#It's like 6:40 AM over here so I apologies if this sounds messy

[star-critter]

Greetings! Here's a reminder that your negative thoughts and views of yourself do not define you. You are an amazing and talented individual. We are all so honored and grateful to see all that you have brought into this world. Remember that you are good enough. You are more than just "good enough." You are yourself, and that is the best thing you can be!

Can I get a daily reminder that I’m good enough??

[bqu1nns]

hello!!! my apologies i know someone requested a q fic that i posted an hour ago BUT i deleted it, not knowing that it would delete the inbox request (im dumb) BUT ITS HERE!!! whoever u are, this is for u lol!

the perspective of where i wrote this from is that you're sal’s youngest sister (maybe 6-7 years younger than him BUT you aren't a minor to brian dont worry!!!!) but he would've never ever imagined you and brian, his best friend, to ever hook up with one another. if he ever found out, he’d probably never talk to either one of you guys ever again. also this is set in 2008 maybe ?? peak tenderloins era. i think … 

brian quinn ☠︎︎ daddy’s girl

1376 words ♡

you awoke from the sound of your doorbell ringing at an ungodly hour. 2:37 am read your clock in bright and blaring red lighting. it made you jump slightly but nonetheless, you took some time to orient yourself, your heart already racing from the sudden interruption. lazily, you got up and started to question… who the HELL could that even be at my door at this hour?

you didn't know anyone that would come up unannounced, hell, your apartment complex wasn't the kind of building to let in strangers to show up, especially in the middle of the night. you grabbed a spare hoodie (brian's hoodie…) throwing it over your tank top as you padded towards the door. 

then, all of a sudden, came a knock. three sharp taps, followed by a familiar, deep voice — one that you could always hear in the back of your mind.

“it’s me. baby please, open up”.

brian fucking quinn.

what was he doing here and why must it be at 2:40 in the morning? you unlock the door, opening it just enough to see him standing there, illuminated by the orange glow of your apartment's hallway. he looked… disheveled. like he woke up on the wrong side of his bed (he did). his hair was messy, like he’d been running it through his hands over and over, black hoodie with a jacket hanging open over it. 

but it was his face that really made you take a second look. his eyes – those stupid, downturnt eyes that were too expressive for his own good– were tired and red-rimmed, as if he hadn't slept for a day or two. 

something stinged in your heart but you broke the silence, “brian?”, you whispered softly, your voice still riddled with sleep and confusion. “what are you doing here?”. 

he let out a shaky breath, putting his hands in his pockets as he looked at you through the crack of the door, “m’sorry angel”, he spoke, low and rough. “i… i know it's late and you should probably be sleeping but i couldnt… i didn't know where else to go except here”. 

in that moment, you swung the door open, letting him in. he hesitated for a second, like he wasn't too sure if he should step inside but as he did, you caught the faint smell of his cologne, familiar and homely in a way that made your chest ache for him. 

“i couldn't stop thinking about you hon”, he said, words almost feeling too frantic and rushed, as if they’d been bottled in for too long. “every time i try to do the right thing and just stay away, it just… it never fuckin’ works. it never works and i never want it to work. but tonight, i just– i couldn't stay away. not in a million years”.

he seemed like he was on the verge of falling apart if you hadn't caught the tears gathering in his eyes. it was too much to take.

“ya think it's easy for me?”, he continued, voice breaking slightly. “i hate sneaking around to see you. i.. we cant even go on dates together and i just hate lying to sal. i hate feeling like im ruining everything. but not seeing you? pretending like you dont matter to me? pretending that the thing that we have is nothing? baby, that's worse. that's so much worse”.

“brian…” you start, but he shakes his head, stepping closer to you. 

“no”, he cuts you off gently. “just…please listen”, his hand at your hip, his thumb tracing a slow pattern against your skin. 

“you're so stubborn, you know that?”, he murmured, his voice soft. “you act like you don't want all this. like you don't need me or that you're fine keeping this… whatever this is… a complete secret. but trust me, i can see right through you baby”.

your breath hitches as he drags his thumb across your bottom lip, his gaze following the movement as if he was trying to memorize every second of it. “every time i touch you”, his voice deep, “you melt. you let me in, even though you're so scared of what might happen if someone found out. but right now? right now, it's just you and me”. 

it’s like you're under his spell. 

“still scared, baby?”, he asked, leaning down just enough that his lips were merely a breath away from yours. 

“no. no i’m not”, you whisper. you tried to sound confident but the tremble in your voice gave it away.

“but brian we shouldn't—”.

“i don’t care”, he says, voice making your heart ache. “you've been driving me insane, baby. do you even know how hard it is to hold back whenever i see you?”.

his lips find your neck, pressing slow, open-mouthed kisses all over your skin, each one making it more and more difficult to think. “let me take care of you baby. just tonight. no one has to know, i swear”.

you knew you had to stop this that there were a billion reasons why this was a horrible idea but when his hands gripped your waist and his teeth grazed the sensitive spot on the right side of your neck, every reason just went away. 

your breath hitched, the air between you both feeling impossibly warm. his soft touch was just enough to make you whimper, his hands leading you to the bedroom like he was afraid you might slip away from him forever.

“you don't know how long i've been waiting for this, bri”, you murmured against his skin. “to have you like this— i've been thinking about it for so long and it just seemed impossible..”

“brian..” you managed to whisper, your voice shaky as he got into your bed. you begin to curl his hair with your fingers as he's on top of you. you tug him back up to kiss you but this time, it was so much more slower and deeper, his tongue teasing yours as he kissed you like he had all the time in the world.

“i love the way you say my name”, he said, soft and low. his fingers trailed your body up and down, leaving goosebumps in its wake. he leaned down and slid his hand between your thighs, his fingers teasing your slick folds. you gasped, your hips lifting off of the bed as you sought more of his touch. he wanted it too, slipping one finger inside of you, then two, curling them just right to hit that spot that made you see stars. 

you moaned, your head falling back against a pile of pillows as he worked quicker and quicker. his rings brushed against your inner thighs, the cold metal being a total opposite to the heat of his skin. each thrust sent shivers racing down your body. his fingers stretched you out deliciously, making you arch your back, pressing your hips against his hand 

he rubbed tight circles around your clit with his thumb, plunging it deeper than you ever felt before. the rough texture of his skin and the coolness of his rings made a maddening combination of sensations. your juices flowed freely, coating his fingers while making obscene wet sounds as he worked harder and harder towards your orgasm. 

“look at you, so desperate for my touch”, he growled, breathing heavily. “your pretty little pussy’s grippin’ my fingers so tightly, like she doesn't want to let them go”, he chuckles. 

he curled his fingers rougher inside you, hitting that perfect spot that made your toes curl and your vision blur. at the same time, he pinched your clit between his thumb and forefinger, the cold metal of his rings making you scream out in pleasure. 

you cried out, your inner walls clenching around his fingers as wave after wave of pure ecstasy washed over you. he helped you work through your climax, fingers never stopping until you collapsed back onto the bed, spent and trembling. 

he pulled out his fingers, bringing them to his lips and sucking them clean, “fuck, baby, you taste better than i remembered. i could finger this sweet pussy all night long”. 

and you let him show you how good he could make you feel. 

[mimzy-writing-online]

Some Blind Things I (and actual blind person) Have Done

I talk all the time about what’s realistic for a blind person to do and how to write a blind character who isn’t a complete media myth of touching faces and super powers... soooo, part of that is knowing what kind of things an actual blind person (me) fucks up doing because I’m blind.

These moments include: Me sarcastically telling people I cannot see the thing they’re doing. Moments where I have zero manners. Moments where I do have manners. Making people uncomfortable because they’re staring at me. Great phrases like, “I have too much ADHD to count to eight.” and “It’s literally illegal for me to drive.” and “Wait, who are you?” “That’s not how we talk to people Mimzy.” My cats’ growing concern that I can’t see them or tell them apart but continuing to love me. Channeling my inner Toph Bei-Fong. Updates on the ongoing insomnia writing.

There’s no chronological order to them, I’m not sure there’s going to be any order to them at all, but it’s 3 am and I can’t sleep and it’s called the Late Night Writing Advice Blog for a reason.

(I definitely did not have to double check my own blog title while typing that, definitely not)

Note: This list gets a little long, but it’s a funny read and I was up until 4:30 (this note is from a future Mimzy who’s almost finished posting this, after 1.5 hours)

Additional Note: Feel free to send anons with commentary or reblog with commentary because I would love if someone enjoyed this. Like, these are stories of my life, please appreciate them.

The Things!

-My best friend and I hang out mostly at night because of his 9-5 job, and he still lives with his parents who probably don’t like me so when we hang out we’re mostly driving around on random adventures and coffee/tea runs and late night dinners. 

So it’s night, and my night vision is awful and I have to wear sunglasses anyway because what I can see is painfully bright headlights so yeah I see basically nothing.

With my best friend, I have

1. after asking him a question: “Did you nod at me and I just didn’t see it.” “I did nod.” or after waiting long enough for a response he’ll realize what he did on his own and say, “I was shaking my head no, sorry.”

2. Reaching into total darkness to touch his shoulder and touched his armpit instead.

3. Dropped something from my bag onto his messy car floor and asked him to find it for me because it all looks blurry and grey-black down there, even without sunglasses

4. Sensed he was going for a high five and I gave him a perfect high five. Surprised, he wanted to test it again. I completely missed.

5. “We’re passing the oil refinery, so enjoy hearing, touching, smelling, tasting that.” plus 3 other identical jokes on the same drive. “Hey, can you stop making blind jokes, I’m starting to hate them these days.” “When did that happen?” “When one not-great classmate slash sort of friend made them all the time.” “That’s a shame.” “Blind jokes from sighted people are also super repetitive. The only blind jokes I seem to like are from other blind people.”

6. Him: “You’re rolling your eyes behind your sunglasses, I can tell!” 

7. Once we saw snow once our way driving home from Las Vegas. It was March, it was after midnight, and the warmest it had been at any point in that night was 40 degrees Fahrenheit (4.4 degrees Celsius. That’s a real comparison?? That’s a scary number to an American who’s barely ever left California. We were driving through the mountainy area of California where the temp really drops and for three seconds we saw snow in the wind. Well, he saw it. Something moved, it was small and flaky but like... that was actually snow and I couldn’t see it? (this was three, almost four years ago)

8. Last weekend we drove around the rich neighborhoods to look at Christmas decorations because I love Christmas lights because for ones light actually looks pretty instead of painful and I can see it at night without hurting, so it’s nice. I love the pretty visual things. Blindness will not take the pretty visual things from me! And the decorations just make me so happy and I wanted to do that last year but never did, so we did that this year

9. I also told him about the cripple punk tag on Tumblr last weekend and he was delighted to know it exists because he’s got other chronic health issues including downright awful knees.

Other blind things not directly involving my best friend

1. I have paused writing to ask a sighted person if it’s realistic for my sighted characters to see X item from Y distance away. Usually my dad with his stupidly perfect vision.

2. Realizing I’m forgetting what sighted people can see. It’s been four years since I saw like a normal person. And all my sighted memories are literally blurry from age.

3. But I still have dreams where I see normally. And then dreams where everything is too bright like in real life and I cannot see and what is happening???

At home, specifically

1. I have three cats who I can’t tell the difference between. I have a small black and brown tabby cat. A black and orange tortie cat who is slightly heavy but medium build. An all black cat who is huge and has the longest fur I’ve ever touched on a cat. I cannot tell the difference between them until I’m up close. Especially if the lighting bad.

