Everybody healthy over there?"

Harry nodded. "Everybody's happy and healthy. A little sleep deprived, of course, but we're managing well, i think. And by we, I mean Y/N. She's truly... just amazing. I have no idea how she does it- she's the one keeping everything together. There's no way I could do any of this without her."

"Yeah, she seems pretty great! I remember though, at first we were all a little uncertain about her. She's not exactly like the other women you have a history with, is she?"

"She's-" Harry started talking, but Howard cut him off.

"I just mean, we were used to seeing you with models and actresses and the like, so it was a bit of a shock to see you with one of us commoners, you know?"

Harry huffed a small laugh, still trying to sound polite. "When you love someone, that's all that matters."

"Right, of course, but don't you get bored sometimes? You stopped going out so much when you got with her, almost like she was keeping you captive or something," He laughed.

"Are you asking me if my wife forced me to stop hanging out with my friends?" Harry squinted at the man.

"No, of course not, but..." He leaned closer with a malicious gleam in his eye, like he was about to hear some big secret. "Did she?"

"No," Harry said firmly. "She did not."

"Okay, okay, if you say so," Howard put his hands up, but then he leaned in again and spoke in an exaggerated whisper. "Blink twice if you need help."

Harry played it off with a laugh, crossing his arms over his chest.

"He's good," Howard laughed loudly. "Anyways, let's move on. Since you two are supposedly so happy-" He paused again, as if he expected Harry to cut it and give some dramatic confession about how terrible his relationship was behind closed doors. Harry only raised his eyebrows, signaling him to continue talking. "Tell us about that. When did you two get married again?"

"Almost 2 years ago," Harry said with a smile. "Our anniversary is coming up, actually, it's in 3 weeks."

"Oh wow, you guys moved fast with the whole kid thing, huh?"

Harry nodded. "We both knew we wanted kids and were ready to have them, so... yeah."

"Yeah, no point wasting time, right? How was Y/N after having the baby- Stevie, right?"

"Yeah, her name is Stevie," Harry smiled. "She was good. Again, she's amazing for going through that. She's- i'm just so lucky to have her."

"Did she bounce back right away?"

"I'm sorry?" Harry's brow furrowed.

"You know, did she get her figure back fast? I know that's a big issue for some women," He laughed again.

"Are you-" All traces of Harry's smile were gone now.

"I just mean, I hope she's working to get rid of the baby weight," Howard said casually, as if his words weren't extremely rude. "Just to make sure she can fit into her old clothes!"

Harry cleared his throat. He knew he had to speak very carefully, since this was something you had been very self conscious about. "Well, the two of us are concerned with the new life she brought into the world, not some old clothes, but she looks as beautiful as ever. The amount of pressure women face to live up to certain standards is disgusting to me, and it's especially bad for new mothers. My wife just went through an incredible process, she grew an entire human being in 9 months, then went through labor and the delivery, and she's being told to worry about her figure? That's wrong."

"Right, right, of course," Howard smiled, but Harry could tell he was annoyed at how he couldn't be tricked into speaking badly about his wife.

"I'm really over the whole thing, honestly," Harry said. "And I'm not even the one going through it."

Howard laughed nervously, seeming to finally take the hint that Harry was uncomfortable and annoyed with the topic. "Let's talk about your latest movie, why don't we?"

Harry was closed off through the rest of the interview; anyone could see that. He laughed less, his arms stayed crossed, and his answers were short. He was professional, but it went no farther than that. There was no more playful joking or easy conversation, just Harry trying to get through the interview as fast as he could. When it finally came to a close after his final song, Harry couldn't pack up fast enough. He made sure to say a polite thanks and goodbye before he hurried out to his car.

He sighed deeply before picking up his phone to call you.

"Hi baby!" your happy voice came from the other end. That was good, he assumed that meant you hadn't listened to the interview yet.

"Hi love," he smiled, his mood already improving just from hearing your voice. "Did you listen to the interview?"

"I have been- I couldn't right at the beginning, Stevie was crying, but I caught the end. Why?"

"Why was she crying?" Harry ignored your question, instantly worrying about his baby.

"Sometimes babies cry for no reason, Harry. She's okay, I promise. Anyways, what's up with the interview?"

Harry sighed. "Just the normal for a Howard Stern interview- he asked some very personal and rude questions. Just prepare for that."

"What else is new?" You laughed. "Are you coming right home?"

"Yeah, unless you need anything?"

"Nope, I think I'm good. See you soon!"

"Love you, bye," Harry said, ending the call and starting the car to begin the drive home.

-----

"I'm home," Harry called, removing his coat as he walked in the door.

"We're in here," you responded, not moving from your spot on the couch where you were nursing Stevie.

Harry walked in, a small smile on his face as he looked at the two of you.

"Hi," He sighed, plopping down on the couch next to you.

"That bad, huh?" You asked, taking in his dejected tone.

He hummed in response, leaning his head on your shoulder. "Those interviews are... always something."

"Yeah, I only caught the end, but you sounded pretty upset. What did he say?"

"He just..." Harry shook his head. "I don't think you should listen to it."

You turned your head to look at him. "Why not?"

"He's just very rude and pushy, as always."

"Yeah, i figured, but I wanted to hear your songs," you argued with a small frown. "Did he say something really bad, or...?"

"He just makes some very impolite comments about you and our family."

"Oh," You nodded lightly. "I think I'll be okay, baby. I appreciate you trying to protect my feelings, but I'm used to it at this point, and I really couldn't care less about his opinion of me."

