#It's a bit of a difficult period in my life right now

[oya-oya-okay]

I'm sorry that I rarely color manga. Recently, I have lost the desire to "Wow, I really want to color this!" (╥_╥)

I hope I can color something in the future

Tysm!!!💗💗💗

[simplyreveries]

I ADORE YOUR WRITING!!

what about a reader who’s unknowingly flirting with the twst wonderland cast (specifically savanclaw, octanaville and diasomnia) because of culture differences and species differences?

e.g petting their ears, giving them gifts, smiling with teeth (bc for moray eels that’s how they mate 👀)

OR fem reader who has her period and some of the twst students can smell it I LITERALLY HAD A NIGHTMARE ABOUT THIS 😭😭😭😭

OMLL I APPRECIATE ITTT!!! sorry for the wait!!! i chose some from each dorm bc of my character limit btw!!

azul ashengrotto

despite how much azul continues to do his best to learn about life on land… relationships are certainly difficult for him to understand sometimes considering how long he has spent his life in the sea and though there are many similarities between merpeople… there are still some differences. once azul is rather close to you he does become unintentionally— clingy with you. (when you two officially get together that's another story) but he has a habit of wanting to lean close to you or have a hand on you in some way, like on the small of your back when showing you something in the mostro lounge.

so needless to say, he is in love with any sort of touch from you he takes that as some sort of hope and sign that you reciprocate how he feels haha. jade and floyd tease him ALL the time about it especially when he was struggling to keep his cool-headed composure after you once gave him a hug after he did something to help you once.

like I've said azul really doesn't think about it or even try to be this way around you he just does aljdfajdkhf. he’ll feel like a smitten fool as he sits in the vip lounge as he's doing papers and just think about how you playfully linked your arm around his to bring him somewhere. small things like that are actually quite big to him when it comes down to the differences.

jade leech

he's aware you probably don't know that you're unknowingly flirting with him, but he finds it amusing and plays along with you, nevertheless. he thinks it's cute that you don't know and all the more enticing, you’ll find him chuckling, trying to hide his grin with his gloved hand “oh my, I didn't know you liked me that much fufu” he’d say. you can't help but feel confused as to what he finds so interesting… like you literally just yawned.

it'll take him a while to actually tell you what it means since he finds the obliviousness to be quite cute. you only put two and two together when he tells floyd about what you did right in front of him and the two laugh about it. now you've got floyd teasing u about it..

like azul he is a little more affectionate just in a different more. in a less obvious fashion, though there definitely have been a few occasions where he likes to bring your hand to his lips and see your reaction, he finds it so amusing. he always has his teethy grin plastered on his face.

leona kingscholar

he hates the way he can always tell when you're wearing cologne or perfume and he hates that he likes it as well, he may or may not be a bit addicted to your scent. he literally can tell if you're near just because he knows the damn fragrance you use.

if you two are particuarly close... like him falling asleep around you and such. if you happen to pet his head and his ears, he immediately shoots you this look then mumbles something before being too tired to do anything about it or give you some retort. he just lets it happen... he does enjoy it anyway. slowly he kinda doesnt realize how clingy he can get with you because of it. he becomes a little needy and wanting more attention from you. he cant help it.... i mean you basically just showed him that you're fine with it anyways.

leona seems to be someone who can get pretty possessive, unintentionally too over you. kind of territorial, like if you're someone he has eyes for then he doesn't expect others to really get in the way of that.

malleus draonica

malleus is not only a fae but a pretty sheltered one too, I’d think he’d take almost anything from you as a sign of you being completely infatuated with him as he is with you. you could offer split your ice cream or invite him out somewhere, show any sort of interest in him as he talks about gargoyles as he’s doing single club activities. the one time you asked curiously and wanted to touch his horns, he’d be searching for the loveliest jewel to bestow you for your wedding day.

speaking of jewels… he gifts to you a lot especially after you give him anything first (it could be a cool rock you found) and he’d be so smitten and glad to reciprocate that by giving you earrings, rings, necklaces etc. and when you accept them even though you're not exactly fully understanding why he takes it even more as a sign of you accepting his advances.

after taking any of your little acts of being somewhat kind to him and he’s already so deeply into you, lilia would certainly be someone who hears just all about it. i think he would only feel happy for malleus, as it appears he must’ve found the right one. he is just supportive of malleus and is simply overjoyed to know he has some little human that makes him so happy.

lilia vanrouge

he has lived long enough and in different places to understands human courting's and more so than someone like malleus. he knows how different it is, trust me he is fully aware, but he thinks it's amusing. lilia pretends to take it the wrong way and watch you get all confused, when he's just being playful.

just cant help that he finds it so adorable when you unknowingly show him affections as a fae would in his culture. even just being slightly affectionate with him is enough to have him giggling and warning you to be careful to what fae you do that to. they do tend to take very kindly towards any affections and gifts!

lilia will straight up tell you though too, you could gift him and give him something neat you found or made, and he'd look up at you with a stupid grin like "kfufu... i accept your love, dear" NO???. he still holds onto anything from you with the utmost joy.

[ahundredtimesover]

I Want You to Stay (07) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; eventual explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)

Chapter Word count: 15.4k

Series Masterlist

Status: Ongoing

Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.

Playlist 🎶: on the way home

A/N: One of my fave chapters! I hope you like this one! And just a heads up that intervals between posting days will be longer as the chapters get longer, too. And bc u know, life... HAHA but again, thank you so much for all the love for this like??? HOW. PLS you've all been so nice so thank you! 🥰 Also… JK in that SNTY suit.

And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight  🥰

PS. If I can’t tag you, pls fix your settings!

Mr. Ri loads the luggages in the trunk and you double check that all bags - which you helped pack yesterday - are complete. You enter the car right after and head to the airport where Jungkook will fly to Singapore for a few meetings and to attend Seokjin’s alcohol launch party. 

It’s been over a month since the Arts Center event and so much has happened since then. Jungkook went to Jeju to meet an artist and then to Japan over a weekend to meet another two. He’s been on calls with a few more with plans to meet in their country of residence in the next months, and he’s gone around different local towns to meet with craftspeople for souvenirs and future exhibitions. He’s also touched base with various national and international Korean arts and culture organizations for promotion and joint projects. The event opened doors for a new network that he hoped for. There are now proposals for other collaborations and side engagements that’s doing a lot for the company’s brand and expansion. 

To say that Jungkook and the team have been busy is an understatement. You went back to work after those few days of recovering with everyone overwhelmed by all the things they had to do but like you expected, you all managed and got things organized. There are still multiple things to handle all at once, but everyone’s just been on top of everything and showing how competent you all are as individuals and as a team.

Within that period, Jungkook has stopped by the team’s office and the pantry more times than those first months. He also managed to laugh at Do-hyun’s unfiltered remarks a few times and even slipped his own that got the team giggling. He’s seemed a lot more relaxed and so has the team. Lunch meetings have been regular given all the work you all have to do. Yohan and Chin-sun even say that they’ve gotten to know Jungkook a little better through their visits to the Arts Center. And while they do think he’s still a bit detached and catch him in his own world sometimes, he’s a lot more engaged and is actually way smarter than they’d initially thought. 

Jungkook checks his phone and sighs, prompting you to turn to him.

“Seokjin says the party is an intimate event but there’s gonna be over two-fifty guests so I don’t know about that,” he shakes his head, showing you the restaurant bar where his friend will be launching his alcohol brand. “For some reason, he expects me and Tae to entertain guests on his behalf.”

This was another development you hadn’t expected. Since that morning when Jungkook sent you food when you were unwell, your relationship changed. It’s still professional but there’s more openness now, as if that prompted both of you to be comfortable around each other. 

There’s more trust and honesty, too - he lets you make decisions, lets you handle the team when he’s away, and asks you for your unfiltered opinion. You feel like all the time you spend together has allowed you to learn how he sees and understands things; you even finish his sentences sometimes. 

He’s also loosened up a bit and allows himself to laugh and smile more. They’re still rare occurrences but you never point them out, not wanting him to feel awkward and then stop. They often catch you off guard so you haven’t been able to fully appreciate them but at least he feels comfortable around you, enough to even talk about non-work stuff and things that fill his mind, like random questions or small concerns. 

You’re unsure if he notices how uninhibited he’s become but you don’t point it out either. He still has his moments of living in his head, his faraway thoughts rendering him quiet and observant, and his perfectionist attitude means he’s still critical sometimes. But he doesn’t take anything out on you - not his frustrations nor his fears. He’d usually keep to himself and talk to you once he’s cooled down and you’d take that any day, so long as you keep your sanity and are able to do your tasks as instructed.

In return, you let yourself be the same. You’ve fully restored your confidence and that’s allowed you to show just how capable you are. You’ve been more vocal with your thoughts, too, and don’t take it personally when he doesn’t agree. You smile a lot more, joke with him even, and have been more generous with words of encouragement and affirmation. They come more naturally than you expected, and you appreciate that he doesn’t turn you away whenever it happens.

He’s actually okay to be around when he’s not being grumpy or difficult. You suppose that the situations he was put in - and how you responded with patience and understanding - allowed him to see that you’re truly on his side and that let him put his guard down a little. You’re past trying to please him for the sake of making your job bearable; there’s actual joy in it now, and while the search for who you are outside of all this continues to ring in your head, you think that sticking around for now isn’t so bad either.

“Perhaps Seokjin has seen how good you are with entertaining guests now and deems you worthy of being an extension of him,” you respond to Jungkook’s earlier musings. “And he wouldn’t be wrong. You’ve become really good at it.”

“You know, I think you oversell me sometimes,” he chuckles. 

“Hmm, I think I don’t,” you counter. “If I may say so, Mr. Jeon, it's just that the bar was pretty low so the improvements are quite striking.”

“Fair enough,” he laughs, not taking offense.

“You can still do better at charming people. Maybe you can learn a thing or two from Seokjin and Taehyung,” you push.

“Those two flirt, they don’t charm,” he playfully rolls his eyes.

“Well, I completely disagree, sir. I mean, I’ve seen it firsthand. And I’m not one who’s easily charmed.”

“Fine, I’ll see what I can pick from them, then,” he concedes.

“Kidding aside, I think you’ll be fine, Mr. Jeon. Plus, it’s unrelated to work so there’s no need to impress anyone,” you state. 

“True,” he hums. “But just thinking about these next few days is already making me tired. Tae rented a yacht for tonight. We have Seokjin’s launch tomorrow, and to celebrate, he’s throwing another party the day after.”

“Hmm, must be that you’re getting old,” you tease, earning you a hum in agreement. “But you’re used to that though, right? They always said that was your life back in Singapore.”

“It was. I had less responsibilities and people to manage but back then, everything seemed too much,” he shares. “I took the weekends seriously and really just did whatever I wanted. I haven’t done much of that these past weeks because I’ve been so tired and I feel like I’m under the microscope when I’m here. So yeah, I’ll probably just take advantage of being back there and just enjoy it.”

“As you should,” you say. “You’ve worked hard and you deserve to spend your weekend however you wish. Just, uh…”

“What?”

“Probably give Lucas a heads-up in case a half-naked woman greets him in the kitchen on Monday morning.”

The silence is deafening and you think you’ve crossed a line with this one. You turn towards him and he looks stunned at your unfiltered remark.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Jeon,” you bow in apology. “That was too personal.”

“It’s okay,” he responds after a beat of silence. “I guess I deserve that. I mean, I never apologized for the morning when you experienced exactly that. And for when you found that underwear on the floor, which I forgot to clean up. So, uh. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, too. I got over it,” you assure him. “And if anything, I’m pretty sure she left that on purpose so she’ll have a reason to come back.”

“That’s exactly it,” he groans. “She saw me again and wanted to go to my apartment so she could get it. I told her I threw it away.”

“How brutal,” you tease again.

“Not my finest moment but yeah, I’m sorry to put you in that position. Must’ve been tough seeing proof of all the washroom gossip.”

“You know about those?” You gasp. 

“I’ve heard about them,” he sighs. “Mr. Ri’s got eyes and ears in the office.”

“It’s hard to defend so I just don’t try,” the older man shakes his head. “Not like you deny it anyway.”

“Not like I really care,” Jungkook shrugs. “But even then, I guess it wasn’t the best start for us,” he tells you.

“Perhaps not, but I’m not one to judge, Mr. Jeon. That’s all in the past now, and that feels like a lifetime ago.”

“It does,” he hums. 

It’s during these casual exchanges when you get to see a bit more of Jungkook as the person that he is, beyond the perfectionist executive who still harbors fears and worries about his new role. He’s still a human being who finds ways to deal with the stresses of life, someone who needs time to step away from his burdensome responsibilities, someone who seeks intimacy and connection and finds ways to attain them in his own ways. The doubts and worries are still there, but the foundation has stabled a bit. Somehow you think that you’ve created a space safe enough for him to talk about them, to apologize, and to try to be better. You hope he gets to create that for himself, too, and if that’s what you’ll leave him with by the time you decide to step away from this job, you think you’d be satisfied. 

Silence engulfs you both and like he often is after being vulnerable with you, he keeps to himself once again. You wait a while before running through his meetings for today and next week and inform him of what the team will be working on while he’s away. Jungkook responds with a few last-minute instructions, especially about the tasks he needs done in time for your team meeting on Monday. You’re both back to professional talk and you don’t really mind; there’s something about being honest and open that could be a bit disarming.

The car stops and Mr. Ri exits to retrieve the luggage from the trunk. Jungkook, in his navy blue suit, gathers his things and says goodbye. Before he can close the door, you call out his name.

“Yeah?” He asks, his one hand carrying his bag and the other, on the roof of the car as he bends to look at you.

“Happy birthday,” you say. “I know you think it’s just an ordinary day but I hope you celebrate well.”

“Thank you,” he says after a few seconds, basking in the softness of your smile for the short moment that he can.

Jungkook steps away then closes the door. He heads to the airport lounge before taking the 6-hour flight to Singapore, spending it on reviewing reports and design proposals. He goes straight to the office when he lands, settling down in his room where he responds to emails. He munches on some dumplings for lunch, thinking he’s missed the ones from the restaurant across the street, but then Lucas enters and sets down a bowl of seaweed soup.

“Ms. Cho asked me to get this for you, Mr. Jeon.”

Jungkook is caught off guard but manages to dismiss Lucas and tastes the dish. It’s nothing like his mother’s, but then again, he hasn’t had it in years. When Jungkook moved here, there were no celebrations apart from getting drunk at a club, which is also why he’d stopped thinking of his birthday as anything special. There were no traditional meals or well wishes or birthday cakes.

He’s here again. There’s that yacht party tonight but it won’t feel like a celebration. Somehow, with this bowl of soup, this does. You’re a thousand miles away but even then, he still feels your presence. Even then, he feels more cared for than he has these past several years combined.

Jungkook wakes up the next morning with a splitting headache. His neck feels a bit strained, given that he’d slept in an awkward position wearing his clothes from last night. He also barely remembers much. One minute he was drinking with a woman around his arm and the next he’s… here. 

He shifts and lays flat on his back, groaning as last night’s happenings manifest in the soreness of his entire body. The yacht was fancy, as he’d expected from his best friends. There was overflowing food and drinks, the music was great, and the guests were honestly too many for his liking. There were familiar faces and new ones, but he mostly stuck around with those he knew. What he also remembers is not being able to taste his cake. He’s definitely calling Seokjin to complain.

Suddenly hit with the thought of not knowing how he’d gotten home last night - or with whom - Jungkook sits up and groans once more, the incoming call adding to the ringing sound in his head.

“Mr. Jeon,” Lucas answers on the other end. “How are you feeling today?”

“Terrible,” Jungkook says, now finding the strength to get off the bed. “Did you take me home?”

“Yes, sir. You wanted to leave so Mr. Ri and I took you to your penthouse,” Lucas answers. “Your valuables are on the table.”

Jungkook sighs, knowing it was one of those nights. Removing his clothes, he sees the fresh marks on his chest. Wanting to prepare himself before finding some stranger in the other room, he asks his assistant if he’d brought someone home with him.

“No, sir. It was just you. She, uh, she asked to come but you told her you were too tired so she stayed behind.”

“Oh, good,” Jungkook exhales in relief, not wanting to deal with any of that this morning, which is one reason why he always asks them to leave. “How long do I have until I have to get ready for tonight?”

“About five hours,” the younger man replies. “You have a scheduled dinner with your friends at 5:30 and then the event at 8. I’ll be there before that to help you get ready.”

“Alright, thanks. I’ll just workout to deal with this hangover.”

“Medicines are in the cupboard, sir. Please just let me know if there’s anything more you need.”

“I will.”

Jungkook hangs up and presses on his temples as if that’ll do anything. He retrieves the medicine as advised and thinks of something else he needs - a cup of lemon ginger tea. Ever since you’d prepared one for him that one morning, he’s been having it after every night out. He calls the butler to have it prepared for him, given that he doesn’t have the energy to do so himself. 

It arrives, and coupled with the aspirin, he’s starting to somehow feel better. He knows that heading to the gym will do the trick, as it always does, but it still makes him think that he shouldn’t have drank as much as he did last night. 

For someone who’s not particularly fond of people, even Jungkook sometimes wonders why he goes out and parties as much as he does. 

He wasn’t always like this though. His weekends used to be spent on food trips and travels, but after the breakup with Chaerin, those days became free, and he’d stay out late so he could sleep the rest of the next day. The women were to make up for the loneliness; the alcohol was to forget why he needed them in the first place. He hates loud and unnecessary sounds, but the music and the chatter started to become white noise for him; they’d become a companion to help deal with the noise in his own head, or the lack of it. 

Years later, the remaining thoughts in his mind were just all about work, and he’d revert to the same habit for relief - the women became his thrill; the alcohol was so he wouldn’t remember them. 

And it works. The ecstasy lasts only through the night. It’s fleeting as his desire for them is. He doesn’t recall names, just that they made him feel good and that they felt the same; they often try to hook up with him again after all, seeking him in the clubs they know he frequents. But he rarely entertains them; a second time leads to a third, and he can’t be assured that they won’t ask the same tiring questions he hates hearing - why doesn’t he have a girlfriend? Why doesn’t he want to commit to anyone? Does he see himself settling down and having a family? What’ll make him want that?

It’s happened a few times, during the rare instances that there’s a lull in between and they take advantage of his brief period of vulnerability to make him open up. He never does, and it’s not because he thinks it’s a weakness to do so, but he just never really let the moment linger to find out. 

After a light meal, Jungkook heads to the gym and spends three hours expending his energy so he could get it back. 

This is his other means of dealing with his stress. Working out makes him focus on something else and it helps in releasing all his anger and frustration. As he stares at his bare body in the mirror right after - the marks from last night still visible - he scoffs at himself. 

He’s so stereotypical, it makes him sick. He’s allowed himself to let his life revolve around the shallow and fleeting sensations of pleasure to counter the permanence and inevitability of his job. This is his world and he made it this way. And while he drowns in the nothingness inside the walls that he created, he still thinks it’s better than being outside; somehow he thinks it’s lonelier and more burdensome out there. At least in here, he’s all he has to deal with; he’s all he can disappoint.

But there are still moments when he wonders what it could be like if he just dared to live differently. Like when he watches Seokjin animatedly explain the history and creation process of Korean traditional alcohol during the product launch that evening and how his passion is moving and infectious. Or when he observes how Taehyung freely moves around the club and makes connections with others as deep as his smile. 

Jungkook thinks about all this as he glances at the woman next to him later that night, bare under the covers like he is, her body curled into a cocoon as she takes a break. 

She’d caught his eye earlier because she wasn’t trying to get his attention like the others were. She spoke less and screamed more, let him do what he wanted but touched him softly as she pleased.

“You’re a good lover. Why do you waste yourself with something temporary like me?” She’d asked. 

It left him speechless and he shrugged - a change from his usual dismissal - but there’s really nothing to say. 

Why does he? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t want to. 

But it’s at this moment that he tries to imagine what it would be like if it were the same face he saw next to him every morning, if it were the same hand he held everyday, if it were the same warm body he curled into every night. His mind wanders too far, into the depths of a place it can’t go to, beyond boundaries he can’t cross, and the sight is both terrifying and calming. 

It’s safer where he is.

So when she wakes up from a short nap, she looks up at him, her soft eyes wishing for something she knows she shouldn’t.

“You should go,” he says, the softest he’s ever uttered the words. 

“Okay,” she whispers in submission. 

She gets up from the bed, finds her stray clothes on the floor, and puts them on. Jungkook follows her to the door, a first for him. Maybe it’s her gentleness, or the unspoken understanding between them, or maybe because she doesn’t ask for more even if she seems to want to. 

But though he contemplates pulling her back to try to feel what that’s like - seeing her in the morning, holding her hand, curling into her embrace - he doesn’t. He knows even that desire would end; it’s fleeting just as everything around him is.  

He holds open the door. She turns around with a smile.

“I hope someday you find someone you’ll ask to stay,” she says, surprising him again. “I’m sure they would.”

You walk around the store in awe of the luscious plants displayed on the shelves, your eyes as bright as the lights that shine over them. There are so many to choose from, and though you have an idea of what you want to have, it’s tough deciding which ones to get right now. The money tree is a must, so is the Chinese evergreen. But do you go for the orchid or the peace lily? Can you keep up with a spider plant? How many of the asparagus ferns should you get?

Your eyes flit from one plant to the next, eventually deciding on getting everything on your list then placing them on the cart for payment. 

Jimin chuckles next to you. “Since when were you a plant mom?”

“Since she got that aloe vera from Yoongi and she was convinced that she has a green thumb after it didn’t die,” Soomin deadpans next to you as you frown at her sarcasm. “That’s also after my weekly reminders to water the plant because ‘no care’ doesn’t actually mean it’s going to survive on its own.”

“Oh, shush,” you scoff at her. “You told me I was doing a good job.”

“You’d send a photo every few days, hun,” she laughs. “What else was I supposed to say?”

“True. I needed the encouragement,” you shrug, paying for your haul. “But also, I’m a plant newbie. Yoongi said that I probably need some of them at home and in the office for positive energy and he’s not wrong. All the frustration from months ago just accumulated in my apartment and I need a change.”

“So… Is Yoongi a plant dad, too?” Soomin wonders.

“No. He just knows about a lot of things,” you reply. “Plus, he’s an architect and a designer. He knows a thing or two about plant decor.”

“Why isn’t he here with you, then?” She arches an eyebrow.

“Because I’m with both of you, duh,” you roll your eyes. “And before you say anything more, I don’t really like mixing my work friends with my personal friends. It’s different.”

“Well, I’m glad we could join you on this new phase of your life,” Jimin tries to be encouraging. “It’s like turning over a new leaf.”

You scold him over his terrible pun but laugh anyway, enjoying the comfort and playfulness that only your best friends could bring. They picked you up from work last Friday then you all headed to a club after dinner. You spent yesterday at a beach at their insistence then stayed in during the evening. It’s now Sunday and you’re dragging them around as you run errands before saying goodbye to them again, and it’s not a normal day without Soomin mentioning Yoongi. Perhaps it’s because of all the guys you’ve mentioned that have taken interest in you, he’s the only true green flag; he’s also the only one you didn’t entertain at all. You suppose that’s something she’ll not really get over. 

