#It's just frustrating bc it literally makes what I love doing SO much harder bc I can't fit standard sizing

[aw-bean-s]

Yknow I gotta say, I love sewing and a lot of ppl find a lot of body confidence or whatever from sewing. But for me I never felt bad about my body until every pattern I find is telling me I'm meant to have a 26 inch waist.

[cherryrikis]

SUMMER ISNT OVER

PAIRING s2l park sunghoon x fem reader

WARNINGS eric makes a kinda offensive joke

GENRE strangers to lovers, romance/drama, summer love

SYNOPSIS driving to anaheim with your cousins was meant to be a fun trip away from the rest of the family. but when you knocked on the door of the wrong hotel room, the whole course of your trip would change.. and you’d find yourself missing a certain someone when its time to go home.

authors note - definitely longer than my standard fics (bc @hannicorpse wrote this with me !! ) but it’s only 4k ish😊

growing up in a big family meant your aunties and uncles had kids generally close to you in age. but more than anyone else, you always stuck with the same 3 of your cousins. danielle, eric, and karina. so now, you’d be stuck together for the next week as you drove through la.

“i don’t get why the drive is sooo long. like, it’s barely 40 miles from here.” eric complained as he saw the route on google maps. it was nearly 2 hours from his house in pasadena to the hotel in anaheim.

“how do you think we feel? we pretty much drove the same distance in the opposite direction just to pick you up!” danielle scoffed.

“maybe if you didn’t pop a tire and just slept at auntie’s house like we did, we could’ve been in anaheim by now.” karina. snickered.

“it wasn’t my fault! who just leaves a bunch of broken glass in MY driveway? and besides. i am not driving to long beach in this traffic.”

“you’re the one who decided to move up and out when we all stayed.” karina commented yet again.

“not my fault i didn’t wanna stay coastal. or in the hills.” “kinda is.”

with all the back and forth arguing coming from your cousins, it was getting harder and harder for you to focus on the road. you tried to ignore it, until you couldn’t anymore.

“can you guys just stop bickering? i can barely hear myself think, i literally just missed that last exit to the freeway. if anything, eric should be driving since he’s the second oldest, he’s the only boy, and he made us go out of the way to get him!” you announced in frustration.

hesitantly, eric reached out to tap your shoulder. “what now?” you sighed. “can you go to that gas station over there? i forgot to use the bathroom..” “eric sohn!” you groaned in annoyance, before reluctantly doing so.

despite taking an unusual amount of time to use the bathroom, eric did make up for his incompetence by driving the rest of the way like you suggested early on.

one minute, you’re closing your eyes to take a nap. and before you knew it, you were in anaheim, arriving at the marriott hotel.

the amount of luggage between you three girls was ungodly, especially since you’d be here for so long. yet somehow, eric probably packed more than then the three of you combined.

after finally checking in and hauling all the bags into the hotel elevator (since karina refused to get a luggage cart because she didn’t want to have to put it back), you were able to enter your rooms and relax.

you got two connected rooms instead of one big one, because it had a better deal. eric and karina shared the first room, 2343, while you and danielle shared the second room, 2345.

the singular hotel rooms alone weren’t really big, but it would still suffice. not a full kitchen, or a ‘real’ living room. on the other hand, both bedrooms were roomy and the bathroom was nice. so that was a plus.

during those first few hours after you had arrived, it was mainly spent going around grocery markets to get food and snacks to stock up the room.

but you all were starting to get hungry, craving some korean barbecue or hotpot. so, you were sat in some korean barbecue restaurant in buena park, cooking the meat before karina began to talk.

“you know, the pool is pretty nice and big. we should go check it out later.” she suggested, slightly looking up from the grill. you and danielle hummed in response.

when you got back to the hotel, turns out there were no towels at the pool. you had to ask for them at the front desk. so being the youngest, (and also being the one who accidentally burnt half of the brisket), you were forced to go and retrieve the towels.

“how many?” the receptionist asked. “uhh.. 5 pool towels please. actually.. sorry, i meant 4.” “sure thing, just let me go grab them from the storage room.”

you silently thanked the employee as she handed you the towels, before taking the elevator back up.

as the lights flashed floor 23, you walked to your room, smiling at any stranger who walked past you.

realizing you forgot the room key, you knocked loudly on the door as you waited for danielle to open up.

but when the door opened, it was in fact, not danielle. yet a handsome boy, around your age, with a charming accent. australian, maybe?

you slightly froze as the australian boy, along with three others behind him, stared at you.

“i- i am so sorry. i thought this was 2345.” you apologized, your cheeks flushing pink in embarrassment.

“ah yeah. this is 2347. i guess your room is next door. but uh, no worries. im jake, by the way.” he smiled at your shy figure. “so, what are you doing with all those towels? gonna go swim?” “oh, yeah. me and the people i’m with are gonna go see the pool later tonight.”

you awkwardly rubbed the back of your neck, scanning his room through the door frame. it was bigger than yours, but similar for the most part. two bedrooms, a full kitchen and living room. clearly, they paid for the suite. you noticed a pale boy sitting on the couch, staring at you. he was pretty cute. maybe even gorgeous. few moles, nice hair. practically porcelain skin.

you zoned out onto his face, pausing for a moment before returning your gaze back to the aussie who you now knew as jake.

“oh, you can come in if you want? you seem a little out of it.. uhh..” he stopped, waiting for you to say your name.

his words immediately brought you back to reality. “huh? oh. it’s uh, y/n. it’s okay i’ll just go back to my room. sorry again.” you mumble another apology, before leaving to go back to the correct room.

jake closed the door just as you left, letting out a laugh he didn’t was holding back. “she was so funny. she looked so scared.”

“who was that?” sunghoon asked. “some girl next door. her name was y/n or something.” jake answered.

“she’s kinda hot.” jay chuckled, nudging sunghoon with his elbow. jake and heeseung agreed, quickly discussing you and wondering if you had any friends with you. sunghoon quietly nodded in agreement. but, he couldn’t get you out of his mind. the thoughts in his head were practically louder than the voices around him. and he just hoped he didn’t accidentally mention it out loud.

however, the one thing he did say out loud, was suggesting to go to the pool. (in hopes of seeing you).

when you got to your room, you distributed the pool towels to each of them, then keeping one for yourself. you talked about how you went to the wrong room and laughed it off, but you left out the fact that all you could think about when jake spoke to you, was his cute friend with those moles.

eric scolded you for ‘disturbing the neighbors and their peace’ but honestly, you couldn’t care less. karina defended you anyway. it was kinda her and eric’s thing to just always bicker. they were more like brother and sister than your other cousins who were actually siblings.

later that night, you made your way to the pool. around 7:30pm. much to your surprise, jake and his friends were already there. “hey beautiful.” he teased, coming up to you from the pool, while his friends remained in the water.

“oh hey, i know you. were you waiting for me? didn’t take you for the flirtatious type.” you joked. “who’re your friends?” asked eric, not noticing the way heeseung had his eyes set on karina.

“right,” jake nodded. “oh, boyfriend?” he paused and asked you, interrupting himself. “older cousin..” eric grimaced.

“oohh.. um. sorry.. anyway, the one with the dark red hair is heeseung. the one with the dark blue trunks is jay. and the one with the moles is sunghoon.”

“do heeseung and sunghoon speak english?” eric halfheartedly joked.

“dude.” karina scoffed, slapping his bare chest.

“yeah..? we were all born here, in la.” jake raised an eyebrow. “so i assume you’re all cousins then?” he continued awkwardly.

“yeah.” you nodded. “that’s eric. the one next to me is karina, and the one next to her is danielle.” karina and danielle waved at jake after the introductions, but eric refused.

“don’t get any ideas.” eric crossed his arms, finally noticing how karina and heeseung were pretty much fawning over one another.

the atmosphere felt thick, and it was silent for a long while, before jake had broken the barrier.

“uh.. anyway. you’re welcome to hang out with us..” he shrugged, gesturing to their chairs before hopping back into the water.

taking up on his offer, you placed your belongings next to jake and his friends’ seats. you sat down for a moment, barely listening to how karina told eric can’t he just ask questions like that.

soon after, you moved to sit on the very edge of the pool, sticking your feet into the 10ft deep water.

you looked at sunghoon, watching as he had a contest with jay to see who could hold their breath the longest.

you noticed his habit of licking his fangs. you noticed how he’d often touch his eyebrows. you also noticed how he looked at you every so often, before hesitantly swimming up to you where you still sat.

“why aren’t you getting in?” he asked as he held onto the edge of the pool, his hands on either side of you.

“i will in a bit.” you paused. “so, sunghoon, right? one of jake’s friends?” “yeah.” he smiled, flashing his canines. “and you’re y/n, the girl who came knocking on the wrong door?” “yeah.” you grinned, mirroring him.

sunghoon hoisted himself up out the water, moving to sit next to you on the deck. luckily, he covered you in time as karina and danielle jumped in with a big splash.

“when did you guys get here?” he asked, finally looking into your eyes up close.

“just this afternoon. but we leave by the end of the week.” “yeah. us too.”

“so where are you from?” you question.

“west hollywood.”

“don’t tell me you’re one of those trashy hollywood kids.” you joke.

sunghoon playfully pouts, before breaking his act and laughing. “not even. i think i was raised pretty well.” he smiled. “but what about you? where are you from?”

“i live in long beach. but i was born and raised in beverly hills.”