"Alright," he sighed. "If you're sure." He pulled out his phone, checking his email and going through some messages while you started the interview from the beginning. You could hear him grumbling under his breath and huffing every time Howard said something rude, but you ignored it, just laying a hand on his leg to calm him down.

By the time it was over, Harry was clearly not too happy. "I can't believe I went back on that show," he shook his head. "I'm never doing that again. I'm so sorry about what he said about you, I honestly should have just left-"

"It's okay," you cut him off with a smile. "Also, it was kind of hot to hear you get mad at him."

"Yeah?" He smiled back. "I thought I was very tame, actually. I wanted to say some other things, but I figured that wouldn't be a very good look for me."

"Right, but the way you attacked him but stayed professional... very hot," you laughed, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," He smiled, turning his head to kiss your cheek in return. "Is she done? I really need to hold her after the day I've had," He sighed dramatically, throwing his head back.

"I'm sure," you laughed, handing Stevie over to him and pulling your shirt back into place. "She's all yours."

"Hi baby," he cooed, holding her close to his chest. "I missed you so much."

Stevie yawned in response, cuddling into him.

"Oh, you missed me too?" He grinned. "See that? She missed me."

"She did," You agreed. "She was looking around when she heard your voice on the interview, she wanted to know where you were."

"I'm sorry," he pouted down at her. "I'll never go away again, and I'll never let the bad man be mean to you again."

"I don't think she's too upset about it, Harry," you laughed. "She is only 3 months old. She didn't exactly understand anything that went on."

"Excuse me," he said, looking very offended. "She may only be 3 months old, but she's very smart."

"Right, she's a genius baby, how could I forget?"

"I don't know," Harry shook his head at Stevie. "How could she forget how smart you are, hmm?"

Stevie yawned again, stretching her arms above her head.

"She's ready to take a nap," you said.

"Can I just hold her? I know it's not a good habit, to let her be held to sleep, but I don't want to put her down yet," Harry said, looking up with such pleading eyes, you couldn't possibly say no. Not like you would have said no anyways, but he didn't need to know that.

"Of course you can," you stood up, kissing his forehead before you turned away. "I'm gonna do the dishes, then we can watch something if you want."

"No, let me do those," he immediately protested.

"Harry, it's okay, I haven't done anything around the house since she was born-"

"And I'm not about to let you start now," he cut you off. "Come back here, please? Let's start that new show we were looking at the other night."

"Fine, but later I'm going to help you with the dishes."

"Fine," he smiled, agreeing with your compromise, even though you both knew he would argue later. "Now come back here."

[therenlover]

Therenlover’s Official Fanfic Glossary!

Hey hey hey! This is the place where you can find all my up-to-date fanfics linked nicely, read about what projects I have upcoming, and learn what requests I’m taking at the moment! Cheers!

This post is massive so, for the sake of your dash, everything is under the cut

A NOTE ABOUT REQUESTS!

I will do my best to fulfill any requests I get while my ask box/requests are open! That being said, I cannot promise every request will get done, and that if they do, they’ll be done in a timely manner. I’m currently working on a long-form project that needs a lot of time and energy to come out consistently, so unless I’m doing a writing event most of my writing juice will be focused on that. That being said, if you want something ask! The worst I can possibly do is direct you towards someone else who might be able to write what you want if I cant.

If I choose not to do your request based on personal preference (it makes me uncomfy/I don’t write for the character at that time/I don’t feel I can write what you want/etc.) I will do my best to contact you and let you know! That being said, if you think your ask got buried/forgotten, feel free to message me again and let me know, but please tell me when you message me if I should be looking for a prior request.

Characters/Fandoms I will write for currently

 💙 = I’m Currently Super Inspired To Write For This Character

Marvel/X-Men

Bucky Barnes

Loki

Peter Maximoff 💙

Pietro Maximoff

Helmut Zemo 💙

Hank McCoy

Ralph Bohner 💙

Vision

American Horror Story

Tate Langdon

Kit Walker 💙

Kyle Spencer (Pre- and Post- Death)

Jimmy Darling 💙

James Patrick March 💙

Kai Anderson

Fallout 4

Nick Valentine

Hancock

Star Wars

Poe Dameron

Armitage Hux 💙

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo

Finn

Han Solo

Assorted/Random

Diarmuid Ua Duibhne - FGO

Cu Chulainn/Cu Alter - FGO

Warren Lipka - American Animals 💙

Enjolras - Les Miserables

Grantaire - Les Miserables

Gabriel - Supernatural

Imagines - REQUESTS CLOSED

Songs From Musicals Y/N Would Sing To The Evans

Characters: Tate Langdon, Kit Walker, Kyle Spencer, Jimmy Darling, James Patrick March, Kai Anderson, Peter Maximoff

Rating: T

How The Evans (+ Quicksilver) Would React To Yoplait’s New Gushers Yogurt

Characters: Tate Langdon, Kit Walker, Kyle Spencer, Jimmy Darling, James Patrick March, Rory Monahan, Kai Anderson, Peter Maximoff

Rating: T

Would The Danny Bunch Survive A Holiday With My Family?

Characters: Laszlo Kreizler, Alex Kerner, Niki Lauda, Andrea Marowski, Ernst Schmidt, Helmut Zemo

Rating: T

Headcanons - REQUESTS CLOSED

Modern! AU Armitage Hux Boyfriend Headcanons

Zemo With A Well Dress S/O Headcanons

Zemo Getting Jealous Headcanons

Oneshots - REQUESTS CLOSED

Marvel/X-Men

Helmut Zemo

One Last Night In Madripoor

Synopsis: Baron Helmut Zemo is a lonely, wanted man looking for some fun, you’re a piss-poor bounty hunter in search of a connection before leaving your life of crime behind, and fate has brought you together at a party the likes of which has never been seen before. You only have one night left in Madripoor, so why not take a chance?