The three of you head to a nearby cafe. Jimin excitedly talks about the latest menu item in their chain of restaurants while Soomin groans about the stuff she has to deal with as she manages her family-owned shipping company that’s the biggest in the port city of Busan. They turn to you and ask how the rest of your week is going to go, with slightly surprised looks when you don’t talk about work with as much disdain as you used to. There’s excitement, even, something that Soomin points out, and when you mention that Jungkook is on an overseas trip, she assumes that’s the reason why.

“Not really,” you clarify. “He arrives tomorrow evening, but the week’s packed - we’re visiting the Arts Center for inspection and then I’m doing an ocular with Chin-sun for the VP events we’re holding in the next few months. I mean, I won’t be buried in files nor will I be in meetings all week. So yeah, it’s not bad.”

“That’s good,” Jimin beams. “At least it’s nothing like how it used to be. Right?”

“It’s a lot better, I told you guys,” you say, reminding them of a similar talk you had the last time they were here, which was a week after you’d gotten sick. “Jungkook is… rational, less grumpy and impulsive; he also listens to me and trusts me. He’s even smiled a few times.”

“Wow, he really set the bar low for you, huh,” Jimin chuckles, earning him a nod.

“Does that also mean that he’s now completely bearable and no longer your type because he’s not an asshole anymore?” Soomin chimes in, being the blunt and bold one among the three of you.

“He never was my type in the first place,” you scowl. “Plus, he’s literally my boss, Soo. That’s like, not some flag, it’s a whole ass brick wall that shall not be crossed.”

“Right. That’s why Mr. Min didn’t make the cut,” she points out. “Told you you should’ve just quit your job so you could date him.”

“And I also told you that wasn’t the only reason why I didn’t want to,” you remind her. “Yoongi’s exactly the type of person I need in my life, and being more than friends is the surefire way of making sure that doesn’t happen. Like, why would I risk a good friendship for something that may not work out? Whether I break his heart or he breaks mine, it’s pain I can’t handle. There’s just no going back from there.”

“Right, that is your biggest fear,” Soomin replies softly, the sympathetic tone in her voice telling you that she does understand where you’re coming from. “I mean, it’s still possible that you wouldn’t hurt each other but I get it. It just sucks, I guess. The good ones often start as your friends.”

“I know. And I’d rather have them and be single than none at all,” you sigh. 

The thought is simpler than it seems. You won’t deny that you’ve thought of how things would’ve been if you gave Yoongi a chance, but the fear of what you’d lose always trumped that type of possibility. 

There’s a kind of pain you don’t want to experience, one of a broken heart caused by losing someone you’ve given your all to. It’s how you think you love, after all; you can’t give any less. But it’s also why you’ve never done it. No one’s inspired that kind of devotion for you. 

Soomin has pointed out before that it’s probably also because you don’t open yourself up to the possibilities as you should. Maybe you’ve just been too focused on other things. But maybe you also just haven’t felt the kind of all-consuming desire for someone who would be worth it, one you’d want so much that you’d willingly face the fear of paralyzing heartbreak just to be with them. 

You suppose that’s the difference. That’s the irony, too. You’re scared to love because you’re scared of the pain, so you keep your distance to keep yourself safe but it’s also why you haven’t found someone you’re willing to crawl out of your walls for.  

There’s not much you feel passionate about in life. Maybe it’s love. But you’re too cautious to feel it, to look for it, so you don’t really know. Maybe it’s something else completely, and working in the environment that you do hinders you from discovering it. You’ve kept your distance from a lot of things over the past years and the thought that one day, you’ll be able to feel free from all the burden you carry because of a past you couldn’t control, makes you look forward to the day when you get to walk away from all those and hopefully, find whatever it is you’re looking for. 

Jimin nudges you after you zone out, and you switch the subject and ask about the latest gossip in their hometown. You enjoy living vicariously through their social life back in Busan. They not only come out here to Seoul to see you but also to take a break from all the drama that they can’t really escape from, given the type of people in their circle of friends. You always thank the heavens you got lucky that at 10 years old and making a new life in a new city, you found Soomin and Jimin, perhaps the only other people aside from your mother who make you feel safe and protected, a feeling you don’t take for granted. 

They indulge you and share some stories, but when Soomin goes through her social media feed to show you something, she gasps instead when she realizes that the men in her friend’s Instagram post include Jungkook.

“Did your boss just go there to party?” She asks, showing you the photo.

“Partly,” you reply. “His best friend hosted the launch of his alcohol line there but there are a couple more parties because it’s his birthday weekend. Your friends went?”

“Yeah, some of them are Kim Seokjin’s friends, apparently,” Soomin says. “Small world. But then again, I shouldn’t be surprised. Seoul and Busan socialites attract each other.”

“Why aren’t you there, then?” You chuckle. 

“We’re choosy socialites,” Jimin clarifies. “Or like, pretentious. We just act like we are but we really aren’t, just to say that the Park and Cheon kids are interesting and sociable like the rest of them.”

“Who says they’re interesting and sociable?” Soomin states incredulously. “My eyes roll to the back of my head every time I’m in those shitty events. The lack of self-awareness of rich people repulses me. And I obviously don’t count us in.”

“And you shouldn’t,” you confirm. “I attract good people, I guess. I’m glad you’re not like them.”

“Well, what about Jungkook’s friends?” Jimin asks. “How are they like?”

“What I can say about the Kim brothers is that they’re nice people,” you say. “Very charming, ridiculously good-looking... And they sound like good friends, too. I can’t say much else. Their dating game is pretty strong though.”

“I’d assume. I mean, when you look like that, how could you not be?” Soomin states. “I mean, even Jungkook’s on point. That’s some hot girl he’s got.”

She shows you a couple of Instagram stories from her friends posting about the launch party. It turns out, there were a lot of Korea-based personalities who were invited. You spot Jungkook immediately, wearing the all-white ensemble that you packed for him the other day. His hair is a bit curled and the knitted top underneath the simple coat highlights his taut physique. There’s also that gorgeous woman around his arms, and if what you know about him is enough, you’d guess she’s probably one of those he seeks for a good time. 

The sight of him loosening up a bit and enjoying himself is something you appreciate. He’s always stressed when he’s here and you’re glad he could spend a few days partying elsewhere without having to think about work, especially during the week of his birthday. You don’t know how much of this aspect of his life he enjoys, but he does seem a bit free yet still somehow detached. You suppose that’s something he’ll always be - a man trying to live his life while separating himself from the meaning of it. You’re unsure of how he does it but perhaps it’s not that different from how you are, too. 

After lunch, Soomin and Jimin do a few more of your errands with you before dropping you home and then heading back to theirs. You spend the rest of the evening arranging your plants in your tiny apartment and feeling like more life is breathed into it with every one of them finding their home in a corner or on a shelf. Oddly enough, you feel a bit less lonely. That’s how you think you’ve been doing things, after all - finding substitutes for the kind of company you’re yearning for, for the kind of relationship you’re so afraid to have.

Jungkook wakes up that Monday morning feeling a lot better than he did the days before. For one, there’s no ringing in his head nor the feeling of dehydration. Bare under his soft covers, there also aren’t any fresh marks on his chest that signify the kind of night he usually has. In fact, he remembers most of it - he stayed by the bar and briefly chatted with the women who’d approached him. 

Suzy was there last night, too, the only one he’s hooked up with more than once, and probably the only one he’s had proper conversations with, given that she’s a landscape designer. She’s been away on business trips and had just gone back, her bluntness about going back to his apartment that she’s too familiar with being met with a rejection that she didn't take personally. 

“Has Seoul changed you?” She asked, her eyebrow arched in anticipation of his reply.

“Do you think a place would do that to me?” He laughed.

“No, but a person would,” she shrugged. 

“None of that,” he shook his head. “There’s no one. I’m too busy, too tired.”

“But not too lonely?” she asked. “It’s the only reason why you would call me.”

There was no bitterness in her words but still, he asked. “And why did you always come, then?”

“To see if each time would be good enough for you to not make me leave.” 

The conversation took a turn that he didn’t expect, the usual honesty in her words being too honest for him. He fumbled for something to say but she shook him off, claiming that she knew what she was getting into every time he took her home and that constantly hoping for something doesn’t guarantee that she’d get it one day. 

He drank a couple of glasses of whiskey after she left but managed to call his butler for a sandwich and lemon ginger tea in time for his arrival at his penthouse. The meal did the trick, as he’d slept soundly after a warm bath without a splitting headache and regrets the next day. 

It’s Monday, after all, and it’s back to work as usual. He has a few meetings to attend before flying back to Seoul, one of which is with the team. He gathers the energy to get off the bed for a half-hour exercise before getting ready. He eats the breakfast that the butler orders for him then heads to the office where he briefly meets with Lucas. 

Settled on his desk, he proceeds to virtually meet with the team, who all promptly greet him from the conference room. He asks how their weekend was, with most of them looking surprised because he rarely asks them about it, but they answer anyway. That’s when he notices that you’re not around, prompting him to look for you.

“I’m here, Mr. Jeon,” you answer off camera before appearing on screen with a candle-lit cake in your hands.

He’s surprised when the team sings him a happy birthday, your eyes fixed on him as you mouth the words with a soft smile on your face. Do-hyun giggles at his silence, saying that he probably forgot it was his birthday or he maybe didn’t expect that they’d prepare something for him. 

“We like you now, Mr. Jeon,” she teases, earning him a nudge from Chin-sun but she doesn’t seem to mind and neither does he. 

It’s what makes him laugh, hoping that the pink on his cheeks aren’t visible on screen. He hadn’t expected this. He also knows he doesn’t deserve it, but he’d bet that you had everything to do with this.

“You’ve probably been too busy to celebrate but we haven’t forgotten. More like, Ms. Cho made sure we remembered,” Manager Lee chuckles. “We hope you enjoy this little something we prepared.”

“It’s an ice cream cake so it’ll just be in your refrigerator and you can have some when you return,” you say. 

“Thank you,” he finally manages to say. “You didn’t have to but I appreciate it. I’m looking forward to having some when I get back. Ms. Cho should also buy another one big enough for the team to share.”

You nod in acknowledgment of his instruction before starting with the meeting. There’s a lot to talk about, given the Arts Center construction and activities, as well as the upcoming year-end events that they have to organize and coordinate. It goes on for over two hours and it ends with your gentle smile after he says goodbye.  

The rest of the day feels too long for Jungkook, especially during the late afternoon flight and eventual ride home. He stares at the photo you sent of the cake, making sure he sees the greeting on it. 

“Get home safely, Mr. Jeon,” you text him after he says thanks. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With the reminders of the impermanence of things and people this weekend, Jungkook finds comfort in the stability that you provide. It’s in your smile, in your reminders and organization of his life, in your thoughtfulness and patience. It’s in the assurance that tomorrow is another day, one in which he gets to see you once again.

The cake is simple but sophisticated. The mint chocolate flavor is exactly how he likes it and in ice cream cake form, it’s really delicious. He’s glad he gets to have this all for himself, as the team was able to enjoy one yesterday as per his instruction, and you’d sent a group photo of everyone enjoying it to him, the small smile that formed on his face no longer surprising him. 

For one, the comfort is there. He’s seen just how much better the team is working together because of it - they’re more open to giving him feedback and receiving his, any moment of frustration is easily mended with laughter, and his encouragement and affirmation have been motivating them as well. In the midst of it is you who makes sure that communication flows smoothly and that everything is on track, acting as the glue that keeps everyone together. 

He sees firsthand just how good you are at handling things, and how despite all the stress, you manage to get him seaweed soup and a cake for his birthday. It’s more than just the details regarding work that you’re on top of; it’s also details about his life, and how he’s responding to it tells him that maybe, whatever change there is like what Suzy observed, a big part of it is because of you.

“I’m glad you like it, Mr. Jeon,” your voice cuts through his thoughts. 

He looks up and sees you with a portfolio in hand, motioning towards the cake that’s now one fourth eaten.

“Ah, yeah,” he says, not denying it. “I feel like I haven’t had sweets in a while. Where did you buy this?”

“Oh, uh, I asked the baker who made desserts for the Arts Center event if she could make a customized ice cream cake,” you explain. “Fortunately she could. And thankfully it’s delicious. She enjoyed working with us so she gave us a discount.”

“You… had this made for me?”

He’d expected it to be store-bought, but learning you made the effort to reach out to someone reminds him once more of your thoughtfulness, of your care.

“Yes, I, uh, I just assumed you’d receive a few and I thought to give you something a little different.”

“It’s the only one I got actually,” he says, catching you off guard. Your face falls a little so he follows it up. “Like I told you, I don’t celebrate my birthday so I don’t let people know about it. And the ones who do also know that I don’t make a big deal out of it so they don’t really give me anything.”

“Oh,” you say, feeling a little sad. 

You’re not one to have big celebrations but you do have a bit of it. For your 30th birthday at the start of the year, Jimin and Soomin threw you a little party in your humble home in Daegu where they performed some of your favorite songs and enacted your favorite drama scenes to make you happy. There was no need for anything fancy - just your loved ones and your mom’s and Min-woo’s amazing cooking. 

But even before that milestone, your friends always made sure to at least get you seaweed soup and a birthday cake; they want you to remember that there are lives impacted because you were born. You can’t really say that Jungkook’s impacted your life the same way but you still value his existence; a small cake is just a little something to celebrate that. But the idea that his family and friends pass up on the cake - and perhaps the gifts, too - makes you think that there’s really not much in Jungkook’s life he feels he could share with others, that there’s not much he could give and receive in return. 

“I hope I didn’t cross a line if it’s something you don’t like people knowing,” you continue. “I just thought… it would be nice to receive something from us.”

“It actually was,” he admits, his voice soft and low. Turning away, he says, “it’s been a while since I actually thought about my birthday as anything other than ordinary. It’s nice to be reminded sometimes. So thank you, Ms. Cho. For the soup, too. I appreciate it.”

Perhaps it’s his honesty that does it, but you can’t help the smile that forms on your face. If learning how to express gratitude is something you could teach him, you already feel accomplished. 

It’s the next day when you find yourself back in Jungkook’s office, staring at the potted plant in your hands. You’ve gone from debating on whether to leave it on his desk or the coffee table, to even giving it at all. You won’t lie and say you didn’t know what you were thinking when you passed by the plant store after work last night to get this specifically for him. You did - you wanted him to feel that joy of receiving a gift, which you suppose doesn’t happen, especially for someone who can literally buy anything he wants. 

But still, it doesn’t mean that your good intention will be received well. You’ve given Hoseok a small gift every year for his birthday, partly because he likes receiving them and also because it’s your way of saying thanks. 

You want to give this to Jungkook as a form of gratitude, too. Despite how you both started, the amount of things you’ve learned from him and continue to have somehow made up for it, and you also know that he’s learning from you as well. He’s given you agency to make decisions. He’s also given you events and small projects to manage, making you realize it’s what you really enjoy doing. Seeing things come together the way you envisioned it is so satisfying. Perhaps without intending it, Jungkook’s showed you a way out, a path that you want to explore so much that you’re willing to let go of all that you know in this company for something new, for something that feels more like you. 

Your thoughts have completely digressed and with the time you took debating and reflecting, you hadn’t heard his footsteps, and so you jerk a little when he calls out your name.

Turning around, you bow in greeting, remembering at the same time that you have something that you’re not 100% sure yet you want to give right now. But as always, he calls you out on it. 

“Is that a snake plant?” He asks, walking towards his seat.

“Yes.”

“Is that the one on your desk?”

“Uh, no, actually,” you laugh dryly, knowing you can’t turn back from it now. “I… I meant to give it to you, sir. I just thought that, uh, the money tree on the shelf might be too lonely so I got you a desk plant. I heard it’s good for positive energy and to filter the air.”

“It is,” he hums. “Is that why you got yourself one?”

“I suppose. I figured it could help improve my mood. Yoongi suggested it before but I just kept pushing it back. I finally got some for my apartment last weekend,” you explain, just so he knows it didn’t come out of nowhere. 

“And you think this will improve my mood?” He arches an eyebrow. 

“Maybe,” you shrug. “We’ll probably need a dozen of them here but we could start with one.”

He matches your soft laughter with his own, which you’re thankful for. He reaches out for the plant, nonchalant like you when your fingers brush against each other. 

“Hopefully this will work,” he says as he places the small, white pot next to his desktop. 

You leave him so he could prepare for a conference call while you’re set to meet with the marketing team. Jungkook gazes at the plant and notices the little note attached to the string around the stem. 

Happy birthday, it reads. 

This wasn’t just something to match the money tree that Hoseok left for him that he hasn’t been caring for much. This was a gift for him. You probably assume that if he doesn’t receive birthday cakes, he wouldn’t be receiving gifts, either. And you’d be right. His best friends just throw him parties. And once he left Seoul to obtain his MBA in Singapore and stayed to work in their Southeast Asian headquarters, the distance between him and his parents grew. They’d reach out but he didn’t bother much, so he’d stopped expecting anything. After he broke up with Chaerin, he stopped receiving anything at all. This is the first time he’s gotten something from someone after a long time. 

It’s simple in its meaning and honest in its intention, and he doesn’t hold back the smile that forms on his face.

You watch the realization dawn on Jungkook from outside. You’d remembered the silly note you left right as you sat down and didn’t have time to take it back, which really wasn’t much, but you suppose it’s enough to tell him that the plant indeed is a gift. You don’t know if someone like him even receives them, or would even appreciate something so cheap and humble, but the gentle smile he has on tells you that he probably doesn’t get much, but that this is something he welcomes. 

Your smile follows soon after but it feels different this time. There’s pride somehow that your little gift could elicit something so rare out of him. There’s also a bit of awe; this is the softest he’s ever looked, with that tinge of gratitude and yearning, a complete contrast to what you know of him, to how you’ve always seen him. It’s… it’s actually beautiful. 

And this is when things start to get confusing, especially as your phone beeps with that SMS from him.

[From: The Boss] Thank you, ___.

It’s the non-work message. It’s the use of your name. This is personal for him and you acknowledge that it’s the same for you. Perhaps there’s a reason why you made the effort to get the gift last night, why it mattered to you that he received something to celebrate his birthday, and why seeing him appreciate it the way he does is making you giddy and satisfied at the same time. 

Maybe it’s the care you’re starting to feel for him that’s beyond just wanting to make your job bearable. You’ll dissect what that truly means later on, but right now it’s just you, him, and the glass wall in between the both of you. There’s distance, there’s a boundary, but there’s a transparent barrier that allows you to see what’s on the other side, one which allows you to know who he is behind the man you’ve come to know. And you admit, he’s not so bad after all.

The construction of the Arts Center is going better than expected. Given some of the delays due to the wrong materials delivered and some permits that took a while to get, the workers were able to make up some ground, largely due to Jungkook’s supervision. When you both visited a few weeks ago, there were many things to work on, and he managed to identify the priorities and find ways to get the project back on track. 

It was during those few days of constantly being on site that you saw how efficient and effective he really works. You admired his precision and attention to detail, how he instructed the team leads and project managers and laborers, how he put together the design of one of the rooms just as he’d envisioned it. 

He was commanding and decisive, and you appreciated his thorough and simple explanations that allowed you to keep up with him. He’s said that he wants you to understand what’s happening so that you’re well-informed should you need to communicate to others on his behalf, and what initially intimidated you turned into something you became interested in. Since then, you’ve been watching design shows to help you further. The challenge was welcomed, and now you feel like everyday, you’re learning something new on the job. 

His instructions from that time were followed, and you’re back today to inspect the rest of the spaces. Everything is so massive, and with one half of the wall of the performance hall already done, you can clearly see the upgrade. The details are impressive, and the way that the traditional designs merge with modern elements is a feature itself. 

You’re immersed in the intricacies of the ceiling, walking towards the wall to get a closer look that you don’t immediately notice the workers walking past you with a massive slab of marble. The moment that you do, you step back too quickly, tripping on your heels, and just as you brace yourself to hit the ground, you instead feel your back against a firm chest, with hands on your elbows breaking your fall.

You sigh in relief, even leaning your head back because nothing could be more embarrassing than falling on your ass in front of many people, including your boss. That is, until the familiar scent of jasmine and bergamot wafts through your nose and you realize that what you just did is debatably more embarrassing than what could’ve happened. 

The familiar clearing of the throat is what finally does it for you, and with wide eyes, you turn around and face him to apologize. 

“I’m sorry, sir. I—”

“Was so much in awe that you didn’t notice the workers passing by,” he finishes, his slightly teasing smile calming you down.

“Ah, well of course. The details are too pretty,” you reason, stepping back only a little. You look at him shyly. “But thank you. I was about to fall.”

“I know. And I was about to lose it if my assistant got injured on the job.”

“True. It’s bad publicity, I guess,” you shrug. “And distractions could cause delays. And that’s bad, too.”

“Or you know, I simply just can’t have you injured, simple as that,” he says with a little frown on his face. 

“Imagine if I didn’t see them? They could’ve dropped the marble and I would’ve completely lost it!”

“Why?” He arches an eyebrow.

“That slab is like, two months’ worth of salary, Mr. Jeon.”

“It’s actually more but that’s not the point,” he fully frowns now. “If you didn’t see them, then they could’ve hit you, and then you would be whining in pain right now. You could’ve gotten seriously hurt, ___.”

His voice is firm and low, and you nod in acknowledgment because you also know he’s right. The workers’ vision was limited but yours wasn’t; you were just too distracted and if you hadn’t pulled early enough, that marble really could’ve done damage to you. And if it wasn’t for Jungkook catching your fall, then something bad still would’ve happened to you.

“But are you okay? You didn’t twist your ankle or anything?” He asks.

“No. Uh, the heel’s just a bit loose but I’m fine,” you reply, still trying to wrap your head around how he’d said your name - informally, in this setting, as he told you that you could’ve gotten hurt. Maybe you weren’t imagining the worried tone of his voice earlier.

“Okay,” he sighs. “You have to be careful next time.”

“I will, sir,” you reply. 

You step aside and Jungkook sees you from his peripheral vision as he returns to assessing, staying put and only glancing at the ceiling unlike earlier. He’d seen you marvel at the design of the hall earlier, and while he was initially doing the same, seeing you wide-eyed and impressed caught his attention more. 

Many times, he’s seen you look dejected, frustrated, angry. He’s seen your moments of focus and joy, too, but this is the first time he’s seen you be in awe. There was this softness on your face that was still filled with emotion, and he’d been drawn to you enough to see that you were about to fall. He’s glad he has quick reflexes and was able to get to you in time, the worry he felt at the thought of you getting hurt in any way was quite overwhelming for him. And while it’s partly because you’re his responsibility in this case, he also knows it’s more than that. 

He gestures moving to another room and you follow him outside, and just as you try to stay close to him, Jungkook also makes sure you’re away from any kind of danger. He moves to your side when there are workers nearby with their heavy equipment and large materials. He shields you from the drilling. He glances at you as you both walk towards the other performance hall. And when you get there, you see the ceiling installation is ongoing, and Jungkook immediately calls for hard hats for the both of you. 

He hands you one and you put it on, fumbling with the strap underneath your chin. You groan in frustration when you’re unable to lock it, and that’s when you see him move towards you. 

“Let me,” he says.

You stop your movements and shyly nod in agreement, and he waits for you to let go before he fixes it himself. 

It’s a little odd being on the other side, since it’s always you who fixes his tie or his coat. But you’re the one watching him now, with his furrowed brows and seriousness in securing this safety gear on you making you feel warm inside.

He steps back then looks at you, trying hard to control his laughter.

“Are you laughing at me, sir?” You pout.

“No. I don’t make fun of people,” he says, turning serious now, but you don’t miss the grin on his face.