“ew! don’t tell me you’re one of those trashy country club kids.” he jokes, clutching his chest.

you gasp, kicking water at him. he paused for a moment, before splashing you.

you and sunghoon were so immersed in each other and your conversations. you almost didn’t hear your cousins and his friends say they were going back up, after two hours of being in the pool.

the two of you stayed until closing time at 11pm, and even a little beyond that. you couldn’t think of a time you had that much fun with a guy.

“i had so much fun today.” sunghoon smiled with a genuine look of adoration, as he helped you up.

“i did too.” you blush before going to grab your tote bag. “we should hang out more often.”

“yeah, definitely. uhm, do ya think- do you think that i could like, you know. get your number? i mean, it’s okay if not. because like, if you’re not interested i totally get it. or if you just wanna be like friends that’s okay too. but like-”

you cut him off, pressing a finger to his lips. “of course you can.” you smiled brightly, taking his phone to dial in your number, pressing the call so you could also have his number saved on your phone.

“now we could call or text each other anytime.”

he smiled. and that was enough for you.

you walked back to your rooms together, but sunghoon paused before going in. “see you tomorrow?” “yeah, of course.”

“goodnight sunghoon.”

“goodnight y/n.”

you did in fact see each other tomorrow. while both of your groups went out, you two stayed behind to spend some time together. with so much spare time (and no car), you settled to just watch a movie in sunghoon’s room.

“what movie is this?” you asked.

“the notebook.” “oh. i never watched it.” and his jaw immediately dropped in shock. “there is no way you never watched this cinematic masterpiece. now you have to watch it! pay attention.” sunghoon exclaimed, pulling you closer to him by your waist.

by the end of the movie, you were barely awake. it was good, you could definitely agree. but, in the same sense, it was so comforting, it quickly put you to sleep.

you leaned closer into sunghoon, placing your head on his shoulder. almost in the crook of his neck.

his heart swelled when he looked down at you, watching how you struggled to stay awake. why do i feel this way? i mean sure, she is really pretty. but i barely met her yesterday.. he thought.

it really put things into perspective for you both.

despite this fact, he couldn’t stop himself from leaning down to press a soft kiss on your lower cheek, a centimeter or two away from your lips.

“kissing me on the first date?” you mumbled tiredly. “hey, we’re hardly here for 6 more days. let’s make it count.”

and you did exactly that, you were making every last moment count.

the next day, you went to the glendale galleria together. “i haven’t been here in so long.” you sighed, forgetting just how big the shopping center was. “it’s almost like this mall i visited up in san jose.”

you gasped as you saw a beautiful necklace. it had a dainty gold chain and a stunning pendant. “sunghoon? don’t you think this would look gorgeous with my white sweetheart top?” “i don’t know much about women’s clothing, but i know you’ll look good in anything.” he replied smugly.

“aw thank you! but- oh. nevermind it’s way too expensive.” you shrugged, going to put it back. but sunghoon stopped you.

“i’ll buy it for you.” “it’s okay, really. it’s too much.” “for that necklace? $150 is not a lot.” “but to me it is.”

he ignored you, swiping his card anyway.

sunghoon nearly bought everything you slightly stared at, despite all your protests. that night, you came home with bags of clothes, snacks, makeup, and just random items you didn’t even really need.

you felt so guilty, thinking it was a waste of his money. you wanted to pay him back but surely, there was no way you could afford it. yet sunghoon didn’t care. he wanted to see you happy.

you settled for buying him a slice of pizza from the food court or generally just any food he wanted. and that was enough for him.

on the next day, you even went to disney california adventures together. because you and your cousins just so happened to go the same day as sunghoon and his friends.

most of your time at the theme park was spent with him, often making your groups uneven. or, one of your cousins had to be with one of his friends.

you loved going into random gift shops with sunghoon, taking pictures while trying on mickey ears and random headbands. he even bought you two matching ones.

the radiator springs ride in cars land was jay and sunghoon’s favorite. sunghoon loved how he felt butterflies in his stomach. not only from how steep the slope was, but also from how you tightly squeezed his hand in fear.

the drop tower was a memorable moment to everyone. the picture that was displayed at the exit of the ride, revealed eric was actually clinging onto jake and karina the entire time.

“do not save that. if you guys actually buy this souvenir picture i’ll literally run away from home.” he grumbled in embarrassment.

“it’s okay dude. stop stressing, because you’re gonna end up grabbing onto me again when we go on the incredicoaster.” jake joked.

you all laughed at eric’s humiliation but quickly bribed him with a pretzel from the pym test kitchen (even though it was insanely dry).

you couldn’t forget about your last ride of the day, the classic, the ferris wheel. karina, danielle, heeseung, and jay, decided to go in a rocking cart. you and sunghoon, along with eric and jake, decided to stay in a normal carriage. but eric refused to ride with jake, settling for going by himself.

eric was one of the only boys in your family, so being around sunghoon and his friends seemed to make him feel a little unwanted. but you understood.

you laughed as you heard danielle and karina’s screams while their carriage practically turned upside down.

at the very peak of the ferris wheel, was where you and sunghoon had your first real kiss while the sun set in the background. “this is so pinterest worthy.” you whisper. “don’t ruin this beautiful moment for me.” he mumbled, turning to watch the view after you pulled away from him.

by the end of it, you were giggling like a bunch of high school kids.

when you walked out the park, passing one last gift shop before the exit, sunghoon quickly ran inside. and he came out with two matching stuffed animals. a baby stitch plush, and a baby angel plush.

of course, you were angel, and he was stitch.

the beach day was one of your personal favorites.

you had picked up food from a local restaurant along with some snacks to bring to the beach, like a picnic. after you had finished eating, you all went for a swim.

you and the girls were the first to get out of the ocean, watching how the boys attempted to drown each other. you murmured a few sentences between one another that evening. however, it was clear nobody was listening to each other. “no way..” you whispered to yourself as you looked beside you.

heeseung and karina were practically making heart eyes at each other, not caring about the people around them. danielle’s cheeks puffed up as she held in her laughter.

but, you couldn’t say much either. the whole time, your eyes only ever remained on park sunghoon. the man who had caught your attention from the start.

the tension between the pair was obvious. so, you and sunghoon came up with the ultimate plan.

sunghoon would complain about how he was sore from wrestling in the water, so he asked if karina could hold his bags. but, he knew heeseung would quickly come to take it from her.

after getting everything and everyone into the car, you set course back to the hotel. sunghoon drove single handed, with his right arm resting in your grasp as you played with his rings.

you gave each other a knowing look before turning around to see almost everyone else had completely fallen asleep.

there sat heeseung, with karina’s head buried in his neck. jake remained isolated next to them, his headphones on full blast, as danielle, jay, and eric rested peacefully in the row behind him.

you smiled at sunghoon, even if he couldn’t see it. but you both knew your mission was accomplished.

by day 6, you were back in sunghoon’s room again. just lying down in his bed, speaking out gently and peacefully as you held each other.

“if you stayed in beverly hills earlier on, maybe we’d have known each other earlier.” said sunghoon.

“probably. my uncle, dani’s dad, is a realtor, and he always sold houses in your neighborhood. maybe i really would have known you sooner.”

“this whole trip has gone by way too fast.” he sighed, his face buried in your hair. “at least we still have tomorrow.” you mutter.

“will we keep in touch?” “if this whole time really mattered to you, you’ll know. but, we’ll worry about it tomorrow.”

as your words slowly began to die down, sunghoon figured you had fallen asleep.

he held you tighter, bringing you closer to him. sunghoon pressed a kiss onto your lips softly, before he too fell into a wakeless dream.

technically, sunghoon’s room was really jake’s room too since they always had to share a bed. but, seeing you two together and understanding the situation, he decided to take one for the team and sleep on the couch (only after heeseung did him a favor and brought him a blanket).

and before you knew it, it was your last day together. you were sitting by the pool where you met. your feet and lower legs dipped into the cold water as you felt the warm anaheim breeze. same position, same spot.

"it's been a good week. best week i ever had. this whole trip feels like a long dream and i haven't waken up yet. like, im still in long beach, tanning in my aunties backyard." you say.

the moment felt still, everything was paused, before sunghoon spoke. "you'll visit me up in the hills won't you?"

"of course i will. you trashy hollywood kid. and you'll visit me down in long beach?" "course i will." and he pressed his lips onto yours.

a part of you wished you met sooner, and that you had more time.

when sunghoon pulled away, you didn’t want to let go. you brought yourself up to kiss him again, holding him as if you’d never see him again. because who knows when you really will?

you almost sob when it's time to go home, you think you really have fallen in love this time around.

sunghoon refused to let you go, as if you’d vanish into thin air if you’re not within his grasp. and you felt the exact same way. despite not being together for long, now you really don’t know how you’ll go on without him.

because now, the summer was over.

you two were inseparable in the moment, jake and jay literally had to pry and rip sunghoon off of you.

they were gone before you could cry, but not before he could kiss you for the last time.

“make sure to call me!” he exclaimed from the car, after jay forced him inside. “i love you y/n!” sunghoon shouted out loud, as they started to drive off.