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 4200~

Still Some Catching Up To Do

Synopsis: As a member of the criminal underworld, people walk out of your life all the time. Some are killed, others kill themselves, most get caught and only a couple get out of the life unscathed, disappearing into the world never to be seen again. Very few walk back in. So when your supposedly incarcerated ex-lover, the Winter Soldier, and the Falcon waltzed through your door and made you murder your boss, needless to say, you were surprised and more than a little bit pissed.

Rating: 16+

Word Count: 6800~

Nine Years Starved

Synopsis: It had been a little over nine years since Helmut Zemo lost his family, his country, and his sanity. Nine years since his last kiss. Nine years since he felt like a human man. Finally, he was ready to start over again, but first, he had to pay his penance back where it all began; Novi Grad. That’s when, by the grace of the fates, he met you.

Rating: G

Word Count: 7000~

Daddy Dearest

Synopsis: Not everyone gets lucky enough to go from being a broke college student in New York to being the sugar baby to literal royalty, but not everyone is you. Most people would be worried about messing things up or losing him to someone else, but you knew he would never find another baby just like you. Besides, you knew exactly what to do to keep him wrapped around your little finger. He may have been the daddy, but you pulled the reins.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 8000~

In Fleeting Touches & Airy Sighs

Part One   Part Two   Part Three   Part Four

Synopsis: As a wanted man, Helmut Zemo spends most of his time jumping from place to place in the hopes of avoiding a trip back to prison. Unfortunately, that means he can’t always be home in your arms. When he is, though, in the rare moments of calm, you’re reminded of just how worth it it’s been to wait, even if that wait was only shortened by the arrival of your enemies.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 35,700~

Two Bodies In The Rain

Synopsis: It was raining the day you finally had to admit your feelings to Helmut. You hated to tell him the way you did, under the grey skies as your blood pooled below you, but at least you knew, in the end, he had seen the real you, even just once. That was enough.

Rating: T

Word Count: 5600~

Rest

Synopsis: Living life on the lam with your escaped super-villain lover means things rarely slow down enough for a real rest. When the exhaustion starts to take its toll on you, though, he knows exactly what to do to ease the pain. He may not be a good man, but he’s a good husband when it counts.

Rating: T

Word Count: 3200~

American Horror Story

Jimmy Darling

Red Nights In Jupiter

Synopsis: At the end of another long day, you fall into bed with Jimmy Darling. The men you served throughout the day don’t matter then, nor do the coins in the mason jar by the door, or the women scheduled to attend Jimmy’s next Tupperware party. No, in that quiet darkness it’s just you and the man you love, bone-tired and happy to be home. Who could ask for more?

Rating: 16+

Word Count: 3000~

James Patrick March

Heartsick

Synopsis: When you fall ill, James is given a forceful awakening about how he’s been neglecting your needs and what he must do to prevent harm from befalling you again.

Rating: 16+

Word Count: 3700~

In Sickness And In Health

Synopsis: Normally people don’t have their wedding and funeral on the same day, but you and James don’t quite have a normal relationship, do you? Besides, you wouldn’t wanna go any other way.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 5500~

Fallout 4

Currently Empty

Star Wars

Currently Empty

Assorted/Random

Currently Empty

Long Form Works/Series

Young Artist!Zemo AU

Chapter One: The Boy With The Easel

Synopsis: About a month into your first semester at Novi Grad’s top university, you finally meet the strange young man that you’ve taken to calling “easel boy” in the back of a bookshop. From a distance, he always seemed cold and aloof. As you get to know him, though, you realize things aren’t always what they seem.

Rating: T

Word Count: 7000~

Till Forever Falls Apart (A Peter Maximoff/Reader Series)

Chapter One: Welcome Home

Synopsis: As if getting thrown through the multiverse, trapped in an attic (albeit a cool one), mind-controlled to manipulate his grieving sister, and subsequently dragged out of Westview “for his own safety” by the FBI wasn’t enough, Peter Maximoff has now been shipped off to New York to live with a glorified baby sitter like some tragic orphan in a comic book until they find a way to get him back home. Things are not always as they seem, though, and this change might just be for the better.

Rating: T

Word Count: 2400~

Chapter Two: The Doctor Is In

Synopsis: Peter’s first few days in his new home are mostly uneventful, so he decides it’s the perfect time to dust off his running goggles and steal some shit. The building with the massive circular stained glass window seems like a great place to start! People with buildings that lavish are usually rich and weak, so what could possibly go wrong?

Rating: T

Word Count: 2800~

Chapter Three: It’s Always Been You

Synopsis: After a month of adapting to his new universe, Peter Maximoff can confidently say that he likes his new life more than his old one. Sure, he misses home sometimes, but he’s been far too busy flirting with his new roommate to spend time crying over the things he’s lost. Everything is smooth sailing until a strange journal in his roommate’s study leaves him with more questions than he knows what to do with. Now he’s on a mission to discover who he’s really living with before she has the chance to turn against him.

Rating: T

Word Count: 8600~

Chapter Four: Before You Go

Synopsis: Peter, after days of contemplation, has realized that part of him loves Y/N no matter what she is or what she’s been through. Unfortunately, he can’t find her anywhere. When she finally returns home with the intention of leaving again, Peter realizes it’s his last chance to tell her how he really feels. Will he succeed, or will he fail to be fast enough once again?

