#It's been years and still his mind is a a few seconds ahead of the world and it. Hurts. So much it hurts | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

punkshort · 8 months ago

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i know who you are | 2. the journal

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Chapter Summary: Your memories still remain out of reach, so you ask Joel to tell you a bit about yourself, and with the help of a journal you kept, you begin to learn more about the person you became in the past ten years, leaving you with more questions than answers.

Chapter Warnings: language, eating, alcohol use, angst, pining, sad!Joel, amnesia

WC: 6.3K

Series Masterlist

"Did'ya get any sleep?"

You glanced up at Joel as you walked side by side towards the dining hall.

"No," you admitted, looking straight ahead again.

After Joel left you in his - your - bedroom, instructing you to rest on his way out, you found you could do anything but. Your mind was spinning with all of the information you had just learned, and you weren't sure which topic consumed you more: the end of the world or the supposed love of your life.

The longer his words set in, the more you were finding it difficult to look at him. It was such a strange feeling, having this large, burly, gruff man proclaim his love for you, to say he would stop at nothing to make you feel the same way, to insist you were meant for each other. It seemed so out of character, though you hardly felt like you knew him. But even now as you walked down the street, you noticed how some of the people in town glanced at him. Moving quickly out of his way.

It wasn't just you who found him intimidating.

You were distracted as you walked, curiously peering into storefronts and repurposed buildings when a group of children playing a game of tag nearly ran into you. At the last moment, Joel tugged your arm, pulling you into his side just in time. The children seemed to realize their mistake because their laughter quickly stopped and the smiles fell from their faces as they looked up at him.

"We're sorry, Mr. Miller," a young boy no more than eight years old said.

Miller. You never even bothered to ask his last name.

Joel just grunted and they scurried away, no doubt eager to escape his glare. You chanced a look at him, studying his stern expression when you realized he was still holding you against him. He was warm. Warmer than you expected. And solid. You cleared your throat and stepped away from his grasp, muttering your thanks and glancing around the busy street to avoid the disappointed look in his eye when it became clear you weren't comfortable with him touching you.

You shoved your hands in the pockets of your jeans and continued to walk in silence down the main road. A few people shot you curious looks or did double takes as they walked by, and you had to assume if Ellie heard the news about your accident, then others had, as well.

The Tipsy Bison came into view at the corner of the street, made obvious by the large crowds of people gathered outside.

"Does everyone have to eat here or are you allowed to have food in your homes?" you asked him, and he looked down at you, surprised by the question.

"We got food. It's not like a prison or somethin'," he said with a chuckle. "Most folks like to come here to socialize, but sometimes we cook dinner at home," he stopped short when he realized he never asked you what you preferred. "Did'ya wanna stay home instead?"

"No, this is fine," you told him over your shoulder.

"You sure? Maybe it's too much right now," he replied, jogging a bit to keep up.

"I'm sure. You won't leave me, right?" you asked, looking at him nervously.

"'Course not," he said, trying to hide his grin. He liked that you wanted him around, even if it was only because you didn't know anybody else. It was a start.

When Joel swung the door open, holding it wide so you could enter first, it might have been your imagination but you thought the loud chatter simultaneously died down for a split second. Then Joel stepped in beside you and the volume rose once again.

You wanted to look around and take in the rustic atmosphere but you could feel the eyes on you as Joel led you through the crowd, the scrutiny making you feel extremely out of place, so you kept your gaze pinned straight ahead. Following dutifully behind, you watched as people automatically moved out of his way, like he was Moses parting the Red Sea, until he reached a table in a somewhat quiet corner of the dining hall. He pulled out a chair and stood behind it, his hand still resting on the back, and it took you a second to realize he was waiting for you to sit so he could push it in. You quietly thanked him then finally looked around the room.

The dining room had tables scattered around, and as far as you could see, they all appeared to be taken. People were standing in groups, drinking and laughing and eating and you wondered how in the world your table wasn't taken. You were about to turn and ask when an older man approached your table.

"Hey guys," he said, pulling out a pad of paper from his pocket. "What'll it be?"

You went wide eyed for a moment, looking around trying to figure out what your choices were when, much to your relief, Joel spoke for you both.

"Still got any of that stew left?"

"Sure do. Few guys got lucky earlier today, too. Got two deer, so we'll be havin' more soon," he replied, jotting something down on his paper. "Two whiskies?"

Joel was about to nod when you spoke up for the first time.

"Just water for me, thanks," you said, and the man nodded his head.

"Thanks, Seth," Joel said as he walked away.

You glanced at Joel quickly, awkwardly catching his eye. It felt too much like a date. Dropping your gaze to the table, you tried to think of something to say.

"Probably a good idea, skippin' alcohol," he said. "Didn't even think about it, what with your head and all."

"Yeah," you said, your hand coming up to gently touch the stitches. "Besides, I don't like whiskey, anyway," you added. Joel laughed softly as he watched you shift nervously in your chair.

"What?" you asked with a frown.

"Nothin'," he replied, still staring at you in disbelief. "Just ever since you got here you've been tossin' back whiskey better than most of the men. You must've gotten a taste for it at some point."

"There's no way," you said, scrunching your nose when Seth put down Joel's glass in front of him. He stared down at it wistfully, swirling the amber liquid in the glass, lost in thought.

"Whiskey's how we first met," he said softly, still staring at the glass. You tilted your head towards him, waiting for him to continue. "When you first arrived, you were like a caged animal. You came here lookin' to blow off steam," he said with a distant smile. "It was a slow night. Just you and me and a handful of others. You were tossin' that shit back like it was nothin'."

You watched him as he reminisced. His eyes shone brightly and a small smile played on his lips, it almost felt like you were intruding on something special.

"When me and Ellie first arrived, no one really went outta their way to talk to me. I preferred it that way. Was used to bein' on my own," he continued, looking up at you now. "But that night, you sat down next to me at the bar like you had been waitin' for me or somethin'. You asked me if I was drinkin' for fun or drinkin' to forget. Those were the very first words you said to me."

You were completely silent as he spoke. The way he told it, it felt like you could see the scene playing out right before you, the way he remembered every detail left you in awe.

"What did you say?" you asked a little breathlessly.

The corner of his mouth twitched and he looked down at the table.

"Drinkin' to forget."

You waited for him to elaborate, but when it became apparent he wasn't going to, you asked him another question.

"Then what happened?"

He raised his eyebrows and hummed, a slow smile stretching across his face before he answered.

"You told me you could help me have fun and help me forget," he said, and you could feel the heat instantly flush your cheeks.

"Oh, my god," you murmured, covering your mouth, utterly mortified. "Please tell me you're joking."

He shook his head, still smiling at the memory. You glanced around the room, trying to look anywhere but at him.

"So then, did we...?" you trailed off, gaze still fixed on a spot on the wall.

"Oh, yeah. 'Course we did. I'm no saint," he chuckled.

"Jesus Christ," you said, burying your face in your hands. "That doesn't sound like me at all."

"It's not. Well, not anymore. You had an edge to you when you first arrived. Most do. Survivin' out there does that to you," he said, taking his first sip of whiskey.

You sat in silence for another minute, contemplating asking him what he knew about your life before you met him, but ultimately deciding against it. Maybe another time.

"Where's the bathroom?" you asked him, and he pointed down a small hallway near the bar. You thanked him, his eyes trailing after you as you made your way through the crowds, only dropping his gaze once you were no longer in view. It was a strange thing, recounting stories for you like that. At first, the memories made him smile, but once he saw the lost look on your face he felt the sadness creep back up, settling deep in his chest, and he wondered if he would ever get you back.

You knew you were in the bathroom too long. You knew he would likely be worried, but you just couldn't stop staring at your reflection in the mirror after you washed your hands. Who was this person staring back at you? She looked older and weathered and tired. Your fingertip gently prodded at the bags under your eyes and then a small scar on your chin. What happened to you out there to make you the person Joel was describing? What did you have to do to survive? And did you really want to know the answer?

The door swung open, startling you as three girls around your age entered the bathroom. Their giggles stopped when they saw you and you watched them exchange glances in the mirror before a pretty girl with long, blonde hair greeted you by name. Turning around, you gave her a smile, hoping they would go about their business so you could slip out of there, but of course the pretty girl wanted to talk.

"We heard you had an accident, are you okay?" she asked, and she sounded sincere, but something about her smile made you think twice.

"Yeah, got a few stitches but it should be fine," you said, your eyes flicking to the other two girls, giving them each a smile. They looked at each other and smirked before heading towards the bathroom stalls, leaving you with just the blonde.

"So, is it true? Did you really lose your memory?" she asked, her voice low as if it were a secret, and finally you were able to pick up the vibe. You had been to high school before the outbreak. You had encounters with these types of girls before. Friendly to your face, vicious behind your back.

"Uh, yeah," you admitted, and she gasped as if she felt bad, but you saw the way her eyes lit up.

"So you don't remember, like, anything?"

"Well, I remember before everything went to hell," you told her, "but I don't remember this place, no."

"Oh, wow," she said, and you heard the toilets flush before the other two girls exited the stalls, grinning conspiratorially at the blonde. "So you don't know anybody here?"

You shook your head, feeling uncomfortable with the line of questioning at this point. What was she really getting at?

"That must mean you don't remember Joel, right?" one of the girls at the sink piped up. You looked at her briefly over your shoulder and shook your head, turning back to the blonde but not before you caught the look in her eye.

"Oh, that's too bad," she said, giving you a pout. "Does that mean you aren't together anymore, or-"

Suddenly, the door swung open and Ellie stormed in. Her hard gaze drifted around to the three girls and she gave them a look of disgust.

"Scram, vultures," she told them, and the blonde made a face at her before flipping her hair over her shoulder and heading to one of the stalls. Ellie called your name and you scurried over, allowing her to lead you back out into the dining room but not before she gave the other two girls a few choice words.

"Don't talk to them, they're nasty," she told you as you weaved your way through the crowd. Joel's eyes instantly found you once you were in view and you saw him straighten up in his chair.

"You okay?" he asked, and you could see the genuine concern in his face as you sat down. You were about to answer when Ellie plopped down on the other side of him and spoke first.

"Angie and her little sidekicks cornered her in there," she explained, rolling her eyes. "Already sniffing around for scraps."

"What do you mean?" you asked her, but just then Seth arrived with your meals and you never got an answer.

"Stew again?" Ellie asked, scrunching up her nose.

"It's good," Joel told her before taking a bite. You looked down at the bowl and you were inclined to agree with Ellie, but you swallowed the food down anyway, just grateful for something to eat after such a long day.

"Aren't you going to eat?" you asked her, noticing she hadn't ordered anything and instead was busy sketching in a journal.

"Nah, I'm going to Dina's later, I'll eat there," she explained without looking up.

"Who's Dina?"

"Oh, my girlfriend," Ellie explained, glancing up at you briefly. "Sorry. I still can't get used to this. It's so weird you don't remember."

"Don't be out too late. You got school tomorrow," Joel reminded her. Even though he wasn't Ellie's father, he seemed to have quite the knack for being a dad.

"Yes, sir," she said sarcastically, giving him a weak, two-fingered salute before hunching back over her journal. You heard some familiar giggles coming from somewhere behind you, and when you turned to look, you locked eyes with the blonde girl from the bathroom - Angie - who was holding some drink in her hand, her two friends flanking her sides as she strolled past your table. Her eyes drifted briefly to Joel before she passed by, then turned her attention to her friends, disappearing into the crowd.

"Who is that?" you asked, realizing you never really got much of an explanation. Joel and Ellie responded at the same time.

"Nobody."

"Joel's ex."

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise as Joel glared at Ellie.

"What? She woulda found out eventually," Ellie protested.

"She ain't even an ex," he said, turning to you now. "Just a mistake I made one time before you even got here," he insisted. The tone in his voice made it sound like he was trying to reassure you there was nothing to worry about, but of course, the information didn't phase you.

"Okay," you replied with a shrug. He examined your blank stare for a moment, searching for a glimmer of recognition. The disappointment in his expression every time something like this happened was becoming too much to bear, so you dragged your eyes off him to glance around the crowded room once again. You found Tommy leaning against the bar and you stood up.

"Where are you goin'?"

"I need to ask Tommy something," you said. "I'll be right back."

His eyes followed you as you pushed your way towards the bar, his heart feeling like it was going to break. He wasn't exactly looking for you to have an overly jealous reaction to hearing about another woman from his past, but your casual indifference hurt more than he expected. When you first found out about Angie, you insisted you weren't jealous but the way you sneered at her going forward, combined with giving him the best sex of his life later that night told him a different story.

"You think she'll ever get her memory back?" Ellie asked, still focusing on her drawing. Joel sighed and dragged his hands down his face.

"I don't know, kid."

"What'd you need to talk to Tommy for?" Joel asked once you both arrived back to his - your - home. You had wandered into the kitchen, Joel hot on your trail.

"Oh, I just had a question about something I saw when we were out there today," you explained, and he raised an eyebrow for you to continue. "There were dead bodies when I came to. They looked all decayed and... subhuman. Now that you told me about the infection, I wanted to ask."

Joel watched you open and close cupboards until you found the glasses, then picked one out to fill with water.

"So you ran into some runners," he said, and you nodded. "Did he happen to mention how you hit your head?"

Your hand froze, your glass halfway to your lips as you considered his question.

"Actually, no, he didn't," you said, setting down the glass and looking up at him.

"Yeah, he didn't really tell me, either," he replied, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "When he told me you hit your head and you were havin' trouble remeberin' things, I just came runnin'."

Guilt washed over you yet again as you thought about Joel being told the news and how panicked he must have been. He practically ripped all the exam room doors off their hinges to find you, only to be met with a stranger when he finally did.

"Well, I can ask him tomorrow," you finally said, putting your glass in the sink to avoid looking at him.

"Yeah," he replied, trailing off a bit. He was still lost in thought, trying to remember Tommy's exact words when you walked past him towards the stairs.

"You're tired?"

"Well, it's been a long day," you told him, pausing on a stair to look back down at him.

"Right, 'course," he said, shaking his head and following you up. When you got to the doorway of his bedroom you paused, looking up at him. It seemed like he was struggling to say something, his mind working hard to find the words, but instead he just gazed down at you, brown eyes all wide and soft.

"Don't suppose anythin's comin' back to you yet?" he finally asked, and you hated seeing that look. That same hopeful look you kept seeing right before you opened your mouth and crushed him. This was hard for him, you knew that, but the way he kept looking at you was making things so much worse. The pressure you felt to become this person he was expecting you to be was overwhelming. You opted to drop your gaze to the floor and slowly shake your head.

"That's okay," he said, and you dragged your eyes back up to him. "Maybe tomorrow."

You gave him a small smile. "Yeah, maybe."

He sighed and glanced at the door to the spare room.

"You need anythin', I'm right next door," he said, hitching his thumb to the side and giving you a lopsided grin, but you could still see it in his eyes. The disappointment. The sadness. The yearning. And it was making you feel sick.

Just as he turned to head towards the spare room, you spoke. "Joel?"

And he eagerly swiveled back around.

"I'm gonna try really hard to remember," you said earnestly, looking deep into his eyes.

"I know," he replied with a sad smile. He gave you one more look before heading into the spare room and softly closing the door behind him.

Joel slept like shit.

No surprise there, really. He hadn't slept without you in years. He had hoped the whiskey would have helped, but he was wrong. His mind was racing as he tossed and turned, and by morning he had foolishly convinced himself that you would be back to normal after a good night's rest. He got up early and made coffee for the two of you, like he always did, then tended to the fire in the living room. The nights and early mornings were frigid, but the days were warm. The first sign that fall was approaching fast. He was just putting the poker back when he heard the bedroom door creak open upstairs and his heart jumped into his throat excitedly, but when you descended the stairs and locked eyes with him, he knew nothing had changed. He didn't even bother to ask. You didn't look at him the same way you used to. You used to smile and gravitate towards him, your hands always seeking out his, your eyes playful and loving, but now you looked at him like he was a complete stranger. Devoid of all affection, the only thing that remained was a forced politeness.

You said good morning and headed into the kitchen and Joel wondered how long it would take for you to come around. Less than a day ago, you looked at him in fear, but now you seemed at least comfortable in his presence. That had to count for something.

He must have looked like shit because when he joined you in the kitchen, you eyed him up and down curiously.

"Have you been up for a while?"

He shook his head and picked up his mug, taking a sip and hoping the caffeine would bring him back to life.

"How's your head?" he asked.

"Not great," you admitted, pouring your own cup of coffee. "It really hurts. I think whatever meds the doctor gave me yesterday wore off."

Without even thinking, Joel quickly closed the distance between you to examine your injury. You startled a bit when he came up behind you and lifted your hair, but for his benefit, you tamped down your reaction. His touch was surprisingly gentle as he gripped the nape of your neck to angle your head downwards in order to get a better look. You closed your eyes and held your breath as you focused on his fingertips pressing tenderly into your skin. You heard him murmur to himself, the sound coming from deep within his chest, and you realized just how close he really was. Aside from pulling you out of the way so the kids playing tag wouldn't knock you down, it was the first time he had really touched you, and he was so much softer than you expected.

"Don't think it's infected but let's go see the doc, just to be sure," he said, his hand still on your neck, his other hand pushing your hair away.

"Okay," you said quietly, finally allowing yourself to take in a shaky breath as you waited for him to release you.

As if he realized what he was doing, he let your hair fall back into place and let go of your neck, his fingertips lightly trailing down your spine before falling to his side, making you shiver and step away.

"Sorry," he said. "Should've asked to look first."

"It's fine," you told him, absentmindedly rubbing the spot on your neck his fingers just touched.

As you walked side by side to the infirmary, his stony expression slid back into place. Gone was the softness you witnessed in his home. His hardened gaze drifted around the street, then to the watch towers, taking everything in. Studying. Calculating. And that was when you realized there were two Joel Millers: the one who the rest of the town viewed as gruff and callous, and the one you saw in the kitchen that morning, soft and gentle.

You wondered how many people got to see the latter version.

Nick examined you again in the same room as before, but this time, Joel was there watching his every move like a hawk. You could practically see the tension radiating off Nick's shoulders as he moved around the room. He examined your cut carefully, Joel's eyes never once leaving his hands, confirming that it was not infected before parceling out ten little white tablets of extra strength Tylenol into a small baggie and advising you to use them sparingly as inventory was low.

"That's it?" Joel asked incredulously.

"You know how it is, Joel," Nick said, but you heard his voice waver when Joel stood up from his chair. "Meds are hard to come by, we gotta be smart-"

"She hit her goddamn head so fuckin' hard she's lucky she remembers her own name and you're givin' her Tylenol?" he seethed, and you could see his neck growing flush with anger again.

"Joel, calm down, it's fine," you said, sliding off the table. Turning to Nick, you were about to voice your thanks when Joel cut you off.

"It ain't fine. What's it gotta take to get somethin' that actually works?" he huffed, taking a step forward and making Nick shift his weight nervously. "She gotta be missin' an arm? Maybe if she hit her head hard enough to forget what fuckin' planet she's on?"

"Joel, that's enough!" you snapped with a frown, and much to Nick's relief, Joel instantly backed off. He turned and paced around the small room, his hand rubbing over his mouth as he tried to calm down.

"What about my memory? Is it a bad sign I haven't remembered anything yet?" you asked Nick, and Joel paused somewhere behind you to listen to his answer.

"Well, the brain is a tricky thing," he began, his eyes darting over your shoulder briefly. "It could be weeks, could be months. Without any imaging, I wouldn't be able to tell you much more than that." You nodded and swallowed nervously before asking your next question.

"Or never, right?"

Nick took a deep breath and looked at Joel over your shoulder again before responding.

"It's possible."

You heard Joel's boots squeak against the linoleum floor and without even looking, you knew he was anxiously pacing around again.

"Alright, thank you. We'll get out of your hair now," you said, turning to corral Joel towards the door.

"Regardless, I'd like to see you again in a few days so I can take a look at those stitches," Nick said, and you agreed while pushing a muttering Joel back out into the hallway.

"I'll get you better meds," he said as you both walked out of the infirmary. "I got patrol tomorrow mornin', but I can go out after. There's a small cluster of houses we never did a full sweep on. Maybe-"

"The Tylenol is fine, don't go through the trouble. You could get hurt," you said, shoving the baggie of pills into your pocket.

"Tylenol ain't gonna do shit. I don't want you bein' in pain if there's somethin' we can do about it."

You sighed and rubbed the back of your neck, trying to temporarily relieve the ache in your head until you could get home and take one of the pills. You gave Joel a sideways glance, studying him as you walked together. He was brash and rude and aggressive, but you were learning that side of him came out when he was being protective over the ones he loved.

Or when he was trying to hide who he really was.

"So, everyone pitches in around here, right?" you asked, trying to change the subject. "You do patrol. What do I do?"

You paused at a crossroads, trying to remember which way to go, when Joel's hand on your elbow guided you in the right direction.

"You work patrol, too, but you ain't doin' that anymore," he said, letting go of your elbow after holding on for a moment too long.

"Well, obviously. I don't even know how to ride a horse," you said with a snort. "So I guess I need to find a new job, right? Who do I talk to?"

"Why don't you slow down a minute?" Joel said with a chuckle. "Let that pretty little head of yours heal up before you go lookin' for work."

You weren't going to say anything about his comment. Although it took you off guard, you realized he had habits that were going to be hard to ignore and you didn't expect that to happen overnight, but he seemed to realize what he said on his own and awkwardly cleared his throat.

"Sorry," he said softly.

"It's okay. I know this is difficult for you," you said, shooting him a sympathetic glance as you climbed his porch steps. He swung open the door and followed you inside, where you made a beeline for a glass of water so you could take one of the pills.

"We got a lotta history, you and me. It's hard to start over," he said as he watched you toss back the Tylenol with a wince. You examined his face closely and pulled out one of the stools to sit down. You leaned forward, forearms resting on the cool countertop before replying.

"Tell me a story."

He raised an eyebrow at you but couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from turning up a bit.

"What kinda story?"

"A story about us. You just said we have a lot of history together. Let's hear some of it," you replied with an encouraging smile.

"You sure? Thought you'd wanna go lay down," he said, but he eagerly pulled up a stool across from you.

"I think I can handle one little story," you told him, then watched as he stared down at his hands on top of the counter, deep in thought. When he thought of one, a slow smile spread across his face and his dark brown eyes flicked up to meet yours and you saw that softer side of him again.

"Alright," he said, settling back a bit. "So I told'ya last night how we met."

You cringed, remembering the story of a much bolder and seductive version of yourself, and nodded.

"Well, after that night we started seein' each other for a few weeks. It was just casual, nothin' serious," he said, looking down at his hands again. "I convinced you to sneak around so no one would catch on, and you grew tired of that. Rightfully so. I was bein' an asshole."

You watched him pull at a loose thread on the cuff of his flannel shirt, his eyes still cast down and you were beginning to realize it was due to shame.

"So anyway. One day you came over to, y'know..." he said, and you felt the heat in your cheeks again. "And you confronted me about it head on. Demanded to know why I wanted to keep you a secret. Thought I was ashamed of you - which I wasn't," he said quickly, his eyes finally meeting yours again. "But I had been through a lot of shit and I just didn't think I could give myself to someone like that again."

"What kind of shit?" you asked quietly, but he just lightly shook his head.

"One story at a time," he told you with a sad smile. You chewed on your lower lip as you waited for him to continue, his focus back on the loose string while he collected his thoughts.

"So I explained I had a hard time lettin' people in, that I wasn't capable of carin' 'bout anyone like that anymore, and you said to me, 'I know who you are, Joel Miller. Don't give me that bullshit, you're just scared.'"

He stared into your eyes, letting what he said land and hoping to see a flicker of the woman who spoke those words, but you just continued to look at him, waiting for him to finish the story like it was about somebody else entirely.

"Well, you were right, obviously. You always are," he continued with a smirk. "It knocked me on my ass. And I didn't know what was more difficult to believe: that you knew me better than I knew myself, or someone like you wanted anythin' to do with me in the first place."

You smiled and dropped your gaze to the counter, suddenly feeling shy.

"I'm not saying I don't believe you, but so far, these stories don't sound like me at all," you admitted.

He took a deep breath and finally stopped fidgeting with his sleeve.

"A lot's happened in ten years. Stuff that changes people. But I don't care what version of you's here, I love all of you."

You kept your eyes glued to his hands. You wished you could say it back. You knew he wanted to hear it. Maybe one day.

He tapped his finger on the counter, pulling your attention up so you were forced to look him in the eye.

"You fought for me that night, now I'm gonna fight for you, okay?" he said, eyebrows raised as he waited for you to acknowledge him. When you nodded sheepishly, his shoulders relaxed.

"So you're saying I fell in love with you because you were an asshole?" you joked, trying to lighten the mood, and it worked. Joel laughed heartily and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Nah, you didn't love me then," he said, still smiling.

"So how did I fall in love with you?" you asked, and his tongue clicked against his teeth.

"You're gonna have to wait to find out," he replied with a wink.

It wasn't his fault, but the rest of the day you could feel Joel looking at you. He was examining you, waiting to see the woman he fell in love with, and the pressure was beginning to be too much, so you made up an excuse to go lay down in his bedroom. He had mentioned he had patrol in the morning. Maybe some time away from him would help you relax.

You stared up at the white ceiling. The distant sound of children laughing outside through the closed window and then the door to the garage swinging open and shut acted as a soundtrack to your overactive thoughts. You almost had to laugh. It felt like your mind was constantly working, churning up information and digesting it only to always come up empty.

Absolutely nothing seemed familiar. Nothing about this place or these people felt like home.

You wished so badly you could remember something. Anything to make you feel like you belonged there. One little shred of hope was all you were looking for.

And then you remembered the journal.

Sitting up in bed, you tucked your legs underneath you and reached over for the black book. You fingers hesitated for a moment on the cover. It felt like an invasion of privacy, but how could that be when it was your own?

Taking a deep breath, you flipped open the journal and began at the beginning.

