#It's gonna be interesting though to see if Crocodile can steal that spot or even keep the Number 3 spot for me

[moongothic]

It's so fucking funny though how one stupid ass fan theory made Crocodile go from being just a neat OP character who was maybe in my Top 20 faves before jump directly into the #3 spot out of sheer storytelling potential

But because all of that sudden emotional attachment is based on a fucking fan theory, the second that theory's getting debunked I'm going to end up dropping this binch like

[caydeus]

rules: pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions. don’t cheat. tag some people - tagged by @njess04 thank you for tagging me!! I had a lot of fun with this (*ˊ꒳ˋ*)

One Piece

Demon Slayer

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood

Carole & Tuesday

who is your favourite character in 2? Tanjiro is always #1 but I also adore Kyojuro//

who is your least favourite character in 1? Easily the Celestial Dragons 😂

what is your favourite episode of 4? There’s... too many ohman. It’s a show where every episode is one that I absolutely love.

what is your favourite season of 5? Sadly there’s only one season but I love it regardless

who is your favourite couple in 3? I’m not sure if this is for official couples or not but if not I like GioMis a lot for their dynamic and bond (*ˊ꒳ˋ*); if official, Jonathan and Erina for being absolute sweethearts. (I haven’t gotten past part 5 yet to discover more)

who is your favourite couple in 2? SabiGiyuu

what is your favourite episode of 1? Alright, here’s my essay—// The episode where Luffy defeats Arlong, first meetinf Ace, Luffy beating Crocodile by using his own blood, seeing Water 7 for the first time, Robin saying she wanted to live, Luffy using gear 2nd, Luffy pushing the zombie back into the grave, BinKS’ SAKE, seeing Sabaody for the first time, Luffy punching a celestial dragon, Luffy/Law/Kidd team up, Luffy reuniting with Buggy, Luffy reuniting with Bon Clay, Luffy and his crew crashing the Summit, Luffy and Ace’s team up, Crocodile telling them if they’re gonna protect Luffy they better do it right, Law coming in with the save, EVERY ASL EPISODE, the crew reuniting—// (I’m going to stop here because I’m listing too many hhhhh)

what is your favourite episode of 5? Probably episodes 3, 12-14, 16, 22, and 24.

what is your favourite season of 2? There’s only one season so far and I am thriving off of it

how long have you watched 1? Since it was on 4Kids 😂 Luckily I rewatched it when Funimation got it to erase the terrible 4kids censorship/VA

how did you become interested in 3? I didn’t care for it much until I caught my mom watching Part 3 so I joined her. After that we ended up binging Part 1 & 2, before continuing with 3 & 4.

who is your favourite actor in 4? I realized I just listed non-live action shows ahah but I love them so much// Character wise, Edward Elric 4ever

which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5? Oh no. One Piece always has top spot in my heart but slowly Demon Slayer is climbing up the ladder exceptionally fast 😔🤘Carole & Tuesday is also a heartwarming show to choose from.

which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3? 1 because it has over 900 episodes oof.

if you could be anyone from 4, who would you be? Den. I get to stay home and be fed all day.

would a crossover between 3 and 4 work? The very thought makes me laugh because I can imagine Al’s stand being his suit of armor’s appearance

pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple? Nami and Carina. Even though she’s a film character, I can see a pair of girlfriends out stealing together

overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5? Both are good in their own way. Jojo is more action pack and character driven which is something I enjoy while Carole & Tuesday is more casual with a pair of girls who just wants to make music together.

which has better theme music, 2 or 4? 2 absolutely. The soundtrack feel incredibly well executed when introducing new threats, comical scenes or warm hearted moments. Of course, one can never forget Tanjiro’s song playing for the first time with vocals.

[detectivejigsawpines]

A Pinesmas Carol-part 4 (Truth is averted by trouble)

I have never been to Piedmont; I apologize for any misrepresentation that might occur.

In Ford’s experience with children who were between the ages of two and six, most of your time with them was spent saying, “Put that down!” or “Don’t touch that!” or “Go to your room until you can behave!”

Admittedly, he had not spent a lot of time with children of any age since going to college, but from what he saw of other people who interacted with children he had assumed that was the gist of it.  However, once Xander warmed up to his uncles Ford was reminded that there was much more involved.

Mainly this came from watching the boy’s interaction with Stan.  Once the house was decorated and dinner eaten, Xander immediately grabbed Stan’s hand and tugged him into the living room, asking for him to read his favorite book.  Stan only put up a token resistance before making himself comfortable on the sofa, with the kid tucked in his lap, and began reading Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile, complete with voices and occasional dry commentary on the cheesier sections, which made Xander giggle even as he protested that “that’s not what it says, Uncle Stan!”

