#It may be nothing more than a silly way to express joy and whimsy but do you really need anything more than that?

[cubicpeebles]

Silly ways of communicating in games without using any sort of chat function are so important to me. Crouching up and down, jumping around in circles, spamming emotes or voicelines... It makes me feel like some sort of little bug and I love it. We are little critters and we are having fun together.

[sonicfanj]

Why do you prefer Amy over Sally?

I’ve taken to long to answer this question and would like to first thank you for your patience Anon.

So, I suppose a bit of an explanation for why I took so long is due as well. Mostly, it was a lack of time but also trying to find a way to define ‘why’. There are an awful lot of ways I could go about it as I am the type of person who is heavily invested in the details. Unfortunately the more I thought about it the harder it was going to get for me to really actually break it down. Fortunately, something recently reminded me of the role the Uncle Chuck plays in it and I can fortunately use him to transition into my history with the characters.

Now, I’ve been a Sonic fan for a long time, all the way back to 1991 actually with the original. As a US citizen naturally I saw SatAM and AoStH on TV as well. Where I get strange from what I see though is that I was quite the picky kid. I couldn’t understand why Sonic did not match his in game design, and had no idea what was wrong with Eggman. And yes, even back in the early 90s I was one of the few kids who knew the Japanese name was his original name, though I used them interchangeably back then. The thing is though, neither show ever looked like the games and that bothered me to no end. I recall that my older siblings and I preferred SatAM to AoStH for the more serious story and atmosphere, even likening it to the bad futures of Sonic CD. There in though is where the divide begins.

I was one of the very few kids who played Sonic CD back in 1993 and to this day it is still my favorite Sonic game, no less video game of all time. I actually did not play the higher praised by the fanbase Death Egg Saga games until Sonic Jam on the SEGA Saturn and that little collection did something for me that Sonic CD had also done. They showed me with the OVA trailer that Sonic and Eggman could be drawn properly. It showed me that Tails could be colored properly. They showed me that the wonder of the games could be captured in animation. It was glorious and to this day still leaves me yearning for a Sonic anime that actually captures it. Sonic CD on it’s own though was already killing SatAM for me.

A lot of people praise the Freedom Fighters. That quirky crew of rebels has brought so many people so much joy and I have nothing but respect for them for that. The thing is though, they were forgettable to me. When I turned my back on pretty much anything that was not the games that I knew I completely forgot about them until I finally got involved in the fanbase after Sonic Generations was announced and I had to do some major research to know what anyone was talking about. A game centric upbringing with only really main games as those I played will do that.

Amy meanwhile, despite CD being the only game I played that she was in until Adventure just struck me right. Her design, her on screen personality. These things just filled me with joy and it was very rare that I would not interreact with her in Palm Tree Panic as much as I could. I was actually so disappointed her design was changed for Adventure but her personality was exactly what I was expecting; a sweet bubbly girl with a lot of spunk and a love for Sonic.

So at this point I should come back around to Uncle Chuck as he will be necessary to explain why it took so long for me to even find anything in Sally worth enjoying, no less actually liking her come the 252 reboot. As I mentioned above, Sonic CD is my favorite game all time, but for as much as I loved Amy even back in 1993, Metal Sonic was my favorite character. Getting to Stardust Speedway and spending hours trying to beat him were the highlights with my playing back the until I finally beat him and cleared the game. That difficulty endeared Metal Sonic to me and left a very strong impression on me that still persists to this day. The thing is, Metal Sonic was my childhood and Uncle Chuck was a slap in the face.

You may recall that back in SatAM and a lot of early Archie, Uncle Chuck spent a lot of time roboticized. Now I know I did not see SatAM regularly because TV stations are questionable in their practices and I have parents who wanted the TV for their own shows. As a result I was unprepared for his introduction and in the cliffhanger where they simply showed a pair of red glowing eyes, little Metal Sonic fan that I was thought they were introducing Metal Sonic. When the next episode revealed it was a roboticized Uncle Chuck and not Metal Sonic, it was the last straw for the kid that was into Sonic for the games, and I only had access to two of them. Yet I turned my back on SatAM and everything made in the US that was not directly related to the games.

So because of Uncle Chuck my primary exposure to the cast were the main games and Sonic CD. Adventure finally let me play as Amy and the Freedom Fighters were a shoved aside memory from a wasted opportunity who never impressed themselves onto me. All of that changed come Generations as X showed me that even the Japanese could butcher the games I love and not draw Sonic right and as I joined the fandom through the US Sally should have had the chance to impress herself upon me. Unfortunately she was not given that opportunity because of her fans.

