#In him little shorts that were gender locked yesterday and his cute shoes

[emile-hides]

The year is 2024, 8 years post release, and Pokemon Go not only finally gives trainers the ability to have more than just the default hair style and one of four eye and skin colors, but decided while they were there to completely blast every other Pokemon Game in the world out of existence by removing Gender entirely and giving the player customizable body types complete with separate sliders for Weight, Muscle, Shoulders, Chest, and Waist

[just-kit-ink]

All the rest of WFRR characters loll

*deep breath*

//Okay let's do this! I'm only doing characters that were created for the movie/those that had the most screentime.

Part 1/2

Lt. Santino

1: sexuality headcanon: We never really see/hear about a significant other in the film but I'm going to headcanon that he's bisexual but closeted.

2: otp: ? Maybe he has a lover we don't know about who also works at the police station.

3: brotp: Him and Eddie Valiant of course!

4: notp: Him with Jessica or Dolores

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: That he's been a friend of Eddie's since his brother was still alive and on the force. That he doesn't have as much of a prejudice towards toons as his detective buddy does.

6: favorite line from this character: "Marvin Acme...the rabbit CACKED him last night!"

7: one way in which I relate to this character: He has to look away when Doom dips the shoe.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: That he treats Eddie's drinking problem as an inconvinience instead of an addiction.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: Complete cinnamon roll, just a very professional one.

Marvin Acme

1: sexuality headcanon: He likes the laaaaddiies

2: otp: Don't know? I always assumed he was already married and if not that at least has a string of messy affairs/seperations with both human and toon women.

3: brotp: I'll bet he was at least on speaking terms with RK Maroon before his death.

4: notp: Him and Jessica Rabbit of any sort, even fake for the cameras.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: He's pulled the disappearing ink trick with wealthier and scarier people. Some found it amusing, others earned him a black eye.

6: favorite line from this character: "Oh it's a Panic!"

7: one way in which I relate to this character: I love cartoons and I laugh a lot.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: The fact that he keeps on pestering Eddie with his gags even after Eddie has made it clear that he's not in the mood. Also the Patty-Cake pictures, where he's making all those sounds but you can't see what's happening!

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: A little bit of both. On one hand, he loves what he does and clearly has a respect for Toons but he also did business with Maroon which eventually lead to his death at the hands of Judge Doom.

Dolores

1: sexuality headcanon: Heterosexual and in love/going steady with Eddie Valiant

2: otp: Dolores and Eddie

3: brotp: Also her and Eddie as well as her and Roger but I quite like the idea of her being good friends with Jessica.

4: notp: Her and any of her patrons.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: That she and Eddie love Catalina so much because it was where they met. Eddie, Teddy and their father were doing a circus show there and needed a volunteer from the audience. He pulled a bouquet out of thin air and gave it to her and then pretended to saw her in half - it was so romantic!

6: favorite line from this character: Too many! She's such a sass mouth! "Dabbling in watercolours, Eddie?" "Is that a rabbit in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" and "Is he always this funny or only on days when he's wanted for murder?"

7: one way in which I relate to this character: That she works hard and is tired all the time.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: The scene where she sees Eddie and Jessica together and Eddie's trousers have fallen down while Jessie is talking to him and it looks...bad. Doesn't help tt he bumps his head on her chest as he goes to pull them up.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: Cinnamon roll that you don't want to mess with!

Baby Herman

1: sexuality headcanon: He loves human women...and is possibly a little bit gay for some male toons. (But the idea of that is weird to me, because he's literally a baby it's like shipping Stewie Griffen with someone.)

2: otp: Him and his human girlfriend that you see in the movie. I think she's just credited as "Ms Herman."

3: brotp: Baby Herman and Roger Rabbit. Before Roger started being late to rehearsals and messing up his cues, they were best friends.

4: notp: Probably him and Jessica, although he is very envious of Roger.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: He plays both male and female baby roles. That everything in his home is baby-themed, right down to the giant cot and mobile. If he needs anything, he calls his mistress via a baby monitor.

6: favorite line from this character: "The whole thing stinks like yesterday's diapers!" and "What da hell was wrong with that take?!"

7: one way in which I relate to this character: Looks pure but is actually a foul-mouth.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: When he throws a tantrum because he dropped his cigar after Eddie pushed his pram down the hall...and when he darts underneath a woman's skirt...and the fact that he claims to have a "50 year old lust and a 3 year old dinky..." Wtf.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: Both. He's a baby who chain smokes and can wrap anyone around his little finger by offering to pay them.

Benny the Cab

1: sexuality headcanon: Well he's a car, so I don't think gender's an issue. If you're wheels are shined and you got a nice set of headlights, he doesn't mind.

2: otp: I'd pair him with a nice flower-glass Corvette.

3: brotp: Benny and Roger. He is Roger's car after all.

4: notp: Him and any human character.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: That he also often appears in Roger Rabbit shorts, as the vehicle for a quick getaway during a chase, or comedic car wash scene.

6: favorite line from this character: "Sister, Mary Francis, what the hell happened in here?" and "I can't believe they locked me up for driving on the sidewalk!"

7: one way in which I relate to this character: Likes helping, makes sarcastic quips.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: That he drives straight through the Dip and burns his tires and has to waddle over to Roger when he finds him which is like the equivalent of burning your feet with acid to him. Also, when he tells Roger to be careful using a real gun because "this ain't no cartoon ya know!" ...As he, a car, drives away in his own car.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: Cinnamon roll unless you're a fan of the Brooklyn Dodgers.