Right away, you could tell you wrote the entries. There was no doubt in your mind. Aside from your handwriting, your typical disorganization shone through like a beacon on every page. You occasionally remembered to notate in the margin the date, or your best guess at the date, but more often than not you were left with very little context for each small paragraph you read.

You were disappointed to realize the journal seemed to begin after you had met Joel. A big part of you was very eager to learn more about the person you were before finding Jackson, but it seemed as though you would have to depend on others to tell you stories you hopefully had relayed to them in the past.

The first page looked to be a list of items you had jotted down that didn't make much sense, but maybe when you first found the notebook, you hadn't intended to use it as a journal.

Socks, colored pencils, sunflower seeds, cards.

Flipping the page, you skimmed a short paragraph about a cabin you stumbled upon when on patrol. Again, it was more notes than anything of any substance. A description of approximately where it was in relation to Jackson along with a note to 'mention it at the next town hall meeting'.

Finally something interesting on the next page, you read a short paragraph about someone named Maria having a baby girl, and you frowned when you read the line Joel handled it better than I expected.

Continuing on, you read an entry about Christmas: Joel found me the softest sweater, it almost felt brand new. I really don't know how he managed to find it and I described the house I grew up in to Ellie and she drew it perfectly, I can't believe how talented she is.

One paragraph in particular grabbed your attention. It was about two people, and based on the context, it sounded like you were close friends. For the first time since we got here, I had the same day off as Ben and Lisa. We went fishing together and brought a lunch. It felt just like old times. As weird as it sounds, sometimes I miss being out there with them. We made a good team.

Maybe this Ben and Lisa would be able to answer some questions you had about yourself. Based on what you just read, it sounded like they knew you before Jackson.

There was a lot more to read, but the next page stopped you dead in your tracks. Your heart began to beat faster as you stared at the four words. Just one sentence, no explanation. A shiver slowly trickled down your spine as you sat there, unmoving, as your vision narrowed on the page: Joel lied to me.

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#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel the last of us #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal #joel miller fluff #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #the last of us game #the last of us hbo #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #ikwya fic #joel miller fanfic #joel miller tlou

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ohbother2 · 10 months ago

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OKAY SO-

Alastor lost his cool and flipped his shit immensely when Lucifer showed up - why would that be? and why wedge himself between Lucifer and Charlie? Why would he react so viscerally when his literal main-competitor for retaining his rank and respect is Vox, and Vox openly antagonises him first, trying to drag Alastor's reputation through the mud in his broadcasts

Alastor remains cool, calm, collected, and in doing so completely surpasses Vox's attempts

in many ways, Alastor is unflappable. Always smiling, always a step ahead, always the most powerful and domineering in a room

and then- Lucifer shows up. This short statured, rosy-cheeked, rather pathetic excuse of a man

he waltzes in to the hotel, a fumbling over-excited mess, the least threatening a person could possibly look in hell, barely reaching Alastor's waist

and yet, he outranks Alastor, he could over-power him easily, he is the predator

and Alastor simply cannot handle that

Alastor may be furious that such a week-minded, emotionally unguarded man ranks so far above him with no way for Alastor to even attempt to gain the same status

so what does Lucifer lack? what is the one thing Alastor can have that he can't?

a relationship with Charlie

his anger is calculated, he finds what hurts Lucifer, he finds his weakness, he grips onto it with both claws, and he drags it in front of him, mocking the fact that, yeah, sure Lucifer may outrank him, but in his daughters mind? one of the few things Lucifer can't control? Alastor has the power, has the lead - in all manners of 'power' and 'influence' that Lucifer cannot control, Alastor makes sure he knows he is on top - he is Charlie's favourite, he succeeds where Lucifer has failed her

regardless of his motives, he has been there for Charlie, and Lucifer hasn't, and that's all that matters

but why does he have this deep-rooted need to prove himself? why can he not accept that he is still the second most powerful in that hotel?

his need for power, for dominance, for control is shown again when Husk confronts him in the hallway

'big talk for someone who's also on a leash'

this time, Alastor doesn't even bother targeting Husker's, insecurities, his weaknesses

he drags him down the hallway chained at his neck, teeth gnashing and positively enraged

there's no typical Alastor intelligence or cunning behind this action - it is pure unadulterated rage, it's a: I can kill you, and I will

killing husk would be useless - Alastor obviously has a purpose for him, that's why he's been kept alive and the other overlords haven't, killing him would get rid of any leverage Alastor had, it would get rid of Husk full stop

Alastor has been gone for 7 years, and now he's back, supporting a cause he doesn't believe, forced to wander around the hotel halls and haunting its residents instead of freely roaming Hell

Lilith has also been gone 7 years - and she isn't yet back

Alastor just so happens to appear at the hotel mere moments after Charlie tries to talk to Lilith, marching into the foyer and wedging himself into the project with a showman's flair

he is chained, he is chained to that infernal hotel where he doesn't belong - he cannot be redeemed, he doesn't want to be redeemed

he is chained to Lilith, and by extension he is chained to Charlie

and in his eyes, he is powerless, so utterly and infuriatingly at the mercy of those above him, and that simply won't do

so what can he do? what can a man, whose greatest desire is power, who's biggest insecurity is the power and status he wields over others, do to reclaim some semblance of that power? how can he usurp Lilith? how can be make this soul-bond beneficial to him?

he can win Charlie over - he can replace her father in the process, he can mould her as he sees fit, he can play on her need to view the best in everyone, in the need to create friendships and her insatiable ability to care for those around her

he cannot get to Lilith, he cannot match Lucifer, but he can have Charlie

and he's nearly got her

and when he does? who's to say her naivety, her trust, the relationship he's intentionally crafted with her, leads her to strike a deal with him in a moment of need? when the angels attack, when the hotel begins to crumble, when heaven commands her to stop her efforts? why wouldn't she strike a deal, in her mind, he's as caring as a father figure, and a man who's been there since day one unlike either of her parents

she shakes his hand

he has her soul

he has Charlie, and he has Lilith, and he has Lucifer

there's nothing they can do, and isn't that really what power is? not raw-strength, not magic, not status, but the ability to control those who others may believe to be above your own station?

he's forced to the hotel, he's chained down and unable to grab for more power - if Lilith is preventing him from earning it himself, well, he can always just force her to give it to him

all it takes is one hand shake.

the cherry on top? he get's to show Lilith it's her own desire for him to be at the hotel that has allowed him to ensnare them all

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playgrl0 · 7 months ago

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loving you / gojo

an: something short nd simple. not proof read🧍‍♂️ i love satoru so so sos o sososos much and i wanna give him nd receive sloppy kisses from him too big fat sigh

! i would really, really appreciate some feedback. it makes me happy and motivates me to keep writing !

"mmmwaaahhh! mwah, mwah! mmyyygoooddd!" he groans against your lips. satoru's big hands squeeze your cheeks together while he presses his lips onto yours. hard and sloppy kiss after kiss after kiss. "god, you're so adorable! i can't get enough. mwah, mwah!" he mutters through kisses. you can barely understand him since he chooses to speak every time his lips are smooching yours. but it doesn't matter if you understand it or not since he's only talking no himself. he's been doing this for the past few minutes maybe, and you don't mind. you've been together for so long now that you're used to it. it'd be weird if he didn't do it. —

you're both cuddling on your shared bed, wearing comfortable clothes. he's laying halfway on top of you, his hands still squeezing your cheeks together so that your lips are puckered. he finally removes his lips from yours and he stares into your eyes. you look back at him amused and immediately he starts grinning like an idiot. "god, my heart-" he starts and presses another hard kiss to your forehead this time. "-you're too cute for this world!" you laugh. "satowu, pwease! my face huwts!" you try to tell him as best as you can with how he's holding your face. he understands it though and eases his grip a bit, not letting go though. "sorry, can't help myself." he smiles and this time he buries his face in your neck where he starts to gently kiss your skin. your hands find their way into his hair and he lets out a groan. he loves whenever you play with his hair. shortly after he removes his face from your neck and looks at you again, your face still in his hands. satoru swears that pieces of his heart jump out of his chest every time your eyes meet. that a new butterfly is born inside his stomach and flies around like crazy every time you smile back at him. it's been years since you've been together and you still have the same effect on him. —

you let out a small giggle at his dreamy stare, he does look like he's deep in a daydream. once the sound of your giggle hits his ears, he can't help himself anymore. he grumbles something along the lines of "so cute" and "just perfect" to himself, you couldn't really understand. and just a second later, his lips are pressed against yours again. "mwah, mwah, mwah! my perfect girl, my angel. mwah!" you continue giggling, how could you not? he's so sweet and so silly. so in love with you.

satoru removes his lips from yours once again, a string of spit still connecting your lips with his and he chuckles at the sight. your lips are coated in his saliva, which doesn't bother you at all, and he can feel how your face heats up . "hm, yer lips are glossy from my kisses." he grins. you shrug your shoulders and your tongue darts out to lick over your lips, collecting his spit. grinning back at him when his face falls. "don't do that!" he whines. "now i have to do it again!" you roll your eyes at him. "acting as if you weren't gonna do it again anyway. go ahead." he grins again and continues to give you more sloppy kisses. more salvia coating your lips and your chin as well, he's being messy, you don't mind it one bit though. because that's how he shows his love. he loves you, so much, and he's never shy to tell you and show it to you, he knows he may be a bit dramatic in showing his love to you but that's just how satoru gojo is. a dramatic, sweet, man. "mmm'toru, m' fwace." you mumble against his wet lips. he listens and finally removes his hands from your face. "thanks, it started to hurt a bit." you say, massaging your cheeks. satoru pouts and nudges his nose with yours. "didn't mean to hurt ya. sorry baby." you smile and wrap your arms around his neck to pull him close to you and you kiss his pout away. "it's okay."

satoru lovingly stares down at you. one of his hands softly stroking your cheek, the other hand is on the pillow above your head, his pointer finger playing with a single strand of your hair and wrapping it around it. "what?" you ask him when his stare gets even more intense and you feel like you might break under it. satoru grins and softly kisses your cheek. "it's just, you're beautiful. i still can't believe you're mine. and i love you so, so much. so much, my baby." "i love you too 'toru." you respond. his smile grows and he quickly gets back to press more sloppy kisses over your face and lips. "mwah, mwah, mwaaahhhhh!!"

and you let him. you happily let him love you the way he wants to, the way it's so typical for satoru gojo.

<3 @ playgrl0

#p!writes!%*#satoru gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #satoru gojo #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo #gojo satoru fluff #satoru gojo fluff #jujutsu kaisen

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mountttmase · 2 months ago

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Catch You

Note - Holiday Mase alert 🚨 so glad I could get this posted before summer was over 😭 and thank you to @saltyheartnightmare for the concept that sparked this 🩷 I hope you enjoy and please let me know your thoughts 🥰

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 24k

Warnings - fluff and angst

It had been a long time since Mason had a photoshoot like this and to say he was feeling a little awkward about it would be an understatement.

Especially now you were watching.

You weren’t meant to be there, in fact you were quite looking forward to an admin day in the office so you could get your life in order but today it just wasn’t meant to be.

You got that being the newest recruit meant you would have to do certain jobs until you’d earned the right to do what you’d been hired for but it had been three months now and you still felt like the office newbie.

Studying fashion had been hard and the fact you’d even managed to bag yourself a job as a stylist was an achievement in itself but no matter how many shoots you’d been on since joining you’d never managed to actually style anyone. You made tea’s or unloaded the van and set up the racks. All you wanted was your foot in the door and to actually do what you loved but it was taking longer than you’d thought it would.

You’d tried going it alone for a while after you’d graduated but you weren't getting anywhere so you signed up to an agency with the promise of collaborative working and shared ideas. It was turning out to be a lot easier than working by yourself as you were in an office most days working with loads of talented people but yet you still felt out of place a bit.

It was hard to book shoots or even work on other peoples when you weren’t published anywhere and you were finding it hard to build traction. All you needed was one little break, some good luck and you knew things would take off for you but since you weren't associated with anything to do with fashion in everyone else’s eyes, it was hard.

Your office bestie Freddie had tried, having already been signed up to the agency for a few years and having made the right connections meant right now he was on a shoot that had been set up for him by a friend from London. Apparently it was a big deal and he’d been working on it for months but you were glad not to see him today as all he did was distract you and today you needed calm and to get your head down.

It was difficult but you’d managed to get a fair bit done so when your phone buzzed at around 11am you chanced a look only to find your biggest distractions name pop up and from the look of the message you knew you had to reply.

You’d seen the box on his desk, a big REMEMBER FOR WEDNESDAY sign stuck to the top and after a sneaky peak you saw the watch in question. Thankfully the shoot wasn’t too far away and within half an hour you were walking into the shoot after stopping for a quick coffee as a treat for doing such a good deed.

It was unlike anything you’d ever seen before. Hordes of people running around as the loud bassy music filled the large open plan space. Lights flashing every few seconds as you caught sight of the photographer you’d seen on your previous shoot and you knew he meant business.

You managed to find Freddie fairly easily, right by the rails as he stood with his hands on his head and you knew he was losing his mind a bit until he saw you. A bright smile taking over his face as he grabbed yours and placed a big sloppy kiss on your forehead which made you giggle.

‘Don’t get too ahead of yourself, I might have brought the wrong one’ you laughed, digging into your bag and passing him the box but you saw his shoulders relax as soon as he set his eyes on it.

‘Thank god, honestly the last thing I needed was a fuck up today so I owe you one, Kid’ he told you, and you fought back the roll of your eyes at his stupid nickname for you. Placing the box on the table so he could reassess what he had and you used that time to have another quick look around and see what was going on.

‘How’s it going?’ You asked when you turned back but you could tell something wasn't right with him.

‘Alright I guess’ he shrugged and you raised your eyebrows in hopes he’d elaborate a bit. Working on a shoot like this was the ultimate dream for you so the fact it was only alright to him seemed strange and you knew something was wrong. ‘I don’t know, I feel like somethings missing and I’m not sure what. Would you take a look at the shots for me?’

‘Me?’

‘Yes you, you wombat. You might be able to see things I can’t’ he told you before nodding over to where the shoot was taking place and your jaw almost dropped to the floor when you saw the first picture.

How you hadn’t seen this man as soon as you walked in you’d never know but now you had you couldn’t stop looking. Your eyes flying from the screen to see him stood against the backdrop and his eyes met yours softly before he looked away with a timid smile.

He was a natural in front of the camera, doing everything they were telling him to effortlessly all while making everyone around him laugh but even though his personality was clearly shining through, he could have been as dull as a door knob and you still would have had the same reaction to seeing him.

He was beautiful.

Dark brown eyes that shone under the floodlights, a beautifully sculpted nose that you wanted to run your finger down and a smile that you knew would break a million hearts. He was pretty in a way most boys aren’t and as he stood there in a full suit and just socks you felt your heart stumble and how cute he looked.

‘Who’s he?’ You asked, trying to act as nonchalant as possible and not arouse suspicion that you’d just seen the most beautiful creature ever created but thankfully Freddie was so in his own head he didn’t suspect a thing.

‘Who Mason? Footballer, he plays for United’ he told you and you just nodded and pretended like you knew what that meant. It shocked you that he wasn’t an actual model as he definitely had the face for it but you could tell from his build he was sporty. His muscular arms almost straining against his selves and you had to tear your eyes away from him to look back at the screen. ‘You remember Woody? He’s his best friend and set this up for me’

You’d met Woody once at a work event and emailed him a few times since then. He worked for the same agency as you just down in London but you had no idea his best friend looked like a gift from god and you started the piece all the parts together as you watched Mason awkwardly stand there as his hair was being messed with for the next shots.

‘Wow it really is who you know huh’ you teased but you could see him rolling his eyes as you looked at a few more pictures before Freddie huffed in annoyance.

‘Do you see what I mean? Something's off’ he told you and as you chewed on your lip you wondered if you should tell him the truth or play it safe with him however in the end you knew you had to tell him your thoughts honestly as this shoot clearly meant a lot to him.

‘I think there’s too much going on. It’s supposed to be all about the watch right?’ You asked and he nodded at you curiously. ‘Okay well the tie needs to go first if all and there too many rings on just the one will be fine’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, keep the ring finger one on the opposite hand but the rest can go. Keep the top button done up as well and add a button clip. What else do you have?’

‘The other outfits are over by the rail with the model shots on. Let me sort him out but you go take a look I’ll be back’ he told you before scurrying off to adjust Mason so you could take a look at what was left to come. You knew what he meant and even though you liked every style he’d picked there were changes you would have made and thankfully enough the pair of you were comfortable enough around each other to say it like it is. ‘What do you think then, kid?’ You suddenly heard, looking up to see Freddie looking at you expectantly so you quickly got out a pen to make notes on his sheet.

‘I don’t like that shirt open, button it up apart from the top few and tuck it in. And go with the vans over the Nikes’

‘You think?’ He questioned but you could tell from his voice he wasn’t questioning you and was actually taking on board what you had to say.

‘Definitely. And this one, try him without that jacket too like just with the vest’ you shrugged before looking up at his quizzical face. ‘Just try it, if I’m wrong I’m wrong’ you told him but it wasn't long before Freddie was being called over to the screen and you knew he liked what he was seeing now. Calling you over to have a look for yourself before you were grinning at each other.

‘Can you go pick me a belt out for him to go with the tucked in shirt? I think we might need a chunkier one’ he told you as you walked back over to the racks and you scanned over the accessories as Freddie started typing on his phone before he nudged you shoulder. ‘You want a coffee?’

‘Oh sure, do you want me to get everyone’s order?’ You asked. Slipping back into your assistant persona quickly but he was quick to shake his head at you.

‘Nah, I’ll get one of the interns to go. Just tell me what you want’ he told you and you had to stop yourself from smiling. This was the first time someone had ever taken your order on a shoot and it felt like a big moment for you.

‘Oh um, a latte please’ you nodded, turning away to hide your smile and you could see him writing it down before he was looking back up with a smile.

‘No worries’ he chuckled, looking around until his eyes fell on Mason and you made yourself look busy by picking out a belt like Freddie had told you too. ‘Mase! You want a coffee?’

‘Latte please’ he called back, his voice getting closer as he made his way over and the sound of it made you smile. He sounded friendly but sexy at the same time and you found yourself biting your lip to try and hide how giddy you were feeling at the prospect of maybe getting to talk to him.

‘Mase come here, I want you to meet y/n’ Freddie called, pulling on your arm to get you to turn around and once you had he was a lot closer than you first realised.

‘Nice to meet you’ you smiled, holding your hand out for Mason to shake but when he flashed you his pearly whites you suddenly didn’t feel as confident as you did a few seconds ago. You felt shy and intimidated by his looks which never usually happened but you could also see he was just a normal nice guy underneath all that and it settled you a little and his hand felt warm in yours as he shook it.

‘You too’ he replied quietly, his cheeks a healthy shade of pink now and you figured he was just a little shy when he couldn't keep up eye contact with you for very long before he was looking to Freddie for help.

‘She’s actually made a few last minute changes to what you’re wearing but I just need you to go with it’ Freddie explained, but Mason just nodded along like it was nothing. Clearly he was used to lots of last minute changes in these conditions.

‘You know me mate, I just do what I’m told’ Mason laughed but before anyone could say anything else he was whisked off with a new outfit in hand to get changed into. His silly comment making your cheeks burn for a reason you didn’t want to elaborate on but thankfully Freddie was too in the zone to quiz you about anything.

You stayed for the rest of the shoot. Getting things ready for Mason to change into and Freddie even let you have the final say before Mason went back in front of the camera. You and Mason catching eyes every now and then and everytime he smiled because of you the photographer would tell him to keep going and smile more.

The plan wasn’t to spend the whole day at the shoot by soon enough it was 4:30 and you wondered where the day had gone. You’d had the best time though and the day had only cemented in your brain that this was exactly where you should be. Hopefully soon you’d be the one calling all the shots though.

‘Were going for dinner soon, you coming?’ Freddie asked as he brushed up beside you whilst you packed some things away but you just shrugged, not sure if he wanted you to say yes or no.

‘Oh um, I don’t want to intrude’ you started but Freddie just shook his head with a smile.

‘You wouldn’t be, Mase actually asked if you were coming so consider yourself officially invited’

‘I need to tidy some bits away at the office and send some emails’ you mused, knowing if you stayed and went for dinner you’d have extra work to make up tomorrow but the thought of getting to eye up Mason a bit more was swaying you.

‘Well head off now and you can meet us there okay?’ Freddie insisted and that was all it took to convince you. Packing your bag away and with a few quick goodbyes you rushed back to the office with a spring in your step.

You were in a pretty good mood and managed to get all your tasks done easily. Freddie texting you around 15 minutes before you were due to leave and thankfully the restaurant wasn’t too far from the office. You spotted Freddie straight away, tapping the seat that was next to him for you to sit down in but the fact Mason was on the other side made you excited and nervous. Wondering if you’d be able to talk to him a little more after today's events and thankfully enough you saw the way his face lit up as you approached.

‘You don’t mind me sitting here do you?’ You asked as you slid into the seat but he just shook his head as he subtly chewed on his bottom lip.

‘Of course not. I saved that one especially for you so I can pick your brains a bit’ he winked. Feeling your cheeks flush at the thought of him wanting to sit with you and it was almost as if you couldn't contain your surprise.

‘Me?’

‘Yeah, of course. You really made the difference today so I’ve got some questions for you… if that’s alright like you can tell me to shut up’

‘No no, I’d love that. Hit me with it’

You barely said three words to Freddie all night. Mason was taking up all of your attention as you spoke about the day and all it entailed until you branched off into other things. The conversation flowing easily between the two of you and you could feel your cheeks hurting from smiling so much as he came out of his shell throughout the evening. Eventually showing you some pictures of his all time fashion fails so you could laugh at them together.

Freddie took you home when it was time to leave and after a big hug goodbye from Mason, Freddie was giving you a look as he walked you to the tube.

‘What’s that look for?’

‘No reason? You have a good night?’

‘The best. Thank you so much for letting me stay like the whole days been amazing’

‘Well it should be me that’s thanking you, you really saved me today’ he told you, flinging his arm around your shoulder but he really didn’t need to thank you at all.

‘I’ve always got your back bestie’

y/n recently added to their stories

Considering the shoot day was the first time you’d met Mason, ever since that day he’d become somewhat of a repeat cast member to the insane reality show that was becoming your life.

Freddie had a fair few jobs lined up with him as Mason had some events coming up that he needed to be dressed for so you’d seen him a few times in the office for fittings. Unfortunately it was only in passing and you hadn’t managed to have a proper chat with him like that first day at dinner but he was always quick to greet you with a warm smile and a quick hug and you knew the silly little crush on him you’d developed on the first day of meeting him was going nowhere.

It was hard not to like him, he was gorgeous and funny and his smile made your heart race but the fact he was just a normal guy made you warm to him immediately and everytime he was around your eyes would constantly find his until you were both laughing every time it happened. The both of you never really knowing what you were laughing at and therefore unable to explain it to anyone else but just one look into his triple chocolate fudge brownie eyes made you giddy.

Even when you got home you didn’t stop thinking about him. Spending your nights watching countless tiktoks of him goofing around or searching him up on YouTube to watch his game highlights. You’d never been into football before and had no idea what was going on but watching him run around with a big smile on his face made your heart happy and you couldn’t believe your new friend was so talented. Feeling an immense sense of pride as you looked over all of his accomplishments so far.

It was a few weeks later when you got to talk to him properly again. Walking into the office to see him sat in your seat next to Freddie’s desk and you felt happier immediately knowing you’d get to see him today. Wondering if you might get a bit longer to talk to him and from the cheeky smile he sent you, you figured he might be just as happy to see you.

‘You’re in my seat, Mount’ you told him playfully, watching him look up at you in shock before the brightest smile you’d ever seen flashed across his face.

‘I’m just keeping it warm for you’ he winked, getting up as you approached but before you couldn’t do much else as he pulled you into a bone crushing hug causing you to laugh into his chest.

‘Oh get a room you two’ you suddenly heard Freddie moan. Lifting your head up to see him smiling at you as he walked over but you just rolled your eyes. Feeling Mason's chest rumble as he chuckled at his stupid comment but the pair of you pulled away from each other slowly so as not to cause anymore comments to be made. ‘You ready Mase?’

‘What’s happening?’ You questioned as Freddie dropped a box on his desk that he began to open and you couldn't make out what was going on even though they seemed excited by it.

‘’I’ve got the first copy of his edition’ Freddie smiled, pulling the box apart to retrieve a few copies and it was like the excitement had slapped you across the face.

‘Ooo I wanna see’ you replied, your voice excited as you clapped yours hands together and fought to make you way next to Freddie who was flapping it open and pulling one out.

‘I thought you might, that’s why we waited for you. Thanks for being late today, kid’ he teased but you just rolled your eyes.

‘Oh be quite’ you huffed. Taking the copy he handed you and when Mason placed his hands on your shoulders from behind, you smiled up at him. The pair of you excited to see how it had all turned out and as soon as your eyes landed on the front cover they began to well up.

You remember that picture being taken. It was just after you’d met Mason and once he’d gone back to take a few more shots you remembered him looking over to you as you and Freddie bickered like siblings over what belt to go with the next outfit.

‘What do you think?’ Freddie asked quietly, nudging your shoulder as he passed Mason his own copy but you were eager to see more of what was inside.

‘It looks amazing’

‘Yeah I’m not bad am I’ you heard Mason murmur next to you causing you to giggle but you couldn’t disagree with him. He looked gorgeous.

Every picture looked better than the last and even though it was a struggle, you were trying not to look at his face. Wanting to look at what he was wearing and all the changes you’d made but as you flicked through to the last page you felt your heart stutter.

‘Wait what’s that?’ You mumbled. Your voice slightly shaken as you read over what you thought you’d seen and no matter how much you blinked it didn’t go away.

‘What’s what?’ Freddie asked and when you looked up to him he was looking back with a knowing smile.

‘Is that my name?’ You whispered, pointing down to where it was written in black and white and it was almost like you were in a dream.

‘Of course it is’ Freddie smiled, shrugging his shoulder like it was nothing but to you it meant everything.

