#It���s one part why I haven’t shared much art lately - I don’t get happy enough about the “quality”

[fangirlovestuff]

Butterfly Effect - Steve Rogers x reader

a/n - Hey lovely people! this is for @holylulusworld​​‘s 10,000 followers celebration, congrats!! (even though you have a lot more now lol). the divider is by the amazing @firefly-graphics​. italics are for thoughts / flashbacks, and the first parts are all in chronological order. Enjoy!<3

Summary: The words on Steve’s arm point to the circumstances in which he will meet his soulmate, and they’re very specific, or so he thinks.

Prompt: 11 - soulmate AU

Word Count: ~2,070

Warnings: reader gets a tatoo but basically this is just a huge fluff fest:)

"That's a cute owl you're drawing there."  

These are the words that were imprinted on Steve's arm since the moment he was born. When Steve could finally read, he asked his mother why are the words there.

"These words are very important," Sarah explained. "They are the first words your soulmate will ever say to you."

"What's a soulmate?" asked a confused Steve.

"A soulmate," his mother answered, "is someone you're gonna love very much. They're the person you'd probably choose to spend the rest of your life with. Their soul is connected to yours in inexplicable ways, almost as if they were one and the same. This," she pointed at the words, "is the sign for you to realize when you'll meet them. Somewhere out there, there's someone with the first words you're gonna say to them."

"So I'll be drawing an owl when I meet my soulfriend?" Steve asked.

"It's soulmate, dear. And I guess you probably will."

"And this… soulmate, will they buy me ice cream?" Steve asked hopefully, not quite getting the point.

Sarah giggled at her son. "Yes, I think they will if you'd want that. But also, they would love you so much, and you'll have the most fun in the world with them."

"Was da your soulmate?" Steve asked.

"He is," his mother answered, the smile on her face tinged with a little sadness that Steve hadn't picked up on.

Okay, so two round eyes, and then the body, and I should add some feathers and –

"Mr. Rogers!" the math teacher said sternly. "I haven’t assigned any equations yet, so I would appreciate it if you'd keep your attention on me instead of your notebook, for now."

"Yes, Ms. Williams," Steve replied sheepishly.

"You know you've already met everyone in this class right? No one here is your soulmate," Bucky whispered once their teacher turned back to the board.

"But I still want to get better at it," Steve shrugged defensively. "She's gonna say it's cute, Buck. For that to happen it needs to actually be cute."

"I don't get your whole fuss around soulmates Steve, but whatever. Suit yourself," Bucky rolled his eyes.

"You don't believe in soulmates?" Steve asked.

"Well, I wouldn't strictly say that, it's just… my words are 'watch it, weirdo.' Call me crazy, but I'm not that stoked to find that person," Bucky chuckled.

"Mr. Barnes! Something to share with the rest of us?" Ms. Williams said.

"No Ms. Williams, I'm sorry," Bucky said timidly and Steve snickered.

Steve could draw owls in his sleep if he needed to. Right now, his pencil was sketching over the page, lightly shading the wings of the owl and the –

"Rogers! You're on in five!" the stage manager called out to him.

Steve sighed and snapped his sketchbook shut. He kept hoping that maybe it was one of the girls on tour with him, but so far it wasn't going so well. The government-mandated entertainment had quite enough free time so Steve could draw as many owls as he wanted to in between shows.

He put the notebook aside and slipped on the cowl they had him wear. The Captain was needed on stage.

"So people take art classes… for fun?" Steve asked, puzzled.

"Yeah," Natasha answered. "Lately you're always drawing away in your little notebook, so if you want to, I could help you sign up for a class. Maybe they can teach an old dog some new tricks," she smirked.

"Ha ha," Steve answered dryly. Yet he couldn't help considering the idea.

The thing was, Steve wasn't sure if his soulmate was still out there to be found. You'd think he would feel a difference, some indication if his soulmate was dead, but when he went out of the ice, Steve felt nothing different. There was still a part of him that was hoping that maybe, just maybe, fate planned this. That his soulmate was still out there.

"That's a great color scheme, Steve," the instructor said, and Steve nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Thanks," he smiled, albeit a tad shakily.

This was the fifth class Steve took this month, and yet, no luck. He wasn't even drawing an owl, and yet the start of that sentence made him jump as if he didn't have super… well, everything.

But that doesn't mean he was giving up. His tattoo was still in place, even after all of these years, it hadn't faded. So he had to believe he could still find his soulmate.

These times were a lot more different than his. People here weren't always inclined to live by that philosophy of "soulmates". Some people chose to simply disregard that and find someone they loved regardless. Steve admired that, but he couldn't say he understood. If you're offered your perfect partner, why walk out of that?

"It's called instant gratification," Nat chuckled when he raised that question to her. "People like to have what they want as soon as possible. Besides, some people don't believe it's real, or don't believe it'll work for them. So, they take matters into their own hands."

Steve was more patient than the average person. He waited decades in ice, what's a few more years to find his soulmate?

Bucky had found his soulmate. Steve couldn't believe it.

Sure, he was happy for Bucky. When he came back today from the store with nothing but a small slip of paper, Steve had half a mind to smack him upright the head for not getting anything. Probably forgot his wallet.

But when Bucky showed him the paper he read the words scribbled onto it – "call me, weirdo, xx" and a phone number, Steve pulled Bucky into a tight hug, patting him on the back.

"Congrats, pal," he smiled.

Bucky beamed. Yes, Bucky Barnes, the terrifying Winter Soldier was beaming and his eyes were shining like a high-schooler in love. And Steve wished that could've been him.

He really was happy for Bucky. That's the thing – this was a good thing. Besides from his best friend finding the love of his life, it also meant that Steve's soulmate is almost definitely out there. But he couldn't help feeling a spark of resentment deep inside of him. It made him feel guilty, but he couldn't help the bitter thought that Bucky was never too keen on finding his soulmate while Steve did everything in his power to find them. And yet, Bucky found his while Steve's still in the dark.

So, to get out of his own head a little, Steve decided to go paint in the park.

To be honest, it was a wonder that Steve hadn't gotten awfully tired of drawing by now. But he still loved it, loved the quiet it cultivated in his mind.

Steve set up a canvas and looked around. People weren't noticing him, busy in their own endeavors. He almost started drawing an owl out of instinct, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Steve wanted to forget about the whole soulmate business for a while and just draw.

He saw a butterfly fly over and land on a nearby bush. Steve focused on the butterfly, trying to remember as much as he can. The rest he can improvise. The butterfly fluttered its wings for a few seconds before flying away.

Steve started drawing the butterfly. Once he had the pencil sketch, he started filling it in with the paints he had brought. He started with the little circles on its wings, filling them in so the shade will be just right, and he was about to move on to the rest on the wings when –

"That's a cute owl you're drawing there."

"It's a butterfly," Steve turned around, puzzled, before realizing what you had just said to him.

Your mouth opened in a gentle gasp. Your hair and clothes were a little messy from your long day at work. And at that moment, when you were caught completely off guard, Steve first met you. You were the most beautiful thing he has ever laid eyes on, and he was an artist. He stared at you in utter shock while you returned him a similar look.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" your friend asked, sitting next to you with a worried look.

"I'm tired of looking for my soulmate. Do you know how hard it is to make conversation about butterflies?" you looked back at her. "I want to do this," you told her.

The tattoo artist came closer. "Okay ma'am, you wanted a simple butterfly, right?"

"Yes," you answered decisively. "On my left wrist." Your right hand had your words on it. "It's a butterfly." Maybe if you had a tattoo your soulmate would see it, would find you.

You closed your eyes and braced for what came next.

You weren't sure about this blind date thing, but why not. You trusted your friend that she set you up with a nice guy, at least.

You set up to meet in a park, and from there walk to a nearby restaurant. Right when the guy showed up, there was a butterfly next to you.

"What’s that?" you asked quickly, pointing towards it.

Your date turned his head to look, but by the time he did the butterfly was already flying away. "I don't know, it was probably a bug or something."

You stifled your groan of disappointment. At least you'd get a dinner out of this.

You and Steve were staring at each other in amazement. Finally, you were the one to speak up. "You're Steve Rogers," you said, frowning in disbelief.

"And you're my… soulmate," he returned the same disbelieving look.

You introduced yourself quickly, smiling at him timidly when you finished.

"So, you wanna get ice cream or something?" Steve asked, unsure of what exactly to do. But apparently he said exactly the right thing, because your face lit up.

"Right now though? You're in the middle of your painting and I wouldn't wanna –"

"It doesn't matter," Steve said quickly and stashed the canvas and paints underneath a bench nearby. "No one passes here anyways," he shrugged. "Until today," he smiled and you giggled.

You made your way to an ice cream shop across the street from the park, walking side by side.

"So, what is the great Captain America doing drawing owl-looking butterflies in a local park?" you asked, smiling.

"I was just looking to clear my head a little," Steve said dismissively. "To be honest, the fact that you didn't find me drawing an actual owl is very ironic, looking back," Steve chuckled. "I spent pretty much my entire life drawing owls, attending painting classes, anything I could to find you," his gaze met yours and he smiled softly. "And I find you in a random park while drawing a butterfly."

"Don't underestimate nature's camouflage," you chuckled. "And hey, you think that's ironic? Butterflies are so scarce I got this," you rolled up your left sleeve a little, revealing your butterfly tattoo.

Steve's eyes widened. "It's beautiful," he automatically reached out to trace the lines on your arm, then withdraws his arm when he understands what he's doing. "It's not as beautiful as you," he says with a smile on his face.

You avert your eyes to the ground in front of you. "Thank you," you bashfully say.

You and Steve got your ice cream, and you exchanged plenty of stories of your adventures in search of each other, most of which were devastating when they happened but when you look back at them now, they were actually pretty funny.

"I hope I can see you again," Steve said when it was getting a little late.

He looked so hopeful, but the question in itself made you want to laugh at the obviousness of the answer. Instead, you rose onto your tiptoes, and planted your lips on his soft ones in a sweet kiss.

Once you parted you took a napkin and wrote down your number. "I sure hope to see you soon," you smiled.

"I'll call you, butterfly," Steve grinned and you beamed at the nickname.

And that night you both went home with huge smiles smeared across your faces. Finally, your quest to find your soulmate was at an end, and you could start a new journey, together.

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[retvenkos]

“i am a little bit of everything i’ve seen in my life.”

requested

MY HEADCANONS FOR THE HYBRID HARRY POTTER HOUSES...

gryffindor/ravenclaw

if you’re in gryffindor you think you’re more “refined” than everyone else, and if you’re in ravenclaw you think everyone’s a stiff

this is the person with the braincell! let it be known that they have it, but refuse to use it

they have to be a little chaotic because they know what consequences are but disregard them

these people call themselves ambiverts but it really just means they won’t talk to you if they hate you

and i say that lovingly

okay, but if they do talk to you??? best people to talk with - they can hold an interesting conversation masterfully and it’s all because their enthusiasm is off the charts

let them ramble, it’s very endearing.

and physical touch is probably their love language so cuddle with them, too

they’re sci-fi and superhero nerds change my mind

now their loyalty is really interesting because gryffindors are really loyal where as a ravenclaws are individualistic and prioritize #1, so i feel like they are very much on guard

befriending is hard - they’ll keep you at bay until they are sure you can be trusted. and they won’t be made to feel bad about it either.

but once you are close to them,,,,, they would save you or die trying

their inside jokes are god tier

i don’t know how they do it other than they know how to make people laugh using the most unexpected methods and because it was such a weird experience, people are able to remember really well?

like, they could say “nutmeg” and everyone around you starts laughing, meanwhile you’re just ???

gryffinclaws are also really interesting because they don’t do well with conflict, but drama sort of gravitates toward them because let’s be real here, they can kind of be actively seeking it out, sometimes.

i mean, it’s usually to avoid having to deal with deeper emotions or even bigger problems, but sometimes they have a hand in their own suffering....

also, these people never study if they don’t like the class. they don’t. if they dislike the subject, they procrastinate with every fibre of their being.

but if it’s something they love, they are the first to get it done and will 100% do extra research and talk about it all the time.

they say they love both cats and dogs equally, and they actually mean it.

they are most likely concerned with wanting to change the world in some way - but they want it to be a tangible way that still allows for creativity and freedom

this is also the friend who stays up wayyyyyyy too late, and when you ask them what they’re doing, all they can say is “memes”

and they really do love memes - send them some. it’s their primary way of communicating

they love going out to get lunch and chatting with friends

food + people = love

they’ll even do it in their room! just bring bread and a good conversation - they can stay up for hours

also,,,, creativity and courage??? these are the people who actually have the confidence to publish their writing/art/whatever, and i admire that.

but writers block hits them so hard... i’m so sorry

okay, but if i understand the meme right, i’d give them wine aunt status.

gryffindor/hufflepuff:

these bastards

but i say that lovingly!

this is your meddling friend - that person that knows all and you can’t hide a secret from them to save your life.

and they seem to know everyone?????

they could ruin your life if they wanted to, but they are sweet uwu children and would never - in fact, they’re appalled you would even suggest it.

don’t let them hang out with gryffindor slytherins, no matter what. they will be corrupted and then it’s all over.

“but why are they bastards?” you ask. well,,,, if you’re acting surly or really don’t want to do a thing™ they will use their knowledge against you, prodding you in the direction you did not want to be going

of course, they only ever use this power when it’s for your greater good, but it’s annoying and invasive enough to grant them bastard status.

10/10 the mom friend.

even has the mom stare.

you know - the whole “you’re being irrational and you’re going to do this no matter how you hate it” stare

they have the  m o s t   energy and i honestly admire that

and they’re so hard working and dedicated that motivation isn’t a problem? it’s really just trying to get a solid, coherent thought that plagues them.

someone please get them a planner - they are constantly running late, but excited to be here!

100% have cottagecore vibes, or at least naturecore or adventurecore

point is, they want to be outside, doing things

they most likely want to make change in this world, but on a smaller level - with the people they care about, or the place they live

they really want to see what this world has to offer, but they are deathly afraid of being lonely

ngl, they probably get hurt by people a lot. they’re a little too trusting and go in a little too deep and when that other person leaves it does irrevocable damage.

it’s kind of like idealism and optimism, but at what cost?

100% smother their own feelings with a pillow and then preoccupy themself with the problems of others to not deal with their own

get them someone to talk to, please. they deserve it.

most likely they are an extrovert and surround themself with people so that they won’t have to feel loss as hard

spoiler alert: loss is always crushing.

gryffinpuffs believe in people - it’s their greatest gift and worst downfall

and they cannot live without them

do they have the braincell? sometimes. most of the time they share it and forget to ask for it back.

they probably like to do tangible things - like sculpture or knitting, baking, caring for plants....

something they can hold close

and if they read, they 100% finish books in one sitting. they just binge and it’s very iconic of them

probably a romantic, idk

they want a meet cute in real life and read all of the marriage fanfics

gryffindor/slytherin:

now these are the people who smile when you call them a bastard

and are most likely to be called a bastard unlovingly

at first glance they might be a little low on the empathy scales, but if you make it into their circle they would kill, die, and resurrect themself for you

BUT! all things come with a cost.

these are your friends with shifting loyalties. they are loyal until they feel your loyalty toward them fade, and they can and will shift against you for self preservation.

and they won’t feel bad about where their loyalties lie.

but please love them because if you really do believe in them they will feel it and it will rock their whole world

and if your feelings are strong, you’ll be surprised how quickly they can turn to you for guidance

if you haven’t noticed, this group is extremely intuitive - they can just sense what everyone feels about them

all that intuition... and quite a lot of tact

maybe it’s the cunning or the self preservation in them, but they can read a room really well - only bested by the hufflepuff/slytherin - and can sway everyone to their side

you want someone to give oddly accurate motivational speeches? this is the person you’re looking for!

slytherdors.... you either love them or you hate them

but no joke these are the people that the gryffinclaws and slytherclaws are constantly fighting - and the slytherdor is ready to throw hands at any given moment, someone pLEASE send a ravenpuff (huffleclaw?) to save them

if you wanted someone to embody teenage angst, HERE YOU GO!

it’s either that or they are extremely competitive and not afraid to call someone out

if there’s a dueling club, someone please put restraints on these children

as you can imagine, these people have a lot going on, and what they really need is just some quiet stability.

they need to see this world isn’t constantly out to get them.

they absolutely love music, so listen to songs with them! they have the best spotify playlists with the most obscure vibes, and it’s very aesthetically pleasing

also! listen to them in any group setting - they make the best, dry comments under their breath

if you laugh at them they will reach into the heavens and give you the moon and the stars

they really want the ~found family~ and definitely seek it out

they crave redemption arcs

they give me baby wolf vibes - they are wild killers, but they’re at that tender age where they’re still vvv similar to a puppy, when given affection

their slytherin side has tamed the impulsivity of a gryffindor, but the level of tactician a slytherdor is varies wildly. you never know what you’re going to get, and they are actually really good at covering it up

kind of like on those alignment charts where it’s like “looks like they could kill you but is a cinnamon roll” except it’s “seems competent, but is really an idiot”

they really need an animal companion, probably a cat or tarantula

the slytherdor probably doesn’t feign to study - they either do or they don’t and if that’s bad for their mental health then they’ll fight god himself

i get a lot of vibes of zuko screaming at the sky in that lightning storm, where he’s like, “come on, strike me! you’ve never held back before!”

maybe i’ve been a little negative, but uh,,,, their love language is sitting in the dark, holding hands and talking about the lamest part of their day

also, they hate meaningless endings to tv shows - they just want to see everyone be happy or die trying

ravenclaw/hufflepuff:

you mean the adjusted ravenclaw?

maybe that was mean, but what i really mean is that they are the most emotionally intelligent of all the ravenclaws

these ravenclaws know how to use conflict resolution skills, and they are very much needed in ravenclaw tower

they’ve been coaching the gryffindor/ravenclaws, but good luck maintaining their attention if they don’t want to listen

they also have patience! that means they get along well with slytherins.

even if they’re tired, they’re a good sport about it

light academia aesthetic, or just soft vibes in general.

they are probably the only artists with a coherent schedule that they keep up on, while still remembering to stay hydrated and function like a normal human being

they lowkey crave structure - the unexpected is not for them

riddles? those have a right and wrong answer - they absolutely hate it when the gryffindor/ravenclaws or ravenclaw/slytherins give an answer that is “technically” right

they probably don’t tell anyone, though

passive-aggression? yep. i can feel them seething from here.

like, they can solve minor problems and can get over bigger ones in time, but if it’s a huge slight, they are never going to let go

and it’s super palpable when they dislike you because they are so kind to everyone else

they probably have a passion for poetry but can’t seem to write any themself

definitely still keep a book of it hidden under their bed, though

and if they are good they vehemently deny it but continue to write anyway

the biggest thing they struggle with is knowing their direction in life - who do they want to be?

abstract thinking is an art form, and these ravenclaws ponder existence in the most intangible ways you’ve ever seen

10/10 lay on the ground and stare at the ceiling for like 3 hours straight

they can vary wildly on the introvert-extrovert scale, but they are never in the middle. extremes only.

you can get close to them out with acts of service - they give so much, please just treat them ONCE

they attach themself to so many people, though. even if they’re an introvert, you’d be surprised with their connections.

they’re so level headed and yet, they can feel so lost

kind of reminds me of 50′s moms who seem perfect on the outside but have existential crises while making a roast in heels

they don’t necessarily want to be “known” - they probably feel like that definition is changing all of the time, so it would scare them to put themself in a box

i guess they’re kind of free spirits - maybe more like the aunt who does yoga with baby goats and collects crystals and pretty shells

they are great at conflict resolution, yes, but don’t expect them to be your therapist (that’s the hufflepuff/slytherin)

they have absolutely no idea when it comes to deep feelings - they barely understand their own

probably paints, tbh, or at the very least loves to go to museums w/ really abstract art.

they actually have the braincell! they keep it a lot of the time and can be stingy with it.

they either wake up really early in the morning or stay up until the sun rises because it gives them “clarity” or something.

ravenclaw/slytherin:

they’re definitely the blunt friend who will just say things as they see them

yeah, tact is lost on them

they also love to claim that they “don’t need” people, so they butt heads with the hufflepuff/slytherin and the ravenclaw/hufflepuff a lot

they have quite a bit of stratagem up their sleeve, so people can be weary of them

their attitude does nothing to solve this, but it could also be that the slytherclaw has this idea that flattery gets them nowhere

they are so divisive in their individualism,,, good luck befriending them

but if you do befriend them, you have a powerful friend in your corner.

they are 100% that distant relative that you think hates you but you aren’t sure if that’s just the way they are

but let me tell you a secret,,,, their love language is words of affirmation and if you stroke their ego they’ll grow soft

while slytherclaws may not be very persuasive on their own, they actually work really well in teams. they know everyone’s strengths are are unafraid to take charge and tell people what needs to be done and how

they’re also really good at logical thinking, so you definitely want to be lab partners with this one

and schoolwork? they do it and they take good notes. a really great student

and their ambitions and competitiveness means they are unafraid to go far, and they will do it in style, too

this is the epitome of dark academia. 

and there is very little that is chaotic when it comes to them - the slytherclaw is an excellent planner

maybe they desire more out of life - they never feel like they are quite getting what they want

they are cynical, but they they have such high hopes for this world

when they are let down, they’re not surprised but disenchanted nonetheless

they ponder the meaning of the world and what this world could be far more than they ponder their own life

they tend to see a bigger, more sweeping picture

100% they love the odyssey and definitely think it’s better than the iliad

they adore high fantasy with every fibre of their being and can really get into period dramas

i would say that a gryffindor/ravenclaw would be a good friend for them - we all know a gryffinclaw can talk, and sometimes a slytherclaw just needs to hear someone else’s take on this world

and, of course, it helps when anyone shows appreciation

okay, but they love sweets - chocolate, liquorice, peppermint, caramel... it’s one of the few childish things they allow themself to have.

they are actually relatively quick to trust? the fastest slytherin, actually

they keep their group small, but they get vibes about people and once you show them loyalty they trust you entirely.

i suppose they guess you don’t have any games because they don’t have any

ooh, but if you betray them??? they are a mess, emotionally, and will not hesitate to lash out.

but they are caring in their own way, and will do little things like reminding you to drink water or bringing you toast if you haven’t eaten and it’s very sweet

hufflepuff/slytherin:

so i know we have this idea of the slytherin sweetheart, but a slytherpuff is so much more than that

one of their strongest traits is the intersection of ambition and hard work - they will not stop until they are the best (in their mind at least)

it’s almost a petty form of competition. a bit of schadenfreude when they win.

and everyone’s immediate thought is that a hufflepuff/slytherin would be the most trusting slytherins but no.

not even close.

slytherpuffs are guarded at first, while holding a secret soft spot for you in their heart. but they won’t act on it until they are 100% sure you won’t hurt them. they are suspicious, but really want to like people.

it takes a lot to break down their walls, but when you do they already have a steady foundation for your trust to grow on, and it’s the strongest thing in this world

because of this they can often come off as cold or distant, but once you’re in their circle, oh yeah. there’s the hufflepuff qualities you were searching for.

a good contender for the mom friend position, but they aren’t overt enough to be so.

they’re not getting into your business or being slightly invasive like real mom friends, but if you need advice or a hug,,,,, this is the friend to go to.

they’re like the nice aunt. vvv comforting, but only if sought out.

oh, they have the strongest moral code i have ever seen - it cannot be shaken or swayed.

but! it can often go against the rules, so you do have a bit of chaos working beneath the surface.

i 100% believe that their love language is quality time, and most of that can be spent quietly, just sitting in the other’s presence.

i feel like 90% of their conversations is hand gestures or subtle facial expressions, so it make take a while to be able to read them, but it also means they are soooo good at reading other people

seriously, if you need a therapist in the group, this is your person. they know people so well. their intuition is off the charts.

BUT ALSO,,,, their levels of introvertedness are sky high. i feel like this is a given, but they can be in your orbit for 5 months and speak to your twice and think that is a decent amount of exposure.

please get them an extrovert. they need the exposure.

sEcReTS??? this slytherin probably has some, but you have to be like at level 50 to unlock their tragic backstory

they also have academia vibes and do really well in school work, but whether or not it’s dark academia or light academia is disputed. maybe grey academia? (is that a thing?)

they struggle with wanting to be known and yet wanting to hide parts of themself they find unattractive or unwanted

probably feel like they’re pulled in too many directions and overthink their choices just a bit too much.

everyone knows they have the braincell, but whether or not they use it is unsure

it’s so easy for their friends to coax them, they probably give it to someone else and never ask for it back even though they should be in sole custody of it

AND FLUFF ENSUES. (i realize some of these are kind of aggressive, so... vibe check!)

