#It’s bad enough we have 1 annoying character but for 2 of them to riff off each other over and over is grating so glad tj miller wasnt in i

[holdtightposts]

Finally watched Deadpool & Wolverine.

I absolutely hate ryan reynolds. He plays the same character (van wilder) in nearly everything he is in. He is basically a more handsome Canadian version of chris pratt. I’m not wrong. Also, having worked with him and hearing from others who also have, he gives off that wolf in sheep's clothing vibe. He gives me the creeps and my instincts scream “don’t trust him.”

Because I never planned on paying to watch the movie and didn’t actually care for it, I was able to avoid all the spoilers.

SPOILERS BELOW

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I have to say this is the best of the trilogy.

Not because of the unexpected amazing cameos.

And definitely not because of the plot. No. Definitely not that.

It’s because tj miller isn’t in it.

Also, if you think about it, Deadpool & Wolverine is just an R rated version of Spiderman No Way Home. Getting by on cameos and nostalgia.

[angelofthequeers]

Ladybug and Reine Nuit: Chapter 3

Origins III

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

I didn’t think I needed to change much about the battle side of Origins because the important stuff is in the character interactions rather than the fighting, especially since this is only episode 1 and I have to set up the changes for the rest of the story. But I do try and deviate in later battles.

I’m also going to try posting this without the AO3 link just to test if external links are messing with my reach somehow.

Part 2 | Part 4

“The stone beings are scattered all over Paris, and for the time being, they are showing no signs of movement!” reports Nadja Chamack from the television. Marinette’s frozen in place, her heart in her throat, wondering if she’s got enough time to make it to the bathroom before she’s sick. “Police have cordoned off the area.”

The TV flicks to display the mayor, André Bourgeois. “We won’t stop until we find a way to get these people to their normal selves! But for now…we’re not making much headway.”

Then it’s back to Nadja, this time with a picture of Ladybug and Reine Nuit. “Paris is relying on our new guardian angels, Ladybug and Reine Nuit, to save us all. Our lives depend on them!”

Okay. That…doesn’t make Marinette feel much better about her complete and utter failure yesterday in not capturing the akuma, allowing it to multiply and infect more innocent people. She’d known she’d mess up, she’d just known it, she’d tried to warn Tikki…and the tiny kwami’s faith in her has proven to be their downfall. How can clumsy, awkward Marinette possibly be a superhero? Sure, Reine Nuit had messed up, but at least she seems to have the confidence to carry her. She’d been the one to jump in and get stuff done, after all.

Marinette jumps when a large arm lands around her shoulders, snapping her out of her thoughts, but it just turns out to be her father.

“Listen, I know how upsetting and scary this is,” Tom says, clearly having misinterpreted Marinette’s look of dread. “But don’t worry, sweetie; we’ve got two superheroes looking out for Paris, and the best way of helping them is to show them that we’re not scared, because we trust them!”

Ordinarily, Tom’s exaggerated fist-shaking would have made Marinette laugh; instead, she just looks down in shame.

“But what if Ladybug fails?” she mumbles.

“Then I’d come and save you!” Tom hefts a long baguette as a sword. “Super Baker to the rescue!”

Marinette giggles and leans up to kiss her father on the cheek. “Thanks, Super Dad!” she says before darting up to her bedroom to grab her purse. She pauses, looking at the vanity where she’s stored the earrings, and she takes the box out of the drawer, chews her lip, then nods and stashes the box in her purse.

She’s made her decision. She’s giving the earrings to Alya; the superhero enthusiast will do a much better job at being a hero than Marinette ever could. Tikki might be disappointed, but she’ll soon see that it’s for the best.

.

“Ladybug is just so cool!” Alya gushes to Marinette, who just stares down glumly as they turn into the school’s street. How Alya has this much faith in her, Marinette has no clue. But that faith should serve her well as the new Ladybug. “I saw her yesterday! I was so close to her! Uh…hiding! At the stadium!”

“That’s cool…” Marinette says, handing Alya back her phone. Alya doesn’t seem to notice her mood. “But why do you trust Ladybug so much? All these stone beings…and what about Reine Nuit?”

“Oh, of course I love Reine Nuit too.” Alya swells when she says the cat superhero’s name. “But Ladybug’s just so amazing and – and just – aaaaah, I can’t even! A real live superhero! I think she’s totally my gay thing.”

“But what if she’s not really cut out to be a superhero even though everyone thinks she is?” Marinette argues.

“What are you talking about, girl?” Alya squints at Marinette, leans in close, then snaps her fingers. “Oh, wait. I know what this is about!”

Marinette gulps. Does Alya know? How can she know?

“You’re scared!” Alya nudges Marinette. “But don’t be! I just know that Ladybug is a true superheroine! She’s going to protect us all! I believe in her. And I believe in Reine Nuit.”

If Marinette needed any more proof that she’s made the right choice, this is it.

“Please, Nathalie!” pleads a familiar voice as Marinette and Alya draw level with the school gates. To Marinette’s surprise, Adrien is being cornered by a woman with a dark pantsuit and dark hair pulled back in a tight bun, along with a gorilla-like man who could rival Marinette’s father in size.

“Wow, what’s going on with Adrien?” Alya says.

“You had your fun yesterday,” the woman says calmly. “Your father is furious that you disobeyed him. Please don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

“I just want to go to school like a normal kid! Is that too much to ask for?”

The woman sighs. “According to your father, yes. Come on, Adrien.”

Adrien’s dejected face is such a stark contrast to his wide-eyed, innocent hope from yesterday that something hot settles in Marinette’s belly. Before she knows what she’s doing, she’s storming over and planting herself in front of Adrien, hands on her hips, glaring at the woman and the thickset man.

“Listen here!” Marinette declares. “Adrien deserves to go to school just as much as anybody else! And if that makes his father mad then too bad!” She grabs Adrien’s wrist. “Come on, Adrien. You’re going to class and no one’s going to stop you.”

Adrien offers no resistance as Marinette tugs him inside the school, Alya rushing to catch up. Undoubtedly, the only reason that the woman and thickset man don’t come after them is due to the utter shock plastered across their faces, but Marinette still wants to make sure that they’re well within the school grounds so as not to tempt the two. Once they’re in the courtyard, she lets go of Adrien and jumps away.

“Sorry if I was out of line!” she says. Adrien just stares at her with an open mouth. “But it’s not fair that you shouldn’t be allowed to go to school just because you’re famous!”

“Oh – uh – no, apologise – don’t apologise!” Adrien’s cheeks pinken and he scratches the back of his head. “Actually…that’s the first time someone’s stood up for me. Thanks, Marinette. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

Marinette beams at him. Next to her, Alya is smirking at Adrien, but Marinette can’t possibly begin to figure out why.

“Once a monster, always a monster!” Chloé’s annoying voice declares from the other side of the courtyard. Marinette turns just in time to see Ivan storming off. “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!”

Marinette and Alya exchange furious looks. Before they can confront Chloé, however, Adrien gets in first.

“Chloé!” He storms over, fists clenched, but Chloé’s whole demeanour changes and she immediately latches on to him like an octopus.

“Adrikins!” she squeals. Their other classmates don’t exactly look all that impressed with Adrien, but their faces shift when he detaches himself from Chloé and steps away.

“That was totally uncool,” he says, crossing his arms. “You should be nicer to people, Chloé.”

“Pfft,” Chloé scoffs. “We don’t need to be nice to these peasants. You need to learn how to command respect!” Her face falls when Adrien turns and storms off. “Wait! Adrikins!”

“I thought he was her bestie,” Alix comments as Marinette and Alya draw level with them.

“Only because she was never mean around him,” Marinette says. “I talked to him yesterday. He’s actually really nice once you get to know him.”

“Huh,” Juleka says. “Who would’ve thought?”

“Maybe I should be his friend,” Nino says. “If he’s gonna sit near Chloé, I reckon he’ll need me to keep him sane.”

Marinette grins at Alya. “That’s a great idea, Nino. You guys should get to class. I’m going to go and find Ivan.”

With a little searching, Marinette manages to track down Ivan in the locker room, listening to music. After saving him yesterday and realising that his akuma had been a teasing note from Kim about his feelings for Mylène, Marinette had realised that he just needed a little push to confess to her, and she intends to give that push now and prevent him from giving in to negative emotions and being akumatised again.

“I’m no good with words, though,” Ivan mumbles.

“Who needs words?” Marinette says. “You could draw her a picture, send her flowers…”

“I could…write her a song?” Ivan says. Marinette beams.

“That’s a great idea! What girl wouldn’t want a love song written especially for her? Go for it, Ivan, and stay positive!”

.

“Hey, Alya, wouldn’t you want to be a superhero and go out and fight monsters and villains?” Marinette says when she and Alya have taken their seats in class. Her heart deflates at Alya’s response.

“Eh, not really. I’m more of a Lois Lane than a Clark Kent, you know? Why?”

“Oh…no reason.” Marinette stares down at her purse. Who else can she give the earrings to? She was so sure that Alya would be the right choice!

“You can’t ignore me forever, Adrikins,” Chloé sings. In front of her, Adrien doesn’t react. “Don’t worry, you’ll come crawling back to me soon enough when you realise that the riff-raff here aren’t worth it.”

“Shut up, Chloé,” Adrien growls.

“Hmm…” Marinette once again looks at her purse. If Alya doesn’t want to be a superhero, well, Adrien might be a great second choice. But how to get the earrings into his bag? Before she can figure it out, however, Stoneheart comes crashing into the classroom and grabs Mylène and Chloé amidst the screams of the other students.