It’s unfair that he looks good even with a hard hat on.

One of the project managers calls him and he goes around, with you staying close by. This performance hall is bigger and boasts of a more traditional design, which would hold the cultural performances that the Culture Minister is very excited about. You watch Jungkook inspect the space with thoroughness, checking each wall panel and each seat. 

It’s amazing to you just how involved he is with this project even with the project managers handling things relatively well. He wants to be on top of everything, he’s said; it matters too much for him to not know what’s going on. 

You see Yoongi enter the room and approach him. Once he sees you, he laughs as well.

“Do I look that bad?” You groan. “Mr. Jeon was laughing at me, too.”

“It’s a little big, and I guess I’m just not used to seeing you in one,” Yoongi shrugs.

“Why don’t you have one?”

“I don’t need it. I’m here all the time and nothing happens.”

“Well, I’ve been here a few times and I almost fell earlier,” you say, recalling the almost-embarrassment.

“I know, I saw it,” he chuckles.

“You were there?!” You gasp.

“No, I was totally in the other room that’s why I witnessed you almost get hit by the marble then trip on yourself,” he deadpans. 

“I didn’t see you, that’s all,” you shrug. 

“I was by the doors. I checked these spaces yesterday and I just wanted to be around in case Jungkook had new instructions,” he explains. “But I gotta say, you guys were kinda cute earlier.”

“Almost falling on my ass isn’t cute, Min Yoongi,” you scowl. “I could’ve either ruined the marble slab or hurt my bum. Either way, it would’ve been embarrassing.”

“I didn’t mean just you. I meant you guys,” he gestures towards Jungkook. “He caught you, didn’t he?”

“Yes… That was embarrassing, too,” you frown. “What’s cute about that?”

“He looked worried. It’s just not something I’ve seen him be towards other people, that’s all.”

“It’s because an injured employee on site isn’t good, okay? Plus, if I’m incapable, then no one’s gonna be around to make his life easier,” you reason.

Yoongi stares at you for a while before shaking his head. “Wow, you really are dense.” 

“I don’t know what you’re on about,” you cross your arms in frustration. 

“Forget about it,” Yoongi shakes his head, deciding not to push it. 

He’ll tell you another time that he’s glad you’re becoming more of yourself again, that the light has somehow come back, that there’s now comfort you exude around the man you’d once despised. Yoongi feels assured now that there’s someone else who seems to be looking out for you, and that it’s something you don’t seem to mind at all.

“Yah! You’re being all mysterious again!” You pout, something he chuckles about. 

“Me? Mysterious? Come on. I’ve always been an open book,” he teases. 

You’re just about to nag him again when you hear Jungkook clear his throat, and you turn towards him and ask if he’s already done inspecting.

“There are still a few things I want to run by my design lead before leaving,” Jungkook says. “Please move my meeting to 3PM.”

“That’s noted, sir. I’ll give Mr. Hong’s assistant a call.”

You excuse yourself and step outside, leaving both men alone.

“Angering my assistant, are you?” Jungkook asks Yoongi, the curious yet playful tone in his voice evident.

“Nah, just teasing. That a problem?” Yoongi answers back. 

“No. It’s good she has someone she’s comfortable with at work.”

“Could be you, you know? That isn’t so bad,” Yoongi remarks, surprising him. “And it doesn’t cross whatever boundary you’re trying so hard to stay behind.”

“We’re not… on that level. I mean, I don’t know how to be someone other people are comfortable being around,” Jungkook admits.

“I don’t know about that. Seems like you’re already that for her,” Yoongi says. “I was just teasing her about how you guys looked cute earlier, when you broke her fall.”

“You were there?”

“Both of you really don’t notice other people when it’s just both of you, huh,” Yoongi laughs. “But yeah, I was. I saw her relief. And I saw you worry.”

Jungkook merely shrugs, not wanting to confirm. Even if he denies it, Yoongi will still believe what he wants to believe. But the older man knows you well just as much as he knows him. 

“You care about her, don’t you?” Yoongi responds to the silence. “And I mean not in a superficial way, or a good boss caring for his employee type of way. Like, you worry when she’s sick or overworking, when she’s hurt or in danger. You want her to always be safe, to get rest. You like having her near. You wanna know that she’s happy.”

“You know I can’t do that,” Jungkook finally answers. “I can’t think of her that way.”

“I know. That’s why you were the way you were,” Yoongi says. “How else do you respond to things you can’t control than through anger and detachment? But just because you shouldn’t, it doesn’t change the fact that you do.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that it’s wrong,” Jungkook counters.

“Well, irrationally calling her out and being angry were wrong, too, and you did those because you weren’t being honest with yourself,” Yoongi argues. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, the least you can do is be true to yourself about how you feel. Because the more you deny, then the more you resist, and when you do that, you end up hurting her. Is that what you want?”

“Of course not.”

“Then just… accept things - what you feel, what you both are, what you can or can’t be.”

Jungkook looks at his friend as if some epiphany had just transpired. It’s been difficult for him to make sense of what he feels around you. There’s always that air of familiarity, but the warmth and comfort are new. There’s the reality that you come from different worlds, but that you both somehow feel and experience and maybe desire the same things. There’s that sense of fear over change and of what he can’t control, yet you somehow provide the calm and stability that he hasn’t felt in a long time. 

It’s all these contradictions that have been messing with him, and Yoongi’s right - because of all the times that Jungkook had wanted to create that distance, all it did was hurt you. That’s the last thing he wants, he realizes now. He’s seen you struggle, and even if that’s just a fraction of what you normally go through, it’s enough to tell him that he doesn’t want you to experience that again, especially not because of him. It’s too early to say the extent of his care towards you, and it’s not something he’s willing or ready to explore right now. But just as Jungkook’s about to comfort himself that it’s fine, and that he shouldn’t dwell on it anyway so as not to further nurture it, Yoongi speaks again.

“Just… just a heads up, though,” he adds. “The care that I felt, that’s how it started for me.”

“What started?”

“Me, liking her.”

It’s at that moment when you come back from your call, and you inform Jungkook that the meeting’s been moved and that he has a scheduled one with some of the directors on Monday. 

“Alright,” he says, directing you and Yoongi towards the souvenir shop, temporarily disregarding what he was warned about.

“You two looked so serious. Everything okay?” You whisper to your friend. 

“Yeah,” Yoongi hums, giving you the most genuine smile he could give. 

There’s that sparkle and softness in your eyes that had captured him all those years ago. They dimmed throughout the years and they’ve just been sporadic, illuminating only during specific moments. He’d seen them again a lot more regularly, and even today, as you looked around the halls and admired the designs of the space. 

Yoongi doesn’t know if a certain person is the reason for that. He knows you enough that you wouldn’t even notice it, so you definitely wouldn’t know what caused the change. But as your friend, he hopes one day you will, so that if you’re brave enough, too, you’d try to make sure that the light stays. 

The inspection ends and you get back to the office at 4. You return to piles of documents you have to sift through and encode, and your original plan of leaving on time changes. 

Jungkook spends over an hour talking with Yoongi and the construction lead about the Arts Center, and once that’s over, you see just how exhausted he is. He’s massaging his temples and sighing deeply, and you know that whatever just transpired, he’s going to be thinking about it all throughout the weekend, which he doesn’t really have time for. The gala that one of the Board members throws annually is tomorrow night, an event you’ll be attending with him as well. 

You enter his room to remind him about it and to give some forms for his signature. He signs them off, and when you say you’ve got a few more requests that you’ll leave on his desk for Monday, he tells you to just wait until then.

“Go home, Ms. Cho,” he says. “It’s been a long week. And it won’t end until after tomorrow night.”

“What about you, Mr. Jeon?”

“I’ve got some stuff to sort through after inspection. I’ll probably leave in an hour or so.”

You frown, a mannerism of yours that he’s gotten used to seeing. It’s mixed with a pout that often makes him internally laugh because it seems unlike you. It also always means there’s something you want to say that you’re holding back.

“Should I not?” He arches an eyebrow.

“Hmm. Just thinking that it might be better for you to take a rest tonight, too,” you advise. “The gala could be quite draining and it would be good to save your energy for that.”

“I’ll think about it,” he hums.

“Then I’ll think about going home, too,” you answer back. 

Jungkook chuckles, knowing you’re always going to counter him in some way. And he’s glad that you do.

“You may go. And get a good rest, too.”

You nod and bid him goodbye, exiting the room to start packing your things. It’s five minutes later when the door opens and you see him with his bag, ready to head home as well.

You smile at his tender doe-eyes as he admits through them that you were right - he doesn’t have a reason to stay behind, so he’ll call it a night and get as much rest as he can. 

He pauses by the entryway, and you pick up that he’s waiting for you, perhaps to make sure that you’re indeed going home. You quicken your pace and walk next to him, steps in pace as you both go to the elevator and down to the lobby. 

“Mr. Ri can bring you home after me,” Jungkook says. “It’s late already.”

“Not late enough,” you reply. “I’m okay, Mr. Jeon. It’s not necessary.”

He concedes, and you wait for the car to arrive and say goodbye to him again. 

There’s a softness on his face as he lingers before he enters. A small smile forms, and it’s what you see until you fall asleep that night. It’s the same one that’s oddly been giving you comfort lately - it’s a little restrained but somehow it still looks vulnerable. Perhaps it represents how Jungkook’s been to you - there are some contradictions, but beyond all that, there’s care.

Mr. Ri happily greets you as you enter the car that late Saturday afternoon to head to Jungkook’s penthouse. He compliments your dress, saying it’s nice to see you in something formal that fits your style - it’s simple yet elegant, and you tell him that your mother wouldn’t stop gushing over you through the screen, nagging you to send full-body photos so she could appreciate you more.

Jimin and Soomin surprised you in the morning to help you fix up, insisting that they wanted to make sure you spoiled yourself for the event. If you wouldn’t, they would, so they treated you to the hair salon and had your nails done. They’re the ones who took so many photos like some formal dance, and Jimin commented that the only downside was that they were sending you off to pick up Jungkook. 

Defending your boss the way you did surprised you a little; it surprised them a lot more. You’d said that he bought you the dress, that he’s been nothing but kind, and that whatever negative feelings you had towards him are all in the past. Your friends understood, deciding not to ruin your night and then letting you go so they could eat out and meet you back at your apartment once you’re done. 

You chat with Mr. Ri about how things have been at work, your friends, and your family. You also talk about the gala and how it feels a little nerve-racking attending this time, given your experience with Jungkook. 

It’s a grand event that the company’s executives attend, and guests are asked to refrain from going solo. For such requests, it’s not unusual for them to bring their assistants. You’re expected to attend anyway, and assistants usually partner up with each other and it always worked. You went with Hoseok last year because A-yeong had a work event, and while you expected that Jungkook wouldn’t care for such request and maintain that he’d go by himself, you also didn’t think that CEO Jeon would insist that his son take you as his date so he wouldn’t be alone. 

The elder Jeon had reasoned that business discussions usually take place during the gala, and it would be good for you to be around and be familiar with the new people on the scene. Hoseok had said that they’re expected to stay through the whole thing, and it’s much better for his cousin to have a companion so he could survive the night. That was months ago when things were still a little shaky for you both. You still remember Jungkook’s displeased look when it seemed like he had no choice in the matter, especially since he probably thought that his father just wanted to make sure he’d act accordingly. It feels like a lifetime ago, really, as you think about his soft smile from last night. 

You don’t know exactly what you’re feeling, why his gestures or mannerisms suddenly mean something to you, or why there’s excitement when you think about seeing him outside of work. You’re unsure why the curve of his lips when he grins or the deep huff that follows his laugh makes you a little giddy, or why his eyes lingering on you makes your heart beat a little faster than usual.  

Just like right now, as they gaze at you while you seemingly do the same. 

“You look, uh—” he starts, unable to find the accurate but appropriate term to describe how you look. 

“Nice?” You finish, recalling the term he’d used when you tried this gown for the first time. 

“Something like that,” he chuckles, earning him a giggle from you.

He playfully shakes his head, perhaps knowing that you’re used to him not making grand compliments or anything. But he does smile after, and there goes that blissful feeling again. 

Maybe it’s because for the first time, you’re being appreciated. Maybe just like how it’s been recently, he likes being around you, prefers it, even. And given how you felt so unwanted during his first few weeks here, this is a blessing, as if in his appreciation of you, you’re liking yourself as well.

“Well, in my opinion, you look quite dashing, Mr. Jeon,” you say bravely. “Except your waistcoat seems to be uneven.”

“Exactly what I thought,” he sighs. “I can’t quite align it properly.”

And as you always do, you approach him, your hands immediately going towards his shoulders to flatten the vest, then his sides to pull it down. You adjust it a little bit more then fix his collar after, and suddenly this feels so natural - being close to him, taking in his scent, and smiling as he glances at you. 

“Do you need help with your coat?” You ask once you finish.  

He nods and you follow him to his walk-in closet where you take the last piece of clothing and assist him in wearing it. He adjusts the lapels while you assess if all wrinkles have been flattened. You watch him look at himself in the mirror and you can’t help but admire him as well. He exudes confidence, which you can say now is strikingly different from the Appointment Dinner where he still looked a bit unsure. But now, he commands respect. The deep black color of his striped three-piece ensemble with his slick hair parted in the middle makes him even more handsome, and you manage to hold in the gasp you were about to release as he faces you for a final look.

“All good?” He asks. 

“All good,” you smile, turning around and walking back to the living room. 

He follows, and he takes this time to bask in your beauty before he has to act like it doesn’t affect him again.

There’s a reason why he was rendered speechless the first time he saw you in this gown at the tailor shop, so much so that he had to step out to get some air. You look even more stunning now, with your classic but natural-looking makeup and your styled hair. You exude a certain kind of glow that sucks him in, that makes his heart race yet soothes him just the same. 

It’s a little dangerous for him, given that he’ll be spending this entire evening with you as his date, looking the way you do while he has to act disinterested, as if his attraction isn’t slapping him in the face and his internal alarm bells aren’t ringing.

But he has to act professional. He has to stay behind the lines even if his mind is yelling all the words about your beauty that he has to ignore. So he gives himself this short moment where he gets to admire you, and when you make it to the elevator and become confined in a small space, he holds his breath as you smile at him shyly, hoping that he doesn’t give himself away. 

He’ll get himself together, he orders to himself, and he’ll make sure he doesn’t scare you off. 

You make it to the lobby and enter the car. The drive to the venue is quiet at the beginning. It’s technically not a work day so there’s no reason to discuss work. You and Jungkook may have started talking about non-work matters but it doesn’t mean you readily talk about actual personal things. They’re occasional, as it’s not something he seems to do much and you’re often guarded about yours. It took a while for you to open up to Yoongi and even then, there are many things he doesn’t know. You’re comfortable around him, there’s no denying that, but there are still parts of you that you don’t like to share with others, and you suppose that Jungkook is the same.

But still, you ask how his evening was and how his day went, expecting he’d give a basic answer.

“I just stayed home last night and watched soccer over drinks,” he says. “Then I did my workout and went for a swim this morning. I did a bit of work in the afternoon and then got ready.”

“Ah, no party last night and then recovering from it in the morning?” You tease, knowing that’s a usual occurrence for him. Lucas did mention about the Singapore trip and how he’d taken home a passed out Jungkook on the night of his birthday. 

“Well, there was a party,” he responds. “There always is, but I passed up on it. I didn’t want to feel out of sorts tonight. There’ll be a lot of new faces and I don’t wanna mess up.”

“Oh, you won’t. You’ve been doing really well, Mr. Jeon. And that’s me being honest.”

“Why wouldn’t you be?” He arches an eyebrow. “Would you tell me otherwise?” 

“Well, the me of now, would. The me of a few months ago would want to but wouldn’t.” 

Jungkook dwells on your answer. “Hmm. What changed, then?”

“I got used to you.” 

He meets your gaze and somehow it feels too long. You don’t really know what prompted you to say it but you felt a little bold, a little too honest.

“In what sense?” he wonders, turning away now.

“I’d say I got used to the mood swings but then again, they haven’t been intense compared to those first few weeks,” you admit. “But surprisingly, it’s the calmness I’ve become accustomed to. And the seriousness and occasional zoning out, but also, the…”

Care, you want to say. Or the thoughtfulness. 

“Consideration,” you say instead. 

Jungkook’s throat dries up as he finds the words to say. He’s now afraid to look at you because he might give in and say something he’ll regret. He’s been praised before for his work and his designs, but he supposes that no one’s really complimented him for something he does for other people, specifically for you. Maybe that’s why he thinks he doesn’t deserve it; he’s unsure if he’s really considerate by nature or if he just is towards you. It’s why he brushes it off, insisting he just has his moments.

“But those moments could mean a lot to the one it’s shared with or directed to,” you counter. “Even if it was just once. Or even if it was so trivial that you probably forgot already. But the other person doesn’t. Or they would, but something about that moment stays.”

Jungkook thinks about the moments you’d shown him consideration. Or even care or thoughtfulness, but he wouldn’t word it that way to you. There are the big ones - when you showed your support of the Arts Center to his father, when you calmed him down during that first Board meeting, when you gave him the noodles when he was sick, when you stayed with him during his interview with the magazine publications.

When you stood up to him. When you didn’t quit after that first week.

There are also the small moments - the ginger and lemon tea on Monday mornings when he looks like he’d drank too much the night before, the biscuits you serve with his coffee, the affirming looks during team meetings, the comforting smiles from outside his office when he’s stressed. 

There’s a lot of those you show him, and he realizes now that he remembers each one. 

The silence returns soon after, as you both seem to prefer basking in the soft music that Mr. Ri plays. 

It’s 15 minutes later when you arrive at the venue. You get out of the car and meet Jungkook by his door, surprised when he offers his arm that you take. 

“This is how they do it, right?” He looks at you questioningly.

“Yes,” you chuckle. “It’s a little over-the-top but the hosts treat this like it’s some red carpet event and I just follow what the others do. Bitna says it’s the one time we could feel like proper ladies or something, whatever that means.”

“Hmm, makes sense. I guess I’ll be a proper gentleman, then. Whatever that means.” 

You hold onto him lightly as you both make your way inside. You try to disregard the firmness of his arm and the way it feels under your touch, so you gently let go not long after and clutch onto your purse instead, not wanting to give off the idea that you’re anything more than each other’s dates. You greet the guests and establish your position to those who are unaware in an effort to show that this social event is a work function as well. 

Jungkook talks about the Arts Center when he can, and you mentally take note of certain projects, sites, events, artists, and patrons that are mentioned, quickly typing them on your phone for future reference. He talks to you about them in between flutes of champagne and canapes that are some of the most delicious you’ve ever had.

Jungkook laughs as you down another brie and cranberry bruschetta.

“What? I like fancy food,” you pout.

“Yes, your normal people’s taste buds like fancy food,” he teases. 

It’s a statement you make often and you smile that he now uses it against you.

Your moments of casual ignorance of what’s going on around you are ones you find yourself enjoying too much. You internally sigh every time a guest approaches him, and even more so when you find yourself with a few others and someone stands a little too close, or has his hand linger on your elbow, or whispers something in your ear as if you’re at a bar and the music is too loud, which it isn’t, so there’s really no reason for this son of some business tycoon to be asking you to head outside “to talk.”

“Don’t you have a date?” You ask after he insists. 

“Yeah, some girl,” he shrugs. “She’s kinda boring. Lucky I found you.”

You awkwardly smile, knowing it’s not your place to reject him and make a scene. He looks to be the type who always gets his way and if he doesn’t this time, you’re afraid of how he might take it. 

You don’t budge and call for another flute of champagne instead, finishing it in one gulp that has the man releasing a deep breath in front of you.

“So you’ve been working for the Jeon’s for 8 years, you say?” He speaks again.

You nod, looking around to avoid his eyes.

“That’s quite a long time, yeah? I’m sure I can get you a spot at my company,” he brags. “I mean, we sell luxury cars. That’s way more interesting than buildings and shit.”

“I don’t drive,” you say too quickly. “I mean, I don’t know how to.”

“Perfect. I can teach you then,” he smirks. 

It’s the look that heightens your level of discomfort, and just as you’re about to make some excuse and run away, Jungkook calls your name that has you immediately turning towards him.

“Yes, Mr. Jeon?”

He’s not too far away; he comes closer yet still maintains a bit of a distance. 

“Hoseok’s asking for me but I want to speak to Mr. Saito before he leaves. Can you go to my cousin on my behalf?”

“Of course,” you say, excusing yourself and scurrying away from the scene, sighing in relief at the sight of a familiar pair of faces.

A-yeong gives you a hug and you return it, then you turn to Hoseok and ask what he needs Jungkook for.

“Nothing,” he says. “I didn’t call for him.”

“Oh, okay. Well, he said you did.”

“I haven’t spoken to him since we got here,” Hoseok replies. “You know how this gala goes. So many people to meet. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, just… uh. Well, I just met Mr. Kwon’s son. And let’s just say, I don’t want that to happen again.”

“Oh, ___,” A-yeong sighs, knowing exactly what you mean. “Just stay with us. Or don’t leave Jungkook’s side.” Turning towards the man who’d just arrived, she adds, “stay close to her, okay?”

Jungkook looks at you, his eyes asking a question that you know the answer to but neither of you says anything. 

“I will,” he nods. 

Both of you stay where you are for a while before heading back to your seats for the sit-down dinner. You converse with those at your table, thankful that they’re all decent and entertaining. After that, Jungkook doesn’t leave your side. It almost seems like he’s your date rather than the other way around, but you appreciate his presence, especially when he calls your attention once you start looking uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry,” you sigh. “I just… I just get a little uneasy when people I don’t know get too close.”

“I understand. I’m the same,” he says, prompting you to look at him. “But I just feel uncomfortable, not unsafe. There’s a difference. And it’s not okay if that’s how they make you feel.”

He knew without you saying the words. It takes you back to that night at the restaurant with Hajoon and how Jungkook had looked the most guilty he’d ever been when you said that his staring made you feel uncomfortable. You supposed then that it was mostly because he thought he was causing a rift between you and Hajoon but you realize now that it was more than that. For all that Jungkook is, you’ve come to see that there are things he can’t stand himself doing; deliberately making you feel unsafe is definitely one of them. Perhaps it’s why at this moment, you feel the exact opposite being around him. 

And that’s how the rest of the night goes. He stays close but when he’s caught up in a conversation he can’t get out of, he gives you that look to remind you that it’s okay to step away, that you have the ability to remove yourself from a situation you don’t feel good being in. And you do, and the worry you used to have about being a mere assistant fades away. You never thought that one Jeon Jungkook would give you the permission to do that.

You’re seated on a chair some time later, the hours of walking in your high heels taking its toll on you. You wave to Hoseok and A-yeong, no longer having the energy to walk up to them for a proper goodbye. You sigh to yourself, feeling the tiredness slowly overtake you. It was still a good night, but it took a lot of energy from you, too. 

“Hey,” you hear Jungkook call out. 

You turn to him, still looking handsome as he stands nearby, his hands in his pockets as he mirrors your exhaustion.

“Ready to head home?” He asks.

“Yes,” you say too quickly, earning you a laugh. 

You stand up, limping only a tiny bit, but you think Jungkook notices, as he offers his arm just like he did at the start of the night.

“This is what a proper gentleman does, right?” He asks. 

“I suppose. Although I might say, Mr. Jeon, that’s what you were the entire time. So thank you.”