-- taglist: @musicallisto, @theletterhart, @locke-writes, @randomfandomimagine, @brokenandheadoverheels, @timeofmadness, @writerdream22 // message me if you’d like to be added to the taglist!

[nagisasstunningpersonality]

TINSITOGS, a retrospective (happy birthday)

(yes I’m like two days too late I know I’m sorry) 

Why hello followers and ass class fandom, nice to see you there. I’m sure MOST people know about this, but in case you don’t, hi. On AO3 I’m better known as livixbobbiex, writer of maybe one of the most infamous Assassination Classroom fics. 

Which I mean like, if you haven’t read it yet you totally should it’s fanlore at this point I promise- 

Shameless plug that I don’t need aside, I felt that, on its first birthday since actual completion, I just wanted to share some things about it. Some tit bits about writing it, fun facts, maybe even some author advice TM. I appreciate that it’ll be super annoying if I do that in the tags, though, so that’ll all be under the cut. If you don’t want to read the whole post, then no matter what, thanks for the support in general! 

I also want to take the opportunity to announce that I’ve reopened my discord, so if you want to talk about my fics with me (and others), you’re more than welcome to join! (the link is here) 

The origin story 

I’ve stated this many times, I think, but TINSITOGS was never supposed to be a serious story. Taking you back, quite a long time, it actually started in a facebook DM with a friend. We used to come up with “head canons” with each other, which were basically just very condensed fanfiction plots over a multitude of text messages. I believe I was trying to cheer her up, and I tried to come up with some kind of plot line. 

At the time, I was fairly fresh to the Ass Class fandom, and I was joking about how there were no teen pregnancy melodrama fanfictions. It wasn’t that I wanted one, I just thought it was strange for a school centric anime with a bunch of ships to NOT have one. And, back then, I only really cared about karmagisa. So I just decided ‘right it’s happening’. The reason I decided to make it ABO was due to ‘it making sense’. Fun fact: it was almost written as AFAB trans Nagisa, but I decided against it as I didn’t rate my ability to handle it well back then. Looking back on it, I’m glad I made that decision. 

Over around two months, writing out the plot of this story took over my life a little bit. I had no idea where I was going with it, but I was having so much fun with the drama that I decided that Karma and Nagisa shouldn’t get together soon at all, and I had a lot of fun teasing my friend with the ‘will they won’t they’. It was only when I got bored that I invented this intense drama plotline to finish it all off. 

That period of time was a lot of fun. And whilst that friendship didn’t end well, I still have a lot to thank her for. She chose Daichi’s name because I had no idea, and she wanted to annoy me because I didn’t like Haikyuu. When I couldn’t decide on his hair colour, the purple was her suggestion because ‘why logic?’ Daichi speaking Korean was because of how much she liked Kpop. She even helped me choose the title of the actual fic, so there’s a lot you can thank her for, honestly. 

After I finished that story, though, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Whenever I daydreamed, I used to think about that damn Daichi Akabane, and how much I wanted to tell his story. I’d even come up with extra stuff to fill in a lot of the gaps, and developed his character in my mind. I decided that I was really desperate to write it down. Usually that worked when I had an idea I wanted to work through. 

I wrote the first chapter in late 2017, and then the next two as well. I just, kept going, and realised that I could go further still. TINSITOGS was never something that was supposed to be shared, but I decided I may as well. After all, that fated ‘teen pregnancy drama’ fic still didn’t exist, and I thought it would be funny to make it happen. 

Yes, as I’ve stated publicly a few times, TINSITOGS was a crack fic. If I wanted attention from it, it was infamy. We even joked about me cursing the fandom if it ever became the most popular fic (whoops?). What I wasn’t expecting was a bunch of people, in a fandom where at the time there were NO ongoing karmagisa fics and it was pretty dead, to really seem to enjoy it. It was enough to have me keep writing it, at least. I still don’t know at what point I actually started taking it seriously, but somehow I did, and the rest is history? 

The reception 

In my wildest dreams, I never thought that I would be the author of one of the most popular fics in the fandom. To this day, the amount of views TINSITOGS has is insanity to me. For the record, across all platforms it’s on today it has 238,000, which is literally a number I can’t even visualise anymore. Almost quarter of a MILLION. To this day on AO3, it’s the most viewed Ass Class fic that’s an ACTUAL ass class fic (the others are multi fandom compilations). So yeah, I achieved the original goal, I guess? 

Now you might be wondering, “omg the karmagisa fandom is fujoshi trash”. And, considering the origins, it is kind of funny. The thing is, though, TINSITOGS was written at incredibly good time. It was written when there were, essentially, very few long form Karma/Nagisa stories. If any other fics did get posted on occasion, they were usually just oneshots. I was also, at that point, writing very fast. A symptom of ADHD is becoming obsessively productive over certain things. Since I was able to get a 3k chapter out every few days/once a week, TINSITOGS was consistently bumped to the top of AO3′s default view. And some of those first few chapters were altered canon, and transcribing the canon dialogue didn’t take very long. The more views it got, the more people would read it out of sheer curiosity. 

I think it also helps that, at least after it started getting some positive feedback (which was honestly after the pre written chapters), I purposely tried to make it ‘not terrible’. I mean, I personally think the first chapter is pretty weak and if it wasn’t somewhat iconic to a lot of people I’d rewrite it. But in general, I purposely tried to make the world of ABO my own, to make it more accessible to those who don’t like that genre, and stay away from the inherently grosser stuff as much as possible. I genuinely do get comments about how I introduced people to the genre as a whole, still not sure if that’s a GOOD thing but hey, it happened. 

TINSITOGS turned into a lot more than just a joke. It turned into my favourite hobby. It turned into a research project (honestly, you would not believe the amount of mummy vlogs and legit scientific articles about child development I consumed). It turned into something that, at least I believe, was widely loved. 

Meaning 

I think it might be wrong to say that I don’t have AN idea of when I started to take the fic super seriously. For me, it was around the time someone commented something along the lines of saying my writing meant a lot to them, that they’d spent all night reading it and had been unable to put it down. 

Not to get too dark here, but I do have a past in writing a very long, somewhat popular fic (it’s still on my fanfic net profile if anyone’s interested, but I don’t recommend it). However, in the latter part of my teenage years, the depression struck. Writing was the love of my life, and I couldn’t bring myself to do it anymore. Maybe I’d be able to muster an idea or even a chapter at the best points of that, but I’d never completely finished any story. Starting to write again was a huge step in my recovery, and one of the reasons I convinced myself that life was worth it was being able to impact someone’s life somehow. Even to this day, I still remember the fics I read when I was, like, thirteen. How much I still remember them, and how much they meant to be at the time. I wanted to be that writer for someone else. To be honest, it was actually Yuri!!! On Ice that got me out of the super bad, but I still never wrote anything of real consequence. TINSITOGS was the first time in a long time I actually committed to something. 

And, to be completely honest, there were a lot of times I was tired of it, and wanted to just quit. But, the thing was, I felt like people depended on me in a way. I got so many comments that were just FILLED with support, telling me how much they looked forward to every update. It wasn’t just empty words, either, a lot of the times these comments would be super engaged with the actual writing. I can’t even describe just how much they meant to me, how much I would look forward to reading everyone’s opinions. And then discord happened, which was a lot of fun. 

TINSITOGS went a lot further than I ever thought it would. There were comments, discussions, fan art, fan FIC (which is honestly incredible to me). Someone even added it to TV Tropes, at one point. Not to mention the Cards Against Humanity deck and quiz It makes me so unbelievably happy that I could inspire that much creativity, but it’s a two way street. It was all of that which inspired me to write, too. 

Writing 

The only real goal I actually had was aiming for around 3000 words per chapter. I had a whole facebook log of plot points as planning, and I was mostly just trying to expand on them into prose. I honestly thought that, at its completion, the entire fic would be around 100k words, if that. Not, at one point, being literally the longest ass class fic on AO3. 

There are a lot of aspects that were directly adapted from the original messages, and I tried to stay faithful to it more so at first, even if I later removed some of the pure crack. But the style was also vaguely similar, with the story being told mostly from Nagisa’s perspective with swaps to Karma when it made sense. All the main plot beats, too, are pretty much identical. The plus to this was I was able to add a lot of really fun foreshadowing, and I feel like it’s a fun reread because of it. 

Honestly though, if there’s a demand to release those OG message logs, I will. Mostly because it’s kind of funny, and interesting to see. Isogai and Nagisa were engaged at one point, even. 

Obviously, it changed somewhat. 3000 was the minimum length, and the time to completion was whenever it felt right. One of my big concerns was about pacing, so it took a lot more fleshing out and maybe ‘filler’ content for some of the main arcs to work. 

There’s parts of TINSITOGS I don’t think aren’t written that well, and some that I’m still super proud of. I think you can definitely tell there’s a gradual shift in style, and I get a lot more comfortable with writing them as characters as it goes along. To be honest, my pride for the fic overall is what it represents. 

It is funny to think about the places it got written in, though. I started it when I worked at McDonalds with no life direction, then it went through my first year of university with me. It’s been written in at least four countries. Aeroplanes, night clubs, long haul buses, a train through the Japanese southern coastline. Even the start of covid. TINSITOGS managed to see a lot. I even turned a scene in (the boat scene during the India chapter with altered names) to my university as a legitimate assignment. 

There were also a few messages I wanted to achieve, once I realised I had the platform to put them across. One of them was, obviously, ‘use protection kids’. It was important to me that I didn’t glamorise it too much, and I think that came across. I also wanted to dispute some of the issues with ABO, and subvert the consent issues as much as I could. An arc I really ‘liked’ writing was how abuse doesn’t always look the same way, and that it can be a drawn out change in behaviour. How the most important part of ‘being a good parent’ isn’t perfection, but genuinely loving and doing the best you can for your kid. How love doesn’t solve everything, and effective communication can take a very long time to learn and build a functional relationship. I mean, there definitely was a lot I tried to put in, and you’re free to interpret it all how you want. But, I like to think some people learnt some of these things, at least. 

Daichi 

Honestly, Daichi developed almost of his own free will. I had a good idea of his appearance, and that he was smart. Writing him from birth until around nine years old (older if you read the sequel fic) pretty much allowed that fluidity. It was really fun to explore a nature vs nurture development, and let his own characteristics speak for themselves. 

He’ll always have a special place in my heart. 

This is the first image I ever made. When I was trying to figure out what Daichi looked like, I honestly just edited Karma’s hair (pretty well, actually? I’m impressed with my past skill). That’s where the ‘he looks just like Karma’ meme kind of came from. 

This was the first image I actually created of Daichi. I THINK it was on rinmaru games mega anime creator or something, but it’s literally not available on the internet anymore as far as I can tell, so I can’t double check. This was in the pre-piccrew days. His eyes are closed because they didn’t have the right tone of goldish/silver.  

His sister, Kaguya, didn’t even exist originally, even though I decided on that ending pretty early on. Actually, she was going to be called ‘Irina’ due to some hijinks. Initially, when Karma found out about Irina’s pregnancy, she was going to get super emotional and mad at him and basically force him to name his first born daughter after her. Karma agreed to shut her up, never intending to have another child, so when the surprise second child later came along they had to live with the pain. However, to be honest I just forgot to write in the actual scene that set it all up, and I decided against adding it anywhere else. The name Kaguya was a very last minute decision, and it was a chance for me to explore some ideas that didn’t fit with Daichi’s character. 

Interestingly too, Daichi and Nao were never intended to be a thing. I only decided that towards the VERY end. Even though the reason I named Nao that was because of a ship I had in a J Drama (Good Morning Call). It just kind of ended up happening because I won myself over with imagining the cute. 

The music 

I used to write with a lot of background music, though not all the time. Particularly towards the start, there was a lot that didn’t really make sense thematically, yet I would write to a lot. 

Here’s a link to the spotify playlist if you want it it’s basically all the ones I noted I’d listened to a lot. Not including the smut ones, though, I have a whole playlist for that. 

Some of the notable ones: 

Five String Serenade - the first scene I wrote of the entire fic, in Chapter 25 New Year Time where they fell asleep cuddling. 

Cosmic Love - when I wrote Nagisa’s love confession scene in hospital (I also wrote this pretty early on) 

Northern Downpour (though it was actually a cover by Emma Blackery) - The chapter after Daichi’s born (30) 

When The Party’s Over -  Confession Time Third Period, Chapter 69. I literally listened to this song on REPEAT when I planned and wrote the kind of ‘break up’ scene, and it’s one of the few parts that made me cry writing. 

Turning Page - I know I said no smut, but this song actually gave me the idea to have the “I love you” in chapter 108 be less on a whim and actually more built up. In the original plan, Karma really did just say it without thinking. I’m glad I changed that.  

Bury Me Low and Numb - pretty much all I listened to when writing the last few chapters, because Evil Nagisa core. So much so that Bury Me Low was in my top 2020 songs rewind. 

As for the title, there’s actually quite a funny story. I had no idea what to call the fic, and when that happens I usually just try and find some song lyrics. I really wanted to use something from ‘October’ by the Broken Bells. Not only because it’s my favourite song (has been for years), but thematically it really worked. The issue was, it worked as the WHOLE song, there were no individual lyrics that captured everything. And, if they did, they didn’t flow very well. And naming the fic ‘October’ would have been weird for a lot of reasons. There Is No Sweeter Innocence That Our Gentle Sin really was just plucked randomly, in a desperate search to find any snappy lyrics from any song that had some kind of meaning. After a bit of discussion, we settled that it kind of worked... if Daichi is innocent and they committed a sin or something. It also wasn’t the most obvious lyric from the song (Take Me To Church if anyone doesn’t know) so I just went with it. It works out, I think, because TINSITOGS turned out to be a pretty good acronym and pronounceable word in its own right. 

The merch  redbubble drama 

It’s a well known fact that I’m not very good at art. However, I decided to try pixel art because it seemed the easiest to not mess up. I made Karma and Nagisa, before deciding to also give Daichi a try. 

This, to this day, is the only good quality art of Daichi that I actually own. The only one I’m actually happy sharing and thinking it doesn’t look terrible. As much as I love people sending me fanart, it’s not ‘my property’, right. 

So, I was kind of joking about TINSITOGS having merchandise. At first I just made two funny quote things, and uploaded it to redbubble. I was never intending to actually make money from this, and I’d agreed to myself that if I did, I would just donate it to charity. I was joking with the quotes, but since I had this artwork I figured I may as well uploaded. Separately, there was also an image that had pixel Daichi next to pixel Nagisa and Karma (which I also created). 

Aside from showing up in a few people’s adverts across the internet, there was no real harm with this. In fact, I didn’t make money anyway. It was just... more the joke of it existing. I did, however, buy myself a Daichi phone case, which is one of my favourite possessions. 

The funny ‘drama’ comes in when they got taken down due to copywrite. Sure, the one with Nagisa and Karma, I understand. But the other three literally had no mention or anything to do with Assassination Classroom, aside from being from a fanfiction. So basically, someone who owns those rights claimed my OC as theirs. Which makes Daichi canon? Whatever the case, I found this hilarious don’t worry. 

How has TINSITOGS changed my life? 

This is quite a strange thing to think about. Because, in a lot of ways, it really hasn’t. As I’m sure a lot of people know, I don’t really consider myself to have any real ‘fame’, despite the impressive numbers. Whenever I tell people in my personal life, they seem to think I’m some sort of internet celebrity, but that’s never been the case for me. I mean, it’s hardly a cultural phenomenon. 

In a lot of ways, I’d much rather befriend someone than have them admire me. Possibly because being someone’s inspiration is kind of weird... I’m just an awkward duck who likes to write after all. I don’t mind it, though. I genuinely find it an honour, even if I don’t necessarily agree. I also want to take this time to say that if anyone ever wants to talk or message me, you’re more than free to do so. I’m usually super casual with people who do that, I promise. 

TINSITOGS was the first story I ever finished in the way I truly wanted to. Start to end, a full narrative. And it took a LOT. There were so many times I almost felt like quitting, or took super long breaks. For me, ADHD queen, actually finishing something was a huge deal. And I know I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t owe it to everyone who read it, and myself, to see it through. You know like, if I were to die tomorrow, at least I’ve left something behind. 

In a lot of ways, it’s changed me for the better. It’s helped me develop my writing styles, and way of thinking. It encouraged me to become more active in the fandom, and develop some important friendships. I always feel like my Tumblr and Fanfiction ‘known’ factor is separate. I think most of my Tumblr following is more to do with my theories/Japanese context research if anything, for example, but I know I wouldn’t be so interested in that if TINSITOGS hadn’t lead me to deeply examine character and really look into analysing source material for clues. I also think there’s just... a lot of myself in it. 

I was 17 years old, when I first came up with the idea. I finished the story when I was 20. Now, at the time of writing, I’m 21. That time has seen some pretty significant changes - just in general life facts and my own personal human development. For me at least, a lot of that was pretty turbulent, and TINSITOGS stands as a time capsule for that, in a way. 

I know I gained a lot of confidence, and it affirmed to me that writing is what I love. Telling stories and sharing them is what I love. 

Conclusion

Do I think TINSITOGS is an outstanding piece of writing, or the best fic ever? No. I really don’t. It’s strange to say because I definitely spent a lot of time on it, but it’s not like I put my full unbridled efforts into the story. I don’t fully plan, use a beta, or even read through on my own. And that’s okay - that’s not what I write fanfiction for. Fanfiction is my place to have fun with characters and stories I like, without the pressures of having to stand on my own complete originality. Yes, I’m fully confident that I can write at a “higher quality”, if I really wanted to. I’m also aware that some authors put their full effort into their fics, and that’s just as valid! 

It feels odd to say this about my own writing, but I honestly think there’s just something in this story. It might not be written in the best prose ever, and the premise might be kind of dumb for a lot of people. But, I think, there’s some part of this fic that managed to grab people. Somehow, at some point, many readers get captured into the emotions and so drawn in that ‘they just have to finish it now!’ Again, I’m not sure myself how I actually achieved that. Of course, that won’t apply to everyone, but I do feel there’s some truth in it. And it makes me happy, to have caused that. 

If TINSITOGS is your favourite fic, or if you genuinely think it’s the best story you’ve read, then thank you. I really appreciate your support, and I’m happy to have been a part of your life, I guess. I know how much fanfics can mean to a person, and that’s why I’m not going to take it down, or edit it at all. And it’s fine too, if you loved the fic for a while and moved on -i t happens. Whatever the case, I’m very honoured to have been able to occupy a moment of your life. Or if you find this fic in 10 years time, even, I still wholly appreciate you. 

This story was incredibly important to me, and thank you for reading if it was ever important to you too. 

You may ask, what now? Well, this is only intended to be a detailed look back for whoever’s interested, and it’s likely the only one I’ll actually do, a year after completion. Of course, if you ever want to ask me anything or just discuss the story, you’re honestly good to contact me in whatever way I have available. 

I’m still writing my ongoing stories, of course, despite taking a small break due to the university work load. I fully intend to complete the stories I’ve already started to tell, at least. After that... I’m not sure if I’ll still write fanfiction. Don’t panic, this isn’t a ‘I’m quitting writing’ thing. I may, however, have bled the Karmagisa genre a bit too dry at that point. Who knows? I am pretty interested in writing something original for once, so maybe that’ll work out. 

For now, at least, thank you to anyone who read this fic. To anyone who commented, liked, or interacted with me over it. To anyone who created or learnt from it. I’m really glad that I got to share this story with you all, and ultimately left some kind of mark, no matter how big or small. 

Happy birthday, TINSITOGS. I had a lot of fun writing you. 

[excitedlysuffering]

Deidara Headcanons Collection

Oh god I’m like minutes from being too late but HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEI🥺❤️😍

What He Looks For In A S/O~

• He would most likely want someone who was an artist, cuz he needs someone who understands and relates to his passion and will challenge him on perspectives (respectfully, ofc)

• Needs someone who is as active as he is, he could not deal with someone who wanted to stay home all the time

• Dei is a wild child so whether he knows it or not, he’s going to need someone to balance him out with a more calm/logical outlook on life

• But that’s not to say he wants to date a square cause that’s a big fat LIE

• He needs an S/O who’s able to keep with his spontaneous attitude and mood swings

• He’d probably be drawn to the innocence of his S/O, he’s seen and done a lot of hard things in his life so would love to be able to leave the darkness behind around you

• If his S/O was a shinobi he’d be relieved cause they can take care of themselves, but he would also want to accompany you on missions because this boy can WORRY

• If you’re not a shinobi, he wouldn’t mind all that much cause he doesn’t have to be concerned with you getting injured on missions, but he would want to teach you the basics defense combat

• This boy just needs some love with a capital L, tbh

Relationship With Dei Stuff~

• He’s surprisingly empathetic and can pick on your emotions/moods quite easily but that doesn’t mean he always acts on it

• He’s a naturally happy person so negative emotions are a bit hard to deal with

• If you’re just grumpy, he’ll just stay out of your way (a bit) but if you’re really struggling or on suffering through Satan’s Week he’ll try to do his best to comfort you

• (be patient with him)

• Even though he can’t take you out on dates to the city like he wants to, he’ll improvise

• Boi isn’t an artist for no reason

• Ofc he takes you out to see his art and to fly on his creations, but he’s a romantic at heart and loves cheesy cliches

• Watching the sunset on picnics

• If he’s free camping in the forest

• Or just art dates where you guys will find a common project and will work on it together

• Bonus points towards you if you and Sasori can at least tolerate each other

• They might never admit out loud, but they are best friends

• Even if no one could ever tell

• The three of you are around each other a lot so if you and Sasori are always arguing or getting on each other’s nerves your relationship could suffer a little because of it

• LOVES to spoil you. Like just because

• If you and Dei are dating, you two make a great team whether it’s art collabs, missions, or just life in general

• He can be a real sweetheart and is more sensitive than people give him credit for so if you just love on this boy you’ll have him forever

How To Lose/Annoy Him~

• Insulting or just plain not acknowledging his art goes without saying, I would think

• I haven’t seen this mentioned before, but hating on or trying to avoid his mouth hands. Although they’re a huge part of his life they’re also strange so he can be a bit insecure

• Being insensitive about his speech tic (un, yeah, hm) he’s already come to term with them, but he doesn’t need you, or anyone else rubbing it in

• As stated earlier, not being able to get along with Sasori, or him just generally disapproving of you more than he does the average person

• Being overly clingy. Example, when he’s working on his art and you’re all over him, infringing on his special time

• Playing hard to get or trying to make him jealous. Dei is naturally impatient so it makes no sense as to why you’re trying to get a rise out of him. He can pretty blunt and he expects you to just come out and say it if something is bothering you.

• Slightly nsfw, but pulling on his hair. He doesn’t like his hair being ripped out in the slightest

• Being friends with Tobi

Soft Deidara Things~

• Definitely one for matching shirts (i.e His= Art is a bang! Yours= I’m a bang!)

• He loves to just cuddle up with you after a long day, no words he’ll just collapse on you

• PLAY. WITH. HIS. HAIR.

• Brush it, braid it, comb it, whatever, but it’ll soothe the heck outta him

• He really loves to pick out your clothes. Dei is a fashion master and he loves seeing you in clothes he likes

• Will be that one person to sleep crazy to the point of kicking you off the bed. Now you sleep literally on top of him so he’s pretty still

• Loves to wake up before you to look at you like ‘wow she loves me??’

