#It has also provided a comma

[rhythmicreverie]

In the heart of an ancient forest, where magic whispered through the trees, two brave friends faced a colossal task. The mystical mountain loomed before them, its summit shrouded in mystery and promise. Through enchanted glades and hidden realms, they journeyed, overcoming every obstacle with wit and courage. When they finally stood upon the mountain's peak, their hearts soared, for they had conquered the impossible. And thus, the friends became legends, their tale echoing through the ages. This is the summary of your work so far: - Created a Hardcore poem in under 100 words and in rich text with minimal formatting

[sandrabullockthehedgehog]

only offering my exclusive content (letter of recommendation) to my TOP TIER patrons (students who ask me before the deadline)

[elfwreck]

I have a friend who isn't anti-porn but it makes her sad that fanfic has a reputation for being porny and usually not very good. I'm fine with both those things and my views mostly align with that of AO3. I disagree with the idea that porn and badness are treated as equivalent, but for most people that's just how they think. But I was wondering if youve ever written something about this?

There is a lot of smut at AO3.

There is a lot of bad writing at AO3.

There's a lot of badly written smut at AO3.

...None of those are problems except for the people who think there is something wrong with those existing, or that there needs to be some external value that "balances" those that make those acceptable to exist as unwanted side-effects of "the good stuff."

The badly-written smut is also "the good stuff."

It's part of the reason AO3 exists. It's not intended to be an archive for "the high-quality fanfic that could be published if it weren't about characters that someone else wrote first"; it's an archive for "what fanfic writers want to write." That makes the terrible writing and the tacky porn and the badly-written tacky porn part of the reason the archive exists.

Tangent 1 (I'll connect these points later): Theodore Sturgeon said "90% of everything is crud." He was more-or-less referring to the science fiction field in the 50s, but it definitely extended to politics, business, and writing outside of science fiction.

...He was talking about published books in the 50s. Turns out, a lot more than 90% of writing is crud when there aren't any gatekeepers between it and the readers. But also:

Tangent 2, from the book "Art and Fear":

[A] ceramics teacher announced on opening day that he was dividing the class into two groups. All those on the left side of the studio, he said, would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right solely on its quality. His procedure was simple: on the final day of class he would bring in his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the “quantity” group: fifty pound of pots rated an “A”, forty pounds a “B”, and so on. Those being graded on “quality”, however, needed to produce only one pot — albeit a perfect one — to get an “A”. Well, came grading time and a curious fact emerged: the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity. It seems that while the “quantity” group was busily churning out piles of work – and learning from their mistakes — the “quality” group had sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay.

You don't get to "quality writing" without going through a lot of crappy writing.

That doesn't mean the crappy writing is garbage to be thrown out. If you make 50 pots or bowls or vases, and only one of them is The Good One... most of the rest are okay. Maybe not sale-quality good, but your-kitchen-table quality good. Maybe some aren't that good and are kids-toy-in-the-sandbox level good.

Bad writing has a purpose for the writer: they can use it as practice to get better. It has a purpose for the reader: It can serve as inspiration ("I can do better than that") or grammatical instruction ("that...does not work; why doesn't that work?") or just as entertainment ("eh, so it's missing a few commas; I can still understand it").

Smut and porn writing works the same way. It's of some value to the writer, and some to the readers.

It's not of value to everyone. That's what tags and filters are for, and why there's a summary and list of stats (like word counts)--so you can figure out if you're one of the readers for whom this piece of writing is useful or interesting.

But AO3, like any library, is not there to take the top 5% of Excellent Writing and provide it a showcase. It is absolutely for all 50 lbs of pots.

If your friend wants to read the good stuff, there are rec lists and collections to help her find it.

If she already manages that, and is just annoyed at how much of the not-good stuff (however she defines that) exists... she's picked the wrong battle. She's arguing with the ocean that it has too many kinds of fish and some are poisonous a lot of them are ugly.

[fairyhaos]

How To Fucking Write: a guide by fairyhaos

[masterlist]

this post details:

DIALOGUING INTERESTINGLY

hi gays and gals! the first post on starting and pacing a story did really well, so "how to fucking write" is back, with yet more advice and tips for everyone ^^ please feel free to let me know if there's something you want me talk about, because i'll be more than willing to see if i can help. also a reminder that i have a taglist for this series as well, and please reblog if you find this helpful :)

# - HOW TO DIALOGUE.

.. bullet point one : grammar

okay guys, as a native english speaker, i'll be the first to tell you that this language fucking sucks in terms of its grammar, but when it comes to dialogue, understanding how it works even to some extent will help you branch out and vary the way you write dialogue, which makes it so much more interesting.

with dialogue tags (said, asked, etc) if the punctuation mark in the dialogue is not a ! or ? then it should be a comma.

example : [junhui + castle]

as you can see in the first line, a comma is used rather than a full stop, because the sentence hasn't been finished yet. there's a dialogue tag, ('you correct'), that comes after it. and since the pronoun 'you' isn't a proper noun (i.e. a name) then it shouldn't be capitalised, because, again, the sentence hasn't been finished.

with action tags however, (he smiled, he stood up, etc) then it should be a full stop.

example : [i just made one up bc i don't use this a lot lmao]

"I disagree." He stood up, and walked over to close the door. "This isn't safe. You shouldn't go alone."

and now, since there is a full stop, it indicates that the speech is a sentence all by itself. that means the next word ('He') ought to be capitalised.

but the key part when grammar-ing dialogue in order to make it interesting depends on where you put the action and grammar tags.

if you constantly have lines that are just:

"dialogue," he said.

"dialogue," she said.

"dialogue but a bit longer," he said.

... then it can get repetitive, and annoying. by varying your dialogue structure, it can create more interesting dialogue.

example : [minghao + password]

there's a variety of dialogue and action tags being used with each line of dialogue, preventing everything from sounding too repetitive.

the first line starts with a normal sentence, and an action tag. the second is a standalone line of dialogue with no tags. the second has the action tag in the middle of the dialogue. and the last has a dialogue tag in the middle of the dialogue.

by varying the ways in which you write your dialogue, it makes everything a lot more interesting.

.. bullet point two : verbs and adverbs

the easiest way to make dialogue interesting, though, is to use fancy words.

this can be by replacing 'said' with a range of other dialogue tags (see this really comprehensive list for a whole variety of different words), but i'd advise against overusing these. 'said' is your friend! it's the invisible dialogue tag, helps your reader read through your dialogue in comfort, but of course, if you wanna add a nuanced way of describing the dialogue, then replacing 'said' is the easiest way to make your dialogue interesting.

but don't overuse these. for me, i'd focus on action tags and adverbs.

use interesting adverbs that add description to how a character is saying something can go miles. and using action tags that break through what could have been a long section of characters just talking? it helps so much.

i'd recommend having onelook thesaurus open as you write. you don't have to type in just words: phrases, the overall vibes of the word you're thinking of, all of that can be typed into the thesaurus and they'll provide you with pretty good results each time.

it also really helps when you've forgotten a word and can only remember vague bits of what the word should feel like.

.. bullet point three : voices

the best way, however, is ultimately to create a character. write a personality for them, bring them to life, think about the way in which they would talk and then put that down onto paper.

it's difficult, perhaps the most difficult to do, because it's also so tricky to advise someone on how to do this. it's all about the character you want to create, the personality you envision for them, and the only person who can fully write that is you.

however, i would find a few 'ticks' of theirs and use them as indicators in your writing.

for example, in my seoksoo long fic, seokmin's tick is that he always "chirps" what he's saying. and beams. a lot. this identifies his character, makes him unique(ish), and establishes his personality and differs him to the other characters.

but ultimately, it comes down to word choices, when you're writing a character voice.

like, your character describing something with elegant, floral language vs them going "this is so pretty". or perhaps making them stumble over their words when they're panicked vs them simply just going silent when they're flustered.

it's about being specific. about making choices with your words that would have english teachers analyse and unpick your writing, hundreds of years later.

(even if it's fanfic. especially if it's fanfic: because who knows how many fans may join your fandom in the next few years?)

... and that's it ! if anyone has anything else they want advice on (how to structure, how to write dialogue, how to plan etc) then just shoot me an ask, because i'd love to help however i can :)

tagging (comment/send ask to be added!): @selenicives @stqrrgirle @weird-bookworm @eternalgyu @blue-jisungs (tough luck guys btw but youre gonna be tagged in this entire series ehehehe)

[snarp]

Official version of the final cutscene:

Lord brother. I'm going to be a god. If we honour our part of the vow, promise me you'll be my consort. I'll make the world a gentler place.

Unlike the Remembrance, the content of the Japanese text isn't significantly different this time, but the tone has again been stripped out. My translation:

Nii-sama I'll definitely - definitely become a god, so - so if we honor our part of the vow, please become my king. …I just… want to make the world kind.

Explanation:

兄様 Nii-sama

When Miquella says "Lord Brother," this is always what they're saying. It's also what Malenia calls Miquella when she apologizes for losing.*

私は必ず、神になります I'll definitely - definitely become a god,

The comma is there to show hesitation, and the "definitely" ("kanarazu" / 必ず) is defensive: Miquella is defending their ability and/or willingness to become a god. With the sentence structure of a panicking child promising an angry parent they'll clean up after the puppy.

ですから、私たちが約束を守れたら So - so if we honor our part of the vow,

Again, the comma's there to show hesitation or stuttering. The connective "so" ("desu kara"/ですから) is characteristic of a nervous person trying to bargain.

(There's no indication of who else or how many people "we" includes.)

私の王になってください please become my king.

They don't say "promise" - too aggressive.

…世界を、優しくしたいのです …I just... want to make the world kind.

They do not say "kinder", and they do not say "will": this isn't a promise, but a justification. As with everything else here, it sounds hesitant and conciliatory.**

The implication of this scene - the defensiveness, the promises, the honorific language, and the fact that Miquella is kneeling - is that Miquella has been apologizing to Radahn for some failure. Most likely, Radahn accused Miquella of being unable or unwilling to become a god, and so of failing to hold up "their" half of the vow, and Miquella is trying to reassure him.

From an emotional standpoint, I think it's pretty obvious what this is supposed to tell us about Miquella's motivations.

"What did Radahn want from Miquella?" is the question being asked here. Freyja asked it at the beginning, and the final cut-scene asks it again, to remind us that we still don't know the answer.

And from a plot standpoint, it tells us this: Radahn's half of the bargain is "marry Miquella and so become Elden Lord". So - by definition - that cannot be what Radahn asked Miquella for.

And whatever Radahn's half is, he wants it first. And, apparently, Miquella provided it - immediately before the final battle, with assistance from Malenia and the Tarnished.

"Figure it out!" says FromSoft. "Tee-hee-hee."

---

* On losing, Malenia says:

"…Aa, nii-sama …Aa, nii-sama, nii-sama. I'm sorry… Malenia lost…"

Referring to yourself in the third person is basically baby talk. As with Miquella, a lot of Malenia's Japanese-language dialog sounds childish. There's currently no way to know for sure if she was always like that, or if it's part of her post-Caelid mental deterioration… but Millicent talks like an adult.

(Malenia is saying "nii-sama" in "My brother will keep his promise", too - but there, she seems to be half-asleep and mumbling, and can't remember the kanji for "sama".)

** The way Japanese verb endings work, it's easy to accidentally land on a "no desu" (のです) like Miquella does here when you blurt something out carelessly, start regretting it before you end the sentence, and want to make it more polite. In "professional Japanese" classes, you get a lot of reminders not to end sentences that way because it sounds "weak," "pitiful," or "like you're always apologizing."

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Some Editorial Vocabulary

definitions of terms during the writing, editing and publishing process

Acknowledgements: Text in which the author thanks those who’ve supported them.

Action beat: Short description that comes before, between or just after dialogue.

Adjective: A word that describes a noun.

Adverb: A word that describes a verb.

Adverbial phrase: A group of words that describe a verb.

Afterword: A concluding section, often reflecting on the book’s creation or providing additional context.

Anaphora: The deliberate repetition of words or phrases at the beginning of successive clauses for artistic effect.

Antagonist: An adversary. The character who creates obstacles and challenges for the protagonist, or behaves in a hostile fashion towards the protagonist.

Anti-protagonist: A protagonist whose own actions create opposition and conflict, often within themselves or against their own goals.

Apostrophe: A punctuation mark used to indicate possession, omission and, occasionally, a plural.

Appendix: Space in a book for material that doesn’t fit comfortably in the main text.

Asyndeton: Literary device through which a sentence’s structure follows the following pattern: A, B, C.

B-C

Back matter: Also end matter. Elements reserved for the back of a book, including appendix, glossary, endnotes, bibliography and index.

Beta reader: Test-reader who provides feedback on book.

Bibliography: List of all works cited in book, and any other work of interest to the reader.

Chapter drop: The space above and below the chapter title.

Character arc: Narrative that shows how a character changes and develops.

Characterization: The process of revealing a character's personality, traits and motives through actions and dialogue.

Colon: Punctuation mark that introduces additional/qualifying information about the clause it follows.

Comma splice: Two independent clauses joined by a comma rather than a conjunction or an alternative punctuation mark.

Conjunction: A word that connects clauses or sentences (e.g. ‘and’, ‘but’, ‘if’, ‘then’)

Copyediting: A review of grammar, punctuation, and spelling, ensuring consistency and accuracy in the manuscript's language.

Critique: Also manuscript evaluation. Report analysing a book’s strengths and weaknesses.

D

Denouement: The final part of the book in which all the plot strands are brought together and resolved.

Deuteragonist: A sidekick or confidante character who has the most influence on the protagonist, often helping them solve problems and overcome obstacles. Can be critical to driving the plot.