Jungkook nods in response, unsure how to receive your gratitude. He knows what you mean, as the first sign of your discomfort had him looking at you constantly. He was worried all night but he supposes there’s no reason to feel that way now, as your faint smile just signifies that you’re tired more than anything. 

For the short moment it takes for you to walk closer to him, he basks in your beauty once more. The night will be over soon, and he’s glad he could give you some reprieve this time. He tries not to lose it when you tighten your grip on his arm for support though, but that’s something he can think about later on. 

The walk to the car isn’t that long and you let go of him eventually. You head towards the other door then enter, the space in between reminding him of where you both belong - on either side of a line, one that he shouldn’t think of crossing.

You sink into your seat, fighting the urge to curl your body and take a nap, so you sit up straight and hold yourself together after once again feeling Jungkook’s arm under your touch. Most of the alcohol has left your system but perhaps not enough, as you boldly look at him and smile in appreciation. He returns it, perhaps knowing why you are.

You look out the window, appreciating Seoul’s night sky, until the vision starts getting unclear, as the rain falls steadily on the window. The tapping of the droplets on the glass is a sound you’ve come to appreciate, among other things that you used to be terrified of. 

There’s just this calmness, as if the rain is greeting you, accompanying you in your thoughts. But the sound of the radio getting louder disrupts that a little bit, and in looking at Mr. Ri in question only to find him glancing at the rearview mirror to see the man next to you, do you realize why he’s doing so.

Jungkook’s demeanor has changed, a complete 180 to how he looked not long ago when he seemed satisfied, fulfilled, almost proud of himself for surviving the night. He’s now cross-legged and cross-armed, with his eyes closed and jaws clenched, as if he’s trying to hold himself together. Or trying his best to drown out the sound of the rain, the way Mr. Ri is trying to do for him.

Your face falls at the sight. You’ve seen Jungkook stressed and angry and disappointed; you’ve seen him anxious, too, but this is different. There’s a bit of fear in there, and with the way he flinches and how he’s clutching onto his arms, you know this comes from somewhere and this was caused by something. If it’s anything similar to what you know, then this was because of something painful.

You want to reach out to him but you know you shouldn’t. You helplessly look back on the road then glance at Jungkook every few seconds as the rain continues. It doesn’t seem like it will be a terrible downpour but it’s stronger than usual. 

You try to remember instances in the past where he’d acted this way. A few come to mind, and you think now there’s a reason why he becomes uneasy when it starts to drizzle. That happened the other week while you were on a site visit with him for a small project, but you hadn’t thought much of it, given that he was on his fourth cup of coffee on the way there. 

But right now, you wish there was something more you could do; anything is better than nothing. But you feel constrained - by the distance, by your position, by his boundaries that seem to always be there.

By some miracle, the rain weakens, and it’s stopped by the time you arrive at Jungkook’s apartment building. The car halts and with him still in the same position, you think he probably doesn’t realize he’s home. 

“Mr. Jeon,” you say softly, gently tapping his arm to get his attention. “We’ve reached your place. And the rain has stopped. It’s… it’s okay to open your eyes now.”

It takes a few seconds but he takes a deep breath, opens his eyes, then looks around. It’s just droplets frozen in time on his window and he sighs in relief. Somehow the assurance that he’s okay means something to you this time; you hate to think of what burden he carries that he hides away.

He opens the door, and there’s a bit of disappointment you feel when he closes it and leaves without a goodbye. You suppose he just wants to get to his place immediately and rush to safety. But you don’t want to intrude, not if distance is what he needs, so  you settle with just watching him walk away. 

But then he turns around, and with that bit of boldness left in your body, you open the window and give him another smile. You wish he feels the tenderness in it; you wish somehow it’s enough to let him know that you understand, and that he’s not alone. 

“Good night,” you manage to say, and he hears it despite the distance.

“Good night, ___. And thank you.”

It’s the use of your name. It’s the softness of his smile and the words of gratitude. It’s the way he lingers as the car starts to drive away and you’re left watching him even from afar. 

It lets you know that he knows. And it’s the reason why you sleep soundly that night and why for the first time since you’ve met him, you can’t wait to see him again. 

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[thesilmarillionblog]

WITH YOU, FOREVER

Soldier Boy x Reader

soldier boy being a baby boy dad, mommy reader, fluff, sweet, breastfeeding, baby boi is a supe, protective soldier boy, soft

Word Count: 3515

A/N: English is not my first language.

You can read this one-shot as my other work ANOTHER LIFE's sequel. But you don't have to read it if you don't want to.

While you were busy making dinner, you watched your little son, Jake, who was deeply interested in the TV cartoon and making noises that seemed to be a sign he was trying to communicate with the characters. You made an effort to get his attention, smiling to yourself, but he didn't look at you.

You and Ben thought that it would be best for you to take a break from work for a while because you had just given birth to him seven months ago, which was really difficult to endure, and you were still recovering. Actually, you almost died in childbirth. Thus, you had no intention of working for a while. Ben was happy when you informed him that you weren't willing to go back to work. You didn't have that energy. Furthermore, your only thought was to care for your infant right now. Additionally, you were advised to take a lot of rest, so you didn't voice any complaints about it.

Of course, if your son weren't as supe as his father, caring for him would be simpler. To your surprise, though, he hasn't displayed any signs of immense strength since birth. Still, you had no idea how to deal with him if his abilities suddenly surfaced. The problem was that you couldn't give him breastfeeding properly. You were warned that he may unintentionally tear off your nipple in an attempt to obtain more milk. Jake was built different after all, and he needed more milk. Ben was there to comfort you and tell you that you were doing well, which was a relief as you felt depressed and you felt like you were already failing.

At first, you didn't like the idea of him being a supe, but now you were happy that he had his strength. You felt concerned every time he attempted to do something that would injure him, even though you knew you shouldn't be. Yet, you were still protective over him; there was no need to deny.

Ben, though, was different. He was always keeping an eye on him, and although Jake was enjoying himself with his small toys, Ben was prepared to step in if something went wrong. Ben was also quite cheerful and energetic after Jake was born. With all the work in Vought, he felt more at ease and less nervous. His happiness was apparent, especially since Jake was also full of energy. Jake handled Ben's supe strength pretty well whenever Ben challenged him a little. 

Of course, Jake became tired of his father's kisses and hugs at times. As if he were the infant, Ben demanded all of his attention to himself.

You had just finished setting the table when you heard Ben enter. He said, “Daddy's home,” grinning slyly. As soon as he planted a strong, powerful kiss on your lips, his powerful arms found your waist and pressed your body to his. His tongue instantly dominated yours, stopping you before you could protest about how late he was.

There were moments when you felt a bit uncomfortable with your postpartum weight, but Ben didn't care and, on the contrary, had been behaving more aroused lately. He always had his palms on your ass, just like now. It didn't hurt at all, but your ass had some bruises. In fact, watching Ben act a little kinky was thrilling. 

“It was so hectic today in Vought; I couldn't give you a proper call, you know,” he continued quickly, sounding apologetic. You crushed your body into his as his powerful hands continued to squeeze your ass. He muttered, “Do you have an idea how much I missed you?”

His hardness against his jeans was palpable. His energy for sex was something else too. You didn't have sex for three months after giving birth, which was an especially difficult period for Ben, even though he never complained. You knew he was kind of traumatized because he almost lost you. However, because you recovered and felt more comfortable lately, the sex was even better than it had been. Of course, it would be nice if Jake could sleep and let you have your fun. When you or Ben tried to put him to sleep, he was sort of battling with you. When Ben tried his hardest to put him to sleep, as if he understood his father's intention and wanted to get under his skin, you could tell he was really struggling to stay awake just to make his dad annoyed.

“I could tell something else missed me too,” you said with a chuckle.

Ben's smile turned into a smirk, but your gaze shifted to the floor before he could continue. Jake was so excited that he was muttering and using his little hands to pull Ben's pants. He had crawled swiftly because he was still unable to walk and was unable to stand without clinging to Ben's trousers.

Ben's smile widened when he kissed you firmly once again, and he lifted Jake off the ground with a growl, causing him to giggle as he kissed him on his tummy. “How's my strong little eagle doing, huh?” Ben inquired while continuing to attack Jake's stomach as he could see he was having so much fun.

Jake was feeling a little stressed these days because they couldn't spend much time together because Ben had been working so much. Ben and you both guessed that it must have something to do with the Supe thing. Considering his tiny fingers were on Ben's chest most of the time, Jake adored the warmth that came from it, and he was delighted when his father got to spend time with him. 

“Did you upset your mommy? No?” Ben asked, continuing to kiss him. 

You said, “He's been a little naughty today,” and removed his socks, nearly dropping them to the ground. Jake joyfully moved his legs in relief. 

You let out a sigh. “He really enjoys getting undressed. He obviously took that from you, Ben.”

Ben grinned proudly and said, “Of course he did,” in agreement. “Just like his daddy, he will be attractive, hot, and tough. Right?”

“Not with a massive ego like yours, hopefully.”

He kissed you again after giving you a little spank on the ass and telling you that you should be punished for saying that. Ben changed his clothes, and when he returned, he filled his glass with whiskey. You removed Jake from Ben's arms and used the baby's bottle to feed him while the three of you sat down at the table. As he ate the steak that was put in front of him, he kept playing with Jake's feet. When you asked Ben how things were doing with Butcher and Annie, Jake turned his mouth away and refused the bottle, making you inhale deeply.

With a heavy sigh, you both turned to face him and whispered, “Come on.” You struggled to feed him all day. “I know you are hungry.” 

Ben said, “Maybe he's full,” as he observed his son refusing to drink milk. 

“No way,” you replied, worried about Jake's discomfort, particularly today, because he didn't even drink from the bottle properly. “He's been like this for the last few days. Today, he's even more stubborn.”

Jake was alarmed a little between your arms when he scented the milk coming out of your breaths, just as Ben was going to propose that you try feeding him himself. Again, you were leaking. It felt as though milk filled your entire chest, even though you were continuously filling all the bottles. Given that Jake was a Supe baby and drank more milk than a typical baby, it was obviously a positive thing, but because he was acting this way in the final days, you began to leak, exactly like you did in the first few months.

Although you knew it was impossible, you still wanted to breastfeed him properly. Watching his little hands touch your breasts and watching him gaze at you expectantly hurt.

You pressed the tip of the bottle to his lips and said, "Come on," but Jake pulled his head away stubbornly.

His tiny fingers tugged your blouse between gentle mumbles, trying to free one of your milk-leaking breasts, giving you the signal. You were aware of the risks, so it was agonizing for you when his little fingers lingered on your blouse and his green eyes begged you. You already had a hard time rejecting him and giving him food from a bottle. With a sigh, you continued to gently press the bottle's tip on his lips.

When Ben noticed his son excitedly wiggling his feet and watching the milk drip from your breaths, he stopped eating and attempted to distract him by playing with his small hands while you battled to feed him. 

Ben finally remarked, “He wasn't like this before,” expressing surprise at his son's persistent attempts to grasp your nipple while lowering your blouse. 

“Yeah,” you answered startledly. “He wants the milk straight from the source nowadays.” 

Ben chuckled as Jake was able to lower your top and reveal one of your milk-filled tits, causing your baby's eyes to widen and his entire body to shift between your arms with excitement. His tiny lips curled into a joyful smile. 

After placing the bottle on the table, you inhaled deeply. He couldn't possibly drink from the bottle today. He was being far too grumpy and uncomfortable. Despite your slight fear—in fact, you were terrified—you muttered, “All right.” As you placed your hungry son properly between your arms, you added, “I suppose we'll give it a try, honey.”

“Hey,” Ben interrupted you abruptly in a harsh voice. “You're not doing this. We know the risks.”

When Jake heard his father's rough voice, he jumped a little in your arms, and his eyes began to well up with tears due to his stress. He was quite sensitive to Ben's reactions, even though he didn't understand at all. 

Ben tried not to sound angry or anything, and his big hands began to gently touch his cheeks as his gaze softened. He spoke as though Jake might understand him while he toyed with his tiny hands that were stroking your breast. “All right, let's stop hurting your mommy now. Be a good boy.”

Jake neglected Ben entirely and kept mumbling before turning his chin to your breast again. From now on, you knew he was going to reject the bottle. Ben sighed deeply and made a move to take him from your arms, but Jake's face reddened, and he started crying uncontrollably as soon as he was taken from your arms and he lost contact with your breast.

In between sweet words, Ben tried to feed him while holding onto the bottle. But Jake was much more irritated when he felt it on his lips again immediately after his rejections, and he swiftly pushed it away from Ben's hands, sending it falling to the ground with a sudden force that made you both freeze. He had displayed some power on other occasions, but not in a way like this. It was like he was challenging his daddy's strength.

You weren't first concerned about his unexpected strength because the loud noise made him cry much more. 

“What now?” Ben caressed his back in a hurry, attempting to soothe him. He knew that Jake's senses were just as sharp as his, and that your baby could sense the stress you were experiencing. He was crying as a result of both feeling nervous and not getting what he wanted.

You demanded, “Just give him to me,” as his sobbing became so intense that he was gasping for air. His face became so red that you stopped caring about the risks.

Ben unwillingly gave him up since he felt helpless, but his hands were cautious and prepared to take him away as you positioned Jake for a proper breastfeeding. Even if you wouldn't deny feeling a little frightened, you weren't able to ignore and hear his cries for milk. You had theories, but you didn't know why he had been acting this way lately.

Jake stopped crying when you offered him your nipple, which had begun to drip milk, after you took a long breath. His lips swiftly caught it, and you jerked a little in surprise, which also made him uneasy. If he hurt you, Ben's hands were on your chin, ready to stop him at any time. He was only drinking the milk as if he were starving. He didn't hurt you at all. His screams eventually became soft sobs. He kept sobbing some more while he sucked your nipple, but he got relaxed eventually hearing your sweet words and feeling your soft touch on his cheeks.

Ben finally exclaimed, “I don't understand,” as he watched in wonder as your baby strongly sucked milk from your nipple. He would claim that he was drinking milk for the first time in his eight months of existence if he didn't know how much he consumed in a day.

“You know, breastfeeding helps a baby and the mother to form a bond,” you said. “Maybe it's not about the milk.”

You couldn't help but feel depressed when you realized your baby was missing something. But it was calming enough to watch Jake relax and get drunk on your milk. Being the mother he needed from you was all you wanted. He expressed his needs even though he was still unable to speak. That was important.

Ben whispered, “Hey,” and kissed your forehead quickly as his hands waited on your baby's chest and chin. “You're doing perfectly. You already have a strong bond. Look at how much he loves you.” 

Jake's sucking stopped, and he mumbled a smile as though he knew what his dad was saying. Ben replied lightheartedly, “I swear, there was not a single teardrop on his eyes while he cried,” and then Ben laughed loudly. Jake lost his ability to suck for a second since he let out a tiny laughter as well, imitating his dad's laugh. 

Jake produced the same sound shortly after Ben's loud laugh, showing that he was having an awesome time. You both laughed when Ben gave him another hard kiss on the head because of the noise he made. Jake grew louder every time Ben spoke to him and played with his little hands and feet, as if he hadn't just been crying hysterically. 

You said, “It seems like you're not hungry anymore, sweetie,” and reached for your blouse, but Jake's lips instantly went to your nipple in a panic and continued to suck hard. 

Ben was delighted as he saw you breastfeed your little one. His brain was full of dirty things, but his heart was full of warmth and love. He sometimes sucked milk from your tits, but you pushed him away and reminded him that you didn't make the milk for him when he was acting aggressively and actually drained your soul from your tits. Now he had to share you with Jake, obviously, and his little son was kind of challenging him. As though he realized that all the milk and both tits were for him alone, his happy gaze never left Ben's. 

“You're trying to make me jealous, aren't you?” Ben whispered and placed one hand around your nipple, close to Jake's tiny mouth. 

When your son's hand immediately met Ben's, he made a sound of displeasure and pushed his father's hand away from your breast. His annoyed and jealous behavior made you laugh heartily. “You're right, sweetie, it's all yours,” you said, pushing Ben's hand away in support of your young son's struggle. “From now on, Daddy won't get any milk.”

“You know what?” As if to irritate your son, Ben smirked and caressed Jake's belly before planting a firm, wet kiss on your lips. “I'm going to suck all the milk tonight,” he muttered. “I'm not a very generous dad, am I?”

“I guess not.”

Ben licked his lips, and you could tell he wanted to take you by the shift in his eyes. The yearning and longing in his eyes were obvious without the use of words. You really needed him. Ben could sense that the way you smelt there. Actually, after your sex life returned to normal, you were feeling really horny, even though you weren't expressing it. Ben felt the same. But you couldn't do anything while Jake had his mind set on staying awake and made sure you and Ben didn't do any funny business.

Jake was upset when he didn't see you, and Ben was outraged when he heard Jake sobbing during the times he was literally inside of you. At these moments, Ben was acting like a child. You had to hold back your laughter when he had to stop between complaints due to Jake's sobbing, as though he was doing it on purpose. 

“It seems like you're not hungry anymore, sweetie,” you said, reaching for your blouse, but Jake's lips instantly went to your nipple in a panic and continued to suck strongly. But finally, his mouth stopped, and his eyes failed him as he fell asleep. He finally quit sucking. How much he could drink without stopping was incredible. 

“He sucked the life out of you,” Ben complained, being impatient already.

Ben grew impatient and complained about his son being a complete cockblocker since every time he tried to remove him from your arms to place him on his bed, his mouth automatically kept sucking your breast. After some while, he didn't want to drink anymore and put himself to sleep, which was a relief. You fixed your blouse while Ben gently lifted him out of your arms and carried him to his room. You felt a little at ease and joyful now, acknowledging Jake didn't hurt you at all, as though he was aware that you were fragile and he was afraid of hurting his mommy.

He was a sensitive, intelligent boy with a slight temper. Of course, mother is the source of intelligence. That was fortunate.

With a sigh of relief, you turned back to the coach and sat down, deciding to handle the kitchen later. Ben returned with careful steps and swiftly settled you on his lap. You gasped in astonishment since you didn't expect him to act so quickly. Even if your physique had changed a little, you were feeling better and more confident because he still loved and desired you.

You put your fingers on his neck and beard and inquired, laughing, “Is he asleep?”

Ben muttered, pressing your body against his hardness in order to show how ready he was to take you: “Yeah.” For a moment, his gaze softened. 

“You know, baby, you performed flawlessly there. Our supe baby is being breastfed with such confidence... It was such a beautiful moment.”

His compliments filled your heart with delight and satisfaction because you knew that now you were doing well and that your mother's instinct was right.

“Oh, yeah?” you said, grinning broadly at him. “How beautiful was I? You know, I'm not very good at making assumptions. You have to tell me.”

Ben's grin grew wide at your lighthearted demeanor, and he bit his lip as his thoughts were racing with filthy ideas of how many positions to take you in on the couch. “Well, I'm not good at forming words, but... so fucking much.”

As you kissed him, you both grinned at one another's mouths. You lovingly stroked his face and neck and said, “We are doing perfect, don't you think?” You were unable to stop touching one another.

Ben took a deep breath and kissed your shoulder while gently, firmly wrapping his powerful arms around your waist. “Just because you're perfect.” 

“Hey,” you murmured, taken aback by his lack of self-esteem at the time. “Without you, I couldn't possibly manage our tiny supe son. You're doing as well as I am. In this, we are on the same team, equal. However, in other places...” You tried to lighten the situation by saying, “Of course, I'm better than you.” 

“I'm sure you are. He's already strong, isn't he?” Ben asked. You laughed at how proud he sounded. He had his attention on observing Jake's abilities. “You must know that he strongly pushed my hands away from you. He literally attacked me.”

“Ben, he's still a baby.” You laughed aloud as you said, “He wouldn't attack you.”

“You keep saying that.” Ben found it funny how much you were enjoying yourself and feeling good. He was relieved that handling your little Supe guy wasn't as challenging as he had thought. 

You yawned abruptly and kept your head on Ben's warm chest while the moment of excitement and happiness gradually gave way to weariness. Ben kissed your forehead, and as soon as his heart was full of understanding, his hardness was already forgotten. He groaned into your hair. “I want to stay like this for some time,” he said. 

“For how much time?” 

“With you, forever and forever.”

AN: That was a one-shot. Please let me know what you think. I hope it's not bad haha.

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[miley1442111]

thank god for dr. spencer reid

a/n: this was written with a fem!reader in mind but imagine what you want, reader has a period (same girl) :) spencer us such a cutie in this :)))))))

summary: your shitty family is in town and spencer is away, what will you do?

pairing: spencerreid x reader

warnings: heavy family issues, mentions of stress and sickness, very brief mention of abuse (litch not talked about just referenced dw), kinda cursing (just realised i've never warned this before... opps) and i might've missed some!

My eyes are glued to the screen with a perpetual frown playing on my lips. It’s hard to try to care about my job when I have this looming feeling of dread hanging over me like a cloud. Spencer has been MIA for days now. He left in a hurry on Monday night for a case. It’s Saturday now and he hasn’t been responding to my calls. On top of that, I have dinner with my mother and father. Both of them make it abundantly clear that they’re disappointed in my career choice, which is ridiculous because I’m a lawyer. Not the right kind of lawyer they constantly say. I’m an environmental lawyer and I make good money. The only way to satiate their insufferable whining is with Spencer. They love him. They probably love him more than me at this point. Alas, I will just have to deal with them alone tonight. And today has already been one hell of a day. First, Morgan called me,asking where Spencer was, telling me that they finished and that they should be home soon. He had not come home yet. Secondly, I feel like shit, an allergic reaction, my period and some random nausea all add up to making me feel itchy, gross, and practically vile all over. Thirdly, a huge pimple has decided to pop up on my face and  just know my mother will comment on it. My mother is one of those women who look effortlessly put-together 24/7. I am not one of those women. She does not like women who don’t look effortlessly put together. Aka, she barely tolerates me. 

I sigh and close my laptop screen, unable to reread the same few sentences again and again, hoping that they would get into my brain. I’m defending a client, one of my firm's biggest clients, in court next week. They were accused of illegal dumping (dumping they did not commit) and now they’re being sued for 2 million dollars. I slump out of my desk chair and out of my home office, locking it behind me for the weekend ahead. If I have court next week and Spencer is coming home after a difficult case, then we’ll need a day or rest and relaxation together. That is, if he even bothers to come home. I busy myself with getting ready and try to push those thoughts out of my head. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The last hour of my life has been 60 minutes of absolute misery. Why did I ever accept this invite? My mother excuses herself to the bathroom and my father excuses himself for a cigarette, I nod along. Then it hits me… my dad doesn’t smoke anymore. I stare at the door and before I can stop myself my face contorts into a frown once again. Amelia, my sister. The sister that I haven't seen in years. The sister that bullied and abused me throughout our teenage years. Fuck. 

“Amelia?” I question, looking at the blonde woman who looks… different. She’s obviously older than I remember, and a bit more… I don’t know how to put it. Her blonde hair surpasses her waist and she seems to be pregnant? Her blue eyes seem dull and lack a certain vividness they used to sparkle with. She’s the typical peaking in high-school mean girl who became a nurse girl. I honestly can’t believe I used to look up to her. 

“It’s so good to see you!” She smiles, one of her fake-bitchy smiles and I grimace as she tries to hug me. “I just wanted to know how you’re doing, especially with the baby on the way, I’ll need all the help I can get!”

