#In the end all girls are like Rose Brides: Character Study

[siilkthreads]

Tag Dump: Salenna Rose

[urlovebrini]

arranged marriage with alhaitham

⋆❀ — includes: alhaitham x fem! reader

⋆❀ — content: arranged marriage, alhaitham is bad at feelings, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, little miscommunication, you are a sunshine, he calls you nymph, little age gap, alhaitham is like 27 and you are like 20/21 its not mentioned in the writing but he calls you little, sfw but there will be a second part with the nsfw, i love arranged marriage i can't help myself, maybe little occ alhaitam at the end but his in love, smirking alhaitham is in my mind all the time

⋆❀ — a/n: hello sorry for the disappearance, but you know life happens, i don't promise that i will be so active, but will try to write more things. i tried not to go into the story too much, especially in the beginning and get to the good part of the drama, angst and romance, tell me what you think, if you like it maybe I'll think about enlarging it on ao3, i will do a follow up with the nsfw and this is a part of a serie so next character is ayato.

⋆❀ — arranged marries series: ayato | tartaglia | diluc

⋆❀˖°·࿐ ࿔ alhaitham

he knew about arranged marriages, in reality, they were pretty common in sumeru society, when the grand majority of people were putting all their minds and time into the endless pursuit of knowledge there was little time for romance and love all that fairy tale things were out of the equation of the people lives. alhaitham was no exception to the rule, in fact, he cared so little about the idea of infatuation and romance that it didn't cross his mind at all, not until his old grandma told him, that she had found an adequate and nice girl to be his bride.

the truth was, he didn't care at all, he could have refused with good reasons, in reality, he liked being alone, it was easier, lets complications meant more accomplishments. but if the girl didn't bother him and let him be with his studies and do his things, he didn't see the problem with accepting the marriage. so the preparations begin

the first time he met you, alhaitham didn't know what to make about you. you were a pretty young girl, he could appreciate that, a nice smile, bright eyes, and a cheerful disposition. you seemed so far away from the common world. you looked nervous but he could tell you had what people seemed to categorize as a sweet personality. it was a little eerie looking at you, so nice and cheerful, with a fitting lilac dress… and your eyes met his, a smile on your face, he could only nod in acknowledgement, but your smile grew more as you talked with a friend excitedly. so contrasting.  

in the days leading to the wedding, he discovered some things about you, it resulted, you were an ex akademiya student, and you had a decent academic record, but for some reason, you decided not to follow the academic path. all the times he saw you, it seemed like you always were happy, with a smile, and going to one place and another, you had a liveness in you. one day you asked him something maybe it was about the flowers, maybe it was about the cake he could only answer the true 《he didn't care》 something seemed to change in your expression but you nodded not the less. you seemed like you wanted to tell something more, so he observed you; you were in another dress it was white but it had lilac ornaments. with all the people you talked to, you smiled, he was surprised your face didn't hurt at this point. 

and the wedding day came. it was lively, decorated with care, rainbow roses and paradises hung over chandeliers, and the bride, you looked eerie in the bridal dress, your always present smile shining and brightening the room, and your eyes looking at him almost like searching for something. alhaitham was stoic as always, but even he felt his breath taken away at your sign. for you almost all seemed unreal, you were getting married, his face was serious like always, and you were searching for something, something in him that could tell you that this was going to work. you wanted to believe that there was some curiosity behind his eyes, it all felt helpless but you hoped. 

the ceremony was quick, nothing special in particular, traditional rites and votes, it was like a trance it finished almost as it started, and the wedding continued with the fest and the party, and especially the first dance you smile at him, but he didn't say anything, his face with the same expression, you didn't know what you were waiting but it was something, maybe at 《you look beautiful》 but you would be conformed with an 《the weather is nice》 in that moment. 

alhaitham was in his seat of honour, he was watching you dazzling with some girls, your cousins he believed you said? but in a strange way, you seemed in your element, he couldn't keep his eyes out of you, you were an enchantress, it was not natural, the sweetness, the brightness, the way you flow in your moves, he was there with you some hours ago, the first dance, it was brief, as he only wanted to go to his place and end all this, and you seemed distracted, he remembers you asked about the decorations “they are fine, i guess” he answered, you smile seemed to felt for a second and came back almost immediately, averting your gaze he could her you murmur “the rainbow rose is one of my favourite flowers, all people say they are pink but sometimes they seem lilac to me, and the colour is pretty, and the meaning…”  alhaitham looked at you waiting for you to continue talking in the dance "it can symbolize several things" you said quickly to look away as if wanting to avoid something, alhaitam decided not to pressure if you wanted to say something you would say it he tought. 

and now he was watching you dance, laughing, and dazzling, you asked him if he wanted to dance more, but he refused, “im comfortable here, thank you” was his short answer, something shifted in your face, but as you enjoy your time it seemed left past. and as he looked at you a single word could only describe you, nymph, he thought, an ethereal nymph, that bewitched all the room. 

the day ended, and the moment came, time to go to alhaitham house, no, your new house you remember yourself, the way was silent, but he seemed comfortable with that, so you stayed silent. he looked as always, with the same expression, he was now your husband, and you were in way to his home, no, in way to your home. as you passed the portal, the place seemed nice, but you couldn't help to feel disappointed, there were no laughs, no bridal carry, and there was so much silence. 

he looked at you seeing the place, you seemed lost, like a deer in bright lights, you watched him walk to a door and clear his throat “there is an extra set of keys in the kitchen that you can take tomorrow, this is the bedroom you can refresh and make yourself comfortable” you enter the room it was nice and big, but it seemed lonely? “someone of your family brought somethings of yours these last days, all is in the boxes so you can accommodate the how you want” you nodded your head, what you can say in this moments? “that door leads to the bathroom, the other one is the closet” you looked at him maybe hopping that he say something more but he didn't.

when you came out of the shower after bathing and putting in one of the pajamas one cousin gave you joking that with that you could even conquist a god, it was pretty, but it made you feel shy. the bedroom was alone, alhaitham was not in sign, and all seemed to be in so much silence, you carefully get out of the bedroom looking for alhaitham, the house was dark, but there was a dim light coming out from a door, opening the door slowly, you saw what it seems to be the study room, alhaitham was there in an soffa, bathed and in comfortable clothes. his eyes looked at you quickly only to return his gaze to the pages of the book "there is something you need?" the question came in surprise, how you answer that? "i was just wondering a little... and didnt saw you" you answered as he changed the page, with out apparting his eyes from the words in the book he said "yes i came to finish some reports, and continue with my reading" you could saw that, but in the wedding night? you were hopping maybe you could talk more, try to know each other. you didn't knew what to answer and he seemed that had little interest in conversation, so you only nodded and walked to the bedroom. and as you lied in bed your thoughts seemed to spiral in what is to come.

the light wake you and you woke up alone with the other side of the bed, almost intact, it seemed like he sleep in the studio. you get up of the bed and walked only to saw alhaitham already dressed up and drinking his morning coffee. he looked at you briefly "there is some coffee left, but you can make whatever" you looked at him with keys in his hand, he was leaving? today? "are you going out" tried to sound as casual as possible, "yes" he said and didn't give more explanation as you looked him going to the door only to stop "oh i am going to the akademiya, have somethings to do" he saw you giving him an small smile, your hair was messy of the sleep, and if he looked more down, well in reality yes you were beautiful "when you arrive?".

"don't know, so don't worry about that" was the last words he said, and you were alone. the rest of the day you just accommodated your things, and recieved the wedding gifts, you were curious, but decided to wait for alhaitham, maybe it could be a chance to talk, and past time together. the house seemed nice, but it felt solitary almost like a chell, just some place to rest and store things. and there were a lot of books, all academic and of a lot of subjects, maybe you should ask your mother of bringing you your novels. but even if there was something you wanted to read, your mind were wondering about the man that lived in the house, maybe he was just nervous you were too, he was polite, maybe it was cuestion of time, maybe you just needed time.

time passed, day by day, and as time goes bye, things seem to stay the same. that first day when he arrive you commented him about the gifts, you were excited but all semmed to faint when he answered "i think you can check them and sortem alone" you tried to smile to him "you don't want to look at them" his only response was "no its fine, trust in you" so you opened your wedding gifts alone, in a house that you felt will never be yours.

and as time still went , week by week, things didn't seem to change, the feelings of rejection were groing, he was not bad, he was not good, you think the only answer was that he wasnt, you tried to stay positive, tried to stay optimistic, but it was waiting on you, the house feeled strange, and you couldnt balance yourself in this eviroment that semmed so far away for you. he was not cruel, so there was nothing you could complain about. you only feel lonely.

you started to fall in routine or so you believed, only half of the time you could wake before of him and doing a breakfast he always say "its not necessary" and after that alone time, sometimes you will get out and go with some friend to talk or eat something, and every fifteen days in saturday, you visited your family, alone. they didnt ask, your father talked things about the akademiya, you found out about the changes there, even if your husband was the grand scribe.

at the beginning you took advantage of the house alone, to dance and sing, and just move yourself, you were alone soo you say to yourself that you could made a fool of yourself, unknowngly of the little times alhaitham catch you, dancing and singing in the kitchen or common room, for him it was a little fascinating but he would never comment something about that, but he would smile to himself, you were a nymph he tought is obvious that dance is in you second nature. but as time passed you danced every time less, you didn't feel motivation to sign, and you almost not feel like yourself.

alhaitham moved towards his own things, all within his space, you didn't knew his colleagues, or friends? only one Kaveh he was fine, but commonly it was only bickering between him and alhaitham. all made you feel invisible. more when people when people at the akademiya, were surprised that alhaitham was married. only one time you went to the akademiya to leave him something he had left behind, and the way some akademics treat you, thats what you left in the first place, but why nobody new alhaitham was married? so invisible you were. all more feel lonely.

if someone asked you what alhaitham was to you, and if you would tell the true, the only answer was 《 a ghost, an spirit that just lives there, and you know that is there, is not an evil one but either a good one, he is just a ghost i live within this walls, of a place that seems unknow to me, a ghost that don't disturbs, it almost difficult to feel his presence but you know is there, and don't matter what you try, you can never recognize him, talk to him, comprehend him, you could never recognize his will. in the end the ghost is just part of the place, but you also are becoming just a part of the house, a wallflower of life 》

alhaitham noted your change, the energy, the life and the bright in your eyes, faded everyday, for several days now he didn't catch you signing or dancing like before, and now the brief chitchat that you had when your ate, was more brief, being now him the one to talk more, he observe you, you didn't seem sick, you looked tired, and you body sometimes trembled, he saw your hands they had injuries from cleaning, the last days, you seemed a little obsessed with that everything where clean he told you, that it was not necesary, that all were spotless but you said you prefered so he let you be, but he couldn't saw you hurt.

so after dinner he enter the bedroom, you were there with that pajamas more akin to a babydoll, you seemed lost reading a book but in reality not reading "you hurt yourself" was the thing that he said, and take you out of your trance, without letting you answer, he took your hand and began to put ointment on it and bandage it. your eyes round looked at him, but as always he just discussed what is in hand "i'm going to hide the cleaning products, if you keep going, you can't be hurt, understood?" he saw you, and you looked so helpless there, hair let down, pink babydoll, and eyes wide like a doe, nooding to answer to him "fine" he couldn't look you more so he looked briefly at the book in your hands, a novel. "not more cleaning, now rest" he left with a word more.

when you wakeup the next morning the house were alone, but there was tea waiting for you, and a fiction book in the table. when alhaitham arrived home an smile face was painted in his face as he saw you reading the book he left for you, without a world he put a candy box in the bureau and left to the studyroom.

alhaitham missed the shine in your smile, and your cheerfulness, but he could spotit sometimes everytime you looked at a new book, or saw a desert, even somethings so simple like flowers made you smile. so everyday without a word he let something for you, first only the thing and after that with a little nottee, he feel stupid, but you seemed to smile to the notes.

it was morning, it was strange, you didn't have hopes for the day, this last days, he seemed to disappear for some days only to cameback, an expeditions they where, in reality you didn't coment on it, all ways confused, the tug of war, of your feelings was getting out of crontol. and maybe the thing that made you crazy, was that he looked the same, you belived that you liked stoic man, but not the stoicism in person. in the other side there was his care, the gifts, but there also was the silence and the space. you looked to the vase of flowers with some rainbow roses, that he left there, was he so confusing, you didnt want to fall for him, you didnt want to be the one to get hurt, you were scare, that even after all this time, you felt helpless in his presence.

you wished you could sleep the day away, maybe was the better, so that were the plan of the day, if you sleep, nothing could happen, and life moved without you so it was fine. but after some hours, and some headache you couldn't help to cry, and just cry in the dark room of this house that wasn't your home and hounted your heart.

alhaitham hated sometimes those stupid scolars of the akademiya, he thought as he entered his house, it was dark, it was pretty late, so you must be asleep now, although he sometimes notted how you couldn't sleep at night. alhaitham new things were slow, but he could say they were a little progress, your eyes seemed to shine almost like at the start, and he conversed more with you, when he accepted to get married, he didn't think that he will feel so enchanted for his wife. but you were a nymph in his life, 《 you had bewitched him of body and soul 》 as the corny books you read put it. in the beginning he started distance for him, after that it was for you, and after that it was just a routine of you. but he was restless, all the time he did what he wanted, and say what he wanted, but with you it was different, he wanted you, but he didn't knew what to do now.

he saw the table and frown all was intact since the morning, he made its way to the master bedroom, that seemed almost yours, but in wanting his space and then in not making you uncomfortable, maybe he could change that, his thoughts close as he heard you sniff and cry, it seemed you were almost out of breath and he never felt so shitty in his life like in that moment, he didn't care what people thought of him, but now he care about your thoughts.

you fell him in the room, and telling you something that seemed far away, you tried not to, but you couldn't help of hugging him, of trying to hide yourself in his arms. you thought maybe just for night, he didn't say nothing, and he let you be. so you hide in him, until you felt asleep.

the next morning you wakeup expecting to be alone like always but he was there looking at you. alhaitham couldn't help himself looking you so helpless his hand traveled to your hair, getting it out your face "you know my little wife?" it seemed so surreal almost like a dream, "i have been thinking of the shitty husband i was being and how much i have neglected my marital duties" his voice was low and hoarse of the morning. his hand hold you chin and made you look into his eyes "i wonder if my sweet little wife could forgive me" you were left for word and only form a perfect o with your lips "maybe i should try harder to fulfill my duties as a husband" he smile when the words seemed to fall on you and your eyes shined like when he met you "maybe you should try" your voice were eerie "maybe i should but only if my so sweet wife let me" his face was serious, but you wanted, he was breaking the wall, yes it started with the presents the notes, but this felt real, you only nodded to him, for a reason you felt shy in his gaze.

his voice lowered more as he hold you "nymph you have been so sweet forgiving me, i promise that i will be better for you" there was that smile "you hadn't being that bad, i guest" you wanted to jock a little but you couldnt not know that it all seemed unreal "alhaitham thank you , for the books, and the sweets, and the notes and the flowers, you remembered my favourite flowers" his face was the same serious face of always but there were something in his eyes some shine and a little smirk that was appearing in the corner of his lips "so polite my nymph...."

⋆❀ — a/n: i hope you like this, i am not so sure if i liked it, but is my first long post, so maybe if i do a change will be little and i will warn. i try to stay in alhaitham pov most of the time but the angst is better in the reader's pov, like always asks are open, if you have ideas, or want to comment something. dont know if the next post would be the second part of this or the ayato one. thank you for reading as always. if you had a better name for the tittle its welcome 🌸🍨🪼

⋆❀ — lovelies tags: @oveloof,

[billowyy]

In My Notebook There Is Love (ao3)

Stede/Ed, Stede/Original Character | 1k words | Febuwhump day 17: silent tears

Eight

The flowers remind him of the ones that grow in his mother’s garden—the ones that he always finds bees on. They’re purple and delicate, and when he holds them up his nose, they smell like summer. 

He gathers as many as he can while still making sure to leave the bushes they come from looking pretty, and turns to walk down the path he came from. Before he can get too far, though, he hears his name being called. 

“Bonnet!”

Oh no.

“Look! It’s Baby Bonnet!” 

Before he knows it, he’s on the ground with his flowers scattered around him. One of the boys shoved him and is now stomping all over them, dirtying their pretty purple and green. 

Their torment doesn’t last long, but it ends with him hunched over the tattered flowers with tears streaming down his face and trying to forget the boys’ harsh words and hands. Stede grabs a few that aren’t complete goners and tries to make another bouquet out of them. 

His sad, weak bouquet looks how he feels. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers to them. He sniffles and wipes the wetness from his cheeks. 

Stede gives the flowers one last look before placing them alongside the pathway and going home.

--

Eighteen

It’s the flowers at the wedding that finally make him cry. 

Soft, yellow petals press against her dress. She’s nervous and holding her bouquet too tightly and Stede worries that they’ll break, right there in front of everyone. He thinks it would be symbolic. 

Robert is nervous too. His shoulders are slightly hunched, he keeps glancing between his bride and the minister, and he’s got one hand resting on the side of his thigh. Stede knows he does that so he can soothingly rub his thumb back and forth against his pants. Stede knows his mannerisms like he knows the back of his hand. 

He can see himself so clearly, laying in a field of those yellow flowers with Robert at his side. Stede had Robert’s hand in his, resting on his belly. Their shoulders were pressed together and Robert was picking up the flowers that grew around them and covering Stede in them. 

Stede was surrounded by their floral scent. He wanted to close his eyes and bask in it, with the sun shining on his face and the ground solid against his back, but he couldn’t stop staring at Robert. 

“You look beautiful in yellow,” Robert had said. He got up on one elbow so he was leaning over him, pushing Stede’s hair back. He kept his hand in Stede’s hair while he kissed him deeply. 

Now, Stede feels a tear slide down his cheek. He wipes it away and wills the rest to stay in his eyes. 

Stede watches Robert marry a girl he once cried in Stede’s arms about and knows that when he marries, he wants it to be for love. 

--

Twenty-eight

The baby is a girl.

She’s beautiful. Soft hair, smooth skin, and so, so tiny. She’s wrapped in a floral embroidered blanket and Stede is in love the moment he lays his eyes on her. They decide on the name Alma. 

“My gorgeous girl,” he whispers to her, running a finger down her cheek. He’s got her tucked into his arms, sitting in a chair while Mary sleeps. 

