#It translates to brambles and vines sometimes

[bonefall]

How many cats have do you think have invoked a dark forest spirit for their boons?

Channeled-- but probably a lot. More than you'd think, and it's probably the reason that some cats are surprisingly in the Dark Forest themselves.

I plan to explain the difference when I get around to making a Dark Forest 101, but Invoking and Channeling are two very different processes

Invocation

To Invoke, you contact StarClan first to send you the cat you're seeking. "StarClan send me the strength of Stonefur. StarClan I pray that Thunderstar will serve justice."

This way, your prayer is not private. "StarClan" is aware of what you've requested, and can consider your entire life at your trial. If your request was evil or self-serving, it can be completely denied, if your prayers are benevolent, they can experience the emotion with you and amplify their collective power.

I like to joke with myself that it's usually like, "Operator get me Grandma I forgot what spice she puts in her soup 💀"

Channeling

Is direct. You're leveraging your connection to the individual spirit. A channel to them, if you will.

You will get the spirit you want, if you did it right and your connection is strong enough. For Spottedleaf and her absurdly high aptitude for spirituality, it was a success rate of nearly 100%. Though... I'm positive there is a way for the Wrong Spirit to pick up, or interrupt the call.

So, items are required for this. For Spottedleaf, tar-spot blight from sycamores worked like a charm. Batear likes bat parts. Hawkfrost goes for sparrowhawk feathers. Through simple logistics, some cats are easier to reach than others.

You can channel a StarClan Angel OR a Dark Forest Demon... but, a StarClan Angel might rat you out, so make sure you trust whoever you're trying to contact. You can't Invoke a demon, though, there is no "operator" to call.

[arckiaym]

"AH!" "what?" "This child is offering a pearl!" "Yah, she wants to trade" "what do I do??"

"What you mean 'what do I do'? She's piglin, you trade." "Hm.."

"do we need pearls?" "no" "well what do I do?" "Tell her we don't need pearls.?" "How?" "Ah"

"yeah, I forgot you don't know the language." "HOW."

"shut up and pay attention." "!?" "Take notes"

"hulloo! No thanks on the pearls." "Okie dokie!" "But!"

(wow! I can't understand a thing they're saying! Even though their text is in English still) "..."

(it's like the artist can't be fucked!) (excuse my french) (to translate a whole language!)

"oi bingus! I got us a place to stay!" "Nice!"

Rambles and brambles under the cut, this post is long enough.

Ok so I feel like viking would have the most issue getting used to the whole "o shiny!" bit. So legs would make a Child At The Mall harness so he wouldn't wander off lol. And warped vines have a lil stretch to em (at least in my mind) so that's what it's made of.

And that's what the lil guys accessories are made of too, i think the piglins would be real good at utilizing all the stuff in the nether. Uh don't notice that I forgot her bracelets in all the panels except ONE

Legs is very tired of keeping viking outta trouble tho, he's not used to caring so much lmao. Poor guy experiences empathy?!?? Older brother syndrome got em GOOD

Also I 100% ran out of ideas so that's why viking looks into the camera lol

But hey there's set up for a part 2, which I'll make sometime I'm sure

(cough cough, hi amberstormblade @amberstormblade I'm not stealing ur idea I'm just full of thoughts ;-; if you write anything more I would be ecstatic!!)

[wallaceandpestle]

warrior cats beauty standards

frankly in a organized society as complex as Warriors there would definitely be things considered attractive, standards of beauty, clan aesthetics, etc. this includes physical cat features, general traits, objects, etc. 

thunderclan:

* thunderclan cats generally find that “big cat features,” resembling lions and panthers, are most attractive, and thus, are common and typical of thunderclan cats. this includes features like thick snouts, broad faces and noses, far-apart, smaller eyes, etc. seem to have “friendlier” faces, much more round. 

* wide paws with long claws are seen as signs of strength and prowess (good for climbing trees and navigating the forest)

* thunderclan cats are generally the biggest out of all of the clans, and appear to have the most muscle mass,

* but tbh they just have some of the thickest fur. they’re the only clan to regularly have a “winter coat” and a “summer coat,” the former much thicker and longer. fur is seen as especially attractive in the form of manes around the neck or fluff on the belly (the really plume-like tails are more riverclan reserved, however). 

* coat colors can vary, and from what we see in the books i cant really gather common traits (modern tc is so mixed with other groups anyways) but i like to imagine that colors are generally very saturated, somewhat brownish and earthy. brown and ginger tabbies are especially common, but tortoiseshells aren’t unheard of as well (tortoiseshells are more common than calicos). 

