#It's complicated

[nell0-0]

I was just having a bit of fun with incorrect quotes stuff and. well-

Look, do I love Fi? Yes.

Do I think Mask would be a tad salty and sensitive about that specific subject? Also yes.

[ruubesz-draws]

Godzilla (and co.) in jail :)

It feels nice to draw Rodan and Anguirus again :'))

[tangledinink]

What's the twins relationship with Tigerclaw like (I see that warriors reference, I see you)

it's complicated. [ ✩ the gemini ✩ ]

[movie-robotnik-positivity]

Big fan of how "Dark Beginnings" portrayed Team Dark. They're not exactly a team, just three people with similar goals who keep finding each other because of those goals.

They're not "friends" the way Team Sonic are friends, but there's an undeniable trust there.

[tealvenetianmask]

More about Blitz and anger . . .

Anger is a super stigmatized emotion. That's for a reason- it's powerful. When we see it from other people it's usually externalized- it's ugly, aggressive, shows up in abusive situations- it sometimes leads to violence. But when we talk about righteous anger, or the anger of marginalized people, we sometimes praise it. That's because anger can be empowering too.

I want to talk about how Blitz's anger, while it's also destructive at times, has empowered him.

Personal note: when I was a kid, I was yelled at frequently by my mother. The house I grew up in was a 60's rancher with a long hallway in the center, and she would chase me down the hallway yelling. As I grew older, I learned to yell back. Feeling anger and externalizing it didn't make the hurt go away, and it didn't solve our problems- it turned us into two people yelling at each other- but it did make me feel less helpless.

So let's look at Blitz as a kid. In addition to guilt tripping him, his father tells him that "there are scarier things," than stealing from a wealthy and (literally) powerful family, and he doesn't disagree. I think this screenshot captures their relationship pretty well.

We see moments of defiance from Blitz though, even as he's very much under Cash's control. Georgia Dow pointed this out in her video about how Blitz learned resilience in his childhood. Here, have some defiant expressions:

Notice Blitz's eyebrows here, mirroring his father. I suspect that as he grew older, Blitz learned to push back harder, to argue, maybe even to yell. He learned to channel his anger- at being used, diminished, devalued (very likely yelled at and probably physically hurt too) into expression, into fight (I don't picture him physically fighting Cash, but the guy has fight in him- of all kinds).

He learned to feel angry at the world and express that too- for treating imps as lower than other demons, for limiting his options in life, for filling the road to success with exploitation (as we see in the Mammon flashbacks with Fizz).

Speaking of that flashback, he's very ready, as a teenager, to express anger exactly when he needs to for the purpose of protecting a loved one.

Fast forward to the present.

Blitz's anger helps him stand up for the people he cares about- see Fizz in the present at Mammon's show but also Moxxie in Spring Broken.

It helps make him good at his job too. When we see him fight, he doesn't tend to seem all out enraged, but he's super determined and all in. He's at home in a conflict. When he's doing his best fighting, we see a mix of the "angry" facial expressions and pure confidence.

Anger also helps him manage a lot of difficult emotions. Disclaimer (and idea I'll get back to soon)- I said manage, not deal with.

When he interacts with Verosika and with Robo Fizz early in season 1, there's genuine underlying pain from how the relationships with Verosika and the real Fizz ended, but he channels that into anger. The anger makes him take action (Good action? Eh. But still action- he's not crying on his couch.) rather than get consumed by more painful emotions. He's able to keep going.

It also gets in his way, even as he uses it as a coping mechanism. Is his anger at Muffy and the Karen in the doctor's office understandable as he's dealing with his frustration about the inaccessibility of healthcare for Loona and his worries about losing Stolas? Yes. Is it helpful? No, probably not.

It isn't useful with Stolas either. Stolas is this person who's kind and beautiful and quirky and able to match his wit, and who Blitz has grown genuine feelings for, but who is also deeply entwined in the unfairness in Hell's society that Blitz has grown to resent throughout his life- AND Stolas unknowingly participates in some very familiar microaggressions himself.

Blitz channels a whole range of complicated emotions- love, fear, despair at the thought that he isn't loved back- all into anger because he HAS been wronged and his world IS unfair, and anger is COMFORTABLE because anger is ACTIVE, and with it he doesn't have to just let things happen to him!

So we end up back here.

[brokentrafficknight]

[probablybadrpgideas]

Maybe the real mimics were the friends we made along the way.

­

[the-nothing-maker]

Home is where the heart is

(Alastiel is a vampire lord NPC from @luposlipaphobya's D&D campaign, Une Cour de Chair et de Charme!)

[megalony]

It's Complicated- Part 2

Thank you all for the superb feedback on the first part of this Evan Buckley series I am so pumped to keep writing this. I hope you all like this next part, any feedback would be huge.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@butlegendsneverdie@langdonzvoid@jennyggggrrr@rogmeddows@radiob-l-a-hblah@rogertaylorsbitontheside@chlobo6@rogertaylors-lipgloss@sj-thefanthefan@omgitsearly@luckytrashgooprebel@scarsout@deaky-with-a-c@killer-queen-ofrhye@bluutac@vousmemanqueez-blog@jonesyaddiction@milanosaurus@httpfandxms@saint-hardy@7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls@mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me  @hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@noonenuts@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @topguncultleader @amberpanda99 @yslvtre

Series Taglist: @itsmytimetoodream @xceafh @senjoritanana @anea08

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Series Masterlist

Summary: Things start to get tricky when Evan falls in love with his best friend's sister. It causes complications within the team. And things only start to get worse when an accident occurs.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Evan dragged his eyes away from his coffee cup and glanced over his shoulder towards the sofa where (Y/n) was sitting. His lips pressed into a thin line and they shared a worried look between them, silently deciding who would be best to go and answer the door and to hold off another argument, Evan got up and trudged towards the door. He tried not to run, to slow down and not look too eager or panicked and worried, but he knew his expression would give him away.

