#It is long i know but i really wanted to input all the toughts i kept in my mind this whole time

[cypaira-the-skeleton]

Finally, after a long existence into the void of my mind, I finally brought Raven's grandfather (a.k.a Papá) to life...in a drawing

He was Raven's grandfather when he was still alive. He's her mother's father, and the father-in-law of Raven's original father.

This man was a blessing from the sky. No matter what was thrown to him, no matter how bad people tried to do him wrong, he never got physically hostile, and rarely got himself in fights and arguments.

He wasn't wealthy but he still received a good ammount of money. Alone with his good nature, he used to be very naive. He was married to a woman which turned out to be a ' gold digger ', where she used him just for his money. He noticed his long mistake after Finally opening up his mind and realising that there was never love between them two.

When Raven's mother was growing, she adopted the same behaviour as her mother. Rude, apathetic, gas lighting, and no respect to anyone. Paul eventually divorced his wife, which she proceeded to completely abandon the existence of her own daughter, and he tried to raise his child the best way he could, but the damage was already done.

Even if he was kind, he wasn't stupid (not anymore), he could see the good and bad in the people he knew and met. He tried to keep his daughter away from messing up her own life, and telling her multiple times to be careful at what she does, but she wouldn't listen, leading to her meeting up with a man, doing the deed when she was just 19....and proceed to the existence of Raven.

The neighborhood they lived in was too nosey for him, so he decided to move to a different and more quiet neighborhood in a different village, restarting his life anew while he helped his daughter and future son-in-law to a new life for themselves. He wanted her to finally learn that actions have consequences, and offerd to help take care of his new grandchild when needed.

....as the story might be clear now, due to them becoming early parents cause of their lack of common sense they gave the fault to their new daughter saying that if she didn't exist their life could have been better, cue them feeling forced to take care of a child they carelessly created, not giving her any parental attention or love except when having to give her the vital needs such as nourishment and clothing. The rest, she was treated like a house plant. Give her what she needs, and leave her be.

Now Paul knew what was going on, and he wished he could have taken the whole matter in his hands. Unfortunately, a few years before Raven was born, he was unfortunately made aware of a terminal illness he had, and really couldn't do anything except having a chance to live for a few more years. He wished he would have adopted her, but he knew that once he was gone, she would have went back to her parents, and since no other family members existed, he could only visit them frequently, raise Raven the way he wished his daughter was raised, and be part of her life.

He feared for this little girl to turn for a bad rode, but since he constantly was in her life, she thankfully turned pretty much like him. Kind, generous, appreciative, and a curse to his kindness...Naive.

Raven wouldn't notice that her parents really didn't give a damn of her existence, but he was too glad to see her happy, and let her live in her own innocent and blissful ignorance.

When Raven was 6, his health unfortunately got worse. He had to ask her parents to bring her to his house more frequent, to avoid long travels, and didn't waste a single precious second with his beloved granddaughter. In her eyes, Paul was like a second dad to her, reason why she would call him ' Papá ', and in his, she was the daughter that he regretfully wishes he had.

A few months followed, and his health depleted. Raven somehow managed to go to his house by herself, but he didn't care... he knew his time was coming. It pained him to see Raven confused at why she wasn't gonna spend time with him anymore, still unaware at the concept of death. He gently and patiently explained to her that where he is going now, is not a place she can go to yet. After a few heartfelt " I love you" 's and " I will still look after you ", his soul slipped away from his body, leaving a scared, confused, and heartbroken Raven on his former body.

He watched everything happen, from the day he died, the day of his funeral, the success of her parent's jobs, the news of a new grandchild, the complete neglect of Raven while her baby sister got all the love and attention and the nice things in life, to the day they just left her at an orphanage like a used up object at a Sale shop, and the day Raven was free from her naiveness to realise the dark and sad truth on her life while she sat at a corner at an alleyway.

He wasn't there physically, but spiritually he followed after her every step in life, and he will do so until they get to meet again.

[streets-in-paradise]

Let’s talk about the amazingly on spot social commentary on The Boys

Warning: This post contains spoilers from Season 1 and the first three episodes of season 2 of The Boys 

Tags: @nehoymenyoy asked to be tagged. I don’t know if my tags are working well but if they don’t i will send you the link of the post. 

I decided to make this post because i finished all the avaliable episodes of the series two days ago and, having a long talk with my sister about this topic, i tought this is too awesome to not discuss it here. We are both studying in careers of the social field, i'm in sociology and she is in social work. We watched the show together and talking with her inspired my own ideas i would like to share here.

This show was a wonderfull surprise in terms of social commentary. I haven't watched one with such a great commentary since American Gods. In that case i was expecting some degree of progressive commentary because i had read the book previously and i was aware the source material had some, the one added for the series is even better and it was great, but it wasn't a shock to find it. For The Boys i haven't read the comics first and , even when i loved the show for lots of reasons, the amazing on spot social commentary was a hell of a surprise. I have been frustrated lately in terms of the messages in entertaiment products because, even when there is a lot of intention for part of the makers to make more progressive points in their stuff, everything becomes bland marketing to me most of the time. I remember that some years ago media used to came out unintentionally with some really cool progressive messages ( like, for example, " a bug's life" and its anti capitalist message). That stuff seemed soo genuine and today i feel that everytime a product targets my demographic in that sense what they deliver it's soo bland and fake that the progressive intention of the message gets lost in the absolutely obvious intention of selling something to me using my ideals as catch. Precisely this is an important point of critic in this show. I didn't expected at all to get a genuine feeling in the social commentary of a superhero show. I'm not saying that this means i think the makers believe in this (after all, it's amazon), what i praise here is how good they did it. In a time when most productions claim to have a social commentary behind to come out as cool but result in shallow fake bullshit this series has provided me with something that feels autentic. Like American Gods, what i feel the show is trying to tell me actually gets me.

Before starting with the proper talk i want to dedicate a few línes to recommend a few scenes of the show i just mentioned. I was super dissapointed after finding out they will probably end up turning it into more bland fake bullshit for season 3 but, to anyone who likes well delivered social commentary, check on Orlando Jones's scenes as Anansi. He is my favourite character from the show and all his scenes are a blessing. 

I would also want to clarify that this post and the opinions displayed on it are from an anti capitalist, intersectional feminist and latin american perspective. I know the show is very american, the issues it discusses are most of the time worlwide but it has particularities of the american context so i will try to talk only of what i feel i know enough to have a word. I'm argentinian and we have our local versions of some of this problems but i will stay in the series territory trying to be as faithfull as i can to the american reality it gets inspiration from. Also, forgive me for any mistakes on my writing and expresions. English is not my native language. 

Superheros are modern mythology. How would this work in real life?

This is the basic premise of the show’s worldbuilding. The great thing is that this concept is not developed in an edgy, pretentious way. It is serious and painfully real because it’s not only a subversion of tropes, it says a lot of what superheros are to us as a modern times myth. In a superficial view, the world of The Boys feels like what the MCU could have become after the Sokovia accords if they would have been efficiently followed on a worldwide scale.