2. Tonight I almost set my laptop on top of Remy, my brown and black tabby, because I didn’t see here a foot away from me, curled up next to my leg, somehow blending in with my orange and blue comforter. Her concerned look I did see and was horrified by my almost fuck up and apologized profusely for.

3. Cannot see Felix, my black cat, half the time if the lighting is bad and have almost sat on him, put my feet in his face, tripped over him, etc. because he blends into the shadows and oh my fucking god I cannot see that.

Note: Remy cuddles with me all the time. Felix adores me but will not be caught dead cuddling anyone because dignity, but if he’s in my room and nobody’s around to see he’s insistent on cuddling. Rio (black and orange tortie) is devoted to my mum, and she knows she makes me nervous when she suddenly jumps on me and I get really shifty and squirmy and not fun to cuddle with, so we’re cool and I give her pets but she doesn’t usually crawl onto me unless she wants to make my mum jealous.

4. Can sneak up on family members and friends because I move so quietly, so at least there’s that. Not a blind thing, but it makes up for some things.

5. Have walked up to someone I thought was a friend, realized I don’t know them, and the first thing out my mouth was “Wait, who are you?” and then a close friend (and the party host) grab me by the shoulders and say, “That’s not how we talk to people,” and just like, where are your manners Mimzy, wtf, but I never saw that stranger again so it’s okay.

Side Note: blindness aside, I do have a habit of just rudely speaking my mind in not-appropriate settings because I just don’t care and don’t have the anxiety to at least act like I care. They’re very satisfying, but usually very rare moments.

6. Please stop moving things around the house!

7. “What do you mean there are cobwebs?” *Shines a flashlight at the dark corners of my room* “oh my god...”

8. Me, to my family members, “Please close those curtains, light hurts. Please turn off that lamp, it’s too bright in here.” *me, later turns off most of the lights in the house* Family members: “Why is it so dark in here? I can’t see.” *Me, channeling my inner Toph Bei-Fong* “Oh no, what a tragedy!”

9. Mum is the only one who vaguely appreciates my light sensitivity because she also has snow vision (a mild case) and has a little light sensitivity, sometimes, on her bad days.

More Not Quite Appropriate Things!

There are so many things that I say only to realize that there is a very nearby stranger who heard that out of context and it sounded so bad.

1. Best Friend (while I’m walking down stairs just fine, by myself, don’t need anyone’s help, I can do it!) “There are eight steps.” “I don’t need your help.” “I know but--” “I’m fine!” “I’m just trying to help.” “I have too much ADHD to count to eight anyway!”

“I have too much ADHD to count to eight anyway,” is exactly what two strangers heard while walking right behind me.

Why would you sneak up on someone who’s so obviously blind??

2. “Sea foam green is an ugly color anyway.” I was in a mall, it was well lit and I was using my cane and managing with my crap vision, but I managed to see that specific color I hate on a dress right next to me, and the woman walking on the other side of the mannequin display heard that and did a double take on my obviously blind self.

Or so I’m told by my mom who could see what happened.

3. Similar to above, I was in the Artist Village in San Diego, which is a huge tourist trap, and I was sort of a tourist too, but it’s freaking outdoors, so I have the cane and sunglasses. And I’m in an Artist Village (very visual thing) with my parents, so out of place. And this random dude was apparently staring at me. Cannot see him, absolutely no idea which direction my mum is pointing towards, everything is blank and weird and not see-able, but I turned my head and by some miracle looked directly at him and he freaked out and looked away.

4. “Oh yeah, make fun of the blind person!” sarcastically, but loudly, somewhere public after a joke a friend had made that I was actually okay with.

5. “Driving and hiking are my two biggest weaknesses,” said out of context to people who didn’t know I was blind.

6. “I forgot you were blind.” “Well I didn’t.” More channeling of Toph, I think.

7. “Why can’t you drive?” *points to cane* *he does not get it* “It’s very illegal for me to drive.” *does not get it* “They’re blind dude,” classmate says. “Very blind.” “You seem to get around just fine,” says the man who only see me indoors with the very best lighting scenario for my vision. “Yeah, but that’s because I have the cane.” “So?” You seem just fine, he seems to think. How dumb are you? I definitely think. “Why do you need the cane?” “Because I would die if I didn’t have it. I have almost died. People would die if I tried to drive.”

8. Later: “Did he think you could just drive and use your cane to feel the road or something?” “I guess.”

9. More questions from other people who don’t know me very well asking why I can’t drive. “Because it’s illegal.” Their confusion is wondering specifically why it’s illegal rather than thinking I’m not actually blind. I explain the laws in the driving handbook, because I have read it (unlike some people I guess. How did you miss the ‘drivers must be able to see at least 20/40 with their best corrected eye” and I haven’t been in that category for two years.

Note: My day blindness came two years before my vision acuity reached visually impaired status. So, like, two years of wishing I had a cane but thinking “I’m not blind enough” and still being terrified in certain situations and risking my life walking around without one or some sighted guide.

Similar Public Things

1. I can see indoors pretty well so I get by on prescription glasses and no cane (I see 20/70 - 20/100 with glasses) but sometimes the mall is crowded and nobody gives me space and I’m just not comfortable getting so close to people, so I bust out my cane (and maybe my sunglasses too) so I look extra blind and people will give me the space to walk without running into someone.

2. Have also done that just because the indoor lights were also too bright and I need my sunglasses.

3. Have stared at my phone in public with cane/sunglasses, or tried taking photos with it, and I get so many weird looks because blind people see nothing I guess, none of us have any vision at all! (read sarcasm)

4. Walking into a coffee shop I’ve been to before and I know they change their teas all the freaking time. Also got the cane. “Hi, can you tell me what iced teas you have right now?” “Oh, they’re all on that sign.” *blank look* Do you not realize I’m blind? I’m thinking. “What kind of black tea do you have? Do you have any tropical black tea?” (because they usually do and I love tropical black tea, and they did that day too, so I ordered that.)

5. I cannot read menus. Those restaurants that have the menus above the register are awful, evil. Cannot read. In the wonderful days of my childhood I didn’t have prescription glasses for my moderately not great but still mostly functional vision (my dad has perfect vision and no concept whatsoever about what it’s like to not be able to see those things!) So imagine my parents dragging me to restaurants like that and I’m 10 years old and supposedly can read perfectly fine but I cannot read that menu and I think it’s some personal character fault of mine that I just don’t know how to read those kinds of menus, so I have to ask my mum to help me choose a food to order and eat, and then that’s the only thing I ever order any time I ever go back. So, I’m quickly getting sick of those places because I only eat one item there and I want to try something new with a restaurant with those nice hand held menus, but those are sit-down restaurants and apparently they cost more money, sooo...

6. That was a rant I went on with my best friend last weekend

Side note: It’s almost 4 am, my mum just woke up, saw the light on in my room from under the crack of my door and said hi. I’m at a point right now where she just expects it and isn’t one to judge (unlike my dad who has zero insomnia because he has hypersomnia and I don’t know how humans do that)

Side Note Ten Minutes Later: My laptop is at 10% but I plugged it in because dammit I am finishing this tonight and it will have all the things.

7. “Hey, where’s the trash can? I can’t find one.” *also mistakes a trashcan and a human being just sitting still. All the time* “Why not just litter then?” best friend asks, knowing exactly how I’ll respond. “I have manners!”

8. I hate traveling even a little by myself. My orientation and mobility skills with my cane aren’t that bad, but they’re not good enough for me to feel comfortable walking around by myself anywhere that isn’t super familiar with routes I already have practiced and memorized (school, close friend’s houses or apartments, the blocks in my neighborhood I’ve walked 500 times coming too and from school or walking dogs with my parents). Anywhere unfamiliar or wide/open or crowded or God Forbid, OUTSIDE is a source of terror and will not let my traveling companions leave me alone for longer than a few minutes and certainly not walk away on my own.

9. Will not go to bars because I present female and I am visibly disabled and that makes me look like an easy target and why would I risk that unnecessarily?

I’m gonna cut it off here. This is a long post, and I need to just finally go to bed. Goodnight. I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to send anons with commentary or reblog with commentary. I’d like to know that someone liked this.

[flipsideds]

“ oh, haha... ”  a default response to a very non-default situation –– a little post-show, barside rendez-vous with an older man who insists nour has been singing to directly to him the entire night. “ flirting ?  i... ”  

gentle eyes gloss over the banquet hall’s dimmed lights, bright smiles, flickering electric candles... “ . . . what’s that ? ”  and then he’s off, gin and tonic in hand. three strides and it’s already half-drained. yikes.

or, alternatively :  greetings loved ones!! my name is linc ( 21 / est / she/her ) and here is the ever so graceful, ever so unintentionally magnetic nour al-busiri! below the cut you’ll find a messy run-down. i am so excited to plot & write with all of you !!

( i’m scheduled for a tonsillectomy tomorrow so i’m gonna be so grateful for the distraction, y’all have no idea. ) 

if you want some great mood-setters for this beb’s backstory / insight into his soul, slap on some jacob collier, kevin garrett, or charlie burg ‘n let’s get cookin’ !

so this is all copy-pasted from a discord chat with devon bc i improvised nour’s entire life story over a span of... 10 minutes ?? bahaha pls enjoy i apologize in advance. ( i also put this in normal text size bc it is v long and i don’t want anyone hurting their eyes !! protect dem beautiful retinas <3 )

h i s t o r y .

his parents met in grade school in egypt, but then didn't reconnect until their masters studies crossed paths in london... immediately fell head over heels again ( had they been searching for one another in crowds since being 6-7 years old?? maybe... ). graduated top of their class, accepted job offers in london in the biopharmaceutical realm. but then. when nour was 3...

they were involved in a freak monorail accident on their way back from a science conference in amsterdam. the babysitter paid 80 quid to watch the kids for two nights became their sole protector in this world. british authorities had trouble contacting other kin, but managed to reach mr. al-busiri's mother, rashida, who was still living in dahab with her second husband, zaim.

the al-busiri's came from old money. so off nour goes ( and potentially his older bro if i decide he exists... potential wc with a rami malek fc tbh ) to live in the city which, unbeknownst to him, sparked his parents' storybook love.

so nour grows up in this like... picturesque seaside childhood. collects shells. bonds with his grandmother and her husband. they encourage him with school, etc. but he quickly shows that he excels at maths and... music? wow. that's unexpected. gets his first piano at 5. first guitar at 6. by 8 1/2, he's managed to hodge-podge together a little recording studio for himself in his bedroom, and he's constantly serenading his friends at school.