A spark of hope flickered to life in Evan's chest when he swung the front door open and saw Eddie there, waiting as patiently as ever as if he didn't actually want to come inside.

He had his hands stuffed into his pockets and his chin tilted up, but his eyes were glanced down. He still wouldn't look Evan in the eyes and that made his shoulders slump and made his stomach fill up with nerves.

"Buck," Eddie ran a hand over his jaw while his other hand stayed clenched in a fist in his pocket. He eased past Evan and paced into the living room, sitting down on the armchair across from (Y/n). "Nice to see you both dressed this time," He couldn't help himself. Despite the look he received from his sister who clenched her jaw and bristled in her seat.

"Lose the attitude, Edmundo." (Y/n) bit back as she folded her arms over her chest and curled her legs up beneath her on the sofa.

"What? Was I not supposed to be surprised when I found you in bed the other day? I wasn't exactly expecting to find you up there." Eddie waved his hand towards the stairs and tensed his neck when he looked over at his sister. His eyes were focused in on her so much that he didn't notice Evan gingerly sit down on the other side of the sofa, closest to Eddie like a child walking in on an argument.

"Well I wasn't waiting for you, was I? I didn't know you were coming over-"

"Clearly. Or you would have hid from me." His fingers dragged through his hair, toussling the curls and spiking them up in the middle of his head out of nervous habit. "When were you going to tell me?"

"Next week." Evan chipped in, clasping his hands together between his thighs as he hunched forward and tensed his shoulders. He didn't like this tension. These were the two most important people in his life and they were all stuck in a tricky situation. "We were gonna ask you round and tell you over dinner, hoping to soften the blow."

(Y/n) didn't like the cynical laugh her brother emmitted or the way he threw his head back like Evan had told the funniest joke he had ever heard.

"Yeah, cos this is just perfect," He waved his finger between the pair of them while his knee started to jutter up and down, banging into his elbow every now and then. "I asked you not to get involved with (Y/n)," The hurt in Eddie's eyes took Evan by surprise and he leaned back into the sofa, slouching down like he was giving in.

When Evan dared to slide his left hand across the sofa to hold (Y/n)'s thigh, he froze when Eddie noticed the action and raised a brow like a school teacher. The look made Evan shrink down further and sigh through his nose.

"And I've told you I'm sorry. Eddie I can't keep apologising, I knew you wouldn't be happy but I couldn't help myself, are you happy now? You asked me and I ignored you." There was nothing else Evan could say. He couldn't keep saying how sorry he was because it was wearing thin and the more Eddie heard it, the less likely he was to believe him. Evan tried in the beginning, he tried to be friendly with (Y/n) but keep a respectful distance.

It didn't work.

She was like a drug Evan just had to take. He had to be close to her, he had to touch her and hold her and have her and possess her wholeheartedly. There was no other way around it and deep down, he always had Eddie in the back of his mind and knew what he was doing, betraying his best friend. Evan couldn't help himself.

"And I was the last person to find out, that's what hurts more. Neither of you had the decency to talk to me, you didn't tell me you were moving in with him you just went ahead and did it anyway. You would have killed me if I left Texas with Chris and didn't tell you."

"That's different and you know it; I wanted to get out of Texas just as much as you did."

Texas was a different state, all the way across the country. (Y/n) didn't want to stay at home with their parents anymore and when Eddie said where he was moving to, (Y/n) wanted to go with him. She found herself a job and an apartment and travelled down with Eddie and Chris, never looking back. She was closer to Eddie than her two older sisters and LA was somewhere to have a fresh start and a new lease of life that was truly her own.

All she had done was move apartments, not to a different state. But (Y/n) would always admit that she should have told Eddie about the relationship first before moving in with Evan. They got too caught up in their relationship and being together to think about the consequences of doing everything secretly.

"Well judging by the fact I haven't heard from ma or papi, you haven't told them anything either. Are you gonna hide this from them too? You know what he'll say." Eddie raked his fingers through his hair again and took to pulling at the short strands at the back of his head.

He looked between (Y/n) and Evan, watching with a glimmer of satisfaction when (Y/n) shrunk back in her seat and pulled her arms tighter around her middle. While Evan looked between them both like he was missing something and it made Eddie grin.

"You thought my reaction was bad, wait til she tells our parents. I hope you know what you've done Buckley, you'll have to marry her now."

"Eddie!"

(Y/n) uncurled her legs and slammed them down on the floor as she sat bolt upright on the sofa, glaring daggers at her brother who shot her the exact same look back while he stood up to stretch and calm down. Her hands gripped the edge of the sofa and when (Y/n) dared to look to her right, she saw Evan's pale complexion and the confusion plastered across his face.

"It's the truth. When Shannon got pregnant I married her a month later to keep everyone happy. Did you even think if Buck would do that? Is this a fling for you Buck or are you gonna stick this out, hm?"

"Eddie for God's sake-"

"No. Buck has to tell me what his plan is here, he's got you pregnant for fuck's sake and you've not even been with him a year. So are you serious about this Buck, about her?" Eddie turned, planting his hands on his hips and cocking a hip out to the side as he waited impatiently for a response.

For the last three days, Eddie had been going through everything in his mind and he had come up with all sorts of scenarios and none of them ended well.