Alma blinks at him, slow and sleepy. He lowers his face to hers, closing his eyes and resting their foreheads together. 

Later, in his study with the door shut, he cries. Because the baby is a girl. 

He doesn’t bother wiping away the tears. He just sits in a chair by the window that overlooks the rose garden and lets them fall down his face. 

--

Forty-eight

“Stede, my love, the flowers aren’t going to change if you look away from them.” 

Logically, Stede knows that, but he’s so worried that they will. He wants fresh flowers at their matelotage ceremony and he’s been scared that they’re going to wilt too much before they can get started. They picked them out together yesterday evening when they were on land and they’ve been sitting in a vase of water, waiting. 

“But flowers are such fickle things, dear. Who knows what they’ll look like in a few hours.” He reaches out a hand to the bouquet of wildflowers, stopping just before he reaches the petals. 

“They’ll look like flowers, Stede.”

Stede gives him a look. He wants this to be perfect. Ed, lovely Ed, must be able to tell what he’s thinking. 

Edward rests a hand on the small of Stede’s back, looks at the flowers with him, and says, “It’ll be alright if they’re not looking completely fresh. They can be a bit old just like we are. It’ll be like a fresh start, with the fresh flowers and all that, but also a bit wrinkly and soft. We can match. It’s exactly the type of symbolism shit you love.” 

And it is. If Stede were to read that in one of his romance books, he just knows he would pause to bring his hand to his chest and breathe with those words for a moment. 

Leaning to rest his back against Ed’s chest, he gives the flowers one last look before turning his face into Ed’s neck. He grabs Ed’s hands and holds his arms around him. 

“I love you,” a kiss to the short hair under Ed’s jaw, “I’m so glad we’re doing this.” Ed squeezes him. 

So they become matelots. It’s a sweet ceremony that has Stede weeping silently by the end as he tucks flowers into Edward’s hair, back when they’re by themselves. They’re off to the side, sitting on the deck as the others dance and drink, and Ed is sitting between Stede’s legs. 

“Are you alright?” Edward asks, turning to look back at Stede. 

“Oh, yes, yes. I’m wonderful.” 

“You’re crying, Stede.” He reaches out a hand and wipes under Stede’s eye. He leaves his hand cupped around Stede’s face. 

Edward is looking at him so tenderly, so lovingly. Stede leans in to kiss him on the lips. 

“I’m just—I’m so happy, my darling Edward.” 

Edward wraps Stede up in a hug and he presses his face into Edward’s hair, smelling the flowers.

[appgreys]

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[skywalkerstyles]

Skald(Bakugou x Reader)

Part one:

Warnings: werewolf Bakugou, arranged marriage, Viking Bakugou, slightly out of character Bakugou, A/B/O verse, soulmate verse, love triangles

Summary: an alliance is made between the werewolves and humans. That’s all I can say for now

“She’s mad and she’s magic. There’s no lie in her fire.” -Charles Bukowski

“Every single part, is who you’re meant to be, and you were meant for me, and you’re everything I need.” -Skylar Grey

Y/N kicked Asger hard, sending her sparring partner to the ground. She smirked, righting herself and sheathing her sword once more.

“‘S good Your highness. You get better every day.” She basked in the praise. It felt good to be acknowledged as more than just the Chieftain's daughter. She was a warrior, just like her brothers and sisters. “Next time though,” he barreled into her, knocking her to the ground. “Plant your feet. Never let the enemy give you a surprise.” He reached down, helping her back up.

“Thank you Asger. It means a lot that you’re willing to spar with me.” Not many of their clan would. She was.....she was the Chieftain's daughter. If she got hurt heads would inevitably roll. He smiled, nudging her gently.

“Don’t tell your father I was rough with you and we’re good eh?” She laughed. He pulled out his drinking horn, taking a drink of mead before handing it to her. She drank from it gratefully.

“Y/N!” She rolled her eyes, hearing the loud bark of her father. Chief Hagen was a huge man. 6’7, dark hair braided down his back and shaved down the sides, a burly beard and rosy nose. He was intimidating beyond words and Asger quickly turned on his heel after snatching his gourd back.

“faðir(father)” she reached for him as he wrapped an arm around her and hugged her tightly to him, kissing the top of her head.

“barnið mitt(my child). Was Asger rough with you?” He asked. Y/N shook her head.

“No. He just told me to make sure my feet are planted and sparred me a bit.” Hagen nodded, eyes following Asger’s retreating form. He sighed, looking back at his daughter with a smile.

“Your mother and I have something we would like to discuss with you. Will you come home?” She nodded, following behind her father.

Their home was the largest in the village. A big stone building with wooden posts and a solid foundation. Oydis, Y/N’s mother, was outside, shelling green beans with her grandmother. Nana Rhigda smiled at her as they approached.

“Nana.” Y/N said, stopping to kiss the older woman on the cheek. Her skin was withered and cold beneath her lips.

“Sweet girl,” her mother said, garnering her attention away from her grandmother. “We need to speak with you privately”. Oydis held out her hand, gripping her daughter firmly as the three of them walked into their home.

Katsuki was shifting back into human form when his father came to collect him. The boy was pulling his trousers up his legs when he turned and saw him, Chieftain of their clan, walking towards him. Katsuki paused his movements, set on edge by the look on his father’s face.

“Good hunt Katsuki?” he asked. Katsuki nodded.

“Three deer. ‘Spose itll be good for winter once the women dry the meat out.” He had caught two of them. He loved the thrill of the chase, attacking something, wrestling it to the ground and tearing it apart with his fangs. The power was intoxicating.

“That’s good...care to go for a walk?” this surprised Katsuki further. He was never asked to go on walks with his father unless the conversation was serious and needed to be away from prying eyes. Katsuki followed him down the stony path towards the ocean, where the long boats sat on shore, gazing out at the horizon.

“Is everything alright?” he asked. His father nodded.

“The pack is doing very well. We’re thriving actually. But you know as well as I do that, that can change in a moment.” He snapped his fingers. “‘S why alliances are so important. Especially for Werepeople. We aren’t human. And humans can be fickle things. They let fear run their heart and they hate anything they don’t understand.” they stopped infront of one of the boats, His turned to look at him fully. “‘S why I’ve made an alliance with the Helvig Clan...you’re to marry their eldest daughter, Y/N, within a fortnight.” Katsuki’s heart nearly burst out of his chest, he looked at his father with wide eyes.

“W...What?”

“No….I...I’m not ready to marry.” Y/N said, shaking her head. Oydis put her arm around her daughter, rubbing her thumb against Y/N’s shoulder to try and calm her. Her father stood in front of her, face stern and unchanging.

“It’s already been decided.” Hagen said. “It….Its our life on the line sweetheart. Or family. Our tribe. This alliance is a powerful one. With Werepeople on our side we can be unstoppable.” Y/N shook her head, tears falling down her face.

“I don’t...I don’t want to marry someone I don’t love.” Hagen swallowed hard. He loved all of his children, and if there was another way, he would take it over his daughter’s tears in a heartbeat. “You will meet Katsuki tonight at dinner.”

Hana waited by their tree. It was a little after the time they had set to meet and she worried. Katsuki was never late. Not when it came to meeting, their secret moments when they could be alone together.

She was picking petals off a flower when she heard his familiar footfalls, turning to launch herself into his arms. He caught her and held her tightly, pressing soft kisses to the skin of her neck.

“Hello my love.” he whispered. His heart was breaking but he kept up his composure. It was Hana he wanted to marry, to be with. But those dreams had been shattered with one conversation.

“Katsu?” she whispered, pulling back from him, she kissed his cheeks, as he rested his forehead against hers. She smelled heavenly. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re going to hate me.” he mumbled. She shook her head.

“Never darling. What’s wrong?” He took her in, studied her dark hair, the bright blue eyes, soft pink lips. What other woman could compare to her. The girl he had loved for three years now.

“I’m to be married.” Hana felt as though someone had struck her hard across the face.

“W..What?”

“An alliance. I’m to be married within a fortnight.” Now Hana couldn’t stop her own tears. Katsuki held her close.

“I love you.” she cried into his shoulder. He nodded, swallowing thickly.

“I know.”

Y/N was nervous. She had never been interested in anyone and no one had ever fancied her before. But her mother and grandmother bathed her, washed her hair and placed perfume on her body. They put a crown of white lilies in her hair and a maroon satin dress on her. Oydis placed her hand on her daughter’s rosy cheek.

“You look beautiful my girl. Absolutely stunning.” Hagen stuck his head into the room, mouth parting slightly when he saw his eldest daughter. Gone was the tomboy he adored, now stood before him a young maiden, ready to be married off. It broke his heart a little.

“They,” he cleared his throat. “They’re here. Is the meal prepped?” Hagen couldn’t look at his daughter. He would cry and he couldn’t do that.

“Everything is ready son,” Rhagid said, waving him away. “Bring them in and we will bring her out.”

It was a smaller village than their own, but it looked quite cozy. Katsuki walked stiffly beside his father, as His father led him to the largest of the long houses. Before knocking He turned to Katsuki.

“I know this is hard for you son….but with time comes love. If you don’t love her now you will. It did for me and your mother.” Katsuki looked at him in shock.

“You...you and mom were-”

“Arranged? Yes. And I was a horrible husband in the beginning….” he ran a hand through his hair. “I loved another before her you see? And I kept going back to her. I didn’t….I refused to see how it hurt your mother. Until the day she threatened me with divorce. We managed to work things out, and I fell for her madly. But in the beginning I never gave her a chance.” he placed a hand on his son’s shoulder, looking him in the eyes. “All I’m asking is, give her a chance. You’re a good man. Be a better man than I was to your mumma.”

Hagen opened the door to his home widely and warmly, smiling at the fellow Chief and nodding in respect. He looked at the boy that would be marrying his daughter. He was about 5’7, blonde spikey hair, and brilliant red eyes. He nodded at Hagen who did the same in return before welcoming them in.

“Smile darling. It’s not the end of the world.” Oydis said softly to her daughter. Hagen shouted from the main area, bidding them to come. The women stood, the older two exiting first and then, the girl to be married.

Katsuki’s breath came out sharp and short when his eyes met his bride’s for the first time. She was a beauty, beyond anything he could have imagined her being But there was something else, something warm that he had never felt with Hana. This woman’s scent called to him, it was of honey and brown sugar, of lilies and roses. It was intoxicating.

“May I present my daughter? Y/N.” Hagen took his daughter’s hand, bringing her forward. Katsuki felt his father’s hand on his back, pushing him forward as well. Hagen reached out, holding his hand out for Katsuki, who took it blindly, he was still gazing at his wife to be. When Hagen placed their hands together, warmth shot up Katsuki’s arm, causing him to shiver. Y/N’s eyes went wide and her breath stuttered, she was most likely feeling the same thing he was. When she finally looked him in the eye he nodded, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Hello.”

Dinner was an event. The men were rowdy. Y/N’s brothers talking and laughing loudly with Katsuki and his father. Katsuki liked to boast and brag. That was the first thing she noticed about him. He bragged about his victories and hunts, pridefully puffing out his chest. Hagen seemed to get along well with Katsuki’s father and that eased Y/N’s fears a little. Her father would never give her to someone who could hurt her. He loved his girl too much and she was the only daughter.

Katsuki sat close to her but didn’t speak much to her, and when she tried to engage him, he cast her off, rolling his eyes. But with one stern look from his father he stopped, swallowing hard as he looked down at her.

“After dinner, we can go for a ride. I mean….if you’re not chicken shit?” Werewolves courted in a different way than humans, usually going for hunts and runs together to bond. But a werewolf had never been mated to a human before, so Katsuki was a little lost. But if she would trust him enough to go for a ride, maybe things could be good. If they could not be lovers, they could be allies.

Y/N smiled, nodding her head. “Will you shift?” she asked. Katsuki snorted, taking her hand in his.

“Of course. It’s the only way you’d be able to keep up.” she narrowed her eyes slightly, challenging him a bit.

“Don’t underestimate me.” he laughed again, placing an awkward kiss to her cheek. This surprises even him, he hadn’t meant to be so forward. But he didnt mind her. She was kind and could keep up with his banter. So she had that going for her.

“I would never.” the two of them stood, unnoticed by the dinning party, who were telling stories and passing around the drinking gourd. Katsuki led her outside and they walked the small path towards the woods. Once shrouded in darkness he let go of her hands, taking a few steps back away from her.

“Look away. Don’t want you to see.” Y/N turned, squeezing her eyes shut as she began to hear the snap and crack of bone, Katsuki’s grunts and growls becoming more and more animalistic as the snapping increased. And then there was silence.

Y/N felt breath, hot and heavy on the back of her neck and then something wet nudging her.

Katsuki was worried that seeing him in wolf form would frighten her. But she gazed at him curiously, studying him. He wished he could speak to her, but she would’t hear him. She wasn’t a wolf, there was no link there.

“You are….magnificent.” she whispered. He was huge, with shaggy yellow fur, his red eyes glowing as he watched her. She reached out, hesitating just as she was about to touch him, Katsuki bowed his head, grumbling lowly when she scratched behind his ears. She made him feel dizzy, lightheaded.

“Be a better man than me.” Katsuki decided he would. He would treat his little wife with respect at least. He would do the best he could.

[anolyso]

Utena thoughts...about 2 weeks later

I've been putting it off for way too long and so most of my thoughts stopped being fresh. On top of watching way too many analysis vids post-watch, but still I do at least want to put my 2cents of Revolutionary Girl Utena out there for the world.

Utena is perhaps one of the most famous "magical girl"/shoujo action shows out there for not only it's transgressive themes of relationship abuse and low-key pretty much being the poster girl for like actual feminist perspective on/in anime...but also just doing it all in both a heavily allegorical and understated, yet super over-the-top stylish fashion

But that's it's reputation preceding itself, is Utena worth while all these years? The answer is Yes, but it also really shows it's age and budget in pacing and repetition, tho as an appreciator for "behind the scenes" compromises in art, it's more showcasing Ikuhara's talent in working around both taboo and long-form budget constraints with just well-thought out and iconic imagery that - while episodic and formulaic - is just very good at filling the 39 eps with feasts for the eyes.

Utena broadly is about tomboy Utena with memories long ago after her parents died being "saved" by a princely figure like a princess...except she's so enthralled by the nostalgia that instead she becomes a full on Prince herself and receives a dueling ring to fight in the Ohtori Acadamy secret duels for "engagement" to Rose Bride Himemiya Anthy.

Utena is divided between 4 arcs, only the first and last being Manga adapted from hearsay:

1: Student Council Saga

2: Black Rose Saga

3: Akio Ohtori Saga

4: Apocalypse

From back to forth I'd say that Akio + Apoc is more just escalation into the finale while Black Rose being anime original comes off as a glorified side-character study which while complementing the secondary cast, feels like one of those Anime movies that has to say "but if you don't watch this part, it's pretty much optional for the main plot" despite it also actually introducing the most important antagonist within it's margins.

More importantly, it's the Student Council (arc and the actual people) that lay the foundation but also a large part of the show's focus which ironically puts Utena in the background until like almost the finale and some in-between developments, so it's less "Utena (and Anthy Himemiya)'s story" until the very end, but more like a showcase of how fucked up the system at large is (pin in that).

By the Council themselves is:

Kyouichi Saionji: The biggest jobber, like actually introduced as the most despicable loser ep 1 and proceeds to be a complete arrogant joke for the rest of the show. Honestly in another shojo "love" story, they'd find some way to redeem him but semi-compellingly they turn him into like an Aqua-lad type pathetic brat with an inferiority complex to the actual Student head

Miki Kaoru: the naive "nice, non-threatening soft boy" that also just never actually listens to the girls around him. Probably adds more complexity to the whole patriarchal idea on analytic reflection since yeah, the whole "nice guy finishes last" plays up better when the kid comes off as that "ally" energy of wanting to save Himemiya from being the Rose Bride but also low-key won't actually not just do the duels and win her cuz he's that sorta wishy-washy hypocrite. Arguably the least hateable guy in the cast (minus mascot Chu-Chu)

Juri Arisugawa: TRAGIC LESBIAN TRIANGLE LOVE. Probably the biggest point to of both "not-explicitly homosexual" but also really freaking obvious since her entire story is her girlfriend stealing her "boy crush" when actually she was crushing on her and being pretty much frustrated throughout her story as pining most of it. It's quaint by today's standards but also like damn girl, get over her she was like the worst back stabbing bitch (literally if Black Rose counts)

Nanami Kiryuu: SPEAKING OF QUEEN BITCH, it's been a long time since I've watched a High School girl bully and honestly it's kinda refreshing. If Miki is "soft-boy uwu" Nanami is a brat that gets her come-uppance often, featured prominently as an anime only with the MOST filler/comedic episodes but also not low-key, being the most out-spoken actual brother complex ironically spins perhaps the biggest twist and ironic relationships of "I love my brother but not-like-that but also like-that" by the end. Mostly comedic relief but I find her inclusion to actually add a lot more to juxtapose...

Touga Kiryuu: Big Student Council Prez himself, the first arc antagonist and also a strong foil to Saionji and later a stepping stone for Akio. Touga is THE image of a Princely Playboy Heart-Throb that in any other Shoujo romance would have the main girl win him over from all those "other girls" despite him being apathetic if not outright manipulative of them. Good thing Utena is better than that and really puts a spotlight on just not-actually-ok his power hunger for "the power to bring the world revolution" that leads him to heavily objectify Anthy, arguably even more than Misogynist Trophy Girlfriend beater Saionji, since he doesn't even see her as more than a means to an end despite professing and looking the Prince part but lacking all the actual virtues.