‘But Freddie I didn’t-‘

‘You saved my bacon, it’s the least I could do’ he told you sincerely and before you knew it you’d launched yourself at him. Hugging him tightly and he held you back knowing how big this was for the both of you. ‘Now you’re published, you can help me on my next shoot, right?’ He laughed, pulling away and ruffling your hair a bit but you didn’t even mind. You were too over the moon with everything to care.

‘Really?’

‘I’ll set us up a meeting, yeah? I wanna get your input. I think you and me are gonna make a pretty good team’

‘Oh Freddie, this changes everything for me, you know that right?’ You told him. Your bottom lip wobbling as you were so overcome with emotion but you held it in as best as you could.

‘I know kid’ he told you sincerely as you felt your eyes well with tears. You didn’t want him to see you this emotional though so you flung your arms around his shoulders so you could hide away but you felt his chuckle as he pulled you in and swayed you from side to side a bit. ‘Come on, don’t get upset. You don’t wanna be known as the office cryer’ he joked. Pulling away from you so you could wipe your eyes but you weren’t alone for too long. Mason wrapping his arms around your shoulders from behind and settling his cheek on top of your head as you melted into him.

‘We should celebrate’ Mason smiled and you nodded enthusiastically before his eyes fell to Freddie but from the sour look he was giving you you knew he wouldn’t be able to make it.

‘I can’t mate, I’ve got a date with the old ball and chain tonight’ Freddie winked but you just rolled your eyes. You hadn’t met his girlfriend Lex yet but Freddie always spoke about her like the sun shone out of her arse so you knew he was just playing.

‘Just you and me then?’ He questioned. Looking down at you before moving you to the side and even though you wanted to shout yes you also didn’t want to come across as too eager. ‘Come on, let me buy you dinner for making me look so good’ he asked and you couldn’t help but giggle.

‘Okay’ you smiled, watching his face light up as you nodded and suddenly you were filled with nerves.

‘Perfect. I’ll pick you up after work yeah? When you you finish?’

‘I can be out of here by five’

‘Okay I’ll meet you out the front’ he smiled warmly and even if you wanted to reply you could. Freddie announcing he needed Mason in one of the dressing rooms to try some things on and you knew you needed to get on with your emails so you let him go.

It was at times like this you were grateful you kept a little makeup bag at work. Slipping off to the toilets so you could spruce yourself up a bit before Mason came to get you and thankfully he came right back into your office to escort you back down to his car. Freddie waving you off like a proud parent but you just rolled your eyes at him.

The place Mason had picked wasn’t so fancy that you felt out of place but it was definitely one of the nicer places you’d ever been to. The pair of you next to each other in a round booth so you could hear the other and even though you could tell he was a little bit shy, he still gave you good eye contact which in turn was making you feel shyer than you had in a long time.

‘So you know Woody, right?’ He asked as the waiter left with your orders. ‘I spoke to him the other day and he mentioned he speaks to you sometimes’

‘Yeah I’ve met him once and we’ve emailed a bit, he’s a cute kid’ you smiled but the look on his face made you realise what you’d said.

‘Don’t let him hear you say that’ he laughed, your face burning instantly that you’d called him that in front of his best friend but from the way Mason was laughing you knew it would be fine.

‘Sorry, Freddie keeps calling me kid and it’s stuck but I know the feeling it makes me furious. Please don’t tell him I said that’

‘Secrets safe with me’ he winked and you felt your face warm.

The conversation flowed easily and he grew with confidence as the time passed. Making silly jokes that had you laughing more than you had in a while and it was so nice to see him come out of his shell a little bit and be the cheeky boy you’d come to know from videos online.

‘Any exciting plans coming up that I can crash?’ He asked, sending you a wink and your heart fluttered at his cute little face.

‘Not really, I’m trying to book myself onto some jobs and make some connections so I’m hoping that will be a little easier now’ you told him, watching him nod understandingly as you wracked your brain to think of something else that didn’t make you sound so boring. ‘Oh I’ve got a work trip coming up with some of the guys too in a couple of months but I think it’s just an excuse for a holiday in all honesty’

‘Malta right?’

‘How did you know?’ You smiled, watching his cheeks and nose flush as he smiled sweetly.

‘Woodys going, he extended the invite actually since I know most of you lot going but I wasn’t sure since he’s taking his girlfriend’ he huffed, rolling his eyes like he was annoyed his best friend had been stolen from him. ‘I didn’t wanna be the third wheel but now I know you’ll be there I may reconsider’ he winked ‘Unless you’ve got a boyfriend you’re taking… or girlfriend you know, whatever floats your boat’

‘No I don't have a boyfriend to take… or a girlfriend’ you laughed. ‘I’m not even sure I want to go, the other two girls are like thing one and two so I know I’ll be on my own and Freddie’s taking his girlfriend so he’s not gonna be around much on the off days’

‘All the more reasons for me to come then’ he winked and you couldn’t deny the idea excited you.

‘Mason you’ve known me three weeks’

‘Exactly so I’ve still got so much to learn and what an amazing time to do it’ he laughed, but you noticed after his face fell a little bit. ‘If you don’t want me to I won't come’

‘Don’t pull out on my account’ you laughed, feeling slightly bad for making him feel not welcome. ‘What will you do while we’re at the event though?’

‘There’s a training camp not too far, it’s a good excuse for some warm weather training’ he shrugged and you could tell he was a little disappointed by your reaction.

‘I suppose it’ll be nice to have someone to sit with at dinner’ you mused, watching his face light up knowing you wanted him there and wouldn’t turn him away.

‘So you’ll let me come?’ He asked quietly.

‘It’s not my decision’ you laughed ‘But if it was then yes I’d let you’

‘Consider me there then’ he laughed before changing the subject. Gushing about how well you’d done at the shoot and how he loved all the changes you’d made. Asking if maybe the pair of you could work on some things together that Freddie couldn’t fit in and the thought of getting to dress Mason excited you more than you thought it should.

Mason dropped you home at the end of the night, refusing to let you walk up to your flat alone and just as he was saying goodby you lent up to kiss his cheek to say thank you. Clearly he wasn’t expecting it and you watched as his face softened when you pulled away and you could have sworn he was blushing a little bit. Bidding you a quick goodbye like he was nervous and once you’d shut your door you couldn’t help but smile at how adorable he was.

A knock on your door a few moments after made you laugh as you knew it could only be him and when you opened the door back up to Mason standing there awkwardly as you sent him a bright smile.

‘You forget something?’

‘Could I um… could I maybe get your number?’ He gulped ‘I was gonna ask Freddie for it but that felt a bit lame and intrusive’

Considering Mason was a footballer you couldn’t get over how nervous and shy he was around you. This wasn’t the same boy you’d met a few weeks ago posing for the camera but you loved that he had a soft side like this that he was willing to show you so you quickly nodded and held your hand out for his phone which he unlocked for you.

Once he was ready to go again It was his turn to kiss your cheek this time and you knew he was terrified. Bolting away as soon as his lips touched your skin and you stood there giggling as he practically ran away from you.

You kept in touch over text, Freddie and Mason working on a few more things together as he had some events to go to and thus sometimes you’d see him in the office. He would always stop by for a quick hug and a chat though and each time you saw him your cheeks would ache more and more.

Having a crush on a footballer wasn’t something that was on your bingo card for this year but it seemed to have hit you like a truck. Every time his name popped up on your phone your chest felt warm and he made you laugh like no one else. Every picture that he sent you made your tummy flutter and you were certain you’d never seen a man as pretty as him before.

You knew how you felt about Mason, and you were pretty sure he felt the same. Always seeking you out when he could and it didn’t help with comments from Freddie all the time. Telling you both to get a room or just kiss already and the fact Mason would wink at you everytime let you know it was something he maybe actually wanted.

You’d managed to hang out with him for longer too. Freddie inviting you along for dinner with Mason to talk about another shoot that was coming up but when Freddie’s girlfriend showed up too, you felt like you were on a double date. Her giving you the eyes like she knew something was going on but in reality nothing was. The fact this was the first time you’d met her and she was already picking up on the vibe satisfied you though as clearly others could see what you already knew.

You were typing away at your desk the next morning when your phone buzzed. Masons face popping up on your screen with a picture you’d taken of him at drinks the week prior and his silly smile still made your heart flutter like the first time you’d seen it.

You knew Freddie was on his way over so you quickly locked your phone but because Mason never wanted to be the last one to send a text, his name was flashing up soon after he’d joined you and you knew his eyes had caught his name immediately. Raising his brows at you accusingly but you just looked away and pretended to get on with some work.

‘So you and Mason, huh?’ Freddie started, clearly not wanting to let you drop the subject but you kept your eyes fixated on your screen as you typed up some notes for an upcoming shoot.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’

‘Yes you do’ he laughed, your face warming instantly. ‘You know as much as I invited you out for dinner with me and Lex so we could discuss ideas I also did it because I know you both need a kick the bum’

‘Since when when do you meddle in my love life’

‘Since I can see two people who are clearly crazy about each other. Why don’t you take the plunge and tell him, I’ve never known you to not speak your mind’ he told you and his words hit home. Why hadn’t you said anything to him?

‘Freddie I can’t’ you huffed. Knowing he was right and you were never one to shy away from telling someone how you felt but this was different. This was Mason.

‘Look if you don't want to then I won’t push you but he fancies the pants off you’ he shrugged, looking at whatever was in his hands so you couldn’t tell if he was joking or not but when he eventually looked over at your confused face he gave you a reassuring smile. ‘Its true, told me himself that first day you met when you went back to the office before dinner. Why do you think I saved you that seat?’

‘You’re lying’

‘I would never lie to you. He’s just a bit shy around you, that's all yeah? I bet if you were to talk to him about it he’d tell you’ he said nonchalantly like the thought of opening yourself up like that to someone wasn't terrifying.

‘I don’t want things to be weird’

‘They won’t be. I’m not saying you’ve got to marry him but just go on a few dates or something. Get to know him properly. He’s a good guy y/n, and you’d be good for him’ he smiled.

Mason wouldn’t tell you where you were going but told you to dress as nice as you usually do which made you giggle like a schoolgirl. He was unbelievably charming without even really trying and the more you thought about what Freddie had said to you the week prior the more you knew he was right. You were both dancing around the subject and if all Mason needed was a little push then you'd be more than happy to point him in the right direction.

When the night eventually arrived you tried to act as normal as you could with him, but Freddie’s words were replaying in your head. Did he really like you or was he just saying that in hopes you’d both figure it out along the way? Wanting the pair of you to be happy so he was trying to play Cupid but soon after you had sat down those thoughts vanished. Mason being his cheeky but charming self and you caught each other up on the last few weeks.

You never managed to pluck up the courage to speak to him about his feelings at dinner but now you were aware of what he might feel for you, you picked up on the subtle signs that made you think he was into you.

The way he would touch your back and lean into you as you made your way into the restaurant. Pulling your chair out for you as you took a seat before squeezing your shoulders gently. The way his eyes flickered between your eyes and lips as you spoke, hanging off every word you told him and you knew he was listening intently.

When it was time to leave he offered to drop you home just like usual and the urge to grab his hand and hold it on the way back to the car was overwhelming. You settled for him placing his arm around your shoulder though and when you wrapped yours around his waist he held you tighter.

‘Would you like to come in?’ You asked him as he parked up in his usual spot. Your voice full of nerves as you were unsure but he just nodded and smiled before unclipping his seat belt and the nerves hit you in full force as you walked him into your building and up to your flat. ‘Sorry it’s tiny here’ you laughed. Suddenly embarrassed by having him in your space knowing what he probably at home but he just smiled and pulled you into his arms.

‘Hey come here, what up?’ He asked, giving you a quick squeeze before he looked at you again but all you could do was shrug your shoulders.

‘I don’t know’

‘You seem nervous’ he teased and as hard as you tried to stop it you knew your cheeks were on fire.

‘Sorry, just not used to having boys here’

‘It’s only me’ he smiled sweetly, but he didn’t realise that that was the problem.

‘Yeah I know’ you laughed, rolling your eyes before pushing him in the direction on your sofa. ’Make yourself comfy, can I get you a drink or anything?’

‘Waters fine’ he nodded but once you’d returned to him and sat down he was still looking at you with a cheeky smile. ‘What are you doing all the way over there? You’re too far away’ he laughed, holding his hand out for you so you could sit next to him and you let him drag you along the sofa until you were giggling like school kids.

It was only when you both stopped laughing did you realise you needed to say something before you burst. Tucking your legs under your body as you looked at him and it must have been a strange look as you watched him look at you with terror written all over his face.

‘Mason? What would you do if I told you I liked you. Like like liked you’ you asked him, your voice steady as you looked right at him but as soon as the words left your lips he was looking in his lap with a smile and bright red cheeks

‘I��d tell you I like liked you too’ he replied quietly. A sense of relief washing over you and it was also as if you couldn't believe it.

‘Yeah?’

‘Of course’ he giggled. Finding the courage to look back at you again and it was like the pair of you were overflowing with joy. Reaching for the others hands as you lent into each other

‘Mason, I do really like you-‘

‘Oh here it comes’ he laughed, squeezing your hand gently and even though he sounded a little annoyed you could tell he was just playing. ‘Here comes the but’

‘What?’ You giggled, unsure as to what he was getting at but his smile was infectious and you couldn't help but laugh along.

‘I can tell it’s coming from the tone of your voice. ‘I really like you but, you’re a great person but’. Come on then, what’s the but? Break my heart, let’s get it over with’

‘I like you, but I have rules’ you confirmed and you watched his face change immediately.

‘Rules?’ He questioned, clearly not expecting that to come from your lips and you thought how his confused face was adorable.

‘Yes, rules. I’m not the sort of girl to jump right into things okay? I like to take my time and make sure it’s right and that we’re both on the same page. Like what are you looking for exactly?’

‘With you?’ He asked. His eyebrows shooting up at the prospect of having to tell you how he felt but you needed to hear it from him so you both could start at the same place.

‘Yeah. Like what do you see me as? Cause if it’s just sex or something casual that’s not me. I know myself and I’ll just get swept up and hurt so we might as well be honest from the start’

‘Well that’s definitely not what I see you as’ he told you quietly, his face as red as a tomato at the mention of sex and you found his slightly awkward demeanour endearing. ‘I like hanging out with you, and I want to see where things take us’ he told you, but you could tell he was finding it hard to admit his feelings. Thinking maybe it was best you took the lead and laid your cards out on the table for him to follow.

‘I like hanging out with you too’ you smiled watching his shoulders relax as he sent you a shy smile. ‘I think we should hang out some more, like maybe go on an actual date and see what happens’

‘Okay’ he nodded ‘yeah let’s do it’

‘Perfect. Okay rule number two: I also like to keep my business private, you know? That doesn't mean we need to be secretive about whatever might be happening but I just want it kept between us. If I’m in a relationship with someone I want it to be with them and keep it for us rather than share it with everyone. Does that sound okay?’

‘Sounds like music to my ears’ he laughed before taking your hand and pulling you in further to his side. ‘Look I like you okay? I really like you and I’m happy to go with the flow and see where things take us. I’m good at going at whatever pace you want. No pressure or anything, okay?’

‘Okay’ you nodded, thankful he was starting to be able to talk about this a bit more freely. ‘So what do you want?’

‘I want to take you on a date. Many dates in fact’ he laughed and you fell forward into his chest as you tried to hide your giggles in his neck. ‘I want to get to know you better, but from what I know so far I’d say you’re pretty perfect for me’ he divulged and the thought of him thinking that about you already made your heart thump. Wanting to change the subject quickly before you got carried away and declared your undying love for him.

‘Are you… taking other girls on dates? Cause I don’t play those sorts of games’

‘I feel like I’m in a job interview’ he laughed, tickling your side as you squirmed further into his body and you couldn’t get over the feel of it under your fingers. This was the closest the pair of you had been for a long period of time and all you could think about was getting to wrap yourself around him more often ‘But no, I’m not taking other girls on dates. Haven’t been involved with anyone in months actually, I'm a free man. What about you anyway?

‘Too busy with work for dates’ you shrugged. Sitting up to look at him as you were now practically in his lap and all you wanted was to look at his pretty eyes up close.

‘But not too busy for me?’

‘Of course not’ you whispered. ‘Look I’m sorry for all the questions I just like to know where I stand’

‘It’s okay, I like it. It makes it easier knowing what we both want’

‘Well I’m big on communication’ you winked as you grabbed the zip of his jacket to play with and the smile he sent you made your tummy flutter.

‘I can see that. Look, I’m not here to mess you about okay? I like spending time with you and I want to get to know you more. As for all the other stuff I’ll leave that up to you’ he winked. ‘Like when you’re ready and you think the time is right to move onto the next step I’ll be ready to go’

‘Yeah?’

‘Of course. You know I think you’re gorgeous, but don’t tell anyone’ he whispered playfully, tickling your side lightly to tease you but the fact he’d admitted to finding you attractive made you flush.

‘Masonnnn’ you groaned. Trying to hide again as he laughed but he finally wrapped his arms around you fully and you felt yourself relax into his chest.

‘It’s true. Thought it as soon as I saw you. You never saw them but there’s a few shots of me I made then delete from when you first walked in and I was stiff as fuck’ he laughed and even though you knew he didn’t mean it in that way you still looked up at him with a brow raised in disgust.

‘Not like that,’ he laughed. His face going a bright red as he hid his face in your hair and it wasn’t long before you were both giggling again. You tried to move to get him to look at you but he wouldn’t budge.

‘Mason look at me’

‘No I’m embarrassed’ he laughed. ‘I meant like, nervous stiff. They had to tell me to relax my shoulders cause I’d clammed up’

‘Sure’ you winked, watching him roll his eyes as he knew that was something for you to tease him about now. ‘Okay so let’s go on a date’

‘Okay’ he smiled. ‘I’ll think of something good I promise. I have one condition about this whole thing though’

‘What’s that?’

‘When the time is right and you wanna make things official, like if we get there, please can you let me ask you? Like just give me a sign and I’ll make it special for us’

‘What sort of sign?’ you giggled, your cheeks turning red at the thought of him wanting to be official with you at some point but he just shrugged his shoulders.

‘I don’t know, poke me in the ribs or something?’

‘You’re insane’ you laughed, tucking your head into his neck so you could hide but when you wrapped each other up into your arms you felt a sense of peace that you hadn’t felt in a long time wash over you.

Mason couldn’t stay too much longer, having an early morning training session he had to get ready for so you walked him to the door with a pout.

‘So I’ll text you, yeah?’ He asked as you got the door and you sent him a wide grin.

‘You better’ you winked. Watching the corners of his mouth lift into a warm smile before he was leaning down to kiss your cheek just like usual.

There was something different about it this time though, his lips lingering in your skin just that bit longer which gave you the opportunity to raise your hand. Cupping the back of his head so that when he did try to pull away he couldn’t get too far and soon enough his lips were mere centimetres from your own.

You directed his movements and brought him down for your first kiss. Lips, soft and warm, slotting against each others like you’d kissed a million times before as you pressed your body against his even more. Mason's heart thrumming against your hand that was positioned on his chest and it almost matched your own heartbeat that was pounding in your ears.

You never wanted to stop kissing him. Slowly testing the waters as you inched your tongue past his lips but he was more than happy to reciprocate. A content hum falling from his as you played with each other slowly but when he playfully nibbled on your bottom lip you felt your knees go weak. Thankfully he was holding onto you tightly and when you reluctantly pulled away he was looking at you in awe. Lips plump and pink and you couldn’t resist going back in for seconds.

Mason wasn’t in the mood to keep it soft this time. Backing you up against the door as you gripped his shoulders and the vice-like grip on your waist excited you. Kissing you with as much passion as he could muster until you were both moaning into each other's mouths deliciously .

It was Mason that broke the kiss suddenly. Both of your breathing was laboured as he kissed your forehead gently and when you looked back to his face you were both blushing furiously.

‘Sorry’ he chuckled, pressing one more kiss to your lips before pulling away slightly. ‘I should get going’

‘Okay’ you pouted. Knowing it was right for him to go but now you’d finally kissed him all you could think about was kissing him again. ‘Text me when you’re home please’

‘Of course’ he smiled and with one final peck to his pouty lips you let him go.

You let Mason organise your first date, him not really giving you any clues as he wanted it to be a surprise but he promised it wouldn’t be just dinner as you guys had done that a few times before. He told you to dress fairly casually, which you did, and when he picked you up in a grey hoodie and a pair of green cargos you were reminded of how much you loved what he wore every time you’d seen him and the way he managed to make everyday outfits look just that little bit better.

You ended up at treetop mini golf. A place you’d been eying up to go to for ages and you wondered how he knew but in the end you realise it was just a coincidence. You were more than excited though and clearly he was using all his training from actual golf to help as he was winning by a mile.

‘Mase?’ You pouted after his third hole in one. ‘Do you think you could help me?’

‘Of course I can’ he smiled charmingly. ‘What would you like help with?

‘Can you show me how you do it?’ You asked, biting your lip as you reached out a hand for him and once he’d taken it you pulled him over to stand behind you as you wrapped his arms around you. ‘Show me how to swing’

You could tell he was nervous, the warmth of his chest pressed up against your back and it was like you could feel his heart hammering against you before he began to whisper in your ear.

‘Bend your knees a little bit, and arch your back slightly-‘

‘Mason please, were in public’ you teased, and you knew he was embarrassed. Wrapping his arms around you tightly as he buried his head in your neck to stop the laughs but the pair of you were giggling like school children.

‘You’re killing me’

‘Ahh, my plan is working’ you teased. Spinning in his arms so you could face him and you couldn’t stop yourself from giving him a quick kiss. The first one of the night and you could tell he’d been waiting a while for it as he kissed you with a smile and sighed into your mouth.

y/n recently added to their stories

It was your 5th date that fell a week before your trip. Mason had treated you to all sorts of adventures from axe throwing to a drive-in movie but today's outing was a little bit more laid back. Mason currently having Ace for a few days and you knew he needed lots of walks so you met him at the local park to grab a coffee and let Ace have a run around.

It was you that took his hand in yours but him who laced your fingers together and squeezed them gently. Letting you know he was more than happy to hold your hand just like usual he just needed you to make that first move sometimes and when he sent you a toothy lopsided grin you felt your heart stutter.

‘Listen I wanted to talk to you about something’ you told him, watching him raise his brow at you over his cup as he took a sip and you weren’t quite sure how he was going to take what you were about to say. ‘It's about the trip next week’

‘You’re still alright with me going, yeah? Cause you can tell me if you’re not i don’t mind-‘

‘No I want you there I promise’ you laughed, cutting him off as you could see he was about to spiral. ‘I was just wondering if we could maybe keep things on the down low a little while we’re there?’ You asked and you didn’t wait for a reaction before you began explaining yourself. ‘If it was a friends holiday then it would be different it’s just cause I’ll be there with people I work with and that doesn’t mean I want you to keep away from me, like we can still hang out just the two of us-

‘Hey it’s okay’ he laughed. Reaching down to pop a quick kiss on your forehead. ‘I get it, don’t worry

‘Are you sure, I don’t want you to think I don’t want to be seen with you’

‘I don’t think that, gorgeous’ he smiled. ‘It makes perfect sense to me, okay? You don't need to worry’ he confirmed. Squeezing your hand once more to make you believe him and after you sent him a gentle nod he pulled you into his side even further to give you a cuddle. ‘Are you busy for the rest of today?’

‘Never too busy for you, Mason’

‘Come back to mine after? Just for a little bit’ he asked and the idea of being alone with him in his house excited you. Since you were taking things slowly you’d never been to his house but now seemed like a good time and you thought it was cute how he didn’t want to part from you.

‘Okay’ you whispered. Nerves taking over you slightly but when you pulled up to his house, it was even more than you could have imagined. It was humongous, each room decorated perfectly and it’s like he had everything you could ever want and more so after making a pit stop in the kitchen for drinks and snacks, he led you to his huge sofa so you could pick out a movie and relax a bit.

You sat cuddled up in the corner of the sofa as you spoke about next week with the movie as just background noise now. Mason insisting that he’d pick you up in the morning to take you to the airport and you didn’t have the energy to argue with him. It had been a long afternoon and Ace had knackered you out so when Mason shuffled the pair of you down and brought you into his arms you let yourself cuddle into him even more.

‘If you’re not careful, I might just fall for you, Mount’ you told him quietly. Feeling more comfortable and content than you had in the longest time and the quiet rumble of his chest under your ear made you smile.

‘Well if you’re not careful, I might catch you’ he whispered softly against your forehead. Placing a gentle kiss there as you nestled your nose into the soft skin of his neck and you felt the butterflies swarm. Truth was you knew you were already falling for him and had been for a while, you just needed to grow a pair and give him the sign that you were ready to take things further.

That could wait for new though. Right now you felt safe and warm in his arms as he lightly trailed his fingers over your waist and as much as you wanted to kiss him, you also felt like you might not be able to stop yourself from taking things further this time.

‘I could get used to this, you’re comfy’ you told him quietly and you knew he’d heard you but he was too shy to reply. Holding you tighter as you felt your body go heavy and let the sleep finally take you.

A week later, Mason picked you up along the way in the morning to take you to the airport. Helping you get your bags in the Uber before you popped a quick kiss to his lips and once again your favourite blush spread across his cheeks.

Most people were there by the time you arrived, the pair of you quickly saying hello to everyone before he reintroduced you to Woody who in turn introduced you to his girlfriend, Kaz. She seemed sweet and you were glad you would have another girl to hang out with alongside Lex as the only other two girls you knew were Lindsay and Louise. Freddie had always referred to them as thing one and two as they tended to stick together and as much as you loved Freddie, sometimes you needed some girl company.

You and Mason managed to take yourselves off away from everyone. Sitting on your own so you could talk quietly and get ready for the flight you knew Mason was a bit nervous for but the sudden sound of a boy shouting made the two of you snap your heads up. Mason's face turning sour instantly as the boy made his rounds to say hello to a few of the guys and it was then you noticed Mason shuffling uncomfortably in his seat.

‘I didn’t know he was coming’

‘Who’s that?’ You asked. Not having seen him around before so you presumed he was from the London office but you were curious as to why Mason was reacting like this.