Rating: T

Word Count: 4000~

Chapter Four And A Half: Gimme Swayze

Synopsis: Now that the issue of Y/N leaving is out of the way, and Peter has finally kissed her, he falls into the motions of learning how to love someone for the first time. It’s easier than he thought it would be.

Rating: T

Word Count; 2600~

Cakes For The Evans: A Blogging And Baking Adventure!

Kai Anderson’s Disaster Cake

Hey you! If you’ve made it this far down the list, thanks for supporting me as an author! I’ll be linking my AO3 here. I post everything there shortly before I post it here, and there are some older fics there you might enjoy along the way! It’s also easier to drop comments over there and I keep them open for non-members, so give me a shout if you liked what I wrote!

I love you all, you make me so happy, and without you support I would never be motivated to write! Cheers!

[stuff-from-the-void-matron]

Laurel Wreaths & Animal Teeth (9)

(c!technoblade x fem!reader)

(so people showed they liked chapter 8 well enough so I wrote chapter 9! also how miffed would everyone be if... this was also maybe a dreamxd x reader fic? like idk i’m just having some persuasive thoughts. also don’t forget to show this chapter some love or I won’t have the motivation to do chapter 10! reblogs and comments are the best! <3)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wilbur did not like this ‘Reader’ person. God she was just as bad as Quackity, coming into L’manberg and making demands and acting like they even HAD a say in HIS country. Now more than ever he wished he’d have just exiled Quackity instead of humoring him with this ridiculous election. There shouldn’t BE an election. HE was the rightful president of this country! He fought and died for this country. Put his blood, sweat, and tears into it! HIM! Not them! 

“-ur?”

This whole election thing was a mistake. He should have just listened to his gut.

“ilbur?”

But he’d been pressured by everyone to ‘be fair’ or whatever. Nobody knew what was best for L’manberg but HIM. 

“Wilbur!”

The curly brunet jolted a bit at the sudden shout to his left, he blinked and felt himself unfurrow his eyebrows before looking over at his vice president. Said teenager was looking at him curiously, eyebrows raised in a questioning way. No doubt wondering what his friend was doing just standing there silently and chewing on his thumbnail like a madman. He was still tense but gave a quick ‘sorry’ before saying he was just lost in thought.

Tommy gave a semi awkward laugh and joked that it looked like he was trying to catch the wall he was staring at on fire just by staring at it. Wilbur gave a polite chuckle at the younger man’s attempt at mood lightening humor before sobering instantly and saying in a deadly serious tone that had the blond stiffening up anxiously,

“I don’t like this ‘Reader’ person you’ve been hanging out with Tommy. She seems really judgmental and arrogant. Not to mention her attitude. She’s argumentative and childish. She very clearly doesn’t care about you or L’manberg.”

That last part hit Tommy right in the chest like the blow from a size 12 boot. How could Wibur say that? You did care! You did! You wouldn’t have-.. People who don’t care wouldn’t-.. 

Tommy’s hurt showed on his face, making Wilbur sigh in sympathy before clapping the younger boy on the shoulder and saying that it would be best for him to just focus on the L’manberg election. This Reader person was just serving as a distraction from Tommy’s job as vice president anyways. And Tommy didn’t want that, right? Wilbur had entrusted him to be his VP over everyone else. He couldn’t slack on that, right? Tommy just gave a mumbled ‘yeah, s’pose not’ but it was clear he didn’t have his heart in it, though that was all the affirmation Wilbur needed to think the conversation was over..

-0-

You sat in the audience with Tubbo and Fundy for a bit while the candidates talked to each other up on the stage. Fundy seemed sweet, if not a bit mischievous. Though you supposed that should be expected from a fox hybrid. You smiled when his ears went back after you asked why his uniform was a lighter color than the others, unable to not think he looked adorable. But when he huffed, pretty obviously upset but trying not to show it, you frowned. And you pursed your lips when he explained that it was in ‘baby colors’ because Wilbur thought it would be cute for his ‘little champion’ to have a different uniform compared to everyone else.

You couldn’t help but awkwardly ask, “Aren’t you an adult though?” To which Fundy gave a slightly loud and exasperated, “YES!” that made you feel sorry for the poor hybrid. You gave him a reassuring look and said that well if he didn’t like the uniform then he didn’t have to wear it. Or if he liked it save for the color then just dye it darker to match the others. Fundy looked a bit put out and replied that he’d thought about dying it or just not wearing it but then his dad would be all depressed and hurt. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes and say that he shouldn’t set himself on fire to keep others warm.

“You don’t have to do whatever your dad wants you to just because he’s your dad or cuz he’ll be sad. You’re an adult now Fundy. It’s time you make decisions for yourself in mind, not your dad.”

Fundy started up at you with wide eyes, like he’d never heard anyone tell him that before. Which was worrying but you put it out of your mind before continuing,

“Caring about others is important, yes. But you can’t let yourself be miserable just to avoid maybe making your dad sorta bummed out. That doesn’t seem fair to you.”

Tubbo chimed in from his spot to your left and said that the uniform was a symbol of their independence from the Dream Smp, they wore it to show they were loyal to L’manberg. He didn’t say it accusingly or even angrily, just in a factual matter-of-fact way. You said that might be true but then asked why Fundy’s uniform was different? Shouldn’t they all look the same if they supposedly stood for the same thing? If they’re meant to have a deeper meaning then they shouldn’t be altered for a joke. You said he had to see how that would make Fundy feel left out. You asked how Tubbo would feel if he were the only one with a different uniform and stood out. The brunet boy’s goatish ears drooped and he mumbled that he’d be sad. You ruffled his hair and turned back to Fundy.

