#In my heart I know Glenn would have a Down With The Sickness shirt. Trust me

[hyperionshipping]

"here man you looked cold, that'll warm you up"

"Oh, uh- t-thhanks! Fuckfuckfuck!!!!"

[yannadere]

daryl dixon, shane walsh and glenn rhee (separate) reacting to their s/o getting bit

cw: loss, depression, unhealthy coping, suicide, angst, hurt/comfort

Daryl Dixon:

you're scared to tell him

he's lost so much even before the apocalypse, you don't want to hurt him

trying to distance yourself from daryl doesn't work at all

he just gets worried, which comes across as him being angry, and he clings to you

poor bby has abandonment issues

it's a few days after you get bit when you finally tell him, you already feel your health deteriorating but you hold up for him

you tell him when he's getting ready to settle for the night

bc evenings with you are when he's the most calm

"hey, daryl?" you mumble, and he hums softly, eyes still closed. "hey, look at me. i have to tell you something." you sigh, nudging his arm with your uninjured hand. "what?" he groans, finally looking at you. "i.. my hand isn't just cut, daryl..." you sigh, unraveling the bandages. "what'dya mean?" daryl's brows furrow, eyes falling onto the bandages as they fall.

his blood goes cold, and he sits up suddenly and grabs your wrist to observe the nasty bite on the side of your hand, between your thumb and forefinger. "damn it, why didn't you tell me?!" he snaps, stopping to take a breath as you flinch back slightly. "c'mere..." he sighs, pulling you into a tight hug. "i'm so sorry..." you whisper clutching his shirt tightly. "sh, it's okay... i... when you go, i'll be here."

"daryl... you shouldn't have to do that..." you close your eyes, tears slowly falling. "nah. it's fine. i... i wanna do it. i don't trust anyone else to. not even you." he holds you tighter, kissing your neck gently.

"i'm so sorry, daryl... i was being stupid, i-" he silences you, moving away and pressing his forehead against yours. "don't blame yourself. i knew something like this would happen eventually... i put merle down, had a feeling either of us would go next." he gently cups your face with his hands, wiping your cheeks and nuzzling his nose against yours affectionately.

"i don't want to put you through this, daryl." you cry, going to leave when he pulls you back. "don't leave... please don't leave..." daryl begs, pulling you back to him and letting your body fall limp against his. you let out a small sob, wrapping your arms around his middle as your head rests on his shoulder, tears dampening his shirt.

"it'll be okay. i'll take care of it. for now, get some rest. i'll be here when you wake up." he kisses your cheek, waiting for you to calm down. you sniffle, holding him tightly. "i'm so sorry..!" you repeat the words over and over, and he closes his eyes, trying not to cry himself.

"shh... please... don't be sorry." his voice wavers and he hates it. "just sleep, darlin'... i'm right here." you whimper before falling quiet, resting your hand on his jaw and nuzzling into his neck. "i love you, okay..? i didn't want it to be this way." you breathe out, letting him lean onto you slightly. "i know. i know. just sleep for me, darling." he sniffles, cradling you close as you fall asleep slowly, knowing it would be the last time.

you fall asleep in his arms, but he can't bring himself to harm you

so, he tells rick, who's also upset upon the news

however his best friend's distress makes it even worse

so, rick does it for him as the others try to comfort daryl

after your death, he becomes reckless and depressed, not eating or drinking at all and becoming skinny and malnourished

he shoots openly at walkers, and when his ammo's out he takes out his anger on other walkers in other ways

whether it's stabbing them, bludgeoning them, or just hitting their bodies after they fall.

rick decides to put him under close watch to ensure he doesn't harm himself

but daryl's rather experienced in sneaking out/away, and he visits your grave often

unfortunately one morning, rick finds him at your grave with a bullet in his head

he's buried next to you, as rick knows it's what daryl craved

to be with you again.

Shane Walsh:

you got bit on the way back from gathering medical supplies for carl

and with shane you knew there was no way he would take well at any time of the day

so you decide to rip the bandaid off and talk to him an hour after your own little grieving session.

you approach him when he's talking to the small group, asking him for a private talk, saying it's important

so, of course, he's worried, as are the group

you take him behind the barn and hug him

he's genuinely confused as to why you're acting like this

deadass asks you if you're expecting or smth

you hate to break his heart

"so why did you bring me back here?" shane asks, crossing his arms and cocking a hip. "shane... i'm sorry." you sigh, pulling the collar of your shirt to reveal the bloody bite on your shoulder.

he's speechless, blinking a few times before almost collapsing. you yelp, catching your boyfriend quickly, but fall under his weight. on the floor behind the barn, shane closes his eyes, crying as he holds you tight. "shane... don't cry. it's okay..." you try your best to smile, cupping his face and wiping his tears.

"this isn't okay..! baby, you're not okay!" he sobs, cupping the back of your head and pulling you closer. "shane- baby, stop crying... it's okay." you sniffle, smiling through your own tears as you kiss his jaw lovingly

shane tries to gather himself, but his whole world feels like it's collapsing. "shh, shh... c'mon, let's get you some water." you grab his hands, trying to pull him up. slowly easing him onto his feet, you help shane back to the house. rick spots you two immediately, stumbling to help you both. "shane-?"

"rick..!" shane is clearly distraught, and his best friend latches onto him quickly to try and calm him down. "shshsh- hey, look at me." rick soothes, and you stand back slightly, trying to calm your nerves. "what happened?" rick demands, eyes steeling as he stares at you. "rick- it's not-" you try to explain what happened, when shane answers for you. "they got bit! my baby got bit..!" shane sobs, knees feeling weak as he almost collapses again.

rick processes the information, looking at you in shock. lori overhears, muttering a fast "oh my god..!" as she approaches the three of you. "how did this happen?!" rick asks, trying to support shane fully. "i was in a rush, i got grabbed and..." you trail off, moving over to comfort shane who can't calm down at all.

"he needs to sit down..." you say softly, glancing at hershel who was observing from his porch. "come, sit him down inside. i'll get him some water." hershel guides you and you help shane in with the aid of rick. flopping down onto a couch, shane can't seem to catch his breath, so you crouch in front of him to cup his face, whispering comforting words to him. "baby... i'm so sorry, it should of been me..!" shane cries, and you hush him quickly. "don't you dare say that, shane walsh." you scold, pulling him into a tight hug.

"never blame yourself for my death. i wouldn't rest easy if you did." you sigh, smoothing his hair and kissing his temple. rick stands anxiously nearby, and you sense his worry. "sit, rick. relax... i've got this." you nod at him, and he nods stiffly, taking a seat of his own when lori pipes up. "when do you think you'll turn?" she asks, and you freeze. "lori-!" "i'm just thinking ahead, rick!"

shane becomes more distraught by her words, clinging onto you tightly. "shh, it's okay... i'm here, bubs." you sigh, cradling him impossibly closer. "the hell's goin' on?" maggie asks, confused as ever. "not now, please..." rick sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. "right..." she mumbles, leaving as hershel comes back with some water. "here, drink some of this, son." he nods, giving the glass to you so shane could take it.

after taking a few sips, shane goes back to codding you, slowly winding down. "there you go, just breathe." you smile, kissing him gently. "i'm sorry i couldn't protect you..!" shane hiccups, nuzzling your neck. "shh. don't say that..!" you sigh, holding him tighter. your boyfriend whines softly, and rick closes his eyes with a pained sigh.

you last a few more days before turning, spending your time slowly becoming more sick with shane next to you all the while.

when you turn, shane is devastated, holding your head as you stare up at him with discoloured eyes

he ignores how you try to bite him after a few minutes of your brain losing all memory of him, and his tears drip down onto your face

rick walks in, and sighs. he knew it would happen eventually... everyone did.

shane holds you for a few minutes. you were slowly gaining strength but he was always stronger.

the room is silent except for you little noises, and shane finally accepts this fate when rick puts a hand on his shoulder.

"let me do it..." his best friend gruffly says, and shane shakes his head. "leave 'em be, rick... just for a little while longer..." shane begs, and rick sighs, looking away briefly.

"you know i can't do that. if you or anyone get bit-" "rick, i am asking you nicely. leave."

he spends a few days with you in walker form, and it scares everyone. lori tries to convince him that you're not there anymore, a hollow vessel of what you once were but he wont buy it.

he loves you too much to believe anything like that, or hurt you. to him, you're still his darling, his everything who held him when times got tough.

you scratch at his arms, not even breaking skin due to your blunt nails, and he doesn't mind.

finally, with a few kisses around your pale, sunken face, and a final kiss to your lips that he forced closed- shane raises his gun.

he hesitates, letting you get the jump on him, but he grabs your jaw before you can do anything

the sudden commotion makes rick fly in, only to see you lifeless once more in shane's arms.

Glenn Rhee:

unlike the other two, he watches you get bit.

he's completely distraught as the rest of the group fight off the walkers whilst he makes his way to you

he rams the zombie with all his strength, knocking it down before shooting it

you've collapsed, sat back against the car door as blood seeps from your cheek, whimpering in pain and holding the gash with your blood-soaked hands.

he's crying before he knows it, dropping down next to you and carefully covering your cheek with his shaky hands.

he tries to reassure you, and himself, that you'll be fine and won't get infected,

but the sad look in your eyes confirm that you're not making it to the date he wanted to take you on tomorrow

as you slowly bleed out, he tries to tell you stories, to keep himself calm as you slowly die.

"hey, remember when..?" you're not paying attention, just admiring him as you move your hands to cup his face.

"i love you.." you croak with a small smile, and he smiles sadly, sobbing all the while.

the others have to watch, all waiting for the inevitable

"please don't leave me... please, i need you." glenn pleads, and you smile sadly.

he's pressing kisses to your forehead as you hold him close, your blood staining his hands, arms and shirt

"baby...?" glenn mumbles softly, sitting with you leant against him. "i'm still here, darling..." you whisper, gripping his shirt tightly. "i'm gonna miss you..." glenn sniffles, kissing the top of your head gently. "me too. i'll always be with you, okay. when i go, i don't want you to be sad. i want you to keep going, to find happiness again, even if it means finding love in another. i want the best for you." you smile, despite the ache in your cheek.

glenn breathes out as his eyes close, his tears still falling. "i could never replace you like that..." he whimpers, fingers curling into your hair as he holds you closer. "baby, don't cry... don't cry, because i'll cry." you try to laugh, and glenn laughs too, gently rubbing your uninjured cheek.

"glenn, we've got to, y'know..." rosita sighs, but glenn shakes his head. "no! we don't kill the living..!" glenn protests, his hold turning protective. "right, right... okay." she fakes surrender, walking away.

when you pass, glenn just knows. he doesn't even look at you. he can't bring himself to.

however, when you turn, he doesn't even bother to restrain you, just holding you close as you bite into his neck.

abraham shouts in alarm, shooting you instantly, and glenn cries as you fall, cupping your face and leaning down to press his forehead against you.

the group is distraught, but glenn just lets everything happen, telling them to leave him be, move on.

abraham gives him a spare pistol, and glenn takes it with a nod.

the group leaves, and glenn knows what he has to do. so, he opens the car door, slipping you into the car easily

he gets in himself, closing the door so walkers wouldn't chew on you or him.

alas, glenn admires the gun before pressing it to his chin.

[walkerwords]

“The Savior Sessions” Part 28 of 33 - Negan x GN!Reader

IMAGE CREDIT: AMC

SERIES MASTERLIST

Summary: Negan is slowly getting on good terms with the Alpha, the reader is slowly becoming desperate, and Alpha has a plan in motion. 

Word Count: 4243

Warning: Swearing

Song I Wrote To: “Little Black Submarines” by The Black Keys

Note: I am trying to finish this before the 28th when TWD returns. Remember, this will not go past the 10B finale. Some of these chapters are getting shorter, but that is mainly because Chapter 30, which is the hilltop battle, will be quite long! ALL OFFICIAL DIALOG IS PROPERTY OF AMC.

-------

"Well, that's...creative,” Negan said as he was looking at the disassembled body that sat at the Southern border. Negan thought the tiki torches were a nice touch even if they were a tad dramatic and that was coming from him.

It was early that morning when Alpha approached him and told him to follow her. Knowing his history with her enemy, she had asked for his counsel on an issue. Considering they hadn’t known each other long, Negan was confused but went along with it anyways. However as soon as he saw what was at the border, he knew what was going on. The other side had finally made their move. 

"They are declaring war," Alpha said, tilting her head to the side. Negan noticed that she did that a lot and it made him both uncomfortable and intrigued. 

"Isn't that what you did when you put nine of their people on pikes?" Negan asked. Alpha looked at him with a neutral expression. Negan shrugged, the bat on his back shifting on his leather jacket. Alpha had returned his weapon shortly after they had met. She said that if he had even attempted to try to swing it without her permission Beta would gut him within seconds. Negan didn't doubt that. The giant man was even more psychotic than Simon was and that was saying something. Negan was always wishing for a gun whenever Beta was around and he could bet that you were too. 

"The archer?" Alpha asked, her voice quiet but still very calm and emotionless. Negan took a few steps towards the dead man and kneeled to look at the body and then up at the decapitated head.

Seeing as there were no penetrating wounds that Daryl’s bow would have caused, Negan didn't think this was his handy work. Also, if it had been Daryl, he probably wouldn’t have taken the head off. Daryl was ruthless when he needed to be, but removing the head like this was too personal and if Negan knew Daryl even a little bit, he would have done something more simple. No, this was someone else. 