“Gotta go! Need a close-up!” Alya bolts out of the classroom like her pants are on fire. Marinette dives under the table and starts to shimmy towards Adrien’s bag so that she can hide the earrings inside, but she’s thwarted when he whoops and jumps to his feet.

“Come on, Nino!” Adrien exclaims, his eyes wide and glittering. “We should go after him!”

“Uh…are you crazy, dude?” Nino says.

“Following him – seeing Ladybug and Reine Nuit – I’ve never felt so alive! I nearly got crushed to death yesterday!”

“That’s…not a good thing…?”

“Whatever! I’m following Stoneheart!”

“Wait!” Marinette cries. “Come back! You need –”

Adrien’s gone before she can even finish her sentence. With a groan, Marinette takes off after him, not quite managing to keep up as he runs through the streets after Stoneheart but managing to keep him in sight. When she rounds the corner, Marinette instinctively takes in the situation: multiple stone monsters, one of which has Reine Nuit clutched tightly in its fist, while she screams curses at it that have Marinette wincing.

“Hey! Let her go!” Adrien jumps onto the monster from on top of a car and kicks its fist. Although he doesn’t manage to hurt it, his kick makes it reflexively let go of Reine Nuit, who falls to the road with a groan and bounds back to her feet. But she’s not quick enough to save Adrien from being snatched up by the stone monster, which then heads after Stoneheart with Adrien squirming and shouting in its grip.

“Adrien!” Marinette shrieks. Reine Nuit barely spares her a glance.

“Get to safety!” the superhero orders her, leaping off after the stone beings. “Ladybug, where are you?”

Marinette’s frozen to the spot. Reine Nuit is alone – Adrien’s in danger – there are three innocent people being held captive – her fault, her fault, her fault –

“Gah!” Marinette fumbles for the box in her purse and inserts the earrings as quickly as she can. Tikki once again appears in a swirl of red light, beaming. “I need Ladybug!”

“I knew you’d come around!” Tikki says. Marinette sighs.

“I’m still not sure I’m up for this, but Adrien’s in danger. I can’t sit back and do nothing. Tikki, spots on!”

.

“Finally!” Reine Nuit could cry tears of joy when a familiar red figure lands on the monster that’s got Adrien in its grip.

“Reine Nuit, your staff!” Ladybug calls. Reine Nuit immediately springs to join Ladybug, using her staff to pry open the monster’s fist while Ladybug yanks Adrien out. Then they’re off, jumping through the streets in the direction of the Eiffel Tower, Reine Nuit using her baton as aid while Ladybug swings with her yo-yo, Adrien in her arms.

“Wow! I got rescued by Ladybug!” Adrien pulls out his phone and starts recording the instant Ladybug sets him down on the ground.

“Damn, this kid has no survival instincts whatsoever,” Reine Nuit comments. Ladybug snorts.

“Stay safe,” she says to Adrien. “Now we need to rescue the other two and take down the source.”

“Do we have to rescue Chloé?” Reine Nuit complains. To her surprise, Ladybug giggles.

“Afraid so, kitty cat,” she says. “We have to save everyone, even the civilians who don’t deserve it.”

“You hate Chloé too?” Reine Nuit high-fives Ladybug. “Awesome!”

“Uh,” says Adrien, “as much as I’m angry at Chloé, I do still care about her.”

“Fine, fine, we’ll save her,” Reine Nuit says. “But only ‘cause you asked so nicely. Let’s go, Ladybug!”

They arrive at the base of the Eiffel Tower near André Bourgeois and the police just as Stoneheart hurls Chloé at the ground. Although it pains her to do so, Ladybug swings in and snatches Chloé out of the air before she can become a yellow stain on the stone ground.

“I didn’t promise!” Chloé wails. Ladybug blinks.

“Huh?”

Now that Chloé’s out of the way and safely in her father’s arms, any concern on the police’s part seems to vanish; Officer Roger orders them to attack despite Stoneheart still having another captive.

“I have a new plan, unlike you!” Roger says when Ladybug protests. “Move aside and let the pros do their thing. You’ve already failed once!”

Ladybug deflates and looks down. “…He’s right, you know. If I’d captured Stoneheart’s akuma the first time around, none of this would have happened! I knew I wasn’t the right one for this job…”

“Oh, no you don’t.” Reine Nuit storms over to Roger and jabs a finger at him. “If it wasn’t for Ladybug, Chloé would’ve splattered just then! And if it wasn’t for Ladybug, Stoneheart wouldn’t have been defeated the first time around! Where were you guys? Oh, that’s right, cowering while we took care of it and I nearly got my spine broken!”

“Reine Nuit!” Ladybug dashes to pull Reine Nuit away from Roger, whose eye is twitching.

“You know I’m right!” Reine Nuit says. “Like you haven’t ever made a mistake before!”

“Hey!” Ladybug grabs Reine Nuit by the shoulders. “I appreciate the support. Really, I do! But maybe we should focus on the akuma rather than antagonising the police?”

Reine Nuit huffs and crosses her arms. “Fine. Only for you.”

“People of Paris, listen carefully!” announces a deep voice. Ladybug and Reine Nuit whirl around to find a swarm of purple butterflies hovering above a prone Stoneheart, in the shape of a face. Reine Nuit is keenly aware of Adrien skidding to a stop behind them, and she notices him raise his phone at the akuma swam. “I am Hawkmoth.”

“Hawkmoth?” Ladybug and Reine Nuit repeat together. Reine Nuit gasps. This must be the supervillain behind turning Ivan into Stoneheart! Oooh, now she knows who the true mastermind is! Her final archnemesis!

“Ladybug, Reine Nuit, give me the ladybug earrings and the cat ring now,” Hawkmoth says. “You’ve done enough damage to these innocent people!”

“Nice try, Hawkmoth, but we know who the bad guy is,” Ladybug drawls, clapping slowly as she approaches the akuma cloud. “Let's not reverse the roles here. Without you, none of these innocent victims would be transformed into villains. Hawkmoth, no matter how long it takes, we will find you, and you will hand us your Miraculous!”

With a cry, Ladybug throws her yo-yo at the cloud again and again, capturing akuma after akuma until the Hawkmoth face screams and explodes into purple butterflies. There’s not another sound anywhere; everyone is dead silent, staring at Ladybug as she lands on the Eiffel Tower and turns to face the helicopters in the air and people on the ground.

“Let me make this promise to you,” she announces. “No matter who wants to harm you, Ladybug and Reine Nuit will do everything in our power to keep you safe!” She opens her yo-yo and a cloud of pure white butterflies stream out, enveloping the Eiffel Tower before dissipating. All Reine Nuit can do is watch, her mouth wide open, her stomach twisting, her heart pounding, because this is so far from the timid Ladybug from yesterday and…wow. She’s always had a thing for strong girls who take no shit.

“I think I love her,” Reine Nuit murmurs.

“I think I’d love her if Marinette didn’t come along first,” Adrien adds, looking just as shocked as Reine Nuit feels.

All of a sudden, Stoneheart jumps to his feet. Reine Nuit jolts into action, leaping up to join Ladybug on the Eiffel Tower as Mylène screams for help, but Stoneheart just growls, “You’ll never take Mylène from me!” and starts climbing further up the Tower. Crashing sounds alert Reine Nuit and Ladybug to the fact that the other stone monsters are also climbing the Tower.

“We’re surrounded!” Reine Nuit announces. Her stomach churns at the sight of the monsters climbing on all sides, keeping her and her partner trapped where they are. “What do we do, Ladybug? If we attack him, he just grows bigger.”

“But we do know where his akuma is,” Ladybug points out.

“Yeah, in the fist with Mylène. He’s never gonna let her go.”

Ladybug frowns up at Stoneheart, then her face clears. “That’s it! If Stoneheart’s in love with Mylène, then we don’t separate them! We bring them closer together!”

“Uh…okay?” Reine Nuit says. “I mean, I don’t get it, but you sound like you know what you’re doing. I’ll just ruin whatever you tell me to ruin.” God, it’s only been a day and she’d follow this girl anywhere, and she proves this by bounding up the Tower with a swinging Ladybug to where Stoneheart and Mylène are.

Surrounded by stone monsters, with Stoneheart not letting Mylène or the akuma go any time soon and Reine Nuit getting slapped around from monster to monster like a game of volleyball, Ladybug finally ends up summoning her Lucky Charm.

“A parachute?” she exclaims. “What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Hurry up and figure it out!” Reine Nuit calls as another monster slams her into the cool metal of the Tower. “Owww…I’m gonna feel this in the morning…”

“His hand! Get ready!”

Reine Nuit rolls to dodge the next attack, then looks up in time to see Ladybug manipulate Stoneheart into kissing Mylène with her yo-yo like a puppeteer. In shock, Stoneheart drops Mylène, who screams and clings to his gigantic pinky finger, while Reine Nuit flings herself off the Tower to bat the little purple wad of paper up at Ladybug before using her baton to anchor herself against the Tower.

“Woo!” she cheers. “Forget drugs, this is the best rush I’ll ever need!” Maybe she should become an anti-drugs spokesperson on the side. Gotta use her powers for good, right?

However, this presents another problem: as soon as Ladybug frees the akuma, Stoneheart turns back into Ivan and both he and Mylène go plummeting towards the ground. At Ladybug’s order to save Ivan, Reine Nuit says, “Cataclysm!” and black sparks of power rush to her ring, fizzing, making her hand tingle with the same cold power as when she transforms from Alya into Reine Nuit. She uses her baton as a spring to leap up towards Ivan, slamming her hand against the Tower and gasping when the metal under her palm immediately rusts and ages.