Developmental editing: Also structural editing. The improvement of a manuscript's structure, content, and overall narrative, focusing on big-picture elements. Attends to plot, characterisation, narration and pacing.

Dialogue tag: Also speech tag. Words that indicate which character is speaking (e.g. John said).

Dialogue: The lines characters speak in a book.

Diversity reader: Also sensitivity reader. Test-reader who checks for misrepresentation in books.

Double-page spread: Also DPS. The view of a printed book or PDF when opened so that the left- and right-hand pages are both visible.

Drama: The conflicts, emotional intensity, and impactful events that drive the plot and engage readers emotionally. The focus is on character relationships, motivations, and the consequences of their actions.

Dropped capital: Decorative first letter of the first word on the first line in a chapter. Larger than the rest of the text and drops down two lines or more.

E-F

Ellipsis: Punctuation mark that indicates a trailing-off or a pause.

End matter: Also back matter. Elements reserved for the back of a book, including appendix, glossary, endnotes, bibliography and index.

Endnote: Additional useful information at the end of a chapter or book.

Filter word: Verb that tells rather than shows (e.g. ‘noticed’, ‘seemed’, ‘spotted’, ‘saw’).

Folio: Somewhat old-fashioned term for page number. Also used to refer to a page.

Footnote: Additional useful information at the bottom of a page.

Foreword: A recommendation of the work written by someone other than the author.

Fourth wall: In books, the conceptual space between the characters and the readers.

Free indirect speech: Also free indirect style and free indirect discourse. Third-person narrative that holds the essence of first person thought or dialogue.

Front matter: Also prelims. Includes part title and title pages, foreword, preface and acknowledgements.

Full point: Period or full stop.

Full stop: Period or full point.

G-L

Glossary: Alphabetical list of important terms with explanations or definitions.

Habitual past tense: Uses ‘would’ or ‘used to’ with a verb to indicate events that happened routinely in a time past.

Half-title page: The first page of a book with any text on it; in a printed book, always a right-hand page. Contains only the main title of the book.

Head-hopping: Jumping from one character’s thoughts and internal experiences to another’s. Indicates viewpoint has been dropped.

Imprint: Publisher’s name.

Independent clause: A group of words that contains a subject and a predicate.

Index: Alphabetical list of all topics, themes, key terms and cited author names covered in the book, and the corresponding page numbers.

Information dump: Also word dump. Information that’s necessary to the story but isn’t artfully delivered, or weaved creatively into the narrative and dialogue.

Line editing: Also stylistic editing. The refining of a manuscript's language, focusing on consistency, clarity, flow and style at sentence level.

M-O

Maid-and-butler dialogue: Dialogue in which one character tells another something they already know so the reader can access backstory.

Manuscript evaluation: Also critique. Report analysing a book’s strengths and weaknesses.

Narrative arc: Also story arc. The structure and shape of a story.

Narrative authenticity: The believability and truthfulness of a story so that the characters and events feel real within the framework of the novel’s world.

Narrative distance: Also psychic distance. How close the reader feels to a character’s thoughts, emotions and experiences within a story.

Narrative: Story. The part of the book that’s narrated, excluding the dialogue.

Narrative style: The author's unique manner of storytelling, encompassing language, tone, viewpoint and other structural choices.

Narrative voice: The style, tone, and personality through which a narrator or character tells a story to readers.

Numerals, Arabic: 1, 2, 3 etc.

Numerals, Roman: i, ii, iii etc.

Omniscient: All-knowing. Refers to a viewpoint style in fiction writing.

Overwriting: Using too many words on the page. Often characterized by repetition and redundancy.

P

Page proofs: A file that’s reached a stage in the publishing process where the text and images of a manuscript have been laid out in their final format.

Pantser: A writer who doesn’t outline or plan story structure, but flies by the seat of their pants.

Period: Full stop or full point.

Perspective character: Also viewpoint character. The character through whose eyes the story is primarily told. The narrative lens through which readers experience events, thoughts, and emotions within the story.

Plot: The sequence of events in a novel.

Point of view: Also viewpoint and POV. Describes whose head we’re in when we read a book, or whose perspective we experience the story from.

Polysyndeton: Literary device through which a sentence’s structure follows the following pattern: A and B and C.

Predicate: The part of a sentence that contains a verb and that tells us something about what the subject’s doing or what they are.

Preface: An explanation of the purpose, scope and content of a book, and written by the author.

Prelims: Also front matter. Includes part title and title pages, foreword, preface and acknowledgements.

Pronoun: A word that replaces a noun (e.g. I, you, he, she, we, me, it, this, that, them those, myself, who, whom). Pronouns can act and be acted upon like any noun.

Proofreading: The final pre-publication quality-control stage of editing where any final literal errors and layout problems are flagged up. Comes after developmental editing, stylistic line editing and copyediting.

Proper noun: A named person, place or organization. Always takes an initial capital letter.

Protagonist: The leading character in a novel, often facing central conflicts and driving action.

Psychic distance: Also narrative distance. How close the reader feels to a character’s thoughts, emotions and experiences within a story.

Purple prose: Overblown, poorly structured writing with strings of extraneous and often multisyllabic adjectives and adverbs.

Q-R

Quotation mark: Also speech mark. Punctuation that indicates the spoken word. Singles or doubles are acceptable.

Recto: The right-hand page of a book.

References: List of all the works cited in your book.

Roman typeface: Not italic.

Running head: Text that runs across the top of a page (e.g. title of the book, chapter title, author’s name).

S

Scene: a distinct segment or building block where specific actions and events unfold in a setting.

Scene technique: The use of dialogue, action, setting, and tension to craft compelling moments in the story.

Semi-colon: A punctuation mark that indicates a stronger pause than a comma between two main clauses.

Sensitivity reader: Also diversity reader. Test-reader who checks for misrepresentation in books.

Speech mark: Also quotation mark. Punctuation that indicates the spoken word. Singles or doubles are acceptable.

Speech tag: Also dialogue tag. Words that indicate which character is speaking (e.g. John said).

Story arc: Also narrative arc. The structure and shape of a story.

Structural editing: Also developmental editing. The improvement of a manuscript's structure, content, and overall narrative, focusing on big-picture elements. Attends to plot, characterisation, narration and pacing.

Style sheet: In which an author or editor records stylistic and language preferences, and tracks who’s who, what’s where, and when X, Y and Z happens.

Stylistic editing: Also line editing. The refining of a manuscript's language, focusing on consistency, clarity, flow and style at sentence level.

Subject: The thing in a sentence that’s doing or being something.

Subplot: A secondary storyline that supports and enhances the main plot of a narrative.

Suspense: The tension, uncertainty and anticipation created by withholding information, raising stakes or placing characters in imminent danger. Readers are kept guessing or forced to ask questions.

Syndeton: Literary device through which a sentence’s structure follows the following pattern: A, B and C (or A, B, and C).

T

Talking-heads syndrome: Dialogue that isn’t grounded in the environment or the characters’ responses to that environment.

Tense: The form a verb takes to indicate when an action happened in relation to the telling of it.

Tension: The emotional strain or suspense created by unresolved conflicts, stakes or uncertainties that keep readers engaged.

Tertiary character: A functional character who gives the story realism and depth, but doesn’t significantly impact on or influence the plot or the development of the other characters.

Theme: The novel’s central idea or message about life, society, or human nature.

Title page: Includes full title (and subtitle if there is one), author’s name, publisher’s name, logo, volume number, and edition.

Transgressor: A character who commits morally, socially, or legally questionable acts.

Tritagonist: Third most important character, who often provide regular emotional or physical support, but don’t determine how the story develops.

U-W

Unreliable dialogue: Dialogue that doesn’t match a character’s true voice, mood or intent.

Unreliable narrator: A character whose telling of the story cannot be taken at face value. They may be naïve, confused, or deliberately manipulative.

Verb, intransitive: A verb that doesn’t have a direct object (e.g. ‘I giggled’).

Verb, transitive: A verb that has a direct object (e.g. ‘wrote’ in ‘I wrote a book’).

Verb: A word that describes doing. Can refer to a physical action (e.g. to dig), a mental action (e.g. to wonder) or a state of being (e.g. to be).

Verso: The left-hand page of a book.

Viewpoint: Also point of view or POV. Describes whose head we’re in when we read a book.

Viewpoint character: Also perspective character. The character through whose eyes the story is primarily told, and the narrative lens through which readers experience events, thoughts, and emotions within the story.

Vocative: The form of address for a character directly referred to in dialogue.

Word dump: Also information dump. Information that’s necessary to the story but isn’t artfully delivered, or weaved creatively into the narrative and dialogue.

Source More: On Editing ⚜ Word Lists

[lady-pug]

Anything For You

Summary: 5 times Crosshair protects you and 1 time you do the same for him.

Pairing: Crosshair x Reader

Word count: 5k

Warnings: canon-typical violence, one dude being kinda creepy at 79's

Notes: Hello hello everyone! It's been a hot minute since this series has seen an update, but after season 3 I had some inspiration (I know it has been a while since season 3 actually come out, but some things had happened that needed my sole attention, I didn’t have the time nor the energy and motivation to write for quite a while). But now I’m back!

I really hope you, dear reader, enjoy this and have fun while reading it. If you spot any mistakes, please feel free to warn me and I'll correct it right away, and feedback is always welcome and appreciated. I hope you truly enjoy this story.

Reader is female, but no physical descriptions provided. Also, when describing the formal attire in topic 3 I tried to keep descriptions to a minimum so you can imagine what the reader is wearing in this scene (I’m a sucker for women in suits, but it’s up to you to imagine)

Next part | Previous part | Masterlist | Read on AO3

1.

The Batch’s mission on Taanab had gone south very quickly. The Separatists had aimed to cut the commercial lines the planet held with Coruscant, which would pose a major problem as it could possibly throw the entire Republic into starvation. So Clone Force 99 had been sent to scout the planet and possibly find Separatists spies stationed there. What they didn’t count on was being ambushed by Norulac pirates almost as soon as they tried to leave the planet.

Tech and Hunter had gone inside a facility suspected of housing the spies they were looking for, while Wrecker kept watch by the entrance, and you and Crosshair covered their shebs from a hill a few klicks away. What you didn’t expect was for Tech to take a major hit as soon as they walked out the door with the spy. In order not to compromise the mission, Wrecker pushed the cuffed nautolan back inside the compound and closed the doors behind them. 

As soon as the first blaster bolt was fired, you leaped to your feet, much to Crosshair’s protests, and started running towards Tech, medkit clutched tightly under your arm. Crosshair, ever the marksman, kept shooting his Firepunch, trying to get rid of as many pirates while you pushed forward. As you approached the place where Tech had gone down you skidded to a halt, keeping your head down as to avoid the blaster fire. Slipping your hand under his armpits you dragged him across the pebbled ground (and mentally apologized for any scratches he might find on his backplate later on), taking cover behind a short wall and starting to patch him up.

What you didn’t notice, however, was the pirate approaching from behind you and Tech while you assessed his injuries, who must have either slipped unnoticed by Wrecker and Hunter or come up all the way from behind the facility. You only seemed to notice him once Tech, coming back to his senses after a stim shot, pointed over your shoulder and told you to look out. By then it was already too late, as the pirate had his vibroblade raised and ready to strike.

As you fumbled with your blaster to at least try and protect the two of you a long blaster bolt came scorching through the air, hitting the man right on his temple and sending him tumbling sideways, dead. You glanced back towards the hill you had just climbed down from, sending a nod in Crosshair’s general direction, knowing he could see you with his scope.

“Thanks for having my back, Cross.” you spoke into your commlink before resuming your work on Tech’s wound, barely catching Crosshair’s reply.

“Anything for you, Copikla.” he mumbled, going back to firing his rifle in order to help his brothers take out the remaining pirates.

2.

The woman was definitely moving too fast for someone who allegedly had nothing to hide. And Clone Force 99 was hellsbent (more like ordered to) figure out why.

Your current mission, issued by Commander Fox of all people, albeit a stealth mission of sorts, wasn’t like anything you had ever done before. A Gran representative of Malastare, acting as a temporary substitute for Senator Ainlee Teem while the senator went back to his home planet to help calm the nerves and appease the public opinion of the citizens of Malastare about the rampage caused by the Zillo Beast, was suspected to be working for the Separatists. Afraid that an investigation lead directly by the Coruscant Guard would be too on the nose and she might try to cover her tracks, Commander Fox had surprisingly, as him and the Batch often didn't see eye to eye, requested that the Bad Batch be the ones to follow her around and figure out her intentions.

So here you and Crosshair were, following the woman a few paces behind her all throughout Coruscant busy streets. The plan of action had been to split up, Hunter and Wrecker taking the two parallel streets to the one where the woman was currently speed-walking while you and Crosshair followed behind her. Tech had stayed behind at the Guard’s headquarters, tracking the woman’s movements using the surveillance system. 

As the teams were being separated Crosshair had demanded that you go with him (although ‘demand’ might be too strong of a word, as he knew Hunter, as his commanding officer, could very well tell him to shut up and take a step back, which he thankfully didn’t), internally reasoning with himself that you could very well get lost and compromise the mission, even though the knowing smirk the Sergeant had sent his way after agreeing with his suggestion told him he might have other reasons. And now he was glad he insisted on that.

As dusk fell over the city and rush hour approached, more and more people filled the streets eager to head home. This didn’t pose a problem for Crosshair as his height, greater than that of the regs (and quite greater than Hunter’s, as he often liked to tease his vod about) paired with his extraordinary eyesight allowed him to keep his eyes on the Gran woman at all times. You on the other hand weren’t so lucky, as people bumped into you and tried to squeeze their way past the both of you. Concerned you’d slip away, dragged by the sea of people, he snaked his arm around your waist, his hand lazily draped over your hip, keeping you close to his side and not letting you venture away from him.