"No," Negan said, moving the body onto its back. The headless body reminded him too much of Glenn and Abraham, especially with the amount of blood. It was never a good moment when he thought about his victims, especially when he was portraying a persona who was supposed to enjoy the kill rather than shying away from it. Shutting away those memories, Negan examined the other wounds carefully. 

Looking at the clean cut at the neck and then the two hits to the chest and eye, Negan realized something. It was a clean kill with a sharp blade. There wasn't any type of torture or prolonging of death. With the depth and width of the strikes, he finally recognized the blade.

Jesus' broadsword. Your sword.

"Dammit," he muttered under his breath.

"Do you know who did this?" Alpha asked. Negan shut his eyes for a second before turning to her with his own neutral expression, not letting her see how affected he was by his discovery. 

"Couldn't say for sure, most of those assholes handle blades."

"Shame, he was a good soldier," said Alpha. Negan furrowed his brow.

"He was one of your men?"

"Sent him in to...gain information," she said. "Didn't think he'd be this foolish to be caught."

"Can't all be winners," Negan said, turning his attention back to the body. He had seen a lot of dead bodies since the world ended, but there was something about this one that was bothering him. You were not this...cold. At least not since he had gotten to know you. There was something off about the way you had done this. Anyone else, besides maybe Daryl, wouldn’t have noticed, but he did. 

Negan had only seen this deadly side of you a few times and it made him do a double-take every time. The first time had been that first night in the clearing. You were nearly out of it, blood trickling down your collar. 

He had just threatened Rick and was laying down the rules when his eyes had fallen on you. Dwight had to keep his hands on you in order for you to stay upright, but you were still hanging on. Your arm was reaching out to Daryl next to you, not quite touching him, but enough for the archer to know you were there. 

Your eyes, however, were switching from staring at the ground to staring at him. Negan wasn’t sure if you could actually see him at that point. Throughout his speech, his eyes kept flickering back to you as you fought to stay upright and awake.

When he killed Abraham, your eyes never left Lucille and the blood that dripped off her wooded form. It was only after he had Daryl pinned to the ground and Glenn’s blood was splashed against your face that you locked eyes with him and in those irises, he saw pure fury. It wasn’t long after that first look when you fell over from the head trauma. 

However, that one look was enough for him to remember you. The second time he saw that look was when he had brought Carl home from the Sanctuary. You didn’t seem to care about Spencer and while you were pissed about Olivia, nothing bothered you as much as seeing him parading Carl around Alexandria. While he didn’t speak to you, seeing your glare from the top of the Gazebo as he walked in had made him remember your face from the clearing. 

It was from then on that he found himself always looking for you when his people met yours. Little did he know that your talents with a rifle had you always watching him rather than the other way around. You were always so precise with your shots so he shouldn’t have been surprised to see how clinical you had been with Dante’s body. However, the idea of you removing his head and doing this made him a bit sick. Though, he didn’t let Alpha see a second of that. 

“How are you going to retaliate?” Negan asked. 

“I have something in motion,” Alpha simply said. 

“Can I get a hint?” Negan asked with a sly grin. Alpha just looked at him with her signature look and Negan raised his hand in surrender. “No worries. Gotta win the boss’ respect, I get it. 

“You talk too much,” she observed as she turned away from the border. 

“So I’ve been told,” he said, catching up to her. “Force of habit, I’m afraid.” 

“Tell me more about these people who held you captive,” Alpha said. 

“Not much more to say,” Negan said. “Their old leader is dead and their new ones don’t really know what the hell they’re doing. Got some good fighters, but they don’t have a central person. They don’t have an alpha,” he said. 

“Then they have weak spots,” Alpha realized. 

“More than one, I bet,” Negan said. 

“Have you seen my daughter with them?” she asked and Negan forced himself not to hesitate. 

“Lydia, right?” he asked and Alpha nodded once. “She’s around, seems to be alright.” Negan tried to get a line on Alpha’s reaction to hearing about her daughter, but like with everything, the woman remained stoic. He also then noticed some discoloration on her arms. It didn’t take long for him to realize they were the same wounds that adorned Lydia’s arms. Negan fought to keep relaxed as he remembered what Alpha had done to her child. You had told him about the abuse, it was one night when he had been able to spend the night with you…

Months earlier…

The cold air from the winter weather outside seemed to be seeping through the walls as if they were made of paper.

Negan lay next to you in your bed, his arms securely around your waist. He had only woken up a few moments ago and couldn’t help but watch as you slept peacefully next to him. These nights when Michonne and Gabriel found that they still had a heart and would let him spend the night indoors rather than freezing in his cell were his favourite.

Whatever the reason was, he was just happy to be there with you. With a deep breath, you turned towards him, slowly waking up. Your eyes opened just a bit to see him and when you did, a tired smile spread across your face. “Why are you awake?” you whispered. 

“Why are you?” he countered, leaning down to kiss your forehead. Being able to kiss you or hold your hand whenever he could, was the greatest gift anyone could have given him. Negan was desperate for your touch and whenever you gave it to him, he relished in it.

Reaching up, you caressed his face as he leaned into your palm. Even with the cold weather, he had stripped off his shirt, using his own body heat to keep you as warm as possible. Dancing your fingers across the tattoos on his chest, he shivered under your touch. Just as he was about to pull you on top of him, a noise broke the tension.

Confused, you both looked at each other before sitting up in bed. A second later and the noise happened again and Negan finally realized where it was coming from. Nudging you, he pointed over the side of the bed. Crawling to the edge, you looked down to see Lydia fast asleep on your floor, a blanket thrown over her as she softly snored. 

You and Negan shared a look then that said everything you both were thinking: the teenager was scared. Lydia must have snuck into your bedroom just as you both had fallen asleep. She had been staying in the guest room downstairs, but you now figured that she wasn’t used to sleeping alone. 

“Do we wake her?” you asked him. Negan shook his head, grabbing you again and pulling you back into bed. He slid his arms around you and tucked your head under his chin. 

“Let her sleep,” he said in your ear. “The girl has been through enough.”

“And yet she feels safe enough to sleep in here? She barely knows me, knows us,” you argued.

“She trusts you,” he said. “She needs you.”

“She needs someone who can protect her from her mother,” you said. “I won’t let Alpha lay another hand on her. She is never going to be hurt by someone she loves again.” 

“Her mother is abusive?” Negan asked and you just nodded.

“Shit,” he swore, pressing his nose into the back of your neck. 

“I have to protect her, Negan,” you said as you rolled over and lay your head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. 

“You will,” he promised. “We will.” Looking up at him, he leaned in and kissed you firmly before tugging the blanket up further onto your shoulders. 

“I love you,” you whispered.

“I love you, too,” Negan said. “Forever.”

Negan was pulled out of the memory as he and Alpha arrived back at the Whisperer’s main camp. An ache had opened up in his chest as he thought about you, but he kept it suppressed. He had come too far to mess up now. Especially since Alpha had taken an interest in him. 

As Alpha went off to do whatever she did during the day, Negan began scouting the camp. He checked out how many people were in her little army and the kind of weaponry they had. There was no way that she would have everything out on display for some newcomer, but he was getting a decent idea of who these Whisperers were and he hated them more by the second. 

It was a little while later when he ran into one of Alpha’s scouts. The man looked worried, but angry as well. “What’s got you all freaked out?” he asked the man. 

“Enemy near border,” was all the man said. 

“Did ya tell the boss?” 

“Can’t find the Alpha,” the scout said. 

“Big man went that way,” Negan said, pointing towards where he saw Beta disappear earlier. The scout nodded to him and went on his way. While Negan knew he should be doing more to be seen as a “team player”, curiosity got the best of him and he headed towards the border from which the scout was coming from. 

It wasn’t far, and he figured it was probably Carol trying to figure out a weakness in Alpha’s defenses. However, it could have been another body drop, which would only light Alpha’s fury even more. Then again, Negan wasn’t sure if she really cared if a few of her men and women were sacrificed for her greater good. Just another thing Negan hated about the woman. 

Continuing through the thick trees, it took him a bit longer to reach the ridge that looked over the specific border he was looking for. As soon as he made it to the tree line, he was struck by what he saw. It wasn’t Carol at all or even Daryl. 

It was you. 

You, and the young woman he knew as Enid, were walking along the invisible line that separated your territory from Alpha’s. Walkers were following you as you and Enid took them out with quick and fast strikes of your sword and her knife. 

His heart jumped in his chest at the sight of you. He couldn’t hear what you were saying, but there was something about your body language that made him worried. 

There was a hardness to you that he hadn’t seen in a while. There was no doubt in his mind now that you had been the one to put the Whisperer’s head on the pike. Watching as you killed the Walkers, all he wanted to do was reveal himself, to tell you that he was still there, but he couldn’t. Still, he didn’t move as you continued to cut down the undead enemy, whether it was risky or not.

-------

The weather was heating up and you didn’t like it at all.

Kicking out at another Walker, you kept walking, ignoring Enid’s looks that she had been sending you since you had met up with her earlier in the day. “You know, if you want to say something, just say it,” you finally said. 

“I’m not sure you want to hear it,” Enid said. 

“Try me,” you said. Enid sighed but finally said her piece. 

"Antagonizing her wasn’t the best idea, (Y/N)," Enid said as she pulled her blade out of another Walker.

"What else was I supposed to do? I am sick of playing offense," you said, slashing down another Walker who came at you. Flicking away the blood off your sword you continued forward. It had been a long day and a long night. Siddiq was finally resting with Coco not far from him. Rosita was feeling better and everything back home was finally getting back to normal. It was only the external force that threatened your family now.

"You need a strategy," Enid said and even with your back turned to her, you knew that she was giving you one of her "doctor looks".

"I have one," you argued.

"Is that why Lydia is out there by herself?" Enid asked. Looking over your shoulder, you narrowed your eyes.

"I didn't tell you that for you to judge me," you said. After reviewing the maps, Lydia noticed a few landmarks that you had circled in red. She was sure that she knew where she could start looking. According to Lydia if Negan was your family, he was hers as well. Lydia had left early that morning with the promise that she would be back within a day or so.

"I can't believe you let her out there alone," Enid said.

"She knows what she's doing," you argued.

"She's a child!"

"So were you when you fought against the Saviors," you reminded her.

"That was different," Enid said.

"No it wasn't," you said. "Lydia was raised in this world. She knows what needs to be done and so do I."

"You're losing yourself in this vendetta against Beta and this drive to find Negan."

“Weren’t you just telling me that it was okay that I was still doing that?” you asked her. 

“I didn’t mean for you to go all slasher film on Dante,” she accused. 

“I had to send a message,” you said, ducking under another Walker’s arms and shoving your blade into the back of its skull, sending it to the ground to join the others. 

“To Alpha or to Negan?” she asked. 

“Does it matter?” you snapped back. 

“You still think he’s around, don’t you?” she asked. Pausing, you took a moment to collect yourself. When you had invited Enid out to join you, you hadn’t expected a full-blown interrogation. You figured that she would still be rather reserved from the trauma she had sustained, but clearly, she was doing better than you thought. 

“Yes,” you said with a sigh. “I don’t know what he’s doing, but I don’t believe that he’s completely gone.”

“What if…” Enid began. “What if you’re wrong?”

“I’m not,” you said defiantly. “I can feel it. He’s not lost and I will find him.”

“Just prepare yourself, okay?” she offered, landing a comforting hand on your shoulder. You let the weight of her touch soothe you as you got your thoughts together. It hadn’t been that long since you had last seen him, but it had been long enough. Waking up in the middle of the night, you found yourself reaching for him next to you only to find the spot empty. That coldness that echoed in your blankets mimicked itself in your heart and it was only a matter of time before your entire body froze over. 

You needed him home and you needed him now. 

A chill ran up your spine just then, that feeling of being watched returning. Turning towards the tree line, you narrowed your eyes. You knew it was a risk to be this close to the border, but you were willing to risk it. However, if the Whisperers were watching you this closely, it wasn’t for regular observation. 

“What’s wrong?” Enid asked, noticing the change in your behavior. 

“We need to go,” you said, gripping your sword tighter. You began to move back towards the main road when your radio lit up. 

“(Y/N), come in,” Carol’s voice crackled over the line. 

“I’m here,” you responded. 

“I need you back home,” she said simply and that was all you needed. 

“On my way,” you said before hooking the radio back onto your belt. “Come on, I gotta get back,” you said to Enid who began to follow you to the point where you both would turn off to go home to your respective communities. Just as you were about to leave the clearing, you glanced back over at the tree line and you swore you saw someone watching you. 

---------

Negan watched as you disappeared again and was frozen in that spot for a while before deciding to head back. 

It was dark when he finally returned to the camp. If anyone asked, Negan would say he got lost. He didn’t want to be around people and he didn’t want to be around Beta especially. He needed a moment to clear his head, though that did turn into several hours. 

Arriving back into the fold, Negan was glad to see that he wasn’t met with spears or blades. In fact, it seemed as if nobody noticed that he was actually gone. Negan figured that nobody would really care if he had left. Then again, as he approached the fire, he did happen to see one person who looked up as soon as he was in view. Alpha had returned from wherever she had been.

The woman looked incredibly determined and actually quite smug. It made Negan a bit nervous. Still, he sauntered over to her, leaning into his hips with that sly grin on his face. “Just the Alpha I was looking for,” he said. 

“What do you want?” she asked. 

“I wanted to talk,” he said. 

“About?”

“Well, I hear we're supposed to be keeping our eyes peeled for a spy lurkin' in the woods. I have an alternate theory to run by you,” Negan offered. Alpha gestured for him to sit down and he did. 

