#It really does though. Such an incredible show. So sad it didn't last longer.

[honeytoast]

Had. Never before did Isaac think that such a truly minuscule word could cut so deep. Was that what was expected of him? For him to simply walk away from the child he had spent the last fifteen years raising? He had only been a child himself when he decided to stay and raise Violet, even after her mother decided it was too much responsibility and took off. For the last fifteen years, every choice he made in life had taken her into account before all else. His career, his love life, or lack thereof. Violet came before anything and everything so he didn't understand how he was now expected to just turn his back on her like she wasn't the most important person in his life. Listening to Kris, Isaac wanted to scream. He wanted to yell and throw things and tell Kris to go fuck himself before storming off, but he knew that the life he had was over. That regardless of how heartbroken he felt, he couldn't go home. He couldn't walk through that front door and comfort his daughter, because he was dead, and today Violet buried the man she knew as her dad. Death did not care that he was all she had left. It did not care that the realization that he would never speak to or hold his daughter again hurt more than all the losses he had experienced put together. Death didn't give a fuck that sitting in that diner, being told that not only did he not have a choice in this matter, but that the life he had loved so much was over made him feel exactly like he was thirteen again, lying in his bathtub crippled with grief and waiting for his veins to empty. Only this time, he couldn't escape it. He was already dead and all he wanted to do was be alive again. Maybe this was penance. There was a sort of irony to it. His mother died young because of him and now he had a daughter who he left far too soon, but rather than getting to move on, he was stuck here with Kris who may already hate him. Isaac sat and stared at Kris who leaned back in his seat, apparently having said all that he needed to say on this matter. He knew he should apologize for his anger, and while the anger he felt did give way to plain old grief, he still felt it simmering beneath. "I know the healthy and mature thing would be for me to apologize because you're just doing your job, and it's like being mad at a minimum wage employee for doing what they’re told, but I need someone to be mad at right now. Just for a little bit, because it has been a very bad week and the only thing I can do is be mad because I loved my life and even dead, I still have a daughter out there who just lost the last person she had left. I mean, she has my dad, but that's as good as being alone. So I need to be mad for a little longer, and I hope you don't hate me for it." Even as he spoke now, his tone was no longer one filled with rage, but instead, it dripped with sorrow. He felt helpless, and like anger, it wasn't a feeling he was all too familiar with. He leaned back now and rubbed his face, wishing that he had a cup of water so he could have something to sip to keep himself from crying. Instead, he took in a deep breath and let it out nice and slow. "Do they have chocolate chip pancakes?" Though he made them often for his daughter, he hadn't had chocolate chip pancakes since before his mother's death, but it felt oddly fitting to have them again now.

he'd be a damn hypocrite if he said he hadn't felt the same rage isaac was displaying now , it came with the territory of the freshly buried who didn't get their light at the end of their life . kris had lived in that rage for a year after his own nature life .

at the question something resembling pain flashed across his face , " had . " it was such a simple little word that was just above a whisper for a question that really dug at the humanity he still held tight to his chest . crossing his arms on the table kris leaned forward to try and get his next handful of points across to the other . " i want you to listen , because i'm only going to explain it to you once . death is something that happens . there's no discrimination whether you're single , married , young , old , a parent , childfree , and every other great combination of things that come with the living experience . death's a bitch that simply and bluntly . doesn't . care . " he kept his voice a low harsh whisper to match isaac's and tried not to let anything resembling frustration flare up , " don't mistake my harshness as anything other than wanting to get you prepared for what's to come , i'm undead not heartless and its always a goddamn tragedy when a child is involved in the aftermath . BUT whether you like it or not it is another day . you're death WAS NOT an inconvenience just business as usual for me and it will be for you as well , soon enough . attachments aren't something one in our position can afford . you really don't have the luxury of free will when it comes to accepting or rejecting it , you can think of it as community service rather than a job if you'd like . " when he felt he'd said his peace he leaned back again nestling into the red vinyl of the booth seat his gaze still set on the other . " you're also aiming all -- this -- at the wrong person . unfortunately for both you and i hr isn't very communicative . " he said with a wave of his hand his tone changed to something more like they were just friends meeting for a meal , " the french toast is also acceptable -- maybe a little soggy depending on the cook -- if you'd rather get that . the coffee is also -- drinkable . "

[the-axe-and-flail]

So I'm reading the "One Winged Butterfly" light novel rn and the first chapter is all about Gyomei coming to terms with letting the Kocho sisters become slayers and some things I found very interesting in it-

Shinobu was making medicine when she was just a child. That's pretty damn impressive.

Gyomei was genuinely sad when Kanae died and kind of blamed himself (though he pushes it down to where it's no longer tangible or impactful).

Gyomei knew Shinobu was going to die when he saw her the last time before the Big Boom (tm) happened. He wanted to tell her to he safe but couldn't force himself to say it, as he knew it was a hollow plea, and never one to waste his words, he knew it didn't matter. It speaks to his personality that he really doesn't speak unless the words are with purpose and decision.

Gyomei was actually scared of kids after what happened at the monastery. Not like "oh I hate kids", but like "oh here are some kids I wonder how they'll demonize and terrorize me". Like he literally thought every child he'd meet after that would take the opportunity to ruin his life again. He wasn't just deeply hurt by that encounter, he developed an actual ptsd concerning children. Oof ouchie my heart. It really makes me want to write a fic where he grapples with this as a new father...

Gyomei was also resistant to ever being "happy" again in terms of quality bonding time. Like so many FF writers (myself included, no callout) portray him as someone who deeply loves quality time, but it's quite the opposite. He's scared of it and does everything in his power to deny and run from it. And from his gradual acceptance of the sisters, we see it is acts of kindness (their willingness to forage and cook to show him their gratefulness) that drive straight to his heart, as well as the strength of their determination.

The characterization of Gyomei in this is very very important for folks who like writing for him. It's got so much of what a truly cold and un-biddable person he is. He's more like Sanemi's mask. In fact I'd say these two are often portrayed as opposites (gyo acts more like written nemi and nemi, more like written gyo). It's very interesting to watch him open up to the sisters even in such a short little drabble and made me appreciate his character even more.

At his core, Gyomei is a man terrified of being on the receiving end of someone's accusations again (and with good reason) to the point he now lets it shape and control his entire life, with the sole exception of Kagaya. I've said this before, but he's a man who recognizes his trauma and understands that it's not good for him, but still chooses to make it his armor for fear of opening up and being hurt again. It makes him wholly unique in the world of KnY as being incredibly self-aware and yet openly self-destructive. He'd rather drive himself into an early grave than ever allow someone to hurt him again and arrhshslalehjjdk that hurts me.

This drawing is also just too cute

[galaxythedragonshifter]

Herobrine Headcanons because I feel obligated to do so~

It's me, I'm the obligation

Herobrine is NOT evil in my headcanon. The whole evil "leafless trees go brrrr" thing never resonated with me. I definitely can and will read a story with evil Hero in it, but it has to be done well. In my opinion, the Gameknight999 books didn't really write Hero in a way that made sense (or for villains in general, frankly). It seems really difficult for official (and published unofficial) Minecraft products to actually make him into an interesting character (something a lot of fanfictions seem to accomplish easily). I'm assuming it's because fanfiction writers do it for free, out of their love for the media, and those who actually publish said story into a physical Minecraft product are only monopolizing on the success of Minecraft in general. That's also another reason why I'm glad MCSM went the way they did. I'm glad they didn't go the Steve, Herobrine, and Alex route. Personally, I love the story and the world they've created with Jesse and the others. (Sorry this one was so long Imao)

However, there are rumors of him being evil floating around. I mean, a white eyed man that doesn't just survive, but thrives in the Nether could be terrifying, to be fair.

He looks like he's in his early 30's but he's actually 217. He's an old man. (But also not really, if you're comparing it to the equivalent of other human's lifespans).

Not a demigod. Just a superpowered human with plot armor and pure fury.

Because he's been in the Nether on his own for the most part (spare the mobs), he doesn't really know anyone else really. He hasn't had proper human interaction in several decades, so he's not the best at socializing.

In tandem with the last one, it results in him being lonely. He of course didn't know he is though. He's gaslighted himself into thinking he's not. This also results in him having a hard time trusting others. Like, at all. He prefers to do everything on his own, and hates to ask for help, admit if he can't do something, or show weaknesses to others. (Resulting in him also having a problem with bottling up emotions, until they are too much to handle.)

If he does meet someone he can trust though, he will be incredibly loyal, protecting that person no matter what. Even if it makes him come off slightly aggressive. (He's kinda like a grizzly bear in this way. Aggressive when protecting those he trusts.)

He usually hides his anger well. He'll also hide his other emotions from those he doesn't trust. (Which is pretty much everyone).

Sarcastic "I hate everything and everyone" mood

"Well if you weren't this stupid. you wouldn't be in this mess."

"What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

Disappointed dad glare and pose™

His eyes do, in fact, have somewhat distinguishable pupils. But they're almost the same color, and with the glow, they're super hard to see unless you really observe his face. And he'd probably say something along the lines of "Stop that." In a really annoyed tone if you tried.

Going along with the last one, his eyes do show emotion. They can flicker with certain emotions (and depending on how conflicted he is, the fastor or slower they might flicker), and become dimmer for longer bad mood episodes. They grow brighter with more intense emotions like anger, but dim with emotions like sadness, disappointment, ect. He can control it to an extent, but it's like breathing or blinking. It's usually involuntary unless he's consciously thinking about it.

Looks like he could kill you, can definitely kill you, but is also a cinnamon roll.

His hair goes past his ears. And it's just a mop of brown hair. Like, he brushes it, but the man's got messy hair all the time.

Ok boomer (he's much older than that LMAO-)

He's 5'6. So short-ish, but not too short.

He can telepathically communicate with mobs to an extent. He can direct them and get a basic feel for Thier emotions, but not really any "talking". Kinda like charades.

Speaks Swedish and is bilingual (English and Swedish). And no, I'm not taking any criticism on this one, because I read it in a fic and I've been obsessed with the idea for years. I will die on this hill.

If he knows you, and you do something stupid (especially a newbie Nether mistake), he will stand there and judge you. Menacingly.

Classic blue shirt with indigo pants. Also likes to wear a tattered dark blue cape (that has a hood) when he's out and about.

Contrary to popular belief, he actually prefers Netherite over diamond weapons. He's also a pretty good archer, but it's not his preference.

He's got fire powers, teleportation, abnormal strength, flight, and the ability to read mob's body language. He actually rarely uses flight, and only does it when bored, or he does it absentmindedly as a stim. If he does he'll just kinda float around. He also has enhanced healing as well, and wounds typically heal faster. In addition to that, he can die, but it has to be more extensive damage than fatal wounds would typically be. Especially if he has no potions on him. (He can't like, heal instantly or anything). However, his powers do use his energy, so he can only do so much. (He can still pack quite the punch though. And take quite a few hits.)

Extremely good fighter and has good control over his powers. Typically hides him emotions from those he doesn't trust/know. (Even from someone he may trust). A pretty good archer, but not his preference. Surprisingly good at building. Good with potions and crafting.

Brine absolutely cannot understand social cues or cultural social cues. He also for the life of himself can't stand the cold. He does have resistance to extreme temperatures, but he just really dislikes the cold. He still feels uncomfortable in the snow, especially since he lives in the Nether, resulting in the cold resistance not really being as effective.

He does have nicknames, but he only lets people use them if they are on a nickname basis (he has to really trust that person). His nicknames are Brine and Hero.

He's Aroace. The man's got no understanding of romance in general, much less flirting. (If someone flirts with him, he'll just be like: "No.")

Probably a dog person. He gives dog person vibes. No, i will not elaborate.

He lives in the Nether for the most part. He has extensive knowledge of the location, and he has a much higher heat tolerance. Although, he isn't necessarily the "Nether king" as far as rumors go. He just kinda resides there, and the mobs leave him alone for the most part.

He doesn't curse often, but if he does, he typically uses "damn and hell" and thier variations.

His hobbies consist of exploring the Nether, fighting, crafting, and surprisingly, reading.

His favorite color is blue. He doesn't see much of it in the nether.

Trust issues go brrr

Social anxiety also go brrrr

"You have no self preservation, whatsoever."

He's good at fighting his way out of a situation, but his plan B is always sarcasm. Just, sarcastic witty banter. (He's got King Jaron vibes, for those who read the Ascendance Series)

He sometimes likes to annoy people, when he is around people he knows. If it's someone he dislikes though, it's more often and snarky.

