#Insta live today just made it worse lol

[valent-y-ne]

I miss them ❤️

[crimsonhcadache]

      - ̗̀ NOW INTRODUCING:  IVES ❝ IVY ❞ SERRANO !

( DANNA PAOLA, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER, SCORPIO, 24 ) I just spotted IVES “IVY” SERRANO at the beach today. Don’t you know them? They live down by the TOWERS and usually hang out with the RICH KIDS & MUSICIANS cliques. From what I’ve heard, they can be DECEITFUL, but they’re also ADAPTIVE. I always think of them when i hear LAST LAUGH - FLETCHER and tend to associate them with STRAWBERRY CHAMPAGNE, A FRESH SET OF STILETTO NAILS, AND RED LINGERIE. ( tay, she/her, 22, est )

full name: natalie rose serrano ives serrano nicknames: ivy, poison ivy faceclaim: danna paola voiceclaim: lana del rey birthday: november 1st, 1996  zodiac: scorpio sun, aries moon, gemini rising sexuality: bisexual occupation: influencer, instagram model, musician, scammer / thief positive traits: effervescent, bold, creative, charismatic, coquettish, intuitive, ambitious, alluring, adventurous, perceptive  negative traits: cantankerous, deceitful, envious, manipulative, dramatic, stubborn, narcissistic, materialistic, reckless, quick-tempered character inspos: maddy perez euphoria, jackie burkhart that 70’s show, blair waldorf gossip girl, margo hanson the magicians, every lana del rey song ever, lucrecia montesinos and cayetana pando elite, rosa diaz brooklyn nine nine, the entire rose family schitts creek, jen harding dead to me

- ̗̀♡ — › background !

the main thing u need to know about ivy is that she is lying ! always !! her real name isn’t even actually ivy smh

she was born NATALIE ROSE SERRANO, to two working class parents in new york city. she knew from a young age that she was just supposed to be rich and famous, and that something had gotten mixed up somewhere and she was put in the wrong life.

in high school she got a scholarship to a fancy private catholic school, and that’s where she started to hone her craft of manipulating rich people. she would befriend all of the richest bitches at school and take advantage of everything that came along with it: vacations to far away places, stays in the family’s cabins and lake houses, even designer clothes that her friends no longer wanted and would gift to her, thinking it was their idea all along

as she grew up and got better at getting what she wanted out of people, her entitled attitude only got worse, driving a wedge between her and her parents, who kept waiting for her to develop a work ethic and kept being disappointed. a few months after she graduated high school, on her 18th birthday, her parents kicked her out of the house and cut her off, hoping that it would force her to grow up and take on any responsibility

but that plan backfired for them, her parents underestimating how truly stubborn natalie was. the day after her 18th, she wandered into a local strip club and got a job, figuring it’d be the easiest and quickest way to get some cash, and she took to it naturally and actually really enjoyed stripping

she started to embody an entirely new persona that she had created for herself, dancing under the name POISON IVY and telling everyone she was a trust fund baby that had been cut off from her rich parents, needing to dance to supplement her income, and her lies just continued to spiral out of control until she almost started to believe it herself. she had never told anyone at the club her real name, not even the other strippers, just going by “ivy” for a while.

she had learned to weaponize the power she had over people by being pretty and charming, using her looks for absolute evil and doing whatever it took to get money—from straight up pickpocketing, to making men buy her expensive gifts, to blackmailing, to sugar babying, to getting patrons wasted and manipulating them into tipping her absurd amounts… she did it all, very quickly earning enough to live the life she had always dreamed of, that she felt she deserved for whatever twisted reason.

she started posting on instagram with the name poison ivy generally just flaunting her carefree, extravagant life, often exaggerating or down right lying just to really dazzle her quickly growing audience

as she started to go down the influencer route, she realized she needed to do something to hide the skeletons in her closet ( the fact that she didn’t actually come from money and was making far more than was normal for even the best of dancers, a couple of small possession / shoplifting charges, and just generally anything that could lead people to her real identity ) so she started to tell people her name was ives, fully taking on the new identity. she even went so far as to make some of the people that had been closest to her sign NDAs about her real identity, making sure that no one could sell info about her should her plan of being famous work out

she also moved out to california to run away from everyone in the city that was starting to catch on to what she was doing, basically doing all the same shit but now in a New Place.. this was about 3-4 years ago, so she’s been in sunhollow for a while now doing the whole influencer thing !!

and it did work out !! at first she was definitely buying followers/likes to boost her likelihood of brand sponsorships, but eventually she faked it until she made it and actually attained influencer status. she then used her newfound internet fame ( and some classic blackmailing ) to get herself a record deal 

she also started sleeping around with pretty much any famous person she could, having very public relationships and breakups and scandals to keep her name in the press, which ultimately lead to more exposure/people following her, if only to see what she did next, which lead to even more sponsorships

eventually she stopped dancing and just focused on her influencing and more recently ( like... less than 6 months ago recently ) her music career. but she never stopped sugar babying and scamming rich stupid men, still very much using that as a means to keep up her lifestyle. she’s also done a few modeling things, but it’s mostly just like catalog work or being the face of a trendy campaign bc she’s way too short for the runway

she also recently made an only fans account bc she was bored one night and was mostly planning on posting once as a joke but then she made a bunch of money / got a bunch of subscribers and was like oh word ? i can do that ! so she will post on there from time to time but she’s not like… super serious about it ya know ? also her music label is big mad at her for it bc they’re like bUt yOuR rEpUtAtIoN and she’s like yeah.. but my bank account ? also it’s no secret she used to be a stripper so she rly just.. doesn’t give a fuck ! 

so basically she’s jus here making money being pretty and pulling a long ass scam on… everyone

- ̗̀♡ — › personality / headcannons !

she’s a real two faced bitch… she has perfected the art of becoming whoever she thinks other people want her to be, quickly adapting her personality to get whatever she wants

she’s usually pretty friendly actually, really charming and outgoing and just trying to have a good time

she has a pretty short temper tho and holds grudges like you wouldn’t believe, so once you’re on her bad side… good luck lol she is so ruthless

she’s like… deeply, deeply selfish and will always put herself first, but she’s so manipulative that she can make people do things that they think are their idea, but it’s really just something she planted in their head so it’s not always obvious

also very spoiled and will throw a mf fit if she doesn’t get her way or u say no to her

always going out !! always doing the most !! she’s the type to show up randomly at ur door at 8pm on a tuesday with a bottle of tequila and make u party with her whether u like it or not

she’s a lot smarter than she lets on sometimes, like she knows people expect her to be stupid and ditzy and shallow and she’ll let them underestimate her when it’s beneficial

always looks perfectly put together— her nails are always meticulously manicured, usually w stiletto shaped acrylics, and you’ll literally never see her outside her house without makeup and a perfectly composed outfit. it’s also a rare occasion that she’s not wearing at least six inch heels, trying to make up for bein so mf short ( she’s 5’3 )

she talks A Lot but is really good at saying a lot of words without actually saying anything, like you can be best friends with her for months and then just be like “i don’t actually know a single thing about her”

always up to no good and sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong !! she’s always got some sort of scheme going or getting in to some kind of drama

v much a hoe and v much proud of it, will sleep w just about anyone especially if she can get something out of it

also a serial dater !! she’s always hoping in and out of relationships and being rumored to be with a dozen people at once

most definitely calls paparazzi on herself, especially when she’s around other famous ppl but will never admit it

compulsive liar, she will literally lie about the dumbest things like she doesn’t even need a reason to lie she jus.. does

she has a luxury two bedroom apartment that she lives alone in ( one room is kinda a guest room but also mostly just a giant closet ) in the towers and the gag is she doesn’t even know how much her rent is bc one of her random sugar daddies pays her rent.. her power tbh 

- ̗̀♡ — › wanted connections !

hookups / flings / one night stands / fwbs all that shit !!

exes on bad terms … gimme drama pls

enemies / ppl she’s stolen from maybe… she would definitely deny it and say they’re jus jealous of her or smth stupid but that could make the feud worse

party pals !! like i said she goes out a lot and always somehow manages to make new friends and drag them into her shenanigans

on again / off again exes… i want the Angst so bad..

shallow friendships / influencer friends like they play it up a lot for insta bc they both have a pretty big following but they dont really... like each other that much ?? like they definitely seem to be a lot closer than they really are

pr relationships this could be past or present !! in the same vein as the last one except they pretend to date ( or maybe just act like they’re gonna date but never actually do ?? like to fuel rumors ) 

unlikely friends !! like ppl who are nice and sweet and Pure, she could use a lil good energy in her life

situationship / flirtationship like they’re super flirty and maybe hook up a couple times but everyone assumes they’re dating or like gonna date but they’re jus vibing. bonus points if one or both of them actually has feelings but can’t tell if they’re just friends / casually hooking up or if it could turn into something more.. im a slut for some mutual pining !!

neighbors … mb they hate her for always being loud n throwing mini parties OR maybe they join in

mean girl rivalries !!

someone she’s taking advantage of / stealing from without them knowing .. oof

partner in crime !!!

one sided crushes or like someone she’s stringing along smh

sugar daddies mb 😇

someone to put her in her mf place JDKDKD like they call her out on her bs and are like “i see what ur doing bitch stay away from my friends” type thing

idk anything really !! gimme all the messy plots ok :~)

[captain-onyourleft]

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to get to know better. 