The Student council matters more since they're characters and subsequent tragic flaws are the ACTUAL meat of the show and on second rumination actual shows more how fucked up the system/gender dynamic/power hierarchy is since - while it blatantly fucks over Juri who can't just outright say who she likes - also show almost it's own sub-text of Masculine failings: Saionji desperately clinging to being TOXIC MASCULINE™ and completely falling short underneath Touga; Miki's "nice boy" act belying him trying to replace his low-key nostalgia for his sister (also a bitch, but apparently was more like Nanami in the manga); and best yet Touga being the quintessential "Prince in all but actual behavior" by emulating a cutthroat and Machiavellian world view but coming up empty because well, he's just an illusion of a prince...but that leads in way more to the big finale piece where I'll reintroduce the actual story's main trio

Utena Tenjou: Tomboy Prince with brain empty except for lesbian thoughts. Honestly probably what every western "STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN" archetype wishes they were since while having very tomboyish personality in athletics, blunt speaking and also VERY oblivious to the actual plot for REAL DRAMATIC IRONY, but also never actually demeaning her being feminine partially due to her love of an childhood prince and how she maintains her relationship with both her friend Wakaba and later Anthy. Honestly mostly a plot device after S1 until she gets ACTUAL development by the very end and instead kinda bumbles her way into undoing the entire REVOLUTION OF THE WORLD. I kinda wish she felt either more cognizant or at least felt like she was developing/properly rebuking the rest of the cast's power obsessions but I guess that's for the movie.

Anthy Himemiya: Actual Trophy Wife with a dark secret (darker than ski- wait no that's terrible scratch that). Set-up very much as an immediate princess in distress while also being the most femme Yamato Nadeshiko, Anthy being the Rose Bride as a literal prize who acts and behaves as whom she's "engaged" with desires while otherwise being quiet, wry, mysterious and noticably submissive, by the end it actually plays up into THE BIG REVEALS of just how abused she's been into a hopeless acceptance...like y'know actual abuse victims.

Akio Ohtori: Grade A Antagonist, probably the most insidious I've seen a villain in a while, Akio is notable for, back in 1997, being perhaps the big go-to of actual deconstructing the facade of a whole shoujo genre's "hots for a teacher/sexy man putting the moves" and highlighting how actually exploitative and abusive a person like that really is. Being Himemiya's brother (somewhat justified in the manga by both being a weird Sailor Moon-esque reincarnation of gods/godesses of Dios), despite how much of his motives are runing the background and how the entire back story is  uh...brought up in like barely in the last arc with little lead up (some scenes feel like they'd be a full melodrama season and they just have like 1 scene in the final arc episodes) he manages to one-up Touga (in the plot as well) by instead of "just" objectifying girls, not-just-flat out saying Utena looks best as a princess, but y'know the fact that he is implicitly yet constantly exploiting and victim-blaming Anthy for her own suffering for "the power of Dios/Revolution of the world" turns it on its head

I've spent all this time on characters but in truth a lot of the meat of the show relies again on the Council Members fleshing out the issues of system leading to outright divorcing "being a Prince" (heroic altruistic virtues) and "being a man" (considering like all but maybe the comedic relief have some deliberately misogynistic behavior) and beyond just the plot (or rather character) synopsis, the talent goes far more in how it's framed, the symbolic/allegorical shots, the repetition adding a good episode formula flow to character showcases, probably the most "tasteful" allusion to uh...*ahem* sexual abuse that so many other edgier/prentious shows fumble. Both in how intimidating yet understated it's foreshadowing is until they hard-reveal it despite never explicitly naming it even tho it sends Nanami into hysterics

Really it's both a massive blessing and reason for it's cult beloved status for it's aesthetics but also it's burden, for being a full 39 episodic season by season character development study of everyone BUT the main trio except for snippets and the very end that makes it greatly appreciable as a legitimate work of art.

What I wanted more to say however (long overdue) is that a large part of following is, visibly at least, western feminist critiques and yes while it almost seems like Utena fits the "deconstructing patriarchy" story like a glove...it's weird how almost none of them actually can give a good historical account of actual Japanese female/gender/sexuality norms nor Anime contemporaries actually were. Like Tenchi Muyo and Berserk came out the same year (Cardcaptor Sakura the next) and despite how you can "feel" the influence in lots of modern shows like SHAFT's signature visual imagery cuts or many WESETERN shows having straight scene references to Utena....almost no one has a similar feel to Utena until like Princess Tutu comes out.

Really tho probably should've watched Utena and then Tutu because while it's undeniable that Utena is a major pillar of shoujo re-codification - what with everyone before Utena was saying they thought it'd be like a Rose of Versaille or Lady Knight rip-off...whose laughing now? - it's almost like there's a missing link between it and it's major western fanbase (probably with what few anime did get overseas, this one probably rose to the top), or how very noticeable there IS an influence on it's genre in Japan

Almost none of the big analyst fans actually know A) it's not "a deconstruction of Magical Girls" since despite Ikuhara working on Sailor Moon just before this, almost none of the tropes line up and instead more with Shoujo genre as a whole. or  one of the major inspirations was Takarazuka theater.

And this is not to dismiss how inspirational it is to it's western fandom, but while I am notably cynical towards placing things on pedestals, there's probably something about cultivating the whole pop-culture feminist reading commune with people making weird time-loop theories while kinda most of it is just filling in a mad-lib mostly thanks to Ikuhara just keeping things on the vague and letting the audience take away their own perspective.

Again, most of the show is completely sub-textual or visually/symbolically depicted and never stated nor properly defines it's weird key words (End of the World, Revolutionize the World, Power of Dios, Rose Bride, all things said constantly but never really said what they "mean". But that's also perhaps its charm, in it's allegory and very Death of the Author approach, it has definitely allowed it's fan theorizing and appreciation to flourish so there's something there for that.

Ultimately I'd say Utena the TV series is great more so for what it isn't...or rather I should say it's great for not just subverting Shoujo tropes and archetypes for the Japanese audience but also that despite dealing with some very serious and heavy subjects in obtuse and perhaps understated ways for the time, people have allowed it to be put on it's pedestal because they can easily fit it in themselves.

Honestly though, not that a more "straight forward" approach wouldn't detract from Utena but I will say that the movie, Adolescence of Utena, is very much the best encapsulation of what Utena strives to be (for another big blog post) and while the TV series has plenty of time and flexes it's directorial muscles with budget constraints and season pacing UNrestrained, the movie will trim a lot of the fat

[justthehiddleswrites]

Anesthesia | Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Summary:  Tom suffers a serious car accident and the reader is the nurse on duty in the ER. Tom and anesthesia don't mix and Tom acts very out of character. Can Tom regain his composure or will he continue to shamelessly flirt with the reader? And is Benedict going to work all of this to his advantage?

Warnings: Car Accidents, Hospitals, Anesthesia Makes people act crazy, Tom quoting Shakespeare

-

“Tom?”

Tom’s eyes fluttered, and he blinked several times, adjusting to the bright white light.

“Nurse! He is waking up!”

Nurse? Waking up? Tom reached out and cold metal hit his hands. Safety rails. The air was cool, dry, and sterile. As he attempted to sit up, he felt a cold air hit his bare back.

“Hey buddy, lie back down. You gave us quite a scare,” the familiar voice reassured him as he lowered himself back down to the bed.

Tom turned his head to the sound and once he saw Benedict’s face he smiled. Ben smiled back.

“Welcome back to Earth, Tom.”

“Thanks, what happened?”

The last thing Tom remembered was climbing into the stunt car to rehearse the big action shot. After that, it was just flashes of fire, screams and sirens.

“The brakes failed and the stunt coordinator doesn’t know what happened. But the important thing is you got out alive.”

Tom attempted to sit up again and felt winces of pain throughout his body.

“What was the damage?”

Benedict looked down.

“To you or the car?”

“The car… of course me! I feel as though a Mack truck hit me.”

“You are not far off. You broke your clavicle, wrist, and a few ribs. Um… lacerations everywhere and a… a ruptured spleen.”

Tom twisted to see his friend’s face better and felt the stitches and bandages strain. He winced at the sharp pain on his left side. Benedict hit the call button and in minutes, the nurse arrived.

She smiled as she approached the bed.

“Feeling pain?”

Tom nodded.

She looked at your chart before adding some pain meds to Tom’s IV.

“That should do. I would suggest lying down and the doctor should be in about twenty minutes.”

Tom thanked her and couldn’t help but notice her gazing over her shoulder as she left the room. Her smile barely contained her giggles. Tom’s eyes widened.

“Do they know who I am?”

Benedict averted his eyes and rose from the chair, feigning interest in the generic artwork on the wall. Tom narrowed his eyes at the clear avoidance of the question.

“What are you not telling me?”

“Oh boy, you don’t remember anything when you got here, do you?”

Tom shook his head.

“No, what happened?”

“You were in a lot of pain. Tell me have you ever been under anesthesia before?”

“Maybe, once or twice…” Tom questioned, but then he stared his friend down for answers.

“What did I say, Ben?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Yes, I do. Sit down and tell me, and I will decide if you live or die.”

Dejected, Ben returned to the chair and let a sigh out.

“I’m sorry, Tom.”

Four Hours Earlier

The gurney burst through the ER doors just fifteen minutes after you started your shift. Emergency room shifts are never boring but physically and emotionally draining. You put down your cup of coffee and headed in to assess the patient.

A man lied, groaning on the gurney. His face covered in scrapes and blood staining his ginger whiskers. His left wrist sat at an unnatural angle and his shirt cut away by the paramedics to administer help.

“Car accident,” the EMT relayed, “stunt gone wrong.”

A specific hazard unique to Los Angeles. They wheeled him to the examination room and put him onto the bed with care. He wore a C-collar, but the jostling stirred the man. His eyelids fluttered open and his blue eyes work to focus on his surroundings.

“Hey…” you looked down at his chart, “Tom. How are you doing?”

“Pain.”

“I know you are in pain, but where?”

Tom gestured to the left side of his abdomen.

“Okay.” You grabbed some morphine and added it to his IV. “Any allergies?”

He shook his head.

“Anyone come with you?”

As if on cue, Benedict pulled back the curtain.

“I did.”

You recognized the man standing before you. Benedict Cumberbatch was quite the movie star.

“Really?” You attempted to keep your cool. This was no time for fan girling.

Within minutes, Benedict could communicate the information about not only the accident but Tom’s medical history as well. It had all been on file with the production company.

The doctor came in and did a quick examination.

“We need to get a CT scan and X-rays. Looks like there may be internal injuries.”

You nodded as you prepared to wheel Tom down the hall.

“Ready to go for a ride?” you asked.

Tom nodded and gave a goofy smile.

“What’s your name?”

“Y/N.”

“Y/N, Y/N. That’s a beautiful name. My name is Tom Fucking Hiddleston.”

The drugs were doing their job.

“Nice to meet you, Tom. We will take you for some tests.”

“But I didn’t study!” he sounded dismayed.

You could not suppress your laugh.

“I think you will be fine.”

Tom grabbed your hand and looked up at you, tears in his eyes.

“Will you help me study?” he asked with a serious tone.

“Of course.”

Tom continued to babble on for the rest of the trip to imaging. He spoke about how nice you smelled and how pretty your eyes look. The full court press of flirting. As you reached the room, you and the other nurse lifted Tom onto the machine.

“Here you go.”

Tom grabbed your hand once again.

“Please don’t leave. I’m scared of the dark.”

While his words spoke of her fear, his eyes and smile said something else.

“Are you flirting with me, Mr. Hiddleston?”

His smile only grew.

“Is it working?”

You leaned in to his ear to whisper, “No, but the drugs are.”

Tom pouted.

“Not fair.”

“But you are cute.”

His face lit up once again.

“I came, saw and overcame.” Tom was being dramatic.

At that point, the other nurse started up the machine, and you walked away to let the rest of nurses to care for his needs. After his scans, you headed back to the waiting area. You found Benedict pacing the floor in anticipation. His long fingers alternating between steepling in front of his face and raking through his hair. As you approached, you cleared your throat.

“Yes?” his voice shared a tone of concern and hopefulness.

“A few broken bones but the big thing is that his spleen has ruptured. He needs surgery right away.”

Ben’s face fell.

“Will he be okay?”

You nodded.

“He will make a full recovery. Would you like to see him before they send him in to operating?”

You led Ben back to where they were prepping Tom for surgery. The anesthesiologist added drugs to the IV and Tom was now in a full hospital gown. His tattered rags of clothes in the garbage.

“No fair!” Tom bellowed as you entered with Ben throwing the thin sheet over his legs. The two of you shared a knowing look, “You have seen me naked but I have not had the chance to see you naked.”

You leaned into Benedict.

“It would seem that the medicine does not agree with your friend,” you smirked.

“Oh, I don’t know, I rather like him like this, so not proper. So not Tom Hiddleston.”

You smiled as you looked upon Tom who, in vain, tried to cover his body. Even loopy on drugs, he charmed and warmed your heart.

“I will leave you to it.”

As you turned to leave, Tom shouted at you.

“I love thee, Y/N. By which honor I dare not swear thou lovest me, yet my blood begins to flatter me that thou dost, not withstanding the poor and untempering effect of visage. And therefore tell me, most fair Y/N, will you have me?”

You suppressed a small giggle.

“I will see you later,” you let them both know as you shut the door.

As soon as the door latched, Tom grabbed Benedict’s arm and pulled him down close.

“Ben! Ben! Have you met my wife?”

Benedict screwed his face up with confusion.

“The nurse? That is just the drugs talking, Tom. You barely know her.”

“Nonsense. She will be my wife and you shall be my best man.”

Benedict looked at Tom with an exasperated face but Tom’s only contained earnest. With a chuckle, Benedict conceded.

“Very well, Tom. I will be your best man.”

Tom slapped Benedict’s shoulder.

“That’s the spirit. As my best man, I require you to acquire my future bride’s number.”

Benedict could not resist at this point to play along with his friend’s drug-addled fantasy.

“I will, on one condition.”

“Name your price.”

“Name your firstborn after me.”

“Consider it done.”

“Then consider the number yours.”

Tom’s face beamed and as if on cue, the nurses came to wheel Tom into surgery.

***

“Oh dear, God. I quoted Shakespeare.”

Tom hung his head and his face and neck turned a bright shade of red.

“Yep. The Henry the Fifth wooing speech too. Honestly, it was one of your better performances. Might I suggest doing all your roles drugged from now on.”

Tom shot Benedict a withering look.

“Ha ha. Very funny. I can’t show my face to her again.”

At that moment, the door opened, and you entered. The color drained from Tom’s face, while the smile grew on Benedict’s.

“Y/N!” Benedict cooed, “We were just talking about you. So nice of you to stop in.”

Your shift ended half an hour ago, but you wanted to check in on Tom before going home. Today was not the first time a patient hit on you, although they are usually not an award-winning actor with a penchant for quoting Shakespeare. But, you would remain ever the professional. You checked the chart before wishing the two men well.

As you turned to exit, Benedict walked you out.

“Thank you, Y/N for attending to Tom.”

“My pleasure. Even under the influence, he is quite charming.”

Benedict took this opportunity.

“Speaking about that…”

3 years later

“Tom!”

You yelled down the hall of your London home, beckoning your husband. At six months pregnant, getting up and down was no easy task. Tom rushed to your side. He gave you his arm and with a rocking start; you extracted yourself from the chair.

“Thanks, darling.”

“I am at your beck and call.”

You rubbed your swollen belly as you waddled your way down the hall. Tom followed you to the kitchen.

“Now about names for this little young man here.”

Tom grew ashen. He thought he could avoid this conversation, but it seems his luck had run out.

“Yeah, I have I mentioned today that I love you.”

Tom kissed your lips, and you looked at him with distrust.

“What have you done?”

Tom smiled and rubbed his neck, a nervous habit.

“I may have promised to name the child after Benedict.”

Tom flinched.

“You what? Why on earth would you do that?”

“It was for a good cause.”

“Which was?”

“Your phone number.”

With that, Tom took off down the hallway. You smiled as you walked with much effort behind him.

“We are NOT naming our child after breakfast food!”

You heard Tom’s laughter fill the house.

[historyhermann]

The power of libraries and card catalogs: Revolutionary Girl Utena shines through [Part 1]

Recently, I was watching a Japanese anime, Revolutionary Girl Utena, which aired in 1997, I stumbled upon scenes showcasing libraries, reference, and much more, time and time again. This is a series that can be watched on YouTube, with subtitles, or dubbed, whichever you prefer while having over 973 fan fiction works on Archive of Our Own. There was much more than other series, or even Hollywood films like The Public, The Truman Show, Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Wear-Rabbit, the latter that had a brief library scene. It's actually extraordinary as I've never seen an animated series feature libraries as many times like this one!

In the show's fourth episode ("The Sunlit Garden - Prelude"), part of the Student Council Saga, there is a short scene in a library that is clearly very scholarly. This isn't a surprise as all of the characters are students of Ohtori Academy, set somewhere in Japan. In this scene, Juri Arisugawa, the fencing team captain at the academy meets Miki Kaoru (the person with the blue hair), secretary of the Student Council.

Miki is correcting a test for Anthy, the Rose Bride, and is studying in the library, clearly dedicated to his studies. The whole scene is not even a minute long, but it portrays the library as a serious place when you do serious work, with the lighting on the table reminding me a bit of the Library of Congress. It's very different from the library depicted in Steven Universe, Futurama, or the ones in that 2008 Harold & Kumar movie and The Truman Show. It also reminds me of a brief scene in a church library in the Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005) film, which ends up being a key part of the story.

This brings me to "The Boys of the Black Rose," the 14th episode of the show, and part of the Black Rose Saga. In this scene, Mikage, the head of the Mikage Seminar at the academy, who wants to gain power for himself, is using what looks like a microfilm machine to examine a newspaper:

He is greeted by two men in business tricks saying his "paper" did the trick as it allowed for their research office to be chosen for a consulting office. He almost laughs them off, continuing to look at the paper.

After these men try to give him a gift, he brushes it off, and they soon walk away, calling him a genius. He sure looks like one with all his books on the shelves and materials on the desk! It's almost the stereotypical portrayal of academia, as aloof and dedicated to their work. This is reinforced by the fact that after this he continues to look at the scanner like little has happened:

Later on in the episode, I thought it was a little comedic when Miki tells Utena (the girl with pink hair), the series protagonist, with Anthy standing beside her, about the research building right after he has come back from the reference area, which is a lie, as he was actually talking to Mikage about how he wasn't "good enough" to be part of his seminar. He almost acted with a shock that Utena didn't know about this, almost like a person telling something they just learned for the first time:

I'd also like to point out there was one scene in this episode that seemed to be an homage to a scene in that episode of She-Ra and the Princesses of Power that focuses on the magical library, where Utena and Anthy were sitting on a couch, with Akio on the other couch, but maybe this was just a coincidence. Regardless, none of these libraries are like the hilarious sewer library from Futurama!