In that particular universe i use as reference, our superheros are noble and morally heroic individuals.State intervention is the factor threatening to corrupt their actions making them follow the interests of the system. The risk there, along with some very shady violations of human rights to powered people, is having superheros tied to something as unstable as political power. You can fear, for example, what a Trump-like president could do if he had power over the Avengers because, again, the heros are not corrupt, their line of command is. Now, if we strip away all the idealization we had putted on this bunch of powered persons and see them as what they truly are at the end of the day, people like everyone else. Why are we supposed to believe they are immune to corruption? If we also consider the phenomenon of strong privatization of security that has been growing worldwide . Wouldn’t they be more like security workers working for a private contractor? Less like heros and more like private military / security officers?  Now, this is what we are talking about. 

What feels so different from this show is that it assumes a surprisingly realistic point of view on a modern fantasy we are very used to consuming and still constructs a new power fantasy that empowers the viewer. I’ m saying this as an MCU fan, I had grown too comfortable with this optimistic fantasy and this twist from it is brilliant. To put some context on what i want to say here i will try to explain myself first on why i think that superhero fiction have this enormous popularity today and it has become such a huge thing in entertainment. Besides of the obvious reason of big companies producing big exciting action blockbusters for the genre, it’s curious to think on how much these stories gathered a lot of progressive audiences. In past decades action blockbusters didn’t felt progressive, today’s superhero blockbusters were embraced by progressive audiences and this was the start of a twist in general for the media. I think that there is a contextual social reason for this, not the only factor but one i feel is considerable. 

Late Stage Capitalism crushed us, we are so used to injustice and the control the system has over us is so big that we have slowly stopped dreaming of changing it ourselves. Instead, the fantasy of a superhuman who has the power we don’t have saving us from oppression feels really comforting. Captain America becoming such a huge icon in the middle of a time where extreme facism is rising again all over the world, for example. I don’t know much about his comic counterpart but, at least from what i see in the movies, Steve’s ideals feel to me like all those aspects from French Revolution’s  Enlightenment that capitalism dropped away once bourgeois defeated their feudal rivals and capitalism got consolidated, the freedom and equality that feudal lower classes fought for. Today, we feel too small to make a difference so we enjoy the fantasy of powerful persons leading the fight for us. Capitalism feels more unstoppable than ever, it is the only thing who seems strong to remain in a terribly chaotic world. The suffering this cruel system brings to this world is overwhelming, we feel only a miracle can save us now. This is what feeds the narrative of the superhero as modern myth and saviour of humanity.

The Boys tosses aside all our hopes and dreams, presenting us with the most realistic escenario. Superheros are not the miracle we are waiting for, they are humans like everyone else. They are not sacred entities existing beyond our societies, they are part of the system and they insert on it as part of the security industries. They can be corrupted and they work in corrupt institutions in benefit of the ruling class like every other security provider in capitalist societies. They become a new face of the security forces in constant tension with police and military because the myth of the superhero provides them with the public trust those other two forces lost. People lost their trust in cops but they trust sups because they are supposed to be this noble individuals mobilized by their personal feelings of injustice trying to make the world a better place … right? Police are the forces of the ruling class but superheros are supposed to be with us, or at least this is what common sense and propaganda claim, having our hopes as a base to work on. 

For someone so used to the typical superhero fantasy this felt like a slap on my face back to reality. It soo accurate , the system tends to capture any revolutionary input and turn it into profit. Even if the sups could had been a revolutionary factor at the beginning, the most likely thing to happen is for them to become a profitable industry. If we add to this what we already know of the actions of police and military in our real world we have a combo for disaster. The realistic twist is so fresh and painfully real, i can totally see this happening in real life if superheros were a thing. 

We have already introduced ourselves in the world of this story, let’s check on the first main character this series introduces to us. Hughie Campbell, a college age guy who works in an electronics store, lives with his dad and has the most boring average life you can imagine. This guy who is too afraid to ask his boss for a pay raise changes overnight when a superhero kills his girlfriend in front of him and the big corporation the asshole works for covers up the whole thing. The “average guy becomes a hero” trope is not new at all, but the use it has here feels fresh because it is not there only to feed the male geek power fantasy. Hughie is not a geeky average guy only so geeky average guys can identify with him in an action series full of geeky references,he is not there to be the nerdy guy from Robot Chicken. Hughie’s characterization makes a point for everyone. The smallest most unimportant person, the one who can't even stand up for themselves in everyday situations, can make a change. Remember Samwise Gamgee fighting Shelob in Lord of the Rings? Hughie killing Translucent gives me that vibe. If we consider the point i already stated about superheroes being there when we feel too small to fight back injustice, this is the exact opposite. This is a fantasy that gives us the power, makes us think in our own strengths. Hughie is standing up for himself for the first time in his life and he inspires us to fight for our rights. 

Pharmaceutical,Security and Entertainment industries and their business system : Superheros as lab rats,elite security forces and celebrities. 

This part of the post is the hardest to write and the most exquisite. There is so much to talk about about this system Vought shaped tying these three billionaire industries together. The first thing i want to mention, as a point to start, is Butcher’s ramble over the teddy bear with a camera inside in his meeting with Hughie. Perfect introduction for the character with a delightful moment of commentary. In our current societies people live in constant fear for hundreds of reasons. Fears over street crime had skyrocketed all over the world even when crime is not growing uniformly in every country and that accelerated the privatization of security, fears of parents over the strangers they leave they kids with when they are not home inspired products like the one mentioned in the series’s moment, fears on the effects of processed foods are an impulse for the diet industry and i could keep naming lots of other examples. Fears, and the emotional response they trigger , are the base of profitable businesses. 

I had been reading some authors that describe this stage of capitalism as an emotional one. Capitalism preached science and rationality during the past century but today its base of support is an emotional one. To excite the sensations of the people as consumers, to eliminate rational criticism, to push anti popular agendas through emotional excitement and mass hysteria. To cite another example that you can consider bounded to the series, Right Realism in Criminology is now almost common sense and there are people who keep asking for harsher punitive systems. This ideology, with the help of media panic, goes straight after their feelings and fears of being victims of violent crimes. Rational thinking is not the area of discussion, the base of the argument is on fear and pain. Fear of being potential victims, pain shared with the victims thinking in solutions that sound more like revenge than justice. 