( death tw / illness tw ) then comes zaim's stroke. he lives for four months after, but he loses his ability to speak. his motor skills deteriorate. nour and his grandmother do their best to tend to him –– she's already about 40% down the macular degeneration path, but hasn't told him yet that her vision's going. so 10 y/o nour does what he does best: unconditional love and support, delivered through the gift of song. zaim dies after requesting his favorite song: 'blackbird' by the beatles, sung in verses alternating from english to arabic.

after,  it's just nour and rashida against the world ( maybe his brother too bergorghre if i decide he's a thing ) . rashida's forced to come clean about her vision the day she can't for the life of her find the bloody pen she just put down so she can finish signing off on nour's choir trip permission slip. ( it's right next to her, to her left, just out of her closing field of vision. ) things progress more rapidly after that. by the time nour's 16, his grandmother is legally blind. it's not an uncommon sight to see him at the markets or strolling along the beach with her on his arm. she refuses canes as long as nour's around. ( “ don't rob me of my youth, nuri-nuri [ my light ] ”  )

despite her growing dependency on him, she encourages him to apply to unis all over the globe. by the time college apps roll around, nour is somewhat of a local household name: he plays summer concerts, coffee shops, and is even asked to play at his teacher's wedding ceremony –– and his neighbor's cat funeral.

acceptances roll in. julliard. berkeley. chicago school of music. he chooses chicago, because there's someone there. someone he connected with online a few years back, a friend, but... could turn into something more. this hopeless romantic heedlessly ventures off to find out if this boy in chicago might... be someone. something more.

spoiler alert: he gets to chicago, starts music school. and each meet-up they set? gets pushed. sometimes it's traffic. a cold. transit trouble. can't get work off, sorry. things with ma are really tough. the excuses kept coming but... nour's naive. he believes every word. but in his second year of uni, things....... start getting suspicious. by chance, he spots this man in the window of a coffee shop downtown. overjoyed, he texts as much. but ... messages go read and unanswered. phone calls dwindle.

his music suffers. so does his muse. so much so that he's tempted to drop out, to throw in the towel, to just...... go back home. he speaks with his grandmother each day on the phone. she's doing well, stop worrying, nuri-nuri, your uncle is taking good care of me. nour goes on dates. thinks about chicago boy. thinks about him a lot.

he's 20 when it happens. sat on a stage in a little dive bar, tuning his acoustic guitar for an opening number, and there. those eyes. he knows them.

they talk after the show, in the alley. share a cigarette. and it's almost like... maybe things are finally clicking. maybe this is finally their shot.

except chicago boy ( neil ) says they have to stop talking. that he had to just... see nour for himself. see that he's real. hear him sing, and... move on. nour doesn't buy it. pushes back. asks why the hell neil'd come out now only to slink back to the shadows. things get heated. neil yells. and the men... the men who hear and come running ?  they think nour is the cause of it all.

( hate crime tw, violence tw )  how many kicks does it take to break to the center of a broken heart ? twelve. how many broken ribs does it take to immobilize a probably terrorist, dude ? four. shattered wrist. snapped ankle. broken arm. cracked skull. and neil scuttles off like nour's bad meat. bad blood. like he asked for this. 

chicago school of music receives a call from weiss memorial three days later.

nour never gets his degree. he breaks his apartment lease. flies home after he heals, spends a year with his grandmother and uncle. just... creating. writing, playing, trying to fill that void with something. but then things with his uncle get heated. he wants to put his own mother in a home, sell the estate, pocket the cash. nour fights it, but he's got no legal bearing.

the nursing home concept never takes hold, though, because his grandmother's still sharp as shit and refuses to sign anything nour doesn't read first. eventually the uncle grows tired of fighting and stops trying, just... slinks back to his husband and keeps his mouth shut. nour's grandmother pressures him to go back to chicago, make that city wish he never left. take back his own story. together they work to find a live-in aide they trust. freshly 22, nour ventures back to the city that broke him.

he finds cheap housing, a gig. the malnati, seems legit. good money. good exposure. and then he meets @ryderxmms​ –– they form one night stand. when not scheduled for malnati banquets, you can find nour providing vocals ( and occasional keys ) in the dive bars / parties the band lands gigs at.

g e n e r a l .

nour creates like food and drink don’t exist, sunlight is an illusion, and all the human body needs for sustenance is sound. he can find his way around just about any instrument under the sun, but his main poisons are piano, acoustic guitar, and digital recording tools –– think jacob collier and you’re right on the money.

actually, i’m stealing a lot of jacob collier discography and pegging it as his creations. this kid’s got an experimental sound and loves it.

he grew up speaking english and arabic equally, but because he learned english in london and then continued in egypt, he does have a mild brit-arab accent. it’s v cute, i promise.

looks like he’d be a total lothario, yeah ?? but. he’s so shy ?  so sweet ?  get him on a stage and he’s shameless but plop him in a bar and eye him up and he’ll honestly just smile nervously and pretend you’re looking at someone else.

love languages : singing to his succulents and plants before his 5am morning runs. facetime calls at times least convenient for him, but most convenient for you. little notes written on napkins, smiley face doodles included. candy bars. lingering a little longer in doorways after saying hello, just to see you smile.

he’s got major water sign vibes. birthday comin’ up in march, woot woot !!

he often wears very simple statement pieces. he likes rings, crystal pendants, leather bracelets. soft tees layered with embroidered jackets, metallic blazers. somehow he pulls off mixed media and crazy prints that should never go together ?  he just... is so easy breezy.

he often wears his hair wild ‘n curly, unless the gig he’s got mandates a more streamlined look. 

falls in love.... 14 times a day ??  really.

has a scar across his left temple from the incident with neil. will probably write it off as a bike riding accident. ( he doesn’t know how to ride a bike. )

don’t let him cook ever, okay ??  unless you want him to literally do this.

pls come at me for all the plots ?  i’m so open for all the things !!!  y’all got me on discord, so feel free to slide on into my dms. i promise i will be so thrilled <3

[mtvswatches]

Jane the Virgin 2x16 Chapter Thirty-Eight

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) All the Villanuevas are staying at the Marbella for free and making the most of it. Pablo is also staying there with Alba? How do you go from “he’s cursed” to “move in with me and my family to this hotel while my house gets repaired”? Man, Alba was really thirsty, am I right?

2) Rogelio is planning Jane’s wedding and he wants to invite the President of Mexico, Charo, and Oprah. Sounds like the event of the year, if you ask me.

3) Hm. Michael was interrogating Rafael’s brother and Rafael burst into the room pissed at the fact that his brother was being interrogated without a lawyer. I’m not buying it. I think Rafael and Michael are probably in cahoots and trying to get Rafael’s brother to trust him by creating scenarios in which Rafael stands up for him. Or Rafael is an idiot. It’s a toss-up, really.

4) Michael and Jane are looking for a new house and Jane is torn between what Michael and herself want as a couple and what’s best – and fair – for Mateo and his relationship with his dad. Rafael offered to chip in with the difference so that she can get the place she wants in Miami, and I honestly can’t see why this would be a problem? I certainly don’t know the laws in Miami, but in my country parents are supposed to pay for rent as part of child support, so it would be kind of like that? But I can imagine Michael won’t have any of Rafael’s “charity”. What do I get if he uses that word when he argues with Jane?

5) Petra is going through a rough patch because unlike Jane she doesn’t have a whole support system to help her navigate the first few months of motherhood. Both Jane and Rafael notice she’s kind of down, and Petra ends up asking Jane to take her out, which I’m here for.

6) Kudos to Michael. He didn’t use the word charity, but as expected, he wasn’t on board with the idea of Rafael giving them money to buy the house.

7) Hmmm. Jane convinces Rafael to accept her moving 40 minutes away just for a year to see if they can work it out. She actually uses Rafael’s argument that they need to make compromises against him, and this doesn’t seem like a compromise? It seems like she’s getting everything she wants and kind of screwing her baby daddy over? Look, Rafael is hardly my favorite, but he does seem to be a good dad so far, he’s very invested in all of his children, and I don’t think this scenario is fair to him.

8) Ah, okay, Alba hasn’t slept with Pablo. YET. She’s a tease, though. You go, girl!

9) OH MY GOD ARE THEY SEVENTEEN? GETTING MARRIED SO THAT THEY CAN GET LAID?! WTF!

I know she hasn’t had a good laid in years, but chill, lady! Have a taste first!

10) I don’t think this is what Petra meant when she asked Jane to take her out…

11) Okay…

12) Yep, Petra seems to be suffering from postpartum depression. That should be interesting, if it’s not only one-episode thing. It’s not a storyline that’s usually explored in TV shows, so I hope they handle it well.

13) Clearly, Rafael is not comfortable with Jane moving away with Mateo…

But then Petra intercedes and scolds him because he was “preventing Jane from having his dream house”? And while I do appreciate the fact that Petra and Jane have mended fences and Petra did not take the chance to drive a wedge between Jane and Rafael and actually took a stand for Jane instead…

Rafael still has rights? He’s the father? He has every right to be concerned he won’t be able to spend as much time with his son as he deserves? Why should he be the only one compromising and giving away time with his kid so that Jane can get her “dream house” with her new husband? I don’t like this, and I don’t like the show presenting this as the Good Resolution of the problem. Nope. Not one bit.

14) Rogelio’s character is having tea with Marie Antoinette and seriously, I want to see this TV show...

 ...but I’m also wondering, is this Jane the Virgin mocking Outlander, because if so,…

15) Oh, Rogelio. He always means well but ends up putting his foot in his mouth. He was so eager to get all of his three million friends in the wedding that he actually said: “Why not? I am paying for it.” And that was the last straw. Jane is not having it and she is right. It is her and Michael’s wedding so it should be any way they see it fit, and Rogelio has to accept it. Knowing Rogelio, he’ll apologize and understand why it was wrong of him to try to turn their wedding into his own private party.

16) Mateo is almost walking and Jane FINALLY realized they can’t move there because Mateo NEEDS to be close to his father. FINALLY. Thankfully, Michael understood, too.

17) Petra made an appointment with a therapist to treat her post-partum depression (GOOD!) but now she needs to ask her mother if she suffered from it, too.

18) Ha! I KNEW IT!

The narrator sets this up as “Michael is spying on Rafael” but I KNOW they’re in cahoots. THEY’RE IN CAHOOTS, I TELL YA! (I just love the word cahoots, alright?)

19) Well, Xiomara did bring up a good point. Rogelio missed most of Jane’s milestones, that’s why he’s probably going over the top with this one. Jane is now considering pleasing her dad and letting him have a big party.

20) So, not only is Pablo cursed but he’s also a two-timing asshole…

I knew I couldn’t trust that mustache.

21) You do not want to mess with Alba.

But now I’m like, what was the point of this whole storyline? Huh? Introducing a character as Alba’s great first love and the curse and blah blah blah? And now he’s just gone after two episodes? They really don’t know what to do with Alba as a character.

22) This honestly made me laugh…

PETRA: The doctor asked for my family history, so I was wondering if, um, well, after you had me, did you ever feel depressed? MAGDA: Depressed? I had baby girl. In Czechoslovakia. In 1985. Of course I was depressed. You were depressed. The neighbor who delivered you was depressed. We were all depressed.

23) I just can’t get over the fact that ROGELIO IS THE BEST? EVER? He comes off as shallow and ditzy but he’s also a keen observer and he always puts his loved ones first? And him and Xiomara? Now, that’s an example of a healthy relationship. I kind of don’t care about Jane’s love life, to be honest, I’m not into it at all (probably because I don’t relate to Jane as a character? Idk.) and I don’t necessarily ship Rogelio and Xiomara, but I just find them so wholesome and mature? Yes, they do on occasion act childish, but they always, always find a way to have an adult conversation about their feelings and desires. Anyway, I’m ranting. Rogelio wants to throw the perfect wedding party for Jane, but he understands he may not know what Jane likes considering he’s still getting to know her. So, even though he’d set out to ignore Xiomara hoping she’d miss him and ask him to get back together, he approaches her, comes clean about his previous intentions, admits that he understands they’re done, but argues that they’re still family and they’ll always be, so he asks her to help him plan the wedding, and she agrees with a smile on her face, and it’s just so healthy and wholesome and lovely.

24) I. WAS. RIGHT. Rafael and Michael are IN CAHOOTS! And they also had a very mature conversation about the whole new house thing. Jane and Michael finally found their dream house nearby and thought it was too cheap. Therefore, they assumed Rafael had paid the difference. While this eventually was not true, it did lead to Michael choosing to compromise as well, which is a great development.