Thank uuu sweet @beinggaydoincrime !!!

Name: Kristýna (Kiki)

Gender: female

Star sign: aquarius (sun, virgo moon, libra rising :D)

Height: 5′6 (169cm) so like in the middle range where I get just close enough to get stuff from the higher shelves but also not tall enough to be sure it won’t fall down in a messy way so I have to get a chair anyway dfgjdfkgjn

Time: 15:48 and also past like 3hrs since I wanted to study for math exam that I have in a week but time blindness exists so I will have to deal with it later today

Birthday: January 24th

Favorite bands: BTS, Ateez..and then like I have variety of fav songs from different bands but really I can’t come up with the names rn

Favourite solo artists: Dua Lipa, Tame Impala, Calvin Harris, Bruno Mars, Miley Cyrus, Halsey, Billie Eilish, Rihana, Ariana Grande, Galantis, Bryce Vine,......and maaany others

Last movie: Kung-Fu Panda <3

Last show: I think it was The Mandalorian? (I think that was the last show I watched bc then I stopped bc I knew I would get distracted during my exam season if I did otherwise :D)

When did I create this blog: I think it was February 15th 2015 (to be closer to the cool and funny mcu text posts I kept on finding on insta)

What I post: like...a mix of everything, this blog is layers of my current interests, cracking up but also very serious and interesting text posts from the depth of the internet (bc compared to every other platform, the kinds of ideas exchanged here feel the most stimulating and don’t make me tired from ppl)

Last thing I googled: ramyeon - saw it on a gifset and wanted to see what kind of a korean food it was

Other blogs: I could’t keep track of them if I had a different blog for every fandom so I’m stuffing happily everything here :D

Do I get asks: from mutuals <33

Why I chose my url: I wanted something catchy/funny from mcu connected with Steve Rogers and catws was a very fav of mine (and still is), so there came up Sam Wilson’s line <3

Following: 1135.....ok I did not expect that, I haven’t checked that number in a while lol

Followers: 396 - my lovely audience, thank you for supporting the chaotic clown I am so far <3

Average hours of sleep: 7 - 9

Instruments: violin, I can remember bit of playing the flute, AND I am learning my fav songs from youtube tutorials on keyboard we have in the basement.

What I am wearing: literally the kinds of clothes I’ve been wearing the past 4months bc of online uni - sweatpants, t-shirt (one I dyed myself and the pattern turned out so well so I love it a lot - fun story, it was white and very cool w/jeans when I first bought it, but bc I was not educated about fast fashion enough back then, I bought it from Zara so its cool texture very quickly deteriorated. I tried sewing a little “it’s lit” on it and bc it was not symmetrical, it looked even worse xD two years later being stashed in the back of my drawer, I decided to dye it and now it’s alive and functioning at its best again, with a little “it’s lit” at the front! <3), and a HOODIE bc it’s cold here rn

Dream job(s): film production manager - or an actor, or an artist (but these two i have no idea how to do so that’s why it’s a dream job)

Dream Trip: Australia, New Zealand, West Coast, South Korea, Caribbean islands, really anywhere plspls I miss it so much TT

Favorite food: this is very specific but there is something sooo soothing abt sushi rice w/soy sauce. Also banana coconut chocolate chip cookies I’ve made like 6 times in these past 5 weeks.

Nationality: czech (this is a very small country and I feel amazed everytime someone even a tiny bit references it bc...I know we have the symbols such as beer, picturesque Prague center, but other than that..like I still feel we are very ordinary over here..also bc I’m becoming to feel more strongly abt how borders are again a social construct that aids nationalism and prevents healthy interactions and empathy towards other people, so that is why :D)

Favourite song: can’t choose one ever so the cURRENT one is Do I Do - Stevie Wonder

Last book I read: I think it was MDZS and I nEED to get back to it asap bc I stopped in the middle bc uni semester happened :’c

Top 3 fictional universes I'd like to live in: mcu, and can’t think of really fav two other ones so the ones that come to my mind rn: The Untamed & hp

i tag: @underaswift-sunrise @thosefinelines @victoriannarwhal @tootiredtoosadtooangry @betweencrossedblades @till-dawn-do-us-part @freshwoods @yeetlinglaozus @flythesail @space-ace13 @benniiie no pressure!!

[cyncity2000]

73 questions tag! tysm @goodlesson , can’t say i’ve ever had anything like this before but hey it’s not like I have anything better to do rn 😅 

answers under the cut! i tag @rene-royale @teenager-confused-tired @sawafilmtoday @onedoesnotsimplystormthebastille if you feel like it, but no pressure bc this is a LOT and took me a couple days to finish lol

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? um. could be worse, could be better?? so 5. 

describe yourself in a hashtag? no. twitter and all its shitty hashtags can go to hell.

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? weird question. nobody?? i wouldn’t want to??

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? not to be all dan smith on main but like...’come to this please’

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? uhhhh idk. i’m very open about most aspects of my personality i’d say

what’s your wake up ritual? stay in bed as long as possible and then YEET at maximum speed so i don’t waste the day

what’s your go to bed ritual? tell myself i should go to bed. pick up my phone instead. regret it in the morning.

what’s your favorite time of day? 2pm or 9-10pm 

your go to for having a good laugh? macdoesit or drawfee videos on youtube. truly the best.

dream country to visit? i wanna go back to england and france, also i’d love to visit literally anywhere i could

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? falling in love with my college roommate probably,, didn’t see THAT coming

heels or flats/sneakers? bitch i’m 5′10″ with size 12.5 feet. converse.

vintage or new? vintage looks cool. i am not cool. so new.

who do you want to write your obituary? idk man i don’t wanna think about that now???

style icon? if you knew me irl you’d know style is not a word in my vocabulary

what are three things you cannot live without? my cat, my friends/gf, and my cd collection 

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? i do not bake or cook, the real world is going to kill me immediately

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? i’d be too stressed to make food for people but i’d love to like. go OUT for dinner with...dodie, dallon weekes, and pj liguori. they’re all just cool people i follow and i wanna know what they’re LIKE. 

what’s your biggest fear in life? failure due to lack of confidence, motivation and direction in life :)))

window or aisle seat? i’d say window but i am long boi so aisle is usually nicer unless i trip someone by accident

what’s your current tv obsession? still supernatural, also brooklyn 99

favorite app? tumblr :D

secret talent? despite my crippling procrastination issues i’ve almost always been a straight-A student 🤷‍♀️

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? drove myself two hours to a concert in february, or maybe the time i did a really hard ropes course or went to the badlands?

how would you define yourself in three words? introverted, distracted, nerdy

favorite piece of clothing you own? maybe my waterparks sweatshirt bc i had a dream last night that i donated it and then went back to the store to buy it back lmao so subconsciously i must really like it

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? you gotta have that one pair of black jeans that goes with anything imo

a superpower you would want? flying. it’s the only recurring dream i’ve ever had and it’s my only answer ever

what’s inspiring you in life right now? all the people doing big or little things to help. the ones doing instagram lives or sending money or supplies to people in need or just giving me more faith in humanity

best piece of advice you’ve received? can’t remember any. why doesn’t anyone give me good advice

best advice you’d give your teenage self? do your laundry on time. don’t wear...whatever that was to school. just wash ur fuckin clothes. also don’t let it bother you that you’re single the whole time. you’ll get there.

a book everyone should read? they both die at the end by adam silvera. you WILL cry. but you will love it. 

what would you like to be remembered for? i have no idea. being a non-shitty person at least.

how do you define beauty? happiness.

what do you love most about your body? idk being tall is kinda nice

best way to take a rest/decompress? get a blanket. comfy clothes. my cat. put headphones on. put some music on or watch youtube.

favorite place to view art? on tumblr and instagram! i follow soo many wonderful artists it’s great

if your life was a song, what would the title be? Oh No (What Is She Doing Now?)