Going back to my point, in the world of The Boys this type of punitivism seems to have succeeded even in a greater way than in our current world because it has superheros as backup. If real life harsh punitivism feeds on fear and a wish for social revenge, in this world it has the positive emotions supes inspire on people as a trust certificate for the persons who may not feel that way. They are loved and worshipped celebrities, their faces are everywhere, they have thousands of fans… who would see flaws in what they do? Can you imagine a world in which we worshipped cops and soldiers like we worship celebrities? This is it, people put their blind faith in them because most of them seem to be their fans. Even the people who are against brutality in the actions of security forces would end up trusting them because they are famous people. Our culture has taught us to make ourselves blind to the bullshit we see on the celebrities we love. Fans have a strong emotional attachment to their favourite celebs and this can turn into emotional manipulation in this context. If actors or singers in real life can have a fanbase that forgets to see them as human people how would these actual superhumans not end up being worshipped as gods? 

There has always been military propaganda in entertainment but this marriage between the industries through superheros is far more sinister than that. It makes you think about the unfair amount of credibility we put in celebrities. The plane crash scene of Homelander and Maeve it’s even more devastating looking at it from that perspective. Those persons had their full trust in them and they were safer with the terrorists. Can you imagine being a Homelander fan and dying there?  That’s horrible, the last thing you get in your life is the biggest disappointment ever from someone you trusted and stanned. 

 Speaking of Homelander, he is a right wing wet dream and one of the best villians i had ever seen, he makes me feel sick with how fucking despicable he is. His character is an excellent point to start the ramble on the third wheel of this corporate nightmare. Superheros are products of the pharmaceutical industry, injected with a drug since they were babies. In his particular case, he was raised like a lab rat and the series is realistic even in this detail. The lab rat kid with superpowers is another common trope that we see pretty often and here it also gets twisted. I’m thinking for example on Eleven from Stranger Things, she has been raised by abusive scientists who treated her as an experiment, yet she is this sweet kiddo who has a hard time socializing. Instead, Homelander is a monster without conscience or mercy and seems to be severely affected by his abnormal childhood. Brilliant, he is the ultimate product of this corporative triangle and depicts everything that's wrong with it. 

The cycle is pretty clear: drugs create them, they play their role in security and their media notoriety justifies their actions. As it is shown in season one,  the security aspect of the corporate complex represented mostly in Homelander’s actions craves to grow bigger and get supes into the military since, in the startpoint of the series, they only work with cops. Since the industry feeds on fear and Vought seems to have a monopoly in the production of powered persons there were no threats big enough to justify the intervention of superhumans in wars. Dismissing the importance of this monopoly for the company, Homelander suministrates the drug to terrorist groups in an attempt to create the first super villains. This is a perfect analogy of how the american war machine works. There is no way for terrorist groups from Third World countries to get access to sophisticated war technology without help from the ones who wield that power better than anyone. The first mentions of the supe terrorists reminded me of when i was in my course of worldwide history in college and i learned there how most of those famous names in middle eastern terrorism were actually friends with the CIA before at some point. Here in South America we have other history regarding the style of USA intervention, the Plan Condor dictatorships in the 70’s and early 80’s. I was just starting my career when I had a month of history classes about the Middle East and, being pretty ignorant on the matter, it shocked me the way in which the US villainized people they used to work with. I think the series makes a great point with this part of the plot because it hints something of this war mechanics. 

Gender politics of the series: a surprisingly complex approach on the topic of sexual assault ,a realistic critic to bland white feminism and the empty cashgrabbing ways in which mainstream media adapts feminist discourse.

This topic was even a bigger surprise for me. I wasn't expecting such an interesting approach of gender issues, mostly because this is the area in which media wannabe woke messages had become more dissapointing to me lately. Specially in a show about superheros, i wasn't expecting to get very interesting points.

I will start talking of the portrayals of sexual assault. We have two sexually assaulted characters in the series, Starlight and Becca. First, i think it is great that they didn't used the "rape as character development" trope. Actually, it's cool how they mock this conceptions. When Starlight saves a woman from being raped on the streets or when she makes a public statement about her sexual assault it's the people behind her, building her public image as a character, the ones who push that trope. In the first time their great character development idea is to sexualize her outfit, after the second event mentioned they literally push her sexual assault as development. I love how the public relationships team acts oftenly in a men writing women way, serving as mirror for the most common mistakes of writers on pop culture products when they write female characters.

Going back to my point, i like the effort they putted into portraying differences in both cases. Homelander is the typical portrayal of a rapist, a narcisistic monster without remorse, a deranged son of a bitch. The Deep is also a piece of shit, but of a different kind. There is a phrase that feminists of my country had popularized " los violadores son hijos sanos del patriarcado" ( it means, the rapists are healthy sons of the patriarchy. It tries to explain they are not crazy individuals who act outside societal circunstancies), the Deep reminded me of that.

He is not crazy, he is an insecure guy with a super fragile ego who abuses women for power. Insecurity on men under patriarchy tends to become bashing of women. This is not a black and white portrayal of a sex criminal, it is surprisingly complex. Of course,his actions were unexcusable. He will never repay what he did to Starlight and other women before her but he has chances of working on his issues and, eventually if he trully wants to get better, stop being the scumbag he is. He is not a deranged criminal whose only fate is to be neutralized for the safety of others.

I think this is important because, at least in my country, i had seen people using sex offenders as an example of why countries without death penalty should implement it. I don't support extreme autoritarian security measures and it makes me sick to hear that there are people claiming those as solutions in the name of women's safety. I like the approach they took to portray The Deep as the piece of shit he is but still showing the complexity of this issue instead of going for a more traditional dichotomic way.

Back to the mocking of mainstream media's attempts of adopting a feminist approach i mentioned, the season two got even better at this commentary on the "Strong Female Character" trope with the introduction of Stormfront. She is the literal embodiment of what shitty marketing says an empowered female character must be and has the biggest "I'm not like other girls" complex ever. That interaction she had with Starlight in "pink = bad, pants = cool" mood was super annoying and blaming her for the assault?? Freaking disgusting.

Honestly, i hated her soo much even before she showed her true colours completely. Stormfront represents everything i hate in Hollywood's feminism and the crappy meaningless messages it's pushing lately. She reminds me to all the fake "woke" advertisements i had seen on tv, like a Carefree (pads brand) advertisement that pissed me off last week because with the slogan " self trust is beauty" it portrayed girls who wear make up as fake and insecure.

Now, speaking of that particular scene of her killing Kimiko's brother. I felt literally sick, even sicker than in every Homelander scene. This bitch is worst than Homelander because at least he gathers a public that serves to his views. If you ever need to provide someone with a proof of why intersectionality in feminism matters use this racist bitch. Horryfying racism hidden behind the progressive mask of a bullshit privileged version of feminism, the thing i hate the most. She has a strong nazi terf vibe. I think she absolutely applies as mirror of critic to stuff like Rowling's terf nonsense. 

The introspective look this series has regarding the multiple issues on today’s attempts of gender approach on media entertainment surprised me. It’s everything i would had wished something to point out but nobody seemed to have the guts to make it happen because, as i already said, the current trend is what it’s being focus of critic here. 

I will end this now, i feel there is plenty of more stuff to talk about but this post is getting very long and, if i get more ideas i want to discuss, i can always make a second post. As i said before, this expresses my humble opinions and i’m open to hear different interpretations that can enrich my views. 