“Go on,” she said. 

“The spy you're looking for? Right here in your camp,” Negan said, enacting the next part of his plan. Divide and conquer. 

“My people know the enemy have nothing to offer except lies,” Alpha said. 

“Maybe they do. Maybe they don't. Believe it or not, I have been where you are right now. And if you don't want to end up where I am right now, I suggest you zig where I zagged,” said Negan. Alpha narrowed her eyes. 

“You and I, very different,” Alpha said with a dismissive look, but Negan didn’t back down. 

“I had people. I had a system. I thought they believed in it, just like you,” a flash of Simon’s traitorous face echoed in his mind and Negan pushed it down. “See, the thing is, you stay king or queen long enough, with people telling you all day, every day that your shit don't stink, eventually, you start to believe it. The thing is it still stinks.”

“Who?” Alpha asked, getting impatient.

“Well, based on my own personal experience, I'd say look closer to home. And, no, I am not talkin' about Frankenstein's Hemorrhoid. That big dude is clearly a goose stepper. But the little one?” Negan said, referencing Gamma. “You see, she is close enough to you that she knows exactly where that horde is. But she guards the border, which means she's close enough to the enemy that they could've gotten to her.” 

Negan had overheard Gamma a day ago telling Alpha about a man with a metal arm. Negan wasn’t surprised to hear that Aaron was trying to be a hero. He was the type. However, this news did offer him an advantage. He didn’t think Alpha would care much about Aaron, which was good because his death was the last thing Negan wanted. He actually quite liked the man. Gamma, however, Negan didn’t care at all what happened to her.

Alpha didn’t like his tone all that much after his suggestion. “I will not have you sowing paranoia,” she said and then drew her knife, levelling it at his groin. “If you breathe a word of this to anyone, I will take these,” she said, pressing the blade to his jeans. 

“Fair enough,” Negan breathed as the blade bit into his inner thigh. When Alpha withdrew the blade, she returned to staring into the fire with a proud look on her face. While he didn’t plan on sowing any further paranoia, he had planted that small seed in her brain which was exactly what he wanted to do. After a moment longer, curiosity got the best of him.

“You look rather thrilled,” he said, breaking the silence. “Did I miss something while I was out taking my evening stroll?” he asked. Alpha looked back at him as she cleaned her nails with her knife. 

“Our problem won’t be lasting much longer,” she said and a coldness fell over Negan. He had a sudden image of your head on a spike and it made him feel rather sick. Like always, he pushed it down. 

“What did you do?” he asked in a teasing tone, leaning closer to her. Alpha looked at him and there was mischief in her eyes. It was the kind that made Gotham villains so special and the kind that Negan really didn’t like.

“Carol wanted the horde,” Alpha said slowly, “and so I gave it to her.” Negan didn’t know what that meant, but he didn’t like the sound of it. He knew that Carol was out for blood when it came to Alpha and that she had been quite reckless with her vendetta. He remembered the day he went home and found out that she had taken a shot at the leader of the Whisperers. He wouldn’t be surprised if she had tried again. However, based on how elated Alpha looked at the moment, it seemed that Carol had lost this round. 

Looking back at her, Alpha was watching him with a fire in her eyes that wasn’t solely mischief. If the circumstances were different and he wasn’t in love with you, he may have taken her up on the question that was so clearly written in her irises. Yet, he knew he wouldn’t. If there was any chance that he would get back to you, he didn’t need something that big weighing on him. You could forgive a lot, but him taking a tumble with the enemy would not be something you could turn the other cheek with. 

Negan distracted himself then, looking around the camp at the masked soldiers. However, one in particular was still missing.

Where was Beta? 

--------

In the dark of a cave, survivors struggled to find the light. 

Then as night settled on Alexandria, a grave was no longer empty as a large shape, armed with knives, emerged into enemy territory.

TAGS: @lucillethings @cameronsails @stark-dreams @amaroho @thanossexual @yes-sir-hotchner @boom-bunny @delusionalteenagewhispers @scootankle @ritajammer21 @writteriguess @tea-atfive @jennydehavilland @waspyyy @yespleasejayhalstead @hoemadegrace @writingdeadangel @huffledor-able541 @pulplorrd @felicisimor

[fuckallthegood0nesweretaken]

New World CH. Eighteen

Title: Alive

Words: 3001

Warnings: Strong language, talk of rape and past assault (no actual rape or assault), talk of killing

A/N: Enjoy!