Some character flaws for y'all: Blunt, bold, emotionally distant, perfectionist, overprotective, rebellious, stubborn, smart-alek, can hold grudges for a while, trust issues,

*literally gets impaled* "Oh cool a sword-" *collapses* (Alt: "Rude...")

"Have you lost your damn MIND?"

"Don't you Dare throw that snowba- dammit!" (if you haven't noticed, I'm having fun with the dialogue)

He's kinda based on many iterations of Herobrine I've read over the years, with some of my own twists on it. He's basically a mixture of my favorite traits from other versions.

I may sometime make a part 2, idk. I've been developing my version of Herobrine for like, 2-3 years now lmao. So possibly. Imma see how much my brain forgot after I've posted this lmao 😭

Y'all can feel free to send asks or comment about him if ya wanna, they're always open!

Also, I'm sorry this post is so long ajjsjdhdhhdhd. More content for you ig XD-

And some other things, I DO have more Herobrine content. (In the works and not). I already have a Fic on my Ao3 page called Ex Prince. (However, it isn't canon to my current Headcanons of him, as that was a lot earlier in his development stage.)

Tags: @locatebiome (you have Hero all over your blog so yah. Lemme know if ya want the tag removed akjshgdhdg) @yumeyumeappleo

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Well, you know what - I am absolutely exhausted now. That's the thing about double Casualty nights. I went off them quite a while ago because it gives me a lot to talk about afterward, making typing up my thoughts take longer, and because while I like to think I have a good enough attention span it can only last so long. Also I was more triggered by the eps than I thought I'd be (my fault though, I misjudged how I'd feel).

Yet! I am glad. We went two entire eps without Faith turning up at all. My second-least fave, Iain, was there but primarily playing the only role I like him in: Jacob's friend who tries to look out for him. And thus, even he was likeable tonight.

And of course, Jacob is finally, finally getting focus again!! It's been long enough.

But before I get into all of that, thoughts on ep 1:

Rash's storyline was... well, it's very intense. A lot more so than I would have expected. His whole breakdown about everything being broken was incredibly sad to see. Poor, poor Rash.

I didn't think this would lead to him leaving but I'm not sure now, I could easily see this being an exit story. I hope not - though, on the other hand I want him to be happy, enough that if he has to leave for that I'd go along with it.

Neet Mohan was brilliant. He's one of Casualty's best when he gets the chance to be. I'm pleased it seems the show is finally acknowledging that, even if it means Rash getting a sad storyline for now. Also, I tend to like an ep that partially revolves around a character being in therapy. I hope we get one for Jacob eventually.

I'm... intrigued by Patrick. I really don't know what to make of him, though I don't think I'm meant to. He's definitely an unknown quantity of sorts so far. I thought he'd remind me a lot of Henrik and he does, albeit mostly in different ways than Max did. Patrick makes me think of early Henrik. The grumpy, not exactly nice new man in charge who just wants everyone to focus on their work, with just the tiniest hint of a gentler side beyond all the rudeness. The scene where he talked about Rash being like him, however, was not very Henrik of him. I don't think early Henrik would ever have opened up even that much.

I continue to like Tariq as a character so far. I enjoy his dynamic with Rash a lot, still. Their borderline-brotherly dynamic is very interesting. And I have to say, he was cast really well - he feels like such a believable cousin for Rash!

Ngozi continues to be great, as well. I adore her.

I thought the way this ep depicted how busy the department was was incredibly well done. I don't have much more to say there, but I wanted to point it out.

And as for the second ep:

I'd almost forgotten just how good Charles Venn is when he gets to do dramatic acting! Not that I don't enjoy the comedy/lighthearted stuff too, but there's been hardly any of that recently either - it's just felt like nothing but "Iain, I am now going to prop up your storyline because you're not interesting enough to carry it alone, I hope you don't mind". But he got to be brilliant again tonight.

And Jacob gets the focus he deserves. It's about time Blake came up again! I wonder what's going on with Blake, he did sound very upset. And I wonder what Elle is doing. I hope she doesn't get forgotten.

Jacob's line about how him and Blake haven't really talked for a while was very intriguing. I'm glad him being basically never acknowledged for like, forever is seemingly being incorporated into the storyline rather than glossed over.

Nicole is an excellent character so far. I love her.

Rida was fantastic tonight. Incredible acting from Sarah Seggari! Some very upsetting moments, undeniably, but the writing and performance were pitch-perfect. Wow. She's amazing.

Siobhan is wonderful. I've definitely come around to her.

Anyway, that's most of what I can think of to say about tonight but I'm sure I've left a lot out that I can't remember at the moment. Basically, however, the TL;DR version of all this is: I love Jacob.

[wwinterwitch]

IMPOSSIBLE — OBI-WAN KENOBI

IM NOT DOING WELL THE NEW OBI WAN SHOW HAS A RELEASE DATE I– the way I almost died when I saw the show has a date now. Anyway, I just HAD to search through my half-done obi fics and post one to celebrate (tho the story I decided to post is very sad but it was the best one I got). I really hope you enjoy!

gif is not mine, if you know who it belongs to please let me know to credit them!!

summary: you confess your true feelings to obi-wan and things don't go as you expected

pairing: obi-wan kenobi x ex-sith-now-padawan!gn!reader

word count: 1.9K

warnings: age difference (reader is +18), angst, heartbreak, reader gets rejected

a reblog would be very much appreciated!

masterlist

You could hear footsteps approaching, turning around just in time to see Obi-Wan walking into the balcony and heading towards you, standing next to you in complete silence. You eyed him for a few seconds as the man stared ahead, contemplating the beautiful sunset. In this light, he looked absolutely stunning. At that moment you find it incredibly hard to look away, almost hypnotized by him, struggling very hard not to open your mouth and confess to him just how good he looked right now.

Even when you knew this was wrong, you can't help but feel like this. Knowing the two of you made an oath not easy to break. Knowing what you feels is strictly forbidden. However, you've come to find yourself not caring much about your promise to the Jedi Order. The risk of getting caught and expelled suddenly didn't matter. Nothing does, really. You only care about him now.

Obi-Wan eventually turned to face you, making you almost obligated to act like you weren't staring at him ever since he walked towards you, but it was clear that the man has noticed. He didn't seem to care though, which was relieving.

"Master Plo want me to take the trials," you eventually said, just as an excuse to start a conversation and avoid being silent. You needed something to distract yourself from the conflicting thoughts clouding your mind.

"You'll do great, no doubt," he replied, though quickly sensed some doubt in you. "That is if you want to go through with it?"

You were confused by his question at first, until you figured he must've felt something was wrong. He probably thought the conflict inside you had to do with the trials, unaware that he is the only one to blame for the overflow of emotions inside you.

"Of course! It's an honor that my Master thinks I'm ready, it's just...well, I still don't want to fully believe there's an actual opportunity for me. If you haven't noticed, the Council kinda hates me."

Obi-Wan couldn't hold back his laughter. "No one in the Council hates you."

"Oh, sure. Master Windu looks at me as if he's expecting me to explode any second. I don't want to get my hopes up just yet."

"Well, you can always count on Master Plo to speak on your behalf," he commented to try to make you feel better. He's almost certain that Master Windu will try to oppose to the idea of you taking the trials, but he highly doubts anyone else in the council would deny you the chance. "And I'll try to help him if anyone else tries to argue."

You smiled, knowing you shouldn't think of this as nothing more than the words of a friend trying to help. However, you couldn't help but fabricate a deeper meaning to his intentions, which really didn't help to let go of your feelings for him. Was that even possible at this point? "Thank you, Master. Your support really means a lot to me."

Obi-Wan smiled back, putting a hand on your arm as a simple gesture of friendly affection. Or so you told yourself, trying very desperately to believe it. "It's nothing, young one. I'm glad to be able to help."

You looked up at him and his eyes looked more beautiful than ever in this light, the last rays of sunshine bathing over his features and making it that much harder to look away. His hand was gently gripping your arm for longer than you'd expected and his proximity was driving you insane, though he still wasn't as close as you would like him to be. And you knew she couldn't do anything about that– you shouldn't do anything about that.

He stood quiet for a few seconds, apparently as analytic of the situation as you. Knowing he should probably let go, but he didn't. Instead, his hand slowly travelled down your arm until his fingers brushed against yours in a gentle, careful move. Though the gesture was a complete surprise, you wasted no time to let him know you wanted this contact as much as him, reaching slightly to grab his hand. Then, as you took his hand, you felt it. The force around the two of you. It took you just a few seconds to figure out what he was trying to do.

"Stop it," you warned calmly.

"I'm not doing anything," he lied, a soft grin appearing on his face. Of course he would get caught as soon as he tried. If he wanted to, he could've break the barriers of your mind with ease and have complete access to what you were thinking without you realizing about it, but he didn't want to do that. He didn't want to see anything you didn't want to willingly share with him.

"You're trying to get inside my head. I don't like it."

"I apologize," replied Obi-Wan almost immediately. "I'm just...I'm trying to understand."

"Understand what?"

It took him a little to find an answer. "Anything."

He didn't need to elaborate, because you knew what he meant almost instantly, feeling your face warm up just slightly at the realization of what he was hinting at. "Haven't I been obvious enough?" you dared to ask, feeling your heart beating faster than ever before.

Obi-Wan looked slightly taken aback by your answer. He was choosing his next words and moves very carefully, not really knowing what to do now.

Both of you have been trying to avoid this, tiptoeing very carefully around the topic neither dared to directly address, secretly hoping for the other to feel the same. You never found the right time to talk about it and even if one of you did, you would've probably had a hard time trying to come up with the right words to ask.

And yes, you both avoided talking about your feelings because you didn't know hoe you talk about them, but also because is entirely forbidden. It's dangerous to allow yourselves to care so deeply about one another and risk forming an attachment.

But it is just so hard not to think about it. And although there is no way this could ever work between you, it seems like neither cared at that point, far too comfortable with their new found proximity. Right now, words weren't nearly as good enough. Perhaps you could allow him to read your thoughts and confirm everything by himself, but that didn't sound right either. You wanted to show him exactly how much you need him.

Still holding one of his hands, you moved your available hand up to his chest at the same time as you started to lean closer to him. Obi-Wan quickly guessed your intentions and, for some reason, didn't try to stop you.

He wanted you. Badly. It was a sensation and a longing he knows he shouldn't be feeling. Your presence was intoxicating, and you had managed to bring so much darkness out of him. Obi-Wan knew this was wrong, that he should stop thinking about you in that way. As the Jedi Master he has become, he should know better than to allow himself to feel this way. To let his selfishness and needs get the best of him. To be so vulnerable. He should push you away and tell you that this will never happen because it will create problems. He should do many things, but it was very difficult to resist you.

However, with the very last sense of self control he had left, Obi-Wan eventually took a step back.

"I– we can't..." he mutters, much to your disappointment.

He watched you stand there in complete silence for a few seconds. He's right, but...

"Are you afraid, Master?"

"Fear leads to the Dark Side, young one," he quickly replied, hesitating before continuing. "So is this."

"I– I don't understand," you sigh, frustrated. "How is this wrong?"

"Don't ask when you already know the answer."

"I only know what we've been told," you quickly argued, growing impatient. "I'm asking because I want to know your answer."

He looked hopeless at this point. It was very hard to follow the rules when his entire body was screaming for him not to. "We made a promise."

You noticed how troubled he was and that gave you hope. Obi-Wan was conflicted, because he wants this just as badly as you "I know. And I also know that you're just repeating what others have told you is right. That's not how you really feel."

"Don't make this more complicated than it should be. We made an oath to the Order and we cannot break it. And I...this– this is forbidden. If the Council ever finds out we..." he quickly cuts himself off, having too much thoughts inside his head to come up with the right word for what was on his mind. "We..."

"You still haven't answered my question, Obi-Wan."

Perhaps he really had no other excuse to push this confrontation away, or maybe it was the fact that you just called him by his name for the very first time that finally got him to talk.

"I can't deny there's...something," he started, looking more nervous and lost than you have ever seen him since you met him. "I've tried to ignore it, but it just won't get out of my head. You won't get out of my head. And I don't know what to do anymore. When you're around, it's almost as if I can't focus on anything or anyone else but you. But it is forbidden to form attachments, we both know that. Selfish desires lead to the Dark Side."

