#It's like. if I could just save the $200-500 I have to spend on my car every few months.. maybe I could afford another car by now

[jankwritten]

why are my hyperfixations never on anything cheap, bro. it's always gotta be ENAMEL PINS or MECHANICAL KEYBOARDS or BOOKS or ARTWORK and PENS. and broken glass. i guess that one is kinda cheap.

[kittlyns]

If I don't win the lottery or find an old person to leave me their entire fortune........... idk how I'm gonna do it haha

[prettycottagequeer]

ok maybe I'm a little late to this BUT I'm gonna do a to-do list motivation thingy because I've had the worst two weeks since I started college :)

SO these I should start on asap:

50 I make the snack I really want but I haven't had the motivation to make

100 I clean my dorm. another thing I've been meaning to do for a week

150 I do the presentation about mid-victorian fashion I've been putting off (due Monday)

200 I start memorizing the monologue that was due a week ago (now due Tuesday)

these can wait longer:

300 I spend time outside. It's so nice but I'm getting stuck scrolling because I feel like shit. vicious cycle ect

500 I start setting a better weekend routine (aka getting up before noon)

1k I start working out again. I was doing a routine to get more masc and build muscle and I liked it but life hit me like Crowley driving the Bentley and I've missed like 3 weeks

2k I buy my first binder. I've been coping with sports bras for almost a year now and I haven't been able to justify spending $50+ on a binder even though I know I'd love it and use it everyday.

Do I tag people? I don't know but I'm going to. @the-globe-theatre-maggot @weirdly-specific-but-ok @howmanyholesinswisscheese

here's just some context if you want to read, feel free to skip. some of this I've talked about in the maggot server, some I haven't, but I really just need a place for this to go that's out of my head. tw homophobia, transphobia, car crash(??)

How I Have Been Run Over By The Bentley Going 90 In Central London What Feels Like 50 Times In The Last Two Weeks

I'm going to college about 4 hours away from my parents, and it's been really nice. They.. suck, to say the least. transphobic/homophobic ect, super traditional conservative catholic, racist, all of it. so i tried to move somewhere where I wouldn't have to think about them and I could be myself and do what I can to be happy. March 1st was the start of my spring break, which meant going home because the dorms close. I was already not excited, but I was prepared. the problem with being away from home is I forget just how bad they are. My optimism gets the better of me and I think maybe this time they'll be better. so I decided to not hide my septum piercing.

that was a mistake. it starts a whole fight where they say we know you're trans, you're actually a girl and you always will be, we have the bones argument, they think I'm being influenced by demons or something (if only they knew about crowley) because I want to change my name, and they tell me that going on t will completely ruin my body and give me cancer and other things. They're also mad about my dyed hair, septum, and general style, and say I'm setting a terrible example for my (5) younger siblings and make it a point to tell me just how much of a disappointment I am. I think I'm pretty cute and fun but y'know, whatever. very fun time. I lie so much, don't give them any more details about my identity, and say I'm not planning to go on t to save my ass. which is all on instinct which makes me feel worse because if I'm really trans I should be able to stand up for that, right? maybe I'm faking the dysphoria.

the next morning I wake up really sick, and spend the rest of the week sick and feeling like shit because I'm home and back in the same place and situation I was a year ago that I thought I escaped. at one point I pretty much lose my voice but also kind of get gender euphoria from it. it's weird.

On Friday it's time for me to drive back 4 hours to school, and I make it about 3/4 of the way when google maps takes me on a random gravel road and I crash my car, really crash my car, like sideways-in-a-ditch-windows-broken-crawling-up-out-the-door crash it in the middle of nowhere. (I was fully paying attention to the road, it was raining and super slick) I call my parents because I have no one else to call and I sit in a Subway for 3 hours while they drive to get my car. when they get there they're (understandably) really mad, and they tell me that I'm not mature enough to be going to school so far away and I need to get my shit together and stop depending on them. which. is probably true. but made me feel even more stupid about the fact that I crashed my car. I get back to school and I'm still Very Sick with no energy or motivation to do anything. So I've spent the last week trying to get better and honestly to do anything. it hasn't really worked. I'm a lot better health-wise (Not emotionally), still sick but I have a lot of work due, so I really need a push to get started

[bumbllee]

New ana game

Hi everyone! Okay, so i just thought of a new ana game and I think it's really cool, if you try it please tell me how it went^^

So basically you have your every day allowance, just it's not money but instead calories. Your allowance is up to you, it just has to be between 200-600. Now, you can spend all your calories for the day or you can fast and save the rest for the next day or for ur bank account.

For example: my allowance per day would be 500, but I have an event coming or I want a controlled binge or whatever, I could eat 100 cals for 3 days and that way I could eat 1700 on day 4, or I eat on day one 200 and then the next day 800.

The game starts whenever u want, and after one week you can count how many calories u have in your bank account and if u have < 300, u have to starve for 2 days, if u have < 600 for one day and if you're over that ur save. Then the game starts again either after u starved or directly the next day and it starts with an empty bank account.

So yeah, lemme know what you think <3

(pro tip, u can make urself a bank account out of paper or something and then u can make like 100 cals notes out of paper and u can put it there to keep track)

[sewmice]

hello, do you know how many wish tones are needed for UR? i have 11175 and anxious for cecil/shion/masato's birthdays and hoping for christmas gacha like shining live.. i'd like to pull for eiichi now but i'm afraid to. do you know how many are needed for guarantee, if any? do i have enough/am i on track? i don't really understand this wish tone currency and pull rates.. could you please help me? thank you in advance so much!

To absolutely guarantee a UR, aka you have garbage luck and could not pull it at all, you need to pull 200 times, or 20 10-pulls. That will be 50,000 wish tones, and then you can buy the UR from its crown shop. But that is only if you have to use the crown pity system and only on limited banners. Hopefully you will pull the card you want sooner than that though.

You have 4 10-pulls currently. So I would absolutely continue saving up. The Eiichi gacha is not worth imo, none of the birthday ones are. It's just the standard pool of cards, with Rs guaranteed to be him, and his SRs and UR being boosted. And there's no pity system for those birthday banners. It's only luck, so you could spend way more than 50,000 if you have bad luck. Odds are, you will pull those cards naturally on other gachas at some point, so the general advice is to skip them unless you're spending money or really don't care to save up at all. Wait for Shion or Masato's SFM or any of the 3 of them to get a different limited UR.