As is obvious, I’m an Amy fan. When I joined the fandom being an Amy fan in the US was not seen as a good thing and the war of hatred between Sally fans and Amy fans still has scars left over today throughout the Sonic community. When presented with Sally through the fans I interacted with, Sally was simply perfection incarnate and Amy should die in a fire while Sonic worships her for killing the hellspawn. It was not a good experience and offered no support for the games and the adventures I enjoyed and came to Sonic for. I also for a time came to despise the character solely for her fans which happened to me in recent years with the Tales of Franchise and the character Alisha. Unpleasant fans make it difficult to enjoy a character or even come to at least understand them. Fortunately I was willing to do some research of my own because I still felt like I needed the knowledge, and maybe the character could speak for herself. I was in for quite a bit of disappointment.

What my research turned up at the time was a character who was simultaneously useless, nothing more but an object of power for Sonic to worship like an indoctrinated thrall, and managed to match Tails in point of view at the time of dumbing Sonic down to where I felt in their presences he couldn’t figure out he was supposed to open his own mouth to eat if they weren’t there. This may be hard to believe but I actually disliked Tails quite a bit for several years as Sonic seemed to be constantly dumbed down so Tails could be useful rather than the kid who could keep up if he gave his all. Yet the OVA (subbed) saved Tails for me. Sally meanwhile continued to undermine Sonic with the Genesis Story during the events of Sonic 1 via the first Genesis Wave where she “helped” Sonic find the courage to enter the water in Labyrinth Zone and he found it not so bad because of her. It was one of the few times I found why people called her a Mary Sue.

What finally saved Sally for me was actually Amy. Though I never liked how aggressive and violent Amy had become compared to playful and mischievous from Sonic X on, and a coming reexamination of her character after learning she addressed Sonic a certain way in the Japanese manuals leading me to fully fall for Kazuyuki Hoshino’s vision of her, her conversations with Mecha Sally would turn the tide for Sally. Amy being Amy spoke of friendship and the friendship they had. While I never read the comics and could not examine their relationship, come the reboot in 252, from the get go the two were shown as good friends and I could finally see Sally’s character. She was wise tactically and cared for her friends, bit was also highly responsible and took her duties seriously. In Amy and her friends she found the comfort to unwind and just be another person no matter what was going on. Her and Amy’s chats while going around the world during the lead up to and during the Unleashed adaption made her fun and enjoyable, no less relatable. She was finally a character, a person, and not just an object that Sonic was chained to like a slobbering cartoon dog with their bone. It was refreshing and I enjoy the friendship between Sally and Amy so much that I still feel if the Freedom Fighters were to have been adapted to IDW for just a cameo that Sally would have been the perfect friend to hand the Restoration off to as she finally returned to her own adventuring ways. And that right there is the big difference point.

I come to Sonic for adventure, whimsy, and wonder. The sense of discover of meeting new people and seeing wonderous new locations. I love characters full of life and the love for adventure. Sally, unfortunately for her, does not represent that. Her role for years kept Sonic away from those adventures. Instead of supporting whimsy and constant new discovery, she supported stability and staying forever at home. By the nature of her role as a character and in universe, she just can’t be that type of character and that is not her fault. Amy meanwhile is a character designed to follow Sonic no matter where he goes. That she also is a girly-tomboy, one of my favorite character archetypes, but also bubbly and silly, playful and mischievous, and generally full of good cheer and limitless positivity (or used to be at lease) just always entertains me. That she also has the courage to open wear and express her emotions, including her love, is both entertaining on one hand, but also inspiring on another when you are raised in a society that hates honesty, emotions, and expressing that you love someone. Amy was refreshing, whereas Sally when I first looked into her, and her fans that I interacted with, represented oppression and that being you was the worst thing that could ever happen to the human race, something that Sonic and Amy both stand against. Fortunately Amy showed me there is plenty to like with Sally, and it’s a real shame her character was vaulted before that potential could finally be perceived. And yet, in the end, as I grew up on the main games and had my expectations born of them and further refined as I learned more and more of the Japanese lore for the games, Sally and the role she has could never provide me with what I come to Sonic for. Adventure, the whimsy that gives rise to it, the discovers that come from it, and the heroics at it’s climax. Sally by nature is not a whimsical character, nor should she be. It isn’t who she is and she deserves to be respected for that. And it’s thanks to her friendship with Amy that I finally saw that and can enjoy her character. But like Amy, I want to follow Sonic on his adventures, and her bubbly, playful, cheerful, optimistic, and mischievous personality makes following Sonic that much more enjoyable to me.