Whoa. This is so cool.

A long shard of corroded metal splits and falls away to jut out into the air, giving Reine Nuit the perfect leverage to swing out and grab Ivan by the back of the shirt before he falls past her. A moment later, Ladybug’s yo-yo zips past her and back up to where they just were.

“Gotcha!” she hears Ladybug cry. Wow. She was totally right about Ladybug being so awesome. Okay, so she’s Reine Nuit and she’s a superhero, but – but Ladybug is Ladybug! Reine Nuit keeps hanging with Ivan, unsure of how exactly to get down, until Ladybug calls, “Miraculous Ladybug!” and a swarm of red and black ladybugs swirl around the Tower, righting everything that’s been wronged. One of these wrongs includes depositing Reine Nuit and Ivan on the ground and restoring Reine Nuit’s baton to its usual place at the small of her back, along with draining away all the aches and pains she’s accumulated over the course of the battle.

“Whoa,” an awestruck Adrien says from nearby, trying to get as much of the healing swarm on camera as he can. “Are you guys seeing what I’m seeing?”

“Yeah!” Ladybug gasps. “It’s beautiful! And amazing! It’s – it’s miraculous!”

.

Although Marinette’s heart is pounding as she sits down in her usual seat with Alya rather than at the front, she can’t deny that it’s totally worth it to see the look of sheer apoplectic rage on Chloé’s face when she tells the blonde to get lost because she sure as hell isn’t moving and “all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good people do nothing”. Alya grins at her.

“Good job,” Alya says, fist-bumping her. Adrien enters the classroom at that moment, and his face lights up when he sees that Marinette and Alya are sitting behind him and Nino.

“You guys missed the best action!” he says, pulling his phone out. “I was there! So close to the action that I actually got grabbed trying to help Reine Nuit!”

“Dude,” Nino gasps. “Really?”

“Yeah!” Adrien’s grin widens. “But Ladybug saved me! Look!” He plays them the footage of the battle at the Eiffel Tower, and Marinette’s a little astounded at how clear the video is. Then again, it is a very good quality phone that Adrien has.

“I bet your father was happy that you went running after an akuma,” Alya smirks.

“Oh, he was furious,” Adrien says cheerfully. “But it was such an adrenaline rush! After years of being cooped up in my own house, it was like I was alive for the first time! Man, it would’ve been so cool to be a hero.” He pouts at his phone and says, “Guess I’ll have to settle for being Lois Lane. But I still don’t know what to even do with these videos.”

“Why not post them online?” Alya says. “People would kill to see that kind of footage.”

“True,” Adrien says. “Now I just need a catchy YouTube name.”

“And I can edit the videos for you if you need,” Nino says. “I love filmmaking, man.”

“Sweet!” Adrien high-fives Nino. “This is gonna be awesome!”

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Gormless Ch. 2 - Nudie Groovin’ straight into a plot crater.

A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband.  In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England.  Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag.  She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon.  He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok.  Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything.  Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government.  She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause...cause.

Last time on Gormless:

Alexia’s husband gotta do a thing in London. Her lawn is full of hot werewolves and the hottest one tried to both beat the shit out of her and fuck her. She’s not into being beat up, but she still wants to fuck him. That’s healthy.  She’s gotta get to London too but her token dumb friend, Ivy, shows up and wants to talk about how she’s engaged to someone she doesn’t love.

Chapter 2 - Nudie Groovin’ straight into a plot crater.

Maccon is running his little wolf butt over to London where the problem is.  As he’s running he thinks, “My wife has said I’m handsome in my wolf form but never in my human form.”

Damnit Alexia you’ve implied you think dogs are hotter than people twice already and we’re only at chapter two and like...I’m all for horny female leads, but Alexia is directing her horniness in every direction and some of them are incorrect. 

Meanwhile Ivy is fussing over the servant who got punched, Tunstell.  Ivy and Tunstell were the two that Lyall and Alexia tried to shack up at Alexia’s wedding. So, as predicted, Ivy is marrying somebody not Tunstell cause DRAMA!  However in the span of 2 pages they make…I shit you not…7 separate references to how badly the two are pining for each other.  Mind you some of the references are multiple sentences long and this type face is fucking enormous.

They’re not even cute, clever, or even amusingly overplayed. After this many references in such a short time frame I’d count that as haha FUCKING ANNOYING!  Alexia, like a good friend, tells Ivy that Tunstell is a servant of the pack so he can become a werewolf someday, and that if he gets to that point he’ll probably die during the transformation.  If he doesn’t get to that point, Tunstell as an actor is paid in dirt and dysentery. So it’s better that she’s marrying any other dude.  That was some ice cold shit that I was honestly not expecting at all out of her.  Alexia personally tried to get the two of them together at the end of the last book, and her recent ~romance~ bloomed against all odds.  The only reason she’s dumping this shit on Ivy is to make sure this drama lasts more than a chapter…or maybe she doesn’t think Tunstell and Ivy have a healthy relationship cause they don’t spend all of their interactions screaming or fucking or scream-fucking each other.

But eventually Alexia remembers she’s late for a meeting so she hops in her carriage to get there.  Ivy goes with her and it’s stated that Ivy relates to Alexia her wedding plans for 2 hours straight.  And oh lord, I have been in similar situations. A part of me feels for Alexia, but another part of me is like...not long ago I read what felt like 20 pages of wedding dress, food, and decor descriptions.  So she gets what she deserves.

We eventually get to the meeting and thus meet the head werewolf and vampire who she just refers to as their titles.  The head werewolf is called a Dewan and is a big hairy grump who high-key hates her. The head vampire is called a Potentate and is a slimy suck-up who low-key hates her.  

Let’s set the timer for when they both begrudgingly come to respect her!

We tediously re-explain the humanization phenomenon and introduce the ~glassicals~ again.  Great that was so important and hilarious from the last novel.  The Potentate also implies there’s a supernatural race stronger than the ones we already know. DUN DUN DUN!  Also that an Alpha werewolf from Maccon’s old pack has mysteriously died.  DUN DUN DUN!  Eventually both the Potentate and the Dewan accuse Alexia of causing this humanization problem in London but eventually they all decide it is some ~science~ thing.  They also bring up all the soldiers are coming back at the same time but the literal head of the military, the Dewan, when asked about this is like, “I honestly don’t know? I think it’s cut-backs I guess?” I’m glad we have an ominous plot point to build mystery and tension, but I really wish you didn’t slip it between two slices of real shit writing.

So they put Alexia in charge of investigating this phenomenon. So what does Alexia do? She goes home, reads some books in her library, gives up, and goes to bed.

She does not send people out to interview those who have ties to anti-supernatural movements, investigate abandoned buildings, quiz any scientists working in the science of the supernatural, check to see if any supernatural people where murdered since it’s been going on, see if it started in certain parts of London before others, or question powerful supernatural people in the London area to find some potential suspects. She could also try to figure out if anything else was happening around the same time for clues, like I DON’T KNOW how all these military folks are coming back at the same time?

Nah bro, just read old ass books you’ve already read for clues to a brand new phenomenon.

In the first book it made sense that she just wandered around and asked her buds for help cause she was a nobody just curious about shit.  She’s now one of the most powerful women in the most powerful nation and now she’s doing less than the 1st book?  Yep she is a keen investigator! Glad you put her in charge Queeny!

So Maccon comes back, says the humanization thing has suddenly and mysteriously stopped.  We almost get more information but they do the thing they’re best at. By that I mean, they sorta put in a token effort to argue with each other over petty bullshit but they’re too horny to care enough and bang.  But we get fade to black don’t ya know. K book, that’s why I have an adult novel!

Say something nice faps:

At least there’s plot.  Plot that is starting mysterious in order to build some tension.

Lots of exposition in this chapter that’s not total garbage.

I can approve of Ivy having a crush on Tunstell, the dramatic twink. I would feast for years upon dramatic twinks before I’d even glance at 1 perfumed Neanderthal.

They make a gay joke at Maccon’s expense while he’s naked.  And a part of me thrills to see an egotistical homophobe humiliated.

Gotta agree with the higher ups, Alexia does suck, but it’s best not to feed her hungry-as-hell persecution complex.

When Maccon and Alexia bang it implies that Maccon goes down on her. And like…cunnilingus is awesome okay, I’ll celebrate consensual cunnilingus almost anywhere.

