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themonkeycabal · 4 years ago

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WandaVision Ep 3 Spoilers

Yes, there are spoilers below:

Wherein I watch and have some comments. Please let's make some story progress this week. More Weird!

Why can't I skip the previously on? Disney! Oh well, it doesn't matter, Buddrick Meowbert is demanding pets and he's standing in front of my ipad not letting me watch, until I give the chin scratches.nn.n.m,,,,m. . . . . . . . . ?""" (he walked across the keyboard)

Again, loving the opening credits. Though, oh lord, the colors. Late 60s, early 70s, so so so tacky. And, oh dear, Vision's hair. Is it the hair by itself? Or the hair, giant glasses combo? I can't decide.

Blah blah blah, comic wackiness with suddenness of baby, and slightly chauvinistic doctor (wow, where did they find that suit? there's just so much *pattern* going on there). I can't tell if the neighbor chainsawing the cinderblock fence is qualifying as Weirdness? His vacant smile suggests proper Weird.

"Billy? Well, I was thinking Tommy." @hurricanekelsea called it. I award you one fabulous, classic Marvel no-prize. Excelsior!

The whole bit with the braxton-hicks contractions was weird, but not in the proper weird way, but in a 'did we have to' sort of way.

"It seems the people of Westview are always on the verge of discovering our secret." "Yes, I know what you mean. But, it's more than that, isn't it?[…] I think something's wrong here, Wanda."

*gasp* Is Vision figuring it out? Props to Bettany, it's very clear when he makes that momentary transition from sitcom!Vision to real!Vision (for values of 'real' where he may still be a creation of Wanda's powers). And before he gets too far he's reset to the second before he starts to figure it out. I can't tell if Wanda did that or not, though she was looking panicky.

Calgon commercial. I mean, Hydra Soak commercial. So, who are the two people who are always in the commercials? It's the same pair, yes? And now two Hydra commercials. Oh, though, I guess Wanda was kind of part of Hydra for a while. Forgot about that.

Also, a Buddy break.

Wanda's water broke and it's raining inside their house, so they're huddled under the table. Because wacky hijinks. Come on, guys, move this thing along already, will you.

"Well, in fairness, darling, the baby is approximately nine months early." Heh. Vision dashes off to get the doctor.

Weird animal noise in the nursery.

But, first we must take a wacky aside where Wanda tries to hide her very obvious pregnancy from Geraldine who just showed up. I'm glad I don't live in a sitcom, because the thing were people just turn up on your doorstep constantly, would drive me insane. You have a phone, Geraldine! Call ahead! Though, alternately, you could just not answer the door, Wanda. These are a few of the many reasons I can't stand sitcoms. … Anyway

Geraldine makes herself at home after a 'comedic' search for a bucket while Wanda's going into labor and every contraction makes her coat change into a different one. And also a random large bird appears. Is it a Weird Bird or just a weird bird? Oh, it's a stork. I get it. Oh, actual Weirdness! The bird makes a sound and Geraldine snaps out of it. But, then Wanda makes up a story about an ice maker and she goes back to sitcom!Geraldine and the stork attempts to eat the fish pattern off Geraldine's super-fly bellbottoms (actually, her outfit is really great, looks fantastic on her. A+ wardrobe department).

Vision acquires the doctor before he can leave on vacation. Then gives him a piggy-back ride back to the WandaVision household. As you do.

Geraldine discovers the secret as Wanda's labor accelerates. Everything goes haywire and Geraldine prepares to deliver the baby. Wanda is having a "i can't do this" meltdown that feels real and not sitcom.

And the fastest birth ever. Just in time for Vision and the doctor to show up. But wait, little Tommy isn't the only baby on the way. And lo, there is Billy.

The doctor and Geraldine roll with it. Oh, but then the doctor goes a little Weird as he's leaving, despite the laugh track. "Small towns, you know, so hard to escape."

Agnes and Herb are conspiring by the mangled cinderblock fence. Seems sus. "Is Geraldine inside with Wanda?"

"Can you believe it? Twins." "I'm a twin. I had a brother. His name was Pietro." Seems like a real moment. Geraldine is snapping out of it again, as Wanda sings to the babies in Sokovian(?). Ohhh, Geraldine, good job, shake it off, "He was killed by Ultron, wasn't he?"

Herb and Agnes are trying to convince Vision that Geraldine is untrustworthy. "She's new to town, brand new." "No family, no husband. No home."

Wanda doesn't seem pleased with Geraldine. "What did you say about Pietro?" Nice, good, progress. Except now Wanda seems scary and I'm worried for Geraldine.

The Weirdness is escalating! Yay! Herb is trying to tell Vision something but doesn't seem to be able to get it out. Inside Wanda notices Geraldine's necklace, which, you know, looks like that SWORD logo we keep seeing. And Wanda's scariness factor is increasing loads.

Outside, Agnes cuts off Herb before he can say whatever it is he's trying to say "Because, we're all …". And she looks scared. Good guys or bad guys? I can't tell. Since we've determined Geraldine is Monica Rambeau, that says she's the good guy, but Agnes seemed scared by Herb maybe saying the wrong thing to Vision. Which, doesn't scream bad guy to me. Unless she's scared of a big bad. A Hydra big bad? Two Hydra commercials and all. Though, also a Stark toaster one, but that's just funny.

Run Geraldine! Run! Agnes and Herb try to pretend things are normal. Vision goes inside, and Geraldine has vanished and Wanda's being super creepy. Hope you're okay, Geraldine! This is why you don't drop by people's houses unannounced.

Oh, she got expelled from the sitcom world into the real world, looks like. *phew* Also, yay, the real world! She was puked out into a field next to what looks like some sort of military encampment, and yet they still converged her on with multiple black SUVS and a helicopter. lol. Overkill, guys, she was like 50 yards away from your front door.

And we end with, oh lol, "Daydream Believer". A+ music choice. And, I think that answers that. It's not WandaVision, it's Wandavision.

Okay, I liked this episode MUCH better. Solid progress, good creepy, tolerable sitcom bits because they felt better blended with the Weird. *This* is the show I was hoping for from the trailers. Good job, everybody. And great job Olsen for making me remember how scary Scarlet Witch could be.

#wandavision #wandavision spoilers #wandavision liveblog

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duhragonball · 5 years ago

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Dragon Ball Z Movie 11: Bio-Broly

Sigh...

Okay, Bio-Broly.

The 11th DBZ movie premiered on July 9, 1994, as part of the Toei Anime Fair. This would have been right after Episode 232 aired, but before Episode 233. So a fan in 1994 could watch Majin Buu hatch from his magic ball, then go to the theater to see this movie, and then see Buu begin wrecking everyone’s shit.

This is widely regarded as one of the worst, if not the worst Dragon Ball movie. In 2015, Team Four Star made a list of the top 24 movies and specials, and Bio-Broly was at #21, beating out various specials, the live-action movies, and its sister film, “Broly: Second Coming.” The only real surprise was that they ranked Movie 11 above Movie 10, but I think they made a pretty good argument for that. Movie 10 is pretty darn bad. I think 11 is worse, but I’ll admit it’s a close call.

Does anyone actually like this movie? I don’t just mean “Does anyone think it’s pretty okay?” To be honest, I’ve been looking forward to watching this one again, and there’s some cute moments and decent action in this one. It’s a DBZ movie. There’s a lot of worse things I could be watching instead. I’ll take “Bio-Broly” over a Harry Potter film festival any day. When I say Movie 11 sucks, that’s kind of dishonest of me, because it just sucks compared to the rest of Dragon Ball.

No, what I’d like to know is, is this movie anyone’s favorite, or near-favorite? My assumption has always been that Movie 11 is in everyone’s bottom three. But you never know. Team Four Star’s Kaiser Neko loves Movie 2, and hates Movie 6, and that blew my mind when I found that out. He’s wrong of course. Meta-Cooler is rad, and Dr. Wheelo is dumb, but it just goes to show that there’s no accounting for taste. So I’m just throwing the question out there. There must be someone out there who really digs Bio-Broly. They’re fascinated with Lord Jaguar, and the purple slime, or they’re just super-into Android 18. Maybe this was one of the first DBZ things you saw, or you saw it at an early age, and it left a lasting impression. If you’re out there, drop me a line. I’d be interested to hear your perspective.

But for now, I’m here to rip this movie a new one, so if this is your favorite one, be warned.