“i’ll call you every night! i love you too sunghoon!” you called back. “more than you know..” but the last part barely came out above a whisper, as his car was gone into the horizon.

and after that, was when you finally let it all out. all the longing, and the heartbreak.

the downside of summer love, never knowing if you’ll meet again.

you sobbed quietly in the backseat alone, refusing to let your cousins see you like this. you couldn’t handle being around them right now.

for you, the amount of time you knew each other didn’t matter. it was the way you understood each other, made each other feel. the way you cared for each other, some might even say it was in the way you loved each other.

but now, it was time to return to your normal lives, go on with your jobs or school. your endless summer has reached its finale. but how could it end like this?

one minute you’re bawling your eyes out in the back of karina’s jeep. your eyes swelled up as you clutched your chest with a heavy heart. the next minute, you wake up in your driveway, watching as your cousins hauled your luggage out to your doorstep for you.

before you knew it, now you were in despair as you hugged your pillow tightly. your silk pillowcase was almost as soft as his milky skin. it was unfair. you had no idea if you’d truly keep contact, or even ever see him again. maybe this whole summer fling thing was stupid.

one good moment wouldn’t make up for all the bad that followed after. you began to think, maybe it didn’t mean as much to him as it did to you. he’s handsome. he probably gets around. i’m not the only girl.

you lay awake that night, torn between the feeling of his lips on yours, and if whether or not it’s something you’ll ever get to experience again.

but by the next morning, someone was frantically knocking, pounding, on your front door. it was much to your surprise when you saw who it was. park sunghoon.

“holy shit, you scared me! what are you doing here..?” you gasped out, still processing the moment.

“you’re fucking crazy if you think i’ll just leave you like that, angel.” he muttered, before pulling you in by the waist to reunite your lips in a desperate kiss.

you suppose whatever you were thinking of last night can be disposed of. he did come back for you, and you do get to experience his lips on yours again.

last night, you were crying to the point there was no water left in your body. only dried tear stains and your red eyes remained as evidence. but now? by the following morning, your lover boy was already at your door.

and when he finally moved in to kiss you again, you smiled, reaching up to softly stroke his warm cheek.

you realized, all doubts you had about him were insecurities. false scenarios your mind made up to keep you questioning.

because sunghoon knew he would never leave you. he’d say it a thousand times over again to let you know just how much he loves you.

the summer wasn’t over yet. not until the two of you were through. because everyday with sunghoon felt like summer.

[iwillneverforgiveyousunghanbin]

taedros twodros

part one: taedros taedros ☆ part three: taedros tresdros**NEW wc: 1.9k reader: femme afab (maybe just afab idk again lemme know if you think it needs/doesn't need a femme label and i didn't use any pronouns so?? but i'm playing it safe just in case) SPECIFIC WARNINGS BELOW CUT ~ MINORS DNI MATURE SMUT!! summary: after weeks of loserbestfriend!taerae eating you out and seemingly wanting nothing in return, you finally find out the reason and offer to repay his original favor... okay. i did it. don't say i never did anything for you. don't spend it all in one place. 💀 also yes i ai enhanced that pic but i had no choice. he's so lame i love him. y'all like the title? twodros. okay bye.

EXPLICIT SMUT BELOW CUT-- MINORS DNI!!

specific warnings: oral f & m receiving, p in v (riding), subbyyyyy taerae want to make that clear but also switch taerae, switch reader, cum play, virgin taerae oops, pet names, taerae's red sweatpants, calling taerae's pussy eating obsession an "addiction", literally no mention of condoms or bc idk you know that's not always a good idea in real life but also i'm not a safe sex authority do whatever you want babe just think about it first :)

~*...*~

pressing light, teasing kisses to your clit, taerae chuckles at the frustrated sounds you’re making for him. his being so annoyingly cute even when eating you out isn’t helping. god, you’re dying to get your hands on him.

you don’t know when you started feeling this way about your best friend, but in the last three weeks something had undoubtedly changed. what started out as a pitch for taerae to tame your curiosity had since seemingly turned into a game of how many times during your weekly “movie night” he could make you cum before you passed out.

spoiler alert: it was a lot. taerae ate you out so much, in fact, that you were actually starting to worry…

was taerae addicted to eating pussy? had you been unknowingly enabling his pussy addiction? were you going to have to stage an anti-pussy intervention?

help check him into pussy rehab?

“fuuuck,” you whine, fingers threading through taerae’s hair as the sudden feeling of his tongue fucking into you breaks your train of thought. you’d already cum twice but taerae has caused you to become so greedy.

even if taerae had some sort of problem… who were you to complain when you were reaping all the benefits of it?

a moan from taerae brings your attention back to him and you notice he’s already begun humping the bed just a few minutes in. the past two weeks, he’d become less and less able to hold himself back; rutting into his mattress while you came on his tongue for hours. 

you’d seen taerae like this last week and gently pulled him up to you by his shirt collar; salivating when you saw how hard he was in his joggers. your fingers hooked over his waistband as you looked up at him tentatively. you expected him to eagerly agree, but instead he’d just shook his head and returned his lips to your swollen cunt.

watching as taerae moans into you at both your sweetness and the friction on his clothed cock, you realize just how desperate you are to make him feel as good as he had been making you feel.

“taerae,” you say but he doesn’t hear you, eyes closed as his tongue laps at your folds. you tug his hair a bit harder to get his attention, repeating, “taerae?”

his eyes flutter open as he looks up at you--  pulling back from your pussy reluctantly. he runs the back of his hand across his chin, wiping some of your juices from his mouth. “what’s wrong, baby? everything okay?”

you shake your head. “tae...”

“what, baby?” he asks, pushing up on his hands and sitting up to dote on you. he places a hand on each of your knees, pressing kisses to the inside of each leg. “tapping out already? i know you can give me more.”

“tae, i--,” you whine at his words; sitting up a bit on your elbows. eyes falling to the crotch of taerae’s ugly red sweatpants he'd had since high school, the small wet spot you find sends a fresh wave of need to your core. “want you. want you so bad.”

“y--... you do?” he asks in utter disbelief. he blinks at you nervously; swallowing hard as he averts your gaze. “are you sure? ‘cause i can just keep doing this if you want--”

“do you really not want to fuck me or something?” you interrupt, pouting at your best friend. “you’re so hard you’re soaking through your pants, so i just thought that maybe you’d want to. but you absolutely don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“fuck, i want to,” he says softly, squeezing your knees as his eyes find yours again. “but...”

“tae,” you coo worriedly, finally closing your legs and climbing over to him. “is something wrong? is all of this too weird? maybe we shouldn’t have done any of this...”

“no, no, no! i like this,” taerae pleads, shaking his head quickly. he presses his lips together for a moment, clearly unsure of whether or not to say his next thought. “i--... i don’t wanna fuck this up.”

your brow furrows at the sentiment. “you’re not gonna fuck it up, tae.”

“i am,” he says, scrunching his nose up. “because... um. well. remember when i said i ‘wasn’t a virgin’?”

“OH MY GOD, I KNEW IT!” you shout; much to the horror of taerae. you take his face in your hands, squishing it up cutely. “why didn’t you tell me, you absolutely adorable little virgin loser?”

“i thought you’d make fun of me,” he huffs through the pout your hands are squishing his lips into. you unsquish his face; pushing his floppy hair back out of his eyes sweetly.

“you’re really fucking good at eating pussy, tae,” you compliment; his cheeks tinging red. “you had me fooled... is that the only thing you’ve done?”

he nods shyly. 

“well look at us,” you say with a laugh, poking at his dimples. “no guys would eat me out and all girls will let you do is eat them out.”

he sighs; blinking quickly through his embarrassment. 

“well i guess we can be done for tonight, if you want,” you say, starting to climb off of his bed when a hand around your wrist pulls you back. you look at him, the expression on his face telling you he’s as “curious” as you were a couple weeks ago.

“or i can help you out,” you suggest and from the way his cock twitches in his pants, you know he was hoping you’d say that. “if you wanna... see what it’s like?”

“mm. wanna see,” he evhoes softly and you’re surprised by how much cuteness is radiating off of him right now. you’re on top of him in seconds, finally kissing him for what you realize is the first time. his lips are so soft and responsive and when he whimpers into your mouth, you tug his shirt up and over his head and push him gently to the mattress; his head resting on his pillow as he looks up at you through lidded eyes.

situating yourself between taerae’s legs, you pull at the waistband of his stupid red sweatpants and he helps you remove them. his bulge is straining against his black boxer briefs and you begin to palm him through them to help relieve some tension. as soon as he feels the slight pressure, he bucks his hips into your hand-- whining for more.

“do you want something, baby?” you ask, squeezing a bit firmer. he nods frantically, placing his hand over yours to keep you there. you squeeze a bit too hard now and taerae seethes at the pain. “don’t get demanding. you’ll take what i give you.”

he nods again, eyes wide with understanding. “m’sorry. m’so--... oh my god.”

pulling taerae’s boxers off his hips and down his legs, you sink down onto your stomach-- both of your hands wrapping around the base of his cock as you lick a long stripe from the shaft to the tip.

his dick is pretty— even prettier in your hands and you’re dying to put it in your mouth. sticking out your tongue teasingly, you tap him against it and the whimpers that fall out of taerae make you feel a bit dizzy with power.

after playing around a bit more with the head of his cock, you take his length in your mouth— pressing down on taerae’s hips to keep him from bucking down your throat by accident. 

tapping the back of your throat lightly, the sound that he makes is both deliciously obscene and concerning. you really don’t want him to cum before you get to feel that pretty cock stretching your walls.

you pull off of him and the bratty whine from the loss of contact that escapes him only inflates your ego. “if you cum down my throat, you’re not gonna get to fuck me. is that what you want?”

taerae whines again, his hand finding the back of your head and gently trying to push you back down on him. you know he’s not actually being forceful— he just wants you to react.

as you smack his right thigh hard, the mesmerized look in taerae’s eyes is thrilling.