Jumping to episode 18 of the show, "Mitsuru's Growing Pains," in the Black Rose Saga, the academic library is featured again. In the library, Mitsuru, who is looking through books, asks Utena and Anthy what it means to be grown up. Anthy says that she and Utena have done "some adult things" which is undefined, although there may be some romantic connotations there.

After this, he ends up going to the Black Rose Seminar and tries to fight Utena, almost in a trance. Like with all her duels, apart from when she battled Touga, she wins, and the Black Rose is destroyed. The episode goes on, the mentions of libraries and archive-like environments are not over.

This theme is followed in another episode, part of the Black Rose saga, episode 21 (also known as "Troublesome Insects"). During the episode, one of Nanami's followers, Keiko misses a party. Instead, she goes to a presumed library, or perhaps an archives, to get student council records that Nanami didn't want to do.

Reprinted from Pop Culture Library Review and Wayback Machine.

[shewhospeakswiththunder]

Perhaps you’re feeling bored at home or, if considered an “essential” worker like me, you need a little fun and stress relief. Here is my masterpost of fic recs from my two years of reading so far. Maybe you’ll find something new, or reconnect with an old favorite. Either way--

Enjoy! 😷💕

Reylo Fics that Deserve All the Love

Near Kinsman by englishable

Englishable is just one of the best writers I’ve encountered in fandom. This historical western mail order bride AU is top notch quality.

The Masochism of Self-Defence by greyorchids

The Reylo dynamic in this Boston PD AU is steamy, but also heartfelt. 

So Much Thin Glass by walkingsaladshooter

Never knew I loved modern day Gothic AUs until I ran across this one.

Heaven Forbid by DarkKnightDarkSide

I was stunned by the author’s creativity in this Priestlo fic. So smutty. So... inventive 😉🔥

Sonder by deathbyhumidity

Two strangers passing each other by on the train. Soft, dreamlike, somber, poignant. Modern AU.

And Still I Would Remember by Inmyownidiom

A Victorian era AU of two souls that parted and come crashing back together.

So, You've Decided to Glamour a Human Girl. by selunchen

Faeries AU! Ben, a fae, and Rey, a human. Shenanigans ensue.

Live Long, and Prosper by SaintHeretical

For the Reylo Trekkies. Hell, even if you don't do Star Trek, read this. PHENOMENAL.

Mr. Solo & Miss Wellfound by LinearA

“Regency/Victorian AU, Ben sees Rey's stockinged ankle by accident.”

Diyari by Nervoustouch

Modern archeologists AU. Snarky banter with dashes of Indiana Jones, The Mummy, and Sahara vibes.

Drawn to the light of your burning sorrows by Kyriadamorte

The Mothlo AU you didn’t know you needed. Both gritty and soft.

Crown Glass by RebelRebel

Fantasy AU, with lots of beautiful imagery and engaging character dynamics.

Kohelet 3:16 (Call Me A Cab) by LinearA

NYC Jewish Leia and Ben. Skillfully layered plot, nuanced characterization. Smut is HOT.

By the Shores of Varykino Lake by hipgrab (merrymegtargaryen)

Unhealthy dynamics, definitely read the tags. “There’s a lot of fucked-up-ness”, in the author’s own words. But it’s good writing. Fair warning.

Let Me Put My Darkness In You by ArdeaJestin

Canonverse. Hux is an insufferable, pompous ass and Kylo Ren writes terrible, melodramatic poetry.

Wintertide by Zabeta

Whimsical and primitive in turn, this lives up to the style of a true fairytale AU.

The Forty Thieves by PoetHrotsvitha

Peaky Blinders/Gangsters AU. Rey starts as Ben’s bartender and ends up as so much more.

I Said to My Soul, Be Still by LinearA

Dark!Rey takes her man. 🥵🔥💕

Hux's Rousing Pep Talks by Riels_shorts

This fic is hysterical. It’s not Reylo, and I don’t care. My list, my rules.

It's All I Can Do To Leave You Alone by TazWren

Office AU. Silly, spunky, with a bashful Ben. 

Sip the Honey Sweet by dietplainlite

Anne of Green Gables-esque/Edwardian era AU, the title really says it all.

The Pull to the Light by HarpiaHarpyja

Entrancingly macabre. This modern/fantasy/monsters AU catches your attention from the get-go, and never lets you off the hook.

lay then the axe to the root by sciosophia

All the Bronte goodness, plus smut.

The Golden Age by TourmalineGreen

Golden Age of Hollywood AU in which Ben is a jaded actor in serious need of an image fix, in the form of fresh-faced actress Rey.

Never Be Your Curse by Kate_Reid 

Kylo Ren is a go-go dancer in this AU. That was enough to get my attention 😘

Gallows God by Killtheselights

Bursting with deliciously grim imagery, an intelligent take on Norse mythology.

Thunderstorms, Clouds, Snow, and a Slight Drizzle by aNerdObsessed

Who doesn’t love an ugly sweater Christmas party? Ben Solo, that’s who. All the nostalgic wintertime feels in this modern AU.

Though My Soul Has Set in Darkness by englishable

It’s not long, but it’s good. A lyrical dive into the mindspace of child Ben Solo. A true gem. Also not technically Reylo. Still don’t care.

I Dare You by tinylittlebrain

Daredevil Kylo has pissed off ER doc Rey Kenobi for the last time. Spicy!

stuck in colder weather by redbelles

Professor Ren stops grad student Rey from biking home in a snow storm. And takes her to his home. You can guess where this goes 😉

Between Sky and Sea by nessalk

Serious Indiana Jones vibes with a Caribbean flair. Painstakingly researched, and moments of true beauty and joy.

But Before Tomorrow by Kate_Reid

Such good writing. Canonverse.

The Sword of Prince Hector by englishable

Exploration of what redemption might feel like for Ben, canonverse. 

if compassion be the breath of life, breathe on me by Victoryindeath2

All the angst and unknowns that we were left with in the wake of TLJ are soothed in this canonverse piece.

build a ladder to the stars by redbelles

An exploration of events post-Crait. Fantastic, beautifully written.

nor are we forgiven (which brings us back) by TolkienGirl

Both Kylo and Rey get to see what life would have been like if they both got exactly what they thought they wanted after TLJ. Fascinating read. 

Forsworn by Erulisse17

This Mando/ST crossover has everything you could want--action, witty banter, space romance! So much fun!

Reylo Favorites & Classics

One Shots

59 Minutes by delia-pavorum (literaryminded)

For Science by KyloTrashForever, ohwise1ne

He Made It Through the Wilderness (somehow he made it through) by LovesBitca8

light carries on endlessly by lachesisgrimm (olga_theodora)

Grey by ocjones

The Idiot's Guide to Flirting by Violetwilson

High School/College AU

I Caught Fire by KyloTrashForever

Mountain Springs High School by animal

Epithumia by pontmercy44

Soul Searching by OptimisticBeth

Office/Workplace AU

Sensual Storytime by andabatae

The Food of Love by LovesBitca8

Historical/Dystopia AU

Hiraeth by Ferasha

a manner of virtue by neonheartbeat

The lamb's thirst by animal

Wanted by Inmyownidiom

She Who Would be Queen by sasstasticmad

go i know not whither and fetch i know not what by voicedimplosives

ABO

Knot My First Time by KyloTrashForever

Canonverse/Canon-divergent

variations on a theme of you by diasterisms (Reydar)

i will be the wolf by diasterisms

Sky Marked Souls by AnonymousMink

The Death of Kylo Ren by nymja

World In My Eyes by sasstasticmad

i'm always in this twilight (in the shadow of your heart) by diasterisms

Catch Me I’m Falling by violethoure666

Sword of the Jedi by diasterisms

You'll Be the One to Turn by postedbygaslight

Dark Crown by Violetwilson

Harry Potter AU

Nocturnal Studies And Other Peculiar Magic by WaterlilyRose

Otherwise Modern AU

Pretense by Celia_and

Insta-heart by slipgoingunder

Serotonin and Dopamine by pontmercy44

The Elusive Mating Dance of the Porgus Adorabilis by andabatae

Hanging by a Moment by crossingwinter

WAR DOGS by fulcrumstardust

miles from where you are by Mooncactus

Charcoal by luvkurai

Stay by jeeno2

coarse and rough and irritating by frak-all (or_ryn)

Blades Crossed by the-reylo-void (Anysia)

Embers by sciosophia

Mitan, Midi by animal

Janus by englishable

Say My Name by Graendoll

Thank You for The Music by hipgrab (merrymegtargaryen)

darling, so it goes by akosmia

This is the Sign You've Been Looking For by RebelRebel

Broken Things by midnightbluefox

One-Night Stand by delia-pavorum (literaryminded)

The Rebel Side of Heaven by jeeno2

On The Bumpy Road (To Love) by violethoure666

we could plant a house, we could build a tree by Like_A_Dove

I’d Like My Obituary to Hint at a Sequel by Violetwilson

Only If You Want To by Violetwilson

Not Reylo, Still Awesome

Gingerflower/Gingerrose, Armitage Hux/Rose Tico 

Between Sand and Sea by Brit Hux-Tico (birchwoods01)

If Ever I Would Leave You by Weddersins

Her Yellow Rainboots by Weddersins

Merrical, Cal Kestis/Merrin (Jedi: Fallen Order)

The Stars Alight by FlyingMachine

Heavy Ice by FlyingMachine

Caltrilla, Cal Kestis/Trilla Suduri (Jedi: Fallen Order)

No One Else by xanderwilde

call it what you want by xanderwilde

tear you to pieces by xanderwilde

Dramione, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy (Harry Potter Universe)

Now Is A Gift by SenLinYu

Sex and Occlumency by Graendoll

Zutara, Katara/Zuko (Avatar: the Last Airbender)

oracle bones by an orphaned account

Fics by Me

Virtue Ethics

Reylo College AU (completed)

Dr. Ben Solo, adjunct philosophy professor and part-time martial arts instructor, discovers a young woman in his Intro to Philosophy course whom he thinks may not actually be enrolled at the University.

Chiasmus

Reylo Role-reversal canonverse AU (WIP)

Scourge of the galaxy, Kira Ren, is tasked by the First Order to eliminate the last of the Jedi. When she captures hotshot podracer Ben Solo to extract Luke Skywalker’s location from him, things do not go according to plan. 

This Dance of Light, This Sacred Blessing

Snapshots of a modern Reylo AU. Smutty, prosey one-shot.

Listen Up, Kid

Canonverse Reylo Post TLJ one-shot

The ghosts of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren's past are back to haunt him with a vengeance. A well-meaning, familial kind of vengeance. Or, A Star Wars Carol.

Ben’s Body

Reylo Modern AU (completed)

Rey is an up and coming sculptor specialising in human shape and form. Her new next door neighbour has a body to die for and she's determined to preserve it in marble forever. Now she just has to convince dashing and reclusive Ben to model for her. Preferably naked.

Growin’ Up

Reylo High School AU (completed)

Ben Solo was supposed to only be ruining his own life with his bad decisions. Rey Niima was just trying to pay attention in class. Both get stuck in detention.

Seven Texts, 2 AM

Reylo Modern AU, smutty one-shot

Ben has good reasons not to have sex with his neighbor, Rey. She has other ideas.

Song of the Forest

Reylo Fantasy/BatB/Fairytale AU (completed)

Once upon a time, a girl with an unknown past appeared on the doorsteps of a lord’s manor, and now the forest at the edge of the lord’s property is calling to her.

A Season of Frost & Warmth

Modern Reylo P&P AU (completed)

When Ben shows up to a Halloween party with no costume, it only confirms Rey’s certainty that he is the world’s biggest jerk. Until it comes to light that maybe... he isn’t. 

Follow Me Home

Modern Werewolf Reylo AU (completed)

Rey gets stone drunk and brings home a big cute husky she found in an alley. The next morning, she finds a naked man built like a fridge sleeping on her living room floor, and no dog in sight.

The Gentleness That Comes

Reylo Modern AU one-shot

Underground boxer!Ben is resigned to his life of violence, until he meets a pretty new bartender one night.

Unlikely, Unbidden, Unbound

Gingerflower canonverse AU (WIP)

General Hux is imprisoned by the Resistance when the First Order falls. He had known his death was coming, it was simply a matter of course. He’s disappointed to learn the Resistance has other plans, and an unwavering policy of giving people second chances.

@thereylowritingden @reylofic @nancylovesreylo @grlie-girl @lilia-ula @greyforceuser @tazwren @mhcalamas

[hopeaterart]

Mario Odyssey: Paper Kingdom AU

Or: The AU where I adapt Paper Mario characters into a kingdom in Mario Odyssey because while my brain is small, it has a big mind that keeps thinking up new ideas. This tackles the kingdom’s backstory, it’s travel brochure, why Mario ends up going there, and the frankly ridiculous political context he stumbles into. I might tackle the characters in another post.

Backstory

A long time ago, a creature made out of shadows and thin as paper rose out of an island. Calling itself- or herself- the Shadow Queen, the malevolent spirit could wield the power of seven stars, and her heart was pitch-black and full of chaotic hatred. She reigned over the land with an iron fist, terrified painted shadows at her command.

Until one day, a small faction of her own people turned against, led by four heroes and eight mages. They studied her magic, and turned it against her, folding themselves like paper get close to her and stealing her stars to destroy her body, the eight mages using their magic to separate her heart from her spirit

Enraged, her spirit lashed out, cursing the four heroes into suffering the same fate as her, reduced to spirits enclosed in coffins just as she unleashed the full power of her heart. But before she could turn her wrath on the other rebels, the eight mages sacrificed themselves, turning their souls into pure energy and setting it on the Shadow Queen’s heart, ripping it out and sending both the heart and the soul of the Shadow Queen into a deep sleep.

The only thing left was a prophecy- a warning. If a cruel monster and a gentle maiden marry each other in a farce, the Chaos Heart will rise again. If this happens, the Shadow Queen’s rise is imminent, and she will take over the body of the maiden. The only way to stop her is to find her Seven Stars, and use them to destroy her soul once and for all.

The throne of the Paper Kingdom is left symbolically empty, and the country is ruled by a council.

-

Travel Brochure

Population: Sparse, but plentiful

Size: Wide

Locals: Shapeshifters

Currency: Paper fortune teller shaped

Industries: Construction, stories

Temperature: Average  73 °F

A craft for the ages

Multi-level: The Paper Kingdom is made of multiple levels carved within the plateau, and all of them have something to offer. From the charming beach town of Rogueport to the looming Castle of Chaos, this place is vibrant and full of carefully crafted layers.

Rich History: The Paper Kingdom’s history is something for the ages: A demon rising out of the earth, her own people standing up against her, a battle ending in tragedy, and a prophecy! And they know it too! Their own history is so rich and captivating, they transformed telling people about it into a spectacle. If you’re ever in the need of someone to give a grandiose speech, a Paper Kingdom storyteller is what you need!

Origami Festival: If you visit the Paper Kingdom during their fall season, you might bear witness to the Origami Festival! While considered unorthodox and dangerous, Shapeshifters recognize origami as an incredibly powerful type of magic, allowing one to become anything their heart wish. As such, they have festivities centered around this concept that lasts a week, where they put up tons of different and incredible origami displays celebrating the concept.

-

How it fits in the game

For it’s location, it would be a decently sized island between the Luncheon Kingdom and Snow Kingdom, and would be the last place you go to before Bowser’s castle. From above, it would look rectangular, and most of it would be very elevated (think of a plateau, but in the middle of the ocean.) While it would seem small at first glance, the truth is that most of the earth is hollowed out, and there’s a lot of communities that live underground. You would be able to visit the two surface ones (Rogueport at the base of the plateau, and Castle of Chaos (Equivalent to Castle Bleck) on top of it) from the start, and at least one additional area under Castle of Chaos would unlock after the main story.

As for it’s place in the story, a wedding needs an officiant, and Bowser decided to get a storyteller from the Paper Kingdom because they’re known to give quite touching speeches. Bowser was originally planning to make his announcement of his marriage to Peach, take someone by force if he got denied, and leave the kingdom in disarray as punishment for denying him.

So you can imagine his surprise when not one, but two storytellers volunteered to be his officiant: Dimentio, royal jester and local agent of chaos who’s starting to find the current situation in the Paper Kingdom boring because it’s stagnating (albeit because they want to stop the hostilities temporarily for the upcoming Origami Festival), and the Beldam, eldest of the shadow Sirens and actively trying to resurrect the Shadow Queen. 

Let’s be clear, here: Neither of them are really interested in Bowser’s marriage, but both are after the power of the Chaos Heart, which has the potential to arise from this union: Dimentio to create even more chaos, and Beldam to harness it’s power and bring the Queen back to life. He picked the storyteller who had actual experience with being an officiant: Dimentio, who officiated multiple noble weddings- and left a fuming Beldam behind. In her rage, she decided to make the King of Koopas not choosing her as an evil marriage officiant everyone else’s problem and promptly started freezing everything in sight.

And that’s where Mario and Cappy come in, looking for Power Moons...

-

What’s going on?

A few weeks before Bowser shows up, the wedding of Blumiere, the son of an important count, and his human girlfriend Timpani (I don’t know from where she could be, probably New Donk CIty), was happening. However, in part due to a sinister prophecy that foretold the rebirth of the Chaos Heart if a furious monster lord (Blumiere is not human, and he has quite the unstable temperament) and a fair and lovely maiden (Timpani is a bit shy, cares for everything around her, and is nothing but kind) got married, and in part due to being a racist fuck, Blumiere’s father tried to stop the marriage by lethally attacking the bride.

Big mistake.

Blumiere ended up flying into a rage, messily killing his father with his bare hands and the assistance of a surge of magic, and destroyed the wedding venue. He then took Timpani, who was dying, to the origami craftsman, who earned himself a reputation of defying nature’s law by creating Olly and Olivia for an Origami festival, which was. Not planned. He then more or less forced him to heal his bride. 

The craftsman was absolutely able to say no: Olly brought to life multiple office supplies and all of them are ready to attack on sight, but he still went and healed up Timpani, albeit altering her physical appearance permanently due to having to heal her up using Origami Magic. Olly does not take his father being threatened into helping someone well, and barges into Castle of Chaos two weeks later and self-proclaim himself king with the assistance of the office supplies, which he dubs his Legion of Stationery, because of a perceived disrespect toward his family.

He is twelve.