Ford, feeling that he should be doing something to pull his weight around here, offered to wash the dishes; Rebecca was more than happy to allow this, turning to Shermie and commenting dryly that he could learn a lot from his little brother.  Shermie just rolled his eyes and kissed her on the cheek, before they went and joined Stan and Xander in the living room.

By the time Ford had finished washing the dishes and stacking them in the drying rack the counter was damp with water and soap suds, so of course he had to clean that up, and then he wiped down the table and swept the floor, especially getting the spot where Xander had sat because he’d spilled quite a bit of food there.  It was far more fervor than he ever showed in cleaning up back home, but it seemed only fair to make things a little easier for their hosts when they were having to feed and take care of two extra people.

He was startled out of his examination of the garbage disposal (and his thoughts on possibly making a few improvements to it as one of his presents to the family) by Stan’s voice saying, “Oi, Poindexter, someone wants ta say goodnight!”

Ford whirled around and saw Stan there, holding Xander’s hand and looking at him expectantly.  He blinked.

“Oh.  Um.” The hand that was within their line of sight started to slide into his pocket.

But then, unexpectedly, Xander rushed up to him and grabbed it.

Ford tried to jerk away at once, but the boy had a surprisingly tight grip.  He examined Ford’s hand, tapping each of his fingers once, then twice, mouth moving quietly and little forehead scrunched up in concentration.  Then at last he looked up at Ford, and said with a delighted smile, “You do have six fingers!”

Ford gave a slow nod.  “That is indeed the case.”

Xander finally let go, and held up his own hand.  “High six?”

He glanced over his shoulder at Stan, with a ‘Did I do that right?’ expression.  Stan gave him an approving nod.

Ford, who to his surprise had acquired something in his eye for a second, tapped his hand lightly against the boy’s.  “High six.”

Xander grinned, and finally allowed his mother to come and shoo him off to bed.

****

“So,” Stan asked when it was just grown-ups, “anyone up for some poker?”  He produced a deck of cards with a grin.

Ford gave him a disapproving look.  “Is that your marked set?”

Stan quickly closed his hand over the cards.  “What are you, a cop?”

“Stanley, shame on you!”  Rebecca put her hands on her hips.

“...I was only gonna suggest playin’ for gelt.”

“We have our own cards, if you don’t mind.”  Shermie went to retrieve them.

Even without using rigged cards, Stan was still the champion of the poker table.  As they played, they talked, filling Rebecca in on what life in Gravity Falls was like for them (still using the abbreviated version), and discussing what their plans were for their stay here.  Shermie hadn’t planned on their doing anything big, just sticking around the house and catching up for the most part, but Xander had wanted to go see the lights on Oakland Avenue tomorrow; would they be okay with that?

Neither of them objected, so after the final hand they retired for the night.

After changing into pajamas, Ford tucked himself into bed-Stan was right, these were quite comfortable-and tried to adjust himself to the new environment.

It was strange to hear the sound of cars driving by on the street below, and see lights through the window.  Not to mention there was no snow down here in California, and no need to worry about gnomes rooting around in the trash cans.  All the sounds were wrong.

Even though the bed was perfectly soft, for a while Ford was unable to sleep, trying to adjust to this change in nighttime sounds.

And then Stan started snoring.

Contrary to what you might expect, the noise was actually...very comforting, in a way Ford hadn’t been expecting.

It was loud, yes, and rumbled in a way that made him surprised it wasn’t rattling the window the way it had the car’s windows on the way here.  But it was also familiar, and reminded him of falling asleep to the noise for years in high school, so before he knew it his eyes were drooping and his thoughts turning to snowdrop glorgle murg zzzzzzz…

****

He woke up before Stan-situation normal.  What was less normal was that it was at least an hour after sunrise, and he was actually feeling like he’d gotten a full eight hours.  But hey, it was a holiday season-he’d allow it.

With a yawn Ford got up and headed for the bathroom to wash and dress; when he came back in, though, Stan was still asleep.  And when he saw him, an unusual spark of mischief rose up in his heart, so he came and crouched down next to his brother’s bed.

“Stan-ley…”

“Mmph.”

“Stannn-leyyy...”

“MMMPH.”

“Stanley, I think I locked the keys in the car by accident.”

“Wha-?!”  Stan’s eyes flew open, squinting blearily at the morning light.

Ford smirked at him.

“Knew that’d wake you up.”

Stan growled something unprintable and smacked him with the extra pillow that beds in guest rooms always seemed to feel a bizarre need to have, before twisting onto his side.  “Go ‘way Sixer ‘fore I kill you.”

“We have plans today, remember?”  Ford made no move to leave his twin’s bedside.  “C’mon, get up-Xander’s probably waiting on us.”

“Rrrr.  Usin’ my own nephew against me-that’s low, even for you.”  But Stan twisted and sat up, scratching his chest and stomach, and finally slid out from under the covers.