“let me take care of you, okay?” you soothe, sucking his cock sloppily in between words. “you’ve been so sweet to me, baby. wanna make you feel good.”

taerae nods with a whimper as you straddle him; grabbing the base of his cock to position under your entrance. as he feels you sink down onto him, all he can cry is, “oh my g— oh fuuuck."

“fuuuck,” you echo in aas your walls slowly mold to taerae’s size. 

“please, please,” he moans; clearly already out of his mind. “n-need you s-so bad.”

“you’ve got me, baby,” you soothe, a hand gripping at either side of his chest. “how does it feel?”

“pussy so warm,” he cries, a hand finding each of your hips and holding them tightly. “so wet, too. oh my god it’s amazing.”

you wish all the guys you’d been with had talked to you like this. the way taerae basically worshipped your pussy was intoxicating.

“baby,” you whine— starting to fuck yourself on his cock. you watch as taerae’s eyes roll back in absolute bliss.

it’s only a few minutes before his nails are digging into the skin at your hips as he warns, “fuck, i can’t. m’sorry i can’t— gonna cum, g'nna—.”

“you can cum, baby,” you allow, leaning down and pressing a kiss to his lips. he keeps you there for a moment, kissing you and moaning into your mouth until you pull back. “want you to cum.”

“fuck, i--. fuck, m’cumming,” he cries; hips bucking into you as he reaches his high. as he slowly comes down, he’s unintelligibly babbling, “pussy s’good, honey— wanna live in it oh my god s’perfect i could die…”

“ssssh, baby, it’s okay,” you coo, pressing kisses up his chest. “you did so good.”

“mmm,” he mewls, covering his face with his hands as his cheeks flush pink. 

“you’re gonna wanna see this, tae,” you reach up and remove his hands from over his eyes, letting one fall to his chest and pulling the other towards you. lifting up off of him, taerae hisses at the loss of warmth as his cock falls to his stomach-- still leaking slightly from the tip. 

“holy fuck,” he moans-- the sound turning to a light, disbelieving laugh as he watches both of your juices start to drip out of you and onto his balls. you bring his fingers to your core; coating his middle and ring fingers in the mixture and bringing them to your lips. you pop them in your mouth, sucking them clean as you see taerae’s cock twitch at the sight. “you’re so fucking hot-- i can’t take it.”

taerae sticks his fingers back in your entrance; this time bringing the liquid to his own lips. he pops his fingers in his mouth, exhaling with satisfaction at the taste. taking you by the waist suddenly and flipping you onto your back, he folds your legs to your chest-- granting himself full access to your pussy. he looks at you; the hungriest you’ve seen him yet as his focus returns to your messy, throbbing cunt. you whimper as taerae husks, “gonna clean you up.”

so what if he's addicted?, you think as he dives in again.

so are you.

[solargeist]

I love that you went from the watchers being this mildly terrifying force that doesn’t realize they’re terrifying (and traumatizing Grian) side eyeing that one 3L comic you made about the watchers making it a “game” for Grian (still very much thinking about the “yaaaaay you won!”) to now Oh My Gosh A Tiny Being Can We Adopt Him pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease

ehehe i was trying to get my footing !! I think I have a grasp now on how I like writing them now ....

However !! The Watchers still very much traumatize Grian, even though they genuinely do love him, I've said that since the beginning, thats their babeyyyyyyyy Watcher, but still a Watcher nonetheless.

Aethers not exactly excused from this either, she loves him and cares abt him, but shes an angel, she just doesn't understand. She has an issue with..... Toxic positivity ? Shes not very confrontational and doesn't want to have hard conversations with him, its easier to hide things or just comfort him by rubbing his back or hair when hes upset. When Grian asks to visit Evo again early on, she already knows all the players have left, but lets him see for himself anyway. Its like when a kid begs to eat something like cocoa powder, not understanding how bitter it is, so you just let them. So its not a big deal to her, but is to Grian, its the horrifying realization that he is completely alone, all of his friends left, he feels abandoned and betrayed. All good things must come to an end though, she says, nothing lasts forever, except us ! haha !

Not to mention the purposeful sleep deprivation and isolation, the full control over what he eats, where he goes, what he does. Its not very fun being a kid, its hard and no one understands.

Aether didn't originally want to be a parent, nor was she exactly ready for that, so she just did a lot of things that were normal to her, what she went through or what other Watchers had told her. But ! She does care abt him, enough to bend the rules just a tinyyy bittttt sometimes bc ~technically shes allowed to since he's her kid, yes he can go home if he has a headache or eat fish if he asks for it wym.

Theres also Flora, his aunt, she has no interest in kids and sees Grian just as a Watcher in training, this means she's a lot harder on him, but bc he's her sister's kid she doesn't act on this all the time. She also projects her own issues on him, how can you survive or do anything in life if you're not strong ? Here fight this phantom creature you've literally never seen before. Thats as far as their relationship goes, she teaches him to fight. She pets his head sometimes anyway. (kind of like how parents will sometimes force their kids to play sports, or take extra classes, or get frustrated with you over math and you cry over disappointing them)

I don't think the Watchers are intentionally evil, but I don't think they're goofy dumb birds with baby fever either, they're complicated !! There something abt how people who love you can hurt you, and religion can try to save you and it'll doom you instead. (ok they can be a little bit dumb birds sometimes, but they're also righteous angels at the same time)

Its also kinda scary being 25 years old, and then being brought to some place you thought you had equal grounds on, but everyone is taller/stronger and treats you like a child or even a pet, that alone would have some side effects, i imagine.

They're very fun to write abt.

Grian also doesn't often get to see the sun.

[czrpenters]

I LIVE FOR THÈSE FILTHY SAM CARPENTER THOUGHTSSSS AND UR WRITING IS AMAZINGGG ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

I would like to contribute to the pile so…

The reader would be on an important phone call or they’re trying to talk to a friend on the phone but Sam would be trying to make them cum while on call bc she has no self control

Sam wouldn't give two shits about what you were doing. If she wanted you, she would have you. Sam would make you hers independently of the situation; and that lead to pretty embarrasing phone calls to your friends. Some of them knew better by now to absolutely never call you. A text would be more than enough.

But this one time, you had to answer a call you could never decline. It was from one of your professors in college, that wanted to personally congratulate you for an assignment you've delivered last week. "I'm so happy you liked it, Professor McKinley..."

You said it with all the strenght that you had in you. I hope he didn't noticed, you thought to yourself. I mean, while you were talking to one of the most important people in your academic career, your girlfriend was knuckles deep inside of you trying to make you cum. She wanted it now, how could you say no?

It was getting tough to supress your noises, you had to pretty much keep your mouth away from the microphone so he wouldn't hear your breathless moans. Sam didn't cared; she was fucking you so good, that even if you were talking to the fucking president, she still wouldn't stop. She had beefy arms, she literally could finger fuck you for hours if she wanted to. Waiting for her to stop was never an option. "Y-Yeah, sure... I would love to..."

You stuttered, feeling strong spasms taking over your body. Sam found your g-spot. Fucking hell. She realised immediately due to your body reaction and started to fuck you harder than before, making sure to curl her fingers inside of your pussy.

"So fucking tight, princess." Sam whispered, more to herself than to you. Her hands were already soaking wet at that moment. And you, poor you, trying so hard to not give your professor the wrong impression. You wanted to be a serious, respected professional in your field. How the hell would you do that if you were speaking to you teacher while your girlfriend played with you like a fucktoy? He's gonna think I'm such a slut.

It didn't take long for you to cum. Sam was pretty good at her job, let's be completely honest. But this time she was being purposefully worse just so you could spend the entire phonecall supressing your slutty moans. Oh, she definetly wanted you to suffer. It took every ounce of strenght in you to not scream Sam's name in your professor's presence when you had your orgasm, making Sam kind of frustrated. Everything she wanted was to everybody know that you were hers, and hers only. "Thank y-you... I'll see you monday, Professor..."

You ended the call, completely breathless and sweaty. Sam was already licking you clean; she would always do that just so she could taste you. "You're such a bitch, Samantha."

"And yet you enjoy it."

[desafinado]

Damnn i like s/o wife hcs so much can you do the same to zhongli and diluc👉🏻👈🏻 also hope you have nice day

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 happily ever afters (?)