• Can actually cook really well (i mean he did live on his own for a while) and loves having you try new recipes he’s come up with

• Just loves being around you, you’re presence can calm him like no other

Random Dei Facts~

• His love language is a mix of words of affirmation and physical touch

• As much as he likes to go go go, he also appreciates a good nap here or there

• He’s bad at taking care of himself like he’s on the brink of artistic genius and he’ll genuinely forget to eat or sleep

• Has a big thing for music, whether it’s a song or just instrumental he loves the environment it brings

• He doesn’t quite have PTSD, but somethings do trigger him or make him anxious. You just can’t live like he does and not be effected

• That one scene where he’s recruited and is under Itachi’s Sharingan/genjutsu and calls Itachi art and then is repulsed by the thought really makes me think that one of Dei’s biggest fears is thinking/realizing someone’s art is better than his own

• He isn’t religious but is a strong believer in fate, karma, and such things

• Contrary to popular belief, he doesn’t use his hand mouths for anything other than art. Those are his art tools, his partners, and he’d be much too weirded out to use them for anything different

• He’s like a scarily healthy eater. Not necessarily vegetarian/vegan but is a calorie counter and has a very balanced diet

• He loves to do little not so harmless pranks on Itachi as mini revenge. He’s even more ruthless as Itachi begins to lose his eyesight

Little Things~

Favorite:

• Place to kiss- Behind your ear because he loves hugging you from behind and surprising you

• Way to hug- As previously stated, from behind cuz he feels like he’s protecting you and you fit in his arms like a puzzle

• Thing to do with you- Discuss or work on art projects together or in each other’s general vicinity

• Cuddle position- Lotus (you in his lap, facing him, your legs around his waist) cause he just loves to hold you and you can easily mess with his hair

• Type of date- Anything that’s just the two of you spending quality time away from his busy life

This or That-

• More of a summer person, he loves the outdoors, even more now that he has someone to share it with

• Definitely a night person. He gets more done at night but also loves being able to unwind with you

• Likes to cook more than being cooked for, cause he likes treating you

• Is not much of a reader, it can’t hold his attention for long, but occasionally will ask you to read to him if he likes the sound of your voice. He does

Conflict Happenings~

• Passionate and Stubborn Boi™

• If you’re also headstrong, there will be plenty of arguments, usually over small things

• Best case scenario, something says something that makes you both laugh and problem solved or you end up making out (cuz oh my jashin scowling Deidara can step on my NECK)

• Worst case scenario, someone storms out and you don’t talk for a bit

• When he wants he can give a verbal tongue lashing harsh enough to make anyone cower

• Eventually, one of you will cave. You miss each other too much and even art isn’t filling the void

• Apologies are mumbled but heartfelt as to not bruise either of your egos but also cuz you’re both genuinely sorry

• However, if you’re not confrontational, it might actually cause him to mellow out a bit (only around you though)

• He can’t bring himself to have a one-sided argument with you. It makes him feel guilty and does a lot of damage

• Instead, he might actually talk things out, courtesy of self-calming techniques you probably showed him at one point

Modern Dei~

• He’s that one college student that is at every party but still gets great grades??

•!He has a double major for sure, art and chemistry, cause how else is he going to make perfect explosions?

• If he wasn’t recruited to a sports team (I could see him doing gymnastics or wrestling honestly) then you had best believe he’s a serious martial artist

• He’s smart and sells (non-explosive) sculptures for money on the side

• He loves road trips, doesn’t care as much about the destination, he just loves driving places

• A serious ride or die friend, like loyal to a fault, but if you ruin that he won’t make any efforts to restore it

• Incredibly independent and struggles to ask for help even if he’s bad at a particular subject

•’CEO of completing assignments the night before its due and still acing it

• His living space is purely organized chaos like everything has it’s own system even if it looks like a mess

• Wouldn’t mind having a roommate, but he’s also used to living alone so he’s fine either way

• If he did, it’d probably be Sasori, cause he’s one of the only people who could TRULY handle Dei 24/7 (barely)

• Isn’t an overachiever, but just like with art, if someone’s going to see his work, it’s going to be his best work

• Even when his friends drink, he’s not that big on it. Feels like it hinders his inspiration and he gets AWFUL hangovers and can barely handle it

• Modern Dei is a great Dei, cause no matter what our blonde baby is best. Period.

[ship-trek]

I would like to know everything about your ships with Spock, Uhura and Bones please!!! KJFEWHKJFW if there's lore or fic I wanna read it and if there's art I wanna see it those three are VERY GOOD (I have a lot of love for TOS) @goldenworldsabound

@goldenworldsabound

!!!! I! Thank you for this lovely ask!! I also have a lot of love for TOS, it was the first Trek I watched and it's always going to have a special place in my heart!!

If you really want to know everything, we're going to be here for a while, so this is going under a cut for length. I should never have been enabled like this. None of them have any fics yet and I can't really draw all that well, so there's no art either, but I'm always happy to ramble about them and call it lore, so here we go!

Ok, as I'm writing down the lore for my ship with Spock, it's becoming a lot longer than I thought it would be - as in it's over 1000 words and we *just* got to Starfleet Academy. I'm going to trim it down a bit to try and get a shorter version and I'll probably turn the rest into a fic. Even with the cuts, though, this is really long. You've been warned.

Once I finish my WIPs with Nerys, I have some plans for some TOS fics, so hopefully my lovely friends will get their fair share of fics soon! I can tag you in any TOS fics I write if you'd like, but of course there's no pressure!

Bones:

I selfship with Bones in the way I do to cope with some specific issues, so lore-wise it's a bit different than my other ships. I don't really have an s/i, it's just me here in our world. He's off on the Enterprise doing all those fun space things, but I can call him whenever I like and he always tries to get back to me as soon as possible if he misses the call at the time. He doesn't miss them often, though - he and I set up a system so I can mark calls as high, mid, or low priority and he'll interrupt almost anything to take a high priority call. I hardly ever use it, but it's nice to know I can reach him if I really need to. And he's amazing to talk to! He's really supportive and always willing to listen to me, and he gives the best hugs :)

I'm actually really excited because he's due back on Earth soon, and he promised to come visit! He can't visit often so every time he does he goes out of his way to make our time together special. It's one of the little ways he shows he really cares about me.

This is a fairly new ship for me, so I still haven't figured out what I'm going to do about Joanna. I'm unlikely to add her as a familial f/o, but we might end up as friends or I might just ignore her entirely. It's my canon now :)

Uhura:

So! I am a massive language nerd. I've been teaching myself both Vulcan and Klingon in addition to studying Latin, Japanese, and Spanish in school at various points. (Yes, Swahili is next on my list. Yes, this is because of Uhura.)

Nyota and I met at Starfleet Academy (more details on how I got there in Spock's lore as both ships use the same s/i) during one of our xenolingustics classes. She seemed super cool, but she had a friend group already, so I ended up being too scared to approach her. I haven't always been the best student, so I got into the habit of taking any extra credit opportunities that came my way. Our xenolinguistics teacher offered extra credit if we went to a presentation being hosted by the xenolingustics club, and I figured I had nothing to lose, so I showed up. Nyota saw me there, recognized me from class, and encouraged me to join the club. She seemed nice and I was free, so I said I'd try it out. I came to a few meetings and we ended up becoming friends!

I was never close with her friend group (we didn't have a lot in common and i just didn't fit their vibe) but she worked hard to make sure we still had time to hang out, and I never felt like she liked me any more or any less than the rest of her friends. How she balanced it all, I don't know. I still think she might be superhuman.

She was a year ahead of me and we ended up falling out of contact a little bit when she graduated. Between her (and later my) assignments, there was just never enough time, and as some of you may know (Sorry!!) my ability to stay in touch with people online is atrocious. We didn't stop talking entirely or stop being friends, but it wasn't until we were both assigned to the Enterprise that we were able to reconnect, and we're even better friends now than we were back then. I didn't exactly figure out who I was, but I grew more comfortable with the process of growing as a person and not having all the answers, and as a result I ended up way more confident in myself and with a lot less self loathing. Turns out, that makes you a lot more fun to be around! I still have a lot of work to do in that area, but I'm a lot better than I was back at the academy.

She and I hang out a lot on the Enterprise, sometimes with Spock or Nurse Chapel and sometimes just the two of us. We sing together, play games, talk in half a dozen languages (just because I don't know them yet doesn't mean my s/i can't!) and just do all those normal fun friend things. Sometimes we even teach or help each other learn new languages (I'm learning a new dialect of Klingon and she's learning Latin). One thing I've always really appreciated about her is the way she handles spontaneity with me - when she wants to hang out or change plans on short notice, she always gives me a really good sense of what she's suggesting we do and gives me the chance to raise any concerns or questions about it before we have to make a decision.

Interesting quirk of our friendship: I can usually be flexible about what we do but really need to know in advance who is going to be there, and she can usually be flexible about who's going to be there as long as she has a good sense of what we're going to do. It took us a little while to figure that out and start warning each other appropriately, but once we did things got a lot better!

It's really a crime that the writers didn't give us more Uhura-centric episodes because there are just so many things I want to know about her! This is also a new-ish ship for me, so the lore isn't quite as finalized as I'd like. If you see me changing things about our ship later, that's why!

Spock:

Ok, important warnings time. My selfship with Spock fills a very particular emotional role for me that causes me to be unusually protective of him and our relationship. I'm aware that this isn't exactly emotionally healthy, and that's something I'm actively working on. Part of the benefit of my ship with him is that he can fill this role rather than me putting it on a real person, which, yeah, wouldn't be great. A lot of this has to do with him putting me first.

To be clear, I view my ship with him as happening in one of many similar but distinct universes (there's a TNG ep I'm thinking of here) that's separate from both canon and other people's ships with him. That's why I say that our s/is probably can't be friends (unless we have some universe crossover stuff going on). I would never want to get in the way of another person's ship with him! And this is the division of things that makes it easiest for me to wholeheartedly support others' ships with him, which is something I very much want to be able to do. (What I'm trying to communicate, badly, is that I want to be clear that I don't view the way he thinks about me as being true anywhere outside of my ship with him.)

I do refer to him as my best friend, the platonic other half of my soul, and other similarly intense terms, which he reciprocates. We also have a minor telepathic bond (I have Headcanons about Vulcan telepathy and no one can stop me from using them). Our relationship really is strictly platonic, but if that's going to make you uncomfortable, the time to stop reading is now! I'm also always happy to work out more detailed tags if needed.

Now! On to the actual ship stuff. I've changed around the lore a little bit recently to be a little truer to the way I've been shipping with him for the past 6-7 years, so hopefully this is the final(ish) lore. There are several moments where if canon says otherwise I simply do not see it. I am looking away. My canon now :)

It's late, later than I should have been out, but I'm too young to know better and too excited to care. My cousins are playing in the sand out ahead of me, but I've had enough of the noise and the people for right now, so I'm doing what I do best: wandering off when I shouldn't. The beach is busy but the nearby hills are quiet, so I start to climb. Even at that age, I hate sand, and the stone staircase is a welcome relief.

I was so focused on the climb to see him and by the time I reach the top, I'm too exhausted to do anything but flop on the ground. As soon as I do that my eyes turn skyward and then I'm too focused on the stars to do much of anything else. Even with the lights around, it's a dazzling display. Most call it science, but to my untrained eyes there's a much simpler word: magic.

Between the exhaustion and the stars, it takes me several minutes to realize I'm not alone. A Vulcan boy I don't recognize is sitting on a bench a few feet away from me, staring at something in his lap and staying very still. I watch him for a while and when he still hasn't moved, I walk closer. He twitches - clearly, he knows I'm here - but keeps his eyes fixed firmly on his PADD. If I were older, I would have gone down the hill and this would have been the end of it.

But I wasn't older. I was young, and dumb, and perhaps most dangerously of all, I was curious. I didn't go down the hill. Instead, I walked up, pulled myself up to sit on the far end of the bench, and asked the question that would end up shaping the rest of our lives:

"Have you ever looked up?"

And he did.

I rambled about the stars and asked about his logic homework, and he watched the stars and patiently answered my questions. By the time we parted ways, I was smiling with his contact information tucked safely into a pocket and he watched my go with the corners of his lips pulled up into that classic Vulcan not-quite-smile.

My mom recognized his name and description as the son of Amanda Grayson, a friend of a friend, and she let me use her PADD to keep in touch with Spock until I was old enough for my own. He turned out to be a few years older than me and a lot of fun to be around with a subtle sense of humor that never failed to make me laugh. We'd hang out in person whenever I went to Vulcan or he came to Earth and we talked almost every day online when we were apart. He was (and is) my best friend, and we saw each other through the highs and lows of growing up. Even when his bullies got really bad and when my school social life went down the drain, we always had each other, and somehow that was enough.

Because of something something Vulcan brain development, the eligible age to apply to Starfleet is 20 rather than 16. (ooc this is my headcanon and I need it for our backstory to work, so shh.) I was certain he would apply for Starfleet Academy the moment he was eligible, and I think his decision to wait for a year shocked everyone. I asked him about it, wondering if there was something wrong. We'd talked for ages about how much he wanted to escape Vulcan, so why wasn't he now that he finally had the chance?

His response? "Not all humans treat me as you do. The bullying is unlikely to change, only its source. If I am to be bullied no matter my path, I will choose the one in which we are together."

I have never felt more honored in my life.

We applied for Starfleet together the next year. His father was devastated displeased that he did not choose the Vulcan Science Academy, my parents were upset that I was moving out so young, and we rolled up to Starfleet Academy as the resident pair of family disappointments. Good times.

The academy was a blast, though. We got to see each other! In person! Every day! I was there to stand up to the people who teased him, he was there to encourage me to make good choices, and we both were there to remind each other that sleep is a necessary biological function not to be ignored. We were both studying science, but he focused on the astrophysics side and I focused more on the biology side, so we didn't share too many classes, but we'd hang out all the time in between classes and we tried to take the same electives when we could. Having similar interests helped a lot on that front.

I was a weird child that had by now grown into a weird teenager, so I didn't have a ton of friends at first. Even when it started directly affecting his social life, Spock was never embarrassed to be seen with me, and though he claims that he would be treated the same without me... I doubt it. Still, though, it helped a lot to have him there, and he's never held it against me.

I did convince him to do a show with me once. He tries to hold that one against me but he had fun and we both know it. Besides, it's my job to drag him into illogical things sometimes :)

We graduated together but like so many close friends are, we were posted to different ships. It was a weird time for us. I was doing great, honestly. I was medicated for my chronic illness (finally!), in therapy (finally!), and I loved my ship and fellow officers. My job was interesting and engaging and I was having a blast. Spock, on the other hand, started to struggle a little bit. Though he always treated me like an equal, I think there was a part of his mind that always thought he was a little bit better than me, and seeing me succeed seemingly effortlessly where he was struggling was hard for him. We got through it, though, and he got some better accommodations (and later a transfer to a ship that fit him better) which made everything a lot better. I even ended up taking some engineering classes and wound up getting a degree in engineering too, just for fun.

Before we knew it, he was the first and science officer of the Enterprise and I was a lieutenant commander working for him. (I say working for him, but really it's a lot more like working alongside him. Most people in the science department assume that if you tell something to one of us and don't specifically say not to tell the other, we will, so you can basically report things to either of us.) I do some work for Scotty too, and Kirk likes to joke that I'm an honorary member of the bridge crew at this point. It was a funny joke right up until I started getting invited to briefings, but hey, who am I to complain?

Serving together is a lot of fun. I'm one of the only people on board who doesn't constantly pressure him to show his emotions, with the result that he is a lot more emotional with me. He knows that I don't view his moments of emotion as a reflection of how Vulcan he is or isn't, so he has nothing to gain by hiding them. Mostly, I don't comment on them, which is his preference.

While we're both happy to offer each other emotional support when needed, most of the time we end up just sitting with each other and letting them process it on their own. Between my emotional regulation issues and his I Am A Vulcan mentality, it's been a great way for us to show each other the support we crave without worrying about finding the perfect words.

Speaking of words, I'm one of very few people on the ship who speaks Vulcan. I actually learned it years ago because of him so we've been speaking it to each other for a while, and we take the Vulcan tendency to drop words to a truly ridiculous extent. Uhura tends to joke that we created our own language somewhere along the line, but it's a fun way to annoy Bones when he really gets on our nerves. He can't even complain about it because as it turns out having the ability to converse in a way no one else understands is very, very useful when a mission goes south. You can't really complain about something that's saved your life, now can you?

The telepathic bond (again, very minor and strictly platonic) came about when he had to meld with me on one such mission gone wrong. It wasn't planned, though we'd talked about it in the past and neither of us was upset by it. Bones tried to joke that our minds were so compatible that we were probably going to start dating now and immediately found himself on the receiving end of two death glares. Credit to him, he never made that joke again. We view each other like family anyway, so yeah. No.

But I like the bond we have! It's nice to know when he's uncomfortable but not saying anything and it's easier for me to tell when he's protesting for effect and really does want to go along with my bizarre illogical scheme and when he'd rather not. As someone with no real sense of social cues or sarcasm, it's a lifesaver. Besides, he's been a lot more comfortable with causal touch between us since it formed, which is great for me.

We also play a lot of D&D together. It's something I got him into but which he took to like a fish to water, and the lengths we go to to avoid scheduling conflicts for our weekly game night are probably a bit excessive, shall we say, but it helps that all the friends we'd normally have conflicts with end up getting invited too. He very rarely DMs, but when he does, you better hope someone in your party has a decent intelligence stat because his puzzles are amazing. Seriously, I don't think you've really played a puzzle based game of D&D until you've played one of his. Works of art, I tell you.

I could go on about him for hours, but I'll wrap it up here for time and length's sake. If you have any more specific questions, I think I've already effectively demonstrated that I'm incapable of shutting up about him!

[stilesssolo]

baby I’ll come back to you: coming soon

Well folks, since my current wip, where the wild things are, is winding down (there’s only one chapter left WHAT) and I’m taking off March/ early April from posting anything to focus on finishing up my remix fic(s) on time, I wanted to share a sneak peek of my next wip (mostly just so I could show off @dragonanddirewolf​‘s BEAUTIFUL beautiful art.) So here it is: the long-awaited Jonas Brothers au (sorta), which I hope to start posting in late April. I am really excited to start working on this fic, and even more excited to share it with everyone! Hopefully this little preview intrigues you and gets you as excited to read it as I am to write it! And tides you over while y’all wait for my next update, since I am incapable of really working on more than one project at a time. WHOOPS. Anyways, here it is, so enjoy!!

It feels like it’s been a bloody age since he’s actually seen both Robb and Theon in the same room. 

He spots them the moment he steps into the coffee shop, even though they’re tucked away in a back corner, away from prying eyes. Jon keeps his head down as he maneuvers through the crowded café, sunglasses still on even inside, just in case people are looking his way. It’s an old habit he has yet to break— out of the three of them, he certainly gets recognized the least nowadays, which is probably why all the tabloids claim he’s fallen off the face of the planet. Theon’s been doing movies, Robb was in a new band and is married to probably the most famous woman in the world, and Jon— well. He’s been living, best he can. Getting better, all of that bullshit. But truly, he hasn’t done anything like his brothers have in the past five years, so people don’t recognize him as much. Enough to squint at him in an I-know-you’re-famous way, but not enough to rush him like they do Robb whenever he steps foot outside his house. He outgrew his nineteen-year-old baby face and started tying his hair back, and all of a sudden it’s like he’s wearing a mask. 

Jon’s not sure how much longer that will last, though, because he has a feeling he knows why Robb’s asked them to meet him here today. 

“Jon,” he hears that familiar voice call, and he nods towards the two men at the back table, head still down. The last thing they need is the paps recognizing them, starting to spread rumors about the three of them all together again. 

“Hi,” Jon says, slipping into the booth, finally taking off his sunglasses. Light from outside streams in through the large windows, the busy sprawl of King’s Landing right before them. Theon slaps him on the arm in greeting; Robb smiles at him in that way he does now. That way that looks like everything’s fine, but where the light doesn’t quite meet his eyes. 

Gods, he can’t remember the last time his brother actually looked truly happy to see him. Probably before their last tour. 

He knows why, of course. Robb would never say it, but Jon knows that he blames him for the breakup. For everything. 

“Bloody hells, Jon, it’s been an age,” Theon says, grinning at him. “Where’ve you been?” 

“I’ve been here,” he responds, crossing his arms. “You’re the one who was off filming that movie for three months.” 

“Aye, how did that go?” Robb asks, gaze turning to Theon, that guarded look disappearing. “I haven’t seen you since you got back. You missed Rose’s birthday party, you know.” 

“I know,” Theon grumbles. “I’ll make it up to her, I promise. I have to maintain my favorite uncle status.” 

They chat for a while— mundane things, catching up. Theon tells them about the movie he’d just wrapped on. Robb shows them both a million new photos of his children. Jon keeps quiet, just listening. It’s… nice, to be back with both of them, the warm sunlight spilling in through the window, making Robb’s eyes shine like they used to when he was younger. It makes him forget, for a moment. Wish for those days back, when the three of them would spend every moment of their time writing music, pouring their hearts and souls into their careers. It was something so fleeting and magical, he’s not really sure he’ll ever find anything like that again. 

Jon realizes he’s lost track of the conversation when Theon clears his throat, looking at the two of them almost nervously, in a decidedly un-Theon-like way. “I’m glad we did this,” he says to them, “because I wanted to tell you both.” He pauses, looking at Robb, as if trying to gauge his best friend’s reaction before he even says anything. “I’m going to ask Sansa to marry me.” 

Robb’s eyes get comically wide, so much that Jon chuckles, ducking his head. But it only takes his brother a moment to recover, before he’s grinning widely, eyes sparkling in a way Jon hasn’t seen them in a long time. 

Or maybe that’s just because Jon seldom sees Robb anymore. 

“Wow,” Robb says, almost speechless. “That’s— that’s brilliant, Theon. Congratulations!” 

“Well, I haven’t asked her yet,” Theon says, giving Robb a look. “Don’t go cursing me or something now. She’ll go on and say no.” 

“You think she would?” Jon asks. Theon shrugs. 

“I don’t really, but— hells, I don’t know.” He gives Robb a look. “How did you know it was right when you asked Margaery?” 

Robb huffs in laughter. “Oh gods, don’t take advice from me on that,” he says, raising his hands in surrender. 

“What do you mean?” Theon demands. “You’re the only one of us who’s bloody married!” 

Jon looks down as the sudden feeling of coldness creeps in, like an icy dagger to the heart. Memories flash before his eyes, and he’s trapped back in the past, glimpses of hair like moonlight and teasing smiles dragging him down, drowning him. 

He still has that diamond ring somewhere— buried in the back of a drawer, probably, where he won’t stumble upon it. Seeing it is too painful, but getting rid of it— well. That’s painful in an entirely different way. 

“Aye, but Margaery made it easy for me,” Robb says. “She wrote a whole bloody album that basically told me she was waiting for me to ask her.” He laughs, shaking his head. “Y’know I still get asked if I married her with paper rings.” 

At that, Jon snorts, a little of the darkness lifting. He’s seen his goodsister’s engagement ring, and it is certainly not made of paper. 

Jon tunes out as Robb continues on, reassuring Theon. He doesn’t realize he’s being addressed until both men are staring at him expectantly. 

“Sorry, what?” he says, and Robb rolls his eyes amiably. 

“I asked, what have you been doing, Jon?” Theon repeats, and Jon shifts uncomfortably. Nothing, is really the most honest answer. Working out. Walking Ghost. Trying to keep his mind occupied and himself sober. 

It’s probably sad, to look at his life now, compared to what it used to be. When he was nineteen years old he was touring the world, singing for millions of fans, writing songs every single minute of every single day. Music was most of his life. And now he’s just— trying to get by, he supposes. It’s sad, but it’s what he’s become accustomed to. Just… making it through the day, one day at a time. 

“Er, not much,” he admits. “Not like you two, anyways.” 

Robb glances up at him, that guarded look back in his eyes. “Arya told me you’ve been writing again,” he says, quietly. Jon curses mentally— he never should have told her that. 

“Fuckin’ tattletale,” Jon grumbles. But he can tell from Robb’s expression he’s not going to drop it. “Aye, I have been,” he admits, heaving a sigh. “Not anythin’ good. Just… I dunno. I missed it, I guess.” 

“I miss it too,” Theon says, a smile tugging at his lips. “Acting is fine, but music… it’s something different, isn’t it?” 

“Aye, it is,” Robb agrees. “Margaery’s been workin’ on her next album, and it makes me think back to then. When we’d just crowd around the table in Mum and Dad’s living room, and Jon would come up with a lyric, and Theon would just hear how it should sound, and we’d write a song in an afternoon.” He sighs, a little wistfully, looking down. “Watching Margaery at the piano, it just…” 

“Feels like a part of you is missing,” Theon supplies. 

Jon doesn’t answer, but he knows what they mean. Maybe that’s why he began songwriting again. Not because he wants to have a music career anymore— just because it’s so ingrained in him, he doesn't really know what to do with himself if he’s not making music. And if he’s being honest, writing down lyrics, coming up with a melody on the guitar or the piano that mainly just collects dust in his living room… there’s a comforting familiarity to it. Like maybe his sense of self hasn’t been completely destroyed. Maybe some of the old person he used to be is buried down deep. 

