#Isolde is an abuser

[nobroth]

Isolde is also a victim of Eamon.

Isolde, a very young noble woman, falls in love with Eamon and betrays her own family to help return ownership of Redcliffe to the Guerrins. After the Rebellion, they marry. But Isolde is in a precarious position - the rest of the Fereldan nobility hates her because she's Orlesian, Maric himself "frowning" on their marriage, and she could never go home if Eamon gives into the pressure of that disapproval and discards her because she betrayed her family and her country for love. If things don't work out with Eamon, her life is pretty much over. (one of the many reasons I don't see her and Teagan having an affair as a reality also).

Isolde then has to deal with Eamon bringing in this child who everyone thinks is his bastard. Now, Eamon could have at any time told his young wife - who literally only has her attachment to him guarding her life - that it's Maric's child and that she doesn't need to worry. But nope! He doesn't do that! And he doesn't intervene when Isolde is cruel and lashes out at the child either, just sends him off to an abbey to "make peace". Very Catelynn Stark and Jon Snow.

Then, Isolde gets to listen to Eamon tell Cailan all about how if Anora can't provide a suitable heir then he should discard her. Marry someone else. And their son starts showing signs of magic. Connor's birth was very hard for Isolde, she doesn't know if she can have another child. (And as it turns out, she can't. She dies in childbirth the second time.) So she panics, and hides Connor's magic.

Eamon knows. Loghain says he has proof that Eamon knows that Isolde is doing this and doesn't do anything about it.

If Isolde gives her life for her child, Eamon throws him away anyway and puts him in the Circle. If Connor dies, Isolde dies in childbirth. Either way, Eamon does not seem to give a fuck. Because he's a bad person.

[lelianaslefthand]

thinking about how everyone in alistair’s childhood failed him

[anaptian-champion]

well why dont you prove that your precious devil dog is so well-behaved and bring her out for us?

what so you punks can fucking attack her???

no thanks 🖕

[isolde-serpentia]

How could you?

I gave you everything.

I gave up everything.

I lost myself as I gave you empty hands because there was nothing more to give...

And you smiled.

You loved every second of destroying me.

Your poison eventually succumbed me to the addiction.

I became addicted to you.

Your this ghastly drug that's a leach on my soul, and you'll feed.

I have no nutritional value left, but you'll feed anyway.

I can't get away from you.

My every move...

My every waking moment flashes your image through my mind like lightning striking a tree and setting it a'blaze.

You destroyed me.

You mock me as a victim as of your a saint.

Well, I'm no victim.

I'll be the one to bury you with your own poison one day.

Even then, I will still never be able to get away from you.

At least the world will be safer without your existence.

For that, I will be able to smile back at you.

[lifegoesonevenifeverybodyisgone]

Isolde’s life has been one string of one tragedy after another. She doesn’t dream for herself nor have anything to live for. While her brother was driven to the point of burning everything, Isolde felt too calm, for losing everything in the war meant nothing for she had nothing. Nothing but an empty vessel.

Except, Kakania was her everything. The golden key to open her door. A promise of a hopeful and more wonderful life. And thus her “dream” became her dream. But the gold was only brass and Kakania was only a person, not a goddess who could do anything to save her.

From a prisoner to a patient living inside a suitcase led by the humble lord, the Timekeeper, Isolde wishes to fix herself. She doesn’t believe in a future but deep down she hopes for it. So she is committed to this “treatment”. Unusual as it may seem, this treatment composed of going on missions with an Australian boxer and an American biker from the 90s as her comrades in battle.

Mr. Joe Brown or what he calls himself, J, cannot be anymore different from her. He lived in a time of the disco, the New Age Movement, and the technology that she couldn’t even begin to understand. He was also a blacksmith who forged tongs and swords with his burnt hands, a cook who made burritos and tacos Miss Centurion would enjoy, and a man of the people: the fabled man of Haight Street. How peculiar… although as different as they can be, he was also the same age as her.

“How can we even be the same age?” She wonders. Although she looked youthful, the books continue to weigh on her head. Her hand instinctively aches as she remembers a cup that she held too many times. Her eyes are witness to tragedies no child should ever bear. Despite this everyday troubles, the violence in the streets, and a community that relied on him, he could still smile and find a future for himself. Why can’t she?

But his friends were truly his friends, not parasocial admirers. He had a loving father and mother, he had a sister that he loved, and a community who could pull him up when he was down. And she?

She was only a decoration, to be admired but objectified, to be seen but not heard. But that was her life, the only life that she had ever known.

Yet how could this noble lady, the most esteemed opera singer in Vienna, envy such a man?

A tragic and traumatic life is normal to those who know nothing else. She belonged to all of Vienna, she belonged to everyone...except herself.

But then that familiar world is gone.

The suitcase has its unusual but united inhabitants. Slowly but surely, the empty void of her heart made its way to new friends and new experiences.

Then it hits her.

She was too young to be the star of Vienna.

Too young to be the measure of perfection, too young to be subjected to perverse obsession from so-called admirers, and too young to hold the weight of a world-ending war.

Now it's all gone. Vienna, Theophil, Trista, her mother and father, and her. The golden key she hoped to open her empty door was only brass. If her only anchor to the crashing tides is also broken, then how can't she drown?

Where will she go?

[dalishious]

Alistair vs. Cullen

It really annoys me when people act like Alistair and Cullen are the same character, when they are very different.

Alistair grew up with child neglect. When visiting Denerim, Eamon kept him in the kennels. At Redcliffe, he slept in the stables on a pile of hay. Alistair also recounts a time when he was locked in the dungeons for a day before someone came to get him out. And of course he also talks about how Isolde despised him, and “made sure the castle wasn't a home.” But is still convinced that Eamon is a good person and he deserved all that. Cullen had a very fortunate upbringing with a loving family who supported him and what he wanted in life.

Alistair never wanted to be a Templar; he was forced into joining the Order by Eamon. He is vocal about how much he despised this, and considers Duncan recruiting him for the Wardens as “saving” him from them. The only thing he says he enjoyed about Templar training was the educational component, which he did not receive previously. Alistair was a poor recruit because he frankly did not want to be there, and therefore did not take it very seriously. He saw practices like the Harrowing as horrifying, and deepened his dislike of being a Templar further. And as time goes on, he becomes even less of a supporter of the Order; he outright says Meredith is the biggest threat to Kirkwall in Dragon Age II, if made king of Ferelden. It was always Cullen’s dream to be a Templar, and would even force his younger sister to “play the apostate” for his “training” before being recruited. Cullen was an enthusiastic recruit who considered Templar training “all that he had imagined”, and “did not hesitate” in taking his vows. Even the Harrowing did not waver his devotion to the Order, which by Dragon Age II becomes downright fanatical and tyrannical, practically worshipping Meredith. (Though this was later attempted to be retconned in Dragon Age: Inquisition… just as poorly as all the other retcons in that game, taking the path of “just pretend he never said and did all those things!”)

There is a lot of dialogue from Alistair about how much he dislikes the Chantry. Cullen, on the other hand, is extremely faithful and the only criticism he ever has about the Chantry is that they don’t treat the Templars well enough.

Alistair has a good sense of humour—in fact, it’s one of his biggest coping mechanisms. Cullen wouldn’t know a joke if it hit him in the face.

The player can disagree with Alistair on every turn. He is presented as sometimes being right, and sometimes being wrong, like most people. (Side note: more than that, you can be downright verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive to Alistair. Holy shit, I didn’t even realize how bad it can get until reading through the dialogue in the toolset, because I’ve never picked those options in game. I was honest to god flabbergasted and very uncomfortable through much of it.) The player rarely has the chance to even mildly disagree with Cullen. On the rare occasion you do, the dialogue is painted as if the player is being an unreasonable asshole, and he never even addresses what they say. (Example.)

The only reason I think people are capable of mistaking them for another is because fandom likes to donate Alistair’s personality onto Cullen. That and the the ever-frequent whitewashing of Alistair doesn’t help matters. But I’m not even a Cullen fan and I think it’s a disservice to both of them to act like they’re just Alistair and Alistair 2.0, honestly.

[moonlitstoriess]

Across the Universe-ch.3 (Fenrys x Reader)

Summary: Y/n has everything she needs in life. A family, friends, a safe place she calls home and most importantly a male whom she loves. What happens when it all changes when Y/n finds out about the betrayal of her lover and her so called family? Well, ending up in Terassen and in queen Aelin's court was not what she expected but what she will need to start her new journey full of surprises.

Warnings: Traumatic flashback, brief description of SA, abuse.

See masterlist

A/n: Hey guys! Just a heads up, I gave a brief description of y/n here but nothing too specific as in the end, I want you to imagine yourselves in y/n's place. Hope you enjoy this :)))

Following the Illyrian traditions was very important. Submitting to the males wishes, their desires and orders, being a proper house maid was the future of almost every female unfortunate enough to be born in Illyria. This point was confirmed once more as she stood near the stove in the kitchen, silently humming to herself with the hopes of drowning out the ugly laughters of him and his male friends in the dining room, drinking and burying themselves in all the fat and gluttony.

"Y/n, sweetheart, come here!" There it was, that deceptively caring voice that only came out when he was so drunk that he could not even tell the difference between a goblet and a chamber pot, drinking ale from the latter and declaring it the finest vintage in all the realm.

She knew better than to argue or even think of putting up a fight.

When she entered the room, there were 3 other males with him, all smirking at her while greedily looking up and down her body with eyes that held hunger within them. At that moment, as he got up and went to lock the door behind her, y/n realized her fate. She wanted nothing more than to die right then and there.

"Sweetness, why don't you give us a show first?" one of them said, giving her a disgusting cruel smile that displayed his rotting, yellow teeth.

And so, as her 16 year old body was forcefully defiled all night long by these vile monsters, as her pleas fell on deaf ears, as they slapped and cut her up for their pleasure, y/n knew that hell would be kinder to her than Illyria and its males.

Y/n's eyes shot open as she immediately jumped up to a sitting position on the bed with a racing heart and a sweat covered body. It had been a while since these nightmares last happened to her. Visions of those horrible, dark times. They started coming back right when Azriel stopped sleeping with her. Now it seems that they have just gotten worse.

"Shhh, oh you poor child, you are safe now."

Y/n turned her head around to see an older female, with graying hair rubbing her back in comforting circles.

