#Is YuanQiu the BingQiu equivalent?

[delicioussshame]

I had a chat about YQY and SY, and this happened. Should have another part some day.

Yue Qingyuan had spent an unreasonable amount of time trying not to ponder the particulars of Xiao Jiu’s relationship with Luo Binghe. Nothing good would come out of him wondering if Luo Binghe really was as good a cook as he had heard, and how much that mattered to someone who grew up eating anything he could get his hands on because he never knew when it would happen again.

He has especially tried to keep his mind away from their bedroom. Sadly, he had always struggled with respecting this aspect of Xiao Jiu’s privacy.

The man had never made it easy, visiting brothels despite Yue Qingyuan’s jealous rebukes. As far as Yue Qingyuan knew, he’d stopped after his qi deviation, but if this was what he’d chosen instead, Yue Qingyuan would have preferred he kept visiting his anonymous mistresses. It hurt to know his gender wasn’t the obstacle he’d always thought it was. That the life he’d always dreamed of, and always dismissed as unrealistic, had only been slightly out of reach. If he’d pushed more, if he’d pursued Xiao Jiu with even half of Luo Binghe’s drive, would it have been enough? Xiao Jiu could evidently forgive major affronts, if Luo Binghe’s various outrages could be rewarded with lifelong commitment. Why not his?

It’s too late. Xiao Jiu wore red for Luo Binghe, not for him. Lingering on what could have been is useless. He would never get to taste Xiao Jiu’s skin, would never put the experience he’d gotten trying to forget him in others’ arms to good use. He had to accept it.

Or at least, he had thought he never would.

As the sect master, he was very cognisant of all matters of ridiculous problems the members of his sect could get into. He had, on more than one occasion, stared down at the poor disciple stuck with the chore of informing him of the latest debacle until said disciple was on the verge of tears, too flabbergasted by the utter nonsense being told to respond.

He still hadn’t expected the flower he’d found on his desk to randomly spurt pollen, coating both Xiao Jiu and he in bright yellow powder. They’d both stared at the flower instantly withering in a most unnatural manner before everything that wasn’t Xiao Jiu stopped mattering at once.

He’s never going to be able to work again without getting an erection. It’s a problem.

He’s still torn on the event. Part of him can still feel Xiao Jiu under the tips of his fingers, can still hear his beautiful voice break into his office, can still taste him on his tongue. He could never regret acquiring that knowledge.

Part of him wishes it never happened, if only because it only made him more aware of what he will never have again. It will only be harder to accept Xiao Jiu chose someone else now that he confirmed he is sweeter than in his wilder dreams.

But more than anything, Yue Qingyuan is angry enough he could slaughter Luo Binghe. In fact, he can barely control his rage. Luo Binghe won Xiao Jiu, and what does he do with him? He handles him so roughly that his imperturbable love couldn’t hide his bafflement when his time with Yue Qingyuan didn’t cause him pain.

At first, Yue Qingyuan had thought Xiao Jiu’s embarrassment couldn’t be helped. Who wouldn’t be embarrassed in his position? He, who was usually so in control, lost all of it to a man he spent his life denying. Yue Qingyuan himself couldn’t find it in himself to fake not having enjoyed this. He would have preferred Xiao Jiu’s enthusiastic consent, but since that was taken from them both, there was no point in mourning it.

He started getting worried when it became obvious Xiao Jiu wasn’t only tongue-tied, he was wondering whether to ask something of him. At that moment, when Xiao Jiu still wore the imprint of his teeth and smelled of them both, Yue Qingyuan couldn’t see himself refusing him anything. He gently prompted him to ask for whatever it was, expecting a request for a bath or clean clothes, desperately wishing for a confession of another nature completely.

Xiao Jiu’s actual request wiped his mind clear.

He had answered Xiao Jiu, as he always did. Had channeled Mu-shidi as he explained in his most clinical terms how to prepare a lover and what to use to make the process easier, while planning the murder of the man who couldn’t even bother to ask a whore how to make it good for the man he claimed to love so much. Not that he should have forced himself on Xiao Jiu. By all means, Luo Binghe should have been the one submitting to his shizun.  

He’s still not over it. Can’t get over it. Can’t stop himself from imagining how painful sex must have been for Xiao Jiu to dare ask him about it. Why not turn to the many prostitutes he knew for help? Why wait? Was he afraid of Luo Binghe’s reaction?

Yue Qingyuan is going to kill Xiao Jiu’s husband.