“Do you ever think about it?” Theon asks, and Robb’s brow furrows. “Y’know. The possibility of… us. Getting back together.” 

Robb exhales slowly. “More than I should,” he says. “I… it’s really hit me, in the past few years. How much I miss it. And doing things by myself, or with other people, it’s just not the same.” 

“Aye,” Jon agrees, both Theon and Robb looking a little surprised at the fact that he’s participating in this conversation voluntarily. But he knows what Robb means. He did solo things after the breakup, just because he didn’t know how to do anything else. And it had been a lackluster replacement, nothing like he’d felt for the almost seven years he and Robb and Theon were together. 

“What about you, Jon?” Robb asks, and as casual as his brother may be trying to appear, Jon knows him better than that. He can hear the apprehension in his voice. And the hope. 

Jon exhales, trying to sort out his words in his head before he says something he regrets. “I… do miss it,” he says. “And sometimes I think about it. Gettin’ back together. But I always…” He hesitates. “Would it even be the same? Can we have that again, truly? Or was it just some miracle we stumbled upon we can’t get back?” 

“I wonder that too,” Theon admits. “If we got back together— would anyone even care? Would anyone want to listen to our music in the first place?” 

“I know what you mean,” Robb says, and his blue eyes flash with determination, desperation. Like he’s clinging onto this with all his might. “But I miss making music with you two. And I think if we truly did this, we couldn’t worry about the fans, or the people. We’d have to do it just for us.” 

Just for us, Jon thinks, trying not to roll his eyes. That’s a novel thought in Hollywood. All he seemed to do when they were a band was give and give and give himself away. Nothing here was ever just for him. 

Well… there was her. But now that’s gone as well. 

“I would do it,” Theon says, with a conviction that surprises Jon. “It would be hard, and who bloody knows what would even come of it, but I would. If this is you asking, Robb, then I say yes.” 

Robb blinks, a little taken aback, but then Theon’s words really seem to hit him, and he smiles. A laugh falls from his lips, eyes shining in a way that Jon rarely sees anymore. 

“What about you, Jon?” Theon asks, and that’s when Robb’s eyes dim. 

Jon sighs. “I dunno,” he says. “That’s… a big decision. I’d like to just say yes, but…” 

“I know,” Robb says. “And I don’t want you to say yes unless you really mean it, Jon. If you just… do this for us, nothing will end well.” 

His eyes drop down to the coffee table, heart heavy. Yes, he knows that’s true. Because isn’t that how it all blew up the first time? Jon couldn’t do it anymore, and instead of telling anyone, he soldiered on for Robb and Theon. For his brothers. And it all ended in fucking disaster. 

“I’ll think about it,” he promises, and the sincerity in his voice takes him by surprise as much as it does Robb and Theon. “Truly, I will.” 

Maybe it’s not a bad idea. He loved making music with Robb and Theon. It was his entire life for so long— some crazy dream they somehow made come true. The most surreal, incredible thing in the world, right there before them. And he does miss it. He misses having a purpose, an outlet, an… anything. He misses the time when his life wasn’t an endless void, a monotonous parade of going through the motions day-to-day, trying to learn to move on from something he never really thinks he’ll be over. 

Robb’s smile is warm when it meets his, and Theon claps him on the shoulder, looking uncharacteristically hopeful. And for a moment, Jon’s heart feels light, not like it’s made of iron, still heavy in his chest after nearly seven years. 

But then Robb’s expression shifts, and his stomach sinks once again. 

“There’s somethin’ else,” his brother admits. “Sansa just told me. And I figured you’d rather hear it from us, than see it plastered across all the tabloids in King’s Landing.” 

“What is it?” Jon asks, dread filling his stomach. He just knows, somehow, that this is it. This fragile peace he’s tried to build these past years is about to shatter, the rug pulled out from under him. 

Robb exhales, like he has to physically force the words out, and Jon prepares himself for the fallout.

“Dany’s back in town.” 

And with that, the world stops spinning.

[ldrmas]

OctoLolli Full Story

~~ This is based on https://www.instagram.com/p/CB_9reanS0H/ & https://www.instagram.com/p/CDC_IH5nLpg/  by  Ordinary__Art , please go check out her art!! All her art! SHES NOW ON TWITTER TOO AH I’M SO EXCITED!!

This is the full story from the part 1 post. The part 1 was just a tease but this is the full story! 

Btw OctoLolli is Remus and Logan, aka Intrulogical just so you all know! 

This will also mention Patton, Janus, etc. Remember I’m really bad at writing Remus so if he is a little oc I’m very sorry! I have no beta as well so if there are mistakes I apologize for those as well.  

Also Tagglist: @decadentscissorsapricotdeputy  Warnings for Swearing from Remus and Presmut attraction and activities!

 ~~

Logan could admit that he was becoming a hypocrite. He was getting on Thomas’s case anytime he had a chance to about sleeping in a perfect sleep schedule. And it had been that he would follow the same schedule, but lately that was not the case. After Janus had took his seat at the table, Thomas had been slightly more selfish. He had even admitted to his followers that he was finally taking a break.

Logan would never tell anyone, but he had been the one side who had been there to witness Janus’s break down dance in victory after Thomas made the announcement. It had made Logan begin to think. If Thomas could take a break for himself then Logan could be a little less strict. As long as Thomas was getting 7 hours of sleep like a grown adult should, then that was all that mattered. If seven hours were achieved then Logan was alright. He wouldn’t bother Thomas unless he deeply needed to step in and remind Thomas to sleep. That wasn’t the same for Logan. It didn’t just happen one night. It happened gradually.

He stayed up later and later and then it became that he would stay up for 24 hrs at a time. Being just a side, an imagined figment, he did not actually need to sleep. The sides slept so to perform at the best of their abilities. Not sleeping hadn’t hindered Logan yet so for now he would continue to perform his tasks until all the work was completed. But he didn’t always work in his room. It wasn’t his rooms fault. He couldn’t exactly blame his room which had been programmed by him. His room would in a way shut down at 8 every night. When he had been on a sleep schedule in the past, he had wanted it that way. But now not so much. He started working in the Mind Palace Common area, specifically at the table that was just outside the kitchen. He would only have a few lights on so he could see his screen but not bring notice that he was working in the room. The other sides usually were asleep when he was out there working, so he was never concerned about being found out. Then one night an interaction occurred that Logan didn’t quite suspect would happen.   The light sides and dark sides rooms were in two different parts of the MindScape. The Mind Palace usually looked Thomas’s apartment since it was the space they all basically knew by heart and could recreate without any trouble. Up the staircase was where one would find the “light” sides bedrooms. Janus’s room had just been recently added after the events of their latest video and though the others had been surprised, Logan hadn’t really been. Janus and Patton needed to start working together so that if Thomas came against another mature problem then they could confront it as a team instead of sending Thomas into another mental health breakdown. They couldn’t exactly learn to work together and start to get along better if Janus was still living and staying in the “dark” side. Logan didn’t like labeling them like they always had. Not one of the sides could be put in either category of light or dark. They were all just a part of Thomas and were doing the jobs given to them. No more no less. There was a “hidden” door attached to the stairs that led down to the “dark” side common space. The only thing about the dark sides space was that they didn’t have a kitchen. The only kitchen was in the light space. So both sides had to share the kitchen. Logan shouldn’t have been surprised that eventually he would meet one of the dark sides during his nightly escapades. Logan had taken a second to stretch and rub at his neck. The room was so quiet without his loud typing. It was in that moment that Remus slammed open the dark side door and stormed into the kitchen. In the second Remus had opened the fridge, the light of the appliance shined upon him and Logan was able to catch a glimpse of his outfit. His mouth immediately went dry and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Remus was in a simple suite jacket and pants. The jacket was nightshade of black with mother of pearl lapels. The undershirt was Remus’s signature green color but instead of looking bad with the other parts of the suit it just added the perfect amount of color the creativity side needed to make the outfit look drop dead perfect. Logan was also able to see just a quick look at Remus’s face. He had on what appeared to be a very light shade of blush on the high of his cheeks and his hair was slightly curled as well. If Logan had to guess he would dare even say that it looked like Remus’s mustache had been groomed as well.

The dark side slammed the kitchen fridge door shut and started chugging the bottle of water he had grabbed. He must have been somewhat pissed to have grabbed a normal substance instead of the usual stuff Remus consumed. He still had yet to notice Logan was watching his every move. Usually Logan would have wanted to keep it that way. Remus would eventually go back down the stairs and Logan could resume his work. It appeared though that wasn’t something Logan had wanted. He was curious of why Remus was dressed this way and he wanted-no needed to know more about what was going on. So as Remus left the kitchen to go back downstairs, he was just about to grab the door, Logan spoke up.

“Remus?” “MO----ER F----KER, J----US SH-T ON A M---THER F—KING CRACKER!” Remus screamed and Logan held back a chuckle as the light side common place had took the liberty to bleep out Remus’s curse words. That was no doubt Patton’s doing. Remus turned on the lights and faced Logan, looking at him in complete disbelief. “What the f---king h-ll, Logic! You are g-d da-n lucky I didn’t have my mother f--king morningstar or I would have clobbered you to death! Je—s, why am I’m getting bleeped! What I’m saying isn’t as strong because of it!” Remus growled as he looked to the ceiling, as if that was the whole reason he was getting bleeped. “Why the h-ll are you sitting there in the dark?” “I’m working.” Logan answered simply as he gestured to his laptop. He closed it knowing that now he had Remus’s attention he wouldn’t be doing work for a while. Remus moved to the table and sat across from him chugging the water once more. Once he was done with that, he struck the water down upon the table, he leveled Logan with a glare. He wasn’t happy about Logic scaring him. He was usually the one to terrify the other sides. “You’re working out here why exactly?” “Do I get to ask a question if I answer yours?” “Like what we play 20 questions or something?” Remus chuckled as he swirled around the water in the bottle as if it was a fine wine. “I just don’t believe it would be justifiable if I answer and then you just leave me hanging.” Logan replied with a slight shrug. It was reasonable. Janus and Remus were known for not giving answers if they didn’t want to. “Fair enough. I’ll answer all your questions as long as you answer mine.” “You know me, Remus, I could never leave a question unanswered.” Logan answered as an agreement which brought a chuckle from the dark creativity side. “Yeah Yeah, Pocket Protector, now I believe you haven’t answered my question yet?” Remus commented as he waved his hand over his water bottle which magically refilled it. He took another sip from it never losing eyesight with Logan. “Oh yes, of course, I’m working out here because my room basically shuts down at 8 o’ clock every night.” “Shut down?” “Yes, the lights turn off and my power outlets don’t work. You know what I say no electronics 30 minutes before bed, so my room does that. But there is work to be done so I work out here now.” “Okaaaaaaaaaayy….” Remus drew out the word as he took a second to think about what exactly the Logical side was saying to him.

“So you work out here and let me see it’s…” Remus used a tentacle that appeared from his back to move his suit sleeve back. He looked down to a watch that probably just materialized on his wrist to make his point. “…It’s 5 am and how many days have you been out here working all night long?” “I’ve been doing this since the wedding video.” Logan replied truthfully, though he looked away for he realized how bad that sounded.   “That’s what I thought. Yoink!” Remus had actually said the word “yoink” out loud and it was then that Logan realized that one of Remus’s tentacles had wrapped around his laptop, sliding it toward the mustached man. Logan was too late to stop it from happening. One moment the laptop was wrapped in octopus tentacles and the next it disappeared in thin air. “Hey! Remus!” Logan shouted, nearly shooting up from his chair. “Remus, give that back right this moment!” “Nope.” Remus smacked his lips to emphasize the ‘p’. Logan glared deadly at him and held out his hand in demand for his laptop back. Remus only smirked. “Relax, nerdy wolverine. It’s in a safe place in my room. In the next 24 hrs if you sleep for a full 7 hours then you’ll get it back.” Remus explained as he admired one of his several tentacles as if it was a hand of nails. “And how exactly will you know that I have slept for that time?” “I have my ways.” The dark creativity side chuckled ominously as his eyes meet the Logical’s side. Logan shuddered either in fear or in curiosity, he couldn’t exactly tell in the moment. Did he really want to know how Remus would know that he slept? Most likely not. “Alright. I’m not happy about this but there is nothing I can do at this point to change it. Now I believe since you have gotten to ask your questions it is my turn. Why are you dressed as such?” “Heh. Well it’s story-time…” Remus paused with a smirk to let the joke linger. Logan suppressed his own small smile. He had always wanted to hear what “story-time” would sound like from the intrusive thoughts being. “…Anyway so you remember that post Thommy-salamony posted on Instagram the other day?” “The Spotify one with the flower crown, yes.” Logan recalled with an agreeing nod.

“Yep, that’s the one. Anyway, Janus and I were talking about it today. Annnnd long story short you would think with how long I’ve been in creation I would have learned by now that I can’t beat Janus in any bet. Since I haven’t learned it yet, I lost the bet and now I gotta wear this monkey suit for another six hours.” Remus explained once he glanced at the watch on his human wrist once again. “I have been in this for so long that Janus has taken one million and one pictures of me on his phone and if I had to deal with him for one more second I would have done several unpleasant things to him. I came up here to get a f—cking break.” “I understand if this may be rude to say but may I too take a picture of you?” Logan took a chance to ask but wasn’t surprised when Remus growled at him.

“No, you may f—king not! I’ll tell Janus that you want some of his pics, I’m sure our snake-boi will share them.” Logan nodded knowing that was reasonable. Remus was probably on his last straw and the logical side didn’t wish to further anger the manifestation being of dark creativity. Remus laid out on the table with a deep sigh.

Logan could now see just how weary the green colored side seemed and he felt sorry for him.

“Well, despite you hating your attire, I am grateful that you came up here and I have gotten this chance to see you. You say your clothes are a monkey suit, but I must say you wear this suit quite beautifully. It compliments you very well.” Logic went on to say as he leaned back in his seat but didn’t look away from Remus. One could even say he was gazing at Remus as if he was in a trance of sorts. It was almost as if he was trying to take several mental snap shots of Remus to save for himself. It also could have been that he was trying to take in as much detail of Remus’s outfit as quickly as he could in fear that he would never see it again. Remus too was gazing at the navy colored side but for different reasons. “Back up there, Teach, did you…did you just call me …beautiful?” Remus asked nervously as if he was fearful that he had misheard Logan to begin with. Logan coughed into his fist, and since the intrusive thoughts had turned on the lights, they were both able to see the red start to spread across his cheeks. “I did, though I believe I said you are wearing the suit beautifully, which yes means you are beautiful in the suit.” “What the f—ck is that suppose to mean?” Remus asked wanting Logan to explain further on what he was saying. “Well…what I mean is…” Logan started as the blush now was fully engulfing his face. He also looked away from Remus so that he may gather his thoughts.

“…Your regular outfit suits you quite favorably as well, but your current outfit is, I must admit, quite surprising. In a superb way, I mean. I must say that you look so elegant in a way that I frankly never considered that you could….” Logan paused as he too came to the same realization of Remus. He now understood how what he was saying sounded. His blush deepened. 

“Ap-Apologizes, Remus. I-I don’t quite understand where that came from… I think…Please, excuse me.” Logan tried to get up from his seat to escape but Remus was faster. His tentacles had swiftly wrapped around the logical side securing him to the chair. Remus wouldn’t allow him to leave that easily. Though it wasn’t as if Logan struggled against the octopi appendages. Logic knew he would not be able to get away from Remus’s hold.  

He only gulped audibly as Remus came around the table and sat upon it right in front of the teacher like side. The intrusive thoughts being perched upon the table yet leaned forward cupping Logan’s jaw affectionately in his palm.

“Remus…”

“Oh, Lolo, I finally understand. You, Mr. Logic, are Thomas’s suit kink.” “I beg your pardon?”

“Oh, come on Lollipop,” Remus laughed as he leaned back on the table. “You of all sides understand what my job as “Dark Creativity” is composed of. Intrusive Thoughts, nightmares, blasphemous thinking,  etc etc. And we can’t forgot the juiciest of all?” “Sexual Desires.”

“Very good, Smart Heart Bear! Anyhow, sexual desires includes sexy kinks, fetishes, and or fantasies. I know all of Thomas’s kinks from A to Z. I mean let’s be honest my brother is a f—king deer in the headlights once romance gets to the R-rated scenes. I mean sure RowRow can sweep any partner off their feet but once we to the bedroom, then it’s me time!” “Now so back what to I was saying, kinks! There have always been one or two I couldn’t for the life of me figure out, but I had found where most of them had come from. Oh, do you want to know what Patton’s is?” “Not particularly.”

“Sure you do! Patton’s is baking sex. Or sex in the kitchen. Or whatever he wants to call it. Your Happy Pappy has some pretty nasty thoughts when it comes to cooking twine, let me tell ya.” Remus snickered while Logan suppressed a shudder as he even considered what scenarios that thought could lead to.

“But anyway, like I said, I could see where most of them had come from, but I never had yours. I’m so stupid, I should have seen it. You are turned on by men in full suits. This outfit is turning you on. How did I not see that the man that is always in a tie was my connection to Thomas’s suit fetish? It’s so boringly oblivious now that I see how flushed you are in front of me.” Remus observed while reaching with one of his tentacles to start undoing his cuff links. Logan watched like a man possessed as the cuff links came off and the sleeves wrists unbuttoned. His mouth dried as the sleeves were slowly rolled up by Remus’s elegant fingers. Once both sleeves were comfortably up on Remus’s arms, he also took a second to run his right hand through his curled locks. The simple act turned the tips of Logan’s ears red.

The Intrusive Thoughts side never looked as hawt as he did just then, and Logan would have probably given anything in that moment to freeze time, so that he may enjoy the sight for as long as he wished.

“Holy sh-t, you really are turned on! Heh, must suck to be attracted to the bad guy, huh Logic?” And just like that Logan was snapped out of his distressed state and sat up straight in the chair. The lust that he had once felt was gone and now he wished he had just one arm free. He wanted to reach out to Remus desperately. “Remus…I know this won’t sound as if I’m being sincere because you will think I’m just saying this because of your clothes but I’m still going to say it.”

“Remus, I never once thought of you as the villain.” Logan took the moment to make sure the green colored side was seriously looking at him.

“You are not a bad guy, Remus. You did your job as a side nothing more nothing less. You can’t help that you were dealt the dreadful cards but just because you were, it does not in any way make you evil. Or the villain or the antihero.” “Or even a dark sid-“ Logan gasped loudly as the tentacle suddenly released him and he was roughly pulled forward. A hand had wrapped around his tie and jerked him towards the table, nearly causing him to fall off his chair.

More than that, his gasp was silenced as lips fell upon his in a deep bruising kiss. It was a surprise and just for a moment something within Logan yelled at him to pull away, yet he quickly dismissed such a thought. Instead he leaned into the action and once he got his bearings returned the passion that Remus was sharing with him. It was only when he placed his hand on Remus’s cheek that he realized the other was crying. “Shut up.” Remus wept once the two finally separated but Remus didn’t let go of the tie. He held onto it in a death grip. “You gotta shut up! You-you can’t say things like that when your looking so f--kable, Lo.”

“No.” Logan replied once he was able to catch his breath.

“I won’t stop saying it. You need to know what I think! You need to know that even without the suit, I have always thought you were beautiful. That I secretly have had a small crush on you.” Logan admitted as he tried to turn his head away. Remus stopped him by grabbing his jaw once again. “F—k, Logan.” Remus whispered then brought their lips together again for another kiss. This one just as passionate as the first but was shorter. Remus smirked at the whimper Logan let out once he had pulled away. “Me too. I was mad crushing on you for so long, Apple Watch.” Logic chuckled at the nickname, knowing there was no meanness behind the words. They sat there in silence just holding onto one another.  If there was certainly a moment that Logan wanted to last for eternity, then it would have been this one. The two of them in each other’s embrace letting their feelings be shared by touch alone. “This sucks.” Remus finally groaned as he nuzzled his forehead against the blue colored side’s. “What do you mean?” “I want to f—k you so bad right now. I want to make love to you for so long that you wouldn’t even be able to get up if Thomas called for you.” Remus pressed his lips to Logan’s once more and though he made sure to make it last longer than the second time, he still pulled away too soon for Logic’s liking. “But I won’t. You need sleep. I may be intrusive thoughts, but I won’t take advantage of you when your practically dead on your feet.  I hate to say it, but we waited this long, what’s seven more hours, am I right?” Logan grasped onto the hand that was still secure around his tie. “You promise me that we will pursue this after I sleep? I won’t just wake up and have to go back to believing that I never even cross your mind?”

Logan’s fears were answered with another kiss, a gentle reassuring one this time. “Seven hours, then you’ll never be rid of me again, Glasses.” Logic chuckled at the answer, though it seemed forced. He didn’t want to continue these next few hours alone. Not when they had at last admitted out loud and to each other about what they felt for one another. Remus was right though, Logan was dead on his feet. These last few moments without his laptop had given his body the chance to let the months of backed up exhaustion wash over him. He was convinced he wouldn’t even had been able to stay awake through foreplay let alone other sexual activities. He had Remus’s word. Once he awoke, they would explore this relationship further, or at least he hoped this thing between them would turn into a relationship.

Logan jumped as Remus deeply chuckled. “Go, Logan. Go to bed. I can practically hear your thoughts from over here. We’ll talk when you’re up.” Logan rose from the chair but before sinking out he was the one who initiated a kiss this time. He even made sure to run his tongue along Remus’s lips causing the neon green side to groan loudly in need.

Logan pulled away with a victorious smirk. “Until then, Octo.” Remus smirked as the Logical side sank down through the floor. He ran his fingertips along his lips still faintly feeling Logan’s own lips against them. “I’ll see you soon, Lollipop.” ~ Bonus ~ Remus did his best to stay away. He really had but as the hours dragged on and on, he was getting more and more impatient. It was finally just one hour left. Remus wouldn’t dare wake the side but that didn’t mean he couldn’t go to his room. Right? Remus sank out in front of Logan’s door quietly. It was now the middle of the afternoon. The other sides were up and about doing their daily endeavors. He was thankful that Thomas hadn’t called for them all. He probably would have tried, and of course fail since he was imaginary, to punch Thomas in the face if he had even tried to call for Logan while the side finally slept.  

Remus didn’t think on that any further and instead tried Logan’s door. If he stood out here any longer one of the others might see him. It was a shock that the door opened for him. He didn’t wait too long to think about it and quickly shuffled into the room, silently closing the door behind him. He hadn’t awakened Logan by entering the room. That was a good start. He crossed the room with ease since there was a soft glowing night light on the far side of the room. Once he made it to the edge of Logan’s bed it was there that he paused. Would it be too bold of him to join Logan? He wouldn’t touch the sleeping Logical side but would it still be too much if he got into the blue side’s bed? Before his thoughts to tumble into the mess of what ifs, he took the chance. He let his shirt disappear but left on a pair of comfy sleep pants. He eased into the open space in Logan’s bed and happily sighed as he sank into the perfect pillows and mattress. He let himself drift between awake and sleep, but his eyes opened as he felt Logan turn towards him as the hour came to an end. Logan didn’t react once he felt another being in his bed, he just rolled towards it in curiosity. Once he saw the wisps of white bangs and the constellation of freckles upon ivory skin, a smile shaped upon his face. “Good morning, Octo.” “Morin’, Lollipop.”