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New World Masterlist

Daryl Dixon Masterlist

The Walking Dead Masterlist

Masterlist

~~~~~~~

Dean

Dean was running along the fence when he saw Daryl and Merle. Heart pounding in his chest, he quickened his pace until Merle was on the ground, face in the dirt.

 “What the hell are ya doin’?” Daryl said angrily.

 Dean didn’t answer and just dug his knee into Merle’s back, causing him to let out a yell of pain.

 “The fuck is he doing here, Rick?” Dean asked Rick.

 “They came out of the woods and saved me,” Rick said. “If they weren’t here, I’d be dead.”

 “He’s not coming inside,” Dean spat.

 “He is,” Daryl said. “Now get offa him!”

 Dean shook his head. “No! He hurt [y/n] and Glenn! And you decided to leave! So why are you here, huh? What brought you back?”

 “We had a talk,” Merle said, voice muffled.

 “Dean, let him go,” Rick said. With a huff, Dean got off of Merle and stalked back to the prison, not giving any of the men a second glance.

 ---

 When Dean got back inside the safety of the intact fences, he gave Glenn a look.

 “What’s wrong?” Glenn asked. “Is Rick okay?”

 “Rick’s fine.” Dean glanced at the prison and clenched his fists.

 “They’re both here, aren’t they?” Glenn said. Dean nodded and neither of them said anything, turning to go back inside.

 ---

 Sam 

When Sam saw Sophia get shot, he didn’t even think before his feet were moving and he was crouching beside her. He took his shirt off and was pressing it to the wound as Beth opened the door and Carl was covering them with his rifle.

 Quickly, he got Sophia into the medical cell and sat her on the bunk. She was crying and even though it hurt Sam to see her like this, he knew it was a good sign.

 “This is going to hurt,” Sam said before he gently peeled his shirt off of the wound. Sophia let out a muffled scream and Sam gently shushed her.

 “I need to cut your shirt, okay?”

 “Okay,” Sophia whimpered.

 Sam cut the shirt and turned her so he could see both sides of her shoulder. Thankfully, there was an exit wound and Sam managed to stop the bleeding. Sophia had passed out due to the pain and Sam worked on stitching her up.

 “Is she gonna be alright?” Carol said softly from the doorway. She had a bottle of water, a bowl, and some spare towels in her hands.

 “She’s gonna be fine,” Sam said as he took the things from Carol. “I just have to clean and wrap it. We’ll have to keep an eye on it for a while, make sure it doesn’t get infected.”

 “Oh thank god. Beth took Adeline and Carl to Judith. They’re startled but fine.” Carol sat down next to her daughter and that was when you came skidding to a halt outside of the cell.

 “How’s she doing?” You said out of breath. Sam repeated what he said to Carol and you let out a breath of relief, your body sagging slightly.

 “Good. I’m glad to hear that she’s gonna be okay.” You turned to Carol with teary eyes. “I’m so sorry. I thought I was getting them out of harm’s way but I only managed to get Sophia hurt.”

 “It’s not your fault, honey,” Carol said soothingly. “You weren’t the one to shoot her.”

 “Still.” You choked back a sob and walked out of the cell. Carol watched you go with sad eyes before turning her attention to her daughter.

 ---

 It wasn’t long before everyone else filed inside. Merle was locked in the common area while you and everyone else, minus Carol and Sophia, were in the common area. Daryl had climbed the stairs to stand near you and Beth, but without even as much as a look in his direction, you went down to the lower level to stand near Michonne. You didn’t miss the slump of his shoulders or the little breath he let out, but you found yourself not caring.

 “Rick, we need to leave,” you said, breaking the silence.

 “We’re not leaving.”

 “Well, we can’t stay here,” you shot back. Glancing up, you saw Daryl holding Adeline and you shook your head.

 “What if there’s another sniper? Wood pallet won’t stop those rounds,” Maggie said.

 “We can’t even go outside,” Beth chimed in quietly.

 “Maybe not during the day, but we can at night.”

 “If Rick say’s we’re not running, then we’re not running,” Glenn said.

 “No. Better ta live like rats,” Merle said. You glared at him before turning your attention elsewhere

 “You got any better ideas?” Rick said. “I’m all ears.”

 “Yeah, we should’a left already. Lived ta fight another day. We lost that window though, didn’t we? I bet that he’s got scouts on every road outta this place by now.”

 “We ain’t scared of that prick,” you heard Daryl say. You scoffed loudly and shook your head.

 “We should be,” you said. Dean gave you a worried look but you didn’t see it.

 “Sugar’s right. That truck through tha fence thing? That was just a welcome ta tha neighborhood from him. We might have some thick walls ta hide behind, but sooner or later he’s gonna come back. He got tha guns and tha numbers.”

 “He needs to go in the other cell block,” Maggie said.

 “No. He’s gotta point,” Daryl said.

 “He might have a point, but I don’t want to see or hear him,” you said sharply. “This is all his fault!”

 “It doesn’t matter whose fault it is!” Beth said, coming down the stairs. “What are we gonna do?”

 “I say we should leave. [Y/n] thinks so too. Now both Axel and Oscar are dead and Sophia got shot. We can’t just sit here,” Hershel said. Rick said nothing, turning around and walking away when Hershel yelled at him.

 “You’re slipping, Rick,” Hershel said when Rick stopped walking. “We can all see it and we understand why. But now is not the time. You said that this wasn’t a democracy and now you have to own up to that.”

 Rick turned to face Hershel and you propped yourself up against the wall, watching the show.

 “I put my family’s life in your hands. So get your head clear before anyone else dies. You need to do something before anything else happens.”

 Rick gave one last look to Hershel and his gaze landed on you. You met his gaze with your hardened look and Rick was the first one to look away before he walked out of the cell block. With a shake of your head, you pushed yourself off the wall and went to your cell to grab something. Walking back out, you almost ran into Daryl. He reached an arm out to steady you, but you flinched and stepped back.

 “[Y/n], can we talk?” He asked you quietly.

 “We have nothing to talk about. Now please move so I can leave.” Your voice was harsh and you saw hurt flash in Daryl’s eyes. He moved out of your way and you walked back down the stairs, sitting on the last step.

 A few minutes later, Rick came back inside, sending Maggie on watch. Your brothers, Glenn, Michonne, Hershel, Daryl, and Rick stood near the other staircase and started making plans. You didn’t go over to them, knowing one of your brothers would fill you in later. It didn’t take long before Daryl was storming up the stairs, angry at Glenn for dissing his brother.

 Soon after, Dean came up to you.

 “What’s the plan?” You asked him, knowing full well there wasn’t a plan.

 “We don’t have one,” he said with a sigh.

 “Figured.”

 “[Y/n], I’m gonna say something and I need you to listen,” Dean said after a moment.

 “I’m not talking to him,” you said sharply.

 ��You have to, [y/n]. He’s back and sure, he brought the asshat with him, but you know Daryl.”

 “Not as well as I thought. He left when we needed him. When I needed him. He just left!” Your voice was getting louder, not caring who could hear.

 “It was his brother, [y/n]. Don’t say that you wouldn’t have done the same if it was me or Sammy,” Dean said, crossing his arms.

 “Don’t. Don’t compare yourselves to a man who helps his buddy almost rape someone!” You were yelling now and you didn’t notice Daryl standing at the top of the steps, Carol right next to him.

 “The Governor did what?” Daryl said, voice low.

 “So now you care? Didn’t seem to when you left,” you said, whirling around to glare at Daryl. “You chose that douchebag over your real family.”

 “I didn’t know.”

 Everyone else decided that it was a good time to make themselves scarce and soon it was only you and Daryl in the cell block.

 “Do you want to know what he did to me? Your brother and the Governor?”

 Daryl said nothing and you took it as your cue to keep talking.

 “Your brother held me at gunpoint, threatening my life to make Glenn do what he wanted. He hit me on the head when I tried to get out of his hold. Then, he locked me in a room and tied me to a chair. That’s when I had to hear him beating the shit out of Glenn. Merle sicced a walker on him, Daryl. For a few minutes, I thought that Glenn had died. No sound was coming from that room anymore. That’s when the Governor came into my room.”

 “Did he r—“

 “Rape me? No. But he came damn close to it. The sick bastard forced me to take my shirt off. Said if I didn’t, he’d bring me Glenn’s hand. He touched me, slammed me down on a table. He pointed a gun at my stomach to make us say what he wanted, knowing I was pregnant. That’s the man your brother took us too. The man he’s friends with.”

 “They ain’t friends no more, [y/n].”

 “Doesn’t matter,” you said, shaking your head. “You still decided to leave with him, Daryl.”

 “And I realized that I chose wrong. I came back.” There was a desperation in Daryl’s voice that you had never heard and you looked into his eyes.

 “You’re right. You came back. But the trust that we’ve built up is gone. It’s gonna take a lot to get it back to where it was.”

 ---

 The next day, you got a surprise visit from someone you thought you’d never see again. Andrea. When Carl had come into the cell block and announced that Andrea was here, you furrowed your eyebrows.

 “Andrea? She’s alive?” You asked.

 “Apparently,” Rick said.

 Everyone got guns ready and you watched as your brothers followed Rick and Daryl outside. You went onto the catwalk with Glenn and Carol, rifle at the ready. Andrea was leading a walker by the throat and you felt no pity for her when Rick held her against the fence and checked her for weapons.

 Tearing your eyes away from her, you scanned the tree line, looking to see if she was alone or not. You saw nothing out of the ordinary and when you saw nothing, you walked back inside with Carol, Glenn close behind.

 You stayed up on the second level while Andrea was reconnecting with everyone. You were glad to see her alive, but something about her felt off.

 “Where’s Shane?” She asked. Rick shook his head and Andrea asked, “And Lori?”

 “Lori didn’t make it. She had a girl,” Hershel said.

 “Neither did T-Dog,” Maggie said.

 “I’m so sorry.” She looked at Carl with pity on her face. Carl hung his head and Dean squeezed his shoulder. When she tried to talk to Rick, he backed up slightly and Andrea thought it might be good to change the subject.

 “You all live here?” She asked.

 “Here and the cell block,” Glenn said.

 “There? Can I see?” Andrea went to walk inside but Rick and Sam got in her way.

 “I can’t allow that,” Rick said quietly.

 “I’m not the enemy, Rick.”

 “We had that field and courtyard completely clear until your boyfriend tore down the fence and shot us up.”

 “You’re the Governor’s girlfriend?” Dean said, voice sharp. He looked at Rick. “Why is she still here?”

 “Why would I not be here?” Andrea said, looking at Dean with a confused look.

 “Well, let’s see. Your boyfriend assaulted me, tried to kill Daryl, and shot up our home,” you said.

 “Assaulted?” Andrea shook her head. “No way. He wouldn’t do that.”

 “You keep telling yourself that, honey,” you said with a cold laugh. “Whatever makes you sleep at night.”

 Andrea just glared at you and turned her attention back to Rick.

 “He said you fired first.” Andrea said, ignoring you and you rolled your eyes.

 “He’s lying,” Rick said.

 “He killed two inmates who survived here and shot Sophia,” Hershel said.

 “We liked those inmates. They was part of this group,” Daryl said. “And [y/n] ain’t lyin’.”

 “I didn’t know anything about that. Any of it. I came as soon as I found out.” She turned and looked at everyone. “I didn’t even know that it was you in Woodbury until after the shootout.”

 “That was days ago,” Glenn said.

 “I told you, I came as soon as I could.”

 No one said a word and Andrea whipped around to face Michonne.

 “What have you told them?” Andrea accused.

 “Nothing.”

 “I don’t get it. I left Atlanta with you guys and now I’m the odd one out?”

 “He almost killed Michonne and he would have killed us,” Dean said. “My little sister and Glenn were almost executed on his orders.”

 “With his finger on the trigger!” Andrea pointed at Merle. She turned to Glenn. “Isn’t he the one who kidnapped you? Beat you?”

 “At least it wasn’t my boyfriend who assaulted someone, almost killed two innocent people, and had one of his men shoot a child,” you said. Andrea looked up at you to see you casually leaning against the wall, rifle in hand.

 “Look, I cannot excuse or explain what Philip has done. But I am here to bring us all together. We have to work this out.”

 You snorted and she sent you glare.

 “There’s nothing to work out because we’re gonna kill him,” Rick said. “I don’t know how or when, but we will.”

 “We can settle this. There’s room for you all at Woodbury.”

 “Ya know better than that,” Merle said.

 “For once, I agree with the douchebag,” you said. Sam choked back a laugh and you cracked a smile.

 “What makes you think he wants to negotiate?” Hershel asked Andrea.

 “Did he say that?” Sam asked.

 “No. He didn’t.” Andrea shook her head. You rolled your eyes.

 “Then why’d you come?”

 “He’s gearing up for war,” Andrea said as she looked at Rick. “The people are terrified, they see you as killers. They’re training to attack.”

 “Tell ya what. Next time ya see Philip, tell him I’m gonna take his other eye,” Daryl growled.

 “We’ve taken too much shit for far too long. He wants a war? Then he’s got one,” Glenn said.

 “Rick, if you don’t sit down and try to work this out, I don’t know what’s going to happen,” Andrea said, trying to stop the fighting.

 “No matter what, people are gonna die,” you said.

 “You’ve lost so much already, you can’t be alone anymore.”

 “You wanna make this right? Get us inside,” Rick said.

 “No.”

 “Then we got nothing to talk about.” Rick walked back into the cell block, not listening to Andrea trying to keep him there.

 “There’s innocent people!” She called after him.

 “There’s innocent people in both parties,” Carol said.

 “They have kids, we have kids. They also have people who don’t care who they hurt, as long as they get what they want. All we want is to be left alone but your boyfriend is crazy,” you said, walking down the stairs. “He’s not going to leave us alone and he’s going to keep trying to kill us. To keep my family safe, to keep these kids from dying, I will do anything I need to do.”

 You were now almost two feet away from Andrea.

 “Now you need to make a choice. Help the people you’ve gone through so much with? The people that consider you part of their family? Or help the man you’re just fucking to feel something. Your choice.” Giving her a salute, you turned on your heel and walked into the cell block.

 ---

 When Andrea was finally leaving, you were up on the catwalk with Hershel, Adeline hiding behind you. Andrea had waved bye to Adeline, but she just gripped your hand and hid herself behind your legs. Andrea’s face had fallen but you didn’t care. Adeline might be young, but she was smart enough to realize that Andrea was on the wrong side and didn’t like her for it.

 You could barely hear what they were saying below you, but you didn’t care anyways. Andrea gave you bad vibes and you knew the rest of your group, they felt it too.

 You had heard what Carol had suggested she do and you already knew she didn’t have the guts to do it. Watching as she took off in the car Rick gave her, you shook your head and walked back inside, Adeline trailing behind you.

 For the rest of the day, you opted to stay inside your cell with your daughter instead of hanging around with everyone else. You could hear Beth singing when night fell and the sounds washed over you. Closing your eyes, you fell asleep to her voice.

[crossbows-and-moonshine]

That’s What You Get (DarylxReader)

Can I request an imagine where Daryl is secretly in love with you and only Rick and Carol know but he's been avoiding you cuz he thinks you like Glenn and he blows up one day cuz Rick and Carol is pushing him to tell you and you overhear everything

Warnings; fluff, angst.

If you want me to add you on the taglist, let me know. 

That’s what you get when you let your heart win. Woaaaaaaah. *Dances* Anyone else get that in their head when you read the title? Just me? Okay... lolololol

----------------------------------

You made your way over with your bowl of stew to the table outside the prison, the place was bustling with life with the people from Woodbury now there. You were one of them, the new additions, but you had been there a decent time now to feel like a part of the group. You sat down next to Daryl and shot him a smile, but he just glanced at you before continuing to eat his food.

“This is great Daryl, thanks for catching the deer.” You said softly, he just grunted before taking his bowl, getting up and walking off. You heaved a sigh and looked down to your food forlornly.

“What did I do this time?” You whined, causing Glenn to snort as he sat opposite you.

“He’ll warm up to you eventually don't worry.” He grinned. You and Glenn had become pretty close since you got here, he was like a brother to you and you seemed to spend most of your time with him.