°｡⋆ zhongli, diluc, kazuha x reader (separately)

°｡⋆ suggestive like literally the word, sickening fluff once again

note: ofc, and thank you, hope your days are well too. added kazuha bc while i’m here, might as well… i'm glad y'all like the first one, and if there’s anyone else you’d like to see, don’t hesitate to leave an ask!! also... depending on whether i got the courage to post it alr, a 50 followers celebration is coming up, (its here!!) so feel free to join in ^^

(alhaitham, ayato) | (zhongli, diluc, kazuha)

zhongli ♡

all his years on teyvat, and you’d think he’d get used to all of the beauty it has to offer… but you still catch him off guard when you boop his nose first thing in the morning.

though he couldn’t have asked for a better way to wake up, it gives him the perfect excuse to shower you with kisses.

i feel like he’d easily slip into the so called “married life” as well as being the perfect husband (or as i like to say, malewife)

he cooks, he cleans, he makes you feel all warm inside…

he even visits during work, or vice-versa. you both have lunch with whatever he had initially packed just for you (you insist for him to join you).

on the less busy days, you both might even go for a walk by liyue harbor, taking in the stunning view of the ocean amidst the work on the docks

another spot you both would frequent is the path to the golden house, which might be a harder trek, but the views of the mountains as well as the history scattered around is very much worth it.

early on in your relationship, he already took note of your affection for certain dishes, so now he knows which ones to cook when you come home feeling celebratory, fatigued, frustrated, or just sad.

he lulls you to sleep (cuddled together ofc) with some old liyue tales and folklore, forehead kisses every now and then.

expect a lot of road trips along liyue or even to other nations. he wants to experience teyvat, now that he isn’t very preoccupied being an archon, and he wants to experience it with you.

even if it's just for a weekend, he makes sure that it’s something you’ll both treasure.

while on these trips, your favorite pastime is just taking candid pictures of him; they either turn out absolutely stunning and jaw dropping…or just plain goofy

“hehehe…” “what are you giggling about, my love?… oh. wonderful picture nonetheless ,my darling, though i apologize you caught me at a bad moment.”

you sighing at him in content, as he recounts his own experiences about the location you’re both visiting.

since, he’s always recounting to you his experiences in the past, you make it a point to introduce to all the newer advances in the world… whether it be technology or gastronomical breakthroughs

“so you’re saying… they put a whole dango in this milk? and people drink it? that doesn’t sound very…” “healthy? yup, but the raiden shogun herself approves of it so…”

though it might not suit his tastes or its emergence into culture, he’s happy trying whatever you have to offer him.

you’ll also tell him the history and cultures from your own homeland! he’s gets very excited about it, because he’s always up for learning something new, especially when it’s something near and dear to you.

he just wants to spend as much time as he can with you; he of all people knows how short human life can be. he’s willing to spend it making sure you’ve lived a good one.

he’s been more silent than usual; you’ve been talking for a good 20 minutes now. he’d usually ask you questions or share his own insights from your sharing, but he’s been totally silent, only giving nods of affirmation. you pause your ramblings for a moment to check on him.

“dear? you haven’t spoken this entire time, i have to admit it is quite strange.”

he exhales softly, shaking his head.

“does it make you uneasy? i apologize, i was just… captivated by you.”

a blush spreads from your cheek to your entire face; he never did fail at making you feel like a middle-schooler with a crush. you hit his chest playfully, trying to play off your flustered state. he just giggles, admiring you under the golden sunset.

“zhongli!”

“it is only the truth, my love. it seems that everyday my love for you only grows stronger.”

diluc ♡

you’ve never seen lovesick, until you see diluc come home everyday to collapse in your arms.

he’ll often rant about rowdy patrons at the tavern or pompous businessman he had to meet that day, you just try to get him to a better place… or at least you try to.

“he annoyed me to hell, darling. he acted like he owned the place…” “but you do, dear. next time, you should just kick him out. don’t they know they’re keeping you from me?”

his embarrassed state is something he only lets you see… and well, cause. it just baffles him that you'd go to such lengths or say such things to demonstrate your love for him.

when you both have a day off, you both spend it around the estate, enjoying each other’s presence.

reading books in the library, baking a batch of cookies, picking grapes or braiding his hair. he absolutely craves these moments of normalcy, and you’re happy spending it with him.

braiding his hair is especially fun, because it gives you the opportunity to run a hand through his soft locks. you also steal a kiss or two on his neck.

if you two have a day or night out on the town, you can be sure that he might hold your hand a bit tighter or rest an arm around your shoulder the entire time.

it’s not that he’s necessarily jealous, but it's a small reminder for him that whatever he can face, he can face it with you.

so if a certain knight comes along, teasing him, he doesn’t feel at all embarrassed, because his love for you is nothing to be ashamed of.

but back to coming home, it's especially satisfying after spending a day with you. it’s a good kind of tired, the tiredness you’d feel from an overload of serotonin.

if he decides to go on some darknight hero business, you’ll be there to see him off and make sure he’s ready for whatever he might come across.

he’s even discovered a snack bar or two in his coat pocket.

bloody, bruised, or unscathed, you’ll be there to welcome him home. he’s told you to go on and sleep without him, but you’ve refused every time.

the first time he found you, he felt the guilt go straight to his head. you assured him you were fine though, and you’d only feel sorry if he wasn’t the last thing you saw before you slept.

if time and fatigue truly forbids it, you’re sure to find him in morning light, his arms around you.

he never wants you to worry over him… more than you already do.

to him, you’re the only thing worth coming home for, the only reason he’d want to come home in one piece. between all the loud crowds causing him a headache or bloody battles he’s fought, he imagines you waiting for him at the place he knows as home.

“oh my god.”

his voice is deep and almost shaky, seeing you reading a book and sitting at the edge of your shared bed. the sun was set to rise in an hour or so, but here you were, waiting for his arrival. he dropped whatever he was holding, not caring for the loud thump it made; he immediately brought his arms around you, the both of you softly falling to the bed.

“d-did you wait this long for me? you didn’t have to… i’m so-”

“diluc.”

you bring a palm to his cheek, guiding his gaze towards you. your eyes did look sleepy, but a lazy yet bright smile ran across your face.

“it doesn’t matter, my dear. i’m just happy you’re home, here, with me. that’s all that ever matters.”

kazuha ♡

you both compromised on a long distance relationship for the majority of your relationship, but when marriage came up, you knew you couldn’t keep it that way.

rather than him having to come visit you every few months, he gradually stayed longer and longer, until he truly did live in your own home… or well, both your home.

that didn’t stop his wandering ways though, in fact, he had a newfound goal to show you everything he had seen.

expect him to be taking up all your vacation days, planning a thorough and perfectly personalized itinerary.

if time allows it, you’ll even travel for a month or so, just wandering around, before coming back home.

when kazuha came back home, you’d always be there and make him feel at him. he was literally coming back from a long-winded journey after all.

he wanted to do the same for you, so he’d push through his fatigue to take care of you once you both return. he’d run you a bath and make some comfort food to help you relax.

sleeping in until tomorrow afternoon, your bodies lazily entangled with one another. if you even try to get up, he’s quick to pull you back down, encouraging you to rest.

“i’m not that tired anymore…” “hmm, well i still am, very much.” “okay, then let-” “i need you here though, else i’ll never get up.”

you know he’s exaggerating and simply being clingy, but maybe you should indulge him, as well as yourself.

when it’s back to business, you can expect him to be taking care of the house. he’s already decorated it in trophies and memories he’s brought back from his own adventures, but he focuses on showcasing the memories you and him have had.

he’ll also be passing time, writing poems about his life with you, or just you. you are his muse, after all.

the moment you come home, you can expect him to be clinging on to you, as if letting you go would mean that he would lose you.

after one particularly long day (you left without giving him kisses :( rip ), he just carried you in his arms to your shared bedroom. he didn’t let you leave until he showed you just how much he missed you (kisses and cuddles or something more suggestive oh my).

or you know, he’ll just tell you with all the poems he’s thought up while you were gone… maybe even through song, if he’s feeling especially heartstruck.

he realizes how you must’ve felt when he went on those months long journeys, so he’s trying to make up for it now.

he realizes how much he’s been missing you too, all those nights he spent alone feeling like something was missing… it was you.

“that was beautiful, ‘zuha.”

your head is snug against his chest, and your voices are pronounced against the night breeze, river splashing and crickets chirping. the tent kazuha pitched gives you the privacy you two very much deserve.

“the poem? the view? or… could you possibly even be talking about me?”

he smirks at his last suggestion, you can only giggle softly. you snuggle deeper against his touch, trying to etch this moment in your head.

“all of it, beloved. everything about you is beautiful. i…”

he only shakes his head, giggling right back at you. he welcomes your closeness, resting his head on your shoulder.

“all i do, all i see, all i am, they are only possible with you. you, my dear, are the most beautiful soul that i am thankful to be graced with.”

requests are open!! please do not reposts on other sites.

[eldrith]

I hope Jace is always a giver and wants his girl to feel good even when he’s being possessive.

I wouldn’t really call it “rough” but I feel like he is much more “desperate” like if thinks someone will take you away from him, he will kiss you harder because in his mind, he has to prove himself and convince you to stay with him, like he usually makes gentle love but when he is upset, he will go a tad harder than usual not in a mean way but in a “please stay with me, please love me, I can make you feel so good. Please chose me. Please, please, please…!sort of way. Just desperation and passion and begging. He will cry of course.