~The End!!~~

[queenlua]

The Good Game Critics TM (a giant post o’ links)

yesterday i was complaining:

damn, how come the only people who are writing The Good Video Game Criticism TM are exclusively relegated to… abandoned Blogspots and Tumblrs that haven’t been updated in five years…?

and someone asked:

addadashofpepper: can you like, post links to some of these? cause the thing about these is that they are really hard to find!

oh boy, tumblr user @addadashofpepper, i would be DELIGHTED to share.  i dug through my RSS reader / bookmarks, and here’s what leapt out at me:

[under a cut because this got LONG and i got EXCITED]

ella guro: indie dev and creator of Problem Attic, which made a splash back in the day (a somewhat Braid-inspired platformer iirc).  she’s mostly removed herself from the game scene these days, but she still blogs about artsy-culture issues from time to time, and if you dig through the archives, some of her old posts on games (probably circa 2012-2015?) are so so good

prophet goddess / blood church: i discovered them literally two days ago, but i’m digging what i see (their ladykiller in a bind review was the first post i stumbled on)

dead genre chronicles: a group of three friends did a monthly JRPG podcast, where they’d play a JRPG in its entirety and talk about it.  see, they found mainstream discussions around JRPGs annoyingly stilted, including the term JRPG itself—like, we’re still using the term “JRPG” to mean “turn-based combat with funky anime aesthetics,” but that airbrushes over so many weird and fun and distinctive mechanics that developers inside-and-outside of Japan have been experimenting with, right?

they had a blog attached to the podcast, and the blog was ALSO excellent

unfortunately, they took their main website down a while back :( however:

you can get some of the old blog posts by fiddling with the wayback machine

becky backed up a bunch of her contributions to the site (i particularly liked her ffxv post & this sort-of ffxiii post that punched me in the face in a good way)

leeroy, one of the other contributors, blags here, though i don’t think he backed up his stuff from the original site

the entirety of the podcast is archived on libsyn and is very good if you’re into podcasts!

no don’t die: okay, this blog/interview series is AMAZING.  and still active!!!  ahh!!!

the whole concept is, this dude finds people who work in games.  or used to work in games.  or who ran a weird fansite for video games back in the early 00′s.  or curate some video-game-shaped things as part of a museum exhibit.  and so on, and so forth.

the dude has a knack for finding really interesting people with all kinds of windows/perspectives on games, and manages to get them to talk about really interesting things.  two of my fave interviews: rebecca heinman, who ported Doom to 3DO in ten weeks on her own in utterly batshit conditions, and mustin, because i’ve got that overclocked remix nostalgia

my friend pokey: so, they’re on tumblr, they write in all lowercase, and their writing style tends to be on the dense and referential side, which ordinarily has all the warning signs of “all pretentiousness, no substance,” right?  (i am not exempt from this, by the way; look at me typing in all lowercase like a scrub.)  but, i’ve reliably gotten interesting insights out of their posts & have been surprised how often i mention their blog to a Friend Whose Aesthetic Tastes I Respect and they’re like “ah! i LOVE that blog!”  also i liked their notes on chrono cross at the end of this post because i literally want to talk about chrono cross every waking moment of my life, come talk to me about chrono cross friends, etc

em reed’s blog is excellent.  i really liked this post about what the phone/gacha game experience is like

auntie pixelante: anna anthropy’s old blog; still not sure why she didn’t archive it somewhere?  but whatever, the wayback machine has your back.  this early review of Gone Home is reasonably representative

tim rogers: i have kind of mixed opinions on him, but i do find something in his work compelling enough that i keep coming back to him, so.

the dude made his initial splash with his extremely long mgs2 review back in the day; there’s a slightly more recent archive too; he also does a lot of sadposting on medium that ranges from “guy in my MFA” to “fuck i can’t believe this dude’s making me feel feelings” in quality, ymmv.  (he also apparently does video reviews now? that are like many hours long? and i am just not the youtube generation so i tapped out on that one bud)

tevis thompson: another critic i have mixed feelings about, but if you’re the kind of dork that enjoys reading stuff that Made A Splash At The Time, and like, nerd subculture histories, you'll have to read his “on videogame reviews” for that reason alone.  i also really dug his 100-word video game reviews series

ludus novus: i haven’t read this dude’s blog in ages, but i liked it a lot when i read it in 2012ish and there’s TONS in the archives

emily short: an IF writer who goes way back.  i haven’t read her blog lately, but the archives / older posts definiely have cool thoughts on the structure of interactive fiction

jonas kyratzes: indie game dev, creator of The Sea Will Claim Everything.  he tends to blog about lefty politics and general arts stuff more frequently than he blogs about games, but he does blog games from time to time.  i liked [1] and [2], for starters.

adam cadre: this guy goes waaay back in the IF scene and has made a bunch of Inform stuff.  i’ve never actually played his games!  but i like his blog a lot (convenient tumblr mirror here).  he almost exclusively blags about books and movies and such these days, but if you dig you can find him talking about games sometimes.  (also, Masterchef Australia, which he loved so much he wrote over fifteen thousand words about it and it’s one of my favorite bizarre blog posts on the internet)

the fool reversed: this blog is focused on LARP game design & issues around that, but i’d say it’s relevant to anyone interested in game-y topics.  as a mostly-outsider to that scene, i thought this was a fun find!

annnd a few last ones:

i haven’t kept up with critical distance in ages, but it used to be a great way to find new game writers, and quite possibly still is, i dunno

while i’ve personally bounced off timber owls a few times, i know some folks who like their writing a lot

hope this helps!!!  happy digging through internet archives and such

[lavendersoft]

My Soulmate’s Soulmate.

Part: 8

Soulmate! AU

Synopsis: Before you meet your soulmate your world is black and white, without color. When soulmates meet, their world glows with vibrancy. The reality, however, as harsh and uncommon as it is, is that you are not always your soulmate’s soulmate.

Pairings: Jungkook x Reader, Taehyung x Reader, Jungkook x Taehyung (poly!au)

Warnings: N/A.

Author’s Notes: Guys. I’m so sorry I’ve left yall hanging for so long. College life is so stressful and finals are right around the corner so I've spent most of my time doing nothing but school. Anyways, I’m gonna try to get back on my grind and update more for yall. ily.

--

It’s been two months since your initial date with Tae.

It’s been relaxing, almost. Any negative feelings toward the man have slowly but surely dissipated since getting to know him personally. You pride yourself in calling it progress.

He really is the sweetest man- besides Jungkook, of course- you’ve ever met. He‘s funny too, in the cute sort of way. He has the sense of humor of a sarcastic angsty teen with a hint of wholesomeness that he tries to hide.

He’s passionate about his art, a borderline workaholic. When either you or Jungkook call him, nine times out of ten he’s in his studio working on a piece that “piqued his interest for the minute.”

He‘s thoughtful. He’s taken Jungkook out on multiple dates as well as yourself. Every time Jungkook comes back from one of their dates, he’s star-struck. He’d be in the best of moods, humming to himself while he puts on a love song playlist and dances with you around the living room. You haven’t seen him so giggly since the two of you started dating, like a teenager in love.

You think there might be genuine feelings between the three of you, that’s what keeps you so relaxed about your (some would say) unfortunate situation.

There are quandaries, as there would be in such a unique relationship. Bouts of jealousy erupt during the most random times. You remember about a week ago you caught yourself from slapping Taehyung’s hand away from Jungkook’s thigh while you all sat together on the couch, watching some cheesy rom-com.  The instinct came over you like a flash when out of the corner of your eye you saw Tae make the move. Jungkook had welcomed the skinship, obviously, opting to place his own hand on top of Tae’s. Clenching your jaw, you wiggle your way in just a little bit further into Jungkook’s side. You wonder if the last of this petty jealousy will disappear after a while. You don’t think that these feelings are directed at Taehyung personally. They were just fleeting instincts, not something that irks you constantly, like in the very beginning.

Just petty jealousy... that's all.

-

Tonight’s the big night. Jungkook had asked you if you were ready to take the next step last night.

“More ready than I’ll ever be.” You told him.

He was ecstatic at your answer and had instantly pulled out his phone to invite Tae over for dinner the following night, which was tonight.

You don’t know why you’re so nervous. His answer could only really be one thing. Yes. But that doesn’t stop your mind from brewing up things to worry about.

What if he says it’s too soon? What if he wants to keep it an open relationship? What if both you and Jungkook have been reading the signs all wrong?

What if he doesn’t feel anything romantic toward Jungkook? That was your biggest fear, as well as Jungkook’s probably.

“You're anxious,” Jungkook really could read you like a book. “You’re fidgeting.”

“I just want tonight to go perfectly. He has to be as comfortable as possible.” You reply as you toss the salad for the thirtieth time. 

“I agree. Maybe we should break out the alcohol?” He’s only joking but you actually think spiking your own drink might be the best option.

“The marinara sauce is burning.” He observes the red tomato sauce bubble over the pot.

“Shit.” You hiss, you’d totally forgotten while in your panic.

“It’s okay, Angel, I got it.” He chuckles, passing by you to the stove, stirring the pot, “Just relax. Everything will go fine.”

It has to. If it doesnt it might just be the end of your relationship, the one you’ve worked so hard to keep alive.

The light knock at the door pulls you out of your dark thoughts and back into reality. Jungkook gasps excitedly before pecking you on the cheek.

“I’ll get it!” He declares while padding over to the door. It swings open to reveal a tired but handsome Taehyung.

“Hey, Baby!”

A shiver runs down your spine when the word reaches your ears. Your movements freeze in pure shock.

“Hi, Babe.”

When did they start calling each other pet names?

You shake it off as quickly as it came. When you enter the hallway, Taehyung softly breaks the embrace between the two men to greet you.

“Sweetheart.”  He greets with a drowsy smile, pulling you into a tight squeeze.

“You hungry? I made spaghetti! Well, tried to.” You chuckle at your poor excuse for pasta.

“I’m starving. Haven't eaten since yesterday.” Taehyung admits, shyly.

“What?!” Both of your reactions were immediate.

“Since yesterday?!” Jungkook gapes.

“Well, it’s just I’ve been working on so many projects late-” His excuse falls short when Jungkook proceeds to guide Tae toward the dining room.

“That’s no excuse! No wonder you look so exhausted!” You begin to feel like a nagging mother but you just couldn't help it. You did care for the silver-haired artist and it pained you to know he wasn't properly taking care of himself. 

The ladle in your hand moves quicker than any kitchen utensil should, making Tae a plate first and foremost.

“Eat, please.” When the plate is set in front of him, he digs in.

“I didn’t even realize how hungry I was until about five minutes ago.” He beams with a mouthful of food. You can’t help but smile at how childlike he could be. He could be so cute when he wasn’t being a brooding sex god.

“Have you taken any breaks lately? When was the last time you slept?” Jungkook inquires. Tae purses his lips in thought, tapping his finger on his chin.

“Let’s see...I just left the studio about an hour ago, but I went straight to my house to shower so I could meet you guys. Before that, I was working for about thirteen hours and don’t think I took a significant break that entire time. So thirteen hours ago?” 

You could practically spot the exact moment Jungkook stops himself from banging his own head on the dining room table. 

“You’ve been working since six this morning?” You try to make your voice less accusatory this time.

“Yep. And I’ve finally finished that piece I’ve been working on for a week now! Jimin says we already have bids on it!” He’s glowing with pride, his smile lighting up the room so much you can’t even bring yourself to be angry at him.

“Well, congratulations. Now eat.” You joke as you shake your head.

When everyone’s done eating, the room seems a bit more heavy. The question in your head keeps growing until there’s no room for any other thoughts. Jungkook seems to be getting on fine though, as he reminisces on the last date they shared. Taehyung had taken him on one of his motorcycles. Jungkook couldn't stop talking about it for days, he had so much fun. You were genuinely happy for him.

You didn't realize you were biting your lip until Tae turned his attention to you,

“Got something you’d like to share with the class?” He jokes, gently nudging your calf with his foot.

Jungkook exchanges a quick look and a confident nod with you.

“Yeah, actually.”

“I’m all ears, Love.” His back straightens as if he’s giving you his full, undivided attention.

“So we- Jungkook and I- were thinking that since we all get along so nicely and, you know, we’re like soulmates and what not... um we were thinking-“

“Do you want to date us?” Jungkook blurts out. You deadpan at your impatient boyfriend.

“Uh, what he means is-“

“Absolutely.” You deadpan at your new impatient boyfriend, while Jungkook giggles beside you.

There’s a comfortable moment between the three of you as you all take in what this means. Blocking out all the needless worrying that you’re so good at, you concentrate on the warm feeling rising in your stomach.

"Finally,” Tae chuckles at himself, “It took you guys long enough! I was beginning to wonder if you guys were ever gonna ask me out. I was getting worried.”

“Hey. Being worried is my job.” You fake scold him, tapping him on the shoulder.

There was a silence that you couldn't ignore coming from your soulmate, Jungkook hadn’t even properly reacted when Tae said yes. But the nervousness ended when you saw what looked like tears gathering in his doe eyes.

“I'm so happy.” He says simply, voice slightly strained.

-

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[afterthelastreset]

Rules Of One’s Soul Ch21 The Duke’s Return

(Mak belongs to @wasted-church)

AH! Being loved and praised was such a remarkable feeling was it not?

Which is what he had been asking himself all night last night laying awake in bed for who knows how many hours after he and Jevil had parted ways that afternoon and couldn't help but feel like he wanted to ram his head against a brick wall and feel as happy as a young school boy with his first crush now....It was quite the internal debate really. But he surprisingly felt....Happy. Fulfilled even. Like a missing piece of the puzzle finally put itself together in his miserable life. Yes, he still felt regret for having to tell him something so personal but hey. His soul thumped with happiness and fulfillment and dare say...maybe...Love? Whoa. Whoa. Slow down there. Just because you two shared two personal moments and he kissed you a couple times, that doesn't automatically make you two in a relationship or even in love for all that matter. And there was still Seam to deal with and helping Lancer out with this ball idea they had been throwing together for who knows how long. That's a lot of responsibility for one child and needed to be taken seriously if he wanted to be the best father he could be. So for know he would sleep on it and return tomorrow with a fresh mind and not think of any kisses or funny laughing imp's right now.

And that went as well as you would think.

He woke up about two hours late past scheduale and he cursed as he rushed to get himself looking presentable and teleported to the castle. But what he wasn't really expecting was the amount of color to hit him all at once-....OH SWEET MOTHER OF LIGHT!! So much pink and red. The familiar slight twisted and rush of his light weight being carried through with his usually way of teleporting was quite peaceful compared to the amount of eye soar that greeted him once the beautiful white light of his glow faded away. He had to blink to make sure his brain wasn't tricking him. But nope! Pink and read decorations were everywhere. In just the hallway the duke landed in alone, there must've been at least a hundred hearts drapped from the ceiling and more frilly and lace induced decor stretching every which way he could see. .....He couldn't remember the last time he had beheld so much love induced decorating since...Well- He didn't need to be thinking about that right now did he?

"W-Welcome back, Sir." The sudden voice made him jump and whirl around only to spot a hathy just a few feet away from him. She giggled and held a tentacle to her mouth before giving him a sincerely happy smile. "It's so good to know you're break wasn't a boring one. Hehe."

"Eh...L-Likewise."

Everything beyond the hathy was as normal as he expected it to be. About every servant or guard he passed was either chatting about the upcoming ball or 'party' as he heard, or gushing about the up coming night they would hopefully spend the night with their true love. It was all rather adorable and made him chuckle a few times if he was honest. Oh he wondered how many cards he had already gotten from his admirers piled on his desk already. Begging him to go with them or swooning over his dashing looks.~....Imagine his surprise when he opened the door to his office and not only found everything clean, but with absolute no backed up paperwork and absolutely zero cards with the exception of one. The giant one left on his desk was crudely made and had a macaroni smiley face glued to the front of it's red face, and upon opening it up had a pretty stick figured portrait of himself and a small round blue potato which he could only guess was supposed to be him and Lancer holding hands. In terrible handwriting was spelt :

"mE Anb LeSSER Dad!! P.s. I TOTALLY dibs not Eat Half the CAKE!! It WAs Uncle JeviL!!"

That made him chuckle and feel himself be filled with even more joy. Oh Lancer. Ever the little scoundral....OH RIGHT!! He dropped the card back onto the desk and turned immediately to leave. He had almost completely forgotten about his little water beetle, he had to go to him immediately and see what damage had been done if an- Loud sounds and a small pair of fast footsteps approached and he could only guess who had could be. A blue circle dragged itself past the door way out of sight to the other side, before quickly changing it's direction and bulldozer it's way into the office.

"OOF-"

The blue circle blur rammed into his chest at the speed of sound and they both went down to the ground with a thump. He groaned from the impact and felt something constrict itself and bounce on his ribs.

"LESSER DAD!! YOU'RE BACK!!" The child shouted happily and leaned over his face to look down at the worm. Tongue stuck between his teeth.

"...G-Grand to seest thou too, S-Son. Now pleaseth get off mine chest," he wheezed, the spade child was heavier than he looked. But alas it seemed his boy wanted to be held because he giggled and wrapped his arms around his neck when he slowly sat up. To which the worm sighed but gladly accepted the boy's affections with open arms. It was just a little hard to stumble to his feet while holding him in his grip. But somehow he managed. Lucky him.

Lancer giggled when he was lifted up in his father's arms. "HOHOHO!! As king I get to make the Dad rules now Lesser Dad! And you're my loyal steed!!"

"Oh, art I now?" He smiled and shook his head. His eyes gazed over him, Lancer didn't seem worse for wear and it didn't look like anything had changed in the ten days he had been gone. That was a good sign. So hopefully Jevil had kept his word and had been telling the truth the whole time he was talking.

The spade cub nodded. "Yep!...Hey, Lesser Dad. What's a steed?"

The duke laughed and walked out of the office and back into the love infested castle. He still got a sorrowful feeling in his gut being surrounded by all this love, but he guessed his calm mind must've finally been catching up with reality and numbed his skittish side. It was the only logical explanation for his behavior after all. But all that aside he made his way to the royal throne room where the other kings were most likely to be, if there was anything important to discuss or plan then he needed to get right on top of it. There was no time to dilly dally after all. ....But as he walked listening to Lancer ramble on able all the cool plans him and Uncle Jevil had come up with to 'Spice up the mushy party' he noticed a few of the staff gave him side glances and wide smiles, well he couldn't blame then for their gawking. Naturally he was prime crush material.~ But then why were some giving him weird looks? Oh well. Let them be jealous of his magnifinece.

"And he said his friend was gonna help him do this trick with fireballs! And it's gonna be like BAM! KABOOM!! BANG!!" He threw his arms out momentarily making ROuxls stumble and scramble to recover balance before they fell over. Which luckily he did. "...Uh..Sorry, Dad."

He rolled his eyes with a sigh, but made a mental note to instant a backup fire safety plan. "Tis alright." They were already at the entrance to said throne room already and on the other side he could hear the very familiar sound of the King of Clubs-

"AW! It's cute Clover wants to invite him as her date!" "NO! Absolutely not!" "He's not good enough for her! NO ONE IS!!" "But he helped save us?" "Still doesn't matter!"

He shifted Lancer in his grip to where he was holding him in one arm and a blue hand reached out to the door and opened. As sure as he suspected, on the other side down the hall like room was King Clubs in all his glory. Five heads arguing about some boy or date or whatever Clover wanted to bring with her to the ball. Across from his sat King Diamond who had one of his four hands rubbing his temples probably already over the whole thing, while King Heart was busy looking at a long scroll of paper that went almost to the floor. Don't ask him how he could read without any eyes visible, but what really made him raise a brow was the length of the scroll. The kings were easily almost three feet taller than he was, so the list was incredibly long if it was almost touching his feet. Diamond was the first to notice them approach and lifted his head from his hands with a smile.

"OH! Look who we have here. The return of the noble King upon his mighty duke steed."

Lancer giggled and wagged his little tail and the Duke rolled his eyes. "Good morrow to thou too, Mine Majesties." He did a light bow or what he could manage with Lancer not quite ready to let go yet. "I haveth returned from mine ...'vacation' as I shouldst. Apologies for mine tardiness. I assure thee it willst not happy again."

King Diamond waved a hand and gave a smile. "No, no. It's fine...At least you got away from Clubs for a good while." His eyebrow rose at the still arguing Multiheaded king who while wasn't as loud anymore still angrily whisper argued to each other and groaned. "At least you got to relax-"

Rouxls chuckled dryly remembering the past ten day's events. "Heh. Thou wouldst be surprised-"

"Did you say something Diamonds?" The giant Hathy looked up from the scroll in his tentacles and turned towards Diamonds, but before the giant snake monster could reply his gaze(or what he would've considered to be his gaze if he had eyes. Actually head) turned downwards near the floor and smiled at the sight of the small king being held by Rouxls. "AH! Mr. Rouxls! You returned! Thank goodness. I could help with the last of these erronds before the ball." He gave a guilty look and shifted the long scroll. "T-There's only three day left and I haven't even finished half of these yet and I still have to speak with my beloved Amory. She'll be so disappointed if I can't help her p-pick the floral displays like I promised. "

"Fear not my majesty. I shallst see to thine preparations accordingly."

"OH! Thank you! You're a life saver!" A major relief came over the giant hathy's face and Rouxls was happy to serve his Kings again. It would be a good distraction for what regretful feelings were being felt. "H-Here." He lowered the giant scroll down to the Duke who extended a hand to take it. "I-It's everything that needs to be done before then."

Rouxls smiled and held the list up to his face, expecting most of what was already on the long thing to be crossed out or marked as done...But his smile quickly dropped upon seeing the long list of things needed to be done. To be fair a giant portion of the list was crossed off, and the King being a bigger darkner of course had bigger handwriting so the words despite only being a few deeds, still needed a longer list of paper to accommodate the larger handwriting. Giving it the illusion of it being a long list of things when in fact it was only a few large words on the list. He was used to it, so that's not what shocked in. What shocked him was the amount of work, each task remaining task brought-

- Send out one invitation per darkner family

- Prepare the feast

- Give forth the orders of no 'adult talk' during the ball

He guessed he added that last one for Lancer, he could just add that into the invites. But that was only a few out of what must have been twenty or so. Lancer leaned a little closer to the list and pointed at a few crossed out words.

"Uncle Jevil and I did that one! And that one! I got to help him decorate and he showed me lots of tricks! He let me pick the best one ones for the 'enter-containment'!" He beamed with pride as his tail wagged. But Rouxls wasn't smiling at his happiness this time.

Instead his gaze slowly turned to the nervous looking Hathy who was tapping his tentacles together and smiling apologies at him. "Sire. Pardon mine doubts in thou's abilities, ...but didst thou really not getteth ANY of this finished within the month thou has planned and mine time away from the castle?''

King Heart chuckled nervously. "U-Um..W-Well, we got...some of it done, b-b-but we couldn't really decide about which one of our ideas we should do f-for the invites a-and other things. Hehe..heh."

The other two things had fallen silent and gave each other guilty looks over it all. Rouxls sighed and gave the list in his hand another look over bouncing Lancer in one of his arms...This would take a lot of work, but also to get these kings back on track, he knew very well he couldn't just invite every Darkner on the entire kingdom. There must've beeen thousands of subjects in their small kingdom alone....They could just invite the castle staff and encourage everyone else to celebrate it there own way. Much easier to manage than thousands of citizens. Which just left the castle staff and nobles like himself....Which still left easily around three hundred people. Oh dear light he could feel himself already getting tired at just one job alone, but like with any task, he'd be sure to come up with something. After all, Rouxls Kaard was never one to give up easily. Whelp. So much of his relaxing vacation-

"Uncle Jevil can help!" Lancer shouted startling the poor Duke into almost dropping him again. "..Oops. Sorry Lesser Dad. But Uncle Jevil can help! He can-"

"Letteth me guess," He interrupted him with a roll of his eyes, "He canst so anythinge."

"...Actually he can help with all these invite-tation thingies. He can write paper really fast like when he did all your work!"

Rouxls looked at the child with a raised brow, "Jevil didst all mine paperwork?" Lancer nodded his head yes with a hum.

Well whaddya know. The loon actually kept his word by taking on all his tasks and getting everything done it seemed, of course he'd still have to ask Lancer a few questions about the events of the past few days to be completely sure, but it did seem like he had nothing to worry about beyond this giant impossible list...which had to be complete within three days including today. He cooed thinking about it...Except he didn't coo. That sound came from the giant Hathy who sighed and held his tentacles against his head as if he adored the sight before him, Rouxls had no idea what about him discussing the list with Lancer was so adorable but he guessed Lancer was the cutest little water beetle-

"OH! There's nothing more I'd rather see than blossoming love!" Rouxls smiled and rolled his eyes good naturdly but froze by the king's next words. "Amory and I never really got along at first either, but after we sparked and talked it over it was like we were meeting a whole new person! There was nothing we wouldn't do for one another even to this day!~ *sigh*"

King Diamond groaned and reached a hand up to rub his temples. "I swear you get too wishy washy at the tiniest things-"

"E-Excuseth me mine majesties," he interrupted before another arguement could be sparked between them, "But what art thou speaking of?"