“Look Fundy, if you wanna keep wearing the uniform as it is, that’s fine. If you wanna wear it but only after altering the color, that’s also fine. But if you wanna drop the uniform altogether then that’s fine too. It’s up to you, Fundy.”

Fundy looked contemplative, like he’d never thought he’d had a choice in the matter. But here he was with three whole options thanks to you. He honestly wasn’t sure which one he’d end up choosing, he had a lot to think about. But he gave you a grateful little smile and soft ‘thanks’ that made the corners of your lips quirk up. Though your chat soon came to an end when Fundy saw Niki approaching. He and Tubbo waved happily to her and gestured for her to come over. She stared up at you with mostly hidden surprise and said hello before Fundy introduced you both. Niki looked almost shy as she gave a short wave up to you. You chuckled and greeted her warmly and said you liked her uniform, pointing out hers was a different color than the others, like Fundy’s. She looked down at her blue version of the L’manberg uniform and flashed a grin and said,

“Yeah, I just liked the lighter blues better than the bright red and navy.”

You brightened and gently tapped Fundy’s shoulder with the back of your hand and cheerfully pointed out that if Niki could choose to alter her uniform from the original she was given then he should be able to do the same no problem. His ears twitched happily and he grinned, showing off his canines and nodding. This led Niki to asking him what you meant and him explaining he wasn’t happy with how his uniform was dyed. She agreed with you, if he wasn’t happy then he should change the color. But she joked that he should avoid any bright greens… Fundy let out a bark of laughter before Niki gasped and pointed out they, as in she and Fundy, had to go get ready. Tubbo raised an eyebrow and asked if they were still planning on running in the election. Fundy sighed and said yes, like he’d been giving that same answer repeatedly. He probably had been, sadly.. 

“Oh, you’re both running for president and vice president?” You asked good naturedly. 

Fundy nodded, waiting for you to give some kind of remark about him running, or how it was against his dad, or something else. But instead you just flashed him an encouraging smile and wished him and Niki good luck. You glanced at the fox hybrid and the blonde next to him before nodding and commenting that they both looked smart, with good heads on their shoulders. You thought they’d do just fine. Fundy’s tail was wagging from the genuine encouragement, making Niki giggle a little. The two did actually have to go get ready, so you and Tubbo said good luck and waved them off before chatting about this and that. The election speeches would be starting soon..

-0-

He was watching her again. 

He couldn’t help it. He’d started watching her just to ensure she wasn’t going to pose a threat to the server, but the more he watched her the more he started to actually enjoy it. She was like him and Drista, maybe not exactly, but more than anyone else on the server. But at the same time she was so incredibly different. Seeing her interact with villagers and mobs and now players was intriguing. She was so much more powerful than all of them combined, but she had no trouble blending in like she was just another player. End sake, most of them even seemed to gravitate towards her!

The only other time he’d seen a deity blend in so well with mortals was… Dream. But he tried not to think about that too much.

His currently invisible form phased through the building he’d been lurking beside, going up until he had a better view of the seats in the audience by the stage. He watched her and the small hybrid boy she’d endeared herself to bid a fox hybrid and blonde girl goodbye before taking their seats. He watched her sit and talk happily with the brown haired boy so easily. He wanted to learn to do that. It may be foolish but he wants to be like her. Happy, open, accepted, loved. He’s powerful, yes. He’s the most powerful being on this server without a doubt. But… it gets lonely. Sure Drista is around sometimes but she sleeps so often, preferring her dream world more than the waking one. And Dream… well that’s complicated. 

His brother and him have a… tense relationship after the whole ‘falling from grace’ debacle that happened so long ago. Dream barely speaks to him anymore. Actually the last time they’d spoken face to face was after that silly little war Dream had been in not too long ago. He’d told him that he just wanted to sleep afterwards. At the time he didn’t bother to involve himself in the daily lives of the server’s players like Dream did so he wasn’t exactly sure of the intricacies of the whole ‘disagreement’ that led to the fighting. But according to Dream some players wanted to govern themselves because drugs? It all sounded utterly stupid to him so he just sort of didn’t absorb any of the details Dream was complaining about. To him it seemed like the more involved with the players Dream got the more stressed out and tired he became. Though he hadn’t spoken to Dream since their last talk when Dream had vented about all of this. 

‘Perhaps I should visit my brother soon,’ the floating entity thought with a hum before he faded from the realm, drifting back to the End.

-0-

Some time had passed and during it you chatted with Tubbo casually, idly noting all the people who started to trickle into the seats around you. You recognized most in one way or another. Some more than others. Like you’d watched a good deal of the ‘main characters’ on the dsmp. And while you knew the names and skins of the lesser involved players you didn’t watch their videos much. Like Callahan, Punz, and Ponk. You knew the bare bones info about them. In fact most of what you knew was from clips and animatics you’d seen on youtube..

You tuned back into the election, watched from the front row as the rally began. It looked like Quackity was going first, alone too it seemed since George was nowhere to be found. Apparently he was ‘too busy being gorgeous’ to bother showing up. You pursed your lips when you noticed Quackity was sounding a touch nervous at first. Which you could understand, speaking in front of a crowd was always tough. Especially if you’re not really used to it, which even then you’d heard that public speakers said they never truly got rid of the jitters going out in front of a crowd causes. So you sent some good vibes to Quackity, he may not be the one you necessarily want winning this election but.. well you don’t want him to embarrass himself either. But it turns out he.. didn’t do great but didn’t bomb either. It didn’t help that the others running were making little comments through his speech. 