25) This was cool…

Rogelio recreated Jane’s house at the studio so that she can get married where she had always wanted to get married – her house. What’s cool about it is that they’ve clearly used the show’s real sets for this. It feels meta, doesn’t it?

26) Oh. Petra bought the house for them. Nice. I hope.

27) It feels like the end of an era.

28) Petra can’t be leaving her daughters, can she?!

Is... this... what they were planning to do with the postpartum storyline? Huh?

29) It was an alright episode but I still don’t feel this magic “I’m in love with this show” feeling and the season arcs and plots are a bit messy, in my opinion. Is this normal? When did you guys fall in love with the show? I feel like I should have already, but I’m just not feeling it…

30) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[raekaotik]

Here we go?

So, @ebbqol tagged me to do this forever ago. I'm slow as shit, but here it is.

1. Name: Rae

2. Zodiac Sign: Cancer Sun, Aries Moon, Leo Rising. So much fire....

3. Three Fears: Spiders, heights, needles

4. Three Things I Love: Skulls, dragons, the color black

5. My best Friend: What are friends??? Probably my husband, people don't seem to stick around to reach best friend level. And I'm horrible at opening up.

6. Last Song I Listened To: Uuummmm Oh Lord by In This Moment

7. Four Turn ons: Sass, dominance, intelligence, and a sense of humor

8. Four Turn Offs: Loud ignorance, holier-than-thou attitudes, stereotypical girliness, not listening (especially to no)

9. Dream Date Scenario: Something personal, which of course sounds super vague. If an idea/activity/event/anything immediately makes you think of me, then it is most likely a good idea. I don't like flashy or expensive dates, we could literally just watch something on Netflix or get a Redbox and have takeout, and I'll be over the moon. Just give me your time, and I'll try my best to make it worthwhile.

10. Tattoos/ Piercings: I have 6 tattoos, currently; a crescent moon on my hip, a barcode on one ankle and a chain of paper people on the other, Disturbed's Guy and a Hylian shield on one calf, and the Evanescence logo on the other. I only have piercings in my ears; one set is gauged to 00, and I have 2 in the left ear and 3 in the right.

11. Why I joined Tumblr: Truthfully, so I didn't have to steal my husband's phone to look at porn, and I've found all sorts of fun, not perverted things as well. Now there's very little porn on my dash.

12. How I feel Right Now: Tired as shit, but I'm a glutton for punishment.

13. Something I really, really want: My own space to be myself, and people that love me who understand that I just need to be a burrito sometimes.

14. My relationship status: Married with 2 wonderful step kids.

15. The meaning behind my URL: I prefer Raynai, but that spelling was taken.

16. Favorite songs: Shit, umm... Anything Disturbed, Bloody Creature Poster Girl by In This Moment, Battle Born by Five Finger Death Punch, Papa Roach's Born for Greatness, Natural Born Killer by Avenged Sevenfold, Shinedown's cover of Simple Man..... There's a ton along those lines.

17. Favorite Movies: Every Riddick movie, The Emperor's New Groove, A Knight's Tale... I know there's more, but I'm drawing a blank at the mo.

18. Favorite bands: Disturbed, Avenged Sevenfold, Papa Roach, Three Days Grace, In This Moment, Halestorm, Five Finger Death Punch, Shinedown... Oodles

19. Three things that upset me: Not being able to help those I care for, people quick to judge, and being expected to change to appease someone.

20. Three things that make me happy: Creepy-cute things, anything Zelda, tiny versions of things

21. Three things I find attractive in other people: Wit, humility, emotional maturity

22. Something I love: Sleep

23. Someone I miss: My mother

24. My relationship with my parents: My mom, great. I don't really talk to my dad anymore.

25. My favorite holidays: Halloween, Thanksgiving, and 4th of July.

26. Someone from tumblr I would date: Hhrrrmmmmmm yeah. No clue.

27. A confession: I am often too lazy to eat, even though my stomach is making all the rumblies.

28. Favorite drinks: Cherry Coke, ruby red and tangerine juice, Full Throttle.... Ice water is also nice.

29. Favorite foods: Pastas, tomato sauces, BREAD, snacks, candies, sunflower seeds

30. Favorite smells/ scents: Lilac, lavender as long as it's not super strong, jasmine, dragon's blood, burning wood, sulfur..... black cherry

31. Three things that annoy me easily: Being spoken over when actually part of a conversation, being talked down to, and being interrupted while reading.

32. My pets: Oh damn.... 2 dogs, Kara the pit bull and Abbie the pit/lab mix; 2 cats, all black Salem and Tiger the dark tabby; 2 bearded dragons, Dante and Lucifer, and a piebald ball python, Gunn.

33. How I got into witchcraft: Cheesily enough, my mom and I used to watch Charmed all the time when I was little... I was always interested in witchy stuff, and in highschool I started looking into Wicca. It was a decent start, but it didn't quite fit. When I finally moved out I started doing more research, and now here we be. I'm still working out kinks (ha), but I do know that spirit work is a thing I enjoy.

34. My practice/path: I am a beginning spirit worker who's still trying to find her feet. I find Celtic and Norse mythologies interesting but I'm still digging.

35. Something that’s constantly on my mind: ....Yes? I tend to have an internal chatter running, and there's almost always parts of songs floating around in there.

36. Three habits I have: I apologize a lot, and I pick at my nails/cuticles too much, and I don't speak up when I sometimes should.

37. My future goals: To have a stable home life and the income to provide for my family. I don't need to be rich, I just want to be able to pay bills and afford food. I also want to iron out my path and maybe pass it on to future children.

38. Something I fantasize about: Having a tiny house. Clearly not as my main house, but I'd use it for witchcraft or reading or crafting. It'd be my space to be me.

39. Favorite Colors: Black, blood red, hunter green

40. What I did yesterday: Worked. So exciting.

41. My talents: Ummmmm math, sarcasm, chainmaille... This is always a hard question.

42. Celebrity crushes: Lizzy Caplan, Russell Crowe, and Matt Gubler, off the top of my head.

43. Myers- Briggs Type: INFP-T

44. Chinese Zodiac: Year of the Rooster

45. Ideal place to live: Somewhere quiet with lots of trees, preferably near mountains. Not isolated, but not on top of neighbors either.

46. My perfect day: A whole day where I can lay around and do nothing, or anything.

47. Where I want to vacation to: What are vacations?

48. Do I want kids: At some point, but not this minute.

49. My favorite thing to learn about/ study: Learning is awesome, in general, but science is cool as shit.

50. A random fact or quirk about me: My typing style changes a bit when I'm angry. Like, I use proper phrasing and grammar, and tend to stop using contractions like don't or can't.

[oppatxtme]

Christian Yu: What’s On Sight (2)

CHRISTIAN YU x READER x JAY PARK

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7  // Chapter 8 // Chapter 9

WARNING: Just some curse words in some part. (sorry)

A/N: (Nhaks lakas maka-A/N HAHA!) Anyways, hello guys! Here I am again. Sorry if I uploaded this late? Or too early? That it's too short for my liking. The truth is I planned to add this to the first post but decided not to. To avoid confusion. Again I apologize with this. I’m still new to this and had a lot to learn. Hope that you all understand. Thank you for that!

Also, just keep in mind that English is not my native language so there might be some spelling and grammar error. Sorry for my lack of talent and I promise to work hard on this. Thank you and please enjoy. Any feedback is well loved. <3

The day went fast and tiring.

  As you finish the last report that you needed to submit for the day, you checked on the time on your desktop.

  It's already 4 pm. One more hour and you’re out of that hell place.

  Lost in thought, you got surprised when your direct telephone rang. You checked the caller ID flashing, hoping that it’s not your OIC.

  And when you see the ID number, and the name of your friend, you answer it smiling.

 "Hey! Are you sleeping and it took you so long to pick up?" You hear her laughing.

  "Of course not. How can I sleep when my assistant keeps on sending me reports that I need to double check just because she doesn’t have any confidence in it." You act as if you're irritated.

  "Well, I apologize for that Madam, if you find me as useless as ever. Don't you worry; I'll make it up to you. How about we grab some pizza or something after work?"

  "Wow! Looks someone is in a good mood."

  You remember that just last week, you both gone out for some girls night out just because she and his boyfriend got a fight.

  "Do I sound like that?" she laughs as if it surprised her.

  "So what’s the plan? Tell me before I change my mind and just go straight home."

  "I already send you a message about it. But I think you’re not checking your cell phone. That's unusual."

  "Ah, you did?"

  "What's up?" she sounds worried. "Oh shoot! Mrs. Nashreen is calling on the other line. Let's just talk about it later."

  "Okay, but there's nothing to talk about." You said before dropping the call.

  'Haaaash... Now that I'm done with my work, I guess it's time to face my dilemma that I tried to forget while working.'

  You get your mobile on one of your tables drawer. It's on ‘Do Not Disturb' mode that’s why you didn’t even notice it at all.

  But when you scroll the notification you had. Your eyes got bigger that it could pop out at any second.

   After reading his last message, you checked the time and end up calculating it on the one hour he said.

  'AAAAAAARGH! Just 5 minutes left!'

  Without giving it much of a thought, you just swipe his contact ID and the next thing you saw on your mobile screen is that you're calling him.

  After just one rang on the other line, he picks up.

  'God, why did he answer so quickly. Did he really wait for me all day? Now I feel so terrible. Way to go Y/N.'

  "Y/N?" Just hearing him say your name in a very sad voice doesn’t make you feel any better.

  "Oh? Christian.. What’s up? What’s with all the fuzz?" You tried to ignore the fact that he just confesses to you earlier that day.

  'You just level up on your stupidity. Congrats Y/N'

  He didn’t answer, instead, you heard his sight. "Don’t be like that Y/N. We needed to talk, and you know why."

  Now it’s your turn to sight a long one. Just to calm your mind.

  "I'm so sorry Christian. You know that I already had so much in mind before and after hearing what you said, my mind just went blank. Honestly, I felt like I've been in a total auto-pilot mode till now."

  "I know. It’s okay, and I'm sorry if I end up pressuring you with all of this. I really am sorry Y/N. Please don't hate me."

  "Wait, what? Why would you think that I hate you?"

  "Well because you -" He will say something more but you cut him off.

  "Is it because I didn’t respond on any of your calls and messages?" You guessed.

  "Well, yeah."

  You laugh. Even though you’re not sure what for, but you just felt like it’s the only way you could think clearly with all this over thinking shit.

  "Christian Yu, you know for a fact that it’s hard for me to hate you and it's stupid of me if I even think of hating you just because of what you said." You decide to be positive about it. 'Positive thoughts'. "Tell you what, why wouldn’t we just talk more about this once I got home?"

  "Are you still at work? I'm sorry, did I disturb you? I hope not." He sounded more worried all of a sudden.

  "Don't worry too much Christian, I'm done with my work and just waiting for the time so I can finally go. And please enough saying 'SORRY', you know I hate that word. And ‘what’s done is done’ remember? That’s my motto. Haha!"

  "Okay, if you say so. I'm just happy that we're now talking and you confirmed me that you don’t hate me. Thank you, Y/N."

  You couldn’t help but smile dumbly by yourself. Somehow you felt relieved. And with all the things that keep on happening to you, this is the first time you felt that you can get through this.