To simplify it here at the end, my love of Metal Sonic and Uncle Chuck prevented me from ever learning who Sally was. It was Amy’s friendship with her that finally changed that and I found a character who has a lot of potential and is quite enjoyable on her own. But Amy’s personality, whimsy, and propensity for adventure, or the the trouble that will take her on one, makes her the more enjoyable character for me. I know the whole explanation was a little long, but I hope it helps explains my preference for you Anon. Thanks for asking.

[harlot-of-oblivion]

Fairies May Cry

You prove that no trinket nor treasure will ever be lost again as long as you're around the shop.

Chapter 10: Pretty Boy’s Lost Marbles

I would like to thank @vergilsangel for the cute marble idea! Hope you enjoy, darling! 😘

Vergil has learned that the mischievous reputation of the fey folk most definitely proceeds you ever since he agreed to your offer of assistance. He thought that a lot of that pent of playfulness would be spent on pranking his younger brother. However, you did disappoint him on that front. It is nice having a pixie around to punish Dante for “being a big ol’ meanie” by making a mess of his precious magazines and hiding all of his free strawberry sundae coupons.

And Vergil was no fool when he made the deal with you. He knew that he would have to deal with some of your mischief since you are after all his “very pretty pixie” as you put it. What he did not expect was all your playfulness toward him to be so fond and sometimes downright flirtatious. A part of him blames Dante for subtly encouraging you, but he knew that the fey folk are known to show overwhelming interest to those that get their attention.  

The proud expression on your face as you show him all the lost trinkets you have found. The soft chiming quality of your giggles when one of your silly pranks comes to fruition. The charming pink glow of your fairy light while you shower him with genuine admiration and compliments. All of it has been a new experience for Vergil, especially the perplexity of your open displays of affections. But like a true Son of Sparda he has handled the capricious nature of his new frolicsome fairy with utter grace.

“Prettyboyprettyboyprettyboy!”

Vergil sighs at the sound of your tiny voice calling him from afar. He turns the page of his book while sitting on the couch in the office before answering you. “For the last time, Peaseblossom, call me by my-” He cuts himself off as he looks up from his book, totally stunned by the sight that greets him.

You are twirling just above his head with a pleased grin on your face as your pink fairy light shines brightly. The usual sprinkle of fairy dust sparkles under your light, but now you are wearing what looks to be a tiny bikini made of flower petals. And judging by the color you must have used a bluebell along with a few strips from a daffodil petal for polka dots to make it.  

Dante, who is lounging behind his desk, glances over and wolf whistles. “Well, look at you!” He holds up magazine and shows a voluptuous woman wearing a rather revealing bikini striking a provocative pose. “Not bad, Lil’ Blossom,” he commends with a cheeky grin, earning him a severe scowl directed at him from Vergil.  

You giggle and spin around in the air before striking the exact same pose of the swimsuit model. “Well?” you urge sweetly. “Aren’t I pretty?” You surround your small form with glittering hearts made with your fairy dust as you bat your eyelashes at him expectantly.  

“Uh…” Vergil clears his throat and reminds himself not to stare as he maintains his composure. “Well…” He huffs air out of nose, irritated that once again you somehow caught him off guard despite being smaller than his hand.

Your face drops into a sad frown as your fairy light turns blue. “You don’t like it?” you whimper, pooching your lower lip out as your eyes grow wide and glossy with unshed tears.

Just the sight of your sorrowful face churns his stomach. Even though this entire situation is completely absurd he did not want to hurt your feelings. After all, it looks like you put a lot of hard work into your new garment and Vergil is not one to ignore such dedication and passion despite its lack of modesty. So, he swallows his pride for a moment and gives you the praise you desire.        

“It’s…very becoming of you, Peaseblossom.”

Your sad frown is instantly replaced by smile of pure happiness. “Yayyyyy!!!” you squeal in delight, fairy light shuffling through an array of colors as you dart over close to his face and hug his nose with all your tiny strength.

Vergil clears in throat again as he looks away from your embrace, but your sheer joy at his compliment makes a crack in his stoic demeanor. He can already feel a slight blush color his cheeks and once again he wonders how such a small and dainty being can have such an effect on a Son of Sparda.    

“Oh!” you gasp, iridescent wings snap open as your fairy light glows yellow. “Hold on, Pretty Boy!” You let go of his nose and fly away back towards the stairs. “Be right back!” you call out before zooming off down the upstairs hall. Vergil release the breath that he did not even know he was holding and looks up the stairs, curious about what has gotten you so excited this time.

“Awwwww!!!”