You looked up at him, a tiny grin gracing your features.

“Thanks Cross.”

The only response you got was his grip on your hip. tightening almost imperceptibly.

3. 

“I don’t like it.” 

Hunter sighed for the umpteenth time in the past hour.

“I already told you, these are our orders.” he turned towards his brother, who scowled in return.

“Why can’t one of us go in?”

“As a matter of fact, that option has been brought up to Commander Cody,” Tech chimed in, not once taking his eyes off his holopad “but he has reminded us of a crucial fact: no matter how much our phenotype might differ from that of the regs, we’re still clones. If a single slightly more enlightened individual in that ballroom catches sight of our resemblance to our mandalorian progenitor, the mission would be compromised.”

Crosshair huffed, still not convinced.

“But why does it have to be her?” he argued “Why couldn’t they have brought another natborn specialist? Or, kriff, even a senator? Senators are good at these sorts of events.”

“Senators are public figures, they would be recognized in an instant.” Hunter promptly answered “And all other female natborns were unavailable.”

“And the Seppie likes pretty women!” Wrecker laughed “I mean who doesn’t? I’m sure none of us would be able to seduce him!”

“I still don’t like it.” unsatisfied, Crosshair picked up his Firepuncher to check the scope, even though he knew for a fact it was pristine as always. 

A beneficent gala was being held by the InterGalactic Banking Clan to members of the Confederacy of Independent Systems council in Cantonica. One Separatist senator, a sleazy old quacta of a man, was rumored to have information on the next course of action regarding a siege against Republic forces in Ansion. So, given the sensitivity of the mission ahead, Clone Force 99 was called in. However, none of them could go in without the risk of being recognized as members of the GAR, so they had to send in-

“How do I look?” he was buried so deep in his own thoughts he didn’t even hear the door to the fresher opening and you stepping out into the hull of the ship. As he looked up to glance at you, he thanked the maker he was already sitting down, otherwise his knees would have buckled and he would have been sent tumbling down.

You looked gorgeous. 

Your hair was styled in a completely different style than you normally wore it, a few delicate pins adorning it. Some light makeup covered your face, accentuating your natural beauty. And your outfit… Crosshair had only seen you in your uniform and armor in the battlefield, or in your GAR-issued blacks around the ship. He had never seen you wearing anything like this, so formal and fitting for your exact frame.

He couldn’t even speak. He just kept staring at you, his eyes moving up and down your frame.

“You look beautiful, baar’ur’ika!” Wrecker’s booming voice brought him out of his stupor, as he shook his head.

“You really think so?” you asked, feeling a little shy “I never usually wear something so nice, this is a bit out of my comfort zone.”

“You look amazing Doc.” Hunter chimed in, nudging his brother with his elbow, his lips pulled in a knowing smirk “Doesn’t she, Crosshair?”

He was still collecting his thoughts when you turned to face him, eyes gleaming with… hope? 

“Yeah,” he dared answer “yes, she does.”

You beamed at him, smiling so brightly he felt his heart skip a beat for being the reason for your happiness. He wasn’t even bothered when he heard Hunter chuckling under his breath, no doubt catching on his vod’s reaction to your presence. 

As your squad started diskimbarking to start the mission, Crosshair reached out to hold you in place, his fingers gently encircling your wrist, leaving just the two of you still on the ship.

“If-” he swallowed thickly, not knowing how to say what he was thinking. 

“What is it, Cross?” you turned towards him, giving him your full attention.

“I’ll be keeping watch on the roof the entire time.” he breathed out “If anything happens, if at any moment you feel like you might be in danger, comm me. I’ll find a way to get you out, Copikla.”

You smiled softly at him, turning your palm up and intertwining your fingers.

“I’ll be fine, Cross. Really. You don’t have to worry about me.” Impossible, he thought, and as if reading his mind you squeezed his hand gently “But thank you for keeping an eye out for me.”

He squeezed your hand back, lips turning up in the tiniest of smiles.

And if at a certain point during the gala, a glass of wine carefully balanced on a tray on a waiters hand spontaneously exploded, startling the waiter and making him drop the entire contents of the tray over the separatist senator as he started getting handsy with you, Hunter’s scolding for nearly compromising the mission was definitely worth it as you giggled at his antics behind the sergeants back.

4.

79’s was certainly more packed than usual for a standard Taungsday. It seemed like most battalions were on leave at once, hence the more chaotic atmosphere and the crowd forming around the bar. 

It had been forever since Clone Force 99 had shore leave scheduled on Coruscant instead of being called back to Kamino, so you intended to make the most of it. Wrecker was already a few drinks in, arm wrestling some of the boys of the 212th; Echo was catching up with some of the boys in blue, having spend so much time away from his old battalion; Tech had already gone back to the barracks to read some articles on his holopad, the weird neon green cocktail he had order right at the beginning of the night only half empty and long forgotten; and Hunter had already scurried off with a gorgeous orange Twi’lek. 

Only you and Crosshair remained at the table, chatting idly, your thigh pressed against the side of his and his arm slung over the back of the seat behind you. Your heads were tilted close together in order to hear each other over the beat of the music in the club. For a moment Crosshair thought it felt weirdly… intimate, even though you weren’t actually doing anything. He’d never been this close to anyone, where he felt he could just let himself be. It was nice.

“I’m going to get another drink.” you whispered-yelled at him at one point, gesturing at his own cup “Want anything?”

He pondered for a moment, before declining with a shake of his head.

“Someone has to keep a clear head in order to babysit the lot of you.” he motioned to where Wrecker, clearly a little more than tipsy, was celebrating another victory over a shiny.

You snorted, before quickly turning around and walking towards the bar. He couldn’t help but silently watch over you, always keeping you in his line of sight.

It had become second nature to him, watching you. At first he tried to argue that it was only to ensure you didn’t do anything stupid and risk one of his brothers, but it slowly ended up becoming something he just did naturally. He wanted, no, needed, to ensure you were safe at all times, and not just on the battlefield.

As he watched you lean over the bar and signal the bartender, your back turned to him, he noticed a devarionian man quickly glance over at you from a few seats away. For a few moments nothing happened, he kept his eyes trained on you, occasionally catching sight of the devarionian from the corner of his eye. 

And then the guy was moving.

He slid up next to you, standing way too close for your (and Crosshair’s comfort). The mirror above the shelfs in the bar let him see your face,  and you did not seem too happy with your new company. At first you tried ignoring the man, he noticed, giving him very clipped answers and only nodding along. The guy, it seemed, couldn’t seem to take a hint, as he kept rambling on and on about something the sniper couldn’t bother reading his lips for. And the moment his hand brushed against your arm, startling you and prompting you to take a step away from the man with ‘uncomfortable’ and ‘creeped out’ written all over your face, Crosshair was out of his seat and crossing the dancefloor towards you in quick strides.

Once he approached the pair of you, you noticed him over the man’s shoulder, your face relaxing slightly at the sight of him.

“Is everything all right?” he asked, to which the devarionian turned to him seemingly undisturbed. 

“Yeah, me and the lady over here were having a wonderful chat.” the devarionian dismissed him “ Now if you’ll excuse us.” 

Crosshair knew he was tall. He, along with Tech, was the second tallest amongst all clones, shorter only than Wrecker. It wasn’t something he usually cared for, unless when he got to tease Hunter about his own height, which was shorter than the regs, but he knew for a fact he was taller than most people. So he decided to use this to his advantage. As his face contorted into the deepest scowl he could muster, he crossed his arms over his chest, squaring his shoulders. This meant he was absolutely towering over the man. He didn’t even have to say anything and the devarionian was already cowering.

“A-actually, I think my buddy over there is calling me over.” and he rushed off without even looking at you again.

You looked at Crosshair as he relaxed, a mixture of gratitude and a sense of residual unease written in your face.

“Thanks Cross,” you started “but I could’ve handled him. You know I can take care of myself.” 

“Trust me, Copikla, I know.” he shrugged “But you shouldn’t have to.” 

Your face softened at his words, and you leaned your head against his arm. 

“Thank you anyway.” 

His response came in the form of a wordless hum, but which carried a whole lot of meaning to it.

‘Always’.

5.

Crosshair absolutely hated keeping watch. He would take Wrecker’s snoring and Tech’s endless tinkering over this any day. They were in hyperspace, for maker’s sake! What threat could be so dire that one of them had to stay awake and alert for hours, freezing cold as Tech refused to fix the cockpit’s heating system?

But Hunter insisted. And as their sergeant, Hunter was in charge and whatever he said goes. And so here Crosshair was, watching nothing go by bored out of his mind.

All of a sudden he heard the soft pattern of bare feet against the cold floor of the Marauder, approaching the cockpit. It couldn’t possibly be Wrecker, he could still hear his snoring from all the away from the bunks. It wasn’t Echo either, as the clanking of his mechanical legs against the durasteel floor would have given him away. It probably wasn’t Hunter, as the man was an incredibly deep sleeper, his slumber being one of the only one moments his heightened senses gave him a break. And Tech wasn’t supposed to come relieve him from watch duty for at least three more hours or so. So that left only you.

Because of this line of thought he was unsurprised when you joined him in the cockpit, dropping onto the co-pilot seat next to him.

For a moment neither of you uttered a word. He stayed silent as he took you in, noticing the way your shoulders trembled slightly and the soft sniffles you were trying to contain.

“What’s wrong?” he asked at last.

You startled, as if only now noticing his presence next to you. Once you calmed down you simply shrugged in response.

“Nightmare, ‘s all.” your voice wavered a tiny bit, but it was enough for him to notice.

Silence permeated the room once more as he thought about the situation. You clearly seemed shaken by whatever was plaguing your mind when sleeping, yet he didn’t really know how to help. He wasn’t the best with words, Hunter and even Wrecker were way better than him when it came to comforting people.

But then he paused. Thinking about Hunter reminded him of something his older brother would do whenever one of them had nightmares as cadets.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

As a kid Crosshair never took Hunter up on his offer to listen, but he would still sit with him in silence and let him wind down after the dream. Wrecker on the other hand often rambled about what had scared him and Hunter always found a solution for him. Tech often kept to himself, never mentioning when he had nightmares of his own, but he knew Hunter had his back should he ever wish to talk.

You chuckled, though it was humorless and heavy.

“You know I have worked with other clones, right?” he nodded, remembering the medical base you used to work at before joining Clone Force 99 as their field medic “I had a lot of patients there. Most we were able to treat, but… we lost a lot of them as well.” 

He could only imagine the kind of toll that took on someone.

“And it’s like they weren’t even people!” you whispered, frustrated tears collecting in your eyes “There wasn’t any family we could contact to deliver the bad news, at best one of his batchmates or another brother from the same battalion. But in the end it was just… crossing numbers out of a spreadsheet.” 

You took a deep breath in order to collect your thoughts.

“I see them when I fall asleep sometimes.” you smiled, but it was a sad smile, one that Crosshair didn’t think suited you at all “The ones I could save.” 

Crosshair didn’t know what to say to that. How much death had you witnessed before you met the Bad Batch? Before you met him? You had your own demons haunting you, and it served to show him that them, the soldiers fighting this war, weren’t the only ones affected by it.

“Come here.” he extended a hand to you.

“What?” you looked at him, confused.

He repeated himself, and when you stood up and stopped in front of him he gently grabbed your wrist and pulled you onto his lap, maneuvering you so your head was resting against his shoulder, your ear right above his heart.

“It’s not your fault.” he spoke into your hair “You cannot save everyone. All you can do is try.”

“What happens if I’m not able to save one of you?” he heard the terror in your voice and he couldn’t stand it.

“I won’t let that happen.”

“Cross…”

“I won’t.” he affirmed firmly “I watch over you so you can watch over us. Always.”

He could feel the tension in your body vanishing, as a comforting silence enveloped the both of you. Slowly, as your breathing slowed down and you fell back asleep, he tightened his grip on you, keeping you close to him. And you slept soundly and peacefully through the night, with Crosshair keeping guard of your dreams. 

+1 

Another mission, another success. Clone Force 99 was ordered to infiltrate a Separatist base on Agamar and retrieve some sensitive information regarding the former Separatist rule over Onderon. The mission was easy (at least by the Bad Batch’s standards) and Wrecker was overjoyed over getting to blow a droid tank up. But it was time to head back to Kamino, resupply and wait for new orders.

Wrecker practically barged out of the ship as soon as the Havoc Marauder touched the hangar on Tipoca City, claiming to be starving even though he had eaten not even an hour before. Tech, Echo and you followed him to the mess hall, and Hunter headed to the commander’s office to submit the several missions’ reports he was due, promising to join the four of you later. Similarly, Crosshair mentioned stopping by the armory to grab some more reflective disks as he was running out, shooting a wink your way as you promised to save him a seat next to you on the squad’s usual table.

On the way back to their quarters following his visit to the armory Crosshair bumped into Hunter and after a few words both decided to stop by their quarters in order to leave their equipment before heading to the mess hall to meet the others. As they wandered the sterile halls of the kaminoan facility, however, an incoming transmission from Hunter’s comm made them stop short.

“Hunter, where are you?” Tech’s usually calm and collected voice came through sounding a bit… panicky. Strange, Crosshair’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked at his brother; Tech didn’t panic.

“Crosshair and I are on our way to our quarters, why?”

“You might want to make a detour to the medbay.” Echo’s voice came in as well. “A fight broke out in the mess hall.”

Hunter pinched his nose as Crosshair sighed in annoyance. Typical. They’ve been back on Kamino for less than a standard hour and they were already in trouble.

“What did Wrecker get up to this time?” Crosshair spoke into his brother’s comm.