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? piano or guitar. i suck at both and if i could be good at ONE i’d be happy

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? been thinking about this tbh. somewhere on my arm definitely but idk where D:

dolphins or koalas? dolphins!!

what’s your spirit animal? a cat?

best gift you’ve ever received? for christmas my sister bought me a cute lil box meant for displaying concert tickets and it was the most thoughtful thing ever. also the AMAZING studio headphones i’m currently using that my mom got me like three years ago for christmas

best gift you’ve given? probably when i bought me and my best friend tickets to see the Sherlock S4 finale in a movie theater 

what’s your favorite board game? cards against humanity, one night ultimate werewolf/alien, settlers of catan

what’s your favorite color? porpleee 💜

least favorite color? hmm they’re all valid except for like. puke green.

diamond or pearls? neither lol

drugstore makeup or designer? neither 😜

blow-dry or air-dry? blow-dry but i never do bc it takes y e a r s

pilates or yoga? yoga!

coffee or tea? both but only hot tea or frozen coffee 

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? thanks to tumblr the word ‘defenestrate’ has entered my vocabulary and I do not regret it

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? either. chocolate is chocolate 🍫

stairs or elevators? tbh stairs, i’m just a lazy bitch

summer or winter? winter. cold > hot

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? i’d still get tired of it :( i need that variety!!

a dessert you don’t like? none. dessert is dessert and it is all valid if i can eat it

a skill you’re working on mastering? writing, working from home, playing the guitar

best thing to happen to you today? currently watching mike gross play old brobecks tunes :’) he also just saw my comment yay

worst thing to happen to you today? i had cheesecake for lunch. sounds good but it’s the only thing i’ve had today besides a piece of chocolate and my body is Not Happy

best compliment you’ve ever received? someone on fanfiction dot net once left me a comment saying they’d almost cried at my story and called me “a true writer” and it’s honestly one of the only thing that keeps me writing...i’m still mad they weren’t signed in so I’ll never be able to thank them for it.

favorite smell? lemon, cookies, fresh-cut grass

hugs or kisses? hugs!!

if you made a documentary, would it be about? somethin gay probably

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? honestly...probably “who the fuck is keith” fjadskljfd

lipstick or lipgloss? like peyton said chapstick is the only valid answer

sweet or savory? depends how i’m feelin, love both

girl crush? besides the obvious one (my girlfriend), honestly not many? there’s this one girl i follow on insta who’s big in the panic! fandom and jESUS SHE’S SO PRETTY. also the girl who plays kaia in supernatural is CUUUTE

how do you know you’re in love? has only happened to me once but for me...i already loved her platonically for months and then suddenly one day i was like oh. why am i getting the urge to kiss you rn. oh no.

a song you can listen to on repeat? anything by idkhow or bastille. never gets old.

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? not to copy peyton but i would love to know what goes on inside my cat’s head

what are you most excited for about this time in your life? next semester of college!! i got into a super-competitive dorm and i’m gonna have my own room and live with nine other people and gahh i’m just so excited to be chaotic with all my friends again and meet new people :’)

[szopenhauer]

Are you more positive or a debbie downer? Debbie Downer should be my name lol

What would you love to drink right now? I’m drinking water rn, second mug in a row, my belly is going to explode

Is that an alcoholic drink or not? it’s not this kind of water :P

Oh good. What would you love to eat right now? I’m not hungry...

How many meals do you eat a day? depends

Do you brush your tongue with your tooth brush? sometimes

What are you favorite type of jeans? I’d say skinny even tho I don’t wear jeans anymore ^^”

Do you eat your nails? wait what swallow? ewww I don’t even bite them :o 

Do you enjoy making or taking surveys? taking them more 

Name something that is blue that you like Sadness from Inside out

Name something pink that you like PYNK music video by Janelle Monae? XD

If you could have one more pet, what? meh

If you could sleep next to a tame wild animal what? woah 

Would you rather have an owl or a snake? both are cool

What would you name it? Bowl for owl and for snake either Ksysio or Wonsz żmieja?

Do you eat the ice in your drink? no

Have you ever been addicted to cigarettes? I had one cigarette in my whole life but I still keep a package in my room :x

Which do you use more? Facebook or Instagram? fb, I don’t care for insta 

Do you watch beauty videos on You Tube? nah

Do you like Star Wars? love

What kind of surveys do you like the most? interesting, not just YES or NO questions, I want to go deeper 

Have you ever dropped something down the garbage disposal on accident? omg luckily not 

What CD would you never buy for yourself? anything Justin Bieber for sure

Is sex a must in your life? absolutely not

Would you rather be cute and ugly or hot and stupid? cute and ugly? lmfao ok 

Are you evil in any way? everyone is, more or less

Would you rather be a clown or a garbage man? can’t decide :D

Would you rather be a rockstar or a librarian? librarian but rock star ain’t that bad of a choice ;)

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE? again? I just got this question on ask today and that really made me anxious

Did you and your mum ever have a big fight that caused you to move out? sigh... Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? yep but not to my room as I’m super ashamed of it, it’s not what I really want, it’s more like a storage room for mine and my mom’s things, I wish I could move and out and do what I want instead of cleaning this mess just to have it ruined days after, not that I have money now to fix things the way I imagine my bedroom to be someday :( Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better? yesterday was better but today I got a T-shirt so that was a good moment Do you have any plans for the upcoming weekend? hospital

Could you date someone very attractive, but who thought they were better than everyone else? blergh, r u kidding me?... Do you always feel like you’re making mistakes? constantly Does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? not because of me but someone somewhere definitely has that name on them for another reason How would you feel if you got the person you liked? I'm in a relationship Is there anyone who likes you? it seems If the last person you kissed saw you kissing someone else, would they be mad? of course  What’s the first thing you heard this morning? you mean a sound (doorbell) or words (I don’t remember)? If you fell pregnant to the last person you kissed, what would you think? not possible Are you young or old? young, at least according to my ID and being childish Are there always other fish in the sea? there are but maybe I don’t want them and/or they don’t want to be catched etc. What can your tongue do? pfft Do chickens have feelings? sorta Do you think the body is the most beautiful thing that was ever made? ...  So how are you feeling today? not good enough Where is your sister right now? don’t know nor care What do you smell like? it’s so hot, I smell like sweat and I can’t stand it but I can’t shower all day long What colour is your mum’s hair? grey  When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? last week Do you like fire? as an element of magic in fantasy movies  Does your mum vacuum early in the morning while you’re asleep? she’s noisy in different ways Does wearing glasses really make people look smart? that’s a lame stereotype Do your band-aids have cartoons on them? they’re useless but one time I bought Moomin ones because I’ve been walking through the store and they fallen right under my feet and there was nobody around nor the shelf/aisle that they could come from so it was weird and I love Moomins so I took them home (I paid) and they’re probably stored somewhere  Have you ever kissed someone you shouldn’t have? what do you mean? Who’s the funniest drunk person you know? my gf apparently - in a cute way - that’s surprising for a teetotalist like me  What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? my tee came! When was the last time you saw your father? he just left for work and I was waving to him through the window which is our tradition  What if your partner went through your cellphone? I have nothing to hide Has anyone ever been with you while you were throwing up? my parents and sister

Robert Downey Jr. — Bet you have a crush on him. he’s handsome but I’d prefer to be him instead of having a crush on sex I’m not attracted to

What would you do if you were to get stuck on a ski lift overnight? ... freeze? and pee myself Have you ever received an anonymous gift? one time when we were really poor that we couldn’t afford food someone left a package under our door, knocked and ran, bless this person whoever knew we have hard times :* What kind of laugh do you have? many kinds that happen randomly Will you have a Valentine next year? I have a bigger chance than any other year before  Macaroon or a cupcake? cupcake Did you kiss or hug anyone today? hug my mom and my dad too Are you currently waiting on someone to do something for you/to you? kinda Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? I’m not in an abusive relationship but I know those who are as it’s common and it’s really sad that ppl think only beating makes relationship toxic Are you planning on going anywhere with someone, some time today? I’ll stay home  Do you find your school to be loaded with hot guys or not so much? I remember E.W. once said that we have a lot of elves around because LOTR movie had very ugly ones as we did in high school, I tried to find that pic someone posted back in the day but I failed, it was from the council from what I remember 

Is there anyone you are currently trying to get out of trouble? Why? mostly I just keep my eye on my father and my mother all the time because of covid (and not only because of it) if that counts Are you plotting anything at the moment? another chapter of the book? Have you ever wanted your significant other to get rid of a friend? because they were evil to them, it wasn’t about ME If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? she moved out :3

Do you have a therapist? no longer Have you ever gotten a good grade in math class? yeah, in middle school I was getting awesome grades in math class What do you think of the last person you texted? we’re dating Have you ever gotten a bloody nose from snorting cocaine? I’ve never done cocaine wtf

Do you post pictures were you look good but your friends look bad? I ask them first  Are you friends with any of your exes? me and one of my exes are together Are you a whiskey person? I’m a no alcohol person

