#It's just funny how Fiddleford pops in and Bill is just like 'What the fuck I'm EATING HERE'

[astro-b-o-y-d]

‘When Fiddleford went through the Portal during the test run, he saw Bill removing his exoskeleton to feed’

Cool and fucked up, but why didn’t Bill just come out of the portal then?

[ppandfm]

Parties, Formal Meetings & Pinetrees  Chapter: 5

Description: When you think you've truly escaped the past it comes up and bites you in the ass.

   Dipper was slow to wake up. He felt the harsh thumping in his head and a body pressed up against his back. He made sure he had pants on before looking at the person. His suspicions were confirmed when he saw a mop of blond hair. He scoffed, immediately regretting it when the dull pain in his head suddenly felt like his head was being ripped apart. The teen carefully attempted to remove Bill’s arm from his waist, only to have it hug him tighter. Dipper would have been contented to stay there, but the pain in his head told him he had to go get water. Bill would probably want some too when he woke up, so that meant Dipper had to be freed.

  He turned to Bill again and flicked his nose, “Wake up, Misery! I need water and an aspirin!” The blonde wrinkled his nose in result when the brunette flicked his nose. Only to tighten his grip a little more and pull the other to his chest.

  “Oh my god, I can’t believe you,” the poor tree whispered. He grabbed Bill’s arm and attempted to move it again. Bill’s arm didn’t loosen at all. Dipper finally sighed and settled back down. He’d have to wait this out.

  A minute later, Bill’s head moved to his ear, “Good morning, Juliet.”

  “Oh, so now you wake up.”

  “Yes. Is that a problem, Pinetree?” Bill nuzzled against his neck. Dipper pulled away, scoffing again, “Yes, I need some water and an aspirin.” The blonde shrugged.

  “Psh, that’s what you get from alcohol, princess.” He purred. Dipper rolled his eyes and got out of bed. He straightened his shirt and went into his bathroom, “Can I get you anything, Romeo?” Bill chuckled as he sat up, straightening his shirt in a half-assed manner.

  “Maybe some water and an Aspirin.” Bill looked over to the side with a faint smirk, “Maybe your sweet ass too.”

  “Sorry, but you’re not my type,” Dipper said as he came back in with a bottle of Advil and a plastic cup of water.

  “What’s your type?”

  “Female.” Bill quirked an eyebrow. “Really? You don’t seem like a straight guy to me, kid.”

  “Why do people keep expecting me to be gay? I’m straight. Besides, my parents aren’t exactly okay with that. I could never come out, so I’d probably marry some woman and have a man on the side. “  

  “So you’re Bisexual?”

  “No. I am totally, one hundred percent straight.” Dipper popped a pill into his mouth and took a sip of water before handing the drink to Bill. He ignored the look he got.

  “So, what’s the plan now buttercup?” Bill asked as he took a drink of his water after taking his pill.

  “I don’t know. I meant to spend time with my great-uncle today, but he probably want to rest,” Dipper said as the door opened. Ford stepped in, freezing when he saw Bill.

  The blonde turned to look over at the door and started to squint. “Sixer.” Bill muttered.

  “Bill Cipher, what the hell are you doing in my nephew’s room?” the confused grunkle said.

  “Just existing here. Practically slept here. Isn’t that right, Pinetree? Oh yes it’s very much true. I practically live here.” Bill practically reeked sarcasm.

  “Dipper, please tell me he’s lying.”

  “He is. We just met like two days ago. This isn’t what it looks like at all,” Dipper said as he stood up. Bill whistled, “Oh my, Pinetree. You’ve got quite an ass on you.~”

  “Please do not harass my nephew, Cipher.”

  No one said anything for a couple of minutes, as Dipper was thoroughly embarrassed and the other two were glaring at each other. Dipper eventually shook his head and walked to where Ford stood, “Great-Uncle Ford, it’s been a long night and I’m famished, so please allow me to go to the kitchen and get breakfast.”

  Ford didn’t move out of the way, “Why do you smell like alcohol? Cipher, did you force him to drink?”

  “Dammit Ford, no one forced me to do anything! I drank last night because I wanted to and Bill is here because I want him to be here. Now, please allow me to go get something to eat.”

  The elderly man moved out of the way in surprise and his nephew squeezed past him. Bill cracked a grin and shouted after Dipper, “Good one, Pinetree!”