She did not have the energy to use her voice, so y/n whispered, "Who are you? Where am I?"

The woman smiled as she calmly explained, "My name is Isolde and I am one of the head royal healers. You are in the healing hut where I have been taking care of you for the past one day."

"I have been in this state for a whole day?"

"Yes. After you passed out, Aedion was meant to come find me but it seemed like Fenrys had a different plan. Oh, you should have seen him when he winnowed here. He was frantic! I never saw him so worried before. He laid you down here on the hut and only said 'Help her, please.' Then he winnowed again and left you here in my care. In the past day, her majesty queen Aelin and the lady Lysandra came down here twice to check up on you, but you were still unconscious."

Fenrys was worried about her? Of course he was worried. They were all worried because y/n is their captive and they could not have her dead before they got the information they needed out of her.

With a scoff, she turned her head around to inspect the room. There were two rows of beds here on each side of the wall and two circular windows at each end of the room. Multiple shelves and tables around the place contained all sorts of books, medications, and some kinds of herbs. The light coming from the afternoon sun cast a comforting glow around the room.

The healer got up and began to gently inspect y/n as she said, "Her majesty said to bring you to her once you were better again. There is a washroom just outside this door on the left and inside you will also find some clothes. Although it was quite challenging to find a shirt that would somehow go through your wings which is why I washed your old shirt and put it back there."

That is when y/n looked down and realized that she was wearing some sort of chest binds and underpants. Oh Cauldron boil her...they had to strip her naked? At her worried face the female replied with a knowing smile, "Yes, I saw your scars and burns but do not worry, I was the only one who changed your clothes so your secret shall go with me to my grave. I swear it."

Slightly embarassed, but grateful nonetheless, she nodded her head and wordlessly padded to the washroom. After washing up and changing into a fresh and comfortable set of brown pants, her old, long sleeved shirt, and new, knee high light brown boots, y/n left the washroom and followed the healer out towards wherever this queen wanted them to be at.

When Fenrys got word from Aelin that y/n was finally awake and that Isolde would bring her to the formal sitting room soon, he immediately raced through the woods in his wolf form to reach the palace in time. He did not know why or how but Fenrys was definetly feeling something unusual and foreign whenever he was around her.

He remembers how, two days ago when Rowan felt y/n's presence within Terassen's teritorry and sent him to investigate, Fenrys did not expect to be dumbfounded by this winged female lying unconscious on the ground. She was ethereal. Her gorgeous, soft hair that he suddenly felt like running his fingers through, her plump, full lips, gentle yet defined features that made her look like a work of art. But most importantly, her unique and breathtaking black wings that seemed to glitter under the sunlight.

And then, when he winnowed them to the formal meeting room, he felt her nervousness and wanted nothing more than to make her feel safe. It did not help that being right behind her meant that he could smell her delicious scent of jasmine and peach. He remembers how, when Rowan took y/n's air out, Fenrys had this sudden and animalistic urge to kill him. Rowan, his closest companion for so many centuries, suddenly became his number one enemy.

Lastly, when y/n fell unconscious again because of shock...Fenrys could not even understand his own actions. He was supposed to wait just like everyone else until Aedion called someone but...he could not stand there and watch her lie unmoving, so he immediately winnowed her to Isolde. Even though he did not visit y/n after that, he would unsuspiciously ask everyone for updates on her. He knew he should not care but, whatever this silly thing inside him was made him care for some foolish reason.

"So what if she fell unconscious? We still need to keep our eyes on her every move. If our assumptions are true, she is a stranger from a completely different world."

Lorcans voice brought Fenrys back from his thoughts as he watched his family argue over y/n and her fate. Lorcan and Elide arrived just this morning from Perranth after Aelin sent word to them.

"I agree. But she also did not seem like a big threat either. She looked quite shocked when she realized what was happening." Lysandra said while glaring at Lorcan.

"And? it all may have just been a part of her innocent act to reach whatever her goal is."

"Lorcan please calm down, we will se-" Elide was cut off by Lysandras voice.

"You really are a soulles creature then aren't you? Gods...She fell unconscious!! How do you act that out?" Lysandra was staring daggers at him.

"Lorcan is right. Unconscious or not, she is a threat to us for as long as she is in here."

"Really Rowan? I ca-"

"Alright that has been sufficient enough, you three." Aelin said as she gave a pointed look to her mate, Lysandra and Lorcan before continuing, "We won't know anything until we speak to her and that means, we also can not come to any conclusions until we get her side of the story. So either you act like rational beings and we interrogate her properly, or you can just leave the room right at this moment because I do not wish to deal with any additional headaches right now." Her queen side truly came out as those turquoise eyes looked harshly at everyone, including Fenrys, and especially at Lorcan.

But no one could say anything else because the doors opened and in walked Isolde with y/n behind her and Fenrys once again had this urge to be near her and protect her from the unavoidable interrogation that was about to happen. She had an indifferent facial expression on that could fool anyone else but not him. Because for some reason, Fenrys could scent her discomfort and curiosity as her eyes looked around the room.

Y/n noted that his room was different from the previous one. Because while the previous one had different colors, this one was covered in various shades of green starting with pale and ending with forest dark. The floor was covered in a beige and green floral patterned rug, in the center there was a small, circular, golden brown table and on each side of it there was a green couch with hints of silver in their patterns. There also was a white marble fireplace that was currently empty. Finally, on each side of the fireplace, there were two floor to ceiling windows that displayed the gardens outside.

The strangers from the other day were all here, some sitting on the couches while others were standing in the center, but there were also two new strangers that she did not recognize. The extremely tall, tan, muscled man with brown hair that reached his shoulders was not the type that could be overlooked. It was as if his presence always demanded attention. Not to mention the fact that those threatening dark eyes were currently staring at her. If looks could kill, y/n would already be dead. Next to him, was a very small, pale woman with dark black hair and the most adorable face. She was also staring at y/n, but unlike the intimidating beast next to her, she was smiling with genuine kindness.

And then there was Fenrys who was leaning against the wall near the window, staring at her. His arms were crossed which made the impressively large muscles under his white tunic bulge and that made her feel hot all over her body. But, she managed to reign in her feelings and stood stoic faced looking straight at the blond, blue eyed female who was now walking closer to y/n.

"Well, I hope you are feeling better now." The female said, standing face to face with her and assesing y/n with her eyes.

"I am, thanks to Isolde." Y/n turned her head sideways and gave the healer, who was standing next to the door, a small yet genuine smile which Isolde returned.

"Yes. Well, she is our head healer for a reason after all. Thank you Isolde, you may leave now."

Isolde did a small bow and then turned to leave. Once the door closed, Y/n's cold facial expression came back on while looking at the female before her and already mapping out her potential exits from the room. She managed find a small but sharp needle in the washroom so, that was her only weapon as her knife was taken from her when she was unconscious. It is not like y/n was sad about it anyways because that knife was gifted to her by Azriel for their 50th anniversary.

"Y/n, come sit. Don't worry no one is going to hurt you...yet." The blond said with a small smirk as if expecting her to be afraid.

But y/n had seen and been through worse situations when she was working for Rhysand and had to go on missions with Cassian or Azriel. Her name though, how did they kn- Oh, yes, well of course Fenrys told them. Y/n cursed herself for ever revealing her name to him and went to sit on the empty couch without showing an ounce of fear. They could interrogate her all they like but they could never break her.

When she saw the tatooed male opening his mouth to say something, she crossed her arms and said with an indifferent tone, "Shouldn't I know your names? I mean, I could refer to each of you by your hair colors like 'silver hair' or 'ugly brown hair'..." at that she gave a look at the tall brooding man and continued, "but I would really rather call you by your names."

The blond female fully smirked before saying, "My name is Aelin and I am the queen of this teritorry. The 'silver hair' is prince consort Rowan and my mate."

"My name is Elide and I am the lady of Perranth" the small woman said while smiling sweetly at y/n before pointing to the still angry-looking giant beside her and saying, "he is my husband, Lorcan. Please do not be afraid of him he is just-"

"Acting like a baby? Do not worry Elide I am not afraid of men that seem threatened by my presence. It adds to my ego and confidence." Y/n said with a smirk as Lorcan got visibly angrier at her while someone on the other side of the room let out a small chuckle.

Aelin was full on smiling when y/n heard another voice, "Finally! Someone who can put Lorcan in his place. My name is Lysandra by the way" the brown eyed female said with a wink. Lastly, leaning against the couch was Aelin's look a like who, with cold eyes that were assesing her said, "Aedion." It seems like all the males here hate her. Well, how fantastic!

"And that is Fenrys, whom I believe you are already acquinted with." Aelin said, gesturing to him. Fenrys, still stuck to his place by the wall, only gave her a quick and wordless nod before looking away.

Rowan sat on the couch facing her and said, "Now, since we cleared that up, y/n, tell us where you are from."

Y/n sighed before telling them about her world, but still keeping some information hidden from them. She told them about the different courts, the type of fae, of Illyria and her wings, the mortal lands and the wars.

When she was finished, they each had different facial expressions while processing what y/n just said. Aedion, seemingly the only one to quickly gather his thoughts asked, "Then, in your world...Prythian? there are many who like you, have wings."

She nodded before saying, "Yes, these wings are specific to Illyria. Those who are from there have these black, bat-like wings. But there also are those with white, feathery wings. For instance, in the Dawn court. Those are called Peregryn."

Rowan asked her next, "And the Night court is where you work?"

"Worked. I was there for 52 years serving its High lord. But then...let's just say I was betrayed. In fact, I was packing my things and getting ready to leave right before I ended up here."

"So you just suddenly ended up here?" Elide asked curiously from her place on the couch right next to Lorcan who had one hand within reach of his knife and the other on Elide's waist. Y/n smirked, he thinks he is so slick but she has already memorized the ways of those like him. Always ready to attack. Which, if he does dare to attempt, the long and sharp needle in her pocket will find its way quicker to his throat than the knife in his hand will reach her.

"No, while I was getting ready to leave, I heard a voice calling me. I did not understand what it was saying and then, I got this deep urge within me to go find its source. So I flew to where it was and found that it was the Book of Breathings that was calling me all along."

At their puzzled faces, y/n asked, "You do know about the Book of Breathings, yes?"