Xander was indeed waiting; he was already wearing his bright red jacket, and as the grown-ups finished breakfast, he seemed to practically teleport from place to place in his excitement.

Once they were outside, Stan asked, “Wanna ride on my shoulders, kid?”

“Yeah!”  At once he was standing in front of Stan with his arms held out.  It required a little more maneuvering than that, but soon he was perched on Stan’s shoulders, and Stan was stomping down the street with his legs and arms stiff, and saying in a robotic voice, “FEAR US, HUMANS.  WE ARE HERE TO DESTROY ALL IN OUR PATH. BEEP BOOP,” while Xander held onto his head and squealed with laughter.

“Stan!  You’re going the wrong way!  Oakland is this way!” Shermie called after him.

Stan paused for a second, then turned and robot-walked towards them.

“I.  KNEW.  THAT.”

Ford rolled his eyes.

****

The lights weren’t the most fancy decorations ever, but Xander loved them.  He and Stan chattered happily to each other as they walked, looking in the windows at the merchandise and pointing out their favorite things.  Ford hoped Stan wouldn’t try to steal anything, and turned his attention to Shermie and Rebecca, who were walking hand in hand.

He tried to think of an acceptable topic of conversation.  They’d already discussed his and Stan’s work last night, and asking how Shermie’s family was doing was a little idiotic under the circumstances.  That left...um…

He was still searching for something when Shermie asked, “So, you wanna tell us how it happened?”

Ford blinked.  “Huh?”

“You and Stan didn’t communicate with each other for five years, and suddenly you’re sharing a house and from what I can see you’re both happy again.  There’s gotta be a story about that.”

Ford felt his stomach churn.  “I thought Mom talked to you.”

“Yeah, and she says she doesn’t fully understand what happened, she’s just glad you two have stopped fighting.”

Crap.  Crap crap CRAP.   Ford felt his palms starting to sweat.  “It’s...complicated.”

Now they were both looking at him with interest and that was making it so much worse, how exactly did he explain that Stan had been told by a fortune-teller that he, Ford, was going to destroy the world by making friends with an evil yellow triangle if Stan didn’t make up with him without sounding like he was describing an elaborate television show for kids or something?

“I-um-”

Suddenly, Stan and Xander were by their sides, and Stan was handing the boy off to his parents with a “Sorry, kid, but I gotta put you down; my shoulders are killin’ me.”

Ford breathed a small sigh of relief...until he saw the look on Stan’s face.

His eyes looked frightened-not like they were when they got that call from Ma, and it was just not wanting to deal with her wrath, like a real , genuinely worried about something big kind of frightened.  He was trying to act casual, but his shoulders were ducked down, and it almost felt like he was trying to hide behind Ford, which completely upset the normal paradigm.

“Everything okay?” Ford asked, looking at his brother.

“Yes.  No. Maybe.”  Stan’s words were clipped, but soft-Shermie and Rebecca were busy talking to their son about something, so for the moment their conversation was going unnoticed.  “It depends.”

“...On what?”  Ford’s inner radar was blaring louder by the second.

“I...I think I saw someone in one o’ the shops who could be trouble.  And he might not’ve seen me, but I’m not sure, and if he did we’re screwed if he figures out where we’re living right now, so just remain calm and don’t go drawing any attention.”  His eyes darted around, scanning the groups of people out and about right now. “And hope he didn’t bring the rest of the gang here.”

“What’s he look like?”  Ford kept his voice as soft as Stan’s.

“Kind of a big guy, blond, wearing a jean jacket over a black shirt.  He calls himself Archer. And he doesn’t like me much.”

“How much?”  Ford didn’t see anyone matching that description, but right now that didn’t prove anything.

Stan grimaced.  “...Not here. When we get home.”

“When we get home what?” Shermie asked.

Both of them winced.

Their brother frowned.  “Guys? What’s the matter?”

“...It’s a long story,” Stan said.  “But we should probably go home soon, as calmly and normally as possible.”

So much for a nice, peaceful vacation, Ford thought.

[howtohero]

#022 Animal Sidekicks

Animals are great! They’re cuddly (like walruses) they’re loyal (like ants) they’re eager to help (sloths) and they can do so many more things than humans can do! (Octopuses/octopods/octopi/octopersons for example can easily open jars.) So it’s no surprise that many superheroes take on animal sidekicks or otherwise enlist the aid of animals in their crusade against crime. 

Now I know what you’re thinking (not in the sense that I can read minds just in the sense that I feel like we’ve gotten to know each other pretty well by this point). “Zach, (my name is Zach by the way, nice to meet you.) didn’t you very recently go on a rant about the dangers of child sidekicks?” And to that I respond: Well I guess it really depends on your definition of recently, that post was from like two months ago… Also yeah I did, but since when do you guys listen to me? Also, I’ve met tons (thousands) of parrots that are quantifiably smarter than most human children. Animals are just better sidekicks.