The bad news is, events, getting S ranks and full combos, and reading stories just don't give as many tones as Shining Live gave prisms. Or in reality, they give about the exact same number, but tones are worth less as the pulls cost more. So we just can't pull as willy-nilly as we did in Shining Live. Gotta save for the boy/card you want.

In good news! They hopefully will change some of those rates? Maybe??? They did with the daily missions after all. And while Tokiya's event story didn't drop tones, Masato's did. So hopefully we'll see more there. ALSO, they've been quite generous with random login bonuses lately. For the end of the summer this week. For Moonshine last week. Various other reasons. So hopefully they'll keep that up.

We get 100 tones a day from daily missions, giving you a little over 1 10-pull per month. The normal login bonus is what, 100 every week as well? (I don't pay the best attention). And I've noticed some 500s occasionally as well from...something in between events. There's 500 separated into 50s along the points ladder for this current Session Live event. And we get 2 events per month. So 1000 there not counting any stories/tiering. So around 2 10-pulls per month with all of that? So without considering any extra login bonuses like we just had, tiering into higher levels, song playing, card stories, or anything else that can vary, it will take about 10 months to guarantee a limited UR. Assuming I did my math right. It likely won't take anyone that long because the random login bonuses they're giving out. But know it CAN take that long.

I hope this was helpful? Informative? Useful? I can explain more about anything if needed!

[drpg-global-archive]

DRPG - Character Episode - Rozalin

A naive young lady. Now, she's learning all about the outside world, while living in harmony with Adell.

Level 1/New Summon

Humph..... You've summoned me.  This must be important. My name is Rozalin. The sinful rose of the Netherworld. ....What? You're saying you want to train the greatest Overlord in existence? Idiot! If I became the strongest Overlord.... I'd just feel empty inside,  witnessing people getting killed day after day.

....Don't waste your time training those boring fools. You should spend your time  dealing with more important matters. Hmph... You want to know more? I'm talking about... Love!!

Level 100

Well..... Adell...... Oh, [Player]. Come and chat with me.  You know Adell... Ah... Adell is my... Uh...  How should I put it? Adell is  someone who has always been there for me. But, he doesn't understand women at all.

I'm very wayward.  I can be a real handful. He has never understood that this is how a girl's heart works! I'm simply acting coquettish  towards the man that I love. Really. He really makes me worry.   [Player], what do you think?

Level 200

Hmph.... Hmph.... Hmph.... Adell.... Oh, [Player]. Listen to me.  There is something definitely wrong with Adell. He once said to me "You're still so beautiful". Duh! Of course I am beautiful!  But Adell has never said  anything like that to me before.

I was so shocked  that I slapped him. He tried to save himself by making the excuse that  he simply said that because of some game he was playing.... Is he playing some dating simulation game  to learn about love....?

If that's the truth...ugh!  Does he actually think he can compare me  to the fake women he sees in a game!? I guess I just have to confront him. You should come help, [Player].

Level 500

............. Oh, [Player]. Sorry. I was thinking about something. ...I've known you for quite some time. I guess I can tell you this. I am Overlord Zenon's only daughter.  I've spent most of my life  sequestered in a massive mansion where I was able to get whatever I wanted. I always believed that my father loved me very much... I always believed that my relationship with my dad was a good one.... But...

But Overlord Zenon isn't actually my father.  No, I was wrong.... He tried to use me.  He kept me in that mansion like it was a cage. But... When I turned 5, Zenon gave me  an old teddy bear.... He gave me a  birthday cake for my 6th birthday.... He made white roses fall down on the garden outside the mansion like snowflakes when I turned 7....

Even now, I still can't believe all of this was just lies.... .....Sorry. This has nothing to do with you. Please forget everything I've told you.

Level 1000

Wow! Lv1000 already! Thanks for all the hard work, [Player]. Time flies quickly when I'm with you.  I don't know why. I never knew that anyone besides Adell could make me feel like this. You've gained my trust. Don't take this lightly! This is maybe your greatest achievement. When I'm with you, I feel like I'm a little girl again.

I want to give you a little gift....  What can I give you that will do the trick? Oh, yes! When Adell and I finally get married,  I'll let you be our witness. Hmph… How about it? Is there any gift better than that?

[muscle-gods-only]

My husband was this tiny little skinny guy when I met him. He was six feet tall and only 120 pounds, with a 26 inch waist. A couple years after we married he got a really stressful job that made a lot of money. After about 6 months at that job he weighed 150 pounds and had a 30 inch waist. I thought he looked better, not so gaunt. About another 6 months passed and he had passed the 200 pound mark, now he had a 36 inch waist and a nice belly for me to play with. I liked being with a bigger man, but he felt gross and fat. He tried dieting and exercising but he fell off quickly. A year later and we had paid off our house but now my husband was weighing just over 400 pounds the years of stress showing on his face. He swore he would lose the weight, but again his efforts were short lived. I loved playing with his massive belly. As a small guy, he was more than three times my weight and I loved his immense size and weight! A year later we had set aside enough money to buy and renovate a house to put up on Air BNB. We were rolling in cash, but he was super stressed at work and moving his now 500+ pound fat body. He made another attempt to lose weight but it didn’t go well. Another year later he was 600 pounds. He was absolutely huge and afraid of losing his ability to stay ambulatory, I loved his massive soft body, but I didn’t like him being unhappy. I said, “Why don’t we buy a second short term rental with our savings, replace most of your income and instead of having all that debilitating stress, you can spend all day going to the gym if you need. Just do cardio all day until you are happy with your body. After a month he lot about 50 pounds and then he got a trainer who talked him into lifting weights to burn calories quicker. He lost the fat, but instead of going back to a scrawny 120 pound bean-pole he’s turned himself into a 360 pound muscle beast less than a year later. Finally I can home last night (less than a year after he quit his job) he looked down at me and said, “I’m being sponsored by a supplement company and the pay is quite good. Why don’t you quit your job now and let me support you?” He started flexing his inhumanly massive muscles and continued, “You have made all me dreams come true, I see no reason why you should have to go to some awful job when I can have you here waiting for me after each workout. I need my wonderful husband here servicing me when I return home from each workout. I mean not long ago I was over 600 pounds of fat, by this time next year I intend to be over 600 pounds of solid muscle. That’s a massive beast that I’m becoming and servicing a man my size is going to be a full time job!” Then he started flexing his oversized muscles for me and I swore I could see them growing as he flexed!