So, just to make my case, I’d like to skip ahead to the ending of the movie and start there. Bear with me for a moment.

On the Grand Kai Planet, Goku’s eating lunch, when he gets word that Broly is running amok in hell, and King Kai wants him and Pikkon to go down there and beat his ass.

Somehow, Bubbles is the one relaying the message to Goku, and I have no idea how, since he can’t talk.

Anyway, Goku’s ready to rock.... just as soon as he finishes eating, wokka wokka. Goku, you rascal!

And that’s how the movie ends. We’re not going to get to see Goku fight Broly in hell. I’m pretty sure this epilogue was only included to work Goku into the film, and to establish that Broly will never bother anyone ever again.

The thing is, wouldn’t you like to see Goku and Pikkon fight Broly in hell? Wouldn’t you rather see that than what we ended up getting in Movie 11? Because Movie 11 doesn’t actually feature Goku or Broly. They’re both dead. Vegeta and Piccolo aren’t in this movie either. Gohan isn’t in this movie.

And this is why Movie 11 ticks me off so much. Maybe it’s objectively better than Movie 10, but at least Movie 10 was up front with you. It attempted to act as a sequel to Movie 8. Broly comes back, and it’s up to Gohan, Goten, Trunks, and Videl to deal with him in Goku’s absence. It’s not very good, but it at least delivers on the promise of a second Broly fight. Movie 11, on the other hand, is trying to do a Broly movie without Broly. Worse, the movie seems determined to rub my nose in it.

I mean, let’s take a look at all the major characters in Movie 8.

Broly

Paragus

Goku

Vegeta

Future Trunks

Gohan

Piccolo

In Movie 10, that list gets whittled down to this

Broly

Gohan

To be sure, I think that’s part of the point of Movie 10. A lot has changed over the years, and when Broly wakes up, he’s lost in a world that’s moved on. It’s up to Gohan to finish up his father’s old business. The problem is that a lot of what made Movie 8 so good lay in those jettisoned characters. It was Paragus who laid the insidious trap for Vegeta. It was Future Trunks who went along just to investigate and save his father from his own ego. It was Goku’s presence that sent Broly into an epic meltdown. It was Piccolo who bought them time, and got Vegeta to shake off his fear and join the fight. It was Vegeta who put aside his pride and gave Goku the power he needed to win the day. When Movie 10 cut all of those characters, they cut out most of what made the first Broly movie work so well. By himself, Broly was reduced to a dopey monster.

In Movie 11, the Movie 8 cast was pared down even further. Here’s a list of all the Movie 8 main characters who were major players in Movie 11.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yeah, there is no list, because they’re all gone. Goku makes a cameo in Movies 10 and 11, but that hardly counts. Krillin appears in all three movies, but only in a supporting role. Kid Trunks is in all three movies, but he’s a baby in the first one. In the second one he doesn’t even know who Broly is.

I’m not pointing this out to knock the main cast of “Bio-Broly”. My point is just that they tried to do a second and third Broly movie without the character dynamics that made the first one work. What’s the point of having Android 18 fight a clone of Broly? She doesn’t even know who that is. If you’re going to do an 18 movie, have her fight a clone of Dr. Gero, or Cell. At least then there’d be some impact.

Okay, let’s get into this. This movie is essentially a continuation of Episode 226 of the anime, where 18 offered to take a dive so Mr. Satan could win the 25th Tenakichi Budokai. All he had to do was pay her 20 million zeni, which is twice as much as the grand prize for the tournament. But Mr. Satan’s rich, so I guess he could afford it, and he agreed to her terms. In this movie, 18 has dropped by his mansion to collect. Krillin and Marron are waiting outside with Goten and Trunks. Apparenly Krillin had promised to treat them to lunch once 18 got her money.

Meanwhile, this other dude lands on the property in an air-limo, and as soon as he steps out of the car, his pants fall down and he falls in the pool while trying to catch his hat. This is Menmen, and I really don’t know what the deal is with this guy. They seemed determined to give him lots of gags and personality, except he really isn’t important enough to the story to justify that effort.

So while 18 is breaking stuff and demanding her payment, Menmen just waltzes right into the room and issues Satan a formal challenge. Satan brushes the guy off, until he mentions that Mr. Satan wet the bed in 6th grade.

That’s when Satan realizes that Menmen’s cousin must be his childhood friend, Lord Jaguar. Well, that’s what he’s called in the dub. In the original version, he’s called “Baron Jaga Batta”, which is apparently a wordplay involving potatoes. The Japanese word for “baron” resembles another word for a type of potato, and “jaga batta” means “Buttered Potato”. He also lives in “Mei Queen Castle”, and this is a reference to May Queen potatoes. I always thought “Lord Jaguar” was a little too badass a name for the guy, and now I see the truth. I’ll keep calling him that, though.

For some reason, the two of them get down on the floor while they talk about this. The story is that Satan and Jaguar both studied martial arts as children, but when Satan defeated him, Jaguar gave up fighting, and he’s never heard from him since. Also, at some point Satan must have pissed his futon and Jaguar found out about it, so now he’s blackmailing Mr. Satan. If he refuses the challenge, Jaguar plans to go to the press and reveal to the world that Mr. Satan is a bedwetter. Honestly, would anyone even believe that? Would anyone care? Well, Mr. Satan doesn’t want to chance it, so he accepts the challenge. Only he won’t be fighting Jaguar, but a team of Bio-Warriors he’s assembled. As long as they don’t have glowing golden hair, Satan likes his odds, so he’s down to clown.

But 18 is not. Well, specifically, she doesn’t seem to care if Satan fights these guys, just so long as she goes with him, to make sure he doesn’t try to run out on her without paying. I don’t really understand this. Why should 18 bother with any of this? She wants the money, and she seems to think Mr. Satan has the money, so why let him leave the house at all? For that matter, if Jaguar’s in such a hurry, Menmen could probably cut her a check to get her to stand aside.

So 18 tells Krillin to head home with the kids while she sticks with Satan. But Goten and Trunks have stowed away in the trunk of Menmen’s car, because... I dunno, I guess whoever wrote this part watched Speed Racer that day.

Krillin could fly after them and fetch Goten and Trunks, but Marron has to go potty. He runs inside Satan’s house to find a toilet, but the dialogue indicates that he doesn’t make it in time. So here’s another reason this movie is the worst: Piss jokes as a running gag. It’s not that DBZ doesn’t indulge in this sort of humor from time to time, and honestly, I’m down for a good piss gag once in a while. Hey, we all gotta go sometime. But this movie is just relentless with it, like it doesn’t know how to do anything else.

I don’t get why Goten and Trunks are so fascinated with this trip to Jaguar’s place. I mean, they get a gorgeous view of the ocean this way, but they could have done this by flying under their own power. Anyway, cool dolphins.

"Tee hee! What if this seawater was pee?” -- The screenwriter, probably.

And here’s May Queen Castle. A little ostentatious, don’t you think?

When they arrive, we see all these nude, bug-eyed dudes working out in the courtyard. These are the Bio-warriors, not to be confused with the Bio-Warriors from Movie 2, which were also very stupid. Jaguar comes out to greet Satan, and he’s astonished to see Jaguar looking so out of shape. Also, he probably hasn’t grown since they last saw each other, but whatever.

While they talk, Goten and Trunks are snooping around, and they encounter Jaguar’s dog, Hei. I think Hei is supposed to be some sort of genetically engineered creature like the Bio-Warriors, but he might just have a very stylized design, kind of like Commander Red’s weird-looking cat. Anyway, Goten calms the dog down because he’s good with animals.

There’s a cute gag here where the boys overhear Jaguar talking about the biotechnology used to create the Bio-Warriors, and Trunks tells Goten that biotechnology is genetic engineering, which he knows because his mother and grandfather are scientists. Goten asks what genetic engineering is, and Trunks is stumped, so he just says it’s biotechnology. Goten is young enough that he is impressed by this answer.

