#In all seriousness jesus can the illness of brain please leave me alone for like 5 seconds. Id like tohave a nice day pless

[sepiamestus]

Me: omg wow i finally have free time i can do something fun

The evil worm that lives in my brain:

[heyitsyn]

Nekoma!Manager!Male!Reader

a/n: never written male reader before but this was a funny request and i really do see the irony in this

anon request:  

absolutely LOVED your seijoh hcs! you said you wanted to do the other schools so i thought, how about nekoma but with a MALE manager bc it would be so ironic to have a male god as their manager rather than a goddess that they always talked about!! thank youuuuuuu!!!!!!!

yall the nekoma fanchant is literally stuck in my head

hehe uwu lets step on the pedal

ong jesus take the wheel pls

so basically,,,

being the nekoma manager is a MESS

lets say youre a second year and was only the manager bc you were begged into taking the job

like wouldnt leave you alone and pestered you 25/8, screaming about needing their own god manager

also just because, you are fairly popular and you have your own fanclub of girls in nekoma and they thought it would give them more exposure and more chances w girls :’)

tora was actually the first who came up to you and begged you to be their manager during class one day bc they are in need of one but they arent allowed to have a girl manager so he turned to having a handsome male

‘I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY IT HAS TO BE A BOY’

‘so you wont be all over him abd be distracted w showing off’

‘WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION MY SE-’

‘tora, please’

initially, you refused bc you just couldnt be bothered to be part of a club where you basically babysit a bunch of overgrown children

but kenma, your childhood friend, was the team’s last attempt to get you in since kuroo mentioned that he was the only one you listened to

‘kenma, babie, i love you, but i am your friend, not your nanny. so unless i am paid, i will not waste my time taking care of of all of you. especially that chicken head’

‘y/n, yaku is on his last leg here. we really need a manager and we need it fast’

‘you went for years without one so why do you need it?’

‘we’re scared that nekomata would just drop dead any minute now’

‘yanno? im surprised hes even still alive with yall’

‘....... ill show your fangirls that picture of you when we were 5 when-’

‘okay, kenma. rude about the blackmail but okay. dont expect me to be the maid or anything’

nope, you were actually the maid

and the cook

and the nanny

and the laundry person

the everything

it baffles you that kuroo is about to graduate next year yet he still doesnt know the difference between fabric softener and detergent

the amount of times you sent him to pick up more and only to send him back when he ended up buying 2 softeners or 2 detergents

‘they all look the same!’

‘kuroo tetsuro cAN yOu NoT rEAd?!’

ngl i still mix them up sometimes

during matches, youre basically their mother, their nanny, and nekomata’s notetaker, and their personal cheerleader

naoi, the other coach guy, and coach nekomata has adopted you as a son bc of how hard you work and the less the burden is on them

like your notes about their playing percentages really works and helps them and added with the chores you do for the team?

godsend

also, lets put your popularity in here

you dress with a white shirt and zip up your red nekoma jacket with your red sweatpants so you look like one of the players, right?

but how come every time they have practice, youre the only one with the fangirls in the bleachers?

youre literally wearing the same thing as them yet youre the only one who gets looked at?!

even kuroo, who was quite good looking, doesnt have that many girls pining after him yet you, resident anti-tryhard, seems to get the female population to fall for you just by doing the simplest things like breathing

youd be doing normal things like using your whistle as you hold a clipboard and girls would be screeching at you 

‘omg m/n is so hot!’

‘hes just !!!! uuggghhhh’

‘siri how to be a whistle?’

i am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the gym today

tora complains about it all the time bc first, they cant have a beautiful manager, two, they have a pretty boy who’s taking the attention away

‘SO NOT FAIR! M/N, TURN UGLY!’

you bonk him on the head in anger and threaten to quit all the time

‘say that again and you’ll be filling your own water bottles tomorrow’

but in truth though, the guys really do appreciate you and everything you do

they know that you balance them with your personal life and classes and still make time to do their laundry and make them food

so they have started easing off the burden and weight off of your shoulders

at first, you were very suspicious when they told you that they already filled their water bottles

‘huh? i didnt think you even knew where the water fountain was’

‘wym weve been doing this for years’

-kuroo

then, you heard kuroo tell the others to put their sweaty jerseys in the basket in the corner of the room and for the last person to carry it to the laundromat

‘um, sir, we dont want to have another pink jersey disaster again’

you stopped inuoka from lugging the basket but he shook his head and gave you a wide grin

‘nope, m/n-senpai! i’ll carry it for you! i’m strong, see?’

he flexed his right arm muscle while holding the basket with one hand but it was too heavy so it fell to the ground, spilling out all the practice jerseys

you sighed before bending down to pick them up and babie inuoka’s eyes watered, thinking you were mad at him

‘gomen, senpai’

he whispered but you looked up at him from your position

his watery eyes made you frantically stand up and wipe his tears with the pads of your thumbs

‘inu-kun, why are you crying? you said you were strong right? dont cry over silly things, okay?’

he nodded and you were still confused as to why he was so emotional but you patted his fluffy hair 

‘now cmon, lets go take these to the shop’

unbeknownst to you, the team was actually seething from behind the wall

naturally, as a,,, manager,, you became their,,, energy?? 

like the slightest affections from you made their health bar increase tenfold and they didnt necessarily have any intentions towards you

you were like,,, their own,,,, happy drug?? like a human seratonin??

just the fact that they had someone like you to fall back on and give them love when they lost or something

it was comforting

usually it was just the team’s responsibility to throw away their own sadness and comfort each other

but with you,,,

they could easily cry with no fear and you would comfort them until they didnt need to be comforted anymore

eventually, they ended up straight out competing against each other on who would get the most affection

clearly, inuoka used his first year card and everyone knew you were soft for your kouhais

like you would just grab them and hug them because of how cute they were

uwu especially lev?! 

he may be a giant but hes just a really REALLY REALLY BIG CAT

;)

LEV LIVES TO HUG YOU

like the mans is beanstalk level of height and despite the age difference, he just picks you up and cuddles you and youre just like ‘okay, let it out babie’

DKSFJSLD ANYWAYS

you are always a hot topic w all the students in nekoma and even some in other schools

like during training camp, bro you making everyone question their sexuality

omg akaashi and you are probably the prettiest people there and can i just say how everyone cant focus on a practice match bc youd be laughing together or something and they havent heard anything so beautiful??

and the kitties get really defensive over you and hiss at anyone who even tries to approach you

hiss hiss

DKJFSLKDFJDWHAT IF EVERYONE IN THE TEAM IS BI

OMG WHAT

like the little touches from you make them so red and confident gays like kuroo and bokuto call you out on them and tease you 

while the quiet ones like akaashi and kenma are just blushing and stutter and you tease them instead?

*inhale* BOI *exhale*

the uke and seme dynamic is real on this one

however, there are times when the turned tables

there was that one day that you were seriously questioning if bokuto wore leggings or just really high knee pads and you cornered him after baths to just figure it out

like our poor confident boi turned to a shy babie and shrunk against the wall, covering his red face

‘y-y/n-kun’

‘bo-san, i just want to know’

DKFSJLKDFJFJSDKIM DYING OVER HERE LIKE PLEASE I DONT OWN Y/N

after seeing the smidge of skin at the top of the kneepad, you nodded and brushed your fingertips over the flesh

‘hmm~ so i was right~’

FROM THEN ON POOR BABIE OWL COULDNT LOOK AT YOU THE SAME!!!!!!

it worried everyone so much when bokuto would glance at you in the sidelines and he would competely miss akaashi’s set bc his eyes would focus on you rather than the ball

like he absolutely couldnt take his eyes off of you and when you do turn to meet his eyes, he shrinks back and looks away, completely missing your amused smirk

now, your kitties werent happy about that

theyre very protective of you and they felt that this owl could snatch you right up and fly away

and kuroo, being the captain and the head of the familia, took it upon himself and dragged you to the back of the gym while the others were practicing

kurat pushed you against the wall and basically kabedonned you

KUROO IS LIKE 6′2 OR 190 CM I CANT

‘you seem close with bokuto, l/n. almost, too,, close’

an amused smirk etched itself on your lips and you pressed a hand on his chest

‘oya~? captain-san, am i being punished?’

SFDKLFSJKLDFJL SIR Y/N IS SUPPOSED TO RADIATE SEME ENERGY BUT HE ISNT AND I CANNOT-

ofc he was taken aback by your flirty attitude but he smirked and softly brushed away your bangs that slightly covered your eyes

‘hmm~~ depends, y/n-kun. are you going to be a good kitty and stay with the clowder? or are you going to stay with those pesky chickens~?’

DKFLSJDKFJSL BRO DID YOU KNOW A GROUP OF CATS IS CALLED A CLOWDER?! I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THAT BUT I HAVE A FEELING KUROO WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT BC HE BIG BRAIN

you chuckled and gently wrapped your arms around his shoulders

but your hand grabbed the hair at the back of his head and harshly pulled him to be closer to you

your eyes blinked innocently but your sharp teeth were shown from your malicious grin

‘ive always been a bad kitty, captain. so i dont care what you say because you cant tell me what to do~’

👀👀👀👀

imagine what happens next bc i cant write something unholy

anyways

so you learned that tetsu CAN in fact tell you what to do and you avoided everyone else which caused them to wonder but one look at your neck

well,,,,,

you got attacked by a cat 

a cat named tetsu

SKDFLJSDKFJSLKUROO IS THE ONLY SEME YOU CLASH WITH

THE OTHERS ARE ALL UKE

EVEN BEEFY BUFF CAKE BOI BO

but you toned it down to not be attacked again

ngl the whole team was all jealous and they even whined to kuroo about it

‘thats not fair!!!!’

‘stop abusing your role as captain!!!!’

they hated the fact that kuroo got you first so they all rally over to keep you away from him

like baby kenma would nudge you over and bring him to sit next to you, saying he needs you to help him with a certain level

‘kenny, im not sure how to play this game’

‘hmm,,,, youre a quick learner, y/n, and youre really quick with your fingers so you could pass to the next level’

*insert lenny face*

‘oya? and you would know how, kenny?’

and baby kenny would fluster a little before glomping to your side and burying his face into your shoulder to hide away

OR

the first years would absolutely use their kouhai priviledges and bring you over to help them with ‘homework’

‘you guys realize i passed because kuroo would beat me into studying right?’

‘but senpai! you mustve learned a thing or two in your classes!’

‘bold of you to assume i was even awake in my classes’

but they still make you spend hours trying to help them which turn into just messing around 

KSDLFJSDKFJD MOVIE NIGHTS YOU GUYS THATS IT!!

there isnt really a single calm moment in your guys’ practice

poor you have already started seeing lot of gray hairs

you literally decline every single confession just because youre too busy for a date and you cant handle having to take care of another person

its like youre dating the whole team!!

soon the entire school have just accepted the fact that you are just simply not in the market anymore just because you joined the club

not because youre actually taken by a girlfriend but youre taken by a bunch of teenage males

imagine how that works out

anyways

youre not really the best volleyball player out there but you know a thing or two

well,,, its more like your stamina doesnt allow you to play long bc a single lap literally destroys your lungs

but you still know when yaku complains about having a shaky receive

‘oh, momo-senpai, youre bending your knees too low so gravity is pushing down on your-’

ugh chemistry i hate it

despite your lack of athletic or physical skills, they still appreciate you for your keen eyes, your caring nature, and your overall looks that give them motivation to play harder to impress you personality :)

all the boys love you

and tbh

you love your boys too

even though it was a blackmail caused event,

you still would’ve joined otherwise

this is kinda short but its going to be longer if i find some plots or somebody asks for a plotline that i can write about for a long time

anyways

byeeeee :)))))

a/n: this isnt exactly the best manager one ive written but ill probably find a good prompt for this or again as stated ^^ someone sends in an ask for it and ill write a story for our favorite male manager :’D

[yanderemommabean]

Imagine seeing a 🦊 in your backyard and being like “😮Cute 🦊?!” And you try, despite advise telling you otherwise, to befriend it. Cause who doesn’t want a 🦊 friend? So you leave lil homemade treats for it everytime you see it. (It seems to prefer human and cooked foods?) and eventually you find it in your house and you’re like “❤️!” And let the fox sleep in your room and wake up with Lee in your bed. Like, you got the pet/owner relationship you wanted but not quite in the way you thought.-🦝

There’s a list of things you expected when you allowed your new friend to sleep in your bed. Maybe they chewed up the blankets, made a mess in the floor because they’re nervous, and even a shredded pillow was expected.