Lysandra and Aelin exchanged a confused yet slightly alarmed look before the former asked, "Should we be aware of it?"

Oh, they definetly had no idea. With no other choices left, y/n explained all about the 3 objects of the Trove, how they managed to gather them, or rather how Nesta managed to gather them, and finally about the Book of Breathings.

Aelin, still seemingly deep in thought said, "That is how you won your war then."

"Well, we also had the upper hand because there were 3 of the most ancient beings, Gods of a sort, fighting on our side. My at the time high lady and high lord made deals with them in order to make them fight for us."

At that, Aelin scoffed, "How fortunate that the Gods in your world atleast agreed to aid you in your wars."

At y/n's puzzled look, Aedion smirked as he said, "My cousin killed the Gods of our world. One of her many titles is Godskiller."

To say y/n was shocked would be an understatement "How? I mean...how do you just manage to kill the Gods? How is that possible?"

Everyone in the room apart for y/n shared a look before Rowan said, "You told us about your world, it is only fair that we tell you about ours."

And so, they all,except Lorcan because he is still a brooding child, took part in explaining her all about their world. They told her about Wyrdgates, Valgs, the king of Adarlan, the Wyrdkeys, the Iron Witches and their matrons, their Wyverns, Maeve, Erawan, the war at Orynth, how Aelin managed to close the gates with her powers, and lastly, about the sacrifice of the Blackbeak witches that gave the upper hand for them to win the final battle. This all happened 3 years ago. It was clear that they left out quite a few things and by the stern looks Aelin was sometimes giving to them, it was about her but y/n did not blame them. After all, she also left out information about how the Night court or any other court in Prythian works, what is Velaris and what was her position at court, how skilled she is at war or just fighting in general, her age, Amarantha's 50 year reign and most definetly, her past.

Y/n had never heard so many shocking revelations at once. What on earth did they go through? So many innocents were being forced to wear chockers or rings with whatever those demons were? The fae of Erilea were definetly different from those in Prythian. But what spiked her curiosity the most, was the information she got on the Ironteeth, Blackbeak witches. Apparently, her wings were similar to those of their Wyverns and from what they told her, y/n felt like she would get along well with them.

She turned her head towards Aelin and asked, "So, now you have no powers left?"

Aelin sighed and came down to sit next to her, which made Rowan immediately come to stand right behind her at the edge of the sofa, watching y/n with a gaze that dared her to even try doing something to his mate and queen. Y/n genuinely smiled, how impressive (and romantic) that he loves and protects her so much.

"Well, I gave most of it away but, there is still a little bit left in me. Not large enough to burn down a forest or create a fire wall but, enough to still remind me of my roots."

Nodding, y/n turned her head to everyone else, landing her gaze on Fenrys, while asking no one in particular, "What powers do the rest of you have? I know silver hair over there has some air power that can take the breath out of your body but...what about the rest of you?"

Lorcan scoffed, "Who do you think you are-"

"Shapeshifting. I can shift into any form of living being." Lysandra cut in after giving Lorcan a death stare. Y/n smirked, she liked this female very much.

After everyone, except for well...of course Lorcan and Elide said what their powers were, y/n noticed how Fenrys never once opened his mouth during this entire process, preferring to stare at her from his spot near the window.

So, she asked him, "Fenry-"

But he cut her off, "Lorcan is right. You are in no position to ask us of anything. Better you shut up than ask things that are of no concern to you. My powers are known to those that need to know of it." and with that, he stalked towards the doors and left the room.

Lorcan was smirking until Elide jabbed him with her elbow, Rowan, surprisingly, did not seem happy and Aedion had an unreadable expression. Y/n thought that maybe just maybe Fenrys would not be against her but...it truly seems like she is the number one enemy of all the males here.

Aelin let out a small cough that drew y/n's attention from the door and told her with an uncertain smile, "You...could stay in the palace, I will have a guest bedroom arranged for you if you wish. And while you're here, we could look into this whole matter of gates and help you find a way on how to get you home."

"Oh no I really should start looking for a way to leave, and besides, your males do not seem to want me he-"

"Finally, something we can agr-"

"No." Elide said, cutting of her husband and then looking at y/n, "The males can go and brood for as long as they like but you are a stranger to our world which means out there you won't find anything. Your best chance is here, within the palace walls."

"Bu-"

"I command it as the queen."

"You are not my queen."

"But you are standing on my grounds and that means, whatever I say is law."

Aelin and y/n stared at one another, unflinching, holding each others gaze before y/n finally said, "Alright!"

Aelin smiled, before saying, "Ladies, shall we escort our guest to her bed chambers?"

Lysandra and Elide both stood which caused their husbands to immediately hug them as if they are newborn babies who could not stand being away from their mother. Y/n's heart ached because that was how Azriel was with her once. What was he doing now? Was he worried for her? She doubted it.

Aelin placed her hand on y/n's shoulder to bring her back to reality, as she softly said, "Come"

When the queen and her two ladies led her to her room, y/n's shock was written all over her face but she did not care. She has lived in and seen luxury for quite a large span of her life now, but not even her bedchambers at Velaris or the ones at Dawn court could ever come close to this.

The room was medium sized which added to its comfort. On the right side of the wall, was a large bed with a golden headboard, pale pink or almost white covers and white, see through curtains hanging above. Next to it, was a small, beige nightstand that had a small vase full of daisies, lilacs and a candle that stood on a small golden holder. Opposite to the bed, on the left side of the wall, was a white table with golden designs around the corners that held a large mirror, various beauty products and a singular vase full of white roses. Right next to it, was a white door which Aelin said leads to the washroom and beyond that, the large wardrobe. In front of it was a small, soft, white chair with golden stag figures over it. In the middle of the room, was a small, low, cream colored rectangular table and next to it, were two light gold lounge chairs. Behind the table and the chairs, was one large floor to ceiling window that was covered by, again, white see through curtains and beyond that, it seemed that there was a balcony that overlooked the vast expanse of this territory. The floor was covered in a large, white rug with pale pink and gold designs all over it. The room smelled of roses, vanilla, and other lovely citrusy scents.

"Aelin, I am so glad you listened to me when I said that we needed to have a feminine guest room for our female visitors." Elide said, gazing lovingly into the room.

"One of the best rooms in the West wing." Lysandra said before winking at y/n.

"Get some rest, I shall have food delivered to you and we can begin tomorrow."

Y/n gave a small thankful nod, but before she could say anything else, a messenger with black hair and gray eyes came into the room, bowed to Aelin and said with a small smirk, "Your message was received. King Dorian can't come now which is why Chaol and Yrene are on their way."

Aelin smiled and said, "Thank you Nox, what about Manon?"

"The queen of witches has not replied yet but it seems she has a lot to do in her kingdom. After all, she has to share it. My guess is that she and Dorian will come together."

"Ah those two, I am counting down the days till I hear of their union." Lysandra said while shaking her head.

When Nox saw y/n, he swept his gaze all over her, smirked even bigger than before, before bowing to Aelin and exiting the room.

Aelin, who saw the whole thing, just smiled shaking her head and said, "Nox Owens. He is...we have been friends ever since I was 18 and now he is my main messenger."

Elide took Aelin and Lysandra's hand and led them towards the door but not before saying, "Good night y/n! See you tomorrow."

And as y/n got ready for bed and ate her food, all alone in this foreign place, she wondered what her future held for her and how she would get home.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/n: 4.4k words! Wow... but it was so much fun to write and also why not give you guys some more juicy stuff? Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed reading this and see you in the next chapter <3

Taglist: @wallacewillow0773638 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @ladespedidas @mis-lil-red @going-through-shit @kaitttttttt @bunnyredgirl @crazylokonugget @blackgirlmagicforever

[unicoo]

The way we watch Alicent get pimped out by her dad, sworn to secrecy by the king, forced into a marriage with the same man (who isold enough to be her dad), maritally raped by said old ass husband & forced to carry his heirs in quick succession, all while still growing up herself and losing her only friend…….yet somehow, someway, there are people out there who………blame Alicent…the child? Book!Alicent is a different story, but to sit and WATCH show!Alicent go through all of this manipulation and grooming and abuse, and hate her?! Yeah some of y’all are sick 😭 I’m not even joking because like…..what?!

We are supposed to feel bad for Rhaenyra being forced to marry………but not Alicent? Why? Someone tell me why & quickly!! And don’t you dare say “sHE seDucEd vISerYs”, no, she was manipulated and then told to keep it secret by her king! He knew it was wrong yet didn’t gaf, so where is his hate? Are we being hypocrites guys?

We are supposed to feel bad for Rhaenyra & her kids, but not Alicent & hers who were ignored and treated like shit? Once again where is Viserys’ hate? QUICKLY, tell me!!! He’s neglecting his kids guys, we don’t support that do we?

We are supposed to hate Alicent for how she treated Rhaenyra, but not Rhaenyra for how she treated Alicent? (Especially when it was shown Alicent was trying and she didn’t become hateful until RHAENYRA LIED to her) Why, tell me, tell me, tell me. And don’t you dare say “sHE BEtRayEd hEr bY mARryInG ViSeRYs” SHE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE!!! If we know Rhaenyra didn’t and we feel oh so bad for her, and we know most noble women don’t have a choice, then why are we mad at Alicent like she did? tell me please I BEG!

We scream girl boss for Rhaenyra wanted a son for a son, sorry make that sons for a son, yet Alicent is Beelzebub for wanting Justice for her son (WHO WAS A KID!!!! He hadn’t done shit yet, he was sweet and dragonless & got bullied, then maimed, YOU WOULD BE MAD TOO, lie & say you wouldn’t 😐) anyone who doesn’t understand Alicent’s motives behind the eye for an eye incident is either not a parent or is a heartless monster 🤷‍♀️

Y’all quite literally watched Alicent’s villain origin story and said why she so mad? Are you…..are you seriously dumb or just fucking with me? 😭

Y’all are pro Rhaenyra because she’s a “feminist” yet y’all hate every women who isn’t Rhaenyra……to me it sounds like…….✨hypocrisy✨

And how does one stand for a war against misogyny only to participate in the misogyny themselves? 🤔

The dance is a war against misogyny yet……….no one is stopping the misogyny, just dressing it up with cute excuses and throwing the blame onto the other side………..