Has anyone ever made fun of your taste in music? tiny bit, wasn’t that bad

Have you ever overflown a bathtub? I have not Have you ever thrown food at a stranger in a movie theater? not in a movie theater Are you somewhat of a perfectionist? somewhat Do you like sour candy? by Lady Gaga  not eat Do you usually wear sunglasses when you’re driving? but I don’t drive Is there ever a time that you enjoy cold showers? brrrr no way Are you good at painting nails? am not but it doesn’t matter Are you good at filling silence in awkward situations? doubt it What word should you really probably remove from your vocabulary? kurwa Do you rip out the page if you make a mistake writing, or cross it out? cross it out, if I ripped the page then there would be nothing left  Do you use a full length mirror daily? we don’t own one Can you walk in heels, or do you feel awkward in them? I think they don’t match my style and they’re uncomfy in a long term Mac or PC? PC Will you tell someone if there’s something in their teeth? sorry but probably not Do you ever actually make your bed? when I have guests Do you make an effort to eat healthy? yup The last time you kissed someone, what color of shirt were they wearing? black, that’s easy What’s something you want to purchase next time you’re at the mall? food If you had to choose between a million dollars or to be able to change a regret? money because one regret won’t help me and even might make things worse Are you taller than your mom? almost 10 cm What would you do if your best friend told you they were moving today? my gf - break up  my dad - try to stop him or move out with him You’re locked in a room with the person you last kissed, problems? no problems  Do you have any ‘naughty’ photos on your phone? 0 Could you handle living with a male roommate? my dad, no one else What were you doing at 10:00 this morning? waking up Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? who said we aren’t texting? Do you think you’ll actually live a happy life with somebody? don’t feed my paranoia Connection between you and the last person who messaged you? love Where is your biological father right now? bus/job already Who else is in the room with you? I’m alone Water with ice or no ice? no ice  Are you wrapped in a blanket? too hot for that

Has anyone done anything nice for you today? I’m thankful for all those nice things people do for me - big or small The last time you hung out with your sibling(s), what did you do? took a walk

Do you usually bring or buy a lunch for school? bring

The last time you had sex, was it in their bed or yours? their

How old were you when you figured out you were definitely straight, or bi, or whatever? middle school was the beginning 

Do you fit in at work or in school? I was always an outcast

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, “Oh God, Ew.”? 99% of time

Have you ever cried at a real wedding? nope

Is there someone you need to forgive? *annoyed sound*

What’s your brother(s) / sister(s) names? personal

Suppose you saw your crush/bf/gf kissing another girl/guy, what would you do? why tho

What is your favorite color for bridesmaid dresses? whatever bridesmaid wanna wear besides white

Do you have a secret crush right now? it’s no secret

Do you know anyone who doesn’t want to have kids? me

Would you rather visit Tokyo or Paris? dunno

Do you think you would like living in New York or Chicago? Why or why not? too overcrowded/loud etc.

Name 3 celebrities who are the same height as you. Lady Gaga, Ellen Page, Reese Witherspoon

Are you happy with your height? I’d like to be taller, not too much tho

Do you have big or small hands? small

Have you been baptized?  I have been 

Have you ever been abused in any way? sadly

Do you like unicorns? they’re fine

Is there one book you have read over and over again because it’s so good? if so, which is it? I don’t reread books

Do you play games on your phone a lot? recently I became obsessed with LOVE ISLAND game 

Have you ever had to put out a kitchen fire? my mom took care of it but it wasn’t a big deal tbh

Have you ever been kidnapped? wut

Do you have anything glow in the dark in your room? stars

Do you wear a scarf, if so, what does it look like? not rn

Is there a video or computer game that you can get lost in for hours? mhm but not too long

Do you get breadsticks with your pizza? breadsticks and pizza? it’s like bread with bread - no thx

Did you ever have a waterbed? I hate those

What toy from your childhood do you miss? rubber toys?

Did you sleep in late today? yes

When was the last time you were disappointed? this day

Do you like listening to love songs? I like a variety of music which includes love songs

In your group of friends, are you the smart one, athletic one, etc.? funny mom friend... ok, fine, a dad because my puns are daddy jokes

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? no but they said bad things about me behind my back

Did you ever watch the show Full House? with my sister What was the last thing that scared you? how I feel physically Do the librarians at your library know you by name? they do

What ten people would you most likely bring on a roadtrip? 10 ppl?! shoot me...

Is there anything you’re really stressed out about right now? health issues

What was the last thing that made you cry? I’m about to cry...

What are the last three songs you listened to? Crystal Castles - Suffocation  frnkiero andthe cellabration - neverenders  Major Lazer - Be Together (Feat. Wild Belle)

[capricornsun-queen]

Deal With It!

Ethan Dolan X Reader

Summary: Ethan's packing to go on his road trip to Vegas with the Sister Squad without you. Lately, Ethan and Emma have been getting closer and you're not entirely comfortable with your boyfriend leaving you behind while he's living it up in Vegas with Emma. After months of holding in your true feelings for Emma, you decide to let him know how you feel.

Disclaimer: I don't hate Emma lol. She's a cool girl, and I'm not claiming that Emma is actually in love with Ethan. I just wanted to make it a little messy for the storyline. Who doesn't love a little drama yano??  

"Are you serious right now Ethan?" Ethan didn't make eye contact with you as he packed his suitcase for Vegas. "I don't know why you're being so difficult Y/N. It's really not that big of a deal." You rolled your eyes, he knew you hated when he called you difficult. "Not that big of a deal? You're literally going to be road tripping to Vegas without me, and you're going to be with her the whole time!! What sane girlfriend would be okay with that?" His eyes finally met yours. "I don't know, maybe a trusting and loving girlfriend, ever thought of that?" 

That hurt.

 "Ethan, don't act like I don't trust you, you know I do. But you hanging out overnight, getting a hotel and being so fucking far from me is not something I'm cool with, You know how that makes me feel. And don't pretend you don't understand, cause if the roles were reversed and it was me hanging out with my best "guy friend" laughing it up in Vegas, sharing hotel rooms while you were sitting in LA at home  doing nothing you'd be fucking pissed, hell... you lose your shit if you catch a guy staring at my ass, so don't even try it! I have every right to be pissed." Ethan sighed, stuffing clothes into his suitcase. "And stop fucking packing when I'm talking to you goddammit." Ethan knew all of the right buttons to push, and not giving you his full attention when you're venting to him was at the top of the list of things not to do. He stopped finally, his hazel eyes landing on your brown ones. "So what do you want me to do Y/N? Call em up and be like, sorry guys it's gonna be only Grayson going to Vegas cause my girlfriend is jealous of Emma and doesn't want me around her for that long even though I don't like Emma at all? No, I'm obviously not doing that, you're gonna have to get over it and deal with it." At this point you were furious. You felt like taking a shoe off and throwing at his stupid ass. 

"Deal with it? Ethan, you don't know what the fuck I deal with. Every time I open twitter all I see is everyone shipping you with her. Those dumb edits, I gotta see. I can't like or comment on any of your pics on Insta without seeing all the fucking comments about Emma. It's all about #ethma. It's fucking everywhere, just rubbed all in my fucking face. Meanwhile, no one even knows we're together. I'm fine with keeping us a secret, I know your fandom is batshit crazy, but why the fuck do I have to sit back and watch everyone fawn over you and Emma and not be upset. Don't tell me to fucking deal with it."  Tears streamed down your face and stung at your eyes, messing up your makeup. Your throat burned from yelling at the top of your lungs  "And you wanna know the worse part E?" You said, in a small whisper. "I see the way she looks at you. She has the same look in her eyes that I have when I look at you. She's in love with you Ethan. I don't know how you don't see it." 

Ethan's rude and snarky demeanor had completely changed as his face fell at your words. That was the first time you ever really expressed your opinion on the whole fandom shipping him and Emma situation. You had always played it cool, cause you didn't wanna come off as jealous. You knew it was possible for a guy and a girl to just be friends, but the closer Ethan and Emma got, the worse it made you feel, and today you reached your boiling point. Ethan made his way to you, wiping away the tears that rested at your cheeks before he wrapped his strong arms around you. "Babe, I had no idea it was getting to you like that. I'm so sorry." You sucked in a deep breath before exhaling through your nose. You felt a lot better getting everything off your chest. You knew it wasn't Ethan's fault. He had no control over his wild supporters. And you knew you couldn't force him to cut off Emma. "It's okay, I should've been more honest about it instead of bottling it up and letting it get to this point." You looked up at him, pecking his soft lips. You sighed before coming to your final decision. 

"You can go to Vegas Ethan." His eyebrows knit together at your sudden change of heart. "Are you sure I-" You cut him off with your finger to his lips. "Go to Vegas, have fun, film your videos. I do trust you to do the right thing. Now that my feelings are out in the open I'm not that upset anymore." Ethan nodded before kissing you on the forehead. You didn't want to be that girlfriend that holds her boyfriend back from living life just because of your insecurities. Ethan pulled back and smiled at you. "Thank you. I know this is tough for you. But you know I only have eyes for you, I don't know what Emma feels for me and I don't care. I love you, and you only." You smiled back at him. "I know." You leaned up for another kiss before smacking him on the butt. "Now go finish packing." Ethan kissed your temple one more time before he resumed stuffing his suitcase.