When he and Shannon found out about Chris, Eddie proposed immediately both because he loved her and because it was the only outcome that would happen in his family. Marriage came first, children came second. They needed stability to have a child and Eddie was in the army, he needed to marry Shannon in case he didn't come back from his tour.

Their family was hard, jumbled and a mess. Their parents were strict and harsh, they wouldn't agree or accept (Y/n) having a baby if she wasn't married and when they knew she hadn't been with Evan for long, they would not take this lightly.

Eddie had to know if Evan was serious about his sister or not. He had to know if he needed to worry that Evan had asked her to move in for the wrong reasons. If Evan was going to stick by (Y/n) and the baby or if he wasn't thinking about this as a long term situation. If that was the case, Eddie would blow a fuse and explode on his best friend.

Eddie's lips pressed into a very thin line and his chin tilted upwards, as did his brows when Evan suddenly got up from the sofa. He thought for a moment that Evan was going to walk out of his own flat in anger or a sudden burst of panic, but he didn't. Instead, he took three daring steps forward until he was standing right in front of Eddie, standing an inch taller than him.

His shoulders were squared out and as straight as a ruler, his hands were balled up into fists at his sides and his head was tilted at an angle. But it was the look in Evan's eyes that almost set Eddie off balance. He'd never seen Evan with something akin to danger and rage in his eyes before.

Evan was a calm, boysterous soul, not an explosive one.

"If you have to ask me, then you really don't know me as well as you think you do." His voice was as grating as gravel on the ground and his thick words left an air of tension surrounding them.

Evan was at the point of being enraged right now. He let Eddie push him, punch him and shout at him at the station and he was more than willing to let Eddie get everything off his chest and vent. But he wouldn't sit there and be accused of being with (Y/n) purely for the sex or the fun of secrecy.

If Eddie had to ask Evan whether he was going to stand by (Y/n), then he truly didn't know Evan at all and that stung worse than a knife in the heart.

His world had changed since (Y/n) walked into his life. Now, his world revolved solely around her, she was the sun and Evan was the Earth, unable to do anything but circle around her running himself ragged around the one thing that kept him from fading away.

"I love her. I love her more than you clearly think I do and I'd marry her tomorrow if she'll have me." Evan let his eyes dart across to (Y/n) but he couldn't look at her for long in case his bottle suddenly disappeared and she made him weak at the knees. When he looked back at Eddie, he acted on a rush of adrenaline and pushed him back a step. "So don't you dare stand there and act like I don't give a fuck about her."

***

"He still hasn't answered me back yet," (Y/n) allowed herself to look away from the road for a split second so she could glance across at Evan.

Eddie had left their apartment rather quickly yesterday and he hadn't answered any of (Y/n)'s calls this morning. She was starting to fret that things weren't on as level ground as they believed after yesterday. She thought the air had been cleared and Eddie would take a little while longer to relax and come to terms with things, and then they would move forward.

She didn't want him to keep on ignoring her, not when they normally spoke to each other every day. (Y/n) wanted things to settle back down, she didn't want to feel so anxious every second of the day, wondering if Eddie was ever going to forgive her and if their relationship would go back to normal.

"He'll be cooling off, baby don't worry he won't be mad with you, it's me he's pissed at." Evan reached out and curled his hand around her upper thigh, squeezing gently while he leaned his head back against the headrest and looked across at her.

He knew Eddie wasn't as angry at (Y/n) as he was at Evan. He felt like Evan had betrayed him, that he'd gone behind his back and it was as if Evan had seduced (Y/n) rather than fallen in love with her. He wasn't as annoyed with (Y/n) for hiding the relationship like he was at Evan and as much as it was irritating, Evan would rather be at the brunt end of Eddie's wrath rather than (Y/n).

"I know, but I don't like it. And I need to know if I'm picking Chris up tomorrow or not and he won't talk to me."

She could feel her stomach igniting with worry already and every time adrenaline pumped through her stomach and chest, she felt sick. She had to know that everything was okay between them so she could calm down and keep focused. And (Y/n) usually picked Chris up in the afternoon's on a Thursday and Friday and she needed to double check that was still happening.

"I'll try and call him if you promise to stop panicking."

(Y/n) pursed her lips and nodded, feeling a different kind of adrenaline spark through her when Evan leaned over and peppered a kiss against her neck. He squeezed her thigh again and grazed his teeth against her skin before he pulled back and dug out his phone.

He highly doubted Eddie would answer him if he wasn't answering (Y/n), but Evan would do anything to try and calm her down. He knew her anxiety would fly if this mess continued and he also knew her anxiety mixed with morning sickness was starting to drain her.

Evan kept his hand on (Y/n)'s thigh and started to glide his thumb up and down the inside of her leg while he clicked Eddie's contact and waited to see if he would answer or not.

Anxiety and adrenaline both sparked up in (Y/n)'s stomach when Evan's hand glided higher up her thigh and gave a sharp squeeze when he sat forward.

"Eddie? Hey, it's me," Evan managed a grin and looked over at (Y/n), surprised, relieved and confused all at once. He wasn't sure why Eddie picked up on the first call when he had left all (Y/n)'s calls to go to voicemail. Maybe it was the topic of their parents that was making Eddie ghost his sister. (Y/n) had said she didn't want to tell their parents, at least not yet and she didn't want to do it alone.

The last thing Eddie wanted was to explain to their parents that someone he worked with, someone a few years older than (Y/n), had fallen for her. Gotten her to move in with him and now had got her pregnant too. It would cause everyone a headache that they all wanted to avoid.

"Yeah… no we're heading to see Maddie, but (Y/n) was-"

Whatever Evan was about to say got cut off.