[senilthesynth]

oof. was looking into federal student loan consolidation and while the new SAVE plan *would* save me money in the long run... I'd also have a way higher payment at first because I make a lotta money. And I don't think I can handle several hundred in loan payments, that'll climb to almost a thousand as I (and my fiancé) make more money Dx

I'm glad for the MANY this plan helps (especially those whose plan effectively deletes monthly payments or cancels it today), but it just doesn't do shit for monthly payments if you make much more than the income cap.

like. here's the tea. I make 78,000 a year right now (imo kinda high for right outta college, but I ain't complaining). Min wage here is something like $15.50, so like 32,000 a year at full time pre-tax. When me and my fiancé marry, my FEDERAL loan payments alone would shoot up to $500 a month (currently would be $200 for standard repayment)! On top of my existing private loans (thanks mom! /s), that'd be $800 a month TODAY. Depending on our income it could easily be much higher.

That's just, like, a lot! It'll be a bit easier once my fiance is working as well & can contribute some to rent and groceries and stuff, but like. They want to save for a gemology program. I don't want them to feel like they have to juggle working full time plus the program. Sure, my loans would all be paid off in a few years... but that extra $300+ a month is savings for other things in life. *sigh* maybe I'll apply for standard and then swap to SAVE once my fiancé is working.

Assuming my fiancé's loans aren't hell, too.

and I feel like this is an important side of the SAVE plan discussions. There are some things it does very well - interest doesn't capitalize so long as you make payments (and the $0 payments count to that!), much higher no-payment cutoff, loans get forgiven after like 20-25 years no matter what (in line with other income based repayment plans tbh)...

It's just. scaled weirdly. I would love to apply for it because paying less over the loan is VERY appealing to me, even if my payments are a bit higher. I just wish it wasn't SO much higher that it's better to go standard and toss more money at it when I can, knowing that by default I'll spend an extra 15-20k on those loans if I can't.

ugh. I hate that student loans exist. I hate that the forgiveness got axed, and that they aren't going through other avenues to forgive it (and afaik, not HARD pushing Congress/the Democratic party to make loan forgiveness a BIGGER thing).

No cutoffs. No applications. Just delete some amount from our loans.

[basicallyalways]

My mind is just a big jumbled mess

I've been having a hard time today specifically for some reason with feeling overwhelmed from all the thoughts in my head. I feel like I've been starting so many different projects lately that I can't finish anything. I wonder if this is why I'm happiest when I find a new obsession like a video game or something that I just can't stop thinking about or working on. Then that’s just one thing on the front-burner (is that an actual term? Lol) to deal with at one time. Otherwise I have like 4-20 things there at a time.

Since like 2015/2016, I've noticed how hard it is for me to think. It's kind of hard for me to explain it. But basically I get so overwhelmed all of the time. There are so many things I want to accomplish or buy or figure out and it's just so hard for me just sit down and get those things done. Some days are worse than others, like today. Like I just literally had to take a 5 minute break from writing this because I couldn't stop crying with how overwhelmed with thoughts I am and it's just reminding me how hard it truly is for me to be able to communicate and get my thoughts out so they're not clouding my brain. I still can't stop crying but I don't want to forget these thoughts when I do go back to try writing this down because I won't be able to remember all the things I'm thinking/feeling.

I have over 4,600 screenshots in my phone. I have way more in my Google Photos but I don’t know how to figure that number out. I take screenshots of things that I want to remember. You can see how this could be a problem because how am I going to even find these SS's if there are so many of them lost in my phone? And that’s not even taking into account all of the actual photos I have in my phone. It would be slightly easier if they were all of the same subject or even 2 or 3. But there's sooo many different things that I do this for. I'm not sure how many albums I have in either my phone or Google Photos app but I can guarantee there's at least over 100 in each. More examples are my YouTube Playlists and Pinterest Boards. I just counted at least 200 YouTube Playlists I've created. I didn’t feel like counting anymore but I'm sure that’s enough to visualize my point. And then add to the fact that each playlist probably has at least 100 videos. I started making them probably in like 2013. I should probably go back and clean out some of the stuff I don’t care about anymore but that's just one other thing to add to the problem I'm attempting to explain. Now let's look at my Pinterest account. I have about 150 Boards created on there, the most pins in one being about 500. I spend way less time on Pinterest because I forget about it a lot and there's less subjects on there than YT but that’s a good thing for my situation. Each Photo Album, Playlist, and Board was created to organize my thoughts, in a sense. To try to make it easier for me to find whatever I was interested in finding at the time. It does work for that but it also causes more issues for me in the sense that I then have to worry about where I saved something or where I should save something. And there's still so many of them that it’s overwhelming and depressing for me. Oh and I just remembered the fact that I have 3 different apps that I used to make lists. Ugh. I'm not even going to go into how many lists I make. Oh and let's not forget all of the tabs on my computer I constantly have open. I used to be known for being so organized. Like I literally used to want to make a career out of it when I was younger. I'm still kind of organized (at least more than some people) in a way but not in a helpful way.

For those of you who don't know my situation, I'm currently unemployed. I was taking Community College classes from 2010-2016 off and on. I stopped because I was having similar issues to what I just was talking about. I think part of why I had so much trouble was because I had eventually went into full online classes instead of going to class 2-3 days a week. But just in general, school is difficult for someone like me who has issues with feeling overwhelmed to the point of not being able to do anything from the weight of that feeling. I'm lucky that I didn’t start having these issues until after I graduated high school. In fact, I didn’t even realize I had anxiety or depression until my 2nd semester of college classes where I had to leave my math class in the middle of it to go cry in the bathroom. When I was working I was on medication so it wasn’t as difficult to function but I had some off days. Eventually I stopped going to my last job because I couldn’t take having panic attacks every day before work anymore.

I really hope one day I'll be able to clear my head and feel like I can function like a normal human being. Life would be easier if only I had more people in my life (other than my husband) who had a better grasp on this sort of thing and could coach me. I also hope that at least most of this post made any sense and helped you to understand me a little better. I know that I have a tendency to take days and sometimes week to respond to people's messages but this is one of the reasons why that happens.

