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toxicanonymity · 2 years ago

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Empire Builders. Ben's Hardware Ch. 3

5.4k / Ben Solo x Rey / ch 1, ch 2

WARNINGS: I8+ mdni. Sexual tension, gaslighting, another woman tries/fails to seduce him, angst, dubcon via uninformed force connection, ben jacks off, unsafe P in V (in force connection). Hardware Store AU explained. Strategic planning humor. Excessive plot. Beta/Star wars consultant: @dark-scape A/N: Written in February 2023. This chapter has far more world building & background than necessary. Like I set up way too much stuff for a miniseries, but I wanted to answer some reader questions. And at least the world is constructed in my head for future use.

Ben opens his eyes and looks around his office. There's a leather couch, a chaise, an end table, a credenza stocked with high-end liquor. It's certainly too high-end for the general manager of a local hardware store, but Ben likes things a certain way, and so do the clientele. He zips up his pants. With Rey, he feels like he's doing nothing wrong. He has his own rules for himself about the force connection, although they continue to evolve.

The first time it happened, it took him by surprise. He felt a familiar tingle in his nose, the same faint tingle he gets when he uses the force. And there she was in her bed. He watched her for a few minutes, growing more and more aroused. Then he gave it a shot - he invited her. And there she was in his house. After that, all she had to do was want him and he could tune in at will.

He may tune into Rey's cute little thoughts about him sometimes, and especially her sexy little thoughts, but he only interacts when he's clearly invited. When she desperately wants him.

In a way, Rey is in control – or, that's what Ben tells himself. If Rey wants something from him sexually, he makes sure she either asks for it or takes it herself. He merely makes suggestions. He opens her eyes to the possibilities. Rey may not understand it, but Ben barely understands it himself. Certainly not well enough to explain it to her. It would be like trying to explain to someone why water is wet or how to breathe. It's not Ben's fault Rey doesn't know she's force sensitive. Most people don't know about the force at all, and they're better off that way.

Ben never had a chance at a normal life. His parents dedicated their lives and his to using their powers for good. He didn't understand why teachers asked what kids wanted to be when they grew up. Did anyone have a choice? Ben even went to the FBI academy at Quantico and started in the Behavioral Analysis Unit. It just . . . Didn't work out. Or, it didn't work out *the way his parents wanted*, to say the least.

His parents' names followed him everywhere. Everyone had this very specific idea of who he was and what he was about before they even met him. Everyone had expectations. His entire career was laid out for him. He'd probably be the director one day. Without the freedom to be his own person, he grew bitter and angsty. It was only once he interacted with the most dangerous criminals that Ben realized the choices he could make.

Ben feels like he's protecting Rey by not cluing her in. The only thing he feels a little guilty for is using a Jedi mind trick on her. It's a little gross in principle, but he was protecting her by making her forget what she saw between him and Hux. Ben works for dangerous people, and Rey is far too curious for her own good. If Rey were to find out the store is funneling supplies to a dangerous criminal organization, it would not only ruin the whole set-up, but her life would be at risk.

-----

Ben goes back downstairs to the store and passes Hux on the stairs, who's on his way up to the office. Hux asks, "Want me to run those numbers for tomorrow?"

Ben has no idea what Hux is talking about. He sighs, "What's tomorrow?"

Hux looks worried that Ben forgot. "Uh, the retreat, right? Corporate?" He uses finger quotes when he says corporate.

"Fuck me," Ben mutters under his breath. "Yeah. Thanks."

How could he have forgotten? He knows how - Rey is a total distraction. Empire Building's strategic planning retreat - what a joke, but Ben doesn't have a choice. Who plans a retreat a week before Christmas? An organization that considers itself your only family.

Ben wants to get out of it. "Hey, Hux - shouldn't one of us stay here to watch the store?"

"Yup, that's why I'm attending remotely. I'll be here in the office and go down to the store during the breakout sessions."

"Actually, I wouldn't mind staying. You deserve the break," Ben offers.

"Ben, no offense, but you know nothing about running a hardware store. That's why I'm here in the first place."

"It's only two days," Ben says. He's annoyed, but can't really dispute the assertion that he doesn't know what he's doing. He's a hobby carpenter, which used to give him a false sense of handiness, but he's eaten his fair share of humble pie since opening the store. If he had to run any other department besides Wood, he'd be in trouble.

Hux sighs. "Alright, I wasn't supposed to say anything, but you're being honored. You can't skip out."

Honored? That intrigues Ben. He tries not to seem too excited, though. "Whatever," he says. "Yeah, run the numbers, but run them by me before you share anything."

A buzz saw whirrs in the distance as Ben steps back onto the floor of the hardware store. He wants to learn to manage the store himself, he just doesn't want to learn from Hux. He walks by the key-making station and the staff member greets him. He thinks about shadowing the keymaker to learn something new, but he goes to Lumber instead. They're filling an order of custom-length 2"x4"s.

"Want a break? I've got it," Ben says. The woman stops the saw and offers Ben her protective glasses. He takes off his jacket, puts on his apron, and rolls up his sleeves. He pulls on a pair of canvas gloves. He can feel the woman checking out his ass as he bends over to get the first piece of lumbar lined up just right. "15 minute break," he tells her. "You don't have to clock out." She walks off then Ben fires up the saw and cuts the wood.

He's finishing up by the time she comes back. He gives her the goggles back.

Ben puts his jacket back on, collar popped, and goes out to the nursery and picks up the water dispenser. He waters the tropical plant section and inhales the fresh smell of lush foliage mingling in the air with the sawdust from carpentry. He thinks about how much he enjoys the hardware store. He would love to just manage the hardware store one day and have that be his whole job. If only things were that simple.

----

The next morning, Ben drives his bulletproof Range Rover with dark tinted windows to the retreat, which is two hours away. He dresses in all black and lays a charcoal blazer in the passenger seat. He pulls up to the hotel at the last possible minute. He opens the glove box and puts his old beat up Glock in the back of his pants. He doesn't carry it all the time. It's truly gnarly, but it works, and it's a family heirloom. It was returned to him from the District Attorney's office after his grandfather died. He puts on his blazer and makes sure the notched Mandarin collar is standing - he doesn’t like his neck exposed. Then, he tosses his keys to the valet

There are two huge guards at the door dressed darkly in plain clothes. Ben knows one of them and gives him knuckles.

There are only a couple dozen people attending but they've branded it like it's some huge event. Ben would prefer to sit with his back to the wall in any given room, but there's a seat reserved for him in the second row. The retreat kicks off with a speech from the Emperor, which is a big deal. No one knows his real name and Ben has never heard of him appearing in public before. He hangs on every word at first, but it's a pretty general speech about the importance of loyalty and how prosperous they are together. Yawn. Then he talks about adversity.

He continues, "As we all know, we had some challenges last year. Now, I don't have anything against journalists - heck, my granddaughter is one - but they tend to stick their noses in places they shouldn't." The crowd murmurs. Ben starts listening closer again

"And it's not like the old days where we can take care of one problem and it just goes away. They've gotten smart. They've gotten digital. Setting up dead man switches and whatnot. Anyway, after the Post article last year, and the boycotts, each of our biggest suppliers suddenly grew a conscience at the same time. Construction came to a total standstill. For two months we built nothing." He lets that linger in silence for a moment, then continues, "Until one of you had an idea." His eyes twinkle as he looks at Ben. A few people quietly cheer. Someone behind Ben pats him on the back and Ben turns his head a little and smiles on acknowledgement but keeps his focus straight ahead.

In truth, Ben saw the Post article coming. The way they were handling their business it felt inevitable. But it would have been a big risk for Ben to try to change how they were doing things. Instead, he started anticipating the fallout and plotting to save the day.

"Ben's Hardware, ladies and gentlemen." He gestures to Ben. "We're back in business." He makes Ben come up to the front and presents him with a ruby signet pinky ring. When he sits back down, Ben sees Hux sends an applause on the Zoom screen behind the speaker podium. Ben's tries not to roll his eyes.

"That was real strategic thinking, and it got us out of a real jam. I want all of you to start thinking strategically. That's why I've brought in a consultant this weekend." He gestures to his right and an attractive young woman stands up. "This is Paige. She's going to get all of you thinking like Ben." She smiles at Ben and he swallows.

Ben wonders how much Paige knows and what's in store for her. This is sloppy. He manages a small smile.

----

The first session is a SWOT analysis of Empire Builders. Paige talks through their Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. It turns into somewhat of a post mortem of what led to the Post article and boycotts.

Strengths: Reputation, resources.

Weaknesses: Disloyalty, competing priorities

Opportunities: Services. Diversify disposal.

Threats: Attention. Regulation.

This is a load of crap, and Ben is 100% sure Hux is just eating it up, scribbling notes and making stupid plans. He rolls his eyes at the thought. This is worse than a load of crap, he realizes. Nothing good could possibly come from openly strategizing about how to expand this criminal enterprise.

Ben could have walked right into a different crime family and taken his grandfather's seat, but that would have been the easy road, and he wouldn't have been met with true respect. He knew he was capable of sitting at any table he wanted, and chose a different family. A rival family. He's climbing from the ground up by merit. He whacks off a bad egg here and there, but he builds his reputation with brains more than brawn. He's bringing the family into the 21st century.

As part of his plan to make himself indispensable, Ben shared one of his many good ideas - the hardware store. He shared just enough to climb one more rung on the ladder, and now they want all these goons bumbling around trying to bring something fresh to the table? He would hate for this family to implode before he has a chance to destroy it himself and build his own dynasty.

In the SWOT session, they discuss some of the points together, but it's awkward because no one knows how much Paige knows about the organization or when she's supposed to get whacked. They keep trying to be vague, but they're really conspicuous about it. Ben tries to peer into Paige's inner world to find out how much she knows, but he realizes he can't see anything at all, much less read her thoughts. He wants to test a hypothesis that the sexual attraction and tension with Rey is what's creating their connection.

-----

They take a break and Ben takes off his blazer. He leaves it on his seat and goes to the bathroom. He looks in the mirror as he washes his huge hands, then he unbuttons two buttons and rolls up his sleeves. He feels kind of slutty doing this, but in a hot way, if he's honest. He runs his long fingers through his dark hair and swallows. When he sees his Adam's apple in the reflection he remembers his most powerful weapon. He should've made an acceptance speech.

Before they get back from break, Ben approaches Paige with a twinkle in his eye. He talks about nothing. He uses the lingo. He gesticulates with his massive hands and shifts his weight flirtatiously as they talk. He flashes his charming smile and compliments her on the dumb SWOT analysis. He tries to keep talking. He crosses his arms and watches her eyes drift to his forearms. When it's time to re-start the session, he heads back to his seat and glances back. She's definitely checking out his ass.

"What do we mean by 'diversify disposal'," someone asks, and Paige doesn't know how to answer it. So she doesn't know everything after all.

One of the big wigs chimes in. "You'll recall the Post article was primarily the result of a specific disposal that was discovered at a construction site. Which led them to look at other construction sites, pulling permits, and employment records, and so on and so forth. All that fuss started with one sloppy disposal."

The man still looks confused. The big wig makes a subtle gun gesture out of view of Paige.

"OH, disposal," the audience member realizes. "Okay and diversify that how?"

"Well primarily by considering properties that don't trace directly back to Empire Builders. And techniques that lessen the residue over time."

"Like lye?" The man asks. Paige swallows and doesn't know what to say.

Ben interrupts and saves her. "Have we thought about *reducing* disposal?" He asks the big wig.

The big wig laughs. "It's a core part of our business model."

"Reducing unnecessary disposal? That's when things get sloppy, right?"

"Go on."

"Like say you hire a person for one job, like a conference, but they have a diverse business skill set. That person could potentially be reassigned to, say, logistics and supply chain management?"

"Instead of. . ." The big wig is thinking. "Right. Good question Ben. Let's take that offline."

-----

After the session ends for the day, Ben goes to the hotel bar. He wants to check in on the store but needs a drink before he can even think about talking to Hux. Mainly he's curious if Rey came by. He knows she wants to. Ben orders a whiskey on the rocks and thinks about Rey. He feels like she has all the control. He only gets to see her when she shows up to the store. He thinks about the way she blushes under her freckles and her dimples and her perky tits and how bad she wants him. He's horny.

As Ben examines his drink in his large hand, a sultry voice startles him.

"Ben's hardware, huh?" It's Paige. She slides her small hand onto his shoulder and puts her other hand on the back of the stool next to him. "Anyone sitting here?" He must have really worked his magic earlier.

"No, please." He welcomes her to sit. His sleeves are still rolled up.

She orders him another drink. "Another one for him. And one for me."

Paige reaches for Ben's large hand and inspects the ruby signet ring on his pinky. She wants to try it on. It's too big for even her thumb. One of the big wigs watches casually from the end of the bar.

Paige asks too many questions, and Ben doesn't give her any answers. He doesn't want to put her in more danger than she's already in. Also, part of him wonders if she's a trap. Maybe they've realized what he's known all along - that he's the future of this empire - they need to know he can be trusted and won't get distracted by competing loyalties. Even if it's not a trap, Paige isn't Rey, so that works against her.

At the bar, Paige is all over him. It turns him on. He's not that interested in her, but he's only human. She finishes her drink and slips Ben a key to her room. She scribbles her room number on a napkin with lipstick. He wants to leave the key and the napkin on the bar, but he wouldn't want a worse guy to bust into her room in the middle of the night, so he takes them with him.