You had no idea why Daryl didn't like you. Ever since you got here you had tried your hardest to get to know everyone, to work hard and be a part of the group. But Daryl was the only one who seemed to not like you and you didn't know why. Anytime you'd try to talk to him, he would just grunt or nod, or even sometimes just get up and walk off, like now. You didn't know if you had some kind of Daryl repellent you were unaware of but it was making you feel like crap. You actually liked him, you didn't know him well but you heard a lot of things and you saw him and what he did for the group. He provided, he protected, you thought he was amazing, he was always so humble about it too, never liking praise or not seemingly being able to see just how important he was in the group. 

You finished your food quietly, wondering what you could do to break the ice, to finally get him to talk to you. You settled on just leaving it, you had seen he had a temper and you really had no desire to be on the receiving end of it. If he didn't like you, then he didn't like you, you’d just have to deal with it.

Daryl walked into the prison feeling on edge and antsy. He hated being around you. But it wasn't because he didn't like you, it was the opposite. Ever since you came here you seemed to be everywhere and he could never seem to take his eyes off you. Always watching what you were doing, making sure you were safe. He had even refused to let you on runs because he didn't want you outside the gates where the danger was, but you were unaware of that. But he saw the way you were with Glenn, how you always laughed, were always around him, it filled him with rage and a feeling he wasn't quite used to. He sat down inside where Rick and Carol were talking and they glanced at him as his leg bobbed about and he chewed his thumb.

“For Gods sake Daryl, just tell her!” Carol chided, she loved Daryl and she wanted him to be happy. She had seen the way you looked at him and she knew if he actually spoke to you, it could be good, yet he seemed to avoid you at all costs. Daryl shot her a dirty look, he hated how his best friends had worked out his feelings for you. They were constantly telling him to tell you and he was getting sick of it. Like hell, he was going to open his big mouth and make a dick of himself, not a chance in hell.

“Just drop it alright?” He snapped, glaring at the pair.

“She likes you man, just tell her, you’ll feel better.” Rick encouraged with a weary smile, but Daryl could feel his temper flaring.

“Ain’t none of ya damn business.” He huffed, shaking his head as he picked the dirt from his nails as a distraction.

“It is our business Daryl because we care about you. You’ve withdrawn so much because of this, because it's driving you crazy.” Carol sighed with a frown.

“I said drop it alright?! Y/n doesn't like me that way, so there's no way in hell I’m telling her I fuckin’ like her! She likes Glenn so get the fuck over it!” He growled before standing up and storming off to his perch upstairs.

You stood there near the door with your jaw slack, you hadn't been seen and you slipped back outside as what you just heard digested in your brain. Daryl liked you, that's why he was being weird, and he thought you wouldn't feel the same. And for some weird reason he thought you liked Glenn, you were baffled honestly. You felt the butterflies bloom in your belly as you tried to work out how to tell him you knew, without him chewing your ear off and making things worse.

A few days went by and you had barely seen Daryl, it seemed like he was avoiding you even more. He was sat in the fields stabbing the knife into the grass, you noticed he did that a lot, he'd sometimes just sit there and you wondered what was going on in that complicated brain of his. You took a breath to try and brace yourself, he would probably kick your ass, but you had to try. You walked over to him and sat down facing him, he looked at you with a frown and looked ready to get up. He was stopped though when you placed a bunch of bolts in front of him, hand made of out wood, you had worked hard the past couple of days.

“What's this?” He asked gruffly, they were the first words he ever spoke to you and honestly, it was a stupid fucking question.

“Uh...Bolts...I made them, I know you could use some more. Consider it my peace offering.” You grinned at him, he looked at you suspiciously before picking one up and inspecting it. You held your breath waiting for him to tell you they were shit, instead he nodded, seemingly satisfied and set it back down.

“Thanks.” He rasped, chancing a glance at you. When you smiled at him he felt his stomach feel weird and he looked down.

“Okay look, I thought you hated me honestly, but I heard you, with Rick and Carol. And I know you’ll be mad, but for what it's worth, I like you too. So any time you wanna just talk or whatever, you know where my cell is. Also, I don’t like Glenn like that, he’s like my brother.” You smiled softly before standing up and walking away. You knew he would feel too uncomfortable for you to stay after saying that and you wanted to give him space. That and also get out of the vicinity in case he exploded with his Dixon temper. Daryl sat there stunned, he wasn't mad you heard him, he was too shocked to be anything at that moment as he stared at the bolts you had made him. It made him feel all funny that you had done something like that for him, that you had told him you liked him.

The next night you were sat in bed reading a book Carol had leant you, it wasn't the best but it passed the time. There wasn't much to do now the world had gone down the shitter. You couldn't watch tv or listen to music, the world had changed. You wouldn't say it was boring, there was always something going on. But running from the dead and trying to survive wasn't the kind of excitement that you were after, so books would have to do. You hadn’t seen Daryl all day and you wondered if you had made things worse between you, but you decided to just let things be. Your eyes looked up over the book when you saw the blanket you had draped over the cell door open a little and your eyes widened a little to see Daryl peaking in, you hadn't really expected him to seek you out.

“You can come in.” You smiled as you closed the book and set it down. Daryl opened the door and closed it behind him, stood there chewing his thumb like he didn't know what to do with himself.

“You can sit down, you won't get cooties.” You smirked, he stopped chewing his thumb for a second as he squinted at you and scoffed, but his lips were quirked up telling you he found you amusing, it made you feel all fuzzy inside that you made Daryl Dixon smile. He sat on the end of your bed and he was fidgety, you knew this was hard for him, you saw how he was with people, he didn't let people get close and he wasn't much for being social.

“I used the bolts before, worked real good.” He murmured quietly, you couldn't help the smile that spread on your face.

“That's awesome, I was worried I made them wrong.” You admitted sheepishly. He looked at you then, you were in an oversized shirt sat with the blanket around you, the shirt fell off one of your shoulders and his eyes were drawn to it for a moment before he looked back at your face.

“Did ya mean what ya said yesterday?” He asked bluntly, just wanting to get it out of the way. 

“Of course I did. I’d really like to get to know you better, instead of you ignoring me.” You said wryly, making him look down bashfully. You didn't know if you were seeing things but you were pretty sure the tips of his ears went pink.

“Yeah...sorry about that.” He apologized. You snorted a little and shook your head.

“Don't worry about it, you’re here now, so that's a start.” You grinned. He looked at you warily like he didn't fully trust you though.

“Why? Why do ya like me out of everyone?” He asked, he looked genuinely confused and you resisted the urge to shake some sense into him.

“Because you're a good man Daryl. And it doesn't hurt that you're hot as hell.” You smirked.

“Yeah right.” He scoffed, looking down once again and blushing.

“Don't make me hit you, I know I’m small but I pack a mean punch.” You teased getting a small laugh from him, you felt like you had been graced with the best gift from God at the sound.

“I look like one of them trolls that live under a bridge.” He huffed with a wry smirk and you grabbed the book and threw it at him, hitting him in the chest. 

“Ow!” He complained, glaring at you playfully as he rubbed his chest, you just smirked smugly at him.

“That's what you get. Its aversion therapy, every time you say something bad about yourself and I hear you, I’m gonna hit you. Soon enough you’ll learn to stop.” You grinned cheekily, he shook his head and smiled, glancing at you. It felt so weird for him, that you liked him, that anyone did. But you, the girl he had seemingly become infatuated with actually liked him back and he wasn't sure what planet he had woke up on.

“You’re a violent little thing huh?” He teased, you flashed him a toothy grin in response.

“Only when I need to be.” You snorted.

“Guess I better behave myself then.” He relented playfully, giving you another half smile, every time he did that your stomach flipped around on you. He stayed in your cell for hours as you both talked and got to know each other, teasing playful banter as you did, and with each passing minute, you both relaxed and found it easier to just talk to each other. You had no idea where this was heading but you enjoyed his company and he seemed to be opening up to you. You hoped one day he would let you in completely.

Taglist; @risingphoenix761 @daryldixonandfrogs @arlaina28 @divadinag

[baseballbitch116]

Sweetheart - part 3

"Comin’?” He asks, hopping back onto his bike. You decide to be brave and say “You gotta make me.” He stares at you and a small smirk appears on his lips, before he shakes his head and revs up the bike. You laugh and climb back on, wrapping your arms tightly around his torso again and leaning your head on his shoulder, saying in his ear. “I’m ready.” He shivers a little and you actually feel it, causing you to smile and rest your head on him more, your lips grazing his neck accidentally as he moves and he loses focus til he sees Rick’s car pass him. He starts going and tries his hardest to control himself, far too focused on your hands on his body. 

* Takes place in season 4

Word Count: 1386

Warning: Mention of potential assault, language, suggestiveness

15+

Part 1 | Part 2

Masterlist

Prompt List | Submit A Request

When you get back to the prison, it’s nearly noon, and you have the entire day ahead of you. You get off of Daryl’s bike and head over to the car, taking your backpack from Tyreese and heading inside the cell-block. You put some things away in your cell, and toss the backpack under your bed, before getting changed into the new outfit you got from the store, and going in search of Carl. You’re wearing a nice pair of high-waisted denim jeans that hug your curves nicely, and a grey long sleeved shirt that came up a little when you raised your arms and showed your shoulders a little bit.

You smile a little at Daryl as you pass by him but keep walking. After walking a few more feet, you hear a loud crash of thunder, making you jump out of your skin, and start feeling it beginning to drizzle. You spot Carl and tell him to start gathering empty bins so you guys can rather some rainwater. There’s no such thing as too much water after the awful droughts you have seen before. It begins to downpour out of nowhere and within seconds both of you are soaked to the core. You laugh hysterically and run through the rain, trying to get to cover. You and Carl head under the small overhang beside Daryl, who is almost as soaked as you guys, and try to catch your breath from how much you were laughing. You catch a small smile on his face as he chuckles at the two of you. “Ya gonna get sick.” He warns you guys.

“That was worth it.” Carl says, and you nod. You see Daryl’s hair sticking to his forehead and smile, reaching your hand up to mess with it. He flinches at first, before letting you run your hands through his hair and mess it up. He glares at you playfully and does the same thing to you. You gasp and laugh again, grabbing Carl and messing with his ever-growing hair and poking him. You’re having so much fun, life almost feels decent. “C’mon, ya really are gonna get sick.” Daryl warns and you pout, but follow him and Carl inside.

You head into the common area and grab three towels, tossing one to each of them. Carl goes to get dressed in his cell, leaving you and Daryl alone together. You take a seat on the counter-type-thing and kick your feet like a child. Your towel starts hanging off a little bit, and before you can pull it back up, Daryl stands between your legs and pulls it around your shoulders for you, rubbing your arms a little, trying to get you warm. He looks into your eyes for a few moments, and you feel yourself getting warm just by his action alone. “Thanks,” You mumble, staring back at him. He just nods, not replying. His hand runs through your hair, fixing it for you. His thumb strokes your cheek before he goes back to his hard exterior and backs away, putting a foot or two between you guys.

“I’m.. Gonna go shower…” You say as you hop down. You take a few steps, before looking over your shoulder and saying, “Feel free to join me.” You smile, knowing he would never, but enjoying the face he makes at the offer.

What you were not expecting when you were in the middle of showering was for the curtain to pull back and a naked Andrew to be standing there. You scream and attempt to cover yourself, watching as he jumps back and looks confused. “Why’re you screaming? You said I could join?” He responds. You quickly pull the curtain shut and reach over the side to grab your towel, shutting off the water as you hear the door open and the voices of Glenn and Rick approaching. “What the hell is going?” Rick asks, bewildered by the sight in front of him. You step out of the shower feeling humiliated and look at Rick. “She said I could join.” Andrew exclaims, still standing there ass naked, no shame. What is wrong with him?

“No I didn’t! What are you talking about?!” You exclaim, walking toward Glenn and Rick, wanting far away from this creep. And just your luck... In walks Daryl.

“The fuck is goin on?” He asks, heading over to you. He sees you in a towel and Andrew standing there ass naked, and jumps to conclusions. “Seriously Y/N?!” He exclaims, enraged, and you glare at him angrily. “I didn’t fucking invite him! He just walked in! Why else would I scream?!” You exclaim. 

“Why would you do that to Y/N? For God’s sake, cover up.” Rick hollers as he tosses a towel at him.

“I heard her say “feel free to join me.’ So I did!” He hollers, wrapping the towel around himself. You blush a little and get embarrassed as four sets of eyes land on you.

“I said that to Daryl... I didn’t even know this kid was around. I don’t know you! I sure as hell didn’t wanna shower with you!” You holler at the man just standing there as if he did nothing wrong.

Daryl is looking pretty angry at this point, and you’re starting to think Rick and Glenn may have to break up a fight.

“Well I thought it was an open invitation.” Andrew says, rolling his eyes as if he is totally innocent.

“Stay the hell away from her.” Daryl threatens, his voice husky and dangerous. He grabs your arm and starts leading you out of the bathroom, grabbing your clothes from the counter and leading you back to your cell. 

You pass by Maggie who stares incredulously at you naked in a towel being drug away by Daryl... It’s quite an odd sight. He slams the curtain shut behind you guys and paces for a second, looking extremely ticked off. “Daryl?” You ask, wondering why he’s so bothered.

“He didn’t think ya were talkin bout him! He’s a fuckin creep! He probably woulda raped ya!” He exclaims, punching the cell wall. You flinch and he notices, and does his best to calm down. You turn around and drop your towel to just cover your ass, pulling on a fresh pair of panties, then dropping your towel fully and putting on your matching bra. He is watching, kind of frozen in place, until you turn around, half naked, wet hair, looking... ravishing. “Uh, I- should wait out there...” He starts, but you shake your head.

“Don’t have to. I’m not naked no more.” You say, shrugging your shoulders. “He makes me uncomfortable. You don’t.” 

He stares at you a little, taking in what you said, and nods slowly. You kind of stand there, hoping that he’ll do something, but he doesn’t, so you decide to take a chance.

“Why’d it bother you so much that he did that?” You ask quietly, taking a step closer to him. He shrugs a little, standing stiff and nervous. “So you don’t care if other people see me naked...? Doesn’t bother you at all?” You press.

“Didn’t say that.” He replies, sounding a little worked up, but taking a step back. 

“What’s the problem? I can tell you care about me, at least a little... What do I got to do to make you trust me?” You came out and said it. No more games, you want the truth. You want Daryl.

He doesn’t answer for a few seconds and you sigh, turning around and throwing on your shirt. He grabs your arm suddenly and spins you around, taking you by surprise. He’s very close, his face mere inches from yours. His eyes meet yours, then glance down at your lips.

“It’s not ya.” He says, his voice deep and husky. His hand drops from your arm and slides down your body to your waist. 

“I want you to trust me... I want to be your’s, Daryl.” You mutter, suddenly feeling sad and almost desperate to get him to let you in. He continues looking at you before leaning in just a little, hesitantly, and you feel your heart stop in your chest. You lean in slowly and look up into his eyes. When he doesn’t pull away, you take a big chance and close the space between you...