  Ford shot a glare in his direction, “What the hell are you doing, Cipher? It wasn’t enough to hurt one Pines, you had to get another one.”

  “Yeesh Sixer, it’s been a while. I didn’t know he was a Pines until last night. Even so,I have no intentions to hurt him.” Bill inquired with a smile.

  “That was five years ago. It’s not exactly that far in the past, Cipher. You did do a number on my sanity, as well. God, I can’t believe this is happening,” Ford said as he sat down in Dipper’s chair.

  “Oh? The almighty Stanford Filbrick Pines lost some sanity? Funny you’re supposed to be the smartest man in the US. As I said, I have no intentions to do a repeat. This time, I actually want to avoid all that bullshit.” Bill waved a hand on the last part, “So don’t worry about your little sapling. He won’t end up like Fez. But I never said it was my fault or not.” He snorted. “How’s Fez doing anyways~? He recovering pretty nicely or has he gotten worse?” The blonde leaned forward.

  “You know Stan. He’s a stone wall. He was up and flirting with the hospital nurses within a few days of him coming out of his coma.”

  “Hah, good ol’ Fez. Good to hear.” Bill smiled faintly. “Got in a coma though? Have him write me a book on that. That’s gotta be an experience.”

  “After what you did? Stan’s sworn to kick your ass if he ever sees you again. Lucky for you, I try to be more pacifistic around my family.”

  “Psh, figures. Good ol’ Fez just as much of a fighter as I remember him to be.” Bill huffed quietly. “What about Fiddleford? Grown mad as a hatter as you have?”

  “Bill, you broke his heart. He truly thought you were a good kid. And then something happened between me and him,” Ford cleared his throat, “Point is, we don’t really talk anymore. He tried to go back to his son, but that didn’t exactly work out for him. He ended up moving to the East and I haven’t seen him since.

  Bill went quiet for a moment crossing his arms as he let out a sigh, “Shame. Wouldn’t think things would turn out so bad for him.” He shrugged after. “Too bad I’m not good on meeting people’s goddamn expectations.” Bill grumbled to himself quietly.

  Ford sighed and looked at his former friend, “Where did you go, Bill? We were all worried about you.”

  “Traveled here and there. Met up with some people who are now my friends. One of my best friends convinced me to come here. Piedmont’s been my home ever since.” Bill shrugged. “Why do you wanna know?”

  “Because we were good friends once upon a time. Because Stan and Fids deserve to know what the hell happened to you.” Ford shrugged, “Or maybe it’s just because I’m a nosy old fucker. I’m not exactly sure.”

  Bill snorted for a moment. “Funny how before you didn’t seem to want me hanging around here. Now this. Now you speak for them? Surprised you’re not cussing at me for fucking up you, Fez, and Glasses.” Bill jabbed at his own chest. “Half your relationships went down hill because of me, right? I’m honestly surprised that you haven’t slapped me yet. I mean, that kid’s not here, so what’s stopping you?”

  “Bill, you’re almost as smart as me. How could you have not realised Dipper’s been listening in for the past ten minutes?”

  “Oh shit, really? Hah- The kid’s gotten to become a Nancy Drew like you were back then.” Bill teased as looked over at the room door. Said teen came in, looking confused and carrying a banana. He handed the food to his uncle and sat by Bill before opening his mouth, “What the hell happened?”

  Ford looked at Dipper, “Remember when Stan was hurt so badly you and Mabel had to spend a summer with us to help take care of him?”

  Dipper turned to Bill, “That was your fault?”

  “Psh. Why don’t you ask Sixer.” The blonde shrugged.

  “You were the one messing around with those horrible men. We followed you to find out what the hell was going on and Stan got hurt trying to protect you.”

  Bill scoffed, “I told you to just leave me alone. It’s your own damn fault.”

  Ford reached over to place his hand on Bill’s shoulder. It was immediately knocked off. The blonde glared at his former friend, “Don’t touch me. We’re not friends anymore, remember?”

  Ford leaned back in his chair, “No, I guess we aren’t. That doesn’t give you the right to be a bitch about all this.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “The kids deserve to know, Bill. They’re as much my family as you were.”

  “Family? We were never family. I was just the brat kid who lived with you ‘cause I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

  Ford shook his head angrily, “It wasn’t like that. I loved having you around and so did the other two. If you’re okay with it, I’d like to share stories about then with Dipper.”