Thanks for reading this extra long ramble. 

[loudlypanickinginvenezolano]

Amusing! Chapter 1, part 2.

«And this, you mother fucker, is why we can’t want nice things. There is an actual risk of them becoming true, and then we will fucking panic because we don’t know that to do. Did you want kisses? There are your cursed kisses, you whiny! And you can’t kiss back nor pet or…or… Fuck this shit. »

Silver is trying his best, Shadow is still very confused, and Sonic…He´s in there, somewhere…

(Working title and summary. Going to change them when I have something more solid to put in.) Even though only Shadow and Silver appear in this chapter, Sonic is in there. He is going to appear in the second chapter. So, yes, this is a triple s.

Part One�� Chapter 1 on AO3 

It was chaste and sweet. Their lips met with care once and once again, slowly as if in a dance. Their posture was a bit awkward, with this of Shadow having his mind set on not moving from his spot, but they made do.

Silver deepened their kiss, then, and Shadow smoothly took the control of it. He wasn’t brusque, nor aggressive. It really wasn’t a fight for dominance, even though it actually (Mh? Kinda?) was. Just not in Shadows side. He just…calmly took over, as if it were the way things were and there was nothing to do about it. Just accept it. It made Silver whine and squirm on his insides because Shit, it was hot. The little nibbling on his lips, the graze of fangs and the wet met of their tongues, the texture of Shadows mouth, the little gasps… It was infuriating, how even now Shadow insisted in keeping things calm yet passionate. Was it even possible to kiss like that? Keep things chaste.

Yeah. Great idea. If you want to end up bald.

It made him whine and fidget, which is a Bad™ idea if you are kissing with Shadow. The ebony parted from their kiss, a little frown appearing on his face at seeing how Silver seemed to just…lean forward, as if losing his balance… or maybe searching for more?

Well, Silver was looking at his lips and basically pouting…So, It was a big maybe? Ah, what did he know.

—Is everything okay? — He asked, and Silver found himself tempted with answering “No, we aren’t kissing anymore, how can things be okay?” but restrained himself in time. It was more a thing that Sonic would say, anyway. (And how could he said that without cackling is still a mystery to both of them, truth to be told.)

—Yes. — He breathed, touching his forehead with Shadows in a loving manner. Something occurred to him, however, and Silver perked up almost instantly, much to Shadows amusement. Great Chaos on earth, what was he supposed to do with these two big dorks…and their inability to stay put!? — That wasn’t a smile, you know?

—No, It really wasn’t, now was it? It certainly made me want to, though.

—Maybe we should do a repeat, then, see if we can get that smile out of you this time…

Shadow snorted, half a smile curling his lips and shoulders shaking with barely repressed laughter. — What the--What was that!? Silver!

Silver definitely was pouting this time.  

Shadow couldn’t help it, he broke down in a fit of loud silly giggles which Silver promptly joined. He took hold of Shadow wrist though, knowing well the tendency of his boyfriend of lifting his hand to his mouth while laughing. He was not disappointed when not long after he felt a very small tug and shift under his grip. You see? He was paying attention!

Once both of them calmed down, Shadow shot him a grateful glance, accompanied with a tiny grin that had Silvers heart melting and his whole body preening because, Happy mate? He looked like an absolute idiot in Shadows eyes, flushing face and wagging tail and…Ah, there goes the heart burn once again. Really, can’t you tone it down a bit? For real, brain, stop with the drugs.

There isn’t a real lot to do, isn’t it?

He rocked on his tip toes, before landing a quick smooch of his own on Silver warm cheek, falling back on his heels and turning, as if something had gained his attention and, well, something certainly did. He almost spluttered. — Is that the time!?

His paralyzed by the shock boyfriend came back to his senses, stuttering and confused and happy of course he is happy what the fuck and really really surprised and- - Silver loud whimper scared Shadow.  

He felt almost cheated by life.

—It is not fair! — He exclaimed, falling hard on the ebony’s strong back, poking at his sides and tummy and doing sad noises because it really wasn’t fair. — Shadow! Shaaaadow~ — He whined, trying to get his boyfriend attention back. — Why did you--It wasn’t fair! You can’t do that! Why? You can’t just be so cute like that and kiss me and then change the topic so-so…Horribly! It was catastrophic!

Shadow just huffed, rolling his eyes at the dramatics. He waited a little until the agitated hedgehog calmed down a bit, his frantic rambling quieting before he spoke: — First of all, I did not change the topic. I am surprised by how quick has the time passed. It is somewhat late, and if you can’t remember, I am in the middle of something--that yes, I need to finish before I go to sleep. Second of all, if I were to really try and change the topic I would at least try my hand at subtleness. Or just outright scream. Third but not less important… I am not cute. I am not, was not, and will not.

—Hm, Shadow… But, you are cute.

—What? I… Do not.

—Do so.

—Do not.

—Do, so!

— Do not! Ah, I’m not discussin´ it with you!

Silver laughed openly at that, and Shadows ears flickered in annoyance. He pecked the ebony neck before rubbing his cheeks on. —You are right about something, though.

—Of course I am.

—It is getting late. —He kept going on, ignoring Shadows input. He squinted at the entry of the kitchen, straining his ears to hear the soft muffled sound of the TV. He wondered if Sonic was still seeing the DVDs he had gotten him that very day, if he was waiting for them to go to sleep, or if he had gone already and was in bed. He hummed, tracking his fingers up and down on Shadows tummy, feeling the muscles quiver and his tail squirm (One of the few tells he had, and not always that reliable.) thanks to the sensation. He also saw the dirty glare the ebony throw him, but he was so used to them and knew that there was no real threat behind it, so he didn’t paid any attention and kept petting him as he tought. — Do you still need to do a lot of things? How long will it take for you to be finished?  

—I need to finish with this, and do the final step before I can put it on the freezer. That will take a while. Then I need to clean, and check the fridge. Fill eh…—He trailed up for a second, before thinking “what the hell” and keep on talking. — fill my thermos for tonight and the two for tomorrow, also leave things ready for when I wake up and need to do breakfast. While I am at it, I guess I could also check the windows and the door. The balcony, as well? I really should check the bathroom, though. I really would appreciate not waking up to an annoying flood once again. I just can’t explain how they keep happening…  

Silver winced, grateful that his mind was a safe place, and with it, the reason behind how the “mysterious floods” keep happening would remain far from Shadows reach… However…

—I think that…No.

—Excuse me? — Shadow blinked, because he really wasn’t expecting that as an answer? Just, what exactly was Silver saying no to? It didn’t sound like he was cutting himself short or something like that.