Echo and Tech paused, the silence on their end stretching for a moment.

“It wasn’t Wrecker.” Tech answered.

“This time.” Echo chimed in.

A distant ‘Hey!’ was heard as Hunter and Crosshair exchanged a confused yet concerned glance before rushing through the halls. Tech and Echo were waiting for them before the closed doors that lead to the medbay.

“What happened?” Hunter asked, his tone laced with tiredness, clearly fed up with his brothers’ antics. 

But before either of them could respond a pair of troopers, regs by the looks of it, walked out the doors. And they couldn’t look worse for wear; one of them had a busted lip and the other was sporting a broken nose, two large bruises already starting to climb up towards his eyes.

“Oh, look, the rest of the anomalies are here.” the one with the cut lip snickered, grimacing as the action pulled against the wound.

“How about you control your little shabuir next time, eh?” the other scoffed as they walked away “Crazy shebs medic and the genetic freaks, it’s like they were made for each other.”

As soon as the word ‘medic’ crossed the reg’s lips Crosshair was moving, busting through the doors of the medbay. What he saw made his heart clench with worry; you were sitting on a cot, holding Wrecker’s hand rather tightly as a medical droid worked on your face. Crosshair could see some caked blood on your hair as the droid cleaned the side of your forehead where it had dripped down. As the droid went over where the cut must have been you winced, to which Wrecker rubbed up and down your back.

“There, baar’ur’ika. It’s all better now.” Wrecker whispered, or at least tried to.

“Thanks, Wreck.” you smiled up at him “I’m just not used to being on the receiving end of medical care, that’s all. I’m always the one cleaning up your cuts, not the other way around.”

Crosshair was so engrossed in watching the exchange he barely heard his brothers follow him into the medbay.

“Some regs started provoking us as we were walking to our table in the mess hall.” Tech explained “She started getting agitated but we told her to just ignore it. But then… a pair of regs said something under their breaths only she could hear, and she…”

“She went ballistic.” Echo completed for Tech, who looked unsettled for once “It looked like she was out for their heads. So much so that Wrecker had to step in.”

Crosshair heard Hunter sigh behind him.

“Command is not gonna be happy with him for getting into a fight. Again.”

“Oh no,” Tech corrected “Wrecker intervened in order to pry her away from the regs. The two troopers who just walked out? That was all her doing.”

A strange sense of pride bloomed inside Crosshair’s chest and started crawling up his throat, his lips threatening to curl into a small smile. Not only were you always looking out for them on the battlefield, but also outside of it? The trust he had been building over time seemed to solidify at that very moment.

As the droid finished wrapping your injury and walked away, Wrecker finally seemed to notice them. 

“Look! Crosshair and Hunter are here!”

As your eyes finally found his, you seemed to light up entirely, akin to a little kid on Life Day.

“Come on, Wrecker, let’s get you some food.” Hunter called, a barely contained sigh escaping from his lips “From what I hear you didn’t get a chance to eat yet. And I have to go back to Command and report this incident.”

Your smile turned sheepish and Crosshair couldn’t tell if you were embarrassed over the slight reprimanding tone in the sergeant’s voice or because your shenanigans had caused everyone to miss dinner so far.

As the other’s left, he sat down on the foot of your cot next to your legs, his long fingers wrapping around your ankle.

“So” he drawled out, a small smirk pulling at his lips “I hear you got yourself in trouble?”

You chuckled, to which he squeezed your ankle playfully in return.

“Yeah, I guess your affinity for trouble is rubbing off on me.”

“I mean, you were assigned to us after all, you obviously aren’t the little angel Commander Cody made you out to be.” he joked, before letting his curiosity get the better of him “What did they say anyway to make you snap like that?”

He noticed the very moment your face fell, your smile slipping off your face and your eyes turning slightly dull.

“Oh, Cross.” there was something so sad in the way you said his name that he never wanted to hear again, even if it meant he never got to hear his name fall from your lips for the rest of his life “They were so vile. First they started talking about Tech, Wrecker and Echo and they just told me to ignore it, but then…” a very soft, almost unnoticeable sheen of tears brimmed in your eyes “They started talking about you, Cross.”

The grip he had on your leg grew even tighter as he physically recoiled, taken aback.

“They started saying these awful things about you and you weren’t even there.” you stammered “They were being cruel and mean to you behind your back and I couldn’t let that slide. I just remembered what you once told me, about how the regs treated you as cadets and I just… saw red. I didn’t even think, I just acted.”

Crosshair felt his heart skip a beat. You, their sweet medic, got into a physical altercation… because of him? Because you felt the need to protect not only him, but his vode as well? You, who baked cookies and was nice to him even when he pushed you away and insulted you, broke a soldier’s nose… for him?

“I-I’m sorry.” you sighed “I know I shouldn’t have, but-”

“Would you do it again?”

Now was your turn to be taken aback.

“What?”

“If a bunch of regs ever insulted me or my brothers again,” he said slowly, the words feeling heavy on his tongue “would you defend us again, even if it meant getting hurt?”

Your lips curled up in a gentle smile, one he came to realize was reserved for him and him alone.

“I’d do anything for you, Crosshair.”

In a moment he was by your side, not even realizing he was moving. He sat on the bed by your side as you scooted over, making space for him, and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. His lips pressed softly on the hair on the crown of your head as he spoke.

“I won’t let you get hurt, Copikla.” he whispered, the most vulnerable he had ever been “Not on my watch, you’re never getting hurt again.”

He sighed contently as you relaxed by his side, laying your head on his shoulder.

“I promise.”

[neo-my-geo]

Hey gang, it’s your old pal Neo here. If you know me, it’s probably from one of the several very stupid TF2 comics I’ve posted to Tumblr.

However! I am also an English major (unfortunately). One who has read millions of words worth of fanfiction in their life. I have been part of the Sherlock, BNHA, Disco Elysium, and, of course, TF2 fandoms; I’ve been around the block.

The further I’ve progressed into my English education, the more I’ve noticed which mistakes are the most common in fanfiction. Many of them are easily fixable; writers just need to be pointed in the right direction. 

“Neo! Does this mean you think people shouldn’t be allowed to post their works online without a background in formal English education?”

Of course not! I can explain why if you’d care to venture below the cut with me!

Yes, I will explain how to use commas.

It’s important to note that this is NOT a post about formal writing. You aren’t writing an essay. Please, for the love of god, do not write fiction like you’re writing an essay.

There are no stakes to writing fanfic. No one is going to get hurt if an author doesn’t know what a dangling participle is. One of my favourite things about fanfiction is that it’s one of the only art forms left that’s done exclusively for fun! You should write what you enjoy, and share what you make with like-minded people. 

What I want to do is provide assistance as best I can to writers who want to improve their fundamentals without having to take the same university courses I did. Nobody is going to be getting a formal education to write fanfiction unless they’re ridiculously dedicated, and I’m not expecting that of anyone. 

The point I need to stress is that knowing these grammar fundamentals can instantly improve the flow of your writing. Punctuation is a ridiculously important tool for writers, ESPECIALLY in fiction. Commas, semicolons, and full stops (including periods, exclamation points, and question marks) steer the pacing in the reader’s mind; did you notice how your brain stopped for a second after that semicolon? I can show you how to do that.

You may be wondering why I’m going through so much effort to teach all of this to strangers on the internet. The answer is that I enjoy sharing this knowledge with others and helping them grow. By seeing this, my goal is to help you become more proficient at self-editing. Showing this to people who actually want to learn will, hopefully, benefit the community as a whole, and I think that’s very worth it. 

Also, while this post is obviously themed around TF2, the points I’m making can be applied to any fiction. Grammar is for everyone, and the church of the semicolon always has room for more initiates. 

Also also, as an edit, I should clarify that this is meant to cover the more objective facets of self-editing, which is why I'm mostly covering punctuation. Maybe I'll do another post about using adjectives someday.

With that out of the way, let’s get going!

I’ve teamed up with several English teachers (real ones! One of which may or may not be my mom!) and an editor to gather a list of the most common problems we see in amateur fiction. This post is going to be split into three broad sections: apostrophes, commas/semicolons, and other common problems. 

The apostrophe

This section is short, but it holds weight. Other than commas, apostrophes are the most typoed grammatical tool in any fanfiction I’ve edited. This is because, much like the rest of English, the rules surrounding them can be annoying and inconsistent. 

Apostrophes have two main uses: possessives and conjunctions.

A possessive is a word that denotes the ownership of one thing over another. The vast majority of the time, this is done using an apostrophe and an S.

There is, however, one glaring exception to this rule, and it’s the bane of my existence. 

When denoting possession of an object over something else while using the pronoun ‘it,’ you do NOT add an apostrophe before the S.

A conjunction, on the other hand, is when a writer uses an apostrophe to combine two words. The following are examples of common conjunctions:

What’s (what is)

They’re (they are)

It’s (it is)

Conjunctions are not often used in formal writing. Thankfully, we aren’t dealing in formal writing. Go crazy.

Time for a lightning round of the most commonly mistaken for each other possessives and conjunctions!

Your is possessive. You’re is a conjunction of ‘you’ and ‘are.’ When you can’t decide which one to use, imagine replacing it with ‘you are’ and seeing if it makes sense. If it doesn’t, use your.

Their is possessive. There indicates a location. They’re is a conjunction of ‘they’ and ‘are.’ 

The comma and the semicolon

You knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. It’s time to talk about commas.

Commas and semicolons are far and away the biggest grammatical hole in the toolset of fanfiction writers everywhere. They’re often treated like the rules surrounding them are complicated and difficult to understand, but the exact opposite is true! 

The big issue I’ve heard time and time again is that the rules of commas are often explained through metaphor instead of example; this means that writers everywhere have slightly different ideas of how you’re supposed to use them. The fact of the matter is that, yes, there are correct and incorrect ways to use commas. Knowing when they’re appropriate and when they aren’t is easily the fastest way to bring your writing from looking amateurish to sounding professional and experienced. 

In order to know how to use a comma, you must first understand the difference between a dependent and an independent clause. 

An independent clause is a section of writing that functions perfectly well as its own sentence. It MUST have both a subject and an action/verb.

A sentence without an independent clause is known as a fragment, and they’re the bane of English teachers with highlighters everywhere. 

A dependent clause is a section of writing that does not have both a subject and an action; it does not function as its own sentence.

Now, let’s say you want to combine the two. When joining a dependent clause to an independent clause, the order in which they are placed is crucial to whether you use a comma or not. 

When joining a dependent to an independent with the independent clause first, you do not need to use a comma.

When joining a dependent to an independent with the dependent clause first, you MUST use a comma. 

Keep in mind that, if one strives for total grammatical perfection, all narrative sentences MUST have an independent clause. This, however, does not apply to dialogue. Human beings do not think about whether what they’re saying is a dependent clause, and neither would the vast majority of fictional characters. Don’t be afraid to break the rules of grammar as long as it’s contained within quotation marks. 

Alright, that’s the easy part. Time to learn about joining two independent clauses. It’s semicolon time, baby!

If you join two independent clauses without properly using a comma or a semicolon, it is a run-on sentence. You do not want these in your writing. They’re awkward to read and mess up the flow.

When joining two independent clauses, you can use EITHER a comma or a semicolon. You just need to follow these rules:

If you’re joining two independent clauses with a comma, you MUST use a joining word (and, but, so, etc.) AFTER the comma. 

If you’re joining two independent clauses with a semicolon, you do NOT need to use a joining word.

Did you know that a sentence with a comma counts as its own independent clause? This means that you can make a sentence that includes a mix of both without it being a run-on! Just make sure that, no matter what, the semicolon is between two independent clauses. 

Still, try not to write more than two clauses in a sentence too often. Sentences with a lot of punctuation are very attention-grabbing, but shouldn’t be overused. Full stops aren’t your enemy and variety is the spice of life. 

It’s also important to remember that you should avoid using more than one comma in a clause (with the exception of the rule below). That part loops back to the 'avoiding run-ons' bit.

It’s really that easy! 

Commas are also used in informal writing to inject a separate thought or descriptor mid-sentence without breaking the flow by adding a period. This is often used when describing the perspective of a character experiencing something in a story, but not (usually) when using omniscient perspectives. 

The final issue I frequently see with commas in fanfiction is in regards to dialogue. Sometimes you end it with them, and sometimes you don’t. What gives? 

Well, my friend, the answer is, thankfully, much simpler than the previous section.

When following dialogue with a dialogue tag, use a comma instead of a full stop. If you’re continuing the previous sentence after the tag, use a comma after it as well. 

Note that a dialogue tag is a short phrase that identifies the speaker. It isn’t a complete sentence on its own.

When following dialogue with an action that does not serve as a dialogue tag, use a full stop instead of a comma. 

Other common problems

This section is dedicated to putting specific grammatical errors into words, along with how to solve them. 

Not sticking to the chosen point of view

Always choose your point of view before you start. Is it in the first, second, or third person? Is it omniscient or limited? Does the point of view switch during the story?

First person perspective is told as if the POV character is directly describing their experience to the reader. The character uses I and we to describe their own actions.

Second person perspective is told as if the reader is a character in the story and their actions are being described to them. This is the rarest, and the most difficult to write.

Third person perspective is the most common and the simplest to write. The events of the story are a separate entity from the reader altogether and the narrator uses they/he/she/it pronouns for characters. 

Omniscient perspective means the narrator of the story knows all, including the thoughts and feelings of each character. 

Limited perspective means the narrator of the story only knows what the POV character knows. 

Past and present tense

When you decide between writing a story in past or present tense, it is crucial that you do not switch between them unless it is narratively intentional. Reading a past tense story that mistakenly switches to the present tense is like being pulled out of the room someone is telling a story in and suddenly taking part in it yourself. It’s disorienting and gives the reader unwanted pause.