"Oh? Well yours and Mr. Jevil's newly established relationship of course! It's so nice to see him settling down and so happy. He said hopefully there'll be little pitter patters of children soon!" He giggled like he was expressing a romantic novel he had just read. And failed to notice the dropping face of the Duke before him in horror at what he was being told. "Oh it'll be grand to have young life around the halls again."

Lancer grinned and turned to Rouxls excitedly. "I get a baby brother?!"

Rouxls fell silent. The weight of the situation hitting him like a sack of bricks. Not that anyone really noticed at the moment, except for Little Lancer who tilted his head at his father's weird face. Flashes of everyone's funny looks his way came back to him, flooding his brain with it, as well as the suspicious lack of love letters this year and with what King Heart had just said-.....

"EXCUSE ME!! WHAT?!" Any sound or talking was quickly shut up upon the duke's high pitched voice peircing their ears painfully and bouncing off the walls, the kings and Lancer wincing back at the loud shout and stare at him with confusion racked faces. Even the always arguing King Clubs had stopped to marvel at the duke who looked ready to faint from embarrassment judging by his flushed face. Even the guards stationed within the room looked almost uncomfortable watching this- "P-Pardon mine s-sudden outburst, Your Royalties. But t-t-that worm and I are nay in ANY sort of r-romantical s-s-shennanigans!"

"....Really?" His tone seemed genuinely confused, and when Rouxls nodded Heart hummed and brought a tentacle up to rub his chin. "Oh my, my, my. Well this certainly is an awkward position to have put you in isn't it? My apologies. ..Although I guess now it makes sense as to why he said he wasn't accompanying you to the ball, I suppose. He must've been referring to a different Kaard with a similar sounding I guess...." He leaned down near eye level with the worm and the duke did was he always did in this kind of situation and smiled wide and nervously. "Are you quite sure? With all the facts he stated I could've sworn it was you?"

Not being one to lie to any of the royal family of course, the duke swallowed the lump in his throat and gave a nervous chuckle to the giant Hathy's confused frown. "I-I-I w-well...I guesseth over t-t-the course of ...however l-long we hadst been having a..fewest teeny tiny r-rendenvous??"

Heart looked at him for a bit longer, a few drops of slime forming at his face at the close proximity, but eventually a realization smile came over him and he leaned back up. "OH! I understand now. Silly me, he's courting you!"

Rouxls....blinked. Courting? Well if one looked at what exactly Jevil did do over the entirety of his behavior ever since that day before the lightners came, and with all he was doing up til now, one could quite consider his behavior as if Jevil was really courting him. The thought hadn't crossed his mind til now, but he guessed this did count as the fool's own way of 'courting'. "U-Uh-...Y-Yes. It wouldst appeareth so." His wide smiled appeared back on his face. "W-Wouldst thou excuseth mineself for just a moment- ...YOU THERE?!" He whirled around and pointed at one of the Rudinn guards in the room, the poor guard jumped and almost dropped his spear from the sudden action. "Send word out for the Court Jester immediately."

The guard gave a salute to the duke and without a word to argue they turned and slithered off towards the door as fast as Rudinn possible, thumbling his weapon a few times and dropping it with a clang before just leaving it and diving out the door. Spear forgotten in the door entrance. Rouxls stared a moment longer before sighing and straightening up, Lancer was giving him a concerned look.

"...Is Uncle Jevil in trouble?"

Rouxls flinched but gave a reassuring smile. "None at all, Little King." His teeth gritted under that smile and his eye twitched. "I just wisheth to discuss his...h-help with a few things is all."

"....Does this mean I don't get a baby brother?"

*********************************************************************************************

The fire crackled peacefully in the room as the ones within it sat silently doing there own personal business. Seam sitting at the counter lazily like he did most days, now a days it was just a bit more busier than usual. Every few hours or so, a Rudinn or Hathy would come in, frantically looking around at the shelves and picking out one of his random knickknacks or buy some candy to give to their beloved as a last minute gift. Too bad he wouldn't be open on the actual holiday. Meanwhile Jevil was busy trying to sew up any odd patches or small threads in that odd purple suit of his...You would think anyone who would be able 'to do anything' would be decent at sewing, but it appears the master of chaos wasn't mastering this.

"....You got the wrong seam again." The child crawled their way across the couch and point to the messy attempt that was a yarn stitched up hole in the side. Mak tilted their head at it. "It looks sloppy."

Jevil grumbled and held it up to take a look at the terrible stitching job. They were right. It wouldn't do at all for the event if he wanted to do his best, and of course if a child thought it looked sloppy then who knows what everyone else would think. A laugh caught his ears and he turned to see Seam smiling at the two of them with a head tilt. Jevil had been at this thing for a while now. Who knew he was a perfectionist?

"Would you perhaps like me to help you? I think I have decent skill with needle and thread." He reached a paw up to rub the top on his head where the giant black patch was.

But of course Jevil shook his head. "No, no! I can do anything! Something as simple as sewing, sewing is beneath me." Once look back to his messy yarn stitch made him give off a nervous chuckle. "...It'll just take some time, time."

Seam chuckled and turned back to the sheap entrance. "Suit yourself."

Every since the discovery about the Duke...a lot of things have fallen into place. Rouxls's reluctance to touch and affection, his nervous habits, his scars-...And why he was so concerned about the boy's well being. Seam bristled. Just thinking about having to endure what the duke did and still be so proud of his job and take on the role of father to the very child of the terrible king...But he couldn't judge too much. After all he taken his own metaphorical beatings and taking a small ankle biter of his own-...His ear twitched and his head tilted towards the flap door of the sheap. A moment later it flapped open and a green blur plopped to the ground. Seam didn't even flinch as he looked down at the green puddle gasping for breath on his sheap floor.

"...Welcome, Stranger. What brings you to my sheap?"

The green puddle, who was a very tired looking Rudinn wheezed out and slowly raised his head to gaze up at the giant stuffed cat. "...*wheeze* T-T-The Duke has s-s-sent for the Court Jester-...I-Imediately. hhhaaaa-"

His face plopped back to the floor and Seam hummed. Turning around and finding Jevil staring in their direction. "You hear that Jevil? Apparently you're wanted at the castle."

A giggle came from the Jester and his tail wagged, thumping against the couch with soft thumps. Standing up, suit falling into the paws of Mak who gave it a look over.

"Oh. Yes, yes. Who am I to deny royalty, royalty.~"

[black-dragon1998]

waiting for supergirl

Part 4 ‘Out of the box way of starting a family’  : part 1- part 2-part3

Kara doesn't come home, being held up with superhero duties. witch leaves Lena to prepare Lydia for bed alone.

Thanks for reading and leave a comment if you like.

Lena was walking through the apartment, Lydia playing in front of the TV on her playpen. On the TV was playing some child show with lots of colours to keeps the kids’ attention. Lena in the was waiting for Kara to come home.

Normally Lydia should be getting ready for bed, but Lena and Kara had a ritual for Lydia’s bedtime, and it hadn’t been broken since they started it.

Lena was a little bit conflicted about what she should do. She knew Kara was probably saving the city as Supergirl, still, she worried because she hadn’t heard from her since they shared lunch. Lena still hadn’t gone back to work, not being able to leave Lydia just jet.

Sam took over the duties at L-Corp as best she could, and Lena did the necessary paperwork from home.

“Mommy?” Lena’s attention was drawn away from her own thoughts when her daughter called. Looking up she saw Lydia running toward her, her little arms flailing to make sure her mother got her attention.

in the last week, Lydia was starting to do much better. She started to talk and play more instead of staying in her mother’s arms. She also started to trust people more, she actually started asking for her ants and Ruby.

When Lydia reached her she looked up at her with a huge smile.

“yes, a chroi?” Lena smiled back at her daughter.

“play with me?” Lydia asked pulling at her mother’s pants to make her move in the direction of the playpen.

Deciding to put away her worries for the moment and follow Lydia to her toys. To Lena’s great delight Lydia preferred to build with blocks instead of playing with dolls. Kara said it was the Luthor genes in her that made her want to build stuff. ‘just like her mommy’ Kara had teased her, and Lena could only blush and smile.

“What are we making, Angeal?” Lydia was delighted her ‘mommy’ was giving her, her full focus. Especially since her other mother wasn’t there for attention hogging. Kara usually was the one to play with Lydia. So, the little girl was going to make the best of it.

“Wobot.” Lydia clapped her hands while almost jumping up and down, Lena chuckled and pulled the little girl on her lap. A robot was something she could do.

To Lena’s own surprise she was enjoying herself and Lydia was delighted to lay with her mommy.

“Mommy look! Wobot.” Lena smiled lovingly as she saw her daughter fawn over the little block robot. She should probably make her a real robot when she was a little bit older.

“it’s lovely dear. Maybe I should take you with me to L-Corp next time. The men there could learn from you.” Lena laughed while hugging her daughter close. Lydia, in turn, hugged her mother back and couldn’t stop her giggles.

Lena lifter Lydia up so she could look her in the eyes.

“What do you say about dinner after all that building.” Lydia had gone serious as she looked back into Lena’s eyes. Proving to Lena she was positively Kara’s kid; only then could food be taken so seriously. The Luthor eyebrow raise was a rare contradiction to that.

“Mack and cheese?” Lydia was like a perfect blend between her and Kara, making the pout fired at her all the more effective.

“Alright, but only if you eat some fruits with them.” Lucky for Lena, unlike Kara Lydia likes to eat fruits and vegetables.

While the home-made Mac and cheese warmed up in the oven, Lena sliced an apple and placed it in front of her daughter. The food was devoured that is she didn’t live with an adult Kryptonian she would look up, but now it was just another thing she was used to.

Lena put their plates in the dishwasher while Lydia stayed in her high chair.

it was starting to become really late and Lydia had refused to take a nap this afternoon. This caused her to rub her eyes with a tiny fist but still being too stubborn to admit she is sleepy.

“A chroi, want to take a nap with me while we wait for mama?” Lena tried, Lydia was starting to get grumpy, making her whine and hold her hands out for Lena. Still not admitting she was tired. ‘them Luthor stubbornness.’ If Kara asked later, she so would say it wasn’t.

“Mama?” Lydia’s had her brows knitted together when her attention was brought back on the missing parent. Not wanting to a crying fit with would only leave ger grumpier.

“Mama will be here when you wake up.” Lena tried. Lydia vigorously shook her head. Lena seeing the tears welling up she acted fast. Sometimes you had to give in as a parent.

“not even if we sleep in the big bed.” Normally Lena would refrain from letting Lydia sleep in between her and Kara. Keeping it as a last resort, like now.

“Mama!” Lydia started to shout to getter with the first tears. Rubbing her temple’s, she went for another approach.

“How about this. Why don’t we watch ‘The Lion King’ while we wait for mama to get home?” Lena was gasping at her last straws with this. She already picked Lydia out off her high chair, rubbing her back soothingly. Hoping the little one would fall asleep while watching the movie.

“Cuddles?” Lydia asked shyly.

“How could I say no to my favourite cuddle buddy.” Lena smiled. Both were giggling the whole way to the bedroom. Having thrown  routine out of the window, Lena laid Lydia in the middle of the bed. putting a few pillows around her, preventing her from fall of the bed.

“Okay baby, look at me.” Lena tried to get her daughters full attention, who was distracted by the pillows around her. When two big blue eyes looked at her and smiled Lena continued.

“LION KING!” Lydia clapped her hands together giggling.

“yes, yes but first we are going to put on PJ’s okay.” Lena slits her forefinger over her daughter’s chubby cheek to keep her attention.

“yeah PJ’s.”

“A chroi, that means you have to stay here on the bed while I go and get them, okay.” Lydia nodded.

“Can you tell what to do?” Lena asks raising her own Luthor eyebrow.

“Stay here and wait for mommy.” Lydia answered proudly.

“Good girl, now wait for mommy to come back.” Lena stood up and made her way toward the other bedroom opposite the master bedroom. She had almost made it to the door when she heard yelling.

“Mommy! Don’t forget Leo and Luna.”

“Okay, a chroi.” Leo and Luna being her daughters' stuffed lion and wolf. Lydia had noticed that both her name and her mother’s name started with the same letter, so she wanted her ‘friends’ to have the same. Both Kara and Lena found it adorable, as did the super friends.

In the bedroom, she quickly took a new pair of PJs’. Picking the one that resembled Kara’s new suit, Lena also didn’t forget the stuffed animals.

When she got back inside the master bedroom Lydia was laying exactly where Lena left her.

“good girl.” Lena praised, picking her off the bed and kissing her cheek. Walking into the bathroom, she changed Lydia quickly. Lena herself changed into one of Kara’s hoodies she liked to steal.

“Ready for the movie?” Lydia nodded in the crook of her neck, but Lena didn’t miss how her daughter rubbed her eyes again and stifled a yawn.

It didn’t take long for the two to settle on the bed. Lena leaning lightly against the headboard with a couple of pillows propped behind her back to support her. Lydia nestled herself in her mommy’s front with head resting on Lena’s shoulder.

pulling the blankets up to Lydia’s chin she pressed play for the movie and waited.

When Kara finally made it back home, she was met with silence. The apartment was dark, and Kara was a bit confused, normally Lena would be waiting for her. This made Kara scared that Lena was mad at her for not letting her know where she was.

Aldo her worries were washed away when she entered her shared bedroom. Lydia had fallen asleep and turned so that she was snuggling into Lena. Her stuffed animals squeezed between the two off them. Lena in her turn had also fallen asleep, having curled around Lydia.

Not wanting to wake them she floated into the bathroom and changed quickly. Standing in front of the bed Kara felled conflicted. She wanted to join her family, but she also didn’t want to disturb them.

Lena noticed someone had entered the bedroom, Kara seemed to fill a room with a calming presence that put Lena at ease.

“Darling?” Lena’s voice sounded groggy from sleep.

“I’m here baby.” Kara answers sitting on her side off the bed.

“you're finally home.” Lena couldn’t help but smile.

“Yeah, sorry that I haven’t let you know where I was.” Kara said sheepishly.

“’s okay. Happy your home.” Said, half back to sleep again. Lena rolled over just enough for Kara to slip in beside her. Kara didn’t waste any time doing just that and hugging her two-favorite people into her.

Lena lets out a happy sight and rested her head on Kara’s shoulder. Kara fell asleep with a smile on her face.

Kara was woken up abruptly by a small body jumping on her chest.

“MAMA! MAMA! Wake up, mommy is making pancakes.” Lydia creamed loudly.

‘I’m up. I’m up.” Kara grunted out not opening her eyes just jet.

“Iska could you be so kind and move your knees a little.” Kara finally opened her eyes to look at her daughter who had her knees planted in her ribs and both hands on her cheeks. Not understanding the question, she just repeated her excitement.

“Pancakes!”

Using her super speed Kara hoisted Lydia up in her arms and jumped off the bed.

“Alright little monster, let see what mommy is doing.” Kara chuckled while tickling Lydia’s tummy, making the girl shriek in laughter.

“no, mama don’t. no tickling.” Lydia breathed art between laughs. Both were still laughing when they med Lena in the kitchen.

“Morning.” Lena looked up from her stack of pancakes she made.

“Morning,” Kara answered when she slung her free arm around Lena and kissed her cheek.

Taking in the scene in front of her Lena couldn’t help feel her heart swell with love. The sudden emotions caused her to tear up a bit.

“I hope this never changes.” Lena whispered in a small voice in Kara’s neck. Kara having heard her gave her waist a small squeeze.

“I hope so too.”

Part 5

want to support me Buy me a Ko-fi

[withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus]

Let’s talk about quarantine streams and smartass fans

This might piss off some people, but I’ve had it so here we go...these past 2 months have been hard for pretty much all of us and the fact some visual kei artists chose to not leave us alone during this time means a lot. Several of them did their part in their own way and we should all be thankful BUT still, some fans of some bands seem to find it soooo fuckin hard to not throw poison, even during a time like this, and instead of just being happy about their bands being there for them, compare bands to theirs and belittle the effort of everyone else. So I felt like sharing what I noticed from other bands to enlighten some narrowminded fans and also to clear some things up. I am not going to cut this, this will be a long-ass post so you’ve been warned.

So let’s start with the two of the biggest names in the industry shall we?

The Gazette: Many of the Gazette’s fans are disappointed because the band hasn’t been around during this whole time, and many Dir en Grey fans feel like it’s the perfect time to post things like “Where’s your band now?“ or “Gazette who?“. For your information, Reita, Kai and Aoi have been around too, just not as much as other band members. They check on us. And anyway the other day that Reita tried to share an opinion on people sending hate to artists and generally other people, many fans attacked him. He didn’t tell you not to tell your opinion, people, he just said it’s good to filter your fuckin tongue before talking. Did anyone of you think, even for just one second, that he said that because of what’s going around about them right now? And at the end of the day none of the artists who even did spend sometime with us owed us this. Yes we support them, we buy their stuff etc etc, but the only thing artists owe us back for that support is more music and art, not spending their free time with us, nor being our personal psychologists. So yes, please and I mean that, by all means show your gratitude to those who did that these days, but don’t attack bands who didn’t. And I don’t mean JUST the Gazette. Many more bands didn’t do the whole free lives & broadcast thingy, but since they are a big name, they are getting named the most. About Ruki now. I see people saying things like, oh Ruki is hibernating etc, when many fans were yearning for a new album. Personally I wouldn’t be surprised if when the whole quarantine is over, the Gazette will announce a new album. How do you know he is just staying inside doing nth? How do you know he is not caring for his own people or even working on new stuff around the very subject of the virus? I won’t speak about Uruha cause Uruha isn’t a fan of social media in general.

Dir en Grey: Dir en Grey is one of the bands that actually did a lot to stay by the side of their fans from early on during the quarantine, sth which filled their fans with joy. So I don’t understand why their fans then felt the need to start spreading hate to other bands, I really don’t. Dir en Grey were also one of the first bands that did a free live and in a huge arena like it was a full-scale show. I found that really remarkable and I was like whoa this is so amazing of them. But seeing their fans say things like “oh no other band does that, bitches“ etc, made me not care so much and overshadowed their kindness with hate and fans who really don’t deserve all that, in my opinion. I am not saying all fans are like that, in any way, I follow so many amazing Dir en Grey fans who are genuinely exhilarated about what they did and who just post about their happiness without hating on others, but yeah it’s really such a big shame to see the dark side of their fandom. Every fandom has a dark side but during this quarantine I got to see Dir en Grey’s one, as I am only familiar with the fandoms I myself am in. So for those bitter Dir en Grey fans I got one thing to say: not every band has their money to make such a show in such a big arena and hundreds more vkei artist actually stayed by their fans side during the whole quarantine. Shocking I know.

And now that’s out of the way, let’s talk about bands that were there too from home:

Kaya: Since the beginning of quarantine, Kaya has been online all the time, interacting with fans, doing various broadcasts, dolled up or casual, and telling everyone we are fighting this together and that he will be on our side no matter what. He’s been showering fans with love, he uploaded videoclips that hadn’t been uploaded so far on his youtube and some songs live. He is going through all kinds of things from fanarts to comments about anything and does so many broadcasts that I have lost count.

REIGN: Even though the band is disbanding at the end of May, during the whole quarantine, all four members have been twitcasting from time to time, with Ikuma being the overdoer as he streamed from 3-4 hours every few days, discussing about various subjects with fans. Even when they weren’t twitcasting, all REIGN members were on twitter, posting and being there for their fans. They also joined a 3-man live with Grimoire and Sick2′s side project at the beginning of the quarantine which they broadcasted for free. The live house wasn’t very big but it was good enough for the three bands performing and they also answered comments until the people working at the live house told them it was time to close for the night

D: D were more active for their paying fandom, but they sure didn’t leave those not belonging in their vip list hanging. They were on twitter the whole time, sharing videos of themselves playing music and even joining tag games that spread among vkei artists during the quarantine to pass their time, urging everyone to stay inside and stay safe. Also, Asagi took an active part in providing for charity during such times. Before the pandemic was announced it had already been decided D were working on a charity single that would send some of the earnings to Australia for the damage of the forest fires last year and, after this was done, he focused on providing money for live houses who were threatened to close due to lack of activity through a single that was written for everyone to know they are not alone. In case you haven’t heard, many live houses hosting vkei shows have been closing the last few years, making it harder for bands to find sometime during each week to perform somewhere. Once live houses are done, so will visual kei artists be, unless they of course turn to online performances. So Asagi focused on providing for the future of the live scene, which was very smart move at the moment and if I remember well some money went to providing people with more masks too. There is a new charity streaming happening at the moment for children, btw.

GLAY: GLAY donated 10 million yen and 5000 masks to medical institutions for COVID-19 relief. Need I say more? GLAY have also been active on their social media for their fans’ sake. I don’t know any more details, cause I don’t follow them that much, but they did things not only for their fans but also for their country.

Kamijo: Kamijo has also being active on social media but moreso lately, starting his own broadcasts to interact with fans. Until that point it seemed that he was working on various things and organizing them to have the form they have now. Kamijo also changed the lyrics of the lead song of his latest single Persona Grata so that the enemy mentioned in it is more of an invisible one instead of a story-focused one like he usually does. According to him, he did that so that the song can work as a hope provider against our current invisible enemy, the virus. He said he wanted to lift people’s spirits and use this song to spread hope, so he made that little change and let me tell you, it is an amazing and powerful ballad. Also, since some if not all shippings have been ceased at the moment, Kamijo uploaded the whole single on his youtube channel for free so that everyone can listen to it and hopefully find some strength to keep believing and maybe get lost in it and forget about the general chaos a little.

Gackt: No, I don’t want to hear it. If you are his haters and haven’t even tried to read or experience what he does for his fans, don’t bother coming for me. Gackt has already been trying to share funny moments with his fans and he hopes he does make it with that, through his instagram and youtube so I wasn’t surprised he kept doing that during quarantine. Last week, he uploaded all his live shows on youtube so that his fans can watch them during quarantine if they wish. He couldn’t provide us with a show during such days so he did give us every show he has done so far for free and so that we could enjoy a show from home. He also kept doing workouts to show us, encouraging us to stay inside and be hopeful and mindful of the people around us. He also started some accent lessons in English for Japanese fans, but I guess even that would be cringy to some of you so you will pass it like that. He’s been trying to spread laughter to his fans and I really appreciate that. And for the hate he got even for that, well, if you don’t like his humor, focus on your favorites and leave him and his fans be. :)

Sui/David: Sui had a performance arranged for Paris around this time but due to the pandemic, he couldn’t make it. He had even fundraised about it so he was really saddened he couldn’t make it. To make up for it, though, he went to a studio with just another person and performed for both his Paris and other fans live with a single phone recording. The studio was really small and, some of you might think oh well big deal, it was just one person, but the place was stuffed with furniture and equipment and on top of that, Sui isn’t very tiny, he is like 1,82 cm so, it was hard for him to move around. But yeah he still tried, he came all dressed up in his costume and even though there were no special effects, good lighting nor a band with him, he did his best to entertain his fans and I respect that. And I also had a good time. ^^ He had prepared enough songs only for 30 minutes that are given for free from twitcast as, obviously he didn’t expect many people to show up nor send him coins (points on twitcast to prolong broadcast) so after that, he cheerfully accepted to keep this going for 30 more minutes, singing a song one more time, then talking with us and closing his show with a Malice Mizer cover of Ma Chérie.

BPR bands: Well all BPR bands have taken over youtube the last one year, but even more so now, the bands kept posting videos to entertain the fans. They also did broadcasts in which they talked with other members online and also interacted with fans. I only follow Kiryu on twitter so I can’t speak for everyone but they sure continued being active on twitter on days like these and joke around to spread some laughs.

Alice Nine: Another band that has been online the whole time these days and broadcasting often. Tora has been taking his gaming channel very seriously these days and yes he has an option to tip him if you want, in fact several vkei artists do that because, like I said, not everyone has the money to survive without working these days, especially artists who can’t really sell their art at the moment, but his youtube lives are free, entertaining and a good company if you are feeling alone. He posts a new video every day or every two days, if sth comes up. Hiroto already had a radio show so I think he keeps going there, I haven’t checked, I’ve only seen his twitcasts but yes all the members have been twitcasting, for vip fans and not and recently they had a broadcast all together from home.

