#In which we really get a glimpse into the nasty of how Siru is feeling to be drawn to Pesticingers company

[grokebaby]

One night, Siru isn't quite feeling it. This one night she didn't sleep well enough, before Pesticinger summoned her from her home, flew her out to the distant woods, and had her vivisect a bird. She was going along with it - what else would she do.

But really.

She does these gross out rituals for it. She finds and brings her items. She trains her voice sore during their little band practice.

I know I got into this basically out of boredom and an inescapable need to numb the pain - Siru thinks. But really, what's in it for me. What is the follower of the plague supposed to get from this.

"When are you giving me something?" she asks, bluntly. The bird perks, tilting her head stupidly. "What am I doing this all For? What should I be getting out of this? What are you supposed to give me in return?" Siru elaborates, giving Pesticinger a bunch more words than the first sentence. It coos thoughtfully, not really saying much.

The knife Siru always uses is still in her hand.

Her black patterns start spreading, turning her a night-dark color, as a pulse of rage flows through her. She yells at Pesticinger. She curses out her life. It's alot of anger and not alot of blame that Pesticinger really deserves. Siru knows this, but fuck if she isn't good at keeping everything in until she explodes at her loved ones.

Not counting the plague as a loved one, of course, but the point still stands. The bird tries to give her words in return for hers - Siru rarely talks this much at once! Pesticinger feels it fair to give her many words in exchange. But Siru doesn't listen to it, for once. Now she's the one talking.

Unfortunately so, because whenever she says too much, she ends up regretting alot of it. That's why she doesn't talk much. She either says bad things, or worthless things.

Siru growls, and tosses the knife at Pesticinger, scaring it off. The plague takes flight, and in a heavy gust of air, she disappears into the night.

.. Great. Another interpersonal relationship wasted. She already feels guilty.

Is she really mad at Pesticinger, or is she just tired? Does she really want something out of the plague, or does she just wish she was better. Wish she didn't need the company of a monster. Wish she felt like remotely good company to said monster.

She walks home. It's very early when she gets there, and her mother is leaving for work. She's worried, and Siru says nothing to her. Nan dutifully helps her to bed. Knowing her concerns won't be answered. Siru hates herself for it. But she'd ruin even more things by telling her mother everything.

I can't believe it - she thinks. Did I really scare off A Plague? What kind of monster must I be?

Well. At least I won't have to spend nights up doing horrors anymore..

She sleeps until the next midnight.

She wakes up abruptly to the sound of something on her window. She jolts up, praying to the mistress her mom doesn't hear it. She follows the sound outside, all the way to the edges of the village. Pesticinger stands there with a bag in her beak. Siru is.. A bit shocked, to see her again.

"Listen, I'm.. I'm sorry, I just.. I feel like nobody really.. Nevermind.." Siru starts, but draws back. Pesticinger drops the bag, and with vigorous head bobs, urges her to speak more. "I listen, yes! I'm listening. Listening now!" she sings, taking a few hops towards Siru. She's.. Taken aback by this. "You feel like nobody listens to you? Do they only take never give? Is that why you're angered like this? You feel so worthless I know, this is what you said to me, but now you should say more. Say say! I listen. I don't hear you speak much. Speak more!" it continues, it's tone urgent and cautious - and maybe, just maybe.. Apologetic?

"What's.. In that bag?" Siru asks, instead.

Pesticinger blinks. "For you! Bag for you! It's givings to you, things for you, for you!" it repeats and blabbers, nudging the bag towards Siru with it's beak vigorously. It jostles to her feet, and Siru.. Still, taken aback, picks it up.

She looks inside, firstly finding the knife she threw earlier - realizing she left it there in the woods. She looks more, finding scarves. They're of fancy material and knit, with patterns, and tussles on some of them.

Oh.. Because she knows I.. Wear head scarfs.

She finds more. There's bones unclear in origin. There's instruments. Mostly flutes and other carriables. There's claws and talons. More sharp weapons. She can easily extrapolate why Pesticinger, a little bird fond of pillaging humans, would pick all these out for her.

Except...

The tie.

"Is this.. Like.. For me to wear? Dressing business casual?" Siru asks the plague. Really, it doesn't look like anything the humans from this realm would wear. It looks.. Futuristic to her. It's beyond fancy too, and made with materials she doesn't immediately recognise her villagers to have.

"If you want, you can wear it! Very stylish, Siru always stylish!" Pesticinger currs in flatteration. But it's not an explanation.

"Where.. Did you get this? Did it.. Belong to someone?"

"Sparrow's other chickling!"

Siru freezes.

"You.. Took this from.. Lassi?"

Pesticinger nods.