Overly-long paragraphs

A common adage spread by English teachers is that most paragraphs should be at least eight sentences long. This is great advice for beginner essays. You’re writing fiction. 

If you have a new thought, start a new paragraph! A concise and well-read single-sentence paragraph is infinitely better than one that drags a thought for too long. Aim to have a blend of paragraph lengths when you write, alternating between the descriptive and the punctual. 

Dangling participles

A dangling participle is when a word is used to describe a noun that isn’t actually present in the sentence. Much like how a sentence without an action isn’t grammatically correct, neither is a sentence without a subject. 

Malapropisms

A malapropism is when an author mistakenly uses one word or phrase instead of another similar-sounding one. I’m not about to list every single malapropism ever made, but these are the ones I notice most often:

To comprehend is to understand something, to apprehend is to arrest someone, and to be apprehensive is to be anxious or fearful of something bad happening.

Could care less means you do care. Couldn’t care less means you don’t.

A lot means a large amount of something. Alot isn’t a word and you shouldn’t use it.

The only real solution to using malapropisms is to make sure you fully understand any words you use in your writing. Never guess, and make sure you always google it. Having beta readers also helps.

If you made it this far, congratulations! You now know the most common errors in amateur fiction and how to solve them! Thank you for listening to me complain for two thousand words. 

The most important thing to remember is that it’s okay to make mistakes. First drafts are always gonna be a little bad. The real key to success is knowing what your end goal is, and how you plan on achieving it. Here’s hoping this was a helpful tool for that!

Shoutout to @salmonandsoup for helping me think of the list of issues to address! You're a real one. Also shoutout to my mom, who doesn't have Tumblr. Also the third person. You know who you are.

[thewhumpyprintingpress]

10 Ways To Support Your Favorite Small Presses

(these tips also work for supporting your favorite authors!)

Reblog reblog reblog! Reblogging their posts on tumblr is one of the best ways to help new readers find them.

Tell a friend. Word of mouth is golden. If you enjoy a book, recommend it to a friend who you think will like it too!

Leave a review. Whether you review on your social media, reading tracker app (e.g. StoryGraph, Goodreads), or on your preferred book retailer, every review helps.

Request that your local library purchase their books. And if your library has a service like Hoopla, see if their books are available for check out!

Subscribe to their newsletter. Most presses have semi-regular email newsletters where they give publication updates. By subscribing, you can keep up to date on new books and other fun stuff. (Plus, you might get cute cat pictures)

Give a one-off donation via Ko-fi, Buy Me a Coffee, etc. Everything so far has been completely free. But if you have a little cash to spare, this is a great way to show your support.

Pick up an ebook. You get to read an awesome book AND support your favorite press??? It's a win-win! Also, if your press has their own store, consider purchasing directly from them rather than through a third party.

Pick up a physical book. Not only do you get to support your fav, you also get to add a beautiful book to your bookshelf! And if you purchase directly from them, you might get some extra goodies or even a signed book!

Become a member on their Ko-fi, Patreon, etc. One of the biggest struggles with publishing books is the lack of consistent income. Providing monthly financial support can help the press stay steady during slower periods. And it probably isn't as expensive as your think! (Here at WPP, our Ko-fi membership tiers start at $1 per month)

And finally, let them know that you enjoy their work! Publishing is a long, lonely process that involves a lot of smashing keyboards and trying to decide where the commas should go. Telling them that all their hard work has paid off and that you enjoyed what they created will make their day. I guarantee it.

[silvermoon424]

what do each of the main PMMM girls names mean?

Here's that info in one handy-dandy post:

Madoka Kaname:

Madoka: Written in hiragana, so there's no way to know for sure. But a popular interpretation for her name is that it should contain the kanji for "round" or "circle," referencing her role as the Law of Cycles. It could also be written with the character for "wish" or "ambition," the connotations of which should be obvious.

Kaname: The characters mean "deer" (鹿) and "eye"(目), respectively.

Homura Akemi:

Homura: Like Madoka, it's written in hiragana which has no special meaning. However, in the show itself Madoka takes it to mean "flame" so that's what the fandom has gone with.

Akemi: The first character (暁) means "daybreak," while the second one (美) means beauty.

Mami Tomoe:

Mami: It's written in katakana and has hundreds of potential meanings when we take all the potential kanji into account. I'm really not aware of the fandom's popular take on the meaning of her name. However, she may be named after another magical girl, Creamy Mami.

Tomoe: The character for her last name (巴) literally means "comma design," a Japanese swirl pattern. She may be named after Sailor Saturn (Hotaru Tomoe), a fellow magical girl.

Sayaka Miki:

Sayaka: Her name is written in hiragana- noticing a trend? Some of the potential meanings of "Sayaka" are "clear," "fresh," and "bright."

Miki: The first character (美) means "beauty." The last character (樹) means "tree."

Kyoko Sakura:

Kyoko: Finally we have an exact meaning! Kyoko's given name is in kanji and means "apricot."

Sakura: Even casual anime fans should know this one: it means "cherry blossom."

Bonus round: Nagisa Momoe

Nagisa: Aaaaaand we're back to hiragana. Some potential meanings of Nagisa are "beach, shore."

Momoe: The first character for Momoe (百) means "hundred", but also carries the connotation of "a lot of things". The second character (江) means "inlet" or "bay." "Momoe" could be translated as "a hundred rivers."

Thanks a bunch to the PMMM Wiki for providing etymology for every single PMMM character, including all spinoffs! Or at least for every magical girl character, which to be real are the only characters who matter.

[moonshynecybin]

what would you consider essential marc and rosquez watching? i don’t mean races but the stuff happening around it, there seems to be so much and idk where to start 😭

BIG ass question. i think it depends what you want outta this and how you best interact with content slash consume information. for me (not to brag but. winner of multiple historical essay writing competitions in high school. for context on the kind of freak i am bringing to the table here.) the research is kind of the fun part ! like i just started googling shit! i would go to inactive blogs and just search 'marquez' on them to see what would happen ! a lot of the times that works ! but it also takes a lotttt of time lol so i'll chuck some good resources your way, why not...

okay im not sure how basic we're talkin here but um. background. so the documentaries are, i think. the best place to start. theyre entertaining and offer a good amalgamation of clips to provide context for the actual racing. and like i know you de-emphasized racing (which is fine lol who cares) but it really is like the most important thing in the world to these fools and its a pretty visual sport so i think its at least helpful. like yes sepang IS about the press conference, but its also about the conversation they have ON the race track using their motorcycles. which is also somewhat a conversation that they HAVE been having all year long...

i'd start with hitting the apex (2013), its a GREAT introduction to the "characters" that does a lot of legwork to contextualize everything. lays the scene for where vale is at coming into his relationship with marc (both personally, wrt to marco simoncelli, and career-wise concerning his flop at ducati), and also how insane marc's whole deal is in general. the second half is. materially a study on what him entering the premiere class did to the sport as a whole. the introductory chapter in many respects

marc marquez: all in. MY introduction and blissfully free online. marc comma in his own words, with all the implications of that. a self-produced documentary where he is giving feedback about the edit of said documentary straight to camera and no less vulnerable because of it which is very marc imo. revealing both intentionally AND unintentionally about his whole deal with injury, vale, and his image.

motogp unlimited. im gonna be real kind of boring. like i would still watch it ! but do it kind of later, once you know the major players so youre automatically more invested. it doesnt really give you more than marc says himself in all in tbh, and i get the sense him and vale were NAWWWT interested in doing more than the bare minimum for it.

marc's rookie doc. free and subtitled on the youtubes. the first half of this is deadass just him wanting to fuck vale so bad while every comment from vale has me saying GIRL. out loud because the foreshadowing would be genuinely shocking if this was fiction. anyways the laguna seca of it all....

next i would hit up PODCASTS ! i think it makes sense after the documentaries, because these are all podcasts that arent strictly about rosquez (even if they are in many ways the main characters lmao) and personally it helps to put faces to lesser known names that might pop up before i listen to a purely audio product and get lost in the soup of sounds. the paddock pass podcast has two retrospective episodes about the 2015 season that are really good at context, oxley bom pod has a fun recent episode on valentino that i love, again just poke around a lil

videos. these guys have never filmed a lot of content together tragically. what i wouldnt give for someone to make them do an escape room. anyways ranch visit HERE (post explaining the ranch visit here). sepang presscon (sowwy) here. vale unhinged podcast interview the month after marc's documentary came out here. vale retirement interview where he gets asked about marc here. vale talking about asking marc to the ranch here. vale postrace at argentina 2018 here. UCCIO postrace at argentina 2018 here. theres a lot moreeeee just go on my blog archive and filter for rosquez and vids its easier lol

journalism. hello. okay so you should genuinely spend some time reading through mat oxley's stuff he can write (theres a paywall but you can run that shit through wayback machine). he also loves an insane comparison which i do enjoy.... again this is one that can be solved by googling his name and tacking on 'marquez' or 'rossi' or a specific time period or race it will probably reap some dividends. in terms of specific ass articles this one is kind of load bearing in terms of sepang and some of the interpersonal competitive tensions at play. that being said there are manyyyyyy crazy interviews and snippents of articles from other journos floating around motogp tumblr (like literally too many to link) adn its fun to dig around to find them, but mat oxley gets a shoutout because i was reading this article TODAY !

other content. honestly one of the best resources I'VE found for plotting out the arc of their relationship is @kingofthering's everyrosquezpodium series. you can REALLY see it play out lol. also her tagging system rules she very neatly lays out years and races... so if something jumps out at you, CLICK ITTTT ! also all of @ricciardoes fave presscon moments series. insane.

all this to say a small little rpf fandom like this rewards some digging! i would just recommend following narrative threads that interest you ! its also a small fanbase that is pretty research oriented, so if youre ever confused about somethin, just shoot an ask or run a search on someone's blog (@kwisatzworld has endless vale resources and @batsplat is one of the most thorough researchers ive ever seen, for example) like for real theres so much... i also have a primer that i made forever ago that has some links on it so you can peruse that if you so wish. but frankly a lot of it is just using those research muscles and being sufficiently deranged enough to be screenshotting reddit threads at one am so you can post them to tumblr because they mentioned marc and vale in the same sentence and that lit up some of the neurons in your brain

(and i know you said outside of races but i think theyre good benchmarks as turning points soooo you should do some diggin on laguna seca 2013, jerez 2015, argentina 2015, ASSEN 2015, sepang 2015 obvi, argentina 2018, and misano 2019. those are the big tentpoles of insane rosquez relationship drama imo. i mean theres many more but. im limiting myself.)

[reds-ultrakill-brainrot]

Can I request some sappy, fluffy enough to make you cry tears of happiness romance (or platonic) headcanons for gabriel x reader? Thank you!

I Wanna Be Felled By You, Held By You

fluffy gabriel headcanons

x reader content (intended romantic)

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

- he lingers around you, but at first is hesitant to initiate physical contact. he at times struggles to verbalise his wants in romance, the purity culture of his church having wormed it's way deep into his brain. it takes time, but his affection for you overwhelms his lingering guilt. and when you touch him the world is at peace, he sees why this bliss was kept from him for he would defy Heaven again for another minute in your arms - he has always enjoyed the freedom that playing an instrument game him, and sharing his talent with you provides yet another way for the both of you to bond. if you also know an instrument he would be more than thrilled to play together. he uses music as a way to emotionally regulate, and with the closeness of your relationship he feels comfortable enough to let you see him in such moments of emotional vulnerability - if you express any particular appreciation of his voice he will offer to read some books aloud for you. with you nestled in his arms and the low rumble of his voice it will be hard to fight off sleep, he appreciates the closeness and certainly doesn't mind you spending a few hours in his arms, awake or asleep - your openness towards him was especially impactful after the council's fall. he values your willingness to explain yourself and your accountability, he truly belives you when you promise him something. his trust is not something he gives lightly and as the last remaining recipient of it you have a lot of power, don't misuse it - he absolutely loves forehead kisses, both giving and recieving them. he has learned to be exceptionally gentle with them, his soft hand tilting your chin down as he lightly taps his helmet against your forehead - the quickest way to fluster him without making him uncomfortable would be to hold his hand. a simple gesture, but it holds much meaning to him. i honestly believe he would take relationships very slowly and that it would take time to move towards more intimate gestures, so holding his hand is an innocent alternative that still conveys your affection

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

thank you for the request, i tried to include some wish fufilment while staying true to my interpretation of the character. there are a few sentences grossly overusing the oxford comma but you can pry it out of my cold undead hands

[urlovebot]

times in which the rest of zerobaseone are completely done with poly!haobin + reader.

cw: fluff. one mention of a leash. somewhat suggestive. poly!haobin + reader.

breakfast time:

It’s usually hanbin who cooks in the morning (and gets up at too early of an hour to begin. shimmy-ing from between you and hao’s grip, kissing you both on the forehead before retreating into the kitchen) and the members get up at various times to eat, but when you all can, you try to eat together.

more under the cut!

you and hao usually come last, enjoying the warmth of each other before begrudgingly leaving your cozy room. hao is tugging you to the kitchen with your hand in his and when he sits, he pulls you into his lap. multiple groans and gagging noises can be heard around the kitchen. hao literally pays this no mind and continues to mind his business (which is currently occupied with wrapping his arms around your waist and letting his head rest on your back.) until hanbin brings plates over for the both of you.

Hanbin wasn’t as much of a fan of pda in front of others, but he’d still feed you both a bite of food every once in a while, which, of course, causes a fit of laughter from gyuvin and yujin, both of them copying you three, feeding eachother and making cooing noises while doing it. usually a simple “keep it up.” and a stern look from hanbin keeps them quiet. not for long though.

in the practice room:

now this goes two ways. they're either grateful you’re there or wants to throw the whole TRIO out of the room.