A/N: This was my first Dolan Twins fanfic so let me know how I did, but pls be nice💗💗

[chloeywoey]

hi everyone! i’m jay (24, est, she / her) and i’m so excited to be here! this is chloe, my social media obsessed darling who’s faker than a three dollar bill but a good person at heart. underneath the cut is an obnoxiously long intro. i’ll be around tonight to plot, and i’ve got a three day weekend so i’m super pumped to get some good connections going and get active on the dash :))) 

BASICS

full name: chloe ann lautsch age: twenty-one birthday & star sign: february 6th, aquarius birthplace: festus, missouri  sexuality: heterosexual gender identity & pronouns: cis female, she / her    housing: audax  occupation: social media influencer  + traits: progressive, business-savvy, independent, imaginative, go-getting, determined, kind-hearted, take-charge - traits: inauthentic, dishonest, ashamed of her past, perfectionist, performative, untruthful, closed-off  song: sampaguita by navvi

BACKGROUND

— chloe was born in missouri to a mother that was pretty much useless as a parent. her mother, deb, was a bar fly who would go home with almost any man who’d so much as buy her a drink. she inevitably ended up pregnant with chloe, but was woefully unprepared for motherhood. this led to chloe growing up without much structure, forced to be independent. the home was dysfunctional, as the only thing worse than deb’s parenting skills was her taste in men. chloe often found herself having to bandage up her mother’s wounds or with wounds of her own after drunken altercations.  — all things considered, chloe did well in school. though socially, she struggled. it was hard making friends when she couldn’t invite them over without fear they’d walk in and find her mother passed out on the couch. or when people made fun of her due to rumors about her mother. chloe never had much money or nice things in general. and though this made it harder to fit in, it also instilled a fiery work ethic in her. by sixteen she was working two jobs, trying to study for her algebra tests while manning a mcdonald’s drive through or babysitting local kids.  — with everything going on in her life, chloe barely had time to breathe, let alone eat or sleep. with exhaustion taking its toll and SATs coming up, she began buying adderall to help her get through long days and nights. later, her mother began dating a scummy dealer and chloe would steal from his stash, developing a cocaine habit. but chloe was always good at making herself and her life look like something it wasn’t. she mostly did it on social media, after finally saving up enough to buy an iphone.  — at age seventeen, chloe petitioned for early graduation. and with her teachers basically clamouring over themselves to write her letters of recommendation, she was set for college. however, she had no idea what she wanted to do. her instagram had developed a surprisingly decent following for a girl from bumfuck missouri, mostly due to her seemingly “perfect” life. she loved the internet. her instagram followers didn’t know that she lived in a trailer or that her mom was a falling-down drunk. unlike her small town where reputation preceded people, on the internet, people only knew what she wanted them to know. she could make her life be anything. she could reinvent herself. so she’d put together cute outfits, not letting her followers know everything she wore she scoured for at goodwill. or take a carefree selfie, everyone unaware that just an hour before she’d been sobbing due to being pushed over an end table by her mother’s boyfriend. or she’d post food pictures, not saying how she had to drive 45 minutes just to get to the local whole foods and spent her entire paycheck on five items. she was incredibly talented at polishing the turd that was her life and making herself seem like a cool “it-girl” that others would want to be.    — in two years, chloe capitalized on her love for social media by starting a YouTube channel and turning her instagram into an aesthetic wet dream. currently, she has 375k instagram followers, 120k YouTube subscribers and an ebook published. she’s reinvented herself as a vegan lifestyle blogger. her aesthetic is cute cafes and green juices, smoothie bowls, selfies, bikini shots, sponsored outfit posts...the usual cringe.  — she moved to new york at eighteen. and with the city at her disposal, it became easier to live the lifestyle she had to try so hard to fake back in rural missouri. her pages grew to what they are today during her stay in new york, after which she applied to lockwood at age nineteen to study social media marketing.   — however, all that glitters is not gold. chloe isn’t exactly honest with her followers. for example, her skinny body - which she attributes to yoga and veganism - is mostly due to her cocaine addiction which got worse while in new york. she rarely eats. she’s promoting a healthy lifestyle, posting self love quotes and publishing a vegan recipe ebook yet snorting cocaine and stress smoking cigarettes. she’s practically telling people “if you follow my diet, you can look like me”, meanwhile she doesn’t even follow her own diet. she often pretends to use products just to get ad revenue. or buys something, does something or goes somewhere just for a picture opportunity. like posing with a plate of pasta just to throw it away after. so even though she portrays herself as perfect, she’s far from it. 

PERSONALITY

— chloe is obsessed with portraying her life as perfection. she’s borderline neurotic about it. she barely sees herself as a person anymore, but instead as a brand...as something to be marketed and for public consumption. social media is her career and it’s what pulled her out of poverty. it’s her only source of income, and the fear of going back to working retail and struggling between multiple jobs is always one hanging over chloe’s head. she’s absolutely not a rich kid who had everything handed to her, though you’d never know it because she refuses to talk about her past, going so far as to say her parents are dead and lie about where she’s from.  — she’s definitely fraudulent, and there’s no excusing that. she perpetuates an unattainable perfect life to her followers, which is one of the biggest issues with social media. however, she doesn’t do it out of spite or a desire to deceive, but rather she almost feels as though if her life looks perfect, her real problems don’t exist.   — chloe is a go-getter and takes initiative in her endeavors. she’s very business savvy, though that doesn’t mean she’s always been. when first coming to new york and growing her brand, she did do some things that made her uncomfortable. she took advice from predatory people under the guise of caring and only through that, she learned to advocate for herself. it also put another nail in the coffin of her ability to trust others. she’s busy and has little time for bullshit. that coupled with her trust issues lead to most of her relationships not working out well. she also fears abandonment and opening up to people, as she’s ashamed of her past and her imperfections.  — if she had a reputation around campus, it’d probably be as little miss perfect, which is a persona that can be grating. she’s generally sweet, though can be blunt and bold. she’s definitely outspoken about things she believes in and can be found handing out flyers to get more vegan options in the dining hall or standing up to a misogynistic frat boy at a kegger. but she’s also performative, not feeling real unless people are watching. doing things to be perceived a certain way instead of just being authentic. 

CONNECTIONS

— a genuine friend. someone she can just be herself around.  — ex boyfriend(s). she tends to put herself and her career first. she also is obsessed with perfection and most likely trotted her boyfriend and her relationship out on her social media, wanting him to play along with her little games. most of her relationships, therefore, feel inauthentic. — boyfriend or bff for “clout” (i hate that word asdjkdjdl). basically a fake relationship or friendship just to get insta likes lol. fun spin on a fake dating plot. or a frenemies thing, like they don’t actually like each other but pretend to.  — enemies. i’m sure she gets on people’s nerves by pretending to be little miss “i do pilates and drink celery juice and shove veganism down everyone’s throats”.    — hookups and no strings attached things — her drug dealer, since she’s still very much addicted to cocaine   — anything and everything else! <3

[deeeelightfuldee]

surveys by taco-tuesdays

What are some foods from your childhood that you miss? to be entirely honest, the only thing that comes to mind that i miss are those creme savers that are pink and white. I would do unspeakable acts to get my paws on those again

Which app on your phone do you use the most? google docs, messages, snapchat, insta, games, spotify When was the last time you cried? Why? Today. Z lost an immediate family member to covid and it breaks my heart. I hate seeing him so hurt, I also feel strange that I’ve just been down this road and how differently it is handled between the two. sad sad sad.

Do you know of anyone who went into labor at the baby shower? not personally, no.

When’s the last time you did a hand game with someone? (ie: Mary Mack) pretty much every single time i’m around my nephews. 

How old is your oldest living relative? my grandma is nearing 90

What was the worst part about being a kid? for me there was a lot of verbal, mental, and physical abuse. 

What’s the best part about being an adult? probably the not needing to ask permission for anything lol. 

How many hours of sleep do you need in order to function successfully? when im not in a flare up then like 3-4 hours. when i’m in a flare up like i am now... i no joke could sleep 12-18 hours and feel tired still. 

What are two foods that are supposed to taste weird together, but you like? uhhhhhmmm im blank at the moment.

What is your favorite kind of dip? currently either em’s crack dip or the creamy jalapeno dip from lays.

Do you know anyone who was not born in a hospital, unexpectedly? oh goodness the amount of women who came into the store with their babies and would explain the crazy ways they were born... 

Does anyone you know have dual citizenship to live in multiple countries? yes

Do you still have a landline phone/phone number? i’m pretty sure the line still exists but we dont use it.

Do you know anyone who lives in the Southern Hemisphere? yes

What are some things from childhood that you still do today? nintendo 64

Name a fad that was popular when you were growing up, that you miss. so most of the fads have made their way back. 