His hand tightened around his phone which smashed into his ear and got caught between his head and the window when an oncoming car swerved into their lane. Hitting them head on.

Evan wasn't sure whether the expletives and curse words actually left his lips or if they were just swirling around his mind that was racing faster than the speed of light. Pain bolted up the back of his neck, ignited in his forehead, burst in his left hand that was next to the window and shockwaves surged through his chest.

He could feel the car moving, turning and spinning and the violent motion clawed a guttural scream from the back of Evan's throat that bounced around the walls and echoed back to him.

It felt like he had blacked out, maybe for a few seconds, maybe a little longer. His vision stayed as dark as the sky at midnight with only a few flickers of light blotching behind his eyelids, resembling twinkling stars. He could feel every inch of pain in his body, he could sense the car had stopped moving and he could hear a car horn, a fractured, broken radio and something else that he couldn't quite place.

Nothing came back into motion until voices suddenly started to make sense in Evan's ears and he realised he must have blacked out for a lot longer than he thought when the car horn was replaced by the very familiar sound of sirens. He could distinctly hear a firetruck, a police siren and an ambulance or two.

How long had be blacked out for them all to arrive?

A groan left Evan's lips as he blinked once, twice, five and then ten times before he could finally see instead of just hear and feel.

He could see faces glaring at him through the cracked windscreen. Two people in florescent jackets were peering in at him and he could hear a voice on his right. Someone was at the other door. When Evan let his head loll back against the headrest, he glanced his eyes to the left to see why his hand felt like it was on fire.

"Fuck!"

His left hand had gone through the window.

Deep down, Evan knew he shouldn't have moved. He knew it would be best to wait for assistance to safely remove his hand from the window. There was glass imbedded in his knuckles, his fingers and his wrist was caught on a particularly sharp piece of glass. But Evan couldn't wait, he wanted to move.

A roaring growl rutted through the air when he slowly dragged his hand back against the glass until he could drop it limply on his lap.

He was exhausted. Moving that little bit had taken all of his energy, or maybe it was the blood leaving his hand that was making him tired.

Now that his hand was no longer an obstacle in the way, someone wrenched the passenger door open and crouched down beside him. He elbowed their advance to try and tilt his head from side to side and he weakly slapped them when they tried to put him in a neck brace.

(Y/n). Shit. Shit. Shit. She's in the car too.

"Get off… baby, oh fuck," Evan unclipped his belt and leaned forward, slumping his left arm on the dashboard to hold himself up so he could turn to the right and try and see (Y/n). His mind was foggy, his vision wasn't perfect and his head was pounding, but he was conscious enough to remember and realise that he hadn't been the one driving the car.

She was slumped down in her seat, her head slanted to the side towards Evan just like she was asleep on the sofa, about to fall on him.

"Sir, can I please assess you-"

"Buck! Buck what the fuck's going on?!"

Evan fumbled his right hand around his lap and looked down until he found his phone. The screen had a crack in the right hand corner, but somehow he hadn't lost signal and the call hadn't ended.

Had Eddie stayed on the line all this time?

Gripping the phone tightly in his trembling fingers, Evan thrust the phone to the firefighter he loosely recognised as someone from the 221 team. He was a bit younger than Evan and he was a medic, Evan was sure of that. He had seen this guy talking to Hen a few times when they were joined up on callouts, but he didn't know his name.

"Talk… tell him w-what happened, please." Evan shook the phone until the other man took it from him and tried to calm Eddie down who was now screaming so loudly Evan could still hear him as clear as day.

Evan's eyes looked back at (Y/n) just as she seemed to be starting to come back around. He took her hand when it started to move, wavering about like she was blind and trying to find him. As soon as he squeezed her hand, she started to cry. Her eyes were clamped shut but tears were falling down her smoke-ridden face and sobs and spit foamed at her lips as she started to shake.

She tried to move her head until the medic held her head in place against the headrest and was quick to get a neck brace clipped around her. Trying to explain that she could have nerve damage, but (Y/n) wasn't listening. She couldn't listen. She didn't want them touching her.

She wanted Evan to get her out.

His name tore past her lips in a desperate plea but when two medics leaned in and started to ease her from the car, ripping her away from Evan, she screamed. A horrific, banshee scream hit Evan's ears and cut through him until he was wincing and at the point of sobbing too.

Turning to the left, Evan fisted the medic's shirt in his hands and pushed until the man took three steps back and helped Evan climb out the battered car.

His legs didn't seem to work properly, they fumbled, buckled and wobbled beneath him like broken matchsticks about to come apart completely. But Evan made them move. He dragged his feet across the tarmac, leaned most of his weight onto his new colleague and scanned his eyes around the smoke infested scene, trying to find (Y/n).

"I go with her." He pointed until the man nodded and tried to help guide him over to the ambulance (Y/n) was being loaded into.

"Concussion, deep wounds to the left hand and possible broken ribs," The man stated while Evan gathered what little strength he had and hoisted himself into the ambulance.

He flopped down on one of the seats closest to the gurney (Y/n) was laid on and slumped his elbows down on his knees. He kept his left hand dangling beside his leg even though he knew he should have kept his arm raised in the air to stop the blood loss. He didn't care. As long as his right hand found (Y/n)'s shaking fingers and held her hand to his lips, he couldn't care about his own minor injuries.

"E-Evan-"

"I'm here, I've got you, sweet girl." He kissed the back of her hand and lowered his head until it was hovering over her arm to try and relieve the tension. It felt like his head had been pumped full of air and it was about to explode.