Theyre grateful when hanbin has been getting increasingly annoyed when the younger ones won’t pay attention, getting snippy with all of the members. as soon as hanbin balls his fists up and his brows start to furrow, there you are to save the day! you interrupt his incoming eruption with a quick,

“binnie!! you want some water? come take a break, i miss you.”

you don’t really miss him, you see him all the time COMMA BUT when he looks over at you, smiling and holding up a water bottle, all of his anger dissipates. his eyes soften and his fists unclench as he happily walks over to you. he grabs the bottle, sits on the floor between your legs, and lets you massage at his shoulders. it brings him true peace. (but its interrupted when hao sits in front of him and scolds him for not taking a break as soon as he started getting upset and how he needs to be easier on the young ones. hanbin closes his eyes in annoyance, but hes grateful for both of you.) (also, yujin, gyuvin, and jiwoong all throw you prayer hands as a thank you for saving their asses.)

they want to throw yall mfs out whenever the entire group is getting tired, energy depleting, and all you, hao, and hanbin are doing is laughing in the corner with eachother. they just do not understand how you could POSSIBLY have that much energy after a 5+ hour long practice. you assuage that by buying them desserts.

at an award show:

now, the members are so thankful you get to accompany them to their schedules, even if you aren’t a part of the group. they love when you’re around because you, at this point, are almost essential to their growing dynamic. you provide a significant amount of support to all of them, having a special relationship with each member.

with this being said, you + haobin at an award show… disastrous.

remember how i said hanbin doesn’t like pda in front of others? yeah throw that shit out the window when you’re at an award show. Hanbin just thinks you and hao are so pretty that he can’t help but be a little jealous when other people look at you both for too long. you both just look so good when you’re all done up. and you both know it too. the way you walk and act exudes confidence and hanbin straight up cannot help but want to shield you from everyone's eyes other than his own.

since he can't do that, he opts for having a hand on both of you at any given time. whether that be hands on your waists when youre standing in designated area, holding hands while you navigate through a crowd, or pressing his hands on both yours and hao’s thighs when you sit on opposite sides of him. he’s just obsessed with you two. the other members also see this and thinks its hysterical. they all giggle when one of you lets go of his hand and his eyes widen in panic when he notices either of you are talking to a person outside of their group. the rest of the group teases him.

“they’re not gonna disappear dude. seriously.”

“hanbin you gotta be hurting their hands."

"just put a leash on them at this point." (he does. often. but thats not for them to know, nor to ever find out.)

“omg hanbin look theyre talking to hyunjin!” (this one makes hanbin panic the most. hyunjin is one fine man and he definitely thinks with enough conversation, both you and hao could be swayed to leave with him tonight.)

yeah. hanbin is so in love its almost painful to watch.

[godsiero]

promises

spencer reid x oc (that you can pretend is bau!fem!reader)

warnings: general cm details, not canon compliant at all (but is written with post-season 14 reid in mind, like, all of his trauma has happened (and also everybody who has worked at the bau, has worked at the bau, and hotch and morgan are back ur welcome)), not a warning but slowest slow burn ever

wc 5073

this is my spencer reid fanfiction debut, please be nice. it is also a self-insert because this is what i daydream about when real life sucks however comma i hate y/n and/or saying my own name when it says y/n so i come up with a fake name, in this case that is "claudia jessup," and you can replace her name with yours for your reading pleasure idc.

chapter 1 of ??? i actually really enjoyed just spewing my stream of consciousness, so sorry if the ramblings seem unnecessary, but they're there for DETAIL!! i have sooooo many ideas for this, so i sure hope i stick with it.

plz provide feedback i love attention (any title rec would be appreciated)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Is Hotch talking to the new agent?” JJ had just got in and asked Emily, who was staring intently into Hotch’s closed blinds.

She turned to face JJ, “Has to be. They’ve been in there since before I arrived.”

“Any idea who they could be?” Derek entered the conversation after wrapping up his phone call.

“No clue, but if they’ve been in there for over an hour and a half, there’s no telling how vital they could be. Hotch rarely spends that much time with one candidate if they don’t mean something.”

“Could also mean they didn’t get the position and have been begging him to reconsider,” Derek chuckled, knowing that’s absolutely a possibility, after all of the candidates they’ve seen since Kate left. 

“Funny, but they’d probably be shouting, by now,” JJ countered.

“No shouting detected. In fact, I’ve heard some laughter,” Rossi emerged from his office, wanting to know what everybody was gossiping about, drama queen that he is.

“Really? Wow, if they can manage a lighthearted conversation with Hotch, they’ve gotta be a keeper,” said JJ.

“Keeper they must be, look,” Rossi lifted his chin in the direction of Hotch’s office, where he was opening the door for the new agent to come out.

They all turned to watch as Hotch shook her hand, thanking her for her time, and welcoming her to the team before noticing the audience that had accumulated.

Garcia had caught the very end of this congregation and was the first to congratulate her from afar, “Oh! Is she the new team member, please tell me this is the new team member, I am dying to end this manhunt for a new best friend to go to O’Keefe’s with, and if she’s into Doctor Who and aliens and unicorns, I call dibs on bestest friend number one.” 

Hotch had come down the stairs to formally introduce the team to their newest addition, “Everyone, I would like you to meet Dr. Claudia Jessup, who just finished her time at the academy and was instantly recommended by the director to join the BAU. Welcome to the team.”

Emily beamed at her, shaking her hand, “Let me be the first to say congratulations on such a high honor and praise, I’m Emily Prentiss.

JJ was next, “We’re happy to have you here, I’m JJ.”

Penelope was too eager to wait any longer, “Welcome to the BAU, we will be your friends, your family, and your confidants. I would also like to note that the estrogen finally adds up to the testosterone on this team, which is filling me with an enormous amount of serotonin and dopamine that I don’t think will ever be replicated.” She hugged Claudia, who smiled and accepted it. She knew the BAU was a prestigious, close-knit team and already felt the love radiating through the air while meeting everybody.

After being released, Rossi picked up where Penelope left off, “She’s Penelope, by the way, and she doesn’t know a thing about manners, but I do. David Rossi, pasta and wine afficionado, at your service.”

Finally, Derek took his turn to shake her hand, “Doctor, huh? Looks like pretty boy has got some competition, when he gets back. Nice to meet you, name’s Derek, but you can call me whenever you like.”

He shot a wink with his last statement, which forced Emily to chime in, “He does that to everyone, ignore him,” she rolled her eyes and playfully hit his arm while Claudia let out a breathy chuckle.

After she realized everyone was done with their introductions, she took that moment to look at all of them and thank them for welcoming her so ardently. She had an air of professionalism about her that was balanced out with a girlish charm that everybody was instantly drawn to. The entire group was enamored with how young, spritely, and energetic she seemed. Penelope especially liked her style; how it was colorful, yet suitable to be out in the field, but there was something else about her that wasn’t so obviously worn on her sleeve that Penelope couldn’t quite place at the moment. 

Hotch had walked away during the meet and greet and came back to interrupt the niceties with the news of a new case, which forced everybody to make their way into the roundtable room.

Since Hotch got the call straight from the director, everybody instantly knew it was high-priority and trumped any and all other cases that could’ve potentially taken their time. Burnt bodies were turning up in random places all over Las Vegas. All of victims had been drowned prior to being burnt. There had been three bodies in the span of three weeks, but what had made it such a dire case in the directors eyes, was that it seemed there were messages being left for a new member of BAU with each new body that was discovered. The M.E. had found pieces of paper in the slit throats of each body, which had been put there after they had been burnt. Seemingly, the unsub had dumped the bodies and then did this last step. The first had said “E.P.” which had been nondescript enough to not garner any worry (besides the fact that a person was dead), but the next had said “J.J.” Yet again, not enough cause to explicitly state this was a targeted message, but it turned some heads. It was when the third body had said “A.H.” the director decided to bite the bullet and come straight to the BAU with the case. 

With only that information to go on, they’d all made their way to the jet.

“Should we tell Spence, he could be in trouble,” JJ seemed worked up about that in a way nobody else particularly was.

“No. He has enough to worry about right now with his mother. If the case escalates, we’ll inform him, but everybody should avoid communicating with Reid about this, for now,” Hotch was dead set in this deduction, which nobody argued with, but JJ still seemed anxious about it.

Hotch seemed to sense it, too, because he followed up with, “I’m serious, JJ. If anybody informs Reid about this before I give the okay, I will not be happy about it.”

With that, JJ shook off her anxiety and focused back in on the case, though Claudia could still see something behind her eyes.

The journey on the jet was full of silence. There was no possible way to trace prints or any DNA linked to the unsub, so Garcia had no way of coming up with any new information for the team. 

However, it was clear to everyone that this seemed religiously charged.

Genesis 6:17 I am going to bring floodwaters on the earth to destroy all life under the heavens.

2 Peter 3:10 The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid here.

Enforcing Occam’s razor, the team concluded that there seemed to be no other explanation, especially when it came to something so particular as this unsub’s MO. Until they landed, nothing else was to be discussed.

Claudia had had her headphones in for a while. She’d looked through the file an immeasurable amount of times, trying to memorize it all as best as she could before the jet landed. She was brought out of her trance when she was tapped on the shoulder by Derek.

She looked up at him and saw his mouth move, but didn’t hear what he had said. She took out one headphone while responding with a smile and, “Hey.”

“What are you listening to?”

“Just a podcast,” she lied.

“Are those noise canceling? Because last time I checked, podcasts aren’t loud enough to drown out people talking to me.”

Claudia had picked up on Morgan’s sarcastic way of speaking to people before he even opened his mouth for the first time. She found it reassuring that not everything had to be so serious, even though it was. Two can play at this game.

“They’re not. Sometimes I just don’t feel like talking.”

“Oh! She’s feisty, I like that. Hate to break it to you, but you’re gonna have to talk to some people when you don’t want to.”

She realized he’d taken her statement the wrong way and felt the need to overexplain herself. She couldn’t determine if that was a good or bad idea in the short amount of time she needed to respond to him in, so she settled with a respectfully and equally sarcastic comeback.

“I only have to talk to people when I find it absolutely necessary. Requirement or not,” she quirked her mouth in to a sly, half-smile when Morgan opened his mouth and raised his eyebrows in shock at how quickly she slipped into the energy and nature of this conversation. 

“You’re gonna fit right in,” he chuckled and put his own headphones back on his head and went to scroll on his phone.

Claudia went back to rereading the file and placed the headphone she’d taken out back into her ear. She’d never turned the music off.

______________________________________________________________

The case was nearly impossible to solve without reacting to the unsub in real time. Everyone was upset by the very real truth that they wouldn’t be able to act until another body had been found. This unsub truly left no stone unturned when covering their tracks. No paper trail, no electronic footprint, no evidence of where they were coming from or where they were going. Worst of all nobody could think of why they were targeting the BAU, besides the obvious, of course. 

The one clue that the team had been given was the fact that the victim’s dental records helped uncover their identities, which gave you one single answer to the unsubs victimology.

Each victim that had been found with an agent's initials in their throat may as well have been that agent’s dopplegänger.

While this obviously helped you figure out who to protect, it did not make it any easier, seeing as the unsub wasn’t going in any obvious order. 

It was Friday. The bodies had consistently turned up Saturday morning at six in the morning, but the location changed every time. There was no way of knowing where they would go next. The entire team was at a loss.

For her first case, Claudia felt a little discouraged, but she could sense that everybody else felt the same. This wasn’t normal for them, being so dumbfounded and sitting so idly. 

Nobody slept that night, just waiting for the call that a body had been found somewhere in the middle of nowhere, in an alleyway, in a dumpster, quite literally anywhere. 

Then, it came. Everybody hopped in the SUV’s and went straight to the scene. Everything was exactly the same here as it was with the last three. They wouldn’t know whose initials were in the throat until the M.E. report came back, which wouldn’t be for hours.

Since they were all here for this body to be examined, and knowing Claudia’s background, Hotch instructed her to come with him to oversee the body pre and post examination. Having an agent with a BS in forensic science and extensive (albeit, sometimes, unapproved) time in the field with the CSI in Philadelphia, was new, useful, and vital and he would like her to be at most if not all of these in the future. 

Taking the lead, she asked, “What were the initials found in this body?”

The M.E. pulled out the evidence bag and handed it over. What Claudia saw made no sense to her.

“E.G.? None of our agent’s initials are E.G., does this mean anything to you?” she handed the  bag to Hotch and saw how the realization hit him like a truck.

“Greenaway,” he handed the bag back to the examiner, “Elle Greenaway. She was an agent back in 2005. If this unsub is sending a message including past agents, our job just got a lot harder.” 

After that discovery, it felt like everything picked up for a few days. There was a media junket, led by Hotch, informing people if they looked like anybody on the screen to be hyper-vigilant, including images of past agents that had since left the team. It felt surreal to warn people that looked like the team to be aware of their surroundings because it was such a subjective judgment to make, but it was the best bet they had of keeping people safe.

Taking it to the news, inevitably, meant Reid found out about it and blew up everybody’s phone. Nobody had answered him, too afraid to unless Hotch did it first. 

When he finally gave in and called Hotch, he answered instantly and stepped away from the group.

“Before you say anything, you were on requested leave, in which I am not permitted nor required to inform you of a case,” Hotch began.

“You are absolutely permitted to inform me of a case, if you see fit, which you should’ve, considering this is taking place in the same town where my mother lives and I am visiting,” Reid countered. He was fuming, Hotch could practically feel his phone lighting on fire.