Smartass Weasel

1: sexuality headcanon: I'm going to go with pansexual. He only cares if you have status and are not human (though that doesn't mean he hasn't had a fling with one or two.)

2: otp: No love interest in the film. Although I'm kind of a sucker for a tough guy character falling for a really sweet and innocent character.

3: brotp: Him and the rest of the Toon Patrol. He does care for them and he only hits them for laughing because he knows they are suscepitable to dying from it. Also, I feel like he would have gotten along better with Eddie Valiant had he not fallen in with Judge Doom because they're both bitter and hate the industry.

4: notp: I would say him and Doom. Or any of his boys.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: That he was drawn to be wicked but not a villain. He has multiple other items aside from his suit that are bright pink because he likes to dress flashy...and that the only people exempt from potential target by his patrol are children.

6: favorite line from this character: Honestly, every line of his is terrific. "Step outta line and we'll leave you and your laundry out to dry!" "Say Boss, what do we do with the wallflower?" and "Want us to disresemble the place?"

7: one way in which I relate to this character: Small but feisty.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: That all his team members get cute little toon ghosts when they die but he just...dissolves in Dip.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: Problematic fave definetly! But even though he's mean, sneaky and carries a lot of weapons, he's also funny, charming and I can't help but feel a bit sorry for him because he was just tryig to please his boss. Weasels certainly are assigned villain roles in cartoons and maybe he was just fed up with it so he decided to become a real one.

Greasy Weasel

1: sexuality headcanon: Heterosexual, biromantic...and he's an utter sex-pest.

2: otp: He needs someone who can reign him and his desires in so he can actually focus on whatever he's doing.

3: brotp: Him and the rest of the Toon Patrol, especially Smartass. He admires his boss' attitude.

4: notp: Him and Jessica. Their encounter in the film is cringe-worthy to watch.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: That he has a gentler, romantic side deep down but doesn't want to show it because he has too much bravado.

6: favorite line from this character: "I'll handle this one..." followed closely by a LOT of uncensored Spanish curse words!

7: one way in which I relate to this character: We both get crushes easily.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: When he reaches down Jessica's dress. He's so confident until her hidden bear-trap clamps onto his hand. He probably replayed the first three seconds beforehand over and over in his head though.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: Problematic fav for sure! Perverted, knife-wielding henchman who reaches into someone's bosom in a canon Disney movie. Yet, he's still weirdly adorable. If he were human, I might say different.

Wheezy Weasel

1: sexuality headcanon: I'm just going to say it...I headcanon him as gay and asexual.

2: otp: Don't really see him with anyone unless they're another smoker, (or are willing to put up with smoke.)

3: brotp: Definetly him and Stupid! Look at the way they drill through the wall together and laugh at our hero's predicaments towards the end if the film! They're great pals, having a good time!

4: notp: Him and Greasy.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: He enjoys Camel cigarettes the best. And he's the best card player in the group.

6: favorite line from this character: It's so funny because he doesn't have many lines in the movie so I'm just going to say his dialogue from the Cartoon Spin ride at Disneyland "But Boss, Benny knows ToonTown, like the back of his tread!" and his laugh.

7: one way that I relate to this character: Chill most days until I see or hear something funny then I lose it.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: The fact that he tries to grab onto his ghost to try and pull it back into his body before it leaves.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: Problematic fav. Carries a tommy gun and is not afraid to use it, knows that smoking won't do him any harm since he's a toon and is good at following orders even if they're immoral.

Psycho Weasel

1: sexuality headcanon: N/A Psycho is like the family dog. A feral one...that was rescued from the streets.

2: otp: None. Unless you like snuggling, just mind the teeth.

3: brotp: Psycho and Stupid as well as him and Wheezy. Wheezy is like a parent looking after him and Stupid is like his sibling.

4: notp: Basically him with any other character.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: He doesn't really use his barber-shop razor for anything nefarious, but he likes how threatening he looks with it. Also, when you scratch behind his ear, his leg does the scritch thing where he kicks behind it.

6: favorite line from this character: "Time to kill the raaaabbbit...hee hee!"

7: one way in which I relate to this character: We're both a bit mad. He's just toonier. And we laugh like maniacs.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: When Eddie Valiant just straight up kicks him across across the bar when he tries to attack him.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: I'm going to say he's a problematic cinnamon roll. He has no problem doing wicked things but he's too small and cute to really be considered awful. At one point Eddie snatches Marvin Acme's will out of his hands and he looks like a kicked puppy. He bad but he baby.

Stupid Weasel

1: sexuality headcanon: A hopeless romantic for anyone, but too dumb to realise when someone's flirting with him.

2: otp: I like the idea of him and an equally dim character so they can both be ignorant and happy together.

3: brotp: Stupid and Psycho. They're just the children of the patrol.

4: notp: Him with his boys or human characters.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: He once got into a heated argument with another weasel who had broken into their hideout until Smartass informed him he was looking at a mirror.

6: favorite line from this character: Again, he gets hardly any lines. "Boss! Look at the little birdies!"

7: one way in which I relate to this character: I have my moments where common sense just leaves me.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: Him falling backwards into a row of humans at the bar when he is pushed by Eddie. They just...goes right down, like bowling pins or dominos.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: Despite being in the Toon Patrol he's a total cinnamon roll. I don't even think he knows what he's doing half the time and that's really sweet.