Ben looks at his phone and has a missed call from Hux. He decides not to call him back, lest Hux think Ben answers to him. Plus, Ben is exhausted from being "on" all day. He's a solo creature and having to pretend to enjoy "the family" really takes it out of him. Especially with all eyes on him as an honoree. He felt like he couldn't let his guard down for even a moment.

-----

Ben retires to his hotel room alone he washes his face and hands and grabs the hotel lotion. He props up two pillows and lies down on top of the bed without unmaking it. He crosses his large feet and studies the pattern of his argyle socks. He really prefers stripes these days. He should overhaul his sock drawer. He reads the label on the lotion, then moisturizes his enormous hands. He holds the napkin in his hand and runs his thumb over the room number, which is just a few rooms away.

He recalls the way Paige looked at him and gets hard. He starts to think about whether he should just do it. It's not like he and Rey are dating - they haven't even gone out once. On the other hand, hooking up with Paige wouldn't do anything but physically get him off, and he still wouldn't be satisfied. He runs his long fingers over the mark on his neck. There is only one person who can satisfy him now. His eyelids are heavy.

Ben palms himself through his pants and debates whether he should try to force connect with Rey. If he does try to connect with her and she isn't already thinking about him, it could startle her or make her question everything. He decides to take care of himself instead.

-----***------

Ben takes takes off his slacks and hangs them on the back of a chair and lies back down. He leaves his shirt on and pulls his boxer briefs down. He closes his eyes. He wraps his hand around his hard shaft and despite how big his cock is, it almost looks normal sized in his massive hand. He's proportional.

He's almost too tired to do it, but his arousal wins over. He spits in his hand. He thinks about Rey sitting in his lap and begins to slowly move the skin on his shaft, lazily and in short, firm strokes, just getting warmed up. He thinks about her furrowed brow and her soft little sighs and how her warmth felt against his cock.

Before he can get far, his nose begins to tingle. Ben yanks up his boxer briefs and palms himself through them as he closes his eyes to let it happen.

But before he can see anything, Ben hears a moan echo from the bathroom of his hotel room. He lies there frozen, wondering if his ears deceive him. Then, he hears splashing and squeaking from the bathtub. He jolts up and grabs his Glock from the nightstand. He holds it in both hands, his arms straight, and slowly approaches the bathroom. He turns the door knob with one hand and pushes it open before resuming his stance. Steam billows out of the door and the mirror is fogged up.

The door creeps open the rest of the way on its own, and Rey is in a robe. Thank God she's facing away from him. He lowers his gun and quietly rushes back to the bed, taking huge strides. He puts the Glock in the nightstand but doesn't close it all the way.

The sink faucet turns on, then off. Rey emerges from the bathroom and looks around curiously. She doesn't look surprised to see him. He hasn't done it on purpose, but the collateral gaslighting might be driving her mad. Surely she hasn't figured out how this works.

Ben is lying on the bed in his boxer briefs and button up shirt. He's still hard. Her eyes meet his. "Ben," she says. It's the first time she's said his name to him and it's the sweetest sound. Her eyes scan his body, resting on his underwear longer than anywhere else. She looks away shyly then he sees her remind herself it's not real. She gains confidence and smiles demurely at him. "Where have you been?" she asks. "Where are we now?" She crosses the room slowly.

Ben ignores the questions. "Well, you found me," he says. Her eyes rest between his legs again. He's emboldened by her continued belief that this isn't real. He adds, "And you found me in quite a state." He strokes his hard length from outside his boxer briefs. "Is this what you were looking for?" He looks down to his lap then meets her eyes again as he strokes himself slowly. He knows it's what she wants. He still wants her to say it.

Her hair is damp. Her skin is rosy. He's disappointed to have missed her bath, but glad she's here now. Rey approaches the nightstand, then stands facing the bed, not far from him. Ben wonders how much she can see in this room. Can she see the napkin? The Glock in the nightstand? If she can, she ignores them. She lets her robe fall open "Maybe so," she says. That's close enough to a yes for him.

Ben sits up in the bed and pivots to face her. He sits on the edge of the bed and takes both her hands in his. He spreads his knees. She stands in between his legs, close to the bed. They search each other's eyes. He can feel all her thoughts even stronger now. She wants him bad. He scoots closer to the edge of the bed, barely on it. His large feet are firmly planted on the floor.

She wants his body against hers. He brings his hands around her waist to the small of her back. Her figure is striking and her skin is so soft and smooth. He gently nudges her closer. His knees are spread wide with plenty of room in between. She comes as close as she can and his clothed hardness meets her bare skin.

She starts unbuttoning his shirt. She looks even prettier with no makeup. He strokes her damp hair, then cradles her pretty little head in both of his massive hands and brings her face to his. Their eyes close. Her lips part. Their mouths meet softly, then the kiss grows hungrier. She wants Ben inside her. He slips his tongue into her mouth and she meets it eagerly. She finishes unbuttoning him as they make out.

Ben moves his hands down each side of her neck, then to her collar bone. He slips the tips of his fingers under each side of the robe and slides his hands gently to her shoulders. She shrugs off the robe. His hands slide from her shoulders down to her breasts and cup them gently. He takes one nipple into his mouth and moves his other hand around her back, down her spine as he tongues then sucks her breast.

Her skin is supple and her ass is round. He grabs a cheek in his large hand and pulls her into him, then his hand slides down her ass crack between her legs. His middle finger reaches her pussy and she’s so fucking wet. He releases her breast from his mouth and grabs her ass with both hands. He stands up and lifts her off the ground in one swift motion. Her legs wrap around him. He turns around and lays her down on the bed and their faces meet again. His nose brushes hers as their lips come together. As he reads her mind, he’s struck by the intensity of her passion for his nose. He’s so fucking hard.

Her fingers curl under his undershirt. He takes it off and she marvels at his physique - his sharp shoulders, his broad chest. Her hands trace his hard pecs, then his abs, and his happy trail. Then she slides her hand inside his boxer briefs and seizes his huge, swollen cock. Her hand feels so good. He thrusts into her and her other hand grabs at the hem of his briefs. He takes them off. She wants him inside her so bad, but he wants her to say it.

He reaches a large hand between them to finger her while she strokes him. As his long digits slide against her slick folds, he says, “You can have whatever you want.” He knows there’s only one thing on her mind and it’s his cock.

“I want all of you,” she says. She releases his cock and it smacks against her hip bone, then he removes his hand from between them and grinds his hips into her. His hard cock slides along her folds and her head falls back. Her neck is so delicate. It’s hard to resist putting his hands around it but he doesn’t want to scare her.

“Take it,” Ben snaps hastily. “Take what you want.” She opens her eyes wide and grabs his cock again. She swipes a bead of pre-cum around the head, strokes him for a second, then rubs his cock against her folds again. She wraps her legs loosely around his back.

Ben kisses her deeply on the lips and grinds into her hard. He can feel her wanting something beyond his body, beyond this room. “I want it to be real,” Rey says.

“This isn’t real?” He asks with a twinge of guilt. It’s an inopportune moment for this conversation, in his opinion. He just wants to be inside her.

“I want you in real life,” Rey says.

He slides off her and rolls onto his back, breathing heavily. He cradles his massive, aching erection in one hand, loosely stroking it. “I do too,” he says.

“How do I know?” she asks. She rolls over on her side to face him and hooks a leg over his closest leg. Her face is quizzical, but he can still see the want in her eyes. She traces his pecs and her nipple grazes his bicep.

“You just know.” He laughs. “I know you know.” Rey climbs up and straddles his big thighs, hovering her lower abdomen near his cock as she searches his face. He'd say almost anything to fuck her right now, but he settles on something reasonable. “Give me your number or something,” he says. "then I'll make sure you know it. I promise."

She relaxes. "Okay." She seems to view this experience as some way of accessing her intuition or some kind of mystical guidance on how to get with him in real life. She feels like she has her next step now. She'll give him her number.

“Can we still have fun meanwhile?” He asks and his hips lift up under her.

She smiles. The only thing on her mind is his cock now. She grabs it again and scoots forward more, her warmth hovering over his aching balls. He sits up and kisses her passionately as she grinds into him.

He nuzzles his nose against hers. “Whatever you want,” he says. Her hips roll into him more intensely until she rolls off of him and back onto the bed, lying face up, pulling him onto her. He brings his whole body down into hers and she grabs his cock and nestles the tip at her entrance. Ben kisses her deeply as he plunges into her. She moans as the thick head parts her seam.

He gives her a few seconds, then thrusts again, further into her. She digs her fingers into his back. Her cunt is so hot and tight. He feels like he could come at any second already. “More,” she says.

He pulls out an inch or two then plunges all the way in and she moans. They sloppily kiss as he thrusts into her again and again. They sweat and their hot bodies slide against each other. He knows he’s hitting that special spot deep inside her. He knows she’s close. And so is he, his pleasure is building rapidly.

As Ben pounds into her, Rey begins to whine and her face contorts. “Yes, yes, Ben." He feels a pang of pleasure in his balls at the sound of his name in her mouth. She says it again and he kisses her desperately before his name is gone from her lips, like he's catching it in his own mouth. She comes and her walls clench around him, and he starts to come, too. He slowly thrusts into her as his cock erupts. When his balls are empty, he pries his lips away from hers to look at her. His hair falls into her face and she tucks it behind his ear.

There’s a knock at the door. For a moment Ben hopes Rey can't hear it, but her face screws up. Ben ignores it and kisses Rey's neck sweetly, trying to make her forget about it.

Another knock. "Ben, I know you're in there," Paige says from the door. Rey's eyes water.

Ben wants to explain. ,"No, it's not - hold on. One second," Ben whispers to Rey. He gets up and starts toward the door. When he glances back, Rey is looking at the napkin and key on the nightstand. Before Ben can answer the door, Paige says "Whatever, you've got my key."

Ben turns around to come back to bed, but Rey is gone. He stews over it for a while, but there's nothing he can do.

The second day of the conference, Paige starts off cold toward Ben, but she tries to cozy up to him more during the breaks. He tries to play nice but he's upset about the night before. There's no way she could have known, but it still bothers him. He replays Rey's thoughts in his head and he's fairly sure her infatuation and attachment will win out over apprehension.

Paige's presentation talks about waste and efficiency. One of the types of waste is underutilized resources. Ben doesn't want to say it in front of Paige, but he feels like his capabilities are underutilized. There are so many times they forgo mind tricks in favor of straight-up offing someone. It would be cleaner to just to make them forget.

Of course, a mind trick doesn't always work. He can't imagine it would work for someone like Mitaka who worked full time for them. What memories would the person be left with? Plus, there are different rules for snitches. But as far as Ben knows, a mind trick would've worked for the disposal that ultimately led to the Post article. Ben keeps his mouth shut, though. He doesn't want to draw more attention to himself by bringing up his capabilities. Plus, he knows better than anyone that sometimes your temper just gets the best of you.

After the session, during the social hour, Ben gets invited on a hunting trip. He says he should really get back to the store. A big wig slaps him on the back and asks if he can tour the store the day after tomorrow. Ben agrees.

Ben really can't wait to get back to the store.

Thank you for reading!

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the-lazy-pig-author · 3 months ago

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Scene from Chapter 2 when Emperor Vader brings Obi-Wan Kenobi back to their apartment to get settled into his new life as the Consort of the Galaxy's new rulers whether he likes it or not.

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space-blue · 5 months ago

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Damn, blender and that fortnite addon really lets you do whatever bullshit you fancy!

#ahsoka #star wars #inappropriate use of the force

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lostin-thestorm · 2 years ago

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Help Find a Reylo Fic

I know this is a long shot, but I need help finding a fic I read a couple years ago. I can’t remember if it was on AO3 or Fanfiction:

Rey and her secret son[(toddler) Kylo is the father] were hiding from Kyle Ren, but somehow he finds them and forces them to live on the Starkiller Base with him. Kylo takes Rey’s son away form her during the day to train to be a sith against her wishes.

I know there is a fic called “Fulcrum” on fanfiction that is similar but I don’t think that one is it.

Also it has some real good raunchy smut in it where Kylo uses the force inappropriately and they have universe shattering good sex.

Can’t remember which movie it was based on. Anyone have any leads?

#kylo #kylo ren #rey #star wars #inappropriate use of the force #reylo

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queenofcarrots · 2 years ago

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After they defeat Palpatine and escape from Exegol together, Rey and Ben make their way to Dagobah. When Rey leaves Ben there to check in with the Resistance, something goes terribly wrong. Will their love survive?

✨Death and Reincarnation 💖Love conquers all 🔥Ben's a planet but they find a way

A Canon-Divergent Swamp Thing AU in which Ben becomes Dagobah and then he and Rey have sex aka PLANETLO

#reylo #rffa writers #canon divergent au #swamp thing #ben solo dies #but it's temporary #reincarnation #as a planet #dagobah #inappropriate use of the force #bittersweet #crack treated seriously #post-TROS #not a fix-it fic

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xwisegirlx · 4 months ago

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(via "Inappropriate Use Of The Force" Essential T-Shirt for Sale by xWiseGirl)

#findyourthing #redbubble #fandom #fic #star wars fanfiction #fanfiction #inappropriate use of the force #fic tag #star wars fic #ao3 tags

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dystopicjumpsuit · 1 year ago

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Welp, there goes my solitary braincell.

Hey hey! Love your writing!