  "No worries Christian. Just don’t stress yourself about me. I'm fine. Trust me with this; I can handle with my trashy life." You laugh when you heard him chuckle. "Oh yeah, I and Jamie have plans after work. So I might go home late. It's already 10 pm there, right? So how about I'll just call you tomorrow?" You happily suggested.

  "Hmmmm.. Y/N?" He sounded worried again.

  "What is it?"

  "How about we just talk this all out by tomorrow?"

  "Didn’t you heard me when that’s exactly what I just said? Haha."

  "No. I mean, you and me, really talk about it tomorrow?"

  "That’s what I've been saying. Now you're confusing me."

  "Well, you said that it’s hard for you to hate me right? And I won’t say sorry because as per you, what’s done is done. I'll just hold to your words."

  "What the heck are you blabbering about CHRISTIAN YU?!" Now you're confused. An idea pops in your head and hoping that what you think is wrong.

  'Oh, you didn’t BAROM YOO! Or else you're definitely a dead meat!'

  "I kinda already booked a direct flight to Dubai just before you called."

  "YOU WHAAAAAT?!"

  "Ergh, I thought you wouldn’t call. And I really wanted to talk to you face facing Y/N. Please understand."

  "AAAARGGSSSSH! Seriously Christian Yu! How can you just decide all that just because I didn’t respond to you? You're making me insane."

  "Because scared got the better of me Y/N. Scared that you might be gone in my life just like that. Scared that you've might decide to agree on your father’s terms. Scared that you might hate me. And scared to see you again with someone that isn’t me."

  "Do you really love me that much Barom?"

  You secretly cursed yourself by letting that question slip your mouth instead of just keeping it to yourself.

  "God knows Y/N, I've always been in love with you. I just don't know how not to. Please forgive me."

  What good deed did you do in your past life to even deserve to hear those very words Y/N.

  You felt goosebumps and your face got red as an apple.

  "Saying that won't save you on my punch and kicks once you step your foot here Christian. I won't give you any mercy with this." You said jokingly.

  You heard him laugh. And it melts your heart. You felt weird.

  "What can I do, there’s no refund policy. So I guess I'll just wear a punch proof or something."

  You laugh at his lame joke.

  You're about to say something when you heard a knock on your office door. When it open, a head of someone you’re too familiar with pops out.

  "Oh, my! Jay Park in the flesh!" You said smiling back to the person who just finally enter your office. But the smile you had doesn’t stay that long when someone came behind him. "Dad?"

  Lost and confuse is written all over your face.

  "Y/N?"

  You almost forgot that you’re talking to Christian.

  "Oh yeah, something came up Ba. I'll just talk to you later."

  And you end the call without waiting for his reply.

  And you felt bad about it. But the two person towards of you is just too much to set aside.

  Now that I think about it, I don’t know if I will feel relieved or not once Christian arrived by tomorrow.

  (CHRISTIAN YU POV)

 You heard a knock, you thought it’s your door, but it’s on Y/N.

  "Oh, my! Jay Park in the flesh." She seemed surprised.

  'Huh? Jay Park? The Jay Park? Why would he be there? Did Y/N know him? I have no idea. What the heck is going on there? What’s with all this?'

  "Dad?" She sounded worried.

  'Fuck! Don't tell me-?!'

  "Y/N?"

  "Oh yeah, something came up Ba. I'll just talk to you later." And then she hang-ups.

  'Shit! I really need to be with Y/N fast!'

  You contact again your secretary if it’s possible to book you with much earlier flight other than the one you already book.

  Good enough she informed you that there’s an available flight and its within two hours from now.

  Without any thought, you told her to change your flight with that and with any more words you hang up.

  You need to get your things ready. And will just talk to the crew about your plan once you're already checked in.

  You can’t take any more risk on delaying yourself to be with Y/N.

  I know they will understand. Well, I do hope so. I just love her so much that I can't just sit back any longer. And what more worrying you is Jay Park.

  What has he had to do and he just pops up like that.

TO BE CONTINUE...

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7  // Chapter 8 // Chapter 9  

I apologize if it's too short. Time check 2:40 am and need to get some sleep. Haha. Thank you for reading. wait for the next update. Let's all see how Jay Park fit in this messy life Y/N have. ^__^

[sexxmacfarlane-blog]

Hungry Eyes, Starving Heart

A Seth MacFarlane Fan Fiction

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: Hey everyone! I decided to make a fan account because my personal was not meant for writing. Its just random posts that I reblog. I honestly had no idea Seth had this many fans on tumblr. I used to write Teen Wolf fan fiction about a year ago so I’m a bit rusty but please leave feedback and if you want more chapters. Right now its PG but smut is to come in later!

What do most students do their senior year of high school? Party and have fun. They stay busy planning their prom dates, saving for senior trip and enjoying their last year as a child. But me? I am busy trying to make sure I get into my dream college, University of California-San Diego. I want to major in biology and spend my life studying various diseases then ultimately finding a cure for them. In order to achieve this sort of feat I am literally pushing myself to limit. Obtaining every possible credit I can get my hands on and perfecting my only extra curricular activity, choir. I am up to my eyeballs in things I have to get completed and if it weren’t for my best friend I wouldn’t know what to do.

“Top of the morning love!” Nora’s voice chimed into my ear. I shook my head out of my day dream.

“Morning you. Did you bring me one of those?” I asked while eyeing the large coffee she had in her hand.

“This one is yours, I already downed mine. Wow you look like shit El. What’s wrong?” She sounded like a total mom.

“Thanks and I appreciate the compliment too. I didn’t sleep much last night. Was up late finishing my summer projects. I had so much I couldn’t finish everything in time. My dad made me go on vacation for 2 weeks and that took up a lot of valuable time.” I finished with a shrug.

“Elise you have always been the smartest girl in school. Your grades are fine. Why so much worry? Its our senior year! Let’s relax before we both go off to big bad college.” Nora said sweetly. She honestly means well but simply doesn’t understand.

“Nora you know I have to get into San Diego. Its my dream. I have to earn my keep, I just can’t waltz in! Now please quiz me.”

I handed her a deck of flash cards for English and had her quiz me on the definitions. She showed me each word and I stated the definitions with ease. We were almost done with the deck when something, or someone I should say caught my eye. Entering the cafeteria was a man I had never seen before. He carried a brief case and was wearing a teacher I.D. badge. I couldn’t stop myself from watching him as he went through the line and grabbed a quick meal. He thanked the cafeteria clerk with a bright warm smile. My lips automatically twitched into barely noticeable a grin. He was contagious.

“Earth to Elise, hello? You mean to tell me you can’t tell me the definition of personification after acing the college level vocabulary in the first half of the deck?” I could hear Nora but I wasn’t able to speak. The mysterious man had me completely entranced. Finally she noticed what I was staring at.

“Oh okay, I bet that’s the new English teacher, you know Mrs. Holloway is on maternity leave for the rest of the year right?” Nora asked.

“Yeah he must be, I have never seen that man before in my life. Wow I had no idea she wouldn’t be coming back?” I replied.

“Oh yeah she said 6 weeks wasn’t long enough and she wasn’t ready to leave her baby just yet. I doubt she will ever come back! So I guess you did most of this summer work for nothing.” Her tone was playful now, she found this funny.

“Well hopefully he will pick up where she left off. I want to stay above the game regardless. Was it just me or was he kinda cute ?” I asked. Nora snorted and almost choked on her spit.

“What? That old guy? He’s was like what 40? No way El. What’s wrong with you? He is old enough to be our dad for christ’s sake!” My face instantly turned red. Yeah she’s right I thought to myself, too old and I was crazy for thinking he was cute. Get a grip Elise.

“Never mind I mean from a distance he looked cute.” Nora nodded and just like that brushed the whole situation off. She was too busy scrolling through her phone to continue caring. I nibbled at the rest of my breakfast while reading a book. After what felt like an eternity the bell rang out to dismiss us to 1st period. I had AP physics and had no idea who my classmates were going to be. Nora was my only real friend and no offense she didn’t care about school as much as I did. And all of my classes were AP besides choir of course which was the only class I had with her. The first 4 classes went by slowly. They were spent handing out books and going over the syllabus. I was starving by the time lunch came around. Unfortunately Nora and I didn’t share the same lunch period either so here I was stuck defending for myself while trying to find a seat. The indoor cafeteria was absolutely full, the tables outside were also. I wandered the grounds until I found an empty picnic table by a tree. It was vacant thanks to its distance from the school. I didn’t mind though, I always left lunch early anyways to ensure I wouldn’t be tardy. I sat down with my tray and continued reading in my book since I was alone. I popped earbuds in to better concentrate on the words in front of me. Mindlessly munching down on a cheese burger I was startled by a tray dropping on the table. I quickly jumped up while yanking my headphones out.  

“Oh my apologies, I didn’t mean to startle you. I was just looking for a spot to eat, apparently this is the most crowded lunch period and  I noticed you had this whole table to yourself. Mind if I join you?” I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was the new teacher that I spotted from this morning. He was even more breath taking up close. His dark brown eyes that resembled coal earlier were now like honey in the sunlight, his smile was beautiful thanks to his spotless white teeth. His jet black hair was styled very casual in a sort of messy quiff. I noted then he was very tall too, especially compared to my short stature. I must have looked like an ant through his eyes. I struggled to find my words but eventually did.

“Oh of course pl…please sit. I was just really into my book and didn’t see you. No one ever bothers me when they see I have headphones in.”  I replied with a small smile.

“Thank you miss. I’m new here so I’m not too keen with all the rules. I’m Mr. MacFarlane by the way. You are?” He said while extending his hand out. I softly grabbed it as he shook softly.

“I’m Elise Goodman. You are the new English teacher correct?” I said curiously. I tried not to sound nervous. He was so gorgeous that it was becoming intimidating.

“Pleasure meeting you Ms. Goodman. And yes I’m Mrs. Holloways replacement. I must say I’m pretty nervous. I have been subbing at the college for quite sometime. High schoolers? That’s a whole new world.” His voice was beyond beautiful, it was deep and elegant. He sounded like someone who should talk on the radio or voice the previews in movie theaters. I was hanging onto every word that fell from his lips. He spoke about moving here from a neighboring town, he said most of the teachers here weren’t very welcoming. He claims because of his previous position but I think it’s because of his physical appearance. He looked like a model in comparison to the rest of the staff. Most of the teachers here were either old or super nerdy. His profession didn’t fit his appearance at all.

“Richard Dawkins? Really?” He asked while pointing down to my book.

“Uh yeah I am kind of a biology freak. Mr. Dawkins is my hero.” I said with a blush. He noticed and smiled at me.

“Why are you embarrassed? That is something to be proud of. You seek education. Do you know how rare that is these days?” He sounded like an angel speaking to me. Once again my cheeks told on me.

“Well I…I’m a dork. That’s not something to be proud of. I am literally teased for being myself which just so happens to be a huge nerd. I love science more than most 18 year old girls.” He laughed  at my reply. I felt hurt, that wasn’t meant to be funny at all it was the truth.

“You shouldn’t care what your peers think. In 10 years you will be successful and they will be assistant managers in a super market down town. You will go places while they are stuck with minimum wage.” Wow he was blunt. Not really in a rude way but in a literal manner. He wasn’t afraid to speak his mind and I envied that. I was always too scared to say anything in fear of making someone mad.

“I have never really thought of it that way before?” I bit my lip and looked down at my watch. I gasped and gathered my things up.