"But that's what they want us to believe!" you quickly argued. "Caring for someone else shouldn't be a bad thing, Master. Yes, it can sometimes be seen as a weakness, but it can also be someone's biggest strength. If you just let me show you–"

"We can't," Obi-Wan cuts you off, sounding harsher than before, though the pain of having to push you away was evident in his eyes. "I'd like to, but it's impossible. We cannot go down this path and it's best for the both of us to stop this now before it escalates."

In that moment, he wished for things to be different. He wished for the two of you to have lived completely different lives and meet then, in a reality when he could actually give this a chance.

You were hurt, obviously, but your pain slowly transitioned into pure rage. You were so angry at him for being so...so weak. How could he claim to be such a great Jedi when he's so terrified of his own feelings? To try to excuse his fears by claiming it's impossible when there's clearly a choice? He allowed you to make a complete fool of yourself just so he could brutally reject you immediately after. Building an empty expectation just so he could see you crumble to the ground and laugh at the scene. You haven't feel this much anger since...

"I'm sorry," he says after getting no answer from you.

You didn't even bother anymore, choosing not to say anything back. Why trying to argue when he has clearly make up his mind? And how were you so foolish to believe he would ever chose you over your stupid Jedi Code? You could never be good enough for him to even try.

Instead of embarrassing yourself any further, you just walked away, not standing his presence any longer. Obi-Wan didn't try stop you.

This went far worse than you would've ever expected.

[jslittlebirdie]

Here Without You

Pairing: Soft!Ledger!Joker x Reader

Summary: Your last days have been really bad and exhausting. There are always new problems you have to take care of, you feel tired and burnt out, and on top of that, J hasn't shown up for several days. That was until today.

Word count: 1,344

Genre: probably a bit angsty / fluffy comfort / self-insert

Warnings: Reader has a bad day, low self esteem

Notes: A very big thank you to my dearest best friend @fan-of-pretty-much-2-much for encouraging me to post this fic. What would I do without you, your support and love? I own you so much🥺😭 Also, thank you so incredibly much for this simply beautiful title💜

Well, this fic is a total self-insert😅 I basically wrote it for myself as a comfort. So it's probably too cheesy and my characterization of J is way too soft and ooc. But maybe someone will like it anyway, I don't know. So read at your own risk lol🙈 Also, the text is unedited and English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes.

Taglist: @ajokeformur-ray @sacredempressnatlyia @rommies

It had been days now since you last saw your clown. News reports were your only clues as to his whereabouts and well-being. You didn't blame him, he was a busy man - a free man who came and went as he pleased - and you wouldn't keep him from his business. Even though, if you were honest, you would love to not let him leave your apartment ever again, and instead keep him with you where you knew he was safe; not that he couldn't take care of himself.

But you missed him terribly. And on top of that, your doubts and insecurities were getting worse with each passing day. You probably weren't good enough for him, too boring and annoying with all your worries. Would he ever come back to you? Was he tired of you? Had you perhaps upset him without knowing it?

And today... Today was a particularly bad day. Already early in the morning the day had started with bad news, new things you had to take care of. Problems kept coming up, there just seemed to be no end in sight. Once you had taken care of one thing, two new things popped up. You felt overwhelmed, burned out and tired. You longed for a break. You longed for him.

A familiar noise. But you only heard it very distantly. You were far too lost in your sad and gloomy thoughts. You sat on your bed and stared at the wall. Your eyes hurt because you tried to hold back your tears as hard as you could, even though you knew it was wrong. But you wanted to stay strong, not show any weakness.

The noise came closer, heavy footsteps. The door to your room cracked open and a face painted with makeup peered in, looking for you. When J spotted you, he grinned mischievously. But his good mood soon changed when he saw you in this miserable state. He immediately noticed that something was wrong, even if he didn't quite know what it was yet. So he entered your room without waiting for you to give him your permission. And even when J stood right in front of you and looked at you with his beautiful dark eyes, which actually showed a hint of concern, you hardly reacted, which admittedly only worried him more. Because you normally ran up to him at the first sign of his presence. But today was... different. And he didn't like it at all.

"What's the matter, toots, hm? I'm back, I'm here."

You stared at him, but you couldn't see him. You hadn't quite realized yet that he was truly standing in front of you. It seemed more like your mind was playing a trick on you - an evil trick to torture you even more. "I'm so sorry, J," you finally uttered. It wasn't so much directed at him as you were talking to yourself.

"You're sorry for what?" He frowned thoughtfully. He couldn't remember anything you had done that you needed to apologize for. But it wasn't a surprise that you apologized in the first place. You apologized for the smallest things, sometimes even for apologizing. But this time, he was a little bit confused.

"I don't know. That I annoyed you with... with me being the way I am. I don't know, okay?!" That was the moment you snapped back to reality. You saw him. Standing in front of you, in his usual slightly bent posture, his head tilted to one side as he tried to figure things out. And that's when you couldn't hold back your tears any longer.

Intuitively, J leaned down towards you and reached out to cup your face with his gloved hands. But you flinched away from him, too ashamed and insecure. "No, J. Don't!"

But he didn't let that stop him. Even though you had said the exact opposite, he could tell by the look in your eyes how much you wanted him. And it caused a strange feeling to rise in his chest - he wasn't sure what to think of it, so he just shrugged it off and focused all of his attention back on you. He sat down next to you, wrapped his arms around your body that was trembling with tension, and gently pulled you to him. This time you let it happen; the second he touched you, you were like putty in his hands. Moments later you found yourself on his lap and you couldn't help but cling to him as tightly as you could, your tear-streaked face buried in his broad chest, inhaling his scent between heavy sobs - a mixture of burnt rubber, gasoline and sweat (he had been out there for days, of course, he hadn't had time to worry about such trivialities) and something so specifically J that your heart ached. Oh, how much you had missed him. All you wanted and needed was him. Your J. It was kind of ironic. While others ran away from him in sheer panic, you longed for him. You had never been like others, you saw so much more in him than just a criminal. To you, he was your charming, sometimes pretty grumpy, but still in his own special way caring and loving clown - but you better not say this out loud. You just loved him. This realization hit you so hard that a new wave of emotions washed over you.

"Shush. I'm here, I gotcha." He shifted beneath you, loosening his grip around you, causing you to sigh in frustration. Rustling of expensive material and then suddenly you felt all warm - he had wrapped you in his royal purple coat and then put his arms around you again like a vice. You were in the warmest, safest embrace you could ever think of. Immediately, your body relaxed, your trembling finally subsided. You listened to his steady heartbeat and mimicked his breathing. J hummed and smiled to himself as he noticed your reaction.

When you finally felt calm enough, you lifted your face off of him so you could look at him; your eyes were bloodshot and dark rings stood out beneath them. He hated to see you like this, but he said nothing; he waited until you were ready to talk. And you were ready. You took a deep breath and finally murmured, "Today was just a shitty day. There's so much to do and it seems to never get any less. Everything is too much. And I... I missed you so much... I thought you weren't coming back."

"But here I am, right?" He squeezed you a little tighter to put emphasis on his words. "I know you've got a lot going on right now. But ya got this, toots. You're tougher than you think you are. Aaand..." A huge and devious grin formed on his lips. You could literally see him thinking about all the things he had done in the past few days. "I need to lay a little low for the next few days."

"Yeah, I picked up something like this on the news. What is it this time?" You're no longer able to suppress a weak giggle. And a yawn. You were so very tired and exhausted, you hadn't slept well since J left, when he wasn't by your side. But now that you were cocooned in his protective warmth... Your eyes grew heavier and heavier. "So does this mean you're staying home, J?"

"I'm not going anywhere, sweets." He moved you both on the bed until you were in a lying position, you still on top of him wrapped in his coat. Even though he would never admit it, he had missed you too. And holding you in his arms like that - feeling you, knowing you were safe and relaxed - made him aware of his own exhaustion. He pressed a sloppy kiss to your forehead, leaving a beautiful reminder for you when you woke up in the morning, and then closed his eyes himself.

[mooniefics]

— personal punishment

pairing : nanami kento / fem reader

word count : 1.8k

tags : pnp, degradation, authority kink, office sex, semi-public sex, boss / secretary, nanami literally being the sexiest man to ever live and breathe

warnings : nsfw, power imbalance

summary : He couldn't expect you to be perfect—but he could definitely expect you to pay for each imperfection in more ways than one.

notes : thank u so much to @suna-reversed for hosting the incredibly creative jujutsuhub collab and allowing me to participate !! much love (୨୧•͈ᴗ•͈)◞*♡

you couldn't exactly say you weren't proud of your performance today.

for one, you'd come into the office late, knowing that your penalties would be formally waived by your boss but well aware that you would have to face his own personal punishment. it was just your luck that this very day was the most busy the office had been all month, leaving you running papers back and forth from your boss' office for hours, nearly tripping over your own heels three times too many before you even reached your lunch break, praying that you weren't screwing anything else up in your frantic rush.

but before you could even think about escaping the confines of the office building to make up for your missed breakfast at a cafe nearby, your boss was already calling back into his office. you already knew exactly why he was requesting your presence, fear and anticipation immediately tangling into a heavy knot in the pit of your stomach. but still you went, obediently as you always did, keeping your head low as you passed your coworkers in the hall.

your fate had been sealed the moment you made a mistake, the same outcome that had been repeating for months now each time you made an error, whether it was as small as not taking the trash out from the waste bin when it was too full for his liking to something as grievous as spilling his morning coffee all over one of his pristine white button-ups. for any and all errors, you were certain to face this punishment.

the position you were in wasn't unfamiliar, bent over nanami's desk, pencil skirt hiked all the way up to your waist with your underwear around your knees, completely at the mercy of the man caging you in with his body from behind.

"if you keep making all that noise, you're going to end up getting us both fired." he growled, voice low in your ear, one hand still pressed firmly over the center of your back, forcing your chest down onto his desk. the other was occupied between your legs, two thick fingers plunging mercilessly into your needy cunt as you struggled to hold in every whimper and moan each snap of his wrist drew from the back of your throat.

"'m s-sorry, s-sir..!" you barely managed to breathe out, nails beginning to scrape at the edge of the wooden tabletop, teeth digging almost painfully into your bottom lip.

"'sorry' doesn't even begin to fix everything you've fucked up today," his stern tone persisted, ribs aching between the pressure of the heel of his palm and the hard desk, "you know just how much stress i've been under and yet you went out of your way to make it worse."

"no, n-not that..! p-promise!" you whimpered, breath coming in pants, struggling to not rock back into his hand with the knowledge that he'd stop entirely if he noticed you doing it.

you had no choice but to keep your eyes trained on the door in front of you, thighs trembling with anticipation, muted gasps and mewls managing to find their way out into the open air despite your efforts. you knew he didn't mind the noise as long as you were making a conscious effort to keep quiet, only loud enough for him to have the pleasure of hearing, only expressing the pitiful broken attempts at showing remorse that seemed to arouse him to no end.

he curled his fingers to rub at spot inside you that made your knees weak, barely chuckling when you writhed under him. "enjoying your punishment like this... you're just a pathetic slut. That's all you'll ever be, isn't that right?"

Your head hung low as you came over his fingers, shuddering, biting firmly at the inside of your cheeks to hold back the whine threatening to escape your heaving chest. you knew you should be ashamed to be so excited in the face of his cruelty, but when it was his voice and hands—discipling you harshly but still paying such good attention to you and your body—you couldn't help yourself.

before you had enough time to begin catching your breath, you could already hear the clinking of his belt buckle as he pulled it free from the belt loops of his pants, the warmth of naked skin as the length of his cock met the back of your thighs, already hard. the hand resting at your back slid up to rest at the base of your neck, fingers working their way into your hair to firmly grasp, holding you still while he eased himself between your thighs.

"please, s-sir.." The words spilled out of you before you could even think to maintain your obedient silence, earning a tug at your hair harsh enough to jerk your head back, arching your body further.

"snd who are you to be making any demands?" He muttered scornfully, the head of his cock now rubbing directly over your dripping pussy, making no effort to do anything more than painstakingly tease.

"i'm not, i j-just—" You sucked in a quick breath as you felt a sharp sting over your ass, certain there was a reddening welt where his hand had just struck it, "i pr-promise i'll be better..."