Blumiere- who renamed himself Count Bleck following his father’s death- is understandably outraged, and denounces Olly with the support of his companions. Said companions are: his wife lady Timpani whom he (and most of the kingdom) adores, a small bat-like woman and his spokesperson Nastasia, the strong but dimwitted warrior and champion O’Chunks, the robotic but emotional Mimi who works in banking, and local shit-bastard jester Dimentio. This is due to Bleck being a direct descendant of one of the eight mages that sacrificed themselves, and he’s forced to make a claim to the throne to be taken seriously in trying to stop Olly.

He does not want to take the throne.

So now, there’s a twelve years old and a pissed off count who murdered his father in a blind rage fighting over the throne of the Paper Kingdom, neither of them know what they’re going to do next, and no one is happy about this situation. The instability allows a third party to make an appearance and grab for the throne: The X-Nauts, a race of robotic aliens led by the tyrannical Sir Grodus. Their goal? Resurrect the Shadow Queen and use her power to remake the Paper Kingdom, and eventually the planet, in their image.

The good news is that neither Olly nor Bleck want the X-Nauts to succeed. Bleck because he knows they’re planning on resurrecting the Shadow Queen and he does not want that to happen, and Olly because Grodus’ second in command was mean to Olivia once. This means that they are able to put their difference aside, which means there’s still hope an all-out civil war can be avoided.

Speaking of Olivia, poor girl think her brother went evil and wants to reign over the Paper Kingdom like a tyrant. This is understandable, as he’s a irritable twelve years boy with six killing machine at his command and also starting his emo edge lord phase, and she’s a literal ray of sunshine. As such, Olivia decided to find other people willing to stop Olly, Bleck and Grodus from burning the country to the ground in their squabble, not realizing that, as the leader of this group, she is also making .a claim for the throne.

She is also twelve.

And now, there’s Beldam losing her shit over being turned down and freezing everything into unmoving sheets on the walls. Ironically, this common enemy might just be what’s needed to calm everyone down.

[fandomsonrequests]

𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖊𝖑𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓..? [𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 6]

fandom: ATEEZ

characters: prince! park seonghwa

reader: fem! knight

word count: 2.9k+

summary:  It was time for another Selection. No- not a Selection for a bride but rather a well-trained knight to keep Prince Seonghwa safe after a failed assassination attempt. You, a blacksmith’s daughter, manage to make it to the elite group of knights worthy and skilled enough to protect the crown prince after months and months of training. This alone catches Seonghwa’s eyes- in more ways than one

a/n: whoooo- so i’m back. i’m sorry for not updating as much :’)) school has really been kicking my ass. how’s quarantine for you all? do you have physical or online classes? either way, i hope you’re all staying safe and constantly hydrating! <3

taglist: @iwanttohitmyself​ @barcelona-sergei​ @minihongjoong​ @i-purrple-u @taetae123094 @jeonartemis @jibaxja​

↞previous  ♛  next↠

“So that was an experience,” Siyeon says as she loops her arm with yours, following Mina to their shared quarters with the rest of the girls. 

You nodded in agreement, trying to keep note of all the twists and turns you took and memorizing them for future use. “I still can’t believe that Hae-seong guy is going to tutor us about the kingdom’s laws.” You grimaced. 

“Ugh, tell me about it,” Your friend sighs. “I bet that guy likes to pick on the others- or flunk them on purpose.”

“He definitely seems like it.” 

You and the rest of the group stopped at a hallway that’s parallel to a large window, designed with stained glass roses creeping up the sides. You could see the whole courtyard and the other roofs of the palace from this spot. It was quite a breathtaking view, but you imagined that it was even more beautiful at sunset. 

“Here you are,” Mina says in her tiny but clear voice as she opened the doors to the quarters. “I’ll be fetching you from now on to avoid any of you getting lost in the palace. You’ll be fitted for your uniforms later before the feast. In the meantime, you must wear what you have brought to training.” 

The room was huge. There were around twenty girls in the group but the room could fit more than that. The whole room was probably as big as your whole damn house. 

Soft beds lined the walls, a narrow but tall window in between each space separating the beds. Trunks carved with intricate designs and gold encrustations on the side were settled at the foot of each bed. This was probably where they were to put their things in as the days continued. Candlesticks were sat on top of the simple but marble bedside tables for each bed. 

All of you couldn’t help but gawk at the whole place, making Mina chuckle under her breath. To her, it was a normal thing to see but seeing everyone else’s reaction reminded her other first day as a maid in the palace. 

“The beds look so soft..” Says a tall girl from your right. 

“I wonder how the uniforms would feel..” Another says. 

“Please feel free to rest and unpack the things you have brought,” Mina says with a humble bow of her head. “If you feel too cooped up in the room, you may take a look at the palace but I advise you to not stray too far from this wing. The palace is quite enormous.”

The young maid bowed once more before she exited the room and closed the door behind her. Several girls didn’t waste any time to pick a bed that they liked and start unpacking. You felt Siyeon tug at your arm and lead the both of you to a spot near the corner of the room. 

Idle chatter and quiet sounds of excitement filled the whole room, making it a little more lively. Several girls huddled together as they unpacked their things while others worked on their own. Some went straight to their bed and tried to sleep- it was probably an exhausting journey for them.

“Here, here.” She says when she finally picks a spot and settles her bag over the trunk provided for them.

“Oh wow,” You remark as you sit on the bed. 

It felt soft, so soft. It felt like those special marshmallows you had whenever you were able to buy some from the traders. You exclaim a little when you move up the bed, feeling it dip from your weight. You were afraid that you would sink right to the floor from how soft it was. Your beds back at Trelark we’re never this comfy. 

A few other girls, mainly from city villages, looked at you weirdly and giggled behind their hands. You tried to ignore them as a furious flush of embarrassment crept up your cheeks. 

“Don’t mind them,” Siyeon says as she moved from her bed to yours. “You know what city girls are like.” 

“Pompous and obnoxious..” You reply with a chuckle of your own. 

Your friend clicks her tongue and winks. “Exactly. But enough of that- let’s talk about the prince.” She says with a cheeky grin, leaning onto your shoulder.

You laugh a little and roll your eyes. “Really? That’s what you're interested in?” You ask as you gently nudge her off of you. 

“Oh come on,” She retorts. “He’s handsome, isn’t he? I didn’t expect that he’d be that… flawless.”

You couldn’t help but agree. You heard from the stories that floated around here and there on how handsome Prince Seonghwa was. But seeing him in real life was truly something else. 

You tried not to gawk at him the first time you saw him, but he just looked so ethereal. His clothes were pristine and pressed, elegant trimmings and subtle glint of the designs embossed in the fabric shined under the light. He had a good combination of genes from both parents because the way his face was shaped, from that sharp jaw to his nose, one would think he was sculpted by the gods themselves. 

But the gold crown that sat upon his silver locks tied the whole look together. 

“Plus, he doesn’t seem so stuck-up and arrogant.” 

“Well,” you shrug. “It could be a front.”

“True, true. But if he were, you’d practically feel the arrogance radiate from him. He didn’t seem to give off any bad energy.” 

Siyeon had this spooky but amazing gift of being able to read people and sense their “auras” around them. There were moments where she was wrong, but most of the time she was correct. It still puzzles you how she’s able to do that but you suppose some people were blessed to have amazing talents. 

“Was that what your special gut feeling was telling you?” You tease her with a smile.

“Yes, and you know how my gut is always right.”

“Most of the time.”

“Most of the time.”

You two end your conversation there and decide to finally unpack. You needed to get some shut-eye after all this travel. 

~ 

“What do you think of the delegates so far?” Hongjoong asks as he brings a stack of books over to Seonghwa.

The two were currently in the palace library, brushing up on some lessons that the prince had learned a week ago. He liked to study some lessons from before to keep his mind sharp and to retain that knowledge from before. 

“They seem alright from first glance,” Seonghwa answered after thanking his friend for the books. He sighs and closes the one he was reading before looking up to the shorter man. “I really wished father didn’t require that all these people had to go. Some looked reluctant to even be here.”

“I think they’d change their mind soon,” Hongjoong replies and sat across his friend the polished table. “I mean, their whole family gets to live here in the palace and I won’t lie, that’s an amazing opportunity. 

“I suppose..” 

“And if that doesn’t persuade them, they could always drop out.” 

“I just wished I didn’t need all this protection,” The prince sighs and stands up. He folds his hands together and glances out the window to look over to the wing that held the delegates’ quarters. “I feel like a burden to people.”

“Seonghwa, you’re not a burden don’t you ever say that,” Hongjoong refutes and looks up at his friend. “Besides.. you’re more of a peaceful person rather than a fighter.”

Seonghwa couldn’t help but chuckle at this, the corners of his luscious lips quirking up into a smile. “I suppose that’s my fault. I did prefer my lessons over the ones Byron would give.”

The prince turned to his friend with another sigh and returned to his seat. He opens another book for his lessons. “I hope that they won't quit too early though..” 

~ 

You were awoken by Siyeon who was shaking your shoulder. “Hey sleepyhead, Mina’s here,” She says quietly as not to disrupt the maid who was delivering the news.

You sat up, eyes still blurry and mind foggy from being robbed of sleep, and yawned behind your hand. The girl’s mousy voice carried over to you when your head was finally cleared. 

“...please wear your most appropriate attire for the banquet later. I suggest you prepare now to avoid further delays when I fetch you later. The washroom is right across the hall.” 

Mina bows and leaves the room. Once more, chatter fills the room, and a sense of excitement and some bits of anxiety fill the room. Girls hop off their beds and start rummaging through their clothes to pick out something presentable while others headed over to the washroom to freshen up. 

You hear Siyeon humming as she goes through her clothes. She was the daughter of a tailor and a seamstress you see, so most of the time they made their own clothes or reformed it to their taste. She had quite a lot of presentable wear that could even allow her to pass off as a noble who liked to dress casually. 

Other girls, specifically from the city villages, had such lavish clothes. It was hard for you to believe that they were simple wear. 

You turn to your clothes. There wasn’t much variety to them. They all ranged from hues of white to black to brown. Fabric dye was hard to come by in your village of Trelark. The most colorful clothing you had was a simple dress when you were six. That was long gone by now. 

“Not much to pick from huh?” 

You direct your attention to the voice beside you. A girl with tanned skin and long black hair tied into a ponytail was looking at you expectantly. There were bags under her eyes and a few tiny streaks of silver in her hair, making her look older than usual. She had no malice in her expression thankfully; she just had a look of sympathy. 

“Uhm, yeah… is it that obvious?” You answer somewhat shyly. You didn’t think you’d be this conscious about your clothes ever. 

The girl gave a warm laugh and shrugged. “I have the same problem as you.” She said and gestured to her clothes laid out in the bed. It mirrored yours except hers had more skirts than trousers. 

“I’m Amihan, it’s nice to meet you,” She introduces herself and extends a hand for you to shake. “I came from Sinal.” 

Sinal- another mountain village. That made sense. 

“____,” You shook her hand and offered her a smile. “I came from Trelark.” 

“Ahh, that explains things.” She grins and pulls her hand away. “I was originally from Rako, you know, the farming village. But my family had to transfer to Sinal after that drought.”

Several years ago, when you were still a very young girl, the north side of the kingdom had experienced a terrible drought. Many people had suffered- especially those living on the outskirts of the kingdom. Almost a fourth of the kingdom’s population was wiped out due to the lack of food and the violence of trying to stay alive arose from it. 

Your family was fortunate enough to be living on the other side, but you had remembered the flock of people that had arrived at Trelark in search of a place to stay and restart their lives. 

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” You say quietly, hands awkwardly hovering over your clothing. 

Amihan brushes it off and continues to go about picking her clothes. “It’s alright, it was long ago so it doesn’t really matter now. I don’t even remember what happened then.” 

The silence that follows after she speaks marks the end of the conversation. You were kind of glad that she approached you- you had a feeling that she’d end up being a good friend of yours. 

~ 

Mina came to fetch all of you after as the time for the banquet drew near. You were in the middle of brushing out Siyeon’s hair when the maid called for everyone and requested that they follow her to the dining hall where the royal family was waiting. 

That made you hurry your actions and toss your friend’s brush onto her bed when you were done. “Okay, you’re done. You look great- now let's go.” You say in a rush and prompt her to stand. 

The group trailed after her and headed towards the dining hall, meeting the group of young men halfway through. Their hair was slicked or tied back and they too were wearing their best clothing. Some looked like they dressed to impress while others didn’t seem to mind too much just as long as they looked appropriate. 

You didn’t miss the way a few curious glances and flirtatious winks were sent to each other from both groups, making you roll your eyes in amusement. All of you were young, you had to expect this kind of behavior would happen. 

“Well, don’t you two look great.” Raviv compliments when the delegates merge. 

“Thank you, Raviv,” Siyeon says with a proud smile and a bow of her head. 

Once you arrive at the dining hall, you couldn’t help but be blown away by the spectacular aura it has. The walls were lined with velvet while ivory columns stood along the walls to support the tall ceiling above you. Several banners hung along the walls while a guard stood underneath each. A large plush red rug lay in the middle of the room where a rather long and somewhat narrow dining table was, topped with gold silverware and candle holders. 

It was just like you imagined- only ten times better. 

A various array of delicious foods was laid out on the table. Some were recognizable but many others looked foreign and even exotic to you. It was definitely way better than the stale bread and hard meat you had to eat from day in and day out.

Your mouth waters from the delicious aroma alone. You only realized how hungry you were when your stomach growled. You clutch it out of embarrassment but no one seemed to notice as they were too entranced by the sight before them. 

The King and his family had their little table at the front with their food placed upon it. He rose from his seat and spread his arms wide to welcome you. “Please take a seat and enjoy the meal we have prepared for you. I’m sure you’re all famished.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.” Several of you say with a bow of the head. 

The second the King gave his permission to eat everyone quickly made their way over to the long table. Some tried to nudge their way towards the seat nearest to the royal family. Luckily, the other delegates weren’t foolish enough to fight in front of the king. Although, the poisonous glares they received from others were hard to miss.

You, Siyeon, and Raviv managed to snag three seats away from the boisterous people and found yourselves sitting near the end of the table. You see Amihan trying to find one for herself when you wave her over. “Amihan, over here!” 

The young woman grins when she sees you and makes her way over. “Thank you…” She says softly and nodded over at your two other friends to which they responded in kind. 

“Please, enjoy your meal.” The King says once more before sitting down and resuming his dinner with his family. 

You all dug in excitedly. Your tastebuds were met with an explosion of flavor. You try not to shove food into your mouth, you were after all raised with manners. You’ve never had anything this good before. Everything you tasted was so fresh and so tender, it was truly a luxury only the rich could have. 

By the time dinner was over everyone was full and satisfied. The once lively chatter dwindled to content murmurs and soft tones. 

“If I have another bite of that cookie I’m going to burst,” Raviv says as he leans back against his chair and wipes his mouth with the table napkin provided for them. 

You could only hum in agreement. “I don’t think they’d feed us like this everyday though..” You muse as you drink some water to wash everything down. 

“Ah, _____ let us dream a little.” Amihan gently pushes your shoulder with a small laugh. “But I’m going to have to agree with you. Even if they’re rich they’d still ration the food they have.”

“That and the kingdom’s taxes go to them so they can’t really spend all our money on this,” Siyeon added.

There was a fair share of corrupt kings throughout the generations, a couple of them being dethroned by the resistance of the kingdom. Although some ruled justly- one of these kings being Seonghwa’s father. There were still people that despised the royal family but the majority adored them. 

The banquet ends with words from the King before the delegates were dismissed to head back to their quarters and prepare for bed. Back in the girls’ quarters, several candles were lit as they all prepared for bed. 

Siyeon was already settled and snuggled down on her own while you sat on yours, brushing your hair out. You set down your course brush on your bedside table and move to lay under the covers, blowing out your candle in the process. As you shift onto your side, you feel the weight of the pendant your father gave you fall off your chest. Your hand comes up to touch it, allowing the memories of your family to give you strength.

Tomorrow is the day you start training. Tomorrow is the day the game starts.

[latveriansnailmail]

Favorite Movies as of 2021

Subject to updating because surely I’ve missed a few. This is not supposed to be a list of meritorious films but rather just a list of movies I genuinely enjoy. It runs from Shakespeare to Bill & Ted with heavy doses of 80s fantasy, superhero schlock, and pretty much anything with Kurt Russell in it. Enjoy.

1- Harvey No contest, my favorite of all time.

2- Big Trouble in Little China It’s always a great joy to introduce a new viewer to this film.

3- Flash Gordon (1980) In which they totally lean into the camp and low budget.

4- The Thing I watch this annually upon the first major snowfall.

5- Titus (Taymor) One winter break Titus would be on one of the movie channels each day when I woke up, so I watched it daily for a month and it didn’t get old.

6- Death to Smoochy “Are you alright?” “I’m a little fucked up in general so it’s hard to gauge.”

7- Blade Runner (The Final Cut) So there’s this dude Deckard and he hunts robots but it turns out HE’S a robot, oh so very clever, little film

8- Tombstone I recently learned that Kurt Russell directed this film in all but name.

9- The Dark Crystal Immersive fantasy, though I’m sure it appears plain, drab, and simple now after the Netflix prequel.

10- Somewhere in Time I’m a romantic, I guess. Thus all the John Carpenter movies.

11- Grosse Pointe Blank So good, I used to think I liked John Cusack.

12- The Producers (musical) You heard me. Wilder and Mostel were great but the musical version had decades to mill over and expand the premise.

13- To Be or Not To Be (Brooks) Surprisingly suspenseful.

14- The 13th Warrior Saw it again recently and it holds up. Horror, only it happens to viking warriors who would rather chop the horror down than run.

15- The Mighty Thor I mean, Black Panther is objectively the best of the lot but subjectively this is my personal favorite superhero flick. I must have seen it a half a dozen times at least.

16- Lost Boys A billion Chinese can’t be wrong.

17- Die Hard A Christmas tradition. As a postman, it’s cathartic for me to watch Christmas get blown up a little before all the hugging and sentiment.

18- The Blues Brothers Deadpan hilarity cut with performances by legends of blues and soul.

19- The Sting The best heist film. It keeps you guessing until the very end and no twist feels arbitrary or leaves a hole.

20- Interview with the Vampire Fun fact, I looked like Pitt’s Louis when I was a young man in the goth scene.

21- Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure “Be excellent to each other!” “Party on, dudes!” *air guitar*

22- The Seventh Seal See? This list has its high points.