My heart drops. “Oh!” Is all I can manage. She sits in the seat beside me and I instinctively move further away. Just as I think this stupid dinner can’t get any worse, her pervy fiancé, Johnny, walks in.

“No Spencer?” He smirks. “What? Did you two break up? He was always too vanilla for you, you need a real man-” 

“No, sorry. I was just late. I had to come straight from the jet,” Spencer smiles from behind him. My parents' eyes light up, as Amelia and Johnny’s faces fall. I smile appreciatively at him as he hands the flowers he brought over to my parents and sits beside me, a comforting hand on my thigh. 

“How’s work, Spencer?” My father asks, his undivided attention on Spencer.

“It’s good, strenuous but good. Our cases recently haven’t been too difficult- though there was one that had a puzzle I thought you might enjoy…”

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I walk inside our house behind him, a million thoughts at once flowing through my head. We walk to the kitchen, he sits me down and takes off my shoes for me, a true gentleman. 

He presses a kiss to my cheek and smiles. “You look beautiful.”

I just nod back, a small smile on my lips. 

“Is everything alright?” He asks, turning to me, his hands resting on my waist. 

“Fine,” I tiredly smile. “Just… you know, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

“You know, saying that makes me worry more, right?:” He smiles softly, though we both know he’s serious. 

“I just… I can’t believe she just showed up, like 7 years  of not seeing her and she just shows up? Like it’s casual? And then asks for our help with her baby? Like she did nothing to me? Like she-” I stop myself, determined not to cry right now. 

“Angel, it’s ok, let it out,” he soothes, a hand on my back, rubbing comforting circles. 

“I don’t want to cry though, they’re not worth crying over.”

“Then how about we get ready for bed, yeah angel?” He offers, a tired look in his eyes. I nod and press a soft to his perfect lips. He smiles against my mouth, his hands finding the sides of my face. I run a hand through his hair. He pulls away softly, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I smile. “Thank you for coming, my knight in shining armour.” 

“I enjoyed it. Watching your father fail to solve a simple puzzle was amusing.” He smirks, a mischievous glint in his eye as I roll my eyes. 

“We’re not all geniuses,” I remind him. 

“You are.”

“And how am I a genius?” I chuckle.

“You’re dating me, you clearly have superior taste and intelligence,” he says matter-of-factly. I gigle at his antics and kiss him again. He pulls away and grabs my hand, leading me into our room. We both opt out of brushing our teeth and washing our faces, a makeup wipe sufficing for removing my makeup. He pulls me into bed with him, and finally, after a long week, I finally lie down in bed with him, his arms around me in a bear-hug of sorts. This is heaven. He’s my knight in shining armour. Thank God for Dr. Spencer Reid. 

[cvtyvvitch]

💗💐✨Pick-A-Card: What Is Next for You in Love?✨💐

💕 Pick an emoji (⚡️, 🌸, or 🌊) for a reading on what is coming next for you in love.

✨ Focus your intention and remain open — if none of the images light up for you, there may not be a message for you in this reading! Alternatively, more than one image might connect with you. As always, trust your intuition and take what resonates, leaving the rest.

⚡️⚡️⚡️

#1 ⚡️ Lightning ⚡️

In French, love at first sight is called ‘coup de foudre’ — a lightning strike. This picture makes my eyes water, and I get a few different impressions off it. First, someone sees you and is completely taken back. This could be someone you have met already and they felt this, but for some it’s happening soon. Someone who literally stops in their tracks and is dazed by you. It’s a frenetic energy, hard to pin down. A bit of the madness that comes with a really intense new crush.

The second option I get is that someone reenters your life very suddenly, a bit of a Tower experience. It feels that things were left unresolved between you, and it’s a situation/feelings that still keeps you up some nights. It’s a feeling like horses straining under a harness and energy built up to the point of explosion. Not a bad feeling per se, but definitely volatile and shocking.

Key words: fire, volcano, out of control, thunder, chewed straws, bitten nails, knock on the door, feet on pavement, midnight, nokia cell phone, unknown caller ID, broken glass, be not afraid, late night gas/petrol station, buzzing silence

PS If you have any feedback, please let me know! Also if you save this reading and notice it being accurate for you, I’d love to hear about it!

🌸🌸🌸

#2 🌸 Pink Flower 🌸

For this group, I get the image of someone picking flowers from the garden for their grandmother. Someone very sweet on the periphery of your life who you know or may get the opportunity to get to know soon. They feel like someone with a lot of responsibility with maybe their family or community, but always find the time for you. Sweet, somewhat shy or quiet energy. Feels like a neighbor, maybe, or a neighbor to someone in your family.

There’s hesitation here, maybe on both ends? I don’t feel major turmoil but just the uncertainty mixed with curiosity that comes with a new person who isn’t obviously mutually interested in you. Friendly without being over flirtatious. The type of person who gives you a bucket of lemons because they’ve had a bunch extra in their backyard.

Keywords: bicycle, farmer’s market, pharmacy, picket fence, down the hall, shy, hedge, grandmother, dahlias, peonies, tuna can, plum

PS If you have any feedback, please let me know! Also if you save this reading and notice it being accurate for you, I’d love to hear about it!

🌊🌊🌊

#3 🌊 Waves 🌊

This connection coming in has a feeling of longing. It feels like a period of missing someone or a time in your life that you know you can’t return to. Grief that feels a little bit difficult to place because it feels like wanting something that even if you got it, things wouldn’t feel the same because you have also changed.

I know that’s not a super happy sounding message, but this is a period where you are asked to deeply reflect on what you loved and feel you’ve lost. Allow yourself to move past the surface of yearning to the deeper questions: why did I have this experience? Where did I learn what I wanted, and what does not truly help me grow and feel safe? It may feel very confusing right now in the face of perceived loss. It’s a murky time you must allow yourself to experience and pass through, but take care not to become trapped by the siren’s song of nostalgia. There is more for you to experience on the other side of this lesson, and a version of yourself waiting to embrace new joy based on a profound understanding of these past disappointing experiences.

Keywords: sighs, mirror, fingers along water, long hair, loneliness, emptiness, nostalgia, despair. Salt, tears, egg yolk, relearning, color, passion, glorious comeback and rebirth

[cozycottagetarot]

How Can You Manifest Your Wishes?

 Notes:

This is not one of my favourite readings, but I hope you find something useful in it!These types of readings are always slightly difficult to keep organise but I tried my best. I'd love to know if you prefer paragraphs or bullet points as well! Shout out to the anon who recommended this reading!

‼️ This reading is in no way shape or form meant to act as or substitute professional advice of any kind. Please use your discretion, think carefully before you act and only take what resonates be it a little, some or none at all. ‼️

This PAC Includes:

This Might Resonate If Your Wish Is...

The Energy You're In

The Energy You Need To Be In

Extended Reading Includes

How Can You Open Yourself Up

What's Working vs What's Not Working

Additional Messages

Dividers From X

Reading Masterlist | Patreon | Paid Readings -- Open 🥂

PILE 1

This Might Resonate If Your Wish Is...

Wishes for a full-life makeover. If it’s a wish (or goal) you feel blocked or burnout pursuing. A wish you keep coming back to or feels like a ‘higher calling’. A wish of the heart. A wish around love (of any kind).

The Energy You're In

It feels like you’re in this bright, playful energy and you’re just absolutely ready to go! You see all the possible laid out before you and you’re getting excited about it. You could be coming out of a rough period and you’re trying to rebuild your sense of positivity. You’re trying to move on to the next version of you. You’re expecting the best (or you should be) and are in this very attractive and magnetic energy right now. You have a card here the Flamingo which is all about fun and the vibes of this section make me think of Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter. The vibe of the music video feels very playful and fun and the line “my give a f*cks are on vacation” reminds me of the energy you're in at the moment. It all feels very warm like I can almost feel the sun on my skin.

HOWEVER, you may be focusing on these possibilities through the eyes of others… living vicariously through others. What I mean by this is viewing people through social media, books, even in person and believing you can do what they do (which is fine) but through their experience or as them rather than you… I hope that makes sense. You may hold onto the super intense aspects of love or pleasure. This can be especially important regarding relationships! I will make a post on this a little later (it’s drafted), but the energy you’re in requires you to take a look at what ‘work’ you’re asking others to do for you. You need to focus on how you’re channeling the vibrant passionate energy you’re embodying at the moment.

The Energy You Need To Be In

As beautiful as your current energy is, you need to slow your roll a little bit here. Yes, hold onto the belief that things are going great for you— but you also need to ground yourself and savour the small moments too. Enjoy ALL the good things… right down to the perfectly crafted beverage. Take chances but double-check your trajectory first. Don’t just rush in, you’re in need of a balance right now. You’re in a phase of transition but divine timing is also at play. However, I feel like if you try to force things then you might end up bringing a 'tower moment' on yourself (if you’re about to panic, relax!) where you’re forced to take a look at what is truly important to you.

Thank you for making it this far! If you're interested in extended reading which includes how you can open yourself up, what's working vs what's not and more then you can check it out here!

PILE 2

This Might Resonate If Your Wish Is...

 Of personal strength. Wishing your wish will come true. Balance. Employment (especially self employment). A wish to remove a known block or a wish for a solution of any kind. Relating to being in between phases. Something that will bring you a sense of safety or stability. Gaining your wings. Wishes involving social connections.

*Relationships are such a strong theme here, but it seems as though it maybe experience from childhood that come up a lot in this reading

The Energy You're In

I think you’re in an energy of waiting and surveying your surroundings... Like when someone’s wounded and retreats to regroup and tend to themselves. Main themes relate to boundaries, relationships and self care. You’re trying to find allies but I think it’s a little bit hard right now. Very analytical mind, trying to determine what stays and what goes. Things are definitely shifting and you’re just kind of keeping to yourself. Communication is such a big thing for you here. I feel like you’re really just on the sidelines taking things slow. You want to ally with others but you need to tend to yourself first or at least that’s your focus right now. You’re mainly in an energy of taking stock it seems… on alert in changing circumstances. You might be ruminating on how you communicate with others? There’s a suggest to look at how you experienced communication growing up? You might be stuck in your head… seeing “people” as not safe.

Idk guys, like are you good? Usually Pile 3 is the one that messes with me but the energies here feel sooo off. Kind of wondering if you're fatigued, hung up over someone even? Not necessarily romantically but someone who was/is supposed to have your back and you’re just hitting a wall or something at the moment. The energy literally disappearaed once I moved onto the energy you need to be in so take that as a positive sign!

If it ain’t me — Dua Lipa kept coming to me and disco balls stood out from the cards.

The Energy You Need To Be In

I feel like you need to be in an energy where, yes you’re surveying/assessing your surroundings, but you have to get up and do so instead of sitting around. You need to take action and expand your horizons. Be bold and go for it... I think you’ve got what you need. The consistent message is that doing nothing is not an option. Take a chance on what will fulfill your desires. Accepting endings is important and being able to move on. Allow yourself to transition to a fresh start.

Consider your image and how you show up as/interact with authority. Leadership. Especially emotional leadership. Parenting oneself and/or setting the example for how you want others to treat you. Create a safe home ‘base’ (internal or external) but don’t get stuck in it. Maybe ask yourself what creates home? Makes you feel safe/secure? You also could need to take a look at sibling relationships or any with a sibling like dynamic and factor in how you those affect how you show up is important to look at too. I think this could relate to blocks. But you need to place your roots first and then explore.

Trust yourself and make a move. Focus on your strengths and believe that you have gathered enough data to move forward. Structure and strategy are going to be your friends. Honor those ‘above’ you but hold onto your power. Set boundaries and hold other accountable (and yourself too).

Thank you for making it this far! If you're interested in extended reading which includes how you can open yourself up, what's working vs what's not and more then you can check it out here!

PILE 3

This Might Resonate If Your Wish Is...

Travel, adventure, family, community, friendships/found family, creative projects, diving intervention, exploring new interest, work-life balance.

The Energy You're In

Closing out cycles and actively transforming. Seeking out messages from the divine. You're open to receiving messages and guidance. Very calm and zen feeling. Maybe feeling like you're going through or have recently gone through a rebirth. You're ready to make moves. Strong willed. "What do you want to do?" is a question that should be potentially on your mind if it's not. Taking inspired action. Bring play into your life/how can you do so? This can even apply to relationships. Healing. Compare and contrasting how past events influence you and if how you're showing up matches your intentions. Heavy on the "level up" energy but this is a kind you're actively seeking. Exploring relationships, mentorships, ideas. Leaning on love ones. Generally being in good vibes.

Feels like a combination of pile 1 and 2 so if you were drawn to one of those as well I recommend checking them out.

This also feels like a very spiritual pile? I'm not sure how describe it but I kept saying 'the Universe' alot while I was doing this reading so of course just adjust it to whatever suits you and your belief best! 

The Energy You Need To Be In

It's slightly hard to organise the messages here. There's a need to ground yourself. Don't stop working on healing, but also maintain your stability. Expansion & communication. Abundance is coming in. Remember you're worthy of abundance and your manifestation skills are heightened. Big things are coming for you. Expanding your perspective as well. Where do you need to speak up? You can and should try to lean on others. Open your heart... you don't have to have an armored heart. Cultivate your wishes, the things you want to grow. Nurture your wishes and your heart. Make sure you're clear on what you want to manifest. Keep your motivation up by focusing on short term steps. Look to mentors for guidance.

Thank you for making it this far! If you're interested in extended reading which includes how you can open yourself up, what's working vs what's not and more then you can check it out here!

PILE 4

This Might Resonate If Your Wish Is...

Nostalgia. Happiness. Needing motivation. Heavily charged emotional wishes. Something relating to others… not necessarily currently though. Like a wish that was formed because of someone years ago. If you have a vision board. Looking for a break. Or for a break to end. A wish where you’ve heard divine timing is at play. Direction. A waiting period to be over. Trying to break something you know isn’t good for you.

Pay attention to words, phrases or songs that come up often.

The Energy You're In

You’re very guarded. You’re wanting to break away from whatever is just weighing on you and you’re working hard at it but at the same time I feel like you just won’t let go??? Despite you working to break the chains or get a move on, it feels like they’re never ending but they are ending!! Don’t be fooled by appearances.

I think you’re very future focused and all about recreating yourself (I heard in entirety). You’re trying to expand your pov and I feel also kind of just nurture yourself internally. Very introspective trying to figure out who you are and what you want to do or who you want to be.

The Energy You Need To Be In

I didn’t really get anything specifically about money regarding wishes but I think it at least revolves around some kind of stability heavily. You need to be walking away from what isn’t serving you. Realise that you can create just about anything right now... anything goes.

You need to be doing what’s best for you regardless of if you hate it. Your day to day life is super important. I don’t know if rainbows are important to you but also I’m feeling like you need to fill your life with colour too. You need to become clear on resources and what they mean to you such as money, you body, other material possessions etc. get your financial life together. Do some deep cleaning. Like normally these readings are a matter of mindset and mental work but this pile feels very physical. Beautify your life and make it aesthetically pleasing without breaking the bank. How can you use art as well to make a masterpiece out of your feelings? How can you make your day to day life more enjoyable?

Thank you for making it this far! If you're interested in extended reading which includes how you can open yourself up, what's working vs what's not and more then you can check it out here!

[uceyliyahh]

Summary; After her difficult breakup, Tiana wanted to start anew with her life. That's when she realized her life would be better when she met him.

This fanfic is 18+! NO MINORS ALLOWED

word count: 3783

Smut warning; it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I’m improving at the moment.

Jey Uso X Tiana

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

But I’ll be writing along the way since this story is in my drafts on Wattpad right now so yuh 💁🏽‍♀️

TAGS⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tagged 🏷️

@paigereeder @pinkwithhearts @jstarr86

1.

Have you ever thought about running away? And starting somewhere new? Having a fresh start with things, especially having a promising career?

Tiana was doing that, starting somewhere fresh, living with her best friend Bianca in Cali after her messy breakup with Malakai when she saw him cheat on her with someone she knew.

But she wasn't worried about that man. She stood her ground while focusing on her career as a Nail Tech, getting her money's worth so she could have a place of her own.

She did the dumbest thing ever: She got this man tatted on the side of her right ear. Bianca convinced her to cover it with something pretty.

But she didn't know any tattoos around here; only Bianca did. She contacted a tattoo shop near them and scheduled an appointment.

OMNISCIENT

Tiana was finishing up with her last client of the day before shutting down the shop. She had a tattoo appointment afterward, so she wanted to get this done before she was late.

She focused on her clients' nails as she applied the last few bits of gems to their nails while turning on the curing light and placing their hands under the light.

Her phone beeped as she saw Bianca texting her, probably about her appointment at the tattoo shop.

Breezy💁🏽‍♀️: Tianaaaaa wyd girrrl?

Tiana: I'm finishing up my last client before heading to my appointment today.

Tiana: are you sure they're like legit? Bc if I get a fucked up cover-up, I'm going to kill you. 😀

Breezy: yesssss lele they're legit like this man owns the business chile. 😐

Tiana: oh fr?

Breezy: yes T

Tiana: do they have an Instagram page showing their artwork?

Breezy: yeah, I'll send it to you on Instagram.

Tiana: okay, girly, I'll text you later.

Breezy: bye, girl.

She turned off the curing light as her client looked at her nails with a smile on her face; she was satisfied with her results. Her client knew that Tiana was the shit when It came to doing nails.

Tiana instructed her to take a pose with her hands to show off her nails so she could post it on her IG story. She started doing nails when she was sixteen years old. Her mom and stepdad helped her with everything, and she was very grateful for that because look at her now.

biancabelairwwe replied to your story: ouuuuu girl them are honestly cute asf.

sheloveemma replied to your story: BOOK ME NEXT NOW!

ughitsstacy replied to your story: girl, I LOVE THEM! PERIOD!

shelovekai replied to your story: damn, mama, you snapped.

She looked at Malakai's reply to her story as she just rolled her eyes; she could've sworn she had blocked that man she didn't want nun' to do with his toxic ass; her client paid her with an extra tip due to how much she loved the nails as she told her goodbye.

Tiana smiled at the woman as she went to lock the door, getting ready to sanitize everything before her appointment. She was wiping down her equipment and the table with a warm rag, making sure that everything was cleaned and that she wasn't missing any spots.

She checked the time on her Apple Watch, seeing that she had to leave for her appointment to get this nigga name covered up due to the simple fact that she got tired of seeing it every single time she took pictures.

Tiana did one last check around the place, making sure that everything was back to where it was, before grabbing her purse and turning off the lights as she headed back towards her 2017 BMW.

She entered her car by shutting the door behind her, grabbing her keys as she put them in the ignition, and pressing the button to start it up.

She applied lip gloss on her lips and began pulling out the driveway towards the tattoo shop.

✧.*

Tiana pulled up towards the tattoo shop, turning off her car while grabbing her purse. As she entered the place, she looked around the area. She saw the shop's very cultured aesthetic, and the smell of the place seemed so refreshing to her.

She noticed that two other people were sitting at the reception table on their phones. Since it wasn't that busy today, she walked up to them, and they both looked at her.

"Hello, ma'am. I'm Kiara. What can I help you with?" Kiara asked.

"Hi, I'm here for an appointment at 3:50," Tiana said as she pulled out her phone to show them her appointment.

"Ah, you're Miss Tiana?"

She nodded her head yes as she patiently waited while clinging onto her purse.

"And you're here for a cover-up?" She asked.

"Yes, I am." She saw the woman nod her head as she looked up at her.

"Okay, you're set, ma'am. Please have a seat. He will be right with you."

"Thank you," Tiana said as she sat down in the chair.

She was scrolling through her IG, seeing people had liked her story that she had posted an hour ago. Replying to people who responded to her story, she saw a text pop up, so she scrolled down to see who it was. It was Malakai from an unknown number since Tiana blocked him.

Weirdo: mamas, can you unblock me, please? I promise I've changed.

Tiana: Kai you finna get blocked again leave me aloneeee

Weirdo: you know that you're mines forever.

Tiana: tuh in your dreams nigga bye.

Tiana rolled her eyes while proceeding to block his new number. She was thinking, 'nigga probably using WhatsApp or TextNow to get new numbers.' While she was doing that, her eye caught something as she saw a man getting his equipment out.

She tried to make out his features but couldn't due to the door being closed. She would have to wait until she got in that chair, but she went back to scrolling through her Instagram.

Breezy: bestieee are you at your appointment?

Tiana: yeah, I'm here.

Breezy: good cuz Ik your ass would've forgot I'm so glad you're getting that shit covered.

Tiana: yeah, me too tired of seeing that shit.

Breezy: do you like the shop?

Tiana: yeah, I love the aesthetic of it, and it smells good.

Breezy: seee I told you I got'chu girl.

As she was texting away, she pulled her head up and saw the same man standing at the door, waiting patiently for her until Kiara said something to her.

"Excuse me, miss, but you can come in now," Kiara said.

Tiana nodded her head yes, grabbed her purse, and walked past the specimen while sitting on the chair. She placed her bag on the table next to her.

She looked up at the fine specimen, finally making out his features, and boy, was he fine as hell. He was wearing some sweats with a black graphic shirt, and his shoe game was on point. Of course, he had a mullet and ear piercings on both sides of his ears.

His toned muscular body, along with his Tanned skin and salt/pepper beard, it wouldn't be rude to her if she kept eye fucking him while he was getting ready.

"You getting a cover-up?" Josh spoke, breaking the silence.

'Damn, his voice was deep as hell.'

"U-um, yeah, I am around my ear, " she said, noticing that she was stumbling on her words.

It caused him to chuckled a little bit while looking at her face, "You ain't gotta be nervous around me, Princess Ion' bite." She was taken aback for a second. 'Princess?' Well, she hadn't heard that nickname before. Is he always like this with his clients?

Tiana shook off the feeling as he pulled out some designs to show her, to see which one she liked better. She looked at his designs and was amazed at his artwork; it was perfect.

But one design caught her eye. It just looked so beautiful: two butterflies with a cross between them.

"I like this one; it caught my eye," Tiana said as she smiled.

He nodded his head as he took the design that she wanted behind her cover-up.

He pulled the chair towards her and reclined it back a bit so that she could be comfortable. He put on some black gloves while grabbing the tattoo pen.

"Can you turn your head for me, mama? " he asked. She nodded yes and turned her head to the side.

He started working on the cover-up behind her ear. He noticed that a male's name was tatted behind her ear. He had a smug expression on his face.

"So you got a name tattooed on you?"

Not trying to be in her business, but was trying to be in her business.

"Yeah, I got this lame ass nigga tatted on me that I was with for a while until he did some messed up shit, so my bestie decided to hook me up." She said while being still.

"Hm, how long was yall together?" He asked while focusing on the tattoo.

"We were together for like two, almost three years, maybe?"

He smacked his teeth and shook his head in disappointment. " That's a horrible mistake to get someone's name tatted on you. I heard it was bad luck." She wanted to smack him upside the head but couldn't.

"Don't put that on me, sir. I want no back luck," Tiana said as Josh snickered at her.

"It's not funny, you bozo." He rolled his eyes at her while continuing to do his work behind her ear.

They were back into complete silence again, and she kept hearing the needle buzzing in her ear like some type of fly buzzing around her.

She kept thinking about her relationship with Malakai. It became so toxic for her that she couldn't even deal with his ass anymore after she found out he cheated on her.

Tiana felt like she wasn't going to find love again because she was afraid of the outcome, so she kept her guard up around men, especially the ones who tried to holla at her.