"and how can I be certain that you actually will? you say the same thing every damn time, and you still have yet to show me any improvement."

your eyes watered as you searched for a proper response, stammering over your words for just a moment too long—long enough to reignite the anger you'd found a momentary mercy from. you just barely pressed your hand over your mouth in time to muffle your own cry as he slammed himself inside of you, the desk shifting across the ground with a harsh squeak, insides struggling to accommodate his size all at once. he found a quick, ruthless rhythm of thrusting almost immediately, paying your quick gasps and pitiful whimpers no mind, almost painfully deep.

"is this is really the only thing you're good for?" he huffed, groaning lowly despite his apparent ire, "just taking cock and nothing else?"

"n-no!" you protested, barely able to hold your voice steady enough to respond, swallowing down each hiccuped breath interrupting your words, "this is the l-last time, i swear..! p-please sir, please—"

he shushed you harshly before you could continue, large hand rubbing over the aching flesh he'd previously slapped in a silent threat to repeat the action. you wouldn't be entirely opposed to feeling his large hand strike you again and again, leaving prints of red across your skin that wouldn't fade until hours after you'd left the office for the night, but you knew that you still had the entire second half of your day ahead of you to pretend as if he hadn't completely ruined you just meters away from the rest of his hardworking employees.

"at this point, i might as well just be paying to fuck you." he muttered callously, the speed of his hips slowing the slightest bit, each thrust still hitting deep enough for you to feel in your stomach, "then what does that make you, hm? a prostitute? my personal little plaything.."

you strained to vigorously shake your head side to side, fingers aching from how tightly they were clenching around the edge of the desk, your own arousal trailing down between your trembling thighs, hot tears dribbling down your flushed cheeks. you should've felt more inclined to deny his assertion, to prove yourself to be more than just a toy for him to used whenever he desired, when he needed to take out the pent up frustration he saved for your errors and your errors only—but you knew in the back of your mind that you were perfectly content with your position, as immorally lucrative as it was. you would embarrass yourself everyday for the rest of your career if it meant you could experience this at least once more.

"sorry, s-sorry..! oh fuck, sir, 'm so sorry!" the apologies you knew he loved so much spilled from your lips in a pathetic, broken moan, eyes nearly rolling into the back of your head as you held out for a few more mind-numbing moments before cumming around his thick cock.

you barely registered his hand grasping your hair painfully tight as he grunted a few low curses beside your ear, shakily exhaling a sigh when he emptied himself inside you, finally letting you rest back against the hard surface of his desk while you both caught your breath. it was all over far too soon, the intense intimacy that never lasted longer than the half-hour of your lunch break, even though you were sure he could steal you away for far longer without anyone daring to question him.

you wiped at your damp under-eyes with quivering hands, trying to not further disturb your already ruined mascara, swallowing down a whimper when pulled himself out of you and tugged your underwear back into place, readjusting your skirt for you before moving away from your body entirely.

he had already tidied up his own clothes by the time you pushed yourself to stand, that familiar expression of cool indifference having already resettled onto his handsome features. he barely ever let you see his face when he was disciplining you, always making sure you were facing away from him, or that you couldn't lift your head enough to get a good look at his face. it made it all feel so impersonal, inspired something that felt like sadness in the back of your mind, despite how you tried to remind yourself that what you had wasn't true intimacy, and that he could really replace you any day if he felt so inclined to do so.

"go clean up in the bathroom." he said without looking at you, straightening his tie back into place and checking the time on his watch, "you will need to take a call from a new client soon, and it is imperative that you give them the perfect first impression of our company. i expect you to be back here within the next ten minutes." his brow furrowed, the look of someone who'd just thought of something unpleasant flashing across his features when he finally met your gaze. "no more exceptions today."

"yes, sir." you replied obediently, voice hoarse, quickly turning away before the weight of a sudden sadness could show, advancing towards his door as briskly as your state allowed you to. you didn't look back on your way out, even though you so desperately wanted to, maybe deliver a genuine apology now that you knew he was genuinely irritated with you.

but you didn't, and the day continued as it always did, phone calls and document filing keeping you occupied for the rest of your shift, not receiving another word from your boss regarding anything. you tried not to take it personally when he didn't bid you farewell before leaving the building, reminding yourself that it was most likely just the pressure of a busy quarter, cursing yourself for screwing things up and enjoying your momentary bliss before the true consequence of genuine disappointment from nanami anchored you back to the somber reality of your situation.

it was foolish of you to think you'd be anything more than a secretary in his eyes.

[dragon-kazansky]

Dangerous | Helmut Zemo

AU! Race car driver Zemo 😎

Gender neutral reader

Collage by @realremyd

[Masterlist]

[Previous chapter] - [Next chapter]

Part 7

You did not, in fact, spend the night in the lovely room Zemo had made up for you. No, you had spent it with him. You woke up with his arm around you. He greeted you with a smile as you turned over to look at him. Then he kisses your forehead before pulling you into his chest.

Last night was amazing. Eventually you stopped making out outside his locker room and he got changed. You went out on your date, as he promised he would do. He took you to a reply nice bar. You both stayed there for hours, drinking and chatting.

You had to get a cab back to his house, neither of you fit to drive. It was good fun though.

You smiled softly. He was so warm.

"Good morning," he whispers, kissing the top of your head. His voice is all deep and thick from sleep. It makes his accent all the more pronounced... and sexy.

"Good morning."

He chuckles, the sound vibrating through his chest. Right now, in this very moment, he felt like the luckiest man alive.

"My handsome pro racer," you mutter, fingers caressing his jaw softly. He leans into your touch ever so slightly, the softest smile tugging at his lips.

"Your handsome pro racer?" He asks, still whispering.

"I think we're at that stage, no?"

He chuckles again, pulling you in to kiss you properly. You fit against him perfectly. Everything in this moment perfect, serene, and as it should be.

"Do I get breakfast?" You asks, cheeky grin on your face.

"Yes. I'll cook for you."

You kiss him once more before he slides out of bed and puts some clothes on. You laugh as he dresses. You had quite the night last night.

You stay in bed a little longer before you get up. You feel so at home here. Eventually you just miss him and get up. You grab some clothes, go into the bathroom, and get ready.

Zemo cooks up a delicious breakfast for you both. He serves it with some tea. He smiles as you enter the room, looking just as amazing as always.

"Breakfast is served."

You sit down with a smile and tuck in. It just feels so domestic and homey having breakfast with Helmut. As you sat there eating what he had made for you, a thought comes to mind.

Is this the start of something incredible?

You had hope that was the case. You didn't think you could go back to your lifestyle after being a part of his. This was where you wanted to be, you were sure of it.

"I'm going to hand in my notice soon," you say, glancing up at him.

The smile on his face was one of the most wonderful sights you has ever seen.

"I'll have things organised for you when you're ready to take over as my manager."

You grin.

"I have a lot to learn, but I won't let you down. We're a team now."

"Yes, we are."

After breakfast, you help clean up, you jump in the shower, and then you grab your phone. You give your boss a ring and alert him of what you wanted to do. When he asked why you were leaving, you told him about the offer you had received, trying to sound as casual about it as possible.

He freaked out when he heard you were going into the racing industry. After all, he was a fan of Zemo.

Everything felt like it was working out and coming together.

You hung up and turned to Zemo who had been waiting for you. You smiled as you wrapped your arms around him. He hugged you back, grinning.

"Well?" Though he didn't really have to ask.

"It's a done deal. He wants me to do one more shift, so he can give me a proper farewell, but then I'm all yours!"

He kisses you.

He had never felt this happy before. He held you to him, burying his nose into the crook of your neck. It was here as he hugged you that he felt like he could do anything. He just needed to win these next two races.

Your phone rang.

You sighed as you pulled away from Zemo, giving him a sad smile as you went to pick it up. Zemo leaves so you can have some privacy, already missing you.

"Hello?"

"Y/N?"

It was 'your friend.'

"What can I do for you?" You ask, keeping your guard up. After her little tantrum, you didn't exactly trust her any more.

"We need to talk."

"Do we?" You keep your voice curt and clipped.

"Yes. There is something you need to know. I could tell you over the phone, but I think it's best we talk in person. You may not believe me if we don't, and I have evidence."

"What are you going on about?"

"Your boyfriend isn't being honest with you."

"My boyfriend? What about yours?" You ask, sharply. "What was all that shit you pulled at the race?"

"What? Jealous because he loves me?"

"No. What have I got to be jealous of?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you. Meet me at The Alpine bar tonight. Come alone."

She hangs up.

You stare at your phone, glaring at it.

No longer hearing your voice, Zemo returns. He sees you looking at your phone.

"Something the matter?"

You look up at him quickly.

"Uh, a certain someone wants to meet with me."

Zemo comes up behind you and wraps his arms around you. You lean back into his chest and sigh.

"What does she want?"

"I don't know. She wants to meet me at The Alpine bar."

"That's in town. I'll drop you off if you would like."

"Alright. She wants to meet tonight."

He turns you around so he can look at you. Softly, he caresses your cheek with the back of his long fingers. You lean into his touch the same way he did to you this morning.

"Something is troubling you."

"She troubles me."

He kisses your forehead lightly. A great sense of pride and achievement washes over him. He can do this whenever he wants. You have given him the permission he needed. His lips longer there.

"Whatever it is, we can deal with it."

You nod subtly.

He steps back and look at you, smiling handsomely at you.

"I have an idea."

"Hm?"

"I want to show you something. Grab some shoes and your jacket, we are going out," he says, leaving your side in favour of finding his coat.

You do as he said and wait for him by the door.

Zemo returns to your side wearing a long dark coat, fur embedded at the collar. So extra, yet so him.

He grabs your hand as you leave the house.

Zemo keeps a hold of your hand as he leads you away from the house. You walk together toward a huge garage sitting up ahead from his house. You hadn't noticed it yesterday as you were blown away by the house itself.

You had a pretty good idea on what was in there. You smile at him as you approach the building.

Zemo has you stop stop at the large double doors. You grin excitedly at him as he unlocks the doors. He winks at you before pulling the door open.

The lights turn on as he flicks a switch off to the side and before you is a beautiful sight. Dozens and dozens of cars. All kinds of makes and models. Lots of different colours. Many of them were in perfect condition. There were a few really old ones that had early seen better days, but still looked amazing. They were all lined up in rows.

"Wow."

Zemo watches as you approach the first set of cars in front of you. You look at them in awe. Glancing behind you, he nods at you. You walk along the line.

"They're all yours?"

"Every single one. Passed down through generations of my family," he says, looking at them with nostalgia.

"Helmut, this is so cool!" You touch one carefully. This feels like such a special and important moment. This is a peek at another part of his life. Looking around, you spot a few familiar cars, ones he has picked you up in before.

"That reminds me, you'll need to get your car from the bar."

"Ah yes, we took a cab home, didn't we? I'll sort that out tonight while you meet with... you know."

You nod and walk along some more.

You took secret glanced at the man following you around his collection. You trusted him. You did! Yet, there was something settling in the back of your mind. A nagging feeling that whatever it was she was going to tell you, was bad.

She spoke about him as if he had some dark secret to hide. You worried that this wasn't some little misdeed just because she was upset with you.

You couldn't ask him, could you?

Maybe it was best to see what she had to say before bringing anything up.

Zemo came to stand beside you, arm snaking around you. You were standing in front of the first car he had picked you up in, the convertible.

"It was in this car fate decided to bring us together," he says, trying to make it sound as cheesy as he could.

"How sappy." You roll you eyes.

He kisses your cheek.

"It's true, no?"

You turn your head to smile and kiss him properly.

"Yeah, it's true."

Negative thoughts melt into nothing when he has you like this. He's safe and warm. He's home. Your home. He could be.

"Shall we drive?"

You nod.

"Pick a car. Your choice," he whispers.

You smile as you turn around and look at the collection. One if the back catches your eye. It's purple. His colour.

"That one."

He says nothing as he walks over to the back, opens a cabinet on the back wall, plucks a key from within, and then beckons you over.

"Let's go."

You're grinning as you climb in the car. You'll worry about the meet up later. For now, you wanted to feel free again with Zemo.

@ajeff855 @moonstuffsteve @sky-writes-stuff @lieutenantn @lostghostgirl94 @friday18eo @yaskna @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @gingerwriter97 @lunamooney2406 @wilder-fangirl @nectav @whovianayesha @thesuitkovian @cathrin2405 @deathtothepatriarchy @belle82devart @dxrksxul06 @killeromanoff @alex-the-nb @latenightartist-author @hb8301 @goddessofmischief03 @xxidontwikeitxx @themeanestlittlewitch @scuttle-buttle @fillechatoyante @lucky-luck-lucky @zemosimp420

[racheloveyunho]

Till death do us part - 3

Y/N grew up in a wealthy family, she always was seen as a beautiful and smart kid and was most likely to take her father’s place as the CEO of one of the most important companies in South Korea. However, after the death of her mother, Y/N’s family slowly started to break apart. Her father was always working to forget his uncalled pain while his kids were left alone at home.