I wanted to ask for some nsfw headcannons for Wolffe, Cody, and Rex. Where their F!Jedi reader keeps force projecting different sex scenes of them together during a briefing; with the boys trying to keep it together during the briefing and their reactions/what they say to her after.

I also just wanted to say, that you are one my favorite TCW/TBB writers on Tumblr!

Distractions - NSFW Headcanons with Cody, Wolffe, and Rex

Summary: You decide to spice up a pre-mission briefing meeting by projecting naughty visions to your clone, knowing you’ll pay for it later.

Warnings: NSFW, 18+. Absolute filth. Smut. No real plot. Dom vibes from Wolffe and Cody, slightly rough handling but everything consensual. Fingering, oral, PiV sex. Reader a Jedi, not described in detail.

Pairings: Cody x Fem!JediReader, Wolffe x Fem!JediReader, Rex x Fem!JediReader

WC: Around 2,000 total (bullet points)

A/N: Let me tell you, the squeal I squealed when I got this ask! Thank you for this filthy request, anon! And thank you for your even kinder comment, I was having some self-doubt in my writing lately and I’m glad that you are enjoying my silly little stories, it means a lot to me and I love writing for y’all!

This is pure smutty goodness below the cut, I hope it’s what you envisioned. I had fun writing this for sure! I kinda got carried away with Rex, oops. Enjoy! 💛

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💛 Cody 💛

He is a tough man to crack.

He’s always the Marshal Commander, taking his duties seriously on and off the battlefield.

You started innocently, visions of you kissing up and down his torso, slowly taking off his armor and blacks, fondling his cock, whispering how good of a girl you’ve been and that you’re ready to please your Commander in any way.

Cody didn’t even look at you, though you saw his hand twitch slightly at his side.

You smiled to yourself, projecting a more enticing scene into his mind.

This time, you were sucking his cock, his gloved hand wrapped in your hair, mumbling how amazing your lips felt around him, how much he was going to reward you later for being so good to him.

Still, nothing. Though his jaw seemed tense as he listened to Obi-Wan go over battle plans.

You knew you were playing a dangerous game, an exceedingly dangerous game, one that you will be thouroughly punished for later.

The thought shot a jolt of pleasure straight to your core, upping the ante again, needing him to crack.

The next image was of you, laying on his bunk, pleasuring yourself, two fingers deep inside your sopping pussy, your other hand pinching and tweaking your nipples writhing and moaning in pleasure, getting off completely fine without his assistance.

Since my Commander can’t be bothered to help me, I have to take matters into my own hands…

You held that teasing, lewd image in his mind, and you could almost feel the blade of his stare pierce straight through you as he finally made eye contact across the room.

It was a simple gesture that said so much, and you knew you had him.

After the meeting, you went straight to your personal quarters, knowing he wouldn’t be too far behind.

As your door hissed closed behind you, it was open again, and Cody had you pinned to a nearby wall so fast you barely had time to register what was happening.

Cody was deadly silent as he crushed his lips to yours in a bruising kiss, teeth and tongue clashing as his armored body pressed into your robed one.

You smirked against his lips as he pulled away for air, your lungs burning. “Cody-“

Cody growled as he flipped you around, your face pressed up agains the wall, tugging down your robes, revealing your ass to him and your glistening pussy.

He gave your ass a solid smack, his lips against your ear, heavy and commanding.

“You’re not getting away with this.”

You sighed in both pain and pleasure, hearing the clunk of his codpiece hitting the floor, his fingers gripping your ass hard as he rubbed his rigid cock at your entrance.

“Is this what you wanted?” He husked, “to be filled by your Commander? To beg for this cock? Oh, mesh’la, you’ll be begging.”

You let out a whine as he teased your dripping entrance with his cockhead, already thinking you maybe took it a little too far with your visions, knowing he was a man true to his word.

It was too late now.

“Cody, please, I need-“

Smack! Another slap to your ass, his other hand wandering between your folds.

“Only good, obedient girls get this cock. After that stunt in the comm room, you have a lot to make up for.“

He swiped a finger over your clit, causing you to cry out, your body twitching, unable to move much between the wall and his solid form behind you.

He roughly rubbed your clit, pushing two fingers into your entrance, immediately finding the spongy spot that made you see stars.

“You’re soaking, mesh’la, so needy for me.”

You could feel your release coming quickly, choking out his name as his other hand groped at your breast.

Cody knew you were close, feeling you tighten around him, your high pitched moans giving you away.

Cody removed his fingers right as you were about to reach your peak.

You whimpered, trying to lean back against him, desperate for your release, for anything.

Cody spun you around again, pressing his gloved fingers soaked with your juice to your lips.

“If you’re good, I’ll let you cum. You haven’t proved yourself to me, though. Now be a good girl, and clean me up.”

You licked his gloved fingers clean, tasting yourself and giving him a little show of what you could do with your tongue, if you let him.

Cody’s eyes darkened, slowly pulling his fingers out of your mouth, a line of spit connecting your lips to his fingers.

“On your knees, mesh’la. Like I said, you have a lot to make up for.”

🖤 Wolffe 🖤

The image you projected was absolutely filthy.

Your hands were pinned behind your back by his large hand, the other pressing between your shoulder blades keeping you down on the bed as he pounded into you from behind.

You were shamelessly moaning his name like a dirty Holofilm star, crying out for him to go harder, faster.

You stood at attention, casually glancing at him, noticing a bead of sweat forming at Wolffe’s temple.

You could sense he was trying his best not to leap over the holomap and ravage you in front of everyone.

You decided he had enough of the first fantasy, briefly closed your eyes, projecting another scene into his mind.

You were on your knees in front of him, your mouth open as he shoots ropes of cum all over your face, greedily lapping it up, kissing up and down his still-hard cock, begging for more.

Wolffe’s eyes flashed at you, his cybernetic eye and scar making him look more dangerous than usual, his eyes narrowing.

Got him.

You were enjoying watching him keep it together, a vein bulging at his forehead, his neck tense as he stood at attention, listening to Master Koon’s hologram.

You knew you were in for it after the meeting.

That was the entire point.

Wolffe was practically kicking down the door to your personal quarters after the meeting, pinning you to your bed, his mouth ravaging yours, moving down to suck and bite at your neck, hard.

He had your wrists held above your head with one hand, his grip like iron.

There was no escape.

“What was that?” He growled as he continued the assault on your neck, his hand tightening even more around your wrists that were wiggling to get free.

You whined as his hand that was digging into your waist moved under your robes, up toward your breasts.

“Answer me, mesh’la. Or you won’t get what you so obviously want.”

His gloved touch left a trail of fire on your skin, sending goosebumps across your body and a jolt of arousal straight to your pussy, your panties wet at the anticipation.

“You looked bored during the meeting.” You smirked at up at him, breathy pants leaving you as he touched you. “Thought you could use some entertainment.”

Wolffe’s gaze darkened at your teasing tone, the ghost of a smirk on his lips.

Without warning, he ripped open the front of your robes, yanking down your breast band.

You yelped as he attacked your breasts with this lips and teeth, leaving more marks for him to gently kiss over later when he was through with you.

“Do you want my cum, mesh’la? Is that what you want?” Wolffe grunted against your flushed skin as he switched to your other breast.

You gasped a yes, his teeth expertly nipping and tugging at your sensitive bud.

You writhed, your wrists still restrained above your head by his strong hand.

“I’ll fill your mouth to the brim, and you’ll swallow every drop, isn’t that right you filthy girl?”

You nodded, almost delirious just at his mouth on your nipples. He hadn’t even really started touching you yet.

“And then I’ll fill that pretty pussy of yours, but only if you behave. Will you behave for me?”

“Y-yes!” Your voice cracked, needing him to fuck you until you couldn’t remember your name.

“Yes…?” He stopped, his predatory gaze locking on you.

“Yes…Commander.”

“Good girl.”

Wolffe continued ravaging your breasts, your mewls filling the room.

“Please, I want your cock inside me, I want you to cum so deep inside me, Wolf-Commander. I’ll be good, I promise…”

Wolffe released your wrists, your hands finally free.

“You haven’t been good though, you knew that the second you invaded my mind with those visions.”

Wolffe sat up, and began removing his armor. You forgot it was even still on.

“I’ll make sure you’re properly punished for such distractions, and then I’ll decide when you’re ready for my cock.”

You shivered at his promise as he climbed over you, just in his blacks, the outline of his rigid cock straining against the fabric.

“I dunno, Commander. You seem to be all bark and no bite.” You teased, knowing you were getting yourself into even more trouble.

A dark chuckle reverberated in his chest, ripping your pants and panties down your legs, tossing them to the side.

Wolffe grasped your thighs, biting down into the soft flesh of your inner leg, earning a loud yelp from you as his tongue eased the first of many marks he will leave on your body.

“Be careful what you wish for, mesh’la.”

💙 Rex 💙

You had him sweating and fidgeting as Rex tried to keep a straight face in the briefing room.

Rex was attempting to listen to the mission report, but your vision in his mind was proving to be quite the distraction.

You were on his face, his hands grasping your thighs as he feasted on your pussy from below.

“Rex, oh kriff, more, please, I need your big cock, I want you to ruin me.”

Rex gave you a desperate look from across the room, slightly shaking his head.

You ignored his pleading glance, changing the vision.

Now, you were splayed out on his desk in his private Captain’s quarters, his cock driving deeper and deeper into you, your back arching as you rubbed your clit, cumming over and over again around him.

His desk was dripping with your juices, your breasts bouncing almost comically as you cried out his name, hamming up the vision to see Rex squirm.

Rex suddenly coughed, everyone in the room looking at him momentarily.

You rocked on your heels, hands behind your back, pretending to listen as the pre-mission brief continued, completely innocent.

Finally, the meeting ended.

You exited the room, Rex quickly walking past you.

“My office. Now.” He hissed quietly, before being called over by Anakin to discuss further plans.

When Rex opened the door to his office, you were sitting at his desk, waiting for him.

“You have a lot of explaining to do, General.” Rex strode up to you, placing his hands on his desk, leaning over toward you.

You loved it when he used his serious Captain voice on you.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Captain.”

“You know.” His voice dropped an octave, husky and gruff, just how you liked it.

“You’ll have to elaborate. I can’t read minds.”

Rex stood up straight, his expression unreadable. You continued to sit in his chair as he walked around the desk and over to you.

Rex leaned down again, placing his hands on the armrests of the chair, caging you in.

For a moment, you thought he was actually upset with you. You felt guilty, maybe you did take it too far in the meeting.

You opened your mouth to apologize, but Rex spoke first.

“I think you can, mesh’la. How else would you know those visions are what I think about doing to you every waking moment?”

His lips were hovering centimeters from yours, a quiet gasp leaving your lips, your body quivering at his statement.

Oh, he liked it.

His breath fanned over your face, feeling your panties dampen, his usual soft eyes glazed over with lust.

You leaned forward to close the small distance, wanting to taste him, but he pulled away, avoiding your kiss.

“Mmm, mesh’la. You’re not going to get what you want so easily.” Rex purred in your ear, his gloved hand snaking up your neck, tilting your head to the side.

He placed a hot kiss right below your ear, lazily licking your neck.

“Rex…” you sighed, grasping at his shoulder pads, his teeth grazing your skin, his lips pressing to the side of your jaw.

“You want something from me?” He removed himself from you, kneeling between your legs.

“I’m not sure if you deserve it. I could write you up for what you did back there.”

Rex hooked his fingers under your pants, pulling them down your legs. You lifted your ass, helping him remove your lower clothes.

“Yeah? What would the report say?” You shuddered as Rex began lavishing your bare thighs, teeth and tongue sucking and nibbling as he slowly made his way up to your aching apex.

You could feel Rex smirk against your skin.

“My General coercing me into questionable situations. Inappropriate use of Jedi abilities.”

Rex stopped right at your core, aching and throbbing for him. You could feel his breath on your pussy, desperate now for any friction.

You let out a frustrated whine as Rex kissed your inner thigh, ignoring where you needed him most.

“Rex…”

“Patience, mesh’la. You need a lesson in discipline, it seems.”

Rex brushed his nose against your clit, your hips instinctually bucking up toward him, your hands grasping at his buzzed hair.

You groaned impatiently as he gently kissed your labia, touching you everywhere but your clit.

“You’re not going to get what you want so easily.” He rumbled into your core, a finger now teasing your entrance.

You panted, knowing you asked for this, that you deserved this, but you could still protest to his teasing.

“Captain, please…” You begged, shifting your hips, hoping he would press his finger knuckle deep inside you.

Rex continued to just tease your entrance with his finger tip, slowly circling, not quite pressing all the way inside.

“Kriff, you’re so wet. Do you want me to fuck you on my desk? Do you want to cum over and over again on my cock?”

You nodded, heavy pants the only sound able to leave your lips as he finally pressed his finger inside.

“Use your words, is that what you want?”

Rex’s lips were brushing over your clit, the teasing almost too much.

“Y-yes! Please, Rex, I need you inside me!” Your words came out as a garbled cry as he suddenly sucked on your clit, adding a second finger to your pussy, stretching you so deliciously you thought you might cry, pleasure shooting up your spine.

And his cock wasn’t even inside you yet.

“You’ll get my cock, mesh’la, don’t worry. But first, I want you to cum just like this.” Rex added a third finger, his tongue and lips circling your clit, your vision white from the pleasure as you squirmed and writhed in his chair, totally at his mercy, your orgasm building quickly.