* cats aren’t dirty by any means (i mean these are cats we’re talking about, sharing tongues is a huge tradtiion) but thunderclanners can be seen visually “Carrying” signs of their environment. pelts flecked with moss and leaves, flowers in the ears of queens, mud streaked along the coats of playful apprentices. every single “crown” headcanon people come up with for plants are valid. all of them. 

* obviously every thunderclan cat has a different thing they look for in a mate, but stereotypical (straight) queen signs of attractiveness in toms includes a sense of duty to protect his family/clan, friendly and warm, etc. 

* thunderclan cats love foliage and trees. there aren’t a ton of wildflowers in the territory, with how wooded the land is, so instead they favor things like vines and bushes. bramble bushes have long been signs of strength and defense, while softer plants, like ferns and bracken, usually indicates a sense of family, familiarity, or comfort. 

* moss is like designer silk to these babes. 

shadowclan:

* think thunderclan, but sharper, sleeker, edgier, when it comes to faces. long, narrow snouts, sharp angles in cheek fur and ears and eyes, etc. eyes are often slanted, with very angular corners, while ears are generally very deep-folded (like they curve on the head a lot, with big folds on the sides, idk how to explain it lol). 

* coats can range from medium-short to long, somewhat wiry fur. almost wolflike in appearance, with the underbelly fur even brushing the ground. it’s generally accepted that the older a cat is, the longer his fur grows. 

* brokenstar cut his longer growing fur with thorns and burs and his own claws to maintain a sharp, clean look. long coats are somewhat associated with elders (and by extension wisdom, knowledge, etc), and he didn’t want that. 

* mustaches!!!! long fur on the muzzles, long whiskers, beards!!!!!!!

* for colors, almost all cats that aren’t brown or grey tabbies have white somewhere, in the form of a calico cat, a white chest and belly, white paws, etc. colors are a bit darker and desaturated from thunderclan. most calicos are dilute in some way (as in, they’re grey and cream instead of black and red). 

* long curvy claws here too, along with long teeth and fangs (goof for hunting). 

* the camp is kept as very secluded between thick pine trees, so there’s no weak spots, and little light let in as well. pine needles are the most common plant, so obviously they’re used for almost all purposes where they can be used. 

* mushrooms are very common around the camp, and have become a tiny little motif of shadowclan! most of the other clans dont get them, aside from small ones growing on tree bark (which they hardly notice,) so shadowclan likes to think it’s starclan’s little gift to them. just dont eat them. 

* cats are very methodically clean, although they never enter water. especially in the forest territories, most water is somewhat muddy (i mean they lived on a swampland). it’s perfectly safe to drink, but esteemed shadowclan cats probably wouldn’t want to bathe in it. 

* medicine cats keep herb gardens!!!! they’re signs of tenderness and clan growth and health, and warriors respect them, refusing to walk through them. apprentices get in big trouble if they trample them. 

* cats cant climb the trees, as they’re all confiers, and usually have too many branches close together, with thick pine needles difficult to manuever through, even for cats. but somehow the stereotype of glowing shadowclan eyes in the trees is a thing. shadowclan cats HATE this.

riverclan:

* riverclan cats are viewed as the most luxurious of all the clans, and they love it. plump, well fed bodies, long, sleek, shiny fur dripping down like waterfalls, beautiful, regal faces, are all the beauty standards of riverclan, and often other clans too. 

* i mean cats in general find riverclanners physically attractive, often. in the books we see riverclan involved in a lot of forbidden romances, but these take a much milder form all the time in thunderclanners eyeing the gorgeous riverclan she-cat, or windclanners gawking at the stregnth of that tom. 

* although, “riverclan crushes” dont usually extend past the physically, since most of the other clans agree that riverclanners let their good looks get  to their heads, and are stereotyped as cocky, arrogant, luxurious, demanding, etc. 

* it is true that they are very picky with their food - and they get a lot of it. some creative medicine cats and queens take the job of preparing fresh kill for the leaders to be extra tasty and well presented, whether that means serving it with flavorful herbs, or arranging flowers around it, etc. 

* many leaders joke about wanting *only the fattest, finest fishes.” it is true that riverclan is much more reluctant to share prey in the books, but in the clan itself, leaders obviously make sure everybody is fed. 

* dens, as well, are often decorated with flowers and herbs are stored in the nursery, to help calm queens with their scent. certain flowers symbolize different things, usually related to luck in some way. 

* riverclan cats are the only clan that regularly bathes in the river. it usually replaces “sharing tongues,” but cats get just as clean. 

* coats are long, healthy, and very smooth, sometimes even wavy. obviously cat’s cant do hairstyles, but the same attractive features in long human hair translates to riverclan cat’s tails, often like feather plumes (feathertail is the riverclan equivalent of naming your child after their beautiful luscious locks). 

