#It's Unbearable

[nobodysdestiny]

I desire him carnally. I don't care if he busts a hip but I wanna to be inside of him.

Van Helsing

[posletsvet]

Satoru Gojo and the Infinity That Sets Him Apart

Throught the flashback arc that opens JJK'S second season, the story goes to great lengths to make us sympathize with Geto. We are privy to the inner workings of his mind when he faces personal catastrophes of his youth, and it grants us a profound insight into how his mental/emotional state deteriorates in response to a painful realization that later comes to define his entire life. Gege found a way to turn Geto's tendency to internalize his experiences into a narrative tool, the mechanics of his Cursed Technique becoming an apt metaphor for it, and that's one truly astonishing writing.

But what about Gojo? After all, it's his memories that play out before our eye as he daydreams, and Geto is no longer an active force in the narrative, so the arc should be introduced in the first place to shed some light on Satoru's character and highlight certain aspects of it. However, while the narrative goes out of its way to humanize Geto by exposing his interiority to the audience, it seems to bit by bit deny readers access to Gojo's mind until Satoru is entirely closed off emotionally at the end of Hidden Inventory Arc. From that point on, any reading of his words and actions can be as good as the other since personal interpretation is all that is left to us to try and understand what lies behind the appearances (I guess that's precisely why there are so many widely different, conflicting interpretations of Gojo out there). What process Gojo's character undergoes throughout his past arc is, essentially, dehumanization.

Let's take a look at Gojo as he is in the main, present timeline. Pretty much as any other person in Gojo's vicinity, the audience can only observe him from the outside, always held at an arm's length away from his interior thoughts and emotions. Whenever we do get an insight into his mind, it's mostly for a solely practical purpose of keeping the readers informed about the direction which the fight is about to take, with Satoru's internal monologues consisting almost completely of him dryly strategizing against his opponents.

Even Gojo's design is set to dehumanize him, teasing the audience with how much it conceals and how little it allows us to derive from what we see. Plain black clothes, long sleeves, long trousers, high collar. Barely any skin exposed, scarce detail, completely colourless expression. To crown it all, his blindfold -- we do not get to see his eyes. Eyes mirror the soul, they communicate emotion which our words fail to. Eye contact is a primal tool of non-verbal communication because of how much our eyes alone can give away about our feelings. With Gojo's eyes perpetually hidden under his ever-present blindfold, there's an additional layer of protection, another hindrance to our understanding of his state of mind. A simple piece of cloth adds to the distance preventing access to Gojo's direct perspective, as impenetrable as trying to look through a blindfold would be for anyone but Gojo himself. The same could be applied even to his height: people around him are required to reach up with their gaze in order to look him in the face. Once again, this choice in his design strives to communicate one thing: you cannot meet him at his level, there is a palpable distance between where he stands and where you are. Everything about Gojo feels almost impersonal, evasive, further increasing the extent of his alienation.

There's an interesting connection found between Gojo's technique, his need to cover his eyes and the narrative distance that does not allow us to get any closer to his character. It's precisely when Gojo puts his mind to perfecting his usage of the Limitless that an unbreachable impediment settles between him and the people around, resulting in him and Geto from that point on being forever unable to get through to each other. With his technique taking a toll on his body by becoming more overwhelming to use after such a rapid increase in power, it's also when Gojo starts to wear his shades all the time. And whereas before we were allowed to look past the tanned spectacles and see his eyes, read the emotion in them, now we're denied even that much. It's probably a short after Geto's defection when Satoru switches to a blindfold, indicating how he completely shuts off emotionally. Just as Geto's Curse Manipulation stands as a metaphor for him repressing his feelings till the breaking point, Gojo's mental state is reflected through the physical appearance, too. Him physically distancing himself from everything within the world around him with his Limitless technique sustaining an uncrossable invisible barrier around him and his blindfold hiding his eyes from the viewer is also how his emotional detachment is established on the meta level of the narrative.

Since Geto's defection, Gojo's defenses are breached in the main timeline just once, and that is during Shibuya Incident Arc. It's barely a coincidence that, as the Limitless falls short and the ever-present physical distance is crossed sharply with the Prison Realm reaching Gojo, the emotional distance is immeadiately eliminated, too.