I don’t know, maybe I should take the time to explain this properly. I learned about DNA from G.I. Joe cartoons, and I think Jurassic Park was a popular enough movie that everyone’s familiar with the concept, but just in case: Living things are made up of many, many cells, and each cell contains DNA, molecules whose structure represents the “instructions” for building a particular organism. In theory, if you had a sample of DNA, you could use it to grow an entirely new specimen of the creature it came from, which is called a clone. Or you could modify the DNA to produce a different creature. This is what people talk about when they say “GMO’s” with regards to food. A lot of modern agriculture relies on crops that have been genetically modified to resist disease or to produce more food. It creeps people out because they’re used to thinking of genetic engineering as mad scientists making horrible monsters, like in this movie. But the reality is that humans have been genetically modifying organisms for thousands of years. Breeding dogs and cattle to favor certain trait is just another kind of genetic engineering. The apples we eat are grown through asexual grafting rather than by planting seeds. Most of the fruits we know of look completely unlike the wild versions they originated from.

Anyway, Jaguar leads Satan to a battle stage, and Trunks and Goten like the look of the place, but then they notice someone familiar next to Jaguar...

It’s Maloja from Movie 10. As you may recall, he was the guy who wore a purple tie around his head and convinced the people of Natade Village to sacrifice their children to appease the mountain god.

So here’s the thing. I watched this movie before I saw Movie 10, mainly because I had no idea that this would be a direct sequel. “Return of Cooler” was the first movie to follow the plot from the one before it, but “Bio-Broly” is the first one to act as the sequel to a sequel. So when Goten and Trunks reognized this guy and had a flashback about him, I was amazed.

Anyway, the Bio-Warriors are way too strong for Mr. Satan, so he asks 18 to take care of them in his place. For some reason, he told Jaguar that she was his star pupil, and she didn’t see any reason to dispute this. 18 agrees to save his bacon, but it’ll cost him another 20 million zeni.

Jaguar isn’t so keen on that idea, because this is his show, and he wants to organize brackets for this. I have no idea how that diagram is supposed to work. Is this some sort of round robin thing? We’ll be here all week...

But 18 insists on a battle royal, much like the one she fought in during the 25th Budokai. Jaguar objects, but then Goten and Trunks offer to participate as well, and I guess that satisfies Jaguar, since there’d be an equal number of fighters on each side?

He asks the Bio-Warriors to make a “village fest”, and 18 corrects him by saying he wants a “bloodfest”. That’s the gag with Jaguar. He says the wrong words sometimes, and someone has to correct him. I have no idea why.

Anywy, Satan’s group wins without Mr. Satan even having to get involved. Maloja takes this as his cue to leave, but Jaguar insists that he stick around while he plays his “trump card”.

Satan tells him to bring it on, since he figures no one could be any match for his squad.

Then Jaguar has the walls of this arena lift up to reveal a vast scientific complex all around them. This is impressive to see, but I don’t get why it should change anything. He just uses this to grow Bio-Warriors, and we already saw how those did.

Then the movie kind of goes off the rails a bit. Instead of just unleashing his best fighter, Jaguar just kind of sits there while Goten and Trunks take a tour of the facility. They look at the Bio-Warriors growing in tanks, and talk to the scientists.

Then they spot one specimen with a tail and...

Yeah, it’s Broly.

Again, this was a shock to me, because I hadn’t seen Movie 10 when I first watched this, so it was weird that Goten and Trunks knew who Broly was, and that they had fought him before. He’s supposed to be dead, so what’s the deal?

Ah, good another piss joke. Just what we needed.

While Jaguar’s scientists very slowly release his next fighter, Goten and Trunks confront Maloja, figuring that he must have something to do with Broly. Maloja explains that when they showed him up in Movie 10, he lost the confidence of the Natade villagers, and he couldn’t find work anywhere else.

Apparently, Maloja witness the fight in Movie 10, and knew that Broly had been killed. But then he found the space pod that brought Broly to Earth, and discovered some of his dried blood inside. He took a sample and sold it to Jaguar, whose scientists used it to create a clone of Broly.

I find all of this pretty hard to swallow. The only part that makes sense is that Maloja might have watched Broly die and that he would have become fascinated enough with Broly to discover his pod.

The rest, not so much. How did Maloja know about Jaguar? Did he just stroll up to the front door of May Queen castle with a beaker of blood crust in his hand? How do the scientists know that their Broly clone is so much stronger than the other Bio-Warriors? None of these characters know anything about Saiyans or ki.

Goten and Trunks ask him why he would do all of this, after seeing the terrible power of the original Broly. Maloja knows what’ll happen when they release the clone, which is why he’s cutting out now. Okay...

One reason I wanted to watch the movies and TV episodes in order was to get a handle on what the movies were referencing. Obviously, 18′s business with Mr. Satan is a direct reference to the 25th Budokai, but in addition to that, there is a similiarity between Jaguar’s relationship with Broly and Babidi’s with Majin Buu. They’re both little creeps who seek to unleash forces they don’t understand, all to settle a petty grudge. Like Babidi, Jaguar is convinced that he has full control over the situation. Like Gohan against Buu, Goten and Trunks decide that their best bet is to destroy Broly with a Kamehameha before he can wake up.

Except the clone is already aware of his surroundings, and when he senses Goten and Trunks powering up their attack, he bursts out of his tank in full-on Legendary Super Saiyan form. All the green glop that was in the tank with him sort of stays put for a second, and then spills away.

The scientists, led by Dr. Kori and Nain, have a contingency for this, and they raise a containment wall around the broken tank. The thing is, they seem more worried about the culture fluid than the Super Saiyan who was soaking in it.

Naturally, Clone-of-Broly breaks out easily, spilling green glop everywhere.

Then he turns into a glop monster himself.

Annnnnd here’s Bio-Broly, folks. Drink it in.

Hei runs up and starts barking at Bio-Broly, but before they can fight, Hei gets too close to the culture fluid that’s spilling all over the platform they’re on. Hei is immediately dissolved and abosrbed into it.

So here’s the deal with the culture fluid. Inside the tanks, it’s not a problem. But when it’s exposed to the air, it turns into a mindless monster like the Blob, consuming other life forms and replicating uncontrollably. I guess that answers one of the things that’s bugged me for years. I never understood why this fluid was so dangerous, yet they soak all of their monsters in it. Apparently it’s only dangerous in the presence of air. And I guess this is why it didn’t alter Clone-Broly’s appearance until he stepped out of the tank.

On the other hand, why didn’t it kill the clone completely, the way it killed Hei?

Lord Jaguar doesn’t seem to care about Bio-Broly’s appearance or the leaking culture fluid. He just wants Bio-Broly to beat up Mr. Satan. In turn, Satan asks 18 to handle this, and she agrees, for another 20 million. I’ve lost track of his tab, but I think he’s up to 60 million zeni.

But 18 quickly realizes that Bio-Broly is too much for her to handle, and Jaguar sends him to attack Mr. Satan.

Goten and Trunks rescue him...

...And they charge into battle.

Of course, there’s still the culture fluid to worry about. As the three of them fight, they wreck the whole facility, which causes even more purple glop to spill out. Fortunately, most the casualties are Bio-Warriors, and the dumbass scientists who should have known better.

So in the last movie, the original Broly pretty much kicked the crap out of Goten and Trunks, and the only reason they lasted as long as they did was because Broly was too dumb to finish them off. This time, the boys don’t have Gohan to help them, but it doesn’t seem to matter much, because they can read Bio-Broly’s moves a lot more easily. In other words, Bio-Broly is clearly weaker and slower than the original. By itself, that isn’t such a bad thing. The bad guy needs to be weaker because he’s fighting weaker opponents: Goten, Trunks, and 18. So at least this movie took the time and effort to explain why this battle is more even than the ones in Movies 8 and 10. Maybe it was the cloning process, or the culture fluid, or some other issue, but this clone of Broly isn’t as strong as the original one.

But that’s still a let-down, because the general pattern with these DBZ films is to raise the stakes, nor lower them. There’s some counter-examples to this, notably Hirudegarn in Movie 13. But at least Hirudegarn was a whole other character. If Janemba had returned from Movie 12, and Goku beat him without using fusion, then he would clearly be weaker than he was in Movie 12. And what would the point of that be? Why bring a villain back if he’s going to be weaker than his last appearance?

As much as I hate how they keep bringing back Frieza, as least they’ve handled him properly. Mecha-Frieza was much stronger than the original version, and the only reason he died so quickly was because Trunks was that much stronger When he came back in Movie 15, he got a new form to allow him to keep up with Goku and Vegeta. A weaker Frieza would be pointless. You might as well introduce a new character. But that’s basically what they did with Broly. He had a strong start, and then he came back weaker in Movie 10, and even weaker in Movie 11. I mean, it’s not even really Broly this time, but you get the idea. Toei went out of their way to clone him just so he could return for a third appearance.