You came apart on his fingers, shaking and sobbing his name, pleasure coursing through you as Rex’s fingers and mouth worked you through your first orgasm.

“You’re so beautiful when you cum.” Rex’s pupils were blown with desire, licking his lips as he cleaned you up, his baritone voice was laden with desire, his control now gone.

You barely had time to come down from you high as Rex easily lifted you onto his desk, removing his codpiece in a flash, pulling down his blacks far enough for his flushed, dripping cock to spring free.

“And you’re going to cum again, and again, and again. Are you ready, mesh’la? This is what you asked for.”

Your answer was a cry of his name, his hands gripping your hips as he slammed into you, starting a devastating pace, fucking you exactly like you showed him in your vision.

Your last coherent thought before being so thoroughly fucked and blissed out by your Captain was that you should definitely tease him like this more often.

Tag list: @littlemissmanga @maybethatfanfictionwriter @secondaryrealm @sinfulsalutations @anxiouspineapple99 @secretthegriffin @idontgetanysleep @starqueensthings @dystopicjumpsuit @wings-and-beskar @dreamie411 @aconstructofamind @coraex @multi-fan-dom-madness @freesia-writes @kashasenpai @sunshinesdaydream @din-miller @clonemedickix @wizardofrozz @pb-jellybeans @wanderer-six @blueink-bluesoul @the-cantina @king-chaos-world @wolffegirlsunite @dukeoftheblackstar @523rdrebel @sleepingsun501 @sunshinesdaydream

#Inappropriate use of the Force #commander Cody x reader #commander Wolffe x reader #captain rex x reader #commander Cody #commander Wolffe #captain rex #the clone wars #the clone wars x reader #the clone wars smut #x reader #reader insert #tcw fanfiction

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fisheito · 3 months ago

Note

hello... please consider... yakumo in:

the classic traditional style qipaos

the modernised and modified ones

bonus: modified hanfu

he would look wonderful wouldn't he? all the more delectable and sashimiable?

ahaha...ahah...AHAHHAH.AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

#feesh answer #the more i scrolled the more manic laughter leaked out of my face. exolkoiddeploded really #i had no images to accurately convey my emotion. so i had to make one #BEHOLD! MY PHOTO COLLAGE SKILLS!!!!!!🤣#did you really just have yakumo-coloured outfits ready and waiting somewhere in your storage??!#your curation feels like a personal attack even tho i know you just out here doin things for You #me normally: i want the most obnoxious ridiculous over the top colour combo and clashing finalfantasia10000belts mess----#me now: ok but there's something about that 3rd modern one. it's. so simple. but. i. but i......#i need him to be cute and helpful in the traditional ones. i want him walking around in the garden just sniffing pretty flowers #wait no i want him in one of th emodified ones just absolutely DESTROYING eiden's ---#waiT no I want him IN THE FLOWING ETERNALGARMENTS WITH HIS GLOWY EYES AND SOBBING POSSESSED DEMEANOUR BUT NOT ACTUALLY POSSESSED #so just glowing and crying. got it #WAIT NO-#god it's like all the things i used to be meh about or go 'what kinda character design is this'#now i'll see it on yaku and it's.....well......#those maiden buns? the lil twin baobao or whatever? hated thsoe things forever and always #then someone will put em on yakumo and suddenly everything is fine #WHAT IS HE DOING WITH THE LIL. ORBS ON HIS HEAD. I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYONE WHO WEARS THEM.#ONLY LITTLE GIRLIES. IS IT INAPPROPRIATE TO GIVE YAKU THE BUNS #BUT I. IF HE DOESN'T WEAR HIS HAIR LIKE THAT.#i will straihjtt up put steamed buns on his head #and force him to stay still and balance them #until i finish eating them all #it's a game of pile bread on the snake #i will require a stepladder #nu carnival yakumo

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toxicanonymity · 2 years ago

Text

Aisle 39. Ben's Hardware

5250 words / Ben Solo x Rey

Warnings: I8+ mdni. Sexual tension, dubcon (via uninformed use of force connection but she wants it), dry humping. I 🖤 Dry Humping. Hardware Store AU but more than meets the eye.

A/N: posting my first fic in any fandom since I never posted it on Tumblr aside from the AO3 link and Tumblr is home now 🖤. I'm resisting the urge to improve it 😅 I'm not even gonna reread before posting. It was originally reader insert but @dark-scape translated to reylo. Lmk if you want the reader insert version instead and that can be arranged.

Rey visually undresses him. He inhales through his strong nose, meets her gaze, and cocks an eyebrow: “Now that’s an idea." He sinks all the way back into the cushions, his huge palms on his thighs, as if to take in the moment with a subtle, satisfied smile. He then abruptly sits back up and starts unbuttoning his shirt. As if on command.

Rey drives through the streets of Jakku. It's a chilly day, but bright for mid December. The sun is in her eyes, but the drive isn't long enough to commit to finding her sunglasses. As she turns into a parking lot, she sees the cafe next door is open and realizes it will be the perfect day to grab her favorite nutmeg butternut squash soup with their signature green tea bread if she can make it out of the hardware store before the lunch rush really picks up. This is a rare opportunity because the cafe's hours are aligned to typical office job hours when she’s normally across town.

Rumor has it the hardware store is locally-owned now, and she wonders how much it’s changed. She's taken a vacation day to finish some holiday shopping and errands, and thought of an easy home improvement project last night to spruce up Finn and Poe’s house while she housesits and takes care of their cat Bebe. She wants to fix the dimmer for the light above their kitchen table. The knob has been missing for awhile now, and even when you twist the naked peg, the lights don't dim, so she assumes the bulbs aren’t the right kind. She figures she can fix this with a new plastic knob, a 4-pack of dimmable LED lights, and five minutes of labor. She can finish it off with a little red bow on the new dial. This will be a nice surprise and will also give her an excuse to procrastinate her other errands.

Turns out, not much has changed. She clip-clops through the sliding doors in her warmest boots and still sees orange aprons with names hand-written in sharpie. She immediately locates the light bulbs and spends a few minutes longer than necessary deciding which pack to get. She looks at her phone and sees she has about ten minutes until the lunch rush, so it's time to find the other item she needs, the knob.

She looks up and sees a worker. He's wearing a dark gray jacket over his apron, and what looks like a lighter gray hoodie under it. It isn’t that cold in here, she thinks . She almost leaves him alone, but something on his apron catches her eye. She can't see the name, but barely sees the edge of an expertly doodled death star. Bold choice.

He's got a nice head of dark hair, chin length, tapered around his face, but out of the way enough to see his eyes are brown. He runs his hand through his hair over the top of his crown as though slicking it back, then some of the strands fall back down. His face is a mix of heart and square shaped with a masculine jaw and strong nose. He has the stubble of a mustache and soul patch but no beard.

He has beauty marks, so many. How many? Are they just on his face or all over? He has an enviously clear complexion and looks like he tans easily. He's kind of tall, but not looming, maybe because his head is bowed slightly as he lifts a crate of lightbulb boxes and begins to unpack it. He seems athletic, hard to tell with what he's wearing. He has a youthful vibe but isn't exactly boyish.

He carries himself like he knows more or less what he's doing, but doesn't take the job too seriously. Rey imagines he wouldn't be the best candidate to tell her how to do a project, but he must know the aisles at least. She doesn't like to be a bother, but hopes it's an easy enough question, and he's standing right there. He can tell she’s about to ask him something and looks up. The whites of his eyes are clear and sparkly. Rey wonders if hers would be like that if she blinked more, which leads to her unintentionally fluttering her lashes.

She finally says, close to a whisper, “Can I ask you something?” I asked… if I can ask him something. She groans inwardly.

She isn’t prepared for the gentle baritone voice he responds with, "Yeah. Sure."

"Uh, where can I find the light switches and dimmers?"

"AISLE 39. I think. Here, I'll show you." He sounds about twice as old as he looks. Those few words he speaks are enough to flip a switch in Rey. Her heart is melting at the same time her mind is racing. She can't tell for sure because he’s so bundled up, but she imagines he has strong arms and is in great shape based on the vascularity of his hands as he holds his barcode reader. He's working in the middle of the school day so he's got to be at least 18, not that he looks any younger, but Rey tends to think in worst case scenarios. Realistically, she would peg him for mid-twenties, but his voice sounds at least two decades older.

He walks her to aisle 39 and stops. She thanks him for his help, and as she turns to walk in the direction he pointed, she realizes she’s slightly blushing and she’s been silent. She doesn't want her shyness to come off as cold, so she makes eye contact and lets a little smile sprout from the left corner of her mouth across her lips, small but beaming. She hopes it doesn't come off as a smirk or make him self conscious. She can't tell whether he's the self conscious type.

She figures she can find the item herself from here, and doesn't think to ask him about the specific product. She wanders nearly all the way down the aisle, but after several minutes of searching (albeit distractedly), Rey is relieved to see him come back with another customer. He's helping a man find a specific thing, not a whole aisle. She’s jealous, even though it was her own fault not to ask. She hopes he sticks around and asks her if she found everything okay, but when he's done with the other customer it seems like he's about to leave.

She quickly approaches him. “Can I- can I ask for your help again?” Asking to ask again. Do I always sound this ridiculous? She tells him about the dimmer she’s looking for, which is apparently called a rotary switch.

To her surprise and delight, he talks far more than he needs to about rotary switches. His dark velvet voice is lulling Rey half into a fantasy while she struggles to continue listening to his words. He repeats almost every word she says back to him coolly and casually. And these aren't complicated concepts. She isn’t sure if he's practicing an active listening technique from sales training or is simply aware of his effect on women. Or his effect on her. She stands inches from him and looks into his eyes. She wonders to what extent her white cheeks have bloomed into roses under her freckles and given her away.

"You need a dimmer?" He looks her in the eyes, but she’s transfixed on every flex of his jaw and twitch of his lip as he talks.

"Yes, but just the knob, not the whole thing,” she says.

He nods thoughtfully then confirms, "So you just need the plastic part?"

“Right, there’s still a stick you can use to turn it, but it’s naked,” Rey confirms. She pulls her phone out of her back pocket to show him what kind of set-up the panel has and what part she needs.

"So on the panel there's an up-down switch, and a rotary dimmer."

“Yeah." She shows him the knob on the store's app and says, "I think the dimmer part is in stock.”

He replies "Oh, it says aisle 2?" He looks in that direction like he’s trying to remember what’s in aisle 2. He must be new.

"No, we’re in the right aisle. It's wrong on the preview page, but if you click into it you can see," she explains.

"Oh, ok. This is what you need though?" He locks eyes with Rey.

Just like that, she’s imagining him taking off his apron and hoodie at the end of the day, revealing meaty biceps that want to burst out of a black, soft washed t-shirt. Running his large hand through his hair. Flexing those beautiful arms as he peels off the shirt. A smooth torso with hard pecs, scant chest hair. At the thought of this, the left half of her bottom lip starts to creep under her left front teeth, and he cracks a smile for the first time, from the right side of his mouth, almost like a mirror image to Rey’s. His teeth are pretty but unassuming. They're close to white and not overly straight.

Her cheeks grow warmer and she looks away, responding to his question with a slight nod, which she hopes doesn’t read as hesitant, before resuming eye contact. “Yeah,” she quietly confirms.

"But you don't need the regular switch, right?" He speaks with a relaxed beat, not rushing the conversation to its end.

"Uh-huh."

He's speaking low and soft and looks back and forth between Rey’s eyes, not at the screen they’re both supposedly studying. "You just need the dimmer."

"Yeah." She feels like this is being drawn out to the point of overkill, but she’s not complaining.

"And you only need the plastic part." Every time he speaks is like music.

"Yeah," she confirms, barely audible, with a smile.

He continues to search her eyes and she repeats, "Yeah."

For a brief moment, he seems to gaze at Rey as lustily as she knows she is looking at him before he gathers his thoughts. She feels self conscious and suspects by the amount that he’s talking he must know the spellbinding effect his voice has on her. But if that's the case, she supposes there’s no harm that could come from him knowing it.

"Okay, let’s go over here," he says as he leads her back to where she started at the front of the aisle. "I think I see it.” He crouches down to get something from the bottom shelf.

"That’s it!" Rey says with a grin.

She feels bad for not crouching down with him. She’s always self conscious of making people do too much work, but then she also doesn’t want to make it awkward by taking over. So it's not that she expects him to serve her, she’s just frozen. He starts to pull the small product off the metal rods. It's the exact one she’d shown him on her phone, but she notices a better color next to it. Rey squats down and as she looks at the package to the right of the one he's holding, he almost looks disappointed that he didn't pick the exact unit she needed.

She says, "This one is even better, it'll match the old yellowed white." As she slides the package toward her, her right thumb almost imperceptibly brushes his left hand which is still holding the other package. She hasn’t even thought about his package yet, but the lightest brush of his skin is enough to short Rey’s circuits. She gets nervous and stands up, thanks him twice with a genuine smile and that's all she can do.

"No problem," he says, and that's all. As Rey watches him walk away, she feels an odd desperation to hear his voice again. She thinks about making up another question and recording him with an app. Is that creepy? It’s a little creepy, but not full-blown creepy, right? It isn't an option to never hear his voice again. She briefly glances around and he's nowhere in sight. She gets a hold of herself and makes her way to the self checkout line and pays.