* cats have big, big eyes, and small noses, with little delicate snouts and mouths (but really sharp teeth). riverclan is the only clan that regularly has flatter snouts, shadowclan occasionally has them but since riverclan has the least need to run around and be active, they can afford a more persian look. 

* ears are absolutely fULL of fur. 

* webbed feet for easier swming!! all cats have webbed feet to some degree but riverclan cats have it a lot.

* the main areas of long fur are congregated on the elbosw, ankles, tail, neck/chest, cheeks, and ears. the actual body has a very sleek and flat coat for ease in swimming. 

* colors are vibrant, usually cool-toned. brown and ruddy tabbies are less common than silver ones, and aside from those and tortoisehsells most cats are solid. exotic patterns, like leopard spots, colorpoint (siamese), ticked, persian, etc, are rare, but definitely possible (and very attractive) in riverclan. 

windclan:

* windclanners are the smallest of all the clans!! they’re just short and low by nature. 

* because they’re so small, windclan cats are very compactly built, as they have to fit a lot of muscle in a little space. they aren’t the strongest or heaviest in a fight, so they can’t pin down their attackers, but they have really long, strong legs. 

* windclan cats have such great legs because they have to run around the moor a lot. they have a really big territory, like it goes really far, but because it’s all just moor and fields the clans aren’t really jealous. they have to traverse all this territory multiple times a day, so they train for speed and endurance a lot, hence the powerful limbs. 

* long legs are tucked under the body when they sit/lay, like a rabbit! you ever seen a rabbit run??! the legs are all tucked under so they look really small, but when they get up they go on for miles. 

* good hunting abilities are very desirable in a mate. when a bunch of cats have a crush on the same one, they might engage in a “race” in front of them to prove their speed. cats woo their mates by sharing prey with them, and letting them have the first bites. 

* in terns of facial details, windclan cats dont have a lot of discernable features. they have generally shorter snots, but not compressed, as this makes it difficult to run and breath heavily. ears are small (and flattened against the face a lot), eyes and noses are big. 

* tabbies, especially brown and grey, are extremely common, and any other look is pretty rare for windclan. many cats felt an inherent unease about tallstar being leader, since he was black and white, very uncommon for windclan. 

* cats have the shortest fur, to keep away dust, sand, and grasses from getting stuk in their pelts. short/cropped tails are common as well. 

* cats love the feeling of being open, of sunshine and total exposure to the elements. sleeping under the stars together is very romantic for windclan mates. 

* dens are usually hollows in the sides of hills, often abandoned fox or badger burrows. whatever bushes are there are scraggly, and cats can’t really live in them, although their leaves are usually taken to be bedding for queens (other cats just forgo bedding entirely). 

* this is kinda gross but i imagine windclan woudlnt really have a dirtplace?? they pretty much live in a sandbox so there’s just certain areas of the territory they use. 

skyclan:

* so i havent read much of the books with skyclan so i cant say much. but from what i understand, as they have a long and sordid history of hardships, traeling, and fighting for their rights, skyclan cats value durabilty, resourcefulness, etc. 

* cats are taught from a young age to push through any pain they have, even if minor. medicine and herbs have become largely lost on the clan (i mean leafpool helps them but before that) so the mentality of “get over it, it doesnt hurt that bad” is taught in kits from a young age. 

* queens have lots of smaller litters, as when cats are hungrier, they tend to have less kits. so to make up for it, any she-cats able to have kits re admired for having as many litters as they can. 

* cats are physically very varied, usually on the thin side. durable, strong bodies are valued as they can survive harsher condition. cats are wirey and thinner, more spry and flexible than any other clan. 

[johnhardinsawyer]

The Low-Down, God-forsaken, Vineyard Blues

John Sawyer

Bedford Presbyterian Church

8 / 18 / 19

Isaiah 5:1-7

Psalm 80:1-2, 8-19

“The Low-down, God-forsaken, Vineyard Blues”

(Singing Love Songs to Each Other)

If you were to ask my wife, I’ve been singing the blues about our lawn for the past couple of years.  When we moved in, the grass was the envy of the neighborhood.  Roland, the previous owner of our home, was obsessed with his lawn.  He used to mow it several times a week until it looked – as he once told a neighbor – “. . . like a paaaak.”[1]  Roland planted this special kind of grass seed that you can only get from a certain place online.  Five pounds of grass seed will cost you $250.  When we moved in, Roland sent me a whole e-mail on lawn care.  “The lawn is bulletproof,” he said.  “All you need to do is water it and fertilize it and it will stay beautiful.”  Well. . . it didn’t.