(Also like it’s not far fetched to believe Rhaenyra would’ve had Alicent’s kids dealt with, especially since she’s hated Aegon since before he was a baby. My guy was 2 and she was beefing with bro like…. And you can’t say “AliCEnt & OtTo didN’T lEt tHeM hAVE a rElAtiOnsHIP” ummm SHOWwise that is untrue Rhaenyra just didn’t wanna fuck with them kids 😂)

[brightest-stars-if]

i played with m!lux so i didn't get to see the full extent of isolde's bad vibes 🫠 i thought i was just being too sensitive when she treated my mc coldly after i tried talking to her... no wonder lux ended up like that!

Isolde’s abuse of m!Lux is, for now at least, more subtle when you compare it to her abuse of f!Lux.

With f!Lux, she sees her greatest failure. She’s constantly reminded that her greatest regret in life was (in her eyes) not worth it. As a result, f!Lux becomes her pariah, and she lashes out at her. Her own self-hatred warps into contempt for her daughter. That’s how a lot of the verbal abuse from the demo comes into play. To make it worse, she also hates herself more with f!Lux.

With m!Lux, she sees victory (though it’s a rather Pyrrhic one). When she looks at him, she has the consolation that her greatest regret in life was at least worth it, that it’s paid off. As a result, m!Lux becomes her savior in a way, and she’s she’s able to shift some of her self-hatred into misplaced adoration — it’s not a mother’s love, or even love at all, really. She’s so desperate to keep her influence over her son that she works to isolate him from everyone she can, and it makes him incredibly lonely. Of course, he doesn’t realize it’s her fault yet.

[stari-hun]

Reverse 1999 Yappin Masterlist

𓆙 Orange marks the best content

My other Masterlists ! Headcanons and Ships , Wilderness , Critters

Reverse 1999 Character Diagram - Full Game 1.8

Timeline of Events

Insight 2 - Timeline of Insight 2 , Insight 2 is like Winx

Character Bonds - General , Greenlake, Book 6 , Book 6 part 2

The Atlas : Overview and the Narrator's Omniscience

The Atlas : Book 6

What would I ask the Cave of Truth?

Character Analysis

Sonetto - Insight 2 , One Day Sonetto Will Go Against Pavlov

Constantine - Before the Storm, The Happiest about the Storm, Constantine would've always ripped Verneider apart

Sophia and 37 , Looking to you and Looking beyond you

Small Arcana piece from the web event - "The wise ones drew a circle at their feet and declared themselves apart from this realm."

General

Shitty Summaries - Book 3. , Book 5.

Reverse 1999 is an Existential Horror - Vereinsamt and Uncannt Valley Instinct

Scoops of Angst - Marcus , Verneider Vs Isokania , Vertin's Trauma from Book 3 , Sophia and 37 vs Sonetto and Vertin , Sophia left right before the truth reached Apeiron , Mr Karl not being outed as an abuser before or after his death is... , Monologues , KB Shamane and Kumar : The Bullet ,

MESMER AND MEDPOC SIBLINGOLOGY !!!!

37 is the only cast member of Apeiron who truly suits the island, but it's also what makes her naive

"Crush me into dust."

As close as they are, Sonetto and Vertin can never go back to the bond they had as kids while Sonetto is a field agent

Book 6 : Cause it needs its own tab

E Lucevan le Stelle Mini Summary

E Lucevan le Stelle Diagram - 1. , 2.

The Pacing of E Lucevan le Stelle : How the Isolde keeps herself off innocuous until she's ready to enter the stage

Isolde - The Small Room - Isolde Character Story , Isolde is a man hater and it would 100% include Kakania if she was a man

Kakania - My gripes with her , Kakania is an unreliable narrator and dependent on Isolde as well

Marcus - The worst birthday ever (and possibly Isolde's gift)

Isokania - Outside Perspective on Isokania , Doomed from the Start , Their comic panels line up...

Theopil , Theopil Continues to Haunt the Narrative

The Dittersdorf's - Theopil

Isolde and Playwright

Heinrich and Diggers

Isolde - + Jessica , Character Bingo, Trista made the servants think she was crazy, Insight 2

Theories

Arcanists as a Community Don't Think of Sexuality or Gender

Character Stories are The Stories Arcanists WANT to Tell

The Player isn't Vertin

Pandora's Magic on Vertin

The Storm's Origin

Vertin's mom casted the immunity spell on her

Arcana knows the original name for arcanists

Arcana put out the ads for the Manus and information about the Storm out so it could reach the SPDM children

Worldbuilding

The Foundation vs Manus Vindictae

The Foundation (+ School of Discipline and Laplace)

The Artificial Somnambulism and Modern Perspective

The Foundation is Brainwashing People

Zeno - Greenlake's View Versus Rayashki

Reverse 1999 and Customs after the Storm

Shamane's Character Story was good insight on how the ecosystem in Reverse 1999 works.

Appraiser Arcanum - General (Getian, Pandora, Windsong, Marcus) , [Features of Bones]

Arcane Traces last 15,000 - 17,000 years

Numbers System for Book 5

Economy Ramble

Events

Nightmare at Greenlake Relationship Chart

Blonney would be into Creepypasta

Kumar and Shamane : Doomed Family

Kaalaa Baunaa and Divination after Kumar's death

What if Vertin was in Mor Panhk?

Kumar is my favorite NPC and she should be yours too

Shamane and Kaalaa Baunaa and the remnants of Kumar

Makower Overreacted Super Hard

Uluru Games : Ezra saw someone die in his character story??

Bessmert and Getian

Notes on Shuori ; Jiu Niangzi, Getian, and Jessica)

Farewell, Rayashki - Windsongs Vibe , General Vibe + Me being sad and upset

Ley Lines: A Strong Supporting Field

Evgeni is Anti Earth

Series of Dusks -

Semmelweis in imperfect and she embraces it

Kakania is INSUFFERABLE outside of the perspective of someone who needs her

Theory ! The Director intercepted Semmelweis' death

[hysteric-machine]

Spoilers for the new Reverse 1999 chapters

TW Psychophobia, Torture, Intergenerational trauma?, Suicide Attempts...

Now started playing the new story chapters of Reverse 1999. And while I KNEW what I was going to go through, the instant I saw Isolde tied up on the electric chair... I reminded.

I reminded what it did to me as a mentally ill kid to play Alice Madness Returns. What it did to me when I watched Penny Dreadful as a young adult. So I paused. To talk about it.

I am one of the lucky ones. I never had go to a psychiatric ward (my parents tried to get me there after my first suicide attempt, but it was an adult only service, and as a 16 years old I wasn't old enough to enter, luckily my mom was there to attend to me all summer since she worked from home).

I did suffer the stigma, in many ways, but I did not suffer the medical abuse to a no return point extent. Of course the abuse in general is still terrible, but I got lucky. Some friends did not. Someone you know surely got through that. Everyone knows someone broken by psychiatric institutions. And a lot of these unlucky individuals did not recover, and sometimes died from this abuse.

We can argue that it's much better now, that there isn't torture anymore (that's a lie, getting tied down is torture, getting isolated is torture, and I won't start talking about how close to prisons psychiatric wards are, and yes I hate the reality of prisons too).

We can argue about all of this.

But we are still counting our dead. Mourning people that were not helped, not cured, but drowned even further into despair and left in shreds.

And my body knows, when I watch these pieces of fiction, when I read the history of how our condition were "studied", how the DSM got written. I feel an overwhelming and unspeakable fear. Because I know, it's me on the screen. It's my story. It could've been my exact story.

It has been the story of many unluckiest, unprivileged people (at this point I have to mention that of course, it is not just pure luck : if you aren't white, if you're lgbtq+, if a woman, you're particularly poor, if you're from a pious family, if you have commorbidities and many more can add to the list, it's going to be harder and you are the first ones on the list).

I can't ease this feeling. It's like a survival instinct. You know you don't want to ever have to go there. Even if "it can be fine sometimes", "there are some safe wards" or whatever. If you are mentally ill you just know.

So a kind reminder : always consider this when dealing with someone close to you that have mental health issues and seems to not be able to get the help they need, or sometimes are in emergency state. Please don't call the cops. Don't call the emergency services. Please don't get them to a psychiatric ward first without trying everything else, especially if they aren't ok with going there. It is, in and of itself a traumatic experience to live, and even the less abusive institution ARE abusive because psychiatry's history is what it is. It's not because some privileged people got out of there unharmed (and again I can't agree with that) that everyone would.

Anyway, it's all over the place, I can't find a good way to word this, because there is no good way to word that I'm terrified by all that shit, with reason.

Take care of yourself, of your loved ones. You can't change the world, and it is designed in a way that we still have very few alternatives to psychiatry nowadays, so you can't really avoid it all together. Just know that it's not only fiction and incredibly triggering for some of us.

Cheers. If you can relate and wish to read the new Reverse content maybe take your time to be ready, not alone, in a good mindset.

[nobroth]

Pinned post.

This will be a low-activity blog for Alistair Theirin featuring verses in Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, and Dragon Age: The Veilguard.

Guidelines will be the same as they are on @valorcorrupt. Shipping will be based on plots and interactions, please don't assume there's a ship.

Blog canon. | memes. | Bio.

Portrayal notes specific to this blog below the cut:

Alistair is 21 when the Fifth Blight begins. He has a whole bunch of trauma, religious and otherwise, to handle. He's got a complex about other people making choices for him. He will not find it cute or romantic for a Cousland to decide that they can rule together when he has repeatedly expressed that this is something he does not want (without prior discussion, prior meaning before you get to Denerim).

This portrayal will not lean towards the more serious portions of Alistair's personality. I do not see him as a light, happy himbo. Yes he's very happy and very loving when in a relationship. A good friend, a smile and a shoulder when needed. But Shale nails it when she says that he hides behind a "veil of jocularity", but he's not an idiot.

I will have verses for all outcomes from Origins, King drunk and Warden. Obvious cws apply.

Alistair's relationship with Eamon is... complicated but I won't pin it on Isolde. Isolde was also one of Eamon's victims, and though she did bad things Eamon is the one responsible. Misogynistic comments about Isolde won't fly, though there's nothing wrong for naming her as the abuser she is.

The boy is bi. Sorry, but he's not straight.

This Alistair portrayal will see him as brown with slightly pointed ears. I'm probs not gonna have icons bc I'm old and tired, but that's what he is.