—I said that no. I’m so sorry, but I don’t think that is going to roll. We both need to sleep, don’t you remember? When do you plan in doing so, at 3 of the morning just to wake up at 5? No sire! I don’t… how about this, Hm? What if you let me help you--Shadow let me speak--and then you can finish up earlier? Before you -No. No, shut. Shut. Shadow, no. Keep your mouth shut. Shut. Stop… Don’t you dare open your mouth. Shadow. No. — He sighed, putting his hand on the other lips and pouting a bit, because, blessed chaos, he was trying to help.— What would you do--I swear that if you try to bite me once again you really aren’t moving out of bed tomorrow morning, fast healing or not. Your pride will not be the only thing sore.

Wisely, Shadow kept calm, lowering his ears slowly as if to show his distaste at doing so? But doing it anyway. Silver sighed once again. Really, was this what he got for his efforts? — Now that we are calm, and for your own good, we behaving, what I was going to say? Ah! Yes, yes, Just, think it, ´kay? If I were really busy, wouldn’t you help me? Even if it’s a silly thing, and you are really annoyed with me, you would help me at the end. You can finishing to do your thing, and I can… I dunnu, Check the windows you said? Oh, I know, I can be washing up the dishes! Or, Uh, What you aren’t going to need anymore, I suppose. —He muttered belatedly, remembering that Sonic did the dishes of the dinner.

Or well, actually, just a half of them, as he had rushed to the entry to retry Silver messenger bag and gotten so excited with his gift and his chattering, that when he blinked and remembered that he had been doing something besides smooching and chocking Silver to death, Shadow was finishing with the last of the cups. Sonic indignant and slightly distressed squeak and the honest to Chaos expression of complete confusion Shadow shot back had made him laugh until his belly hurt. Sonic looked like a feral and cute mad kitty ready to pounce with all of his might (And he was using kitty because this was the safe territory of his own mind where he could compare his boyfriend with a kitty and call both pretty as much as he wanted and be freaking thirsty and whatever he felt like. Fucking free will and speech, yes.) And Shadow like a very lost scientist trying to understand an alien or a really troubled mathematician that was trying their hardest to answer a very complicated problem.

Oh! That made him remember something…Damn. How could he distract Shadow now?  

— I don’t … really know where all of this is coming from, Silver. And, it is just that, ok, it is getting late, but it’s not yet. You can go to bed without a fuss, and when you expect it the least I am going to be there. Aren’t you overreacting, even just a bit? Besides, it is not that much anyway, and this is something I do everyday, by myself, so… —His voice trailed off, both eye ridges lifting and then falling. It was his routine by this point, whoever house they were in, or hell, even if he was by himself. He always did so. Though now that Shadows thought about it, the days were he was completely alone kept getting lesser and lesser by an alarming rate. What the fuck? A disappearing was in order into two days. Or maybe could he managed it for one? But then, for how long will he be away? It couldn’t be that much, either…

He refocused just in time to catch his boyfriend frustrated pout, and he leaned in a bit almost by instinct, Silver bending immediately and letting him rub their noses together in his usual act of comfort. Unknowingly, Shadow seemed to relax slightly in Silvers hold, something that had and most likely will always have the younger one chirruping lowly under his breath in a very pleased manner and relaxing as well. The reason was a rather simple one, as straight as just saying that he treasured and could very well live for this kind of interactions with all of his loved ones and didn’t have any shame in saying or demonstrating so, unlike some others.

The ebony breath stuttered at the sounds, and for a second Silver though that he had fucked up immensely, but Shadow continued with the gentle caress, carefully looking into amber eyes before speaking. —I am…Not denying you, Silver. Not to say that this is not something to be upset about. I would be mad if I got angry because this. It is just, ah, you… helping me, I guess? It is, kind of nice of you. Thank you for your concern.

Well.

That was just lame. Fucking Chaos.

— Yes, Yes, Die of laughter, why wouldn’t you?

[kakashisavakening]

Chapter 10 - On Fire

Sorry for being so late with the new chapter - exam weeks have not been too kind to me so far. Hope this makes up for the wait 💕

Shikamaru slipped out of the booth, not wanting to get in the middle of the conversation that was about to happen between the kunoichi and the sensei. Kakashi didn't break eye contact with Sakura as he passed him by. Sakura was still heavily under the influence of the sake, but she was sober enough to know that in this state their conversation would not take the turns it would otherwise. Before she could insist that Shikamaru should stay, he paid for the sake and left the bar. 

"You should really have not told anyone about this... it could be used against us." - Kakashi said, his voice was deprived of emotions. He was the blank canvas he has always been... No matter how hard she looked, she couldn't find a hint for his emotions in his one free eye. But damn, he looked as fine as ever... No, Sakura, focus. Don't let the alcohol and his body derail you from your train of thought, shannaro.... Her pep talk to herself - of course - was of no real use. The warm summer wind blew heat into the small bar through the flaps on the door, but his gaze still sent chills down her spine.

"Nara would never..." - She began, but the words froze on her throat as he took a seat right beside her in the booth. His skin was cool to the touch, the anbu tattoo on his shoulder... it was the very first time she saw it from this close. He usually wore many layers of clothing (duh, he even wore two masks) so it was rarely visible. Before she could stop herself, her fingers began tracing the intricate curves of the tattoo. Her touch caught Kakashi off-guard and he turned to face her. 

"He might not, but he was not the only one with ears inside this facility." - Kakashi hissed in a hushed voice. - "It is not like you to be so irresponsible."

"Maybe I am tired of being the good girl everyone expects me to be." - Sakura mumbled and poured the last of the sake in a cup and threw it back. Kakashi pried the empty cup from her hand, and put it on the table. - "What do you want?" - The question has been on her mind since the man appeared at the table, and the new wave of alcohol finally gave her the courage to say it aloud. 

He wasn't sure. He came here to drink as well, but as soon as he noticed the pink haired ninja in one of the booths, talking with her comrade about their love lives, he was too fascinated to leave for some reason. Being away on missions has taken its toll on his body and mind alike. No matter how far he went, how much danger he had put himself in, every time he closed his eyes, her face would appear. Annoyingly distracting.... He could almost feel every mile he had put between himself and the girl. As for his body... It craved her. At first, he thought it craved sex. He had tried to fulfil his thirst, but as soon as a woman would start to undress, this wave... no, tsunami of sadness would wash over him.

"I want a drink, to start off... You are way ahead of me, and I haven't had the chance to loosen up in months." - He said as he waved at the waitress for a bottle of sake. 

"I didn't take you for a day-drinker." - She said, resting her head in her hand, leaning against the table.

"I could say the same.." - He poured the first cup for himself and drank the warm liquid. He wasn't as fond of the strong drinks, but he needed something that would let him slow his mind. Kakashi only intended to drink enough to calm his nerves, but as he drank one cup after another, he quickly found himself intoxicated. 

Sakura just watched as her sensei finished off the bottle, his Adam's apple dancing up and down with every swallow. The fabric of his mask gathered around his neck. She found herself fantacising about grabbing it and pulling him onto herself. She chased the image out of her mind and ordered another pitcher of water. As much as she craved the liquid courage to finally face the man she couldn’t get over, Sakura KNEW she needs to be sober for the conversation that was lingering, waiting to happen.