"Who's your best friend?" Josh asked her.

"Her name is Bianca. She told me she comes here often, " she replied while continuing to talk on her phone.

"Ohhhh yeah I know her, I did some designs on her not too long ago."

Tiana nodded her head, listening to him talk. His voice seemed to soothe her because it was so deep and raspy, almost making her sleepy, as she yawned a bit while rubbing her eyes.

He took notice of that, "Long day, I'm assuming?"

"Yeah, I'm just hella tired. I'm not going to lie to you." She said.

He just hummed in agreement as he was finishing up her tattoo while turning off his tattoo pen; Jey had sprayed some alcohol on wet paper towel as he wiped behind her ear, causing her to hiss in pain.

Jey snickered at her reaction as she glared at him, throwing his hands up in defense.

"Aye, you wanted this, not me." He said.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. How much do I owe you?" Tiana responded as she pulled her wallet out of her purse.

"It's on me, ma; don't worry about it." She looked up at him with a confused expression, which had her thinking to herself, 'What does he mean about that?' Tiana put her wallet back inside her purse as Jey gave her a mirror to check out her new tattoo.

She turned her head a bit to see it, moving her ear to the side to see its design.

"Omg, this is really bomb as fuck." Tiana said.

"Thank you. I mean, they say I'm the best, better than my cousin, no shade or nun." She snickered at his comment as he reclined her chair upwards while she stood up to fix herself.

"Lemme get a quick pic so I can post it on my story." He said.

Tiana knew she was good with poses, so she turned her head to the side, showing off her cover-up tattoo. Jey took a quick picture of it before putting his phone down.

"Thank you; I appreciate it. I never got your name; my fault," Tiana said while monitoring his face.

"My name is Joshua, but people close to me call me Jey or Josh for short—whatever floats your boat, mama." Jey replied.

"I'm Tiana, by the way."

Jey thought to himself for a second while looking at her features deeply. she was a pretty girl that's fahso, and her personality seemed bubbly almost?'Whoever fumbled her cute ass is so unlucky now I'm finna be all up in that.'

"Tiana, huh? That's a cute name for a pretty girl like you; lemme me get your number, lil' mama," He said bluntly as she rolled her eyes at him while he gave her his phone.

He watched her type her phone number in while she gave him back his phone. They stood there in silence as they looked at each other until her gaze shifted towards her buzzing phone.

He watched her walk out his suite as he kept stealing glances at her ass; he knew that thang was thang in that one piece that she had on.

It was almost like he was fascinated with her in some way when they literally just met each other today; maybe it was her features that got him feeling like this with her.

But he had shaken them thoughts outta his head cleaning his equipment up.

✧.*

TIANA

I finally made it home. I parked my car in the driveway right next to Bianca's, turned off the ignition, grabbed my purse, and closed the car door behind me.

As I was walking in the house, I heard moaning and groaning upstairs, which made me realize that Montez was taking Bianca to Pound Town, which I personally did not want to hear.

I went upstairs towards my bedroom while shutting the door behind me as I took off my shoes throwing them on my shoe rack sighing in relief I really did hate being on my feet especially sitting on my ass too.

I fumbled onto my nice, comfortable bed and hugged the pillows until I felt my phone buzz. I thought it was Kai texting me again from a different number, so I went to see who was texting me.

'An unknown number ofc.'

Unknown number: did you make it home safe, princess?

Tiana: who dis?

Unknown number: Did you forget already? You were just here a couple of hours ago, girl.

I had to think about it for a minute since I tend to forget sometimes. The caller ID wanted to FaceTime me, of course. I hung up quickly because I didn't know who this person was until that person called again.

I rolled my eyes. While answering the FaceTime call, she saw a familiar face. That's when it clicked to her: It was Joshua from the tattoo shop.

FACETIME

Jey: now, do you remember?

Tiana: yeah, yeah boy now what'chu want?

Jey: I just wanted to make sure you drove home safe. That's all, princess.

Him and these damn puppy names was going to be the death of me; never had I experienced being called princess like I'm some princess from England or sum.

I placed my phone down on top of my dresser while unzipping my one-piece. This shit was killing me today felt like I couldn't breathe. As I was doing that, I proceeded to wobble my ass outta the one piece hearing Josh snickering.

Tiana: The fuck is funny nigga?

Jey: you, you is funny as hell wobbling like that shawty.

Tiana: Man fuck you, it was really tight.

Jey: mhm

I just rolled my eyes at him and gave him the middle finger. Finally, I got out of one piece and threw it in the dirt bin next to my bookshelf. 'Yes, I read, yes, I'm a nerd.' I was in my underwear while digging through my drawer for some comfortable clothing.

I felt his gaze through the phone, but I didn't speak on it, not understanding why I was getting comfortable with being half-naked on FaceTime with this man I barely knew.

Jey: damn, mama, you got a dump trunk back there.

Tiana: are you flirting with me right now sir?

Jey: maybe, maybe not. I'm just calling it what it is, princess.

Tiana: call me that again imma

Jey: or what?

I ignored him while getting fully naked in front of him and grabbing my towel that was nearby so that I could cover my body until I headed to the bathroom.

Tiana: I'm going to go shower, so I'm going to hang up now.

Jey: nooo, take me with'chu

Tiana: why so? Can you look at my ass or what?

Jey: nah I just wanted to stay on the phone with'chu.

Tiana: sigh ight then whatever you want dawg.

I took my phone with me to the bathroom. As I sat down on the counter table, making it look up at the ceiling, I heard him smack his teeth.

Jey: aye, yo ass betta get me up from looking at this ceiling.

Tiana: my fault, dawg. Lemme fix that for ya.

He seemed pretty annoyed when I did that, but I found it amusingly funny seeing him annoyed at my actions. Meanwhile, I unraveled my towel from my body as I headed inside the shower.

Jey: what do you do?

Tiana: I own my nail tech shop, so I do people's nails and get good tips.

Jey: Fr shawty? shi imma have to pull up to get a manicure from you.

Tiana: I can definitely send you the address to the place.

Jey: Bet that up fasho

✧.*

After taking a nice long shower, I was downstairs cooking me something to eat for dinner while still being on Facetime with Joshua. He was playing the game with his brothers, hollering and screaming at each other like some dogs. I noticed that Bianca came downstairs and came towards me to see what I was cooking.

"Ouuu girl what'chu cooking?" She asked.

"I'm cooking me some chicken in the air fryer along with some rice. I made extra for you and Montez, so y'all can eat after that session y'all had." I said while letting the rice sit.

"Omg, I love you so much, bestie, but who's that on the phone?"

"Oh, that's Joshua."

Her face looked perplexed for a minute, then it clicked, so she put a smirk on her face as I gave her a stern expression, thinking, 'I know this girl isn't going to try to hook me up with this man.'

"B, no, I'm not doing this with'chu tonight, chile." I said.

"C'monn, lele Joshua is a really cool ass person, bro, and then he'll be the first Samoan man you dated." She commented.

Jey: I know that's right, what's up Bianca!

Tiana: Shut the hell up sir

Jey: No need to be rude lil' mama

Bianca covered her mouth after he called me that. This girl is so dramatic. I swear. After finishing cooking the food, I sat down at the table while setting up my phone, and I began eating while watching Joshua play the game.

It looked like he was playing Call Of Duty. He seemed pretty good at the game, but his attention was now on me as his eyebrows furrowed a bit.

Jey: What'chu eating, pretty girl?

Tiana: I made some chicken and rice.

Jey: you ain't gon' share it?

'tf he mean was I going to share it?'

Tiana: Um, no, I wasn't planning on it. Also, how the hell am I supposed to share this with' chu, sir?

Jey: never heard of pretending?

'ight he don't gotta be smart about it.'

Tiana: I guess I can share with'chu then you look like you've been starving sir so here boy.

He smiled like a cute puppy as I pretended to give him some of my food while he pretended to eat it. It was kind of cute and funny, and we both chuckled at each other while gazing into each other's eyes. For a second, I could read his facial expression well until Bianca said something.

"Aww, y'all two look cute, girl. Honestly, y'all would be the cutest couple." Bianca said as I rolled my eyes at her.

"Girl, please don't start" I said while continuing to eat.

"Don't be denying it now, lele; you two will end up fucking each other sooner or later and then be a happy couple." I almost choked on my food when she said that, especially while I was on the phone with this man.

I could sense him smirking through the phone as he continued to play the game, and I knew he had just heard what she had said. I'm not going to lie. He was fine as hell, but I don't know where his energy is at right now.

After eating dinner, I made sure I washed my plate and put it in the dishwasher before going upstairs to my bedroom, closing the door behind me and yawning.

Jey: you finna go to sleep?

Tiana: yeah, I'm tired

Jey: What'chu doing tomorrow?

Tiana: I have like four clients tomorrow, then after that, I should be free. Why?

Jey: You wanna go out for lunch or sum

'I don't know where he's getting at with this but I like it.'

Tiana: yeah, sure, that sounds good.

Jey: Ight bet I'll see you tomorrow then.

Tiana: Goodnight Josh.

Jey: Night, mamas.

Under Your Touch.

biancabelairwwe, shelovesemma, shelovekai and 58,999 people liked your post.

tianasworld: he fixed me up quick i love it so much. 😍

biancabelairwwe: that's so cuteee I didn't even notice it I'm so happy you got it covered.

shelovesemma: 🫢 you got his name covered?

tianasworld: @ shelovesemma yeah girl I did got tired of seeing it.

shelovekai: wtf tiana 😠

tianasworld: @ shelovekai don't wtf to me nigga you might as well do the same thing. 🙎🏽‍♀️

A/N: welcome to a new storyyyy I honestly wanted to try something different and I got some inspiration from a story I read on tumblr so I hope yall enjoy this one.

Lmk in the comments below ⬇️ love yall.

Stay Ucey.

[tabbedtabby]

good luck, babe! | chapter 2

regina george x reader

summary: After the Queen Bee of North Shore makes up rumors about you taking pictures of girls in the changing room, you decide to take matters into your own hands. You didn’t think that would mean coming to a reluctant agreement with Regina George.

a/n: i wasn’t gonna add cady but now i am because it’s convenient for me so just pretend she’s in the last chapter lol. also they get high way faster than what’s accurate but i wrote this in like 4 sittings it felt longer to me pls spare me. if the picture collage thing is ugly i’m sorry i’m not a tumblr native 😭 but anyways big thanks to everyone who interacted with the first chapter mwah!!!!! (photo creds from left to right: @/mediorcesav on insta, @/marvelsgirl616, casual mv by chappell roan)

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When the bell rings after 7th period, you’re already halfway out the door.

You’re already sober enough from earlier so you’re desperate to get outside, even if Regina will be there. You bite the inside of your mouth in annoyance. You like your after school alone time; you didn’t want the person who literally ruined your social life to be there. At least maybe she’ll leave right after you smoke. You realize she most likely won’t after you remember she drives. How could you forget that bedazzled orange Jeep?

You feel the dappled sunlight sink heat into your skin once you enter the woods behind the baseball field. It really was a nice day. You make your way to your usual spot and lift up the pile of sticks and leaves that hide your forest stash. The guy who sells to you charges a ridiculous amount for carts compared to just the plant so you try to use them sparingly. Even if this shit stinks up the whole forest.

You’re not sure if Regina will care or not if you start without her, so you pull out your phone to pass the time. Besides, you want to be sober anyway when she finally shows.

After about 20 minutes of standing there, you start to get impatient. You almost pull the bag out to start without her before you finally see a flash of blonde hair from behind the trees.

“Took you long enough.” you mutter, already opening the bag without paying Regina much attention. Your patience was windeled, and you don’t especially want to talk to her anyway.

“Sorry I have a social life. I guess you wouldn’t know,” she snaps back, her voice strained.

You feel the annoyance crawl down your back like a centipede, and you have to bite the inside of your mouth to stop yourself from saying something back to her. She holds basically your life in her hands since you’d be both fucked and poor if she decided to snitch on you. Probably not a good idea to start a fight on the first day of your little deal, but she made it difficult.

You grab one of the cans from under the pile of leaves as you see Regina cross her arms a couple feet away from you. Her eyes watching your every move makes you a bit wary on instinct. You feel like a mouse being stalked by a snake. You grab a decently sized piece out of the bag and put it on the crushed can. You couldn’t be bothered to roll your own blunts, so this was the next best thing.

“How much have you smoked before?” you ask, just wanting a general idea on how much she should have so that you wouldn’t have to drag her to the parking lot. Apparently, she takes great offense.

“What are you, my mom? Just hurry up so I can get out of here,” she says begrudgingly, like being out here was the biggest possible drag on her life. She was really grating on your last nerve right now.

“Trying my best.” you respond dryly, giving her a snide smile as you fiddle with the lighter.

“Well, obviously it’s not good enough. What are you even doing, anyway? This is the shadiest shit I’ve ever seen—”

You blow the first hit out of your mouth harshly. “Can you please just shut the fuck up? I don’t want to be out here with you either!”

“That’s shocking. I’m surprised this isn’t your ultimate wet dream, being alone in the forest with me,” Regina sneers, nothing but disgust on her face. Like you were some kind of animal instead of human.

“What’s that going off of? The photo collection that you made up?” you snap, putting the can down for a minute. “Believe me, I want nothing to do with you either. But since we’re gonna be out here every day, you could at least make it a little easier.”

You can tell she wants to rip your throat out just by the way she looks at you. Pursed lips, downturned eyebrows, piercing blue eyes surrounded by eyeliner almost as sharp as the look she’s giving you right now. She’s way too tense for someone about to get high.

“Whatever.” she finally says, although the edge to her voice makes you want to scoff. Better not to sour her mood more than necessary, though.

Pleased with the newfound silence, you light the piece on top of the can once more and take another hit. It’s strong enough to make you cough, and you sit down against the foot of a tree. Regina raises an eyebrow at you.

“I thought you were supposed to be some kind of professional,” she says, but her voice isn’t quite as taunting as before. It almost sounded like a joke. Maybe she was considering not making this hell for you after all.

“It’s not good if it doesn’t make you cough.” you respond with a shrug. She looks at you expectantly, but you pretend you don’t see. You don’t want to have to stand back up just to pass her the can.

Eventually, she sits next to you (albeit, begrudgingly) and you pass the can to her, lighting it again when she puts her lips up to it. She explodes into a coughing fit the minute the smoke hits her lungs.

You can’t help but snicker at the sight of Regina George coughing her lungs out with just one hit from the can. It was almost strange to see her not perfectly arranged the way she was at school. You were up close enough to see the strings that sew her together.

She glares at you from the corner of her eye, but it only makes you laugh harder. You’re acting stupid right now and you’re aware of it, but you can’t stop. It’s a nice sort of high. Not like when you smoke too much and everything starts to blur together, which happens more than you’d like to admit. But this is nice. You lean back until your back touches the grass.

Regina has a couple more hits until she’s smoked about everything that’ll come out of it, and you both just lay there on the forest floor. You’re surprised she isn’t whining about dirt getting on her outfit. Maybe she’s too stoned to care. She never did answer your question about her tolerance.

Your thoughts go elsewhere as you stare up at the sky. The tops of the trees cover most of it. The sun from behind the leaves make them look almost as if they are glowing. It’s so beautiful. You wish you could reach up and feel it between your own fingertips, the fabric of the sky.

“You don’t care about what I think about you.” You hear Regina say, her voice only a couple of feet away from you. It sounds more like a statement than a question.

You don’t why it’s funny to you, but it is. You feel the laugh escape your lips before you can stop it.

“I guess not.” you respond, even though you’re not certain if she wanted a response. It sounded like she was just thinking out loud. You feel that.

“Everyone else does. They grovel to me like lap dogs.” she says amusingly, although her voice drags and you can tell she’s starting to get tired.

“You don’t like it?” you ask with surprise.

“It’s the way it should be,” she declares, as if you’re stupid for even asking. “But everyone else is a less hot version of me. It gets annoying talking to the same clones that hang onto my every word. Like, just be normal for once in your life,” Regina complains, an annoyed edge in her tone near the end. Somehow you could tell she was talking about Gretchen. That poor girl really did hang onto every little thing Regina said or did. It was almost worshipful. But in an unfortunate, sad kind of way.

Her problems didn’t seem all that hard compared to others, but you don’t say anything. It’s intesting to you to hear her talk about this stuff, to see what goes on in her head. You’d never really considered what her life was like. You wonder if there’s a reason she’s the way that she is. There must be. Everyone’s a product of their environment in some shape or form. Of course, it doesn’t excuse everything she’s done, but that thought makes you want to get inside her head somehow.

You shake your head at the silly train of thought. Regina George was just plain mean. Nothing more to it. You turn your head to look at her as you realize you never responded.

Her eyes are closed, hair splayed out on the forest ground. She looks stoned as fuck, her chest rising and falling dangerously slow. You snort and roll your eyes. How low was her tolerance? You already felt mostly normal again.

Somehow she still manages to look perfect, even if you could mistake her as a corpse. You lay your head back down. Your parents wouldn’t mind if you were home a little late, right?

-

After that, you and Regina would meet to smoke behind the school almost every day, except when Regina had plans with her friends and you would just go alone. You still wish she wasn’t there, but sometimes she’s okay to talk to when she isn’t being a priss. She complains about her friends and boys and how sometimes in the morning her eyelash curler refuses to work. It’s entertaining to hear about how shallow her problems are. You still want to punch her most of the time, though.

This time around, however, she’s complaining about math. Something about her teacher failing her on purpose or something to make her have sex with him to get her grade up. You seriously doubt that’s true, but you listen anyway.

“Like, he’s totally obsessed with me. I know how to do the work, but he always marks it as wrong anyway. That Cady girl helps me with it, and she’s some kind of math freak.” Regina exclaims, taking a huge hit from the smoking can. She immediately sputters and you take the can back from her with a slight roll of your eyes. That’s probably enough for her.

“Is she, though?” you ask, taking a hit from the can yourself. “She’s in my Calc class and lately she’s been doing really shitty. I guess you guys are rubbing off on her,” you say with amusement.

Regina takes a deep breath, an agitated sigh coming out of her. “What’s the point of her tutoring me, then? They’re gonna take me off the soccer team if I don’t start passing like all of my classes. It’s like she wants me to fail.” she seethes, and she sounds genuinely upset. She could afford to pay attention in class instead of doing her makeup if better grades is what she wants, but alas.

You kind of want to offer to help her, but it’s her own fault so you bite your tongue. You put the can down with a sharp sigh. You’d rather not smoke too much around her in fear that you’ll start acting stupid and she’ll post it all over the internet. Just the slightly more giggly high is fine for now.

Regina stares bullets through you as your stash back under the pile of leaves. You pick up your backpack and get ready to leave. You feel fine enough to walk home.

“You’re not gonna offer to help me?” she asks indignantly, as if you owed it to her. You have to bite your lip to keep from groaning in annoyance. Could she be any more of a spoiled brat?

“Why would I do that?” you respond, feeling that your distaste seeps through your voice as well as your expression. You’re tired, both from school and from hanging out with Regina for too long. You just want to go home.

“Because I’m keeping your secret?” she says with that tone that reminds you of a viper. The one she uses to get whatever she wants from people by threatening to ruin them. Your chest bubbles with that same anger as that day in the cafeteria.

“Dude, I’m literally your plug. I’ve done enough for you to keep your mouth shut.” you snap, slinging your backpack over your shoulder. She was really starting to piss you off. That’s how it was with Regina; just when you think she’s all right, she starts doing this bullshit again.

“So what? I don’t need weed. I can break our deal whenever I want. Besides, you’ll only tutor me until the end of the month. It’s not that deep.” It’s only the beginning of October, so you’d be wasting more of your time with her for the next month, but of course she doesn’t include that. God, you’re so pissed off, but what can you do? Not be able to smoke anymore? Get suspended again? You hate that she can just hang this over your head until you comply. You bite your lip hard enough to draw blood as you stare at her, one of her hands on her hip and her eyebrows raised as if you’re a dog she just told to heel that won’t listen. Your hands bunch into tight fists until your knuckles turn white. You really wish you had seen her with that bruise right about now.

“Fine.” you spit, pushing your way out of the clearing and back towards the school. Great. Now it would take even longer to shake Regina off. You shoulder branches of leaves out of your way, your feet kicking at the dirt. You wished she could just be fucking normal and that she never started any of this in the first place.

“I better see you tomorrow, loser!” You hear Regina scream from somewhere behind you. God, you were gonna kill her. Or yourself. Whichever came first.

[jexnkookie]

The Law of Attraction (Lawyer! Jung Kook x Reader) [Part 9]

Story Synopsis: Throughout his life, Jung Kook has only ever loved one girl. Despite her being out of his league and of an elite class that he wasn't born into, he fell hard, keeping his feelings a closely guarded secret. When they parted ways, and Jung Kook pursued his law career, he did so with the intent of moving on. But when she unexpectedly arrives back into his life, Jung Kook finds himself once again face to face with his own insecurities, and the girl of his dreams.

Story Rating: M (18+) [Language, sex, depression, alcoholism]

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut

Characters/Pairings: Lawyer! Jung Kook x Reader (feat. Jimin x Reader)

Chapter Word Count: 2.1k

Taglist: @cassies-cookies @crisle19 @dream-cvtcher @jimincrystal @jksusawife @jk-190811 @khadeeeeej @kooklovee @lalataegi @lallataegi @mukeovernetflix @rispwn @shellyyy177 @smoljimjim @taetaecatbo @user-190811 @whoa-jo @11thenightwemet11

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Series Masterlist

“Alright, let’s get started.” 

The buzzing fluorescent lights in the closed room were annoying to Jimin’s eyes, but he sat still and focused on the woman in front of him, who introduced herself as Wendy, rather than going by Dr. Moore. Her short, red-painted nails stayed locked around a ball-point pen, ready to scribble notes on her yellow notepad. Her glasses fell to the bottom of her nose, and her black hair with grey at the roots revealed her older age. Jimin wasn’t sure why he felt so nervous. This is what he signed up for, after all; to learn whyhe has a problem, so he can stophaving a problem. He kept reminding himself that you’d be proud right now as he sat on the small sofa of her office, getting comfortable among the piles of pillows.

“Ok.” He responded. Every inch of his body revealing the reservations he had. 

“Can you share a bit about why you’re here?” Wendy invited him to speak. 

“I drink a lot. Sometimes.” Jimin said shyly. 

“Ok,” She said warmly. “Did something happen while you were drinking that brought you here?” 

“Yes.” He answered, nervously playing with the fabric of his sleeves. “I fought with my fiancé, Y/N, in our hotel room and I….” 

It was a struggle for him to admit. The memories of crying, broken glass from his phone, the way you looked so scared of him all replayed in my mind, haunting him.

“It’s ok.” Wendy said. “Please, take your time.” 

“Thank you. I… I threw my phone, not really at her but at the wall behind her. The screen shattered, and it scared her, so she called someone.” 

“Thank you for sharing that with me.” Wendy said, appreciating his honesty. “Let’s start with getting to know you a little bit, Jimin. Can you tell me about your family?” 

“My parents?” He asked, watching her nod in response. “My father was CEO of our family business, Park Tech, until he recently retired and I inherited the company, and my mother was a stay at home mother.” 

“What does she do now?” Wendy asked. 

“She passed away several years ago.” Jimin responded, his voice giving away his sadness at the subject. 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Dr. Moore said, making genuine eye contact with Jimin. “How would you describe your emotions around that time?” 