[princehendir]

the way that last post extends to morrigan 2.. 27 years of shrimp psychological warfare isolation dehumanization brainwashing and abuse by a legendary immortal witch ENDED by some random ass connecticut clark from dust town ass dwarf guy who is so loves you .i know that old cunt was seething in her little cuck shack. that last part can also be applied to eamon and isolde btw

Haha yes! Yes!

[thisuserislilsilly]

Summary: After our first meeting, I knew I had to make room in my tight schedule of laziness to invite Isolde somewhere nice, but the galaxy is always full of surprises

Genre: Action/fluff/wholesome/angst

Pairing: Crae Vullscat (Rogue Trader) x Isolde (Character belongs to @meervalv0 )

TW: Foul language, fluff, bit of smut (or smut implications), heavy subject implications, hints of mental and physical abuse, reader caution in some portions is advised, otherwise you can skip to another part of the one-shot or skip it entirely

SECTION WILL HAVE "******************************" AT THE START AND FINISH OF IT

Goblin tag squad: @finchly-tintinnabulation @meervalv0 @echo-of-damnation

@cardinalcanis @artemisareia @jaghatai-khock

@druidwolf21

I know is a gif from Arcane, shut up

I didn't saw my fair lady for a couple of standard Imperial years after our first encounter; partially because I needed to complete some contracts and deals with other Trader Houses and partially because I had, mostly, ran out of stories to tell her, which was what I thought at the time the only reason she had maintained contact with me at all. Once or twice the Tear's would get a message from her broadcast, asking how I was doing or what fun adventures my crew and I had taken part of; the usual reply was a short message to basically announce I was still alive and that life had gone it's natural course without many troubles or, well, "expected troubles" more than just being shot at by space pirates or your average local Xeno that thinks you are a threat for being part of one of the largest Imperiums in the galaxy that treats their kind not so nicely. Details, after all.

I had been practicing for weeks and months on end what I wanted to say, really, I did, I even had a spreadsheet with all of the possible starters and enders to a conversation I could think of. Knowing she was more of the strong silent murder hobo type of people I asked literally every strong silent murder hobo person I knew in my ship what they would think it was a good place to take a person out for a friendly conversation....nine out of ten told me to go into a giant arena and bash some skulls in; which I was not thrilled to suggest to Isolde taking into account she was so much bigger than me that in this case size mattered a hell of a lot. Nothing convinced me, nothing was good enough for her, for what she deserved to be called and engaged with; she was more than royalty for my father's beards, she was a damn Astartes at best, an higher ranking officer at worst! I was just a stupid, insignificant little Trader that had managed to entertain her long enough to captivate her attention.

Most of all, now that I have the power of looking back at it with other perspective, I was scared she was...real. I was afraid she truly felt something for me, even if it was as little as just friendship; those who knew me well were aware of this, Gertie many times tried to convince me of just dropping the subject, to realize it wasn't worth it to take risky missions and adventures into the unknown only to have a good story to tell and register on my diaries. He was right, he knew why this whole thing scared me more than the Xenos we fought and the heretics we sacked, she had lasted more than any other past fling I ever had or ever would have after her if that chance didn't work out. Gertie and my crew had rebuilt me once, they didn't want to see me torn into pieces again.

Finally one day my crew and I were unpacking some strange artifacts we had picked up in unregistered worlds I received the message I was longing for; she would had a chance at resting, the war campaign she and her legion had been fighting on was drawing to it's closure. She had time to see me. Words fail to express the joy that came over me; faster than a mutant running away from an Inquisitor I threw whatever I had on my hands onto the cargo hold, hurried up every crew member that was packing stuff to do it faster and I am pretty sure than in all the messy crowd of the space port one or two of my retinue was left behind because of how fast I wanted to get out into the Warp and subsequently on the same region in which Isolde was going to be on.

"Can you slow down, Lord Captain, and tell me why the hell are we in such a hurry? Are we being chased by one of your crazy crushes once again? Have heretics discovered you were scamming them? The Ecclesiarchy has finally tried to indoctrinate you into their Imperial Truth?" I heard Gertie heavy breath as I ran up and down my ship looking for my spreadsheets of flirting "No! Nonononono my dear Seneschal, something much better! Lady Isolde has finally some time for herself! Out there, in some fracking system, she is actually resting and off the battlefield! Do you know what this means!?!?!" I shook Gertie in excitement "You are gonna finally carry her to your bed chambers?!?!" "Yes!....I mean no, no I will be finally able to go on a romantic walk with her!" "Ah....wait a date!?!?!?! Sir-....Sir what do you mean a date!!?!?" Gertie stuttered

I could only laugh like a maniac up to this point; as far as I understood it, every second counted if I wanted to have an opportunity of meeting Isolde again in peaceful times. It was this set of thoughts what led me to boss the Navigator around to make the longest Warp jump they had ever done in the fastest route onto Isolde current system whereabouts. Looking back, I should had thought in the inevitable consequences of that irrational order, but not even the Emperor himself would had been able to convince me of not doing it at that moment, such was my rush to get there on time.

This next part is well known by many historians that have covered Vullscat House so I won't be adding too much into the events that transpired whenever the Navigator raised a prayer to the Emperor and took the Warp jump that blew their head off by how potent it had been and that told every Daemon in the Immaterium that there were some fresh meat trapped in a vessel coursing through their realm ready to be eaten by their demonic mouths and digested on their inhuman bellies. I never payed attention to the classes on the topic of Daemons and the manifestations of the Immaterium in my Schola Administratum days so I will spare the reader from my blunt and simple descriptions of those creatures, that would had inevitably boil down to "This one was uglier than my mother, that one had the face of my sister for a moment before I blew their heads off, the one I killed next was as red as my combipistol" etcetera and etcetera.

I won't do that and, frankly, I found that travel too uninteresting to even add it to my personal memoirs, I am sure all will know it by now if the reader has ever read something else about the Vullscat's or a Imperial book detailing the most recent and extraordinary events that have occurred in the Warp.

Editor's Note: What Crae is referring to here is the infamous "Battle at the future's hells", the Tear's made one of the boldest and largest Void jumps that has ever been registered on Imperial Records, approximately traveling 27 different systems and galaxy regions in the span of two Materium days, but that took years on the Warp for every traveler that had the misfortune of witnessing and living it. Product of the long perilous journey, Daemons and one Greater Daemon of rot manifested themselves onboard of the ship, initiating a battle with the human cohort of the Tears that saw the death of 3/4ths of the crew, only managing to survive a few deck officers, Crae, his Seneschal Gertie and a Ecclesiarchy priest that would later on abandon their religion and live a life of a farmer until their final days in an Agri-World never getting over the horrors that they experienced in the ship. In addendum to that already incredible story of survival, it is believed Crae and his crew saw one of the many possible futures of the Imperium of Mankind but the man has been too stupid, or stubborn, to recollect any of what he saw on the voyage and the event is never recalled again in his memoirs; in consequence, all of what is left of that bold journey through the Immaterium are the broken recollections of now atheist former member of the Imperial Truth and the half truths of the Vullscat Seneschal, that has vowed themselves to not reveal anything and carry the knowledge to their deaths.

Whenever me and the five...ten....twenty crew members that had survived the journey exited the grasps of the Warp the Emperor blessed me and my luck once again by finding Isolde ship just as they were making the preparations for a Void jump. I immediately broadcasted to them of my arrival and the most urgent of requests to have the opportunity of seeing Isolde once again. Also because we were so short on staff I requested (begged if I have to be honest) for some of their serfs and servitors to be borrowed by the Tears as we explored nearby planets to recruit some more that could fill the ranks that had been vacant since the flesh of my previous comrades was still fresh in the walls, ceilings and apparatus of the command ship. Luckily the Ship throne had been left intact, if one could see past the Chaos corruption that had impregnated the artifact and the never-ending whispers that would stain my personal command chair for years to come; my only consolation to that fact is that the voices have passed the point of convincing me to commit suicide or submit to dark powers to just feel pity for me and start complaining about all the noise my inner voice makes whenever I am using the throne.

The ships made contact again, the ports between the two spread out so the bridges collided and the Marines formed a line like they had done in the past, standard stuff that had honestly wore off it's might once I had realized it would be a custom that would repeat every single bloody time I made contact with an Adeptus Astartes ship....fun.

As I slipped pass the Marines of the area, giving them the big ol' "I know your boss, let me through" management speech, my feet carried me to the entrance of Isolde room, I just needed to knock and let my presence be known to her. Or, well, more like letting her know I was already there, she would've been kinda told about my general arrival there taking into account I was seemingly the only human being that willingly wanted to see her in the entire ship, red flags? Pfft nah, that was a gift. So there I was, knocking three times and taking a little step back as you do your first time asking someone out, like in college or your average Astra Progenium halls just to get rejected by Margarett you fucking imbecile that had the balls to dare not take my hand to the ball and instead take BLOODY JONATHAN AND HIS SHITTY STUPID WIG-.

Like I was writing before, I knocked three times and nervously awaited for her to arrive, with her loud footsteps getting closer and closer to the door, holding tightly the little piece of paper where I had written my notes to not just stare at her with big eyes and nothing else; the moment finally arrived when the metallic door slid open and her gorgeous visage appeared in front of me only dressed with a simple robe having hanged her armor on one of the far ends of her chambers. She raised one of her eyebrows, most likely expecting me to explain what I was doing there when this sudden and very rare shyness took over my entire body. One I had never felt before, not even the first time I held hands with Margarett and confessed my love only for her to just refuse it and talk about sweet precious Jonathan having conquered her heart and soul and the prospect of getting married to that asshole that most likely cheated on her ass as it was the obvious thing he was going to do it was so Emperor's damm obvious he was just a playboy out to get her SON OF A BITCH.

Editors note: We have purposely jumped to the end of the page and audio log to spare the dear readers and listeners from the ramblings of a man that hadn't gotten over a breakup that had occurred ten years ago.

Minutes passed as Isolde kept looking at the nervous fragile tiny little me stuttering to get a word in after constantly checking my notes over conversation starters until I blurted out just before her hand could reach the door switch

"My fair lady Isolde, I have humbly cum-come to your chambers to ask of you if your highness could...perhaps...maybe" I tried to articulate as best as I could fidgeting with my fingers "Go out with me" "What use would it be to visit the decks of the ship?" Isolde asked, always the pure innocent beautiful lady "No, I uh, no I wasn't referring to literally cu-cOME outside to the hallways, I meant leaving the ship to go out into the planet we have landed on...the two of us...alone....to distract ourselves from the voyage and whatever may be troubling our souls...and...minds..."