‘Thats Carl, he’s worked with Woody on a few things’

‘Do you know him well?’

‘Use to’ he shrugged but you didn’t have a chance to reply as Carl made his way over to the pair of you. His eyes flashing to Mason’s hand that was clasped around yours before he looked right at you and the sly smirk he sent your way made your skin crawl.

‘Mason, long time no see man. How’s things’ he asked. Mason jumping up so they could pat each other on the back but you could tell from Masons posture he didn’t want to be near him that much.

‘Good mate, you?’

‘Yeah really good thanks’ he nodded and before you knew it he was motioning towards you. ‘Who’s this pretty little thing?’

‘I’m y/n’ you told him after a quick roll of your eyes. Not wanting to cause a scene and call him out for his stupid comment but you could see his face change as soon as you told him your name. An impressed expression overtaking his features and you wondered why.

‘Ah y/n I’ve seen some of your stuff floating around. You’re pretty good’

‘Oh… oh thank you’ you told him. A sense of pride filling you at the fact people were not starting to see your work and you returned his bright smile.

‘Yeah even managed to make this one look good’ he laughed, motioning over to Mason. ‘I’ve tried a few times I know how hard it is’ he teased. Feeling Mason stiffening besides you as Carl tried to make a joke at his expense but you wouldn’t let that happen on your watch.

‘Oh really? I thought it was really easy’ you shrugged. Turning back to Mason who was giving you a shy smile and you could tell he was thankful for you sticking up for him a bit. ‘I won’t be a sec, I'm going to the loo’ you told him. Kissing his cheek quickly before standing up and you left without giving Carl and other glance.

‘Finally got yourself some then huh?’ Carl laughed and Mason could feel his blood boiling at the way he was speaking about you. Not wanting to fully divulge and tell him exactly what the pair of you were as he knew what he was like so he just shrugged his shoulders and tried to act unbothered by him.

‘It's not like that’

‘Oh she’s not yours then? So I don’t mind if I have a crack?’

‘Carl, it’s so good to see you’ Woody interrupted and Mason was thankful he’d stepped in. Knowing Mason would have probably exploded if he hadn’t have. It was one thing Carl making jibes about him but a whole other issue when he was speaking about you and he realised at that moment this was about to be a long trip.

‘Gates ready!’ Freddie called and with one final wink at Mason, Carl was walking off to find the others leaving him standing there to stew. Wondering if he even wanted to go away with everyone now but once he saw you walking back towards him with that beautiful smile on your face he realised you were his reason to stay.

‘Mase, you ready?’ You asked, your voice laced with concern as you could see something had changed with him.

‘Yeah I’ll meet you there’

‘It’s okay I’ll wait with you’ you smiled, trying to get him to smile at you but once you realised he wouldn’t you placed your hand on his arm to get him to look at you. ‘Are you alright?’

‘I’m fine’ he breathed, his eyes scanning the room to see if anyone from your group was left and once he was satisfied it was just the two of you he pulled you in for a tight hug. ‘I know we said we’d keep things on the down low a bit but I just need a quick cuddle‘

‘Oh Mase’ you whispered, feeling the way he clung to you so tightly a little concerning and the thought of this being the last proper hug you might share for a while upset you and even though it was you who set the boundaries in the first place you were ready to tear them up for him. ‘I know it was my choice but we don’t have to keep things on the down low’

‘No?’

‘Not if you don’t want to. I don't think I’ll be able to handle it and i'm pretty sure everyone knows what’s going on’ you giggled but you felt him relax as you spoke.

‘Well most people do at least’ he whispered but he didn’t have a chance to elaborate as Freddie was back calling you both to hurry up so you grabbed your bags and made your way to the queue to board. Reaching out to hold Mason's pinkie with your own and the smile he sent you made your tummy flip.

The flight was fine but you didn’t arrive at your hotel until late afternoon and once you were unpacked you made the short trip down the corridor to meet Mason. Most if you had decided to do your own thing for dinner tonight however Mason had invited you along to dinner with him, Woody and his girlfriend Kaz so you could get to know each other a bit and you were grateful to be able to see him in act so confidently around his friends and show you this new side of him.

Ever the gentleman, Mason walked you to your room that night and after a pretty heavy kiss by the door you bid each other goodnight. Mason letting you know he’d message you when he woke up so you could see when you wanted to head to the pool and as soon as your head hit the pillow you were out like a light.

‘Hey gorgeous’ he smiled, opening the door and popping a kiss on your cheek but you were quick to reach up and kiss him properly, feeling him chuckle onto your lips and it was all worth it for the shy smile he gave you when you pulled apart.

‘Morning Mase’

‘I’ve booked us into the hotel restaurant, no idea what the others are doing’ he shrugged as he shut his door but you just took his hand and let him lead you away.

‘How did you do that? I tried and they were full’

‘I have my ways’ he winked. Subtly letting you know he could probably get you anything you wanted but you loved the way he wasn’t flashy with it.

The food in the hotel was better than you had expected and when the pair of you were done, you made your way out to the pool. Thankfully only Freddie and Lex were out there and as you walked into his eyeline, Freddie waved you over and patted the double sun lounger next to him.

‘Morning love birds, I saved you a spot’

‘There’s no one else out here’ you laughed, dropping your bag on the seat and looking around but it was still only around 10am and most of the loungers were empty.

‘Where have you been?’

‘Breakfast’

‘What here?’ Freddie asked, his eyebrows shooting up as you nodded. ‘They said they were fully booked’

‘Apparently they make room for you if your names Mason Mount’ you joked, looking behind to see him standing there awkwardly on the other side of the lounger as if he didn’t want to presume you’d sit next to him but after a subtle nod of your head his shoulders relaxed.

You didn’t waste anymore time, wanting to get undressed to soak up the sun so you quickly slipped yourself out of your dress and packed it away before grabbing your book and when your eyes flashed over to Mason you felt like you might have to pick his jaw up off the floor.

Mason had never seen you in so little before, and you’d worn this bikini on purpose as you knew it accentuated all your best bits, and it was red, but you had no idea it would have garnered this reaction from him. Even from behind his sunglasses you could see his eyes were all over you as his tongue practically fell from his mouth so you rounded the lounger to stand in front of him but only when you touched his shoulders did he reach out to touch you.

Your knees buckled as soon as his fingertips touched the back of your thighs but thankfully he was able to steer you onto his lap and as you sat on his leg he moved his hands to your waist. Your skin tingling in their wake as he touched parts of you he’d never seen before and even though Mason could be shy and reserved about his feelings, this was the best indication you’d ever had that he found you attractive.

He was looking at you through his glasses but you missed his pretty brown eyes so you carefully pushed them up so you could see them again. Watching as the sun reflected in them so they looked like deep pots of honey and the creases around his eyes made your heart thump as he smiled at you. He was looking at you so softly and you couldn't help but reach down to kiss him as it was only Freddie and Lex out here and you knew they didn’t care and probably were even looking.

‘You’re so fucking hot’ he breathed against your lips and his words excited you as he squeezed your sides. His potty mouth making you giggle but you were glad you had saved yourself from showing him your body until now just for this reaction. ‘You’re making this impossible for me’

‘Sorry Mase’ you giggled feeling him slip his thumb under the waistband of your bottoms so he could hold your bum and even though he was pushing it you let him. ‘I wore red just for you’

‘I bet you did’ he grinned, pulling you back in for a kiss that made you want to abandon all your morals and take him back to your room, but you held strong. Pulling away gently even though you didn’t want to.

‘Speaking of hot, it’s boiling out here. Did you make sure to put sunscreen on?’ You asked. Slightly trying to distract the pair of you from a heated make out session and Mason sent you a smug smile as he realised what you were doing.

‘I did, just not on my back my arms don’t reach’ he joked, giggles falling from both your lips at the thought of him trying to do it.

‘Come on then I’ll help you you smiled. Kissing him once before before getting up off his lap and just as you’d got your sun cream from your bag he’d whipped his shirt off.

There were pictures of Mason's body online that you’d seen recently and you thought he might be in pretty good shape but it was nothing compared to the actual thing. His chest and tummy covered with a light smattering of hair that was driving you insane but his defined abs and strong arms were more sexy to you than anything else until he turned around to flash you his back dimples.

You took your time rubbing his cream in for him but it was mainly just an excuse to touch him. Planning a kiss in between his shoulder blades when you realised it had been long enough before the pair of you flopped back onto the lounger. Pinkies intertwined once more as you soaked up the sun but it was around 45 minutes later when you realised you needed to cool off

‘Do you fancy going for a swim?’ You asked him, watching his brows raise above his galssss questioningly but he was quick to take them off and help you up so you could get in together. You taking the safe option and walking over to the steps but just as you turned to get you watched Mason dive bomb in.

‘That's colder than I thought it would be’ he chuckled after he came up for air, wading his way over to help you in fully but after a few moments of swimming you’d had enough and wanted him to carry you.

He wasn’t shocked when you came over and placed your hands on his shoulders but you knew he was unsure as to where to put his hands when you wrapped your legs around his waist.

‘Hold my waist’ you giggled as you knew he needed a little direction. ‘Are you blushing Mr Mount?’

‘Never’ he chuckled, pulling you impossibly closer and he tucked his head into your neck. Inhaling deeply before looking back at you and you knew what he was about to ask before he did it.

‘Can I kiss you?’

‘You don’t have to ask’

‘I’m just checking’ he laughed. Bumping his nose against yours before he kissed you softly and you knew he was about to pull away quicker than you wanted him to so you cupped the back of his head and deepened it before he got a chance.

You stayed in the pool longer than you’d first intended to. Mason requesting that you race him a few times before he popped you on his back and you used to opportunity to cover his cheeks in kisses until he swung you back round to his front so you could hold each other again.

You were so calm and tranquil in Masons arms that the sound of someone shouting made you jump. You could feel Mason had tensed too and when you both looked over to the source of the noise Mason didn’t relax at all. If anything he clung to you tighter as Carl and his little gaggle of girls made their way over to sit with Freddie and it was like Mason's demeanour switched before your eyes.

‘You okay?’ You whispered, watching him shrink into himself a little but with a quick kiss to his lips he was nodding gently. ‘Shall we get out and get dry?’

You were both soon out. Sitting back next to Freddie but the opposite side of Carl and you noticed how even after he was dry he still had his towel around his shoulders. You didn’t say anything at first but after you’d reapplied your sunscreen you figured he might want some more too however he was still wrapped up.

‘You want me to oil you up?’ You joked, waving the suncream in his face and even though he laughed he shook his head at you.

‘No thanks, I’ll probably put my shirt on again in a sec’

‘What? Why?’ You asked but he didn’t answer so you took it upon yourself to crawl over into his lap and when his hand squeezed your thigh you sent him a cheeky smile.

‘You know for someone who wanted to keep things on the down low you’re very touchy’

‘Well you should stop being so irresistible then’ you joked watching his face flush. ‘You can put your top back on if you want but has something happened? You were fine before?’

‘It’s nothing, I’m just being silly’

‘No it’s okay. I’m just thinking about you, you know? The last thing you want is a T-shirt tan’ you winked and the small laugh that fell from his lips made you feel accomplished.

‘Somethings telling me that’s not the only reason’

‘I mean yeah I’ve got eyes Mase’ you chuckled, watching him try to hold back a smirk and from the way his eyes dropped to your lips you knew he wanted to kiss you.

His kisses were becoming more than addictive. Slow and sweet as he stroked his tongue against yours but it was the feeling of his thumbs brushing against your back that was making you shiver. Cupping his jaw so he couldn’t pull away from you but the loud and obnoxious laughs of Carl and the girls were going through you like nails on a chalkboard.

‘Would you like an ice-cream?’ You asked him as you pulled away, his face turning into one of confused amusement before he let out a little laugh.

‘It’s 11:30’

‘Exactly, we need to start early to get in as many as we can’ you told him. ‘Come on we can go for a walk or something after I just need some peace’ you smiled at him, knowing he needed the same so you quickly popped on a coverup as he chucked his shirt back on before taking his hand and leading him away from everyone else.

You knew the hotel had a rooftop bar and after some careful searching you managed to find it. Thankfully it was quiet up there and after grabbing you both an ice cream you took a seat next to him and placed your hand on his thigh.

‘The view up here is crazy’ you commented, looking out over the hotel grounds and to the beach but little did you know Mason had something else in his eyeline.

‘Yeah not too bad from here either’ he said softly, looking back at you with literal heart eyes and when you winked back at him he just laughed.

‘Cheeky’ you commented, nudging your shoulder with his. ‘We can stay away from everyone else today if you’d like’

‘No don’t be silly. I mean I love it when it’s just us but you’re meant to be here with them’

‘I’ve got the two days with them solidly Mase, I want to be with you’

‘C’mere then’ he whispered. Pulling you further into his side before resting his head on top of yours as you nuzzled into his neck. His scent overtaking your senses but all you could do was squeeze him harder until he was laughing. ‘I still can’t believe what you’re wearing’

You’d never seen him look at you like this before. It wasn’t that you didn’t think he was attracted to you at all, he always called you gorgeous and you knew you made him a bit nervous but you’d never seen him look at you like he wanted to rip your clothes off and have you right then and there like he was now. His hands massaging over your thighs as he kissed your jaw and you could feel your tummy flipping with desire.

You’d wanted him for a while, not able to get the image of him having his way with you out of your head for a week or two now but you’d still made him wait. Almost like it was a test to see how long you could give him before he went crazy but at this point it was you that had lost it. Your kisses had become messier and deeper as you got lost in each other and you knew it was only a matter of time you gave him the green light.

You kept it pg for the rest of the day though. Joining the others for lunch before you were back out by the pool and you watched Mason relax as he spent some time with Woody and Freddie until he came back to you for a nap. His head resting on you chest as your fingers brushed though his hair and you felt yourself falling for him even more with every passing second.

‘Come stay in my room tonight?’ He asked after you’d all been to dinner that evening. The pair of you not wanting to part and when you raised your eyebrow at him cheekily his face flushed as he giggled. ‘Not like that. I’m just not ready to let you go yet. I thought I could get us another drink and we could hang out? I know we’ve not slept in the same bed before or whatever and we don't have to if you’re uncomfortable but-

You cut him off with a kiss. Feeling him relax under your fingertips as he smiled and when you pulled away you knew he was blushing even deeper.

‘I’ll be in soon, okay? Why don’t you get us some snacks and find a movie for us’

‘Okay’ he whispered ‘Bring your stuff for tomorrow too, you can get ready in here’

‘Wow, you’re bossy when you wanna be huh?’ you chuckled. ‘Who knew you could ask for what you want sometimes?’ You smiled and with a quick kiss you were running back to your room to get everything you needed for your first little sleepover with him.

y/n recently added to their stories

Mason treated you to a late breakfast again the next morning before you met everyone else at the entrance just before lunch. Your pinky firmly wrapped around his as you approached the others and you noticed Freddie’s eyes snap down to look at them before they were on you. Sending you a smile and a cheeky wink like he was happy for you and even though you rolled your eyes at him you couldn’t deny you were pretty happy yourself.

You’d enjoyed the night before more than any other time you could imagine. Spending the whole night in Mason's arms as you spoke and kissed until you eventually fell asleep. You had wondered in the back of your head if last night could have been the night but you both seemed content with leaving it for now however you knew it would be soon.

Whilst you stood and reminisced in your own head as you waited for the last few people, Mason on the other hand had his eyes on someone else. Watching the way Carl drunk you in before his eyes landed on your conjoined fingers and the expression that took over his face was one that Mason had seen many times before. Almost watching Carl plot his evil scheme was making Mason uncomfortable to the point he started to pull away from you but you just assumed he wanted to hold your hand properly so you threaded your fingers through his and pulled him along into the awaiting taxi.

You’d never been on a boat like this and with there being so many of you it was hard to find a quiet spot. Mason seemed to know his way around these things though and took you up to the top deck where there was a separate space at the front for the two of you to lay down and get comfy.

You could hear everyone else downstairs rushing about and being silly but you were content with laying next to Mason. Your head right next to his as you spoke about the night before until you both got a bit sleepy and drifted off.

You heard the jet skis start up before you heard the footsteps running up to the top deck. Freddie’s face appearing from below but clearly only you had the energy to sit up and speak to him.

‘Not interrupting, am I kid?’ He asked quietly.

‘No, he’s just a bit tired’

‘Oh yeah, you worn him out?’ he laughed. Eyebrows wiggling suggestively but you just laughed as you hid your face in embarrassment.

‘Shut up Freddie’ you huffed, crossing your arms in mock anger but he saw right through you. ‘What do you want?

‘Jet skis are ready, you wanted a go right?’

‘Well yeah but-‘

‘Mason!’

‘Freddie, will you piss off’ you scalded. Look down to see Mason stirring awake as Freddie’s retreated back down the ladder and when you brushed the hair from his eyes he gave you a thankful but sleepy smile. ‘Sorry Mase, I told him not to wake you’

‘It’s alright, beautiful. Is everything okay?’

‘Yeah, the jet skis are ready but if you don’t want to do it, it’s fine’ you told him. Leaning onto your side so you could lay yourself next to him whilst he slunk his arm under your body to hold you closer with his hand on your waist.

‘I best not, I’ll get killed if I get another injury but you go yeah? I’ll watch you’

‘Are you sure?

‘Of course. Or maybe I’ll be asleep who knows’ he winked. ‘Go on, go have fun’ he whispered, pecking your lips as he squeezed your bum gently. Winking at you as you looked at him with a shocked face as it was the first time he’d been handsy with you without you instigating something but you just kissed him forcefully as you crawled over his body and left him to relax.

By the time you’d made it down and popped your life vest on, there were only a few people left. Woody and Kaz had just set off as Lex hopped on the back of Freddie’s meaning you were left with only one option.

Carl was smiling at you as he waved you over to the one he was standing by before hopping aboard and patting the back of the seat for you to sit on. ‘Your chariot awaits. I hope you don’t mind but we’ve got to share’ he laughed.

‘Oh no that’s fine’ you smiled. Too excited to get out onto the water to worry about who you were with and whilst Mason was a bit distant with Carl you didn’t exactly have a reason to not go with him. Yes he’d been loud with the girls yesterday and there was definitely something you couldn’t put your finger on about him that you weren’t 100% comfortable with but the idea of getting to go in a jet ski was the main thought in your brain right now.

‘Just tell me if I’m going too fast, okay?’ He told you. Letting you get comfortable behind him as you wrapped your arms around his waist like Freddie had shown you and once you were comfortable enough he set off.

Carl played it pretty safe and didn’t go too fast but it was fast enough for you. Having to grip o to him tightly as he tried out some spins and tricks and before you knew it he’d slyly driven you far away from the boat and everyone else.

‘So you and Mason huh?’ He asked as he slowed down. Bringing the jet ski to almost a complete stop before he was driving you around in random patterns to make it look like you were going somewhere when you weren’t.

‘What about me and Mason?’ You asked. Wondering why he was bringing Mason up whilst you were basically stranded in the sea and an uncomfortable feeling made its way up your spine.

‘You tell me. He’s keeping things under wraps’ he shrugged and you felt the sense of unease spread over you further. ‘Look, all l I know is that if you were mine I would be all over you. He looks like he barely wants to hold you hand sometimes’

‘Well I’m not yours so it doesn’t matter does it’ you hit back. Not liking how he was talking to you and the fact he seemed to be taking you further away from everyone made you want to scream in fear.

‘Oh she’s a feisty one’

‘No I just like to keep my business my business as does Mason’ you told him firmly. Wishing you could go back in time so you would have never gotten on this god forsaken thing in the first place and. ‘Can you take me back now please I want to get off

‘Oh don’t be like that’

‘I won’t ask again’ you told him firmly. Trying to hide the fear in your voice but thankfully he got the hint and made his way back to the boat where you hopped off as soon as you could before making your way back to Mason. Hearing Carl thankfully speed away leaving the pair of you alone.

Mason wasn't napping where you'd left him, in fact he was nowhere to be seen but as you made your way to the back of the boat you could see him leaning up against the side with a pensive look on his face.

You didn't know if you wanted to join him as he looked so in his own head but you fought against it and carefully made your way over. Needing his comfort after the ordeal Carl had just put you through but Mason looked as though he was in a whole other world.

'Mase? What you doing over here?' You asked. Watching him jump slightly as he realised you were there before his eyes were on the floor.

'I was feeling a bit sea sick' he told you quietly and you noticed how he didn’t really want to look at you.

'So you thought it was best to hang over the edge and make it worse' you smiled but he didn't smile back. Just shrugged his shoulders gently as he twiddled with his fingers.

'Sorry'

'It's alright, don't be sorry' you smiled. Pulling him into a hug and even though he was hugging you back you knew something was off. You chalked it down to him not feeling well and when you pulled back you could see in his eyes that something wasn't right. 'Shall I get you a bottle of water and we can sit somewhere quiet’

'No it's okay, I don't wanna pull you away from everyone’

'Mase? You know l'd pick you over anyone here' you told him. Pulling back and cupping his jaw so he'd look at you and when he sent you a smile your heart settled just a tiny bit.

'Even Freddie?'

'Especially Freddie’ you winked. 'Come on, I'll look after you. They're all still out on the jet skis so it's just you and me anyway. Can't get rid of me even if you want to’

‘Thank you’

‘Don’t be, it’s my job to look after my man’ you joked. His eyes lighting up at the way you’d referred to him as such. ‘Shall we go back up? Or do you wanna stay down here?

‘We can go up’ he whispered. Pulling you into a soft kiss that made your knees weak before leading you back up.

When everyone else came back, Woody and Kaz joined you upstairs. Mason sitting up and patting the space in front of him so you’d sit with your back to his chest and when he lazily slung his arm around your waist you blushed as he began to trace patterns on your warm skin.

You knew you were staying on the boast for most of the day so you remembered to take things to entertain yourself and you’d noticed Mason had perked up a little bit. Watching him jump off the edge with Freddie as you sat with the girls and when the option came to leave with some of the others or stay for a bit longer you both chose to stay. Thankfully it was just Freddie, Lex, Woody and Kaz left with you as Carl left with the others and when the sun began to set you made sure to take Mason back upstairs so you could watch it together. Laying on his body had his hands roamed yours and as soon as the sun began to hug the sea he brought you In for a heart stopping kiss.

The day had been perfect, his hand in yours and he sat next to you on the way back to the hotel and your heart thumped at how he was playing with your fingers. His cheek resting on the top of your head and it was almost a struggle to stay awake with how warm and safe you felt with him.

As much as you didn’t like it, you both decided you should sleep in your own beds tonight. Both of you having early mornings and you knew if you woke up next to him you wouldn’t want to go anywhere so Mason walked you to your door and left you with a kiss and the promise of seeing you tomorrow evening.

y/n recently added to their stories

Mason was up and out at the crack of dawn but you were reading over his good morning text in the lobby with a smile before you felt someone looming over you.

‘Listen, I’m not sure what Masons said about me’

‘He hasn’t said anything about you’ you told Carl and to be fair to Mason he really hadn’t. Mason did his talking with his eyes about Carl and you could sense there was something there but hadn’t come out and told you exactly what the problem was.

‘Oh… I just feel like we got off on the wrong foot. I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable yesterday on the jet ski, I didn’t mean to. Mason and I like to tease each other a bit but I should have left you out of it’ he explained and whilst you appreciated his apology you still felt like something wasn’t right.

Unfortunately you were stuck with him for today, the group of you practically had been halved since it was just your work people and there was no way of getting away from him so you decided you put yesterday behind you for the sake of everyone else and try and make it a comfortable day.

‘Well thank you, I appreciate that. I guess we can start over again and be civil at least today’ you nodded at him and he sent you an appreciative smile that made you feel better about what you were doing.

You sat next to Carl in the cab and he was asking you lots of questions about your work. Ever since Masons shoot the offers to join people and help out with big projects had been rolling in like no tomorrow and you’d even managed to book a few private fittings to dress some actors for an awards ceremony in a few weeks. You hadn’t felt this positive about work in months and with Carl bigging you up like he was it was easy to get swept up in him.

The event was busier than you were expecting so you stuck with Woody and Freddie however that meant Carl was now also with you and wherever he was you knew Lindsay and Louise weren’t too far behind.

‘Right the agency wants some pictures for socials so just act natural okay?’ Freddie announced, whipping his phone out as you walked around the various stalls and exhibitions. Snapping your picture whenever he could however Carl was always jumping in to be involved and when you sat down for the first runway show he was right there next to you.

Carl wanting to be your bestie aside, you’d had an amazing day and met so many lovely people. You felt inspired at every corner you turned and you couldn't wait to see Mason and tell him all about it. It was nuts how much you missed him even with so much going on and the fact you couldn’t even get your phone out to send him a quick text to see how he was frustrating you more than anything.

TheFashionPeople

location : Malta

liked by y/n, Freddie_Smith, Carl9834 and others

TheFashionPeople A group of our extremely talented stylists and personal shoppers have been in Malta at the New In Clothing 2024 event. Make sure to follow us to keep up to date with everything they get up to!

A hand on your waist snapped you out of your thoughts and you recoiled away from Carl just like you’d been doing for the last few hours. You were sure why but he’d suddenly got it in his head that he was free to put his hands on you and whilst it started out as just gentle touches on your shoulder or elbow it had progressed quickly holding your waist or trying to pull you in for a cuddle.

‘Can you not, please Carl. I don’t like being touched’

‘What? I’m just trying to be nice’

‘Well that’s not how I’m seeing it. I would appreciate it if you kept your hands to yourself please’ you told him sternly before marching off to find Freddie. Wishing you would have just told him to piss off this morning rather than trying to be friendly for everyone else’s sake.

You were back in the hotel by the time you managed to get five minutes' peace. Knowing you had to go to dinner soon but you wanted to hopefully speak to Mason however you were a little disappointed that he hadn’t messaged you at all today. You figured he must have been busy like you so you sent him a quick message before jumping in the shower.

You were all dressed up and ready to head to dinner but Mason still hadn’t got back to you so you made a plan to swing by his room before you left. He didn’t answer when you knocked on the door though and you figured he must still be out so you went to dinner alone and tried to ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of your tummy.