[ikinconnormurphy99]

Okay I have decided

BLONDE SIDE CHARACTER > BRUNETTE MAIN CHARACTERS

Let me explain (studios hehe)

We all know the blonde side characters are better, like seriously they are

Not just in attractiveness (though very true) also if characteristics there just ✨Better✨

EXAMPLE

1.Newsies (1992)

Spot Conlon vs Jack Kelly

We gotta go for Spot, I can already see the comments BuT HeS nOt bLoNde hIs hAirs blah blah blah IDC ITS CLOSE ENOUGH TO BLONDE LET ME LIVE MY DREAMS

2. Boy Meets World

Cory vs Shawn

YOU HAVE TO GO WITH SHAWN HERE

I may be biased cause he's literally my favourite character ever but SHUT UP OK

Also yes before you say "Cait how colour blind are you these people are both not that blonde-" YES THEY ARE

SPOT IS DIRTY BLONDE AND SO IS SHAWN

3. Harry Potter

Harry vs Draco

Big surprise I pick Draco

Don't stan the actor but Draco as a character? Amazing

Ik he's mean and dose called Herminone a mud blood but idc in my eyes villains will always be better then heros,

There more interesting and fun and yes I do have issues

4. The Maze Runner

Thomas vs Newt

YOU HAVE TO PICK NEWT

GOD I LOVE HIM

He's so.....UGH AMAZING

Hes so caring and respectful but also so tough and smart

He loves Thomas and tried to save him

Imma bout to make all TMR fans hate me right now but

Please Tommy.....please

🎵RIP THAT NEWTIE AYYYYYYYY🎵

It's like 7 months later BUT I HAVE MORE

5. West Side Story

Tony vs Riff

Obviously Riff come on

I may be biased bc Mike Faist is literally a angel from heaven (and Ansel clearly is the opposite) but Riff clearly wins here

6. Little Shop Of Horrors

Seymour vs Orin

I'm so sorry but Orin

HES SUCH A BAD PERSON I DO NOT CONDONE HIS ACTIONS BUT THE WAY THE CHARACTER IS PLAYED IS SO AMAZING

Seymour really annoys me idk why

Is this only bc I'm playing Orin in my company's Little Shop?? Yes. Yes it is but idc :)

I AMMMMMMMMMMM YOUR DENTIST

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

These are just my opinions please don't get mad at me I just thought it was funny

If you find anymore feel free to leave them in the comments :)

[spaceorphan18]

Changed For the Better 2 [Klaine Advent Day 2]

Rating: S for Shenanigans Word Count: 1904 Summary: AU - Kurt’s a struggling actor living in New York, and is currently working on a Made-for-TV movie starring Cooper Anderson.

A/N: Written for Klaine Advent Day 2: Bucket

[Part 1]

///

Changed for the Better - Part 2/24: Me Against the Music

“What do you mean you don’t want to do it - Kurt, you love the musical.”

“I don’t know, Rachel…”  Kurt was sitting in his allotted room in the studio, just off set, waiting for the next scene to be set.  Rachel had called him four times already, and he figured he should at least call her back before she blew up his phone with messages.  

“C’mon, please, Kurt, it’s just a small little thing - a nice way for you to jump back in on the stage.  Jesse and I will be playing Brad and Janet.  And Jesse said he’d even be able to get you the part of Riff-Raff.  Come on, Kurt you have to - it’s Rocky Horror!” Rachel was using her best pouty voice, but still he wasn’t swayed.  

“I’m pretty sure I’ll still be shooting this movie when the performance comes around,” he said.  That was probably not true, there wasn’t much left to shoot, but doing a small production of Rocky Horror Picture Show with a thrown together cast of amateurs in a tiny venue for pretty much themselves didn’t sound as appealing to him as it did to Rachel.  

“You know what, Kurt, I know what this is. You’re just playing scared.  You haven’t done a stage play in two years.  TWO YEARS.”  

Ug, not this argument again.  “Rachel…”

“Also Mercedes says you have to, too.”  

There was a bit of shuffling as the phone passed hands.  “Kurt, it’s Mercedes, you are getting your ass up on stage again so I can hear you sing.  I don’t care if it’s as Magenta, you’re doing it.”  

Kurt cracked a smile - the voice of Mercedes had spoken.  

Before he could answer, however, one of the film’s production assistants knocked on the door.  He was needed on set again.  

“I’ll think about it, okay?” he said.  There was a knot in his stomach just thinking about being on stage again, and he wasn’t sure if that was from anxiousness or excitement.  “I’ve got to go, I’ll see you guys later.”

They were using the outdoor set again for shooting that day.  Normally, the set was dressed for a typical Midwestern city street and bookstore front, but today was special.  Today Christmas had vomited all over the set.  The pine trees were all decorated with glitzy ornaments, the lampposts had garland and ribbon and tinsel.  The bookstore’s windows had been frosted.  There were blinking lights flashing everywhere.  And snow.  Oh god, there was so much fake snow.  

They were still laying it, big, fat flakes being showered from high above.  And right in the middle of it, mostly likely near her mark, was the female lead - Brittany S. Pierce - dancing in a circle, her hands waving around her head.  She almost looked like a child on the first day of winter break.  She moved silently, and gracefully, in her own happy little world.  Kurt wondered if she had had any dance training, because her movements were well timed to the rutting of the machine spitting out the fake snow.

THWACK

Kurt had been so caught up in watching Brittany that he hadn’t notice Cooper and his well aimed snowball to the face.  He threw Cooper a glare, as Cooper doubled over in laughter.  Thankfully, it brushed right off, and he wouldn’t have to go back into make-up.

Fifteen minutes later, and they were taking their spots, the director going over the notes for the scene.  It was a big day.  It was the day of the big Christmas proposal.  Kurt rolled his eyes at the idea of spending the next seven hours on this one scene.  Did they really need to do it from twenty-four different angles?  At least he had only one line, and could easily blend into the background easily enough.

The first few takes went as well as expected.  Cooper was intense and over-the-top.  Brittany was awkwardly goofy and a bit stiff.  But something happened the more they ran the scene.  Cooper toned it down, he even managed to stop pointing.  Brittany relaxed, and seemed to forget that the camera was there (she still had difficulties not looking straight into the camera).   

If there was one thing that this film got right, it was the casting.  Cooper, despite his questionable acting skill, was perfect for the melodramatic Kyle, and Kurt didn’t know if there was a difference between Brittany and her character of the absent-minded and quirky Darla.  They had an easy chemistry on and off set - and if Kurt didn’t know better, he would have thought they were dating in real life.  They weren’t, however, because Brittany’s girlfriend-slash-publicist was always lurking around the set, reminding everyone about their epic love story.  But the girlfriend wasn’t there today, so maybe that helped Brittany focus.  

Everyone on set seemed to be more focused than usual.  Maybe it was the decorations and their cheerfulness, maybe it was the twinkling reds and greens, silvers and golds coming off the lights.  Maybe it was the glitter of the tinsel, or the sweeping music the director kept playing in-between takes.  Or maybe it was just the brightness of the snow.  Kurt began to forget that it was actually late June, and that they were all acting - he was beginning to feel it.  

“Darla, we met at this spot, this exact spot,” Cooper-as-Kyle said as he kneeled down on one knee.  For a second, Kurt didn’t see the annoying Cooper he was used to.  He saw the beautifully chiseled Kyle, looking at the woman he loved.  “And I brought you here because this is where I wanted to tell you that I knew - that I knew that I wanted to love you and be with you for the rest of my life.  So, Darla - my girl - will you marry me?”

And Brittany-as-Darla’s eyes lit up, and she grabbed the ring Cooper-as-Kyle has pulled out of his pocket.  “Yes, yes of course.”  

Cooper-as-Kyle jumped up, and kissed her passionately, picking her up and swinging her around.  

And for a moment - Kurt forgot that this wasn’t real life.  It was like those old movies he and his mom used to watch at Christmas together.  It was like all those silly fantasies he had as a child.  It was like all those favorite romantic moments that used to pull at his heartstrings.  It was magic and he was there.  

Until he wasn’t.  

Suddenly everything stopped, and all eyes were on him.  

Shit, his line.  

Reality hit him again hard.  

He couldn’t even spit out his line before the director yelled cut.  

“You know, Kurt, it’s not very professional of you to stop the brilliance of the scene I was sharing with dear Brittany here,” Cooper said.  “I realize our radiance is captivating, but you have one line and you should probably try to get it right.”

Something in Kurt snapped.  “Why don’t you get off your high fucking horse, will you?  Not all of us can be as perfect as you are.  Some of us make mistakes, so why don’t you just fucking deal with it.”  

Cooper stared at him stunned.  Everyone around him stared at him - stunned.  

Cooper gave him that look, the one where it looked like he was trying to process a complete thought.  “Well, I give you an A+ for intensity, but I’m not sure it’s needed in this scene.”  

Kurt let out a long, frustrated half scream-half grunt.  “God, you are driving me crazy.”  

Kurt wasn’t usually the one to bring the drama to the set.  In fact, most days, most of them didn’t even know he was there.  For a moment, he was worried the director would take him aside and fire him right on the spot.  But instead, the director turned back to the crew, instructing them to rearrange the cameras instead.  He nearly had a meltdown in front of the entire cast and crew.  And no one seemed to notice.  Worse, no one seemed to care.  

Knowing the break would last a good ten minutes at least, he went and sat on the fake, styrofoam steps of the fake bookshop storefront.  

Someone, however, did notice.  Brittany came over to him, grabbed a handful of the snow and sprinkled it on his head, giggling a little.  

“I’m glad you’re enjoying this,” he said, his voice gruff.  

She took a seat next to him, grinned, and looked him over.  

“You know, you shouldn’t interrupt people’s proposals.  It’s bad luck,” she said.  

“Is it?” He never claimed to understand Brittany logic.  “You know this is pretend, right?”  

Brittany gave a little shrug, and looped her arm in his.  “You know you remind me of Lord Tubbington, if Lord Tubbington was more like grumpy cat and less like a Dubai slumlord.”

“What?”

“Kurt, you can’t lie to me,” Brittany looked him straight in the eye, her blue eyes full of concern.  “I know that you’re having a hard time.  I know it’s probably not easy when you’re a unicorn like I am, and are meant for bigger things than what you think this is.  But I also know that you don’t actually hate it here, even though you act like you do.  I know that you claim to be antisocial, but you’re probably pretty lonely. I know that while you think this might be just a movie, you wish it were the real thing.  And I know that, secretly, you love bubbly, romantic things like I do, because you wrote on your bucket list that you want a huge, sappy, romantic wedding.”