If I had to compare my starter to those I have done before and after that day had passed, or if I had to be brutally honest with myself a Rattling high on the most wildest and spicy combination of banned drugs across the Imperium could had gotten their point across faster and efficiently than whatever had just spill out of my mouth that moment. Luckily Isolde does not remember that, she has told me she just recalls how nervous I was and how "adorable" my mumbling sounded; which credit where credit is due, I prefer she reminisces about that moment qualifying me as cute rather than an idiot.

Isolde only laughed at my comment, genuinely having fun with my stupid stuttering and confusing words, I giggled awkwardly to not make the moment worse for my reputation and extended my hand out to her as too symbolize my intentions of walking out of there with her. It would had been a good gesture, really it would've, if not by the fact my hand barely reached hers and I had to walk on my tiptoes if I wished to maintain that gesture all the way to one of her ships shuttles. My physique didn't last that long holding on to her hand, I got tired and dislocated my arm after the third step as she waved me around making my tiny little bone have a panic attack inside of me and popped out of it's intended position; I pretended that nothing had happened and excused myself as I went to a corner and bashed my arm against the wall to forcefully pop the bone right into it's original place; I screamed out of pain whenever that idiotic plan to fix that situation worked, I never told it to anyone but my arm spent months healing itself afterwards and still today whenever I move my arm I can see the bone making contact with my skin...at least it's a funny thing to brag about in parties now whenever I am drunk.

Anyways with or without my arm hurting like the seven hells of the Warp (don't look at their eyes Crae...don't remember their eyes...) we made it to one of the bigger shuttles that actually fit her large frame while leaving me feeling small, my feet were left dangling from the seat whenever I took one of the chairs close to Isolde (for comfort, of course), the only thought that crossed my mind at that point is how the emergency straps would protect Isolde quite efficiently if anything happened but wouldn't even manage to keep me on the chair as my frame was so little I could literally pass my arms and entire body between the bars with no problem whatsoever. I shook that feeling out of my mind as Isolde sighed next to me and looked down at my frame with a gaze I couldn't guess what it could've meant, but looked like if a lion or some hunting animal had their sights on me, weirdly enough.

"So...where are we going?" She finally broke the silence "We arrrrre going toooooo land in..." I mumbled as my finger passed through different name locations on the screen "Domecracka....! It has good drinks, there's a review saying their dishes are not totally disgusting and a restaurant critic just gave it three stars by the ambience alone! Perfect place to spend a good time" "And what we will do there, Sir Crae?" Isolde spoke so gently I felt like I was in the clouds "Why, dance of course! And drink too, maybe sing a few songs if we are lucky and the booths are empty today" I pressed the destination and the shuttle departed from the ship towards the planet surface "What are these activities you speak of? Is there blood to be spilled?" The lady looked down at her sword "Not at all, there we will just be able to sit back and enjoy a cold one while listening to some tunes and talk about-" I looked down at my hand where I had scribbled some prompts "Life in general!" "Huh, it will be a calm battlefield then" She murmured "Uh I think if you take battle out of that word you would be right on the money" I chuckled "What money?" "Well this is gonna be a long date..." I whispered and leaned back on the chair, seeing through one of the shuttle windows how we were about to do planetfall

I will never forget the look of awe in the face of Isolde whenever we exited the shuttle and stood in front of the big pub before us. It is what I like to remember of that first time, not the weird looks the pedestrian around gave us when passing by our side. I waved my hand to invite her to go inside, rambling on about how she was going to enjoy this and how it was now some time strictly for us; it was my way to tell her I hoped nobody, not her "battle-brothers" or serfs, would disturb us by sending messages or Vox audios through her communication systems or anything of the sort, but Isolde took that rambling quite literally when she threw her helmet out to one of the servitors at the entrance of the inn and told them to keep it until she returned for it. I simply shrugged and smiled, she looked completely out of her field there, which was a good thing, it meant she was trying new stuff.

We searched for a seat in sight of the dance floor and where the roof wasn't too low so she could actually sit comfortably. Once again there were a couple of stares headed our way from other patrons, who had most likely never seen someone like Isolde anywhere near those places. She wasn't paying attention to them however, she was looking straight at me, to how I moved, when I ordered some light beverages to kickstart the whole conversation, when I made her look around to see our surroundings and define with sights what a "pub" was and what people usually did there; she was just soaking everything up, listening attentively to everything I was saying, her head was hung low on the table to look at me better. I...I felt seen, I felt someone was paying attention to my ramblings and my words for the first time in perhaps my entire life. Gertie and the crew had their own ways to block out my words and interpret what I wanted to say, but Isolde was listening to all of the words that were coming out of my mouth, no matter how much I jumped from topic to topic.

She didn't say much at first, taking a much more passive role only listening and doing some sounds for me to understand she was still paying attention to me. I rambled on and on about my adventures, then when that had dried up I said a couple of things about the stuff I was wearing or the cargo back in the ship, I even spoke about where I had gotten the Tears and why I had named it that way. Just blurting out anything I had in my mind, anything that could be counted as topics. Isolde was just present, listening, silent, hooked. When the first row of drinks arrived at our table I realized how much I had been talking, I hadn't even given her the chance of speaking up, of commenting something by herself; I cursed when the reality settled in, I had been dumber than an Ogryn and more rude than a commissar that whole time.

"I...uh....sorry for speaking too much I-I...was so excited to be here with you that...um..." I looked downwards, ashamed of my actions "I was listening" She bluntly spoke up, leaning her head against her arms "Yeah but I didn't let you have a go at speaking to me" I coughed to clear my throat "But...I don't have anything to say, your stories are interesting, captivating" She placed a finger on her cheek "Well...you can say stuff, like whatever you want! This doesn't have to be an interrogation or anything of the sort, you know? In here you can just...talk" "What do you mean just talk? Like I don't have to wait for my turn?" Her eyes lightened up "Yeah, you can just...go to town with it!" I smiled "But how can I-" "Like this" I interrupted abruptly, making her eyes open widely "You just-" She pointed at me "I did" "Stop...stop tha-" "Interrupt me" I teased, smirking" "I-I will-!" "Too slow" "Well you aren't talking mu-" "Did it again" I leaned back in my chair as sassy as I could "I'll punch y-" Her cheeks went red "Nah, you won't" "I wi-!" "You won't!" I pointed a finger at her "Yes I w-" "Nuh uh" "Yuh uh!" I almost fell off my chair at that tender moment "Nuh-" "I will!" Her smile widened as she interrupted me "Hah! I did it" "Pfft that? That was just lu-" I smiled when I saw her opening her mouth again "Nope!" Now it was Isolde turn to have a smug smile "It wasn't" "Alri-" "Nah!!" She giggled "Excuse m-?" I pretended to act all offended

We kept on going with the banter for a few minutes, that little game between us, some little space where I felt like a kid making friends again; like if for a while the space surrounding us had faded into the background, I could only hear her voice, she could only hear mine. We were two little stars on a void of endless war and suffering, two laughs between sobs and oaths of vengeance. It was what I wanted to make possible for once in my life, just once, I felt I had a normal life.

"Okay okay...tell me something about yourself now" I wiped a tear out of my face "What is there to say? I serve the Emperor and-" "Uuuuuuuuuuuuugh boooooring" I dragged out the words and rolled my eyes back "Well what am I supposed to say!?!?" She giggled, offended "I don't know your...your brothers! Or your dad, tell me something about them" I shrugged "Well...." Isolde thought for a moment "I used to watch the older Dark Angels train with their swords and plasma rifles...I held my first weapon at, Emperor when was it? I was five?" "Alright, alright we are making some advances, that's good" I took a swig out of my glass "Now tell me something that doesn't include training or killing" "Wha-you just banned half of my life there!" She pouted "Well then fucking tell me about the half I didn't ban!" "My dad used to take me and my brother out for a walk in every single forest we ran into when he was on war campaigns" Isolde drank from her own cup and with the tip of her fingers she made little circles on the edges of the cup "I always got impatient and ran off ahead of them so they could hurry up" "You weren't too much of a fan to look at the scenery?" "No, no I was; just that Leon and dad always walked slower and got on my nerves" Isolde chuckled "Damm, that's an interesting name for a child" Crae pointed out as he grabbed his glass and was about to drink from it "It sounds almost like the Primarch" "Of course it does, Lion named him and mom named m-"

Isolde didn't got to finish the phrase before I spat all of the drink I had in my mouth to the robes of Isolde. My face turned pale, holy fucking shitting Emperor's dick Isolde was the daughter of a fucking PRIMARCH and I was about to propose HAVING SEX with her after hanging out ON A DATE. I couldn't believe it, I couldn't begin to imagine how fucked I was at that moment if I didn't immediately stand up and get the fuck out of there before it was too late and I screwed it up even more than what I already was.

Meanwhile Isolde had opened her eyes widely and looked down at her, now slightly wet, robe. She probably didn't realize what had just happened, what hanging out with me at that moment really meant, hell I wasn't even sure she could understand what that whole date was trying to imply. She had just been spit on by the man that had just made her say a good fond memory. I had to fix that too before she ripped my head off from a single punch.