We had a few dry summers, a few hot summers, and little by little, patches of the lawn would get scorched and turn brown and die and go away.  Last summer, there were just dead zones where moss and weeds started to grow.  I would make a valiant effort – or so I thought – when it came to watering and fertilizing and re-seeding.  We even paid a lawn care company to come and put, what they told us, were the right chemicals on it.  But in the end, there were three or four summers in a row that I was singing the blues – the “Dead-patches Where Grass Used to Be in our Formerly Beautiful Yard Blues.”  Our across-the-street neighbor would come over from time to time to commiserate and it became a little joke between us when I would say, “Well, it looks like this is going to be yet another re-building year for our yard,” as if the yard were a failing sports team.  The lawn used to be so good, but now it kind of makes me sad.

Has this ever happened to you?  You feel you are doing the right thing.  You have created the right conditions for something to turn out well, but for some reason it all falls apart.  You might even feel like you know what you are doing, and then the whole thing just goes sideways on you.

In today’s reading from Isaiah, God is singing the blues about a gardening project gone wrong.  It’s not that God doesn’t have a green thumb.  Some of you might remember the beautiful song of creation from the Book of Genesis, how God first caused plants to grow how “the earth brought forth vegetation:  plants yielding seed of every kind, and trees of every kind bearing fruit with the seed in it.  And God saw that it was good.”  (Genesis 1:12)  God has been growing things from the very beginning, but you don’t need to go all the way back to the beginning to see God’s wondrous handiwork.  All you need to do is look out the window and see the green trees and grass and all of the growing things of the earth to know that there is some amazing and creative power that is so full of life at work in the world. But sometimes, the things that get planted don’t do exactly what we want them to do.

In today’s first reading, Isaiah the prophet sings a song about a vineyard that his beloved, God, has planted:

Let me sing for my beloved   my love-song concerning his vineyard: My beloved had a vineyard   on a very fertile hill. He dug it and cleared it of stones,   and planted it with choice vines; he built a watch-tower in the midst of it,   and hewed out a wine vat in it; he expected it to yield grapes,   but it yielded wild grapes. (Isaiah 5:1-2)

In the original language, these “wild grapes” are called “stinking worthless grapes.”[2]  The vineyard owner was expecting good grapes, but the grapes turned out bad – really stinking bad.  It’s kind of like if I planted grapes.  When it comes to growing grapes, I have no idea what I’m doing.  I can’t even keep whole portions of my lawn alive, much less some grapes.  Maybe I would get lucky, but chances are, I’d produce some stinking bad grapes.  The vineyard in today’s reading, though, was planted by someone who knew what they were doing.  If you have ever seen vineyards out in Napa Valley or in Provence in France that are planted at the exact right spot and watered and cared for just so, they almost always produce something.  And, while some years are better than others, if a vine produces bad grapes year after year, the folks who run the vineyard are going to tear that vine out and plant something that will grow better grapes.

Now, I don’t know exactly where on the Hot 100 Countdown Isaiah’s song about the vineyard would be, but as he is singing his song, he asks his listeners – the people of Jerusalem and Judah – what they think should be done with the vineyard that produces bad grapes.  “What more was there to do for my vineyard that I have not done in it?” the vine grower sings.  (5:4)  

“I’ve done everything I know how to do, so I’ll tell you what I’m going to do now.  I’m going to pull it all down – the hedge and wall – and I’m going to just let it go wild until it is overgrown, and I’m even going to ask the rainclouds to not water it at all.”[3]

The people who heard the song of Isaiah might have thought that it was taking a strange turn, but I can see most of them getting on board with the idea that if the vineyard isn’t producing something good, then maybe it shouldn’t be there.  Well, this is when the song takes an even stranger turn, because God, through the prophet Isaiah, then sings, “Oh, by the way, the vineyard that I’m so upset about. . . is you.  Yes, this whole song is one big old metaphor about you:  the people I love. . . you:  the people with whom I am so disappointed.  I planted you people here in this land and used to be so proud of you, but the fruit you are producing, in the way you are living your lives, stinks.  I expected justice, but you’re killing each other, which sure doesn’t look like justice to me.  I expected right relationships, but now, I am only hearing the moans of the wounded people who aren’t dead yet.”[4]

Now, if you were here last week, or are familiar with the first couple chapters of the prophet Isaiah, you know that Isaiah doesn’t pull any punches.  He calls it like he sees it.  The people aren’t living up to God’s expectations and he wants them to know it. Sometimes, people need to be told that what they’re doing stinks to high heaven, that God expects more from them, and that they need to make some changes.  But, no matter how much we might deserve it, it sure doesn’t feel good to get news like this, does it?