[tendebill]

ok so apparently the reaper bundle is a skin, emote, weapon charm, spray and name card? no highlight intro?? so imo just 2 actually good things (emote + skin) and the rest is kinda... filler ngl. i mostly dont care for sprays (plus most sprays from ow1 are for 25-50 FREE credits), the charms are nice, but no one notices them anyway, hell even i forget i have a charm on 99% of the time, plus theyre SO EXPENSIVE?? you have to spend like 700 credits for most of them?? namecards are okay but i always use the same one anyway. same for player icons. i was kinda on the fence abt the bundle bc i thought i could get a skin + emote + hl intro but now it just doesnt seem worth it xdd

2600 tho? nuh uh. i bought the battle pass, which i saved up for with the goddamn weekly challenges (aka grinded out the 1000 by getting 60 per week) + the skin on its own and im passing up on the emote cuz its not worth it. it costs 500 credits and i only have like 300 leftover rn im not paying additional irl money for just an emote bffr. even if i wanted to grind out the additonal 200, the bundle is only in store for a week and i would get 60 at most so aint gonna happen.

also insane that individual skins (both with and without the bundle) are so much more expensive than the battle pass like WHAT. the BP is filled with skins, voicelines emotes, victory poses- just everything you can get, and its still cheaper than most skins/bundles in shop like goddamn. i spent 1900 on a single skin, meanwhile the BP is 1000.

and the new "tiers" they added to the BP?? the free and premium thing was always there but then they also made the ULTIMATE BP, which is from my understanding the premium BP with additional skins you wouldnt get anywhere else like HOLY SHIT they're farming money so hard i dont think im gonna buy another skin or BP for a WHILE after this, just leaves a foul taste in my mouth lol. this was a moment of weakness bcuz of gabriel reyes wont happen again (i hope i pray)

so season 9 of ow2 drops today (my game is updating as we speak) and this is the first time i spent my own actual real world money on the game (and hopefully the last), cuz theres a new valentines reaper skin and TELL ME WHY THE BUNDLE IS 2600 COINS AKA ABOUT 26$ WHATTTT my ass saved up credits (that u earn slowly overtime by playing the game) for a BP and then i bought and additional 22OO COINS FOR THE REAPER SKIN with ACTUAL MONEY and you're telling me I STILL DONT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY THIS BUNDLE? man i hate blizzard. they either drop shit skins or drop skins at a price that should warrant burning at the stake what is this.

my only hope rn is that i can buy the things from the bundle i want separately. like obv the bundle has the skin itself, which is probably 1900 coins, but then theres a highlight intro + an emote + a name card + a weapon charm, where the latter two are basically worthless to me tbh

anyway this game is so fun ^^

[is-the-rat-vid-cute]

hey! i've been considering getting rats for a while now, but i'm a high school who makes next to no money at mcdonalds. how much would you recommend i save before getting some rats? how much should i set aside for medical emergencies, food, a good cage, etc.

i don't mind spending a decent amount on them for whatever, i just need to know how long i'll have to wait aha

The cost definitely depends on where you live. I live in a more expensive part of the US, so I can expect to spend around $200-400 for a neuter and $70-80 on a checkup for example. But I know other folks who live in less expensive areas would be looking at around $100 for a neuter and $50 for a checkup. My recommendation would be to call or email a few vets nearby, and ask some questions about pricing. I personally save up this much for each rat since my income isn’t always consistent:

1x surgery, including neuter or spay

3x checkup

2x URI

1x euthanasia (with cremation if desired)

I try to have at least enough to cover those expenses before I get another pair of rats. This is assuming you’re getting rats from a breeder and don’t have exceptionally bad luck — if you get a rat from a feeder bin, pet store, or shelter, I’d recommend saving a bit more for your vet fund since they’ll be more prone to health issues. If the vets in your area won’t tell you their prices, I’d personally recommend a vet fund of around $500-1000 per rat, depending on the cost of living in your area. You don’t have to have all of this up front, but I’d at least recommend having a few hundred dollars in case you run into an emergency as soon as you get them. Some folks with more stable jobs will put a specific amount of money each month aside for the vet fund, which is also an option if you’re confident you’ll have steady income for a while.

The good news is that the vet fund will be your biggest expense, upkeep for rats actually isn’t too expensive. If you have a pair, you can get a 20lb bag of Oxbow from Chewy for $50 and that’ll last you 7-8 months if stored properly, since rats will generally eat 15-20g each per day. It’s a big cost up front but definitely worth it in my experience. If you don’t have that money up front, you can also get 3lb bags for around $12 from Chewy, which would last about a month for a pair of rats.

If you’re looking to save money on bedding, I highly recommend the big bags of kiln-dried pine shavings that farm stores often have. Tractor Supply Co in the US has bags for around $7 that last a month or two. Aspen is similar, I get bags from TSC for $15 each and that usually lasts about a month.

Lastly, bin cages are great inexpensive options for a pair of rats. If you want to buy a cage, you’d probably want to budget around $150 (again depending on your area), but bin cages can be made for much cheaper. You just need 1/2 inch hardware cloth (around $20 at Home Depot), a plastic storage tote (I recommend at least 50-75g for 2 rats, probably also around $20-30), and some zip ties ($10-15 for a big pack). There are some tutorials on how to make bin cages here and here. If you don’t want to DIY something, I highly recommend looking at used cages on places like Craigslist and FB Marketplace, though if you’re a minor (or even if not tbh) I’d recommend bringing a trusted adult with you since people on there can be sketch sometimes. Critter Nation cages are great but expensive, you could also get a rabbit or Guinea pig cage, but you’d need to put hardware cloth over the bars if they’re any wider than 1/2 inch to prevent escapes.

As someone who’s also not in a super financially stable place right now, I like to have around 6 months of food and bedding on hand when I can, just for my own peace of mind. But honestly making sure you have a big enough vet fund is the most important thing in my opinion — especially since rats live such short lives, health emergencies can often come out of nowhere. A cage is the biggest one-time purchase, and food and bedding costs can be under $20 a month if you’re smart about it. But vet bills are something that are a lot harder to come up with, and it definitely is worth it to be prepared in that regard.

I also want to mention since you said you’re a high schooler — please make sure your parents are on board. I’ve seen many minors get pets and then have their parents be unwilling to drive them to the vet or help out with necessary care, so I feel obligated to mention it. If you can’t drive, make sure you have a solid backup plan for vet or supply trips, whether that’s an Uber, public transport, or getting a ride from a parent or friend. And make sure that you have a plan for the rats when you move to your next stage of life — whether that’s going to college or trade school or otherwise moving out, it’s worth it to consider if the rats will still be around by then and what you’ll do with them at that point, whether that’s rehoming or finding a way to bring them with you.