"Oh for the love of all the Saints I am so sorry Lady Isolde, Mistress Isolde, venerable daughter of all that is pure and holy-" My voice began to break as I grabbed a towel and tried to help her "It-it-it's okay Crae, don't-" Isolde blinked twice "Oh sweet lady of the Angels of the Emperor I ask for your forgiveness on my intrusion of your sacred body in this terrible hour, I plead for my life if it isn't too late already, I don't have kids or a wife at home to feed but I have a little bird named Pidgey that would get mad at me if I don't return to pet it-" I began to ramble out of sheer panic, it didn't help that some of the beer had fallen on her chest area...that I was now touching "What are you talking about!?!?! Why did you change your mannerisms all of the sudden?!?!?" I think she genuinely began to worry that my brain had just collapsed inside of my head, or that I had gone mad "I-I-I....you are the daughter of a Primarch and I just got you to a bar that isn't even the best one there is around here that has some scumbags and mercenaries around oh fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck-" My head was spinning, heart was beating faster, I had what the kids call a nervous breakdown "Crae.....Crae......" Isolde looked directly at my eyes as I was still trying to make things right "I'm fucked I'm fucked I'm fucked I'm fucked I'm fucked I'm fucked I'm fucked I'm fucked-" At this point of the story I don't have any words to add, just read how nervous I was for fuck sake "Crae...I am not my father and I know where I am" Isolde spoke calmly, lifting my chin to look at her directly "I don't wanna be judged by the High Lords of Terra for treason and wanting to sleep with a Primarch's daughter I swear I just thought you were a mutant of some sorts that was just big or that the abuse of drugs throughout my younger years started to affect my perception of reality-" I was shivering

Just like our last meeting, Isolde stood up and lifted me up by the arms to her eye level, my feet were dangling in the air flailing about, my arms went limp to the sides and my eyes stared right at Isolde's. The always confident and totally cool with the ladies Crae Vullscat had been reduced to a mumbling shivering scared nervous fucking mess, not even the most retarded of Orks or intelligent amongst the Ogryns could had ever done justice or come close to the amount of shame I was irradiating from my body movements right about then. Twenty year old me would've shot himself if he had seen me at that moment. Hell even fifty year old present me would had shot myself a couple of times at that moment.

The gesture got it's results though, as my heart rate slowly went down and I took quick and shaky deep breaths to calm myself, Isolde stared at me throughout the whole endeavor like a mother looks at it's problematic child whenever they throw a fit. If I didn't care that other's were watching now I may had been able to notice how everyone including the bartender and a guy that was being shank in the corner of the inn were with their jaws stuck to the floor. As my brain connected itself again to my body, the initial fear was slowly replaced by....pride; fuck yeah I had invited a daughter of a Primarch to go on a date! I had all the charisma on the world to do it! It was coming out great actually, so why didn't the whole universe just suck it up? I was going to do the unthinkable, the stuff legends were made out of! I was going to go absolutely into town with her, might as well just have the roughest, meanest, wildest sex no human had ever gotten with a Primarch descendant and record it firmly in my brain so every detail, thrust, bite, nimble, tit squeeze, suck of my cock, a little bit of biting or choking the hell out of me could be forever in my mind to retell with the outmost detail as possible! I wanted to shout now, to howl in victory, I didn't need to go on dates and fail at them miserably because everyone just considered me a sex toy to explore and sink their little cucks into so they could suck the life out of me and only please themselves while I was left to bear the scars alone of a full life without any kind of sexual gratification and only receiving the low ends of my entire existence just so years later I could reflect I had been used and discarded time and time again until my perception of love had been completely altered and shattered because of my heavy past experiences with manipulative fucks.

Editor's note: To preserve his memoirs as intact as possible, we as editors had to include this and not censor any of the raw thoughts that bubbled to the surface. Just to show the man beyond the smiles, as a team we are not ashamed to show his reality.

Where....where did I had left the story again? Oh...yeah the excitement.

"I...you can put me down now, I'm better" I stuttered ever so slightly "You sure there are no more panic attacks or weird spacing out?" Isolde asked sincerely "I'm...sure" I blinked as she delicately placed me again on the ground, coughing awkwardly

I returned to my own chair in silence, looking down at the beer and just chugging it all down before asking for another round, to hell with it, I was just going to let it all flow just like I was doing it before. With the dizziness of the drink still in effect, I told Isolde to continue with her stories and after a moment of hesitation she did just that, telling me about her youth with her dad, the Lion no less, and her brother, the places she had visited and how closely they all were. A big family, with a big heart as well, they all seemed to get along fine and dandy; which inadvertently lead down to the one topic I didn't want to be on the receiving end of.

***********************************************************************

"So...how was your childhood? What adventures did you have?" She leaned forward, ready to listen "Well...fine...normal like any other. I just stick to go into the Schola where I could learn a few things of the trade and then returned to command the ship that I have ow" I evaded details like the plague "Oh come on I know there must be something else! I just told you mine!" Isolde flustered her eyes, much to my dismay "My little sister always tried to kill me, I just remember us playing with knives as kids and her taking it so seriously" I shrugged "She did what?" Her face turned to a scowl "Yeah, I was the heir like all firstborn children are, so that was honestly almost expected of her" "And your father just rolled with that?" She raised an eyebrow "He couldn't, he was dead" I sighed and stared at my half empty glass "What...?" Her expression changed again "Yeah...the inquisition got him by the time I was ten...I never really had too much of a connection with him, but that's what got me to the Progenium so early in life...my mom didn't had the resources for her t manage the wealth of the Vullscat's because my dad obviously didn't left a will for those things, so I was the heir until I could claim that right" "How was the Schola?" That dreadful question finally came

I stood there in silence for a minute, pondering what to say. Nobody, not even me, wanted to hear how a kid was bullied by their entire class because of the suspicions that had killed his dad, neither nobody wanted to touch or kiss a "tainted" by the Chaos creature like me except for that...woman. For whom I own "growing up so fast" at my late childhood and early teen years. I knew that nobody would believe anyways that a Sister of Silence touched by Slaneesh would ever hide amongst the ranks of the officers of a institution so important like the Schola Progenium and "punish" that child for the sins of his father. Dooming his innocence by her touch forever...

"It was...what I needed to survive" I said in a whisper as to not break down into tears "You don't have to tell me" Isolde placed a hand on mine "Thank you" I looked up at her, my eyes were wet. That touch meant everything, she wouldn't realize it until years later

I wiped the tears off from my face with the sleeve of my uniform, pushing the memories to the back of my head sighing, she didn't need to know, I couldn't spoil something like that, tell her those things on the first serious date I had with her; who would ever get a second date after dropping a bomb on them like that? Nobody, that's who, nobody.

**********************************************************************

Some time passed, unknown to me, I couldn't calculate it then and I still have troubles to do it now, I just remember the music blaring behind us, inviting daring couples to join the dance floor. That was enough to snap out from the mind hellhole I had sank into; I looked up at Isolde, who was still quiet out of respect for the nerve she had inadvertently touched by her last question, and took one of her hands and squeezed it; the faint joys of being around her returning once more to my head.

"Have you ever danced before?" I asked shaking her hands "Yes, I have, sword fighting-" Isolde blinked "Not that....dancing! You know, moving your body to the beat of the music and just closing your eyes and letting the flow get to ya?" I nodded "Oh like chanting of the veterans when they pray to the Emperor?" "....You don't know how to dance...okay let's go" I stood up from the chair and walked over to her, offering a hand "Where?" She giggled "To teach you how to dance, just follow me"

Switching to the arm I hadn't broke yet because of her "handle" of my wobbly human body, I carried her to the center of the inn, everyone watched but I didn't care, Isolde did though when she nervously chuckled and looked around; that facade of formality was completely gone, we couldn't go back to it even if we tried, there was something so unique about it all, it was a change indescribable but real, I felt it, she did too, I like to believe. The trance of her form and eyes had distracted me from the obvious height difference that impede us from forming a true duet; that sucked. So close yet so far from teaching her how to enjoy one of the most beautiful things of being alive and to be human. I couldn't allow it from separating us.

"Now what...?" She noticed our problem too, kneeing to be at my level "No no, don't do that, you can't truly feel like dancing that way...uh...one second" I raised a finger and smirked

I had watched one of the big burly boys that the local planetary system had for their defenses the moment I entered the bar, at first thinking they'll be intimidating but now some other ideas were running through my mind. I ran towards them, all cocky and sure of myself, tapped their shoulder and began to use my charming personality and the privileges of having someone bigger than him behind me as a backup.

"Oi you" I raised both of my eyebrows "What ye want" He looked down on me "I need you for something, how much you charge for the hour" It wasn't a question, I was demanding "Heh heh heh, ye drunk lad, go bother someone else" The big chunky motherfucker thought that would be enough to sway me "Look that's alright, I'll go bother that tall lady...see her? She's bigger than you and right about now she's my friend. You want me to call her here so she can ask you the same question?" I pointed at Isolde, that froze in place at the sight of being pointed at "Twenty" The man spat on the ground "Well that's not so ba-" I shrugged "Thousand credits, or beer for a year here" The big boi laughed at me, actually thinking I hadn't heard that tactic before "How about two hundred thousand big guy" I smirked

The fool didn't even let me finish the thought, just grumbled and stood up. I smiled and we walked back to where Isolde as. She was completely stunned at the sight of someone joining us, like a dandry lizard on the headlights of a roadsounder. I waved my hand in front of her to signal everything was okay, then I shifted my attention to the big guy and pointed to the ground.

"Right, sit, I need to get in your shoulders" "Ye wha-?" He started to protest "Ah, ah, ah" I shook my finger "What about your money?" "Ugh...fimsddskfine" He mumbled and sat on the ground

With the skill honed by a thousand ship boardings I jumped elegantly onto the shoulders of the man and nodded, he lifted me up with all his strengths holding me tightly by the legs; then once I had my point of balance in order I moved my left leg slightly so the man repeated the motion and took a step forward, then I did the same with the right leg and once again the man copied my moves. That is where the fun truly began.

"Isolde...I need you to take my hands" I extended my limbs towards her, trying to keep balance "Crae this is-" Isolde hadn't stopped laughing since she guessed what I was about to do, holding her belly "Just do it!" I said chuckling

Once our fingers were intertwined the lesson truly began. I instructed her that at the sound of the beat she needed to move to one side, then the other, then to the first position once again, then do a spin and so on and so forth. She slowly caught up to my instructions, her body prepared for a thousand techniques and combat stances slowly shook those learnt steps off and started to just improvise, be free on the movements of her heart and soul, soon Isolde was just a blur of white and blue; dancing around me and the guy who could barely keep up with her much to my fucking dismay. Such a beautiful moment I was catching just glimpses of because the fucker with the big belly wasn't moving at her rhythm.