You would’ve preferred all of the above when your bleary eyes focused in on a much larger form than a fox, who was happily looming over you. The man was blond, his face covered in freckles with warm hazel eyes that continued examining your features.

Great. You were definitely about to die. Couldn’t he do you the courtesy of doing it while you were asleep? That’s at least the best way to go!

“What the-“ you managed to croak out, still sleepy and trying to wake up from your haze. You press up on your hands, trying to sit up and shove the man off of you, becoming more aware of the dangerous situation as sleep left your brain.

Fuck. FUCK. A stranger was in your house! IN YOUR BED!

“No! No please don’t kill me!” You begin to plead, scrambling out of bed and searching the room for anything to defend yourself with as your “attacker” just silently watched, seemingly amused. His grin was cocky, and his naked form only seemed laxed and confident as he watched your confusion escalate.

“My my, if You’re this entertaining by just waking up, I’d say I’ve found myself a lucky one”.

You press yourself against the wall, eyes wide as you struggle to ask the man what he meant- what he thought he was doing in your home. Your bed. He simpers and makes no gesture to cover his nether regions, simply pressing his fingers to his chin as he looked you up and down.

“It seems I’ve frightened you. Apologies, most humans hardly see me out of my cuddly little persona. It’s a pleasure to be on speaking terms with you now”. He gave another cocky expression, eyebrows raised in a waiting manner as he extended his hand for you to shake.

“What the hell are you talking about? G-get out of my house!” You pathetically shout, voice wavering as you tried to piece together whatever in the world was going on. What ‘persona’? Why did he say it like he wasn’t human himself? Was he on drugs?!

Ok- deep breaths! Panicking is natural but it never helps in any situation. He clearly hasn’t hurt you yet, and if he planned too, he was taking his time. You don’t need to put yourself in any corners. You straighten up and try to make some distance between him and you, clearing your throat as you try and think of what to say.

“Ah. You’re still lost. It’s quite adorable honestly” the man mused, refusing to acknowledge the fact you told him to leave. “My name is Lee-“ he gestured towards his body “I’m-for lack of a better term, a werefox. A shapeshifter, cursed, whichever you seem fit to label”.

Your mouth goes dry, and your cheeks heat up seeing that -yeah he’s still naked. “I-I’m sorry but that’s an absolute asinine claim. Please just- just leave my house before I call the police”. You advert your eyes as his gaze darkens, and his much larger form presses closer to you.

“Oh? Asinine is it? Tell me, what makes you think such creatures don’t exist?” He questioned while furrowing his brows. With a scoff you raise your eyebrows in defense, and throw up your hands slightly. “Gee let me think- the fact that DNA probably wouldn’t allow that, not to mention much more science behind it. Listen I don’t have to explain anything! This isn’t a joke I’m calling the police!”.

You push him aside to grab your phone, but before you can so much as press the home button, you hear a low growl, and are met with the fuzzy face of a fox. A pause fills the room, your eyes locked on the creature as it pads over to you and nuzzles your arm, wanting affection. However cute the thing was, you felt a sinking in your stomach. You notice the man was no longer standing around, and it didn’t take a genius to do the math.

Oh fuck. OH FUCK THIS IS REAL. There’s a god damn shapeshifter in your house and apparently you’re now in absolutely skepticism of everything you’ve ever been taught. “Hoh my God-“ you breathed out, dropping the phone back down and stepping away with hands covering your mouth. You watched on as Lee transformed back, his naked body pressed against the crumpled sheets and blankets of your bed. He gives a wink, and all you can do is slide down the wall and stare in disbelief and awe.

“Oh I do hope you have more original questions than the others. Although, if not, I don’t mind answering. It’s a long story but needless to say, demons are real and if you fuck one over, they hold a grudge for life”. He beamed a cheeky smile, as if this was all some joke. Seriously? Can you have one day where you don’t question the very state of your being and existence?

Suddenly more pressing matters dawn on you. Like how you baby talked him and fed him by hand. And how you kissed his face and called him a good boy. Oh Jesus Christ this is embarrassing!

“I...you let me...baby talk you and...oh god” you mewled, burying your face in your knees as embarrassed redness covered your cheeks.

Goodness you looked so cute like this. You looked cute all of the time really, but seeing you flustered always made him want to see more. He’s glad he gets to own you now, seeing as you’ve clearly taken an interest in him! Why else would you take care of him?

“Oh yes. I do enjoy your nicknames for me! And I must say, since my curse has been given, you’re the first human I’ve wanted to own without ill intent. The others were messy but fun while they lasted”.

He admires the shock in your eyes as you soak in more horrifying information. You always have the most enrapturing expressions! He could get lost in your eyes for days by themselves! Such a pleasant distraction!

He rests his head in his hand and stares at you with adoring eyes, kicking his legs a bit while silence once again took over the room. “What’s the matter? Fox got your tongue?” He teased, swiping his pink tongue over his canines with a seductive wink.

“You...killed others? Oh god I’m next?!” You squeaked “and you said you own me? How the hell did you come to that conclusion?!”.

“Simple. You’re kind, you’re warm, you have patience and tenacity, you have the cutest interests in the oddest of things, you fed me, and you captured my heart. Once you allow me in your home I’m fully able to show myself, and once that’s done? Well, I can do whatever I please with you.”

“So you’re gonna kill me?” You asked as your blood ran cold, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to reach for your phone once again. Why bother if he’s quite literally as quick as a fox.

“What? No! No never! My other toys where ugly on the inside and made me want to rid the world of their existence. You? Well I can’t let this world harm such a beautiful creature. You’re clearly in need of me, and I’m more than happy to spray the woods with blood if it means I get to keep you with me”.

He sits up, and slides off the bed to meet you on the floor, his fingers shaking slightly as they touch your wrists, feeling you flinch and recoil. Now that won’t do! But he supposed you were patient with him, so he can return the favor when it comes to touches.

“You don’t own me” you whisper half heartedly. You knew by the power the man held alone that you had no say in that matter, but whats life without a bit of spite? You weren’t going to just swoon and submit!

“I think we both know that’s not true. You let me in, and I get to stay. And as a plus I get to make you see just how badly you need me. You’ll learn that this is a good thing, I promise! Now why don’t you come up off the floor? The bed is much more comfortable”.

-Mommabean (was this alright?)

[mistletouchunderthetree]

29. “I’m not going anywhere.” (reddie 😎💖)

this accidentally got kind of angsty? it has a happy ending but it’s all over the place idk what happened here

also i used the prompt TWICE so idk extra credit or something

“I can’t sit still for more than a few hours or everything will get stiff and it makes the stitches hurt twice as much. Also I can’t fly, even on a shorter flight. Basically I’m stuck in Maine for the foreseeable future.”

“That’s rough,” Ben said with a sympathetic frown.

“Why don’t you find a nice airbnb in Bangor? That’s only, what, a half hour drive? And you’d be closer to better hospitals,” Beverly suggested.

“And you’ll be the fuck out of Derry!” Richie added with a fake grin. 

“If that’s not what you want, I can wait to leave -”

“Fuck no, you can’t,” Eddie said, interrupting Mike’s offer. “You should be the first one out of this fucking town. I’ll find an airbnb in Bangor and catch an Uber once I’m released.”

Bill frowned. “W-what about your wi-wi-wife? Couldn’t she take care of getting the house and picking you up?”

Eddie scoffed, staring down at the hospital blanket covering his lap. “We had a fight, so... I’m on my own for now. Honestly, I don’t know if I even want to go back to New York at all.”

“I have no idea why I live in Chicago,” Richie admitted with a small shrug.

“I have a giant and beautiful house and I’ve hated it for years because it’s empty,” Ben said softly. Beverly grabbed his hand.

“It’s like I was just coasting,” Eddie said, looking down at his lap. “I never felt in control of anything. Which, like, obviously my mother has a lot to do with it, but I also just... Let things happen to me. Myra wanted to date so I dated her. She wanted to get married so I married her. She wanted kids so I - I paid for the most expensive fertility doctors out there and they all told her the same thing, our only option was a surrogate but no, she refused to believe that, thinks somehow it would be less her baby if somebody else had it. And of course it was all my fault. Which is fucking stupid, because if I literally never make any choices how can anything be my fault? I’m not doing anything!”

“Hey, bud,” Ben said softly, putting a hand on Eddie’s shoulder and slowly guiding him back to a lying position. “You’re gonna fuck up your stitches, dude.”

Eddie huffed but accepted it, crossing his arms over his chest.

“It’s just fucking stupid. And now that I remember everything about my mom... Like, fuck it, I knew she looked like her. I’m not fucking stupid. But Ma had just died and I... I didn’t remember I wasn’t sick. Suddenly I was alone in the world and I was sick so I needed help and - and Myra was just like her, you know? It didn’t have to be any specific illness or injury. Just delicate. A weak system. Stay away from fucking everything, Eddie. Wear your coat or you’ll die of pneumonia, Eddie. Don’t play with your friends or you’ll break a bone and then bone fragments will travel up into your brain and kill you, Eddie. Don’t get near an x-ray machine, it’ll give you cancer and you’ll die, Eddie.”

Eddie sniffed, wiping his nose angrily. Everyone sat close around his hospital bed. Bev’s eyes were wet when she grabbed Eddie’s hand and squeezed.

“But she’s not like her, at the same time,” Eddie continued. “She doesn’t... She’s not doing it on purpose. That’s the difference. Ma was... Ma was the sick one. But even past that, that thing that made her keep me weak and delicate and sick for whatever fucking reason she had... Even more that that she wanted to control everything. I mean, you guys know, she yelled at every one of you, some of you on multiple occasions,” he paused, looking distinctively at Richie who opened his mouth to make an I fucked your mom joke and stopped when Eddie glared at him. “She would do everything she could to keep me from you guys. She’d cry and scream and say I didn’t love her and that I was killing her. I always felt so guilty for like... Existing outside of her presence. Aside from that summer, I never really learned how to be my own person.

“I just want to make my own decisions and not be questioned about it. I want to figure out who I am when I’m not trying to please somebody else.”

“Fuck yeah, Eds,” Richie said, holding up a hand for a high-five.

“Don’t call me Eds.” He smiled, slapping Richie’s hand. 

“Are you okay with being alone in Bangor for so long, though?” Beverly asked, corners of her mouth twitching downward. “Not that you’re not capable, but you have some extensive injuries and it makes me nervous to think of you trying to take care of them yourself.”

“Th-th-there are home nursing ser-ser-services you could hire,” Bill suggested.