Kurt gave her a strange look.  “How do you know I have a bucket list?

“Oh, sometimes I read your phone when you go to the bathroom.”

“Brittany!”

“Santana said it’s okay to share phones when you’re special friends,” Brittany said.  “No, but Kurt, look.  Cooper and I are both really worried about you.  You never come hang out with us, despite the fact that we’re totally awesome.  And we don’t think you’re getting enough sex either, because we’re both sure that having a penis up your butt might be better than the stick that seems to be lodged there.”

“Please tell me you have not had this actual conversation with Cooper,” Kurt said, as he buried his head in his hands in embarrassment.  

“We want to hook you up,” Brittany said, shaking his arm.  “Cooper wants to set you up on a date with his brother, who is totally lame.  And you’d know that if you hung out with us every once in awhile.  While I want to hook you up with my dad’s friend Walter, who is funny, and super smart, and like, fifty-eight, and really nice.”  

Kurt groaned.  “No, Brittany…I had this talk with Cooper a few days ago.”

“Yes, but look - you can sit here, and be sulky, and be sad that your British boyfriend dumped you over text--”

“How much of my phone did you read?”

“And really, you should delete those messages because that’s not helping anything.  Or you can accept that you are a special unicorn like us, and deserve all the wonderful things that come with that.”

Kurt let out a sigh, and leaned his head against Brittany’s shoulder.  “Being a unicorn is hard.”

“I know.”

...

“Hey, Brittany?”

“Yeah?”

“Please stop going through my phone, okay?”

“But Santana said--”

“Sometimes, it’s okay not to listen to Santana.”

[slothcritic]

Dragon Ball Z Abridged - Episode 1

Rocky start. Piccolo is the only saving grace of this episode.

Right, let’s get right into this one.

“The Return of Raditz! … Wait…” starts off with a standard “nature is beautiful” sequence that begs to be usurped in any non-documentary video. Record scratch, something crashes into the ground and scares the pink turkey chickens milling about. The farmer cries for his marijuana patch (which admittedly I find hilarious) but then corrects himself to say its actually totally just a carrot patch guys. But no one is around, so this feels more like a jab at the viewer, for the creators to say “Ah? Ah? You see that? We’re funny.”

After a pointless joke about arriving at Earth “with open bar” and a clumsy comparison to Sonic the Hedgehog, Raditz makes his appearance, and within his first line of dialogue mentions two characters that haven’t appeared yet. This creates a problem.

On the one hand, foreshadowing and inside jokes are awesome: Much later in the series, Goku references Goten and Vegeta references Tarble. These examples work... if you’ve seen the source content. Granted, it’s an “abridged” series, you might be thinking “well, who HASN’T seen the original DBZ?” and I can tell you that I specifically watched DBZ just so I would understand all the jokes from DBZA. I watched four episodes in, got annoyed with all the very obvious jokes and references I was missing out on, and binged the entire DBZ series over the summer. It’s also simply a matter of how well you can tell a story, and leaving out key plot points because you feel like your viewership is already “in the know” isolates outsiders.

I understand most of the references within DBZA (not all of them, the later episodes get incredibly subtle), but a fresh observer might not. So for someone who’s never seen DBZ, this is confusing and unnecessary. So it doesn’t work for them.

This specific example isn’t remarkable either for show-watchers. Raditz mentions Kakarot and Turles, and while the former works, the latter doesn’t. Turles is too inconsequential to the story and is completely removed from Raditz as a character. In my opinion, the two are only mentioned for their similar appearance and nothing beyond that. So it doesn’t work for them.

It just does not work.

After a relatively (and I strongly use the word “relatively” here) solid bit, Raditz mentions another yet-established and barely-related character.

After the title sequence, we’re introduced to a much more interesting character within his first few lines of dialogue, and that carries through to the MySpace joke. While this scene does not hold up to time (and dates the show immensely), I can vouch that this scene was good for its time, and puts us at the (contextually, not objectively) best joke of the episode thus far.

Presently though it’s only purpose is to show that Piccolo has only one friend because he’s lonely. For the very few who are not aware, Tom is the default friend you get just from opening an account.

After yelling (through a cheap microphone I might add) some in-your-face exposition, Raditz lands in front of Piccolo, who he had mistaken for Kakarot. Piccolo responds. “I’ve got green skin, pointy ears, and a turban. Oh yeah, I must look like so many other people.”

This line supersedes the episode.

The next scene is infamously iconic within the TFS fanbase and represents something bigger than its face value. The voice actors, shattering the fourth wall, get into a fight over the name of Raditz’s special attack, which results in Raditz being voiced by someone completely different for the rest of the show.

The most important thing about this scene is that is shows creativity, and represents the first breadcrumb in the trail for what TFS had in mind for the series back then. But if we regard “The Return of Raditz! … Wait…” as a standalone, and mark it objectively based on its self-contained qualities, it becomes apparent how much of a flop this is. It’s a pointless, do-nothing skit that has an arbitrary payoff. It also comes off as a little presumptuous, especially as the first episode of an abridged series, which back then were popping up like crazy. Remember when let’s plays and minecraft videos were booming? It was basically that. The voice actors are placing themselves on a pedestal mid-way through their first ever episode.

Moving on, girls just want to have fun and the blue-haired girl makes her first appearance. She’s meeting friends apparently, and upon introduction, she’s met with “Boobs! I mean Bulma.”

There’s a lot I could say about this. It could be a dig at how she’s the only female character in the main cast (arguably excluding Chi-Chi), or it could be a suggestion that Krillin has a crush on her, or that Krillin is just a pervert and that was the first thing he associates with Bulma. I’ll just say it’s a poor line and move on.

The next notable scene has a man in orange arriving at the island with a small child in his arms. Bulma calls him Goku and Krillin calls him Tail, a tongue-in-cheek riff on his "Boobs!" line and saves TFS a little face, though not enough to make worth the former.

Conversely, there's references to Dragon Ball here regarding their exposition, which is different from making references to yet-established parts of Dragon Ball Z. However, chances are if people watching this haven't seen DBZ, they're not going to have seen the original DB. Assuming the shows didn't exist and this was its own product, no one knows whats happening here. People might regard this as a place where show-savvy viewers get to laugh at inside jokes that need no explanation, but to those who haven't, it's... Well, no need to be repetitive.

Goku admits to having a son, and the characters begin to hint at "So, that means you had sex right?" Goku is completely oblivious: The first indication the viewer has that Goku might not be the sharpest knife in the crayon box. The effect of Roshi "whooshing" next to Goku catches my eye as good sound design, which while sparse in the early episodes becomes commonplace later in the series.

We learn that Goku's son is being groomed to be a scholar, rather than a fighter like his father, and that he has a powerful MacGuffin strapped to his head, making him a huge target for greedy villains.

When Goku feels a powerful energy level, he compares it to the biggest thing he can think of: Krillin's losing streak... in the first episode... with a character that's had less than ten seconds of screen time. We don't really know how big of a losing streak this is, so the remark itself loses a lot of potential power. It's only real merit is exposition; At least we get an idea here that Krillin the series butt monkey.

Raditz swoops in and drops some knowledge, about who Kakarot is, why Goku/Kakarot is on Earth, why HE is on Earth, and their fraternal relationship. It's dense, fast, and to anyone who didn't watch DBZ first, I pity you. None of it will make any sense. It's just something you've gotta "go with". He then uses his tail to smack Krillin into Kame House, thus christening the first notch on Krillin Owned Count. This works better as a running gag than it does in the first episode.

Goku shows more concern for the house than Krillin, and then explains the MacGuffin Dragon Balls in more detail: They can grant any wish you want, including immortality.

Cut to a random pig (Oolong) chiming in that you can also wish for Bulma's panties. Uh... What?

This is not necessarily wrong unlike the "Boobs!" line, considering Oolong does exactly this in DBZ, but this is the first time Oolong makes an appearance in "The Return of Raditz! … Wait…" It's a very abrupt appearance with no explanation. No one addresses him before or after this. His name isn’t even mentioned in the episode. And why is he inside when everyone else is outside?

Cut to Vegeta and Nappa who have apparently heard Goku through Raditz's scouter. Wait, that hasn't been explained yet either! We get the barest glimpse at Nappa's character while Vegeta is, well, there. Raditz explains they're going to kill everyone on the planet and sell it, Goku objects, and Raditz smacks him into the ground. He kidnaps Goku's son and then flies off, for perhaps no other reason than "Fuck you I'm evil" It all happens pretty quick.

Krillin, despite being "bitch slapped through a house", is unable to stop him and thus takes the blame, for no other reason than being the butt monkey.

Piccolo shows up and openly mocks Goku for having his shit shoved in and losing his son, further cementing him the most interesting character in this episode. Goku then convinces Piccolo to join forces with him to confront Raditz, and in exchange, he'll friend Piccolo on Myspace.

"Tom you've been replaced." is a relatively fullfilling wraparound and a good ending for a... well, bad episode.

Conclusion

It's bad. There's no way around it. Let me break down why if it hasn't already been made clear.

The characters: Raditz the Walking Exposition, Krillin the Butt Monkey, Goku the Idiot and Piccolo, that's it. Everyone else is a non-character at this point. Piccolo, though handled in a slightly clumsy fashion, is shown to be the most diverse character here. The snark, the "fuck it" attitude, and the going joke that he's lonely. Goku's character isn't well defined beyond what he is. He's a father, a fighter, a Saiyan, Raditz's brother, but those are all things that have nothing to do with his personality. All we really get aside from "he's dumb" is that he's just a vessel for the plot to move forward. Raditz is literally pure exposition. He has no character traits aside from being a dick. Krillin is given the Milhouse treatment.