‘Have you heard from Mason?’ You asked Woody. Wanting to make sure someone had spoken to him as you were beginning to panic that he’d vanished off the face of the earth but the Woody nodded you didn’t know if you felt happy or sad about it.

‘Yeah he messaged me about half an hour ago’ he told you. ‘He’s not been back long so maybe be fell asleep?’

‘Oh okay’ you smiled. Confused as to why he was seemingly ignoring for hours on end but you knew he loved a nap so maybe that was the reason.

‘Is everything alright?’ Woody asked sympathetically but you didn’t want to air everything out in front of everyone so you kept quiet whilst still telling the truth.

‘Yeah fine’ you smiled. Hoping to convince him nothing was wrong but you weren’t sure if he bought it. ‘I just wanted to check he was okay, I haven’t heard from him in a bit’

‘You know what he’s like, dead to the world as soon as his head touches the pillow’’ he reassured you and you sent him a kind smile and a nod in hopes that was enough. Watching him quickly send a message to someone and no more than two minutes later did your phone buzz in your hand.

Your heart sunk further into your tummy at his message. You didn’t know if you were being extra sensitive or he was being incredibly short with you but his message didn’t feel as warm as they usually did and now you felt silly for telling him you missed him without him saying it back.

‘Right, you coming for drinks kid?’ Freddie asked but you just shook your head as you gathered your things together.

‘No I think I’ll just head back to my room’ you gulped. Watching Freddie’s face drop before he looked at you to ask if something was wrong but you just sent him a smile. ‘Its been a long day and I wanna be fresh for tomorrow’

‘You sure?’

‘Positive’ you nodded giving everyone a quick goodbye before hightailing back to your room. Wondering what you should send Mason as a response but in the end you figured you’d play it as cool as possible and send him something you normally would to see how he reacted.

You didn’t understand why he was being so hot and cold with you constantly this trip and you definitely didn’t understand what you could have done to make him be this cold with you.

Sleep didn’t come easy that night as you laid awake and thought about what had happened on the trip so far to make him be like this. Clearly there was some sort of issue with Carl but if he didn’t explain what it was then how were you supposed to help him? And everything seemed fine the previous night before you went to bed so what could you have done in a day that you hadn’t seen him for him to be so distant?

You knew you had to speak to him tomorrow and soon enough the tiredness wore you out enough so you could fall asleep but the next you decided to test him and not send him a good morning text when you woke up. You knew it may have been a little petty but you wanted him to come to you first, almost to prove that he still liked you but you were almost halfway through the morning and it was still radio silence. Thankfully Carl had kept his distance today but you knew he kept looking at you in hopes you’d give him some attention.

The final show was was a lot, and being sat far away from Carl helped you concentrate a bit more but Mason was still on your mind. Why was be being so distant? Hopefully you’d get to speak to him later today and you were both excited and terrified about seeing him. Thankfully Freddie had managed to take your mind off of things and invited you backstage after the show with Woody as he knew one of the models and you found it fascinating getting to watch them all at work

‘Thank you for bringing me here, Freddie. I’ve had the best time’

‘Don’t be silly, I knew you’d love it. And when we get back I’ve got loads for us to work on’ he smiled. Wrapping and arm around your shoulder as you made your way back to the hotel and even though things with Mason seemed confusing and weird you knew everything you’d been working towards was finally happening for you and you couldn’t wait to get to work.

You were sitting on your own away from everyone at the pool that afternoon when Mason turned up. You hadn’t meant to be but you were sat with Woody and Kaz and they had just hopped in the water and you thought Mason would be straight over to see you since it had been so long but again you were left disappointed.

He’d clearly been back to his room to shower and change but he didn’t make his way over to see you first. Watching him drop his things on the lounger on the opposite side of the pool from you before talking to Woody for a bit as he sat on the edge but he was getting in the pool soon enough. Your heart sinking at the way he’d completely blanked you since coming out here and you wondered if you’d missed something. Eventually turning onto your side away from everyone to not show them how upset you were as you couldn't understand his behaviour and why he hadn’t come over to say hello to you first.

You’d been away from him for just over a day and a half and all you wanted was to be next to him again so the fact he’d basically ignored you when this was your first chance to speak made your head spin. Were you being too much for him? Is that why he was pulling away from you? Or were you not giving him what he wanted quickly enough and he was getting bored of waiting for you? Did he not miss you like you’d missed him?

You refused to cry but you knew your eyes felt heavy and watery. Shutting them and pretending to be asleep even though you could hear him giggling close by, it was soon replaced by the sounds of hushed whispers and soon enough you could hear the sound of someone getting out of the pool and making their way over to you.

You didn’t react to him, hearing him pick a towel up to dry his hair before he took a tentative seat next to you and when you didn’t move you felt him lay next to you but still kept his distance so you didn't touch at all. Your heart hammering as you became hyper aware of all his movements but you kept your eyes shut no matter how hard it was becoming.

You could feel him fiddling with the dangly bits on your bikini before his fingers grazed your thigh slightly and you froze. He didn’t stop though, trailing his fingers up and over your hip to your waist so he could pull you into his body and when your skin touched his you opened your eyes carefully.

‘Hey’ he whispered. The weight of the world still heavy in his eyes but you knew he was trying to cover it up with the soft smile he was sending you. ‘Sorry, I didn’t want to get you wet’ he whispered, stroking your back gently and you knew there was something still off about him even though he was keeping it well hidden behind the brick wall he’d been building for the last few days. At least he was talking to you now though you thought. ‘You okay?’

‘Just tired’ you nodded. Not wanting to give too much away and let him know how upset you were but every touch of his skin on yours made you ache.

‘Go back to sleep, I’ll stay with you’

You wanted to tell him you weren’t really tired and that you didn’t want to sleep because you missed him and wanted to talk but the words were stuck in your throat. Not even sure if you were allowed to shuffle closer to him but at least he was finally next to you and when he gave in to pull you into his chest your eyes began to sting.

There was so much you wanted to say to him, but you held your tongue. Taking what he was giving you at the moment and soon enough your missed sleep from the night before caught up to you and you fell asleep to the feel of him pressing a gentle kiss to your temple.

Waking up still in Mason's arms was a nice feeling even if you did still feel heavy with emotion and when you both sat up he made no attempt to hold you in any way again until your leg brushed his and placed his hand in your lap palm up. Silently asking you to hold it and as soon as your fingers were linked you rested your head on his shoulder.

‘Are you coming to dinner with everyone tonight?’ You asked. Trying to think of anything to say to get him talking as he was keeping quiet and you hated the awkward silence.

‘I think so’ he told you. ‘Is that okay?’

‘Of course it is’ you nodded, looking up at his face and as much as you wanted to stay with him and get him to talk but you knew the time was getting on. ‘I should go get ready actually. I need to wash my hair and shower’

‘Okay, shall I meet you there then?’ He asked and your heart dropped once more. Why didn’t he want to meet you before? To turn up with you like you’d done earlier in the week? It was only small but it was like he didn’t want to be seen with you and you had no idea what was going on in that little head of his. Right here by the pool in front of everyone wasn’t exactly the best place to ask though so you just sent him a small nod before gathering up your things and leaving.

‘Trouble in paradise?’ You heard from behind you as you made your way to the door and you didn’t even need to turn to face them to know who it was. You’d been avoiding him like the plague since you told him off for touching you yesterday and you’d been waiting for him to start widning you up again.

‘Fuck off, Carl’

‘Ohhhh, someone’s touchy. I don’t know why you’re bothering with him, I can see he’s not interested from a mile away. Why are you wasting your time you’ve got someone right here ready to give you what you want’

‘Cause I don’t fucking want you!’ you snapped. Turning to face him suddenly and you knew you’d caught him off guard. ‘Ever think of that?’

‘Of course you do, everyone does’ he told you matter of factly, looking at you dumbfounded at the fact you might not want him but you didn’t want to waste another second of your life in his presence.

‘Oh bore off, I’m done talking to you’ you huffed. Turning in the corridor and making you way to your room and thankfully he didn’t follow you.

All you could think about was Mason as you showered and dried your hair. Was he not interested anymore? Or were you being sensitive as Carl just made everything seem 10x worse.

You wanted to talk to him before dinner so you could get to the crux of the issue, knowing that if you left things any longer than needed it could take a turn and it wasnt like he was mad at you. He just seemed sad almost, and distant and since you were ready earlier than planned you wondered if it was worth a shot to go and find him.

You’d saved this dress specifically for tonight. Your last big dinner out with everyone and you wanted to look the part and hopefully catch Mason's eye a bit. Even if that did feel like an impossible task right now.

You needed an excuse to talk to him and this seemed the perfect one. Not being able to quite get the zipper done up without some help so you did it enough to be able to leave your room and not flash anyone before making your way down the hall to his door.

As you didn’t fancy standing in the middle of the corridor half dressed you knocked rather quickly in hopes he would come and answer faster and soon enough he opened up with a small but shocked smile on his face.

‘Hey Mase, sorry I’m having a bit of trouble with my dress. I don't suppose you could zip me up?’ You asked and after he quickly nodded you in, you made your way into his room.

‘Thank you’ you smiled. Standing in front of his big mirror so he could zip you up and the feeling of his hand on your waist as his knuckles brushed your skin made your knees weak. Watching him in the mirror in front of you as he concentrated made your heart race and once he was done and you caught his eye in the mirror you knew you needed to step it up a notch.

You figured you’d act as normal as possible with him, turning in his hold to face him and when you placed a quick peck on his lips you noticed again he didn’t deepen it or even return it but just looked to the floor blankly.

‘Mase, what’s wrong?’ You sighed. Pulling out of his grasp as his hands fell to his sides with a thud and you knew your question had shocked him. His eyes going wide as his face paled but you were determined to not let him brush this off as nothing.

‘What do you mean?’

‘You’ve barely spoken to me for the last few days, you haven’t kissed me. Have I done something wrong?’ You asked and even though you didn’t mean for it to, your voice sounded teary and upset. This seemed to be enough to snap Mason out of his funk a little bit as he looked at you guiltily before gently pulling you back into his arms.

‘No, you haven’t done anything I promise’ he whispered. Stroking your back with his thumbs like he always did and you felt yourself settle in a way you hadn’t for days. It was like your Mason was back as he touched you like normal so you placed your hands on his chest before he pulled you closer.

‘What is it then? Do you not like me anymore?’ You questioned but his face dropped even further. Clearly it hitting him how upset you were by his mood over the last few days.

‘Hey, no. Don’t say that, I adore you’ he told you sincerely, cupping your jaw so you’d look at him but it didn’t explain why he’d been off with you. ‘I’m just a bit embarrassed

‘Embarrassed? What of me?’

‘No not you’ he laughed, looking at you with a heartfelt smile before his face dropped again. ‘Of me. I just got into my own head about something and I feel a little ridiculous’

‘Tell me’ you whispered, trying to reassure him that whatever it is things would be fine but you had no idea what it was he could be embarrassed of. ‘What did I tell you that night, huh? I’m big on communication. So just tell me and we can figure it out’

You could tell Mason wanted to tell you. Watching him inhaling a deep breath before letting it out shakily. Swallowing down a nervous gulp as he placed both hands back on your waist and you knew he was about to hit you with it.

‘Do you like him?’

‘Like who?’ You questioned, unsure of what he meant and the name that fell from his lips made no sense to you at all.

‘Carl’

‘What? Where did you get that idea?’ You laughed but you realised it wasn't a laughing matter for him but a genuine concern.

‘Ive seen the way he looks at you and he was making you laugh in all those pictures your company posted on instagram like he was next you in every bloody one and then you were on that jet ski together before and I just…’

‘Mase’ you smiled. Moving your hands to around his neck before bumping your nose against his to get him to look at you. ‘Are you jealous?’

‘What? I’m not jealous’ he scoffed, a small smile on his lips as he realised he probably sounded a bit silly but little did you know you only had half the story.

‘Tell your face that then’ you joked but you knew he needed a little reassurance. ‘For the record no, I don’t like him. If you’d have taken any notice of me you would have seen I’ve been nowhere near him when I don’t have to be. He’s an arrogant twat who doesn’t know when to keep his hands to himself’

‘What?’ He snapped, pulling back to look at you with his hands gripping you your waist tighter and you could tell he was angry about what you’d said.

‘It’s fine, I handled it’

‘I should of handled it’ he murmured ‘You’re mine and it’s my job to look after you’

‘Yours huh?’ You smiled, your heart fluttering at the way the words sounded coming out of his mouth.

‘What did he do? Tell me’ he asked, brushing past what he’d said but his nose was turning pink out of embarrassment and even though you wanted to talk more about being his, you also knew you needed to talk about this more.

‘Nothing bad, just kept putting his hands on me you know? Like on my arms and round my waist when we were at the event. We had a chat in the morning and agreed we’d be civil that day but he went way overboard and made me uncomfortable’

‘What do you mean, be civil? I thought you two got on?’

‘Well if you hadn’t been in a strop for a few days you would have seen we don’t’ you smiled. ‘When I went with him on the jet ski it was just because it was the last space left and all he did was piss me off. Kept talking about us after I asked him not to before he tried to tell me how he’d treat me but I told him that I wasn’t interested. I’m still pissed off he ruined my turn. I'd been looking forward to that’ you huffed but now you’d explained yourself you were waiting for Mason to get to the root of the issue. ‘Why don’t you like him? You can tell me’

‘He’s just not my kind of people’ he shrugged, trying to brush past it again, but you gave him a firm look which made him roll his eyes with a sigh. ‘Oh fine, but I’m gonna sound insane. He’s always been Woodys mate but I’ve known who he is and he’s got this weird thing against me. Whatever I have he’s gotta have the same, and that includes girls. We’d go on nights out and I’d be talking to someone and then the next thing I know he’s wormed his way in. Even girls I’d been talking to for weeks he’d find a way to take from me somehow and I just got tired of him always butting in. I haven’t had to think about him in Manchester but seeing I’m him again just put me on edge’

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ You whispered. Stroking his neck with your thumbs as your hands rested on his shoulders and you couldn’t help but feel sad for Mason. You didn’t like that he’d kept this all bottled up inside but now you knew what his problem was you could face it together.

‘I’ve never told anyone’ he shrugged. ‘He’s mates with all my mates and I don’t wanna rock the boat. But also cause it felt a little pathetic. Like it’s a weird thing to explain to people but I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about him getting to you’

‘Mason, you know I’m all about you, don’t you?’ You whispered. Watching his face soften as he gave you a lopsided smile and you knew all he needed right now was a bit of reassurance. ‘You don’t think i'd have kissed you in front of everyone, or slept in your bed the first night if I wasn’t nuts about you. I’m not that kinda girl’

‘I know you’re not’ he laughed. ‘It was never you I wasn’t sure about, it’s him he just brings out the worst in me. And I wasn’t jealous… I was scared’

‘Scared of what? Me leaving you for him?’

‘A little bit’ he whispered and your heart thumped at how vulnerable he was being with you. ‘I feel so dumb even admitting that but he’s done it to me before with girls I was just talking to, so the fact we’re more than that, I knew he’d jump in and do something stupid. It didn’t help that you’re not actually mine’ he muttered under his breath but you just about heard him. Tilting your head quizzically at him as he turned red in the face. ‘You know we’re not like… together officially or whatever. I wanted to ask you while we were away, you know? Make you my girl like I said I would’

‘You wanna be my boyfriend’ you teased, smiling wildly at his confession and his face soon mirrored yours as he smiled back.

‘Oh give over’ he scoffed before his face softened once more. ‘Have I ruined it?’

‘Not at all’

‘So if I were to ask you, like to be mine, would you say yes?’ He asked nervously, his eyes all over your face as he tried to decipher your reaction but you just smiled at him as you hoped he’d know what your answer would be.

‘Why don’t you try right now’

‘Cause I’m scared’ he whispered. Holding you tight to his body as he rested his forehead on yours.

‘What are you scared of?’ You asked, laughing a little bit at how silly he was being but you were just hoping you were coming across not as nervous as you were feeling in this second.

‘You’ he laughed. ‘I really like you and I really think we could be something you know? I like us’

‘I like us too’ you told him. Letting him take a deep breath to calm himself as you knew this was a lot for him. ‘Mase? If you did want to ask, the answer would be yes. I really like you too’

‘I’ll think about it’ he laughed shyly before you lent in to kiss his cheek. ‘You haven’t poked me in the ribs yet so I wasn’t sure’

‘And once again, you're insane’ you told him before you were pulling him into a soft kiss. Feeling him kiss you back properly after so long as your chest fluttered at the way he was holding you. Soft but strong and the way he stroked your skin with his thumbs made you want to melt into a pool of goo on the floor. ‘Come on, you’re not getting out of having dinner with me tonight. I want you sat next to me’ you demanded with a smile.

‘I’m coming I’m coming’ he laughed. Pulling you into one last hug before pulling away from you but holding you at arm's length with your hands still entwined.

‘Hey, y/n?’

‘Yeah?’

‘You look beautiful’ he whispered. His voice sincere as his eyes trailed over you but you were quick to kiss him as you felt your face flush.

‘Thank you Mason’ you whispered against his lips. Feeling happier than you had in days.

Dinner tonight was at the hotel and when the pair of you arrived hand in hand it revived a mixed reaction. Most people paid you no mind but Freddie was sending you a sly smile.

Then there was Carl, sending the pair of you daggers as his gaze shot to your hands. Eyes rolling in the back of his head that you two were together but little did he know he had front row seats to the best show in town.

The only two seats were thankfully as far away from Carl as you could get. Right in between Freddie and woody and after Mason pulled your chair out you gave him a quick kiss right in Carls eyeline.

‘What are you doing’ Mason laughed, cheeks flaming at the way you’d kissed him so publicly but you just sent him a reassuring smile.

‘Claiming you. Buckle up cause this is nothing’ you winked. Kissing his lips softly again before taking your seat and staring down Carl in the process.

You knew he was watching you the whole time. Lindsay and Louise either side of him as he quietly stewed and now you knew how awful he made Mason feel you were ready to make him feel the same.

All notions of ‘on the down low’ were out the window as he draped his arm over the back of your chair. Letting you lean into him and kiss him as much as you wanted whilst you sporadically fed each other. It was driving Carl up the wall and you loved how Mason was playing along and winking at you everytime you went a little overboard.

‘I heard the sunset is gonna be insane tonight’ Freddie mentioned as you were finishing up and with one look at Mason you knew what was coming. ‘How’s about you see if you can get us a table on the rooftop bar’ he winked but Mason just rolled his eyes with a laugh.

‘I kind of have one already booked’ he told him, looking down at you with a wink and you knew he’d booked it for just the two of you. ‘I’ll see if I can get a few people added though’

By the time Mason got back the table had cleared out, just Freddie and Woody with their girls left and Carl had stormed off in a huff much to your delight.

‘Right, I can only get an extra four seats’

‘That’s fine, six of us six seats’ Freddie winked. ‘The others have left so we don’t need to worry about them’

‘You don’t mind do you?’ Mason asked. Placing his hand on your waist before dropping a kiss on your forehead. ‘I wanted it to be just us’

‘I don’t mind’ you whispered. ‘Come on, it’ll be fun’

Thankfully the table they’d arranged for you was in the corner out of the way but right near front so you had an uninterrupted view of the beach and the sunset and as you all sat and chatted away you couldn't have felt happier if you’d tried.

You’d always found it hard to make friends at school and work but you were honestly so thankful for Freddie. Not only for all his help in furthering your career but he’d just been the best person to you and you were so happy you’d got to spend this time away together to build on your friendship.

You’d grown to adore Lex just as much, forming a girly alliance with her and Kaz over the few days you’d been here and you knew that when you were back home the three of you would be hanging out regularly. As well as getting to know Woody a little more and you knew he’d been pushing Mason not to be such a grump with you which you appreciated.

Then there was Mason. The beautiful boy that had slowly taken your heart and ran with it and you couldn’t believe you were finally at a place with him where things were getting serious. You’d stuck to your guns and made him wait until you were ready but the fact he’d waited around and was willing to work for you made your heart thump and as you looked up into his kind eyes you knew you’d managed to find something special with him.

The six of you were laughing and sharing stories for ages. Woody teaching you more about Mason than you ever thought you’d know and you could tell Mason was hating every second of it but as you pouted at him sympathetically and kissed his jaw you knew he was fine if not a little embarrassed.

‘I’m just popping to the loo’ Mason told you, dropping a kiss on your cheek as he left and you used the time he was gone to walk over to the balcony. Taking a moment for yourself to think over the four days you’d had here and how now you and Mason were on the same page you couldn’t wait to see where things may take you.

The sun was almost setting and even though it was one of the most beautiful things you’d ever seen, you knew something was missing. Mason said he’d be right back but you were starting to think he’d got lost somewhere and as you looked around at Freddie and Lex, and Woody and Kaz enjoying the moment together you felt your heart sink that you couldn’t share this with your person.

That was until a hand on your waist made you jump but as you looked up to the culprit your favourite brown eyes were looking back at you sweetly and your heart settled on your chest now he was back.

‘Just me’ he whispered, his arm wrapping around further your waist so your back was to his chest but you knew you wanted more. Turning slightly in his hold to give him a quick kiss that he deepened instantly. A complete 180 to how he was acting with you a few hours before and you smiled at the realisation you were all fine again.

‘I didn’t think you’d make it’

‘I wouldn’t miss this for the world, baby’ he whispered. The pet name making you feel giddy as it was one he’d never used before and now it was your turn to blush at how he was making you feel. Eventually turning away from him before he leant his head on top of yours to watch the sunset and you felt your arms wrap over his to keep him in place. The feel of his lips pressing gentle kisses to the side of your face making you shiver and when he pulled you in impossibly closer you couldn't wipe the smile from your face. ‘Hey Y/n?’

‘Yeah?’ You whispered back. Trying to play things cool as you could tell his voice was nervous and you weren’t sure what he was about to say.

‘Would you be my girlfriend?’

‘I think I would, yeah’ you smiled, looking back up at him shyly but the look of relief on his face made your tummy flutter. ‘I didn’t get to poke you in the ribs’

‘There’s always time for that later’ he winked. His silly joke making you laugh but all you wanted in this moment was to kiss him. Not caring about how beautiful the sunset was as the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen was right in front of you and he was yours so you reached forward and pulled him in for a bruising kiss.

‘Do you mind if I stay with you tonight?’ you asked shyly once you’d both gotten your breath back. Resting your hands on his chest as he fully enveloped you and the bashful look on his face made your heart flutter.

‘I’d be offended if you didn’t’ he teased, swaying you from side to side gently before popping a kiss on your cheek. ‘You wanna swing by your room and grab some of your things?’

‘Somethings telling me I won’t need anything’ you told him. Hoping he’d catch onto what you were getting at and even though his eyebrows shot up in what looked like understanding you knew he needed a bit more from you.

‘Oh?’ He gulped. ‘Why’s that?’

‘Well are you suggesting I need something to sleep in?’ You asked him cheekily and the deep blush that sprung up on his nose made you carry on. ‘Cause in my head, I didn’t see me, or you for that matter, wearing anything’ you whispered. Trying to be as sexy and sultry as you could and you saw Masons eyes darken immediately.

‘You mean…?’

‘I think tonight might be your lucky night’ you whispered. Cupping his jaw to kiss him and the way he squeezed your waist excited you. Pulling away to see his black eyes frantically searching your face as you both became breathless and you knew he was ready to be alone with you.

‘Shall we get out of here?’

‘I think we should’ you giggled. Taking his hand and leaving the bar without a second glance to anyone you left behind.

The feel of Mason’s thumb gently caressing your ribs stirred you from your sleep slightly. The warmth of him engulfing you and when you eventually opened your eyes he was looking back at you softly.

'Sorry' he whispered, clearly it not being his intention to wake you up but you were thankful that he had so you got to look at him some more. Knowing you'd never get bored of the boy in front of you.

Simultaneously you both began to giggle. Thoughts of the night before flooding your mind of how you'd both finally got to explore the other like you'd been craving and it was like you could still feel his bruising grip on you hips as you rolled your body on top of his. Still felt his hand lightly gripping your throat as he slowly fucked you from behind with his body pressed against yours. His whimpers and whines ringing through your ears that had only aided in tipping you over the edge and for someone who could be so shy around you he was a dark horse when it came to pleasing you.

‘I can't believe you're finally mine' he whispered after your laughter had died down, your heart hammering in your ears at how sincere he sounded and you couldn’t help but roll on top of him. Kissing him sweetly as he steadied your body on top of his.

‘Believe it buddy. No backing out now’

‘I would never’ he whispered. ‘What are your plans for today, beautiful?’

‘Don’t really have any, just a pool day I guess but I feel like I’ve not seen much of actual Malta. I was hoping we would have been out a bit more’ you pouted and he smiled at you softly.

‘Would you like to? I mean we don’t have to stay here’

‘Yeah? I’d love to go to the beach’ you smiled. ‘You know, spend our first official day as a couple just the two of us’

‘Oh yeah’

‘Yeah, let’s fuck these lot off and go out. The towns not too far so we can have a look round at the shops and grab some lunch?’

‘Do you think the others would mind?’

‘I don’t really care if they do’ you laughed. ‘Let’s say we stayed here? We would have spent all day with just each other anyway we may as well just spend it away from here’

‘You’ve got a deal’

‘I’ll go get ready then’ you told him, but from the way his hands gripped your bum you knew he didn’t want to leave his bed any time soon.

‘Not yet’ he whispered and you could see exactly why he wanted to stay here from one look in his dark eyes. ‘Please gorgeous, I won’t be able to think straight all day otherwise’

‘Oh poor baby’ you teased ‘we don’t want that do we’

‘Nope, I was too excited last night. I didn’t even get to have you how I wanted’ he whispered whilst rolling the pair of you over and you giggled as he was suddenly on top of you. Kissing your face gently as he pressed himself into your core and you gasped at the feel of him again.

‘How did you want me?

‘Like this. I wanna look at you’ he told you lowly. Rolling his hips into you but soon enough his lips were on your neck and you felt yourself melting into the sheets.