But having an animal sidekick can be tricky. Training animals is hard, getting them to productively help you fight crime is probably even harder. You’re going to want to get a professional animal handler or trainer of zookeeper in your super-squad, to help with the handling, training and zookeeping of the animals. Especially if you manage to find some neat super-powered animals. Studies have shown that if an animal can shoot lasers from its eyes, ears, throat or nose it is approximately 99% harder to train/handle/zookeep than regular non-laser-shooting animals. The last thing you want is to get mauled to death by your own tiger sidekick (or get lasered in half by your own tiger sidekick.) Well, actually, I guess the last thing you’d want is for the entire universe to be utterly annihilated because you didn’t have a (laser) tiger sidekick. It’s a tradeoff, you’re gonna have to choose one or the other at some point. Hard choices like this are part and parcel with being a superhero.

Now, if you’re one of those superheroes with neato burrito animal related powers, such as being able to talk to animals or being able to control animals with your mind or being able to turn into animals or just being able to do really good birdcalls, you’ll probably have better luck working side by side with an animal in a fight against roadside bandits or cybernetically enhanced duck hunters. Animals are actually pretty chill once you break through that language barrier. They’re actually also for the most part really interested in protecting the world from evil. Obviously there are some that aren’t and of course every species and every individual is different but once you’re able to talk to animals you should have no trouble finding a few who are ready, willing, and able to join you.

An advantage animal sidekicks have over regular lame ol’ human sidekicks is that animals often have their own innate special abilities. Web spinning, powerful bites, being able to jump incredible distances, flight, the ability to survive without oxygen, some animals can do some really incredible things. Additionally, whereas human superheroes wear loud costumes and just overall make a huge spectacle wherever they go, animals are masters of stealth and infiltration. Nobody is suspicious when they see random animals walking around. More or less. Don’t send like a polar bear or a crocodile into a super-secret supervillain meet and greet, unless you know an evil polar bear or crocodile whose place and invitation they can steal. 

Animals are also often connected to a network of their fellow animals. Befriending one ant can get you an entire colony. Teaming up with a prairie dog can lead to an entire underground system of tunnels for you to use. (Also fun science fact: prairie dogs are hella fierce, don’t mess with prairie dogs, they’re always up for a fight. Plus, they’ve got one of the most complex animal languages out there so befriending them can be considered an even greater achievement relatively speaking.) It’s a well-documented fact that dogs often convene to play poker, you get one of those doggos on your side, you’ve undoubtedly got the whole poker squad. 

Animal sidekicks can also go a long way in generating goodwill in the public eye. Especially if your animal sidekick is conventionally cute. It’s just good PR. Children who you’re trying to rescue might be afraid of a person dressed in full body armor that they stole from a dark mage on a really crazy time travel adventure, but they’ll sure as heck be less afraid of you if you’ve got a kitty with a wizard’s hat by your side or a hamster wearing tiny hamster armor. Another added perk of having an animal sidekick is that you can dress them up in adorable little costumes. For the sake of Justice. And cuteness. And yo once you get that pet all trained to do cool superhero stuff you can win big money at animal shows. For the sake of Justice. And for buying cool stuff. 

You should be forewarned, (I’m for sure gonna make more bad puns with this word… furwarned. There we go.) there are also certain complications that can stem from having an animal sidekick. For example, if you have an animal sidekick you’re definitely going to have a classic brain-swap adventure at some point. It’s just one of those things. Like freaky furday. So be prepared to live life through the eyes of your animal sidekick. Another complication is, of course, as always, the secret identity dilemma. Your super-pet will almost definitely know your secret identity. Like it’s an animal. It is dependent on you, you need to take it home with you when you’re not superheroing. You need to be a responsible pet owner. Well relatively responsible. It could be argued that bringing your pet to fight supervillains is already irresponsible. Uh… Anyway, you just need to be careful about keeping your four-legged sidekicks away from supervillains who can read the minds of animals. Or get them cute little mind-reading-deflector helmets (as seen on tv!) 

You also may receive complaints from animal rights activists. To avoid sticky situations like that and to avoid actually abusing your animals, we really do urge you find some way of communicating with your animal buddy to make sure they’re all cool and consenting with the notion of kicking bad guy butt. (Also while we’re on the subject a quick word about certain so called animal rights activist groups. PETA is terrible. They’ve been known to kidnap pets and euthanize them and they’ve also been known to fund arsonists and extremist groups. So keep them away from your super-pets and your regular pets.)

All in all though an animal sidekick can be your greatest asset in the field. If you have their back they’ll have yours. They’re beloved by adults and children alike and even some supervillains have been known to have a soft spot for animals. Animal sidekicks have shown to be some of the most brave, noble and altruistic heroes out there. Get yourself a animal sidekick and you’ve got yourself a valuable companion for life.