Scanning the parking lot as she leaves, Rey wonders which car is his. When she gets to her car, she realizes she doesn’t have her keys. She sheepishly walks back inside and grabs her keys and receipt from the self-checkout terminal she just used. She looks at the receipt - “Ben’s Hardware”. So it did change ownership. She feels someone watching her from the aisle straight ahead, but tries to play it cool. She smiles and shakes her head in disbelief as she turns around and leaves, heart pounding.

Rey forgets all about the soup she was going to get and drives on autopilot to the house to install the dimmer and bulbs. What was that back there? When did I become so shy? It’s been a long time since she’s felt a visceral longing for someone, too. She can feel the animal inside of her awakening from a years-long slumber. She isn’t worried about it, she welcomes it. It’s tame. She has the maturity and experience to stay in control.

She pulls into the broken driveway and parks under the carport. Bebe runs to greet her and Rey bends down to pet her when she opens the car door. This should be an easy but impactful little project. She enters the kitchen, and takes the rotary dial out, dismissing a ridiculous passing thought that she should have bought the white one, too, because he touched it. She tears the packaging open and holds the off-white plastic rotary dial in her hand, smiling as she remembers all the ways he described it.

She raises the cream plastic dial to the light switch panel and glances at its underside, confirming it’s compatible. The unsheathed rotary peg juts out from the panel in anticipation. She holds the dial by its outer edge, aligning its hole with the peg, and gently eases the peg inside. The dial slides all the way on and snaps into place. It sticks out a little far from the wall, but it works. Then she unscrews the light bulbs in the cheap chandelier one by one and replaces them with the dimmable ones she bought.

Finally, the moment of truth - she presses the rotary dial, which turns on the lights, but when she rotates the dimmer, it dims nothing. The dimmer wiring itself might not be LED compatible. Of course. It looks like she’ll have to go back to the store, but not today. She does her shopping and begrudgingly runs errands, and finishes off her day with a warm cup of rooibos.

When she gets in bed, her mind drifts back to Him. She’s dying to hear his voice again. He was so calm, aloof, but somehow radiating power. She interprets it as sexual energy, but she wonders if she’s just seeing what she wants to see. To keep his voice in her mind, she imagines him narrating, “So. This is your bed… we’re going to use an extra blanket tonight, because it’s cold.” She feels ridiculous. But when she drifts off to sleep, there he is.

***

Rey is in a living room, but not hers. It’s a subtle mid-century style with huge windows and modern touches. It’s dimly lit with a fire roaring behind a glass. He’s slouched on a stool at a wet bar, drinking something on the rocks. He’s wearing black slacks, a form-fitting charcoal button-up shirt, untucked, with the cuffs unbuttoned. He has one foot on a rung of the stool and another with its heel on the ground as he looks at his glass.

He looks at Rey and puts down the glass. “Drink?” he asks, standing up to go around the other side of the bar. Rey watches him. “Whisky? Wine? Water?” he asks, while filling a glass of water. “I’m fine,” she replies. He puts the glass of water down on the smooth granite in front of a second stool that’s still tucked under the bar. As he walks out from behind the bar, he lets his fingers graze the leather seat of the closest stool. Rey notices he’s shoeless, wearing black and gray argyle socks. Why is he so quiet?

Right on cue, he says, “Well, you’re here. What do you want to do?” It’s so vivid. Rey is frozen and says nothing. Her heartbeat quickens. He paces patiently. There’s a teal sectional facing the fireplace. The living room has soft carpet that feels new under her bare feet. He walks across the living room, crossing into It a breakfast nook with an oak table. Behind the kitchen table, he reaches for the wall and lightly touches a conspicuously cheap looking dial that dims the room further. He comes back toward Rey, and pauses between the breakfast nook and living room. There’s a cabinet separating the spaces, about the same height as the kitchen table. It has a record player and a box of records sitting on top of it.

He approaches the record cabinet, which is about hip height to him. He’s facing Rey, with the cabinet and the entire living room in between them. With a casual stretch of one leg, he spreads his feet to lower himself a little and look at the records. He rolls up his sleeves, glancing up at her with his tan forearms flexing. He thumbs through the vinyl records, which appear to have no words on the covers. He has his head down, his hair has fallen slightly in his face, and he’s glancing up at Rey every few seconds as he thumbs through the box.

He starts reading out the names of records, and her butterflies intensify at the low rumble of his voice. “Led Zeppelin III,” “Some Girls,” “Get Behind Me Satan,” “Ocean’s 11,” “Travis” “John Wick 2” The foliage outside rustles gently against the window. The next time he looks up at her, he doesn't look back down. It’s an expectant gaze as though to see if the sound of his voice was effective. She squirms a little and blushes. He holds her gaze, squints slightly, and smiles a little. He’s finished going through the records. He doesn’t put anything on the record player, but a song she likes starts playing anyway. Think, by Kaleida.

He gives Rey a mischievous, inquisitive look, and runs his hand through his hair as he walks over to the sectional. He takes a seat and hinges forward at the hip, putting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together. She admires the shape of his forearms. He raises his clasped hands upright and sets his chin on them playfully, his biceps straining his sleeves as he meets her eyes. He says, “Well, here we are at my place,” which she doubts. Rey doesn’t know what she expects his place is like in reality, but it isn’t this refined. He chuckles, removing his elbows from his knees and resuming a more grown-up posture. With arched brows and an otherwise straight face, he says, “Really.” His brows relax again. “What do you feel like doing?” His voice floods every inch of her body with a yearning to be touched.

She doesn’t know how to answer him. She doesn’t know how she got there or what’s going on, but the combination of his voice, eye contact, and arms are enough for Rey to begin visually undressing him. He inhales through his strong nose, meets her gaze, and cocks an eyebrow: “Now that’s an idea." He sinks all the way back into the cushions, his palms on his thighs, as if to take in the moment with a subtle, satisfied smile. He then abruptly sits back up and starts unbuttoning his shirt. As if on command. . . Holy shit, Rey thinks. She realizes this is a dream. She’s lucid. It’s like a 5-d game where she can feel everything. In theory, she can do whatever she wants. What she really wants at this moment is to straddle him.

He glances down between his legs and coolly says, “sit anywhere you want.” She feels observed, even though he isn’t real. She walks over to the sectional and perches next to him on the edge of its velvet cushion. She feel herself getting wet. She’s wearing a gray stretch miniskirt–something she wouldn’t have picked out for herself–black leggings, and a green cardigan with no undershirt. He finishes unbuttoning his shirt and discards it on the floor. She sees exactly what she’d pictured earlier - a strong physique, his lightly bronzed arms straining against a soft washed t-shirt. “What’s your name,” he asks, and she feel a warmth growing between her legs. She tells him, “Rey.” “Rey,” he repeats, and she fruitlessly responds, “What’s yours?”

He sighs and gazes around wistfully, “Her name is Rey.” Then his eyes are back on her. He places a large hand softly on her knee. Electrified, she reciprocates. It’s not real, she reminds herself. She can do anything. The guy from the store will never know. She dares to run her hand a few inches up his quad and give his muscle a light squeeze. He exhales with the slightest little groan, “yeah,” and moves his hand to the small of back to urge her closer. She’s sitting next to him but facing him now, left leg folded under her, working her right hand up his quad.

The expanse of his thigh dwarfs her pale fingers on his black pants as she leans forward and lets her heel nestle between her legs to relieve some tension. A tsunami of tingling deep inside her spreads through her breasts. She grips his thigh for support, and lifts herself just barely, intending to bring the inner crook of one knee up over his closest leg in a cuddly way while remaining seated on the couch. A tent in his pants catches her eye and her skin starts to burn with urgency. If she moves too quickly, she wonders if she could startle herself awake.

As Rey raises her leg, he brings his far hand to it, gently coaxing her to move all the way onto his lap. Her skirt rides up over her ass as she follows his lead. He seizes one buttock in each hand, gives them a gentle squeeze, and takes a deep breath. She is overcome with arousal and takes her own deep breath, shuddering and blinking slowly as she exhales. Her legs are now spread wide open straddling his lap, but she’s hovering and hasn’t put her weight on him yet. Her head is a little higher than his in this position. He bows his head and nuzzles his nose into her cardigan between her breasts, closing his eyes and taking in her scent.

Rey’s modest chest is heaving against his face and he cradles her with both arms as she breathes. She places her hands gently on his shoulders, and slowly moves them inward to fondle the hair at the nape of his neck. She twirls a lock around her finger contemplatively, but she’s still hovering. His arms are under hers with his face still in her sweater. He drags his nose up to her neck and she feels her cardigan unbutton, exposing a lace bra, which is fastened in the front. He looks up at her and reiterates in an intimate whisper, “you can sit anywhere you want.”

Rey could tell from his breathing what would await her in his lap. Her leggings were already soaked. One by one, she scooted her knees closer to the back of the couch on either side of his expansive torso and let her weight down. She is now truly straddling him, her inner thighs and the intimate seam of her warm, moist leggings fully embracing his arousal. Her wetness spread through her leggings and into his pants. His lumber swells against her, pulsing into her aching nub. “Yeah,” he breathes. “Right here.” She leans forward to feel his full length, which spans from her privates to her belly button as he thrusts against her.

Over the course of a few blissful seconds, she feels his erection press harder against her, slide upward, then come back down, and repeat. His mouth finds her neck, then her mouth. She accept his lips hungrily and grinds back in rhythm. Her lips pull away as pleasure shoots through her gut and breasts. She leans her head back and gasps. He moves his way back down to her heart, nuzzling his nose along her neck then planting a kiss on her collar bone, another kiss on her breast.

Then his teeth lightly pinch her skin as they find the front of her bra. He looks up at her as the clasp flies open and her breasts are free. Her hard nipples are framed loosely by her dangling bra and the top half of her cardigan which is still buttoned, only at the bottom. She’s still wearing leggings, but his cock feels too good to leave it for even one moment to undress further. She continues to slowly grind against him as he moves one hand to her breast, keeping the other behind her for support. He palms one breast, lightly at first, grazing her nipple with the heel of his palm, then softly cups the whole breast, enveloping it in his large hand as he continues to slowly thrust into her warmth He uses his free hand to bring her close enough to kiss her other breast.

Rey is burning up now. He undoes the last two buttons of her cardigan and she lets it fall off her shoulders, discarding her bra at the same time. She reaches down to the hem of his shirt and slides four curled fingers underneath it. He helps her take it off, and she takes in the sight of his shredded torso. His right pec has a scar. She traces it with her thumb. His pecs are so hard. As she explores him, they continue grinding, then he gives a more emphatic thrust, like his cock cannot physically get close enough to her. She reaches between their loins and strokes his arousal through his pants, tracing the outline of his cock in detail. His pants are damp and shiny from her leggings and with a wetter spot of his own.

Rey needs him badly. He isn’t wearing a belt. She frantically searches for his button and zipper and carefully frees him. She holds, and beholds, the glorious, veiny shaft that lands in her hand. She savors the feeling of its soft skin as it throbs in her hand. “You. . . are a vision,” he murmurs into her chest, which is exactly what she was thinking about his package. She moves her thumb to the head of his cock, collects a bead of precum, and swirls around the head affectionately. Her brows furrow with want. He holds her tighter, closing the gap between them. He begins thrusting again, hard and slow. Rey grinds her throbbing warmth against his lower shaft while her hand is still in between them.

She feels the spine of her groin twitching and knows she’s close. She takes a deep breath and lets a sharper pleasure overtake her chest and groin. Her breath quickens as she nears her peak. She still has her leggings on. He reaches his broad hands into the back of her leggings, taking one buttcheek in each hand and moves her up and down against him. “I need you,” he breathes. They look into each other’s eyes and there’s something wild in his pupils, something dark, like a warm, black hole, drawing her in. “Take me,” she says. He reaches a hand behind her neck to cradle her head, and they gaze at each other, breathing, grinding. Then he pulls her face decisively to his.

Rey inhales through her nose as their lips meet hungrily. He kisses her hard, too messily to seal their mouths together, leaving his lower lip between her lips as he draws in a deep breath through his mouth. He then closes his lips on her upper lip, his teeth and tongue slightly grazing it. Half his mouth opens into hers, the other halves of their mouths still breathing heavily.

He shifts her slightly upward, wraps her around his waist, and she feels the head of his rock hard cock aggressively nuzzling her clit, up and down. His tongue finds hers and she lets it brush against her teeth. When she pulls away for a moment, he looks her in the eyes. They’re both moving faster now, and as they’re about to come, she folds herself into him, sliding her lips down his chin to his neck and opening her mouth, breathing against his skin.

His thumb finds her most sensitive place and one touch sends her over the edge. The pleasure is almost too much to bear. Her ass clenches as ecstacy blooms from her groin, her nipples, her ears, and deep within her gut. Muscles she didn’t even know she had shudder in release, and he wraps his arms tight around her, thrusting to the beat of her orgasm. She rides wave after wave, pulsating against his cock, and as another wave swells he groans, and she feels his cock begin its own contractions, intensifying hers.

Rey’s mouth is open against his neck and she’s breathing into his skin and as he unleashes a huge lode of cum, between them, soaking through her leggings, and gluing their clothes together. Her canines dig harmlessly into the side of his neck – she can’t resist – then she brings her lips to the flesh and seals it with a kiss. She collapses into him, loosely hugging him with her legs, and the two of them just breathe. Then he tightens his arms around her in a hug, and she looks up. She sees the mark of her teeth on his neck, and remembers no one else will see it. This isn’t real.