Meanwhile, Jaguar’s island is getting overrun with purple glop. I don’t know if this is because new glop got spilled during the fight, or if the stuff we started with has had time to grow.

Maloja supposedly bugged out, but he’s actually been somewhere in Jaguar’s home, filling a sack with cash. Was this the money Jaguar paid him, or is he just stone cold robbing Jaguar before he leaves? Either way, the purple glop drips in from the vent and kills him.

A bunch of scientists try to escape in an elevator, only for it to get stuck and flooded with purple glop.

Back at the fight, things go haywire for Goten and Trunks because they can only hold off Bio-Broly by working as a team. When Goten wanders off to rescue people from the culture fluid, Trunks gets his ass kicked.

18 tries to step in and help, but she gets overwhelmed. Then Krillin shows up and pulls her out of harm’s way just in the nick of time.

Krillin’s the best, but he still can’t save this movie.

Bio-Broly nearly shoots them with green hand energy...

But then Mr. Satan falls on Bio-Broly, distracting him long enough for Goten and Trunks to step in.

Honestly, that’s the problem I have with this fight. It’s pretty well-produced, with some good action sequences and nice teamwork between all the players, but so much of it is played off as slapstick. 18′s the only serious one here. Krillin’s kind of a sidekick, and Satan’s comic relief, and Goten and Trunks are as chilidish as they are strong. On the other side, you’ve got Bio-Broly, who literally has no motivation here at all. I assume he’s only fighting on instinct. He was literally born today.

Apparently Jaguar draws the line at murder, so he commands Bio-Broly to stand down. Only Bio-Broly just attacks him instead. Was he ever under Jaguar’s control? Who cares?

Krillin throws a Kienzan disc to save Goten...

But Bio-Broly’s head just reattaches itself after getting cut off. D’oh!

Things look pretty bad at this point. Goten and Trunks can’t fight and save people at the same time. Then Trunks realizes that he might be able to use one crisis to solve the other.

First, he moons Bio-Broly, because of course he does.

Then he lures him over to a vessel of culture fluid and blasts it open so it’ll spill on to the jerk when he approaches.

It doesn’t spill right away, but then it finally does, and Bio-Broly is covered in purple glop.

Although, I don’t understand why this should work, since Bio-Broly was already exposed to this stuff from the beginning. Why should it kill him now?

Well, it doesn’t exactly. A big purple Bio-Broly emerges from the glop like it’s going to attack Goten and Trunks....

But then it sort of collapses, like this was Bio’s last gasp or something.

When Goten recovers, Trunks explains that he beat Broly with his strongest muscle... his brain. Up yours, Trunks, this is Dragon Ball Z. Nobody wants to see you outsmart the villain. Especially when the villain is mindless to start with.

Anyway, there’s still purple crap all over the place. I guess it must be self-replicating, because I don’t see why they would have had this much of it on hand.

The gang evacuates the survivors. Krillin carries Nain to safety, and gets her to hold on tight.

18 is not amused. Hey, who’s watching their kid right now? Master Roshi? That’s a terrible idea.

Trunks saves Jaguar and Menman, and Jaguar is amazed that anyone would bother to rescue him, since he’s responsible for the plot of Movie 11. “Look,” Trunks tells him, “this movie is bad, but it’s not nearly as terrible as ‘Hocus Pocus’ or ‘Seven Pounds.’“

Everyone crowds onto boats that put as much distance from the island as possible. Why is there a child here? Did the scientists have their families on this island?

But that still doesn’t solve the problem of the culture fluid. Dr. Kori theorizes that its power increased when it absorbed Bio-Broly, making it even more aggresssive than it was before. It’ll eventually expand until it covers the entire world.

Meanwhile, Mr. Satan is trying to swim away from the stuff, and as he kicks up seawater, he splashes it on the glop, which causes it to solidiy.

Goten notices this and realizes that seawater will deactivate the fluid. I always thought that was a little too convenient, but now that I know it only becomes dangerous when exposed to air, that makes a little more sense. Cover it in enough water, and it can’t get the air it needs to sustain it.

So the boys and Krillin fire off a Kamehameha at the shore, which kicks up a big enough wave to flood the entire island. You know, I once saw a T-shirt based on this scene at a Hot Topic, if you can believe it.

I don’t see why they needed to do this at all, though. The fluid was already confined to an island, so it would have just died off on its own after absorbing all the available biomatter, right? But I guess it’s better to resolve this sooner than later.

Then another giant Purple Glop Bio-Broly rises up out of the water.

And it immediately solidifies. This is stupid. They already pulled this gag earlier, so why would anyone believe it now, after they’ve already killed the monster twice over?

Goten and Trunks blast it to pieces anyway, just to be safe.

And we’ll never see Broly again! Until 2018. Thankfully, Broly IV was a much better movie than this turkey.

Below, Mr. Satan pleads for someone to pull him out of the water. 18 offers to help him....for 40 million zeni. Damn, girl. 18′s the coldest bitch in the land, and she’s adorable.

Anyway, Mr. Satan swims away, which I can only assume means he can’t afford to pay. The thing is, I think 18 kind of has to save him. I mean, if he drowns, she can’t collect any money from him, right?

From there, we get that scene I already talked about with Goku and Bubbles, and that’s the end of the movie.

The end credits here are notable, because they feature original animation of Goten and Trunks’s early childhoods. I’ve seen people on the internet ask where these are from, and the answer is here, in th closings credits of this movie.

And yeah, there’s another piss joke. Great job, Movie 11.

On a personal note, the ending theme “Dragon Power Mugendai“ is what inspired the name of this blog, “Duhragonball”, because the refrain is “DORAGON! DORAGON POWAA” which sounds a lot like “Duh-ragon”, and I thought that would be cute.

And that’s it for Movie 11. Not a complete trainwreck by any means, but still a very poor showing by DBZ standards. These movies really took a bad turn starting with Bojack, but it’s over now. In March 1995, Toei would premier a new movie. One that would be better than ten Super Bowls. But we’ll get to that...

#dragon ball #2019dbliveblog #dbmovieliveblog #bio broly #goku #goten #trunks #android 18 #krillin #mr satan #bubbles #marron #maloja #lord jaguar #menmen #dr kori #nain #hei

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curioussubjects · 5 years ago

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Non-jittery Thoughts on 15.01

Alright, had some time too calm the hell down, so I could have thoughts beyond a keysmash and a crying emoji. Chances are, too, that I’ll have more to say once I sit down with the episode again. Had to get these initial reactions/musings out of the way first.

This episode did a bang up job setting up the personal plot points for tfw. I’m super excited to see where this is going: Dean’s hell trauma revisited, Sam’s wound and its connection to his own darkness, Cas still struggling with belonging, Dean and Cas’s continuous wrongfootedness coming to a head. It’s going to be a killer of a season emotionally, and I am Here. For. It.

Full disclosure: the biggest chunk is destiel related. In my defense, Dabb & co. didn’t have to enable me, but here we are.

More thoughts under the cut.

General Thoughts:

My hype was not squashed! We got a really strong season opener and I’m so happy about it. Sure, we got running ghosts. But overall the episode was incredible; just a solid SPN episode all around. A+ job and kudos to all involved ♥♥♥

The new title card is gorgeous and full of meta potential goodness. See this post for more on that; op hit it on the head I think. For additional analysis, there’s this post from different op that is killer.

Opening sequence with tfw fighting zombie ghosts and running for shelter? Amazing. Showstopping. Breathtaking.

Dean’s grief over Jack that’s embroiled in his grief for Mary. Just. “He was our kid.” That’s some complicated shit right there.

Gotta love all the tidbits hinting at what is to come during 15.a, at the very least, if not the larger goal of the season. Reading y’all’s thoughts on the episode has been great so far, and I can’t wait to see what else crops up this week.

On Sam: Currently, Sam’s role in the more interesting aspects of the plot continue to not quite match Dean’s, which has been a problem for a while. I’m seriously hoping that changes some with Eileen’s return, Rowena coming in with some banter maybe next week, and whatever weird curse Sam got with that bullet wound. I’m loving the potential and I’m loving the prospect of having Sam brought back to the center of the plot. I missed some more emotional involvement from him this episode, too, but that should be addressed once things calm down and Sam and Dean can debrief. However, we got peak Sam in a crisis and it’s always a treat to see him do his job. Bless. Him telling the clown to shut up made my night. I love him so much.