The writing: What is going on here?

The production quality: Old grainy footage, fine I can deal with that. It's how the original DBZ looks. Most people would shit on this, and KaiserNeko (the lead editor) does switch over to higher quality source footage for Season 2, but I personally won't knock it. What I will knock is the microphone quality. This is most noticable when Raditz and Piccolo meet. Contextually, I get it. It's the first episode, everyone in the main cast is like 19-20 years old at this point, maybe still live with their parents, maybe just have a default headset mic, everyone knows what that's like. Objectively, it's still terrible.

Score: 35

Passing Thoughts

MasakoX does the voice for Master Roshi very early on, before Lanipator took over the role. I’ve always imagined early Roshi as more like a teddy bear, whereas Roshi 2.0 was definitely “lecherous old man” to a P.

"Holy black on a Popo!" - Hasn't been established yet, but I like it.

[xavierkat]

One of the books I always want to do something “smart” with, but am never quite sure how to integrate it into what I am doing, is Richard Rushton’s amazing “The Reality of Film”. I’ve read it at least three times by now, trying to find a way to make it into a key argument for a long-term project of sorts that has been dominating my life for years now, yet I always struggle with the thought that I never quite understood it, really, and am just using it to try to give some desperately needed backing to my lame unsubstantiated thoughts (that I am not in any sense a film scholar, and am pretty much clueless when it comes to film theory, doesn’t really help). In the book, Rushton asks an incredibly interesting set of questions, roughly reducible to one key idea: that we would benefit significantly if we moved away from the questions about what films are to those what we can do with them / what they can do. And he opens the book with a beautiful (borrowed) example intended to show how films create our reality in ways that are really not that different from anything else that we consider ‘real’, questioning the fact that we normally consider them to be something derivative, a reflection on reality rather than something that is part of it. The reality of film, as if he wants to say, blends so seamlessly with the reality of life, it is hard to understand why films are considered ‘not real’ as opposed to chairs or anything else that we make and consider a part of the tangible reality of the everyday. Films create our memories and fit into our thinking just like anything else.  Why am I rambling about this? I think it is because for me, there is hardly a film or series that blends in with reality as much as Love does. Despite its many attempts to keep the viewer’s critical distance (the meta-elements, the comedic exaggeration, the set decor that is simultaneously authentic and ‘too clean’, and the deliberate exaggeration of certain dimensions of its characters), there are elements to both its ‘grammar’ - like the slowly unfolding events that imitate real (love) time - and its extra-cinematic cues (like the frequent discussions over how much of the character of Gus is based on Rust’s own experience and his relationship to Lesley Arfin, often presented as a reflection of the Mickey-Gus experience; the overlap is emphasised both through script/like both Gus and Rust being from the Midwest, or the homecoming king story/, casting /Gus’s friends in the series are played by Rust’s UCB friends/, visuals/the series frequently utilises Rust’s photographs as snippets from Gus’s life/ and other details, like the fact that Gus wears the glasses Rust actually wears in real life) - that mash the fictional with the ‘real’ or at least blur the boundaries between the two. Most importantly, the writing in the series - again, despite its genre and meta-conventions - often feels very close to the ‘real deal’, clicking so perfectly with the viewers’ experiences of similar things in their own lives, that the series often feels like an extension of what we already know, like it was “real” in the most worldly sense of the word. This makes both disliking and loving the characters simultaneously incredibly easy, and it makes the series a true standout in the sea of “will they-won’t they” TV materials. For me, the first season of Love blended so well with the familiar, it almost became a part of it, which was a huge part of why I loved it so much. While I am not usually known for keeping my distance from what takes place on screen (as this tumblr, with my often over-the-top comments, likely demonstrates), Love was the first experience I can recall where I, having been a long-time fan of Rust’s, at times literally conflated the character and the actor, up to the silly level of developing a slight crush on one, the other or both. That in itself is, of course, slightly crazy and embarrassing to admit (especially for someone who watches a lot of films, and always has to see them for the products that they are). Yet it also testified to the strength of the series, and in retrospect, made me realise a part of why I am not as thrilled with the second season as I was with the first. It is not just that the story seems to be literally a re-take on the first season, the key points repeating themselves almost too clearly (likely in part a result of the announced third season, which meant that there cannot be too many closures just yet). It is also not the fact that, in the light of all the debates about race, gender and representation that have been dominating the public domain for the last year, Love now feels simply forcefully white (even to a white non-American like me), and it cannot seem to find proper place for any of its non-white characters: the one black friend among the guys looks like ‘too little’; the “Korean” director, while meant to be a fun riff on the industry, just feels like a bad joke; the police scene - which reminded me of the discomfort recently caused by seeing another one of my faves, Mike Birbiglia, the quintessential white guy, telling a joke about how police can kill you - feels out of place, like it doesn’t belong to the characters. (The series is also not too great towards women, who all seem to be making some dumb choices.) It is mostly because it skews all its characters into the just slightly overemphasised mode of behaviour that is no longer as genuine as it was, no longer as nuanced. The biggest victim of this, perhaps surprisingly, is Gus himself. What made the character both annoying and irresistible in the first season was how different he was in different social contexts, revealing incredible (and so human) complexity: the hunched, often frowning or insecurely grinning kid from the Witchita set would quickly transform into a still awkward, yet radiant and joyful character among friends (who embraced him with such genuine warmth in scenes that lingered ever so slightly longer than they needed to just to bring the point home: there was genuine warmth and care behind the awkwardness, and it did not go unnoticed by people), then into a full-blown asshole at the slight possibility of social success, only to quickly disappear behind his own fears in every scene with Mickey, turning into a combination of self-hatred and condescending. To Rust’s credit as an actor, he pulled all those off so seamlessly, the viewers always knew this was all one person. Yet in season 2, there is much more of the overplayed, comical Gus: the bored/confused grimacing, the hunched body language that is now omnipresent; the lack of tenderness in the communication with friends, as the camera no longer stays as a presence in the singing rooms (the only conversations are joking), and as the role of the key friend character is taken over by Chris, who we’re never quite sure where to place (the awkward running conversations from season 1 are gone, replaced by more distance, so much that it is never quite clear why Gus invited him to Mickey’s work announcement party); and the lack of any redeeming moments for the character, who now only seems to be valuable for his time with Mickey (he is failing at everything else, in front of everyone else), and even with her, his posture is different, the face less honest about the inner conflict and more confused (underlined by the script’s taking away of his wit, too: the guy who warmly explained ROYGBIV in season 1 now struggles to believe nonsense facts about dr. Phil). The new Gus is somehow less deep, and thus less ‘real’, despite all the meta-moments of blending Rust & Gus into one (one could totally believe Rust was told he looked like Michael Landon with all that hair before). He has a less layered presence in the script, and in how Rust portrays him - perhaps in his own desire to overplay the comedy, but more likely due to the directors’ insistence. Yet there are moments in which the original character still shines through, and those are almost always moments of fear. (The one exception - in the beautiful episode A Day, which humanises Gus in the same way his end monologue in The Date did in season 1 - allows him to be simultaneously charming and playful and slightly obnoxious and beautifully tender, in physical movement more than in words, the feet in the sand and a casual embrace shot from the back revealing much more than grand sentences, and finally freeing the character from the half-interested grimacing.) Despite his often annoying posture and the casual cool he tries to radiate in front of others when it comes to his relationship with Mickey, Gus is - as the script very much recognises, but sadly does little to really take anywhere this time - terrified of being revealed as a fraud by Mickey, an uninteresting dork she really has no business being with. As a result, he apologises in almost all episodes, even when he is not at fault at all: for being too eager, for not being eager enough, for being too attentive or not attentive enough. For failing to be better. For simply being. As a viewer, I often had conflicting feelings about this: from empathy to annoyance (there is a fine line between a sensitive person and an uninteresting doormat who is ‘fake nice’) and back to anger over his inability to recognise that apologies are often warranted, but not for what he is apologising for. But these brief moments of genuine panic were always not only played so touchingly (a credit that again goes to Rust’s ability as an actor), but also served as a gateway to a more complicated Gus from season 1; someone deeply complex and terrified and so much more interesting than season 2 dares to explore, rather focusing on cheaper thrills. The issue is, while these scenes make the series so much more interesting and ‘true’, they also underline how casually emptied out a lot of the rest has become, despite some fantastic moments. The ‘filmic reality’ of Love no longer blends so seamlessly with the ‘real reality’ of offscreen life, which is a shame. In truth tho: if it got me to ramble about it for so much, it cannot be all that bad.      

[satelliteofmstielove]

K17 Time of the Apes

                                                    Monkey wrenching

General notes

          Ah, more Sandy Frank. That name just warms my heart. Oh wait, that’s the rage at having to watch another one of these things. Okay, so maybe it’s not quite that bad, but man, it’s not good. This is the last Sandy Frank episode for KTMA, giving us two seasons of freedom from the hot dog dropped on the beach, until Season 3 when we get to watch almost all of these movies again, but with better riffing.