---

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[everythingcollided]

I Know [Carl Grimes]

Summary: She’s aware of who she is, all of the things she’s done, how screwed up she is. But, it’s Carl’s job to show her that it doesn’t always matter and that even through that, your heart is still beating; loving.

Words: 2,850

Warnings: Swearing(maybe like one), slight angst, fluff

I know I’m broken.

I watch the cracks in my eyes shine in the light reflecting off the mirror. I feel the fractures under my skin spread and shift as I move, as I live. I see it in the way they stare at me, at us, like we’re some kind of monsters that need to be locked behind a cage. I don’t tell them that I’m already behind one. It’s not the walls that close me in, though. It’s me.

I know I’m a monster.

I live through what I’ve done in my nightmares. All the walker bodies stacked up, one against the other. Blood, everywhere. Human bodies, one against the other. Gunshots, bullets ripping through skin. Eyes; blue, brown, green, hazel, losing their light, turning milky or not shifting at all. Somehow that’s worse. Clothes being ripped off of screaming bodies, people almost being broken by something other than death, other than the walkers. By other people.

I know I can still be happy.

Sometimes I wake up in the mornings, in my own bed, shrouded in covers that smell like lavender and everything I’ve wanted the world to be since my dad died, since everyone else died. I can hear laughter coming from somewhere downstairs, the kitchen, bacon sizzling, some song by Journey completing its scratchy spin on the record player Rick picked up a while back. Sometimes I think that things will be alright when I join their smiles that have been as dormant as mine at certain points, join Carl as he reads one of his comic books and we both sip coffee out of matching bright colored mugs in our pajamas because we have nowhere to go. Just for that day.

I know my world can crumble.

Bite marks fill pages among pages in my mind. The one my brother had revealed on his shoulder, the one Sophia had in the exact same spot when she stumbled out of that barn. Bodies torn to shreds. My mother’s ripped in half and strewn across the lawns of five separate houses, T-Dog’s rib cage visible to the naked eye and glistening with blood, the fallout of the Anderson’s and so many others in Alexandria, Noah devoured alive in that rotating door. Bullet holes in skulls, tanks shooting explosives, bodies flying, my best friend getting his eye shot out and becoming heartbroken at what he’d become.

I know I can still trust.

Glenn passes around a picture of a growing baby and it feels like a puzzle piece has just squeezed into place. He’s smiling and Maggie’s smiling and everyone is smiling and it’s okay. Michonne and I practice in the backyard, swinging and slashing our swords at each other with no want of destruction. Rick glares at me and it’s because I took the last pop tart, Daryl hides his snicker at a joke I make, Carol and I make cookies and pass them out to fellow Alexandrians even if they believe they might be poisoned, Abraham calls me nicknames that annoy me to no end but give me a warmth of having people who care, Carl and I make a pinky promise over something stupid and my heart feels like it’s collapsing in on itself.

I know we’re best friends.

He found me on the farm and we promised each other we wouldn’t die. I stood by his side when he killed a soldier in the Governor’s army even though I was scared of him, he stood by mine when I got sick and was coughing up blood even if it had to be through a sheet of glass. We hugged the life out of each other when we reunited after the prison was destroyed and I’d never felt more relieved. We read comics and argue about what superhero would win a fight against the other, we talk and talk and talk after we’ve had a nightmare and neither of us can get back to sleep. I helped him get in contact with the real world again after he’d lost his eye and his smile was the best thing I’ve ever seen. He held me when Beth had been carried out of that hospital with a bullet through her head and I held him when he came out numb with his baby sister in his arms.

I know I’m in love with him.

We share a joke and a laugh in an abandoned roller rink on the road and suddenly I’m blushing and hiding behind my hair. My sketchbook is crammed full of blue eyes and freckles and I have to get another one because I’ve run out of pages, half of the pictures that come out of my camera are of a boy I call my best friend, songs that get stuck in my head are all so gooey I want to scratch them out of my brain. My heart jumps at cerulean and my skin heats at contact, my lips want something they’ve never had before and curve when they see that dumb hat peek around a corner, my fingers like the feel of soft brown hair in a moment of weak hugs.

Tears form in my eyes when I see a frown and hear that break in his voice, when we start talking about how much it hurts knowing that everything is gone. We speak about graduation and marriage and prom and thirst for it and I know I want to do it all with him. I agree with everything and pretend that most of my demons don’t taunt me with his death, pretend I don’t feel like a coward for calling him a friend and not something more. He laughs and smiles and plays with my curls and he’s happy around me and that’s enough.

Even as we sit here in the dark of the room we’ve decided to share, sweaty and shaking from twin tortures of sleep, it’s enough that he’s here, in front of me. I tell myself that over again in a mantra but there’s always that part of me that disagrees. The teenager, the believer, the one full of hope. The reason I can still smile and love and accept these people as my family.

“Do you want to talk about it?” His short breaths bring a skip in mine and I turn away from him. I shake my head every time. No. Then quiet. Silence until one of us falls asleep and the other goes back to their bed across the room. Across is too far, always.

I deny because it’s constantly him. Bleeding, dying, eating me, helpless against forces out of my control. Those alone are enough to break me but then there’s that stone that drops in my stomach when I shoot up, ripping through my heart and lungs and settling right at the bottom. It’s too much to bare, too much to relive through.

But tonight I nod. I look at the collage of pictures we’d pinned together on the light blue wall that’d never failed to remind me of his eyes. Everyone we’ve lost plus those we’re still holding onto. The both of us are there too, all over. Joyful, blushing, sparkling, naive idiots and suddenly I can’t lie to him anymore because I do want to talk about it and I do want to tell him what he makes me go through by simply sitting there in a crumpled shirt and grey sweats.

“You were in it, you’re always in it. We were on a run in some dumb shopping mall and you’d disappeared somewhere. I was having a heart attack thinking you’d gotten swallowed when I found you looking at clothes of all things.” I angle my head upwards to meet his one blue eye to keep myself composed because he’s here and he’s okay. The exposed wound of his eye is on full view and the moonlight peeking through the blinds and against the walls make him look tragically beautiful. He’s smiling, a little lift of the left side of the lips.

“You think we could get matching shirts? That’s what you said, and then you suddenly disappeared. I could hear your screaming all around me, closing in, but I couldn’t see you anywhere and, and...I couldn’t do anything. All I could do was curl up on the floor and cry and it hurt more than anything I’ve ever felt before. I-I-“

Carl’s hands grip at my shoulders. “Shut up. Don’t say anything else.” Thumbs leave trails of fire against my cheeks as he wipes away the tears that have fallen from my eyes without consent. “I don’t like it when you cry.” he mumbles.

“Sorry,” I sniff pathetically. I’m always somehow showing weakness around him. I hate it. “I’ve just seen you die so many times, so many, and I’m tired of going to sleep only to see it over and over again.”

He’s quiet for a while after his hands drop from my cheeks and I wonder if he’s even going to say anything, if he’s going to back down. “We were still in the prison,” he says. It takes me a moment to realize he’s talking about his dream. “And you were sick. We were laughing over some stupid joke you made through the glass when you started choking. You were choking on your own blood and I couldn’t get to you. The door wouldn’t open and I kept on banging on the glass but it wouldn’t do anything and...you were gone. I don’t know how much worse it would have gotten if I didn’t wake up.”

I sigh at the fissure in my heart when tears fall out of his eye and wipe at it, murmuring, “I don’t like it when you cry either.” We share a pathetic chuckle and I drop my hand from his face.

Carl catches it a moment after it’s slapped against the mound of bedsheet between us, interlocking our pinkies in that familiar way. I watch him, bright eye directed downward. His nose twitches, an action that warns of incoming tears. “Don’t die, okay?” The sleep heavy husk of his voice cracks under all the pressure.

I’ve seen him vulnerable a handful of times, after his mom, the eye, the church, after Atlanta, after the farm. Each broken stare weakens me a little bit more. I find myself nodding to him, squeezing the finger in contact with his. “Okay.”

And then he’s smiling and I’m smiling and were staring at each other and the moment’s been glued back together. I want to kiss him, so bad, but my stomach coils and tightens at the glance I steal and I’m suddenly retreating from the thought. I meet blue that’s shifting all around my face; back and forth between my eyes, my nose, my lips. His Adam’s Apple bobs with the force of a gulp.

His mouth opens and I know he wants to say something, but it slams shut before his voice escapes. I raise my eyebrows at him in question and he looks at the wall of photos like I did minutes ago to avoid my gaze, a sigh floating through the air and lips pursing.

“Carl,” I call and it’s when he turns for an answer that I realize I have no idea what I was going to say. I just wanted him to look at me. I dig for a question. “What is it?”

Those lips open slightly again, managing, “I-“ before they hang there. I glance up at him and begin to tell him to go on, to distract me from leaning forward.

But my mouth is stopped from emitting sound by his own.

Something whooshes through my body, something that makes me feel numb and exhilarated at the same time. It causes my heart to speed up until it’s pounding in my ears, my hands have suddenly become completely developed in his and they’re warm and comforting, a fire has been lit underneath my skin and I have no hope of catching my breath, but my eyes manage to slide shut.

The contact disappears too fast.

Just as quick as he came, Carl leans back, thankfully continuing to clutch at my hands and unfortunately leaving me with only the remnants of the mint chapstick he puts on before bed every night on my lips. It’s the only thing that informs me I didn’t just imagine that.

I can’t form a coherent thought in my brain. It’s been blown to bits and I’m trying to clutch up the fragments as Carl avidly avoids my eyes that have opened to protest his absence. He gives a second long chew to his bottom lip before whispering out with a breath so low I wouldn’t have been able to hear if it weren’t the middle of the night, “I love you.”

I blink in response, my organs dropping out of my body and through the floor. I fumble for responses and nothing can make it out of my mouth because my heart is crawling up my throat and choking me. Carl’s expression darkens the longer I take to recompose myself and it rips through me like a bullet.

Come on, voice, you can do it.

“S-seriously?”

His head whips up, long hair slapping against his forehead. It’s brown against honest, honest blue and tears spring into my eyes without warning because in this world, in all of this destructive, heartbreaking, terrible shit Carl Grimes found it in himself - his terribly tortured self - to let me through the chinks in his armor and the breaches in the walls he puts up for everyone to see. He loves me. It’s still weaving itself through my mind.

Carl nods with that rare shyness he has and I can feel the smile spreading across my face. I’m going to be exhausted when I come off of this emotional high.

“I love you too.”

The grin that emerges from my words punches me with the reminder of how utterly attractive my best friend is. All sprinkled freckles standing out in the pink hiding under his skin, chocolate hair messed up and undeniably soft, one blue eye shining brightly in the dark and the other a constant reminder of how brave he is, the forest smell that constantly surrounds him shrouding me in a safety I’ve always had when he’s around.

Carl lets out a breath, “God, that would have been embarrassing if you didn’t.” Our laugh is one of happiness this time, full to the brim on relief. It fades out quickly when we find ourselves in each other’s eyes again, Carl clearing his throat after a minute with a question of my name.

I’m pretty sure I give a hummed response.

“Can…” he blinks, takes a few deep and angry breaths. “Can I kiss you again?”

My whole body feels like jello and through that I have to force myself from screaming out in agreeance, muttering out a, “Yes.” that’s bursting with light.

And so we both lean forward this time. My senses indulge in mint and wilderness and body wash and shampoo, his hair tickles my forehead and I know it’s something I’d love getting used to, his hands so used to gripping guns and knives are now holding my cheeks in place and I don’t want that to change anytime soon.

I know we’ll be alright. Somehow, someway.

As long as we’re there to guide each other through the nightmares.

[bamby0304]

Victoria Grimes VII: Power

Summary: Negan. He was the monster everyone had warned them about. He was like nothing Victoria had ever seen before. Worse than Shane, the Governor, the Terminus cannibals, the people at Grady, and the Wolves. Now Negan’s Saviours are here, and they’re about to turn everyone’s lives upside down. Of course, the last thing Vickie expected was to be dragged further into it all than anyone else.

Chapter Ten: One Big, Happy, Dysfunctional Family

Masterlist

Warnings: Gregory, and a little bit of angst.

Bamby

VPOV

Once everyone had gone back to their homes, Maggie, Sasha, Jesus and I had moved to a trailer where my two friends had apparently been staying. The moment the door closed behind us and we were inside, I felt two arms wrap around me in a tight hug as Maggie held me to her chest.

"I'm so glad you're here," she whispered in my ear.

I knelt on the ground, outside of Terminus, just having saved all our people with Carol. We'd found them in the forest, reunited after being away from each other for so long.

Arms wrapped around me as Maggie pulled me into a hug, not giving me a chance to stand up. Her laughter filled my ears as she felled me, tears of joy falling from both hers and my eyes.

Another pair of arms wrapped around us as Glenn hugged me too, smiling widely at me.

I had my friends back. My two best friends.

I smiled lightly, wrapping my own arms around her. "I couldn't wait any longer. I had to come see you." Pulling back I looked to Sasha. "I had to know you were all okay."

Sasha gave me a small smile back. "We are. As much as we can be."

"How about everyone else?" Maggie asked, a tone of urgency in her voice. She needed to know just as badly as I had.

My heart sunk a little... "Negan came yesterday."

"What?" Sasha stepped forward, shocked. "He said a week."

I nodded. "Yeah, well... he came early."

"Did he... is everyone..." Maggie couldn't even manage a sentence.

Sasha finished Maggie's sentences for her, "Did he do anything? Is everyone okay?"

Sighing, I walked away from my friends and to the other side of the trailer, suddenly needing space. "Uh... he was gonna kill Olivia. The Saviours took all our guns, and found three missing. They were gonna kill Olivia, but dad found the guns," I sighed. "Spencer had stolen two... I'd taken the other." Looking down at the ground, I went on. "They took a lot of stuff. All the mattresses, a lot of furniture..."

"How much food?" Sasha asked.

I shook my head. "None."

"None?" Sasha was surprised.

"Apparently Negan told dad there wouldn't be enough for us to survive and work for him, so he didn't take any." I shrugged.

"So... he didn't hurt anyone." Sasha let out a relieved breath.

I looked up at them now, my eyes meeting Maggie's, who instantly knew there was more. "He did hurt someone, didn't he?"

"Daryl."

Jesus, who had been silent up until now, looked at me with pity. "That's your husband, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah." My voice shook as I spoke. "Negan brought Daryl with them. He was a mess." My eyes began to well up. "Bruised and hurt from a fight or beatings or something. He looked sick, like they haven't been feeding him properly." I shook my head.

Maggie moved forward, pulling me into her arms again. "I'm so sorry."

I cried against her, "It was horrible."

A hand rubbed my back as Sasha stood with us. "We'll get him back. I promise."

I looked up then, my eyes catching Jesus' as he watched us. I knew I could never tell Maggie and Sasha what I was planning on doing. I couldn't have told my dad or anyone else back home either. If they found out, they'd try to stop me, and I couldn't have that. But I knew I could tell Jesus. He'd proved to me before that I could trust him. He wouldn't tell anyone anything, and if he did he knew I would kill him- because he wasn't a friend yet and I would kill him to save my own ass in order to save my loved ones.