23- Revolutionary Girl Utena Note: Read the entire manga, watch the entire anime series, and read Adolescence of Utena BEFORE watching this or you’ll be left confused. Dazzled but confused.

24- The Nightmare Before Christmas So good I got the tarot deck.

25- The Last Unicorn It’s still a damn shame they never made that live action remake. Christopher Lee was set to reprise King Haggard.

26- Chasing Amy Honestly changed my life.

27- Excalibur It’s weird though how they’re always in armor. Wedding? Armor. Dinner? Armor. Deathbed? Armor.

28- Ginger Snaps A cut above any other werewolf movie I’ve seen.

29- Top Secret! My sense of humor distilled.

30- Clash of the Titans (Harryhousen) Yeah it’s dry but then there’s the monsters.

31- Monty Python’s the Meaning of Life People are not wearing enough hats.

32- Shadow of the Vampire Nosferatu nearly made this list but it’s hard to pinpoint a definitive cut. Try instead this film about the making of Nosferatu with an actual vampire as the vampire.

33- Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust Look, we as a culture had the unfortunate experience of Twilight. This is the same premise but actually good.

34- The Last Supper This film challenged and changed me as a young man more so than any other work of art.

35- The Princess Bride The perfect film, but I’ve seen it so much it’s down at 35 now.

36- Blazing Saddles What can I as a white guy say? Just watch the movie.

37- Streets of Fire Always suspicious to me how Final Fight premiered within a year of this movie.

38- Gremlins More Christmas havok. Yum?

39- The Beastmaster Forgotten and underappreciated.

40- Ladyhawke A thing of beauty.

41- Willow C’mon. It’s Willow. I have nothing to justify here.

42- Speed Racer I know you heard it’s bad but hear me out: it is the strongest narrative I’ve ever seen on film and it’s exactly the way you played with your toy cars when you were little.

43- Angelheart You’re supposed to know that de Niro is Lucifer. The rest is mystery and the final reveal set up a trope that’s been done into the ground nowadays.

44- The Hunger More atmosphere than plot, but hey, vampire Bowie!

45- Zoolander My partner’s favorite.

46- Faust (Murnau) You will be shocked to see what was possible to achieve in film in 1926.

47- A Muppet Christmas Carol but a cut that includes the fiance’s song This finishes out my traditional Christmas films.

48- Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein Y’know, I’ve got two Branagh films on here and neither are what you would expect given his catalog. The other one’s Thor for crying out loud.

49- Highlander I noticed in recent editions of Vampire: the Masquerade that it’s still possible in that game to hide a katana in a trenchcoat. This movie is why.

50- The Name of the Rose One of only a few instances where I prefer the film to the book. That book loooooong.

51- Robocop (1987) Of all the damn science fiction, why must we be in Robocop?

52- The Prophecy Now we’re getting into films I demoted since the last time I updated this list. This film’s a slow burn unless you get turned up for angels and Christopher Walken like I do.

53- The Warriors Would be higher if the opening wasn’t so slow.

54- Legend Tim Curry kills it as Darkness.

55- Black Panther Objectively the best superhero movie and the Academy backs me on that one.

56- Wonder Woman I do wish they’d trot out Vandal Savage as a Wonder Woman villain.

57- Captain America: The Winter Soldier Just rewatched this one earlier! It is heavily marked by the height of the War on Terror.

58- Blade The ancestor of all modern superhero movies and a solid vampire flick to boot.

59- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Nostalgic for me? Maybe, but I hold that this is the first comic film worth a damn because they stuck with the comics when they wrote it.

60- Captain America: the First Avenger This movie is a real test of character. If someone doesn’t like Cap it’s because they think goodness is unrealistic.

61- Four Rooms Really just rooms 3 and 4.

62- Reservoir Dogs Hey, two Tim Roth films in a row!

63- Event Horizon Do you see?

64- What Dreams May Come Kind of an emotional ringer, especially after William’s death.

65- Monty Python and the Holy Grail Have I watched it into the ground? Yes. Is it still hilarious? Yes, and it gets funnier the more you study Arthurian myth.

66- Pulp Fiction I’m kinda over this now.

67- The Crow People who liked the comic passionately disagree with me but I still like this one.

68- Akira Still.

69- Ghost in the Shell Still, though the farther you get from 13 the less titties you need in your art.

70- Beetlejuice Why not? Let's just tack this on there.

Honorable Mentions:

Fight Club A suburb film but one I grew out of, as should everyone. If you meet a man who’s passionate about Fight Club, run!

American Psycho Ditto. I grew out of this but it’s still excellent.

What’s Eating Gilbert Grape A horrible caricature of my brother’s life. I don’t get along with my brother any more.

Rocky Horror Picture Show Not actually a good film if you watch it straight with no commentary. Still, it’s a cornerstone of queer culture.

Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2 Of all the superhero films, this is the one that resonated with me the most. I was in a weird place at the time. It still resonates with me now because I’m a foster dad.

[animebw]

Binge-Watching: Revolutionary Girl Utena, Episodes 16-18

In which violation metaphors abound, Utena’s ideals crash into reality, and we plunge into the show’s darkest moment yet.

Rip My Heart Out

The first arc of Utena wasn’t particularly dark. It had some chilling moments and depressing turns, but for the most part, it was a standard duel-of-the-week type structure to introduce us to our main cast one clash of steel at a time. The Black Rose arc doesn’t really deviate from that structure; it’s another series of mostly episodic character studies, climaxing with a duel on most occasions. But that one additional wrinkle of who we’re focusing on ends up charging this entire storyline with a palpable sense of horror. See, while the first set of duels built up the motivations of each individual council member, this new set of duels builds up the relationships those members have to the people they’re closest to. In mathematical terms, if Utena and Anthy are the base equation, then the student council is the derivative of that equation, and these new duelists are the derivative of that derivative. Which means while the council’s goal was to take possession of a single girl whose purpose was to, well, be a possession for them to fight over, the Black Rose duelists are trying to take possession of the council members themselves. It’s twisting the council’s sentiments back onto them: what if someone tried to control you as you’ve tried to control the Rose bride? What if that person was someone you were close to, or was important to you? What if those strong feelings suddenly became a prison trapping you, as the person you care for abuses your connection with them for their own selfish ends?

And in taking that extra step, Utena pushes the disquieting undercurrents of the whole “loss of autonomy” theme to some pretty unnerving places. It’s really chilling how much it feels like a violation whenever one of the council members gets a sword yanked out of their chest for their loved one to use. Their feelings for this person are literally being torn from their heart and used as a weapon for someone they thought they could trust to exert control over them. And yes, the assault/violation/abuse connotations of that concept are entirely intentional. The council members talk about being “sword-raped” as if it was a sexual act (blushing, asking “Did it hurt?”). Tsuwabaki explicitly says that tearing out Nanami’s swords will help make him an adult, after an episode of build-up where he comes to think of growing up as doing romantic/sexual things. When possessed, Shiori gloats about how she’s the one controlling Juri because she’s always been the one in Juri’s thoughts, and all the while she’s literally controlling Juri by wielding her as a sword. As obtuse as Ikuhara can be, the symbolism here could not be clearer. The battles of the Black Rose are all centered around unhealthy, toxic relationships between friends, family members, romantic partners, and loved ones of all stripes. The new duelists feel so possessive towards their respective student council partners that they literally strip their bodily autonomy away to fight in a duel that they think will make said partners bend to their every will. And the means by which they do so can stand in for coercive abuse, sexual assault, or any other means of control that an intimate partner can use to violate one’s privacy and personhood.

The Heart’s Parasite

That’s dark. That’s really dark. If it wasn’t all couched behind convenient symbolism and interspersed with lighter moments, that would be enough darkness to choke on. And because of the familiarity we’ve built with the student council members in the first act, we have a foundation to understand their own roles in these broken relationships. Juri felt betrayed by Shiori; even if she was never in love with the guy Shiori hooked up with to spite her, she still lost the person she loved the most thanks to her actions. She wanted to cast her crush out of her life, to abandon her belief that a miracle would strike and let them be together. But she still kept the locket with her picture; she couldn’t surrender those feelings so easily. And now, once again, Shiori is back in her life, and not even finally summoning up the guts to throw the locket away can bury the feelings her return made resurface (side note, how did the locket get from the lake to Shiori’s vase of symbolic orange flowers? Black Rose must work fast). There’s a lot of haunting cinematography that really sells the pain of that separation. A still shot holds on Shiori’s yearning face for a good ten seconds, almost an Evangelion-esque “shut up and let the feelings sink in” sort of deal. When Juri tries to cut Shiori off later, she’s framed in complete darkness with the window shutters of the foreground, heading into the darkness while Shiori still beckons her from the light behind her. They’ve reached an impasse for now, but I suspect the complicated feelings bubbling up between them are far from resolved. We’ve got one more turn around this dance before Juri finally figures out what she wants their relationship to be.

And the same can be said of Nanami and Tsuwabaki. What’s chilling to realize is that Nanami’s treatment of her young boy-toy is eerily like Touga’s treatment of her. She uses Tsuwabaki’s feelings for her as a tool to make him do whatever she wants of him; the only difference is that both she and Tsuwabaki are aware that’s what’s going on. But just because the unhealthiness in their relationship is far more blunt doesn’t make it any less unhealthy. I don’t think Nanami’s intentionally mimicking her brother, but like so much of her life, Touga;s influence has poisoned the way she thinks and acts without her even realizing. So when Tsuwabaki starts resenting the way she treats him and rushes recklessly into wanting to “grow up” in the most shallow, dangerous way possible, all she can do is tell him that she likes him the way he is and he doesn’t need to grow up. But the framing of that scene, placing them on complete opposite sides of a door and never in the same shot, reveals just how wide the divide between them has grown. Tsuwabaki might need to learn to take no for an answer, but Nanami does herself no favors by taking advantage of his insecurities. If the older kids in his life, Utena and Anthy included, had been any more considerate about his needs and given him better advice on what growing up really means, maybe he wouldn’t have based his dream of maturity around “getting some” to the point where even failing to go for an indirect kiss sends him spiraling further into darkness.

Cruel Innocence

Of course, that would depend on said older kids actually knowing enough themselves to give smart advice about growing up. And what’s become clear in these episodes is that, well, they don’t. They’re still middle school kids, after all; there’s so much about life and the world they haven’t got to experience. Their perspective is limited, and that makes it hard of them to tackle the more complex emotional problems that are starting to crop up. Utena, in particular, is getting a hefty dose of reality in realizing that she’s far less capable than she thought of dealing with everyone’s problems. She’s always been somewhat of a classic shonen protagonist, a spunky, lively idiot who doesn’t always have the best grasp of what’s going on but tries their best regardless and succeeds through hard work and pure determination. And when she was just fighting to stop creeps from basically kidnapping Anthy, that determination paid off. But remember how incapable she was of figuring out how to make Anthy value autonomy on her own terms? Utena could save her from everyone trying to hurt her, but when it came to untangling her deep-seated complexes and social indoctrination resulting in a complete lack of self-worth, she could only do so much. You can’t fight emotional trauma to the death. You can’t fix a broken relationship by simply trying your hardest when neither side is fully healthy being around the other. You can’t help someone grow up when you’re not even sure what it means to grow up yourself. A prince is good at slaying dragons and rescuing princesses, but the difficulties of human interaction are a foe that requires much more difficult skills to defeat.

Juri really sums it up best: Utena has a kind of cruel innocence about her. She believes in doing the right thing and always does her best to do so, but she doesn’t always realize when she’s in over her head and doing more harm than good. Her bluntness and determination is definitely a strength- she has no chill when calling out Nanami for her cowbell-related foolishness in episode 16 while everyone else awkwardly tries to step around the issue for fear of damaging her ego- but blundering through a delicate situation with no idea of what the real issue is or how to fix it only makes things worse. Even goddamn Akio has enough life experience to rightfully point out where she’s falling short, though he certainly doesn’t shy away from feeding her bullshit in the process: ”A star loses its brilliance as it burns on and on. Perhaps people are the same way.” Yeah, sure, people only get weaker and less valuable as they age, whatever you say, jackass. And that’s really the danger, isn’t it? Characters like Akio and Touga are older and more mature than most of our protagonists, and they leverage that experience gap to manipulate the kids exactly where they want them to go. Utena’s cruel innocence, Juri’s emotional paralysis, Nanami’s tunnel vision... the blinders of youth and inexperience make these kids the perfect victims for the older characters to exploit them for their own purposes. And unless Utena’s able to shape up and grow up on her own terms, there’s no telling what dark places this web of coercion will drag her down into.

HELP

But so be it. Whatever places the story goes from here, I know I’ll be able to stomach it. Because no matter how dark, disturbing, or fucked up Revolutionary Girl Utena becomes in the future, at least I can rest assured it will never top the mind-numbing horror of episode 16. Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between, I have never known such terror as I have known this day I witnessed Nanami transform into a cow after wearing a cowbell on her neck as a fashion statement ignorant of its true purpose. This episode could have gone in so many directions. It could have explored Nanami’s pathological desire to be validated by those around her, imagining she is being looked on in awe despite all evidence to the contrary. It could have explored the idea of breaking convention in what clothes you wear as an expression of your own unique spirit, in defiance of what society says you’re supposed to look like (Nanami even brings up the comparison between her wearing a cowbell and Utena wearing a boy’s uniform). But instead, this episode’s true purpose is to witness an unholy transmutation of homo sapiens to bos taurus. For what purpose this dark ritual was devised, I know not. I only know that I have stared into the Abyss, and it has stared back at me with the face of Cow Nanami. Turn back while you still can, weary travelers. Rest not on this episode’s doorstep. Keep walking if you value your sanity, and pray for another shelter to find you. Let my shattered psyche serve as a warning to all who foolishly wander these parts: make not the same mistake I did. Gaze not upon the face of Cow Nanami. I beg you, let me be the last victim it ever claims. May God protect you as he can no longer protect me. Amen.

Odds and Ends

-”Yes, but I’m about to sleep.” God dammit, it’s me.

-See, I don’t think that’s Ikuhara being stylish, I think Nanami literally installed spotlight into the room for her grand reveal. What an extra bitch.

-zkjfhsdfj NANAMI YOUR DREAMS ARE FUCKING WEIRD MAN

-THEY EVEN TURNED IT INTO A DUEL WITH THE COWBELL ROSEBUD SURE WHY NOT

-”The last days of one possessed by brand names.” “Miss Juri, somehow I don’t think you believe that.” god dammit I’m cackling

-”I’m waiting for her new nose ring to show up!” ...HELP.

-Damn, up to the council room with no elevator. Things are really upending.

-Oh my god, even she wants to know what’s up with the watch. Same, Nanami.

-”I’ll just be happy if she eats this.” “That’s dirty!” did they just make a banana sex joke Jesus

-”Beauty alone will not win us the Rose Bride.” Well, at least one of you has some reservations about violating people’s hearts for your goals.

-”You can give blood when you’re 18!” dskjfhskjdfhsdfk

-Jesus, he didn’t even let her get the sword out! Rude!

The next stag beckons us, my friends. See you next time!

[cilliansaccent]

The Peaky Designer - Cillian Fanfic, Chapter 24

Hello, welcome back. Below is the next instalment of my fanfiction!

Leave a like or a comment if you liked it, or if I can do anything better! Please, it would mean the world and to understand if anyone is enjoying my writing. Also, sharing/reblogging would be even better.

PLEASE READ:

I will not be including Cillian’s family as it’s kinda weird since he has children lmao. Just a mention of his parents and a previous lover.

I will indicate in a chapter if there is smut in the beginning and before the actual scene!!

I will add trigger warnings if there is any!!

There is a variety of levels of swearing during a chapter, I will not hold back, everyone swears.

The timestamp for the Fic is now 2016 and onwards!!

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Background: Gabrijela Babic is a Croatian girl from Sydney, Australia. She is born in the year 1991 on the 24th of December. She studies a Fashion degree in a University with a major in Game Design as well. Her teacher in the fashion designer class managed to nail an Internship on the set of Peaky Blinders with the shows very own Costume Designer, Allison McCosh. There, she travels to London for under a year to learn how to be one, working alongside the actors as well the man she admires, Cillian Murphy. But, her platonic feelings for the man begins to grow into something more, and she wonders whether she should pursue them or let him go for fear of her strict parents and her three older brothers…

Characters:

Swantje Paulina as Gabrijela Babic (swalina on Instagram)

Cillian Murphy

Word Count: 5,235

!!Warnings!!: Mention of abortion near the end

Date: February 2017

Chapter Name: Maya’s Wedding Day

Brief Chapter Outline: The pair attend’s Maya’s wedding, it’s all nice and happy until Lucia ruins the surprise for Gabrijela. It ends with the following day after-party at Maya’s parents house. 

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It was an early start for Gabrijela and Cillian. They took another shower, Gab going first since she had to be ready quicker and she took her time when it came to doing her hair and make-up.

"You look fine without all of that on." Cillian mused.

She huffed, "Yes. You've told me many times. But it's only for these special occasions I'll go full out. Or if I'm streaming a game." She was combing her wet hair once she was out of the shower.

"I have yet to see you do a stream," Cillian said.

"Well, I do plan on a stream next weekend. You can watch." She giggled.

"Sounds like a good idea." He nodded and went into the shower.

Gabrijela dried her hair and worked on it. It was a half up half down style with a braid, the loose ends were in soft waves as her hair was like that naturally. She cleaned up her jewellery next, she had found some earrings that could match her necklace, they were simple gold sunbursts with a little opal in the middle. She still had that Claddagh ring on and admired it. She truly loved it. She popped on their shared music playlist as she set on her make-up. She kept it quite natural, when she would come back she would add more to match her evening dress. Her dress for the church was an off the shoulder, white top section with the skirt a rose gold with four big white flowers. She wore flats with a small heel.

Cillian was ready in his suit, he was fixing up his collar as Gabrijela came over and did his tie, "You look dashing, babe." She adjusted his tie and collar and rubbed down his jacket.

"And you look stunning." He held her forearms gently.

"Thank you. Can I take a photo?" She grinned.

"Okay." He chuckled and they posed before the mirror as she snapped a pic. "Oh, we look good."

"We do. A perfect couple." She leaned up and kissed his cheek gently.