She was 17 years old when her life took a sudden turn when she met him in a dark alley. He was a bloody mess, bruises everywhere but behind blood and dirt, she could see his beautiful features and his addictive gaze. Maybe she should have walked away, maybe she shouldn’t have helped him, but the moment his gaze locked with hers, she was already his.

Choi San was his name.

Genre: Mafia AU, smut, angst, fluff, stranger to lovers

Words: 2479

TW series:  Y/N is described as an OC. Please be aware that this story will contain  a lot of triggering content such as smut, blood, death, murder, drug,  kidnapping, etc. Do not read if you are under a legal age!

TW chapter: reader got slapped, reader run away from home, abusive and manipulative father, swearing.

The beating of my heart quickened. For the past two years I had dreamed about him every night and now, I was finally able to see him again.

"San!" I shouted happily, finally looking back at the handsome boy. He smiled back at me but his expression became cold again as he stared at Jinyoung. My so-called husband let my wrist go and hardly swallowed his spit.

"Y-you! What are you doing here?"

----------------------

Chapter 3

"What? Do you know each other?" I looked up at San for an answer

"His father is a customer of mine. I worked for him a couple of times, right Mr Hwang?"

Jinyoung stepped back with fear written all over his face. He was afraid of San. I somehow understand his feeling, I knew too well how San could be intimidating.

"I wouldn't ever touch Y/N again if I were you." San said with the most cold voice I ever heard in my life "I get upset pretty easily and I can't think straight when anger come over me. I guess you can understand."

"Why are you protecting her, I don't understand!" My fiancé shouted with fear in his voice.

"Because she's mine."

I blushed madly at San's words. Hana squirmed like a fangirl and clapped her hands while making embarrassing noises. I wished she wasn't there at this moment, I was over embarrassed and she wasn't helping me AT ALL.

I hide my face behind my hands. I wasn't paying attention to the two men's conversation anymore until I felt San's grip lightly tightening around me.

I looked up, Jinyoung was gone without my noticing.

"Are you okay?" San whispered to my ear.

‘Does he have to look at me like that? He’s driving me crazy!’

"He left?" I asked.

San nodded before letting me go. Strangely enough, I felt a wave of sadness and disappointment from the loose of contact even though I couldn't say it out loud, San would probably think I'm crazy since I met him just twice.

Quickly, Hana went to my side, grabbing my arm and shaking it with all her strength.

"Are you THE San?" She asked San with her eyes sparkling.

The moment I saw San's smirk I wished I could have run away from here. I looked at Hana with wide eyes and whispered "Could you stop being obvious for God's sake!"

It was no help, Hana was too happy to finally meet the man I talked about every day and she wasn't paying attention to what I was saying "You are indeed handsome!" she exclaimed "Do you have a girlfriend?"

'Oh God.'

"I don't..." he paused "yet" San looked at me with his sharp eyes.

I turned back and hide my red face the best I could. I was not the kind of girl to turn shy easily but San had this effect on me, he made me feel weak in my knees and made my heart raced.

Meanwhile, Hana was the happiest in the world at this moment, she knew that I never was on a relationship before so she was surely excited to play cupid for the both of us.

After a quick chat, which boiled down to Hana asking questions about everything and nothing, San told us that he was going back to his work and had to leave. 

He walked away, but I followed him and with all the courage I could muster up, I grabbed his wrist to stop him. He looked back at me with a surprise expression.

"Can...Can you give me your phone number? It will be easier to see each other this way..." I looked straight at him, facing his usual strong gaze.

However, I wasn't as brave as I wanted to pretend and San wasn't dumb, my shaking hand grabbing his strong wrist was a clue enough for him to know how I really felt.

He smiled at me with a sincere and warm smile for the first time, his dimples in full display, before he gave me his hand. I looked at it, confused, and put my hand on his own.

"Not your hand, give me your phone. Don't you want my number anymore?" he laughed at my action and again, my face turned red.

"Yeah, sure!" I stuttered, giving him my phone. He quickly entered his number on it before giving it back to me.

"Let's talk more often then, Kim Y/N"

Hearing him saying my whole name was something special, a mysterious feeling grew inside of me but it wasn't an unpleasant one.

I waved my hand at him as he walked away, disappearing from my sight.

"I think I need holy water" Hana breathed out.

It was already 9 pm, the sun was giving way to the dark night where the moon reigned as a queen.

It had been a long day, a very long one.

I met Jinyoung, my unwanted fiancé, San helped me against him and Hana hadn't let me get home until I admitted that I had a crush on San.

It was weird to say it, I wasn't familiar with this new feeling. Was it love? Was it possible to feel love towards him already or was it just a physical attraction?

I threw my head on my pillow and yelled on it while shaking powerfully my legs on the bed.

Yes, San was handsome, but he wasn't just that. He had something that attracted me and I couldn't explain what. It was like he was the answer of all my doubts and all of my issues. He was strong and intimidating but at the same time soft and reassuring. The last time I’ve felt this safe in someone’s arms was in my mom’s.

Bip Bip.

I looked at the small screen, a small notification indicating me that I had a new message.

I jumped out of my bed and stood up, excited by just some few words.

San

"Did you get home safely?"

Me

Yes I did! I hope you got home without any issue too :)

No answer.

San didn't seem like the talkative type. I had to choose a topic to continue the conversation or else he wasn’t going to answer.

Me

So...How old are you exactly? Do you still live with your family?

To my surprise, San answered me right away and we both talked for a few hours, totally forgetting about sleep. He talked to me more than I initially thought he would and I was glad for it.

I found out that he lived with his father, mother and older sister in Seoul in a rather affluent neighborhood. He was the same age as me and told me he had always been home schooled so he had a lot of free time.

He was following his father's path and helped him with his work.

I didn't asked him about it but I could easily guess that his dad worked with politicians since he San and Jinyoung knew each other from his dad’s work.

After a three hours long talk, I finally fell asleep while writing a message to San.

San

Sleep tight Y/N.

I slowly opened my eyes when the warm morning light hit my face. It had been a long time since I last sleep that well. I stretched my body and directly texted San.

Me

Hello San! Sorry I fell asleep, I slept well, maybe thanks to all the things that happened yesterday lol!

I waited some minutes but he gave me no response. Was he still asleep?

I went downstairs and only found my father, eating alone. The table seemed bigger than usual without Jin there and I couldn’t help but think about my brother, I hadn't see him since the argument between him and my father and it was worrying me.

"Where is Jin?"

"I don't know where he is living now." My mouth opened at his statement. My unstable eyes were reading his face, trying to figure out and hoping that I heard things wrong.

"What do you mean? He lives here!" I shouted, my voice sounded less confident than usual.

My worry was growing at an incredible speed pace. I felt unwell for some reason and was afraid to understand the real meaning behind my father's word.

"Not anymore. He's an adult now, I no longer have any obligation to keep him home."

I couldn't believe what I was listening to. He kicked his own son out? How dared he?

I was about to shout out at him but his phone rang at the same moment. He took the call and started talking with an unknown correspondent.

His face quickly dropped and then glared at me with angry eyes. I gulped, unaware of the situation.

When he hung up, he angrily stood up and harshly slapped me on the face "What have you done!" he yelled.

My eyes were watering. He hurt me. It was the first time he laid a finger on me.

"Mr Hwang called me! His son, Jinyoung, met you yesterday and want now to end your engagement."

"It's for the best, I never wanted this anyways" I replied curtly.

He was about to slap me again but put down his arm and chuckled darkly "Fine, if you want to be a brat then I will treat you as one"

My father strongly grabbed my arm and dragged me to my bedroom, he was so angry and so harsh, he was, without any doubt, going to leave bruises on my body.

He threw me on the bed and took my phone with him.

"You won't be needing your phone anymore, I'm confiscating it. In the meantime, I want you to think about your behavior." he said "If you don't want to listen to me, then I will show you who is in charge here." he walked away "Ah, and just to say, this week you will took a plane and will go abroad to study." He informed me before locking the door and leaving me alone in my room.

"You can't do this! You can't force me to leave!!" I banged on the door fiercely. It was a nightmare, it couldn't be happening. I sat down, my back against the door and my head on my knees, silently crying. 

It was already late at night, I didn't do anything the whole day. The only thing I could do was crying.

I finally wiped my tears away and stood up, determined to leave this house. I took a small bag and filled it with some clothes, wallet and other essential stuffs. I waited until no more noise could be heard in the house and quietly leave the house through the windows.

It wasn't as hard as I thought it will be, I found myself a new talent that night.

I went to the bus station, it was too late so there was no bus anymore.

Shit

I walked to the nearest hotel and went to the reception.

"Excuse me, I broke my phone and I really need to call someone to pick me up to go home. Is it possible to use your phone?" I asked with puppy eyes.

The male receptionist fell right away for my charms and gave me his phone, glad to help a young girl in distress. I thanked him and called my brother.

I silently thanked my good memory and was glad I remembered all the numbers on my phone. "The person you have called is unavailable right now..." the voice announced.

“No way...” my shoulders fell from disappointment. I had no other choice but to let him a message on his phone.

"Hey Jin, it's me... Listen, I had some...problems with dad, he took my phone away so I don't have a lot of way to reach you. I heard that he kicked you out, I hope you did find a place to sleep, hope you're eating well, hope that..." I sniffed, not able to contain myself anymore. "I'm scared Jin, dad wants me to study abroad cause my fiancé brook our engagement. I picked some stuff and now I'm out of the house but I don't know where to go and..." my voice broke because of all the emotions I had inside of me. "I'll call Hana and see if I can sleep at her place or else��I'll sleep in a hotel. I love you, I'll call you again tomorrow." I stopped the voicemail message.

This time I tried Hana's number, fortunately she was a phone addict so she would answer to my call. "Yes my love~?" I heard her sleepy voice "Hey Hana" I said, my voice still trembling "What happened? Are you okay?" Her voice suddenly turned serious.

I quickly summarized my situation to her. "Listen, sweetie. Tonight I can't come to you, you have still money right? Sleep in a hotel and tomorrow you will took the first bus and come to my house, okay?" I agreed and hung up before asking a room to the receptionist.

The hotel room was half smaller than mine but it was better than nothing. There was a phone on the side of the bed.

'Should I call San?' I wondered while looking at the phone. Without a second thought, I entered the number of San and waited.

"Hello?"

"San! You answered!" I shouted through the phone, happy to hear his voice "I...I'm sorry I..."

"Where are you?" he asked "What?" I answered, surprised.

"You are not fine, are you? You're voice isn't as clear as usual."

I waited a long moment, I couldn't control my tears as they were running down my cheeks.

"Where are you?" He insisted.

"Dongdaemun hotel, room 322"

"I'm coming. Don't move." his voice softened.

My wait didn't last 20 minutes until I heard a knock on the door. I jumped and opened the door as soon as I heard the sound.

Here it was, the silhouette I liked the most

"San..."

He hugged me tightly as if there was no tomorrow. I noticed how he was sweaty and out of breathe, probably from running to get to me faster.

I breathed in his unique scent, it was woody scent, something fresh but still manly. I felt safer with him, everything was easier when he was by my side. I didn't want to let him go and my feelings seemed mutual as he tightened his grip on my waist.

I was like a piece of metal attracted to a magnet.

We sat down on the bed and he let me cry my heart out, listening every word I had to say. I told him my story, my conflictual relationship with my father, how harsh he was with me and my brother since my mom passed away and my arranged wedding with this Hwang Jinyoung.

We talked for two good hours about my problems but also about the future we both wanted.

As time went on, I started to feel sleepy, my eyelids were heavy and my mind was cloudy. I slowly closed my eyes until I fell into a deep sleep into San's arms. He gently patted my head to help me fall asleep.

"Don't worry Y/N, I will protect you from now on."

San hummed a song before falling asleep by Y/N’s side.

-----------

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I hope you enjoy this story so far! In the next chapter, Y/N is going to make a choice for her future life so the story will truly start in the chapter 4.

Of course, I’m not encouraging anyone to run away from home, mostly if you are minor.