“I am so sorry but I have to leave now, I can’t be late for 5th period. I’m always early for class and this one is on the other side of the building. It was great talking with you Professor MacFarlane! Thank you for sitting with me.” I pushed my glasses up onto my nose and threw my bag over my shoulder. I dropped my book on the ground and quickly bent over to pick it up when I realized my skirt had climbed further up my waist. Damn uniforms were always messing up. I grabbed the book up quickly and threw it into my bag. I shimmed my skirt down hoping he hadn’t seen my underwear and half my ass. He cleared his throat loudly, I spotted a grin and I knew at that moment he had seen everything. How embarrassing! Great, I flashed the hot new English teacher after just meeting him. My face was now the color of a ripe tomato. I wanted to turn around and apologize but I couldn’t face him after that. I scurried away and bolted through the side door. Nora just so happened to be at her locker as I ran to her she laughed seeing me in my current state.

“Elise what the hell are you running from? The first bell hasn’t even rang yet.” She asked while I tried to catch my breath.

“Okay so the new English teacher his name is Mr. MacFarlane by the way, he joined me for lunch outside. And uh well I accidentally flashed him my whole ass! I bent over to pick up my book that fell and my skirt had slid up over my hips and bam. It was just on display. I could have died Nora! I was so embarrassed! He was way cool and now I ruined it.” Her eyes grew wide then she burst out into laughter.

“Only you El, only you. I swear that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. Now every time he sees you in class he is going to think about your ass! Wait you had underwear on right? Or was it a thong?”  She asked in a serious tone.

“Fuck Nora I have regular underwear on! Thongs are very uncomfortable.” She rolled her eyes at my response.

“No they’re not, virgins don’t wear thongs. I forgot you have yet to be deflowered my little friend.” She patted my shoulder.

“Oh hush. I just haven’t found a guy I’m attracted to in that way yet.” I grumbled while digging around in my locker.

“I think you have. You’re hot for teacher aren’t you! No need to confess, I know you are, after your little statement this morning. You want the English teacher! God that’s so gross. He is ancient Elise. I mean at least settle for a college guy.” Nora went on ragging me into the next century.

“I am not hot for teacher! I mean he is insanely attractive, nice, intelligent and…fuck it. I am. Kill me now Nora!” I admitted defeat.

 Nora and I parted ways, I had 2 more classes before AP English. It was my last class of the day and I am not going to be able to look Mr. Macfarlane in the face. The next 2 periods went by too fast for my liking. I was biting my nails in AP European History just knowing when the bell chimed I would have to enter his classroom. I gathered my books for 7th period and made my way inside. Of course I was early, but thankfully he wasn’t in the room yet. I took a seat in the back of the class near the window. Within minutes the room started filling up. I watched the door anticipating him to be next. Then finally he stepped in. He had an large coffee in hand and a stack of papers.  

“Afternoon everyone. My name is Mr. Macfarlane. I am the new English teacher. I was working at the college but took this exciting new offer. High school is a whole new ball park but I look forward to this opportunity. Especially the fact that this is an AP class so that means you all actually give a shit. Pardon my French but I am simply being truthful.” We all laughed as his comment. We knew exactly what he meant. He passed out the syllabus and went over it. He was picking up where right around where Mrs. Holloway left off and I was relieved. He told us the summer projects needed to be left on his desk at the end of the week. Thankfully he was easy on us since it was the first day and we spent the rest of the class talking amongst ourselves. I didn’t really like anyone else in this class so I went straight to reading. I was alone in the back corner and that’s how I liked it. Everyone else chattered in groups and my ears picked up on a nearby conversation. It was Laura Compton and her friends. They were the class bitches. No one liked them but every guy wanted to sleep with them. And they were known for getting around town. Okay now I sound like a 70 year old man. To put it bluntly they were just a bunch of whores. Laura was going on about how hot Mr. Macfarlane was. So I wasn’t the only one…Nora just has bad taste. Anyways the way they were talking about him was making my blood boil. Like he was an animal up on the auctioning block. They were only interested in a fuck. I actually wanted to get to know him better, he was so sweet and interesting. I ground my teeth at their words. I couldn’t focus on my book anymore. I looked up at the clock and it was almost time for the dismissal bell. When I looked up Mr. Macfarlane’s eyes were glued to me. I quickly looked back down. Then he stood up and made an announcement.

“I need to see Elise Goodman after class.” Hearing him say my name made my heart skip a beat. Laura and her clique casted their glares at me. I could feel their eyes burning into my skin. Minutes then passed like seconds and the bell rang out. I stayed seated while everyone else filed out of the room. I couldn’t help but squirm when I heard his footsteps. I looked up to see him smiling as he sat on top of the desk in front of me.

“Look about earlier, I’m so sorry. I am beyond embarrassed and ashamed. I swear it wasn’t intentional sir. I’m not like that at all!” I spat out before he had a chance to even say anything.  He chuckled at my distressed state.

“Elise please, you don’t have to apologize. Accidents happen. I know you aren’t “like that” And I’m not mad at you, far from it actually.” He said with a sweet smile.

“Really? I was worried all day about the whole situation. These old skirts are not easy to work with sometimes. And I didn’t want to make a bad first impression. “ I replied quickly stammering on before realizing the last part of his reply. He said he wasn’t mad, far from it…was he hinting to something else? He had liked what he had seen?  No way I’m overthinking it. I was now silent. I looked up to see him grinning. My face flushed bright red. That is when I felt something between us. Almost like a magnetic force. With every fiber of my being I wanted to jump at him and just kiss those perfect lips. How I kept myself restrained I’ll never know. That’s when I could feel my underwear soaking by the second. Never before in my life had I felt this way towards someone. Of course I’ve have had crushes before but that was the extent of it. I never pictured myself pouncing one of them. If I were being honest, I wanted to do more than just kiss the man in front of me. I remained silent though, I was afraid to speak.

“I look forward to reading your summer projects. You can tell a lot about a person from the way they interpret classic works of literature. The way a book speaks to a person is a reflection of their mind and some say even their soul.” He spoke like a true poet.

“I couldn’t agree more sir.” I replied in almost a whisper. I was completely drawn to this man whom I just met. Could he possibly feel the same way? No….stop it Elise.

“See you tomorrow Ms. Goodman.” He said while gathering my books up for me. He held them while I stood up and threw my bag over my shoulder.

“Uhm thank you, see you tomorrow Professor Macfarlane.” I walked out of the room holding my breath. I skipped to my locker to put my books away. The hallways were almost empty. Aside from Nora who stood by our lockers with her arms folded.

“What took you so long El? I’ve been waiting on you forever!” She said in an annoyed tone.

“Sorry I had to stay after class. Mr. Macfarlane needed to ask me something about the summer project. I hope he goes easy on the grading.” I tried to act casual.

“Oh. Well I bet you liked that. One on one time with your crush.” She winked at me. I had to be inconspicuous about this. I didn’t want to start anything that could cause trouble.

“It was okay. I mean he’s cute but you’re right. Definitely too old. I do need to get out in the dating game, we just have slim pickings in our class though so it won’t be easy.” Nora slammed her locker and stared at me.

“Are you serious? Little miss book worm is wanting to try dating?” Oh no Nora was going to take this too far.

“Well not exactly. But if a guy asked me on a date I wouldn’t be so quick to say no. I mean it is about time I gave in.” She was literally jumping up and down. I could already tell she was going to make this a big deal.

“Say no more! If I find you a date you have to go on it okay?” She asked while tugging on my arm.

“I guess. I mean it depends on who it is. I have high standards you know!” She nodded and squealed. We left the building and made our way to the parking lot, Nora always had her brother pick her up after school, he went to college on the other side of town and I walked home. I only lived a few minutes from the school and I enjoyed the scenery.

“Want a ride El?” Nora’s brother Jake asked. I politely declined. I had to work this afternoon at the local book store. It was on down in town which was a 10 minute walk past my house. I didn’t want to make them go out of the way. The siblings pulled out of the lot and I began my journey towards the book store.

[artfighterblog]

1-ALLL I wanna know all about the Mun!!!

OwO lol ok ^w^ *gives diedrie a big hug

1. What is the middle name? *leaves it n/a* owo

2. How old are you? OwO 27 wishing i was younger

3. What is your birthday? september 7 

4. What is your zodiac sign? virgo owo

5. what is your favorite color? all the colors of purple >=3

6. What’s your lucky number? would it suprise you if i said 7? cause thats my lucky number x3

7. Do you have any pets? Yes but its my sister’s dog though that is a goldendoodle they are lovely dogs that loves playing with kids. but also good guard dogs.

8. Where are you from? USA kansas xP

9. How tall are you? i am 5′8 owo 

10. What shoe size are you? oh gawd shoe sizes are evil if its in womens i gotta get size 12 if its in mens i gotta grab 13, But i happen to lose weight over the 2 years from before so i had to go slightly smaller size shoes. So i am unsure the size right now.

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? I would say about 5 i think all for different occasion *has lost count cause she kept some old shoes for outside yard work.*

12. What was your last dream about? Hmmm the last thing i remember was that I was talking to black shadows and sparring supposingly it was supposed to be a nightmare but i manage to turn it around i guess *shrugs*

13. What talents do you have? hmmm well i am good at writing some stuff cause i can write a short one and leave a good cliff hanger. But love to draw alot x3. and messing with yarn still learning all of the basics when it comes to crochet.

14. Are you psychic in any way? Now i wouldn’t really call it physic but I often do see ghosts from time to time that would give you guys the chills x3. But the problem having that ability growing up was hard cause i kept it a secret only cause i was scared to be called crazy or insane. But i was taught alot of things thanks to some ghosts i have met but i also learn not all of them are safe to talk to as well. So be careful if you have this ability or if your child happens to have this. Cause some ghosts are not safe and tend to try to lure you away.

15. favorite song? omg this is hard can i just say imagine dragons is the favorite band please? love too many of their songs but if i was to choose it would be raidioactive 

16. Favorite movie? spirit away =D

17.  Who would be your ideal partner? owo that would be someone who i can chill to hang out with and that we just be ourselfs to be honest. I rather place no judgement if i can between the partner and me only cause i rather have us have fun and be able to relax.

18. Do you want children? x3 me and my hubby has talked about this since ours is a distant relationship we did decide if we ever got to move together to be in the same house its a definate yes. 

19. Do you want a church wedding? That i don’t know actually to be honest that would be somthing down later in the future road i rather think of the present than worry about later in the future.

20. Are you religious? now this kind of topic i rather stay away if i can but i am most comfortable talking to my hubby with. Only because i seen alot of wars between people who are religious and some who are not. I rather respect both sides if i can to be honest. even though to being religious i would say i am a little cause i am a wiccan gonna be honest here. But i still respect all religions if i possibly can and i even have respect for the preists as well.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes i have alot of good and bad memories i have out of going there the last thing i been there for though was worrying about my grandpa which i am still worrying about him even now. Which I am hoping he can live a bit longer. Cause he is a great man to be honest.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Not really like the last thing i got trouble for was accidently speeding and I had apologize to the officer which he did gave me a ticket but i didn’t have to pay for it just take the ticket in and was warned to be more careful next time. Which i am more careful and try my best to stay out of trouble.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? nope i haven’t =/ but i probly would freak out just a little but try to stay calm as well.

24. Baths or showers? Can i say both? please =3

25. What color of socks are you wearing? Was wearing black grayesh socks last night but took them off lol =3

26. Have you ever been famous? nope =3

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Hmmm i would say yes but i rather work for it.