Like he would never shove his cock in your throat and make you gag, choke and cry and not care. Even if you two had a fight and you pissed him out, he wouldn’t sexually take it out on you. Ive read some concering fics where women become sexual outlets for mens rage like women are not emotional and sexual punching bags. It happens enough in real life and Jace is too kind to do that to someone he loves

Like he knows he’s a bastard and everyone else knows it too so his entire life, he has wanted to prove himself so I think that translates to the bedroom where he is always eager to please, whether is is upset or not. Like it’s just his nature to want his s/o to feel good from him, regardless of how he is feeling, know what I mean?

i literally could not imagine jace not being a giver, or not wanting to put his girl first before anything. absolutely bb. when i said 'outlet' in nooo way did i mean that he'd take out anger or be rough, rather as you mentioned just rlllyyyy putting his all into it.

going harder, maybe even overstimulating bc he wants to prove how good he makes you feel, etc. when he goes harder it is in a desperate way, he's desperate to make you feel good, he's desperate to feel you - he's never the kind to punish, sexually or in general. he's too kind. never could i see jace doing anything super rough it wouldn't be arousing to him and he'd never want to disrespect you. and yes some fics ive seen have women just become outlets for rage sexually and it is v concerning. jace would never!!!

he is so eager to please and when he's jealous or upset its probably heightened - bc after all, he's never angry at you; he's internalized his emotions bc he knows he's a bastard, he knows everyone else knows, and he thinks he has to prove to you that he's worthy. he's embarrassed with himself and his hot head, so even if he got angry with you he would immediately backtrack (if he ever raised his voice at you or offended you he'd burst into tears fr). even after a fight, he'd be so upset and just even if he's frustrated he'd put all his focus on your pleasure. he wants you to know how he feels, even if somewhere in his mind he thinks he isn't worthy of those feelings

[peachjagiya]

this is going to have some conjecture but it’s just my little theory lol. so we know since the solo era began, tae and jk were seeing eo and hanging out a lot. so much to the point that they missed eo after being separated for literally just a few days, resulting in jk hopping on a long ass flight just to see tae lol. they had no official cameras around them at all during the break period and were able to live pretty freely and however they wanted. jungkook even said himself that his break was the best and he had so much fun. i think bc he was able to freely be with tae whenever he wanted and however he wanted during that time, he got really used to that. it was quite a few months of jk going awol and when we finally heard from jk again, it was him accidentally being heard singing in the back of tae’s live. after this era of being used to being free/acting however he wanted w tae, i think coming back in front of official cameras w tae stressed jungkook out more than it used to. prior to solo era, they were used to dialing it back and hiding their relationship in front of cameras and other people. as frustrating as i’m sure it still must have been back then, they were accustomed to it and it was expected. however, after a long period of no longer having to do that, going back to smothering your relationship down is probably then ten times harder and more stressful. that is why during solo era i do feel like jk has treated tae ever so slightly differently and a bit “cold” from time to time when the official cameras are on them. i think he’s very on edge when tae is w him in front of bh cameras now since he’s not as used to having to control himself anymore. he seems to be overthinking a bit and being overly cautious to the point that it may come across as slightly blunt/cold. now i don’t think it’s as bad as some ppl make it out to be. some ppl think he’s being overtly rude or mean to taehyung and doesn’t want him there but i think that’s being very dramatic and ignorant of the clear love that jk has for tae. i think in some sense, yes, maybe it’s possible jk would rather taehyung not be there w him in front of official cameras. but i don’t think it stems from jk disliking tae or being annoyed by him at all. i think it stems from him being anxious about how his interactions w tae could come across if they’re not super careful and he’d rather not have to be overly careful. or have to have the staff cut out a million things if they can avoid it.

taehyung obviously seems to be much more comfortable and doesn’t really give a fuck anymore. and it’s totally fine/valid for both of them to feel different levels of comfort in front of the cameras. i don’t think taehyung sees it as jk being rude to him or anything like that. he surely knows jk better than any of us ever will and if taehyung ever felt mistreated i doubt he’d be so down bad for jk lol.

btw this isn’t a criticism on jk at all, i completely understand why he’d act like this. he doesn’t need to change how he acts to appease people. there is no doubt in my mind that he loves taehyung to pieces. and taehyung definitely knows that. it’s just a simple theory about why things have felt a bit different in solo era in official footage and the reasoning behind how i think that developed :)

I think you're right on the money, actually! The increased freedom created by months and months of no cameras had to feel good and had to strengthen their resolve to protect what they have.

I maintain his supposed coldness is just him being mischievous with Tae, energy matching with Tae's dry humour.

But I mentioned yesterday that even out couples, even heterosexual couples, who have no need to hide anything, want to keep their secrets about how they are in private. It's perfectly natural to lean into safer ways of communicating. So multiply that by ten with a lot riding on it and all this pressure and cameras? You're so right, I think!

It's kind of like... You spend years wanting to have a Twinkie and then you eat a Twinkie and you love twinkies so much, they're everything you ever dreamed they'd be...

Then someone says "you need to only eat lettuce right now" and takes your Twinkies away but they put this box of twinkies right there in front of you?!

You're gonna get irritated and maybe be like "fine I don't even want a Twinkie then. *irate lettuce munching*"

..... Know what I mean? Tae is the Twinkie. That's what I mean.

ANYWAY. AHEM. I suspect we're probably not going to see anything overly affectionate or lovey-dovey in Jeju. But also remember JK particularly is not always that good at keeping his poker face and their affection and love usually shines through in little actions. I bet there'll be some low key sweetness.

Thanks anon! 💜

[nonsenuser]

planet of the apes (trilogy + kingdom)

spoilers ahead for the whole planet of the apes trilogy and kingdom of the planet of the apes

i have a very faint memory about these movies from when i was younger, i mean its a very popular series, who wouldnt be intrigued by the concept of talking apes (also the visual effects for these r genuinely very impressive) but what i don't remember is how surprisingly nuanced the conflicts in the movies feel

when watching these movies as someone much older, with the context of everything currently happening and everything that has happened, it puts the conflict between the apes-humans into a very real life context. caesar is such a wonderful, interesting and honestly deeply complex character, the trilogy works incredibly well as a whole and while some of the movies r much much better than others, his upbringing, trauma and overall experiences play such a role in what we see him do and say in these movies. what makes caesars experience so unique, is his proximity to his oppressors (humans). he has undoubtedly seen the ugly side to them, but on the other hand, he was literally raised by a human. who he undoubtedly holds so much love for and at the same time understands the ways in which as a collective humans have been bad to his people.

that's also why koba, who has seen the most grotesque side of human nature, and in a sense these experiences have radicalized him, will always haunt caesar. because of koba's experiences, one could say his ideology is more focused and clearer than caesars, who is grappling with it continuously throughout the trilogy bc of his attitude twds humans (and this gets brought up repeatedly throughout the trilogy) koba isn't even wrong in his frustrations, would the humans have attacked first? maybe, if the humans had a leader who was much like caesar, the conflict wouldn't have escalated to a point we saw in war. but again who could say for sure. im looking back on what i wrote so far and ive realized how much harder it is to talk about the original trilogy! Dawn is the best of the trilogy for this reason, the escalation of the conflict is dense and you could analyze it through a political lens and compare it to real life events... but i don't think i have enough political insight to serve it justice.

people have analyzed War (which is think is kinda easier to analyze than Dawn) like theres a clear parallel with american nationalism and how horrific and damaging that is to the oppressed (like they put the apes in literal camps) and also they had a strong strong desire to rid of anyone who held mutated virus, you could pull the pandemic parallel sure but this is also how an unfortunate huge chunk of the world feels about disabled people (the idea that ppl need to rid them so they don't infiltrate the gene pool or something like that). and just like in real life you have the humans outside of the camps who are opposed to the ideology of woody harellson and his men.

but anyways throughout all of this CAESAR grows and learns, and as a leader he guides his kind to freedom, their path to liberation is rough but it is well understood that his leadership was incredibly inspiring. it is no surprise that people live by his word, generations after he passed, to the point where they misconstrue his message

kingdom planted a lot, and i mean a LOT of interesting seeds. caesar being a religious figure of sorts, and noa, who you could call a skeptic for most of the movie, are great inclusions to continue the saga. a lot of very important questions get asked (not literally, but this is what i gathered)

caesars words guided their kind back then, how suitable are they for everyone generations later? (especially since they just have word of mouth to go off of)

the humans want to 'reclaim what they once had', what lengths are they willing to go for that and is it justified?

IS IT POSSIBLE FOR HUMANS AND APES TO LIVE SIDE BY SIDE? the most important question of them all. and it will be a very difficult one to tackle! has it been long enough that apes will 'forgive' humans? will humans just want to consume and reclaim without consideration for the apes? how nuanced r the viewpoints within the humans and apes?

DO YOU SEE HOW MUCH THERE IS HERE. the messaging is so so so dense and even though it is just an ape movie it is really fascinating to see how all of this plays out! i am so incredibly excited for the sequels to kingdom. would love anyone to jump in on the conversation, correct me or otherwise it is just a lot! i love this series!

[pupyuj]

do you think you could write something for dom!sinb if you get the chance? i feel like she’s the type to play games w her subs and do it unfairly too 🫣🫣 like she tells you to be quiet and you are quiet but then she finds some way to say you did it wrong so she just looks for excuses to tease and taunt you 🫠🫠🫠 idk i think she can be subby at times esp for some of the other members but she’s such a dom in other aspects 😔😔 if u do write something like this i’d prefer it not g!p but ik that’s something you like to do so don’t let me hold you back !! also, can i be 🐰 anon if it isn’t taken? i’ve been a silent enjoyer of your works for awhile 🤧🤧

hi and welcome, 🐰 anon!! glad you've been enjoying my stuff hehehe 💖 also i'm pretty sure this is my first time doing anything for my queenies in gfriend???? so yayyyy!!