  Bill huffed waving his hand, “Why don’t you also tell him how I should have gotten shot up, since you like telling him shit from the past?”

  “Dammit Bill, all you had to do was tell us and you would still be there. We would have helped you out. But, if you want me to tell you that I hate you, that you should have died that night, that I would kill you right now if Dipper weren’t here, then I will.” Ford stood up and walked to the door. He stopped before he left, “I don’t hate you, Cipher, and I don’t totally blame you for what happened. But I want you to stay away from my family.”

  “You should though. I don’t give a shit anymore.” Bill rolled his eyes. “You can’t tell me jack shit what to do anyways. You’re not my father. Jesus christ.”

  Ford didn’t say anything as he walked away. Dipper was looking solemnly at his hands. Tears were rolling down his face. He didn’t look at Bill, but he spoke to him, “You need to leave.”

  Bill gave the brunette a long hard look before sighing to himself. “Fine. Okay yeah. I’ll go.” The blonde simply stated as he got up and walked over to the window. Opening it in silence and beginning to climb out. “Just so you know, I blame myself too.” With that, he made his way out of the brunette’s room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Timeskip~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Later that night, Dipper was laying in his bed and staring at the ceiling. He had been here for the past few hours. Even after the blonde left he couldn’t help but think to himself. Could he trust him? If he was the one who caused Grunkle Stan to get shot, why can’t he bring himself to hate the other? Most importantly, why does he miss him already?

  Dipper sat up and wiped his eyes with a groan. Looking to the window, he realized he still hadn’t closed it since after Bill had left. He could practically feel the cool night air pooling into his room. It made him remember that first night how the blonde stumbled into his room, half tipsy and trying to get away from the police. Dipper snorted. But then he started thinking about the blonde’s words from earlier. Still hearing the grim tone Bill took when he spoke.

  “Just so you know, I blame myself too.” He couldn’t help but feel bad for the Misery.

  Don’t forget, Great-Uncle Ford doesn’t want him around you.

  Dipper got up and closed his window. Taking a quick glance over to his phone.

  It wouldn’t hurt to text him...right? But can I even trust him?

  Dipper stared at his phone a little more before groaning to himself and grabbing it. Quickly turning it on and scrolling through his messages until he found the name ‘Bill’ on the list and pressed it; typing up a quick message.

  Dipper: Bill? It’s me Dipper-

            I just- wanted to check up on you-

           Fuck okay- I’m sorry for telling you to leave.

          I don’t think you’re a bad guy.

  Dipper turned and plopped back down on his bed and waited for any replies from the blonde. But even after he messaged the other. He didn’t receive any messages back. Dipper gave the other a few more minutes before grabbing his phone again.

  Dipper: Bill come on, I know you’re there at least-

            Are you okay?

  Dipper took a deep breath and set his phone down on the little desk next to his bed and waited for another moment. That entire time, he hoped to hear the familiar ding when Bill would text him back. But there was no ding to his dismay.

  Dipper grumbled after a few more minutes before sitting up grabbing his phone and sitting up.

  Dipper: You know what? Fuck it.

             I’m coming to your place tonight.

  With that, Dipper put his phone away in his pocket grabbing his shoes, turning off the light and shutting his room door. As Dipper opened his room window, he started to wonder how he was going to get to the Misery’s house. He didn’t even know where the blonde lived. Though, he did know that the Misery had to live in their own area with the others. It was a requirement after all. Either that or live in the streets as he heard.

  Guess I’ll start there and work my way around. Dipper thought before he almost slipped off the roof. “OH SH-” he stopped himself gathered his stance and climbed his way down safely.

  “Note to self. Never lose train of thought while climbing out the window in a two floor house. How the hell does he even do that?” Dipper huffed moving a hand through his hair before looking up at his room window still open all in its glory. Wait. Was he really doing this? Running away from home for a night to check on a Misery? Risky? Yes. Wrong for him? Probably if it were his dad talking to him. The brunette shrugged to himself. He turned to face the street.

  “Well Dipper here you go. first time just leaving home for a night. Going to break a rule by your dad. Yeah it’ll be risky. May chew your ass out by the time you get home or your Great-Uncle will. Hah. Fuck it.” Dipper took in a deep breath and snuck across the front yard of his house; jumped the fence lining the front of his front yard. And started walking.