Pulling away from my friends, I wiped at my tears. "Sorry, I've dumped all of this on you guys. You're all dealing with a lot, and the last thing you need is my stress."

Maggie shook her head, stroking my hair gently. "Don't be ridiculous. We're family. This is what we're here for."

"She right." Sasha nodded. "No matter what, we're still family."

I nodded, feeling a little better. "I really missed you guys."

"We missed you, too." Maggie smiled lightly. "And we're really glad you're here with us. I know I'll sleep better knowing you're okay."

"Speaking of which," Jesus spoke up. "I should leave you three to get some rest. I'm sure you're all exhausted." He gave a short nod. "Thank you for everything you did for us tonight." His eyes landed on me. "It's nice to see you again." He gave a light smile before he turned to the door and left.

Once he was gone, Sasha moved to the couch as Maggie and I moved to the small bed in the trailer. We all got comfortable, but sleep didn't come so easily, as we found ourselves talking for hours. Sasha told me about what she'd been doing while Maggie recovered. Maggie told me about everything that was going on with her baby. While I told them about home and the rest of our family.

By the time we actually managed to close our eyes, I was sure the sun would rise at any moment.

CPOV

Enid and I had walked through the night. It was a long dive to Hilltop, but seeing as I'd wrecked the only working car we'd found, we had to walk which was going to make the journey so much longer.

"Not sorry you saw it?" Enid asked as we walked on separate sides of the road.

"Yeah," I answered. "I watched it. Both times. I didn't look away."

"Why?"

"Because, when it was happening, I knew that I needed to remember it. So when I had the chance to kill him, I wouldn't have a choice."

"I think I'd kill him, too." Her words surprised me. I was pretty sure she'd never killed a person before. "It's messed up, but that's how it is. You do things for the ones you love." Pausing, she took a moment before correcting herself. "Loved."

I shook my head. "It's not for them." Sighing, I changed the subject, "I'm sorry I locked you in the armoury."

"I didn't need to see it. "

I hadn't known what was going to happen that day, but I knew that no matter what, something was going to go wrong. I knew something bad was going to happen. That's why I'd locked Enid in the closet. I didn't want her to have to go through that. I didn't want her to have to see anything, or do anything. Stuff like that changed people, and I didn't want her to change.

"We don't even know if she's okay."

I looked over, seeing how worried she was. "We'll get there."

VPOV

Jesus was currently in Gregory's office, trying to convince his leader to let Maggie and Sasha stay. I'd already reassured him that there was no need to add me to the list, as I would be leaving today. What I hadn't said was that I wasn't going back home. No, I was going somewhere else. But that didn't matter right now.

Before I'd left Alexandria, I had packed a few things for Maggie and Sasha just in case. Clothes had been included. They'd been here for a few days now, and I knew they'd probably want a change of clothes that came from home. Which had saved them from having to where some of Jesus' clothes as well.

I'd brought some more stuff as well. Small things. One of Glenn's and one of Abraham's shirts. Some photos Aly had taken and collected of people back home. A couple of torches and knives just in case.

I needed to know that they were going to be okay. I needed to know that had everything they might need before I left.

"Do you really think bringing that thing is going to go down well?" Sasha asked, gesturing to my bat.

"No. I think it's going to make Gregory sweat," I answered honestly.

Sasha looked at the weapon, repulsed. "Why do you even still have it?"

"Negan said I have to keep it," I answered, hating the fact as much as the rest of my friends and family did. Going on, I changed the subject. "So does Gregory even know I'm here?" I asked Maggie and Sasha as we moved towards the Barrington house.

"I'm sure if Gregory knew you were here he would have made an appearance by now," Maggie noted, a slight grin playing on her lips.

Sasha looked to her confused. "Is there something I should know?"

Maggie's grin grew as she nodded. "Last time we were here... let's just say he likes her less than he likes me."

Sasha looked to me with a sigh. She'd been hoping I might be able to help change the guy's mind about them staying. But I was pretty sure me being here was just going to make things worse.

"I don't deal well with douche bags," was all I had to say before we entered the building.

Walking up to the closed office doors, Sasha called out. "Gregory?" She didn't even wait before pushing the doors open.

Gregory sat at his desk, a fake polite smile on his lips... until his eyes landed on me. "What is she doing here?"

Rolling my eyes, I leaned against the wall by the door. "Relax. I just wanted to make sure Maggie and Sasha were okay. I'm not staying." I pressed the end of my bat to the hardwood floor. "Trust me, the less time I spend with you, the better for everyone."

Gregory's eyes watched my bat, slight fear in his eyes. "What are you doing with that thing?"

"It's a gift. From my new admirer," I answered, lifting the bat in the air, letting the light coming in from the windows catch on the metal.

The bat technically wasn't a gift. I'd found it before meeting any Saviour. I'd actually found it the day I met Jesus- though if he remembered that, he didn't show it. Saying it was a gift, was just another way I could mess with Gregory, because messing with him was always fun and always seemed to get me what I wanted.

"An admirer?" Gregory asked, both intrigued and confused.

My eyes met Gregory's then. "Negan."

He was caught off guard then. Jesus as well. Both men looked at me with a mixture of fear, confusion, worry and pity.

Maggie and Sasha knew how Negan was around me. They'd seen it with their own eyes, and I'd told them the rest- though not about my deal I'd made with him that kept Carl safe. So my words didn't get a reaction from them.

Looking away from me now, Gregory turned to Sasha and Maggie. "Ah, uh... I was just telling Ms Caitlin to bring up some of her famous rhubarb preserves for you both. It's our way of saying thank you for helping out last night." he was completely ignoring me now.

Jesus turned to him. "It's Ms Maitlin."

Ignoring Jesus as well, Gregory nodded to Sasha and Maggie. "You can take them with you when you go. And you should go now, because the Saviours could get back any minute."

Sasha Maggie and I shared a look. We all knew Maggie couldn't go. If we wanted the baby to live- and we did- then she had to stay.

"I'll go." Sasha offered.

Maggie shook her head. "Sasha."

Not listening to Maggie, Sasha went on, "But let her stay. We'll call it even on last night."

"No deal." Gregory didn't even blink. "But it's been lovely having you here."

Sasha shook her head, stepping closer to the desk. "Just tell me how we can make this work."

Gregory's eyes roamed Sasha's body. "I think we'd need to meet on that one-on-one just to explore-"

Maggie cut him off, knowing what he was going on about- he'd tried it on us. "Go to hell."

Gregory looked to Maggie and I as if we were the ones in the wrong. "Are you actually implying-" He stopped himself, shaking his head. "No. You know what? I'm sorry. I'm gonna tell Ms Caitlin to keep her preserves."

I shook my head. "Can I kill this asshole already?"

"Victoria," Jesus warned.

Before anyone else could say anything or do anything the sound of trucks approaching and people shouting had as all move to one of the windows that faced the community and the gates. Trucks were driving into the community, people jumping out and headed towards the Barrington house. The leader of the crowd... I recognised that face in an instant. It was Simon. Negan's right-hand man.

"Shit," I sighed, shaking my head. What are we going to do now?

Gregory turned to us. "You know what they'll do if they find you here? Jesus, get them in the closet."

Maggie went to argue as he ushered us out of the room. "Gregory-"

But he didn't let her go on. He just kept shoving. "Go get in there now. And you don't move, you don't speak, and maybe you'll get out of this alive."

Having no other choice, we did as he said, walking out of the room as we followed Jesus.

I came to a halt as I saw the hallway closet. "We're not going in there."

Sasha turned to me. "If we don't hide, the Saviours will know we're working with the Hilltop."

Nodding I gestured to the stairs. "Which is why we can't hide somewhere they might look."

Jesus frowned for a moment as he took in my words, before coming to understand me. "I think I know where you can hide." He nodded before changing his course and taking us up the stairs.

CPOV

Enid and I came to a clearing. After hours of walking and rolling- we'd found some roller-skates on the way- we'd finally made it to the Hilltop. But as we stepped up to the tree line, we found we were the only visitors the community had.

Saviours.

Looking at all the trucks parked out the gates, I sighed, "I don't think Negan's here. I don't see that black truck."

"You weren't taking a drive. You weren't coming to get me."

I turned to Enid, shaking my head. "I can't let them get away with this. You know I can't."

"I know," she sighed.

"Come with me." I turned my whole body towards her then. "You want to kill them, too. We can do it."

"Uh-" She thought about it before shaking her head. "You said it. It'd be for us. Not for Abraham, not for Glenn. Not for Maggie. You're doing it for you."

"Yeah." I didn't' see any point in lying.

She stepped closer to me. "So if it all goes right and you do it how do you get away?"

I shook my head. "It wouldn't matter." I'd thought about it before, and I'd decided that as long as Negan was gone, nothing else mattered.

"It would to me." She stepped even closer, leaving mere inches between us as she looked up at me.

Leaning forward, I pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. As I pulled back, we both hesitated, looking at each other, before we met half way, pressing our lips together.

It was my first kiss, and nothing like I thought it would be like. It wasn't how they descried it in books or movies. But it wasn't just two set of lips pressing together either. It felt... right. It made me feel stronger, more confident. It gave me a purpose.

It gave my mission a purpose. If I failed, Enid was in danger, and I couldn't have that. I'd do anything for her and everyone I cared about.

Pulling back, she looked up at me. "Please don't go. Just come with me. You can't make it-"

I cut her off. "I'm just gonna go home."

But she saw straight through me. "You're lying."

"No, I'm not," I argued.

She gave a lit chuckle. "You shouldn't go. But I can't stop you." Having nothing else to say, she started forward, moving towards the Hilltop.

"They'll see you."

"No." She shook her head, still walking. "They won't." Then she was gone, and I had no idea if I would ever see her again...

MPOV

Crammed in the wardrobe with Sasha and Vickie, we listened as the sound of footsteps moved closer and closer to the door. Vickie looked to us, the only one with weapons, as she pulled out her knives, handed us one each, and changed the grip on her bat.

I looked down at the knife in my hand with a frown. I didn't recognise it. The one she gave Sasha was the one Daryl had given her before we'd met. But this one?

Shaking my head, I focused, hearing the footsteps come to a stop right outside the door. There were more important things to think about right now. Like the fact there could be a Saviour right outside this closet...

Adjusting my hold on the knife, the three of us got ready just in case we had to fight our way out of this.

"It's me." I let out a sigh of relief at the sound of Jesus' voice. Slowly he opened the door, letting us out as Sasha and I handed the knives back to Vickie. "They're filling up the trucks," he explained. "They'll be gone soon."

Before any of us could say anything, the bedroom door opened as Gregory stormed into the room, looking furious. "I told you to hide them in the hallway closet!"

"No, you said 'closet'," Jesus corrected.

Gregory shook his head, his anger increasing. "This is my bedroom. What if they came in here before I-"

Sasha cut him off, "Before you tried to give us up?"

"They would've killed you first," I noted.

Vickie shrugged as she put her knives away. "Or I would have."

Gregory ignored Vickie, looking to me. "Honey, I'm talking to Jesus."

Jesus glared at his leader. "Stop."

"Why are you even defending her?" Gregory shook his head, getting more and more worked up. "We're here right now because she and Vivien and Rich didn't handle things like they said they would."

"The name is Victoria, asshole. And my father is Rick, not Rich." Vickie rolled her eyes. She didn't even get angry with the man anymore, he just seemed to annoy her.

Jesus turned to his leader. "The Saviours tried to kill you," he reminded Gregory.

But Gregory didn't seem to see it that way. "That was a misunderstanding. And as soon as the Saviours leave, we get them the hell out of here before something bad really happens," he said before turning to leave.

"Stop!" Jesus called him back. "They're staying. Or do you want to make it public?" he threatened. "You want to make the deal with Alexandria public? Lose your plausible deniability? Lose your position?"

Gregory scoffed, "So you're gonna be in charge now?"

"No." Jesus shrugged. "It's just that you won't be. Maggie and Sasha are staying. Vickie too, if she wants. I'm staying. We're all gonna be one big, happy, dysfunctional family."

Looking from Jesus, to Sasha, Vickie and myself, Gregory gave a bitter chuckle, "So we will be. And I'll see us through this. I made progress with them today. You saw it."

Jesus shook his head. "That's not what I saw."

"Yeah? Well, it's what happened," Gregory insisted as he moved to stand in front of me. "We play nice, they play nice. See, dear? Saviours can actually be quite reasonable."

Not caring what he had to say, I only had one thing on my mind.

Lifting my fist and pulling it back, I gave him one hard punch to the face. He groaned as he stumbled back a step, lifting his hand to his cheek where I'd hit him as he turned to face me again.

Before he could say anything, I reached for his pocket, pulling a chain out of it as Glenn's watch came out of the pocket and into my hand.

Gregory watch, looking down at the watch. "It's a fine watch. Doesn't need to be left out in the rain."

"This is our home now," I told him, having nothing to say about the watch. "So you'll learn to start to call me by my name. Not Marsha, not 'dear', not 'honey'. Maggie. Maggie Rhee."

VPOV

Jesus, Maggie, Sasha and myself stood by a window, looking out at the gates as we watched the Saviours start to leave. They'd gone through the place and taken everything they wanted just like they had at Alexandria.

"When I got here, Gregory was already in charge. Thought the people chose him for a reason," Jesus explained. "Looking at it now, I think it just happened. I didn't like how he did things. But I couldn't imagine anyone else in his place. I can now."

"Who?" Maggie asked as she kept her eyes focused on the people outside.

Jesus didn't answer right away, and I turned to see him looking at Maggie. "We'll talk about it sometime. I should've talked to Gregory sooner. I'm sorry. Hopefully, you'll let me make it up to you."

A small smile played on my lips, understanding what he was saying and what he could see for the Hilltop.

Maggie finally turned to him, giving a gentle nod. "We will." Looking out the window once more she started to move back. "The gates are closed," she noted, about to leave.

Jesus stopped her. "Wait, they're still loading up outside."

But she simply turned to Sasha and myself. "I'll see you back at the trailer."

I wanted to pull her in for another hug, because I knew chances were, I wasn't going to see her again after this. If I wanted to go through with my plan, I had to act fast. But if I hugged her, she would know something was up, and then she would stop me.

So I simply watched as she walked out of the room.

Once Maggie was gone, Sasha spoke up, "If you want to make it up to us can you find where Negan lives?"

Jesus looked surprised for a moment, but still nodded. "One of the trucks is going back there, so yeah, I can do that."

"Can you keep it between us? Just you, me and Vickie?" The fact Sasha wanted to keep this from Maggie even had me feeling a little guilty, but then I remembered my own secrets, so I didn't bother arguing.

"No Maggie?" Jesus sighed. "I don't like that."

Sasha nodded, looking out the window again. "Me neither. But we have to keep her safe," she noted before turning. "I'm going to go see Abraham before I head back to the trailer." She looked to me. "You want to come?"

"I'll be there in a minute." I gave her a small smile. "Gotta talk to Jesus." Nodding, Sasha simply gave me a gentle smile back before she walked out, leaving Jesus and I alone in the room. When I was sure she was gone, I turned to the man. "You've got questions, right?"

"What are you really doing here? Because I have a feeling there's more to it than you just wanting to see Maggie and Sasha."

I gave a short nod. "I wanted to talk to you as well. Ask you a few questions myself."

"What questions?"