28. What type of music do you like? to be honest i love all kinds of music but i love the most is country rock

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? um no I haven’t owo 

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? uhhh....*counts* about 5 big pillows and 2 small little ones owo

31. What position do you sleep in? which ever is the most comfortable but mostly sleep on my side.

32. How big is your house? owo....idk.....*shrugs*

33. what do you typically have for breakfast? which ever sounds good but love susage sandwiches the most. but somtimes i would make myself a really fluffy egg omelette =3

34. Have you ever fired a gun? Yes but only because my uncle was teaching me how to use one properly to get over my fear. Cause i rather be able to move if i get stuck a situation one day instead of being frozen in fear. I rather help those in need to get out of the dangerous situation if i can.

35. Have you ever tried archery? Yes when i was little i went to church camp and tried archery there it was actually alot of fun learning how to use the bow.

36. favorite clean word? meep

37. favorite swear word? uhhh.....welp i know some of you will laugh real hard cause i said this a few times and left my hubby laughing alot hearing this. quote “What the flying fuck?!” x3

38.Whats the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? only one day i went without sleep. 

39. Do you have any scars? uhhh.....*hides her scars.* sorry leaving that n/a? owo

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? hmmm nope owo

41. Are you a good liar? hmm i don’t really like lieing to be honest i only do this only if there is a good reason cause alot of drama does happen quiet often in the family and i only do this to avoid it. so i am somewhat a good one but i rather not do it it if i can.

42. Are you a good judge of character? umm idk?

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? um no not really although i have a few people in irl who keeps saying i have some sort of accent and idk where it comes from.

44. Do you have a strong accent? um idk again owo

45. What is your favorite accent? owo uhh.....*shrugs*

46. what is your personality type? i would say just a fun loving type of personality with a slight dark humor once a while even though we don’t  mean to have the dark humor to happen.

47. what is your most expensive piece of clothing? uhh....i would say a dress?

48. Can you curl your tougue? heck yea x3

49. Are you an innie or an outie? I am both =3 but mostly an innie

50. Left or right handed? i am right handed

51. Are you scared of spiders? uh... I am but spiders and me go to war actually cause i had got bit all the time by them spiders.

52. favorite food? Anything Pasta related! =D

53. Favorite foreign food? Chinese food

54. are you a clean or a messy person? a little of both owo

55. most used phrased? idk owo

56. Most used word? merp =P

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? about 1 hour. to 30 min.s if i rush like mad almost about 10 min. flat. 

58. Do you have much of an ego? ego? what ego? *has no ego*

59.Do you suck or bite lollipops? I only suck unless there’s somthing in the middle then i bite it.

60. Do you talk to yourself? I often do only when i am thinking or trying to decide on things to make a right choice. and yes this actually helps me think of a better choice.

61. Do you sing to yourself? owo yes i do when i am by myself.

62. Are you a good singer? ehh?  idk?

63. biggest fear? I think i have a slight fear of abandonment i think but i think the worst one is snakes even though i found them cute on the net. the old biggest fear used to be guns.

64. Are you a gossip? I rather not gossip if i can actually.

65. best dramatic movie you’ve seen? can i say the best scary movie please? if i can i would say resident evil.

66. Do you like long or short hair? I like both actually owo but long hairs are harder to maintain.

67. Can you name all 50 states of america? I think if i can i would name all of them but its been a while so i might forget a couple actually.

68. Favorite school subject? owo Art class!

69. Extrovert or introvert? mostly introvert but i still like going outside once a while.

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? nope but would love to one day

71. what makes you nervous? Um not knowing whats gonna happen next if things do get complicated

72. Are you scared of the dark? Yes V w V but mostly if i am outside at night is where its worse but i am fine inside the building.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? only if i can somtimes i am not able to all the time.

74. Are you ticklish? yes sadly lol.

75. Have you ever started a rumor? no and actually i don’t like dealing with rumors.

76. have you ever been in a position of authority? nope but it would be interesting to try i guess.

77. Have you ever drank underage? nope actually i never gone drinking dispite my age.

78. Have you ever done drugs? noppity nope never done them and never will.

79. Who was your first real crush? sorry keepin that a secret owo

80. How many piecrings do you have? one for each ear owo so only 2

81. can you roll your rs? uhh....idk? *has no clue what rs is*

82. How fast can you type? last i checked it was about 60 on the speed scale on that mavis bacon typing program.

83. How fast can you run? uhh idk....

84. What color is your hair? dark brown

85. What color is your eyes? hazel so a bit of blue and green

86. What are you allergic to? eh feathers (sorry bird friends i can’t touch birds owo) house dust might and mold. which i find this silly.

87. Do you keep a journal? nope

88. What do your parents do? eh....sorry leaving that n/a guys

89. Do you like your age? to be honest i wish i am younger but its ok really cause i at least can help my family by having a job and help pay the bills. which allows me to spoil my mom once a while. Why cause she deserves it ^^.

90. What makes you angry? oh well i really don’t get angry really easy mostly if it comes to family members starting drama and start shit up that they shouldn’t be doing and lie and steal yea i can get angry really easy then. And i had people get scared of me before cause i was like angry but looked calm at the same time. I try my best not to get angry cause i rather think clearly if i can to find out whats actually going on to help fix the situation.

91. Do you like your own name?.....*leaves it n/a*

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? um owo.....sadly nope.. i am not good with names to be honest. I try my best to come up with good ones if i do get stuck picking one though.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? Eh?...idk i just rather leave it up to fate of what comes first in the future.

94. What are your strengths? I think my biggest strength i have is helping on calming a person down really and somtimes letting them lean on me to cry if they needed it.

95. What are your weaknesses? owo hmm not sure i think seeing cute things is my weakness lol.

96. how did you get your name? eh? i came up with this name a long time ago when i was younger i loved to draw and do alot of art related stuff but I also love playing fighting games as well. and actually had 1 year of karate as well.

97. were y our ancestors royalty? umm idk? it would be cool to find out owo.

98. Do you have any scars? owo uhh.. *hides her scars once again* why did this question come up the second time?

99. Color of your bedspread? white with a few other colors on it mostly green. been thinking about getting a new different one.

100. Color of your room? white if i had the choice i would paint it purple not only cause purple is my favorite color but also its a calm color to have in the bedroom.

[outsidercade]

You gonna hate me but,,, 1-102? *devil grin* love you ❤

Oh my god OKAY HERE WE GO, 1-102 IN RESPONSE TO THIS 
(Putting it under a cut because this is gonna be LONG oh boy)

1. Favorite season?Definitely fall! It’s got my birthday and perfect temperatures!

2. Prettiest thing you own?Probably my cats lmao

3. Do you prefer to be outside or inside?Honestly it really depends on my mood and the weather and such, but probably inside on average? I’m not sure

4. Furthest ever traveled?I live in Michigan and I’ve been so Japan so I’d say that’s p far

5. What’s your aesthetic in 3 words?It really varies

6. Favorite gemstone?Ooooh uhh… probably bloodstone? It’s hella pretty look it up !

7. Best thing about yourself, in your opinionMy drawing skills

8. Best thing about yourself, in other’s opinionNothing lmao uhh hHHHHH I’ve been told that I’m very empathetic, understanding, and easy/fun to talk to?? 

9. What’s your weirdest fear?Idk if this counts as a fear, but I’m p paranoid about doors and people entering rooms I guess? Like I can’t sleep unless I face the door and I feel really uncomfortable sitting in places where I can’t see every entrance to the room at a time

10. Weirdest dream you’ve ever had?OH MAN well okay uh when I started reading the Harry Potter series in like 7th grade I had this dream where I was like Harry but with wings instead of arms and bird legs? And the dream had the perspective of an RPG or something with a health bar and everything and I had to fight Voldemort in my backyard under my trampoline. Also at some point I ran into my teacher at the time in a hospital in said dream so that was p damn weird

11. Go-to hiding placeAnywhere small, but not too small, where i can be completely hidden without somebody opening a door or latch or something12. Favorite place in your houseLmao my room13. Earliest memoryMy earliest memory is from being on a cruise when I was four and getting really mad at my parents because they saw some dolphins outside and I wasn’t there to see them xD14. Do you believe in ghosts?I’m honestly not sure15. Favorite sea creature?I have no idea so I’m just gonna say sea cucumber or cuttlefish because both are sea creatures that I adore !!16. Cold showers or hot baths?HOT BATHS ALL THE WAY17. Satin or lace?I adore lace so like,,,, definitely that18. Gold or silver?I personally like the way silver looks MUCH better but at the same time there’s The Outsiders and it’s whole kink with the color gold so likeeee,,,,,, idk man19. Hoops or pearl earrings?Pearl20. Aesthetic songShelter by Porter Robinson and Madeon

21. Top 5 songsUHHHH DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE BRUHBut uhh at the moment I guess it would be, in no particular order,1- Another Day from Rent2- Michael in the Bathroom from Be More Chill3- Grease (Is The Word) from Grease Live!4- Beautiful from Heathers5- Nandemonaiya from Your Name

22. Favorite time of the day?Early morning and/or late night

23. Favorite part of your body?Again nothing lmao but I guessss my eyes????

24. Do you drink alcohol?I’m fourteen years old and also allergic to beer so I mean

25. Dream job from when you were a kidI don’t want to do this anymore, but when I was a Smol I really wanted to start a pet-sitting business in my town xD

26. Messy or clean?It depends tbh. Likkkkke my room is messy af but I’m super overprotective of some things and will like stab somebody if they get a book of mine dirty

27. Tea or coffee?I don’t really like either but I guess tea?

28. Favorite bookTHE OUTSIDERS THE OUTSIDERS THE OUTSIDERS TH 

29. Zodiac sign?Libra all the way B)

30. Extrovert or introvert?I think I’m more of an extrovert, but it’s hard to tell

31. Celebrity crush?I mean there are a LOT of celebrities I could look at and be like “oh yeah that person’s hella cute!!” but I don’t think I’ve ever had a real celebrity crush

32.  Early bird or night owl?Both lmao

33. Do you believe in love at first sight?I want to but ehHHHHH not really

34. Favorite book quote Honestly I,,,,, don’t have one. I’m super bad at remembering quotes and things like that so I don’t have a favorite book quote ;;

35. Three wishes you haveI’m gonna sound like a greedy bitch but1- To have better grades/be better at life in general2- To be more wealthy3- To get my dream job

36. Do you believe in magic?I have No Idea

37. Do you believe in soulmates?Not really, but I do believe that there are certain people who will definitely be more compatible by nature

38. Zoo or aquarium?I LOVE ZOOS

39. Cats or dogs?I love both but I’ve never owned a dog and I grew up with cats sOOO I’d probably have to say those

40. How many languages do you speak?English is my first language so there’s that but I also know a tiny bit of Japanese?? Not really enough to count it as knowing another language tho

41. How has your life changed from last year?I’ve developed a p bad social anxiety disorder this year so there’s that?

42. Why do you have your name/url?I’ve got my name just because my parents like it, and I have my url because if you couldn’t tell I’m obsessed with The Outsiders, and ESPECIALLY Johnny Cade xD

43.  Do you keep secrets? How well?I definitely try my best to, but I tend to accidentally let things slip without meaning to on occasion,,,

44. Favorite animal?I HAVE A LOT SO, AGAIN IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER,1- Caribou2- Kangaroos3- River otters4- Birds in general lmao

45. What is love to you?UhhHHHHHHHHH I have no idea how to interpret this question but,,,I don’t know, I guess love, platonic or romantic, is when there’s somebody who you trust and feel really comfortable with, and who you enjoy spending time together with and uhh. I guess that? I don’t know, I apologize 