He spoke about caring about the people of L’manberg and how his endorsement was KSI, despite the fact KSI hadn’t replied back to him. Not a great start. Also Jesus Christ himself apparently. That had actually made you laugh a little. And you laughed louder when you heard the chime to signify you’d gotten a message, only in multiple around you. Turns out everyone had gotten a message from Dream on the main channel. 

<Dream> god endorses swag2020

Quackity laughed, cheering loudly while Wilbur rolled his eyes and Tommy sighed. Then it was Pog2020’s turn to show off their endorsements. The first of which being Vikkstar it seemed. You couldn’t help but think it was so surreal to see these… well normal people from real life being canon characters in the Dream SMP universe… apparently. Well that seemed to make the crowd go wild in disbelief and amusement while Tommy pounded his fist on the podium triumphantly while Wilbur cheered. After that Wilbur shoved Tommy aside so he could speak into the podium and said he also brought in an endorsement. And then he introduced…. Schlatt. You wanted to facepalm so bad. You’d actually forgotten this part from the videos. It had totally slipped your mind that Wilbur was the reason Schlatt even knew about the damn election in the first place. 

And to top it off the man was clearly drunk or at least hungover. He didn’t even seem to know where the hell he was. Idly you wondered when he got unbanned by Dream as you watched the messages from Schlatt roll through on the message system. It was mostly him asking where the fuck he was and if the ‘big fuckin’ wall’ he was next to was the Great Wall of China. You facepalmed and heard Tommy say he was going to go fetch him. Quackity was laughing and saying one of their endorsements was ‘some old man’, and you rolled your eyes because little duck boy was gonna be engaged to that ‘old man’ soon.. But you kept that tidbit to yourself. Though when Quackity called the ram hybrid ‘babe’ and he said to not call him that, making Quackity laugh you raised an eyebrow, figuring they were already together! Nonchalantly you wondered how much stuff you’d missed.

And then came the yelling.

Schlatt started rambling about how democracy was overrated and he didn’t ‘need a president’, how he’d be his own president. All while Tommy and Wilbur tried to talk over him and get him off the stage. Then he started shit talking Quackity, asking everyone if they really wanted HIM to be their president. Then he went on a tangent about how Quackity’s vice president ‘stole his woman’, which just caused everyone to laugh, even you. You have to admit, the man was funny if nothing else. Made you wish he wasn’t an alcoholic drug using abusive asshole. Blah Blah Wilbur stole his heart, blah blah Coconut 2020, etc that you were half listening to.

About then is when Tommy, still laughing at this whole debacle, glanced down and noticed you and Tubbo sitting in the front row. He gave a bright grin and waved to you both, to which you both smiled and waved back. This little interaction somehow managed to catch Schlatt’s attention, even through his booze addled ramblings. He just stopped mid sentence and stumbled over to Tommy and asked that the fuck he was even doing. Tommy gave an awkward laugh and said he was just waving hello to his friends. Schlatt gave him a ‘wtf’ look and scanned the crowd for who the blond boy was talking about. His horizontal oval pupils finally landed on Tubbo, making the boy give a slightly stiff wave to the older male. Schlatt stared at the boy for almost a full 20 seconds, making Tubbo sweat nervously. 

You could almost tell yourself that you saw a flash of recognition in the goat hybrid’s eyes, but before you could blink it was gone and he was instead turning to look at you. Your eyebrows lowered as his gaze perked up and a grin you’re not above describing as ‘sleazy’ crossed his features. His eyes raked over your form, making you give him an unamused look. Schlatt leaned over to Tommy, missing how the teen sorta leaned away from him, and asked who ‘the baddie with the fat ass’ was. Tommy grimaced and replied saying for the other man to not say something so gross. 

“That’s Reader, don’t say nasty shit about her man!”

Schlatt laughed and told the younger man to not be such a little bitch, he had to see how hot this woman was! The hair, the horns, the ASS! Before Schlatt could continue to make lewd comments about your person Quackity smacked him with a golden carrot and started cursing him out in Spanish. While the two argued Wilbur went up to the microphone and said that the ACTUAL people running were going to be going into the White House to have a little chat and they’d be right back. Then he and Tommy ran off, Quackity, Schaltt, Niki, and Fundy hot on their heels. Leaving the stage totally empty. Everyone in the audience gave each other side glances before looking up when you stood from your chair and headed to the podium. 

Tubbo blinked in surprise before hopping up and following after you, calling your name and asking where you were going. You ruffled his hair and said you just wanted to say one thing to everyone in attendance. He hummed and followed after you, curious to see what you were up to. You knew the outcome of the election, sadly, and didn’t think there was any way to change it really. But you wanted to impart some wisdom onto the citizens of L’manburg really quick before all those dorks came back after finishing their nonsense. So you sat down on the stage, legs hanging over the side by the podium, and grabbed the mic and sighed before saying to the crowd down below,

“Listen up everyone. I’m not part of the other campaigns or anything, but I wanted to just say something real quick to all of you.”

The crowd watched you with rapt attention, wondering who on the SMP you were. You started off with a light chuckle, saying you’d never been a public speaker so if you started rambling and not making a ton of sense then that was why. Then you took a breath and just said what was on your mind.

“I’m not here to endorse anyone or try to convince you to vote for this or that person. I just wanted to say that despite all the shenanigans going on today that this is actually supposed to be pretty serious. Goofing off aside, you all are going to be voting for the person in charge of your country. The person tasked with ensuring you are all safe and cared for. Being president is a big responsibility. One that shouldn’t be taken lightly.”

You looked at each person in the crowd, lots you knew OF but didn’t know personally. But you made sure to tell them what you thought a president should be.