On Belphegor: First off, Alex did such a fantastic job. I giggled a ridiculous amount. Instantly invested in the character as bringer of shenanigans. Was not disappointed. Quick deliciously meta tidbits about Belphegor, some of which may not feature in the show, but are still *chef’s kiss* (x):

Moabite deity responsible for fertility and sexual power (in case the ep wasn’t clear on that lmao)

was worshiped in the form of a phallus (so glad that made it to canon jfc)

is a fallen angel??? hello???

he’s the demonic embodiment of sloth, BUT specifically negligence and apathy (i am screaming isnt negligence the whole ordeal with dean and cas atm...and apathy was the problem with jack’s soulessness)

rules misogyny and licentious men (yeah ok no wonder he was a fan of younger dean oof)

the juiciest: emerged from hell to investigate marriage among humans (and is conveniently in the peanut gallery of dean and cas’s fight. funny how that happens. hilarious, even.)

apparently after living as a man to experience sexual pleasure he was appalled and fled back to hell where sex between men and women wasn’t a thing i’m??? what?? (yet in the show he seemed ok with hot dudes ayy)

I’m glad my “horny on main” observation turned out to be so on point jesus. Can’t help but wonder how long he’s gonna stick around. His outside perspective is amusing, at the very least. However, the fact that he barely interacted with Sam, but was a lot interested in Dean as well as Cas (though to a lesser extent) makes me think that he’s doing more than just deus exing them out of zombies and ghosts or offering hell exposition. Seems like he going to expose SOME OTHER STUFF. ABOUT DEAN (AND CAS?). He is the “Lord of Opening” after all. And isn’t using their words and being honest the thing we’re all waiting for wrt to DeanCas?? There’s some opening up that is necessary posthaste. Listen, I know I’ve been saying they need a marriage counselor, but this is not what I had in mind. Pretty on brand, though, I guess lol

I’m also really interested about the coding work the character is doing in continuing to queer Dean’s characterization. Belphegor being himself associated with (male) sexuality, and the show clearly focusing on his attraction to humans of the man variety. I wouldn’t even call it subtextual at this point as Belphegor’s interaction with Dean in the car to was really overt. My hopes that the show might actually be explicit about Dean’s bisexuality is uhhhh getting high again *confetti.* Should also maybe at least note that using a demon to do this is probs not like the best strategy, but at least said demon was 1. not skeevy and 2. mostly sympathetic to the audience.

This is all assuming, ofc, that Belphegor is not catfishing tfw (there’s precedence, after all -- and kudos to anon and op for the timely observations).

On Dean & Cas: I think it’s really damn telling that so much space was given to their relationship as like the most important thing going on with their characters? Obviously they have individual issues to deal with (their own struggles with Chuck, revisiting Dean’s stint in hell....which btw also eventually involves Cas too so *hands*), but my sweet baby jesus the validation feels good. Onwards.

We actually have a weird amount to unpack here because, as others have said, the tension between them is coming from more than just Mary and Jack -- though Mary and Jack are absolutely the main stressors atm as well as emblematic of problems they’ve had for a long long time.

I’m gonna start with Dean because boy do I love that dumbass; I want to shake him. So we have Dean: he’s grieving Mary, he’s angry, he’s scared, he’s lashing out. It’s a Thursday. We know he’s angry with Cas because he blames him for Mary’s death, even if indirectly. You know what that reminds me of? Dean hating Jack for causing Cas’s death, even though it wasn’t directly Jack’s fault. More importantly, though, both the loss of Mary and the loss of Cas were caused by the same catalyst: Cas going off on his own to solve a problem instead of asking Dean (and Sam, but really, mostly Dean) for help. Like, it’s the one thing Dean has very clearly expressed that Cas needs to stop doing (hi 12x19). It’s the same mistake Cas has been making for years. There was a false sense of security there during seasons 13 and most of 14, but alas. Again, here we have Dean losing someone because Cas couldn’t just come ask him for help. Like. It makes sense, and it’s understandable, despite Dean’s coping mechanisms being shit. In short, Dean’s actual problem with Cas is less that Mary is dead and more that Cas refuses to learn his lesson wrt them being stronger as a unit rather than doing their own thing and putting themselves and others in unnecessary danger.

Meanwhile, we have a continuation of Cas just being really sad and heartbroken because not only is Jack dead, but he’s once again unsure about his standing with Dean. He wants to protect his family, he wants to protect Dean, he wants to come back with a win; once more, he goes off on his own to do it and it blows up in his face somehow. As much as I loved Cas getting mad at the end of last season, I get why he’s somewhat subdued again. He has his guilt and grief and doubt to deal with. He doesn’t want to be mad at Dean probably about as much as he doesn’t want Dean to be mad at him. So far I’m not yet seeing the return of the spark we got when Cas was defending Jack last season, but I’m sure Dean walking out rattled him beyond the hurt. I wanna see what else happens to make him leave “in a huff” (a bit of spec on this further down). That said, what I’m most excited about is seeing how Cas gets reintegrated into the family -- pretty sure that’s universal lol.

The juiciest part now, though: I was all about the interplay of distance and care that we saw between them; let’s pause here for a quick sec to appreciate how that same interplay has been such a central part of Dean and Cas’s relationship since always like ugh. So much of the larger plot points in the show have also been situations that kept them from being truly partners as well as being constant interruptions on their ability to USE THEIR FRIGGIN’ WORDS AAAACK. We give Sam a lot of flack, but everything has awful timing in this show. We’ve had moments of honesty and vulnerability, but they’re always always cut short before we actually get somewhere; before they arrive at a place where they can talk about their issues. If the “are you ok” scene isn’t a perfect microcosm of that idk what is /sigh

So, yeah, the “Are you ok” scene oooh boy. I wasn’t as excited as some of you at this scene being an example that Dean still cared, as that was never a doubt I had in my mind (it was definitely a yes omg just talk jesus moments nevertheless). Dean couldn’t possibly just turn that shit off, no matter how much he thinks he’s done with Cas. Like, please. What we do have is Dean indulging on his own need to know that Cas is, at least, immediately fine. Triage, if you will. Him walking off before Cas can either elaborate, or, most likely, tell him about Sam, is peak Dean passive-aggressiveness. The meltdown I had in the tags of a gifset of the scene is still relevant:

#cas's little sigh of idk relief???#like he's so sad and physically fine but he's SO SAD and heartbroken#and here's dean finally not just being cold to him and ASKING ABOUT HIS WELLBEING#look at cas's face in tht second gif my heart#you can see him gd relax too i cant#and dean has his fucking check in during a break in the chaos face#im so mad#jdhakjsdfhklsd#and then dean just.........walks away and doesnt actually debrief or help or none of the things he would do#and cas is just...there all vulnerable and upset right before he clams up at the demon's quip#but it doesnt even last look at his damn face as he leaves IM SO#somebody hug him#skldjfhklsajdfa#he needs a dean hug#but noooo dean is being a jackass#this is awful#im not ok#i hate it when they fight#im over it that's enough drama dabb i take back everything i said about loving pain

I’ll definitely have more thoughts on this once we have whatever emotional payload next week.

All in all, I’m not actually concerned about the future of their relationship. They’ve been through much, they’ll be fine. I am, though, tickled that we’ll see these key problems in their relationship reach a point where they have to be dealt with. Also: I can’t wait for the catharsis that Cas leaving is bound to elicit. Both for us, the viewers, and the characters. Besides, Dean needs to go to a corner and have a think about his behavior and if pushing Cas away is really what he wants. And then maybe finally we can get that sweet sweet resolution of an affirmation about Cas’s place in Dean’s life. And in turn an affirmation that Cas does trust their family unit enough to depend on them.