“Reid, it was my call for nobody to contact you, unless the case picked up, which it hasn’t-” he was cut off by Reid.

“What do you mean it hasn’t? If it hasn’t advanced, why are you still here, and why are you holding press conferences about it? Is my mother at risk? Am I at risk?” 

“Reid, if your mother was at risk, you would’ve been notified immediately, you know that.”

“Do I? Since you’re not permitted or required to tell me while on requested leave, how do I know when and what you will tell me, if at all?”

“You’re being irrational and you need to calm down.”

“I’ll calm down by the time I get there.”

“Reid, no,” but before he could finish what he was going to say, Reid had hung up the phone. Hotch walked back into the room where the team had been set up for the past week.

“Reid is on his way.”

“Is he okay?” JJ asked.

“He’s upset. Not with any of you. If he shows any hostility, don’t take it personally, it’s all meant for me. I’ll deal with him later.”

Claudia had done copious amounts of research on the team before she officially considered joining the BAU. She’d known for a long time she wanted to pursue something like this, but was never certain how big she wanted to go. Once she got her PhD in forensic psychology, she had made up her mind that the FBI was where she needed to be and set to work on figuring out what department to shoot for. After stumbling upon the BAU and reading all she possibly could about the current team, she knew this was the answer to her lifelong question of where she was going to end up. She read any article she could find about any cases they had solved. She read up on Prentiss’ time at INTERPOL, Garcia’s history as a hacker, Morgan’s time in the military with the bomb diffusion unit, all of Rossi’s books, all of Hotch’s closed cases he’d won in court, JJ’s government reviews from the Pentagon, and all of Reid’s clinical essays ranging from god-knows-what to god-knows-what. She’d taken a particular interest in Dr. Spencer Reid. She didn’t know what she had seen in all of his essays, all of his reports that were accessible (via a database Claudia would never admit to having access to, thanks Roy), all of the TedTalks and seminars he’d given that she’d watched, but there was something about him that begged her to pick his brain as soon as she possibly could, doctor to doctor. 

With that, she worked her ass off to be the top performer in her time at the academy and, luckily, her academic credentials preceded her when she met with the director by special request. She needed to be a part of this team. She needed to know all of them on a personal level. Knowing they were profilers, she knew they would see right through her with a glance, so leading up to her time at the academy, she learned to mask her sincerity in a way she’d never been able to. She was used to disguising her real personality for the sake of the people she was around, but she wasn’t used to straight up hiding her genuine emotions from her peers, let alone profilers. She assumed she was doing a good job, considering nobody had given her sideways glances or confused looks, and she was especially proud of the lie she got past Morgan. She wasn’t particularly proud that she was lying to them about how much she knew or what she was really like, but she knew she would let them know, one day. First, she needed them to like her, then she would let them in, once she could trust they wouldn’t judge her. 

She was more than disappointed to see that Spencer was not in the bullpen when Hotch introduced her to everyone, but she knew she’d meet him eventually. Unfortunately, the circumstances in which they were meeting under were not what she had been expecting, she was excited to meet him regardless. 

She was, truthfully, disgusted with what little restraint she felt inside of her when she first saw him storming through the door. She was riddled with excitement that she hoped nobody caught onto. She calmed herself down because she knew he wouldn’t even glance in her direction, much less introduce himself, right now. She just pretended like she had always been on the team, like they’d met a million times before, like she was just seeing her friend who’s been gone for a few weeks. 

Before Spencer even made it into the meeting room, Hotch stopped him in his tracks. 

“You need to take a breath before you go in there and take your anger at me out on somebody else.”

“Hotch, I am calm. You know that isn’t how I behave,” he pushed past Hotch and into the room where only you and Morgan were, “Brief me.”

Morgan hesitated because of Spencer’s hostile behavior, but Claudia jumped right into briefing him on the entire case thus far with that same confidence and ease she showed back in the bullpen, leaving Morgan with his eyebrows raised at how naturally and casually she fit right into the missing piece of the BAU’s puzzle. Hotch just crossed his arms because he knew this is exactly what was going to happen once everybody got to see her in action the same way he had in the academy and in his office that morning. 

Once she had finished getting Spencer up to speed, he nodded his head and said, “Okay. We need to head back to the coroner’s office, I think I know of something we might’ve missed.”

Instead of taking this as an insult, Claudia took it as an ignorance of her education, since he didn’t know who she was. In reality, he did know about her background, but he also knew if anybody had sent the handwriting to be analyzed, she would’ve said that in her brief.

Not missing a beat, she started heading out of the building and to the SUV, following closely behind Spencer, who was handing his theory over to her, and she was still pretending like they had done this for years. Silently thinking to herself she should’ve been an actor. 

As they got into the SUV, with Claudia behind the wheel, Spencer began to ramble, “I think we could find something based on the handwriting. We’ll need to take the evidence and make an analysis. It seems this person is comfortable here in Vegas, so they either have to be a local or somebody who moved here a long time ago. Judging by how random the places they’ve been dumping the bodies are and how much foot traffic those locations get both during the day and at night, this person has to have a keen awareness of when, if ever, these locations are barren and lacking people. Point is, this person could’ve attended school or certainly worked in the city, which would mean there could be handwriting samples anywhere in the city, if we know where to look, which we do, thanks to Garcia.” During his last sentence, he had taken out his phone and called Garcia.

“Garcia, I’m heading back to the coroner’s office with Claudia. I think we may be able to run a handwriting analysis that I’ll need you to run through the entire city of Las Vegas as far back as you possibly can.”

Hearing him say her name and know who she was was a shock she certainly wasn’t expecting. Had somebody told him about her already? That wasn’t farfetched at all. Did he know anything else about her? If he did, he didn’t show it, hell, she didn’t even know he had known who she was. Maybe she wasn’t as good at this as she thought. Granted the game he was possibly playing with her was the same game she was definitely playing with everybody else. She pretended it was completely normal that he knew her name without introducing herself.

“I know it’s a high ask, but you can do it. I’ll send it over the second I get it,” he hung up the phone and continued to ramble, “If that ends up being a dead end, we may just have to follow a paper trail, which won’t be impossible, but I’d have to do it alone while everybody else waits around for me, but I guess that’s all that’s been happening anyway, considering this unsub is not making our jobs any easier, but I suppose that’s part of whatever this insane plan is that they’ve got going on. Has anybody thought about going to the churches? That would also be a dead end, but it’s something we could try. We can’t even come up with a profile to give to these people so it would seem unfair and useless to tell every person in the city to watch their back.”

She sat there in silence, not wanting to interrupt in case he started again. When she said nothing, he looked over at her, confused.

“You didn’t interrupt me. Or tell me to stop.”

Trying to control herself, without looking over at him, she said “Why would I do that?”

“That’s the general reaction people have when I don’t stop talking,” he seemed shy and bashful, now that he was explaining this to her.

“Well, I don’t particularly enjoy when people interrupt me, so I’m not too keen on doing it to others.”

He continued to look at her. Trying to figure out where she was coming from. He noticed she hadn’t reacted when he knew her name, despite having not formally introduced each other, which he found intriguing, to say the least. Truthfully, Morgan had texted him the second after she was introduced to the team, teasing Spencer, saying he had some young, brainiac competition now. Spencer ignored that and had Garcia send over her file. He may or may not have done some of his own research as well. He’d found her dissertation, her four theses, and her handwritten files she made for cases she’d participated on during her time as a CSI agent (thank you, Garcia), and he was certainly very close to admitting that Morgan might have been correct. He had read everything he could possibly find about her right after Morgan told him who she was. He had only meant to read her dissertation, but then he knew she must’ve had a thesis, and upon looking for one, he had stumbled upon four. Each one was even better than the last, but none so eloquent and intuitive as her dissertation. “The effectiveness of integrating forensic psychology to enhance criminal therapy rehabilitation success rates.” He had already committed it to memory and had a laundry list of questions to ask her about it, as well as her theses, which, if you looked close enough, foreshadowed her dissertation beautifully, like they were all apart of a book series, as if she had been planning them from the beginning of her academic career, like she hadn’t needed the degrees, and she just got them for the sole purpose of knowing that getting them would get her ideas published in a dignified way. 

He chuckled at the thought, which prompted her to ask, “What? Is that funny?”

He realized he had never responded to her initial statement, so he responded now, “No, no, not funny at all. Respectable, actually. No, I was just thinking that we haven’t formally met. I’m Dr. Spencer Reid.”

It was her turn to chuckle, “Thank you for the formality, but I already knew that, and it seems you already know who I am as well, but…Dr. Claudia Jessup.” This time, she did glance over at him and gave a tight-lipped smile. 

He smiled and looked down at his hands that he was fidgeting with, “You would be right. Morgan told me about you the morning you were added to the team…and I…might’ve asked Garcia for your file.”

“Oh, really? Got a head start on me, then,” she lied to her teammate for the second time since joining the team, and it didn’t feel any better this time. 

There was a long, comfortable silence after she spoke. Neither of them knew what to say, but both of them desperately wanted to ask the other about the papers they’d written, the research they’d done to write those papers, how they came up with the ideas for those papers, what led them to choose those degrees that required them to write those papers, obsessively wanting to ask every single question they had under the sun about their academic influence and passion, but just as they both got the courage to finally ask a single question they were thinking of, they’d arrived back at the hospital.

_____________________________________________________________

The handwriting analysis turned out to be a dead end, as each note had a different type of handwriting that seemed intentional. Garcia found no trace of the handwriting used in any of the fonts in any Las Vegas directory and Spencer found nothing when it came to a paper trail, even considering every style. Fast as he was, it took him a whole two weeks to get through everything that was sent to him, and in that time one more body had been found after E.G. This one had said K.C. Kate Callahan. The agent who had just left the team. A week after that no body had been discovered. SWAT, CSI, bloodhounds, and local police searched everywhere, but found no trace of any victims matching this unsubs MO on Saturday or the week following. Just like that, the case went cold, and they headed home. Not reassured in the slightest. The fact that two bodies showed up while the team was there and no unsub was found was not going to bode well with the director, but there was nothing that could’ve been done.

Spencer said goodbye to his mom and got on the plane home with everybody. It was secretly an opportunity to pick a certain doctor’s brain, but he’d never let anybody know that was the real reason he didn’t stay a little longer. His requested leave was over anyway. 

Everyone had settled in on the jet except for Claudia. Hotch stopped her on her way to the couch.

“Hey, have a seat.”

Having got to know Hotch a little before all of this started, she felt truly comfortable speaking with him. No anxiety, no fear of lying to him, she felt like for the first time in three and a half weeks she could just be herself.

“Oh no, do you want me to hand in my resignation letter now?” she joked, earning a small breath out of Hotch, acknowledging that he did find that funny.

“No. I want to talk to you about your performance your first time out in the field.”

The aforementioned nervousness was back, and not hidden at all.

“You don’t need to be worried. You did a great job. I need you to know that wasn’t how our cases usually go. There’s never so much waiting around, and we’re normally led in a certain direction rather than stuck at a standstill for so long. Cases don’t usually go cold for us. I don’t want you to think it’ll be like this every time.”

She nodded her head, knowing already that that was not how their cases went (she’d read every case file this team had ever submitted to the database, again, thanks Roy), “Don’t worry, I know. The director wouldn’t have directly sent the team there if he had known it was so…hopeless. Forgive my pessimism, but there’s not another word I could think of.” 

“You’re right. Some cases end poorly, but at least they end. We may or may not have to come back to this later on. I know that you can accept that this might stay open for a while and it might never be solved. I just wanted to reassure you that most of our other cases won’t be like this.”

“Thank you. Not to say I look forward to it, but…”

“I understand. Now go get some rest, you’ve earned it.”

Claudia got up and continued walking toward the couch, putting her headphones in and starting her music before she even sat down. As she got up, Spencer saw that Hotch was finished speaking to her, and got up from his own spot to follow her to the couch, but Hotch had stopped him in his pursuit.

“Reid.”

He halted his forward motion and Hotch gestured for him to sit down.

“I’m not mad at you and I would like to apologize for not telling you sooner. The case seemed like it could’ve been solved sooner and without your input. My intention was to not bother you while you were spending time with your mother, since I know this time is especially important for you to spend with her.”

Spencer wasn’t shocked that Hotch was apologizing, persay, but he was expecting to be given a stern talking-to. His eyebrows rose at the admission, but he thanked Hotch for the apology, anyway. He would know a thing or two about loss. Spencer knew that.

Hotch let him go and he set back to his initial mission: speaking to Claudia.

Had he seen that she had headphones in, he would’ve left her alone, but they were so discreet that he couldn’t tell she had any in underneath her hair. He’d never admit this, but he did, in fact, want to tuck it behind her ears. For no reason besides the ability to know if she had headphones in or not. Obviously.

She’d pulled out a book in the time it took Hotch to speak to him, but he sat down next to her anyway. She noticed this and looked up from the book and took out one headphone, not stopping the music the same way she’d done with Derek. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were listening to something,” he’d started to get up.

“No, it’s fine. Do you need something?” this time, she did pause what she was listening to.

“Not exactly…” he had no idea how to go about telling her she’d written the most glorious dissertation he’d ever seen and needed to know everything about it starting with how she thought of it and ending with her research. 

Meanwhile, Claudia had been thinking, relatively, the same thing. She’d had no intention of asking Spencer about his writings on the way home, but since he approached her, now seemed like the perfect time. Enough time had passed that it would seem reasonable for her to have done research on the team now that she’d been on it for three weeks. It wouldn’t seem weird that she had read his journals, now. 

At the exact same time, they both said:

“I want to talk to you about your dissertation.”

The two just looked at each other, shocked at what had just happened. Both had grins slowly growing on their faces before they both just started laughing. 