Thanks for reading! See you in the next chapter~

Tag list:

@hijirikaww @pinkchampagne2 @xduygu-arsx @joongiebug

[anekogia]

A few dark/sad headcanons I thought of about Twisted Wonderland characters

1. Riddle's parents are divorced

This is probably something a lot of fans thought, but the reasons I thought of were pretty sad.

As many of us know, Riddle's mother has been the one controlling everything in his life. However, where is his father.

Well, my headcanon is compared to his mother, Riddle's father is a lot tamer, and allowed his son to have a bit of freedom in his life. However, Riddle's mother disapproves of such lifestyle. As such, that let to a lot of arguments in the Rosehearts household.

Then, at a young age, Riddle's parents divorced, with his mother getting custody of him due to her being able to give Riddle a 'better' life. His father was allowed to see him, but was refused many times over the course of Riddle's life by his mother because she did not want her ex-husband to influence him into a 'frivolous' lifestyle. It went to the point where Riddle's father was cut of from their lives.

As a result, Riddle never had any paternal love growing up and also resented his father because he thought he never cared for him. However, deep down, he really misses him and hope that they would be able to have fun again.

2. Leona is repeating on purpose

As many of us know, if we exclude Malleus and Lilia, Leona is technically the oldest student in NRC. It has been stated by Ruggie during the Happy Bean Day even that Leona has repeated several times. However, it had also shown that the second prince is actually very intelligent (As seen in many SSR stories and said by his brother), and that his repeating may have been due to the fact he often skips classes.

However, what if he is doing all of this on purpose.

As shown after his overblot, Leona was treated unfairly and looked down upon in his homeland because he is the second-born. Though one may argue that the servants are speaking ill of him because he treats them harshly, that could be due to the fact the servants have been looking down on him even as a innocent child who did not understand anything. That could have lead to Leona growing up to having a cold attitude towards those who verbally abused him, and towards his older brother, Farena.

It was around that time Leona also started showing signs of depression, but he hides it cleverly.

It was not until he joined NRC where he started getting the recognition that he so craved his whole life. People praised and looked up to him, after years of getting looked down for his rank.

Not wanting to lose that, Leona purposefully skipped classes, knowing it will cause him to repeat grades. In turn, it will allow him to stay in NRC longer, allowing him to continue gaining the love and attention he so craved.

3. Ortho is Idia's older brother

As chapter 6 has not been released, I'm just putting this as a headcanon for now.

There has been speculation (and confirmation?) that Ortho his actually Idia's deceased biological brother who he brought back to life. However, what if instead of his younger brother, Ortho is his older brother.

Growing up, the Shroud siblings were very close to one another, despite the older being sickly most of the time. Being the shy one of the two, Idia was only comfortable with Ortho by his side.

However, one day, Ortho grew incredibly ill. Despite their parents best attempts to help him, he soon succumbed to his illness, and passed away while young Idia was looking into his room.

Instead of burying their deceased son, Idia's parents preserved Ortho's body, so they could continue seeing their son.

With Ortho gone, attentions has shifted towards Idia. As the healthy child, he was given immense pressure by his parents and the nobility to become a great and proper noble.

However, as he grew, Idia became even more closed of, turning to gaming and manga as a source of entertainment. It was also then he realized his parents are still grieving their loss.

As he was missing Ortho too, Idia studied hard and turned to technology to find a way to revive his brother. He also decided to build a new body for him, knowing his old one would be too weak to support him.

Then, years later, on his brother's birthday, Idia stole his body and hooked him up to a contraption his build specifically to revive him, much to his parents' dismay.

Though it worked, Idia's parents refused to accept the new Ortho, knowing that their son was nothing more than a machine now.

4. Silver is the heir of a Kingdom Malleus destroyed

There has been a lot of speculation that Silver is the descendant of Aurora (Sleeping Beauty). However, there has been more speculation on why Malleus and Lilia took in orphaned baby Sliver. So, I have a theory.

Sliver is indeed the descendant of Aurora, though it is kept a secret from him. As Malleus is hundreds of years old and is said to have a grandmother who's magic surpasses his, it is safe to assume that his is in fact the grandson of the Witches of Thorns, Maleficent, herself.

So, years before, there was a war between the Valley of Thorns and Silver's kingdom. As humans had nothing against the faires, they were destroyed by Malleus army. However, an incident caused Malleus to lose control of his dragon form, causing him to rampage through the Kingdom, despite him never having the attention to harm it in any way.

It was around that time Silver was also born. After he was born, the royals were forced to evacuate the castle and seek shelter. However, before they could, Malleus came flying into the castle, destroying it.

As he was about to burn the Kingdom into a crisp, Malleus heard baby Sliver crying from the distance, causing him to snap out of his trance.

Unable to process what he has done, he and Lilia first seeked out the source of the crying. Upon coming across the palace rubbles, Malleus quick spotted a young woman holding a bundle tightly in her arms.

Upon walking towards her, the pair recognized the woman as the kingdom's princess and realized she was holding a baby.

Malleus, overcome with grief, tried to safe the child's mother, but after failing, she told him to stop. The princess assured him she does not blamed him and that her kingdom was bound to fall anything due to their pride and selfishness.

Her last wish was for Malleus and Lilia always to take her newborn son and raise him to be a good person. She knew the heir of the Valley of Thorns was the grandson of the witch who cursed her ancestor years ago, leading to a hostile rivalry between the Kingdom and the dark fae. However, she knew that her son would be in the right hands.

Malleus accepts her request, on the condition that he and Lilia would raise her son to one day kill him.

The princess simply smiled at him before saying "You are a good person".

With the war ended, Malleus and Lilia brought the baby back to the Valley of Thorns. They named him Silver on the account of his hair color, and also naming him after the weapon that almost killed his grandmother.

Damn, this was longer that I thought. This was just stuff I thought of after rewatching the Twisted Wonderland playthrough on YouTube. I didn't think it would delve into difficult topics like the ones mentioned about.

Anyway, this is probably the only headcanon list I would make (most because I'm out of ideas), but if there is any specific dark/sad headcanons of specific characters you would like to see, do type suggestions, and I would review them.

Anyway, that's it for now, sorry if I made you cry.

[kris-p-banana-bread]

Here DOAFP fandom, have some organic, locally-sourced, home-grown pain. This is basically just me, a scarred older sibling, projecting on Bobby, another scarred older sibling. I really reached into my post-loss psyche for this, so I hope you enjoy the headcanons and meta (AKA I hope you shed at least one tear).

It won’t let me link it here so the post that inspired this is under the read more at the bottom ✨

- When I first watched doafp, I couldn't understand Elena's aversion to Sam becoming a prominent figure in her mom's and her life. Now I understand it almost too perfectly. There was never supposed to be someone after Robert. He and Gabi were deeply in love and happy. Robert was it; he was the first and true love of Gabi's life. Sam showing up probably felt like a huge and utterly disrespectful slap in the face of Robert's memory, because he wasn't even supposed to be there. I don't know if that's as eloquent as I wish it was, or if it makes sense, and it probably sounds really mean to Sam, but it's not even really about him. It was always supposed to be Robert; Sam hasn’t earned the right to be apart of or associated with her family

- After Robert dies, Gabi and Bobby make it a habit to find and keep photos and recordings/videos of Robert, even if the latter only has him saying one sentence. They won't make Elena join them for the search, but after they find some of those old audios of Robert, they'll sometimes play them back for little Elena

- Bobby put up the keep out sign (I credit this to a few other blogs for discussing this tho) because that's where he would cry sometimes. He actually used to be pretty close with Elena, but after he put up that sign and started distancing himself from them a bit so they wouldn't see the times he cracked, he got a little more short and jaded with her. It's that, plus just growing into a teenager and stuff. And I'm not saying that he and Elena have a bad relationship, but he's become more snappy and has more walls up than he used to

- Sometimes Elena feels bad because she doesn't always remember her dad's voice. She was pretty young when he died, so even though she recalls it a bit, and the recordings help, it's been a while since she's talked to him in person, so of course she doesn't quite remember what it's like to actually talk to Robert and she's forgotten some of his mannerisms. She likes to think she's all done (she marked the stages down in her grief journal after all) but grief isn't linear or all that rational, so it hits her hard sometimes

- I keep reading as an action close to my heart because that's a strong bond me and my mom shared. She would rec books to me, and we would joke and talk about them, or she would hint to some future event and then refuse to tell me until I caught up to that part. So Elena and Bobby do something similar in their grief. Elena has writing and words, because that's something Robert loved if I remember correctly (but if I’m not and that’s not canon, then I now declare it so) and Bobby has tennis. But besides tennis (I sent a couple anons to @freshlybakedfandoms about it but I'm not sure where she went) Bobby also was taught to play guitar by Robert (I liken it to Devi Vishwakumar and her harp) so when he misses his dad or is just sad, he'll take out his dad's old acoustic and strum

- (This next one is something I also think a lot about so this is pretty much 98% projection) Bobby thinks sometimes about the fact that he was never able to come out to his dad. He hadn't really started growing into that part of himself yet, and he never got to show it to his father. He wonders what he would have thought of him. Would he be angry? Would he dismiss him and say it was just a phase? Bobby didn't think so, but a little part of him insisted that you could never be too sure. After he comes out, Gabi and Cami assure him that Robert would've been so proud of him and would've loved him regardless (Since we know virtually nothing about him, I maintain that Robert was one of those dads who teases their kid relentlessly about their crushes and I think he would've done that with Bobby and eventually Elena)

- When Elena's quince rolls around (if she chooses to have one of course), Sam dances with her during the father-daughter dance. A part of her still hurts, still aches and wishes that Robert were dancing with her too; still knows on some fundamental level that he and Gabi had planned for this day, but he had simply never made it. But she's known Sam long enough that she feels comfortable here. Nobody can replace Robert, but Sam is her family, and it feels right like this.

- I might do some more research and deliberate, but for the moment I'm saying that Robert had cancer, I’m thinking along the lines of colon. My mom was terminal, but idk if I should make Robert terminal? Maybe towards the end. Or maybe he was diagnosed as incurable early on but Gabi kept it from the kids because, tbh, being told your parent is balancing on that kind of edge is traumatic for them. So anyways, I’m going on that assumption for this last point, and I’ll see if I can recover some of my old knowledge and talk about technical stuff later if anybody would like to hear it

- Elena and Bobby were both pretty young. Bobby understood about PET scans and tests somewhat, and knew generally what different answers from doctors meant. Elena mainly just understood what was happening by reading her parents' and brother's expressions when getting lab results in from the doctor. They both remember on some level what it was like when Gabi would leave the kids with Cami and take Robert out to the car (later she would have to help him) and they would all feel like they were holding their breath until they got back and confirmed that everything was ok (and later, the little shocks of fear when the answers were no longer as positive and there was more apprehension and risks. After all, cancer doesn’t deal in absolutes)

- Bobby can still remember Robert when he had to stop walking around a lot. He still remembers the phone call that Cami got from his mom, saying that something had gone wrong, and if this last treatment didn’t work, he wouldn’t have much time before he passed. Still remembers Cami rushing into a room when she got that call, and trying to hide what was happening until Gabi could get home and explain it; but Bobby was a sharp kid believe it or not. He heard about the treatment, heard Cami crying. He still had hope... but when Robert came home in a gurney, when he could barely stay awake sometimes, when his voice was quiet and his skin was a little jaundiced, Bobby felt incredibly empty. But Robert always had a smile for his wife and his beautiful kids, even if it was small and very tired, his eyes still crinkled the same. He always had a smile; right up until they had to say goodnight and get some sleep one night. And then... he passed.

- After he passed, the Cañero-Reeds needed help, and a lot of Gabi’s coworkers would bring food or materials if they were running low. Cami and Danielle would babysit and would distract the kids when Gabi needed a good cry.

- Like you’d imagine, and because of what is sort of implied in canon and in my own head, the kids dealt with it in different ways. Bobby put up that sign, and withdrew. He wasn’t awful, but his patience with certain people got a bit shorter and he was a bit quieter. And he was a really good helper when he had the energy and he cared deeply, but he would sometimes get physically and emotionally exhausted after helping Gabi/Elena/Cami/anybody else with something and would go into his room or mentally tap out to recharge. He took comfort in things that seemed natural and that he sometimes took for granted before, like video games and skateboarding (hehe bobby skateboards. Anybody second me on this?) and clothes etc... and other stuff. A lot of materialistic things or experiences that he would skip out on before. But they bring normalcy back to his life now so he loves them for that.