I think we got a good set up in this episode leading into whatever drama we get in the coming weeks. The tension was up to 11. Love it. Hate it. Personally, I think the empty deal might be what does sets off Cas walking out. Somehow, the deal is not a secret anymore. We have here another instance of Cas making a super important decision that affects The Family on his own and then keeping it a secret (to protect Sam and Dean, a pattern). Dean can be angry and think Cas is dead to him all he wants, he will blow tf up when he learns about this deal. Sam isn’t gonna be thrilled either, though he’s more likely to make puppy eyes of sadness and Disappointment than yell at Cas. Seriously, though, I can just see Dean saying some bullshit because he’s just so done and here goes Cas potentially dying again, which in turn will probably piss Cas off. Etc etc. Cue the violins.

tl;dr: if episode 1 is any indication, we’re in for a wild fucking ride, kiddos. hold onto your butts!!!

#supernatural #spn #destiel #deancas #spn spoilers #spn15 #spn meta #my stuff #ok thoughts still a little jittery #but my brain is so hyped i needed to let these go into the ether #before i could sit down and write any sort of coherent argument #gosh i do love this show so much

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makeste · 6 years ago

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BnHA Chapter 186: Lunch and Then Some Light Noumu Battling

Previously on BnHA: The New JP Hero Billboard Chart Top 10 rankings were announced and the heroes each gave a short little speech. My new adult bird son Can You Smell What The Hawk Is Cooking stole the spotlight by basically saying, “y’all need to stop being such bummers, we’re the best that the world’s got now so let’s fucking act like it.” We learned that Hawks is basically a hero prodigy, having started his own hero agency at the tender young age of 18, and now having risen all the way to #2 at age 22. Anyway, he then handed the mic over to Endeavor who went with the short and sweet “just watch me” route, for better or worse. Afterwards Endeav throttled Hawks a little bit in the privacy of his dressing room, and Hawks apologized and then said he actually needed Endeavor’s help for something. “Do you remember the Noumus?” I then proceeded to lose my shit, as we transitioned to some unknown location where an unknown figure was talking to an unknown Noumu with a Kurogiri face (!) who could TALK BACK (!!!!). Then I really lost my shit omg.

Today on BnHA: Endeavor and Hawks go for a stroll on their lunch break. Hawks casually saves like 15 random people and attracts a crowd of fans seeking autographs and selfies. Meanwhile Endeavor attracts one (1) fan, and tries to offer an autograph of his own only to send the kid running off in tears because Endeavor’s aloof attitude is apparently what makes him cool lol. So as Endeav tries to sort all of that out, he sits down with Hawks in some fancy high-rise restaurant. Hawks tells him about some rumored Noumu sightings that he’s been investigating all across the country. He says he flew out to the locations, but couldn’t find any evidence. He theorizes that someone might be purposely spreading rumors in order to sow fear among the general populace. And he says he wants Endeavor, the newly crowned number one here, to be the one to put the people at ease. Meanwhile he himself just wants to chill out, and he would like nothing better than an ideal world so peaceful that heroes can just relax. Anyway, so then that Talking Noumu from the last chapter comes flying at them from out of nowhere and smashes through the glass and is all “WHICH ONE OF YOU IS STRONGEST.” So Endeavor goes to fight him.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 208 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

omg

I think this might be my favorite SJ cover like, ever?? is that a huge overreaction? but like, Deku looks so cool. and I fucking love the colors so much. and don’t think I didn’t notice the distinct BakuDeku theme of this green and orange aesthetic, Horikoshi. because I did! notice! gosh these colors look so good together don’t y’all agree. okay fine I’ll shut the fuck up

lmao

this was such a badass cover and then it’s just. completely ruined by the text in the background being all “TOAST ‘EM”

(ETA: that text was so distracting that I honestly didn’t even notice the Noumu in the background. completely missed that. so observant lol. I probably would have noticed in Mangastream’s version, which says “seething!” but that’s pretty funny too tbh)

jesus Endeavor calm the fuck down and put yourself out already. why are you always so fucking angry

holy shit

well now, that’s one hell of an opening hook

the text is all “ever since I could remember, I’ve lived at the whim of others.” and apparently this dude found it suffocating

so here we have a disgruntled office worker about to shoot the place up, presumably? or like, the quirk equivalent of that. how fucking creepy

oh my GOD

IS HE STRIPPING NAKED TO GAIN MORE EMBARRASSMENT POWER

what the fucking fuck oh my lord. every so often Horikoshi is just like “lol I thought of a really weird thing. let’s just roll with it and see where it takes us”

so this man with his weird humiliation kink thinks he’s all that, but!

did Hawks just shoot fucking feathers to cover this man’s R-rated parts

also if Endeavor is even 1% like his youngest son, his favorite food will be soba. moment of truth!

goddammit, Endeavor’s just completely ignoring the question, and he’s actually focusing on stopping the flasher guy while Hawks continues to talk about food

lmao now this stupid fucking dog is running out into traffic

don’t worry kids, Hawks fired off more wings to spirit sweet, stupid Schwartz away to safety

you had me until “chicken liver” Hawks but I guess I could keep an open mind

does Hawks ever actually make eye contact with anyone

I’m starting to feel like he’s the type who would deliberately turn around if he ever did happen to be facing the same direction as whoever he was rescuing. he only does casual rescues

oddly enough I’m liking him less than I did before. Too Cool For That Shit is just not my type. I prefer Too Grumpy For That Shit and/or Actually Fully Enthusiastic And Earnest And Will Do The Uncool Thing Without Hesitation

but I have a feeling that what we see might not be what we get here, so let’s just wait a bit. idk just a feeling about him. because he sure as heck didn’t have that meteoric rise by not giving a damn

(ETA: okay so! needless to say my fears were unfounded as it turns out Hawks’s thing is not Too Cool For That Shit, but actually Too Tired For That Shit, which is actually one of my favorite types. Too Cool is just the persona he puts on because it’s what’s expected of him. but in actuality the reason he seems so nonchalant is because his heart isn’t really in it. this was never something he wanted to do; it was something he was more or less forced into because he was so talented and With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility, and so it didn’t really matter what he personally wanted or didn’t want. in other words, Hawks is the very first Reluctant Hero I think we’ve had in this series. he’s someone who is more or less trapped in his role, and by now he’s become very, very good at what he does, but more than anything he would like to one day not have to do it anymore.

but of course not only does he not have that option, he’s somehow managed to get himself in way deeper than most of his peers will ever have to worry about. not only does he have to contend with the everyday stresses of hero life, but he also has a fun undercover double agent mission to worry about! so add in the fear of being caught and the stress of having to play both sides, while all the while trying his best to make sure no innocents get hurt! and having to think about all of this constantly!

basically, up until now I wouldn’t have thought that anyone could come along and actually contend with Aizawa for the title of Most Exhausted Character in the series. but not only does Hawks contend, I think it’s actually no contest. and yet he does it anyway. without complaint. well with a little bit of complaining, but under the guise of being a lackadaisical young twenty-something who isn’t particularly concerned about anything.

he actually ends up confessing more to Endeavor than I would have expected, given all this. like he was straight up confiding in him. that all turned out to be completely true. but because he says it with that carefree smile, you don’t realize at first how much he’s just kind of quietly suffering underneath it all. like that dog in the house on fire saying this is fine. like, no it fucking isn’t, but he puts on such a good act of being completely unconcerned. it’s astounding in hindsight.

my god I have so many fucking feelings about Hawks apparently. I didn’t mean to essay this much and there are probably more essays on the way too lol. I love my tired bird son too damn much and I hope to god he doesn’t get himself killed fffff.)

anyways he’s signing autographs and giving interviews and shit, and meanwhile Endeavor is just completely being ignored

okay now they’re acknowledging him, but it’s the usual “man, he’s scary!”