Have you ever gotten to milk a cow or a goat? a cow

Have you ever taken a gymnastics class before? i’ve not.when i was little i really wanted to but we didn’t have that kinda money

What’s the worst part about being an adult? bills/money

What was the best part about being a kid? you’re not responsible for all the things.

–

Were you ever force-fed as a child? No.

What’s the worst thing you could hear before going under anesthesia? “oops”

What’s the last thing you rolled your eyes about? someone acting oblivious to conversations we have repeatedly had.

Should kidneys or other organs be able to be bought and sold? no.

When’s the last time you had to refrain from telling someone I told you so? probably a friend who was upset with something their parents did/didnt do and i explained what i imagined it was and it came out exactly as i said.

What’s one of your favorite riddles? none.

What is one of your most important rules when going on a date? have someone know when/where you are expected to be and make sure to check in with them.

Do you judge books by their covers? (actual books) sometimes yes

What unethical experiment would have the biggest positive impact on society? no.

What did you find while snooping, that you really wish you hadn’t? uhhhhhh oh after i found out about K and his .. whatever. i was a sobbing mess and went on his page and found a post a long time ago on a social media platform i’m not active on, where she posted something sexual on his page. it felt like 4.5 million stab wounds.

What’s something most people don’t worry about but probably should? crib safety

Do you use movie quotes often? occasionally but its usually just like a phrase.

What are some of your favorite idioms/sayings? this list is VERY long.

Will children today have better or worse lives than their parents, and why? I think as with anything it is a mixed bag of nuts. they should likely have parents who are more educated, less close-minded, more compassionate. but they have to battle social media, comparison pressure unlike what their parents knew, etc.

When was the last time you had a new lease on life? i think i will be soon. which is wild cuz it comes ages after a rough spel.

What’s the craziest conversation you’ve overheard? i remember a crazy conversation at panera AGES ago.

What are some goals that humanity is not focused enough on achieving? looooooooooooooooooooool. again, long list.

If you were capable of possessing people, what would you make them do? I don’t even want to start thinking about this.

Which charitable cause is most deserving of money? tbh that would take an awful lot of research to look into the charities. the only one i know right off the bat that i love is 4ocean

–

Do you live in the same hometown as where you were born? the hospital i was born at is located in a neighboring town. but I still am in the town that I came home from the hospital to

Did you dorm at college or commute from home? i always commuted because it was so much more affordable.

How long before you tell someone that enough is enough? usually its like 3-4 repeated mistakes before its not a mistake and is instead a pattern. by that point im sure ive effectively communicated that this is not acceptable behavior and then i move on.

Do you want to get married one day? Why or why not? I would love to. I think I will. 

Do you file your own taxes or have an accountant do it? gosh i hate taxes. I do my own but thats only because i own nothing.

How often do you get your haircut? my sister cut my hair this past summer. my hair is falling out real bad so I need to cut it but i’m just not ready

Do you prefer the thin blue and white masks, or decorative ones? tbh i’m just over it. its not enjoyable in any way shape or form for me because i can’t regulate my temperature lately and the second I put one on i start getting overheated. It wasn’t like that last year but this year is different.

Have you ever witnessed someone have a seizure before? so. many. times. I used to have to care for my brother every time he had them growing up. he had a severe seizure disorder.

Are you someone who puts a decent amount of emojis in their texts? i put an average amount but not excessive unless im joking

What was the last excuse you used when you didn’t want to hang out? i dont often turn down much

Do you own more solid colored socks or patterned socks? uhhhhhhh solid.

What is something that still excites you as though you were 5 years old? fireworks! swimming! dogs/cats! game time! dinner!

Tennis, Ping-Pong, or Badminton? uhhhhh ping pong i suppose.

Do you buy seasonal/limited edition treats for yourself? lol no.

Have you ever rode on the back of a shopping cart, or a Home Depot dolly? of course, who hasn’t?

Does everything you buy have to be organic? No. 

Do you support more small businesses or chain restaurants/stores? we eat most of our eating out at small local privately owned places. shopping, however, is different. 

Starbucks, Tim Horton’s, or Dunkin’ Donuts? dunkin. starbucks only has one drink ill have. never had hortons. dunkin has delicious tea and hot chocolate

Have you ever been crowned king or queen at a school dance? no, i was homeschooled.

Do you have conversations with your pets or do voices for them? allllllllllllllllll the time.

[apromisetoyou]

Rain

Dear friends,

Today's the last day. I was late yesterday because I was so focused on coming up with lyrics for the song Nic and I are working on. Since there's nobody helping today, I would have to lead today's session. It is a bit scary, especially in the presence of the teachers and parents. Not sure if the 3 students who are coming will make it better or worse haha.

Yesterday was a fulfilling day. I managed to finish the lyrics for BBLH and one verse for Nic. Did my own collage as well. Met up with GX, had dinner at jurong point before shopping for a gift for Shamim. We ended up buying a backpack for him. Then we took 182 and finally reached Tuas South avenue 4. It felt like travelling overseas. Saw Shamim in person for the first and last time, and understood his height too LOL (coz he didnt want to say his height when I texted him) The 3 of us had a good chat over supper and also managed to finish the origami clover together!!! I felt so proud <3

Shamim showed us where he stayed and I found myself thinking how different his place is. So far from civilisation, yet so peaceful. He started staying here since 5 years 4months ago, around the time when I ORDed. He was 26/7 then. Our lives are so different. It was a breezy cooling night and I found myself missing him the longer we stayed since I knew him right when I joined weTalk. Both guoxian and I were close to him. In fact, I think closer than other volunteers in weTalk.

As the night went on, and Guoxian and I made our way back, it started raining. I started to miss the interactions with Gwen and everyone in moon chat. I wished I could say something to show concern for them but what and why? In the end, I just used insta to scroll away my desire for connection. Mindless scrolling... I could have spent the time resting or just thinking about what to do for today's lesson. Instead, I just let myself behave following my own emotions and ended up sleeping late coz I indulged in mindless pleasure again. without showering somemore coz i was too tired and lazy Gwen, Nic, Stef, MM, Rx, I hope you all stay warm and lovely this rainy season and take care of yourself! I guess that's the only thing I wanted to say. May we all find our own peace and security, regardless of how the cold weather makes us feel, and the memories that we still hold. ((: I miss you all. Especially so with you Gwen, more than anyone else. Hold on to your kindness and beautiful smile! Regards,

Hong Kai (clear your mind for today!)

[justgowrite]

On Deleting the Instagram App

I deleted the Instagram app from my phone on the 14th of February this year, and it’s been a little over two months. No, despite the date, I didn’t delete it because I was single and bitter and wanted to avoid every sappy dedication post on the platform (although now writing this makes me think that had something to do with it). Rather, it became part of my sacrifice for this year’s Lenten season. Since Easter Sunday, I’ve given myself the leeway to check some notifications through my laptop, but haven’t reinstalled the app since. 

What actually happened was that I woke up bright and early that Wednesday morning, reached to switch off my phone alarm, and instead of opening the Instagram app and scrolling, made the spontaneous decision to delete it instead. 

I’d considered this moment multiple times, but each time prior had come with some sort of fear of missing out on something. What would I do if I wanted to share all the cool stuff I was doing? Where would I post photos of momentous occasions? What if I had a nice dinner with friends and wanted to post my dedication? I was also following several Instagram fitness gurus, and felt I’d miss out on workout routine inspiration if I didn’t get to check the app, and this would have adverse effects on my motivation to go to the gym. 

That morning, however, I felt nothing but relief. 

I started on Instagram as a means to share my love for photography with my friends, and eventually it became some sort of visual diary, documenting all the great times I had with friends, good food, wonderful travels. 

Then it became a means to keep connected, following back long-time friends and new acquaintances alike just so I could see their visual diaries, and keep up with the lives they were living while we were separate (however long that separation may be). Fantastic, I could now “catch up” with them through infinite scrolling and double-taps. 

Well, along came the insta-stories. I think that’s what really broke me. I found myself endlessly tapping through everyone’s stories, absorbing every detail of their lives. It was interesting to see what some people were up to from their perspective, certain events and places they’d go to; other stories were just utterly inane and mundane. 

I realised over time that these stories and posts were not only negatively affecting my psyche in a multitude of ways, they were also thoroughly irrelevant to my life. I was getting caught up in how everyone else was doing, and comparing myself. I would look wistfully at all their great adventures, accomplishments, love lives, friendships, workout attainments, and feel like all of mine fell short of this greatness. And despite this increasingly negative response to whatever activity I carried out on the app, I couldn’t stop scrolling. I wasted so much time poring over media that was irrelevant just to end up making myself feel worse. There was no utility to my actions. 

It had finally happened. Some form of social media finally got to me. 

I deleted the app and felt relief. I continue to feel relief. More than that, I’ve experienced a lot of personal growth and learnt a lot in the last two months.