Hopefully this helped a bit — unfortunately a lot of the costs do depend on your area a lot but I commend you for making sure you’re financially prepared ahead of time. Many people don’t realize how expensive rat vet bills can be, but having a good fund set up for them ahead of time will save you so much stress and heartache. Let me know if you have any other questions!

[estiebestieban]

Because we only girlboss, and not gatekeep, here's what you need to make stickers for fun in the same way I do (and the limitations of this method)

(I’m writing this up for transparency, seeing as I didn’t quite know what I was getting myself into when I first started out  -  I’m by no means an expert, but I also think information should be accessible, and it’s a really fun hobby if you’re looking for a new creative outlet!)

I bought a Brother Scan and Cut CM700 a few months ago. This is a plotter. I use it to cut shapes from vinyl, although, you can also put in pen tools in order to draw shapes! (I don't have the pen tool, but I could)

The specific type of plotter I have retails for around 400 euros new, I bought mine second-hand because I'm poor. Anyway, there are smaller models available, for example, the Cricut Joy (about 150 euros, new) is a more compact machine. I just knew I wanted to make bigger projects, so it wasn't an option for me.

Anyway, you have your machine, you want to make some cool stickers... now what?

You're going to need the following items:

- foil

- a cutting mat

- a cutting blade (probably included with the machine)

- even more foil

- if you decide to put your designs onto fabric, you’re going to need a heat press

- somewhere to put your sticker on, eventually, if you want.

A plotter is pretty limited in the sense that you can't really cut out multiple colours, or create a hue, in one single go. You work with negative space (generally in black and white when designing) and from there you figure out what to pull away, and what to keep.

(There are printers available that can print directly onto sticker foil, I don't have one of those, so I can't talk about them - they are generally about the same price as plotters give or take, or at least somewhere in that ballpark.) 

When working with the average plotter, you can easily create designs such like these: *source, google*

As you can see, these are cut from one colour, and after removing the excess foil, you get pretty cool shapes!

Now, you should think about where you want to put your designs. But before I explain that, I should talk about the different kinds of foil.

You’re probably going to use Flex foil. Flex foil can be used to transfer your designs onto quite literally anything. Personally, I’ve put my designs onto mirrors, glass, cars (both windows as well as bumpers, but I always advice windows seeing as I don’t want people to ruin their top coat) as well as wooden furniture.

When working with Flex, you’re going to need Transfer tape, basically, you’re pulling your colourful foil off the backlayer, and using the transfer tape to put it onto the object of your desire. The options with Flex are quite literally endless. You can just as easily put your design on paper as you can put it on the fridge. Higher quality foil makes for a more enjoyable experience all around, especially the transfer tape, so do spend the additional bucks and save yourself the hassle of screaming and crying because the cheap stuff won’t do its job properly.

If you’re more interested in making designs to put on fabric (think about shirts, hoodies, etc) you’re going to want Flock or Vinyl foil. Vinyl is thinner, where as Flock is a bit thicker, and gives a puffy look to your design.

When working with either Flock or Vinyl, you’re going to need a heat press. You’re going to ‘iron’ on the foil onto your fabric. A heat press ranges from 80 euros, to 500 euros. It all depends on how often you’ll be using it, how much space you have, etc. The one I got is the super small Cricut Easypress Mini, mostly because it was 80 euros... where the next step up was 200 euros. The mini is advertised as allowing you to make smaller things like socks, or shoes, but with a little bit of patience, you can make larger projects just as well! Simply put, we out here hustling and bustling! 

Both types of foil come in a multitude in colours as well as patterns. From glitter to mat, to leopard print to metallic. Pricing ranges from 1 euro to 4 euros for a meter. When I first started out, I bought packs of foil. They didn’t let me pick colours, but it was a cheaper way to get a multitude of foils in my house without getting decision fatigue.

You have your machine, you have your foils... time to create! Not so fast there, buddy! 

With the machine I have, I can’t just ‘feed’ the pieces of foil into it. It needs to be loaded up onto a cutting mat.

You can get these in various types of stickiness. For foil, use a light stick mat. These range from 25 to 40 euros depending on the size and where you buy them from (I have one that’s 30 by 30cm, and one that’s 30 by 60cm for bigger projects.)

Basically, you stick your foil onto this mat, and load it into the machine. From there, the blade is going to do its work, and cut out the design for you. It’s going to come out looking roughly like this (this is a design I once made to test things out, it’s not as well done as I would have liked, but it was a trial run)

You can see the lines where it cut through the foil (this was Flex, in case you’re wondering) It’s now time to pull away the excess, and see how the shape opens up for you. This process is called weeding and you generally use a hook for this  -  once again, I’m poor and crafty so I use a needle... no, I can’t make this up I promise.

Now, you just peel away all of the excess that’s still left inside. Seeing as this was a large design scaled down onto a small piece of foil... this sucked. this took me forever and a day and a lot of the details were lost. But hey, that’s how you learn, right?

As you can see, you do have shapes and you can somewhat see what it’s supposed to be, but the foil itself gives you some limitations, in the sense that you can’t really make use of a hue inside of it.

Anyway. I didn’t take photos of this, but I did the whole process again, except now in blue with the colours inverted, stuck transfer tape onto it, and then yeeted it against the glass of a photo frame.

I made this design in photoshop based on a photo  -   but even if you don’t have any photoshop knowledge, a lot of plotters come with a program that allows you to design your stickers in there. These also come with pre-loaded shapes and fonts just to make it a bit easier!

This is just the basics of everything, and like I said before, I’m by no means a pro. There are a lot of things you should consider before investing in a plotter, but if you’re looking into a neat little hobby that allows you to make stuff for yourself, friends and loved ones? Yeah, I highly recommend a plotter.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Feel you big time on the wedding thing

For one thing like... why spend a small fortune on one day when you can take that money and try to use it to set yourself up for better days? If I am gonna blow a lot of money, why not use it on a honeymoon so we can have a nice trip together?

If I were to do it what I'd want is to either learn to make the rings, or hire and artisan to do it with lab grown gems. Same for the outfits, either learn to make something I'll like using another day, or hire an artisan to make it custom. Then do something in the backyard

Sure there's people who really wouldn't like that, but honestly we probably would be a bad romantic fit for each other

Like I said though it's like why stress, why spend a ton of money? Save that stuff to make the rest of your life together better. No need to peacock, the other people don't matter. Do something nice and fun for both of you, but keep it simple for your own sakes

That's my untested thoughts on this stuff

I think I share most of these thoughts!