He hated how she cried when the paramedic tried to touch and assess her chest and she flinched, coiling towards Evan when they pushed a needle into her hand and set her up on an IV line.

"Oh no…" Evan's head snapped up and his body slammed into the back of the ambulance when he straightened up like a ruler. The action made the blood drain from his head and dribble down to his toes until he was seeing stars again and his vision momentarily went black. He could feel someone quickly grab his chin and tilt his head back when his body started to slump forward and he was grateful for the oxygen mask that was pushed over his nose.

The flood of oxygen made him cough but it relieved the pain in his head and allowed him to see through blurry eyes again.

"Sir, deep breaths. Do you feel sick?"

"No, no s-she's pregnant."

He forgot to tell them. He hadn't been alert enough to say anything in the car but the thought suddenly dawned on him when he saw the medic assessing (Y/n) for broken ribs. They wouldn't know she was pregnant and if he didn't say anything now they wouldn't find out until much, much later when something went wrong or they did blood tests and accidentally found out.

They had to know so they could try and do something to help the baby. Evan didn't even know what injuries (Y/n) had gotten, he couldn't see any blood except for a cut on her forehead. It was him whose blood was dribbling onto the ambulance floor like a broken tap. She could have any number of internal injuries and internal bleeding they didn't know about.

"How far along?" The medic leaned back over (Y/n) with a sudden rush of concern in his eyes and a perplexed look on his face.

"T-three months… nearly four."

"Pelvis is in tact, no distending organs… skin isn't warm or flushed." He seemed to be nodding to himself as he went along his assessment, pressing the heel of his hands around (Y/n)'s lower chest and down her abdomen to check for any iregularities. He then banged his fist on the side of the ambulance and leaned into the windoe separating them from the driver. "Alert the hospital we have a priority one, pregnant female. She'll need an X-ray and an MRI, surgery team needs to be on standby just in case."

Evan croaked, trying to swallow down a bubbling cry. It hurt to think about what they were going to do to (Y/n).

She hated hospitals. She wasn't going to cope with an X-ray, then an MRI, especially if that scan was for her whole body and not just her head. Surgery was the last thing she needed right now.

Evan kept tight hold of (Y/n)'s hand while he stood up, stooped over with his weight wobbling between his toes and his heels like he was about to collapse. He ignored the medic trying to urge him to sit down and grabbed one of the cardboard sick buckets from the second drawer down, just in time to throw up. He knew where they were kept, he stocked the ambulance like everyone else every shift and he could feel his lunch crawling back up his throat.

He was grateful when she took the bowl off him when the ambulance finally came to a stop and Evan knew he was finished chucking up his guts.

His legs still felt uneasy but he felt more capable of walking than he did ten minutes ago and he held onto the gurney with his damaged hand so he didn't fall. But he let his weight slump forward and practically slid out of the ambulance onto shaky legs.

He knew the trek in through the paramedic's entrance, bypassing the A&E waiting room and going straight to the assessment cubicles. But anger boiled up inside of him and he wobbled when a nurse tried to escort him to a different cubicle than (Y/n).

She caused him to let go of (Y/n)'s hand and that automatically made (Y/n) scream, choking on a cry when they wheeled her into one of the further cubicles, away from Evan.

"Sir, come this way and we can assess you-"

"No y-you don't understand,"

"Sir-"

"I'm firefighter Buckley. And t-that's my wife, I'm going with her, thank you." Evan sneered the last words at her before he stumbled forward, cradling his rocky, shaking head that was ready to cave in and explode.

That was right, wasn't it? (Y/n) was his wife, wasn't she?

It sounded right when it came from Evan's lips, the thought seemed to make sense in his mind. He remembered arguing with Eddie about it and he could hear himself saying he would marry her. Why was his mind so jumbled? Why couldn't he think straight? Why was he ten minutes delayed in giving information and understanding it? He didn't realise (Y/n) was still in the car with him when he came round and he didn't tell them straight away that she was pregnant and in danger. Why didn't he tell them sooner?

When Evan got into the cubicle, everything started to spin. He slumped down into the chair closest to the bed (Y/n) had just been manoeuvred onto and he reached out for her. His good hand curled around her upper arm until his fingers were bruising into her flesh and he lifted his numb, heavy, damaged arm up and flopped it onto the pillow. Not caring that his blood was now soaking into the crisp white linen or that he had now alarmed one of the nurses who couldn't tell straight away whether the blood was his or from an unforeseen head injury (Y/n) might have had.

He managed to register (Y/n)'s cries circling around in his ears and her nails scratching into his arm but it was her words that soothed him despite how desperate they sounded.

"D-don't take him away. I need him," (Y/n) could feel the world spinning. The lights were too bright, burning into her pupils and giving her a headache that mashed with the rest of her body and made her pulse and thud in pain with each heartbeat.

Bile rose at the back of her throat, pins and needles shot down her arms and her chest and her body felt like it was going cold.

But it was Evan's touch, loosening on her arm and his head flopping down onto her shoulder that made her scream in both fright and agony. He had gone unconscious.

"He's going into shock, move him now!"

"Don't t..take him,"

(Y/n) couldn't speak, her brain was turning to mush, melting and becoming stew in her mind. She couldn't think, couldn't feel and couldn't process anything but the knowledge that someone was grasping at Evan and trying to sit him up. She was sure she heard one of the nurses shout that he was starting to be sick. Then he was choking.

Then they were both unconscious.

***

"Sir, sir please, who are you here for?"

"(Y/n) Diaz and Evan Buckley, I- I'm her brother and I was on the phone when their car crashed. Where are they, are they okay?"