God is singing the blues because God’s people have gone wild.  God is so lonely that God could cry.  But, there are some people who hear this song, and they start singing the blues right back to God, because they’re feeling lonely, too. We can hear them singing in today’s reading from the Book of Psalms.  In Isaiah, God is upset about a vineyard gone bad and is threatening to tear the vineyard down, and in Psalm 80, we hear the people asking God to not uproot the vines.[5]

[“Don’t uproot us, Lord. . .]  Restore us, O God of hosts; let your face shine, that we may be saved.”  (Psalm 80:7)  I like the way Eugene Peterson goes on to translate this song:

Remember how you brought a young vine from Egypt,    cleared out the brambles and briers    and planted your very own vineyard? You prepared the good earth,    you planted her roots deep; the vineyard filled the land. Your vine soared high and shaded the mountains,    even dwarfing the giant cedars. Your vine ranged west to the Sea,east to the River. So why do you no longer protect your vine?    . . .God-of-the-Angel-Armies, turn our way!            Take a good look at what’s happened

and attend to this vine.

Care for what you once tenderly planted—    the vine you raised from a shoot.. .[6]

The people are singing the song of someone who feels lost and left and without any hope or help.  They’re singing the blues, because they know that something is wrong and they know that only God can make it right.  It is strange, though. . .  God has been singing to them.  They have been singing to God.  It’s almost like they’re singing past each other. . .

“Here I am.  Listen to me,” sings God.  And we human beings sing right back, “Where are you, God?”  “Here I am, everybody!” God sings.  “Where are you, God?” we sing back.  “I’m singing to you right now, people – a song of love and hope and peace, a song of lives turned around and the world as you know it, turned upside down in wonderful ways, a song of death turned into life.” “I’m sorry, God.  Were you just singing something?” we sing back.  “We just can’t hear you, God.”

What does it take to be in tune with God, to sing the same song. . . maybe even to sing in harmony? If left to our own devices, our song would grow wilder and wilder and more out of tune.  In truth, this is the song that a whole lot of the world is singing right now – a song in which there is very little grace, very little love, very little hospitality, very little peace.  God is not a fan of this kind of music, though.  This is why God sent Jesus Christ – God’s love song to humanity sung in a human voice.  

You see, God has always been singing a love song to us – beginning at the very beginning.  And sometimes that love song is sung in the key of blues, because God loves us and we let God down again and again.  But, in Jesus Christ, God’s love for us is persistent in a way the earth has never seen – from the cries of a woman giving birth to a baby in Bethlehem to the gentle words of peace and healing and forgiveness spoken to crowds of people beside the Sea of Galilee, from the God-forsaken cries on a cross to the words “Do not be afraid” spoken outside of an empty tomb.  Oh yes, God knows how to sing the blues.  But God also makes a joyful noise.  All of this is one big love song to us – a song of restoration and transformation.  And, if we were to listen and join in the song, then it would turn the fruit that we bear into something that is good.

Look, I know that we won’t always sing the right song.  As one commentator writes:  

The bad news is that we can have love sung endlessly over us, and still be useless and a lethal danger to the world and to ourselves.  The good news is that Someone still sings, plows, plants, guards, and looks for good fruit.  In this is enough hope to set us humming bits of the song at least, and living toward its true ending. . .[7]

In this is enough hope. . . God is still singing.  God is still planting seeds.  God is still sending rain to water the earth and caring for us with God’s providential care.  God is still loving us.  And God is still inviting us to join in the song.

Oh, may God hear us when we sing – whether we’re singing the blues or making a joyful noise.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.

--------------

[1]Spoken with a thick New England accent.

[2]F. Brown, S. Driver, and C. Briggs.  The Brown-Driver-Briggs Hebrew and English Lexicon(Peabody:  Hendrickson Publishers, Inc.) 1997. 93.

[3]Isaiah 5:5-6 – Paraphrased, JHS.

[4]Isaiah 5:7 – Paraphrased, JHS, with help from Eugene Peterson’s The Message (Colorado Springs:  NAV Press, 2002) 921.  Isaiah 5:7.

[5]To be clear, I’m not sure if Psalm 80 was written in direct response to Isaiah, Chapter 5, but sometimes, things just seem to go together and the similarities, here, in these two passages from the lectionary, are striking.

[6]Eugene Peterson, The Message.768. Psalm 80:8-14.

[7]David L. Bartlett and Barbara Brown Taylor, ed. Feasting on the Word – Year C, Vol. 3(Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2010) 345.  Paul Simpson Duke, “Homiletical Perspective.”