She nuzzles her head into her mark and blinks her eyelashes against his skin. He sighs slowly through his nose, then she feel the vibrations of his voice against her face as he says, “You are… remarkable.” She lies there breathing for a few minutes and he wraps them both in a cream, cable-knit throw. She falls asleep in his arms and wakes up in her own bed, marveling at how a dream can make one feel like they’ve experienced someone so intimately. She hadn’t had a lucid dream in years. She absently scratches an itch between her breasts and wonders how she can be sure to dream of him again tonight. Was it the rooibos, or the sheer will of her want?

#adam driver character #ben solo fanfic #ben solo smut #kylo ren smut #ben solo x rey #kylo ren #kylo ren x rey #toxicanonymity ☠️#reylo fanfic #reylo smut #reylo #inappropriate use of the force #wrong use of the force #tw dubcon #star wars fanfiction

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serenxanthe · 5 months ago

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Return to Hoth: A SWTOR Story

In which Seren avoids telling Theron why she really really hates Hoth.

TW: brief suicidal ideation

Theron glanced at Seren with concern, as soon as he’d finished docking with the space station airlock he’d talk to her, he decided. They’d put off this mission to Hoth again and again, the reasons getting more and more spurious, and ok, he got it, Hoth was nobody’s favourite destination. Except that Seren didn’t usually worry about things like cold, or heat, or extreme physical danger like normal people, this was very out of character.

As they’d got closer and closer to the planet she’d got quieter and quieter, and simultaneously clingier, physically; her hand on his thigh as he piloted, her head resting on his shoulder, her arms around his waist every time he stood up. Not that he minded, far from it. But it didn’t seem like her usual happy, playful affection, it was almost like she needed the contact. And she was so damn quiet.

The airlock hissed as it disengaged. “Seren…” he stood and turned to her, and before he knew it she was in his arms again, clinging to him. This wasn’t normal. They’d spent almost every day together since they had first landed on Odessen to start building the Alliance, coming up for a year ago now. He had been the one who had clung to her at first, struggling to believe that she was here, she was really here, having lost her for five years, thinking she was dead for the first two of those. They certainly didn’t take each other for granted even now, but… Seren’s behaviour was so odd, and it seemed directly connected with Hoth somehow.

“Seren…” he tried again. But she didn’t respond other than to snuggle into him even more closely, her face pressed into his chest.

“Seren, look at me, please?”

She reluctantly tipped her face up to look at him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked her.

She opened her mouth, hesitated, then said, “Nothing, I’m fine.” But her eyes slid away from his.

Theron sighed. “Ok love, if you’re sure?”

He felt her nod into his armpit, and sighed again, he couldn’t force her to talk to him.

He squeezed her then reluctantly let go of her. “Come on then, let’s get going. The sooner we get down there the sooner we’re done.”

They carried their cold weather gear through the space station orbiting the frozen planet. The air temperature up here was comfortably warm. Despite that, Seren was dressed modestly, if not exactly like the typical Jedi. They’d learnt early on that in Republic spaces, the sight of a Jedi with her legs uncovered, a Jedi being openly affectionate towards her boyfriend, made people deeply uncomfortable, even hostile. The fact that she was no longer technically a member of the Jedi Order was a distinction that didn’t matter; they saw her as a Jedi, and therefore she should behave as one. In order to move freely in Republic space and use Republic infrastructure Seren had taken to wearing leggings instead of shorts and ensuring there was no hint of cleavage in her choice of robes. As a couple their behaviour in public was circumspect enough that while Republic officials might have suspected, there were no longer any horrified gasps like when she’d held his hand that time, or mutters of ‘disgusting’ like when he’d kissed her cheek briefly once.

Seren marched through the space station at a ferocious pace, as if she was taking Theron’s point about getting in and out quickly extremely seriously. As the shuttle down to the surface readied for takeoff they put their cold weather gear on. Layers of high tech materials topped off with archaic animal skin parkas. As a Jedi, Seren hated wearing something made from a dead creature, but science had as yet been unable to develop better protection from the frozen wasteland of Hoth.

Theron leant forward and gently tightened the fastenings around Seren’s fur hood for her, tucking her hair in, ignoring the Republic troops as they nudged each other and whispered, shocked. Plausible deniability Theron told himself. Her face was pale and her eyes were wide, looking at him with something like pleading. For what? He wanted to kiss her, reassure her that whatever this was would be ok, but of course he couldn’t.

Even in the relative shelter of Aurek Base, the Republic HQ on the surface, their breath steamed the air. Theron had been once before, but hadn’t stayed long, who would? And so didn’t properly know his way around. Seren in contrast seemed to know exactly where she was going, navigating expertly through the maze of frigid corridors towards the quartermaster’s office, still travelling at her rapid marching pace.

“You’ve spent quite a bit of time here, huh?” Theron commented.

Seren stopped and nodded at him, still with that odd look of pleading on her face, or was it longing? For him? But… he was right here, and he was hers. She’d seemed secure and content in their relationship up until now, more so than him in many ways, their time apart feeling like months to her, rather than the years it was. Theron looked around, the corridor was empty of other personnel, and he couldn’t hear anyone coming. He took a risk and stepped closer to Seren, pulling her into his arms for a hug. Again she clung to him, the bulky parkas meant they could barely feel each other’s bodies, but she pressed herself as close as she could.

“Seren, please tell me what's wrong?” Theron begged her, but she just shook her head and marched off again towards the quartermaster.

Theron arrived at the office thirty seconds after Seren and found she was already telling him what they needed. She must have barely greeted the man Theron thought, this is so unlike her.

They were handed the key fob for a light cold-weather speeder. The quartermaster told them it was standard issue Republic military but ruggedised for the climate. Theron thanked him, privately sceptical. The base and its equipment had never been at the top of the Republic’s list for funding, and years of oppression under the Eternal Empire had hardly helped matters. Everything looked shabbier and less well maintained than he remembered from his brief visit during his time with the SIS.

“Want me to drive?” Theron asked Seren as they surveyed the ‘ruggedised’ speeder, wait, was that… tape?

“What are you saying?” Seren asked him, a brief flash of humour in her brown eyes.

Theron smiled at her, more relieved than he could say that she’d reacted in something approximating her usual way to their ongoing joke that she crashed or otherwise destroyed all the vehicles she drove. Again he wanted to kiss her, but there were techs working at the other side of the hangar, he couldn't risk it.

They put their goggles on, not a centimetre of skin now exposed. Theron sat on the speeder, trying to get a feel for the controls before they set off. Seren hopped on behind him, and ignoring the grab handle behind her, put her arms around his waist, linking her hands around her wrists firmly. That would cause some comment among the techs if they noticed, but possibly fell under plausible deniability. He said nothing, enjoying the feeling of her pressed against him, even through their heavy clothes.

Starting the speeder, Theron realised something was off straight away, and he almost took them back into the hangar immediately to insist that the techs service the vehicle then and there. But then he remembered that something about Hoth was making Seren deeply unhappy, she clearly wanted to get their various recruitment missions here over with as quickly as possible so they could leave. He reasoned that as a seasoned speeder pilot he could make adjustments for the engine’s spotty power, the unbalanced thrusters. He’d done it before, many times.

About halfway to their destination, Outpost Cresh, Theron knew he’d made a catastrophic error of judgement. The speeder was in such a poor state, the weather so challenging, even for Hoth, that he was struggling to keep the thing in the air, its nose constantly down trying to ditch them into the snow. He couldn’t communicate with Seren because of the howling wind and the need to use every bit of concentration he had to prevent them from crashing.

Theron was so focussed on the failing engine that he was caught completely unprepared when one of the thrusters cut out without warning, and the speeder was thrown into an unrecoverable spin. Thanking the stars that at least they’d been a decent height from the ground when it happened, he reached behind himself for Seren’s waist and pulled them both off the speeder. As they fell he heard the explosion as the speeder hit a rock-hard wall of ice.

Seren sat up, disoriented; the height they’d fallen from had pushed her down into the snow, and a light covering of it now coated her. She wiped her goggles and carefully stood without touching the snow walls around her, aware she could pull them in on herself. She hadn’t gone that deep she realised, feeling thankful; she could see over the top of the indentation she’d made now she was standing up. Where was Theron?

Embarrassed, she realised that she’d been waiting there, expecting him to help her out of the hole, like she was some sort of helpless damsel. She was a Jedi! It was just that she’d got so used to him being there over the past year. She crouched, and leapt easily out of the hole, landing gracefully a few metres away. She looked around again from her new perspective, breath steaming in the frigid air. She could see a crumpled mound of… Theron? Why was he just lying there? Like… She stopped breathing as she saw the bright red blood on the snow.

Eight Years Earlier

Hoth. Seren glanced around disinterestedly. It was cold, she supposed, but that wasn’t important. What was important was that she and Leeha Narezz find the technical readouts for the Emperor’s cloaked fortress in one of the many crashed starships on this frozen planet. She had to push her doubts about Tol Braga’s overall plan down, or ideally away. She was a Jedi Knight, and that was all she had now, that was all she’d ever have. She had to focus, to commit to the Jedi Master’s plan, and that was what she was here to do.

Doc was on the planet with her, having literally drawn the short straw given the unpopularity of this posting. That decision had been made before their brief but catastrophic sojourn on Nar Shaddaa however, and Kira had subsequently offered to accompany her instead, given what had happened with Doc on the Hutt planet. Seren had considered it, but then shaken her head.

“No Kira, thank you though. But either Doc is a part of the crew or he isn’t, and…” she’d shrugged, trailing off.

“Sure.” said Kira, “But have you given any thought to the idea that perhaps he isn’t?”

Seren had shrugged again. “That would be the emotional response Kira, and I’m a Jedi. He’s a good Doctor. The sensible thing to do is to keep him as part of the crew.”

Kira had nodded, gritting her teeth. If she had to hear one more time that Seren was a Jedi, or that she wasn’t basing any decisions on emotion, she was going to scream!

Kira hadn’t liked Theron, what little time they’d spent together, and she certainly hadn’t approved of Seren’s relationship with him, but she was starting to admit to herself that Seren had been happier when she was with him. Since Nar Shaddaa when it seemed that Doc had screwed up any chance that they might have had to reconcile, Seren had been… Well, Kira would have been happier if Seren had been angry, upset, anything. But since that first night when she’d cried in her arms, there’d been no emotion, nothing, it was like Seren had gone, leaving a typical Jedi in her place. Kira couldn’t stand it.

Unbeknownst to either Kira or Seren, Doc was also starting to regret the events on Nar Shaddaa. He’d just been trying to get one over on a rival, mark his territory as it were! He and Seren had been having fun in the weeks previously, and now it seemed like his sexy Jedi friend was gone, broken. Here on Hoth, she hadn’t responded to any of his jokes, any of his flirtatious comments, not even to get annoyed with him. Nothing. She just seemed to have a laser focus on their mission, going after these plans like nothing else mattered. Her face was expressionless, her eyes blank. He hated it.

Doc thought back to how they’d started hooking up in the first place. Once he’d found out from that SIS guy on Quesh, Meldo, that Seren wasn’t the perfect virginal Jedi he’d thought she was, that this guy’s friend was actually her ex, Doc had stepped up his flirtation another few notches, and eventually just propositioned her, telling her they were wasting time putting off the inevitable. Slightly to his surprise she’d agreed, and they’d had sex several times since then, always at his suggestion. He’d liked that she didn’t seem to be getting attached to him, clingy; it had still felt fresh, fun, weeks later.

Nar Shaddaa was one of Doc’s favourite places, and once Seren had helped out Kira and her cute twi’lek friend, Vette, Doc had suggested a night out, just the two of them. He’d bought her a tiny, stretchy black mini dress and shiny black heels; partially as a disguise, and partially as it was the sort of thing he liked seeing on women. She’d laughed when he showed her, but agreed to wear the outfit, and to the night out.

He’d always been intending to ply her with drinks, get her to relax a bit for once, but for some reason he didn’t even need to persuade her; she was knocking back the shots and cocktails almost faster than he could buy them, and if it wasn’t for her super strong Jedi constitution, he would have been starting to get concerned that she’d be too drunk for sex at the end of the night.

She was pretty drunk though, which was probably why he spotted that they were being followed and she didn’t. Doc had been in some pretty hairy situations, not all of them even of his own making, and he knew how to handle himself. He put his arm around Seren, and looked around, using the reflections in shop windows to try and spot their tail. It took a while, the person was good, but Doc got lucky when a drunken passerby shoved the guy out of his way with a shoulder, pushing him out into the open for a second. Doc got a good look at him, and he had to force himself not to react when he did so. It was that guy Shan, Seren’s ex!

Obviously Doc had snuck into her quarters when she’d been doing some sort of Jedi nonsense with Kira a couple of weeks ago, I mean who wouldn’t? He thought to himself. He’d been looking for evidence of this guy, a diary maybe, but he’d been shocked to see two framed holos of them together, right there where anyone could see them! He picked them up one by one and studied them. Seren looked great in one of them, that green dress was definitely not to his taste, but her hair and makeup were spot on. Shan looked, well, ok, he guessed. Ugly cranial implants, stupid hair, but otherwise ok. Nothing special. No competition.

But now he was following them? What the hells? Who did that? You break up, you move on, thought Doc. Why did he even care what Seren was up to these days? Fine, if he wants a show, I’ll give him a show! Doc decided, and slid his hand down from Seren’s shoulders to her barely covered butt, squeezing it. She laughed, and did nothing to stop him, so feeling encouraged, Doc kissed her deeply, his tongue in her mouth, both hands now cupping her butt cheeks through the thin fabric of her dress. He was enjoying himself, but he was mostly hoping that their stalker was watching, and that he would take the hint.