When wifey and I got married, I had just graduated from college (literally like a month before) and she was just approaching a year at her first career-based employment (as opposed to seasonal temp work before that) so we really didn't have the ability to pay for a proper Jewish wedding, nor the time to DIY one. I wasn't on speaking terms with my family either so there was no support there financially, nor was there the ability to supply me with important cultural or heirloom items that would have helped bridge the gap between a state wedding and a spiritual one.

Wifey's family was so welcoming and provided everything they could to make our wedding beautiful, and just a few years later my BIL and his fiance who attended our wedding together held their own wedding in the same field behind his aunt's house with more food and guests and lots of little munchkins to keep their sons company on the big day. It was the best wedding her family could offer either couple, and no one was unhappy with that. I don't think either wedding cost the family as a whole more than $500, and that was still a lot for any of us given our incomes, so imagining a world where we spent more feels....hard somehow. What would we have done, taken out a loan?

I dunno. I see people agonizing over how to hold a wedding with "only" 200+ guests and just sort of....feel a little uncertain about what people thought of my wedding. Did they think it was sad we didn't have more guests? Did they think we were cheap for getting married in clothes we'd owned for years? Did they think our marriage wouldn't last because our promises weren't made before g-d? I dunno. I would have liked a wedding where I felt financially able to do the things that mattered to me. But I just have a hard time figuring out how two young people just starting out are supposed to manage that when the families don't come together to make it happen.

Personally, my hot take is that weddings should be thrown for the new family by a chosen trusted loved one. The soon-to-bes and their families come together to make a budget and then hand control over to the person the soon-to-bes trust to throw them a wedding, and they should have no further responsibilities.

I liked that about my wedding. All I had to do was find my JP and my cake, and my MIL and wifey's aunt took care of everything else for us. They would ask our opinion from time to time, but they arranged a wedding that we, as the newly weds, could simply attend and enjoy.

There are probably other ways to arrange that, and I'm sure it's at least some of the point of the wedding party members in a more typical wedding, but I still feel like in all the obsession of "having the perfect day" it stops being something that the people doing the getting married are meant to enjoy.

[brooklynbear32]

I interrupt my normal horny posting with some thoughts on finances, parenting, and parenting finances. Not your deal? Scroll on by, no worries! Want to know how I have two kids ~~~in this economy~~~ and am doing okay? Click the readmore. I'll tag this and future kiddo-related posts with #MamaSarah so you can block them if you want.

First off, $2.5 million in debt and overspending like that is completely insane. I literally can't comprehend living like that.

My husband and I are in a similar situation housing wise; I'd never heard of "golden handcuffs" is a very apt phrase. Yes, the value of our house has gone up proportionately with the market, but 5 years ago the next level up of house (small detached) only cost about $50k more than our townhouse. Now, detached houses are $100-150k more, and interest rates have skyrocketed.

I will say, though, as a mom of two, kids aren't always as expensive as made out to be. Formula and daycare costs are absolutely ridiculous and I don't have a way around that. Beyond those two expenses, I've found that so much spending related to kids are more about convincing yourself that you're a good parent than actually providing for your child's needs.

One of my friends has a $700 travel system (car seat plus stroller) because she was convinced that it was the safest option for her baby. Car seats are so meticulously regulated in North America that $100 car seats genuinely are not less safe. My $200 travel system has all the same safety ratings and has held up to years of use and abuse with no greater issues than needing a $15 replacement wheel.

Nearly everything you want or need for your kids can be found on Facebook marketplace for 50-80% less than store price, often in near-perfect condition. I paid $35 for a $200 baby swing that was barely used because the baby it was bought for didn't care for it. We used it for a few months with our baby until he didn't like it anymore, and then we sold it --- for $35. My husband and I refer to items we get from FB marketplace as rentals because we know we'll be able to sell them for almost as much as we paid, if not the same amount.

There's almost always a mom giving away big bags of baby and kid clothes in local free groups on Facebook, bags that cost $10-20 in the marketplace. No baby needs you to spend $10-20 for an outfit they'll wear 3-5 times before outgrowing, when you could pay that much or less for their whole wardrobe for that time. If you do go to retailers, walk straight to the sale rack and buy items a size or two up to tuck away. I paid $3 for a brand new pair of $50(!) Paw Patrol winter boots at Walmart yesterday. Seriously.

Cloth diapers can save you big money, but I will say it's only worth it if you have in-unit/main floor laundry. Unless you're a far more energetic and productive person than I am, you're not going to want to go up and down the stairs to switch out all the different cycles needed to properly clean the diapers. I spent $150 on cloth diapers for our first, the same cost as ~5 months of disposables, give or take. If you do disposables, I've found Rascal and Friends diapers at Walmart are better quality than Pampers or Huggies and cost less.

In terms of formula, sign up for every different brands mailing list. You will receive high value coupons which you can sell or trade on Facebook. Also, babies can be picky about different types of formula so it's common for parents to sell tubs of formula with just two or three scoops used. Obviously, use your best discretion on this for safety purposes, but it can be a good way to save.

People say that breastfeeding/chestfeeding is free but it just isn't true. It requires an extra 300-500 calories a day to create the milk, so you're going to be eating more and food is expensive. There are tons of resources online about how to decrease your grocery cost but my best advice is just to stock up on items when they are cheap, and make double of a meal occasionally and freeze it so you can pull it out and heat it up when you'd otherwise be tempted to order delivery.

My only tip for childcare is to find an early childhood educator or kindergarten teacher who is a stay at home parent to their kids and is willing to take yours on, too. Obviously vet them first, but I know several people who have down this, both as the provider and the parent. Beyond that, I can't make daycare cheaper, sorry, but maybe you can! Now is a great timr for you to volunteer with whatever politician/community leader near you is advocating for affordable childcare. Maybe you'll create change that you'll be able to benefit from down the road!

As your kids get older, prioritize low-cost or free community activities over high-cost extra-curriculars. A soccer program run by your local community centre will cost half as much as a private one at a fancy field on the edge of town (that is also a longer drive away). Make the library your best friend, not just for books and media but also for events. More importantly, let your kids be bored! It's good for them! They will find creative things to do, especially if you offer to find a chore for them to do instead ;)

Don't go insane at Christmas. Don't be the parents of the kid who tells everyone at school that Santa brought them a PS5, because Santa might have only brought someone else a few things from Dollar Tree. Focus more on holiday activities and quality time than presents.