          Like Cosmic Princess [K10], Fugitive Alien [K12], and Mighty Jack [K14], Time of the Apes is actually assembled from pieces of a TV show. The original show was called Saru no Gundan (“Army of Apes”) and aired in the early ‘70s. Apparently, it’s not too bad, if Planet of the Apes adaptations (one might say “rip-off” instead, but hey) are your thing. I can see how, without bad dubbing and half the story cut out, it could be a fun watch. In this form, however, it’s…well, it’s on MST3K.

          This episode is unique- Joel’s not in it! I don’t know the detailed backstory, but I guess he had to be out of town that week, so they just taped the episode without him. Having just Tom and Crow in the theater makes for a slightly different feel. Let’s go watch some monkeys, shall we?

Prologue

The Mads are having trouble getting the Joel on the phone. Unfortunately for them, the bots are in a trolling mood and aren’t being much help.

It sounds like the Mads send Time of the Apes as retaliation for the bots’ unhelpfulness. Something similar happens in several later episodes, such as Hobgoblins [907]. It seems like Pearl was especially prone to this.

Mr. Potato Head is back on the desk this week. Dr. Forrester takes out his anger on it by ripping off its nose. Or maybe he just felt like dressing it up differently, at that exact moment.

Movie pt. 1

Does anyone else automatically sing “Sandy Frank, Sandy Frank” along to the opening music? I can’t help myself.

Crow sits in Joel’s usual seat.

At 3:06, Tom already says he feels kind of a void without Joel in the theater. He’s also not too happy about sitting right next to Crow, it seems. He tells Crow maybe he should empty his load pan because he doesn’t smell very good. So…did anyone ever figure out what a load pan was actually supposed to be? I’m not sure I want to know, now.

I never noticed before how peppy the music in this section of the movie is.

Crow doubts the monkeyhood of the animal at 5:41. Tom thinks it’s a possum, Crow guesses lemur. Crow was closer- it’s actually a loris.

6:55- Crow continues his already storied career as an incorrigible punster.

Servo mentions Joel’s absence again at 7:16, wondering where he is.

At 8:32, Crow’s already got this movie’s number.

Wow, this advanced scientific compound’s wiring does not seem up to code.

Crow mentions doing experiments in science class at 10:10. I know it’s probably just a joke, but Joel probably would do experiments with the bots for fun. Probably not “destroy the monkey freezing plant” experiments, though.

At 10:48, Tom mocks Crow’s time as a Christmas tree from several episodes ago, which Crow does not particularly appreciate. He compares being frozen to “drinking a Slurpee real fast.”

Tom also calls commercial at 11:23.

When Johnny starts calling for his uncle at 13:10, the bots start up calling out other names. Sort of a proto version of a joke they’d use in multiple later episodes, most memorably in Pod People [303]. They start it up again at 16: 27.

Some of the camera movement and editing choices in this movie are so strange.

Tom begins whistling at 18:47. After a little while, Crow asks him how he gets his “blowport” to pucker to make that sound. Tom says it’s a special program, but…Also, if anyone knows what song(s) he’s whistling, I’d be interested to know.

At 20:48, Crow says Joel should be there, and Servo says he’s getting a little concerned.

Trace has made Josh laugh at least three times so far in the episode. He’s on a roll. Has been for the past few episodes, actually.

Crow mentions Joel’s absence again in a riff at 22:36.

I don’t know why, but Crow’s little “Mm?” at 23:18 is adorable.

The bots decide to go look for Joel as they leave the theater.

Host Segment 1

The bots discuss where Joel might be, and go over where they’ve already looked. It’s sort of cute how they don’t know all the rooms on the ship.

They quickly degenerate into arguing, unsurprisingly. They really are like young siblings.

Crow calls Tom a “spasmodic crofisator” (crophysator?), a term that would be used again at least once in Season 1. It sounds like an insult but I’m not sure what it means. Maybe they don’t know, either.

Gypsy shows up to break up the fight, carrying Joel’s jumpsuit in her mouth. Does Joel only have one jumpsuit? I always sort of assumed he had at least a couple. But I guess in KTMA he only ever wore the one on camera, so maybe he did only have one. He only had one on camera in Season 1, too. Actually, the only season where he clearly had more than one jumpsuit was Season 2, where he had at least 5- teal, bright red, cyan, light green, and his classic maroon one, which he wears in every episode after it first shows up in Godzilla vs. Megalon [212]. Mike wore the same green one throughout Season 5 (unless you count the navy one in Mitchell), got a royal blue one (Zombie Nightmare [604]) and a teal one (The Creeping Terror [606]) in Season 6, and then switched between the three of them for the rest of his time as host. You know, in case you wanted the brief jumpsuit history of MST3K.

Crow doesn’t know what a pod bay is either. Tom is not taking things seriously and activates a “wah-wah-wah” noise. Does that satellite have those built in?

Apparently the only possible conclusion one could reach after finding Joel’s uniform is that he’s floating naked in space. They don’t seem too concerned for his safety, just more interested in seeing him in an embarrassing position. These are the monsters you created, Joel.

Movie pt. 2

The way this is cut makes the story feel really choppy. Was is this bad in the version they used for the Season 3 episode? Probably.

The fire in the movie makes Crow sneeze at 28:52. Somehow. I wonder if Trace is a little sick- his voice cracks, too, at 29:08.

TV23 time and temperature at 35:41. 6:42, and 56°. I wish they’d tell us AM or PM, but I guess the people actually watching when this was on wouldn’t need to be told that. It was probably PM, since they taped during the day and played them in the evenings. I’m not sure if they showed them at other times on the channel as re-runs or not, though. Tom from mst3ktemple.com would probably know.

At 37:24, the bots start talking about how good it is to get your shoes off when you’ve been on your feet for a long time, despite the fact that neither of them wear shoes and only one of them could. (Unless you count that time from Danger Death Ray [620] where Tom wore the shoes on his head and hands. I don’t.)

Crow starts singing about taking the “ape train” at 46:41. It annoys Servo, but apparently Crow has to do it or his head will blow up. Personally, I think he may be exaggerating.

Immediately after, at 47:01, Tom mentions Joel void again. Crow says they’ll just go look at him through the telescope when they get out of the theater again. I guess that means they did locate him outside at the end of the last host segment, even if we didn’t get to see it.

Movie thing- why does the action scene on the train have such slow, ponderous music? I guess it’s not really that much of an action scene anyway.

Host Segment 2

Crow’s wearing Joel’s jumpsuit, which is ridiculously adorable. I wonder how he managed to put it on. It probably would have been entertaining to watch.

Servo and Crow discuss the implication of Joel being stuck outside, with themselves being the only ones who could let him in, all the while ignoring his pounding on the door outside. They like the idea of forcing Joel to do their will in exchange for saving him from the dark vacuum of space.

What does Crow have against breadfruit plants? Do they take up too much of Joel’s time?

Predictably, Tom’s still on about babes.

Crow also suggests sending him adrift with a sextant, charts and a toaster. Servo objects to losing Lucille the toaster, something about four toast slots. I hope hope hope that it’s just because he’s likes making four pieces of toast at a time and not for some other reason…speaking of which, what kind of fun does Crow think Joel would have with the toaster? I guess he’d tinker with it. He wouldn’t have anything else to do, since the sextant and charts sure aren’t going to help him navigate anywhere in space.

The bots decide the pounding they’re hearing is space barnacles that need removal, to justify messing with Joel some more, but get Movie Sign before they get a chance.

Movie pt. 3

At 51:41, I agree with Tom- I’ve never seen anyone that unconcerned about a UFO.

Josh sneezes at 54:12. Crow/Trace says “gesundheit.”

Tom forgets Godo’s name at 57:05. Usually forgetting how to say characters’ names is Joel’s thing. I guess someone had to do it since he’s wasn’t there.

Did Sandy Frank even attempt to make this part coherent? Was it 5 pm on a Friday and he was just like “Eh, this is good enough, those kids won’t know what’s going on anyway”?

Servo calls commercial again at 1:01:43.

At 1:03:23, Crow is unimpressed by Tom’s joke.

1:04:46- Servo mentions Joel again, though I’m not sure whether he means Joel is a naked ape, or someone who is going back to his country. Is he saying that’s why Joel went out into space in the first place? I guess it could be.

Tom and Crow discuss the Academy Awards at 1:06:12.

The cliff in this flashback is, like, the least treacherous cliff ever. You could walk up that.

Host Segment 3

Cambot plays some old footage of Joel (from Invaders from the Deep [K01], with the long hair and turquoise jumpsuit- wait, he did have another jumpsuit in KTMA. Does that invalidate my whole spiel about jumpsuits from earlier? Oh nevermind). It freaks out Tom and Crow for a second because they think they’ll be in trouble. Have we ever seen this part before? I can’t recall if that little bit is in the snippets video of the three missing episodes.

Inevitably, the bots get into another argument, this time about whether the Joel behind the door was real or simulated. Usually the human has to break up the fighting. If something else didn’t interrupt, I wonder how far it would escalate.

Anybody know who that was behind door #2? Whoever it was, he terrified the bots. Maybe just because he was huge? Or perhaps they don’t like baldness.

Things get a little trippy when Tom starts playing with the laws of reality. He seems to have that power. He does something similar in Gunslinger [511], and Crow doesn’t like it any better then than he does here.

Movie pt. 4

At 1:15:17, Crow and Servo talk about whether or not humans have the same number of hairs on their bodies as apes. Crow thinks so, Servo doesn’t believe it.

I think we’re all starting to get impatient along with Crow. This is dragging on forever.

Down to 54° by 7:45, so I’m guessing it is PM, at 1:27:24.