They pulled away and she grabbed her bag, checked for anything she was missing and off they went. Her family were finishing up and the kids mucked around near the parking lot. They all greeted each other before they all got into their own cars. Her parents would join in her car, she would lead her family to the church.

Once everyone got to the church, they mingled with the rest of the guests and Gabrijela found her group of friends. They all greeted each other.

"How was the drive?" Elijah asked.

"Good. I'm tired since we left right after I finished work." Gabrijela laughed. "Don't give me that look you kinky asshat. No. I'm not tired because of that." She punched his shoulder.

He grinned, "Sure thing. Hey, I gotta tell you something though."

"Oh? What is it?" Gab asked.

"Before we all knew what Lucia had done to you and the shit she caused us, she is still coming to the wedding. Maya wanted to tell her not to come but she felt way to bad. You know how she is." Elijah said.

Gab sighed heavily, "Thanks for telling me. I'll make sure I keep away from her."

"No problemo. I think she's just coming to the reception so you got time to get yourself ready if she ever tries to face off with you." Elijah patted her shoulder.

"Yeah. Again, thanks." She smiled.

It was time to head into the church and she took Cillian's hand. Together they sat near the front with her family and friends. Ben was standing up at the front with his mates, looking very nervous. Twenty minutes passed before the bride had arrived. The guests all stood as the little flower girls, both Maya's and Ben's, walked down the aisle, throwing flowers along the way but were giggling and kept getting distracted. Then it was the ring boys who were close to the girl's ages, followed by the three bridesmaids. The music began as Maya and her father walked together down the aisle. She had a beautiful lace dress which had a Queen Anne collar and short flowing sleeves. The bodice was hand made and had little crystals sewn in the middle of the flower designs. She looked absolutely stunning and very happy.

The ceremony continued on, it was seriously perfect. Their vows were their own and it brought tears to both their eyes. Gab felt Cillian slip his hand in hers and squeeze gently. She looked up and he smiled at her, she returned it. She looked back when they exchanged rings... She wondered if she was ever going to get married.

Once the ceremony ended, the Croatian band started and played music as they walked out followed by the bridal party then soon after the guests. Everyone gathered in front of the church and took a photo, then a big circle was formed and the bride and groom danced to the music. People clapped and cheered, more photos taken and people congratulated them. The bride and groom eventually left to go have their photos taken, some people headed back to their hotel rooms or straight to the reception that was being held at the Hunter Valley Gardens.

Gab and Cillian headed back to their hotel with her parents in tow. They all relaxed in the garden as it was cooler, Leo had brought drinks and they had some. Gab stuck with her lemon lime and bitters. Music played from the boom box she brought along, the kids asleep, the air warm but not to much to cause you to sweat. Then it was time to get ready, Gabrijela changing into her other dress, Cillian helping with the lace back. She laughed when he gripped her hips and pulled her close, kissing her shoulder then to her neck. She tangled her fingers in his hair, "Don't, babe. You know what will happen."

"Just don't think about it." He said, coming to her jaw.

"Bastard." She was turned around to face him and she planted her hands on his chest. "I. Love. You."

"And I. Love. You. Too." He leaned in and kissed her softly, "You look really beautiful."

"Thank you. You look really handsome." She smiled and fixed his hair.

He took her face in his hands gently and he smiled, "Shall we go?"

"We shall." They kissed and pulled away and headed out and soon left to go to the gardens. It was done outside with a huge marquis that was decked out in a very boho, natural theme. Pretty lightbulbs hung from the beams above (which looked like branches), the poles were designed to look like tree trunks with curling flowering vines. The tables had three types of designs, one had the red wattle, yellow kangaroo paws and the eucalyptus flower with leaves sprinkled on the tables. The bridal table was similar but much more extravagant with flowers draped at the front with fairy lights woven between them and as the backdrop to.

Gabrijela took the stem of rosemary from the basket, it had a red, blue and white ribbon at the end and she pinned it to Cillian's jacket lapel.

"What is this for?" Cillian asked.

"All Croatian weddings have this. Each guest gets it. Tradition says it wards off evil spirits and that guests then give money." She pointed to the box. "Though, you would give a card instead of just dumping it in." She held the card up and grinned before she put it in the box. "I already bought her a gift, a Smeg Toaster that will match her other Smeg items in their new house."

Cillian chuckled, "Nice." He took her hand as they walked to their table. They were seated with her friends, Elijah at her side.

"Please tell me she won't be on our table?" Gab asked Elijah.

"Sadly she will be, but don't you worry. We got you." He hugged her a little and squeezed her shoulder. "Also you look fantastic. You both do."

"Thanks, Eli." Gab smiled a little before she sighed. "Ah fuck." Gab cursed when she saw Lucia walk in what looked like a much older man.

"Now that is a first," Karsyn said with a raised brow, he was seated beside Cillian.

"What the hell." Gab groaned.

"It's going to be okay." Cillian gripped her hand, touching her face, "I love you."

Gab smiled and touched his hand as Lucia beamed, "Hi guys! Good to see you all." She exclaimed.

"Nice to see you too," Elijah said with a tight smile.

Karsyn only ignored her and talked to his fiancee.

"Well, this is David. My boyfriend." She introduced the sketchy looking dude. Lucia told him each of their names before they sat down. The vibe on the table was weird since no one was really talking to Lucia. Gab kept her attention on Cillian, showing him something on her phone.

"So! Gab-gab, how have you been?" Lucia chimed in, beaming.

Gab looked up, "It's Gabrijela. I've been fine." She leaned into Cillian's side, gripping his thigh.

David seemed intrigued but he didn't talk, keeping mostly to himself.

"That's good. You like my handsome boyfriend? He's super sweet. He's also from Ireland to. We both have guys who got in common. Should hang out." Lucia nodded.

Gabrijela bit her bottom lip and took a quick glance at her friends who also seemed like 'WTF'. "Uh, don't know. I'm quite busy."

"I'm sure we will find a day! I'll message you. Did you change your number? Been trying to get back to you." Lucia frowned.

"Uh. Yeah-"

"Oh then please, give it to me. I want to organise a day-" Lucia started.

"No. I will not. I'm busy, Lucia. I have no time to meet up with you." Gabrijela already felt annoyed and she felt embarrassed for her boyfriend who was trying to tell Lucia to stop.

"Why not? I want to see you again." She pouted, tears in her eyes. "I miss you!" She cried. David grabbed her and hushed her, whispering fast to her and she was whimpering.

"Jesus." Gabrijela turned away from her, shaking her head. "I'm already fucking sick of her." Gabrijela felt that second-hand embarrassment.

"It's okay. I'm here for you." Cillian rubbed her arms gently then took her hands and brought them to his lips. He looked at Lucia who was staring at him with clear vile anger. He only looked back to his love and kissed her forehead.

No one talked to Lucia despite she was trying to chat up the ladies on the table. Very light conversation before she finally got the gist of it.

Eventually, the bride and groom had arrived. The bridal party went first in, each couple had their own song they danced to as they entered followed by Ben and Maya. They picked a lovely Croatian song and they danced together in the middle of the dance floor. Then they parted after it was done and took their spots on the table.

Their MC, Maya's cousin, welcomed everyone and complimented the bridal party and the couple before he sneaked in some jokes before he departed. The first-course meal was then brought out soon after, people were chatting, music was playing. There was going to be a live band, she could see it. She loved live Croatian bands, and these guys were good.

Lucia got up to go talk to some people she saw, leaving poor David alone.

"Hey mate." Elijah spoke up, smiling at the man, "I gotta ask, what are you doing with her?"

"With Lucia? Like anyone else, dating her." David sat a little straighter.

"Right. Right." Elijah sat back.

"I'd like to ask why you all gave her such a cold greeting. Are you not her closest friends? Especially you?" David looked at Gab.

"Was. She's no longer our friend." Gabrijela said. She wondered if Lucia had even told David why they never spoke. It looked like he was quite confused.

"That doesn't mean you should give her the cold shoulder." David frowned, "She's proven to be an actual lovely girl."

"Oh? So you know what she did?" Gabrijela asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Yes. She told me she made a mistake with sleeping with your now ex. She truly wants to make it up to you." David replied.

"Yeah. No. She did not make that mistake. She wanted it." Gabrijela scoffed, shaking her head. Cillian gripped her thigh, squeezing to remind her to stay calm.

"Have you ever spoken to her about it? She said you just dropped her." David cocked an eyebrow.

"Of course. I won't be dealing with people who cheat. I've dealt with people like that, don't need it in my life." Gab replied smoothly.

"But you should-" David began.

"Listen, mate. She said she doesn't want to be friends with her. Drop it. Besides, how long have you been dating Lucia?" Elijah cut him off.

"Three months," David said.

"Right. And you understand that she was causing some shit with us, as well?"

"Yes but-"

"No buts here. Just understand that she's cut deep wounds with us all and we aren't the type to just happily oblige her just because she throws a tantrum. You just saw it yourself." Elijah said, his eyes hard.

David frowned and glanced at Gabrijela and her man then sighed and sat back, arms crossed.

Gabrijela looked away and saw Maya looking at them, she gave her a smile of reassurance and a promise they would talk later.

It wasn't long when it came to the first dance. Gabrijela explained to Cillian the meaning behind the song and how much it meant to Maya and Ben. He found it quite romantic as they watched the pair dance. The rest of the bridal party danced until anyone else may come up.

"Shall we?" Gabrijela turned to Cillian.

"Dance?" He asked.

"Yeah. Come on, my love." She said as she stood up and took his hands. They walked to the dance floor and he spun her before he pulled her close. They swayed to the music, her head resting on his chest. She imagined them on their wedding day like this.

"You make me so unbelievably happy, Cillian." She said, her eyes shut.

His lips brushed her forehead, his thumb ran over her knuckles slowly, "I can say the same for you. You are truly a woman I love."

She loved that word in his accent, it made her shiver, "My Cillian." She looked up at him and leaned up to kiss him softly.

He smiled and they pressed foreheads. Maya made an 'aw' sound as they came close.

"You two are so cute!" She beamed and broke away from Ben to hug Gabrijela.

Gab laughed as she hugged her friend back as Cillian shook hands with Ben, "Congrats. You look so good! Ugh!"

"Thanks. Oh my god. I love this dress. It suits you so well!" Maya beamed. The girls gushed over each other before they danced, their men stood off to the side to talk.

"I have something really important to tell you and the gang," Gab said to Maya as they twirled.

"Oh? How important?" Maya asked with a smile.

"Very. After all the formalities are done we all meet under the willow tree." Gab giggled.

"Oooh, secrets. I love secrets." Maya mused.

They parted as the dance ended and they all took their seats once more. It was time to do the speeches, which were very sweet, a lot of tears from both Maya, Ben and Maya's dad and Ben's best man. The speeches really tugged at the heartstrings. Even for Gabrijela. Then it was time to cut the cake, which of course almost turned out into a food fight but Maya wasn't having it. Once the cake was taken away and people calmed down it was time to throw the bouquet and Gabrijela was up on her feet.

"Hey! You aren't single!" Elijah shouted.

"Don't care!" Gab stuck her tongue out as all the girls gathered. Music played as Maya swayed and messed around... Then threw the flowers. The girls cried out and reached for it... Gab caught it as she tittered to the side and fell down as she laughed.

"Woo!" She yelled as Cillian rushed to her side.

"You okay my love?" He asked, eyes wide.

"I am. I am." She giggled and kissed him as he helped her to her feet. "Now it's your turn." She said as Maya came over.

"You good? Holy crap you were determined." Maya laughed.

"Yep! I was!" She nodded as they took a picture together.

"What do you mean it's my turn?" Cillian asked as they pulled away.

"You'll see." Gabbie pulled him back to the table as it was now Ben's turn.

Ben had done a whole 'Magic Mike' kinda dance for Maya who was red as a tomato. He stripped and paraded around her before he got to his knees and went under her skirts. She laughed and giggled as he finally took out the garter.

"Up you go, babe. Go catch it." Gab whispered to him.

"Oh, God." He laughed and stood to join the boys.

"Don't you hurt him!" Gab yelled, pointing at Ben's brothers and cousins.

Ben also did the teasing before he threw it. Gab gasped as the group surged forward... Cillian came out victorious! He laughed as he was bear-hugged by the group and Gabrijela was called up. They took photos together then with the bride and groom before Cillian and Gabrijela began to dance. It was an old tradition that they would do this. They did a bit of a jig together and laughed and mucked around, people cheering and clapping.

It was time to sit down as dessert came out, chocolate fudge cake. Gabrijela groaned as the dish was set before her, Cillian getting some type of ice-cream and some other cake. "Let's share," Gab said and they did, going half and half with their dishes.

Gab waited when Lucia decided to leave and she whispered to Elijah and Karsyn to follow her. They all got up, including the wives as they walked out to the willow tree. Gab waited back as her friends had all gathered there and looked up at Cillian, "You still okay with me telling them?" She asked him. They had discussed on the drive that Gabrijela would tell her friends about her being pregnant. They both agreed they would do it tonight.

"I'm perfectly fine with this. I swear it. Your friends deserve to know and I am more than happy to tell them." He squeezed her hands.

Gabbie beamed and together they went to their group of friends.

"Spill it, girlie." Maya grinned.

"Well..." Gabbie glanced at Cillian then back at her friends. "I'm pregnant!"

There was a moment and Maya was the one who gasped, "Really? Oh my god!"

"Yep! I am!" Gabrijela laughed as she was crushed against her friend's body in a tight hug.

"Congratulations!" Karsyn and Elijah said as they all hugged each other.

"When are you due?" Maya asked.

"Don't know. Maybe October or November if my calculations are right." Gabrijela giggled as Cillian pulled her close.

"Are you excited?" Ben asked Cillian.

"Oh very much so. I can't wait." Cillian grinned and looked down at Gabrijela.

There was excited chatter among her friends, and they eventually found out they were all first to know before her family. That was another obstacle to get across.

"What's all this excitement?" Lucia had wandered over and looked at everyone, "And why was I left out of it?"

Everyone turned to look at her, "None of your business." Elijah smiled.

"Is someone pregnant?" Lucia continued, "Who? C'mon, tell me." She crossed her arms.

"None. Of. Your. Business." Elijah said again, "No one needs to tell you anything."

"I wasn't asking you." She snapped at Elijah. "Ladies? Someone gonna tell me?"

"No." Gabrijela frowned, "Elijah is right. We don't need to tell you shit." She said, "Come on, let's go back inside." Gab said and walked with Cillian, holding his hand.

Everyone followed inside, leaving Lucia alone.

The night continued with more dancing and taking silly photos in the photo booth. Gabrijela and Cillian headed into the garden again where they kissed under a tree for some time where things began to grow hotter until Elijah, Karsyn and Ben ruined the fun. Gab was happy her friends were super supportive of their relationship, the boys loved Cillian, they acted mature but also had heaps of fun.

Gab couldn't get her eyes off Cillian the whole time, and Maya kept teasing her about it.

"Shut up." Gab rolled her eyes, shoving her friend a little.

"Nah. Not when you got googly eyes and drooling all over yourself." Maya laughed.

"Sorry, can't help that my boyfriend is a total snack." Gabbie mused.

"And cheers to that!" Maya beamed and they clinked glasses.

The girls chatted with each other before Gab spotted her parents looking around before their gazes fell on to Gab and wandered over.

"Gab, we need to chat." Her father said with a firm tone. "Alone."

Gabrijela frowned but her friends all got up and left, Maya mouthing 'Come to me if you need it' and turned to go.

"Okay... What's up?" Gab was confused as to why her father looked so grim. And angry.

"Well, is there something you'd like to tell us?" Her father stared at her, his scowl was clear.

"Tell you... What?" Gabrijela seemed more confused than anything.

"Gabrijela, don't play dumb. We know you are pregnant." Her father snapped.

Gab winced and her eyes widened, "What?" She had no words.

"Lucia told us. You told your friends first without consulting with us." Her father continued.

"You should have told us so we can discuss whether you will be keeping it or not." Her mother added.

"Well, I was planning to." Gab restrained her anger, "But I wasn't going to tell you yet. I wanted to make it a surprise. But it seems you both are not happy I am pregnant, am I correct?"

"Of course not. I've never been happy with this relationship either, I do not see a good future with this man at all. Why couldn't you be with someone closer to your age? Why must you waste away your life-"

"First of all," Gab cut her father off, glaring at him, "It is none of your damn business on who I date. I love Cillian, for who he is. Not because he is an older man. I never cared about it, I care about how he treats me and how we are together. You should be happy he makes me happy." She said with a clear, hard voice. No way would she let her parents trample over her like this.

"And does he know about you being pregnant?" Her mother scoffed a little.

"Of course. And we have a plan about when I am due, he will spend the few weeks here with me. Supporting me." Gab straightened her shoulders. She wouldn't let them shit on Cillian either.

Her parents let out a sigh, "And through it? How will he support you here when he isn't here?" Her father asked.

"Of course he can't come with me to the appointments so I have Maya to help me with it. Why does it matter? He is dedicated to me and with this baby, he will do whatever he can to help me." Gabrijela said.

But the next words that came from her mother hurt the most, "Darling, I do not think this is a good idea. How will your child grow up with an old man who won't be able to keep up? I know this is hard but we can talk to a doctor about-"

Gabrijela stood, tears forming in her eyes, "How dare you! Don't you talk to me about aborting my child! Of all the people, I thought you'd be happy or at least kind about this! I cannot believe you'd think I'd choose to rid my child."

"Baby, what's going on?" Cillian had rushed over when he heard her raised voice and had seen the trio interact.

"I just- God! You are unbelievably cruel!" She was crying now, tears streaming down her face.

"Damnit Gabrijela, you are ruining your life! This whole thing is a mistake, why couldn't you just behave yourself?" Her father stood, "I do not accept what you have with this man, or what you are carrying. You are no daughter to me."

The words speared her heart, "I HATE YOU! FUCK YOU!" Gabrijela screamed and turned and ran off.

Cillian turned to her father, having had enough of this, "How could you say that to your own daughter?" Fuck being nice. This was his love and future mother to his child. "What a terrible thing to say, you should be comforting her and aiding her. Not turn her away." He shook his head, "I love her, I love our child. There is nothing you can do about it. I'd like you to reconsider your words to her and make peace if you have the heart to do so." Cillian turned and ran after Gabrijela.

Her parents were in shock but had not said anything else after him.