When Theron had first caught sight of Seren having followed a tip off from one of his many dubious sources on Nar Shaddaa, he’d stopped dead, shocked, and almost lost her, lost them. Because she was with a man, a smarmy player of a man, way too old for her, with his boring hair, his moustache, who had a moustache? His too tight pants, his self satisfied swagger. What the hells was she thinking? And what was she wearing? Seren never wore black, it probably reminds her of the Sith he thought. That cheap dress, those painful looking heels; that man has her dressed up like some kind of sex doll, Theron thought, outraged. What if… what if she didn’t want to be there with him, what if he was coercing her somehow? She needs me, Theron told himself, hurrying to catch up as they moved towards the next sleazy bar.

Theron waited opposite the cantina for Seren and that man to emerge. It was torture, not being able to see what she was doing, what he was doing, but this place was tiny, he’d definitely be spotted if he went in, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to approach the situation yet. He needed more information first. Was Seren being coerced, was she in danger, or was she there as part of some sort of mission, gathering information? If this guy was a mark, he didn’t want to mess things up for her, but at the same time he wanted to be there for when she’d inevitably need backup.

Eventually they emerged, Seren clinging to that man’s waist, Theron noted, gritting his teeth. She seemed unsteady on her feet, was it those stupid shoes or had he drugged her? He sped up, and he saw the man pause, put his arm around Seren and look around, nowhere near as subtle as he probably thought he was, but Theron was cursing himself, he’d been sloppy, careless, he’d almost been spotted! As they set off again, he realised that the man was using the reflections in windows to look for him. He backed off, the guy clearly had some sort of training or experience. Theron was even more worried for Seren now, did she know what she was dealing with?

The drunk came out of nowhere, his massive flailing arm punting Theron right into the middle of the street for a split second before he recovered and ducked behind another couple, hiding in the crowd. Had the man Seren was with spotted him? He left it a few seconds before he cautiously moved forward, trying to spot them again. When he did so Theron stopped in the street, staring, no longer trying to stay concealed. The man was kissing his Seren, his tongue was down her throat, his hands were on her butt, and almost worst of all, Seren’s arms were around his waist, as if she wasn’t trying to get away, as if she was actually enjoying it. There was a sharp pain in Theron’s abdomen and his vision was blurring.

The man broke off his kiss with Seren and looked around, his eyes sliding past Theron’s; perhaps he hadn’t been spotted after all? Theron couldn’t decide what to do. What if Seren wasn’t on some sort of mission where she’d need his help, what if she wasn’t being coerced? What if… what if I’m just stalking my ex like some sort of creepy loser? Theron had almost made up his mind to leave, to go back to his bunk at the SIS listening post and sleep it off, or more likely drink it off, when the man reached down and grabbed Seren’s wrist and pulled her. Rage exploded in Theron’s mind, how dare he?

Suddenly the crowd swelled around them, bolstered by a cantina throwing most of their patrons out into the street for brawling. Theron almost lost sight of Seren and that dangerous man, until he spotted him pulling Seren into a dark alley on the opposite side of the square. Theron panicked, pushing bystanders out of his way to try and get to them before he hurt her, even so, it took him a good five minutes to get through the rowdy, drunken, brawling crowd to the alleyway. A broken neon sign was flickering on and off at the alley’s entrance, providing an intermittent source of light. Theron didn’t need it though, switching his implants to their night vision setting with a thought. He stepped into the alleyway.

Theron had thought he’d seen the worst sight he could imagine when he’d seen his Seren seemingly enjoying kissing another man, but this was, this was… He could barely even form a thought. Seren’s skirt was up around her waist, the top of her dress was pulled down exposing her breasts. The man was kissing and licking them as he fucked her, as this sleaze fucked his Seren against the dirty wall of the alley. Her legs were wrapped around his waist and she was urging him on breathlessly, calling him Doc. Was she fucking her doctor? This, this, was now definitively the worst moment of Theron’s life.

Hardly able to breathe, feeling physically sick, Theron turned to leave the alleyway, stumbling slightly as he did so, his legs shaking. As he reached the blinking neon at the entrance, he heard a soft, “Theron?” It was Seren, her voice unsure, she obviously couldn’t see him in the darkness of the alley without the benefit of implants like his, she must have sensed him with the Force he supposed. He almost just kept walking, he should have just kept walking, but he turned around. Seren had pulled her dress back into place so it covered her, and her hands were reaching out for him blindly, she knew he was there, just not exactly where. Against his will, he took another step towards her. Her face looked distraught, didn’t it?

‘Doc’ appeared behind her, putting his hands around her waist from behind. “Where're you going, gorgeous?” he asked her.

Seren shook him off impatiently and stepped further towards Theron. “Theron?” She called again. She blinked, trying to adjust her eyesight to the darkness so she could find him, but the flashing neon made it impossible, blinding her.

Theron gritted his teeth, how dare she speak to him like that, so softly, so entreatingly, like she loved him, with that look on her face, so hopeful, so sweet, when he’d just seen… when she’d just been… Theron swallowed, trying desperately not to throw up.

Just as Seren finally got near him the neon blinked on again and she saw him standing there, and ran to him.

“Theron, I…” she started.

“FUCK YOU!” he shouted into her face from centimetres away, his own face twisted with rage.

Seren froze and stepped back, drawing in a shocked, shuddering breath. I was afraid of him, she remembered, when he found out I was Sith, he was so angry, I was afraid. She had forgotten why in the intervening months, but now she remembered. But then she heard Theron draw in his own shuddering breath, and as the neon flickered back on she saw his eyes were full of tears.

“You broke my heart.” he told her more quietly, “You broke my heart.” Theron’s voice broke on that final word.

Seren felt her own heart break again in response. He’d broken hers first when he’d accused her of being a Sith plant back on Alderaan, when she realised that he didn’t really know her at all, and now she’d broken his in return. It was over, Seren realised, it was really over. They may have broken up on Alderaan months previously, but she’d really believed that they would find their way back to each other eventually.

“Theron…” Seren almost whispered his name into the darkness, hoping that she was wrong, hoping he was still there, but when the neon flickered back on she saw he was gone. He was gone. She would never see him again; she knew he had the skills and resources to make sure of that.

“THERON!” she screamed, losing control of her emotions and the Force for the first time since that other awful time on Nar Shaddaa four years previously; the time she decided she was no longer Sith, would never be Sith again. The neon sign burst in a spectacular shower of sparks and went dark for the last time. Seren sat on the ground in the filthy alleyway and wept, Doc hovering uncertainly a couple of metres away looking up in trepidation at the smoking sign.

The Present Day

“THERON!” Seren screamed his name, but he didn’t stir, didn’t sit up and tell her to stop screaming, that he was fine. He was always fine.

She tried to run to him, slipping and floundering through the chest-deep powdery snow. She knew how to walk on snow; how to preserve the surface, how to conserve precious energy, and this definitely wasn’t it, but she couldn’t, she couldn’t just walk calmly towards him, towards the blood she could see pooled around his… his head.

She collapsed down next to Theron having used way too much energy getting to him. She reached out a shaking hand towards the horrible gash on his right temple. It was still bleeding, he was alive, thank the Force, and as she grabbed a kolto pack from her parka and pressed it firmly against the wound he groaned and opened his eyes.

“Sorry.” he told Seren, “I knew that speeder was no good.”

Seren nodded and sniffed. Her eyes were full of tears, steaming up her goggles, but she was trying her best to stay calm. She never usually struggled to do so unless Theron was in danger, Theron was injured. Attachments. Love. Pain. Master Orgus would be so disappointed in her.

She realised Theron was trying to sit up, and she helped him to do so, knowing it would slow the bleeding. Belatedly, she noticed that his right palm was bleeding too, more sluggishly than his head, but it still looked painful.

“Piece of metal broke off the speeder.” He told Seren, “I’m an idiot, I pulled it out.”

Seren gave him another kolto pack to hold in his right hand to heal his palm, pushing it through the corresponding hole in his glove.

“You’re not an idiot, but yeah, that wasn’t the best idea.” she told Theron shakily, pulling her gaiter down briefly to kiss him.

The bleeding at his temple had almost stopped, so she carefully pulled his hood back on. The wind was still howling, it was still bitterly cold, and they had to find shelter if they were going to survive until rescue came.

Theron was inevitably already looking at his datapad, grumbling to himself as the thick gloves made his fingers clumsy on the screen.

“Here!” He showed her a topographic map he’d pulled up, “These lumps, they’re not natural. I think they’re old abandoned buildings or shelters, and they’re only a few hundred metres away.”

Seren looked at the map. “I think you’re right Theron, nice work!”

She was trying to be encouraging, but she still felt sick with worry. In good conditions a few hundred metres was nothing, but the wind was blowing the snow almost horizontally at them from the direction Theron had indicated; the snow they’d need to traverse was at least as deep as they were tall; and then they’d have to dig out a shelter.

“Sweetheart, we’ll be fine.” Theron told her, he knew exactly what she’d be thinking. He squeezed her hands with his uninjured one.

“Sorry.” She told him. “I just… struggle when you’re injured.”

“I know. And I get it.” And he did, sometimes Theron still had dreams where he saw Arcann stab Seren with his lightsabre, saw her fall backwards, a glowing hole right through her torso, he’d thought she was dead for the few seconds until she’d moved. He took a deep breath; enough of that thought.

They pushed through the snow with agonising slowness, taking it in turns to take the lead, absorbing the brunt of the wind and the drag of the snow underfoot so the other could rest. Eventually, after what seemed like days, but was probably less than two hours, they made it to the bumps that Theron had spotted on the map. He was right, they were far too regular to be natural. They just had to hope that they were shelters or buildings, something they could get inside rather than solid structures.

Seren had some experience with the half-spherical shelters typically used on Hoth. She’d rescued Republic soldiers from them herself, and cleared pirates out of others.

“Ok,” she started, “If these are what I think they are, there should be doors reaching up to around your head height, with kind of rounded tops. There might even be some kind of generator in the middle of this group of four huts. We might be able to get it started again if so?” she suggested hopefully.

“Great!” said Theron. They were both carrying basic cold weather survival gear, including temporary power packs, heat packs, flares, and spades. “Let’s get digging!” he said with what sounded to Seren like forced cheerfulness, as he wielded his spade.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Uh huh,” she said, “Let me check your wound first.” She stepped towards him.

“No need!” He stepped back, trying to stay out of her reach, but she grabbed him by his parka and started to peel back his hood, being greeted by a fresh rush of blood.

“Theron! You knew it was bleeding again, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t want to worry you.” He said sheepishly.

“Sit down! Stay still! Kolto!” Seren ordered him, angry that, as usual, he was being completely blasé about his own well-being.

Theron sat holding another kolto pack against his temple with his right hand, two birds with one stone! He hated to watch Seren work without helping her, but he knew she was more than strong enough to do it alone. She dug away the snow where she thought the door would be, and turned to smile triumphantly at Theron when she was only a few centimetres out. He gave her a thumbs up with his good hand, starting to feel less light headed now that the second lot of kolto was doing its job.

Seren eventually got the whole door uncovered, took a deep breath, and pulled at it. To her relief it came open easily; the thick coating of snow had kept it insulated, stopped it from icing up.

She and Theron scrambled inside and pushed the door shut, leaving just a crack for light until they could find another source. They immediately felt warm, the lack of wind and driving snow giving the illusion of a comfortable temperature inside. It wasn't, of course, and they knew that now they’d stopped moving the sweat on their bodies would start to dry and evaporate, cooling them dangerously.

At Seren’s nod of approval, Theron switched on one of their precious power packs, providing enough light to see the interior of the shelter. They looked around. There were camp beds, so they wouldn’t have to sit or lie on the floor; that would help with staying warm. Low shelves stood against the curved wall, and they crouched to investigate their contents. Ration packs, years out of date, bits of some sort of broken machinery, better spades, and yes! A tool box! Prying it open, they discovered a hydrospanner and other essential tools, enough to repair a generator, if there was one still in situ.

Theron stood up, “Right, you said it should be in the centre of this group of four shelters?”

“Yes, Theron, but you should rest here, I’ll go out and…” Seren stopped speaking as Theron laughed.

“Much as I’d love to watch you try to repair a generator, I think this is more my area of expertise, don’t you?” He suggested.

Seren huffed. “I’ll have you know, Theron Shan, that among the Jedi, I’m considered very technically competent!”

Theron just laughed even harder, somehow that hadn’t been the winning argument Seren had hoped for.

Seren rolled her eyes. “Ok fine, you can repair it, but I’m going out first to dig it out of the snow!” She grabbed a spade and stomped outside before he could object any further.

She returned less than a minute later.

“No luck finding it?” Theron asked her, worried that they’d have to cobble together another source of heat.

“Er no, I mean yes, it’s uncovered. You’re good to go.” She looked slightly shifty.

“Seren, did you just use the Force as a snow blower?”

She shrugged guiltily, “You’re injured, it’s valid.”

Theron laughed, and hugged her. “I love you.” he told Seren. Suddenly she was clinging to him again desperately, like she had earlier on his shuttle and in the corridor at Republic HQ. “Hey,” he said gently, “and when I’m done, we’re going to talk about whatever is going on with you right now.” He squeezed her and let go. “I love you.” he told her again, just to be sure she knew.