“Being president shouldn’t be about having glory or power. It should be about working to make sure all your citizens are safe, happy, and above all; THRIVING. If the citizens are miserable or not being heard then the president has failed. So I want you all to think hard about who you want to vote into office. Who do you think will honestly care for your needs as a country? Who will defend you and ensure you’re all living your best lives?”

The crowd seemed to be listening to you, none of them had interrupted you anyways. And Tubbo was smiling, having apparently thought you’d done a good job speaking. But you heard the sound of approaching voices and sighed again. You’ve been sighing a lot today, but that’s not really a surprise is it? Instead of dwelling on it you conclude your speech with a simple,

“Just keep in mind who you’re voting for, because you’re going to be stuck with them for the next few years.”

Then you placed the microphone back on the podium and grabbed Tubbo around the waist, and to the boy’s shock you jumped down from the roughly 8 block high stage. He let out an involuntary high pitched yelp of shock that was abruptly cut off when you both landed on the ground unharmed. He blinked then started laughing, which made you begin to snicker. He shoved your shoulder and called you a bastard for freaking him out. You just teased him for even thinking you’d let him get hurt. He changed the subject when everyone saw Schlatt coming over, though you could tell he was happy to hear you cared. But the moment was over once Schlatt stumbled into the audience, looking more than a little out of it. He hobbled over to the bed Tommy had put down for him before he’d gone on stage and collapsed down onto it, for some reason in mismatched armor and clutching carrots. You had no idea where he got any of that stuff because he’d shown up with nothing but the suit on his back you thought.

But then Wilbur, Tommy, and Schlatt all came back from wherever they’d been while talking. And it didn’t look like they’d come to any peaceful resolution, though you’re not surprised. And you’re even further unsurprised when Quackity announced he was going to be pooling his votes with Schlatt. But that right now the debate was over and they just had to let the voting go on until the next day. So with that Wilbur ended the rally and bid everyone a pleasant rest of their day. And soon everyone had dispersed, leaving Tubbo and you waiting by the stairs that led up to the stage. Tommy walked down with Wilbur, the older of the two looking pensive. But as you all walked down the main path it seemed Wilbur was deep in thought. You watched him while Tommy and Tubbo chatted, but as the cobble path turned to wood the older brunet said he’d see them tomorrow and walked off to who knows where.

Then Tubbo gave you and Tommy a secretive glance and said to follow him, which you both did without complaint. That’s when the brown haired boy started saying he’d been ‘hoping for the best but planning for the worst’. Tommy asked what he was going on about, ‘planning for the worst’?? So Tubbo explained that he’d made a little thing for if things went bad. That’s when you noticed he was leading you both far from the main area and towards the edge of the L’manberg territory by one of the border walls. And there hidden under the water thanks to some craft sign placement was a hidden entrance into a secret tunnel. All of which led to a bunker. Tommy was in disbelief at the sight, frantically asking his best friend when the hell he’d even had time to make this! Tubbo just gave a vaguely cryptic reply of, “I don’t sleep.” Which you scolded him for. You placed a hand on his head and rocked it back and forth a little roughly and said he was a growing boy who needed sleep! 

“Sleep is when your body grows! If you don’t sleep you’ll be short forever!” You huffed.

That made Tommy burst out into borderline hysterical laughter while Tubbo shouted in outrage. You laughed a little and easily blocked the hits Tubbo was weakly trying to land on you. But once they both settled down Tubbo actually showed off the supplies, like potions and such, he’d prepared for Tommy and Wilbur should anything go sour. Tommy, still shocked but appreciative, thanked his friend and said they should go tell Wilbur. They asked if you wanted to come or if you’d like to sleep for the night. You just shrugged and said you weren’t really tired. But you told them THEY needed sleep however. 

They groaned but you shushed them and made them go back to their place and sleep. They said they didn’t have a bed for you but you just pulled out a book and said you’d read by the fire until it was time to read the election results. They complained that they weren’t tired but you hushed them and said you could see how they were more sluggish compared to how they’d been that morning. And after some weak whining they eventually gave in and placed their beds down, took their armor off, and crawled under the blankets. Meanwhile you sat by the furnace, book in hand and hummed to yourself softly as you read. The two boys fell asleep faster than usual, chalking it up to the busy day they had. Not thinking to link it to feeling safe as they laid in bed.

-0-

It felt like barely an hour had passed before the sun was creeping up over the horizon. You’d finished going through the enchantment book forever ago, and it sat on your lap while you stared down at the fire in the furnace. You wondered when the election results would be read out and breathed in slowly, feeling tired but not physically. With nothing else to do you got busy making some breakfast. Just something simple, eggs with toast. But it worked to wake the two boys up, the smell of the fresh food rousing them to the land of the living. They practically devoured the breakfast before slipping their armor on and saying they should go now. It was a decent time to start the day. So they led you along to Wilbur, who had been in the midst of leaving his ball house. The two boys said they had something secret to tell him, and he actually hadn’t wanted to talk ‘government topics’ with you around. You rolled your eyes behind your mask but agreed to go wait by the stage until they were done.

So you sat alone in the audience, watching people slowly arrive as you did. Ponk was the first, his signature fire colored mask and lab coat(?) revealing who he was. Then right after was HBomb, dressed almost like a pirate for some reason? Or maybe he was a referee? He was in black and white stripes with a headband so you’re unsure, could go either way. And then Punz with his stylish white hoodie and gold chain. Then you saw Niki coming down to greet Eret. He was in full netherite and nobody gave her a second glance which sorta surprised you. They’d betrayed everyone hadn’t he? You admit you don’t know much about her. But they seem to be on good terms with Niki at any rate. Regardless he stood to the side, not really sitting with anyone. So maybe things weren’t as gucci as you thought. You were distracted from thinking about it as a man in a L’manberg uniform and headset arrived. Jack Manifold you think. Walking past him was George and Dream. 