Other artists who also broadcasted a lot and/or did live shows are: RAZOR, Diaura, DOG inThePWO, Mana (Kozi and Yu~ki were more active in tweets not broadcasts), Zamb, Ryutaro (also mostly in tweets), Byo, Jin & Rui Takeru/Sleepyhead, Agato/Izumi (full father mode on his tweets ^^’), Versailles members and Vistlip, SHiSHi, Neth Priere Cain, i.D.A, Satoshi, etc etc.

Now be civil and nice and think before you speak. Enjoy your shows and broadcasts, be grateful and stop throwing poison.

[xnovamore]

Beautiful

My part of the @ft-fairyexchanges Ftlgbtales Happy Holigays Exchange 2019. This is for @eilynn-arts your request mentioned Lolita styled dresses and flowers so I took that and ran with it. I hope you like it! (also I didn’t know if you have an ao3 account but if you do please let me know me, I’d love to gift it to you on there as well)

Happy Holigays 2019

Pairing: Lucy x Juvia

Word count: 2553

Read on Ao3

On the outside, she was sure she had the tough guise of the almost S-class rain woman whenever dealing with the other mage. Her stern glare and annoyed mask firmly in place as she brought her face closer and closer to the one stirring up unspeakable emotions within her. But on the inside, her heart was beating a mile a minute each step she took closer to Lucy’s.

Lucy Heartfilia, the bubbly blonde menace to society that was surely going to be the death of Juvia.

You see, Juvia did not handle crushes well…even she can admit that. And it didn’t help that Juvia crushed easily, always looking for someone to form a connection, a bond with. Someone she could love and cherish for all time and whom would give her those same feelings of passion right back. It was something she crazed desperately. As Mirajane once put it, Juvia was in love with love.

But nothing could compare to the way she felt when Lucy pressed their foreheads together all those years ago.

It was a build-up of things. It started with the pain and helpless she felt as that man controlled her body and forced her to do battle with Lucy. Forced her to hurt someone whom was calling out to her, believing in Juvia to be stronger, able to fight off the mage’s control. Juvia wanted so badly to prove her right, to be strong the way Lucy thought she was. Then it was speaking to Lucy through her magic and feeling for the first time like there was someone else out there besides Gajeel who listened to her, who understand her desire to find a family in the Fairy Tail guild the same way Lucy had. The turning point came when they fused their magic together to form an unison raid. Juvia doesn’t even have the words to describe the feeling of their magic tying them together so closely that they hearts beat in sync other than calling the experience extraordinary. Then afterwards they sat for what felt like forever panting softy with their hands holding the others face and the foreheads pressed so gently together. Gentle, Loving, Warm in ways Juvia never experienced before or since then. Never had anyone hold her as if she precious the way Lucy did. So, when they finally separated, Juvia knew without a shadow of doubt that Lucy left a piece of herself within Juvia.

But Juvia had no idea if she had left a piece of herself within Lucy, or if Lucy would even want her too.

So that leads to them now, Juvia glaring into those honey-brown eyes hoping her false anger would excuse her red cheeks and clenched sweaty fits to anyone looking closely.

Which just so happens to be the entire guild.

“Juvia…” Lucy starts with annoying warm voice of hers. Tone soft and her hands held up in the signal of surrender in an attempt to calm the raging water mage down. She shared a glance with a pouting Natsu, concerned Mirajane, gleeful Cana, and a slowly backing away Gray. So much for their help. “Juvia it’s really not that bad. I know you don’t want to do this, but you heard Master, Cana decides the team for this mission.

Turning her fierce glare onto the snickering card mage, Juvia pointed an accusatory finger in her direction. “Cana will re-pick the teams then! The cards must have been wrong this time!”

“Sorry but no dice Juv,” Cana snickered again not even bothering to hide her amusement in the antics of the woman in front of her. “The cards have spoken, and they said the holder of the zodiac keys and the water mage are the perfect team!” Besides…” Her voice trailed off as she threw an arm over Juvia’s shoulder. “I thought you would be happy. I hear the place your going is beautiful this time of year! All that snow and mistletoe will sure make for an interesting time.” She even threw in a wink for good measure ignoring the killing intent coming off of the other girl. Honestly, Juvia would thank her one day, hopefully one day soon. She had a bet to win after all and with Christmas coming up soon she didn’t have much time to spare.

There was only one flaw in her plan. “But Cana! Me and Lucy always are together on saving the world missions!”

Natsu. They had forgotten about Natsu. Well that wasn’t entirely true, they had purposely left Natsu out of their plan because of his inability to keep his big mouth shut.

“And besides guys, you still haven’t told us what the mission is?”

Thankful Gray was to the rescue, Cana should have known he would have her back. “That doesn’t matter right now. Your train is going to be leaving soon and you still need to pack! We can debrief you once you reached your destination.” Gray said pushing Lucy towards the guild doors. With a glare in their direction, Juvia followed quickly.

Once they were out the door, Mirajane let out a relieved sigh. Cana turned to her and spoke gloatingly.

“And here you doubted me.”

“Okay you were right.“ Mirajane giggled. "I didn’t think that would actually work.” 

“It won’t.” A rough voice spoke from one of the tables. Laxus watched the spectacle unimpressed apparently.

“Your just jealous that your team is going to lose.” Cana smirked at the table smugly. 

“Failure is not in our vocabulary.” Erza declared next to Laxus, even raising her sword to illustrate her point. “Lying to them about a mission is not going to get them together by Christmas. You are going to lose!”

“It will work!” Cana and Mirajane yelled back in unison. The glaring contest with the four threatened to resume the months long argument that nearly resulted into a brawl before the teams were formed, each with a different plan on finally getting Lucy and Juvia together. So far, neither group had any luck but Mirajane, Cana, and Gray were sure the plan they conducted would finally pull through before the agreed upon deadline. It was important to do this now because the A team would have their turn again after Christmas, and judging by Laxus’s constant smirk, they must have come up with a plan that might actually work. The B team could not allow that to happen.

“I don’t really care which of you idiots finally get those two to stop dancing around each other.” Gajeel said strumming his guitar. “Just that it happens. Juvia deserves to be happy. Lucy too.”

A silence rang through the guild as they were reminded why they started this bet in the first place. Yes, there was the added bonus of bragging rights once the deed was done, but more importantly, they wanted to help their friends to be happy together. Even if that involves a little lying…what was the worst that could happen?

~

Juvia ran into her apartment in Fairy Hills a nervous chaotic mess. She raced around throwing all the basic necessitates she needed into her bag before stopping in front of her large closet. Throwing it open, Juvia eyed her clothing selection wary. She still wasn’t sure where they were going, but Cana had mentioned snow which meant it was probably somewhere cold. But were her winter wear cute enough to gain Lucy’s attention? Biting her lip, Juvia eyes wandered to the gem of her collection, the dress she that was her second love after Lucy. It was a baby blue Lolita dress with pink trims and white fluffy ruffles. The dress was nearly floor length stopping just a bit over Juvia’s knee. The dress was complete with silky pink ribbons on the sides, a pair of baby blue flats easy to slip on and off, and a blue headband. The longing Juvia felt when she first seen the dress was nearly strong enough to bring her to her knees. She bought it immediately spending off the jewels she had and nearly tripped herself in a hurry to put it on. 

The dress made her feel like a princess. The fabric and ruffles were so soft and warm and it hugged her skin in a way no other dress had before. The light blue of the headband contrasted so pretty with the darker blue of her hair and eyes. The curls in her hair, the ruffles, and the way the dress fawned out at the bottom had her entranced. It was beautiful, she felt so beautiful in it, and now a small part of her wondered if Lucy would find it beautiful too. 

Making a decision, Juvia gently placed the dress into her the zip-close bag and packed into her suitcase. Within the next moments she was gone heading for the train.

~

The train ride wasn’t as awkward as Juvia thought it was going to be. Her nerves still made her flustered, but instead of tense silence, they filled the ride talking about various topics from the weather to guild events and recent jobs they took. Lucy was in the middle of telling her the story of how Gray and Natsu’s fist fight nearly furthered damaged the already decimated town when a bump on the road sent Lucy flying forward from her seat next to Juvia to her head smacking against the train window.

“Lucy!”

“I’m okay.” She tentatively raised a finger to the knot forming on her head wincing. “Ouch that’s going to leave a mark.”

Worry still simmered in her stomach as she wrapped a hand around Lucy’s wrist pulling the girl towards her. “Rival you need to be more careful.” She continued to pull until Lucy’s head rested against her lap. She summoned small bits of water into her palm then froze it the same way Gray had taught her how. Lucy sighed immediately at the cold touch.

“Wow Juvia your hands are magical.”

That darn blush was back. “Gray taught me how to summon water into my hands while still keeping them solid.”

“Oh.” Lucy made herself more comfortable pushing her head more into Juvia’s hands. She stared up at Juvia. “You and Gray have been getting along more lately. You probably wish he was here with you hun?”

“No…no I’m glad I’m here with you.”

Lucy’s smile brightened the entire train. “I’m glad I’m here with you too.”

~

The train stopped at a midpoint halfway to wherever Gray brought the tickets for. She stepped off of the platform dragging Lucy with her.

“Juvia I told you I’m fine.”

“Nonsense rival. If we leave it you will bruise! There should be medical aide somewhere near here.”

“But what about the trai-”

“We will make it back in time or we will catch the next one. You are getting checked out now! I will not allow my rival to be done in by a head injury.”

By the time they found a healer to check out Lucy the train and long since left. They agreed to book a room in the inn near the train stop and rest until the next one came that evening.

Juvia was the only one in the room now. Lucy was downstairs gathering information about the village they were being sent to. Gray, Cana, and Mirajane debriefed them over lacrima but the details were fuzzy and the three spent more time bickering between themselves then giving clear instructions on what this save the world mission was so Lucy and Juvia decided to do some digging themselves.

Juvia was glad she was alone because she needed the few moments to gather her courage. Staring herself down in the mirror, she ran her hands loving down the sides of the Lolita dress, the familiar softness of the fabric grounding her. She knew there was little chance of her getting an opportunity to wear it once they reached the village. She had an opening during the hours before the next train left to impress Lucy and she needed to take it. Here in this sleepy little town where its just the two of them far away from any distractions would be her best chance to make Lucy notice her.

And notice her Lucy did.

She was there at the bottom of the steps watching with wide eyes as Juvia slowly descended the stairs. Juvia kept her movements slow and her head held high, eyes locked on those honey-brown ones. Lucy’s eyes drifted from the way the dress swished and shayed with the movements of Juvia’s hips down to the blue flats before coming back up, lingering on the ruffles down by her legs, then focusing on the blush lingering on her cheeks.

“Juvia…” she whispered softly. She took one step forward then another. Soon the were rushing towards each other desperate to close the distance between their bodies.

“Juvia” she said again, breathless now. Her hands lifted close to Juvia’s face but not quite touching yet as she looked to Juvia for permission. Juvia nodded rapidly closing her eyes in pleasure as Lucy’s warm hand tugged on a stray curl brushing it back behind the headband. The hand drifted down her cheek, brushing her lips, then tracing every inch of the dress she could reach.

“Juvia, you’re so beautiful”

Her hands played with the ruffles.

“It’s so soft. Soft like your hands Juvia”

She linked their hands together using both to continue her exploration.

“Warm too. The fabric is so nice under my hands. It looks taken care of too, you must really love this dress.”

“I do. It makes me feel beautiful”

Lucy frowned at that. Taking their joined hands, she cupped Juvia’s cheek again. “Juvia, your always beautiful.”

The blush deepened but Juvia wasn’t going to allow her embarrassment to take control this time. Instead she pushed more into Lucy’s palm speaking so only she could hear. “I wanted to look beautiful for you. I wanted to share this part of me with you.”

“Juvia…” Juvia was quickly growing to love the sound of her name coming from those lips, especially when Lucy was smiling at her like that. “Come, I want to show you something.

~

They walked slowly up the hill taking their time. Juvia had one hand on her hip keeping her dress from being blown by the wind and the other still locked in Lucy’s. They walked in a comfortable silence until they reached the top of the hill where an endless array of flowers bloomed.

“Oh.” Juvia gasped out.

“Yeah it’s amazing isn’t.”

She pulled out a blanket from her bag lying it onto the ground. She motioned for Juvia to sit on it then followed once again lying her head in Juvia’s lap.

“I found it when me, Natsu, Gray, Erza, and Wendy went on a job in a town near here. I always wanted to come back here.”

She took Juvia’s hands again and pressed a soft kiss to the back of one. Juvia’s smile was so wide her cheeks stung. She laughed softy unable to contain her joy of being here, in her favorite dress with her favorite girl watching the sunset over the beautiful bed of flowers talking the night away.

In the end, the missed their second train. But they gained so much more.

[jzixuans]

Hey, I've been feeling down recently and was wondering if you had any Logince headcannons. Platonic or romantic work, whichever you feel more comfortable with. Sorry if I'm bothering you.

aw lad don’t worry about bothering me i’m glad to share some headcanons ! i hope you feel better soon!

now, might i interest you in some childhood friends-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers logince? [PREPARE FOR A LONG ASS BULLET FIC I’M SO SORRY (google docs says it’s 4.2k words oh my god)]

they’ve known each other since the first grade because oh my god they were neighbours

they were the kind of childhood friends that were aware of each other’s presence and they hung out a little on the playground and worked on group projects but they didn’t really click

there WERE occasions tho where their parents would sit them down together for play dates bc one or more of said parents were Occupied with Important Adult Stuff

and since this was way back when they were wee lil smols, they were hyperactive lil children

so they played lots of adventure games, lots of role-playing, play fighting, that kind of stuff (twas often the dashing daring prince accompanied by his wise magickal advisor)

okay, so maybe they did click, but only a little (so they say)

they liked most of the same stuff, reading, learning, doing stuff with all that knowledge in those big brains of theirs, and that was pretty much the base of their close-but-not-that-close-friendship

and then they got older, and as all kids do, they started prioritizing different things

logan still loved learning and applying that knowledge, but it was more of a ‘learn and apply what knowledge can make you really successful’ and that was how he found his love of science

for roman, it was more of a ‘take what you’ve learned and use it to create your own path to success’ because he planned to go into music and theatre

as a result of this, both boys were exceptional students, except logan cared maybe a little too much about the academics and roman not enough

as the years went by, logan threw himself into studying, making schedules and routines so that he could make sure he knows what he needs to know and maybe a little bit more on the side, who cares if he lost an hour of two of sleep?

roman just learned to go with the flow, so he took everything in stride, took in what he needed, left the rest, and focused on his art instead, even if he’s started to grow an unhealthy apathy to school

and maybe logan falls just short of perfect on his tests, and he looks over and roman has glowing one hundreds in red ink on his

logan looks back down at his and the teacher has written ‘Think outside the box!’

meanwhile logan answers every question in class with scary accuracy, beaming with pride whenever the teacher praises him, and after school that same day roman gets pulled aside with an ‘I know you’re smart, so why don’t you want to put in the work?’

of course logan’s parents wonder why his grades don’t match his progress work, and roman’s parents wonder how he can spend all his time singing and dancing and still come out with high nineties (“is he cheating?”)

and the two have been drifting apart enough as it was, but now they kind of hate each other because ‘why can’t i just be more like him?’

logan starts hating roman because ‘he doesn’t even CARE, how is he doing better than me?’ (part of him misses the days when roman cared so much about anything and everything)

roman starts hating logan because ‘he’s so stiff and condescending, why can’t he just be happy for me?’ (and part of him misses when logan would so willingly stand by his side as his faithful warlock advisor)

so naturally, competition just kind of,,,, grows between them, until they’re constantly at each other’s throats and everyone else watching the shitshow go down has absolutely no idea where the hell all this animosity came from

at this point logan has a new friend in virgil fray and roman has befriended patton hart (virgil and patton know not to bring up the boys’ ‘rivalry’)

of course, being neighbours, they can’t exactly escape each other, and their rooms are adjacent to each other’s (they used to just lean out their windows and talk side by side, but they haven’t in yEARS)

so it’s nearing summer, and it’s hot out so roman’s working on his homework with the window open when he hears this cry of frustration, the angry pushing back of a chair, and the throwing open of the door

his first thought is one of smug satisfaction knowing that logan is dealing with school worse than he is, but then a flash of black catches his eye underneath his window

he makes it to the window just in time to see logan hop the fence in his backyard, and that only means one thing: he’s going to the old park behind their houses

neither of them have touched that park in ages

roman is Intrigued™, so he caps his pen, turns off his lamp and tells his parents he’s going for a walk before dashing out the back door

when he gets to the park, logan’s somehow managed to climb on top of the roof of the play structure

and roman ain’t slick so he just stands at the bottom and yells up to him

and logan is Lost In Thought so he nearly falls off (lbr roman thought it was funny)

“what are you doing here?”

“well excuse me, suck-rates, i happened to notice that you weren’t doing too hot and wanted to see if you were okay.”

“like you’ve ever cared.”

“woah there, is blink 180-ew rubbing off on you?” 

“lay off of him.”

“alright, alright, fine. forgive me for checking in on you.”

“you have a horrible way of showing people that you care, then.”

“well you have a horrible way of being a good friend.”

it just kind of,,,, slipped out, and now both boys are Oh Shit

but both boys are also not the type to back down from their feelings so they kind of have the Silent Stare-Off of Stubborness

roman decides to be the bigger person (bc any chance to one-up logan) and cave first 

“so uh, what’s been bothering you?” (psh you thought he was gonna apologize first? not yet fam)

logan rolls his eyes bc this asshole amirite, but he wants to vent and this is probably his best opportunity to tell roman what’s really been bugging him

“i don’t know how you manage to do it.” 

“do what?”

“do so well in school! you don’t even try!” and damn dude that one stings because he sounds exactly like his parents and every other teacher

“so you’re angry because you’re jealous that i’m better than you at everything.”

“that’s not what i meant and you know it.”

“i’ll have you know that i do try.”

“but you don’t care.”

“about school.”

“what?”

“i mean yeah, sure, i don’t care about school that much because i don’t really need it to go into music or theatre, but i still do my work.”

“but―”

“don’t you dare say anything about my grades because you know damn well that you’re smarter than me.”

“am not―”

“besides, weren’t you the one that told me in the fifth grade that ‘grades don’t mean shit’? my my, what a foul mouth for ten-year-old logan crane.”

“shut up.”

“nah.”

and by now logan’s decided that roman’s probably not going to rip his head off so he climbs down to stand beside him

and maybe the sun is setting bc i’m a classy romantic

and they’re having a Soft Quiet Moment

“…please don’t tell me that school was the only reason why u hated me.”

“… why did you hate me?” smh lo you’ve got to stop deflecting

“…”

“are you kidding me.”

“YOU STARTED IT”

“what no you did shut up”

and wOw now it’s awkward so 

“oh would you look at that, it’s getting late, my parents are gonna think that i’m slacking again, better go. good talk let’s do this again sometime okay byee” and whoop roman just zooms off

and logan realizes that maybe roman’s life isn’t as perfect as he makes it out to be

but too late roman’s gone and he doesn’t want to look like he’s following him so he waits a good half hour before trekking back home

logan doesn’t finish his homework that night because he’s too busy rethinking the past many many years

the next day, he’s frantically trying to cram his work in during his lunch period

virgil takes one look at him and he says “dude, are you okay?”

“no”

“cool, let me know if i can do anything to help.” and maybe it’s a cold answer but logan and virgil are cold edgy people so that’s just how they do

after like twenty minutes virgil takes out his earbuds like “you haven’t complained or sent one angry glare in roman’s direction what the fuck is up kyle”

“i’m just…. stressed.”

virgil, externally: “yeah of course i feel u dude.”

virgil, internally: “i’ve seen you start a project at 3am the morning it was due without breaking a sweat but go off i guess.”

skip to later that night, logan finished his shit (he needed a distraction from the Roman Crisis) so he leans out his window for some Fresh Summer Night Air

and oho would you look at that roman had that sa m e  i d ea

but it’s one of those clear nights where you can actually see the stars and logan just got roman off his mind so he’s a lil distracted

but of course roman notices and now that they’ve gotten some of their ‘rivalry’ out of the way, he remembers how much logan loved to drag him out to the park as late as they were allowed to stay up to watch the stars, and logan looks so at peace here (he’s only really seen logan’s angry face recently)

roman wants to say something, because part of him really wants to make up with logan

but before he can work up the courage he’s interrupted by his mom calling him

“roman! are you done all your work?”

“yeah, mom! almost!”

“you better be going to sleep early tonight!”

and roman is about to duck back inside before he gets yelled at even more but oh no too late logan’s already noticed and now he’s staring at him

“uh, hey.”

“hi.”

“are you, uh, are you feeling better?”

“for the most part, yes.”

“that’s good. look, uh, i gotta go, but i’ll see you at school?”

“oh, right, yes. good night, roman.”

“night, lo.”

roman falls back into his room with a crash because ‘oh my god why was that more nerve-wracking than any performance i’ve ever done?”

logan sinks back against his wall with a sigh because ‘is roman avoiding me now?’

the next day at school the two actually say hi to each other in the hallway and it’s like the entire world stops moving. students are staring and whispering, virgil and patton exchange looks, and logan and roman only just now realize how big their rivalry had gotten

the two lock eyes and burst into laughter because something as simple as a passing greeting in the hallway has turned the school on its head

and the rest of the school has absolutely no idea what just happened when the two part ways, virgil and patton trailing behind them, dumbfounded

they catch each other on the way home, though they walk in silence

that night, they’re back at their windows, side by side once more, and they exchange small talk

a couple weeks later, exams are coming up around the corner and both boys are stressed out of their minds

logan’s still working well past midnight when he hears the old creak of roman’s window opening

“i see your lamp. are you still up?” he hears roman whisper, and maybe it’s the late hour, but his voice is hoarse and wobbly, and logan is most certainly not used to hearing that

“that’s a ridiculous question, of course i’m still up,” logan replies, still not looking up from his computer because his history final project is due in two days

except roman doesn’t reply, and all he can hear from his direction is shaky laughter, and then a wet sniff

“of course i’m ridiculous. it’s not like i’m smart or anything.”

“what?”

“if i were smart i wouldn’t’ve procrastinated this english paper and i could probably be getting some sleep right now,” roman continues like he forgot that logan was there

“roman―“

“and sure, i can do other stuff, but it’s not like it matters or anything, not to my mom, or mr. schmitt, or you―”

“roman!”

roman’s babbling stops and logan worries that he’s scared him off until he looks up and sees roman leaning halfway out his window and now logan’s worried that roman’s going to fall out and break his neck on his patio

roman’s eyes are red and his nose is rubbed raw from crying. his usually-perfectly-coiffed hair is messy and greasy from running his hands through it, his clothes are rumpled, and his grip on the windowsill is trembling

yet he’s still half out the window, eyes comically wide, and logan can’t help but shake his head at how big a dork he is

“i’m sorry.”

roman’s so startled that his elbows buckle and he barely manages to land back in his room so he doesn’t fall (didn’t expect logan to apologize first, didya?)

he’s barely back out the window when logan starts talking again

“i shouldn’t have dismissed you so quickly. you are intelligent and you are capable and you absolutely didn’t deserve any of my anger or bitterness or hatred. for that, i’m sorry.”

roman is, SHOCKED, to say the least. when they were kids, usually it was roman who apologized first, if at all, logan only after being prompted to by parents or teachers (which might’ve contributed to their drifting apart)

“i’m― thank you.” 

there’s a pause because it’s late and logan is really really bad at this

“i’m sorry, too. i only really hated you because everyone kept comparing us. that wasn’t really fair of me.”

“i guess not.”

“so i guess we both agree that we’re both assholes.”

“essentially.”

“cool.”

“what were you going to talk to me about?” and roman has an ‘oh yeah’ because he completely forgot what he came out here for

“i guess i just missed doing this.”

“i did too.”

and they’re not completely in the clear, because they have years of hurt to clean up, but in that moment, they just sit and talk, and maybe missing one assignment amongst a whole year of perfect grades won’t hurt

they’re butts tired in the morning but neither of them regret it, regardless of virgil and patton’s comments of ‘how much sleep did you get last night? you look like you’re about to pass out.’

that weekend, their finals are all handed in, exams don’t start until the next week, and they’re both sick and tired of studying so logan invites roman over and they lounge in his star-speckled room, talking about everything and nothing

roman’s busy going through logan’s stuff (“what? i haven’t been in here since the summer before the seventh grade”) so logan has a free minute to just,, watch him, and he just now realizes how much he missed having this ball of energy in his life (in a positive way)

after that day, the tension between them is almost gone and conversations are so much easier (virgil and patton get to sigh in relief because ‘thank god, i love them, but they needed to get their shit together’)

but alas, exams approach and roman calls logan late one night, in tears and stressed beyond relief, begging him to meet him at the park (he would’ve called patton, but patton’s never really been under forced academic pressure, and logan’s just a smidge more familiar for him)

logan’s out of the house without another thought, and he sees roman sitting up on the monkey bars with his knees tucked up to his chest (‘oh my god roman don’t you dare fucking fall’)

“i’m sorry, you were probably sleeping, but i just needed to get out of the house and―”

“please don’t apologize for reaching out. what― what’s wrong?”