“I love you.” Seren replied, her voice wobbly and her eyes full of tears. She couldn’t bear to let him out of her sight, thinking of pirates, or stars forbid, of wampas, so she went outside to watch him. She somehow ended up standing between him and the direction the snow was blowing from, shielding his face from it with her back, and a tiny bit of the Force. With his goggles on and hood up she couldn’t see the expression on his face; he just shook his head at her, but got on with repairing the generator.

After not too long they heard it whir into life, the warmth it was creating immediately starting to melt the snow on the trunking snaking between the shelters. They gave each other a thumbs up and pushed through the snow the final few metres back to their shelter.

Back in the shelter, the lights and heating were on, and the temptation was to just fall into the camp beds as they were and sleep. They were both exhausted. They both knew enough about cold weather survival to know that that would be a bad idea however. There was a large metal basin on the surface of the heater, too rusty now to make safe drinking water, but fine for heating water to wash in. Before Seren could object, Theron grabbed it and stepped outside to fill it with snow. Back inside, he pushed the door shut and put the basin on the heater to melt the snow.

As the resulting water warmed, they stripped off their layers of sweat and snow soaked clothing, hanging their parkas and outer clothes to dry from ceiling hooks probably there for that purpose. They got fresh thermals out of their packs and put them near the heater to warm, then took deep breaths and stripped off their sweaty inner layers, standing there naked and shivering in each other's arms, waiting for the water to warm as they rubbed each other’s skin, trying to generate some heat through friction.

“Er, just so you know, I’m er, really cold right now.” Theron said suddenly.

Seren looked at him puzzled, “I know, so am I.” she reminded him. She thought about it. “Wait… are you concerned about the size of your dick?” Seren was already laughing.

Theron nodded, shamefaced.

“Theron, I… I don’t know what to say… You’re such a man.”

“Yeah?” he said suggestively, “I thought you liked that about me?”

Still laughing, Seren said, “Theron, we’re filthy, freezing cold, dehydrated, you have a head injury. I am not thinking about sex right now!”

“Sure, but you’ve gotta admit that that’s pretty unusual for you, right?” Theron teased her with a suggestive smirk.

Suddenly, Seren stopped laughing. She looked almost distraught, Theron thought.

“What is it, Seren? Sweetheart, what did I say?” he asked her, bewildered.

“Nothing, Theron, nothing. This is my problem, not yours.” Seren said firmly. “The water’s warm now, come on.”

They washed the clammy, salty, sweat from their bodies so it couldn’t cause a rash that could get infected. Theron watched Seren from the corner of his eye, he wanted to wash her, he wanted them to wash each other. Ok, now was not necessarily the time for sex, she had a point, but usually they took every opportunity to enjoy each other’s bodies, even if it wasn’t going to lead anywhere right that moment.

“Can I wash your back?” he asked her tentatively.

She smiled at him, “Of course, Theron, thank you.”

He gently sponged her clean with the warm water, then placed a chaste kiss on her shoulder, before turning so she could return the favour. When they were done they dried themselves quickly before the water had chance to evaporate from their skin, and then, to Theron’s slight regret, they dressed in the fresh layer of thermals. The camp beds were not at all appealing, so they pushed a couple together, then covered them with layers of their own silicone sleeping mats, unzipped sleeping bags and blankets before lying down together, Seren’s head on Theron’s shoulder, and pulling another sleeping bag over them.

“How’s your head?” Seren asked Theron.

He opened his mouth.

“And before you consider lying to me to stop me worrying… don’t!” Seren interjected.

“Fine. It’s painful, and I have a horrible headache behind my eyes. And my hand hurts.” He added for good measure.

“There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Seren kissed Theron’s jaw as she spoke, and he could feel her smiling.

“Mmm about as hard as it apparently is for you to tell me what’s wrong with you; what’s been wrong since we set off for Hoth?” He replied.

Seren sighed, and rolled away from him, but didn’t object when he rolled onto his side behind her and kissed her shoulder again, his hand stroking her side through her silky thermals.

“Theron, this is the last thing you want to talk about, believe me.” she told him. “I’ll be fine. You’re right, Hoth is hard for me, but I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine when we get home to Odessen. I’ll be fine.”

Theron kissed her neck. “Uh huh. Are you sure you don’t want to tell me that you’ll be fine one more time?”

Seren said nothing, but grabbed his uninjured hand and held it. They were silent for quite a while, Theron didn’t want to push her too hard.

“Sometimes I still wish I didn’t like sex quite so much.” Seren eventually said, quietly.

Theron frowned, thinking, he remembered what she’d said earlier; Theron, this is the last thing you want to talk about, believe me. Did… did she mean? Theron’s stomach dropped, and he froze. After a second he carefully shifted back, away from her, and lifted his hand from her waist. She was still holding his other hand, and it seemed rude to snatch it away from her, so he left it there.

He swallowed, choosing his words carefully. “I guess you mean that… well, that you regret us, meeting on The Esseles, hooking up. That’s when you stopped being a… proper Jedi I suppose.”

As he spoke Seren had rolled over to look at him, almost looking like she’d spun round, she moved so fast. Her mouth was open in shock, and she looked almost outraged, Theron thought, before her face suddenly softened as she looked at him, and to his surprise she took his face in her hands and kissed him.

“Theron, I love you.” she told him, sounding exasperated.

“Yeah, I know. I mean I believe you, but that doesn’t mean you don’t regret starting things up with me in the first place. And I… listen, you don’t have to feel an obligation towards me now, just because I, well, I waited for you, that was my choice and…”

“Theron, stop! Please.” Seren was considering kissing him again just to stop this irrational stream of consciousness. “Is this the head injury? What are you even talking about?”

“You said this was the last thing I’d want to talk about.” Theron reminded her.

“Yes, but this definitely isn’t what I meant!” She kissed him again, but briefly, she really wanted to reassure him.

“Theron, I’m going to be really clear about this. And please let me finish. I don’t regret meeting you, I don’t regret having sex with you, any of the times, just to clarify further, and I don’t want to be a ‘proper Jedi’. I want you. And honestly, I’m kind of annoyed about this, because how many more times do I have to prove that to you?”

Theron grabbed her and pulled her onto his chest, clutching her to him like he’d never let her go. She thought she heard him mutter, “Thank the Stars!”

Seren kissed his neck, then wriggled upwards in his arms and kissed his jaw, then as his hands finally loosened, his mouth. “Ok, now we’re finally back on the same page… wait, your hand! Theron!”

Theron looked at his right hand. “It’s only bleeding a little bit.” He told Seren.

She sighed in resignation. He was impossible!

“So listen, that was the last thing I wanted to think about, and um it turned out not to be that, so what is it?” Theron asked her.

Seren bit her lip. He hated talking about that time in their lives, but if she didn’t tell him what was upsetting her, he was just going to keep catastrophising further and further, she could see that now.

“Theron… what I said about regretting liking sex, it wasn’t about you.”

“No, I get that now, that’s good.” Theron frowned, and then said slowly, “Wait… you, you, had sex with somebody else?”

Seren felt like screaming, he was so infuriating! “Not while we were together, Theron, obviously.”

“Right! Of course not, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking!”

Theron at least had the grace to look ashamed of himself for that one, Seren thought.

Seren sighed again, she just needed to spit it out before Theron somehow thought of something even worse.

“Theron, the reason I hate Hoth, is because, well it’s because I first came here straight after we’d seen each other that time. That time on Nar Shaddaa.” She swallowed, looking at his face. “I didn’t want to tell you because, well, I know that every time we talk about this, you get that mental image in your head, and… and you’re getting it right now, aren’t you?” Seren’s voice rose in distress.

It was Theron’s turn to sigh. “I am, Seren, yeah. But that’s my problem. I probably should have tried some therapy or something at the time rather than attempting to drown it with whisky.”

Seren’s eyes were full of tears. “I’m so sorry Theron, I’m so sorry.”

“Seren, stop apologising!” Theron told her. “I thought we’d dealt with this years ago back on Carrick Station! I followed you, I basically stalked you, I was toxic and jealous, and we’d broken up, you did nothing wrong!”

“Yes, but my point is; if I hadn’t had sex with Doc that night, maybe things wouldn’t have been so awful! I thought… I always thought after we’d broken up on Alderaan that we’d get back together one day. I was counting on it! And then that possibility was just gone. It was gone. I knew I’d never see you again.”

“Seren, sweetheart. Please.” Seren was crying desperately now, and Theron was getting seriously concerned about her. “We did get back together, we are together, and I’m here with you now, I’m right here.”

Seren didn’t acknowledge his words, she just looked down and said, “I know I broke your heart Theron, and I’ll never forgive myself for that, but I broke my own heart too. My heart was broken when I was last here on Hoth.”

Theron swallowed. He knew how she felt, of course he did. He remembered thinking that this was it, that he’d lost her forever when he’d screamed in her face, when he’d scared her. It had been the worst time in his life, had been, until Marr’s flagship, until he’d had to spend two years of what could only loosely be called his life thinking she was dead.

Seren continued, “I was in so much pain, that I just had to cut myself off from my emotions. I just felt so frozen within myself that I didn’t even feel the cold here. I didn’t remember Hoth being this cold.”

“I, yeah.” Theron finally spoke, his voice breaking slightly as he did so. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I get it, I do. I felt the same after that… after that situation. I don’t think I spent more than a few hours sober over the whole next few months if I’m honest.”

Seren buried her face in his neck. “Sometimes I wondered what would happen if I lost control of my speeder, and it crashed into a cliff.” she whispered. “Or if my foot just somehow slipped, and I fell into a crevasse.”

Horror washed over Theron in a wave, and he felt his blood run cold in its wake. He’d always believed that he was the only one that had ever had thoughts like that; that she was too sensible, too intelligent, too emotionally mature to ever even think that… that she didn’t want to be here without him.

“Seren, I will… I will never leave you, no matter what, I’ll never let you feel like that again, I promise… I’ll do anything, anything, to make you happy, to keep you safe. I…”

He was babbling, panicking, and Seren suddenly thought about how she’d feel if he told her something similar. She stroked his face, trying to reassure him, “I know, Theron, I know. And they were just thoughts, just temporary thoughts, I didn’t act on them obviously, never seriously intended to act on them. I’m still here. And I know you’re here with me now, I know we did get back together, it did work out for us.”

She swallowed and said, “But sometimes I just wish… I wish that I’d seen you following us, not Doc, that I’d turned back to speak to you, confront you.” She shrugged, “I know we’d have yelled at each other, but it wouldn’t have been as awful as what did happen, maybe we would even have got back together as a result?”

“Doc did see me?” Theron asked her after a moment. “And he knew who I was? How?”

“Holos of you in my quarters. He snuck in to have a look around while I was on Tython with Kira. I found all this out a lot later of course.”

Theron was silent for a moment, considering.

“That whole… scene was planned, wasn’t it? For me to see?” he eventually asked through gritted teeth.

“Yes. Or at least I think so.” Seren said. “Doc never really admitted it, but I do think that he intended for you to see. He was marking his territory I guess.”

Theron clenched his fists, making his right hand bleed again.

“If I ever see that man again, I’ll… I swear that I won’t be responsible for my actions.” He ground out.

“Theron, please be careful of your hand.” Seren hopped out of bed to grab more kolto, before pressing it gently into Theron’s palm.

She fetched one of their precious bottles of drinking water and handed it to Theron, insisting that he drank, then drank some herself. She frowned, “Is it just me, or is it getting properly warm in here?” she asked Theron.

“Yeah I think you’re right actually.” he replied, “I’d forgotten what warmth felt like.”

Seren nodded. “Shall I turn the heater down, or should we take our thermals off?”

Theron had a suggestive little smile on his face as he said, “Hold on, let me just think about that one for a second…” He pulled her down onto the camp bed with him and started to speed up the process.

The next morning, the Republic troops there to rescue them pulled the door of their shelter open only to be greeted by the sight of a very naked former Jedi sprawled across the chest of an equally naked former SIS Agent, their legs entangled, contented half-smiles on their sleeping faces, the sleeping bag kicked off onto the floor. The young Lieutenant in charge of the rescue froze in place, his face bright red, nothing in his training had prepared him for this.

“M… Master Jedi?” he tried.

Waking up, Seren sat up without thinking, treating the Lieutenant and the first few troops with him to an even better view.

“Um, shit.” She greeted him.

The Lieutenant could feel a couple of his men actually trying to jostle him out of the way to get a closer look at her themselves, and he angrily ordered them back. By this point the Jedi’s, well, partner, had woken too, and was trying to hide her behind his own body, which was in fact much more to the Lieutenant’s taste than the Jedi’s.

He shook his head. He was here to do a job, an important job! “We’re here to rescue you!” He announced proudly. Behind him in the snow two of his men had started a scuffle over who got to take the Jedi on their speeder.

“That’s great.” Theron growled. “Could you get the hells out and let us get dressed?”

The Lieutenant squeaked something that might have been an apology and pulled the door shut.

Seren put her head in her hands. “So much for plausible deniability!” she said.

#swtor #fanfic #theron shan #swtor jedi knight #angst #hurt/comfort #inappropriate use of the force (but not how you're thinking)#for once theron is the emotionally mature one #sorry about the character assassination of doc #I know he's nowhere near as bad as I write him #it was insanely hot here when I wrote this and I wanted to write about the cold #hence hoth

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