Vergil scowls at the sound of Dante’s mushy voice as he shoots a nasty glare over at his meddlesome brother. But it will take more than that to make Dante stand down from whatever foolish sentiment he is about to share. His cheeky grin just widens even more as his shoulders shake in silent snickers.

“Looks like Lil’ Blossom made Pretty Boy blush again!”

Vergil’s eyes flash with indignation and he does not even have to focus that much to summon a sword behind his brother’s chair, skewering him for his unwanted observation. Dante bends over his chair and groans in pain just as you reappear at the top of the stairs. You are carrying what looks to be a small sack by its drawstrings. It must be a bit too heavy since you keep drooping down during your flight, but you manage to bring it all the way to the couch.  

“Here ya go!” you exclaim, dropping the small sack in Vergil’s hand. “Scruffy Boy said that you lost your marbles, so I, your very pretty pixie, found them for you!” you announce proudly, fairy light shining brightly as it flits between pink and yellow.

“Whoa, wait a minute,” Dante sputtering, quickly recovering from the stabbing, “you actually found a lost sack of marbles somewhere in the shop?” he inquiries as his brow arches a disbelief.

Vergil puts down his book and opens the small sack and, sure enough, there are several colorful marbles inside. He reaches in and plucks a royal blue one out, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger as he holds it up for closer inspection. His mind turns and turns until he finally remembers that Dante did say something about him “losing his marbles” before he first introduced you.    

“That’s right, Scruffy Boy!” You cross your tiny arms and puff out your chest. “Nothing will ever be lost again as long as Peaseblossom is around!” you cheerfully vow, sprinkling fairy dust around you and shaping it into a blooming rose around your small form as you hover happily in the air.

Vergil wanted to explain that “losing one’s marbles” is just a figure of speech, but he knew that you probably would not understand. And as he looks up at your adorable show of affirmation, he finds that he does not have the heart to burst your bubble. Especially after all the effort you put into finding the marbles that not even the owner knew he had lost somewhere among the chaos of the shop. So, he hums softly as he extends his hand and offers you the royal blue marble with a soft grin.  

“Thank you, Peaseblossom.”

The biggest smile spreads across your face as you beam up at him and take the marble. Then a lot of squealing, dancing, and laughter ensues as you celebrate, zig zagging in the air as your fairy light phases through many different colors. Dante laughs along with you and even Vergil cannot help but chuckle at your spritely flight.

Every now and then, Vergil may wonder if it really was a good idea to make a deal with a fairy. You are, after all, not only a very pretty pixie, but the embodiment of mischief and whimsy. But it is lighthearted moments like this, the over the top expressions of jubilation and honest displays of admiration, that brings a certain light into his life that was sorely missing until you came along.

And this Son of Sparda counts himself lucky to have a fairy like you around to brighten his day and make living among humans even more interesting.  

My Ao3

My Masterlist

Read Chapter 11

Tagging: @drusoona @bettybattaglia and @exsultry 💖

[beautheexpositor]

My Nerdy Best friends

I wrote an essay for one of my writing classes on something that changed my life, and for me it was about critical role. Here is an abridged version, because I feel like it could resonate or help a lot of people struggling how I have.

When everything is dark, sometimes it’s hard to find a light. For me, the light came from a very unexpected and seemingly trivial place, the show Critical Role. Now, it may seem like just a silly show where “a bunch of nerdy ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons and Dragons,” but for me and so many other people, it has been a life saving experience (Mercer). It entered my life at just the right time, and helped my brother and me more than we could have ever imagined.

To understand my position at a life changing point, it’s also important to know that my brother, Nate, is the person who introduced me to Critical Role. My brother is 6 years older than me, an absolute dork, a kind and loving person, and severely agoraphobic. Over six years ago, he got in a serious car accident on his way to move into college that stopped him in his tracks. He had always had anxiety, but the accident left him more afraid than before. He stopped driving, which eventually turned into him stopping going out, which eventually turned into him not even stepping foot into the dangerous world. His only way of communication with others for the last six years has been video games, social media, chat rooms, and Twitch streams. As his anxiety got worse, it was harder for him to survive. Aside from the friends he had made online, he had nothing, and felt like a failure. Getting better seemed out of the question for a long time, and there were many times when we worried we’d lose him. Him finding Critical Role helped him find new friends, many of whom understood his situation more than the friends he’d had before. Some even started to come over and spend time with him. He got so excited about it, and spread the word to me.