With that, they both knew they were going to like “the other doctor.”

chapter two

[gentleseaediting]

To Comma or Not to Comma

THE CORRECT USE OF THE COMMA WHEN JOINING CLAUSES

Should you use a comma before and? What about before yet, then or if? This is one of the trickiest rules of punctuation to apply correctly: whether to use a comma when joining clauses. But do not fear; I am here to help by providing eight tips on this very subject.

Because this is a complex topic, I’ve created a handy flow chart to assist you. You can download it for free, and I would recommend having it at hand as you read through this post.

You can also listen to this post on YouTube or read it on the Gentle Sea Editing website.

FIRSTLY, WHAT IS A CLAUSE?

A clause is a group of words that includes a verb and a subject. So, Sarah writes books is a clause because it includes a verb (writes) and a subject (Sarah). Sarah is my favorite author is a clause, but my favorite author, Sarah is a phrase, because it does not contain a verb. In today’s post, we’re focusing on clauses.

1. COMMAS WITH INDEPENDENT CLAUSES: THE GENERAL RULE

The Chicago Manual of Style (CMoS) indicates that “when independent clauses are joined by and, but, or, so, yet, or any other coordinating conjunction, a comma usually precedes the conjunction.”

Now, you might be asking, “What the hell does that mean?” Don’t worry, I had the same reaction the first time I read it.

An independent clause is a clause that makes sense on its own. It is a complete sentence. It does not depend on another clause to give it meaning. In the sentence Damon drinks blood, because he is a vampire, Damon drinks blood is an independent clause. You can remove the rest of the sentence, and it would still make sense.

Coordinating conjunctions join clauses or phrases of equal importance. So, if you want to join two clauses and show that they are on equal footing, you would use a coordinating conjunction. The list of coordinating conjunctions is represented by the mnemonic “fanboys”: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, and so.

So, according to the general rule, if you want to join two independent clauses, like Taylor wrote the impactful lyrics and Jack produced the beautiful song, with a coordinating conjunction, you should add a comma before that conjunction. Here are some examples:

Taylor wrote the impactful lyrics, and Jack produced the beautiful song.

Taylor wrote the impactful lyrics, but Jack produced the beautiful song.

Taylor wrote the impactful lyrics, so Jack produced the beautiful song.

Taylor wrote the impactful lyrics, yet Jack produced the beautiful song.

This general rule also applies to imperative sentences—sentences that give the reader an instruction, make a request, or issue a command—in which the subject (you) is not expressly stated but understood. Here are some examples:

Help Queen Charlotte climb over the wall, or tell King George to spend time with her.

Buy two tickets to Barbie, and wait for me at the corner of Cornelia Street.

It also applies to questions, for example: Do we want to save Wallachia, or are we scared of Dracula?

2. COMMAS WITH INDEPENDENT CLAUSES: THE EXCEPTION

The English language is a wonderful thing; for every rule, there are plenty of exceptions. The general rule above is no exception.

If the independent clauses you are trying to join are very short and closely connected, the comma preceding the conjunction may be omitted, unless the clauses are part of a series. (See, even the exception has an exception.)

So, if you want to join two independent clauses, like Billie sang and Finneas played the piano, with a coordinating conjunction, you can do so without a comma, because these two clauses are short and closely connected:

Billie sang and Finneas played the piano.

Billie sang but Finneas played the piano.

Billie sang so Finneas played the piano.

This exception also applies to imperative sentences where the subject (you) is omitted but understood, e.g., Get up and stand tall.

However, a comma would still have to precede the coordinating conjunction if you are joining more than two clauses. Here’s an example:

Billie sang, Finneas played the piano, and I watched the show.

So, essentially, you should follow the general rule unless you are joining two very short and strongly related independent clauses.

3. COMMAS WITH COMPOUND PREDICATES: THE GENERAL RULE

According to the CMoS, “a comma is not normally used to separate a two-part compound predicate joined by a coordinating conjunction.”

Just one question: What??? Let's break it down.

What is a predicate? It is the part of a sentence or clause that describes the action but not the subject. So, in the sentence Oppenheimer created the atomic bomb, Oppenheimer would be the subject and created the atomic bomb the predicate.

A compound predicate occurs when two or more verbs share the same subject. So, if a single subject is shared by two or more clauses, and that subject is not repeated after the first clause, you’re dealing with a compound predicate. In the sentence I gambled with Jesper and ate waffles with Nina, the subject of both the predicates gambled with Jesper and ate waffles with Nina, is I. However, I is not repeated after the first clause. So, we’re working with a compound predicate.

Therefore, the general rule is: Do not use a comma when joining a compound predicate with a coordinating conjunction. Here are some examples:

Joe broke up with Taylor Swift and divorced Sophie.

Yennefer wanted to be a mother but could not have a baby.

You should join Jinx or listen to Vi.

4. COMMAS WITH COMPOUND PREDICATES: THE EXCEPTIONS

However, a comma may be necessary to prevent misreading or confusion even if you are joining a compound predicate with a coordinating conjunction. For example, in the sentence I recognized the man who attended the concert, and fainted, the comma before and is necessary to indicate that it is the speaker who fainted, not the man attending the concert. Here are more examples:

He loved the girl who rode a dragon, and wielded shadows.

She dislikes the man who has titanium teeth, but wears Yeezy shoes.

Additionally, you should also use a comma before the word then if it is being used as shorthand for and then even if that comma separates a two-part compound predicate. So, you would write: He attended her show and then gave her a friendship bracelet or He attended her show, then gave her a friendship bracelet.

Finally, the CMoS indicates that “compound predicates of three or more parts treated as a series are punctuated accordingly.” So, if you have a single subject performing three or more actions, you would use a comma before the coordinating conjunction. For example:

Selena attended the Golden Globes, released new music, and became a billionaire.

Victoria published a book, increased her Instagram following, and announced a book tour.

5. COMMAS WITH INTRODUCTORY DEPENDENT CLAUSES

Now that we’ve gotten independent clauses out of the way, let’s talk about dependent clauses. A dependent clause cannot stand as a sentence on its own and is connected to a main, independent clause. So, in the sentence Damon drinks blood, because he is a vampire, because he is a vampire is a dependent clause, since it does not make sense on its own. Subordinating conjunctions—like if, because, whether, or when—are used to join dependent and main clauses.

According to the CMoS, “when a dependent clause precedes the main, independent clause, it should be followed by a comma.” So, when the dependent clause comes first, you separate the clauses with a comma. Here are some examples:

If Sokka trains with Suki, he will become a better warrior.

Because Kim is a successful businesswoman, she gave a lecture at Harvard.

When Nyx is older, he will train with Cassian.

6. COMMAS WITH DEPENDENT CLAUSES THAT FOLLOW THE MAIN CLAUSE

If the main clause is followed by the dependent clause, you have to determine whether the latter is restrictive or nonrestrictive.

The CMoS clarifies that a dependent clause is restrictive if it is “essential to fully understanding the meaning of the main clause.” For example, in the sentence Sokka will become a better warrior if he trains with Suki, it isn’t certain that Sokka will become a better warrior. The dependent clause if he trains with Suki adds information that is vital to understanding the main clause. Therefore, it is a restrictive dependent clause.

If a restrictive dependent clause follows the main clause, you should not place a comma before the conjunction. Here are two examples:

Nyx will train with Cassian when he is older.

Kourtney wasn’t mad because of the fashion show; she was mad because of the timing.

A dependent clause is nonrestrictive if it is not essential to the meaning of the main clause. For instance, in the sentence Margot is a good actress, whether you like her or not, the dependent clause whether you like her or not can be omitted without changing the meaning of the main clause.

If a nonrestrictive dependent clause follows the main clause, the subordinating conjunction should be preceded by a comma. Here are two examples:

I’d like to watch Mean Girls, if you don’t mind.

He arrived hours later, when the movie was already over.

However, sometimes this can be a tricky differentiation to make. Take the sentence Kourtney wasn’t mad because of the fashion show. Without the comma, Kourtney is still mad, just not about the fashion show. Add a comma before because, and the fashion show becomes the reason she’s not mad. The CMoS’s advice? “If in doubt, rephrase.”

7. COMMAS WITH INTERVENING DEPENDENT CLAUSES

When a dependent clause is located between two other clauses, meaning that the two conjunctions are right next to each other, the conjunctions don’t have to be separated by a comma. Here are some examples:

Violet tried to decipher the journal for days, but if Dain had not given her advice, the truth would have remained concealed.

Zuko stood up for the soldiers, and when his father ordered him to fight back, he refused.

They decided that if Percy didn’t return the lightning bolt, he wouldn’t see his mother.

Technically, there’s nothing wrong with adding a comma in between these conjunctions. In fact, it might even be preferred in certain cases for emphasis or clarity.

8. COMMAS WITH RELATIVE CLAUSES

Finally, let’s look at relative clauses. A relative clause provides information about a noun. For instance, in the sentence The book that she wrote years ago was published this year, that she wrote years ago is a relative clause, because it tells us more about the noun (book).

According to the CMoS, “restrictive relative clauses are never set off by commas from the rest of the sentence.” As with dependent clauses, a relative clause is restrictive if it provides information that is crucial to understanding the rest of the sentence. In the example above, the reader wouldn’t have known which book the author is referring to without the relative clause that she wrote years ago, so no commas are used. Restrictive relative clauses are usually introduced by the pronouns that, who, whom, or whose. Here are some examples:

I prefer to support politicians who stand up against genocide.

The joke that he made at the Golden Globes was sexist.

The author whose work I like the most has just released a new book.

This rule applies even when these pronouns are omitted:

The movie I just watched won an Academy Award.

The people we follow on social media have a big impact on our lives.

A nonrestrictive relative clause, on the other hand, is not essential to the identity of the noun to which it refers. In the sentence Sarah’s House of Flame and Shadow, which I finished last night, is a great book, the relative clause which I finished last night can be omitted without changing the meaning of the sentence. So, it is nonrestrictive. Nonrestrictive relative clauses are set off from the rest of the sentence by commas. These clauses are usually introduced by which, who, whom, or whose. Here are some examples:

I prefer to read about scholarly characters, who are less likely to be ignorant.

Madelyn Cline, whose most famous movie is Glass Onion, was seen with Pete Davidson.

The talk show, which recently featured Sydney Sweeney, has celebrities eating spicy food as they answer questions.

So, to sum up (TL; DR):

• If you want to join two independent clauses with a coordinating conjunction, you should add a comma before that conjunction unless the two clauses are short and closely connected.

• Do not use a comma when joining a compound predicate with a coordinating conjunction unless:

o a comma is necessary to prevent a misreading;

o then is being used as shorthand for and then; or

o a compound predicate of three or more parts is being treated as a series.

• If a dependent clause precedes a main, independent clause, add a comma after the dependent clause.

• If a restrictive dependent clause follows a main clause, do not add a comma before the subordinating conjunction.

• If a nonrestrictive dependent clause follows a main clause, you should add a comma before the subordinating conjunction.

• When a dependent clause is located between two other clauses, meaning that the two conjunctions are right next to each other, the conjunctions don’t have to be separated by a comma.

• A restrictive relative clause is not set off with commas.

• A nonrestrictive relative clause is set off with commas.

There you have it; those are the rules for comma usage when joining clauses, at least in terms of the CMoS. In the wise words of Neil Gaiman: “It’s that easy, and that hard.”

For professional editing and proofreading services, head on over to gentleseaediting.com

[oknowkiss]

fic claim: the waiting

for @m0srael & @hd-wireless 2023! with art by the incredible @babooshkart

PAIRINGS: Harry/Draco, Ron/Hermione, brief Harry/Draco/Original Female Characters RATING: E (mutual masturbation, semi-public masturbation, kinda sorta hate sex, group sex, anal sex, blowjobs) WARNINGS: references to depression/grief, allusions to substance abuse (Dreamless Sleep), recreational drug use (weed), drinking, Legilimency with dubious consent, memory confusion, unreliable narrator, angst WORDCOUNT: 43.5 K

Read on A03 here!

TAGS: POV Harry Potter, Curse Breaker Harry & Draco, Curse Breaker Partners, Alternating Timelines, that feeling when you know something is true but everyone else thinks you're out of your mind, Alaska, Enemies to Colleagues to Lovers, Ron Weasley is a really good friend, I’ve decided you can actually buy alcohol at Legoland Summary: It’s been almost ten years since Draco Malfoy disappeared during a routine Curse Breaker training exercise. Harry, his partner in more ways than one, is determined to figure out why. As the past resurfaces and the present fades into confusion, Harry discovers the only thing more unreliable than memory is love.

thank you so much to everyone who made my first wireless a wonderful experience. especially to THE MODS who are beautiful and perfect and so so patient they should be sainted??? To @sorrybutblog and @eveningstruggle who read and busted commas like it was their job. thank you as well to @dumbledoodlewriting and @eggbagelsjr for sharing their real life knowledge and help with names, both of which made this fic so much better than it was. and OF COURSE thank you to @babooshkart who took my random twitter DM and then ran with it, and who has been an utter delight every single moment. one of my favorite parts of writing this was getting to know you better, boo!

a special thank you must also be given to @sweet-s0rr0w for her on the ground investigative work for an element of this story, which she did with me providing zero context as to why i asked, and which i then threw absolutely to the wind. i’m invoking artistic license!

and OF COURSE: thank you to everyone who has read and engaged with this story so far!

finally: a massive MASSIVE thank you to @m0srael for always being lovely, and for prompting such a fantastic song. this fic started with an image of harry and draco on a train, with neko case singing:

climb the boxcars to the engine through the smoke into the sky

your rails have always outrun mine

and, well, the rest was history. or memory. you choose :)