Once Mason had got his own way you laid with him for a little while. Stealing kisses and stroking his cheek as he gazed at you lovingly but soon enough you were both hungry so he let you run back to your room so you didn’t waste too much of the day and within the hour you were meeting him at the entrance. Him deep in conversation with Woody but as soon as he saw you his whole face lit up before you said your goodbyes and made your way into the local town.

You walked around the little shops first. Grabbing yourself a quick bite to eat before picking out a few bits for your loved ones back home and your heart melted as you watched Mason try and pick a few things out for his nieces. He spoke about his family often and you could see how much he loved them all but you knew he cared for the little ones especially. Even getting your opinion before making his final decision and with a kiss to your forehead he went to pay.

Next you went to the beach, it was fairly quiet and you allowed yourself to lay in the water and clear your mind as the sun licked your skin. Feeling the waves ripple past you gently as you got comfy by the shore but soon enough your light was blocked and a pair of lips were kissing yours.

‘Sorry, I couldn’t resist’ he chuckled. Linking your pinkies together before joining you in the water and you realised then and there you’d never felt more at peace.

‘Is there anything you want to do today? We’ve still got a few hours before we need to go back’ you asked once you were both out and drying off. Mason insisting you sit in front of him and from the way he kept kissing your shoulder and touching your thighs you knew he was just as in his feels as you were.

‘I’m happy here with you’

‘That’s not what I asked’ you giggled. ‘You and Woody we’re talking earlier, did you have plans?’

‘I was meant to play tennis with Woody but then Kaz wanted to play too and it wouldn’t worked out with the three of us so I left them to it. She’s way better than me anyway’

‘Why don’t I join you?’ You offered. Knowing Mason loved any type of sports and he’d been banging on about playing tennis since before you’d come out here.

‘You play?’

‘Nope’ you winked. ‘But I picked up mini golf quickly, I’m sure you’ll be able to whip me into shape with tennis too’you laughed. Watching his eyes turn dark as he nibbled his lip but within a blink the look was gone, just a pinky blush over his cheeks and nose as he thought about that statement in a different context. ‘Why don’t we dry off, get some late lunch then head back and join them. Then I can get packed up early so I don’t have to worry about it later?’

‘You’re staying with me again tonight right?’ He asked, a slight tinge of fear in his voice that maybe you couldn’t but you just smiled at him.

‘If I must’ you joked, turning in his hold so you could kiss his jaw. ‘Of course I am’ you confirmed and with a final squeeze you got yourselves packed up.

Mason found you a little Italian restaurant just up from the beach and he let you order for the both of you before you made your way back to the hotel. Thankfully Woody and Kaz had only been playing for ten minutes by the time you turned up and you spent a little while getting to grips with the game as Mason tried to teach you. Flashbacks to your first date where he was teaching you to play golf crept into your mind but this time he was much more touchy and kept kissing your cheek which was making you giggle like a little girl.

Things only intensified when he took his shirt off and you got to see his muscles flexing under his skin and you knew he knew you were staring and he kept winking at you and kissing you deeply whilst guiding your arms from behind but all you could think about was getting him back to his room for a repeat of this morning.

y/n recently added to their stories

Dinner that night was a low key affair, in fact most of you were off doing your own things so you and Mason took yourselves out to another restaurant by the beach so you could fit in one final sunset and once you were both completely full, Mason suggested going back to the hotel for a few drinks before heading back to his room.

He held your hand the whole time, not even wanting to put it down to eat as you both caught up on the few days you’d been apart. Mason eager to hear all about your event and Mason updated you on his training whilst showing you pictures of him playing tag and walking around in his little crop top that you enjoyed a lot, but your favourite thing was the beautiful smile on his face.

The bar was fairly quiet when you got back and after you’d gotten your drinks and found a table you nipped off to the loo so you could make sure you still looked presentable. Not that you thought Mason would care but the thought of sitting opposite him with sauce all over your face filled you with dread. Thankfully you were fine but as you made your way back to your table you thought you could hear Mason's voice and he didn’t sound best pleased. It was only when you noticed Carl sitting opposite him did you realise why but you hung back a little to listen into the conversation and even though Carl was being his ever charming self you noticed how mason wasn’t backing down and finally telling him how it is.

‘All I’m saying is, I’d be careful with that one mate, she was all over me the other day when we were on that jet ski’

‘Oh was she yeah? See I seem to remember you being all over her, and she told me you wouldn’t leave her alone at the event so she’s not actually been around you since cause you made her uncomfortable? Pretty sure that’s what she told me’ Mason scowled and he watched Carl's face drop.

‘Got you on a tight leash already huh?’

You knew Manson would be able to handle things on his own but you didn’t want him to have to sit through this. Especially knowing everything you did now about Carl so without a second thought you made your way over to Mason before he could say anything else. Placing your hand on his shoulder before sitting yourself on his legs and smiling brightly at him. ‘You okay my love?’

‘Better now you’re here’ he grinned. Pulling you further into his lap and resting his hand on your thigh as you lent down to kiss him sweetly and from the look in his eye he knew that you’d overheard a lot of the conversation.

‘I don’t mean to be rude Carl but my boyfriend and I were hoping for a little bit of alone time’ you told him. Watching his lips purse at the words boyfriend but he recovered quickly and began to smirk at you in the cocky way he always did.

‘I can sit here, it’s a free country’ he shrugged, settling back into the seat like he owned the place but rather than get annoyed you just cupped Mason's jaw and made him look at you.

‘Shall we go back to the room then? We can start our evening early’ you winked at Mason, hoping it was obvious enough to them both as to what you were getting at and from Mason's red cheeks you could tell he’d understood. ‘Hope you and your right hand have a good night Carl’

You pulled Mason up by his hand, the pair of you giggling as you made your way into the corridor where your room was and when you came to his room he pulled your arm gently so you’d stop.

‘You’re insane, you know that?’

‘Maybe a little bit’ you shrugged, letting him push you up against his door as you both giggled and when you reached around to stroke the back of his hair you felt his shoulders relax like usual. ‘I just want you to know you’ll never have to worry about him with me, okay? I’m all yours, Mount. Have been from the second I saw you strutting your stuff about in front of that camera’

‘I’ve known it since you walked into that room too’ he whispered. Bumping his nose against yours before kissing your cheek. ‘Also remind me to never get on your bad side. That right hand comment was brutal’

‘The truth hurts sometimes, what can I say’ you smiled. ‘How’s about you take me in your room and you can have any side of me you like’

‘Deal’ he winked. Taking your hand in his before leading you inside for hopefully another night like the previous and as he pushed you up against the door from the inside and captured your lips with his, you knew this trip was the just the start of something beautiful with the most perfect man you’d ever met.

y/n

liked by masonmount, Freddie_Smith, woody_ and others

y/n if there was ever a place to make things official, then this was pretty perfect 🩷

view comments

masonmount mine 🙂‍↕️

y/n yours 🥰

Freddie_Smith you guys, I like to think I had a hand in this 🤍

y/n you should forget stuff for shoots more often

masonmount are you trying to get me replaced already?

y/n sleep with one eye open 🩷

Woody_ my boys gone and done it 🥺 happy for you guys

y/n thank you woody 🩷 can’t wait to see you and Kaz soon

Lexxy mum and dad 🥰

y/n that’s you and Freddie to me 😭

kazzzzza triple date soon please 🤭

y/n YES PLEASE 😘

Lexxy I’m so down let’s do it

declanrice I think I’ve missed a few chapters

benchilwell tell me about it

y/n hi boyssss 👋🏻 I can’t wait to meet you Masons told me loads about you

masonmount cod later? I think I’ve got some explaining to do 😭

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bonesandchalamet · 1 year ago

Text

you can’t catch me now — coriolanus snow

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

summary: when you want the plinth prize, and so does he, you’ll do anything in your power to make sure snow doesn’t land on top.

warnings: slightly unedited/ minor grammatical errors + snow isn’t that much of an asshole + minor tension between characters + no graphic details of death + SPOILERS TO THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES!

a/n: typically don’t like to write for villains… but that movie has been on my mind since I saw it 😅

when the plinth prize had a minor change in plans the only person you could look towards was him. snow. he had to have an idea, but by the reaction that took place, the way he shifted in his seat, he’d have had no clue. this must have been some sick joke. but the hunger games was all about discipline and viewers, it’s no shock the plinth prize money stakes were upped.

you’d have risen to the top and fought coriolanus snow every moment you could. academics were easy, but this? mentoring someone to win a game? this was a true test.

leaving the capital, leaves crunch beneath your feet as your pace quickens. how was this fair? to throw children in an arena to fight for their lives, that was one unfair choice the capital made, but this? was a cruel punishment.

you can hear his feet against the pavement. his pace was always rather faster than yours, which is why you’re surprised he hadn’t caught up to you now. you’d had booked it out the capital the second you were dismissed, but the dread of the next few days still lingered the air like bad perfume.

“y/n, y/n—“

“corio,” you finally snap. turning on your heel to face him, he stops. the air in his lungs catches when he sees the tears against your blush colored cheeks. you held your fight for the rights of the district close to your chest, similarly to sejanus; but you’d only ever been the one to push snow to the limits and make him fight back. tomorrow, your tribute could die and Coriolanus would win once again. it wasn’t fair how snow seemed to always win.

“you think I’m happy about this?” his question takes you by surprise. nobody was happy about this, but coriolanus’ songbird made quite the impression with viewers. you’d expected him to gloat in your face, a typical action of his, but todays far different. there’s an eery difference to the coriolanus you saw that morning before the plinth prize was changed.

“I’d expect you to be happy about your bird gaining you views and donations—“

“she’ll die by tomorrow, y/n. your guy at least has a chance to win. he’s strong enough to take on the others. you’ve got the money in the bag.” he runs a frustrated hand through his white blond curls. his bright blue eyes stare into your soul the way they normally do. so tempting to swim in, but you fight the current. you’re stronger than that, and after all these years of fierce competition, Coriolanus was not going to get you like this.

“I know your motives, snow. sympathizing with me isn’t going to get you far.” you spit out the words, spinning back in the direction towards home. if it wasn’t for the capital traffic, and coriolanus, you’d be home by now. you’d be in bed dreading sleep while you worry awake about the next morning.

“motives? can’t we be friends for once—“

“you want my alliance so my guy doesn’t kill her. I’m always a step ahead of you.”

he scoffs. he stands inches behind you, watching you eye the traffic circle for a chance to sprint across towards the grass for the home stretch. the comforting walls of your bedroom were waiting for you, but coriolanus and rush hour were adding to your time.

“alliance? if I’d wanted an alliance I’d have asked sejanus for help, since he has the money we both don’t have.”

it’s no secret to the two of you that money was tight. it’s maybe why you both work harder than the others, because college was in their futures, and your futures were determined by the outcome of the hunger games. the first time you met Coriolanus, you knew he was just like you. tight shoes, shirt that was far too big, and an excitement for the amount of food that capital had to offer. staring into each others souls that first lecture was when you knew coriolanus was not going to be your friend.

“so then what do you want from me? because once this is all over,” you snap your head up in his direction, his blue eyes piercing into your own, you can feel his anxiety radiating off him, “you’ll go back to hating me and begging for some of that plinth money.”

—

anxiety sits at the pit of your stomach. his songbird had run to the fans leaving four remaining in the pact on the hunt for her. coriolanus sits two seats away from you, his eyes haven’t left the screen since she’d gone into hiding.

“she’ll have to come out eventually.” you snap your head in his direction for a brief second, but his don’t leave where the four attempt to get her out of the vents.

you’d be lying to say you weren’t nervous for everyone in the arena. you’d hated how they were pitted against each other for punishment, and having to mentor these people made your attachment towards the games far worse. you couldn’t eat, you couldn’t sleep, and frankly if you could, you wouldn’t watch.

there was no exact plan when you met your tribute. he’d been shaken up from the past couple of days and just wanted to survive. you couldn’t blame him, and while you worked on some strategies, it was all up to him.

“she can survive—“ his words were a second too late when the clan began to rattle the vents, using pitch forks and other weapons to get her out. the dust was too heavy for the cameras to see anything, but you’d assumed they got her out by the looks of it, and everyone held onto their seats.

she’d appeared from the dusty air in no time. running for another escape, when Dr. Gauls trick up her sleeve rattled the arena. she had a way of twisting the games, and the game seemed to last longer than she intended: enter the tank the drones were dropping off.

“what is she doing.” you move closer to coriolanus, your voice in a hushed tone so the other remaining mentors didn’t hear a thing. he’s focused on the screen, but your eyes find Dr. Gaul and her wicked smile.

“if I knew, I wouldn’t tell you anyway—“

“there’s no point in bluffing, they’ll die anyway with that tank of snakes.” your voice is strained, the words come out slithery on your tongue, coriolanus turns his head in your direction for the first time today.

his blue eyes were a different shimmer. they bleed with anxiety, and as he rises out of the chair, he pulls you closer to his chest. he carefully lowers his head down towards your ear, mouth hovering over it, “I’m so sorry, but it had to be done. I wouldn’t look if I were you.”

slowly moving backwards from his grip, you run towards the doors. time seemed to slow down. you spot Tigris, she’s rising from her seat, a smile stretched across her face as her, and other students, rush to congratulate coriolanus on his victory, you can hear him calling out your name as the doors slam behind you.

your feet carry you. the sounds of the fireworks and the honks of the cars in the traffic circle don’t phase you, but you’re running to the only place that you know. the only place that’ll play fair against coriolanus snow’s twisted games.

MONTHS LATER

“so you do win after all.”

the sound of his shoes scraping against the floor are different. you used to recognize his patterned steps, the way they scuffed the floor because the shoes he wore were too small.

turning around in your chair, you spot the new coriolanus snow. the man who fell off the face of the capital once Dr. Gaul was made aware of his cheating. now, you sit in the University library staring a different snow.

“I didn’t have to cheat for it.”

he rolls his eyes taking the seat across from you at the table. your notes are scattered amongst the table, and you look the same minus the bags you wear under your eyes. university changed you. and district twelve certainly changed him. working through the ranks to move to district two, only to be summoned by Dr. Gaul for a second chance in the capital. he arrived home yesterday, and made it his plans to find you. which wasn’t hard, since you spent all your life in this exact library anyway.

“I learned my lesson. you caught me.” he raises his hands up in defense, you spot the marks against his forearm. leaning forward, you carefully wrap your fingers around his pale skin, “snake bite?”

“they aren’t friendly in the wild.”

a chuckle escapes your lips as you release his arm from your light grip, “they were friendly to Lucy gray.”

“well she’s not so friendly to me anymore.”

“oh corio, you should know cheating for a girl never makes a good impression.” you smile brightly. leaning back into your seat, you get a better look at him. the buzzcut suits him, bringing his bright blue eyes more to the center of his looks.

he exhales a deep sigh nodding in agreement, “I’m a changed man, thanks to you. you taught me a lot.”

“so what are you doing home, snow? I thought you were out of here for twenty years.” at least those were the rumors you heard. nobody spoke of sejanus or coriolanus much anymore, and while you worried if tattling was the right thing to do, you’re happy to see he came back a better version of himself.

“you didn’t hear?” he asks. shaking your head you gesture for him to continue, “I’ll be working closely with Dr. Gaul. I’m back to the capital, and I’m back to mess with you.”

you wish he could’ve seen how far you rolled your eyes back, but he was long gone after that, leaving you alone to study once again. you knew Coriolanus wouldn’t last twenty years away from you. not since he was practically in love with you.

#coriolanus snow #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow x you #Coriolanus snow x y/n #coriolanus snow fanfiction #coriolanus snow fic #the hunger games the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games #coriolanus snow imagine #tom blyth #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the ballad of songbirds and snakes x reader

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penultimate-step · 4 months ago

Text

Lately, I've been thinking about the effect of real-world time on perception of media. Or, wait, let me start from the beginning.

When I was 11, I read the book Ender's Game for some school assignment or another. I don't remember ever considering Ender a relatable character, but certainly my understanding of the events was shaped by being of an age to see the protagonist not so much as a young child but as someone of my peer group, someone who could have been slotted amongst my classmates without anybody batting an eye.

Over a decade later, I read the sequel, Speaker for the Dead; it takes place many years later, when Ender is in his thirties, and my feelings about the in-universe time skip were undeniably shaped by the real life time gap between my reading of the novels. Reading the first book back then and then the second book now created a feeling where it's almost like, I'm browsing the facebook page of someone I had known in middle school but lost contact with, checking up on how they're doing today. The real-time factor caused me to perceive it less like a timeskip, and more like a reunion - the feelings were closer to "oh wow, that's my boy! I haven't seen him in years! Wonder what he's up to?" Which in turn gave me a better position to appreciate the parts of the narrative about him struggling to find a place in his adulthood than I would have been had I perceived it more strictly as a quick skip from 11 to 20 to 36.

While musing about this, I considered a VN I played a few years back, which took place over three in-game days - except at the end of one in-game day, the game would lock you out from progressing for 24 hours real time. So that as the in-game investigator protagonist was ruminating on the information that had been discovered that day, the player would be forced to do the same. In this example, by forcing the player to experience the same timeframe as the in-game characters, the sense of it being an in-depth and extensive investigation increases, even though without the forced pauses the game would be short enough to blow through in a handful of hours real-time.

Which brings to mind how time effects things in long-running serial works. It's well known that an audience which watches an episode or reads a chapter week by week has a very different experience than one binging through whole seasons or volumes at a time, but I wonder if the real time relative to the in-universe time makes that effect stand out more? Fight scenes, for instance, have been known to take up several chapters in certain manga or webnovels. What does it do to the reader's perception, if from their point a view a fight takes a whole month, while for the characters they read about it's only been a couple hours? Readers might feel that the situation is more stressful, since the pressure of the fight has been ongoing for a long time for them, while in-universe it was a rough afternoon but no more than that. Contrastingly, when a series skips ahead or otherwise has long periods of time for characters that feel short for readers, it can feel like no time has passed and everything is still the same, unless the author really stresses the differences in world-state that occurred offscreen. Because the reader hasn't changed at all.

No conclusion here exactly, I just think it's interesting how often an audience's response to a work, the emotions felt, are more closely tied to their real-life timescale, something almost completely out of the author's control, as opposed to in-universe time, which can be intentionally shifted or played with for the sake of the narrative.

#speaker for the dead #fiction #step.blogger #step.books #ender's game

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illyrian-dreamer · 1 year ago

Text

Make a bargain with me

Rhys x reader angst/fluff one shot

Summary: Your unrequited love for your High Lord has seen you distancing yourself not just from Rhys, but the entire inner circle. Rhys is concerned, and confronts you.

Word count: 2.2k

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You shifted uncomfortably under Rhys’s stare, keeping your eyes fixed the night’s horizon, still with anticipation of starfall that was yet to begin.

“What’s going on Y/N?” he asked softly.

He had sprung you from your hideaway. It was stupid, really, to think you could escape him, or that he wouldn't follow.

Tonight on Starfall, when your family and friends were drinking and laughing and toasting to a better year ahead, you had held yourself back, observing from the sidelines, longing to partake as you had each year before.

But things were different now, you were different. It had been a stressful year to say the least – too many losses, too many sacrifices made on missions that you couldn’t come to terms with. Choices made, last words said – the turmoil of your mistakes was a constant loop in your mind, each of your missions weighing heavier than the last, a little piece of you left behind on along the way.

And where you would usually confess or turn to your family for the support you desperately craved, it was all skewed by the devastating, gut-wrenching love you had developed for your High Lord.

You wondered what your friends might say – their snorts and sorry smiles as you dreamed of a life with not just any High Lord, but the High Lord of the Night Court, who was only just finding his feet.

It was only shy of a decade since Rhys lost his sister and mother, leaving the male to wade through the trenches of grief alone, which were only deepened by the weight of responsibility as he assumed position as High Lord of the Night Court. You hadn't known him before he recruited you to the inner circle, but in your few years of working for Rhys, he had aged, maturing into his title and proving himself as a true and honest leader.

And in those years, not once had you seen him take to a lover or celebrate romance in his life. You knew that your love for Rhys would be nothing more than an imposition – a burden for him to manage in a world where he was not ready to love again, especially not someone like you.

But concealing your feelings had a very true affect in physicality – you were plagued with guilt, rigid by unrequited, unconfessed love practically bursting to come out. Skittish manoeuvres to avoid his touch, aloofness at times where you were known to share and console – you had done excellent work to distance yourself from Rhys, and with it the rest of the inner circle.

Even the blatant probing by Cassian to open up, or gentle suggestions from Azriel to join them on flights went politely declined as you assured them you were fine. And the times where your work was too much, when you needed to tell your High Lord the burdens you were baring and seek comfort from him as a friend – instead you bottled it up, unsure of what you might confess and afraid of the very real affect of someone who was not yet ready to love.

Rhysand had been particularly observant tonight. Your own behaviour was predictable as of late, but after the first bashful glances to the ground, reddened cheeks where you used to bite back, and the distant, distracted manner in which you watched on – you felt watchful violet eyes on you all evening.

The tipping point had been Rhysand’s speech, a glass of auburn liquid raised high as he spoke to his sincere care and affection for each of you in his circle. He was thankful for all of you, for being the self-made family he could have only ever dreamed of having. But as he spoke to each of the members, starting with his second-in-charge, followed by Mor, Cassian then Azriel, you had slipped from the room before he could get to you.

Because in that speech - he had shown that he still loved, just not in the way that you craved. And if you had learnt anything through both your career at the Night Court and from Rhys himself – it was that happiness could be stolen in an instant.

So you fled, heart thumping as you craved fresh air – overwhelmed with cyclical thoughts and foolish amounts of fae wine.

After a polite ten minutes, Rhys had followed, finding the flattened patch of roof you often sought out after long missions, now stripping you bare under his gaze.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

Rhys winced with worry. “I asked what’s going on with you?”

You forced a small smile, keeping your breathing as even as you could. You were trained to stay calm when interrogated, but somehow this was harder than some of the life threatening circumstances you had endured. It was almost laughable.

"Nothing at all," you forced your eyes to his, your stomach dropping at his beauty.

Rhys’s face remained concerned, completely unconvinced.

“Is it work?”

“No.” A half-truth.

Rhys nodded, a sense of relief that his court was not to blame.

A few moments of silence, you were burning from within, cheeks flushing yet again. You allowed for a moment to imagine his reaction if you were to tell him. Imagined his face as you confessed your feelings for him – your High Lord, your employer. How ridiculous and wildly inappropriate.

Your face flushed a deeper pink at the shame of it. Rhys’s eyes dotted to your cheeks, not missing a thing.

He leveled a look at you. “You can always be honest with me.” You felt a gentle caress on your mental shields, and it was an instinct you cursed yourself for to seize them higher at his touch.

You moved your eyes back to the horizon, sighing with frustration. He was here, he cared – perhaps you could just, try?

“How did you do it?” you asked ominously, a pained frown pulling at your brow.

Rhys shifted at your question, brows raising in surprise. “Do what?”

You cleared your throat. “How did you let yourself love again, when you know how quickly it can be taken away?”

Rhys nodded slowly, violet eyes softening with understanding.

“Would you believe me if I said it was easy?” he replied.

You gave a small laugh, looking down at your hands. “No, actually.”

“Well it was.”

Another beat of silence.

“Opening my home to all of you, creating this family is the easiest thing I’ve ever done, because it was meant to be.”

You nodded back. You would never tell him how easy it is for you to fall in love with him too. How quickly it had happened, how natural it felt for you.

“I would risk everything I have to have to keep you all safe and content, even just for one more day.”

His words struck you. Risk – there was too much to lose.

“I would risk everything I have for anyone I love, I think,” he continued. “I know that now, that it’s important to let go of what I can’t control, and let myself risk it all.”

He loved your family so dearly – it felt traitorous to indulge in the idea that your love could evolve past the sincere platonic form that it took now. You were greedy, spoilt.

“But that doesn’t just apply to my love for my court.”

Huh?

“As you know, anyone I care for is automatically a target beyond Velaris. My brothers, Mor, Amren.” Rhys paused. “And you.”

You looked up at him, his violet eyes unreadable as stars winked in their depths.

“I don’t want you to risk what you have for me,” your voice was barely a whisper, and you wondered if he sensed the deeper implication of your words.

Rhys wore a soft, sideways smile as he spoke. “You are well worth the risk.”

You were sure he could hear your fastened heart, no longer able to conceal your feelings. For a year your secret had lived at the tip of your tongue, threatening to ruin everything you had. It was too much to bare.

Silent tears started to run down your cheeks.

Rhys’s eyebrows clenched in concern, and he stepped towards you, reaching to brush them away with a stroke of of his cool fingers. You tried to step away, turning your face in shame – but he held your shoulders, a gentle hand pulling your chin to face him.

Violet beheld you again, and you forced yourself to not look away. Maybe you could face him, face your truth. Maybe, you could be as brave as him.

“You are so beautiful, Y/N,” Rhys said softly, his hands cupping your face as he brushed away your tears. “I don’t think I need to tell you that I’m very fond of you.”

Your heart thrummed, pulsing with instinct. Say it, out loud, risk it! it seemed to shout.

You bought your hands up to his, holding them as you took a deep breath.

“And I am fond of you.”

Rhys’s face lit up as stars twinkled in his eyes. He was devastatingly handsome, and the smile that pulled at his sharp cheek bones threatened your knees to buckle.

You couldn’t help the tears that kept running. You were given in, risking it all, and there was no coming back.

Rhys leaned in close to your face, his fresh scent filling the air around you. He placed a gentle kiss on each of your tear stained cheeks before licking the salty liquid from his perfect lips.

You stared at him in awe, his beauty enveloping your view.

“Fond, on my behalf, is an understatement,” he murmured, tilting your chin upwards to him.

A gentle hand snaked behind your back, pulling you against his body. The feeling of him softly pressed to you made you throb, and you continued to stare up at his face, unable to hide your own shock.

He brushed your hair behind your ear, before cupping your jaw.

“So beautiful,” he said again, before leaning down and placing his lips on yours gently.

The kiss was soft, more attentive than you had ever experienced. You succumbed to it, letting your body relax into his hold as he pulled you in closer with the arm at your back, strengthening to hold your knees truly gave out at his touch.