Lingering might be a light way to put it. It was more like a mountain, heavy on their shoulders.

“Kakashi...” - she began, twisting the glass of water around between her nervous fingers. - “I don’t think this is fading..”

“I know.” - He stared at the last of his sake.

“If anything, I think this is getting stronger.” - Sakura sighed. She remembered the dreams, where she saw the world with his eyes, where she would feel what he felt... and she was sure he had those too. This is why she felt so ashamed to return to his neighbourhood over and over... because she was sure he knew.

“Feels that way.” - he agreed. Still blank, still annoying. Sakura longed for the smallest of indications of what he thought of the situation.

She looked down at her hand, observing the little scar on her pinky. The glove on his hand hid his mark, but she knew it was there.

“Sakura...” - Kakashi had to gather all his courage to say what he planned to say to her once they met face to face again. - “I don’t want you like this.”

“What do you mean?”

“You are influenced by whatever this is. I don’t want you to come to me because of what this bond makes you feel...” - He sighed and waved for the waitress to ask for a new bottle of sake.

“That is the dumbest thing I’ve heard you say, sensei.” - Sakura couldn’t help herself but chuckle. - “Nobody forced me to agree to have this jutsu. Tsunade might have used some emotional terror, but she played on my feelings for you, mainly. She knew one of my biggest fears was losing you.”

Kakashi just sat and stared at the cup in his hand. He was aware of his attraction to the kunoichi for a while. Hell, he even discussed it with Genma before all this shit went down. Obviously, not for his input. Genma was a perv.... but he had to get it off of his chest. It got out of hand eventually, since Gai was within hearing distance when he had told genma and soon all his friends knew thanks to the pain-in-the-butt taijutsu master. Eventually even Tsunade caught onto his secret.

“I have watched you in awe ever since I was little. No matter how hard I tried to grow as a ninja, every time I acheved something I had to realise that the distance between us skillwise was too great.” - Sakura’s tone was bittersweet. Kakashi knew she longed for acknowledgement for her skills and wished she would one day stand on the same level as her team mates. He knew that despite how amazing of a ninja she grew up to be she was still deeply frustrated. - “I wanted you to notice me for my talents, to teach me like you taught Sasuke and then Naruto... but somehow you never found the time to give me some of your attention too... no much how I longed for it... It took me this experience to realise I craved for more than your expertise in the shinobi field.” - She gave him a suggestive look and just that glance of her emerald eyes brought up the memories of her on her knees before him...

“First of all, this is wildly inapropriate...” - that was more for himself, trying to free his mind from the tought with not much success. - “Second of all, have you ever considered that maybe.. just maybe I stayed away from one on one sessions with you for a reason?”

Hearing that, Sakura gained the reassurance her drunk brain needed to make the move she had replayed in her mind so many times since Kakashi began avoiding her; she grabbed the excess fabric around his neck that usually serves as his mask and pulled him in for a kiss. She knew that if Kakashi would want to dodge her attack, he could. With ease.

But he didn’t.

He let her soft lips touch his.

They parted their lips at the same time and their tongues began the dance they both craved since Kakashi has woken up. Sakura could still taste the sake, but she didn’t mind at all. Kakashi slowly let himself into the moment, as if it was a hot tub of water. At that moment, their bond caught on fire... but not to burn away. It was like the hot wind has soaked up their lust, mixed it and then wrapped them both in it. Kakashi couldn’t tell where his desire ended and the kunoichi’s began.

“This is not the place..” - he breathed between two kisses, slammed a handful of money on the table and pulled Sakura out of the bar.

[snarkyowl]

They Met In The Spring

A new au for your viewing pleasure. One of many to come. How the Host and the doctor met.

Doctor Edward F. Iplier was a well known doctor among both the merpeople and the humans. He was a man with a foot firmly planted in both worlds, and he was a fool. There was another, like him, who kept up the life of a merman and the life of a human. Both of them were never content with their lives because their choice to switch their identity so often left them too drained to enjoy what they did.

Both were doctors, and both had regrets.

Edward met a strange man on the beach one spring night, just after he’d finished forcing his tail into legs. The residual pain was still echoing aggressively through his joints when he heard a soft voice over the crashing of the waves, and it was a soft voice asking for help.

“The Host believes the man that has  just made his way out of the ocean is the man that will be able to help him.” The voice says, and Edward blinks at the appearance of the voice’s owner.

A man, dressed in a beige trench coat stands before him. His hair is pushed back, over his head and out of his face and among dark locks the merman spots a streak of gold. Blonde, perhaps, but in the moonlight it seems golden.

He’s immediately taken with the strange man with the bleeding eyes, and once he notices those he goes into a panicked doctoring mode. The man is lead to Edward’s home, sat on a chair, and the doctor goes to work.

The man, Host as he insists, is grateful for the doctor’s help. As he put it, the salty air and sand were agitating his injuries and he’d long since lost the supplies he needed to bandage and clean them.

Edward doesn’t know why he offers to let the man stay in his home, he just does. The man seems worried, mentions there isn’t a lot of space. Edward’s laugh is bitter as he shakes his head, turning to put his medical supplies away.

“I’m never home anyways, might as well put the thing to some good use.”

He doesn’t expect Host to reply, but then the man does.

“The Host would like to ask, if he’s able, why the doctor is not home?” “Well don’t you know?” Edward snorts, though it’s not accusing.

“I’m a doctor, not a homely man. I work and I work, and I have no time to sit at home and sew.” Oh, he does sound bitter now.

He clears his throat, shutting his kit with a satisfying snap.

“I keep myself too busy, so I’m never here.” He rephrases, and surprisingly Host looks unaffected by his bitterness.

They end up getting along remarkably well. Everytime Edward breaks off into bitter anger, Host patiently allows him to rant and ramble before implementing a calmer input that opens the doctor’s eyes to new solutions. The doctor couldn’t help Host quite in the same way, but he was quick to find the man’s eye loss wasn’t accidental. It was done by his own hands, and the tought sickens the doctor.

He learns a lot about the Host over the weeks they live together, and he is quick to learn how to provide Host with comfort. Contact is something the Host is picky about, he finds. Warn him first, never surprise him.

Another thing the doctor learned was that the Host knew the future. He understood the strange ability was much more complicated than that, but the limited understanding is enough to know the Host knows more than he lets on. At least he never says anything about what he’s seen, mostly.

He knows when Edward has lost a patient and provides quiet support, tea made perfectly and stories crafted straight from his mind. Edward finds himself often getting lost in those stories, waking up hours later still curled up to the man who always seems to be wearing his trench coat.

The strange man, Edward finds, is even stranger. He knows a lot about mermaids for someone who claims to  have never been in the ocean, and at first Edward feels Host is being careless. Then he realizes Host is helping him along. Host is leaving breadcrumbs on the trail to figuring him out, and Edward realizes alongside that realization he’s in love.