  But boy did he already have a smile on his face.

  When he started seeing run down buildings and men not much older than himself giving him side-eyes, he knew he’d reached the Misery part of town. It wasn’t really appealing but it held up to what the Misery part of town was. Or how Richies described it. Usually they’d describe it as revolting or unsanitary or poor conditions. Some called them pigs or undesirables. There was a lot of ways Richies would describe the Misery part of town. Dipper only had a thought in mind about the area around him.  It was a sad sight and honestly frightening to him. Most of it was rundown apartment buildings, and homes. Some of the said people stood around barrels that seemed to have some fire living inside burning newspaper and what not. Talking among each other or giving the brunette glares and side-eyes.

   If you looked at one of the men standing with his group-and the brunette-at this time, you would definitely tell who was higher class. For one for example had cleaner and neater clothes while the others wore what they had. Dipper tried not to make eye contact with the few giving him side-eyes and glares. Knowing that if he did they might not respond too happily. Dipper recalled some news floating around to walk with at least a group of friends before walking down a street on the Misery side of town. Although both sides always are at each other’s throats always. Either way, if a Misery crossed through the Richie part of town Richies would ambush them. If a Richie crossed through a street on the Misery part of town, they’d be ambushed brutally.

   Dippers hands started getting sweaty as he kept his gaze low from the others. Feeling eyes all around him looking in his direction. As if he were standing on the stage in Drama class in front of everybody and reciting his part of the script to “West Side Story” or, “Romeo and Juliet.” Whatever they would do for theater class.  

   It’s okay Dipper, you can do this. You can find his house at least find it before you end up stuck in the streets or worse.

  They won’t do anything. Remember to punch and run if someone tries to beat you up until you’re on the brink of going stiff.

  Don’t make eye contact. Don’t talk. Stay focused you’ll be fine.

  God how wished he was invisible now.  Dipper wished he wouldn’t get stared at so much because of his high social class. He wished that everyone would just mind their business and not worry about a kid walking down the street to only check on a friend of his. Friend? Friend yes. Bill was his friend. He was doing this for Bill.

  ` I’m going to check on Bill. I’m going to see him. I’m gonna make sure his stupid ass is still alive. Fuck, this guy is- Dipper’s thoughts were interrupted when a hand fell on his shoulder, causing him to jump. The hand turned him to face a strange female.

  “Hiya, you look lost, friend. Do you want directions?” she said. Dipper nodded, tripping over his words, “Yeah, actually. Uh, do you know where, um, where Bill Cipher lives?”

  The woman pulled back and covered her mouth. She stared at him, wide-eyed, for a few moments before her hands fell away to reveal a huge grin, “So you’re the Richie that triangle won’t shut up about. I guess he was right when he said you had a nice face.”

  Dipper blinked as the pink haired woman finished her sentence quickly feeling some heat pool on his cheeks.

  “Y-Yeah.” The pink haired lady threw an arm around the brunette laughing. “Awh~! Just as shy as I heard! Don’t worry Richie’ I won’t hurt ya!” She chirped, glancing quickly behind them for a quick moment before looking back at him with a smile before moving away and holding her hand out.

  “Well, I may have heard about you from Cipher but I don’t really think we’ve met.  My name’s Pyronica. Close friend of Bill’s” She snorted. “It’s nice to meetcha’ Richie. And you are?”

  Dipper slowly shook the female’s hand. “D-Dipper- My name is Dipper.” He cursed at himself for stumbling on his words again. “It’s- nice to meet you to Pyronica-”  

  Pyronica slung her arm around the brunette once more with a snort. “I can tell we’re gonna get along fine.”

  “So~! You’re looking for triangles house?” Dipper nodded almost too quickly.

  “I’d be glad to take ya over! Let’s go before one of us ends up in a coop yeah?” Pyronica joked as she started walking; motioning the brunette to follow.

  “I- yeah- thanks- “

  They walked in relative silence, occasionally receiving looks. No one tried anything though; it seemed like everyone they passed was afraid of Pyronica. Dipper was confused, but he decided not to ask about it. The pink-haired woman led him through a maze of streets until they reached a building that seemed pretty new. She stopped and pointed at the alley next to it, “Go down there and in the first door on your left. Wait until I knock five times. No matter what you do, do not open that door.”

  “Why?” Dipper asked, turning to look at her. She pulled a strangely-shaped gun out of her boot and shot him a glare, “Just do it, Richie.”