now why are you inside my head anon i've thought about the exact same thing about dom!sinb for the longest time 😭 mostly the "looks for excuses to tease and taunt you" part bcs she enjoys that humiliated and frustrated look on your face whenever she accuses you of something you clearly didn't do, but you have to take responsibility for bcs what else were you going to do?? disobey her?? tell her she was lying?? no! you'd rather embarrass yourself than do that! prime example is when sinb is making you eat her out 👀 you're doing everything she tells you to do and it feels good but she's telling you you're not doing right (when you most certainly are!!) just to rile you up and make you work your mouth harder :((( she loves doing it bcs it does work and soon enough you have her seeing stars 🤤🤤

i feel like she's also super annoying (lovingly) 😭😭 bratty dom vibes yk?? she has you pinned to the wall but she won't do anything but talk shit 😭 you try to pull her in and she jokingly pulls away or just,, hovers close to your lips, smirking at your impatience,, and you can't even take it up to yourself bcs if you do anything to try and make the first move, sinb fucking skips away, leaving you hot and untouched 😤 super possessive tho, and any ounce of that brat is gone whenever you're at public events with her bcs she's just glaring at everybody who dares to look at your direction... might even mark you up beforehand to make a statement 🫣

in said public events, sinb will not be afraid to touch you inappropriately!! she can't have people thinking you didn't belong to her 😤😤 hands on your hands, thighs, arm—she will literally touch you anywhere as long as it sends a message to everybody else! she does not play about you fr 😭

okay okay but let's be real here she's so good at fucking??? LIKE AS MUCH AS SHE LOVES TEASING YOU she will never not try to make you feel like a princess in bed, bcs you are! you're her princess and you deserve to feel as such!! always hits the right spots, kisses all over your chest and neck, whispering sweet nothings against your skin... her favourite thing is eating you out bcs she can see just how good she's making you feel 👀 eats you out so good that your back is arched and your eyes are rolled to the back of your head and ofc this strokes her ego,, stuffs your cunt with her fingers when you're close, pumping in and out of you at an insane pace and merely watches as you writhed underneath her while your juices spurted out of your pussy,,,

definitely makes you watch while she licks your mess off her fingers 😭 laughing at your red face before being all soft??? hugging you, giggling while peppering your face with kisses??? her aftercare is definitely just cuddling you and making you laugh while watching movies <33

[grimmcheems]

I love them😫🩵

I wish a fandom existed for Ballroom e Youkoso🥲😭I freak out all by myself when there’s a new chapter and am shaking wanting to buy the 12th Vol when it comes out this yr. It feels like literally no one knows this anime/manga and it frustrates me ahHhHhH. I have so much to talk about it but since no one else reads it I feel like I’m just yelling into a void, which makes me want to make a video essay on it so it gets more attention, but I don’t know shit about making videos or essays or editing💀👩🏽‍🦯

I also might’ve accidentally made a vampire!Mako AU?!?! I wanted to draw her doing something violent bc she’s such a cinnamon roll but ended up with her as a Vamp oop. Btw Chinatsu is defending my best boi Tatara against evils(Shizuku💀) imma be honest and say I don’t like her, for several reasons but I won’t get into them🗿 also I absolutely loved Kugimiya’s backstory and design(he has a dump truck in this but it’s the baggy pants I swear😭). Idk what it is but both him and Tatara rly connect to me in a way other characters haven’t been able to. I also love the fact that Kugimiya and Tamie were paired as partners when they are so different from each other, I wish her hair wasn’t so layered and I bet it’s so much harder for her to style it bc of that💀Mako is best girl and Gaju is so stinky for doing her dirty with the whole Shizuku situation😒 if you see this and don’t have any idea who they are then please IM BEGGING YOU TO WATCH THE ANIME. I’m starving out here.

[jakeyt]

if anyone is giving you a hard time about not posting or not writing i will personally beat them up. that person doesn’t know respect or patience. and rushing someone to do something won’t make anything happen. i hope there is no pressure at all to write, art takes time. you deserve the world and adulting gets so hard and busy sometimes it’s hard to do anything you enjoy. anyways… all that being said, happy valentine’s day!! thinking of jake and a cutesy date with him hehehe;)

Nonnie, this message made me feel all of the emotions.

Thank you for being so supportive and sweet amidst some pressure from other sources! There are a few messages in my inbox that I am just choosing not to share due to a) confusion (bc they were sent in before chapter 10 and I waited too long to answer them lol) and b) being written with frustration-laced words over chapter 10 not being posted soon enough.

Your message was exactly what I needed to read. I am so grateful! Thank you, thank you <3 You are so kind and precious and I am blessed by the way you articulated this message -- YOU GET IT. Adulting is ridiculously busy anyways.

And, to make it even better, this season of my life has just been harder than most and has included a lot of literal aching depression (iykyk) and raging anxiety in my personal life (if I'm getting real honest in the chat...).

Saying that, it surely (definitely) means things have been abnormal and stressful. And naturally, when that happens, I turn to my hobbies. My hobbies that make me feel OKAY when otherwise, I don't. So, because of who I am, I write ALL THE TIME to escape reality -- I write so much that I haven't really had time to even read. (Ask anyone in my family, including @joshym...I write all the time.)

And so, I've been leaning on my hobbies -- breathing life through them (bc real life sure ain't letting me breathe enough). So of course, when I get any less-than-kind messages about not updating quickly enough, it just takes away the feeling of "okayness" in the ONE area of my life that I normally feel consistently peaceful in. I love when you guys send in things about the story or even when you ask when an update is coming... HOWEVER, the messages that are specifically targeting how I am not updating speedy enough for your liking... that does tend to rub me the wrong way. :/

SO, again, thank you, Nonnie, for being patient, understanding, and incredible at being a great friend and reader! I love you and appreciate your support more than words <3 <3 <3

Oh, and YOU are the one who deserves the world!!!! All of you beautiful friends and readers of mine who show me patience and unwavering support -- THANK YOU! <3 This story would be nothing without my readers -- I owe it to you all!!!!

[gregoftom]

there's just Something about how greg's constantly asserting himself and being his own advocate for his worth here and that he is deserving of all these higher positions and money and respect…and yet when it comes to tom's affection of him he's completely doubtful

there's not a, 'yes of course he Loves me I deserve to be Loved!'

when tom asks him out, after tom kisses him, a million other times after tom's shown affection for him, greg's always filled with a, 'is this real?' reaction. something he just doesn't have for his up-and-up career status. like, for how awkward he is, he's not shy about pressing to get things.

but Love from tom? it makes him so shy to the point of lack of believing whether it's true, whether he could possibly actually be the recipient of such a thing. he doubts it all.

and even in s4 after they're best friends!!

(and I hope hope hope tom's sticker and double 'I got you,' that was like a cradle, put an end to all that doubt! because what a beautiful end to that arc!!)

hhhhhhhhnnhhf 😩 yeah god it huuuurts and like, you can understand it when you think about greg’s past and how ppl treat him - even ken is neutral at best towards him and he’s the nicest one to him apart from tom lol so it’s no surprise he starts to think he’s unloveable. ppl will just use him and his only worth is what he can give them. his grandpa and mother hold him to an impossible standard in that they’re always shifting the bar, obv more so the former bc we don’t see much w marianne, and act like he’s in the wrong every time. most people come to him when he can give them something, tom is the only exception and even then at least at the start he’s still asking things of him and enjoying the information he can provide. though the difference is tom’s affection is not dependant on it… even if greg wasn’t good at sponging info tom would still love him and keep him around. but greg cannot comprehend that bc why is this time any different? why would someone just… love him, without terms and conditions attached? i think he only starts to realise in 3.09. still not 100% in s4 but i think like, there’s definitely more of a hopefulness that maybe tom means it bc greg tries a lot harder and acts like tom’s literal partner because he wants to be more than just his side piece - he wants to be the sporus who is married to nero. he wants to take care of tom but not in a serving way, in a relationship way. but tbf to him tom is suddenly being cagey and keeping stuff from him and withholding affection and giving him only scraps of info and this rattles greg bc he thought they were progressing? that they were best friends and partners? hell tom acts like his mf husband. and then you’ve got tom and shiv screwing again and on possible reconciliation terms so that probably adds to greg’s fears - it all comes together to shake his faith. he even asks tom in america decides “where we are in terms of us”, referencing matsson and the poor way he treats him but that he likes the trust, which sounds like where his relationship with tom started out and where it has come to and also letting tom know he can trust him, don’t shut me out.

tom is much the same in that he thinks he needs status and power and money to secure greg when greg has genuine affection for him. he doesn’t notice how greg doesn’t pull rank in america decides bc he’s too focused on keeping his position, and later on he’s too set on becoming ceo to realise he’s actually pushing greg away, frightening him into making that call he did to ken in the finale. the fight in the bathroom is the culmination of their frustration in how much they love each other and how the other just doesn’t understand that they do. tom can only see it as mistrust and disloyalty when it was a move for survival and attacks greg. greg can only see tom getting mad at him as ignoring all the hard work and love he has been putting in for him the entire season and that’s why he fights back. it is not fair to him that tom only notices when he does something wrong, when he makes a mistake, not when he does things right, not when he supports and cares for him like an ideal spouse.

i do think the sticker scene was laced with something - it felt different. special. i’ve said before but tom’s forgiveness was not by way of the materialistic this time, he didn’t offer money. he only offered his compassion. he told greg that regardless of his mistakes, he still has him. and greg probably realises then that the reason tom has been acting how he has is bc he’s been fighting for this position so hard to keep greg safe. i think this moment they realise that actually they love each other very much and it’s actually like. for real. greg’s sheer happiness, plus the way he checks tom out again like he has multiple times throughout s4 lol, indicates not only his relief but feeling comfortable and confident enough to act around tom like he has before - like his best friend and partner.

[spearxwind]

been thinking a lot about my different oc worlds recently. ive said before ive got four, but technically it's five if you count extinction.

im gonna put all my thoughts under a readmore bc once again this got insanely long jkllkjjkf. i be rambling

most of my attention has definitely been going into challenger deep the past year (and will likely continue), recently i refurbished hollowridge as well and have had a lot of fun with it (even if i havent drawn much to show for it...)

the other two of the set of four i originally posted about are my agony drive and broken horizon settings. Broken horizon is more of a personal headworld where ive set my dragon ocs, but I have not really been successful with it in terms of like. worldbuilding and crafting a story for it, mostly because there are very few characters in it currently and i struggle with it. But it's the world where cercerion and my sona dima (as an oc) exist. i would love to actually do a better job with it sometime but it currently isnt a huge priority because ive been focused on the other two main ones (but again since its just a personal headworld it literally is just some place i like to mentally hang out and fly around in, im not super bothered by it being undeveloped.)