1. The world, as it is, is already full of unavoidable stressors. In places where I do have control, I should do my utmost best to curate an experience that is beneficial to me. I didn’t know how to optimise my emotional involvement with Instagram at the time, so I decided to get rid of it altogether for the time-being until I figure out what is a healthier approach to the app for me. 

2. It’s a lot harder to maintain friendships and keep up with what’s going on in everyone’s lives when you’re not on the app. 

a. I found myself not caught up on “the latest” at social gatherings because I had not seen someone’s insta-story or posts. Two months ago, this would’ve made me feel terribly displaced. Today, however, I don’t feel like I’m “behind”, I made progress in other things in that time. And, no one really blames you, they’ll be more than happy to catch you up to speed, show you, recount. 

b. The friendships I have thus maintained outside of the app, through more conventional texting and deliberate direct sending of pictures or posts, have grown stronger and I feel much more connected as a result. I definitely don’t know of as many people, but I do know a few much better. The connection is deliberate, effort on both sides, and ultimately those are the relationships you’ll want to build and hold on to. 

All in all, I’m happy I made that decision to join the Instagram-less population. To those who are used to not being on that specific platform, my journey would seem quite “duh” and “lol”, and while I’ve been told these exact sentiments, I’m also glad to have received support and congratulations for making the move. I feel like an addict going through therapy, I suppose that could be one way to look at it. 

Sometimes I still want to share my photographs, particularly when they’re a result of a slightly more artistic endeavour with my camera. And, unfortunately, I definitely feel the lack of inspiration for putting together novel workout routines - there really are few replacements for a quick reference of a 15s video posted by some guru. 

Moving forward, I haven’t made any plans to reinstall the app. But if I do, I’m going to take a more active curatorial approach. I’d like to keep connected, but I’ll definitely have to put in measures to keep myself distant from things I feel could put me back on that downward spiral again. I’m also looking for other platforms that will help me address the gaps in the previous paragraph - hopefully platforms that have a more targeted community so there’s more value-adding relevant content concentrated in one place. 

[heartsoftruth]

Are we just not going to talk about the fact that Neymar tried to make his father look good by saying he didn't want him to move. 😂😂 nothing in the world will make me believe his dad didn't have a hand in all this oh ney u love ur friends and family way tooo much even tho i feel they at times take advantage of it i still admire u for this!❤❤

Anonymous said:Neymar is OBVIOUSLY protecting his dad as always because of all the things that have been said about him. Because that part of the message mentioning his dad was totally unnecessary but he did...Ney LOVES his dad well all know and always Jumps to defend him

Anonymous said:In his message, neymar specifically said that his father wanted him to remain in Barcelona, but it was Neymar himself that wanted to leave

True, I dont buy that bit either... But oh well I can't blame him for trying to defend his father who he loves dearly. I would do the same with mine. 

Anonymous said:Well because he left in a really bad note with the club (not the players tho I think pique might be 'angry') and besides his father is threatening to sue them for the loyalty bonus so can't blame them for not posting anything tbh. Sad but oh well he and his dad could have done this amicably from the start

Well they almost all did yesterday! :) Happy about that! 

Anonymous said:He's leaving alvaro too 😥

Yeah I also get that feeling? :(

Anonymous said:I'm lost and confused right now I don't even know who to follow. Or what blogs to follow, I know nothing about PSG so how do i keep updated on him up

Exactly. I’m also trying to find a few good ones. At least on Twitter. I mean enough Insta accounts, but I also need some real news haha. 

Anonymous said:Ash I just read something scary about Ligue 1 and now I am scared for Ney . Apparently the defenders are way more physical than la liga and injure players a looot. With the way Ney plays this will be a serious problem,...I rely hope this boy doesn't get injured or worse become a failure with this move. He is toooo good do this

I think it indeed is physical. I dont know the level of it tho... I guess we will find out... He will be ok. He is used to fouls on him. He jumps. 

Anonymous said:ofc he cares but lmao he still left because of moneyAnonymous said:😂😂😂 out of all the letters Neymar could have chosen he chose "M" 🤔😂

Ok no pun indented but these two asks compiled after each other 😂😂😂😂 Maybe the M was for something else? jisajfhjakdhfk Just joking. Just joking let me live xD 

READ MORE TAGGGGGGGG

Anonymous said:Barcelona have a practice match today u have any idea if its gonna be on television??

Dont think it was aired. Only a highlight now on the site. 

Anonymous said:Y'all in all this mess and drama spare a thought for valverde he must have aged 40years more by now😂 seriously tho he has a huuuuuge task ahead of him

HAHA poor Valverde... What a way to start a season by having your 2nd best player leave... 

Anonymous said:all Neys statements at this point, including his goodbye msg, are carefully planned, superficial PR statements for press with no real explanation and reason, no one leaves Barca for PSG for challenge! No one!! cuz its no challenge! just anticipated BS... and everyone is bawling over it.. I don't get it. I don't believe half of what he says... he said things like this before which were obviously not true...

Think it’s to be a leader, maybe a challenge and money too. I mean 600k per week I would go live in Parieee. Tho if I already had his money and would be playing with Leo I wouldnt. xD 

Anonymous said:hello ash i am one of your biggest fan s but you may hate me bec i am well real madrid super fan . but i am here to say that i really feel that NEy will achieve the glory with psg yesterday i was surprised that am so sad for his leaving bec for a madrid fan his leaving is good like what ramos said i hope that he can win the CL even if he faced us i will hope to win so all ppl can learn that if you follow your heart you can do it i hope you all support him GLORY GLORY NEYMAR love ya all

asgddsgjhasd my fan?? hahaha. Im just a tumblr account darling. Nothing special ;) 

Well RMA fan or not I think everyone wants to see the best players in one competition. It’s sad he left, but we will get over it. Or like it said maybe not and then we all move along. 

Anonymous said:dont worry he'll do well!glad u found me mature but no honestly i think at some point we all need to stop with he is doing a mistake he wants to be the king so he is leaving. Truth is we dont knw y&we'll never knw obviously the way this happened it hurt ppl but lets be honest what other way cud this have happened? At the end like i said earlier above all he is his own person who has every right to decide what he wants from his life we need to respect that&move on. Bitterness leads nowhere😁

Exactly. We will never know his true reason (publicly). If he make a mistake he will learn from that one too. I can understand that no one understands it now, but maybe if he wins that CL.... 

I mean for now people can sulk and I think many will for a while... Barca will look different without him, play different etc It will have a big effect on our season, but hopefully we will recover from him leaving. And he will do good too.

Anonymous said:Imagine if messi decides to end his career at Argentina and leaves how will u feel at his farewell??

sobbing hysterically. But I know Leo won't leave for another team in Europe. Or something has to drastically change within Barca to force him out or something. 

@malak15x1 said:I feel lil better that he talk Apologize to us and I wish he was more honest but I know it's more business then anything .. plus I'm still hurt every time I see him I feel sad even I can see his beautiful smile again I feel it's what he said about "new challenge" true but I still feel like my boyfriend broke up with me and I'm watching him smiling While I'm eating ice cream with His Shirt 🙄 Sorry but I need to talk to someone lol

Aaawhhh. You can come talk to me. You will hopefully feel better within a few days I’m sure. He looks happy and I mean for him personally that’s important. 

It’s not best for our team to see him leave, but he wanted to go or whatever his reason was he decided to leave. We just have to accept that now. 

Anonymous said:did you see Neymar photos with Lele

Yeah. 

Anonymous said:girl what is ney eye color am so confused

Hazel brown. 

Anonymous said:do you have a link for a full transcript of the press conference? i would like to see all of what both neymar and that sheikh said. i read that he implied that there is something like a release clause for neymar but as they are not used in france im confused. and i also would like to read it all in the order it was said so i can get my own impressions rather then just excerpts... thx

I think you have to google it or you can watch it back online. He indeed said something about a release clause which it weird bc in France they dont work with that...  aka shaaaady. 

Anonymous said:okay ASH here we go now you need to choose between neymar and kevin coz am gonna take the other one ;)

Ney. 

@msn-forever​ said:Thanks a lot for posting so much about neys new adventure! U know it's hard to see him in another shirt than Barca, but anyway I still support him and always will. I'm glad u do the same! Don't be sad if some people don't follow u anymore. U do the right thing to support ney, not psg! Keep doing what u Do!❤

Aaawhh thank you for your sweet message girlie!!! Means a lot to me

Anonymous said:A lot of people been talking about how they see Ney joining Madrid in two or three years, and I'm not gonna lie, I do too. Do you? I think that I (and those other people) can see it because we're very disappointed at the moment. We're just hurt so we're expecting the worst from him. But do you really think he could go to Madrid?

He would be death to me. I think Barca at least put a rule somewhere he can never join them. 