“i just can’t! my mom’s been threatening to pull me out of music if i don’t do well on this exam because ‘math is more important than music’ but i don’t know anything! i’ve been scraping by pretty well on tests but i can’t fucking study and none of the information is sticking and―”

“roman, you’re hyperventilating. you need to breathe―”

“don’t tell me what to do!” roman regrets this Immediately because logan recoils his hand like he’s been burned. great, just another thing to feel Bad about. “i-i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

if this was a month or two ago, logan would’ve had a scathing remark about roman’s inability to control himself but now he just places his hand back on roman’s shoulder and taps gently with his finger

“you remember that school assembly from grade nine? the one about mental health?”

“yeah?”

“can you do that breathing exercise?”

“probably”

ten minutes later, roman’s cried himself out and he’s stopped hyperventilating but he can’t seem to stop his hands from shaking

logan has absolutely no idea what to do but he’s seen patton do it before with some of the younger kids so he holds his arms out (v awkwardly) and goes, “would you― would it be― would a hug help?”

this gets a lil laugh out of roman because he’s trying and that’s adorable so now he’s cry-laughing into logan’s shoulder

“your mother sounds an awful lot like your horrendous dragon witch. i suppose we must simply team up to defeat her.”

roman draws away so fast he bumps into logan’s chin

“OH MY GOD YOU REMEMBER THAT”

“like i could forget it”

“oh my god”

“i mean, i wanted to, but those were… fun times.”

“hell yeah they were.”

“when’s your exam? i can help you study, if you want.”

“in about seven hours.”

“…change of plans, you’re coming back with me, you’re going to sleep for six, wake up, get a cup of tea, and we’re going to do a brief review before school.”

“…okay.”

so they walk back to logan’s house (roman makes sure to tack a note to his bedroom door for his parents, he’ll face the consequences later), and they just, collapse into a pile of leggy boi on logan’s bed (they were too tired to argue about formalities)

logan wakes up with roman clinging to his chest and he very sorely misses that warm cuddly heat but Nope he is Determined™ to help roman get that bread

so he wakes roman up, plops his notes down in front of him and tells him to flip through it while he goes to make breakfast

roman is a jittery Mess all the way up to the exam, but logan promises that he’d be waiting in the cafeteria for him (it was his lunch period’s exam day so he a Free Boi) and he leaves roman with a “you are more capable than you know. you already have everything you need to succeed. and no matter what, you are valid.”

two hours later, roman comes out and he has Zero Confidence in his results, but logan greets him with a clap on the shoulder and the reassurance that “at least you’re done with this.”

they meet up with virgil and patton and go for lunch, and oho, perhaps this is the beginning of a New Squad

at the end of the week, on exam review day logan’s waiting out in the hallway to go to his next class to see his results when he sees roman sprinting down the hall with the biggest grin on his face

“i got an 84!!! thank you, you beautiful blessed nerd!!” because honestly? roman expected nothing more than a 52 so this was a very pleasant surprise, and now roman’s hugging logan so tight that logan swears he heard his elbow pop

the other students of the school are still processing because it was literally only been a little over a month since they started talking to each other again, and anyone out of the loop just got hella whiplash

(and if this burst of happiness and gratitude left a weird, bubbly feeling in logan’s stomach, well, he’ll just keep that to himself)

the next few summer days are spent hanging out, in their rooms, at their windows, at the park, and sometimes, virgil and patton join them

sometimes they’re in roman’s room, roman typing away on his computer with a dozen open notebooks scattered around him while logan lays on his bed, and the two bounce ideas back and forth for the next adventures of the daring prince c and his faithful advisor logos

and then they’re two weeks into the summer break, virgil’s off visiting family in china for the next few weeks and patton’s in the caribbean, so they’re just aimlessly tossing a ball back and forth in roman’s room while they talk about their futures and stuff because “oh my god they’re gonna be high school  s e n i o r s  in the fall“ ((‘gee, blink, don’t u think that’s a lot of drama for 16 y/os?’ yes absolutely, shut up))

roman chucks the ball at logan, who catches it in one hand and he’s smirking and roman has to take a moment to catch his breath because ‘why was that so hot omg’

over the next couple weeks the two are basically joined at the hip, and when they’re not hanging out, they’re texting or calling each other and it finally feels like they’re really making up for lost time

at the same time, they may or may not be falling for each other and they have no idea what to do with these Feelings™ 

logan doesn’t know how to what to do because virgil is v aro and the only other person he can talk to is roman, whOM HE HAS A CRUSH ON

meanwhile roman is v frantically texting patton like bro pls call me as soon as u get back there’s a cute boy hELP

it’s nearing the beginning of august when the two go into town to get food and ice cream and they’re laughing and joking and waving melted strawberry ice cream in each other’s faces and they’re sitting on a bench when they lean in real close mid laugh and ‘oh no his face is rIGHT THERE’

they draw away real quick but both of them realize that ‘that wasn’t horrible?’ and they slowly look back at each other and ‘oh.’

“is this―”

“um―”

“is this― i mean if you want it to be ―  is this a date?” and roman holds his breath because ‘dear god, please say yes’

“i’d like it to be, yes.” logan is terrified because he does  n o t  want to fuck this up

except now roman has the biggest grin and he absolutely does not care that he’s got ice cream dripping onto his leg

roman tackles logan into a hug because ‘he’s on a date with logan fucking crane’

logan is thrilled because now he gets to keep this excitable ball of energy who’s made him smile and laugh more in the past couple months than he has in years

(no diss against virgil and patton, but they can’t relate to logan and roman as well as, well, logan and roman)

they both have ice cream on themselves but neither can be bothered to care at this moment because they’re so damn happy

even after they go home that night, they stay up real late at their windows, side by side, just appreciating the company

it’s the next day, and they’re at the park, the sun is setting ((listen,,,, it’s an aesthetic)) and they’re sitting on the swings, holding hands ((they’re in love, babey!!))

“are we… does this make us boyfriends now?” logan is a v technical, official terminology person, of course he’d be the one to ask

“if you want to be boyfriends.”

“i don’t think i’d be asking if i didn’t.”

“then yeah, yeah we’re boyfriends.”

logan walks back into his house with a giant smile, and he plays that event over and over and over again in his mind as he lies awake in bed that night

roman calls patton immediately

and they may or may not scream about it together

logan sends virgil a short text that goes along the lines of ‘roman and i are dating now’ but in real life he’s so giddy that his fingers shake as he types it out

they have their first kiss in roman’s bedroom a couple days later

when school rolls back around in the fall, they walk through the doors hand in hand

and now their rivalry is nothing but a legend that the seniors tell the freshmen whenever someone complains about ‘that one couple that keeps making out in the math wing stairwell, excuse me, i just want to get to class’

[jimlingss]

pt.2 of yesterday

I don’t want to flood people’s dashes, so hopefully answering your messages here will suffice!

anonymous asked: Hi! I wanted to tell you how much I love your work and how you make me enjoy every Monday thanks to your regular updates ! I saw a previous anon telling you how your writings lacks of emotion and I totally disagree with them... obviously everybody won’t like it but your stories just DON’T lack of love or emotion this is madness I want to thank you for publishing your amazing stories freely here for everyone to read. (Sorry if my English is weird I’m french ejfjekfjd)

“this is madness” LOL

You’re hilarious, anon. And your english is perfectly fine!!!

anonymous asked: Hello! Im the culinary student anon who sent you an ask a while ago and i saw you received an ask about the lack of emotion from your stories. I read kitchen romance and i actually really really like it and don’t quite understand how it lacks in emotions as I interpreted the stories more like the beginning of the oc and jin’s love story and they are only starting to open up to each other so i guess thats why anon might feel like it lacks romantic vibe from both of the characters. (1)

Anonymous said: Just want to tell you that you’re one of the best writer and ive been following you for 2/3 years now, you never failed to amaze me with your writings!! All your stories are so well written that i sometimes wonder how do you come up with such an amazing plot every single time and your stories are always nice to re-read and the effort you pour into creating your stories is also admirable (2)

while i was reading kitchen romance and ive only started s&c (currently on chapter 4) i can say that its pretty similar with how it is irl (and the part where we find out jk is an iu fans reminded me of my ex-crush whose also a culinary student, i would like to tell you a story about it but ill just waste your time lol) , just want to send you a few encouragement and love for you and your writings *sending virtual hugs* (3) -👩🏻‍🍳anon

You’re too kind, thank you (and also, welcome back!). I’ll be frank, there was a hot second I was considering taking down Kitchen Romance but I didn’t cause I don’t want my efforts of editing it to go to waste asdfghjkl. I can’t believe you’ve been sticking around me for so long :’) it’s always nice to know some folks stay. Anyway, I’m glad that Sugar and Coffee is pretty similar to how it works irl since I tried my best to do research. I definitely love a good storytime as well so don’t worry about wasting my time :>

Anonymous said: a good majority of your fics display an unfathomable amount of DEPTH. regarding character development. plot. even the shortest lines of dialogue reveal so much more to the character and unveil their true emotions. i personally think the more REALISTIC side of love may be perceived as 'bland.' ‘emotionless.’ whatever you want to call it. nothing’s wrong with portraying a relationship that isn’t overboard with a whole lot of tooth aching fluff or lowkey annoying pda. +1

Anonymous said: there’s nothing wrong with taking out a bit of emotion to fit the PERSONALITIES of the characters. some people out there don’t necessarily feel a lot of emotions. so it’s honestly not really a mistake if a story lacks it (unless it was unintentional). subtlety is an art that is hard to master, but you’ve done it! and to respond to the anon, sometimes, if you skim through a fic without reading every word the author intended for you to read, +2

Anonymous said: then it’s quite common to not feel the full extent of the emotions you were supposed to feel. just a thought but no hate. we’re all entitled to our opinions. but besides that, kina, you write on a vast scale ranging from hardcore angst to diabetes-inducing fluff. and you do it beautifully. sure there are some stories that are better than others, but i believe a LOT of it comes down to personal preference and taste. +3

Anonymous said: even if you are feeling creatively limited, you work hard to continue writing for your readers, and your determination and diligence wILL NOT GO UNNOTICED. i just want you to know that you write amazingly. your syntax is practically immaculate, your characters feel real… the endings of your stories always wrap something up and the strings are tied—even if it isn’t necessarily a happy ending. you can convey hundreds of different characters through WORDS. +4

Anonymous said: i’ll have you know that it’s hard to write. it’s even harder to write about people who aren’t YOU. so as someone who looks up to you a lot, i want to commend you for your writing. some of your fics that i read on a monthly basis: tears of a villain, a piece of the moonlight, head over heels to hell, ghost in the machine, a mark of betrayal, a kiss of poison, until yesterday, the truth between us and arcadia. +5

Anonymous said: to be fair, there were way more fics but i didn’t want to make this message any longer than it already is LOL. i find these pieces wonderful. heart wrenching. and SO DAMN EMOTIONAL IT PLAGUES MY MIND FOR DAYS. also you’re literally one of the few fucking people who can use the em dash correctly. thank you so much for sharing your talent with us! +6

Oh my goodness. I don’t even know what to say, anon. This is a whole damn thesis and it’s about my fics :’> You know, it’s easy to brush off fanfiction as a ‘whatever’ thing and indeed, it isn’t that big of a deal compared to some things in the world. But I really do take all my stories seriously and put forth a lot of effort - so to see it recognized and appreciated it makes me beyond happy. It’s good to know that my efforts haven’t gone to waste at all and that there are people out there who will support me no matter the endeavours I take. Thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means to me.

((Also, honestly I picked up the em dash usage after I wrote The Truth Between Us with gukyi who used it. I’m pretty sure I’m not using it right but to hear that I am, god damn that’s a breath of relief right there))

backtobleuside submitted: Are you kidding me!? Your stories don’t lack love at all. They’re the kind of fics that you read, soak it all in and then come back for more. I’ve cried so much when I read Beyond reach, Boo-lieve in me, A piece of the moonlight, His name, Tell me lies etc. etc, and also laughed and felt the emotions of not just the OC, but also the other characters. Kitchen Romance was also so fluffy and sweet and personally, I don’t think that anything needs to be added to it. Anyway, your fics do not lack emotion—you’re probably the first author I send a message to because your stories impacted me a lot and left a strong impression on me. I even imagine your characters as real people who have real lives that continue on even after the story is done.

asdfghjkl thank you :’) I see you every week and sometimes several times at that. I really appreciate your consistent feedback and following. You never fail to send me a message too which I appreciate a lot. I’m glad you’re enjoying everything I’m producing!!

youngfleurever said: Would just like to say that your fics do in fact make me violently sob to the boy where my eyes are so swollen I have trouble opening them the next day and I wake up feeling like there’s sawdust in my mouth because I’m dehydrated.

oh my god. please keep yourself hydrated hahahahhaha more importantly, how do you know what sawdust in your mouth is like. WHAT have you been doing LOL

Anonymous said: I’ve felt emotions that I’ve never felt before when I read your fics.... so as a person that has read your entire masterlist, I DO NOT think that your fics lack emotion.... I hope you don’t feel disheartened because you’re one of my favourite writers, not just on tumblr but like, evER 💓💓💓💓💓💓

Please, even if I was disheartened, the overwhelming amount of feedback and praise has completely overridden it :’)

joonie-mono said: when tumblr deletes the first part of your ask 🙄😌✌️

LOOOOOOOL

haylo4ever said: Sorry had to add my 10 cents. You're such a talented writer,,, I WISH I could write a smol smol 1/1000000000 that you write,,, like I remember when I followed you bc I was in awe of your writing.... I mean?? Sure maybe not every fic hits it with someone but it's just ridic to name drop (a friend nonetheless) when you're all extremely talented writers.

Trust me, writing comes with practice!! I should honestly just tattoo that on me. God knows my first fanfic was absolutely GARBAGE. I didn’t know pacing, didn’t know that I should separate chunks of paragraphs, how to write dialogue or describe scenes properly. I went in blind. Even my second, third and fourth fanfic was garbage. You could definitely get to “my level” or even far surpass it with enough dedication and practice. I mean I’ve been writing for four years, so thank GOD there’s been improvement. I wouldn’t be natural if there wasn’t. But clearly the more you practice, the better you improve! That applies to anything.

The me in ten years will certainly be better now.

Anonymous said: Hi kina! I’m here in support of kitchen romance! I actually didn’t feel like it was missing a ton of fluffy moments (and I say that as a huGE LOVER OF FLUFF) but the story was just as entertaining in the whole chase of them getting closer to each other! It’s honestly one of my favorite one shots I’ve read lately and I’m not saying that lightly! Also, that anon that said your work lacks emotion has probably not read like half of your masterlist bc oO MAN QUEEN OF MAKING ME CRY- black heart anon🖤

Thank you :’]

Anonymous said: Ok I’m very offended wow the audacity!Specially coming for my baby kitchen romance like that story made me feel so much and it’s only one of the many fics you have written kina like I’m literally baffled like dynasty has made me cry scream happy and hot all at the same time and I was literally just thinking about it that whole weekend and this anon has the nerve to say your stories lack emotions?When you are literally the queen of show casing all types of emotions in your stories!You did it all

Anonymous said: Also 😭😭😭😂😂😩hoooooooow and whereeee did they see any lack of love and emotions like have you read jungle park???? Inside my mind??? FREAKING SUGAR AND COFFEE (like this fic is made with love and I- ) Actually you know what , just read the whole masterlist😩😩💗💗💗

LOL tbh I didn’t expect Dynasty to receive the love it has. I was actually kind of wary when posting it cause it’s kind of Wild. 

bangtans-peaceful-piegon said: just gotta say u handled that whole anon thing so well which not only makes me admire u as a writer but even more as a person :] (i mean i knew u were gr8 before the whole deal but yeah love ya 💛)

tbh, I’m not sure how well I handled it cause I was flooded with over 30 messages afterwards (evidently) ;_; which I love and appreciate but I’m not really as hurt as some people think hahaha criticism should be received well but it’s still hard not to take personally tbh. It’s gonna have to be something I work on or perhaps it’ll be one of those things that I’ll take better with age.

[clintashaotp]

Could I please request a clintasha fic then? One where Nat and Clint were kinda together/sleeping together forever and then one night just had a massive fight. Ever since then, they haven’t spoken to eachother and Clint has got a new girlfriend. However during this time, Natasha finds out that she’s pregnant. She doesn’t know how to tell Clint and she’s terrified. He finds out after a while when he notices how sick she’s been lately and he’s so worried for her. Thank you :)

Author’s note/summary: As I was writing this, it turned out so much longer than I thought, so it will be posted in three parts. This is part one of three! I hope you guys like it, sorry it’s so long :)

Weakness

1,445 Words

Happiness wasn’t something Natasha let herself have. Happiness meant something she was attached to, and attachment meant weakness. Natasha had never allowed herself to find joy in something until she met Clint Barton. 

He was a dork, that was the fact of the matter. Looking back, Natasha wasn’t sure she would have even fallen for him if he hadn’t always been making those dumb jokes to make her laugh. She would roll her eyes afterward, but the warm feeling in her chest would remain. 

Their first kiss was in Hungary, after a mission, when they were both exhausted and hungry and ready to collapse. Almost delirious with sleep deprivation, Natasha had leaned over to kiss his cheek, to congratulate him. Lo and behold, he was attempting the same thing, and…the cliche became a reality. 

But their first real kiss was Budapest. The details of the mission were enough to make a warm blush come to Natasha’s cheeks, but she could never reveal the actual subject of the mission. Or what she had to do to distract him. 

When they reconvened back at the Quinjet, both were too tired to speak. But this time, it wasn’t Natasha who leaned in–Clint’s lips pressed against hers with purpose, and she remembers the moment her brain short-circuited, trying to desperately make a decision, but when he pulled away and their eyes met, she melted into his arms, their lips locking again with passion. 

After the first kiss, many more followed. In corridors, after training sessions, sometimes in a shared shower or in the back of a closet. The first time they went to the next step, their pleasure was mixed with love and passion for one another. Everything they did seemed to be about their love for one another, and it was a feeling Natasha had never truly experienced before. 

Until the fight, Natasha would avidly explain that she could never explain her love for him. It meant everything. Of course, he was her weakness, and everyone had one. But she was ready for him. She wanted him. And if he asked, she would spend the rest of her life with him. 

.........

“Natasha.” 

“No! No, you can’t–”

“Natasha! Listen to me!” 

“You don’t understand Clint, you can’t just do something like this and walk away!” she was in near hysterics, and both of them could tell. She ran her hands through her hair, trying to calm the shaking. 

“Natasha, this isn’t that big of a deal. I promise, it wasn’t–”

“It’s my story to tell, Clint. You know how much this means to me!” her voice raises, and he just shakes his head. 

“Why don’t you trust them?” he matches her volume, throwing his hands up in the air. “Natasha, come on, they’re your team for god’s sakes! Why can’t you just–”

“Why don’t you get this, Clint!” she screams, tears threatening to spill. “You got–were you drunk? You can’t do this to me!” 

“Are you kidding me?” he gasps, exasperated, and Natasha growls when he rolls his eyes at her. “Come on, Natasha. It’s not a big deal, what is it with you and trust issues?” 

“What do you even mean?” she gapes at him. “Do you think, I don’t know, the Red Room had anything to do with the fact–oh wait, you told the whole team about that, why don’t you just ask them!” her voice raises in pitch, threatening to crack, and Clint throws his hands up. 

“I’m done, Nat. You don’t trust me, you don’t trust the team–I just don’t understand why you’re overreacting like this.” he shakes his head, but feels tears pricking the backs of his eyes. 

“If you don’t understand this, then maybe you don’t understand me at all,” Natasha says, her voice finally cracking. “Maybe…maybe no one does.” 

“Maybe I don’t then, Nat.” Clint frowns. “I mean, what do you expect me to do about that?”

“Nothing,” she whispers, backing away. “Nothing, absolutely nothing. Get out.” 

“What?” 

“Get out of my room,” she growls, and Clint flinches when he sees her whip a gun out of the waistband of her shorts. “Get out!”

“You’re pointing a gun at my face, Nat!” he yells, hands raising to shoulder height anyways. “How am I supposed to trust you when you just pull a weapon on me whenever you’re freaking out?” 

“Get out!” she screams at him, shaking the gun in his direction, and he can see the crazed tears spilling down her cheeks. “Get the hell out, Clint Barton, and don’t you dare come back! Don’t you ever come back!” 

When he doesn’t move, she takes a step towards him, lowering the gun. 

“Don’t make me force you,” she growls, and Clint sees the Black Widow behind her red-rimmed eyes.

“Nat–”

“Out.”

He obeys, backing away slowly, and flinches when the door slams in his face.

On either side of the hotel room door, both assassins press their backs against the door, tears falling silently down the faces, and slide to the floor.

This can’t be the end of us.

.........

 But it was. And it is only five weeks later that the new trainee Bobbi Morse asks Clint on a date, right in the middle of the SHIELD break room. He is caught off guard, and he sees the image of Natasha in the back of his brain, but he says yes anyway, partially out of shock. 

“Great!” Bobbi blushes, fluffing her blonde curls. “See you at seven!” 

Clint watches her leave and sighs heavily. The perky trainee isn’t exactly Clint’s type, but he knows he needs to get over Natasha, and Bobbi is the first person to ask him out in a long time. 

It’s then that he catches Natasha’s eyes in the corner. Even after their fight, they still work in the same facility, and their previous encounters have been beyond awkward. Their eyes only meet for a fleeting moment, but her expression morphs from something he doesn't’ recognize to anger, and she stands quickly, abandoning her food and walking down the hallway, out of sight. 

He tries not to dwell on it, but her face sticks into his mind. Stop, he thinks to himself, you have a date tonight. Focus on that. 

Natasha rounds the corner of the hallway, breathing quickly, and presses a hand to her abdomen. The sudden realization hit her in the gut the second she saw Clint and Bobbi together, and it all made sense. The missed period, she thinks, fear pulsing through her bones, nausea, the tiredness. Natasha Romanoff takes a steadying breath. Of course, she doesn’t know for sure. But the nagging voice in the back of her head tells her that she’s right. 

She’s pregnant. 

.........

His date with Bobbi goes so well, he asks for another before the night is over. Dinner and a movie are most definitely a cliche, but he enjoyed it none the less, and Bobbi even gives him a kiss on the cheek and a wink before returning to her sleeping quarters in the SHIELD training facility. 

He walks back to his room in silence, his fingers brushing the spot her lips brushed his skin. He can’t help but think of Natasha–no. He was just on a date with Bobbi, thinking of his ex now was too much. He can’t. 

“We can go to an amusement park,” he mutters to himself aloud, smiling at the thought. A date with Bobbi, paired with roller coasters and funnel cake. That’s what will make him happy. He knows it. 

.........

And sure enough, two weeks later, he finds himself trapped on a roller coaster next to Bobbi, their hands intertwined, laughing elatedly as they fly through the air. 

When the exit the ride, she loops her arm through his, leaning against his shoulder. 

“This is really fun, Clint,” she grins up at him, and he smiles back down at her. 

“Yeah, thanks for this, Bobbi.” 

“I know this is kind of an awkward question,” she blushes, and Clint feels a bubbly feeling at the flush on her cheeks. “But…do you want to maybe go official? You know, boyfriend girlfriend?” 

“Yeah, Bobbi. I’d love that,” he laughs, putting an arm around her shoulders. 

“Really?” she grins, and her smile is infectious. 

“As long as that means another date, I’m down.” Clint nods, earning a laugh from Bobbi. 

She kisses him then, her hand cupping the back of his neck gently. He leans into her, winding his arm under her back. When they pull away, her face is even pinker, and he is out of breath. 

“Not bad, girlfriend,” he teases, and she just laughs, ruffling a hand through his spiked hair.

Part 2

Part 3