You own arms naturally made their way to his hair and neck, trying to pull yourself closer.

Rhys chuckled into the kiss, inhaling as he traced his tongue along your lips, asking for permission.

A moan escaped you as you gained Rhys his entrance, his tongue sliding sensually over yours.

Your skin was alight, senses heightened and perked as every part of you ached and begged to never let go.

But a guilty conscience had Rhys pulling away from your lips, a small smirk pulling at your frustrated moan.

“Y/N,” he straightened, suddenly more serious. “I didn't come here to only confess my affection.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you did,” you hummed, fingers on your mouth as your lips tingled with his lingering touch.

When Rhys chuckled, you swore it pleased the Gods.

“The others are just as concerned as I am. You’re withdrawn, proper sleep has escaped you for months, and–"

Your mouth twitched, before you flew up to plant a quick peck on his lips, silencing him. “And what of you, High Lord? How much do you burry in that head of yours? It is hard to know how much to burden onto you, when you are already dealing with so much.”

Violet eyes danced between yours in thought. “Make a bargain with me.”

Your brow quirked. “Pardon me?”

“Promise me, to share the things with which you need support so you may not burden them alone. And I will promise to do the same.”

“Rhys,” you breathed, honoured yet anxious at the vulnerability weaved into a bargain such as that. “Do you know what you’re asking each of us to confess?”

Rhys smiled, shaking his head. “With conditions, of course. This will be for those things that you know you shouldn’t keep to yourself, the truths you know the other would want to help with.”

You couldn't help the grin that pulled at your cheeks. “You’re mad.”

Rhys flicked your nose. “I know what it is to rot from within, Y/N. And in a world of magic and power and darkness, I will not let you burden it alone.”

“Rysand…”

Rhys all but moaned, pulling you in for a searing kiss. “Say yes,” he murmured against your lips.

With clenched eyes, you nodded, aware of the itching sensation on your neck as Rhys enveloped you with another kiss, the etching of your bargain searing to your skin.

A gentle talon stroked at your mind then, hinting with sensuality.

You opened your eyes, forcing your shields down for the first time in years.

Rhys growled as he entered your mind, pulling you flush against him as he kissed you deeply. And as the night sky became alive with iridescent streaks of light, the beginnings of starfall went neglected as you and Rhys explored a world of your own.

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AN: Hello dreamers, I just had to get out a one-shot, and I had a few requests to write for the most handsome High Lord! I sincerely hope you liked this, I haven't done a one-shot in a HOT minute!! So glad to be back with them. Comment to join my main tag list anytime, MWA!

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nurse-floyd · 6 months ago

Note

Let me set the scene:

It's the Vegas Grand Prix, 2023. Lando has his crash, is high as a bloody kite in the hospital. Lando sees his nurse and I'd convinced he's dead bc 'why else would there be a legit angel?'

This is super short and silly but I absolutely adore this request! Thank you <3

P.S. I also love this and it is possibly one of my favourite photos of him! Boy is high as balls.

The red emergency phone rang, signaling an incoming ambulance, and you answered it with a sigh. "Mercy General Emergency Department," you answered as you clicked your pen and got the handover sheet ready to write down the patient information.

"Male…24…high-speed crash into a wall," you repeated back to dispatch that alerted you to the incoming patient, hating that you’d be spending what was left of your shift dealing with someone’s drunken antics or stupidity that had crashed them into a wall.

"How fast was he going?" you asked, not expecting the answer.

"180."

"Come again? 180mph and he’s still alive?" you repeated, not being able to hide the shock. "Do we need blood? X-Ray? Trauma surgeons and blood on standby? No one has called ahead." You suddenly woke up from the usual lull you felt around this time during your shift, your mind suddenly in full trauma mode.

"No, just precautionary checks. Patient is a Formula One driver and has been cleared by track medics, but they want a second opinion at the hospital and some scans in case."

Then it hit you…you followed F1 and had done for a few years. You’d been following the race on your phone during your breaks and knew Lando had crashed out during turn 14.

"Okay. Thank you, have you got an ETA?"

Dispatch relayed the time of arrival that gave you enough time to announce it over the tannoy and for your team to gather in one of the trauma rooms. You also called in security because you knew the press would be vultures all over this.

With the trauma room ready, you all waited for the arrival of your VIP patient. If you were being truthful, you were a little nervous at meeting one of your celebrity crushes but also knew you needed to keep it professional. What you didn’t expect was the goofy look on Lando’s face as he was wheeled on a stretcher into the room.

As soon as the paramedic crew had handed over and you’d transferred him over to the bed, you began attaching him to monitors and got your list of investigations and tests you’d need to perform from the doctor in charge.

The paramedics had clearly dosed him up with the good meds as he stirred in and out of consciousness, his eyes glassy and the goofy smile still plastered on his face every time his eyes met yours.

You woke him up once again, ready to check his pupils and GCS once more when he was a little more alert than he’d been since he arrived.

"Woah…am I dead?" his voice came out slightly slurred.

"The heart monitor beeping next to you would say otherwise," you laughed in reply.

"Are you sure, because why else would an actual angel be standing in front of me right now?"

You couldn’t help another laugh that escaped your lips as you watched him try to focus on you.

"And that would be the morphine," you fiddled with his IV and checked the fluids running before you input a few more things on his chart.

“I don’t think it is…” he slurred once more, “I know an angel when I see one.”

You were about to reply when you looked up from his chart and saw he’d fallen asleep, his head against his chest. You got up from your seat and adjusted his pillows so his neck wouldn’t be even more painful in the morning.

#f1 #formula 1 #formula one #lando norris #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris fluff #lando norris fanfiction #lando norris fanfic #lando norris fic #my writing #beth writes #vivwritesfics

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4wkjun · 1 month ago

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✴ Kinktober, day five: breeding kink with Soobin

✴ Word count: 1,7K ✴ Content warning: unprotected sex, nipple play, masturbation (f!receiving), love birds, curse words. ✴ Taglist: @starsareseen , @lucid-sombra, @enha13 , @karinashairdryer, @kim2005bomi, @lunathewritingcat , @hyunj00

✴ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! ✴

✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴

After an exhausting week, you finally slept until your energy was fully charged. You woke up around 09:30 A.M. on a Saturday, being held hostage by your adorable husband.

“Soob?”, you mumbled, turning around to face him. His left arm held you against his body as if you were the most precious thing he ever had.

You looked at him, completely peaceful – and half-naked, which made the view nicer for you – in his sleep. You couldn’t get over how precious and pretty he looked, wishing you had a bunch of mini Soobins running around your house.

“Babe?”, you said, softly this time. You glued your lips to his soft cheek, kissing it tenderly. “Wake up, sleepyhead”, you mumbled, kissing down his jaw.

Soobin hummed, his arm holding you closer – but eyes still closed. You kept pecking his jaw and neck, waiting for his response. A few seconds passed by and you chuckled.

“I know you’re awake, Bin.”

“Shhh, I’m not”, he mumbled. “Keep kissing.”

You laughed, giving his neck a slight and playful bite.

“Is it too early for us to talk?”

“Depends”, he said, finally opening his puffy eyes. He leaned back a little, letting go of his strong grip to look you in the eyes. “How much trouble am I in?”

“Mmm… None.”

“Then we can talk”, he smiled lazily. You smiled back.

“We’ve been married for almost two years”, you started. “How do you feel… about us starting to try for a baby?”

Instead of answering, Soobin looked at you, almost blankly. Your blood suddenly ran cold on your body, afraid he’d said he changed his mind about his vows and didn’t want a big family anymore.

“Babe?”, you said, nervous.

“Uh, sorry”, he said, eyes focusing on you again. “Yeah, I’d love that!”

“You sure? ‘Cause you looked a little… tormented right now”, you said, casually running your fingers down his jawline.

“Nah, my mind just ran a few miles ahead of my sanity, sorry”, he said, chuckling a little. His big hand left your back, now caressing your head. “I can’t wait for our family to grow bigger.”

You smiled, leaning in to peck his plump lips. It turns out that’s what being married is about, not giving a single shit about only kissing after brushing your teeth.

“Should we start now?”, he said in a lower tone, hand moving down your ass. He gently squeezed the flesh and pulled you closer by the leg – throwing your leg on his hip –, allowing your core to feel his morning wood.

“Jesus, how did that just happen?” you said playfully.

Soobin blushed, his hand now caressing your thigh. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

“Nah, too bad, mister”, you said, hand reaching for his biceps. You slowly dragged your nails on his skin, watching the goosebumps hit him right on the spot. “Tell me.”

With a sigh, Soobin’s hand entered your pajama shorts and squeezed your ass again. “The thought of… me… fucking you raw… drove me a little over the edge.”

Your eyes widened, surprised by the sudden confession. The two of you had discussed kinks and boundaries since you started dating – almost seven years ago –, and yet, he never mentioned having this kink.

“Oh, Soobie”, you cooed, hand traveling through his shoulder to reach the nape of his neck. “You never told me you wanted so bad to feel me creaming around your fat cock.”

Soobin mumbled something incoherent, squeezing your ass harder. He didn’t respond, just leaned in to kiss you – properly, this time.

He gently pushed you towards the back, getting you almost 100% on your back and his body a little over yours – both of your legs opened for him. Your husband got himself perfectly fit between your legs, his hard cock pressing against your clothed pussy as his lips abused yours.

He wasted no time, his left hand letting go of your ass to sneak into your shirt, rough palm against your soft skin. In a matter of seconds, his big hand squeezed your right boob, making you smile through the kiss.

Soobin left a wet trace of messy kisses down your jaw and neck, his hand still massaging the flesh of your boob – but not even touching your hard nipple. His lips reached your clavicle, leaving a harsh suck that no one else would be able to see at work.

“Hey, don’t do that”, you mumbled, chuckling. “Are you a horny teenager?”

“Yes, now undress”, Soobin responded, laughing along. You only laughed louder, pulling him in for a kiss, moaning as soon as his tongue touched yours.

One of Soobin’s arms was flexed on the bed, supporting his weight, while the other let go of your boob to pull your shirt. He managed to expose your bare boobs and let go of your lips to attach his to your left breast.

You moaned, your nipple way too sensitive against his hot tongue. Your hand closed around his soft black locks without giving it a second thought, just enjoying the wave of pleasure he provided.

A few minutes ago, you were surprised by how hard Soobin became with nothing but words leaving your lips. Now you were a moaning mess beneath him, ready to beg for him to fuck you until you got numb.

“Bin, please”, you mumbled, reaching for his free hand and placing it right above your (now) dripping pussy. He scoffed, letting go of your nipple to look at you, a huge smirk painted on his lips.

“Tell me, what do you want?”

“Your cock, please.”

“Mmm, I was thinking about eating you out…”, he said, still smirking. “I guess I’m gonna have to skip it since you don’t want me to.”

Before you could answer, his fingers started moving against your clothed clit. You sucked your breath in, closing your eyes harshly.

“No, I…”, you started, fighting to keep your eyes open. “You can…”

Soobin laughed, shaking his head before giving your nipple a single lick. You whined, hand still caressing (or trying to) his scalp.

“I can feel your shorts getting damp”, he whispered before sucking your nipple properly again. You nodded, eyes hooded looking at him.

“Please, babe”, you whined.

His cock was twitching inside of his underwear, the single piece of clothing keeping his body away from yours. Soobin knew you slept with no underwear, only an old t-shirt and a comfortable pair of shorts, so he decided to stop messing around.

With patience – more than you wanted –, Soobin’s lips left your nipple as he removed his hand from your clothed clit, and pulled his underwear down and your shorts to the side. He used his (now) free hand to adjust himself to your slit, his excitement growing bigger as he finally could feel your warm pussy directly against his cock.

“Can I?”, he asked with hazed eyes, rubbing his shaft from your clit to your entrance, making himself hold a moan.

“Please”, you meowed.

With care, Soobin pushed his tip in, your walls extremely tight due to the lack of preparation. Soobin was big, and you knew it. It burned a little, but you could deal with a little discomfort for a few seconds.

“Jesus, you’re so tight”, he moaned, head buried in your neck. You kept massaging his scalp while he slowly kept pushing himself in. Your gummy walls felt heavenly for Soobin – and he knew he’d had to think about something else or he’d cum super fast.

He bottomed out and you could feel a little bump on your lower stomach due to the size difference of you two, and you moaned as your hand left his soft hair and pressed the bulge down. Soobin groaned.

“You love how far you can feel me, don’t you?”, he whispered, nipping at your earlobe.

Slowly, Soobin started to fuck you, going in and out at a delicious pace. Usually, you’d beg him to go faster, but his slow and hard thrusts had your eyes going way past your eyelids.

“Bin”, you moaned, holding against his flexed biceps. “I love you”, you let out – for no apparent reason.

“I love you more, bun”, he groaned against your skin. “I’mma impregnate you so good, you’ll be so fucking hot, glowing pregnant.”

As you bit your lips to contain a moan, you finally understood: Soobin got so horny out of nowhere because he had a breeding king and never told you.

“Yes, please”, you moaned, smiling a bit. “I want your cum in me, Binnie, please!”

Soobin groaned, thrusting harder than before. “Your walls feel so soft around me, I can’t wait to have them dripping my cum.”

You brought your hand to your clit, circling it slowly to match his thrusts. None of you would last.

“You’ll cream around my cock, won’t you?”, he moaned, thrusts erratic as you kept clenching around his shaft. “In a few months, you’ll be full of one of my babies, right?”

“Yes Bin, please”, you whined, feeling your orgasm close.

“I’ll have you cumming around my cock every day until I get you filled up real nice, you got it?” he mumbled, eyes strongly closed as he felt himself close too.

Even though Soobin got almost numb with all of the pleasure, he noticed you started holding your breath, silently announcing you were about to cum.

“Cum for me, be a good girl creaming around my fat cock.”

That was it. His single sentence drove you to cloud nine, orgasm exploding inside of you with a high-pitched moan. A few seconds later, Soobin came as well, finally painting your walls white with his thick cum. He kept thrusting for a while, not wanting to waste a single drop.

Finally, Soobin let his weight down on you, almost crushing you underneath him.

“Babe,” you whined. Still brain-fogged.

Soobin said nothing, just held your body tight and turned around, laying his body on the mattress again – his cock still buried deep inside of you. You moaned.

“We need to talk about this breeding kink you never told me about”, you whispered ten seconds after, breaking the silence.

“Shhh, I’ll fuck you until you can’t walk first. Then we’ll talk.”

You laughed, nodding. Soobin gave you a peck on the lips and closed his eyes for a long minute. Turns out you barely left the bed that day.

#soobin smut #soobin x reader #txt smut #txt kinktober #kpop kinktober #soobin kinktober

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catsushizz · 5 months ago

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Let Time Pass - S.R

Spencer Reid x Fem!reader

Summary: you reminisce about the time when you met Spencer Reid at college and had a night of adventure that you'll never forget, but after that, you never spoke, until Penelope Garcia found your unsent letters and decided to play the savior of your undying love.

Genre: mutual pining, angst if you squint, but mostly fluff

WC: 3.2k

Warning: kissing, cursing, invading private property

A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this, actually, guess the rom-com that inspired me to write this. I'll give you a hint, the first movie has "sunrise" in the title and the second movie includes unsent letters with addresses hehe.

---

Summer rain has always been your favorite accompanied by the sound of the patter of the raindrops. You looked outside your window with a faraway look, your glasses now above your hair as you took a break from reading the unsent letters.

Unsent letters you wrote when you were in college, being in love with someone for so long who you're not sure still remembers you can be draining, you've loved him since the first time he acknowledged your presence during class and when he took you out of campus when it was just the two of you.

Love comes in forms and somehow Spencer's was when he first spewed those few words to you when you were talking to your friends but they weren't paying attention so you stopped and just sat there embarrassed.

"Wasn't Centralia a town that is still burning to this day?" He had asked and your eyes held the universe at his question. You got his name, Spencer Reid and that name hasn't left your mind ever since then.

Love comes in forms and yours are letters.

After that night, you never spoke again, he got his Ph.Ds and life got in the way. You're pretty sure he doesn't remember you, and you're sure he's got his way with life now, maybe he settled down and you're still pining for a man who you're not sure still remembers you.

You remembered how the night went with him, you actually talked until sunrise. At first, you walked around campus and then explored the city together. He told you about his mom, his goals, everything he hasn't said to anyone, and you told him about everything, your secrets that you haven't said to your best friend yet.

You sighed as you shook yourself out of your reverie, you looked down at your letter and traced the dust off from your neatly written letter.

the letter was a year old, you used to write letters every day when you first met him but when you graduated you never stopped but it became less frequent as time passed. Now you write one letter every year and put it inside a box but this time you decide to stop, finally stop chasing your fantasies and let life slap you in the face.

You laughed at your ridiculousness then you heard the door creek and your gaze landed on your best friend. "Hi Pen" you smiled at her.

Penelope's gaze landed on the box in your hand "What's that?" She asked.

You rolled your eyes and stood up from your couch engulfing her in a tight hug "Stop being nosy and when did you arrive?"

She groaned at the contact "50 minutes ago" you laughed and let go of her.

"were you stuck in a conversation with Mom?" She nodded and let her gaze drift off to the box again.

"Seriously, is that your box from college? You never let me touch it and can you please let me see it, I'm older than you, in case you forgot" she insisted as she made the gesture of getting it out of your grasp.

You smacked her in her arms and hissed "No, and you'll never touch this, I don't care how old you are" You glared at her but it held no threat.

"Fine, dinner is ready your Mom asked me to get you" she grumbled and you let out a huff of amusement.

Penelope was never nosy when it came to you but it's been years since you've ever been with someone and she had a hunch that the box had something to do with it.

"Go on ahead I'm going to change in the bathroom," Penelope said straight up lying in front of your face. You didn't question it as it seems believable, perks of working with profilers.

You only hummed and you made a mistake by putting the box inside your closet without locking it. As soon as you left Penelope got out of the bathroom and searched for your box which wasn't hard to find.

She made sure you were completely out of sight before opening it, she didn't know what she expected but surely it wasn't this. Her jaw went slack as she read through your letters from when you were in college until last year, some were long and some were short, with dates in the corner of each letter.

Spencer Reid, her Mighty professor, Her boy genius.

You stopped, why did you stop? She thought while she read through the recent content. She had to do something about it, she had to help you.

Penelope breathed in, fixed her hair in the mirror, and got out of the room, pretending as if she hadn't shoved a box inside her bag and invaded her best friend's privacy, she's doing it for you so it can't be that bad right?

You were laughing at something your dad said but stopped when you saw how unsettled Penelope was "Pen what's wrong?" You asked, your voice laced with concern.

Now she felt guilty, she felt like throwing up but this was for you. "Nothing, I- I just uh, need to go I feel like I forgot something at home" she stammered as she made her way to the door.

"What? Let me drive you home" You stood up from your seat, your mom and dad looking between you two with suspicion in their eyes.

"No!" Penelope abruptly exclaimed, her hand flailing around for you to stop, making you and your parents flinch at the volume of her voice.

She cleared her throat and pushed her bag away from sight which didn't go unnoticed by you "I can drive myself and besides I got something to drop off at a friend's house" she chuckled awkwardly.

You hesitantly sat back down and nodded "Okay... Call me when you get home" You smiled at her and she nodded. She didn't change her clothes but you thought none of it, maybe that was the thing that she forgot.

---

Spencer was lounging on his couch when he heard the loudest knock he had ever heard in his entire life. His brows knitted together as he peeped at the peephole of his door before opening it.

"Garcia?" He mumbled while looking at the frantic girl in front of him, if he didn't know any better she would've murdered someone but that was just a silly thought.

Penelope pushed Spencer inside urgently and pushed a box against his chest, he had to balance himself at the force.

"What's this?" He asked, confusion evident on his face. Penelope sighed and she sat down on the couch with her hand on her face.

"Do you remember a girl in college?" She muttered, her voice barely visible but he heard her.

"You need to be more specific than that, Penelope" Spencer said and pursed his lips as he put the box on the table and sat down beside her.

Penelope frowned as she looked at Spencer "A girl who you spoke to once and never heard from ever again" she said, her body fully facing him.

She noticed his expression doesn't change and she groaned "For a person who has an eidetic memory, you're shit at remembering" she grumbled.

Spencer looked offended "What?! You're the one talking about a girl without context, do you know how many people I spoke to at college? 80% of those people-" Penelope clicked her tongue and signaled for him to stop.

She took the box from the table and pushed it back to his chest which made him glare at her, she ignored him.

"Open it" she demanded. Spencer studied her tense figure and the way she was trying to hug herself to make herself feel better.

"I feel like you stole something that isn't yours-" he said but found himself being cut off by Penelope's hissed.

"Stop profiling me and open the damn box" she whined as she stood up from the couch and paced around his apartment.

Spencer shook his head as he finally opened the box. He looked at Penelope in confusion and when he saw it was a bunch of old letters.

"Whose this for?" He questioned.

"For you, obviously! I wouldn't have brought it to you if it weren't addressed to you" she exclaimed.

"But there isn't any address on these" he shuffled through the letters, they were still in the envelopes.

"Just read it!"

"Garcia, you do know you just invaded someone's privacy right?"

"I know, just read it. Please?"

Spencer sighed and nodded his head. He started on the first letter that was technically open and he let his gaze back to Garcia who was now sweating in guilt.

When he opened it, he felt his heart beginning to thump. Garcia watched him carefully as she noticed his expression gradually changed.

Dear, Spencer Reid

Do you remember when you first talked to me? I remember thinking that you're the kind of man I'm willing to put my life at risk for. I'm sure you endured me rambling about the burning town (that is still burning to this day apparently and it's been 7 years since we last spoke)

But what I'm trying to say is, I'm still in love with you, pathetic I know. But I just can't seem to let you go, you're like impossible not to remember and each day I try to forget about you and move past my ability to love so deeply but I can't.

Do you remember when you talked to me about your mom? I was so proud of you for coming up that far for your mom, and when we sneaked in on a bar and actually stole a bottle of wine? I couldn't stop laughing that time. God, I keep recalling that memory.

I shared all of my thoughts with you, spilled all my secrets to you, and at some point we held hands and I was so shocked because you told me you had a thing with germs. Honestly, it made me feel special.

I'm scared that if I see you again you'll think I'm weird and obsessive, which I'm not! I can stomach a rejection and I'll completely leave you alone if you ask me to. I'm just really bad at letting people go you know?

But I won't drag this on for long, you're not gonna see this anyway, and one last thing, I hope you have the best life the universe has to offer. I'll talk to them face to face if they are mean to you.

This will be my last letter, I'm letting you go now. I've been so in love with you that I feel like I'll be stuck in a loophole where life is trying to berate me every time for not saying anything to you, for not congratulating you when you graduated because I was feeling too shy to approach you that day. I wish I had, then maybe we could've talked more and had the time of our lives and maybe a repeat of what we did when we first met.

I'm just hoping life is a little bit gentler with you this time.

Yours truly

The girl who you talked to until sunrise

When he finished reading the letter he was silent for a good 3 minutes, and then he started shuffling through the letters and read them all like a madman. Penelope had to stop herself from stopping him.

God did he remember you, fucking hell he remembers you. You've been on his mind for 8 years. He even found himself in tears, he didn't expect someone to love him this much. Yearn for him like he yearns for you.

Spencer wasn't the type of guy who got over things easily and he had come to accept it as a part of him, the pair of you spoke once yet he can't deny the spark he felt while talking to you. If it were anybody else he would've found a way to get out of the conversation but your voice was addicting and so was your ramble about the old town.

He even went as far as to pretend not to know about the things that happened within that town just so he could hear your voice a little while longer. Your conversation shifted as time passed and Spencer found himself talking about anything really, he even made jokes that you found funny and he couldn't ignore the flutter in his stomach when he saw you smile.

When he saw you under the first light of the day, he felt himself fall in love, even if the time was fleeting his love wasn't, it never was.

Every time he was on death's door, you were always the subject of his memories. He keeps recalling the night when he felt like the universe was in his favor only for it to laugh at his face when he didn't see you again.

"I can help you, she's at the bar right now, she texted me," Penelope said, snapping him back down on earth.

He wiped a stray tear and sniffled "No, it's too late, she stopped writing like a year ago" he muttered and Penelope noticed the pain in his voice.

"Don't be ridiculous, I know her, she could be writing a letter right now as we speak" Penelope laughed.

"At a bar?"

"It was a joke, Spencer. Now let's go get your girl, Prince Charming!" She grinned as she dug through her bag for her keys.

"I don't know... I feel like I'm just digging my own grave, Garcia. I can't bear to hear her say that she doesn't feel the same way anymore" He whispered, his voice small as he avoided Penelope's disapproving look.

"That girl watches rom-coms, Spence. Do you think she'll brush off her feelings that easily? Try watching Serendipity and come back to me and try again but right now we need to hurry" She grabbed his arms and dragged him out of his apartment.

She stopped when they got into her car "Promise me you won't tell her I gave you the letter" she said sternly.

"But how am I supposed to explain why I'm there?" He asked confused.

"You're a genius, figure it out," she said as she buckled her seatbelt.

---

You were sitting in a booth with your friends. After having dinner with your parents, your friends invited you to a bar where you felt inclined to come, but you didn't know how to decline.

The air was suffocating so you excused yourself and got out of the bar. You sigh as your gaze shifts to the sky, Spencer would've pointed you to the constellation that was present right now.

"The one you're looking at right now is Aquila" You whipped your head to the familiar voice and you heard yourself gasp.

Spencer smiled when your eyes met "The brightest star in the constellation is Altair" he said as he began walking towards you.

"There is a story of an old Chinese legend about two stars, Altair and Vega, In the story two people met and fell in love but were separated by the stars" he was now in front of you, his hands in his pajama pocket, he turned red as he realized what he was wearing.

"What are you doing here?" You said, at a loss for words. He looked different but not in a bad way. He looked good. Hot even.

Spencer chuckled awkwardly, he always knew you were beautiful but God, you are gorgeous now.