He panics, at first. A man who denies his life as a merman for one reason or another, someone who ripped his own eyes own for reasons he still refuses to tell Edward, someone who wormed his way into Edward’s heart so quickly and so deep the merman doesn’t know what to do.

Someone who disappeared in the dead of night, and didn’t come home.

Edward spent weeks searching under every rock for the mysterious Host, but his work eventually became his excuse for shutting himself in again. He’d been so close to feeling like a real person again, but he should have known.

He doesn’t deserve that, that happiness. He deserves to be cold and alone because that’s what he’s always made himself. He has an odd family he could go to, but he feels he would only be burdening them with his woes. So, instead, when he visits he smiles and gives biting sarcasm out in small doses. He plays normal, he plays perfect, because that’s what he needs to be.

He’s an actor and a doctor, you’ll come to find that doctors are very good actors while actors are not always good doctors.

It’s the spring when he finds the man again, and he finds him in a storm. Standing, alone, facing the ocean as mother nature causes chaos around him. Edward finds it poetic, but the man is gone by the time he has time to try and join him.

Edward doesn’t try searching for the mystery Host again this time, and when Host shows up he’s tempted to ward him off. Sweet words, a gentle touch, and Edward lets him in. He knows, deep down, he’s setting himself up for more pain.

Yet, as he wakes up with a warm body under his head, he can’t bring himself to regret that.

Maybe he just has a penchant for self destruction, but at least he can have fun and do good while he’s at it.

Host leaves after only a week this time, and Edward only cries for a few moments. He gathers himself up, and shoves himself into his work.

He doesn’t expect Host back by summer, but he there he is. This time he’s brought something with him, a picnic basket of all things. Edward wonders if he’s being manipulated into being a safehouse for a murderer, but as Host spins a tale of lands far away with golden hills he forgets his worries.

Host’s leaving and returning is sporadic and continues until one day Edward can’t take it anymore. He’s been alone too long, waiting and expecting and hoping. Right as he lets his hopes fall completely there Host is, smiling that sweet smile of his and using that honey-sweet voice to soothe the wounds.

Honey, Edward finds, is a temporary relief. When he hears the familiar knocking on his door one autumn night, he ignores it. The knocking continues late into the night, keeping him up and haunting him. He refuses to give in, though, and by morning it’s gone.

He thought he’d be satisfied with himself, proud maybe, but no. He’s upset, because he’s a fool, and he’s a fool in love.

Host finds him at the clinic, and simply asks for a checkup. They say nothing, and do nothing for the whole appointment. Finally, as Host goes to leave he turns back to the doctor with his head tilted to the side.

“The Host would like to come over to make the doctor dinner, would this be permissible?”

And goddamn him, there’s that voice again. The one Edward can’t ever deny, the voice that haunts all of his dreams and nightmares.

His voice cracks as he says yes, and he can’t bring himself to face Host even though the other can’t see the tears in his eyes. Why is he so pathetic?

Dark visits him, for once, the following week. The man, monochrome and glowing gently blue and red as he always does in his weaker human form, seems agitated. He enters the house uninvited and helps himself to a glass of water, but finally faces Edward with eyes the doctor is sure are made of ink and ice.

“You’re in love.” “I am.”

“You’re in love with the Host.” “I am.” “You know what he does?” “I do.” “What he is?” “I do.” Dark sighs at that, setting his glass down and shaking his head almost sadly. Edward knows from growing up with Dark, though, that his sadness is not sincere.

“He can’t love you, Edward.” “I know, Darkiplier. Wilford can’t love you either, but you seem set on keeping him with you.” It’s a low blow, harsh and so much more hurtful than anything Edward would say to anyone else.

Dark just brings out that side in people.

“Watch. Your. Mouth.” Dark snarls, and Edward can’t find the energy to flinch.

They both know, somewhere inside their hearts, that what they’re saying isn’t true. Wilford can love Dark, Host could love Edward. The only problem?

Host and Wilford were nothing special. Not really.

Host was a man set on obtaining his own goals, obsessed with keeping control over everything. Compliance was key, and when you didn’t do what he wanted you were punished. Edward was willing to comply, but everyone has their limits. Host could not be tied down because then he would be less in charge of his life, even if only slightly. Edward knew that now, knew why Host left and came as he pleased. He was establishing that Edward would not rule over what he did, no matter what. Host’s choices, Edward wouldn’t affect them.

Wilford was a man of chaos. A man not to be tied down, and Dark knew this well. Wilford and Dark had grown up together, and all that time Dark had longed for Wilford. Wilford was obliviousness embodied, however, and all he ever seemed to focus on was himself. He was self-centered, carrying an ego to rival that of Dark’s own.

Loving someone who means the world to you, yet to them you’re only something to come home to occasionally was a painful journey.

Yet Dark and Edward would still die should Wilford or Host were to ask them to.

Edward knew why Dark was really here like this. While the sadness in the shake of his head may not have been sincere, the meaning behind this meeting was. He didn’t want Edward to end up like him, but he knew he’d come too late.

He was here to offer comfort.

Edward and Dark spent the weekend out and about as brothers, and it was nice. The weather was perfect, and for once Dark was pleasant through his entire visit. They spent a lunch with Schneeplestein, discussing news from around the town with the other doctor.

Then, Dark left. Back to the ocean, and back to his own pain. Edward was left alone again, but he felt better. If only a little.

Host returned only a month later, one eye infected. Delirious with fever, his narrations turned Edward’s house to chaos. The doctor ran himself into the ground juggling caring for Host and caring for his patients at the clinic.

One day he wakes up and the Host is gone again. He’s not sure what all he breaks, but the glass is everywhere by the end of his outburst.

After making a few arrangements he spends the next six months underwater, the one place he know Host won’t follow.

He’s just emerged from the ocean and pulled his clothes on when he hears that familiar voice, narrating its way down the beach to him. He doesn’t have the strength to run, so he stands still as Host finds him.

A small smile, cheeks painted with blood spilled past the bandages.

“The Host has missed you, doctor.”

Liar. He wants to say. You always say that, yet you always leave anyways don’t you? He wants to yell. Instead he remains silent, jaw clenched. Host lets out a soft huff of amusement, leaning forward.

That day marks the first time Host has kissed him, on the lips, and it’s the same day Host leaves again.

He sees Host briefly in town one day, but he’s quick to bolt to the ocean. His only safe space. He can’t stay underwater forever, though, and he’s never regretted his double life more.

Host tries to kiss him again in the winter. “Mistletoe,” he says despite being blind, “it’s a custom.” Edward moves his head to the side and Host’s lips meet his cheeks. Host frowns, tilts his head to the side like he doesn’t understand the pain he’s caused.

Like he doesn’t know.