“I could stay with you,” Richie said quietly, almost hoping his voice wouldn’t be heard. Eddie turned to him with wide eyes. He looked at those, and not Bev’s, who were sympathetic. He could hear her voice in his head saying Honey, don’t do this to yourself.

Fuck it. He’d always been a glutton for punishment.

“Seriously?” Eddie checked, hint of a grin forming on his face.

“Yeah, dude, a little bro vacation!”

Eddie grimaced. “Don’t call it that.”

“You’re real fuckin’ picky about names, Eds.”

“Don’t call me Eds.” Eddie sighed. “But really, you don’t have to do this. Or you can fuck off after like, a week. Don’t feel obligated and don’t put your life on hold for me.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Richie promised, then cleared his throat when he realized it sounded too sincere. “Where would I go? Chicago? I don’t give a fuck about Chicago. We’re both starting over, I guess.”

“Might as well do it together,” Ben said, then smiled. “Kind of like me and Bev.”

“Well I never wrote Eddie a poem and kept his signature for 27 years, so...”

Eddie frowned and despite his red cheeks said, “Why do you get to be Ben?”

Richie looked at him. “Honestly? I shouldn’t be either of them. I can’t even decide which one is hotter. Ah, the perils of bisexuality.”

The room was quiet.

“Did you just come out by calling our friends hot?” Eddie asked, a hint of shock and awe in his voice.

Richie shrugged. “Guess so, Eduardo.”

“Jesus Christ, Richie, stop objectifying people. And also, no offense to Bev, but it’s clearly Ben.”

Richie’s jaw dropped. Eddie’s cheeks were bright red but his eyes were defiant. 

“Did you just come out by calling Ben hot?”

“You’re absolutely wrong, Ben,” Mike said. “They’re not like you and Bev. There’s... There’s nothing that compares to whatever the fuck this is.”

Eddie hid his face in his hands and Richie laughed with his friends, breathless.

“I’m tired now, everybody go home,” Eddie grumbled from behind his hands. He accepted hugs from everyone but when Richie leaned down for a hug he held him tighter, a little longer. “Not you. You stay.”

“Course,” he said, sitting in a vacant chair next to the bed. “I’m not going anywhere.”

[crazy-little-cool-cat]

Hand in Glove - Chapter 29 | Ben Hardy x OFC

A/N: I have a problem, alright? In the words of the greatest poet to ever live, Mr. Kanye West - “I’m tired. You’re Tired. Jesus wept.” Also not sure if there are any typos left or not so if there are just pretend they don’t exist ok byeeeeee.

Warnings: Smut ahead. Kind of. 

Word Count: ~3K

Chapter 1, Chapter 2,  Chapter 3,  Chapter 4,  Chapter 5,  Chapter 6,  Chapter 7,  Chapter 8,  Chapter 9,  Chapter 10,  Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14 , Chapter 15 , Chapter 16 , Chapter 17 , Chapter 18 , Chapter 19 , Chapter 20 , Chapter 21 , Chapter 22 , Chapter 23 , Chapter 24, Chapter 25 , Chapter 26, Chapter 27 , Chapter 28

“Do we write our own vows?” Ben asked and handed Rory her plastic spoon. “Like, is that a thing we can do?”

“I think so, yeah.” Annie covered her mouth, speaking while she chewed. She swallowed and made funny faces at Rory. “Can you believe she’s 10 months old?”

“Can you believe we’re getting married next week?” Ben countered.

“No,” Annie confessed. “Not really.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

“Yeah?” Annie leaned forward, intrigued.

“I know you said you don’t want a big wedding -”

“Not this again.”

“- but what if we do something small scale? After we get legally married. Just a big party for friends and family.”

“Ben…”

“Look, I humoured you long enough. I’ve basically let you walk all over me. I need something, Annie.” Ben dropped his fork with a clatter. “You’re not alone in this relationship.”

“Why are you so obsessed with this?” Annie dropped her fork too. “Why is it so important for you?”

“Because it just is.” Ben glared at her. “This isn’t Shitstorm Annie’s exclusive one-woman show, you know.”

“Call me a shitstorm again. Go on.”

“Shitstorm.”

“You know what?” Annie pushed her chair back. “I’m done.”

“The hell you are. Sit down.” Ben said calmly.

“Excuse me?” Annie scoffed.

“We’re having dinner with our daughter. Sit. Down.” Ben bounced his knee impatiently. “Grow up, will you?”

“How dare you -”

“If you mention me being away in the States again, Annabelle, so help me God, there will be no wedding. At all. Secret or not.” Ben’s jaw jutted forward slightly as he clenched it. “I’m so bloody sick of you holding it against me.”

Annie sat back down, doe-eyed. She couldn’t remember the last time she had seen Ben so riled up.

“Now, listen very carefully, because I’m only going to say this once.” Ben wiped Rory’s chin with her bib. “You got what you wanted. On your terms. Now, it’s my turn.”

“Do you honestly think it’s fair to invite your family to our wedding, when mine won’t be there?” Annie quipped.

“They could be if you invited them.” Ben shrugged. “It’s totally up to you.”

“You are my family, you bellend.” Annie closed her fists. “It’s like talking to a bloody rock.”

“You’re such a control freak, Annabelle.” Ben groaned. “Let it go. For once in your life.”

###

Annie looked in the mirror as she tried on an ivory colored dress. She scrutinized her reflection, nit-picking every little flaw and imperfection she could possibly find.

“Annie you’ve been glaring at yourself for fifteen minutes now.” Jamie held his head in his hands. “Please. You look beautiful. I want to leave.”

“No. This isn’t right. The hem is too long.”

“The hem is perfect.” Jamie sighed. “The neckline is perfect. The waist is perfect. Everything is bloody perfect! You look like a bloody angel.” Jamie stood up and walked over to where Annie stood. “You’re a spawn of the devil, but you look like an angel.”

“Do you think he’ll like it?” Annie looked up at her friend, wide-eyed and childlike.

“I know he will. How could he not?”

Annie fidgeted with the hem of her dress. It went up to just over her knees. She shifted her weight from one leg to the other, nodding to herself.

“Alright. Let’s get out of here, then.”

“Thank God!”

###

Ben spent most of his days home alone, working on writing his vows. He bit his nails as he stared at the piece of paper in front of him. His brain seemed to have forgotten how to use words properly, and went completely blank. With the wedding ceremony fast approaching, Ben could feel his entire body tense up from the stress.

They’ve planned the entire day out. Rory will be in daycare. Brian and Roger will meet Ben at the chapel he and Annie picked and triple-checked that is authorised by the Register Office. Jamie will drive Annie from set and bring her there. Once the ceremony is over and done with, they’ll pick Rory up and go have dinner at a restaurant, all three of them.

They even made reservations.

Roger gifted them two of his cymbal rings as a wedding present. Brian said his present will be a surprise. Jamie has done above and beyond to help Annabelle make this wedding happen on her terms, she couldn’t even imagine him giving anything more. In her words, ‘he risked his own bloody marriage for us, that’s more than enough.’

Ben picked up the pen and started drumming a beat on the edge of the table. When nothing came to him even still, he did the only thing he could think of. He started drinking.

###

“Ben?” Annie called from the front door, holding Rory in her arms. “Are you home?”

“Yeah!” Ben’s deep voice carried from the kitchen. “Juss’ doin’ stuff.”

Annie followed his voice and found him sitting in his underwear, in the midst of empty beer bottles, a half finished bottle of whiskey and a sea of balled up papers around him. His hair stuck out in every possible direction.

“What the hell?” she managed to force out through a smile and put Rory down on the floor.

“Well, I -” Ben burped, “oof, sorry. I’m writing the vows!”

“You’re sloshed.”

“I needed to relax, alright?” Ben took another sip of his whiskey. “Get the juices flowing.”

“Ben, where are your pants?”

“I got overheated.”

“What happened to your shirt?”

“I think I’m allergic to it.” Ben shrugged. “Shoo, Annie! You’re interrupting!”

He didn’t even notice the bag she was carrying, he was so keen on finishing the task at hand. With the tip of his tongue poking out through the corner of his mouth, Ben furiously scribbled across the page.

###

“That settles it.” Clara wiped her fingers on her napkin, finishing her lunch. “Your boyfriend is allergic to all clothes.”

“Ha, ha.” Annie rolled her eyes playfully. “He looked like a child doing his homework.”

“Aw, cute!” Mike chimed in. “What was he writing?”

“Oh.” Annie froze, trying to come up with an explanation for Ben’s drunken, naked writing session the previous night. “I think he’s writing a story.”

“A story?” Clara raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah. Kept telling me to shoo and that I’m interrupting.” Annie hoped her voice didn’t give anything away. “Probably a Clannie story.”

Clara snorted and doubled over laughing.

###

“Ben!” Annie shouted as she entered the house. “I’m here!”

He texted her in the middle of the day that she needs to come home because he is having a serious condition that needs tending to. Ben hardly ever got sick, and when he did - he turned into the biggest, neediest baby. Annie made use of her acting skills and convinced the production team that she’s incredibly ill and could use the rest of the day off to rest.

“Come here!” Ben called from the bedroom. Annie climbed up the stairs in a rush to find Ben standing at the foot of the bed. He looked relieved to see her. “Come here for a second.”

“What’s going on?” Annie looked him up and down, trying to see what was amiss. He seemed fine. Clothes on. Great spirits. “Ben, did you call me home because you got lonely?”

“Lonely?” Ben scoffed. “This goes beyond loneliness.”

“What?”

“Just…” Ben grunted uncomfortably.

“Ben what the hell are you doing?”

“This is serious, okay?” he started to undo his belt and popped the button on his jeans open, pulling the fly down.

“For the love of God -”

“Look at this. Look at it!” Ben stood, his jeans pooled around his ankles, arms outstretched to the sides. He pointed with both hands at his crotch. “Look at how hard I am.”

“I’ll pick up a medal on the way home.” Annie rolled her eyes and turned around.

“Oh, you’re not going anywhere.” Ben stated. “This?” he palmed his boxers. “This is just because I was thinking of you. Not even in a sexual way. You popped into my head and there it is!”

“Ben, you had me seriously worried that something might be wrong and -” Annie gasped. “Will you stop playing with yourself?!”

“Only if you’ll play with me instead.” Ben stepped out of his jeans and approached her. “Do you have any idea how much I need you right now?”

“Ben, I lied to everyone to get home as fast as I could and I come home to this?” Annie stepped back. “What is the matter with you?”

“I love you. I want you.” Ben started counting off answers. “I’m throbbing just thinking about you, going about your day.” He swooped forward and grabbed her, pushing his hips forward. “Feel it.”

“Have you gone completely mad?” Annie laughed as he pushed his cock against her tummy. “Ben!”

“We’re getting married. This time, tomorrow.” Ben wrapped his fingers around the column of Annie’s neck, giving it a gentle squeeze. “And I am so turned on by the mere thought of having you for myself. Forever.”

“You’re a lunatic.”

“You’re wearing too many clothes.” Ben observed.

“Are you high?”

“No.”

“Drunk?”

“Nope.”

“Just utterly insane, then?”

“Yes.”

###

“Nervous?” Brian wiggled his eyebrows at Ben.

“Not really. Just… anxious to see her.” Ben bit his bottom lip and shifted his weight from foot to foot.

The door to the chapel opened and Jamie walked in, holding it open for Annie. As if she was an actual dream, she appeared in the doorway, the light from outside casting a soft halo around her. A flower-crown weaved in her long hair, she looked like a porcelain doll in her Ivory dress. Ben’s breath caught in his chest at the sight of her.