"Keep up with her come on!" I grunted in frustration "OI SHE MOVES TOO FA-" "I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT, YOU MOVE WITH HER, AT HER PACE OR I SWEAR TO THE EMPEROR AND MY ANCESTORS THAT I WILL BREAK YOUR LEGS AND THEN USE YOUR WOBBLY CHUBBY CORPSE TO FEED MY CREW FOR AN ENTIRE FUCKING YEAR SO THEN YOUR CARCASS CAN BE IMPALED ON THE TOP OF MY SHIP AND USED AS A FLAG FOR ALL THE WARP ENTITIES TO SEE YOUR MISERABLE PILE OF SHIT-!" I couldn't explain exactly if I said that out of frustration or I was already too enthusiastic with Isolda to say anything else

The man just stood there silently, seemingly taking the offense very close to his chest; he kept up with the best pace he could, but the lady being a holy beautiful blessed being as just she could be, Isolde was too fast even at his best efforts. I was losing time, tempo and the opportunity to be with her. I grunted and decided to go for one of the most craziest things I had ever done...

"Isolde....catch me!" "Wha-!?!?" She couldn't go further than that when I suddenly jumped out of the arms of the man to land into her chest "What are you doing!?!?" "Just imagine I can touch the ground....! Keep going!"

Isolde hesitated at first, but then kept going. I moved like a rag doll in her arms, holding tightly to not accidentally be launched straight into a wall and turn to "Shait'e Cremieré" on contact with it; but soon enough I managed to intertwine one hand with her and then the other, squeezing her. She understood the assignment and soon enough she was holding me by the waist with one hand and with the other we were holding each other. It was like a balls...if one partner was much larger than the other one that had their feet comically dangling. We locked eyes, we shared laughs and giggles over how silly this whole situation was; under that light, the disco ball reflecting colors unto the dance floor and her face, did I saw her for all of her beauty and heart.

Those once I believed white hair showed it's true colors, I saw it blonde, her beautiful silky smooth hair looked like the sun I always wanted to see whenever I woke up to in the mornings, those two pearls for eyes she had were all the treasures I wished to have and never let go of, that strong tight grip in her hands was what I wanted to pin me in bed whenever we would love each other. I died that day, I died in those warm, squishy, beautiful, comfortable arms of hers. I would go there, write about it, talk about it and return to that moment each and every second of the rest of my life. Those precious minutes I wanted to savor and save in a bottle to never lose them.

I never will, for as long as I live, forget my first dance with my wife.

The music faded, the laughter subsided and gave way for the realization, she stopped moving and I was left there, hanging from her arms, held dearly in them. I lifted my hand with care towards her cheek, caressing it. I coughed to clear my throat and then I delivered what I think were the words that finally showed I was at her mercy forever more.

"Will you lend me the honor and privilege...of kissing you, Isolde?" "You may, Sir Crae" She replied, sweetly.

Editor's note: For as lovely as Crae describes in the next sentences this kiss, footage of that night shows it was everything but ordered and tender. In the personal opinion of the editor, it was messy and sexily unhinged as all hell.

Our lips touched like two puzzle pieces meant to compliment each other, I felt my lips slowly depart as her tongue introduced itself on my mouth, to be fair and not romantic at all I almost choked on it, really, when someone is big in height everything else is big as well so her tongue was already having difficulties to go in my mouth, could you imagine, whoever the heck is reading this, her just pushing a little harder inside of my mouth? If it wasn't for the heat of the moment I would've been trying to stop her before she choked me to death with her tongue. But as a gentleman, I resisted the temptation to stop her, only lightly pushing her so Isolde could get the idea.

Editor's note: The kiss involved their tongues, a lot of saliva, Crae in fact CHOKING for a couple of seconds, inhaling deeply and going again repeating the motion in a morbid yet fascinating display of endurance.

From there I don't know how did we got a room for ourselves, hell I don't remember how we even fit the key in their respective hole when opening the door as we were focused on each other. For not kissing never before in her life and never having these kinds of human connections, I gotta admit Isolde really was a beast on the department of giving kisses even before we practiced how to do less than messy ones after the fact. However what we did not accounted for due to her inexperience was....the intimate moments of having sex.

"Take your robe off..." I panted as I took my shirt off in one single motion "What?" She caught her breath "Yeah your clothes, we-w-we...I mean I thought we were gonna-" I left the phrase hanging "Going to do what?" That....that was a genuine question of hers "Sex? Intercourse...some people call it the horny time or hanky panky-" "Don't ever say those words again" "....Yup that was weird" I scratched the back of my head, what an idiot "How do we manage to do...sex?" She said the word like if it was in another completely different language "With our clothes off" "Then how would we....defend ourselves?" "Pffft from what?!?!?" I was trying really hard to not laugh at her innocence "If an enemy attacks...?" She implied it was so obvious "Nobody is going to attack you here Isolde, trust me" "You would protect me?" She arched an eyebrow "Well I always come ready with one envelope just in case" "You put your sword in an envelope?" "Oh yeah...." "Wouldn't it be too big to fit in it?" "Somehow I make it work" "You gotta teach m-" "Oh my Emperor you were referring to a real sword..." The realization dawning on me made me giggle for a second before biting my lower lip

There was an awkward silence that followed me almost falling from the bed after she had ever so innocently not catch the double meaning of our conversation at all....it felt too cruel to spell it out for her at the moment, it would ruin both the fun and the otherwise pretty intimate moment we were having there. Beneath all of the smirks and jokes I was still a bit afraid that the worries of Gertie and the rest about...what could happen if I actually went through with it was not the most comforting thought ever but I got rid of those thoughts when I thought of Isolde; this was going to be her first time, I had to at least make it good.

It was weird, not starting or anything of the sorts, she herself was fine, very fine, perhaps too perfect under the robes that had held her visage hidden from me. It reminded me of those old Terran books in which Xenos beyond human comprehension told some very scared humans to "not be afraid" as if seeing a ball of eyes and wings descending on them wasn't excuse enough to be afraid and pull out a bolter to start blasting. That same feeling was what I felt at the moment of seeing her naked body and her boobs; I could've cried from the happiness of knowing I was the first man seeing them but I controlled myself just in time.

I am pretty sure her amusement and awe grew too when she saw my cock though; I don't mean to brag but there was a reason I had said before I was the victim of a lot of advantages and usage of my body for purely political and ethical reasons in the past. Oh yeah, a lotta people had used my private parts to get what they wanted out of me and then discard me....what a great fucking thing to brag about I'll stop now.

Editor's note: Not commenting on if the dick measurement was true or not, this editor sincerely adds that from now on those self degrading commentaries about himself will. be censored and not included, both for the readers immersion in Crae tales and to keep a bit of his honor and figure

First impressions aside, it took a while for us to exactly get how....the events were going to play out, due to a quick study of the situation of our differences in....height tolf us pretty quickly we were gonna have problems on that department. Sure nowadays we can do it no problem knowing the ways and limits of one another, but for our first time things weren't so...clear. To make our story short and spare the details of embarrassing attempts, I asked as gently as I could for Isolde to relax and lay in bed, slightly spreading her legs and stay in that position. I aimed, like that, to please her first and then see if I could had some too, rubbing circles with my fingers around her lips to make the flow more bearable and quickly set the mood for her.Isolde responded with some faint but pretty indicative moans, telling me I was headed the right way, even when it was hard for me to tell taking into account it was almost as big as my bloody mouth.

We went well for the first couple of minutes, carrying the process slowly but gently, once my fingers were wet enough I introduced two of them, gently once again, into her insides. Isolde moved around somewhat but still managed to enjoy more than think in what we were doing. Feeling bold I made the one mistake that would end this whole chapter of our relationship in a comical yet still fond way. You see I must have triggered some fight or flight response, particularly the first part of that response, when I placed my head and lips directly on Isolde pussy; to make it "special" I thought in not telling her about this, to make the sensations surprise her in the best of ways.

Little did I know that as soon as she felt my tongue inside of her, her left leg went up to the sky, shook for one second and then came down crashing against my head. The impact made my body bounce off from the bed and down I went to the floor, managing to hear in my last second of consciousness: "Crae....? Crae???? OH BY THE EMPEROR CRA-!"

[queer-ragnelle]

so many people who write medievalisms about arthuriana: "what if I took this genuinely cool and complex female character and made her totally unrecognizably cruel and evil for literally no reason"

like leave those ladies alone!!!!! if I want to read some modern arthurian retelling it should not be more mysogynistic and cruel to women than literal actual medieval misogyny!! you are doing the good work posting about the horrors these authors visit upon medieval women so I can take those books right out of consideration when I'm looking for something to read

I’m actually glad to hear this helps, anon.

Sometimes I worry that by mentioning a bad retelling it will encourage people to seek it out for morbid curiosity. But they’re really not worth it. I buy books on sight, like recently Bedivere by Wayne Wise or The Book of Gaheris by Kari Sperring and that’s what I did for the four Lavinia Collins books. I don’t recommend this method lol but to me it’s helpful as a writer to determine what I don’t like in a retelling and also I can then make informed recommendations or warnings for others. Sometimes a book is great until the end like The Bright Sword by Lev Grossman and I would still recommend it, but others I dropped or skimmed the remainder of like The Winter Knight by Jes Battis.

What kills me is when people recommend a book to me like “You should read Persia Woolley’s trilogy, it’s great! Has all the characters!” Then you open it up and Guinevere is so misogynistic and callous to the women she meets it’s completely insufferable. Palomides is an orphaned slave and constantly othered as “the Arab.” Isolde is a child bride. Agravaine is despised by everyone and literally has a mental breakdown after finally snapping from child sexual abuse, kills Morgause, and is thrown into prison to rot. Then he’s released to kill Pellinore and Dinadan so Gawain and Gaheris can be let off the hook. Ragnelle is there. But at what cost? The subtext is kinda racist to her and Gingalain anyway because they’re dark skin “wild” fay people that don’t speak the language so her loathly lady storyline has….bad vibes. Gingalain coming to court and weirding people out with his appearance and then dropping dead outside Guinevere’s chamber was not it for Fair Unknown enjoyers like myself.

I could go on it’s kind of endless. My goal though is to focus on what’s good out there. It can be challenging bc when are the Orkney bros ever all good at the same time? Almost never. So there’s a trade off—are a great Gawain, Agravaine, Gaheris, and Gareth worth it if Mordred is tying women to the bed to rape and mutilate them? (Guinevere Evermore by Sharan Newman) The highs and lows are so extreme it’s maddening. But I’ll do my best to recommend things worth reading even with the yucky stuff. Maybe I’ll make pros and cons of each….

[christiannegg]

New DND character, Isolde - a black Dragonborn warlock who uses and abuses the Mask of Many Faces invocation to fit in.