- Bobby doesn’t wanna think about big themes or anything anymore, which I can’t remember but I think it was Vi (freshlybakedfandoms, again, idk where she is and I hope she’s ok) who said he was a math and science person and I think that as much as that could transfer over to those subjects as well, it’s much harder to avoid existential and emotional themes in English and History class and Bobby doesn’t like it as much as Elena does for that reason. He had to live with the back and forth of his dad’s treatments and tests, so math and science is comforting because it’s more concrete (There could be a million arguments for why he would distrust math and science because of his dad’s passing though, I realize) Ultimately, though, it reminds him of Robert too much.

- On the other hand, after a period of shock and confusion, Elena threw herself into new things. First it was a grief journal, to make sure she was going through the motions. Then she read a lot, and when she felt too alone or like she wasn’t doing enough, like she was stagnant, she’d just find something to focus and persevere on again. That feels like her personality type to me; something is wrong so let’s fix it right away. But that could also transfer sort of negatively into “Something feels off or I’m very sad, let’s get this thing done and be productive so we can put off having to confront that but at least we get work out of it” but I could be entirely wrong (this is based off some of my family members and how they dealt with the loss.) And Elena throws herself into history and english because her dad loved it, and she wants to remember more of him. Because she believes words have power and history is a lesson and that’s incredibly interesting for her

[dreamerandcrazy]

Ok, so I haven't been able to comment much on my Riverdale rewatch mostly bc i'm watching it with my boyfriend and we have an agreement of no cell phones when we're watching, otherwise we can't pay proper attention to it. But I wrote down some notes about the episodes I did watch (I watched up until ep 6, which is very ironic bc apparently today is its anniversary, so yay for my perfect timing). I actually remember most of the stuff that happened in s1, so here's mostly a few things I paid more attention to or noticed about the characters and the ships, or things i'm able to look at through a different view now that i've watched all the seasons. Strap in if you want to see my notes, if not just scroll please, no ship or character hate here please. Also, feel free to ignore, this is really just a personal look in some stuff I didn't notice in my first watch.

- Betty's character used to be much happier and lighter in season 1. I know we're introduced to "Dark Betty" right in episode 3, but still, I feel like the way Lili played Betty in season 1 did not hold the same "darkness" as it does in the following seasons. The scene where she is dancing happily in her bedroom because she's going to homecoming with the boy she likes? The scene where she introduces Jughead to the Blue & Gold and gets him to work with her? Her genuine innocent happiness at seeing her sister again after so much time? The way she interacted with Kevin and Veronica? Those were all chef's kiss because she actually feels like a teenager in them. In all her girly glory, she radiates youth energy and it's a thing that was sadly lacking after s1. Btw this is not a critique at Lili's acting at all, I blame it entirely on Ras and his obsession with dark Betty.

- There's actually so many indications of Cheryl being a lgbt character in the first episodes that I have no idea how I missed it the first time. But then again, there were many indications with Veronica as well, and sadly that's not the path Ras chose for her.

- Jughead in s1 is truly so superior in so many ways that it's not hard to see why he quickly became such a fan favorite. I think even if he wasn't played by Cole Sprouse, he still would have conquered many fans' hearts. Sadly, the things that made Jughead such a loving and interesting character for me also fizzled out in s2 when the writing team decided to make him a woke serpent leader instead of allowing him to sticking to his true personality as a passionate mystery lover, a dedicated friend and very nerdy, which was very cute. I feel that we got some of that back for him in s4, which was good, but sadly s1 is where my love for him really stayed to stay. But I still care for him, and s5 has a promising storyline for him which i'm excited about, so let's see if s5 Jughead can become better than s1 Jughead.

- Going back again to Cheryl for a sec, I just noticed that the red lipstick actually wasn't that common for her in s1? At least not in the first five. I wonder when did it start becoming her trademark? Anyways, it's actually a really good look her and allows you to appreciate Madelaine's natural beauty even more.

- Also, did anybody notice how Alice lowkey figured out who killed Jason in ep 2 lmao, like... in episode two she legit says she wouldn't be surprised if the Blossoms themselves had killed Jason, which... is what happened LMAO, considering we know it was his father. And even more hilarious and tragically ironic note, in ep 6 she's laughing at Betty suggesting that Hal killed Jason because "do you think your father has the stomach for it?!"... Ma'am... i'm-.... 😂😂😂😂.

- This rewatch has reminded me of how much I adored and how I much I miss Josie and the Pussycats. The girls were such a nice addition to the cast, and their songs were so beautiful. I truly wish we get to see them again someday, but at the same time I also think the actresses deserve to be at a work place where they're given the treatment they deserve and not completely ignored and treated like extras.

- Archie/Valerie was super cute and is very underrated in the fandom, but i'm glad Valerie stood up for herself and didn't take any of Archie's or Cheryl's sh*t. Still sucks because they were really good together, though.

- Why was Jason not allowed to talk, lmao? Like, i'm sure it's become a running joke in the show at this point, but back when season one was airing what was the excuse for it? He appeared in so many flashbacks and scenes and we still never heard a single word ☠️☠️☠️☠️. I just want to know what was the reason lol.

- I liked s1 Reggie, but I feel like Charles Melton's Reggie is better because he actually feels like a douche with good intentions lol, and he has more of a personality. Most of the time I even forgot about Reggie in s1, but after s2 he definitely made me more aware of him. So for that, I like Charles Melton's Reggie more. But the actor from s1 still did a good job with what he was given.

From now on I will be talking about the ships, so bear with me, and know that I am a multishipper. Yes, I have my preferences. No, my word is not law, it's just an opinion, so please respect it.

- Bughead is still super cute in s1. I feel like from s1 they will always be my otp, even if I no longer feel as strongly about them now and have a different insight as to where I would like their story to go, and now I definitely see the problem others had mentioned before of how they kind of took over the show, which is something I kind of closed my eyes to before... But I really loved them in s1. It felt like a very juvenile teenage relationship, they didn't give much thought on why and if they should be together, they just went for it like teenagers usually do, and they were very very cute together.

- I feel like if you don't count Beronica (because they really were the best no matter what you say or ship), if there's a ship that deserves "best chemistry" award for s1 is probably Varchie. I lost my interest in them years ago, but this rewatch reminded me of why I actually loved them once. They never really became an otp for me, but Kj and Camila's chemistry in s1 was VERY GOOD, and I really liked them. Their kiss in the pilot was electric and the s&xual tension was OOF, and that chemistry carries on through the season. You can easily tell something will happen between them eventually. It makes me sad bc I don't know what happened after s1, but their chemistry from s2 onwards was just... not there for me. Which is ironic bc it's the season they truly started dating and they got a lot of smexy scenes, but I just... didn't feel it. But I'll leave that comment to my s2 rewatch. For now just let me enjoy Varchie's chemistry in s1 while it lasts because it was really good.

- Now we get to Barchie, who I made clear was the reason for my rewatch, so let's get to it. I LOVED the way Barchie was written in s1. I remember when I first watched Riverdale, I was curious about their dynamic but didn't put much thought into it because I loved Bughead too much and wanted them to be together, and I thought Barchie would be the traditional "first og ship" thing and wouldn't have a big follow up, but boy was I WRONG and am I GLAD for it. I'll talk more about their development in the next seasons when I get there, so for now let's focus a bit on s1. Just in like the first two episodes, there is so much Barchie foreshadowing, like, it's legit insane how it was right there in my face and I missed it the first time! "I have never felt what i'm supposed to feel with betty", "it's not my fault he doesn't like you", "I can't give you the answer you want"... Omg, those are obvious eyebrow raising "this will come back to bite you in the a$$" moments and it's incredible how they actually DO! I would call it clever writing, but like... it's Riverdale lol. So I really am just glad that the ship was done this way, i'm glad Barchie has the back story that they do, they've really come a LONG way and i'm happy I get to experience their whole growing storyline. It's also especially good because s1 actually provides you with scenes that show you their friendship and how they're so close, you see them hanging out, talking, their pictures together, everything was just really done well with them. Still have a bit of critique with the way Archie contradicted himself sometimes regardinf his feelings for Betty, but let's be honest, we've watched enough Riverdale to know that's just a problem with the writing.

- Kevin/Joaquin is still my favorite Kevin ship, i'm sad it's completely impossible to go back to them someday so for now i'll just be really glad it existed and that I got to see them even if it was short-lived. They had great chemistry and their kiss scenes always outsold.

- Beronica... sigh. Beronica. The most wasted chemistry i've ever seen on CW and I've watched a LOT of CW shows. There was so much potential there, s1 was practically overflowing with them and it's one of the reasons it became some popular. I remember when the Beronica fandom was the biggest one, ah, good times. Veronica and Betty were easily the best part of season 1, their friendship, their lowkey romantic moments, they were just superior in every way. This ship deserved better, not even just as a ship, but as a friendship.

- Veronica's s1 hair >>> Veronica's hair in seasons 2-4. I loved the side part and I am glad it's back in season 5, it looks so much better like that.

- Cheryl, as always, deserves better. Can't wait for her to meet Toni so I can watch again Cheryl finally get to love someone and be loved back, which is exactly what she deserves.

For now, that is all! I will probably make another post soon when i'm done with season one and from season two on I will be live-blogging the episodes since I will be watching it alone. Once again, pls, no hate, my thoughts are my thoughts. Peace.

[parxdisepier]

Understanding/Character study: Heckyl

↳ Everyтнιɴɢ ιѕ вlυe

Hιѕ pιllѕ, нιѕ нαɴdѕ, нιѕ jeαɴѕ

Aɴd ɴow ι'м covered ιɴ тнe colorѕ pυll αpαrт αт тнe ѕeαмѕ

Aɴd ιт'ѕ вlυe

Aɴd ιт'ѕ вlυe

Shelby was really important for Heckyl's redemption. And is something interesting regarding the narrative giving that she is the one who wised up to his scheme earlier than any other ranger. She was the one that supposed that the dark energem was the one factor in common. And of course, Shelby is the one that gives him a chance at first and then is the one that tries to make him stay and help them. It is nice to have the first character that suspected another one to be the first character to believe in that same character. Is almost like a full circle Heckyl is incredibly fake for most the season, he smiles a lot but it's not a happy smile, it's part of his act, pretending to be nice and in control. And when it drops completely is the only time he's being genuine (excluding his little smile when the rangers accept him, because it was very different from his look the rest of the time). His act falls apart when he's not in control of the situation, and reveals that he's not as untouched and unfeeling as he seemed, even if he's still not good.

☆ Bonuses ☆

About the whole explanation that he gave about doing all the stuff to restore Sentai 6, I call BS. ((As I understood it, he remembered about who he was and everything else once he saw Arcanon with the Dark Energem. Before that, it was Snide the one that seemed to have a notion about the energems as keys for something about them that was unknown. When he confronted Arcanon before the reveal it was because he was in his territory and then as a response to the threat of becoming someones' prisoner again... His planet had nothing to do with it. It was after he remembered that he started caring and that Snide commented on it, before that none seemed to care one bit or even have any knowledge)) For me it was his way to cope with his own actions once he recovered his memories. If he was honest about his motivations, he would not have problems trying to contact the Rangers or believing Shelby, but the fact is that he stayed in the middle of nowhere and became cynic to her words. Those two things are the ones that tell me that he didn't believe his own words and as we saw in the last aired episode he thinks of him as monster and a villain ( which again is good because, I do not like excuses that crap over the characterization and the story for an easy way out).

☆ Bonus 2.0 ☆

he has some very contradictory characterization too: he's manipulative and he's destroyed galaxies, but both Heckyl and Snide confirmed that Heckyl cared for his planet a lot, and Heckyl seems to still feel sad about it's destruction (which, since keeper knew about it, probably happened over 65 million years ago). While the other monsters seems to enjoy destruction, Heckyl is more apathetic towards it, like it's part of his job but not a hobby. He doesn't hesitate or feel bad about it, but unlike baddusa (?) I doubt he destroyed galaxies just for fun. And yet we know it was Heckyl who did it, and not Snide, since the others didn't seem to know about Snide at all. So I'm thinking he was telling the truth to an extent when he said everything he did was to restore his planet, like going through galaxies tearing them apart to find some power that could help, until his original motive and personality (and morals) were so warped that he became who he was when he was captured by Sledge, and at that point was really just after power and control.

on the fact that he is no longer who he was in the past and that he is still finding his footing. I believe he takes Shelby's opinion on account because she is the one that unmasked him, but is reactionary towards the others because they come from a place of necessity and not knowledge. I don't think he sees actions as futile per se, but knows that they can be and knows how wrong things can turn. On that note, it is good for the characterization to have the character actually having to deal with his actions and taking responsibility.