Don't think that you have $500 birthday parties for your kid every year to show them you love them. Have them pick three friends to take on an adventure like to an indoor playground or rock climbing or bowling. Buy them tons of snacks and make goodie bags and you'll still spend 1/3 as much.

Beyond meeting basic needs, more money never made a child a better person. The most important part of parenting is consistently showing up for your child with love, patience, and empathy.

This is (obviously) something I'm pretty passionate about, so feel free to send me an ask or a message if you gave questions or want to talk about it more!

I have a random question. How is everyone doing in these trying times? Like it’s so hard out there right now while my partner and I both make what I thought was good money, yet we’re both really struggling. He just got a second job and I’m looking for another job where I can work from home. We were hopping to have a house by now, but are still living in a dinky apartment. Don’t know if we can ever afford kids. Forget a vacation. Social media has given me extreme fomo and made me feel like a failure compared to my friends despite having an MA. Seriously how are y’all managing? It’s hard out there. Sorry, I know sometimes you like to discuss other things 🫶🏻

The world really is a hot mess. It’s crazy how expensive everything keeps getting while wage remains stagnant for most people. It’s a really rough spot to be in for so many people.

I’m personally within the “ok, but I wish things were a lot better” camp. I’ve found myself in what’s now being called the millennial golden handcuffs. Golden meaning I was fortunate enough to buy a house before prices and interest rates skyrocketed, but handcuffed because I can’t afford to move from where I’m at. The house we live in now is a cute little starter home, but around the 5-10 year mark my husband and I had planned to sell our house and upgrade to something bigger before we had kids so we had the space we’d feel like we’d need to fit a growing family. Well. I’m fortunate to have a house, and I will never take that for granted, but selling it and moving now is out of the question because home prices have literally almost doubled where I live in the last 6 years. I literally could not even afford to buy the same house I already live in right now. It’s seriously insane.

But I feel with you on everything else. I thought my life would look a lot different by now and I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever have the things I originally wanted for myself out of my adult life. I always wanted 2 kids when we were ready to start a family for various reasons I won’t get into right now, this will be long enough as is, but I don’t know if we can even afford 1 child in this economy when I see the prices of diapers, formula, and childcare. And it all just keeps getting more expensive every time you turn around. I try to think about those costs being tacked on to our already expensive bills and I’m not sure that we’ll be able to swing it. Not without making severely drastic changes anyway. I also wanted to see so much of the world by now through travel. Covid ruined a lot of travel plans I initially had, and now that we’re mostly in a post Covid world (yes, I acknowledge Covid isn’t truly over yet) the cost of travel has gone up so much that it’ll eat away too much of my savings that I’m not willing to part with. I’m always worried about needing that money for things like medical or home emergencies and spending it down on something like travel just doesn’t feel like a wise choice right now. And it’s hard to continue to save money when the cost of everything keeps increasing. It’s like a never ending circle where you just can’t get ahead.

I wish I had some sound advice to share with you that would help or make you feel better. (Shit, I need it too sometimes). Just try to keep in mind that sometimes what we see on social media isn’t always reflective of what’s happening in reality. For example, a good friend of mine had two babies during Covid, she and her husband bought a new, massive house for their little family, new cars, she’s always posting stories about new jewelry he bought her, and they’re constantly going on lavish looking trips or going to concerts and sporting events. Looking at their life on social media it’s like “wow, must be nice.” It’s really easy to feel envious when we see those things. There’s times where I’ve even wondered “how are they doing it?” and it turns out they aren’t. After a conversation she and I recently had about life in general while we were catching up, she told me they are $2.5 million dollars in debt between their student loans, mortgage, car payments, and maxed out credit cards. They are one small emergency away from losing everything they have because they can’t take on another expense. Their life looks beautiful on Instagram, but that’s a level of debt that makes me feel physically sick and I’d absolutely not want to trade her places for it. The jewelry, trips, concerts, and games are not worth that level of debt to me. Sure, it’s nice to experience those things. But not in exchange for being that financially unstable (IMO-you’re all free to disagree of course). Some of the debt is understandable, they need a home to live in (although their last house was still very nice and perfectly fine for the four of them), they need cars to get to work, and whatever expenses that come with raising their children. That’s understandable debt/finances that most people have. But they could easily be saving thousands of dollars a year on frivolous spending that’s done for the sole purpose of putting up a false facade on Instagram about living that easy high life. I personally don’t know why they feel compelled to do it, they aren’t trying to be influencers, nor are either of their families materialistic like that. But sometimes those great Instagram feeds aren’t always what they seem. 🦎

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Honestly, controversial opinion, but Crowley arguably does move pretty fast, if you look at it from a celestial perspective.

“But they were friends for 6000 years!” No they weren't.

I mean, headcanons can vary, but if we're going purely by the text then they don't appear to have met up at all in the 1000 years between Eden and Noah's Ark (Crowley has to ask about the aftermath of the Flaming Sword Incident) and it's not clear how many times they encountered each other in the 3000 years between that and the crucifixion.

They don't go out for lunch together (that we see) until eight years after that. Once again, I've seen lots of excellent headcanons and fics about how they might have spent that intervening time together, but from a strictly canon perspective, Crowley and Aziraphale being basically just friendly colleagues for the first 4000 years of their relationship is a totally valid interpretation.

And then, of course, Crowley probably has to leave (he's “just popped in for a quick temptation”, remember) and the next time we see them is 500 years later. Which is a super long time for a human— and I'm not going to argue that they didn't meet up at all in the intervening time, since at this point I don't think it's implied one way or another— but for an angel or a demon?

They've both been on Earth for well over 4000 years by this point. How long is 500 years relative to them? Fifty years? Fifteen? Five?

Anyway, it's at this point— 500 years after what was quite possibly their first lunch together— that Crowley turns to Aziraphale and is like “hey? Want to commit literal treason?”

And make no mistake, that is what he is asking. These two are enemy agents, and Crowley is asking to exchange information about the secret plans of their respective sides. This would require Aziraphale to

a) trust Crowley not to take advantage of this information for the benefit of Evil

b) consciously choose not to take advantage himself of the information Crowley gives him, for the benefit of Good

c) accept (even just a little bit) the idea that the activities he's just spend the past >4000 years on don't make any difference at all in the grand scheme of things, and Heaven doesn't really give a shit about him.

… And he does it. He rejects the idea initially, but just over a thousand years later we see them together at the Globe, and the Arrangement is not only established, but clearly has been so for some time.