Gabrijela was in the bathroom, crying in one of the stalls. Maya was there, trying to comfort her and hold her. Cillian didn't care and came in, "Gabbie? My love?" He came to the closed door, he could see Maya's white dress underneath it.

Maya opened the door and let Cillian in, who gathered Gab into his arms.

"I hate them," She cried into his chest, "I can't believe they even had the guts to say such cruel things."

"Shh, I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere." He stroked her hair gently, rocking her a little.

They spent like that for a bit before he managed to walk her out, they headed out of the venue where he cleaned her face up, Maya and the rest of her friends there with her.

Though, Elijah was inside with his fiancée who was trying to calm him down and not go after Lucia who was smirking like a cat. But he didn't need to as Maya came over with her husband and told Lucia to leave.

The girl made a huge deal and a tantrum, her boyfriend super embarrassed as he had to literally lift her and carry her out of the place.  

When Gab seemed to recover, Cillian held her hand as he sat beside her, his jacket around her shoulders. "I love you." He said softly, cupping her cheek and turning to face him.

She smiled a little, "I know. I love you too." She rested her head on his shoulder and he kissed her head.

"Nothing will stop me from loving you. Or our child." His hand slid over her stomach.

"You are perfect, Cillian. You really are." She looked up at him, "My handsome love." She kissed him deeply.

His arms slid around her and they kissed passionately, "When we head home, I'll make you a fantastic bath." He murmured against her lips.

"Yeah? Will you be in there, a bow on your head?" She giggled softly.

"Sure, if we have one." He pecked her lips.

She was feeling a little better but she was still hurting, "Well, long as you are there, that matters most."

"Mmm, yeah." He leaned back in and kissed her again.

"Hey, come on you two. We're going to say good-bye to Maya and Ben." Elijah broke them up.

The pair stood and walked back in, hand in hand. Everyone stood in a circle as the newlywed couple went around to each person to say good-bye. Her brothers had already left earlier because of the kids and they had a long drive home tomorrow.

Eventually, they had left after another dance and the party continued on.

Gab danced with Cillian and her other friends, not meeting her parent's eyes. By midnight the party finished and Maya's remaining family cleaned up, as well as Gab and Cillian and her parents. Once that was over they drove back to the motel in total silence. Cillian took to the wheel despite Gabrijela telling him not to.

Now at the motel, Gabrijela didn't say goodnight to her parents and simply went to her room with Cillian. She undressed as he prepared a bath, cleaned her face and combed her hair before tying it up in a bun.

Cillian had finished with the bath and she wandered over, he was undressing as well and she couldn't help but watch him. "Sexy." She purred.

He laughed, facing her full-on, "That's you. Come on, let's get in." He said and helped her in before he slid behind her. He set up some music for them to listen to as they relaxed in silence. Cillian could feel Gab falling asleep and woke her up before he washed her. He got out with her and dried her and dressed her in one of his shirts and boxers.

Together they slipped into bed, him being the big spoon.

"I love you." She murmured softly.

"I love you too." He replied gently, kissing the back of her neck.

They both eventually fell asleep.

 The Next Day...

 Gab was glad her parents weren't coming in the same car to Maya's after-party at her parent's house. Cillian had agreed as well as they packed the car. Soon they were on the road to the country house where they were able to stay the night as well.

The party was only close friends and family, it was a clear but hot day. It was all outside but undercover thankfully. A Croatian band was playing and a little dance floor was set out.

It was nice, Gab thought. She loved weddings and always dreamed of being married to someone she loved, and she gazed at Cillian once more with that cute, small smile.

"What?" He asked as he looked at her, they were dancing.

"Nothin'. Just admiring you." She said. She wore a short yellow summer dress with white polka dots. She still had his necklace he gave her all those months ago.

"Uh-huh." He said and kissed her softly as they swayed.

The afternoon continued on with plenty of laughter, food, dancing, singing and drinking. The majority had gone home by four, but the party kept going well into the night.

Gab had fallen asleep in the egg chair as her friends chatted around her, and Cillian had come over to pick her up and take her up to the spare bedroom. He undressed her and went back down to say goodnight to everyone before he joined his love in bed.

She had rolled and snuggled close to his side, mumbling something but kept on sleeping.

He stayed awake a little, watching her peaceful state. He let his mind think and wonder, feeling totally blessed to have her with him. Tomorrow, he thought, he needed to go out to the shops and buy a few things before they left to go to their camping trip on Wednesday.

He knew what he had to do and he was nervous about it.

[grlfriends]

revolutionary girl utena review

ep 1-5

the plot is actually kinda different from what I thought ?? in my mind the plot was: utena was a girl in a princess school who each and every princess would be "conquered" (for a lack of better words rn) in a ceremonial duel by a prince who fancied them, maybe she didnt wanna wanna marry anyone or she liked Anthy already but anyway in my mind utena showed up in the ceremony with duel clothing and then, in a very brave tm like-scene, she would openly declare she refused to be conquered by anyone and tbh I'm not even sure how Anthy would come into the plot... but back into what actually happened in the episodes everything so far is very introductory and just showing what mechanics will be explored further down the line I think?? the op is really good too

also every boy so far reminds me so much of knights of the zodiac?? maybe it's just the design I guess...) and nanami can get these hands, jealousy is a disease and she's the sickest person on earth for all I know

dont ask me why bit I just feel like room of mirrors - gfriend has a very well fitting vibe for it but I'm not exactly sure why hm.... 🤔🤔

ep 6-12

ok so why does this school just have random animals around 😐 I could understand the horse but a bull and a kangaroo?? what ...

touga just says the most random dramatic things and then just casually says anyone who believes in friendship is a fool ?? the guy wouldnt last a day in the naruto universe tbh, he kinda irks me in some way but I'm not sure why so I'll live with this strange feeling for a while I guess

↳ okay so watching ep 10 made me especially kinda creeped out, I know I've watched only 10 eps so far but like can he fall downstairs and break a neck or something already ...

also haha what if I watched that bet on it fmv and gave myself a bunch of spoilers would that be funny or what 😍 this is why i cant have nice things yall.... hope my memory goes to shit when sleep so I dont remember about it this week while I finish it

I feel like the main thing on the episodes are parallels, one way or another I always feel like they're setting up parallels and giving me clues for a bigger picture and a deeper plot arc that is still to come and the bet on it fmv just made this impression stronger, also I wanna say it's done in a good way, one that is both mysterious (??) and "honey you've got a big storm coming" at the same time 🤔🤔 much to think about honestly

↳ just saw ep 11 and even though I already knew this was coming sooner or later it still felt like crap seeing utena lose to dick head, at the end of the episode when he says anthy was always just reflecting utena's own wishes for himemiya (in another way bc I dont remenber the exact words) it felt like 😐 bc yes I knew that (the way she was working her thoughts was simply a copy and paste of what utena was saying) at all time I kept those essays about anthy in my head, I dont think theyll be truly relatable to what I'm seeing rn but yeah anthy rights (even though I know you betray/cheat on utena down the line bc of the bet on it fmv but I'm sure you had your own motivation)

↳ saw ep 12 bc I just couldnt handle being in a cliffhanger and yeah it happened what I absolutely thought it would lmao not that it was that difficult to foresee but yeah, I kinda liked how utena did it for her instead of being like "oh I wanna save anthy from touga" and treating her like a damsel in distress (I know that's kinda her position as the rose bride for what I've been told so far and that this is a subject spoken about in many many essays on tumblr but yeah) bc so far she's been treated as a trophy and a way to get something else, for the green haired guy it was a way to see something eternal, for miki it was a way to hold on into his "shining thing" and for touga it seems (so far) like a way to manipulate (just like he does with nanami) and just mark his position as above everyone else as he seems to view himself?? man I might be saying random stuff rn but it kinda does makes sense in my mind with the information I've had to this point

ep 13-25

honestly 😐😐 through 9 whole episodes I felt like they were trying to make the side characters deeper and show their hidden face and motivations but it felt so shallow...... not even actually shallow, just not deep enough that it would make me care about these characters and the fact there was no actual build to showing us why we're getting to know these characters backgrounds was just kinda meh too, didnt really help that all episodes had all the same formula and the same timing just for the developers made in those episodes be forgotten at the end and also just that pink haired guy could be like "ah failure again", it felt like watching the same episode over and over again, it was really tiring and like?? girl help I do not care about these characters at all, I feel like it could have been done well (like the keiko ep in comparison to the furuba chapter that deals with the yuki appreciation (??) club president graduating.... the way this ep was done and setup didn't really bring me any emotions) overall not to my taste and tbh I feel like I could have skipped all those episodes except for maybe the miki and juri one so 😑

all nanami focused episodes are the worst so far, she's so boring and I cant stand now annoying she is, the diary episode?? the cow episode?? the episode when tsuwabiki fuels with utena?? honestly I know they're trying to show me a better and different side of her but it just doesnt!! work!! bc i feel no sympathy for her, my biggest wish rn is her and touga just disappearing and no more filler episodes🗣🗣

I thought akio was utena's prince?? but apparently he's just anthy's brother and like.. I'm do done with his little talks with utena and yadda yadda, I just wanna see their duel is that too much to ask I'm dying over here (if this lenga lenga continues until ep 25 i will be so mad bc why were so many episodes wasted on such boring and and not necessary side characters backstories?? idc about them at all man aaaaaaaaaa)

↳ ep 25 was good finally we got what we deserve boys 😭😭😭😭😭 can utena just beat up akio already I'm tired of his ass, he exhales both "I'm a feminist I even take women studies classes #herstory" and "if she breathes she's a thot" energy also he has 0 style that mullet is simply horrible I bet there's a hairstylist community who considers him a criminal bc like 😐 it is simply so bad (q bit less when it's tied up but when it's all lose jesus Christ)

also touga thinks he's suuuuch a genius, sooo smart like king, I do not care about you at all can you shut the fuck up please and can we tall about the pink haired guy episode?? wack. honestly thought it would be more emotional or something, I binge watched 12 episodes with his ugly haircut face and did not even feel a thing he can choke I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ANTHY TAKING A SWORD OUT OF UTENA'S CHEST??? OSCAR WORTHY KINGS❗❗❗and then her lame ass brother being like "oh ho ho idk idk" shut up no one cares no one cares I swear to you no one cares shut uuuuup

ep 25-39

first of all, ep 25 was good but kinda reminded me of the nine episodes (13 until 21) where absolutely nothing interesting happened so I hope I'm wrong also can I just say just seeing the preview of the next episode made me roll my eyes so bad I almsot saw my brain?? bc yeah I'm fucking tired of nanami fosuced episodes she's so annoying oh my god nobody cares about a goddamn egg and much less one coming from her let her die or something pls she's so annoying there's nothing I've learned about her that was not against my own will I'm basically rotting over here 🤒

↳ ep 30 has me thinking Akio has a foot fetish or something 😐 bruh leave utena aloooooone I already know your plans and schemes you're not fooling anyone that's embarrassing for u and also... utena you're not very bright are you.... you start seeing every duelist you face with the same exact car and then when you see akio has the same car you didnt even stop to think about it that 1+1 equals 2 ... girl help yourself 😐

↳ yet again another nanami focused ep 😐😐😐😐😐 even though I do understand her better now I still don't find her particularly enjoyable to watch, call me a woman hater but like. idk she's still a bit annoying to me (but touga is straight up evil and is manipulating her so I feel bad for feeling like that tho.....)

↳ ok last 2 eps to go but listen. I thought the akio duel would have happened much sooner, maybe on ep 33 max but well didn't this age well lmao ngl, it did seem a bit too slow paced for my personal taste but also I feel like there's a certain level of drama that comes with slowing the pace down....

↳ aaaaaa yall I'm kinda 😢😭 over the ending omg........... even though it took the best of me to keep going in some parts I still enjoyed the ending aaaaa I thought i wouldnt really like it bc I just usually dont enjoy this type of ending but stil 😢😢😢😢 wait for me utena 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 girl I cried and then anthy walking in the end god utena and anthy holding hands 😭😭😭😭 akio can suck my dick

there's obviously many things I've missed or that I kinda didnt really pay attendance to so please dont take this serious, I was just writing as I watched the episodes so it's more like a thought compilation than anything, still I can see why there's many essays written about it and why it is held as a masterpiece by so many people

[minervacasterly]

Filling in the Gaps in the Katherine Howard's story

"We do not know for certain if Henry VIII originally intended to keep Katheryn in prison for life. In January 1542, an Italian diplomat, Giovanni Stanchini, reported from Fontainebleau in France to Cardinal Farnese “that the King meant to condemn the Queen and an aunt of hers who helped her, to perpetual prison.”

We do not know how Stanchini came by this information, or what happened (if anything) to change the King’s mind about the Queen’s fate. A theme I was unable to develop in the novel, because it was written entirely from Katheryn’s viewpoint, was the possibility that Henry VIII did not want her to die. He had loved her so much, and his grief went so deep, that he may have balked or wavered about having her executed. He was lenient in his treatment of her: he did not send her to the Tower while her offenses were investigated, but to the dissolved abbey of Syon. He did not immediately deprive her of the status of queen, which he did only after her affair with Culpeper came to light. It was said that “he would bear the blow more patiently and compassionately and would show more patience and mercy than many might think—a good deal more tenderly even than [Katheryn’s] own relations wished.” He was unusually merciful in commuting Culpeper’s sentence—this was a privilege customarily extended only to peers of the realm. He kept six of the jewels Katheryn had worn; they had perhaps been her favorites. But the reformist radicals who dominated the Council and had brought down the Howards at a stroke were not about to collude in their restoration. Under the pretext of sparing Henry pain, they took charge of the investigation with zealous, unremitting thoroughness and a studied determination to find evidence of adultery. The Council carried out the investigation on its own, with the King sanctioning further action as necessary. Having raged against Katheryn in Council, then broken down in tears, Henry removed himself from the investigation, “with no company but musicians and ministers of pastime.” In his grief, he refused to deal with business, which allowed his councillors a free hand. He did not order that Katheryn be tried in court, but referred the matter to Parliament. In a speech to Parliament, Lord Chancellor Audley “aggravated the Queen’s misdeeds to the utmost,” as did everyone else involved in the investigation of her offenses. The councillors’ insistence on not publicly mentioning the precontract with Dereham, “which might serve for her defense,” shows how determined the reformist faction was to bring down the Queen. An annulment was not enough, for there remained the risk that Henry’s anger and grief would abate to the point where he was ready to forgive his erstwhile darling. In Parliament, the Lord Chancellor expressed Henry’s concern that Katheryn “had not liberty to clear herself.” After she was condemned, “the King, wishing to proceed more humanely, and more according to forms of law, sent to her certain councillors and others of the said Parliament, to propose to her to come to the Parliament chamber to defend herself,” which was unusual in the attainder process. “It would be most acceptable to her most loving consort if the Queen could clear herself in this way.” Clearly, the lords were aware that the King was hoping she would do so. Giovanni Stanchini had heard that Henry “meant to condemn the Queen to perpetual prison.” The Imperial ambassador, Eustache Chapuys, wondered: “Perhaps, if the King does not mean to marry again, he may show mercy to her or, if he find that he can divorce her on the plea of adultery, he may take another thus.”

The unreliable “Spanish Chronicle” (perhaps not so unreliable in this case) stated: “The King would have liked to save the Queen and behead Culpeper, but all his Council said, ‘Your Majesty should know that she deserves to die, as she betrayed you in thought and, if she had had an opportunity, would have betrayed you in deed.’ So the King ordered that they should both die.” At the time of Katheryn’s fall, Henry would not hear of taking another wife, possibly because he could not come to terms with her loss. He was unlikely, at his age and in his state of health, to find again the kind of love he had enjoyed with her; all he now had to look forward to were encroaching illness, old age, and death. Understandably, his councillors might well have feared that he would relent and take her back. Petitioning Henry not to “vex himself with the Queen’s offense” and to give the royal assent to the Bill of Attainder by letters patent under his great seal, so that the Lord Chancellor could expedite matters in the King’s name, reflects a determination on the part of the councillors that their master should have little opportunity to relent, and that the Queen must die, “specially because the King could not marry again while she lives.” The lords were already begging and urging him to marry again, doubtless hoping he would take a reformist bride, which he in fact would do in 1543, when he married his sixth wife, Katharine Parr. The lords had their way. Katheryn died, and the King lifted no finger to save her." ~ Author's Note from KATHERINE HOWARD: THE SCANDA QUEEN by Alison Weir

Alison Weir's series of the six wives of Henry VIII have been delightful reads. But none in her series has been so captivating and heartbreaking as Katherine Howard: The Scandalous Queen. What she does for Katherine is something many of us have been yearning to see in popular media. The closest history buffs got to see of an honest and heartfelt portrayal of Henry's rose without a thorn was in the BBC 1972 movie "Henry VIII and his Six Wives" with Lynne Frederick as the doomed queen. Yet even with her outstanding performance, pop culture remained adamant in reducing Katherine to nothing other than a vainglorious, mean girl. Alison Weir's novel is an in depth character study that makes her more real to us than any previous depictions of her in fiction.

Moreover, she's honest in her portrayal of these real life figures, particularly her prime subject, Katherine Howard. Some historians and novelists make bold inferences to fill in the gaps while others prefer not to take any stand. Alison Weir is one of those rare historians that takes a (much needed) middle ground. It is somewhere in the middle, amidst all the wild theories surrounding the reasons for Katherine's licentiousness behavior and upbringing where the truth lies hidden, waiting to be uncovered.

When it comes to the latter, some will argue that she was no innocent kitten and got what was coming to her while others go to the other extreme and seek to exculpate her from everything she's accused. Regardless of where the truth lays, it is undeniable that Henry's young consort was the less prepared of all his consorts to her royal position. Yet, as Weir shows in her novel, she was fast adapting to her new role as Henry's wife, stepmother to his youngest children, and royal hostess. Besides her charity to Margaret Pole, Countess of Salisbury, there are other examples of kind gesture where she didn't think twice about using her position to help others. But as it often happens in these real life twisted fairy tales, she became caught in a web of religious and factional politics. Her end was tragic, made even more so when it came to Henry's indecision to sign her death warrant and afterwards, her acceptance of it.

As seen in her author's note, Weir shows a deep respect to her subjects. It is not just Katherine Howard that gets a fair treatment. Everyone else in her novel are given their fair dues.

It is for these reasons that makes this an essential read for every history buff and aspiring historian.