  The teen was scared at the fire in her eyes and rushed to obey her. Before he closed the door, Dipper looked back at her and saw fire. He gasped and pulled the door shut, locking it behind himself. The teen leaned against the door, taking a few deep breathes. Then, someone pressed up against his back and he screamed.

  “Holy fu- Jesus christ kid it’s just me! Kid it’s just me!” A familiar voice chuckled. Moving their hands up in protest making sure that the smaller brunette won’t try to swing at him.

  Dipper took in a deep breath and turned around meeting the smirking face of Bill Cipher.

  “Fuck- Don’t do that shit again- christ-” The brunette huffed. God he wanted to punch Bill. God he wanted to. But he almost wanted to kiss this fucker at the same time. On the cheek, that’s not gay. Really, he was just glad that the asshole was okay.

  “Can’t promise that~!” Bill chirped, poking Dipper’s  nose. “Boop~!”

  God you’re such a 12 year old. Dipper snorted. “Guess so-”

  “You know so, totally straight friend who looks like he wants to kiss me right now.”

  Dipper tensed up and Bill laughed, “Calm down, Pinetree, you look like you’re gonna faint on me. I’m not really into Sleeping Beauty type stuff, kiddo. I hope you aren’t, because that’s really weird and you should probably see someone if that’s what gets you off.”

  “Why are you so weird? Why do I want to be friends with you? Both of these questions have the same answer,” the teen paused for a moment for dramatic effect, “I have absolutely no idea.”

  Bill chuckled and five knocks sounded out. The Misery called out, “Y’know, you really should start doing something special with your signal. Also, thanks for taking care of those guys out there. I would’ve done it myself, but I left my gun at the party last night.”

  “First off, fuck you. Second off, I was coming to give it to you when I ran into a Richie who said he was looking for ya. He’s that one you’ve been talking about that has a nice dick, right? One that you just wanted to put in your ass, but he wasn’t horny or gay enough, so you-”

  “That’s enough, Pyronica,” Bill said, blushing scarlet. Dipper decided it was really cute, especially in the dim light of the closet. The door suddenly opened and Bill’s friend was grinning. The two men shuffled out of the closet. But, then they stood awkwardly in the alley, neither of them saying anything. Pyronica kept looking back and forth between them. Dipper cleared his throat, “I’m just gonna say, I was really worried about you, Bill. I’m sorry for making you leave like that and I don’t wanna pressure you, but if you ever want to talk to anyone about what happened back then, I’ll always be here.”

  Bill seemed to tense, “I’m fine pinetree, you were just upset I getcha’. But I’m fine.” He chuckled.

  Dipper looked down, “Is it okay if I say I don’t believe that? Like, at all.”

  “Is it okay to say that I am fine and I’m not really lying about it?”

  “Bill, my great uncle is Stanley and my great grandparents were basically con artists. I can see right through you and I don’t think you’re okay at all.”

  The blonde quirked an eyebrow. “Pinetree, I’m telling you I’m fine. There’s nothing to worry about.”

  Dipper sighed and looked Bill in the eye. He stared for a few minutes, then sighed and went to leave.

  “Pinetree.”

  “I really don’t wanna trust you here. You’ve given me no reason for me to trust you at all. But, I’m gonna take a chance. I trust you to go find help when you need it, but until then, you have my number.”

  “Pinetree, I appreciate you worrying and all. But, to put that aside. I really don’t think you should be walking out in the streets alone. Would you like to y’know uh..” Bill scratched the back of his neck. “Stay the night and all?”

  “Bill, I think I can make it back home. Besides, my sister will either kill me or assume I fucked someone if I’m not in my bed when she wakes me up tomorrow.”

  “Then I can walk you home. Pinetree the streets here are dangerous as hell. Let alone if you leave they’ll remember you when you come back.”  

  Pyronica stepped forward, “Hey, triangle, I dunno if you remember, but I literally just chased off a bunch of guys looking to murder either you or the Richie. You oughta stay here and I’ll walk the Richie home. I’ll also tell Hectorgon to come over with Xanthar to keep you safe, okay?”

  Bill nodded, “Yeah, that’ll be best.” He took a long look at Dipper. “Guess I’ll see you around then Pinetree.”

  “See ya Bill.” With that they left the room leaving Bill in silence.