You narrowed your eyes at Dream, something about him felt off? Which was weird considering you’d never met the man in person before so you’re not sure how you could tell if he was ‘off’ or not. But something about him was just… weird. Maybe it was the hood and mask obscuring his entire upper body save for some dirty blond hair poking out from said hood. Or maybe how his body moved fluidly like a person but… it also didn’t seem to be in the right proportions. His arms and legs felt a teeny bit too long while his torso seemed shorter than it should be. 

‘Maybe it’s the cut of the hood and pants making it look that way..’ you thought to yourself.

Wilbur speaking suddenly caught your attention, and when you looked up at the stage you saw all the candidates standing there while Tubbo was hurrying over to the seat you’d saved for him next to you. Seemed they were starting now. The little goat hybrid gave you a nervous smile before focusing on the results. Wilbur started reading but paused to ask Tommy why he was standing with his own mic, and then said he should be standing behind him. You watched them bicker a second before Wilbur gave in and let Tommy stand with his own mic. You smiled and shook your head fondly when Tommy gave a silent cheer for himself ‘winning’ that one. Once that was done Wilbur began explaining what was going to happen. They weren’t just reading off the results, they were also going to be inaugurating the winner as president. And then explained how the new president would make a decree and how the first decree was very important.

“My fellow L’manbergians, and by that I mean Ponk, HBomb, and Tubbo. And the others in the crowd as well, including Tommy’s tall friend…” he said while gesturing to you. 

Tubbo loudly cheered for Wilbur, making Tommy and Quackity laugh. You giggled a little at his antics but mostly kept silent to hear. Wilbur announced he had the election results in his hands, then held up an envelope and continued by reading off the four competing parties: POG2020, SWAG2020, COCONUT2020, and SCHLATT2020. And there had been a total of 220,000 votes. This of course confused everyone and Quackity pointed out there were barely 10 people in the audience, so how had so many votes been cast. Wilbur let out a tired sigh and elaborated, saying he’d accidentally opened the vote… to all the other servers when he’d broadcasted the election live…

Everyone started kicking up a fuss, some upset strangers from other servers were weighing in on a server they weren’t even a part of while others found this all hysterically hilarious. Wilbur settled the crowd down and explained there’d been some voter fraud as well, but he’d gotten rid of all the votes that had come from the same communicator protocol. But then he pointed out that all the fraud votes were only voting for one party.. then stared directly at Fundy and Niki. They glanced away from everyone else and Quackity said through laughter that they should be disqualified. Tommy agreed and said there was only one coder in the Coconut2020 party.. But Wilbur sighed when Fundy was silent before saying diplomatically that they should count all the votes regardless of their CP address… Everyone started laughing until Wilbur shushed them and started actually reading off the results, finally.

“In last place is Coconut2020 with 5%,” Fundy and Niki cheered for the votes they did get. Tommy gave them a slightly sarcastic congratulations while Quackity cackled. Then Wilbur continued,

“Then in second to last place with 9% is Schlatt2020…” That was actually surprising to everyone since Schlatt was a very charismatic guy on most fronts and usually never had issues with luring people to his side.

The current president turned to look at Quackity and George then glanced at Tommy and said that the two final running parties were Pog2020 and Swag2020, and coming in third place was…. Swag2020 with 22%. And Pog2020 with 31%. Tommy’s eyes went wide and he practically screamed his joy, nearly tripping backwards in his excitement. He rushed up to Wilbur and demanded to know if they’d won, and when Wilbur said they did Tommy missed the rest of the statement telling him to wait. The blond boy was too thrilled to stop and listen and without thinking he yelled down to you,

“MUM I WON THE ELECTION! WE WON!!” practically bouncing off the stage. 

You gave him a grin, mentally cooing over him calling you mom and not even noticing but inside your stomach was churning as you waited for the other boot to drop.. And after Wilbur calmed Tommy he made clear that Quackity and Schlatt had made a deal to pool their votes. Meaning together they had 31% as well. Meaning it’s a tie. This caused an uproar between the parties, everyone seemingly arguing while you puzzled over it being a tie! That hadn’t happened originally… But it was Niki who quieted everyone and pointed out something rather jarring…

“All four of our votes only equal up to be 67%... there’s a chunk of votes missing!”

Everyone was silent before George barked out a ‘what the hell?!’ that made everyone start arguing again. Schlatt was insisting that Wilbur counted them wrong while Quackity demanded they be recounted. Meanwhile Wilbur adamantly said he’d counted right and they were wrong. It took Tommy snatching the slip of paper out of his hand that had the election results typed out on them to get Wilbur to stop shouting. As Tommy read the list of results he mentally counted up the percentages and frowned before saying Niki was right, that was only like 67%! But then Fundy chimed in and asked what was written on the back. Confused Tommy turned the paper over and his eyes went wide. He was in shock and spoke in a normal tone, which just got drowned out by everyone. Seeing he was being ignored he shouted,

“OI! DICKHEADS! You missed the ‘other’ section of the votes!”

That grabbed Wilbur’s attention easily, he’d forgotten all about the ‘other’ voting option. And hadn’t even known anything was written on the back of the slip of paper. He ripped it out of Tommy’s grasp and rushed to read the back, his voice getting more subdued as he spoke…

“With the most votes at 33% is…. Reader..”

---

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