“The Host-” “I need to go.” Edward says it gently, but with enough urgency he hopes he can convince the man that knows seemingly everything something has happened.

He’s crushed between the rocks in the spring. His torso sways uselessly with the waves, bending him at an odd angle as he remains limp. He was too exhausted to move out of the way in time, and his tail now remains trapped under a pile of rocks. Edward doesn’t have it in him to try and move those to free himself, so he just lets himself bleed.

As the water around him turns red, a figure appears. Familiar and yet not at this angle, and for a while he’s confused. Then there’s green hair and a desperate germanic accent begging him to hang on, he’s almost free.

The colorful tail is another giveaway, once it swings into view. Vibrant blues and greens. So violently in your face it can’t not be Schneep.

Edward is stuck on land to heal, and Host has the nerve to visit him in the hospital. Edward’s empty stare doesn’t affect him as he settles into the seat by the bed, smiling politely before he speaks.

“The Host is the one who alerted Dr. Schneeplestein that you were stuck.” He informs, and he doesn’t sound smug.

Edward still wants to wring his neck, but instead he just idly murmurs his thanks. He’s on pain medication, and that’s his only excuse for why he asks what he does next.

“When are you leaving again?”

The atmosphere of the room turns icy immediately, and the tension feels cuttable. They lapse into silence so long, Edward is afraid Host has just vanished. Now he’s afraid to check, so he just waits. Finally, the Host stands. “The Host will be back later.” He says, and it’s the angriest he’s ever been with Edward.

Host was there when Edward is allowed home, explaining to confused staff he’s Edward’s boyfriend.

“Work keeps me busy.” He says, and again Edward wants to kill him. Instead, Edward remains silent in his wheelchair. Host pushes him inside with too much ease, knows the house too well, and then situates Edward in the living room.

“What would you like for dinner?”

Less pain both emotional and physical. He considers saying it allowed, to be an ass, but instead Edward takes a breath before answering, “I just want a peanut butter sandwich.”

Host’s face crumbles for a moment, just a moment, before he nods and gives that damned smile again. “One peanut butter sandwich.” He states, as though giving Edward another choice.

Edward only hums and falls asleep in his wheelchair no matter how uncomfortable it is.

Host stays until Edward can walk again, and Edward isn’t really shocked. What shocks him is when Host appears, bags in hand and sobbing about that had happened. He refuses to explain, but that day he moves in.

Host is unfairly good at finding his flaws, find the old wounds he had left. He tries to make up for it all, but some things Edwar just can’t forgive.

They fix it, though, together. Soon, Edward’s happy again. Host sees him down to the ocean, they share a goodbye, and Edward leaves to see his patients in the water. He’s the one leaving now, but he’s predictable so Host can’t really complain.

Things are rough at first, but Edward is content even so. He has what he’s always wished for, someone to love. Whether or not the Host loves him the same is hard to tell most times, but Edward likes to pretend that’s how it goes. They get closer and closer until one is rarely seen without the other save for Edward’s water trips.

Then, one day, Host proposes. Edward,of course, accepts. They marry in the spring, and Edward’s never been happier.

[horrorartist23]

Oh thats super interesting! Its awesome to know more about Raven and her family members❤

Finally, after a long existence into the void of my mind, I finally brought Raven's grandfather (a.k.a Papá) to life...in a drawing

He was Raven's grandfather when he was still alive. He's her mother's father, and the father-in-law of Raven's original father.

This man was a blessing from the sky. No matter what was thrown to him, no matter how bad people tried to do him wrong, he never got physically hostile, and rarely got himself in fights and arguments.

He wasn't wealthy but he still received a good ammount of money. Alone with his good nature, he used to be very naive. He was married to a woman which turned out to be a ' gold digger ', where she used him just for his money. He noticed his long mistake after Finally opening up his mind and realising that there was never love between them two.

When Raven's mother was growing, she adopted the same behaviour as her mother. Rude, apathetic, gas lighting, and no respect to anyone. Paul eventually divorced his wife, which she proceeded to completely abandon the existence of her own daughter, and he tried to raise his child the best way he could, but the damage was already done.

Even if he was kind, he wasn't stupid (not anymore), he could see the good and bad in the people he knew and met. He tried to keep his daughter away from messing up her own life, and telling her multiple times to be careful at what she does, but she wouldn't listen, leading to her meeting up with a man, doing the deed when she was just 19....and proceed to the existence of Raven.

The neighborhood they lived in was too nosey for him, so he decided to move to a different and more quiet neighborhood in a different village, restarting his life anew while he helped his daughter and future son-in-law to a new life for themselves. He wanted her to finally learn that actions have consequences, and offerd to help take care of his new grandchild when needed.

....as the story might be clear now, due to them becoming early parents cause of their lack of common sense they gave the fault to their new daughter saying that if she didn't exist their life could have been better, cue them feeling forced to take care of a child they carelessly created, not giving her any parental attention or love except when having to give her the vital needs such as nourishment and clothing. The rest, she was treated like a house plant. Give her what she needs, and leave her be.

Now Paul knew what was going on, and he wished he could have taken the whole matter in his hands. Unfortunately, a few years before Raven was born, he was unfortunately made aware of a terminal illness he had, and really couldn't do anything except having a chance to live for a few more years. He wished he would have adopted her, but he knew that once he was gone, she would have went back to her parents, and since no other family members existed, he could only visit them frequently, raise Raven the way he wished his daughter was raised, and be part of her life.

He feared for this little girl to turn for a bad rode, but since he constantly was in her life, she thankfully turned pretty much like him. Kind, generous, appreciative, and a curse to his kindness...Naive.

Raven wouldn't notice that her parents really didn't give a damn of her existence, but he was too glad to see her happy, and let her live in her own innocent and blissful ignorance.

When Raven was 6, his health unfortunately got worse. He had to ask her parents to bring her to his house more frequent, to avoid long travels, and didn't waste a single precious second with his beloved granddaughter. In her eyes, Paul was like a second dad to her, reason why she would call him ' Papá ', and in his, she was the daughter that he regretfully wishes he had.

A few months followed, and his health depleted. Raven somehow managed to go to his house by herself, but he didn't care... he knew his time was coming. It pained him to see Raven confused at why she wasn't gonna spend time with him anymore, still unaware at the concept of death. He gently and patiently explained to her that where he is going now, is not a place she can go to yet. After a few heartfelt " I love you" 's and " I will still look after you ", his soul slipped away from his body, leaving a scared, confused, and heartbroken Raven on his former body.

He watched everything happen, from the day he died, the day of his funeral, the success of her parent's jobs, the news of a new grandchild, the complete neglect of Raven while her baby sister got all the love and attention and the nice things in life, to the day they just left her at an orphanage like a used up object at a Sale shop, and the day Raven was free from her naiveness to realise the dark and sad truth on her life while she sat at a corner at an alleyway.

He wasn't there physically, but spiritually he followed after her every step in life, and he will do so until they get to meet again.