Around six months ago, I got out of the second of back to back long term relationships. While this relationship had been overall healthy, the one before it was not. My ex girlfriend was emotionally manipulative and very controlling, and she had taken a lot from me. She stomped out any ounce of self expression I had, so long as it didn't fit her image of what her S/O should be. I stopped drawing, watching cartoons, playing Dungeons and Dragons, and anything else that she teased or mocked me for. Starting my next relationship immediately after one that damaged me so heavily didn’t allow me time to grow or readjust to who I was, so I continued the unhealthy mindset of living fully for another person. During my second relationship, my new girlfriend and my brother both attempted to get me back into the things I used to love, but it was a difficult transition to make when I didn’t know who I was. It took a long time for any of it to seem possible, and that all started with watching and listening to shows again. When the second break up happened, I felt shattered and empty. Unsure how I was going to put the pieces of myself together again, I reached out to my family and the friends I still had, and I dove myself back into the world of fantasy and whimsy that I had spent too long avoiding.

I was alone in an all new city, with most of my old friends many miles away. I was recovering from a pretty serious and life threatening disease, worrying about the bills and repercussions, and unable to talk to the person I had kept by my side for so long. On days when I couldn’t move, or days when I had nothing to do, escapism was the only way I knew how to deal with the depression and anxiety I was feeling. Without escapism, I only had my thoughts- and those thoughts were telling me I shouldn't even be alive. To silence those thoughts on the bad days, I started watching campaign one on top of my weekly episodes with the Mighty Nein. I started posting about it on social media, and even started drawing again. It allowed me to meet new people, and brought my closer to my brother than I had been in over five years.

What started as escapism became genuine passion for something. Passion for drawing, cosplay, passion for gaming and writing. When I would have days where I felt hopeless, and considered the darkest possibilities for the first time in years, I would turn on episodes, or interviews with the cast. It made me feel surrounded by friends, even if I had never met them. The theme song in the new introduction opens up with the line “The adventure begins, we were always beside you. Your nerdy best friends, and the DM to guide you,” and those lines really resonated with me (Riegel Bailey et al). These people may not know me, but they are my friends. They saved me on multiple occasions from sleepless nights, or days alone in bed with my pain- whether those be physical or emotional. Not only that, but they also allowed me to meet new people. A group of wonderful fans and supporters called the Critters. Never in my life have I been in a group as supportive and enthusiastic to reach out and help others than the critters. Through this show, I got a new group of friends to play Tabletop Games with in Chicago. Through this show, I’ve met groups of cosplayers to go to conventions with and take photos with. Through this show, I’ve met fellow artists who have encouraged me to keep drawing, even if I felt behind. Through this show, I’ve rekindled a relationship with my brother after years of feeling somewhat estranged. Through this show, I've found a family. Later on, it would even be a key factor in Nate going to get help and conquer his agoraphobia.

The things that change our lives can come in many forms. They can appear in the form of a person, a song, a moment, an opportunity, or something totally and completely unexpected. For me, it was Critical Role. If this show hadn’t entered my life, I’m not sure where I would be. Quite honestly, I’m not even sure I’d be alive. Certainly, I wouldn’t being drawing, interacting, writing, and cosplaying again. Our own identity is so important, and I lost that completely because of the circumstances I fell into. Critical Role gave me hope. It gave me a place to go, and a way to hone my creativity and passion. And I know I’m not the only one. I’ve met hundreds of critters who share similar stories, whose lives were changed greatly because of those 8 nerdy voice actors. It may seem trivial or insignificant to those who don’t understand, but without it I wouldn’t be the person I am. My brother wouldn’t have sought out help, I would have never gotten close to him again, I wouldn’t have had a creative outlet, I wouldn’t have started playing D&D again. This show has allowed me to be myself again; that’s about as life changing as it gets.

TLDR: After an unhealthy, manipulative relationship I lost a lot of my identity. My brother was also going through very tough shit, including severe agoraphobia. He found and introduced me to critical role right before I went through another huge breakup and the beginnings of recovery from many severe physical illnesses. The show saved me, and helped me find new friends and passions that have gotten me back into the things I loved before everything happened. The show kept me alive, and the amazing other people who enjoy it helped me find friends and believe in myself. Thanks Critical Role, and the wonderful other people who enjoy it.

If you're struggling through any of the things I mentioned, or anything at all- whether that be money, depression, anxiety, lack of creativity, abuse, sexuality or gender identity, stress, or whatever else, know there is always a place where you can find home. I found it here, and there's always room for more critters! Don't give up hope, don't quit your passions, always find what brings you joy and cling to it. Life is short and happiness is hard to find in dark places, but I promise there's a place for you. 💙 -K