Eddie's fingers tangled in the hair at the back of his head and his other hand strummed horribly against the desk he was almost falling onto. He had spent ten minutes sitting in his living room in agony, waiting on the other end of the line for someone to talk to him and tell him what had happened.

He put a dint in the wooden coffee table, he had split his knuckles back open and he'd screamed so loud the neighbours came over in concern. He heard Evan scream. He heard his best friend swear and curse and spit and cry and the mesh of car horns and blazing voices and metal colliding with metal all melted together in Eddie's mind. He had heard everything and his sister's horrid scream sent him reeling.

He had been seconds away from hanging up the phone when someone finally found the phone and answered him, telling him they were taking the couple to Mercy General hospital.

After a quick, pleading call to his Abuela who agreed to collect Chris from school, Eddie raced down the motorway, calling Bobby enroute to explain that something bad had happened and he didn't know what the outcome was.

"I have a Buckley in room three… Linda, family member of Mr Buckley."

What about (Y/n)? Where was she? Was she okay, why weren't they taking Eddie to see both of them? Was (Y/n) not in A&E anymore, had she been taken somewhere else in the hospital?

All the questions swirled around Eddie's head and made him dizzy and too incomprehensible to voice them. He blindly nodded and stumbled after the older nurse who was already speeding away from him to show him where to go.

"Are they okay?" He gasped through each word, clawing at the back of his neck like it would somehow help him breathe clearer.

"Mr Buckley was a handful, he received a very severe concussion and started to be sick, then when he passed out be started to choke and convulse. We had to clear his airways and send him up to the third floor for a scan. Little bit of swelling but he's in the clear."

"Shit."

"Hm. He's got broken ribs and his left hand got rather messy, glass nicked an artery so he got some stitches. He began screaming for his wife when he came round, very distressed so we had to give him some morphine for the pain and to calm him down."

That sounded like Evan.

Although Eddie found himself halting just outside Evan's door when the words sank into his mind. Screaming for his wife. Evan and (Y/n) weren't married, certainly not after the conversation they all had yesterday. Had Evan told a white lie to make sure he knew what was happening with (Y/n)? Or had his concussion affected him worse than they imagined?

"W-where is his wife? (Y/n) Diaz, she um… she's pregnant and I'm worried." His fingers rubbed bruisingly over his jaw that was aching from how tightly he had been clenching his teeth together on the drive here.

"She was moved up to the third floor for some scans, to check for internal injuries. She sustained broken ribs and a dislocated knee… I'm afraid I don't know about the pregnancy yet, I'm sorry. If you wait with Mr Buckley, any news and someone will come down and talk to you. We're waiting to admit him onto a ward when we get a free bed."

"Thank you," His disheartened tone was evident in his voice and the light started to fade from his eyes when the nurse looked at him with sorrow before she turned to carry on with her duties.

Eddie turned on his heels and slowly opened the hospital door, trying to brace himself for what he was going to find on the other side.

Evan didn't see him at first; it gave Eddie a chance to look him over and do a small assessment. His friend, his brother, was sat on the edge of the bed with his legs dangling off the side and his right hand clasped around the back of his neck like he was trying to choke himself. He had his left arm bandaged and in a sling around his neck, something Eddie guessed he wouldn't be wearing for very long.

He had the beginning of a black eye and various cuts and newly forming bruises dotted all over his face and down his neck from what Eddie could see.

If Evan looked this bad, what was (Y/n) going to be like?

"Eddie…" The moment Evan lifted his head, the waterworks started again and before Eddie could close the door, Evan was sobbing. His face turned a very horrid shade of cherry red, his wet parted lips were swollen and blushing and his eyes were the deepest shade of blue Eddie had ever seen.

"Buck, how do you feel?" Eddie went to sit down next to him on the bed but Evan stood up before he could sit down. He pushed onto wobbling legs and swayed, trying to control his eyes that were moving in slow circles. "Sit down, you've got a concussion-"

"They won't let me see her! T-they're hiding her from me,"

"No one's hiding her, she's having a scan. Please sit down," With gentle hands, Eddie held Evan's arms carefully in case they were hurting or bruised. And he slowly nudged Evan until he was sitting back down on the bed, sniffing and trying to catch a proper breath. "Someone will come and find us when they have news. What happened, you… you were screaming on the phone."

Eddie already knew he was going to be having nightmares for months after what he had heard tonight. Evan's cursing screams and (Y/n)'s tortured howls were going to haunt Eddie for the rest of his life.

"Nurse said a drunk driver hit us. Can you call Maddie for me?"

"Yeah, yeah I'll ring and ask her to come down,"

"I'm sorry,"

His words took Eddie by surprise, so much so that he had to take a step back and lean down to look at Evan and make sure he heard him right. What on Earth was he apologising for? Evan hadn't been the one drunk driving, he hadn't done anything wrong. Not like the person who hit them who was going to feel Eddie's wrath as soon as he got hold of them.

As Evan continued to cry and cradle his head that was still on the verge of exploding, despite the morphine they had given him, Eddie could feel his throat closing up. The unfamiliar sense of dread dwelled in his stomach and his heartbeat started to thud throughout every crevasse of his body, making him pulse and shudder like a boombox. He couldn't feel his fingers anymore, a horrid numbness was spreading down his arms to his fingertips and he couldn't breathe.

He was starting to panic. He had been the one who had given both of them the cold shoulder. He wouldn't return (Y/n)'s phone calls, he wanted time to think things over and work out how they were all going to move forward through this and tell their families. Eddie had been too hard on both of them and now they were in the hospital.