All defenses down and the memories of his youth flooding through the cracks, Gojo suddenly isn't numb to all the hurt of his past mistakes and what it cost him and the people around him; all the ache of losing his best friend not once but twice and being utterly unable to do anything about it still weighs on him. Neither is numb to all of it the reader, not anymore. The narrative 'catches up' to Gojo at this moment. It was an alienating, almost inhumane experience to never get a sight of Gojo's emotions when it mattered the most, at the pivotal events of his life which come to shape him as a character and as a person. We were simply denied that intimacy. But with Satoru's physical body made within reach and his mind suddenly transparent, laid bare, the delayed heartbreak is alive and present as ever. The weakness of his human heart is exposed, but it required crossing the Infinity to get to his heart.

The physical distance is only breached because the emotional one is eliminated beforehand. However, we finally get to catch a glimpse of Gojo's true feelings because something within the world was able to reach him physically, penetrating through his Limitless technique. The two are the sides of the one coin, they go hand in hand within the narrative, ultimately rendered inseperable by it. At the end of the day, the body is the soul and the soul is the body.

I've started writing all this well before the spoilers for the last chapter came out, but what we see in it, at least how I personally take it, speaks in favour of pretty much everything I've been talking about above. It's somewhat notorious how little emotional impact Gojo's fight against Sukuna lands. Until now. Until Gojo's Infinity utterly fails to prevent his body from taking the damage. Once again we gain insight into his interiority the instance he's physically exposed to the world. With Gojo's invulnerability ultimately overcome, the narrative grants us access to his inner feelings and thoughts one last time. Satoru's heart is an aching wound split open one last time.

[maximura]

The High Table: A John Wick Verse. Introducing Choi Yeonjun, Part II

[the-girl-in-the-high-castle]

1899 has ruined me utterly and completely. It has ruined every other show in existence for me. It's been 6 months and I haven't been able to watch a single show, read a single book or watch a single movie, except Dark.

[meyyii]

— me giggling and romanticizing my life as if i don't have homework and a reality i have to face and do someday.

[le010n11]

Pretty poetry x Neymessi.

[posallys]

The posally brainrot is SO real

[le-velo-pour-dru]

I'm watching a bunch of videos of Dallon rn and. oh my god. he's so hot ;-;

[fictionaldeity]

My least favorite Tumblr writing quirk is posts that seem to be very interesting but are a literal wall of text of a single paragraph that's a hundred lines long

For the love of everything you hold holy... Line breaks are your friends people

[jarognieva]

Something petty and silly completely devastated me for few days (and I still feel like a shit). So. I remembered that there's a pocked in a wallet in which I haven't look at for few years. And there were photos of my family members and... my FormerBestieWhoAbandonedMeForBetterAndCoolerPeople. I don't know what to do with this photos. Discard? I can't. Idk why. She probably doesn't even though about me for single time from the time she "unfriended" me. And I can't forget, I have dreams about her and now this. Idk. After this finding I have an avalanche of bad thoughts about myself. Like I'm too dumb and autistic to live in society, or that I hurt people without realizing or I can't make any relationships because I'm too dumb and I don't get social cues. I feel like a terrible and shitty person again.

[sibelin]

what did i tell u. day 2 of sitting alone in my appartment having no one to talk to and i'm already starting to feel every bad emotions all at once

[someone-you-do-not-know]

I miss. My books.

I miss them so much.

Please, I just want to grab a book from a nearby shelf, but the shelves are empty.

Who thought living in moving boxes for half a year was a good idea?

[maximura]

[socks-wizard-money-gang]

I'm just gonna ignore this and see if it goes away

[corset]

You know. I thought I talked way too much and never listened. But after running into someone like that who just absolutely takes over every conversation that ever happens and never seems to stop to interact with other people in those conversations/listen to them/stop talking for two seconds in this server I am in, I'm actually a lot less self conscious about this because it is now clear to me that I do actively make an effort to not be like this.

[back2bluesidex]

If any of you are living in a place that's still cold (preferably under 10 degree Celsius), please invite me over.

we have heat waves going on here. ACs ain't working at this point and I might die due to excessive sweating.