Jimin looked away from her, down to his feet, and shrugged his shoulders. The only person he had ever reallydiscussed his mother with, was you. But even then, he struggled to be truly vulnerable. It just became too difficult to muster up memories of that period of his life, let alone genuinely open up, so Jimin opted to reject it altogether. But as Wendy looked at him, and gave him space to collect himself, he wanted to try for once. For the sake of his relationship with you. 

“Angry.” He responded. “I was angry.” 

“Angry with her?” Dr. Moore clarified, and Jimin nodded. “May I ask why?” 

“She left me.” Jimin answered, still unable to make eye contact. His arms were crossed at his chest, posture defensive and guarded. “She left me alone with my father, and I had to deal with him by myself.” 

“Why do you find your father difficult to deal with?”  

“He’s just…” Jimin’s words scrambled in his mind, unable to be organized in a way that could effectively explain his complicated relationship with his father. “He’s critical. Everything I do seems to be a mistake, and he believes that I can’t handle anything. I try to make him happy, but he never is.” 

“Was he like that before your mother passed away?” 

“A little. He’s gotten worse.” 

“After your mother passed, is that when you started drinking?” She asked gently, and Jimin nodded. “A way to cope.” 

“You could say that.” Jimin said. 

“Is your father upset by your drinking?” 

“Very.” Jimin chuckled sadly. “He says I’m an embarrassment, that I’m ruining the family reputation and the value of the company. He says that I’m lucky Y/N agreed to marry me at all, since I’m such a mess.” 

Dr. Moore wrote down some notes, and took a moment to look at Jimin. He felt studied, and began uncomfortably shifting in his seat. 

“I think you did a lot today.” She said with a smile. “Thank you for sharing so much with me. I think we’ll end early, but I’d like to leave you with one thought before you go.” 

She took off her glasses, sitting them on the desk beside her, and then placed her notepad and pens on the same spot. She leaned forward, drawing in Jimin’s attention, and kept a warm demeanor to her, allowing him to be pulled in. 

“I think that so often, when we do things to hurt others, we end up hurting ourselves the most.” She explained. “It backfires. The person we were trying to hurt with our actions, isn’t nearly as affected as we think they are. But rather, it’s us who take the hit.” 

Jimin nodded, trying to make a connection to something he had said. The timer beeped, letting them know they were finished for the day. 

A few hours later, you enter through the hallway of the treatment center to meet with Jimin at a private table. His eyes, and his entire world, lit up the moment he sees you. His posture becomes straighter, and his lips turn upwards into a smile. 

“Hi, honey.” He stands to greet you, giving you a quick peck on the lips before noticing the bag in your hand. “You brought me something?” 

“Mhm. Jungkook and I made noodles this morning for our lunches, and I made extra for you.” You explained nicely. 

Jimin bit his tongue, but internally, he loathed imagining how you spent your morning cooking with Jungkook, in his kitchen, in his apartment.

“Thank you, honey.” He said softly, leaning in for another, slower, kiss. “So sweet.” 

You two sat together and ate, and you asked Jimin enjoyed the noodles the best he could, as you asked him about his day so far. He gave vague answers, said that therapy was good, and that for what it’s worth, he doesn’t hate it here. Jimin asks you what you’ve been up to, and that’s when you tell him about the book store and the red pandas. The more you talked, the happier you seemed. Jimin felt incredible hatred towards himself, because he hated it, knowing he wasn’t the reason. 

“Jungkook really has been so nice.” You said, taking another bite of your noodles. 

“Yeah, you two seem to get along very well.” Jimin’s voice sarcastically quipped. You furrowed your brows at his tone and attitude. His face was stern, clearly upset by something you said. 

“Baby, what’s the matter? You know it was just-”

You reached out to touch his hand, to console him, but when his eyes glanced down at your finger, his composure cracked completely. 

“Your ring is gone.” He said, shock and panic evident. “Honey, where's your engagement ring? What’s going on?” 

You knew the many answers and explanations to that question. The ring inched off your finger slowly, with every sip of alcohol he took, with every empty promise, and with every fight that ended in fresh tears. When your father voiced his concerns about your future with Jimin, the ring suddenly felt heavier than it ever had before. It felt like a wake up call, that this bad dream you had been subjected to couldbe over, despite it being painful to imagine. But you dared to imagine it, just briefly, and when you slid the ring off, it was like a breath of fresh air in your lungs. You felt free. 

But, as you stared at Jimin’s gorgeous features slipping into sadness, you didn’t have the heart to explain, or to answer. So you sat there, silent. Somehow, that was all the answer that Jimin needed. 

“Y/N, you can’t leave me, please.” He begged, holding on tightly to your hands with tears spilling down his face. “I’m trying. I’m really trying. I’m here, doing this for both of us. Please, angel, you have to stay with me. Please. I love you. You’re the love of my life, Y/N, you know that. Please. Please don’t go. I’m trying.” 

Jimin rambled apologies and begged for you, like a scared child who had their safety blanket taken away. It was like his ccomfort, his usually stable foundation, had been shaken. He was unprepared, and for the first time in his life, Jimin was truly, deeply afraid. 

“I know you’re trying.” You say, holding onto his hand as your own tears spill. “I’m trying, too.” 

——————————————————————

When you arrive back to Jung Kook’s apartment, the tears hadn’t subsided. If anything, time in the backseat of the SUV gave you ample opportunity to think, which in turn, just made the tears flow more freely. You had never felt so guilty before, bruising a heart that you had learned to call home. Jimin’s sweet, whispered words, his charming laugh, his tender touches, his morning kisses. They all seemed like things that would be impossible to even imagine going without. 

But his unstable nature, his unpredictability, and the seemingly never ending spinning loop that he had you on. These things seemed like things that would be impossible to even imagine spending the rest of your life with. When you took Jimin, you took all of him. But if you turn him away, you turn away all of him, too. It’s all, or it’s none. There is no in between. 

Jung Kook was on a call when you entered through the front door, the iPhone pressed up to his ear as he looked out the living room window.

“Yes, I’ll have your case on my desk for review tomorrow morning.” Jung Kook spoke, not yet aware of your presence. “Yes, Mr. Kim, please feel free to stop by tomorrow morning and we can look over your options. Thank you. Have a nice night.” 

He hung up the call, and turned around to see you with red cheeks and red eyes. He knew it had been your first granted meeting with Jimin today since he checked himself into treatment, and he imagined it would be a hard day. But seeing how devastated and small you looked in that moment, he could tell it was much more than a ‘hard day.’ But he didn’t want to waste time with questions, exhausting you more. Jung Kook walked over to you, and wrapped his arms around you in a comforting hug. 

Feeling him around you allowed for the dam that had been holding back some of your emotions to completely shatter. You sobbed, wrapping your arms around him as well and shook as you cried. Jung Kook just held you close, hoping it would be enough to keep you together as best as he could.

“Shhh, it’s ok.” He whispered, tucking your head into his chest, his lips rested at the top of your head, letting you cry into his hoodie. “You’re ok. I’ve got you.” 

“I just don’t know what I should do.” You said with words shaky through your unsteady breathing. 

“You can talk to me about anything, you know that, don’t you?” Jung Kook asked. “If you need to talk about it, you can.” 

You nodded, and kept your arms around him as you told him about the conversation that had happened. Jung Kook was stunned by what he heard, but there was a question that he couldn’t get off his mind, and that he knew he needed an answer to. 

“Can I ask, why did you take off your engagement ring?” 

“I was having doubts about… us.” You admitted, your chest bursting at the seams with guilt. “I love him, but I just don’t know…” 

“Hey, shhh. I understand.” Jung Kook hushed you gently. He pulled you ever so slightly away from his chest, just enough to make eye contact as he spoke. “You know what I think? I think you’re a lot like me, in that you try to take care of the people that you love, sometimes to your own detriment. Eomma used to scold me about that, and she told me that sometimes, you have to put your needs first, so that you can be the best version of yourself when you show up for those you love.” 

“I… I don’t know if I can do that.” You sniffled, wiping your years. 

“It is hard. Trust me, I know.” He admitted. “But, I think you should… Because I know that you deserve to be happy.” 

[carpkoinobori]

[❣︎] casual — huh yunjin x reader

[𖤐] 0.5/3 [next] [please be aware this is all fiction! none of this is real and idols behavior is not accurately represented.]

song(s): casual - chappel roan | runaway runaway - mars argo | HOT TO GO - chappel roan |

summary: you and your best friend made it to produce 48 together— what led up to the fallout? who is it you’re singing about? what do you do when the stress boils over?

pairing(s): trainee!huh yunjin x trainee!fem!reader

tags: angst, imagined unrequited love, eventual happy ending

wc: 1.1k

cw: implied sexual content, internalized homophobia, period typical homophobia, mentions of dieting.

ex: 135 notes.. thank you all so much!! i didn’t expect anyone to really like it. i hope you enjoy this backstory :-)

also, this is an au, not following real events— y/n and yunjin are 18 and 19 in produce48, yunjin debuts three years later at 22, and y/n at 21.

(not beta read 😭)

you didn’t expect a survival show to be so stressful- now, you were well aware how difficult it’d be, you knew you would have to practice, and sing, and dance, and diet- but, you didn’t expect the constant stress of the possibility of being eliminated every day.

but, you chose this, right? all for her, all for your sun.

“y/n! Come on, let’s practice this final part, yeah? I think I figured out the footwork-“ yunjin mumbled, rambling about something or other. you were distracted by her face, she was soo pretty-

“y/n, are you even listening to me?” she said, grinning. your face turned a pretty shade of red, and you spluttered. “What? No, no! I was totally paying attention, I swear— something about.. footwork?” You guessed, desperately.

“it’s fine, just, come here- I’ll teach you,” she smiled, and it took all you had to not just fall right there.

after one particularly harsh judge had humiliated yunjin, she slammed the door of the room you shared with about two other contestants. they weren’t there, at the moment.

yunjin angrily began to rummage through her things, and you sat up. “jen? What’s wrong? I mean, I know what the judge said was mean but- you know that’s not true, right?” you began, getting up and starting to walk over to her before she whipped her head around, glaring at you.

“It IS fucking true, y/n, just because they always let you fuck up ‘cause the fans love you doesn’t mean you’re suddenly qualified to give advice-” she spat, standing up from her spot on the floor, her fists clenched as she jabbed her finger into your chest harshly. “You probably think you’re so much better than me, don’t you? I bet-” you cut her off, cupping her face in your hands. “jen- jen, I don’t think that, and you do not get to talk to me like that just because you’re mad,” you began, words steady and stern, and when you watched your best friends eyes glaze over, a bit, felt her gaze flicker down to your lips, felt your face flush and felt her lean in—

well, it was all you could do to tug her closer, kissing her, tasting the stupid citrus lip balm she’s used for years, that you’ve thought about every single day of your waking life—

and if someone asked, was it all worth it? the pain, the exhaustion, the work, just for this?

“well,” you’d reply, “oranges were always my favorite fruit.”

you cupped her face with one hand, threading your fingers in her hair with the other, pushing her onto your bed, and it was all teeth, you biting her lip, you moving your hands down, her speaking incoherently.

“please,” she’d breathe out, the words just whispers on the wind. and you’d always been the one under her mercy, begging her to love you- and now here she was, begging for you to touch her. you’d always dreamed of touching the sun. you’d always think of Icarus, in these moments. your wings were yet to melt from the heat and warmth, though, so you figured it was fine.

and, well, the fall would hurt, but it was all you could do, to fall into eachother, again, and again.

waking up was always worse. your dorm mates still weren’t back, they had a penchant to pass out in the practice room. you kinda thanked them, for that.

sometimes you’d wake up in the middle of the night, just so you could see her sleeping. just so you could see her before she would leave in the morning.

yeah, you lived together, but come 8 in the morning, she’d be gone. except for the first time. except for before you fell asleep.

“..y/n?” she asked quietly, voice barely above a whisper.

“mhm?” you hummed, half asleep in your bed.

“this didn’t mean anything, right? im not mad at you, im sorry. i was just stressed, and frustrated- and- we can still be friends, right? it won’t change?” she whispered, and it was the only time you’ve ever seen her this nervous around you. the first time she had really been vulnerable since you both got on this stupid show.

what changed? was it the having to compete against each other? yeah. it was probably that.

“yeah,” you mumbled, feeling your chest constrict, your heart fracture, tears stinging your eyes, and you were so glad she couldn’t see your face. “yeah, jen- it’s casual. we’re still best friends,” you reassured, giving a smile that didn’t reach your eyes. why were you smiling, anyway? she couldn’t see you. she’s never seen you. “okay, y/n. good night. i love you,” she mumbled, turning to the wall.

“goodnight, jen. i love you,” you whispered, turning your back to her, and staring at the empty bed across the room. wasn’t it poetic that she was in your bed, and you’d never be in hers? you laughed inwardly, no humor in it. you were so, so bitter.

this stupid game kept up, you kept giving in to it, and you kept losing- atleast it gave you writing material, right?

“y/n,” your dorm mate- chaewon, you think? “you should stop,” she murmured. you stared at her through tired eyes. “stop what?” you said, playing dumb. “you know. I think- I think it’s.. it’s not good for you,” she mumbled, uncomfortable. “I appreciate it, but I’m fine,” you assured, giving a well-practiced smile. “Thanks for caring,” you nodded, slipping out of the chair you’ve been sitting in for an hour and a half— instead of sleeping, you’d either be with your “best friend”, or writing about her- god, you were such a lovesick fool. Crumpled paper took up the majority of your desk, and you left it all splayed out, in front of Chaewon, slipping away to go practice till you dropped. The trainee life, you’d think.

“you said/ we’re not together/so now when we kiss/ I have anger issues,”

chaewon stared at the paper, vaguely. she couldn’t read english, obviously, and was half tempted to put it in a translator, but she just turned around, leaving the room as well to go practice.

“and I try to be the chill girl/that holds her tongue and gives you space/i try to be the chill girl/but honestly/im not,”

and then she got eliminated. and you broke down. and you lived in that practice room. and your roommates would stare at you in pity, and you hated it, you hated being something pitiable.

you hated loving your best friend. your fall hurt like hell, your stupid wax wings broke. you didn’t fall into her, no— you fell into the sea, cold, salty, rough— you hated the cold. but maybe you’d get used to it.

hundreds of texts unsent:

“jen, I love you,” [delete]

“jen, I miss you,” [delete]

“jen, did you love me? do you miss me?” [delete]

“I’m so sorry,” [sent]

“are you okay?” [sent]

“will it be okay?” [delete]

“will you catch me?” [delete]

“why won’t you talk to me?” [sent]

[reply] “I need some space,”

[reply] “I can’t take the reminder,”

“okay, I’m sorry. I love you,” [sent]

[you can not reply to this conversation. message unable to send]

and nearly 7000 miles away, there is a girl crying in New York City. because she loves her best friend. and her best friend said she didn’t mean it.

and nearly 7000 miles back, there is a girl crying in Seoul, because she loves her best friend. and her best friend (will) not love her back.

hi! backstory to good luck babe. i hope you all enjoy this, I wasn’t expecting so many notes on the last post… thank you all for reading! please feel free to send anons or reqs or just tell me about your day.. hope your day is great! :3

[rhapsodynew]

#memorial day

On November 29, 2001, the "silent Beatle" left this world. In memory of George Harrison, let's recall some interesting facts from his life.

George Harrison: A nostalgic and instructive interview.

Interview with Crawdaddy magazine

Question: “Were you nervous before the Beatles debuted in 1964 on the Ed Sullivan show?”

GEORGE: “Sullivan's show was funny because I didn't attend the rehearsal. I got sick during the flight during my first trip to the States. The band also played a lot of songs at rehearsals for sound engineers, they kept coming into the control room and checking the sound. And finally, when they found a balance between instruments and vocals, they noted it on the mixing console, and then everyone went to lunch. Then we came back to record the show on tape, and the cleaners had already been here and erased all the marks from the remote. In those days, the sound was somehow handled carelessly. Amplifiers, for example, were placed to the side of the stage so that it would not spoil the frame, you know.”

• After the Beatles' first visit to the USA, they became the most famous people on the planet - an inside look

“For the Beatles at that time, it was a great help: if someone ran out of press conferences, there was always someone else with a smart answer. There was always a reasonable balance, so no one could ever really pin us down.”

George Harrison is inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (2004)

“For the first time, the most depressing moment came for me during the ‘White Album’. The problem was with making a double album because it takes so long.”

The Beatles were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (1988)

Q: “Why did you make a double?”

GEORGE: “I think it was because there were so many songs, but it was a period that started a little bit negatively. It was a bit difficult, but we got through it and everything was fine. We finally finished working on the album, and everyone was happy because the tracks were not bad. There were just too many restrictions based on the fact that we had been together for so long. Everyone was kind of imprisoned. It was unpleasant.”

“The problem was that John and Paul had been writing songs together for so long that it was difficult - primarily because they had so many tunes and they automatically thought their songs should be a priority. As for me, I always had to wait for them to record ten of their own songs before they even listened to one of mine.”

“‘While My Guitar Gently Weeps’ we were recording one night and there was such a lack of enthusiasm. So I came home very disappointed because I knew the song was good. The next day, I brought Eric Clapton with me. He was really nervous. I told: ‘Just come and play in the session, then I can sing and play the acoustic guitar.’”

“Paul always helped when you first performed his ten songs, and then when he started performing one of my songs, he helped. It was stupid. In fact, it was very selfish. Sometimes Paul would make us perform these really sugary songs. I mean, God forbid, ‘Maxwell's Silver Hammer’ was so cloying. After a while we worked on it well, but when Paul came up with an idea or arrangement… But Paul is still really writing for a 14-year-old audience right now.”

“I remember coming from California and shooting this piece for a film about Ravi Shankar's life called ‘Raga’, and I had a sitar. And we stayed in New York and checked into a hotel, and Jimi Hendrix and Eric Clapton were both in the same hotel. And that was the last time I really played the sitar like that. We hung out so much at that time, and Eric gave me a fantastic Les Paul guitar that he plays at that concert.”

“I helped so much with all the arrangements. Although there were a lot of tracks where I played the bass. Paul played lead guitar in ‘Taxman’, and he played guitar - the best part - in ‘Drive My Car’.”

Q: “Did you play the bass?”

GEORGE: “No, I didn't play. What did Paul usually do if he wrote a song? He would learn all his parts, and then he would come into the studio and say, ‘Do this.’ He would never have given you the opportunity to take the initiative. But on ‘Drive My Car,’ I just played a line that's really kind of a lick off of ‘Respect’ - you know, the Otis Redding version - and I played that line on guitar, and Paul recorded it with me on bass.”

Q: “Which Beatles album are you still listening to?”

GEORGE: “I loved when we worked on ‘Rubber Soul’, ‘Revolver'. There was something good in each album, and they developed. There were albums that, from my point of view, were no good, like ‘Yellow Submarine’.”

“We put all the songs together in album form - now I'm talking about English albums, because in the States, as we later discovered, for every two albums we had, they (Capitol) made three... because we included fourteen tracks in the album, and we also had singles that were not included in albums at that time. And they put in singles, took out a bunch of tracks, changed the order, and then made new compilations, like ‘Yesterday And Today’ - just terrible compilations.”

Q: “Was it difficult with the rest of the band when you started getting into Indian music?”

GEORGE: “Not really. They weren't really that interested. When I first met Ravi (Shankar), he played a private concert right at my house, and he came with Alla Rakha, and John and Ringo came to listen. I remember Ringo didn't want to know anything about tabla because it just seemed so far away from him.”

Q: “The whole Beatles image has been cleaned up and smoothed, which is always credited to Brian Epstein.”

GEORGE:

“In the Hamburg days, we had to play for a long time and burn out to the fullest, jump around the stage, foam at the mouth and do anything.”

Q: “Have you received any feedback from John or Ringo or anyone else-congratulations?”

GEORGE:

“I remember John was very negative at the time, but I was away, and he came to my house, and my friend lived there, who was also John's friend. He saw the album cover and said, ‘He must be pretty damn bad to have released three records. And look at the front photo, he looks like an asthmatic Leon Russell.’ There was a lot of negativity. You know... Ringo played on almost the entire album. I don't care about that. To hell with all this-we've been through this before. I felt that no matter what happened, whether it was a failure or a success, I would act on my own, just to get some peace of mind.”

Q: ”They say he was...”

GEORGE:

“Well, you know, John has experienced more negative events than I have with the Maharishi. Now I see much more clearly what happened, and a lot of it was due to ignorance. Maharishi was great, and I admire him, as well as Prabhupada, for being able, despite all the ridicule, to just keep moving forward. And now more and more people - especially in the United States - are following the teachings. And in the 60s, they laughed at us and said it was stupid. All those people influenced me, and I tried to get the most out of them without getting a spiritual twist of the guts.”

George's favorite color was purple. The musician loved Formula 1 racing, egg sandwiches, watched the TV show "Monty Python's Flying Circus", and his favorite movie was "The Producers" (1968) by Mel Brooks.

For most of his career and life, George considered his birthday to be February 25th, 1943. Many books about The Beatles and Harrison indicate this date. However, shortly before his death, George said that, in fact, he was born on February 24. The family document shows that the musician was born on February 24 at 23-50

George officially joined The Quarrymen on February 6, 1958, when he was 14 years old. During a tour of Scotland in 1960, the musician briefly changed his name to "Carl Harrison" (in honor of his idol, Carl Perkins).

George became the author of a slang word that entered English dictionaries. In the movie "The Evening of a Hard Day" (1964), he used the word grotty to describe some items of clothing. Grotty (from the word grotesque — grotesque) became a popular slang word of the 1960s era. It is still used today, although much less often than before

Harrison was "the best actor from The Beatles." At least, according to Richard Lester, the director of the films "Hard Day's Evening" and "Help!". Richard called George the most capable actor of the Liverpool four. According to the director, in the "Evening of a Difficult Day" the guitarist was the highlight of every scene he participated in.

George was the first "Beatle" whose solo composition reached the highest position in the national charts — this achievement was achieved by My Sweet Lord in December 1970

A versatile musician, George played 26 different instruments. Any Beatles fan knows about his talents in playing guitar and sitar, but Harrison has also achieved considerable success in studying instruments such as conga, African drum, xylophone, violin, harmonica, marimba, metallophone, ukulele, sarangi.

Harrison once spent $4 million "to watch a movie." When the Monty Python comic group began to have problems financing their film The Life of Brian, George actually mortgaged his house to help the artists with money. He said he did it simply because he "wanted to see the movie." According to Monty Python contributor Eric Idle, this is still the largest amount anyone has paid for the opportunity to watch a movie.

As we all know, George died in 2001, the cause of death was a malignant brain tumor. His mother, Louise, died prematurely due to the same disease in 1970. George wrote the song Deep Blue in her honor. The musician's father, Harold Harrison, died of cancer in 1978, on the night of his death, George and his wife Olivia woke up and both saw the color blue. Afterwards, they testified that they had seen Harold's ghost smiling at them.

"We could save the world with our love."

"The world is a birthday cake. Take a piece, but don't be greedy.".....