However we have the two troublemaker worlds now

the agony drive setting has been driving me more than a little nuts because of its whole situation with it. i absolutely adore the characters i have in it, but i have no idea what to do with the world itself. it used to be a joint project so i was extremely limited in the way i could develop it bc i depended on the other individual enjoying the ideas and i did my best to keep it afloat almost being the sole contributor to it, so now that its liberated i just didnt know what to do with it. i do like a bunch of the lore bits i came up with but some part of me is like 'idk if i enjoy this as a world' bc it still feels limited in some way? Another issue is that while hollowridge (previously my horror and slapstick gore setting with demons/angels/magic vibes) was dead in the water, i channeled that violence slapstick demon/magic vibe through TAD, but getting a focus back on hollowridge has kinda just. straight up deleted a bunch of TAD's reason to exist? i dont know if that makes sense

HR isnt really that much slapstick violence because death is final, and TAD is more cartoony in that sense bc death ISNT final which is its main reason to exist (unlimited violent major character death for the funnies), but theres a weird overlap that is keeping me from focusing correctly because it makes my brain go 'you are doing the same thing twice'

I would really really love to actually turn it into something fun and unique (separate from my other worlds) but i really havent been sure how to go about it because of that overlap. i genuinely think its just a problem of 'you have to actually develop the setting to have fun in it' and i just havent been able to do that yet bc i cant decide what i want it to BE. TAD has also never really had a lot of story to begin with so it makes things harder bc the story is the vehicle to explore the world with. its pretty frustrating bc midas set and david are some of my fav ocs ive made and i miss them but god dammit if it isnt hard to actually work with the whole thing....

and last but not least... the fifth one. extinction. a lot of you probably know this one from my comic. if youve been here since like... 2014-2015 (which would be insane) you might remember me beginning to develop that story until it eventually became the comic that is currently sitting unfinished and feels like a huge weight on my shoulders just out of sheer shame

the issue with extinction is that it was a lot of characters that i deeply loved (and still i still deeply love!!) all with fun plotlines, backstories, and a lot of fun tidbits to em that i ended up bending and breaking dozens of times just for the purpose of fitting them into a relatively short story that i could draw out and finish. and more importantly into something i hoped would be handleable instead of spiralling out of control like it had happened before

but what i didnt realize is that by doing so, i "locked" their lore in place into these very small boxes that would fit into a story, and thus i would remove what i had loved about those characters and their interactions that i had come up with years and years ago and a lot of my very very cool ideas for them simply went out the window in favor of .... well i dont. know. but off it went

i live in complete shame for not being able to finish the comic. it genuinely is a huge and extremely heavy weight on my shoulders and this whole thing has prevented me from even thinking of said ocs for years now even though they are some of my oldest and most beloved. saying all of this is not something i take lightly in the least as well

so recently I have been thinking about bringing them back as well... maybe (to the extent that i can... i have a lot of ocs and you guys know i have a lot of bias when drawing faves. so i cant guarantee content but at least i would be able to think about them again).

essentially the same way that i rewrote and got back my old concepts for hollowridge that slapped hard i want to get back my original ideas for extinction that i thought were really cool and just wasnt able to fit into a comic narrative

obviously this would come with a lot of retconning and i know a lot of people will probably not like it if i do it and i think thats something i have to face and learn to live with

but yeah anyways. TLDR is i really want to actually do something proper for TAD but have been having a lot of trouble with it unfortunately, but im working on it. and ive also been feeling rly nostalgic about extinction so you might see the characters again, albeit different in terms of story from what you probably know

[safetycar-restart]

charles clueless puppy dog eyes… always a critical hit on the heart 💔

he is absolutely a proud member of that club hehe not only is he ridiculously affectionate n touchy, he also just can’t get enough of your attention like the spoiled lil princess he is <3 he needs every part of you to be completely focused on him so he can bask in the way you praise him, watch him, and touch him all at once

charles not only having to get himself off on his own, but having to do it without any physical contact at all… oh he’d be a goner for sure. poor baby whines abt how mean you are and can barely get two rocks of his hips in before his voice breaks and tears of frustration spill over his big sweet eyes. and calling him a pretty crier… please that’d be the best way to get that adorable look of confusion on his face bc he doesn’t know whether to cry harder or eat up your praise…and kissing his tears away on top of that might just make him cum right then and there 🥰 suddenly it’s so easy whenever you get involved

This is the absolute PERFECT way to start off soft night oh my god I love it so much. Also remember lads, we have a crybaby!Charles tag now. We need more crybaby content, for all the drivers actually! Where's my crybaby George and crybaby bezz and crybaby fabio and crybaby Oscar and crybaby Esteban? WHERE?

Anyway, on to the actual point:

Firstly, Charles requires all your attention all the time. He can't help it, just can't get enough. He's not too bad when there are other people around, as long as he knows he'll get to have your full attention later and as long as he can always come to cuddles or handholding.

(There's no way you guys can keep your relationship a secret for that very reason, he can't be around others if he can't hold your hand! He must hold your hand! MUST!)

But when it's just the two of you? He must have your full attention cause he's your baby boy and you're his mommy! How dare you focus on literally anything else?

He understands you wanting to do something else, like reading or watching something or doing some work or even showering, but he wants to be involved! He wants to sit with you. He'll happily do his own thing in the same room as you as long as he can see you and knows he can always ask his mommy for a kiss or cuddle.

(Which he does all the time by the way, he'll be scrolling on his phone next to you and then just suddenly turn his phone off and request a forehead kiss which of course he will always get)

And of course he needs time where he's your soul focus. He'll get so sad and confused if you go too long without giving him all your attention, because you're his mommy! He needs his mommy!!

So you always make sure do give him what he needs.

And yeah, it's borderline cruel to make him touch himself while you watch. Because you touch his cock so much better!! How could you make him touch his own cock? Noooo that's not fair!!

He's crying pretty much instantly, cause he's already feeling so subby and needy and now he must touch his own cock. He only gets a few strokes before he loses his rhythm, so overwhelmed and wrecked because it feels so good and he can hear your voice but you aren't touching him and he's crying and he's so confused.

This is exactly where you wanted him of course, because you know that by the end of this there won't be a single thought in his pretty little head, that he'll spend the rest of the evening cuddling against your chest and crying softly, getting all his emotions out and being your good boy.

[reasonablerodents]

mmm tw nsfw

hotch chaining his collar under his desk, telling him to come get his treat

he just whines of course (he knows better than to talk), because his owners cock is just an inch too far for him to reach with his mouth ): hes pulling the chain with every musle in his body but he cannot get far enough.

hotch seems disappointed in him, so hw tries so so hard. he cant even help himself with his paws, cause they are locked securely in leather mittens, restricing his movement. he whines and whines and cries. he just wants to be good.

but hotch just pulls back and stands up.

“how am i supposed to let you have your cock out when you cant even be a good pet? i tried letting you prove yourself.” he says as he reaches for the cage and the key resting on the table.

there are tears in spencers eyes, but he knows its for the better. whatever his master tells him to do, however disgusting, its for the better.

I’m literally screaming and crying rn this is so…. Chefs kiss. I love love love him being set up to fail and getting punished for the inevitable outcome urghhhh <333 Also omg I’ve been soooo missing out with the whole puppy gear thing bc it would make everything so much harder for him without his paws!!

Hotch def just jacks himself off over Spencer’s face afterwards, telling him that he’d be able to help if he’d just tried harder.

Literary crimes under the cut!

It takes him weeks to be unlocked. Hotch keeps giving him chances to prove himself, but he always fails. There’s never a way to win, but he has to try, needs to show how obedient and deserving he is.

When Spencer’s caught in his dog bed with three of his fingers inside himself, grinding his cage into the fabric, Hotch decides to give him another task. If he clearly thinks he can get off like that, then why shouldn’t he? He’s obviously desperate, so it should be easy, even with the cage.

Hotch settles himself down to watch at first, enjoying the noises of frustration when nothing quite works. Spencer’s trying so hard, but the angle’s all wrong and he just can’t get his fingers deep enough for the stimulation he needs. He turns to look at Hotch after a while, whining and thrusting back with a pleading look in his eyes, begging him to help. He could definitely do it with Hotch’s assistance, he’s sure of it.

But when he looks back, Hotch isn’t even looking at him anymore. Instead, he’s turned his attention to a book, completely absorbed in that instead of the display going on by the fireplace. But he hasn’t told Spencer to stop, so he just carries on for what feels like forever, only ever managing to tease himself as his cock tries and fails to harden over and over again, as his the tips of his fingers only ever manage to just about brush past his prostate.

Eventually, Hotch closes his book, setting it down beside him.

“You still haven’t finished?” he asks, and he sounds more like he’s asking if Spencer’s finished sorting witness statements than if he’s managed to make himself cum yet.

Spencer shakes his head desperately as he pounds his fingers into himself. He can’t have his master disappointed with him again. It’s too late though, because Hotch stands up.

“I guess you didn’t need it that badly, did you? Stop squirming around and put your plug back in, puppy, it’s time for bed.”

Hotch gets himself off that night. Spencer, of course, doesn’t. He just curls up on top of the duvet at Hotch’s feet, his cock throbbing with no way to relieve the ache, listening to the sounds of the older man’s hand and his hitching breath.