If he had taken things better, if his mood had been lighter and more understanding, would they have been out in the car tonight when they were? Would they have been going to see Maddie if Eddie had changed his attitude yesterday?

Was their crash his fault?

[lukolabrainrot]

I am going to talk about some of my thoughts about why I believe N's behavior changed as the PR tour progressed. I am also going to talk about my thoughts on if L&N ever got "jiggy with it" 😂 I'll try to get to my thoughts on Toronto and Ireland tomorrow.

Before I start though, I want to mention that I am trying to come to my theories/opinions based off of things I have been able to observe, and verified information online. Obviously though, I don't actually know any of these people irl, so I am never going to understand the full story of what is going on between L/N. All of this is just my thoughts and theories on what is going on based on what has been put out to the public. There has been a lot of speculation online about everything, but I am going to try and not give that information too much weight when coming to my conclusions here. I am interested in hearing everyone's thoughts/opinions though, since this story has a lot of moving parts. Just wanted to put this disclaimer out before moving forward with more of my thoughts/theories.

Alright, on to the main course (this is going to be a LONG post btw)...

N on the PR Tour

I want to start off with the following that we know to be fact about N:

She is INCREDIBLY private about her personal life, especially her dating/romantic life (the same isn't/hasn't really been true about L). In fact, I don't believe N has ever publicly come out as being in a relationship with anyone since she entered the entertainment industry/been in the public eye (although I can't 100% confirm this, so please let me know if there are any articles/or something on her SM where she has publicly confirmed she was in a relationship at some point)

She is VERY online, and very careful about controlling her public narrative

She is a naturally touchy and affectionate person with people, but she seems to hold her true feelings a lot closer to her heart, and it seems to me, that she is kind of "on" in public (which is actually an important skillset to have as someone in the entertainment industry because you really need to know how to stay in control of your public narrative--your fans are your livelihood)

She LOVES photography/taking photos (it is one of her love languages I believe)

Now as I mentioned, L was always a lot more of an open book on the PR tour about his feelings for N (refer to my post here). N seemed to be a lot more reserved/gaurded during the tour when it first started in January, but everything shifted in like April when the world tour started. Below are my thoughts:

N started to become a LOT more obvious through her nonverbal cues about her genuine feelings for L as the tour unfolded. I will say that I believe PART of it probably had to do with getting a little "lost in the sauce" with the energy of the tour. However, I think the larger factor was that L & N were pushed together for many months (in close quarters), and were therefore forced to have conversations about their feelings for each other that I think they had been tiptoeing around for quite a while. From what we then saw from like the middle of Italy (I'm an Italy truther), there was more of a confidence, security, and contentment in how they interacted with each other that signaled to me feelings were shared and reciprocated.

Like I mentioned, she is a PR queen and very, very private about this part of her life. Therefore, why would she decide to be so obvious about her feelings on such a public stage when she knows people analyze everything? Well... I believe this is her way of publicly acknowledging their romantic feelings for each other without ACTUALLY publicly acknowledging anything more than "work besties" is going on with them. Which totally makes sense when you think about it because 1) The fandom would LOSE IT rn 2) That would put a LOT of public pressure on them, and I think these feelings they have shared with each other are very new (but had been brewing for a long time), and I don't think they are confident enough to go public. There is also, of course, the A of the whole situation, which L needs to figure out how he wants to move forward with that. TLDR, the situation is very messy, and I think there is a lot that L/N need to process in private regarding each other out of the public eye. I am pretty confident though that this tour put them in a situation to confront, clarify, and establish what their romantic feelings are for each other outside of the show (and they were reciprocated), and they are taking the space right now to explore that privately.    

Lastly, because I really like analyzing photos and N loves taking pictures, let's talk about those "boyfriend pics" of L she posted since the world tour started. Yes, she was promoting the show, but a lot of those pictures (especially recently) have a very specific vibe. She wants the world to see him the way she sees him. She loves that man, clear and simple. He shines around her, and she knows that. I think it’s also especially telling that she posted the most recent boyfriend pic of her last day of filming (which was the most obvious one in my opinion) now that A is publicly connected to L. It was a statement in my opinion, that regardless of all the drama unfolding, her and L have a really deep and meaningful connection that is special to her. I think it also served as a message that we don’t know the full story, which I think is a positive thing for us Lukola fans. Now I can’t predict the future with these two, but I am fairly certain we wouldn’t have been seeing the type of behavior we saw from them on the PR tour, and the types of photos she has been posting of him lately, if they weren’t confident in moving forward with their romantic relationship in the near future (especially since A has been in the picture for quite some time). I think these pics serve as another crumb that they are a little more than just work besties.

One last note, I think the reason our PR queen started slipping up and changing her answers to certain questions on the tour is because SHE WAS REALLY HAPPY WITH HIM. This can be a whole separate post at some point if people are interested, but I am almost certain from everything I have observed regarding N, that she is quite jaded when it comes to finding a romantic partner, and has been hurt in romantic relationships in the past.  I feel like L is the more sweet, hopeless romantic between the two. I think he allowed her to heal some of her relationship wounds. I think there is something about L and the experiences they’ve shared together that has reignited something within N to make her feel more hopeful about having a deep romantic connection while she can still be very independent and successful in her field. And I think it specifically has something to do with who L is when he is with her and how he treats her. I get the impression he has really altered the way she sees certain things related to romantic relationships. My whole point is that I think they both know what they have, and they know that if they can get on the same page, this relationship would get serious pretty quickly. Therefore, even though N is really private with this part of her life, for L, I think she would publicly acknowledge their relationship, but only when/if they are able to get to a point where they feel confident enough that their relationship would be able to withstand the pressures from the public. They just aren't there currently because of all the other confounding factors, but I don't think that necessarily signals where they will be in like 6 to 8 months imo...