46. Future children name?I don’t really want kids and if I did I’d adopt, so idk

47. Favorite colorPurple! ^^

48. Favorite movieTHE OUTSIDERS THE OUTSIDERS THE OUTSIDERS TH

49. Cuddles or kisses?I’m a slut for cuddles tbh so definitely that

50. If you could have any person in the world over for dinner, who would it be?I have. No Idea

51. Someone to bring back from the deadMy cat Persion who died last fall ;;

52. Lipstick or lipgloss?I don’t really like either very much tbh

53. Are you street smart or book smart?I’m just not smart lmao

54. Your biggest strengthI’m super nice and friendly, so I guess there’s that

55. Favorite sportVolleyball!!

56. Favorite drink?Just plain ice water lmao

57. Favorite winter activity?I LOVE sledding like oh man I get super sad if I miss the chance to go

58. Last time you went abroadWhen I went to Japan in November!

59. Favorite dessert?OKAY I FUCKING LOVE THOSE DOUGHNUTS WITH THE CUSTARD INSIDE AND THE CHOCOLATE ON TOP THOSE ARE THE FUCKING BEST

60. Favorite artistI don’t necessarily have one but I guess I really love @ikimaru because her art style was a HUGE influence on me while I was developing mine and also her art is just Super Gorgest

61. Favorite singer/bandI don’t really have one, I’m kinda just obsessed with Broadway music in general

62. Favorite dancing songI don’t think I have one?

63. Favorite crying songFinale A, Your Eyes, and Finale B from Rent (I can’t find any good videos of the original Broadway cast recording of this and I don’t like the movie version so oops ;;)

64. Do you wear glasses?Yep, have since first grade!

65. First thing you do when you wake upCheck my phone lmao

66. How long do you usually sleep for?It varies a lot but probably about six-seven hours on average

67. One thing you lost and you want backI can’t think of anything off the top of my head I’m Afraid

68. Biggest fearBeing unsuccessful in life and/or being hated/alone/forgotten 

69. Favorite carnival rideI’ve only been to one carnival ever but there was this thing that flipped you around a lot in a lil cage-like thing and I LOVED that !

70. Do you have birthmarks or scars?I get injured a lot and have a bad habit of picking at scabs, so I have a lot of little scars everywhere

71. Favorite childhood memory?Probably when I first got my kitten Kivu in fourth grade, he’s a Good Boy

72. What do you think about during a storm?“wow that sure is one cool storm”

73. One word to describe your life?What

74. Craziest thing ever doneOnce when I was little I tried to wake up my Dad by throwing a hamster at him xD

75. Do you have piercings or tattoos?I don’t have either currently, but I might be getting my ears pierced later today!

76. Favorite flowerI don’t think I have one 

77. Do you have any pets?Yep! I’ve got my rabbit Tamaki, and my cats Ginger and Kivuli ^^

78. Describe your style??????

79. Choose one thing to change about yourselfThe way I look prolly

80. Do you play any musical instruments?I used to play cello, but I don’t anymore 

81. If your life was a movie would it be a comedy, a rom-com, action film or drama?Probably a comedy or a drama? ?? ?

82. Do you prefer dark, dramatic makeup or natural makeup?I like both a lot, it really depends on my mood or the person !

83. Favorite perfumeEw No Thanks

84. Biggest fandomCurrently probably The Outsiders? I’m not sure tbh

85. Favorite Youtuber(s)No particular order again lmao1- Game Grumps2- Markiplier3- Nostalgia Critic4- PeanutButterGamer5- SpaceHamster

86. OTPOH BOY UHH UHHonestly I love so many ships in so many different ways that I don’t think I could choose !!

87. Country, state where you were bornMichigan in the US ^^

88. Your parents’ namesCarol and David

89. Favorite snackI love waaayyy too many snack foods to choose!

90. Pasta or pizzaPASTA ALL THE FUCKING WAY

91. Pen or pencilI definitely like pencils a Lot more

92. Blue or black inkBlack !

93. Paper books or electronic books?I am a slut for paper books tbh lmao

94. History or geography?History is WAY more interesting to me 

95. Pastel or neonP A S T E L !!!!!

97. Soap or body wash Uhhhhhhh…. Shrug?

98. Conditioner, no conditioner, or 2 in 1 shampoo & conditionerI honestly haven’t used any conditioner in years,,, ;;

99. Singing in the shower or notSometimes !

100. Listen to music while bathing or silenceBoth, it depends on what I’m in the mood for xD

101. Blow dry, towel dry, or air dry your hairA combo of towel and air unless I’m in a rush or something

102. Morning or night showers?DEFINITELY night 

THERE YOU GO, ANON, 1-102 

FUCKIN ENJOY 

[oldeststoryintheuniverse]

1-100 XD

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify!2. is your room messy or clean?It depends on my current attitude tbh3. what color are your eyes?they sort of change.4. do you like your name? why?i’m kind of indifferent at this point. i’ve never really felt like it fit me well.5. what is your relationship status?single af6. describe your personality in 3 words or lesscaring, determined, passionate7. what color hair do you have?auburn8. what kind of car do you drive? color?Yellow VW Beetle9. where do you shop?all over the place. i do a lot of shopping.10. how would you describe your style?as cute as possible always.11. favorite social media accountinstagram.12. what size bed do you have?a queen13. any siblings?technically i have one half sister.14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?right where i am. or disneyland. i have a passion for the company and i feel like i have to be contributing to its future.15. favorite snapchat filter?the bat one! when it’s available which is not as often as it should be16. favorite makeup brand(s)i only use kat von d for my foundation and beyond that…i could be flexible.17. how many times a week do you shower?at least 7 because anything less is NASTY. showering daily is extremely important for personal hygene.18. favorite tv show?doctor who but not the newest stuff.19. shoe size?6.520. how tall are you?5′4″21. sandals or sneakers?boots.22. do you go to the gym?i wish i did…i should…23. describe your dream dateHave you heard the song, “Meet Me Down on Mainstreet?” that. plus a parade and then cuddling eventually.24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?like $15 i think25. what color socks are you wearing?i’m not currently wearing socks26. how many pillows do you sleep with?1-227. do you have a job? what do you do?i’m a character attendant at WDW28. how many friends do you have?why on earth would i know a number?29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?That is a very good question…honestly i think it’s being low key salty behind someone’s back when it didn’t even hurt them at all…but my bad attitude contributed to general negativity. at least, that’s what i can think of at the moment.30. whats your favorite candle scent?that christmassy apple/cinnamon scent.31. 3 favorite boy namesI sat here for ages and i have no idea32. 3 favorite girl namesAngelique, Evangeline, and….i dunno.33. favorite actor?i appreciate many people’s talents but i don’t know if i have a favorite.34. favorite actress?^^^^35. who is your celebrity crush?again…don’t really have one.Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? 36. Favorite movie?lots. alice in wonderland. other disney stuff. lord of the rings. zootopia. stuff37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?i don’t read as much as i used to. i wish i did. LOVE harry potter. and lots of other books. alice in wonderland. peter pan. stuff.38. money or brains?brains probably.39. do you have a nickname? what is it?a few. Alice, G, old ones that have kind of died out…40. how many times have you been to the hospital?a couple when i was younger. i can’t remember how many.41. top 10 favorite songsIt changes with my mood and how i’m feeling. I love love LOVE Dan Franklin’s music…I love Try Everything, and currently my favorite thing on the radio is 24 Karat Magic. i like almost all music. just not heavy screamo metal.42. do you take any medications daily?just for my allergies lol43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)i think kind of combination44. what is your biggest fear?not achieving my dream job because i have no idea what else i’d do with my life.45. how many kids do you want?no idea. that’s something to discuss with my future husband.46. whats your go to hair style?i usually either straighten it or curl it. if i’m feeling lazy, i don’t have time, or it’s really hot out, i do braided pigtails.47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)townhouse.48. who is your role model?myself, after a complicated relationship with a friend of mine and reflecting on the attitude of those around me. also judy hopps. i’m generally proud enough of my own ideals not to have to look to others. not that i never learn anything from other people, but i don’t think i have one role model. this answer sounded really self centered i apologize.49. what was the last compliment you received?when i was out at dinner a few people said i looked really pretty. and i appreciate them.50. what was the last text you sent?my friend said she was on her way over and i replied, “okie dokie.”51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?this question is bonkers, i literally worked with santa a couple weeks ago and he’s as real as I am.52. what is your dream car?i’d love something old and vintage but that’ll never run well…most newer cars i really don’t like. when mine dies i’m gonna get the final edition new beetle, hopefully.53. opinion on smoking?don’t do it. it’s destructive to you and those around you. 54. do you go to college?yep. almost done. thank goodness. 55. what is your dream job?i want to be best friends with disney characters and help them make magic for our guests. :)56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?probably the suburbs57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?YES I STEAL THEM ALL58. do you have freckles?yep. not my favorite thing but they are inescapable. 59. do you smile for pictures?of course!60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?a couple hundred, i think61. have you ever peed in the woods?honestly i can’t remember if i might’ve done it like once as a child, but if i did i literally can’t remember. 62. do you still watch cartoons?the word “cartoon” is ambiguous. for me it has kind of a negative connotation. but i do watch animated movies and tv and stuff, yes63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?wendy’s if i have to choose, although almost all fast food makes me feel sick.64. Favorite dipping sauce?ketchup or ranch. or that sweet and sour stuff from mcdonald’s but i never eat there anymore.65. what do you wear to bed?pjs.66. have you ever won a spelling bee?i’ve never even been in a spelling bee, but i’d probably lose.67. what are your hobbies?photography (i’m hoping to get to do that again soon…my muscles don’t like me), painting, stuff68. can you draw?i’m mediocre at best.69. do you play an instrument?i mostly remember how to play flute and piccolo from high school and i can do a little piano but not much.70. what was the last concert you saw?i honestly can’t remember. it’s been a really long time since i’ve been to a legitimate concert. i sat here for a while but could not remember.71. tea or coffee?tea!72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?that depends entirely on the item i’m purchasing73. do you want to get married?some day74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?n. e. for non-existent amirite75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES76. what color looks best on you?blue, in my opinion77. do you miss anyone right now?always78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?usually closed.79. do you believe in ghosts?i don’t have enough evidence to make a decision80. what is your biggest pet peeve?i think working at disney has caused me to develop TOO MANY.81. last person you calledmy mother82. favorite ice cream flavor?chocolate!83. regular oreos or golden oreos?regular. but without the frosting.84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?neither i do not like sprinkles85. what shirt are you wearing?a sweatshirt i wear around the house from 2014 wdw86. what is your phone background?for the first time ever i changed my lock screen to a picture of just me, and my home screen is me and Lotso87. are you outgoing or shy?much more on the outgoing side88. do you like it when people play with your hair?yes please89. do you like your neighbors?i don’t really know my neighbors but i know i’m not fond of the ones directly across from me due to their recent choices in lawn decor.90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?yes both91. have you ever been high?nope92. have you ever been drunk?nope93. last thing you ate?hello panda94. favorite lyrics right now”So now I’m all run out of my regrets this time. I’ve got nothing left, I’ve got no more tears to cry. Baby turn around, and don’t come back this time. I need to start again, I’m only starting at the finish line.”95. summer or winter?winter96. day or night?night usually97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?milk!98. favorite month?october?99. what is your zodiac signlibra100. who was the last person you cried in front of?i got a little teary last night at work in front of eeyore. last time i cried before that was by myself…i don’t know the true answer to this question