Anonymous said:U guys that's all rabiot can do Instagram fun on field he just disappears under pressure😝 i mean psg team was eliminated by lio alone in the past not to mention an extremely injured messi who was limping soo yeah that team has some mentality issues😝 i am certain dani&ney are bought in to take care of that just like zlatan was once bought. Even ronaldinho😂

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. you made me laugh way to hard haha. 

I hate that guy so much already! Fuckkkkkk. 

Anonymous said:even if they got back it gonna fail well lets admit they are not made FOR EACH OTHERS MOVE ON GUYS PLZZZZZ

PLEASEEEEEEEE. 

Anonymous said:I was going through golden shoe winner list leo is getting last season. There is ranking there right? I mean some leagues are considered superior over the others hence have more points??

Yeah, thats true! 

Anonymous said:Yeah, the seats near the corner flag. Now I'm just planning on going to Paris to see him play, but I don't know when I'll have the time/money. Going to Barcelona is always my priority.

Yeah I’m going to Paris too to see him. I was going to Barca this year to see him since I saw everyone else up close besides him... I really want to see him so Paris it is again... 

Anonymous said:Because at one point barca has kicked everyone's ass😂 i mean arsenal is making fun of us arsenal like seriously?!😂😂😂 though on a honest this whole transfer has been pretty embarrassing for the club hopefully we recover soon.HAHHAHA, Let them all sit TF down. We will survive. Barca is more than one player. leo is still with us. The best ever. Anonymous said:I'm the anon that just asked if you were a PSG fan now, thank god you're not! I thought you were going to leave us too since ney left, especially since the world seems to be against us at the moment :( glad to hear you'll still be supporting Barça!!

HAHAHHAHAAH. Nooooo!!! of course not!! Visca el Barca siempreeeeee!

Im a net fan not PSG hahaha. I’m trying to see how that will work our xD 

Anonymous said:fuck i cant see him in that jersey so comfortable

Well... I mean I wouldnt want to have seen him sad tbh. That way I would have thought his father really forced him. 

Anonymous said:if Bruna couldn't move to Barcelona for NEYMAR, what makes you think she can do it now that he's playing somewhere else ??? if she does, then its truly bc of the city and not for him. they need to move on... its better this wayzsdjgjhasgjshad And she said she will work very hard in the upcoming months or something. At least something about work hard/a lot. So it won't work. Anonymous said:How many times did Neymar actually say "um novo desafio" during the interviews ? omgggggg boyhahahahhaha. Anonymous said:what do you think of Di maria ?

Please dont come to Barca XD 

Anonymous said:Who's snapchat was that from?What?Anonymous said:i know why they hate barca bec barca is fucking their ass and winning all of them

Exaclty hhaha. 

[m-oonkitten]

1. Last drink? -sugar cookie tea 2. Last phone call? - tia  3. Last text message? -tia  4. Last song you listened to? - all she do - dizzy wright 5. Last purchase? - arizona and hot cheetos  6. Last time you laughed? - really laughed.. earlier when i was driving 7. Last time you cried? - this morning 

HAVE YOU EVER…

8. Gotten back together with someone you broke up with? - feels like thats happening this week.. i hope not. 9. Been cheated on? - no 10. Kissed someone and regretted it? - yes  11. Made out in the rain? -no  12. Been depressed? - yes all the time 13. Lost someone special? -yesterday 14. Thought about suicide? -yes 15. Been so drunk you threw up? yes

TOP THREE COLOR CHOICES…

16. pink 17. white 18. grey

RANDOMS..

19. Made a new friend since new years? - no 20. Fallen out of love? - yes 21. Laughed until you cried? -yes 22. Embarrassed yourself on a date? -yesss 23. Met someone who changed you? - yes  24. Found out which of your friends were real? -yes 25. Kissed any of your Facebook friends? -yes 26. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life? -most 27. How many kids do you want at this point? - 1 28. Ever been called a whore? - yes 29. Ever been stalked? - i think so 

30. Ever gotten into a fight? -yes  31. Do you have any pets? - cat and fish 32. Would you change your name if you could? - no i really like it  33. What did you do for your last birthday? the fair 34. What time did you wake up? 7am 35. Do you use an alarm? -always 36. What were you doing at midnight last night? -writing 37. Name something you CANNOT wait for? - peace of mind 38. Something you’re not looking forward to? - work on monday 39. Last time you spoke to your parents? - dad 30 mins ago, Mom 2012

40. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? - to stop over thinking  41. Name somebody you lost all respect for - people who take advantage of me and my kindness and good. 42. Are you listening to anything right now? - juke jam - chance the rapper 43. Last person to get on your nerves? - work people 44. Someone you wish you were still close to? - j

45. Most visited webpage? - netflix or insta  46. Favorite store? - nordstrom 47. What’s your real name? - meow 48. Nicknames?- meow 49. Relationship status? - single  50. Zodiac sign? - Leo 51. Male or female? - female 52. High school? -in a rich ass white town 53. College/University? - i want to go back

54. Eye color? - brown 55. Hair color? - brown 56. Tall or short? - 5’5" 57. Biggest flaw? - trusting too easily, too nice

58. Do you have a crush on anyone? - I'm trying not to 59. Any piercings? - septum 61. Right-handed or Left? - right

FIRST..

62. First broken bone? - ankle  63. First surgery? - wisdom teeth  64. First crush? - Brian  65. First best friend? - olivia  66. First sport you played? - softball 67. First vacation? -Canada 68. First funeral? -mom

YOUR FUTURE..

69. Do you want children? just one and if i like being a mother two more 70. Do you plan on getting married? - i think so, i have to meet someone extremely comparable with me. 71. Career? - kindergarden teacher. 72. Somewhere you plan on going before you die? - travel

YOUR DREAM GUY/GIRL..

73. Lips or eyes? -eyes, eye contact 74. Hugs or kisses? - hugs 75. Shorter or taller than you? taller  76. Younger or older?  older but not by much 77. Romantic or spontaneous?: romantic 78. Long or short hair?- short 79: Abs or nice arms? nice arms  80: Tanned or fair-skinned? - fair  81: Water sports or Land sports? -land sports  82: Hook-up or relationship? - relationship

HAVE YOU..

83. Kissed a stranger? - yes 84. Drank hard liquor? -yes 85. Stolen anything? - yeah 86. Had sex on a first date? -no 87. Broken someone’s heart? - i think so  88. Been arrested? -no 89. Felt threatened by a stranger? -yes 90. Turned someone down? -lol yes 91. Been led on? -yes 92. Fallen for a friend? -yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN..

93. Yourself? - working on it   94. Love at first sight? - yes 95. Heaven and hell? - heaven  96. Santa Clause? - yes 97. Kiss on a first date? -yes 98. Angels? -everywhere 99. God? - yes 

ANSWER…

100. Had more then 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time? -no  101. Did you sing today? -all the time 102. Done something illegal? - yes 103. Got caught in a lie? - yes 104. What were the results from the previous question?  lol  105. That moment you’d choose to relive? - the last time i saw my mom, that morning, get some better advice on how to survive and be more self reliable and independent  106. If you could go back to a different time in your life, when would it be? -2008, focus in school, not worry about other people.

107. Ever made out while watching a movie? - no i want to

108. Are you afraid of falling in love? -yes everyday

109. When was the last time you lied? - today, i lie to myself all the time. working on it.. lol 110. Most surprising change you’ve experienced? - becoming manager and realizing I'm powerful than i thought in a sense of being able to manage people and money and customers… 111. Last comment that hurt you? - fucking everything, but you can't take those words to heart.  112. Most encouraging person you know? - surprisingly j, he knows me better than anyone. 113. Are you usually late, early or right on time? -usally early, but sometimes right on time. 114. Do you attend church? -i used to lol 115. Ever felt alone? - all the time 116. Gave into peer pressure? - yes  117. Said no to someone trying to force you? - sometimes

Deep thoughts..

118. How is your relationship with your parents? - my mom was amazing, then she passed. dad nothing really there. were just buddies kind of. 

119. If you found out you had less than 6 months to live, would you tell people or wait? - wait. they don't need to know that pain. sudden is worse i agree… but knowing that you only have this time with someone over the course of 6 months is horrific.

120. Would you rather spend your life alone, or stuck in a loveless marriage? -alone  121. What’s your opinion on abortion?- if you need to you need to. 125. Would you give your life to save someone else? -yes 126. What kind of girl/guy is ideal? - 

Ouside:   tall, dark, handsome, muscular, long hair or no hair lol no in between. either i can pull it or i can't :p

Inside:    someone who sees life for how wonderful and beautiful it is, Someone who sees past the instagram, someone who sees a photo on the wall of pain and recognizes it as pain. Someone deep too. Someone who is free of worries. Someone grateful for being alive. Someone at peace for their own mind. Also smart, kind, honest, loyal, giving, grateful.

127. Would your answers have been different a year ago? -yess 128. Do you think these answers would change a year from now? - yes

129. Is there anyone you would want to read this? - yes j  130. Did you answer these question truthfully? - yes