Long enough for Crowley to decide it's time to bend the rules. Not only are they arranging secret meetings and tactically keeping out of each other's way, but they've already done the 'taking care of each other's blessings and temptations' trick “dozens of times”. Aziraphale is still nervous and shocked when Crowley suggests it, so he's probably used to only doing it as a last resort in emergencies, but he knows exactly what Crowley is suggesting the moment he comments on what a shame it is that they both have to go to Edinburgh. This is not a new thing.

Aziraphale at this point still believes that angels and demons are fundamentally different. For all he knew, the first time he performed a temptation he would fall instantly and the first time Crowley performed a blessing he would… explode, or something. But still, at some point during the last thousand years, Crowley persuaded him to do it.

And then, just over 200 years after that (and how long even is that? It's ~4% of the time they've spent on Earth so far) Crowley asks for holy water, Aziraphale thinks he's going to kill himself, freaks out about how much he cares and brings out the Heaven Party Line to cover up his real feelings. Crowley takes it as a personal insult and they fall out for a century— according to the script, Aziraphale is convinced that they're not friends anymore.

100 years after that, and Crowley's back again, and he's just saved Aziraphale from discorporation (… by threatening him with worse discorporation, but still) and thought to rescue his books. Aziraphale has his big moment of 'this demon is the only being who truly cares about me, and I truly care about him' and then literally like 20 years later (which would be what on the celestial timescale? Two weeks?) Crowley's after the holy water again, and Aziraphale has to choose between letting his friend almost certainly die through inaction, or making him slightly less likely to die right away but ensuring that if/when he does die later down the line, it will be All. Aziraphale's. Fault.

He chooses option 2 and in the process has to admit— maybe not out loud, but definitely through implication— that the initial refusal to hand it over was never about Heaven, because Aziraphale couldn't give a toss about what Heaven thinks compared to what will ensure the safety of one incredibly irritating demon. Probably crossing his fingers that he's not going to Fall the whole way through, because that is a bloody extreme thing to admit given the circumstances.

And Crowley's response? “Cool, so we're now going to go off together and start hanging out like normal people who don't have the threat of each other's horrific destruction hanging over their heads every minute of the day? We're going to drive off in my car and just be openly BFFs forever now?” No Crowley.

In the past just under 2000 years you've gone from work aquaintances (which was already illegal! Literally every conversation you two have ever had could have resulted in your deaths!), to treason buddies, to Aziraphale fully admitting to himself that his loyalty to you is more than his loyalty to Heaven. That his loyalty to Heaven does not in fact play into it when it comes to your safety. Even though he's an angel, and that sort of thinking is exactly the kind of thing you Fall for.

And like less than thirty seconds after you've both come to that realisation, you're turning round and asking him to give up all plausible deniability and attempts at secrecy and just start openly hanging out together where Heaven and Hell could just stumble upon you at any time.

Like yeah he turns you down, what with finding out you're about to risk killing yourself, and handing you a suicide pill, and finally admitting his ultimate betrayal of Heaven in his heart, this has been a rough past few hours for Aziraphale. He's probably not ready to be making those kinds of decisions.

But he says he's willing to give it a try. Not yet— give him a minute Crowley— but he's willingly acknowledging that there is a Next Step to this relationship and he wants to get there.

And then the next time we see the two of them, in 30-40 years time, Aziraphale has made the step. They're going to the Ritz together and getting wasted in the shop afterwards. They seem to have done this before. Crowley now wants to form an allegiance and deliberately work to circumvent the Great Plan that Aziraphale believes was set out 6000 years ago by God Herself, and it literally takes an afternoon for Crowley to talk him into it.

Like, I see a lot of posts about the holy water scene where people are blaming Aziraphale or joking about how Crowley couldn't possibly go any slower than he is already. And yeah, from a human perspective, they're barely moving. But from the perspective of millennia old beings whose existence predates the Earth itself? And for whom literally every step in their relationship was utterly revolutionary and completely unprecedented?

To Aziraphale, it probably felt a lot faster.

[falllingthroughspace]

Nevermind me I just want to complain a little

In December 2021 I decided to try to change my career and signed up for courses in QA, they lasted 2 months and all looked great. In February I quit my job since I was invited to intern for a huge IT company. The internship usually lasts for 3-4 months, it is unpaid, but afterwards you are all but guaranteed to be employed. I was cautiously optimistic, I had my savings to last me 4 months or so and was really happy about the opportunity.

Then the war happened. At my old job, the European company severed all ties with us within a week. The huge IT company suspended all hire in my country which meant that after internship they couldn't place me. My partner and I moved to Georgia for a couple of months because we were afraid that the border would close and all hell would break loose. But I was still doing my internship as it was good experience for me and I still had hope.

In August we returned home for a couple of reasons - one of them was that I wanted to try to get employed and start earning money. You see, before all that, my country was a huge hub for IT companies and IT probably was the only sector where you could earn good money, not just 500$ to barely get by (with rent costing 300$). But now almost all those companies left, all specialists left, and even if somebody was hiring, they wanted people with skills and commercial (not internship) experience. No one wants junior specialists, but only juniors remain in the country (because all other specialists have money to move/they are valuable enough to be relocated by the company). It was said, it would take 3-6 months to find a job in this climate and you shouldn't bother. But I had hope, because unlike most juniors, I had some experience - I did intern in a big famous IT company.

Three months later....I am so tired. When there is a vacancy, within a couple of hours 100-200 CVs are being sent, and most of the time, your resume is ignored. If it's not ignored, you are given a test task, and you spend days doing it - half of the time you don't even receive any feedback on it. I got interviewed a couple of times - I think they went well, but still I got no offer. Last time, I thought the interview went splendidly - I answered most of the questions, the HR afterwards said I was great and promised that I would get some feedback by Friday. Nothing came. On Tuesday, I wrote to them myself and was asked to give them some time till the end of the week - they really liked me, but had some other people to interview. I never heard from them again. I've spent a month in communication with this company to just be ignored.

I am tired, I am unemployed and I feel terrible. Thank god for my partner who can support me without issues - he understands the situation since he is working in the same sector and knows all the problems. I want to work but I don't want to give up - I've spent so long studying and learning new stuff to be able to work and I don't want it to go to waste. But I don't want to be leeching off my partner doing nothing all day, except monitoring vacancies and doing test tasks. I just want this to end...

Sorry for this long rant, I just wanted to document this somewhere.