(ETA: CAN’T YOU SEE-KUNNNNN)

this kid knows what’s what. Inasa was fucked up for years because of his I Asked Endeavor For An Autograph trauma

now Endeavor is silently and intimidatingly turning his head toward the kids and walking over

by the way these children are fucking adorable and I want take them all home and give them sandwiches and juice boxes

(ETA: I’m so glad Can’t You See-kun is even acknowledged in-universe as the most adorable child on the face of the earth. if anyone ever deserved to become a beloved meme it’s him)

oh shit Endeavor’s making an effort!!

he’s really trying to fix that image omg

but it’s not working!

oh snap. it’s just like All Might said, huh. remember he told you not to try to copy him and to do your own thing, Endeavor

the kid is having a meltdown now and saying that Endeavor doesn’t need fanservice and that the lone wolf attitude is what makes him cool

okay but you can be a lone wolf and still be Not A Dick, though

now the kid is running away crying. jesus christ. well so much for those juice boxes then. maybe I’ll just give them to your shark-looking friend

Endeav’s just staring in confusion and wondering where he went wrong

where you went wrong is being a dick for 40 years. change isn’t just going to come overnight. but you need to keep at it! if you want to be nicer just be nicer, and eventually either your fans will warm up to the change, or you’ll get new fans

(ETA: I stand by this, for the record. I know this arc is doing a whole thing of showing how Endeavor can be a different type of hero than All Might and still be someone that people rely on. but in addition to this I think that if he genuinely wants to be more approachable than he should just keep working at it even if people are naturally going to be really confused by it at first)

anyways so now we’re cutting to some fancy high-rise restaurant and Endeav and Hawks are eating in what seems to be a private room

or more accurately, Hawks is eating, and Endeavor is just sitting there with his arms crossed same as always

are you sure Shouto isn’t adopted? that kid loves stuffing his face during serious discussions

(ETA: lmao and he even does it yet again at the end of this arc. I don’t know why I’m always so tickled by this but I just love it)

anyway, so Hawks is replying that when he wants something he just goes for it. “it’s just my nature”

he apparently tried to draft Shouto after the sports festival! interesting

but he says he’s glad that he ended up with Tokoyami in the end

wow but kind of a dick reason -- “Shouto-kun’s brand took a hit after he failed his provisional license exam”

is he just trying to rile up Endeavor here? interesting

Endeavor says Hawks knows a lot for someone who never went to U.A.

which we kind of already knew (that he’s not a U.A. alum), because otherwise he would have been involved in the Kamino mission. but I wonder where he did graduate from. is he a Shiketsu alum?

how mysterious

(ETA: in the Mangastream version he says “I’ve always been a good observer, you see,” which is something that gets called back to later)

anyway, now Endeavor’s getting impatient and demanding to get to the point

ahasfhkhlkj

yesssss more info about them omgggg. how are there even Noumus anymore with AFO locked up??

okay so Hawks is reiterating the stuff we already know, that “scores” of Noumus were captured along with All for One at Kamino. and that since then, even though the League has been active, they haven’t been able to confirm any new appearances of Noumus

hmm, I see, so it’s going to turn out that it was B

(ETA: actually now I’m wondering if there might be a C and this is purposely trying to mislead us! because everyone always assumed that AFO was the only one capable of producing Noumus, but what if that isn’t the case though?)

Endeavor says that since Hawks wants to team up, that must mean he’s actually found proof of this so-called “rumor”

oh my god Endeavor. why couldn’t we have had you during the last arc. you would have had us out of that bullshit basement in no time flat

(ETA: for real, this arc is only what, nine chapters? the man knows how to move things along)

okay now Hawks is saying that this isn’t the only place where Noumus have been sighted, and that there are rumors all around the country -- though not in the news -- and people have been gossiping

oh for fuck’s sake could you get to the point already Hawks. stop dramatically building up to it

blah blah he heard it from locals when he went on a business trip, and he did a secret investigation at that time but wasn’t able to turn anything up

so he says he got interested after that, and flew around the country to investigate further

so apparently there were similar rumors cropping up in completely unrelated parts of the country, with slight variations

but in the end he wasn’t able to validate any of the rumors

so then if this is all true, how many of these Noumu 2.0s are there??

(ETA: and is any of it actually true? it’s hard to say at this point. I’m learning toward “yes”, or else why bring it up in the first place. there’s gonna be a Noumu arc coming up in the future at some point I think. Noumu Wars)

so Hawks is continuing to munch on his yakitori and he says that ever since the incidents at U.A., Hosu, and Kamino, everyone knows about the Noumus now, and he wonders if it’s just “some asshole with a motive to spread unease” who’s spreading rumors throughout the country

okay but we the readers know for a fact it’s not! and you wouldn’t have called Endeavor to team up if you really thought it was just rumors. so when are you going to get to your point

...no way he’s talking about All for One, is he? "a criminal from a long time ago.” someone who wanted ability users to be free. was AFO the Magneto of his day once upon a time?

(ETA: actually, thinking about this more I think maybe it was the mysterious Destro who was mentioned by Gentle not too long ago and who I’m still hoping to learn more about. he was the leader of the Quirk Liberation Army or something along those lines wasn’t he? definitely sounds like a Magneto type)

he says that the more fear a society has, the more these kind of delusions sell and spread

Endeavor is again telling him to stop being a dramatic fuck and to just get to the point

wha

seriously?? you invited him to lunch just to ask him that?

Endeavor’s asking him what his angle is

did fucking Hawks just admit he wants to 420 blaze it. in my good Christian manga. which takes place and is published in Japan where weed will get you thrown in fucking prison for the better part of a decade. something tells me this is Jaimini’s Box taking certain liberties lol

(ETA: yeah, in Mangastream’s version he says “sit back with a nice cold one” which is much more in line with Japanese culture lol. still, Hawks does give off that stoner vibe a bit, can’t deny)

aww, but this part is sweet

though you do know you’ll end up putting a lot of heroes out of a job lol. safer world = no need for heroes. I’m sure most heroes would take that trade-off any day though

so now Endeavor is being all quiet and seemingly thoughtful

and he’s looking out the window

and... whaaaat is this

...do not fucking tell me this is a Noumu

holy fuck it’s a Noumu

um, what? can we back up just a sec? we just had a whole long discussion all about how there have been no verified Noumu sightings since AFO was locked up, and now one just happens to show up the instant the #1 and #2 heroes are done having their little talk?

lmao and now the hostess is coming with the check

maybe this Noumu’s uncannily good timing was cancelled out by this lady who has the worst timing that any human person has ever had in the history of existence

holy shit look how dramatic this is!?

“HELLO MY NAME IS TALKING NOUMU. WHICH IS THE STRONGEST ONE. RARRRR”

Endeavor is telling Hawks to lead the evacuation

Hawks is asking “what about you?” as if that part wasn’t obvious

RIGHT? suspiciously good timing if you ask me. I don’t have any real clue what’s going on yet, but damned if this is a coincidence

anyways now Endeavor is showing us just why he’s the current number one!

TAKE THAT, SUSPICIOUS TALKING NOUMU

and next chapter we’ll apparently get a whole Endeavor battle. well I hope it’s interesting! this arc is off to a bit of a weird start for me, but I think it’s because several of the pieces have yet to fall into place completely. there are a lot of weird coincidences and things that seem Just A Little Bit Off, and I feel like once we learn why, I’m going to be like, “ohhhhhhh!!”

(ETA: yeah, needless to say there were a lot of “ohhhhhh!!” moments and this arc is incredibly dense on a reread. so much going on here omg. this is good stuff)

no bonus today! I almost ran out of time to even put tags. anyways, toast ‘em Endeavor

#bnha #boku no hero academia #endeavor #hawks #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #I spent too much time essaying about hawks apparently #'oooh I'm hawks'#'I'm ridiculously handsome and have secret angst'#'not to mention a super secret spy mission with plot potential for days'#'and that has like a ninety percent likelihood of getting me either traumatized or killed'#damn you hawks

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spaceorphan18 · 7 years ago

Text

Changed For the Better 2 [Klaine Advent Day 2]

Rating: S for Shenanigans Word Count: 1904 Summary: AU - Kurt’s a struggling actor living in New York, and is currently working on a Made-for-TV movie starring Cooper Anderson.

A/N: Written for Klaine Advent Day 2: Bucket

[Part 1]

///

Changed for the Better - Part 2/24: Me Against the Music

“What do you mean you don’t want to do it - Kurt, you love the musical.”

“I don’t know, Rachel…” Kurt was sitting in his allotted room in the studio, just off set, waiting for the next scene to be set. Rachel had called him four times already, and he figured he should at least call her back before she blew up his phone with messages.

“C’mon, please, Kurt, it’s just a small little thing - a nice way for you to jump back in on the stage. Jesse and I will be playing Brad and Janet. And Jesse said he’d even be able to get you the part of Riff-Raff. Come on, Kurt you have to - it’s Rocky Horror!” Rachel was using her best pouty voice, but still he wasn’t swayed.

“I’m pretty sure I’ll still be shooting this movie when the performance comes around,” he said. That was probably not true, there wasn’t much left to shoot, but doing a small production of Rocky Horror Picture Show with a thrown together cast of amateurs in a tiny venue for pretty much themselves didn’t sound as appealing to him as it did to Rachel.