Jamie offered his arm, and Annie held onto it, allowing him to lead her to the altar where Ben was standing with the registrar. She felt wobbly on her feet, and she wasn’t sure if the situation made her so unsteady or whether it was Roger and Brian’s presence there.

“Wait, wait!” Brian said and turned around to grab his Red Special. “Carry on now.”

To the sound of Brian’s guitar playing the Wedding March, Annie walked down the aisle towards her future husband. They both smiled so bright, it was almost blinding. As soon as she reached Ben, she grabbed his hand and held onto it for dear life. The registrar spoke, but neither Annie nor Ben listened. They just looked at each other in pure adoration.

“Hey, space cadets!” Roger snapped them out of their stupur. “Vows?”

“Oh, yeah.” Ben chuckled sheepishly and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “Annie. You ran into my life screaming Silly Gwilly and turned my whole world upside down. At a wedding, oddly enough. Never in my wildest dreams did I even think I’d be standing here right now, at this very moment. All it took was one kiss and I knew that you will be mine, no matter what. God knows you didn’t go down without a fight, kicking and screaming.”

 Annie chuckled. 

“It’s what I love about you most. You’re red-blooded. Fierce. You go after what you want, no matter the consequences. And yet, you listen. You learn. You help me learn, as well.” 

Ben smiled as he looked down at the paper and folded it back. 

“Today, I vow to love you and protect you, fiercely and forever, with every fiber of my being. Even when you’re irritating me beyond belief. No matter how far away I am, I will always love you and come home to you.”

“Well, then.” Annie let out a shaky chuckle as Ben stuffed the paper back in his slacks pocket. 

Her hands shook as she reached for her piece of paper. 

“I’m going to start this off by saying this: Ben Jones, you are the most infuriating man I have ever met. I love you for it. You let me be myself, but you put me in my place when I get out of hand. You’re my voice of reason and sensibility. My shelter.” 

Ben bit his bottom lip and smiled like a fool. 

“You took every notion I had of relationships and companionship and tossed it out the bloody window, reframing my entire mind. Because of you, I let myself leave my comfort zone and I ended up doing things I never thought I’d do. Childbirth was a big one of them. You gave me Rory and Franks, and you showed me what love is supposed to do.” 

Annie gulped and took a deep breath.

“You’ve stayed with me through thick and thin, even when I did my best to push you away. You are my soldier. My angel. My worst nightmare, at times. I will kill and die for you. I’ll be there for you through rain and sunshine and the end of the bloody world, for that matter. I love you, fiercely and forever.”

Ben and Annie exchanged rings and went through the motions of the ceremony, signing the wedding register obediently.

Thus, they were pronounced husband and wife.

###

Ben entered the dimly-lit bedroom quietly, smiling at Annie. She the covers pulled up to her chin, a playful glint in her eyes. Rory was sound asleep, and they were married.

“What’re you hiding over there?” Ben asked as he approached the bed. “You’re up to something. You’ve got the look.”

“See for yourself.” Annie shrugged.

Ben lifted the covers and took a long look at Annie’s naked body, her skin pale against the dark sheets. His eyes scanned her slowly, from her toes all the way up to the top of her head.

“Come and perform your husbandly duty?” Annie teased him. “Let’s consummate this bitch.”

They both cracked up laughing as Ben took off his boxers and rolled into bed next to Annie.

“Is it strange that it feels like the very first time again?” Annie whispered.

“Not at all,” Ben cleared his throat, and leaned in, his lips just brushing Annie’s. “I’m even more nervous now, actually.”

“Yeah?” Annie smiled and felt her body melt into Ben’s touch as he nodded and run his fingers through her hair. “Maybe it’s -”

Ben cut Annie off with a lingering kiss to her lips. Pulling apart, a blush rose on their cheeks as their heartbeats picked up. They’ve done this over a million times now, but never as husband and wife.

Annie caressed Ben’s jaw, looking up at him in awe. He smiled and kissed her lips again, pressing soft, lingering kisses to her lips. They weren’t usually this tender with each other, but this time was different. They couldn’t explain how so, they just felt that it was. They had forever, now. No need to rush.

Ben rolled himself on top of Annie, leaning his weight on his forearms. Their kiss deepend, changing from soft and sweet to feverish and needy. As Annie spread her legs wider, Ben slipped inside of her, pressing his forehead to the pillow, right next to Annie’s head. A whole flock of butterflies unleashed themselves as he moaned in her ear, bottoming out.

They stayed still, physically connected. Annie ran her hands up and down Ben’s back, her hips rolling slightly. Giving Ben a physical hint - she needs movement. Friction. Ben pulled himself almost all the way out and slammed himself back in. Annie’s soft moans were music to his ears.

###

“Good morning, Mrs. Jones.” Ben’s raspy voice woke her up the next morning.

“Time’s it?” Annie mumbled into the pillow.

“The sun is just coming up. Was about to go have a piss but then I saw you.” Ben snuggled closer to her. “Bodily functions can wait.”

“Mmm.” Annie moaned softly, still sleepy.

“Fiercely and forever.” Ben whispered as she drifted back off.

“Fiercely and forever.”

###

“Mum. Dada.”

Ben and Annie froze in their tracks as they went about making breakfast and getting Rory ready for the day.

“Did she just -” Ben pointed at his daughter.

“Dada. Mum!”

Annie looked at Ben, frowning.

“Mum mum! Dada!” Rory cooed and chattered, clapping to herself.

“Yes, baby?” Ben spoke. Rory turned her head and flashed him a somewhat toothy smile.

“Dada!”

“Oh my God!” Annie gasped. “Did she just say her first words?”

“I think she did!”

“Oh, my clever Aurora!” Annie picked her up from her highchair and cuddled her. “Such a smart girl!”

###

“You still want your little ‘party’?” Annie asked Ben about two weeks later. “For the family and friends.” She clarified when Ben looked at her as if she spoke in tongues.

“Yeah. Yes.” Ben nodded.

“If we do that…” Annie started.

“We’ll do it right. Plan ahead, at least six months. Make it perfect.” Ben smiled. “Are you sure?”

“You deserve it.” Annie shrugged.

“You will be the death of me, Annabelle Lee-Jones.” Ben sighed and walked over to Annie, squeezing her in a hug.

Annie’s stomach flipped and turned, making her sick. Third day in a row.

“Again?” Ben called after her as she bolted for the loo. “Maybe you should see a doctor?”

###

“Come again?” Annie looked at Dr. McCarthy, her mouth open in shock. She thought she misheard. She was sure there has to be some mistake. “I’m what, now?”

“Pregnant. With child.” Dr. McCarthy kept her face and voice even. “You have a bun in the oven, love.”

“That’s impossible.”

“Facts are facts, dear.” Dr. McCarthy pursed her lips. “The IUD is effective, but not 100%. 99.2%, actually. Seems like you’re the goddess of fertility and your partner has some almighty sperm because nothing can stop you two from making babies, it seems.”

“Are you serious?” Annie’s hands started shaking. “This can actually happen?”

“Rarely, but yes.”

“Huh.” Annie huffed with a frown. “That explains a lot, actually.”

“Yeah.”

“So, do we just keep it in there? Let the spawn play with it while it grows?” Annie grimaced.

“Well, no.” Dr. McCarthy said, slipping on her latex gloves. “The thing’s coming out. Now.”

“Oh boy.”

########

TAGLIST:  @ramibaby​ @xgoingdownx​ @qweenly​ @violetpond​ @sweeterthancheese @drummerqueenrmt @westansstuff @justgivemethekeys  @blondecarfucker @cheeseedreams47 @deacy-dearest​ @pinkmarvel @onceuponadetectivedemigod

[sheerioasteroidpanda]

Couple’s Holiday, Getting Dicked Good and Monster Girls

Uhh so as usually, when I’m most stressed I write and lately I’ve been reallyyyyyyyyy feeling some Ed Sheeran story so I wrote this. It’s just short and silly and yeah. Just blah. I know I haven’t written anything for tumblr in a while and my AO3 is kind of dead but its cause I let a snide comment get to me plus I’ve been super busy with finishing up college so. Anyways enough rambling. Here’s my first Ed fan fic in a long time. And yes, I used my name cause I’m lazy and selfish and needy for Ed. 

"Babe?"

"YEAH?" amanda shouted from her position on the couch, which was currently upside down, legs on the head rest and head on the foot rest.

"Why are you yelling?" Ed asked not looking up from his phone as he entered the condo he had rented for the holidays. 

"Oh sorry, thought you were farther away. All the blood is rushing in my ears and it's kinda hard to hear."

"What the hell are you doing?" Ed asked finally looking up to see his girlfriend sitting the complete wrong way with her head nearly touching the floor.

"I dunno, what are youuu doing?" Amanda grinned back. They had been staying at a luxury condo in Colorado Springs for the past 2 weeks and she was getting antsy. While it was supposed to be a holiday vacation, Ed had gotten together with a few music buddies and of course, being Ed, had worked the whole 2 weeks. She didn't mind, she loved seeing him happy and working but still… antsy.

"Wanna go to a party tonight?" Ed checked his phone again as it dinged.

"Hmmmmm what kinda party? We takin party hard party? Rave party? Club party? Pub/dive bar party? You gotta fill a girl in here, ginger boy" amanda rolled over so she was sprawled on the long couch laying on her stomach, her feet kicking in the air.

"Oh I'll fill a girl alright!" Ed wiggled his eyebrows and quickly pocketed his phone so his hands were free to grab Amanda's sides and tickle her. "Fill her right up with my ginger cock is what i’ll do!"

"Edward!" Amanda squealed and wiggled trying to get away. Or maybe get closer, it could be hard to tell sometimes. "You're so lewd!" 

"Aye but you love it" ed said as he nuzzled his nose against her cheek, his body now laying fully on top of hers.

"Nah, i love you" amanda said while pushing her hips up to rub against his groin.

Ed nearly growled at the friction. "Babe before we start, do you want to go out tonight? It'll be club and my friends will be there" ed explained as he trailed kisses behind her ear and down her neck.

"Oh" amanda said softly trying to focus. "Which friends?"

"Hmm?" Ed mumbled while he rested back on his hunches and started to push up Amanda's top.

"Ed which friends are going to be there tonight?" Amanda asked a little more firmly.

"Uh, I don't know, probably Dillion and JB and Dia and…" ed listed off a few others.

Amanda felt her heart sploot a little, these were definitely not her types of people. "Uh, why don't you just go. I know you'll have a lot more fun without me to be your ball and chain" saying a little more cheerfully than necessary.

"You don't want to go? Is it cause of Justin? You know he's grown up now. Just like I did." Ed says seriously, all future sexy times are thrown out the window.

Sighing amanda scooted out from under ed so she could sit properly. "I know ed but i just don't enjoy his company not to mention a few others you mentioned would be there. You know that's not my scene anyways. Id just be awkward and distract you from having a good time. Go have fun with your friends. Seeing them is just as important as seeing me or seeing family."

"Dear god I love you" ed said, cupping Amanda's cheek and giving her a sweet and light kiss. "What about you, love? What will you do if i go out?"

Amanda laughed loudly "darlin i have a bottle of wine in the fridge, internet connection and my kindle app. I promise ill be fine for a few hours." It was amanda's turn to give ed a peck on the lips. "Go. Have fun. I'll be here enjoying me time."

"God i fucking love you!" Ed said excitedly as he jumped up after kissing her again and grabbing his jacket and ran towards the door.

"Wait!" Amanda shouted just as he was about to close the door. Ed poked his head back in with a question. 

"Phone?" A nod. 