You averted your gaze when you noticed a figure in the distance then your blood ran cold when you saw Penelope, Spencer noticed.

"Don't be mad at her, she helped me find you" he defended urgently as he grabbed your arms. You knitted your brows together.

"How d- did you two meet?" You stammered.

"We worked together" he rubbed his nape, a nervous tick that you notice.

Spencer was so sure he knew what to say to you but now that you're actually in front of him, he was left speechless.

"I never told her about you- did you read the letters?!" You exclaimed, your hand flying to your mouth in shock.

Spencer looked guilty as he averted his gaze to the ground "Yes..." He trailed off.

"God, you must think I'm crazy" you grumbled as you kept fiddling with the hem of your t-shirt.

"Hey, I don't think you're crazy" he whispered as he cupped your face with his hand "I actually find it endearing that you still think of me to this day, and just so you know you haven't left my mind either" he softly said, his face was so close you could feel his breath hitting your cheeks.

He tucks a stray hair out of your face, his eyes holding adoration as he meets your eyes again "Really?" You whispered.

His eyes darted to your lips and he felt himself subconsciously lick his lips "Yeah" he muttered.

He brushed his lips against yours as if testing the waters and when you fluttered your eyes shut, he kissed you as if he was going to devour you.

He breathed in as he kissed you, a certain longing lingered in the air. He pulled away to take a breath but then you surged forward and connected your lips against him for the second time, his hand on your waist as he pushed you closer against him, your hand snaking its way to the hair on his nape as you tugged him closer making him groaned in the kiss.

He tugged on your bottom lip asking for permission which you granted and he slid his tongue in, you tasted so sweet he found himself starting to get addicted. You were a panting mess when both of you separated, his forehead resting against yours, your eyes still closed as you took deep breaths.

Spencer rubbed his nose against yours affectionately and you giggled "You know you'll be stuck with me for a long time right?" You muttered.

"Make it forever" he grins, he connects his lips back to you but this time it is softer than the first, you kiss him back as you both fall in a rhythm.

When you pulled back he chased your lips and that made you chuckle "I'm still mad at her for stealing my letters" you muttered.

"Don't be, please. She's the reason I get to see you again" he said as he pulled you in a hug, your head resting against his chest as he pressed a kiss on the crown of your head.

"And I can't believe you were about to give up on me" Spencer joked lightly and you poked him on his hip making him jolt in surprise.

"Hey! Not fair, what was I supposed to do?" You whined and he laughed.

"to make it seem fair" he looks down on you as you meet his gaze, still in his warm embrace "I wrote about you in my journal, all my journals are full of you" he smiled.

You gasp "what? Let me read it please? you've read my letters" you pleaded.

He hummed "Nope, come on Penelope's waiting in the car" he said as he leads you to Penelope's car with his hand on your back.

"That's totally unfair, but I will snoop around"

"No, you won't"

"You snooped on my letters without my permission, so it's right that I should too," you said smugly.

"Shouldn't you be doing that to Penelope?"

"Oh yeah, let's do it"

-----

Please interact and reblog my post if you like it, it makes me happy hehe :D

The divider is from @cafekitsune :)

#spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer x reader #x reader #dr spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x you #spencer reid angst #penelope garcia #catsushizz writings #fanfics #mgg

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skyahri · 2 months ago

Text

Shock |Kakashi Hatake X Reader|

Summary: An uninvited guest on Kakashi’s doorstep might be a little trouble, but it's worth it in the end.

Warnings: canon compliant violence, mentions of blood and death, reader is in shock, medical equipment.

Masterlist Ko-fi

- - - - -

"I'm sorry, I um- I don't know why I'm here."

Out of curiosity, Kakashi cracks his front door open just a bit wider so he can get a better look at you. You're in your anbu attire, blood coating your clothes and splattered on your face. Your hands are shaking and you're shifting on your feet. You look manic- pupils blown and an unreadable expression on your face.

"It's kinda funny that I am, though, right? Knocking on your door in the middle of the night, covered in blood like a lunatic."

He peeks out into the hall, but there's no one else. No secondary footprints or chakra residuals. It's just you, like you said, covered in blood like a lunatic.

"You don't even like me and yet I still came here. I could've gone, well, anywhere else. I probably should've gone home... or the Hokage's office."

In your senseless muttering, you had gotten it right- you should've gone somewhere- anywhere- else. Why come here? While he's never been unnecessarily mean, he'd also never been kind to you, and yet here you are, waking him up at three in the morning, talking his ear off in some sort of haze.

"He'll probably want an update on my mission. He has to send a recovery team for the others, too. I think I need a medic before that, though. I hope he doesn't mind waiting."

He furrows his eyebrows at your rambling. You've always been a talker, but never like this. Never this unorganized and rushed, like your only goal was to fill the silence the night brought-

Wait.

"Recovery team?"

"It's kinda cold out don't you think? Usually, we have a few more weeks until it snows, but I think it's coming sooner this year. I've been trying to knit a blanket between missions, but I don't think I'll finish it before-"

You don't answer. You don't even acknowledge that he's said anything at all. You just keep talking. He's not sure what possessed him to do so (maybe it's his trauma responding to your off handed comment about a recovery team), but against better judgement, Kakashi sets his hand on your back and guides you inside his apartment. He locks the door before sitting you at his dining room table and searching around his cupboards for a cloth. He wets it, rings it out, and turns towards you.

"I found some really pretty yarn in Suna last year. Forest green and dandelion yellow and the most beautiful shade of blue I've ever seen. The woman who makes it gave me a pattern for an Afghan, said it's perfect for winter."

He wipes the cloth across your face, folding it over a few times to get as much blood as possible (why was there so much?) before returning to the sink to rinse it out and start again. He notices how you continue to stare straight ahead, completely unbothered by anything he's doing. Your words never falter, not even when he takes a firm hold of your face to make his task easier.

"I have four chakra natures... never really picked up lightning if I'm being honest. Did you know that? Nevermind, you're Kakashi, of course, you know that."

He tosses the rag into the sink and slowly moves to undo your weapon holster. It's light, and a quick peak in the pocket confirms that there's nothing left in there. He sets it aside, not really caring about the red puddle it's creating on the floor. He removes your gloves and kneels to untie your shoes.

"I copied that mudslide you use, by the way. It's crazy... changes the entire course of a battle in a split second. I'd say I hope you won't mind, but I know you will. You always mind when it comes to me."

He had you stand up and ushered you towards his bathroom. He turned on the faucet and tested the water to make sure it was warm. He grabbed the hem of your shirt and tapped your side, hoping that somewhere in your spaced out mind you'd get the hint and undress yourself. Lucky for him, you did, but not without falter.

"Your apartment's nice by the way. Very clean and organized and looks like someone actually lives here. All I have is a bed and a dresser. I don't have much time to appreciate anything else."

The motion was less than graceful. You used one hand to slip the tight fabric over your head and down your left arm, which stayed at your side despite the obstacle it caused. You expertly unclipped your bra and let it fall forward off your shoulders and to the ground, and had your pants and underwear there a second after. He doesn't stare, partially because he's already seen you naked before in the locker room from time to time, and partially because even in his perverted mind, he knows it's not the time.

"When I retire one day like you, I want my apartment to be just as homey. I'll be able to enjoy it since I'll be home longer than a day at a time."

He isn't too sure what to make of the current situation. He's pushing you under the showerhead, absently listening to you drone on, but all he can think about is how off-putting the whole thing is. You'd been in ops for a long time- long enough to not warrant a reaction like this after just any mission. Despite any sort of way he may have felt about you in the past, you've never been one to be affected by the carnage, a quality he's always appreciative of in his teammates. So what the Hell happened?

"My fifteenth anbu anniversary is coming up in December. Owl said he'd throw me a party, but I guess that's not happening anymore."

Your eyes fall from the wall in front of you to the drain on the ground. The water is muddy- the blood, sweat, and tears acquired from a month-long mission being washed away like nothing.

"I don't think I even like parties. I've never had one, which is why he offered in the first place. He wanted to celebrate my birthday, but I wouldn't tell him when it was. Drove him crazy."

Why is he even doing this? He must be losing it, honestly. Standing behind you, washing your hair as his clothes get completely soaked. This isn't something he's ever done, and even now, it's something he could never imagine doing for anyone else. You used to annoy the shit out of him, following him around in your youth and trying to be overly friendly when he clearly wasn't interested. If sixteen-year-old him had seen him in this moment, he'd surely have a fit.

"It's June 2nd, by the way. I don't think I've ever told anyone that. I don't even know why I told you. It's fine. You probably won't remember and even if you do, you aren't much of a gossip."

When the bulk of the debris is cleared away, he finally gets a good look at what's causing you to favor one arm. A gash curves around your shoulder blade and wraps around your torso, going all the way down to your pubic bone. It's deep and jagged, most likely from a dull kunai.

"I bet I'll get a few days off after this. Gai has been pestering me for a while now to try that new cold soba place. I think I'll go. He'll probably ask you to go, which would be nice, especially if Kurenai and Asuma come."

He hands you a soapy washcloth and watches as you diligently clean your hands. It's interesting, the way you scrub under your fingernails and between your fingers. It's probably muscle memory from years of trying to get the image of blood off your hands. He thinks, for only a moment, that maybe you aren't so different from him, you just put up a different front.

"I can't wait to have a nice meal. I'm so fucking sick of the MREs. It's a dumb thing to care about, but I think it's the smaller stuff that matters in this line of work."

He dries your hair before handing you the towel, leaving you to finish it off so he can grab you some clothes, changing his own while he's in there. Just sweats and a tee, and a pair of briefs if you'll take them. He hands you the bottoms first, withholding the top until he can get a better look at the wound.

"We were gone an extra week. My neighbor's gonna lecture me for sure this time. She always worries that I won't come back."

He thought for a moment, debating on whether or not he should outsource your injury. Honestly, even with immediate medical ninjutsu, this severe of an injury, not to mention how old it seems to be, is sure to leave a pretty nasty scar. Jostling you around to get across the village to the hospital may do more harm than good at this point in time.

"She's got three kids. All super loud, but they're really sweet. They think I'm the coolest person in the world, always saying they wanna be like me when they grow up. God, I hope they realize they should want more."

He grabs the first aid kit from the closet in the restroom and pulls up a chair next to his bed. He pushes you face down onto the mattress, your words becoming slightly muffled by his pillow. He's only ever stitched himself, and even then it was just a few here and there, not a hundred.

Your skin is soft compared to his rough hands. You seem like the kind of person to take care of yourself whenever possible, so he supposes it's not too surprising. He almost feels bad, being an accomplice to the desecration of your otherwise flawless body, but there's nothing to be done. All he can do is try and be as precise and delicate as possible and hope the wound heals nicely.

"Kumo is really nice this time of year. They don't have a lot of greenery but their flowers bloom around this time, just before the first snow falls- AH!"

It was like someone woke you up with a bucket of ice water to the face. You flinch hard when he sticks the needle through your skin. The area is tender, obviously, and the not-so-gentle tug of your flesh is enough to knock you out of your shock.

"Ah, there she is."

In the onslaught of your panic, you don't register, well, anything. You start to get up and the fact that you're half naked on his bed goes over your head. Before you can even prop yourself up onto your elbows, he's pushing your body down, large hands taking up the majority of your uninjured back.

"Relax. You're gonna fuck up the clotting if you keep squirming like that."

You lower yourself, but can't seem to loosen up at all. The blood loss and adrenaline crash are making your head spin. You feel sick and disoriented, and can't seem to to get a grip.

"Seriously, relax. Can't do what I need to if you keep freaking out."

You try to focus on his hands. They're rough from years of training, calloused, and strong as any other man would be, but the way he rubs his thumb back and forth over your spine is soft and doting. Years of unfamiliarity and pushback have left you hardly knowing him at all, but even you can tell this is his way of saying he's calm, and you should be too. Kakashi is a reasonable man, and it's safe to lower your guard around him.

When your breathing evens, he continues with the sutures as if it were nothing, emitting the same energy someone would put towards sudoku. Without the cushion of shock and adrenaline, you can feel how serious the wound really is. You push the unsettling feeling of the cool air against your exposed muscle to the back of your brain, preferring to instead lean into the warmth of his comforter. It has a more natural, woodsy, type of scent, similar to the shampoo he'd washed your hair with.

Kakashi is completely immersed in his work. He still has a ways to go, but he's rather pleased with his progress. Even spacing and perfectly taught, Rin would surely be proud.

"You're different."

He's caught off guard when you speak. If he's being honest, he assumed you'd somehow managed to fall asleep.

"Retirement has mellowed me out."

You don't respond and he doesn't bother to continue the conversation. The silence is comfortable. You hadn't talked to him in over a year, and even before that you were never on friendly terms, but the warmth in the air would lead an outsider to believe you were close.

It isn't long before he's offering you a hand and guiding you into a sitting position. He tugs a black shirt over your head and you pull your arms through, wincing at the stretch of your stitches. Your eyes go to the smear of red on your stomach, and subsequently the bedding. You absentmindedly thumb over the stain on his dark blue duvet cover.

"Don't worry about it. Just lie back down so I can finish the front."

You're too tired to argue with him, so you comply. He's leaning over you now that the injured side isn't directly facing him. His arms are warm against your skin and you have a better view of his face. Of course, he's still wearing that stupid mask, but you can easily make out the contours of his nose and lips. He's entirely focused, eyebrows pulled together and eyes fixed in front of him.

You hiss when he gets to the indent of your hip, knicking the bone. Your hand reaches to stop his, carelessly ignoring the fact that there's a needle sticking out of your skin. He looks up at you- your eyes are squeezed shut and your breathing is heavy.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"'s fine. Just need a second."

He sets the needle driver down and splays his now free hand against your midriff. He's concerned for your comfort, a quality he wasn't aware he had, but that he apparently holds for you. He isn't even sure what he's doing with all of these subtle touches and acts of affection. Yesterday, you were just an annoying girl from his past, not too unlike Gai, and now he's finding himself losing his aloofness in favor of a more intimate moment.

Your hand eventually slides down his, gripping the juncture between his thumb and forefinger, a subtle sign that you're ready, before you fold your arms above your head.

He squeezes your side and resumes his previous position. He's more careful this time, not that he wasn't before. He's done within ten minutes, finishing it off with some dressings and tugging down your his shirt. He tugs the blanket out from under you and goes to grab the spare. It's a quick swap, the dirty one getting tossed in the general vicinity of his washer and the clean one is lazily thrown over you.

He starts to say something, but shuts his mouth when he notices you sleeping. You finally look peaceful. Your lips are chapped, your hair's a mess, and you're paler than usual, but peaceful nonetheless.

He sways his head side to side to side as he contemplates his next move. He could certainly just wait it out and situate himself on the couch with a book until you woke up. Or, he could do what Kurenai would call 'the chivalrous thing to do' and continue to care for you.

With a sigh, he summons Pakkun, who appears in a puff of smoke.

"You think you can keep an eye on her while I take care of some business?"

"You got it boss."

- - - - -

Your eyes felt heavy. It took more willpower than you'd care to admit to force them open, and even more to lift your hands to rub the sleep away. The soreness that spread across your shoulder and hip quickly reminded you where you were and what had happened.

You sat up and swung your feet over the side of Kakashi’s bed, planting them on the floor and setting your face in your hands. You hear footsteps, but don't bother to look up. Your head is swimming, your stomach is in knots, and your body is fighting to not collapse.

"Dinner is almost ready if you're up to it."

"I have to give my report before I can even think of anything else-"

"No need. It's already been handled."

You lift your head to give him a confused look, and that's when you see it. He's a bit uneasy, shuffling awkwardly until he's leaning against the door frame. He won't meet your gaze and you can see his Adam's apple bob up and down.

"Handled?"

"I informed Lord Third of your return. He said not to bother with your full report until tomorrow morning at the earliest."

You turned your gaze back to the floor and sighed in relief, but the feeling didn't last as you began a rather fast paced descent into madness. You mulled over all the events of the day and couldn't help but think of all the things you should've done differently. You should've taken first watch. You should've forced an opening to send someone, or even a summoning, to get back up. You should've said no when the others wanted to camp for the night and insisted on moving forward.

But you didn't, and now the people you spent nearly every day of the past three years with paid the price, slaughtered in the blink of an eye.

While you had never been one to grow unnecessarily fond of your teammates in the past, you couldn't deny the personal affection you'd acquired for your team over the years. It was stupid to get so attached to people who signed up for a job that damn near guarantees death, but you couldn't help it. Not when Sato was convinced that the person responsible for his meal rations had it out for him by giving him all the worst options. Not when Kaito was complaining about another failed date that he definitely ruined by being, well, himself. Not when Yue always made the time to nicely braid your hair after an impromptu bath in the lake.

Especially not when they all went out of their way to ensure you that you were valued and loved.

Kakashi can't see your face, but he doesn't need to. The slight tremble of your frame and the shakiness of your breath tell him all he needs to know. Despite how uncharacteristically nice and patient he's been today, he's still not used to actually caring for people outside of just making sure they don't die. So he does the only thing he can think of and sets his heavy, uncoordinated dog paw of a hand on your head and ruffles your hair, much like he'd do for his ninken.

"Relax."

You can't help but snicker at the action. It's awkward, so much so that you can feel it radiating through his skin. Unlike him, though, you are very well versed in this area. You rub your hands down your face, drying any tears that may have fallen, and pull him closer, wrapping your arms around his waist and laying your head on his firm stomach. He tenses but doesn't make any effort to move. Eventually, you feel his rigid hold on your head loosen, his fingers grazing across your scalp and then running through your hair.

"You suck at comforting people, you know?"

"It worked in the end, didn't it?"

You can't argue with him, not after he had so easily shut down your rapid spiral. Instead, you choose to focus on the moment and can't help but notice how intimate it feels. You're no stranger to physical affection, oftentimes using it to get out of difficult or uncomfortable questions, but never before has it felt like this. It could be that you're wearing his clothes and smell like his soap, or maybe it's the way one of his hands is cupped around the back of your head and pressing you further into his abdomen, but this feeling is definitely different from anything you've experienced up until this point.

Unbeknownst to you, Kakashi is having similar thoughts. His mind is going a thousand miles a minute, trying to push away his avoidant instincts. This past year has given him the opportunity to rewire his brain to be less... guarded, and he's hardly done anything with the newfound sense of freedom. Sure, he's managed to salvage his friendships, but even that much was due to other people's persistence, and not his own doing.

Maybe, just maybe, there's something specific about you. This entire experience has been ridiculously natural. You look like you belong in his apartment, in his clothes. Talking to you doesn't feel forced and there's not that weight he usually associates with social interaction. It's almost like you belong-

"Kakashi?"

Your voice snaps him out of his thoughts. He shifts his gaze down to see you peering up at him. He gives a slight hum to acknowledge you.

"Weren't you cooking?"

Cursing himself under his breath, he pulls back, his hands sliding out of your hair and along the underside of your jaw. He quickly makes his way back into the kitchen, shutting off the stove and removing the pan from the burner. You follow after him and sit at his table. It's funny, really, the way he haphazardly moves around the kitchen like he's never touched a pan before. You shouldn't laugh at him, not after he's been so good to you, and especially because you probably wouldn't fare much better.

He set a plate in front of you and your face instantly lights up. You clap your hands together and thank him profusely for the food. It's quiet for a while. You're enjoying your first real meal in weeks and he's giving you the space to do so.

It's hard to ignore the looks he keeps sending your way. You avoid looking directly at him to preserve the bits of his face that his cupped hand doesn't cover, but you can still feel the holes burning into your skull. You know what he wants, and to be honest, you're surprised. It seems Kurenai was right with that off-handed comment a few months ago- Kakashi had become rather nosey in recent times. Or, maybe, he's always been keen to information, but due to his particular place in the ranks, he's never had to ask for it before.

Growing more uncomfortable under his gaze and sensing he won't be the one to break the ice, you take the initiative.

"Why'd you let me in?"

"I'm trying to be more receptive to people's efforts at friendship."

You nod. You were once on the receiving end of his less-than-amicable approach, and you were glad he was actually allowing people in after everything that happened in his youth.

"Why come here?"

You sigh, nervously running your hands up and down your thighs. Honestly, you hadn't been very present-minded when you knocked on his door last night. The journey back to the village was hard to recall. Even the few hours you spent awake with Kakashi earlier were blurry.

Every other time you've needed someone in the past, you've turned to Kurenai. It was easy to unwind around her. You didn't have to think about anything, just letting her force feed you snacks from a variety of vendors and drag you around to different shops.

That's not always enough, though, and even if you pretend it is, there's always a part of you that seeks out something more. Apparently, last night you had sought out that something.

"Sometimes... it's nice to be around people who understand,"

Kakashi nods. He's been on the receiving end of said behavior, and he knows exactly how exhausting it can be.

"Don't get me wrong, Kurenai and Gai are great, but... they ask so many questions. There's a big difference between regular Shinobi work and ANBU, especially with what I do, and it's just, I don't know. I just don't usually want to talk about the details."

"I get it."

Even though Kakashi is obviously curious, he doesn't pry. He really does get it. Constantly being asked if you're okay, if you wanna talk about it, being offered a shoulder to cry on- it's kind, but it gets old after a while. Especially when you're just trying to spend the limited free time you have as a person and not just an off duty shinobi.

"Can I ask you personal questions? Or are you gonna get all angsty on me?"

"Angsty? I'm not angsty,"

One pointed look from you is all it takes for him to cave.

"Yeah, yeah, just ask your damn questions."

"How's retirement?"

It's kind of complicated. He should be training genin right now, but he sank that ship before it even left the dock. Poor kids didn't even make it a day before they were right back in the academy. Or wait, could you mean personally? That's probably at least a little complicated, too. There's been a lot of change for him this past year, but that doesn't really mean much compared to others when you're practically crawling at the ripe age of twenty-four.

"I'm only asking how you've been doing, Kakashi, there's no need to fret."

He must've taken too long to answer. That's why you're filling in the blanks for him. He should feel embarrassed, but he doesn't. Your teasing tone is enough to subdue any negative connotations your interruption may have offered. Honestly, he's more so just confused as to how you knew exactly what he was thinking.

"... I have a lot of free time."

Man, you really do have to walk him through everything, huh?

"Is that a good thing?"

He shrugs and mulls over it for a moment.

"I'm used to being busy. It's just difficult to get used to. I imagine you'll have an even harder time adjusting once you retire."

"Why's that?"

"You've spent nearly your entire life in ANBU. The cool down from that is gonna be hard after it's been ingrained so deeply."

He's right about that. You'd joined at just seven years old, hadn't even been a genin a year.

"Do personal questions go both ways?"

"I don't see why not."

"Why'd they recruit you so early?"

Damn, he really went right for it. You swallowed hard. Your fingers drummed lightly on the pair of pants he'd lent you.

"It was the only way Lord Third could keep me out of root."

Oh God. Root. Kakashi knew all about Danzo and his followers, courtesy of Tenzo, of course. That place was disgusting and cruel. It was a wonder why it hadn't been shut down already.

"I'm not very smart, so I didn't stick out in the academy, but once I got onto the field and found my calling... let's just say Danzo had taken an interest in me."

Oh, Kakashi knows exactly what you're talking about. It's true. You couldn't do a henge or substitution jutsu to save you're life, but you made up for it tenfold. It's only fitting that the person dubbed 'Calamity' in bingo books be a force of nature, right? You had an abundance of chakra and raw strength that only Tsunade could parallel. All the jutsu you knew were hard hitters- mudslides, tornadoes, tsunamis- anything massive that didn't require a lot of concentration, you could pull off.

"It's fine, though. My fighting style isn't exactly useful on standard missions. Too much collateral damage."

You manage a laugh. It's a little awkward, but genuine nonetheless. Most people get a bit stiff when talking about your unorthodox recruitment, but you don't hold the same sentiment. You'd lucked out with an amazing team right off the bat. They were all men in their late teens and early twenties, eager to take you in as their little sister and raise you into a fine shinobi.

"Why’d you get recruited?"

"Me? Minato-sensei had some personal tasks for me."

"Oh yeah? Is that your mysterious way of saying you were solely recruited for baby duty?"

Now that had taken him aback.

"How did you-"

You, apparently, knew the couple very well. How that fact got past Kakashi all this time is beyond him. You told him about the first time you met Kushina- how she cried because the chest plate on your uniform was too big for little seven-year-old you. You told him about how Minato tried desperately to free you from ANBU during his reign, but couldn't find any loopholes that'd keep you away from Danzo. How they'd sometimes run into you on the street and offer to take you to dinner.

Kakashi shared his own stories of his sensei and his wife, which, in extension, got him to talk about Rin and Obito. Before either of you knew it, it'd been several hours. The last rays of sunshine had disappeared in the midst of your discussion some time ago. The pain of your injuries had dulled and were pushed to the back of your mind, buried in the new found connection.

He hadn't felt that stress-free in decades. There was no pressure when he was talking to you, even when it came to the people he lost. You were just... talking. No prying, no judging, no eggshells- just talking.

It was easy to admit that Kakashi was different from the others. The conversation had revived memories you hadn't even realized existed. This is what was lacking in all of your other encounters- depth. Screw mission details and gossip. These were the kinds of things you wanted to spend your time mulling over.

"Kakashi?"

"Hm?

You smiled at him and he swears his heart might be failing him. It's so soft and genuine, the kind of smile that soul mates share with one another.

"Thank you... for everything."

He doesn't respond. Actually, no more words are spoken between you two as you ready yourself to leave his apartment. There's a peaceful silence as you gather your belongings and head to the door.

When you're finally standing on his welcome mat, you decide that it's now or never with him. Maybe you're being a bit bold, but the Copy Nin is exclusively difficult to connect with and you aren't about to take any chances.

"When Gai inevitably invited you out to dinner-"

"I'll go."

That was surprisingly easy.

Another one of those beautiful smiles lights up your face at his response. He knows that whatever is going to come of this is sure to be troublesome, but he can't find it in himself to care.

"Good."

And just like that you're walking away.

#kakashi x reader #kakashi fluff #kakashi sensei #hatake kakashi #kakashi hatake #kakashi #naruto #naruto shippuden #naruto fluff

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