"Did Gregory tell the Saviours it was us who killed Negan's people?" I asked without skipping a beat.

Jesus shook his head. "Not that I know of. But if he had, I'm sure things would have gone a lot differently when your friends arrived here."

"Good point." I shrugged. "Next question. Do you really not know where Negan lives?"

Frowning, Jesus shook his head. "Why do you want to know where he lives?"

Refusing to look at him, I thought about telling him the truth. I felt if I could tell anyone, it would be him. We weren't close enough for me to listen to his protests if he decided to change my mind. But at the same time, I didn't feel like speaking the words out loud. If I did, then it would all be too real.

So I lied. "I want to know where he lives so I know where to kill him. This guy is a creep and a monster. He needs to be put down."

Okay, yes, I meant what I was saying. I wanted Negan dead. He killed Glenn and Abe. He was going down. But... I wasn't stupid. You can't just kill a guy like Negan. He's a survivor... just like me.

I could feel his eyes watching me carefully. "You weren't lying about him admiring you, were you?"

"Nope." I shook my head, standing up straighter as I turned to face him completely.

Searching my eyes, Jesus took a moment before he spoke again, "There's nothing I can say to stop you, is there?"

"Nope."

Sighing, he nodded. "You don't want me to tell anyone what you're doing, do you?"

"Nope."

He sighed then. "You want my help... don't you?"

"Yep." I gave a short nod. "I can't do this on my own, Jesus. Besides, you're already heading that way," I noted with a smile on my lips, hoping I could charm him into doing this.

Shaking his head, he looked up at the roof as if he were asking for help from above. "Fine," he finally spoke. "I'll help you."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me, Victoria. Because chances are, neither of us are coming back from this," he noted as he turned away and left the room.

Once he was gone, I looked out the window again as my smile fell slightly. He was probably right, I realised. But still... There was no stopping me now...

MPOV

I moved around towards the graves, wanting to see Glenn. But as the graves came into view, I came to a stop, seeing Enid sitting on the dirt, looking at Abraham's grave, where three green balloons had been tied to the stick sticking out of the ground by the grave. She'd meant them for Glenn, but I couldn't tell her she'd put them on the wrong grave. I couldn't do that to her when she looked that sad.

Enid... she was like a sister to me in away. She was more than a friend at least. After losing so much, and so many loved ones, it was nice to have someone like her. Vickie ad I were close- closer than we were with most people. But I liked having someone I could be a big sister too.

Having her here, it was exactly what I needed.

"You're here," I spoke, catching her attention.

She looked to me, getting to her feet as we met each other half way. "Are you okay?"

"I'm not," I told her honestly. "But I will be."

I sat at the table in the trailer as Enid laid out a plate of sliced bread in the middle of the table. We were just about to have dinner- which she'd cooked.

As she sat down, she spoke, "People told me you killed walkers and a car with a tractor?"

"I couldn't sit by and watch. Not again." I shrugged. "So I guess I sat and did something."

"You're supposed to take it easy," she noted.

"It wasn't hard. It wasn't the first time." When she looked at e confused, I went on. "There was this boy in high school."

"You ran over the boy?" she asked, shocked.

I shook my head, with a slight grin on my lips. "His car."

"Oh."

I chuckled. "It was a Camaro. And then it wasn't."

We both laughed then, as the door opened and Sasha walked in.

"Enid."

Enid smiled up at her. "Hi. I- I came to help."

"You came by yourself?" Sasha asked, surprised.

It took a moment, but Enid eventually nodded. "Yeah." She turned to the table. "Have some dinner."

Moving to join us at the table, Sasha looked to me. "Where's Vickie?"

"Vickie's here?' Enid asked, surprised.

I nodded to her. "She came last night," I explained before turning to Sasha. "I haven't seen her since I left the two of you and Jesus. But I'm sure she'll be here soon." I'd set out a plate for her as well, in the hopes she'd come for dinner.

"She will be." Sasha nodded, taking a seat. "Why are there balloons on Abraham's grave?"

When Enid looked embarrassed, I shrugged at her. "I didn't have the heart to tell you. Glenn would've. He was a bad liar."

She simply turned to Sasha. "Sorry."

But Sasha shook her head. "There's no need to be sorry. Nothing wrong with balloons."

"There's nothing marking the graves," Enid noted.

"Nope." I pulled Glenn's watch out of my pocket. "I was gonna use this for Glenn's. It was my dad's. He gave it to him. But I'm giving it to you." I handed it over to Enid. "We don't need anything to remember him by. We have us," was all I said before I reached for their hands and began to pray. "For this new morning, with its light. For rest and shelter of the night. For health and food. For love and friends. For everything that goodness sends. Amen."

"Amen."

VPOV

Jesus and I moved quickly. Once the trucks were rolling, and no one was watching, the two of us rushed over to the last truck. Jesus had spotted the Saviours putting a box in it that was apparently going to Negan personally.

Moving the plastic flaps away from the trucks back opening, Jesus climbed up and turned, offering me his hand before pulling me up to join him.

I gave him a small smile. "Thanks."

"No problem." He shrugged as he turned to the box he'd recognised, and pulled out a bottle of scotch. "Want some?"

I shook my head. "I'm good."

"Fair enough." He nodded before taking a drink from the bottle and then reaching his arm out of the truck before he poured the liquid on to the road.

Grinning, I watched as he smiled mischievously at me. I could just see doing that to the rest of the bottles. But before I could ask if that was the case, a voice had us both turn to look further into the truck.

"Hey."

I frowned as a head popped up from behind more boxes. "Carl?"

Bamby

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[dfroza]

“Do you love Me?”

imagine being asked this by the One who made us. and so we have been made free to choose, not forced to be in Love. and Love is eternal. it never ends.

(Love is Light)

it is True illumination.

Today’s reading of the Scriptures from the New Testament is the 21st and closing chapter of the book of John:

There was one other time when Jesus appeared to the disciples—this time by the Sea of Tiberias. This is how it happened: Simon Peter, Thomas (the Twin), Nathanael (the Galilean from Cana), the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together.

Simon Peter (to disciples): I am going fishing.

Disciples: Then we will come with you.

They went out in the boat and caught nothing through the night. As day was breaking, Jesus was standing on the beach; but they did not know it was Jesus.

Jesus: My sons, you haven’t caught any fish, have you?

Disciples: No.

Jesus: Throw your net on the starboard side of the boat, and your net will find the fish.

They did what He said, and suddenly they could not lift their net because of the massive weight of the fish that filled it. The disciple loved by Jesus turned to Peter and said:

Beloved Disciple: It is the Lord.

Immediately, when Simon Peter heard these words, he threw on his shirt (which he would take off while he was working) and dove into the sea. The rest of the disciples followed him, bringing in the boat and dragging in their net full of fish. They were close to the shore, fishing only about 100 yards out. When they arrived on shore, they saw a charcoal fire laid with fish on the grill. He had bread too.

Jesus (to disciples): Bring some of the fish you just caught.

Simon Peter went back to the boat to unload the fish from the net. He pulled 153 large fish from the net. Despite the number of the fish, the net held without a tear.

Jesus: Come, and join Me for breakfast.

Not one of the disciples dared to ask, “Who are You?” They knew it was the Lord. Jesus took the bread and gave it to each of them, and then He did the same with the fish. This was the third time the disciples had seen Jesus since His death and resurrection. They finished eating breakfast.

Jesus: Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these other things?

Simon Peter: Yes, Lord. You know that I love You.

Jesus: Take care of My lambs.

Jesus asked him a second time . . .

Jesus: Simon, son of John, do you love Me?

Simon Peter: Yes, Lord. You must surely know that I love You.

Jesus: Shepherd My sheep.

(for the third time) Simon, son of John, do you love Me?

Peter was hurt because He asked him the same question a third time, “Do you love Me?”

Simon Peter: Lord, You know everything! You know that I love You.

Jesus: Look after My sheep. I tell you the truth: when you were younger, you would dress yourself and go wherever you pleased; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and take you to a place you do not want to go.

Jesus said all this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. After this conversation, Jesus said,

Jesus: Follow Me!

Peter turned around to see the disciple loved by Jesus following the two of them, the same disciple who leaned back on Jesus’ side during their supper and asked, “Lord, who is going to betray You?”

Peter: Lord, and what will happen to this man?

Jesus: If I choose for him to remain till I return, what difference will this make to you? You follow Me!

It is from this exchange with Jesus that some thought this disciple would not die. But Jesus never said that. He said, “If I choose for him to remain till I return, what difference will this make to you?” That very same disciple is the one offering this truthful account written just for you. There are so many other things that Jesus said and did; and if these accounts were also written down, the books could not be contained in the entire cosmos.

The Book of John, Chapter 21 (The Voice)

Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is the 11th chapter of the book of Ecclesiastes which points to a baby growing in a mother’s womb where life begins on earth at the genesis spark of conception:

Teacher: Don’t be afraid to release your bread upon the waters,

for in due time you will find it.

Divide your portion—put seven here, maybe eight there—

for you can never be sure when or where disaster will strike.

When the clouds are dark and heavy with rain,

showers will fall upon the earth.

When a tree falls—whether to the south or the north—

it will stay where it lands.

Those who watch and wait for favorable winds never plant,

and those who watch and fret over every cloud never harvest.

You can no more predict the path of the wind than you can explain how a child’s bones are formed in a mother’s womb. Even more, you will never understand the workings of the God who made all things.

Get up early to sow your seed,

and in the evening find worthwhile things to do,

For you never know which will profit you—

maybe this, maybe that, maybe both.

Light is sweet;

one glimpse of the sun delights the eyes.

If a person lives many years, then he should learn to enjoy each and every one; but he should not forget the dark days ahead, for there will be plenty of them. All that is to come—whether bright days or dark—is fleeting. Be happy, and celebrate all of the goodness of youth while you are young. Cultivate a cheerful heart every day you have youth. Go where your heart takes you. Take in the sights. Enjoy, but remember that God will hold us accountable for all that we do. When all is said and done, clear your mind of all its worries. Free your body of all its troubles while you can, for youth and the prime of life will soon vanish.

The Book of Ecclesiastes, Chapter 11 (The Voice)

my personal reading of the Scriptures for Sunday, may 30 of 2021 with a paired chapter from each Testament of the Bible along with Today’s Proverbs and Psalms

A post by John Parsons about courage:

Because we are in the midst of a raging spiritual war, it is imperative to gird your mind and heart with truth... Keep yourself armed for the battle and be aware of the common strategies of the enemy of your soul (2 Cor. 2:11). Trust in God’s power to deliver you from evil (1 Cor. 10:13). Be resolute in your convictions, refusing to yield to worldly pressures to compromise your faith in the name of supposed “tolerance.” It is not loving to suppress the truth of Yeshua or to minimize the truth claims of our Messiah’s vision of reality. Fight the good fight of faith, and take hold of those spiritual weapons that are “mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds” (2 Cor. 10:4). Always be ready to yield every thought to the obedience of your LORD (2 Cor. 10:4). Know that this is the fight for your life, friend. The Prince of Peace (שַׂר־שָׁלוֹם) came to make peace between God and sinners through his sacrificial blood, but he did so by means of a terrible conflict with the powers of darkness, and his message still offends those enslaved by pride and fear... The devil provides weapons for those in his service, namely violence, the lies of darkness, the impudence of pride, and the vain seductions of this world, and therefore it behooves us to avail ourselves of the weapons of faith received by the agency of the Spirit of God (Eph. 6:11-18). Be sober and vigilant because your adversary (ἀντίδικος) the devil prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world” (1 Pet. 5:7-8). Yield yourself to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you (James 4:7). The end of all things draws near: be awake; call upon the Name of the LORD.... [Hebrew for Christians]

5.28.21 • Facebook

An email message by Glenn Jackson:

May 30th

IDENTIFICATION

[part 7 of 15]

We Were Buried With Him

* We have seen how He became sin with our sin, how He became our Substitute, bearing our diseases. We have seen Him under the absolute dominion and power of the adversary on the cross.

We saw Him leave the cross, bearing our diseases and sins away as He was conveyed to our place of confinement. We can see Satan's gratification.

We can see that great celebration in Hell when Satan brought Jesus, a captive, into the prison house, Read Acts 2:24, 27, 31-32.

You remember how the Philistines rejoiced over Samson, and with what joy they put out his eyes and bound him in helplessness. What a gala day it must have been in Hell when He who had raised Lazarus from the dead, had destroyed the power of death and disease, had ruled the winds and the waves, had fed the hungry, cast out demons, and defeated Satan in open combat, was conquered and made one with the devil. He was made sick.

They could see in Him all the diseases of the ages.

What an hour it must have been. When the disciples took His body from the cross, embalmed it, and laid it in Joseph's tomb, how little they appreciated what He was going through, and what His sufferings were.

How little the world appreciated where Jesus was and what He was doing. They laid His body in the tomb, and the Roman Government sealed it and set guards to keep watch to see that the body of Jesus was not stolen. They had heard Him cry, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?"

God had forsaken Him whom they loved. They had lost all hope. They had thought that it was He who was going to redeem Israel. For three days and three nights the Lamb of God was our Substitute in Hell. He was there for us. He had our pains and our diseases, our sins and iniquities.

He was there waiting until the claims of justice were fully met. Such an hour had never been, never can be again. There had to be an adequate meeting of the penalty of the transgressions of the human race, and He met them. He became one with Satan when He became sin, as we now become one with Him when we are Recreated.

...."He made Him [Jesus] who knew no sin [to be] sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him".... 2 Corinthians 5:21 NASB

Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research

May 30, 2021

Man Must Repent

“As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God.” (Romans 3:10-11)

From the moment Adam and Eve disobeyed their Creator in the Garden, humanity has attempted to deflect conscious acceptance of guilt. Adam blamed God because “the woman” was given to him by the Creator. Eve blamed the serpent—and you and I have continued that reaction ever since.

That is precisely why repentance is a requirement for salvation. When Adam rebelled, the relationship between man and God was destroyed: “By the offence of one judgment came upon all men to condemnation” and “by one man’s disobedience many were made sinners” (Romans 5:18-19). All men have “no hope, and [are] without God in the world” (Ephesians 2:12).

The death that entered the world because of Adam (Romans 5:12) not only introduced physical death into the entire creation (Romans 8:22) but a spiritual separation from the life of God, as well, that eliminated the possibility of our comprehending God’s nature. “But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned” (1 Corinthians 2:14). For millennia God bore man’s ignorance of what God was going to do through Christ Jesus at Calvary by faith in the promise of the coming “Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world” (John 1:29). “And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent” (Acts 17:30).

Each of us must change our mind and admit we are sinful and desperately need God’s gracious forgiveness, praying, “God be merciful to me a sinner” (Luke 18:13). HMM III