"Wallet?" Another nod. 

"Keys?" Amanda asked with a raised eyebrow as she looked from him to the coffee table in front of her with his keys sitting on it.

"Have I mentioned you are the most wonderful woman ever to exist?" Ed said as he sheepishly came back inside and grabbed his keys.

"Hmm ill be sure to let your mom know you said as such" amanda grinned wickedly.

Ed gasped "you wouldn't"

"I will if you don't leave right now. You're gonna miss all the fun." 

Ed rushed out the door with a final, ‘love you!’ and left Amanda on her own once again. Sighing to herself, she allowed herself to pout at being left alone once again but only for a moment. She truly meant what she said about wanting him to see his friends. And it wasn’t that she didn’t not  like some of his friends, she just knew she wouldn’t enjoy herself. If she wasn’t enjoying herself, she didn’t want to distract Ed with her problems. 

But honestly, did he have to leave her all hot and bothered? Just rude. Thinking about ways to fix her problem she slammed her fist in her other hand. “I’ll need my laptop and that bottle for sure” Amanda giggled. If Ed is going to have a good night, so was she. 

----

“Dude? And she just let you go?” Justin looked at Ed in disbelieve. “Sounds fake but okay” he muttered as he sipped his drink. 

“Well I think it’s nice” Dillion said. “You two are so good for each other, she has totally got your back.” 

Dia snorted, “That or she’s fucking someone else.” 

“What the fuck?” Ed slurred a little. “She wouldn’t do that to me. If she wanted me to stay in, she would have told me. Besides, she loves my dick. Why would she look for another” Ed said smugly. 

Dia eyed Ed up and down while sassing her head. “Who said she’s looking for some dick?”

“She is pan” Justin chimed in unhelpfully. 

“Let Ed be. Y’all should learn to trust your partners. That’s why y’all can’t stay in a relationship while our boy Ed here is in a 3 year relationship with a lovely girl.” Dillion praised with red cheeks. 

“I don’t know about that. You have seemed to be avoiding her lately” Justin muttered, glancing at Ed before looking away just as quick. 

“No I’m not!” Ed said a little louder than he had meant to. He was more drunk than he thought. 

“Ed, you two have been here for nearly 2 weeks on a ‘couples holiday’ and all you’ve done is work. Amanda hasn’t even been coming with you cause me and her don’t mix well” Justin pointed out. “If I gave up seeing my family and friends for the holidays to go on take a trip with my boyfriend to a luxury condo resort only to be left almost daily cause said boyfriend is working, I’d be a little irritated myself.”

Ed sat with a large pout while he picked at the label on his beer. “I always ask before I leave and she has asked for me to stay a few times and we’ve gone out and skied and went ‘round her old hometown. Even went to that coffee shop she remembered as a little girl.” 

Even Dillion started to look doubtful. “I don’t know Ed. I don’t think Amanda should have to ask  you to stay when you’re on a couples holiday.” 

“I know my girl,” Ed stated again louder than he meant to, setting his beer bottle down a little too hard on the table. “If she had a problem with me going out, she would have said so. She isn’t seeing anybody else and she isn’t sleeping with anyone either.”

Dia raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Sure Teddy, but I know females and that girl is totally feeling ignored and pushed aside.” Dia stood and winked at the whole table, “I’m going to dance, see you boys later.”

The 3 men sat in silence for a moment before Justin spoke up. “Okay, I can see what Amanda was saying about not being sure about her.”

“You talked?” Ed looked shocked at his friend. 

“Hmm?” Justin looked to Ed after watching the girl he was currently talking to start 2 guys eyeing her like meet. “Uh yeah. We don’t click well but we’re civil enough, jesus Ed. It was on the 3rd day you two showed up and I came to pick you up to record. You were still in the shower and I waited and we talked a bit. 

“Amanda seemed a little more off than usual with me so I asked. She confessed that Dia made her uncomfortable and didn’t think she was a good match, before back-peddling and saying she didn’t mean to intrude on my private life and apologized. And... “ Justin stopped and looked a little embarrassed. His red cheeks from drinking didn’t help hide his guilty look. 

 “What?” Ed asked irritated for some reason. 

“And she said she was sorry for not being able to get along with me. That she knew we were really good friends and didn’t want to ruin that but she wasn’t going to change herself to please you. Then she hoped she was wrong about her feelings for Dia and wished me luck.” Justin looked away, too embarrassed to look Ed in the eye. “I gotta say man, I got a little jealous of you right at that moment.”

“See Ed, there’s nothing to worry about. Just relax and enjoy yourself.” Dillion said with a pat on Ed’s back. 

Ed squinted at Justin, taking in his words. He had a sudden swell of unbelievable pride in his girl but the ear worm had gotten to his brain already and now he couldn’t stop thinking about Amanda being in bed with another man. Or woman. Oh god, or both. Ed stood up abruptly, almost knocking his chair over. “I have to go!”

“Wait, Ed maybe you should sober up a bit first” Dillion looked worried. 

“I’m fine” Ed grumped and marched out of the bar. They weren’t that far from the condo complex and the cold air would sober him up just fine. 

After walking the 10 minutes back to their room, Ed’s head had cleared and realized how stupid he was being. Ed smiled to himself as he unlocked the door and shook his head at how silly he was and what a great girl he had. 

Until he heard a long, wonton moan. 

Ed froze and could literally feel his heart break. His shoulders slumped and let his coat and keys fall to the floor. He dragged his feet but couldn’t stop his movements towards the bedroom where he was hearing more moans and obvious sounds of sex.

He raised his hand to open the door when he stopped again. There was another moan but listening again, he realized it wasn’t Amanda’s moan. And then another voice groaned and then… someone speaking Japanese? 

Then to top it all off, he heard Amanda snort and laugh out loud. 

Now he was mad and confused so he peeked inside to find Amanda sitting on the bed, cross legged and in one of his nightshirts and a pair of boy short panties. She was sipping wine from a plastic bright green wine glass and was watching something on her laptop. 

Again Amanda being Amanda, she was positioned oddly so her back was actually towards the door and Ed could see what was playing on the laptop. 

“Oh my god! Are you watching tentacle pron?” Ed shouted as he stepped inside fully. 

Amanda screamed and jumped, spilling her wine all over herself and the bed. Ignoring that, she slammed the laptop screen down so fast, Ed barely saw her hand move. “What are you doing here back so soon!?” Amanda shrieked. 

“I, well, uh. That doesn’t matter right now, were you watching tentacle porn?” Ed asked again trying not to laugh. 

“You were supposed to be gone the whole night! And you left me horny! And you weren’t supposed to be home so soon!” Amanda rambled, blushing so much her neck was turning red too. 

 “I didn’t know you were into that” Ed said smirking. 

“Shut up, ginger boy!” Amanda shouted as she stood up off the bed but now standing she didn’t know what to do with herself. “I just. The thing is. You see it started. I mean, I discovered it when I was in high school. I mean, why am I explaining myself? Why were you skulking about trying to scare me?”

It was Ed’s turn to look embarrassed. “If I explain my embarrassing story of the night, will you tell me about your kink I never knew about?”

Amanda crossed her arms and looked away with puffed cheeks. “I’ll think about it after you explain yourself.”

“Okay well, I was a little drunk when it was brought up how I was ‘allowed’ to go out without you and then the guys were saying how great that was that you were cool with it but then Dia had to say something about you maybe looking to find some dick somewhere else and then Justin pointed out I’ve been working almost this whole holiday and I’ve been a rubbish boyfriend. So in my drunken stupor I thought I’d come back to find you and dick you down so good, you’d never even think of another man but then I came through the door and heard moans and sex and panicked and felt my heart break and followed the sound and then found you looking so beauiful in my shirt and those panties on that lushous ass of your’s and you watchin porn after I left you alone, I just… My brain stopped working.”

Amanda stared at him with a raised eyebrow and a doubtful look on her face as she listened to him ramble. Though once she heard that Dia had started spewing her poison, she wasn’t surprised to learn that a seed of doubt was planted. “Wait you’re telling me that brain of yours works sometimes?”

“It’s up for debate to be honest, love” Ed smiled sheepishly.  

“And you were gonna ‘dick me down so good’ huh?” Amanda said as she still kept her arms crossed but now jetting her hip out as well, sass surfacing in defense of the embarrassment of being caught. 

“Okay so maybe my brain isn’t working at all tonight” Ed said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Not the most romantic thing I’ve said.”

“Ironic sense you know, Ed Sheeran and all” Amanda smirked and nudged her chin in his direction. 

“Are you seriously gonna keep sassing me when I caught you watching tentacle anime porn?” Ed said exasperated.

“Are you seriously gonna keep bringing up the hentai?” Amanda sighed.

“Oh it has an actual name? Please tell, love, why haven’t I learned about this private enjoyment before?” Ed said, slipping into to his low baritone and stepped up to cupped Amanda’s warm cheek. 

“Cause I haven’t needed to watch porn in a while and plus it’s just sort of a once in a blue moon type thing” Amanda confessed, blushing straight to the tips of her hair. “Plus it wasn’t tentacles…”

“Oh? Please correct me than?” Ed smirked, loving the way her whole body was warm. 

“It was monster girls and aliens” Amanda whispered. “I like the succubuses” Amanda muttered as she placed her face against his chest.    

“That. Is. So. Cute” Ed laughed as he hugged Amanda. He lowered his head so he whispered in her ear, “Would you like to watch it together?”

“Well…” Amanda snuggled her face more into Ed’s chest. “I spilled my wine of the bed.”

“Wanna do it on the couch?” Ed asked simply.

“Edward!” Amanda pulled back and slapped her hand against his chest. “You’re so lewd.”

“That wasn’t a no” Ed wiggled his eyebrows. 

“You’re right, it wasn’t” Amanda giggled back.

[ober-affen-geil]

My Roswell Rewatch liveblog

1x12 AKA Everything Hurts And Nothing Is Ok

How many aliens were actually on the ship?

love that shot of noah entering his pod, the distortion makes him seem very alien

oh ok its been three days alright

“if only there was someone to ask” BE SO VERY CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR MICHAEL

interesting this is the second time we see condensation on the pods, do they give off heat? are they cool? alien body temperature is higher than ours....

“i have three degrees” poor liz but also mood

i wonder why alex only approached michael to go to caulfield? like max has police training and isobel has a pretty useful power here, was it just the familiarity and the brute force use of his power?

at least max is trying to let isobel have what she needs

love how they put him back in his suit

so did he use isobel to get him out of the pod or did he just drain her of energy until he could get out himself?

YES MAX FUCKING DECK HIM

“is that what you want” love how this is a discussion they have, seriously.

“you can’t give someone a brain tumor” THAT’S WHAT YOU THINK ALEX

yes michael start shit now rather than low key throwing shade the whole drive there jfc

LOVE THIS JOKE “STAR TREK” FUCKING KYLE JESUS

“i pick up on max and iz sometimes when things are really bad for one of us” max AND iz which implies he can sense max separately. like hes sensing the other aliens now

come on noah you fucking asshole

leaving michael a voicemail ok right yeah max mentions this at the end

i wonder if isobel is picking up on noah’s pain? max too? isobel would probably be more sensitive to it tho

love love LOVE THIS yes women here for women “what do you need” FUCKING YES

michael being prickly at kyle i lowkey want them to be bros in season 2 but i’m also down for michael just bitching at him cus its great

a very different sibling dynamic, but one just as important and interesting

“build a wall” VERY SUBTLE

also love how long it actually takes flint to figure out that alex wasn’t sent by jesse

“i wasn’t asking” DAMN RIGHT

max is just as riled on behalf of isobel as he is about liz, yeah this is very in character for him

i really wanna know why noah is so obsessed with rosa. and i wonder if it has something to do with the illness liz mentioned in the pilot as the reason she self medicated. maybe related to mimi?