Ah, we’re finally back on track- Wizard of Oz reference #14 at 1:29:23. I knew they’d return someday. The last three episode haven’t had any, at least that I could find, so my original theory about there being a WoZ riff in every Joel episode has been disproven. I still predict that there will be at least one in every Joel ep in the series proper, though.

The impatience continues.

At 1:31:20, Servo says that if Joel were there, they’d have run out of monkey puns much earlier. Is that because they’d have said more of them in a row to annoy him, or because Joel’s presence discourages the creation of monkey puns?

Something about Tom’s timing at 1:32:07 is just great.

Very brief Wizard of Oz reference #15 at 1:33:55.

Movie thing- So they do explain how they got back to their own time, it just makes NO SENSE. I wonder if Tom still feels like exploding.

Servo forgets Godo’s name again at 1:36:16, calling him Gobo.

1:36:58- uh, what other organ were you thinking of, Crow?

Tom falls over onto Crow as they start to leave the theater, but manages to get back up.

Once again, I can’t not sing the Sandy Frank song along with the credits.

Conclusion

We get a rare outside shot of the S.O.L., along with floating-(semi)-naked-in-space Joel, as represented by an action figure of some kind. I…don’t really think Joel would look like that with his shirt off, but hey.

Tom and Crow contemplate life without Joel. They only seem to recall all the mean stuff Joel has done to them since their creation, but they still do say they miss him a little.

They also talk about how they actually like each other, although that “You’re the greatest” remark from Crow could have a bit sarcastic. Hard to tell. I prefer to interpret it in a positive light.

I don’t know if I mentioned it before, but Alexandra Carr is now in the credits as the Fan Club Coordinator and Production Assistant. She’d continue to be on the show’s staff for a long time.

Joel is also still listed as starring in the episode even though he wasn’t there, just like Trace was still credited for Crow in the eps where he was gone.

At least in the copy I linked, the sound on the tape starts flipping out in an amusing way at the very end.

Thoughts on the Movie

          This movie is…really goofy. I won’t go in-depth, since we have to watch it again in a few seasons, but man. Actually, it’s quite refreshing after two confusing 70s TV-movie dramas in a row. It’s not really any less confusing, but it’s much more entertaining to watch. This is also the second movie in a row with a really annoying child, although Johnny is much more amusing in his annoyingness than the kid in City on Fire (Gerald? Was that his name? I don’t care enough to go check). That kid was just not very good, whereas Johnny is not that terrible, he just kind of a spaz. Fits in with the rest of the movie, I guess.

Review

          This was a pretty solid episode. Of course, the definition of a solid episode in KTMA versus Season 1 and beyond is quite different, but this one measures up to what they’ve done so far. Josh and Trace kept the energy nicely throughout. The two of them always played off each other well (favorite riff- Crow: Let’s buy these guys a tripod, whadda ya say?). This episode didn’t provide nearly as many laugh-out-loud moments as the last one, though, which reinforces to me that three really is the magic number. Something about having all of them together brings it up to the right level. The movie itself was pretty lively this week, which probably helped make up for losing a riffer. If it had been say, Cosmic Princess with only Tom and Crow, it might not have worked as well.

[recentanimenews]

Bookshelf Briefs 1/30/17

Alice in Matchaland | By Mosoko Miyatsuki | Manga University – This slim volume is both picture and cook book, offering readers a playful riff on Lewis Carroll’s most famous work as well as recipes for matcha-infused snacks. For tween manga lovers, the button-cute character designs, Technicolor palette, and gentle pokes at manga cliche may be enough to justify purchasing Alice in Matchaland. Anyone intent on making Matcha Energy Bites, however, will need a conversion table handy, as the recipes freely mix teaspoons with grams and milliliters. The book doesn’t offer any tips for procuring matcha powder, either—a curious omission, since many Americans won’t find it on the shelves of their local grocery stores. A little more attention to the recipes would have made this book less of a stocking stuffer and more of a must-buy for tea-drinking manga enthusiasts. (The publisher provided a review copy.) -Kate Dacey

Behind the Scenes!!, Vol. 3 | By Bisco Hatori | VIZ Media – It’s not that Behind the Scenes!! is awful, but that every chapter is essentially filler. In this volume, there’s the one about the bratty child actor whom the team helps emote, the one about protecting a group filming in a park, the one about fundraising through shrinky dinks (yes, really), and the one about creating a haunted house. At times, attempts are made to flesh out the other members of the art squad, but it’s never building on character traits previously established and then paying off in a satisfying way. It’s always Ranmaru noticing on one page that Ruka gives in too easily and then on the next page encouraging her not to give in because shrinky dinks (yes, really). Probably it’s time to accept that this series is just not for me and move on. – Michelle Smith

Behind the Scenes!!, Vol. 3 | By Bisco Hatori | Viz Media – There isn’t a ton of plot or character development in Behind the Scenes!!, but it does reliably deliver a pleasant escape in the adventures of a college art club that supports various film projects. The first story line in this volume deals with the redemption of a child actor who at first seems spoiled, then there is detour into the value of crafts as the gentle rich girl Ruka stands up for herself. The gang also has to fine tune a haunted house, when they make it dangerously realistic. Even if this series isn’t the most memorable thing Hatori has created, it still is diverting in the moment. I enjoy the interactions between all the characters, and this volume also featured several bonus one page manga at end. – Anna N

Horimiya, Vol. 6 | By Hero and Daisuke Hagiwara | Yen Press – I said last time that Hori and Miyamura hadn’t quite taken the next step in their relationship yet. They do that here, but blink sand you’ll miss it—unlike most manga of this type, their first time—while sweet—is not earth-shattering and does not really change either of them. Indeed, Miyamura is far more concerned about the required swimming event, mostly as it could get him expelled. We also see Hori being jealous again, but she’s at least cognizant of how annoying it is, and it’s funnier when she uses her anger against other people, like Miyamura’s old teasing classmates from junior high. This is not particularly going anywhere, even with the sex, but it’s still a well-written leisurely ride. – Sean Gaffney

Interviews with Monster Girls, Vol. 2 | By Petos | Kodansha Comics – This is sort of a harem series—there’s certainly enough students and one teacher in love with Takahashi-sensei. But it feels so laid-back and leisurely, and he’s so non-sexual in general, that I can’t really define it as a classic harem comedy. At heart, it’s about the girls and their monster issues—though the best chapter in the volume has the teacher pointing out that you can’t just think of them as monsters OR girls, but you have to balance both sides. Much of the volume deals with a yuki-onna who worries she may live up to her stereotype, and she’s just as sweet and cute (and somewhat boring) as the other girls. This is a nice series, and monster girl fans will like it. It is, however, not a book that will get your pulse racing. Leisurely. – Sean Gaffney

Liselotte & Witch’s Forest, Vol. 3 | By Natsuki Takaya | Yen Press – At last, a volume of Liselotte I can honestly say was excellent throughout. The bargain that she has to strike to save Engetsu’s life essentially resets things to square one, but that’s really for the best, as I think the baggage was crushing them both a bit. We also get more flashes to what Lise was like before the rebellion, and it’s rather sad and also a bit eerie. There’s also still some comedy, mostly coming from Alto and Anna, though the return of a witch from the previous volume also helps. I suspect things may not stay comedic for long, though, as it appears that Lise is not going to be allowed to be merely exiled for much longer. The less fluffy this gets the more I like it, though the fluff is still fun. – Sean Gaffney

Liselotte & Witch’s Forest, Vol. 3 | By Natsuki Takaya | VIZ Media – Man, I can already tell that it’s going to be pretty painful when Liselotte goes on hiatus after two more volumes. Although some of what happens in this installment feels like things I’ve seen before—the heroine who unhesitatingly hacks off her own long hair, the love interest who loses his memories of the heroine, the determined optimism and welcoming spirit—there are some unique things about this story, chief among them the reveal in the final pages that someone has been watching Liselotte and reporting back to her brother, who is being pressured to do something about her. It’d be an interesting development if her world were to get a bit darker; the Akito vibes I got from the tree spirit in this volume were pretty fantastic. – Michelle Smith

Scum’s Wish, Vol. 2 | By Mengo Yokoyari | Yen Press – I have to say, so far this is currently at the top of my “most surprising new series” list, as the second volume is just as strong as the first was. Even as it appears that Mugi and Hanabi may have deeper feelings for each other than they expected, it is shown over and over again how bad this relationship really is, and how much they’re hurting from it. Of course, not having the relationship would not ease the source of the hurt. Meanwhile, we also meet Ebato, Hanabi’s friend who turns out to be in love with her, something that gets revealed a lot more than she’d like at a sleepover, and ends just as ambiguously as you’d expect. This is a fantastic car crash of a romance manga, where even the omake extra is tragic and sad. Well-written and brutal. – Sean Gaffney

Scum’s Wish, Vol. 2 | By Mengo Yokoyari | Yen Press – After making a brief appearance in volume one, a lot of this volume focuses on Hanabi’s only female friend, Ecchan, who has been in love with her ever since the day they took the entrance exam. When she’s invited to a sleepover, she’s unable to contain her feelings anymore and confesses, but more importantly gets Hanabi to confirm that she doesn’t love Mugi. Ecchan offers to be the surrogate herself, but by volume’s end, Hanabi’s in bed with Mugi, seemingly ready to have sex with him. One thing I particularly liked about this volume is though her relationship with Mugi might seem twisted and strange, in a way she’s more pure than other classmates, because she’s acting out of love and not merely juggling two guys, trying to decide who has more to offer her. Looking forward to volume three! – Michelle Smith

By: Anna N