Heckyl was still reeling from the regaining of his memories, so it would make sense for him to lie to himself (like he does with everyone else) about his true nature. I do think that he knew his planet was destroyed before knowing how it happened though (unless Arcanon gave him a lift off the planet?) because he would remember leaving it, right? Or maybe all his memories up until that point were erased, which I hadn't really considered. I also got the feeling that they had argued about sentai 6 before when snide said "i never cared for your precious sentai 6". I don't know, it just sounded like an old argument. (and another thing about him and shelby, when she said he had changed he looked honestly contemplative. hesitant, but like he was considering it. but when the others agreed he instantly became defensive and went back to his "i don't care about your problems" act, which is pretty funny when you think about the fact that he chose to have his last meal somewhere he knew they would be)

he is really fake. I suppose it has to do with the fact that people trust more a smile and cannot differentiate nice from good. Also, when he is not faking it he is quite serious and also a real cynic./ Completely agree, Shelby opinion does matter to him because she is the one person that saw through the act (the thing is not only that, but her willingness to set aside their differences and work together and even acknowledging his help must have been quite a factor)/ Also, yes, he is very temperamental and easy to upset if one thing does not go as planned (given the entire merged with Snide situation,with the constant fluctuation and fight for control it makes the whole ruined plans even worse)/ Well, yes, I said it before. HE was the one that destroyed those galaxies. And I will add, look at him when he kills, as you said he is apathetic (I guess after destroying galaxies the individuals are nothing to him)

Heckyl is incredibly fake for most the season, he smiles a lot but it's not a happy smile, it's part of his act, pretending to be nice and in control. And when it drops completely is the only time he's being genuine (excluding his little smile when the rangers accept him, because it was very different from his look the rest of the time). His act falls apart when he's not in control of the situation, and reveals that he's not as untouched and unfeeling as he seemed, even if he's still not good. I love that Shelby is the one who sees through him every time, and how much more Heckyl seems to value her opinion of him than the others.

Heckyl (and still having him be not excused for his actions) is in my opinion a better way to portray good and evil, that the (projected) ends don't justify the means. Just because he has a reason for what he does doesn't mean it's okay to do that. I also want to think that the dark energem wasn't 'possessing' him or making him do these things, which would also explain why Heckyl still considers himself a monster after the influence is gone. Because he doesn't feel any different, the Heckyl who "fought so hard to save his own planet" really is gone, but so is the one who destroyed.

he is really fake. I suppose it has to do with the fact that people trust more a smile and cannot differentiate nice from good. Also, when he is not faking it he is quite serious and also a real cynic./ Completely agree, Shelby opinion does matter to him because she is the one person that saw through the act (the thing is not only that, but her willingness to set aside their differences and work together and even acknowledging his help must have been quite a factor)/ Also, yes, he is very temperamental and easy to upset if one thing does not go as planned (given the entire merged with Snide situation,with the constant fluctuation and fight for control it makes the whole ruined plans even worse)/ Well, yes, I said it before. HE was the one that destroyed those galaxies. And I will add, look at him when he kills, as you said he is apathetic (I guess after destroying galaxies the individuals are nothing to him)

his way to cope with his own actions once he recovered his memories. If he was honest about his motivations, he would not have problems trying to contact the Rangers or believing Shelby, but the fact is that he stayed in the middle of nowhere and became cynic to her words. Those two things are the ones that tell me that he didn't believe his own words and as we saw in the last aired episode he thinks of him as monster and a villain.

the dark energem does create dark halves from something that is already there: Zenowing had just lost his teacher and had probably felt guilty over what happened to Sentai 6, as it was them the ones that hided the dark energem there without any protection. Heckyl was already most likely the sole survivor of Arcanon's attacks, was just wasting time trying to escape the later and most likely he knew it. In both cases you have survivors guilt and frustration.

Heckyl, shows complete cynicism once he is confronted with a similar situation given his experience he is aware that things can go south and just accepts it; it is not a pessimistic it is someone with experience.

Please give these two lovely comments that was by Mad F and DamnQuilty some likes and love for this.

↴↴Music video where the character study was from↴↴

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pWYaw1gOUyQ

[cannot-decide-on-a-fandom]

Because I can't keep only making Haikyuu videos, I'll just do this here

(Part 1) I'm gonna go ahead and rate every match in the series

Rules:

1) We need to see a significant portion of the game, so simply glimpses of practice or official matches or just really short games don't count (so let's say more than 2 chapters long in the manga (with one exception as it's kind of a crucial one), I know this will miss out a few great moments, and basically the entirety of the training camp, but this list would be like 1000 pages long otherwise)

2) I'll go in chronological order as opposed to preference order because I'm too lazy for that

3) This first post is gonna be all the matches already in the anime, and I'll make a second about the manga (I'll post a link to each other on both) so this is spoiler free. Here's part 2 with the manga matches-

Alright

Yukigaoka Junior High Vs Kitagawa Daiichi

Okay, obviously this was more like a prologue than anything else. It holds a place in my heart for introducing us to these characters, and later on for not dropping Kouji and Izumi, and I liked the little details like how being in the football club meant he was able to make a good save or 2 with his foot. But of course this was hardly a match necessarily. Still fun and I enjoyed a lot of it, though.

6/10

Karasuno 3 Vs 3

Oh, Tsukki, to think you aren't as big of a douchebag as you seemed here.

I really do appreciate the entire situation, though. Tsukishima never disliked volleyball, it wasn't like he suddenly started getting serious after never doing so before when the Shiratorizawa match came, he was always one who could be riled up but he just didn't want to show it because it was irritating to him that people were so intense.

The match itself was really nice for what it was. The early matches really contained a lot of foreshadowing, like Yamaguchi messing up the serve we saw him do. And of course this was the start of the partnership between Kageyama and Hinata. Still warming up to proper matches, of course.

6/10

Karasuno Vs Aoba Johsai practice match

Okay, this is undoubtedly the funniest match of the show. Not necessarily the funnest (I won't forget Jozenji) but it was kind of hilarious. Poor Hinata freaking out, I love him, but it was so endearing. And of course there's the serve mistake he made. Baby crow grew up afterwards.

But then Oikawa's introduction was badass as hell. I love the entire Seijoh team, they're great, and I love every opposing team, but Oikawa is still the best rival in the series in my opinion. And people like Tanaka got some spotlight too which was nice.

7/10

Karasuno High Vs Neighborhood Association

Listen. I may be biased because I love the Neighborhood Association, but I absolutely loved this match. It was hype even though it was low stakes. We got Noya and Asahi playing for the first time, and Suga as well in fact. The introduction of the jump float serve. Some fantastic saves and spikes. I love it. And it was emotionally fulfilling.

7/10

Karasuno Vs Nekoma practice match

NEKOMA! Sorry, sorry. Just love them.

Anyway, I'm only talking about the match so I can't count how much I adored Kenma's introduction and the two of them meeting (Hinata, you're my cinnamon roll), nor can I count the ridiculous interactions before and after (Yamamoto and Tanaka, Kuroo and Daichi, and Yaku and Suga, are just too perfect) but other than that, I REALLY liked how Nekoma was the first team to show us how any spike can be countered. I loved Hinata and Inuoka's rivalry, and I so appreciated how they showed Kenma being a strategist. Also, in the manga, there's like 20 panels of him like this

Which is a) a freaking mood, and b) one stupidly endearing quality about him.

Maybe this match is just about how much I love every character?

But it was so fun. Oikawa is the best individual rival, but Nekoma is their best rival as a whole. It's just so great.

7.5/10

Karasuno Vs Tokonami

I loved how we got backstory for Daichi. I don't know why, but I didn't exactly expect it? Like I expected development, but I guess I'm used to the focus being purely the main characters in terms of backstory, at least this early on, in most series. But I really like Ikejiri and I find his dynamic with Daichi endearing.

Not the best "match" but I appreciated the sentiment

6/10

Karasuno Vs Dateko

Oh, now we're talking. Gonna be honest, Dateko is one of my least favourite teams (I still love them! I love every single team. They're just on the lower end of a really highly appreciative scale) but this match was fantastic.

Again, I may be judging this based on one aspect, but I mean to this day Noya's save is one of my favourite scenes in anything. It was so well done, both anime and manga, and I just fell even more in love with Noya. And the symbolism of smashing through the iron wall was so great.

8/10

Karasuno Vs Aoba Johsai (1st official match)

And we come to the only team which Karasuno faced more than once in an official game (that we see) and that means I can't help but judge it harsher because their second game was awesome

HOWEVER! I still 100% love this game. It's such an important game to everyone and though I won't count the after effect, in the restaurant and all, I will count the immediate aftermath. It was so sad but also understandable and the entire match itself was intense. I could go into it, but it just paid off. The build up and the animosity between some of the players, the background we got for the characters during this game, the freaking soundtrack which is incredible in any of the matches.

Fantastic.

8.5/10

Karasuno Vs Oghiminami

...Meh

4/10

Karasuno Vs Kakugawa

...Meh again

With a side of interest in the idea of facing a 2m tall player, but...yeah, meh (neither game was bad, I just hardly cared about the actual matches. I enjoyed the surrounding discussions and all way more)

5/10

Karasuno Vs Jozenji

Most certainly NOT meh!

I love Jozenji so much. I want to see them more! They're so, so fun, and this shows you don't have to stick within a specific type of play. Be able to have fun while also being serious, it's important!

And, like, they're good! They're not bad or anything, even though they're messing around. They're entertaining as hell but also try hard.

I love them

And we got to see Suga playing too. I love him so I need to point this out.

8/10

Karasuno Vs Wakutani

Firstly, rip Daichi.

Alright, but seriously, I'm so glad we got to see someone like Takeru. His playing style is completely different to Hinata's at this point, yet they admire the same player, but neither of them are actually cruel or rude to the other team. This was such a respectful match while also being intense.

And we got to see an injury of a key player who couldn't go back on the court unlike Kags in the previous game, which, while unfortunate, is actually really, really good to see. It happens and can throw a spanner in the works, but it allowed us to also see 1) Ennoshita stepping up, 2) Tanaka's reaction to accidentally injuring Daichi (though it wasn't really his fault), and 3) an entirely different type of dynamic on the court.

Also, Yamaguchi! My baby! I felt like crying for the poor thing, but this was the start of his confidence and I love him so much.

I really, really, really liked this match.

8.5/10

Karasuno Vs Aoba Johsai (2nd official match)

YES!

Okay, firstly, the strategies in this game. Using a double edged sword like Mad Dog from Aoba Johsai, and Karasuno going with a more tactic savvy thinker when in a bind, like Suga, even though Kageyama is over all a better player, it was SO great to see. Suga may not be a genius or a prodigy, but his intelligence doesn't just lie in volleyball, so he can use general knowledge to his advantage so well, and teach Kageyama something too.

Kyoutani is such an interesting character and forms a brilliant dynamic for the team to play with, it's great.

Oikawa being shown to make genuine errors is such a fantastic thing. No matter how good you are, Oikawa, Kageyama, Ushijima, whoever, you will never be 100% perfect, and you will always have moments where you make mistakes. I really enjoyed seeing that. Especially his serves, which we were introduced to before his setting.

And, of course, the Hero of the match...

I WILL PROTECT YOU! BUT RIGHT NOW YOU DON'T NEED PROTECTING, YOU ARE SMASHING IT, YES BABY!

Sorry. Got over whelmed. But real talk, I also liked that they did eventually lose that set. Miraculous plays don't automatically win the game, but it also doesn't diminish their importance.

9/10

And finally for this list

Karasuno Vs Shiratorizawa

Well, do I really need to say it?

Yes, Tsukishima owned this match, this season of the show, but he wasn't the only great player

Nishinoya had some amazing moments, Hinata is such an idiot but he utilised that to his advantage by...not thinking. Like, he deliberately received the ball with his face. I mean, come on.

Yamaguchi played great too, Suga was such a key part even when on the bench (yelling at them from the side lines is absolutely brilliant), pretty much everyone was amazing here.

But while it was longer, I still preferred the Aoba Johsai game. Only slightly. Still-

9/10

Okay! So that was the anime, now...

I committed to do the manga too, didn't I?

Alright, it does contain my 2 favourite matches, so you know what? Yeah, let's go