“he marked you” territorial much max?

“pretend this all away” so noah is a coward but we knew that

i wonder if michael can enter the mindscape with isobel too? probably yes given what happens with his mom

“feel free to leave me alone” SERIOUSLY I LOVE THEM AHAHAHA

“oh spare me” FUCK YEAH ALEX TELL HIM OFF

love how that alien backs away immediately when he sees michael. wonder if its because he recognizes that he’s an alien too or if he recognizes who he is?

“these people they’re like me!” i fucking die fuck

“oh no. oh i know her” THE LOOK ON HIS FACE I CAN’T GUYS I’M DEAD ALREADY FUCK

love how isobel takes max’s hand and brings it into her space, symbolism there is nice

ah ok so he did just use the energy he got from killing rosa got it

oh man the guilt max has over that compounded with feeling good after ouch

“destruction is chaos is entropy is energy is power is victory” this is. significant.

“what does he have on you” yeah wait please tell

“he can’t lie in here” you guys are putting a lot of stake on that i’m just saying

i do also love that max does this for her. like i know he very much wants noah dead but this is like. for liz.

no michael don’t do that babe

“make sure you get out” BEST BROS

aw cam no bb i love you

AW CAM I’M SO SORRY PLEASE COME BACK SOON

i--guys i’m not ready fuck

“you’re a miserable liar” AHFHDHFIOOWHIDLHF

“but you can’t love me” as she bows her head while he has to leave her behind ARE YOU KIDDING ME I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN

i do respect max for not actually actively killing noah when he could have

yes alex this is important yes babe. i’m sorry bb but yes.

max with the poetic bookends ofc jesus what a nerd

“you look like hell, you ok?” ALIEN SIBLINGS

max goddammit

[curly-q-reviews]

FLIX FROM THE NET

Bird Box, 2018 (dir. Susanne Bier)

SPOILER WARNING THERE WILL BE SPOILERS DONT READ IF U HAVENT SEEN IT YET AND WANT TO

[TW: SUICIDE, MURDER, VIOLENCE, BLOOD, GORE]

well fuck its been a while!!  happy new year y’all hope u had a Fun and Safe time!!!  i for one was at a party where we started playing Shrek at exactly 10:39 PM to see if Smash Mouth’s hit song I’m a Believer started playing right at midnight and to my utter disbelief and elation it did!!!  move over times square ball drop a new arbitrary way of celebrating the start of a new calendar year is here and it involves a large green monster with a scottish accent who really loves his onions (#me am i right ladies)

WELL ANYWAY heres a fun new series ive been thinking of starting cause ya girl watches a lot of netflix movies and has many opinions about them.  i think i’ll do a separate post about the whole Netflix Original Film trend in general and how its changed the film industry at a later date but since i just watched the above movie not too long ago i wanted to get all my thoughts out there right fuckin now!!

netflix is without a doubt the OG king of streaming services, they were really the first to get the ball rolling and then dozens of other companies scrambled to latch onto this money train while it was rolling on the tracks full steam (or should i say.... stream EL;KGHS;EKFSH; please end me) ahead.  it started out as a rental subscription service where u could pick out three movies at a time to rent and then they were sent to u in the mail (like blockbuster but now you never have to leave your house ever again to get that sweet sweet rental content).  and then the decision was made to actually start online streaming, no physical DVD’s required!  ISNT TECHNOLOGY GREAT

well whoooo boy this shit swept the nation, people couldnt get enough of such a convenient and relatively affordable service and netflix started really raking in the dough.  and at some point they got rich enough to say “hey fuck it!!!  lets make our own movies baby!!!!”  and here we are now with Netflix Original Movies and TV Shows, which means a new player has entered the movie game in a very novel and innovative way.  why pay money for a movie ticket and leave your house to go to a theater when cool new movies are being released on a subscription service u already own to watch movies you already know and enjoy?  and then u can sit butt-ass naked in ur bedroom alone stuffing ur face with cheese puffs like an insatiable cheddar beast and see something new and fun and interesting

ok so.  Bird Box.  here we have a movie based off of a book (so i guess this also counts as a Book Movies review but I DIGRESS) starring hollywood powerhouse sandra bullock, featuring Supreme Lesbian Overlord Sarah Paulson and Resident Crazy Old Man John Malkovich, directed by a relatively unknown but competent female filmmaker Susanne Bier (who also directed Things We Lost in the Fire in 2007, a moving drama starring Halle Berry).  this one definitely has a lot of proimse compared to what netflix has offered so far in terms of their original movies (im gonna get into Dumplin’ at a later date cause jesus christ what a mess) and i went in with pretty high expectations

did it deliver???  well uuhhhh yeah sort of i guess!!  we got some pretty strong performances from our leading lady bullock who really does deliver it every time, a few strong supporting roles like newcomer Trevante Rhodes of Moonlight fame (his energy on screen is just so compelling and soothing), not overly obnoxious child actors which is really all u can ask for, and overall a solid story. 

now heres where i gotta say that i couldnt help comparing this film to another movie of its kind, directed by the notorious M. Night Shyamalan.  y’all remember The Happening?  cause i remember The Happening.  i remember that it was total shit and that the twist was that it was the fucking plants making everyone kill themselves.  the PLANTS.  and i also remember mark wahlbergs dumb-ass confused face that he used in every single shot no matter the context, im AMAZED i remember zoe deschanel in this movie cause she may as well have been one of the killer plants with how little she emoted, and i remember mark wahlberg yelling at a fake office ficus and apparently i was supposed to be scared while watching this clusterfuck. 

the way that this movie was described to me by friends who had seen it before me was basically that Bird Box is a slightly better The Happening, and no truer words have ever been spoken.  we basically have the same premise going on here:  unknown force is causing people to off themselves, our lead(s) have to try and find a way to escape this unknown force without even knowing what it really is, and theres some sort of “sanctuary” they gotta try and get to (which is a common plot point in really all apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic films).  now whereas The Happening’s rules for this scenario make entirely no fucking sense (how in the fuck are u supposed to be able to out-run WIND???), Bird Box has some rules for dealing with this Unknown Thing that make slightly more sense.  when u open ur eyes while outside, the chance of the Thing making u kill urself in some horrific way is extremely high, so wear a blindfold when ur outside and keep all windows covered when ur inside.  makes sense!  thats something i can believe and get behind which makes me more immersed in the story!

unfortunately like The Happening there are still some little things that kinda dont make much sense and take u out of it.  apparently some people when they see this unknown entity dont wanna die, but instead find it absolutely beautiful, which makes them want to make everyone else look at it to see how beautiful it is.  and its insinuated that these people are mentally ill or have some sort of psychiatric issue.  i get that this adds more stakes to the situation and ups the ante, but it doesnt really sit well with me that once again, mentally ill people are the villains in a horror-type story.  and i also dont really understand why theyd then wanna go around and make other people see the thing??  unless the thing has them in a mind-control state or something and is making them do its bidding but that seems kind of a weird thing for an all-powerful evil formless entity to do. 

and that leads me to the next issue i have with Bird Box.  if ur gonna have an apocalyptic scenario where people do something as serious as kill themselves due to an unknown cause, it almost seems a little cliche and cheesy to have it be some sort of mythical celestial god-like or demon-like entity thats doing the damage.  i actually really liked where The Happening was going with its source of all the chaos being something naturally made, like the Earth deploying some sort of self-preservation mechanism or something.  the idea of that to me is actually loads more frightening than some invisible boogeyman that u cant look at.  and then Shamalamadingdong had to go and make it stupid by saying that it was fucking plants trying to kill people by releasing pheromones or some shit.  like why cant we have the best of both of these??  something naturally-occuring that maybe has even happened before in the planets history (maybe it wasnt a meteor that killed off the dinosaurs after all??), that isnt FUCKING PLANTS, and that doesnt do cheesy shit like make ur eyes turn grey and bloodshot and like whisper to u telling u to take ur blindfold off (i swear that happens multiple times it was pretty silly)

thats another thing, this movie’s tone is all over the place.  there are some moments where a more light-hearted tone is needed to break up the tension, for sure, but it almost as if the writing and dialogue werent really taking this serious of a story as seriously as they should have.  weirdly placed jokes are all over the place, there were some moments where the dialogue made me cringe cause it was so awkward.  bullock’s character gets to have some good breakdown moments which help bring the tone to the level of somberness and despair it should be at, but all the other supporting characters dont really get the same space to process whats happening to them, so it kinda comes off like they arent really affected by, say, their wife throwing herself into a burning car right in front of their very eyes. 

overall i’d still say this is a worthwhile watch, especially considering its a netflix movie.  if you’ve ever wanted to see a not-as-horrible version of The Happening that has some deeper metaphorical stuff going on about motherhood and family and shit than this is for you.  the production value is overall pretty solid (though when it comes to cinematography i actually prefer The Happening from an artistic standpoint) and sandra bullock knocks it out of the park.  go check it out if this seems like something thats up ur alley!!

ok bye for now hopefully it doesnt take me six months to write another review but we’ll see!!  my brain is a mystery and time is an illusion HAPPY 20-BI-TEEN Y’ALL

[writingthingsisdifficult]

Shrinking - The teaspoon girl pt 5

A witch turns Y/N into a teaspoon sized woman, and Sam and Dean has to make sure she doesn’t get squashed – and find a cure.

Word count: 2226

Have another part – this one is a bit angstier than the others. Sorry about that. Hopefully part six isn’t too far away (I’m sorry – I’m a slow writer).

Please let me know what you think – and remember that I’m not English. Also let me know if you want on – or off – my tag list.

From part four:

Leaning back to look at him like Spiderman, she failed horribly at winking and snorted loudly. “Shhh…” she whisper-yelled. “I’m climbing Sam, can’t you see? Always wanted to – how can I not, I mean look at ‘im,” she continued, slurring slightly. “Mmm… just… muscles, y’know. And…”

She was interrupted by Sam, who surprisingly had turned the shade of a very ripe beetroot. “Y/N, you’re drunk,” he said, gently lifting her off his arm – she’d reached his elbow, and was trying to scramble over a fold in the fabric without falling down – and put her back on the table, where she promptly plopped down on her butt and groaned.

“Hey! Put me back! I’m trying to… I’m gonna… I wanna…” She grinned widely and blew him a loud kiss.

“You’re drunk,” Sam repeated.

“No, I’m not. You’re drunk. I’m… I’m –“ Shutting up abruptly, her eyes darted around frantically. “Bucket!” she mouthed, and then threw up all over herself.

A wet washcloth slapped down on the table, followed by a loud laugh that definitely belonged to Dean. The light hurt in Y/N’s eyes, and she felt increasingly dizzy, but being covered in vomit made nothing better, so she embraced the gesture – even with the laugh.

After wiping her face and discarding her trousers and the sweater, she felt much better. The cool air on her skin slowed the spinning room down to a manageable speed, and she dared to look up.

Dean was grinning, looking like he wanted to laugh so bad, but lacked the courage to do so. Sam was watching her intensely, and suddenly she felt extremely exposed, wearing only a t-shirt and a pair of ill-fitting panties. His gaze was scrutinising, but when she made no signs to keel over, he relaxed a bit, and finally he smiled. “Time to put you to bed, huh?” he said, holding out his hand.