[janitorhutcherson]

I love your writing, please please give the world Mike comforting his partner on their period 🙏🏻 that man would be so compassionate but also confused and asking tons of questions so he can explain it to Abby when she’s older

okay so, i'm about to start my period. i can sense it, i'm cramping, i'm going insane, so here is some mike fluff!! i need this, y'all need this, we all need this rn. this isn't great, last min as always :p i promise one day i'll give yall something more quality lol. also am sorry if this isn't exactly what u were lookin' for!! i hope u enjoy :P

word count: 1,298

warnings: mentions of blood (period), swearing

summary: mike takes care of you while you're on your period. completely unaware to how it all works, he does the best he can, trying to educate himself in the process.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were in pain. That was one thing you knew for sure. For the past two days, your insides had felt like Satan himself was ripping them out, tearing each part of your uterus into tiny, itty bitty pieces, perhaps even doing a little happy dance on them. As your body was stretched out on the couch, your hand gripping your abdomen, you felt like your life was flashing before your eyes. You'd called off work, waking up feeling worse than you had during that time of the month in a while. You couldn't picture yourself doing much of anything but laying on the couch in the living room of your boyfriend, Mike, and his little sister, Abby, who was much like your own. You'd slept over the night before, opting to stay there as you felt much more comfortable.

Once a month, you became queen bitch, completely insufferable to be around. You were grumpy, sick, nauseous, and aching. You couldn't help it. Your cramps were always amplified more than the average person. Your pain tolerance seemed to get weaker when the time came. With that being said, everyone around you had to suffer the consequences. You and Mike had only been together a few months. Every month, he'd get a little bit better about handling it. The first month, he was slightly standoffish, not sure if his assistance would make things worse or if it would help you. He'd offer you pain medicine, get you water when you needed it, and fetch the heating pad when you cried out in pain. He was always sympathetic, helpless in his inability to make your pain disappear. Mike loved you, and the last thing he wanted was for you to ache the way that you did.

In the following two months, he'd gotten more adventurous, even offering to go out and buy your preferred pads and tampons. Even though he brought back the wrong thing the first time (he brought back the preteen pads, which would not be helpful to your heavy flow), he was sure to correct it the next. With his learning curve coming to an end, Mike was much better with his assistance. Right as your eyes began to flutter closed, the front door to Mike's door flung open, an exhausted Mike walking through, his hair messy and his skin somewhat pale due to his lack of sleep. Although he was working normal human hours now after getting a regular job, the adjustment period was difficult. He somehow felt even more sleep-deprived than before. You slowly sat up, a confused look on your face as you glanced over at the time. It was only noon, which didn't make sense. Mike typically wouldn't be home until around 5:30pm.

"Mike?" you questioned, your voice laced with pain as your head cocked to the side.

"Yeah, baby?" he questioned back, placing three plastic bags from the store onto the coffee table in front of you. He sat beside you on the couch, moving your legs to lay across his lap. He tenderly reached his hand across you, his warm palm slipping under your shirt to touch your aching stomach. He rubbed slow and gentle circles on the tender area, a sigh of relief leaving your lips as it somewhat relieved the pain. "You feelin' any better?" he spoke softly, his tone dripping with sympathy and worry.

"Why are you home? What's in the bags?" You were confused. You didn't mean to sound like a bitch, but the pain was making you somewhat delirious, and the thought of him simply coming home early just didn't occur to you. He chuckled, shaking his head as he playfully rolled his eyes.

"Can you not just let me take care of you for once?" he grumbled, grabbing the plastic bags from the table and placing them gently into your laps. In the first bag, he pulled out a brand new pain reliever bottle and miniature heating pads. They were wireless and single-use. You could stick them into your pants and wear them around wherever you needed. He also pulled out a new bubble bath, lavender scented, that claimed to have infused pain-relieving essential oils. The next bag contained your favorite kind of chocolate, some other kinds of candy, and a little stuffed bear. The bear wasn't any bear, but one that could be heated up and again used as a heating pad. Inside of the same bag, he also pulled out a brand new box of the right kind of tampons and a bouquet of flowers. The last bag contained burgers and fries from your favorite fast-food place, something yummy to get into your aching system.

You watched in awe as he pulled out each item, a sheepish but proud grin spread across his face as he did so. He was proud of himself, mostly because he felt useful, he felt like for once he was the one taking care of you. Mike typically felt like a burden, like he wasn't worth caring for, regardless of how much you attempted to convince him otherwise. Times like these were important to him, times when he could make you feel safe, secure, loved.

"I, uh, heard you this morning. I realized you were in a lot of pain, wanted to do something nice. I took the day off of work, thought I'd surprise you with some stuff to make you feel good. Got us some lunch too, thought maybe we could go lay down in the bed and watch movies, eat some junk together? I'll take real good care of you," he said, scratching at the back of his neck with a hopeful grin. You looked back at him with your own wide grin, the churning cramps in your stomach not subsiding but instead simply not your main focus at the moment. You nodded your head, leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

You helped him carry the brand-new goods and the food to the bedroom. You plopped down onto the bed as Mike leaned over you, gently kissing your head. He tucked you into the blankets, ensuring you were nice and warm. He closed the curtains tightly, all too aware of the vision-blurring headaches you got on your period. He put up one finger to signal he'd be right back. Once he returned, he had a glass of water and heated up your brand-new heating pad bear. He placed your wired heating pad onto the small of your back, pressing two kisses to your forehead again. He then insisted you lift your head, helping you to swallow the pills. After, Mike cuddled up next to you in bed.

The two of you watched random movies and TV shows for the rest of the day, his hand seldom leaving your stomach. He constantly had you wrapped up near him. He kept you medicated and fed, refusing to leave your side. Mike was content. Even though you were a bitch during this time, you were appreciative. He loved you and it was clear, he'd do anything to take care of you.

While deep into the show you were watching, you felt a pair of eyes staring into the side of your head. You lifted your head, looking over to Mike with a cocked eyebrow. "Yes..?" you questioned, staring at his somewhat nervous expression.

"Um, do you think, you could maybe explain periods to me? Y'know, all of it, the bloody stuff, the moody stuff.. I just.. wanna be prepared for Abby," he asked sheepishly. A chuckle left your lips as you shook your head.

"Of course, Mikey. I can explain it to you," you hummed, pressing a kiss to his lips before you went into detail, explaining female anatomy to your 25-year-old boyfriend.

[midnight-bay-if]

Okay, that ask with MC dying in RO's arms. I can't help but reverse-angst any angsty ask I see, so now I HAVE to.

What if despite the MC seemingly dying, the team managed to call an ambulance and for it to arrive fast enough to like manage to restart their heart and ultimately save them? What I'm mostly interested in in this scenario is how would the ROs act during the period of uncertainty of "will they wake up or not", and when MC finally DOES wake up and is fine (cause well, they could have woken up but with all sort of issues due to the lack of oxygen and what not).

I live for hurt-comfort!

(A little bit of hope can go a long way. Let's do this :D)

S: The wait is excruciating. It's a difficult ask for S to set aside their usual cynicism in favour of a more optimistic approach. In the army, it was customary to carry a letter for loved ones should the worst come to pass. S had to deliver more than a few of those letters. They still carry one themselves out of habit. Preparing for the worst like some paranoid doomsayer has become their second skin.

But just this once, they don't want to believe in the worst. They don't want to prepare to break bad news to loved ones, nor imagine the empty space you could leave behind. Perhaps your inability to give up has rubbed off on them. It's a quality of yours they are counting on right now.

Then, the doctor exits the room and smiles, and S knows that their uncommon hope has not been blind after all. You don't wake immediately, but S guards your bedside the entire time. It feels like a lifetime, but when your eyes finally wake, it takes all their strength not to immediately pull you into an air-restricting embrace.

Instead, they grasp your hand in theirs, clutching it tightly against their chest with misty eyes. When you finally speak their name, the tears finally spill freely.

"Thank goodness," they whisper, grasping your hands as if in prayer. I don't know what I would have done if..." They breathe. Deeply. "I fear a very long lecture is teasing the tip of my tongue, but I will do everyone a favour and keep myself gracious instead. Something to look forward to, my darling."

They smile.

Rain: It’s impossible to sit still. Plagued thoughts of pained screams and bloodied hands keep them pacing the length of the waiting room. The others are here too, but for once, Rain doesn’t have enough space inside their head for everyone else.

The pattern sound of their pacing steps keeps them grounded. It’s something else to focus on... because otherwise, the alternative is remembering every sordid detail of what happened to you, and that is too bloody unbearable.

How could they let this happen to you? Are they truly resigned to a life of regret forevermore? Regret was already a heavy enough weight for them to carry as is.

Then, the doctor spills the good news, and Rain rushes into your room, shaking. They didn't think they had tears left to cry, yet they fall freely once more. Red-faced with puffy eyes, they collapse onto their knees beside your bed, tucking their face into the crook of your arm... Honestly, they would be embarrassed if they weren't so happy.

"Perhaps we should consider retirement," they offer once their tears have ceased and they can force a smirk back on their face. "We could settle down by the ocean far away from Albach Bay and grow old together under a canopy of stars. Or we could get on a boat and become pirates. Mind you, the mermaids might pose a threat... Hm, I'll workshop it."

They are only half joking.

Taj: It's easier to be angry. So, as Taj watches the doctors and nurses rushing around as they busy themselves with their work, Taj seethes. They still taste the metal tang of blood in their mouth from the assailant whose throat they ripped out. It taunts them.

'You were too slow', it goads. 'You have always been too slow.'

Taj growls, subconsciously scratching at their own skin as they dig their nails into their arms. Their aggravation must permeate throughout the waiting room because the staff are giving them a wide berth. Sometimes, they'll spot a nurse giving them a pitying look and Taj will dig their claws in deeper.

It's all they can do to prevent clawing at their throats.

They don't understand. Taj has fought tooth and nail to find 'home'. S and Rain came along and provided shelter, but they found a home in you.

Taj would flay the skin of every potential threat before losing that.

All that anger, all that pent-up rage, begins to finally trickle away when the doctors give the good news. It still exists—it's still there—but it softens, as does the self-flagellation.

At your bedside, they wait. When your eyes flicker open, and you whisper their name, they finally breathe. "I always knew you were annoying, Koel, but I never pegged you as cruel."

Pouting, they grasp your hand in theirs and hold it delicately up against their lips. "Thank you," they gasp, barely breathing. "For not leaving me."

N: N is losing what little patience they actually have. It feels like days since they absconded away with you, and there has been no news since. What in Hael do they do here? There may or may not have already been a few incidents of cornering medical staff in a somewhat threatening manner to demand they prioritise you above all others.

It's not like there is anyone of greater importance in this hospital. N knows that to be true, even without knowing who the other patients are.

It's too tempting... to want to reach out to the dark recesses of your mind and pull you back, but then fear takes over. What if they reach out and you aren't there? What if they scream into the void, and all they hear is their echo? It would ruin them.

So, they wait and wait, and finally learn what it means to be patient.

When the doctors, still maintaining a cautious distance, finally break the news N has been so desperately hoping for, N breaks. They rush into the room, practically tripping over their feet in their haste. For a moment, they forget all about their image as a Prince of Hael and choose, instead, to embrace one simple truth; they care.

"Do try not to die in the future, my dear. I would be awfully put out if you did."

Umbra: If it weren't for the others, Umbra would be burning through the very heart of themselves to skulk, watch, and stand vigil in your room as the doctors worked. But it was S who rightfully pointed out that if you were to wake and Umbra had become less of themselves in the meantime, it would only bring you more heartache.

So, instead, they continue to practice trust. They are choosing to trust in your strength, in your stubbornness, in your desire to live. Even as their instinct to fight scratches at the back of their skull, they choose to believe instead. It's hard and getting harder.

Umbra knows if it weren't for the others, they would have already stormed your hospital room with savagery.

When the doctors finally release Umbra from their torment and share the good news of your stability, it's all they can do before Umbra is at your side. God grant mercy to the person who attempts to remove them from that point on.

Overwhelmed with emotion and with their fear no longer gripping their throat, they daringly climb onto the bed next to you. With hushed apologies, they gently rest their head atop yours, listening to you breathe.

"I never noticed before," they whisper, breath shuddering. "You breathe so deeply."

(I'm sorry sorry this took so long! I wanted to do it justice since it feels like a short sequel, lol. It's been a busy few days since we rescued a cat from a family member who had to move house. I may or may not be using them as inspiration for Taj, haha.)

[sundrop-writes]

hiya! Might be a bit broad of a request but could I get headcanons with jj x autistic female reader ?

Broad in the sense if I could get hcs of her reacting to reader with autism, how she helps reader with overstimulation and struggling with social cues and noise. If you wanna throw in smut hcs (jj being the dom) i’m also fine with that!

Basically anything with jj and autistic female reader, thanks!

I love this request so much!!! If you want smut/smutty hcs with JJ and autistic reader, definitely feel free to send in a separate request - I will come back for that in another post. For now, I hope you enjoy this!!

Requests are currently - OPEN.

Jennifer Jareau x Fem!Autistic!Reader (Headcanons)

(Warnings: typical CM themes, the reader is described as touch avoidant (with some exceptions); mentions of molestation and murder (related to a case, mentioned in passing); mentions of blood, mentions of someone being shot in the reader's presence. Idk, I don't think there's anything else. Not proofread.)

JJ was raised around everything (neuro)typical, so when she meets you, she doesn't quite get you. Not at first.

You are one of the smartest people on the team - that is why you're there. Your ability to pick up on patterns and bits of detail that others don't see is incredible, and your brain holds mass amounts of obscure information that she could never even dream of knowing.

But you are quirky. More than quirky.

You have difficulty making eye contact, you freak out if someone even motions toward touching you unexpectedly, you have very odd, specific little rituals with your snacks and meals (which JJ does come to find endearing over time) - you go from talking at incredibly fast speeds, blabbering out information to being silent and stoic for long periods of time.

When she finds out that you have autism, she is a bit surprised. She is one of those people who thinks that autism is a disorder related to school aged boys - but you explain to her how it affects your life. How it makes it difficult for you to relate to people, form close friendships, how it's difficult for you to focus on larger 'important' things when smaller details are bothering you.

(It's one of the reasons you're so good at your job - but it also makes it hard to focus on people's words if their shirt is wrinkled and it's distracting you.)

You act cold toward most people on the team, and it's one random day that JJ finally starts to figure you out. A day that you finally warm up to her.

You were helping Morgan escort a suspect out of the police station, to a squad car where he would be driven to jail to be processed. He had confessed to molesting and killing eight boys after being caught with a ninth, and when the father of one of the boys heard the BAU had arrested someone, he came to the police station with a gun.

When the suspect was shot, you were covered in his blood, and in horrible shock from hearing such a loud bang right beside your ear - from feeling the sudden dead weight drop in your arms.

You ran back into the station screaming, and JJ followed her instinct - followed you into the women's washroom, wanting to see if you had been hurt. She was surprised to see you pacing back and forth in front of the sinks, muttering something under your breath.

"L/N." She called out your name, trying to get your attention. "Y/N? Y/N? Hey? Are you hurt?"

You didn't look up, not for a second. But your muttering became louder. And it became more clear what you were saying.

"My pen, my pen, I dropped my pen..."

JJ had no clue why you were so concerned about a pen when you were covered in someone else's blood, your ears likely still ringing from the gunshot - but she knew that you had a pen-clicking habit. It was something that often annoyed Reid and Morgan - but from what she had observed, you did your best work when your thumb was twiddling, clicking the end of your pen insistently. It meant your brain was whirring hard, putting the pieces of the puzzle together.

JJ reached into the breast pocket of her blazer, and took out a pen that clicked on the end.

"Here." She offered it out to you. "You - you can borrow my pen." She said shyly, hoping it would help you calm down.

You extended out a shaking hand, and took the pen, and then began to click it harshly with your thumb. You gripped it so furiously, the skin around your knuckles so tight - but after a moment, you let out a tight breath. And then, for the first time since she had known you - you looked JJ in the eye.

"Thank you." You murmured, your voice ripe with tears.

"Keep the pen." JJ told you, feeling like it was a small consolation if it helped you calm down this much.

You reached up, petting a shaking hand over your face, and pulled back in disgust when you felt the sticky blood.

"Let me help you clean up." JJ said, grabbing some paper towels out of the dispenser and wetting them in the sink.

It was the first time you had ever let her touch you - you clicked the pen the whole time, and from then on, that sound became less of an annoyance and more of a comfort to her.

That was the day she realised one incredibly important thing:

To you, small things matter on such a big scale.

Coffee in your favourite mug instead of a random one she found in the back of the cupboard - that gets a smile out of you. Scones with blueberries instead of raisins - raisins get a shrug at best, blueberries get a giggle and a big 'thank you!'. Organising your files in alphabetical order instead of by date.

You and JJ became close after that day.

She wasn't a profiler, not in training, but she learned to read you like a book.

She knew that you bouncing your knee aggressively meant that you were becoming overstimulated - things in the room too loud, the florescents too bright, the day too overwhelming.

When this happened, she would take you outside for a break - often siting that she herself needed some air and she simply wanted your company. She knew you didn't like to be outwardly babied (who does?), but she also knew that you had a hard time self regulating. You had a hard time deciding when to take yourself out for a break, and if you didn't have one, then you would become irritable, have a hard time focusing, and hardly get any work done.

She also picked up on the fact that you just plain didn't get sarcasm.

Before, she thought you were being cool, or aloof. When someone said something sarcastic and you didn't understand, she thought that you were pretending not to get it in order to snub them or make a joke out of the whole thing.

But during one of your many conversations, you told her that you absolutely didn't understand sarcasm - you didn't get when someone was using a sarcastic tone, and you often took everything people said in its most literal interpretation.

So you and JJ developed a wonderful, silent system - if someone said something and you didn't understand if it was sarcasm right off the bat, you looked to her, and she would nod at you if they were being sarcastic, or shake her head if they were being literal. It was something people on the team picked up on, but nobody said anything about it - they just enjoyed the way you bonded with her, and how your quirky habits were spreading like a delightful little plague.

JJ knew that your life wasn't easy, living with autism, but she always tried to make it a bit easier. Because you were worth it.

Criminal Minds Masterlist

[changbinsboobs]

* Timeframes for meeting their FS

Please

First things first, im shit with timeframes when reading tarot so this won't be straight forward answers, rather i think i'll be getting the energy of the time period they'll be in when they meet them but unless i specifically pick on something time-wise and say it - then i have no idea when they'll be meeting them.

"Timeframes" for Skz meeting their FS

Chan

Ok this is just a wild guess but i think it might be after skz disband or he in some way loses Skz. He'll be crying over this loss but my guy doesn't know that with closing this door another one opens. Again this is a guess, it could relate to other things too - the energy im seeing is that he loses something of value and grieves over it, but doesn't see what blessing is hiding just behind the corner. Oh also forgot to mention, this won't happen right away, thats the "activator" of their meeting, and during that transition period a few months may go by before they meet, although im not seeing much more than half a year AT MOST.

Lee Know

Ok, this is really interesting but im seeing him being extremely lucky and having already met his Soulmate (mind you not FS) years ago when he was younger and had no clue at all, and them life brought them apart. This is not really in the cards but rather my own personal feeling with this energy, that this is not his future spouse, so im susceptible to believe he either will not marry long into the future, or his FS is still undetermined, he won't marry at all or he will remarry, and thats why i may be reading on a second spouse, not the first. There's many possibilities here, do with that what u will.

Changbin

Ok this is a very unclear/difficult energy to read and im not picking on much other than that he's determined to find love and for him im actually seeing 1. a timeframe and 2. reaching financial success? So idk what to make of that. The timeframe shows 1 year. So he may have some sort of plan regarding his finances and he has put lots of energy into that till now, and still continues, but now his focus is also on love. Im seeing him already tapping, no being in the "energy field" of finding a soulmate/love, so maybe in a year something career or finance wise will happen, and that could be the "initiator" of their meeting to happen. This could be the last piece of the puzzle bringing him a certain feeling of security and peace of mind that might be missing right now. Im seeing things progressing very quickly too, in the matter of weeks after their first meeting, cuz my guy will eat her up and woo her as fast as he can.

Hyunjin

Ok this is also very interesting cuz i thought i'd be looking long into the future with those readings but till now, lots of them were actually kinda close energetically wise, except maybe for chan. But i guess it could be making sense cuz they're in their mid twenties and thats the time people already start getting married, and i guess they need to date for a while first if they're gonna get married in their thirties so it makes sense for them to be already close to meeting their fs or having already met them. Cuz meeting them at all doesn't always guarantee starting to date immediately yk. But anyways back to hyunjin😅 for him im seeing he either already met his FS a few weeks/months ago (like max. 3 months) or will be meeting them around that time in the future. But the thing with him is he would be absolutely clueless and either will have a bad impression of them or leave a bad impression on them...or both. Probably both😂 cuz im seeing him having this expectation for this to be some lifechanging experiwnce, fireworks firing, waterfalls falling, the world is singing around them - but in reality its not...not at all like that. He will probably be in a bit of an annoyed mood because of something else and his FS will catch him in a bad moment, and im seeing him being really defensive, sensitive, annoyed and just kind of dismissing towards them. As i said he'll be clueless that this could be his FS and probably act like a fool, and as said - leave a bad impression. This is just a hunch but i think between the initial meeting and them actually getting together is a bit of a gap, so yeah, as i said, just a sense but could be a few years or at least a couple few months before they get together.

Han

Omg another one with very present day energy. There's two possibilities. He either is running away from his FS currently, cuz he's just not ready for comittment, afraid of love and wants to keep his freedom and feel young - oooooorrrrr he's meeting them pretty pretty soon, like in the next like week or so, and he's meeting them in a very unpleasant situation. Im seeing him feeling very uncomfortable and anxious because of something, and them they come to his rescue and bring him a sense of balance and security, and breath some confidence into him. That would be the clues for their initial meeting - and im not quite sure which of the two versions apply for his case, so yeah

Felix

Oooohhhghhgc myyy godddd, those keep getting mire and more interesting. So for this one im pretty sure has not only already met them but actually been with them✨ what im seeing here that they were either having a fling or like just stepping into the first stages of dating etc. or they were in a full on committed relationship, but they had fights, couldn't get along and broke up leaving them both heartbroken. He has put that heartbreak into creativity. Not quite sure when that was taking place. Im getting months tho. Either the heartbreak took place a few months ago or they met around 3 months ago and they just recently broke up. Y'all should look out for the bangers that will come out of that heartbreak.😂🙌🏻✨🥲

Seungmin

No soulmates for him🥲💀 my guys just looking at the practicality and he's in thoughts who out of all his options should he choose (excuse mw how many do you have🤨) im seeing him being pretty comfortable but then once again im really uncertain between 2 scenarios, either first one is being he's already thinking about that and what(who) he should choose to deepen things with and get serious, orrrrrr, he feels like he should do that soon, but doesn't want to, so he enjoys his bachelor life a bit more as long as he can and then once he gets a few years older and has quenched his thirst his choosing quickly just "the next best thing" and is getting married. Wow. His readings always shock me so much.

I.N

That one's quite a bit into the future im seeing around 4 years from now, and they'll be meeting when he's in a really bad place mentally. Im seeing him going through a life-changing stage of his life, kind of like an awakening or dark night of the soul. Not necessarily in the spiritual sense but just his state of being, or even his physical life suddenly transforms so quickly he doesnt even know where it hit him from. And he'll have A LOT to deal with internally and even externally, it will be quite the process for him but at the end he'll reach "enlightenment" (or just the next, more conscious, stage of his life) and his FS will pop up out of nowhere. As his little gift✨

* Also surprisingly this went down much easier than i thought, i think i got quite some details and quite a few timeframes, didn't expect that honestly. Not complaining😌