Have L/N ever gotten freaky deaky irl?

From before the PR tour, I just don't have enough information to confidently say yes or no. A lot of people have different opinions on this, and some people think they casually dated near the end of filming season 3/sometime last year (but we don't have any proof of that). This is what I will say:

N still follows J (and vice versa I believe, please lmk if I'm wrong?), so I don't think there is any bad blood there. This makes me pretty certain that L/N never acted on any physical feelings for each other until after that relationship was completely over. I do think though that L/N have had a spark for a while (and tbh, I think L has kind of had a thing for N since they met, and his feelings for her have always been stronger). Therefore, this likely played a part in him emotionally distancing from his relationship with J when season 3 started filming, but at the end of the day, we will never know the specicifics of why they decided to part ways. My guess is that there were a lot of reasons that relationship did not end up working out considering how serious that relationship was.

Considering how WILD L/N's sexual chemistry is, it wouldn't surprise me if they hooked up at some point before the PR tour. But considering L was on Raya by February/March 2023 (from my understanding?), and the fact that N was SUPER busy last year and traveling a bunch, I just don't think there was any time for them to have anything more than something super casual/no commitment (if anything). Even if they did maybe hook up some, I don't think they really directly addressed the depth of their feelings for each other, which is why we saw all that behavior between them on the tour, because I don't think any clear boundaries had been put up and their feelings came flooding back.

Now I feel a lot more confident that somethingggg intimate happened at least once between them on the PR tour. Here are my theories:

I don't think things were great between them at the beginning of the tour (like January) because feelings I think started popping up again for these two during the reshoots in December 2023, and then the NYE kiss comes out, and N and L are feeling disconnected and aren't really on the same page about the tour.

I think they had some conversations in private, because by the VDay event, they seemed a lot more on the same page (and L was giving N those total heart eyes). The extra layer is that (I believe?) A accompanied L to the city the event was in (I think NYC?), but even though A was staying with him, L was STILL looking at N like THAT during the event (which I think speaks VOLUMES).

I think though there were a lot of things they still weren't talking about, and everything came to a head when they got to Italy, which is why the vibes were off at first and it seemed like there was tension between them. This also occurred soon after the Instyle stunt, so I feel like N probably had some feelingssss about that.

I have recently been converted to an Italy truther, so I believe that Italy was where L/N finally addressed/readressed some of their feelings for each other, and N was trying to get some clarity on WTH was going on with A, and making sure it wasn't going to mess anything up with the tour. But I think they "kissed and made up" 😉 and got back on the same page. Which is why there was the shift in Italy, and why we saw what we saw for the rest of the tour.

Not sure exactly what happened of course, but I get the feeling something physical happened after they started having some BIG conversations about each other that they had needed to have for a long time (and I think they continued to have these conversations with each other as the tour progressed). Let's also remember that these are two very non-confrontational people, so I feel like there must have been a LOT of pent up feelings/emotions for them to publicly show that they weren't super happy with each other/beefing during the beginning of Italy.

I also definitely think they physically acted on their feelings in Brazil (like they just had the "glow" imo 😂). And the eff me eyes, c'mon. Like Brazil continually reminded me of that New Girl quote "The stench of filth and lust is all over this room." It just seemed pretty obvious to me 😂 Especially considering the events that transpired right after that with A, and between L/N for the rest of the tour.

Lastly, I know a lot of people believe that L/N didn't physically act on their feelings because the tension would go away. However, I actually think it's a good sign that tension is still there, because I think it shows that there is a pretty deep connection between these two, and they are still feeling that pull/sexual energy after having sex. They kind of remind me of like two friends in a friend group who just admitted their true feelings for each other but aren't ready to go public, but are also having crazy good sex, so they are super obvious and can't really hide it when they are together LOL Regardless if they had ever physically acted on their feelings before the tour, I think these experiences (IF they did indeed occur), helped L/N get clarity if their strong feelings and attraction for each other went past the show and their characters. And I personally think they got that clarity 😉

Wowww okay that turned into an essay LOL, but I think the TLDR is that the situation seems very complicated right now, and I think there is a lot that L/N are needing to figure out in private. But I don't think that negates or invalidates what we saw between them on the PR tour, or that they were "faking" their feelings. Human beings are messy and imperfect, and that is okay. I think the part that still really confuses me is the whole A of the situation, because I just can't wrap my head around it. I would love to hear other people's opinions though on how she factors into all this, so if you have theories/questions you would like to add to that discussion, drop them in my asks. Because I have thoughtssss 😂

[velnna]

i think staeve's ref sheet being him in camp would be perfect !! if you wanted to go that far, you could even show what his tent might look like sort of like those old school inside-of-bag ref sheets!

Haha yeah I think I might play around with something like that! And on that note I'm pleased to announce that after frankensteining two different OC backstories into one with Staeve as the final piece of the puzzle, he now has A Backstory.

In case anyone remembers Nita, my artillerist tiefling who needed a redesign for a guest appearance in ThUG. Rejoice they're now siblings

[lunameimei]

- Simon?

part 1?

upd [2]: More posts with my arts/headcanons about Ice Queen (Icelynn Quinzel)

[luki04]

I've had an epiphany (sorry for my moots who are not interested in f1)

brocedes as patrochilles but their personalities are switched

achilles consumed by his hunger for power and patroclus being a collateral damage

the beautiful fanart is made by @sabellart

[etrevil]

[pianokantzart]

A silly thought, but what if...