Y/N smiled back, feeling a surge of drunken courage. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Sorry to break it to you, Sammy, but I’m a classy lady. You have to take me out on at least one date first.” With a satisfied grin, she climbed into his hand and let him carry her to the bed.

“Says the girl who just now tried to climb my brother,” Dean chuckled.

“Be nice,” Sam replied with a small, sideways smile. “She’s drunk.”

“Yeah, be nice,” Y/N echoed as Sam tucked the handkerchief around her. “She’s dr – hey! I’m not drunk. You’re drunk.”

“Whatever you say, precious,” Sam finished and turned off the night-light.

It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep, and she slept peacefully, only waking twice from a shadow looming over her, and the rest of the evening passed with hushed conversations and flickering light from Sam’s laptop screen.

The pain that rolled over Y/N when she woke up the next day was out of this universe. Every fibre in her body protested her continued existence.

With massive effort, she sat up in bed and did a short inventory on herself. Head: check, impossible to ignore. Even without the splitting headache, or the fact that her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth, feeling like sandpaper dipped in glue. Torso: heart racing, but otherwise okay. Acceptable. Arms and hands: surprisingly sore. What the hell had she been up to? The previous day was nothing more than an alcoholic blur. Legs and feet: both there. That was a relief.

She sighed. “Water,” she muttered, looking around the room. At least she wasn’t alone.

Sam was nowhere to be seen. Probably out on his morning run, but Dean was cleaning his gun by the window, and hearing Y/N’s feeble attempts to communicate, he looked up from his work. “She lives! How you feelin’, tiny? Ready to go climbing today?”

She frowned at him and the stupid, bright light slapping her across the eyes. “Like shit. What the hell are you talking about?”

“Like you don’t know,” he laughed, “trying to hit on my brother with your impressive rock climbing skills…”

A vision of fabric and arms and a disappointed face flicked in her brain. “Oh, Jesus, kill me! Kill me now!”

“Nope. It’s too much fun watching you dance around –“

Y/N hissed when Sam strode through the door. He smiled brightly when he saw her. “Morning! How are you feeling?”

Y/N’s face flushed with embarrassment. Or maybe it was arousal; he looked absolutely delicious with his hair clinging to his face, and drops of sweat rolling down his throat. “Horrible. Hey, Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m… sorry about… last night.”

He laughed and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. You were drunk. It’s Dean’s fault, really. He shouldn’t have given you alcohol.”

“Hey!”

Y/N grinned. “Yeah, Dean. It’s all your fault!”

“So no harm done,” Sam continued over Dean’s grumbling, holding up a white paper bag. “Breakfast’s in here. Save a sandwich for me.” With a wink, he disappeared into the bathroom, leaving Y/N with a spinning head and bright pink ears.

After breakfast, which turned out much livelier than Y/N had expected, Dean fetched his car keys and the box of fake IDs. He picked one for himself, and tossed the companion piece to Sam.

“Seriously, Dean? Where do you get these stupid names from?”

Sam’s protest was somewhat justified, Y/N thought, when she caught a glimpse of the card. The picture was great, but the name… Special agent Philip Artsville. Didn’t stop her from giggling, though.

When she finally managed to pull a serious face again, Sam had already changed into his FBI getup, and so had Dean. Y/N paused for a moment. “Looking sharp, guys, but how am I gonna fit in those pockets?” The suit was elegant, but the pockets weren’t the largest.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Sam made a series of indecipherable noises before clearing his throat. “Yeah… about that…” He hesitated for just a bit too long. An unpleasant sting settled in Y/N’s stomach, and got even stronger when he looked to Dean for confirmation. “We don’t think it’s such a good idea for you to come with us on this one.”

“What? But…” Never in a million years had she imagined them leaving her behind.

Dean nodded. “Thing is… you’re so small now. If something happens… I don’t have the skills to fix squashed dolls and neither does Sam.”

“Come on! I can’t stay here. I’ll lose my mind! Nothing will happen –“

“You don’t know that. Look, I’m sorry, but the decision is final,” Sam said, looking at her with a mix of sympathy and determination. Y/N stared back with pure frustration in her eyes.

“It’s for the best,” Dean agreed, receiving a cold stare in return.  

“Fuck you,” she spat, trying hard not to burst into tears. “I’m going crazy here and you wanna leave me behind?” She turned on her heel and marched over to her bed-box and climbed in, struggling even more than usual, pulling the handkerchief completely over her head. It felt too big – like she was drowning in the soft fabric.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N,” Sam said, trying to pull the blanket back just to see that she was okay, but she clung to it and almost got lifted off the table. He didn’t get an answer.

“See ya later,” Dean said, and then the door closed.

Y/N peeked over the edge of the box. The room was empty. Darker than she remembered. She climbed out and padded over to the nightlight. At least the switch was on the base.

Slowly climbing onto the metal disc, she stopped for a second. It was harder to get up there. Craning her neck, she tried to see if they’d moved her bed without her noticing. No, it was same lamp as before. But it had definitely grown.

Shaking her head, she threw her leg over the edge and pulled herself up. The switch was harder to push too. Putting all her weight and strength behind the push, she almost toppled over when the switch finally gave and light flooded the table. What the hell? She didn’t have the same problems earlier.

The drop down from the lamp seemed almost daunting now the thought had settled in her mind. Making her way over to the box, she measured herself against it. She couldn’t look over the edge any more. “FUCKING WITCHES!!!!!” she yelled, kicking the matchbox ladder. It didn’t even move, and she sank to her knees, clutching her hair and screaming louder than she had ever screamed before.

Falling quiet, she sat with her back against the box and stared into the room. It was as if it expanded; each wall slowly moved outwards. And it was too quiet. If they’d only left some music on or something. Even crappy daytime TV.  But no. Everything about the situation reminded Y/N of how insignificant and useless she was.

Not ready to face this new revelation, she crawled into the bed and sank deep into her little mattress. She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing, and eventually she fell asleep, having no other means to pass the time.

Sam came back first. He’d left Dean behind at the diner, and gone straight to the motel with a bag of food. At first he was confused when the room was completely silent, with no sign of Y/N, and his stomach fell when he found her exactly where they’d left her that morning.

“Hey,” he said softly, stroking her hair away from her face to wake her. “I’m back. You hungry?”

Rubbing her eyes, she replied with a yawn followed by the tiniest sigh. “Mhm. Where’s Dean?”

The question punched Sam in the gut. Asking for his brother – he didn’t know what to say. He wished that he was the first thing on her mind when she woke up, but if it was Dean… Her heart would be shattered. Dean had never seen her as anything other than family. “He’s… uh… not here.” It was a coward’s solution, choosing not to utter the words that might hurt her.

She smiled. It was a sad smile, but a smile nonetheless. “Oh, he found himself entertainment for the evening, huh?” Letting out a small laugh, Y/N hauled herself out of the bed and climbed into Sam’s hand. “Good for him. Hope she was pretty.”

Squinting, Sam watched for a heartbreak reaction. There was none. Was the girl Dean had gone home with pretty? He honestly hadn’t noticed. “I guess,” he said, shrugging noncommittally, busying himself with preparing dinner for Y/N.

He put the plate down for her, and pulled up a chair. Y/N was mellower than usual, if mellow was the right word. Somehow all her movements seemed sluggish without the laziness – every time she turned her head it was gentle, a small movement, every step slower, every time she lifted her arms it was… timid: that was the word Sam was looking for. It was as if she tried to be invisible.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, regretting it immediately. The look he received was so lost, so without hope, he could barely stand it.

Y/N drew a short breath and sat down on her spoon. “You mean besides the obvious?” It would’ve been a crisp question had it not been for her voice; just a mist, not really there.

Resisting the urge to scoop her up and cradle her to his chest, Sam settled on leaning on the table instead. The tiny shake almost tipped her over. “We’re working on it,” he offered, knowing it wasn’t enough.

“I know.” It was a short answer, and it broke his heart. Y/N had given up. She looked him in the eyes. “I just… I miss my make-up and my clothes. I miss feeling pretty. And useful.”

“I know you do,” Sam said in a whisper, and continued: “For what it’s worth I think you’re pretty. And even though you can’t help out physically right now, you bring support and friendship. You keep us company. That’s plenty – ”

“Instead I’m fucking shrinking!” Her voice quivered, and she sniffed, turning away to hide the tears in her eyes.

“Shrinking?” This was bad news. A thousand what ifs raced through Sam’s brain.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I can’t… can’t see over the top of the… the…” She sniffed and got up, dragging her feet behind her until she stood in front of Sam’s outstretched hand, and leaned forward a little, nudging it ever so slightly.

As gently as he could, Sam lifted her up and held her tiny body close to him, stroking her back with his thumb. Soon he felt hot tears trickle down his collarbone, and he rocked back and forth, saying nothing and everything all at once.

After a while Y/N’s sobs quieted, and her shaking body stilled in his hand. Her chest rose and fell evenly, and Sam held her up to look closely at her.

Her face was wet and swollen, and the skin around her eyes was raw and pink, but she looked peaceful for the first time in ages.

Careful not to wake her, he carried her over to the bed and tucked her in, before returning to his laptop, doubling his efforts.

Dean found Sam lying on top of the covers in his bed. He was fully dressed and sleeping restlessly. The laptop had slid halfway down from his stomach, and the cursed bowl was in his hand. Scattered all over the bed and floor were papers with scribbles, copies of the symbols on the bowl, attempts at translations.

Smiling softly, Dean checked on Y/N before cleaning up the mess and the computer, and carefully moving the bowl so it wouldn’t fall to the floor and shatter.

Once that was done, he expertly removed Sam’s shoes and coaxed the blanket from under him. “We really need to figure this one out, little brother,” he whispered as he shook the blanket out over Sam. “And then you and Y/N are gonna have a serious talk. Don’t think I haven’t seen through you. Both.”

With a squeeze on Sam’s shoulder, he went to get ready for the night. When he got back after brushing his teeth, Sam had turned over on his side, facing Y/N and stretching a hand towards her.

Part six

Tagging my wonderful friends:

@awesomeahwu @brynleewolfe @funwithfanfics @babeinthebowtie @savingapplepie-eatingthings @winchesterprincessbride @savvythedork @littlegreenplasticsoldier @youtubehelpsmesurvive @blackcherrywhiskey @mrswhozeewhatsis @schwarzwaelder-kirschtorte @aiaranradnay @iamreadinginsecret @barneybrigade @fandomismyspiritanimal @mogaruke @kathaswings @superwholockyooooo @missdestiel67 @blackfandomtrashandproud @wstrumpel @18crazybutcutealsopsycho @saradiamayaf @escabell @exploratiionist @hennessy0274-blog @sushi-senpai-chan @femmewinchester

[spitefulqueenofdemons]

Come back to me

Summary: You are captured by Hydra and they force you to undergo Winter Soldier conditioning that steals your memories and turns you into a mindless Soldier.

Warnings: Cussing, angst, sorta fluff.

Word Count: 2699 (NO REGRETS!!!!)

A/N: Yeah, another bucky story. Sorry not sorry. Bucky is bae af.

Being an avenger has its ups and downs. The ups, Public recognition, hanging out with the coolest people ever, making lifelong friends, saving people. The downs, the occasional near death experiance, bloody lip, broken arm, being kidnapped. Which brings me to my point. I have been kidnapped.

Bucky’s point of view.

Missions are always the same. We get a call about bad guys. We go after the bad guys. The bad guys have some sort of nefarious plan to either capture us or kill us. They underestimate how good we are and then loose.