“You know what, Kurt, I know what this is. You’re just playing scared. You haven’t done a stage play in two years. TWO YEARS.”

Ug, not this argument again. “Rachel…”

“Also Mercedes says you have to, too.”

There was a bit of shuffling as the phone passed hands. “Kurt, it’s Mercedes, you are getting your ass up on stage again so I can hear you sing. I don’t care if it’s as Magenta, you’re doing it.”

Kurt cracked a smile - the voice of Mercedes had spoken.

Before he could answer, however, one of the film’s production assistants knocked on the door. He was needed on set again.

“I’ll think about it, okay?” he said. There was a knot in his stomach just thinking about being on stage again, and he wasn’t sure if that was from anxiousness or excitement. “I’ve got to go, I’ll see you guys later.”

They were using the outdoor set again for shooting that day. Normally, the set was dressed for a typical Midwestern city street and bookstore front, but today was special. Today Christmas had vomited all over the set. The pine trees were all decorated with glitzy ornaments, the lampposts had garland and ribbon and tinsel. The bookstore’s windows had been frosted. There were blinking lights flashing everywhere. And snow. Oh god, there was so much fake snow.

They were still laying it, big, fat flakes being showered from high above. And right in the middle of it, mostly likely near her mark, was the female lead - Brittany S. Pierce - dancing in a circle, her hands waving around her head. She almost looked like a child on the first day of winter break. She moved silently, and gracefully, in her own happy little world. Kurt wondered if she had had any dance training, because her movements were well timed to the rutting of the machine spitting out the fake snow.

THWACK

Kurt had been so caught up in watching Brittany that he hadn’t notice Cooper and his well aimed snowball to the face. He threw Cooper a glare, as Cooper doubled over in laughter. Thankfully, it brushed right off, and he wouldn’t have to go back into make-up.

Fifteen minutes later, and they were taking their spots, the director going over the notes for the scene. It was a big day. It was the day of the big Christmas proposal. Kurt rolled his eyes at the idea of spending the next seven hours on this one scene. Did they really need to do it from twenty-four different angles? At least he had only one line, and could easily blend into the background easily enough.

The first few takes went as well as expected. Cooper was intense and over-the-top. Brittany was awkwardly goofy and a bit stiff. But something happened the more they ran the scene. Cooper toned it down, he even managed to stop pointing. Brittany relaxed, and seemed to forget that the camera was there (she still had difficulties not looking straight into the camera).

If there was one thing that this film got right, it was the casting. Cooper, despite his questionable acting skill, was perfect for the melodramatic Kyle, and Kurt didn’t know if there was a difference between Brittany and her character of the absent-minded and quirky Darla. They had an easy chemistry on and off set - and if Kurt didn’t know better, he would have thought they were dating in real life. They weren’t, however, because Brittany’s girlfriend-slash-publicist was always lurking around the set, reminding everyone about their epic love story. But the girlfriend wasn’t there today, so maybe that helped Brittany focus.

Everyone on set seemed to be more focused than usual. Maybe it was the decorations and their cheerfulness, maybe it was the twinkling reds and greens, silvers and golds coming off the lights. Maybe it was the glitter of the tinsel, or the sweeping music the director kept playing in-between takes. Or maybe it was just the brightness of the snow. Kurt began to forget that it was actually late June, and that they were all acting - he was beginning to feel it.

“Darla, we met at this spot, this exact spot,” Cooper-as-Kyle said as he kneeled down on one knee. For a second, Kurt didn’t see the annoying Cooper he was used to. He saw the beautifully chiseled Kyle, looking at the woman he loved. “And I brought you here because this is where I wanted to tell you that I knew - that I knew that I wanted to love you and be with you for the rest of my life. So, Darla - my girl - will you marry me?”

And Brittany-as-Darla’s eyes lit up, and she grabbed the ring Cooper-as-Kyle has pulled out of his pocket. “Yes, yes of course.”

Cooper-as-Kyle jumped up, and kissed her passionately, picking her up and swinging her around.

And for a moment - Kurt forgot that this wasn’t real life. It was like those old movies he and his mom used to watch at Christmas together. It was like all those silly fantasies he had as a child. It was like all those favorite romantic moments that used to pull at his heartstrings. It was magic and he was there.

Until he wasn’t.

Suddenly everything stopped, and all eyes were on him.

Shit, his line.

Reality hit him again hard.

He couldn’t even spit out his line before the director yelled cut.

“You know, Kurt, it’s not very professional of you to stop the brilliance of the scene I was sharing with dear Brittany here,” Cooper said. “I realize our radiance is captivating, but you have one line and you should probably try to get it right.”

Something in Kurt snapped. “Why don’t you get off your high fucking horse, will you? Not all of us can be as perfect as you are. Some of us make mistakes, so why don’t you just fucking deal with it.”

Cooper stared at him stunned. Everyone around him stared at him - stunned.

Cooper gave him that look, the one where it looked like he was trying to process a complete thought. “Well, I give you an A+ for intensity, but I’m not sure it’s needed in this scene.”

Kurt let out a long, frustrated half scream-half grunt. “God, you are driving me crazy.”

Kurt wasn’t usually the one to bring the drama to the set. In fact, most days, most of them didn’t even know he was there. For a moment, he was worried the director would take him aside and fire him right on the spot. But instead, the director turned back to the crew, instructing them to rearrange the cameras instead. He nearly had a meltdown in front of the entire cast and crew. And no one seemed to notice. Worse, no one seemed to care.

Knowing the break would last a good ten minutes at least, he went and sat on the fake, styrofoam steps of the fake bookshop storefront.

Someone, however, did notice. Brittany came over to him, grabbed a handful of the snow and sprinkled it on his head, giggling a little.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying this,” he said, his voice gruff.

She took a seat next to him, grinned, and looked him over.

“You know, you shouldn’t interrupt people’s proposals. It’s bad luck,” she said.

“Is it?” He never claimed to understand Brittany logic. “You know this is pretend, right?”

Brittany gave a little shrug, and looped her arm in his. “You know you remind me of Lord Tubbington, if Lord Tubbington was more like grumpy cat and less like a Dubai slumlord.”

“What?”

“Kurt, you can’t lie to me,” Brittany looked him straight in the eye, her blue eyes full of concern. “I know that you’re having a hard time. I know it’s probably not easy when you’re a unicorn like I am, and are meant for bigger things than what you think this is. But I also know that you don’t actually hate it here, even though you act like you do. I know that you claim to be antisocial, but you’re probably pretty lonely. I know that while you think this might be just a movie, you wish it were the real thing. And I know that, secretly, you love bubbly, romantic things like I do, because you wrote on your bucket list that you want a huge, sappy, romantic wedding.”

Kurt gave her a strange look. “How do you know I have a bucket list?

“Oh, sometimes I read your phone when you go to the bathroom.”

“Brittany!”

“Santana said it’s okay to share phones when you’re special friends,” Brittany said. “No, but Kurt, look. Cooper and I are both really worried about you. You never come hang out with us, despite the fact that we’re totally awesome. And we don’t think you’re getting enough sex either, because we’re both sure that having a penis up your butt might be better than the stick that seems to be lodged there.”

“Please tell me you have not had this actual conversation with Cooper,” Kurt said, as he buried his head in his hands in embarrassment.

“We want to hook you up,” Brittany said, shaking his arm. “Cooper wants to set you up on a date with his brother, who is totally lame. And you’d know that if you hung out with us every once in awhile. While I want to hook you up with my dad’s friend Walter, who is funny, and super smart, and like, fifty-eight, and really nice.”

Kurt groaned. “No, Brittany…I had this talk with Cooper a few days ago.”

“Yes, but look - you can sit here, and be sulky, and be sad that your British boyfriend dumped you over text--”

“How much of my phone did you read?”

“And really, you should delete those messages because that’s not helping anything. Or you can accept that you are a special unicorn like us, and deserve all the wonderful things that come with that.”

Kurt let out a sigh, and leaned his head against Brittany’s shoulder. “Being a unicorn is hard.”

“I know.”

...

“Hey, Brittany?”

“Yeah?”

“Please stop going through my phone, okay?”

“But Santana said--”

“Sometimes, it’s okay not to listen to Santana.”

#klaine advent 2017 #klaine advent: bucket #s.o. writes things

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