So of course I thought today would be like every other mission. Steve, Nat, Y/N, and I would go through the front doors. Tony would take sky patrol with Vision and Wanda and Pam would be in the quinjet for backup. Easy peasy.

Steve and Nat went one way while Y/N and I went toward the prize. It was a group of files that was supposed to have all the locations of the last few hydra bases. We get that file we can finally finish hydra off. Finally.

Then the soldiers came. “You take out the soldiers. Ill get the file.” Y/N’s sweet voice called out.

I didn’t want her to go for it alone, but her way seemed to be the only one that made sense. So I let her go while the soldiers surrounded me.

“Capture if possible. Terminate if necissary.” One of them called.

As they advanced with their stun rods I braced myself. One of them got close enough and I swung my metal arm, hitting him across the head and sending him into another one.

Then all hell seemed to break out. People were flying at me, and almost easily I countered every single one of them. A well-placed knee. A punch here or there. It was almost like dancing.

Finally, they were all subdued and I could continue on to where Y/N was hopefully waiting for me. “On my way.” I said into the com on my ear.

“Buck, I have been compromised. Find the file and get the hell out of there.” Her voice broke the calm of my composure.

I broke into a run. “What do you mean compromised. Y/N!” I called into the com, pushing through the doors. There was no answer. “FRIDAY! Open her com. Let me hear her!” He directed the artificial intelligence that had access to all tech Stark could get his hands on. 

“Bucky, what is happening?” Cap flooded my ear.

“Stay off the line, everybody, I need to hear this.” He commanded.

Her faint voice was traceable. “You guys are stupid. Honestly. You think Ill give you anything. Just kill me now and save the trouble.”

It sounded like the com wasn’t on her, but it was close by. I ran into the room the file was supposed to be in and found the back wall had been blown off and in the distance a hydra jet was dissapearing into the horizon.

“Stark, follow that damn jet!” He ordered.

“On it.” Stark said.

“Seriously Bucky. What the hell is going on?” Natasha’s voice found its way to my ear.

I started looking around frantic for the file. It probably had the base that they were taking Y/N to. “They got her. Hydra grabbed her. She hid the file though. We need to find it.”

Y/N’s voice chimed in again, only now it was an exhasperated laughed. “Jesus. You sure know how to use that thing. Hit me again. I dare you.” She was taunting whoever her captor was.

“Dumbass.” I muttered as I found the file. “FRIDAY, track her com and see if it is at any of these bases.” I demanded, putting the contents of the file in a weird electronic doodad that Nat and Y/N insisted on using.

In no time she had the location and we were on our way.

Nat tried to cheer me up but I wasn’t worried. I knew Y/N. She can handle herself.

Y/N’s point of view.

The man who was in charge of my ‘interogation’ landed a punch directly to my jaw. I spit out a puddle of blood and smiled. Sure it hurt, but the look on his face was worth it. “Come on. You hit like a girl. Hit me harder. You know you want to.” I teased.

“I know what you are trying to do agent. Your facade will be short lived. Soon you won’t be able to hold back your screams of pain.” The man had a heavy german accent.

I rolled my eyes. “Oh shut up hitler. Im starting to think you are all bark and no bite.” I teased, ignoring the stinging on my face.

The man was tired of my going on about how I could do this all day and all that. “Fine. No more mr. Nice torture. Now we bring out the big guns.” He said, snapping his fingers.

Two large men wheeled in a machine that looked quite familiar.

“Im sure you recognize this agent.” You said, pulling the chair you were in till it was under the machine. “I assume you have seen the Winter Soldier conditioning footage. You have until the machine warms up to tell me what I want to know.” He threatened, turning on the machine’s program.

Sure I was scared. Hell I was scared shitless, but I would never betray my people. “Hook me up and turn it on full power baby. This is just another weekend for me.” I said, instantly wishing I didn’t.

He shrugged. “As you wish.” He flipped the on switch again and the last thing I saw was the head piece lowering down over my eyes.

Bucky’s point of view.

“Can’t this thing go any faster?” Natasha asked, moving up to the cockpit to leave me alone.

The com was stil on. “I assume you have seen the Winter Soldier conditioning footage.” I heard loud and clear. The male’s voice was easier to hear then the Y/N’s. “You have until the machine warms up to tell me what I want to know.”

My eyes glazed over as I remember the pain. If her memory wasn’t of use to them, then they were going to wipe it. We needed to hurry up. “Tony, tell me you are close.” I said into the com.

“No man. No closer then you. I lost the jet a while back.” Tony’s voice said. “Your like five minutes away.”

“Hook me up and turn it on full power baby.” Y/N’s voice reached my ears.

“NO!” I jumped to my feet and looked out the window. “Fucking step on it.” I hissed to Pam, who was flying the jet.

Y/N/s screams were the only thing I could hear. Her cries for help. Pleading to let her die. It killed me.

A hand on my shoulder pulled me away. “We are here.”

Y/N’s point of view.

Pain. It was worse then anything I had ever felt before. Ive been shot, hit, electrocuted, and broken before but nothing like this. This was hell. Everything that ever hurt me before all at once times ten in my head. It was enough to make me crave death. At least if I was dead I couldn’t feel it anymore.

Then it was over. The pain was gone. I wanted to ask why it was gone but I couldn’t. I couldn’t say anything. I could only open my eyes. The room was blotchy and bright.

“Agent Y/L/N?” He asked. I tilted my head in confusion. Who was that. Why was he asking me? Who is this?

His smile was pleased. “Good. A blank slate.” He said to himself. “I am the commander. Your handler. You do exactly as I say. Do you understand?” He asked.

I nodded. If he said that was what was happening, who was I to say different.

“Stand  up and show me what you can do.” He commanded. “Kill these men.”

I looked to the men on either side of me. They were larger then me, but if The Commander said I can do it then I guess I can.

In an instant they were both ready to attack me, but I was quicker. I delivered a knee to the one closest to me’s stomach before I threw my foot back to hit the other man in the nose. My foot finally came down on the first one’s foot, making him lurch forward, right into my waiting hand. I thrusted up as hard as I could, smashing into his nose and shattering it. The shards must have went into his brain, because when he went down he didn’t get back up.

The other man was watching in horror. He fell to his knees. “Please don’t kill me. Please.” He begged, his voice shaking.

I didn’t feel bad for him. I was told to kill him. He deserved to die. I had to kill him. So I walked over, pulled him up by the shirt and grabbed his throat with my hand. It was soft. His own hands clawed at the one that had him by the throat, and his nails tore at my flesh, but I ignored it. I only squeezed until I could feel my fingertips with my palm.

“Good work.” The commander complimented. “You nearly popped his head off. Not only are you agile and resilient, but you are incredibly strong too.”

There was a commotion outside the doors and the commander moved behind me. “I see your old friends have found you. Good. Kill the next person who walks through that door. That is an order.” He hissed.

I nodded. Old friends or not, it was my mission.

Bucky’s point of view.

I threw the guard against the door before tossing him to the side. Y/N was through that door. I had to see her. I kicked open the door and went inside.

She was standing tall, her eyes completly blank. Her right arm was bleeding from several scratches that littered her skin. Against one of the walls was the dreadful machine that had destroyed my life. There were two dead men in the room and hiding behind her was another man.

“Come on baby, Im breaking you out of here.” I said, holding out my flesh hand.

Her eyes didn’t register what I said. “Haha, you fool. You are too late!” The man behind her called. “Complete your mission!”

My heart dropped. Mission? They had used it on her. Before I could say anything to bring her out of it, her hand had grabbed my outstretched hand. Her fingers dug into the flesh with a strength I didn’t think she had.

Gracefully she spun and hit my body with full force, her other elbow dug into my ribs. “Y/N” I gasped as all my air left.

Her leg connected with mine, knocking them out from under me. I hit the ground hard and she was on me, her hands reaching for my throat.

My own arms were up, holding her hands still. “Y/N, stop. This isn’t you. You are not his pawn.” I tried to get through to her.

There was no reaction to her. Only her knees dug into my sides, making my drop my hands from hers and going after her knees. Big mistake. She pinned my arms down with her knees and wrapped her hands around my throat.

“Please.” I gasped with what little air I could.

Y/N’s point of view.

“Come on baby. You can do better then that.” Bucky’s voice taunted from above me. “Hit me. Come on.” He teased.

With determination, I threw my leg out in his direction and sweeped his legs out, making him crash hard beside me. I took that opportunity to roll over and climb on top of him. “I win.” I smiled.

His dark eyebrow arched and he smirked. “Did you?” He asked before throwing all his weight to one side, knocking me off. He put his knees on either side of me and pinned both my hands above my head with one hand. “I kinda feel like I might have won.” He said.

I rolled my eyes. “Sure you did.” I said.

His lips connected with mine and his hand left mine to trail down to the hem of my shirt.

I smirked and slammed my arm against his leg, moving it only a quarter of an inch, but it was enough to slide out from under him. Tackled him and this time wrapped my legs around his, holding his arms under my torso. “Dont get distracted old man.” I teased, letting my lips fall back to his.

My finger’s stretched over my target’s neck. Leaving him without breath. Seeing him like this wasn’t like with the others. I felt something. Something hurt.

“Finish him!” A very ugly voice called.

I looked at the man under me. His handsome face was turning a shade of blue. His eyes were bloodshot and his mouth was gaping, looking for air. My hand was keeping him from that air. All I had to do was move that hand. I could let him live. I could keep him from being in pain. I wanted to.

My hand loosened only slightly, and he took that opportunity. He used his weight to his advantaged and knocked me to the floor. He quickly pinned me and had my hands pinned with his legs like I had done. He was coughing, but all his senses were on keeping me pinned.

“Y/N. Please.” His voice was scratchy. “I know there is something left in you. Please.”

Bucky’s point of view.

She is still in there. I saw it. She let go. I know she did. I could get through to her. I could. “Baby. Don’t let this be you. Don’t be the winter soldier.” I pleaded. She squirmed under me, her eyes glazed over. “Doll, come on. I love you. Please.” I begged.

Y/N’s point of view.

“I love you.” I said, wrapping my arms around Bucky’s shoulders. He was flipping pancakes for us. “Why havent I ever said that before?” I asked, hopping up to the counter in front of him, blocking him from the pancake batter.

He shrugged. “Because you are an insensitive bitch.” He offered, making me laugh even harder. “Nah, I know you love me. You don’t have to say it.”

I shook my head and cupped his cheek with my hand. “But I want to say it. I want to say it all day long every day. I love you James Buchanan Barnes. You are my soldier.” I grinned ear to ear.

“And I love you Y/F/L/N. You are my best girl.” He said, putting the food stuff to the side and scooting up against me. His lips against mine sent chills down my spine.

Him on top of me sent chills down my spine. I hated being pinned, but something about right now, it was almost nice. I stopped fighting. I let him pin me.

“Y/N, baby. Listen to me. Whatever is going on in your head, you can end it.” The man’s voice finally reached me. “Come back to me. I love you. I need you. Come back to me baby.”

What is going on in my head. My target was right on top of me and I was just letting him be. I was just laying there. “Kill him!” My Commander’s voice found my ears.

Only I didn’t want to kill him.

Instead I smiled. My eyes met Bucky’s and I remembered just how much I loved him. “I love you too.” I said.

Bucky’s point of view.

“I love you too.” She recognized me. I let out a shaky breath. “Doll. You came back to me.” He said.

She scoffed. “I couldn’t stay away.” She said, leaning up and putting her lips on mine.

“NO! NO NO NO NO NO!” The german man’s voice pierced our moment.

I stood and glared at him. “You are so fucking dead.”