#Immediate Reports

[super-health-services]

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[professorcalculusstanaccount]

I can't lie, the thought of Tintin living long enough to experience the absolute insanity that was the 80's-90's (in regards to fashion and pop culture) absolutely tickles me. I can't decide if he'd love or hate Indiana Jones but I bet he would have THOUGHTS.

tintin has a bad habit of talking in the cinema

[gonnadosomethingwmylife]

do y’all remember the criminal minds episode where the team had to go to a sexual harassment seminar mostly because of how derek and penelope talk to each other? Suits could’ve done something really funny.

I just want a normal person overhearing harvey call his associate a good boy or any one of their weird as fuck conversations and being like what the FUCK dude and reporting it,,,mikes embarrassed bc he doesn’t MIND and he gives it right back in his own way but everyone sitting at this seminar clearly aimed at harvey at mike,,,i think it would be really funny

[sergle]

remembering waking up post-op after my breast reduction is SO FUNNY because it's such a wild thing to have a Fond Memory of. but I distinctly remember croaking "hell yessss" to my surgeon after he told me I was done and everything went great.

[sketchbot9000]

Footage from the Gravitational Anomy Incident is unrecoverable, and all hard copies must be destroyed to avoid investigation interference.

[moredifferentthanusual]

are meet and greets still on? are they still touring? has anyone had them sign this yet?

[spookberry]

oops been a while since (part 3) of this au

[bargarean]

i still can't believe morph was assigned goo at birth and literally said that they preferred their neutral form but took an average human shape in public not because they were ashamed of who they were but because it was just easier and less awkward that way. and it took until this year for them to be portrayed as nonbinary

[aquareegia]

Sorry to bring up drama but I feel like this is entering criminal territory and should be addressed. Apparently someone dug out birth certificates of the vessels and wanted to arrange for someone to stalk them and also found out personal information and contacts from not only the members but also their families and partners. And apparently they have intimate pictures they threatened to post. That is so fucked up on so many levels. There are real human beings behind those masks and personas for fucks sake. This goes beyond just posting their names and/or faces and I'm actually at a loss for words tbh...

[cementcornfield]

Some of Tee and Ja'Marr's thoughts on the Tee Situation

Tee said to me 'right now I get to play with one of the, if not the, best quarterbacks in the game, I get to play with one of, if not the, best wide receivers in the game, that opens up so much more for me.' And then he said 'this offense is designed for so many different players to be spotlighted, the way that I am used in this offense so plays to my strengths.' And then he said to me, 'can you guarantee I can have that exact situation anywhere else?'

....

So do I think he's taking a home discount? No. But I do think that he is very very smart, he sees the whole picture out there...

....

It's very easy to compare this situation to what Ja'Marr had at LSU with Joe Burrow and Justin Jefferson. And Ja'Marr has said Tee is very different than Justin Jefferson. That every single minute with Justin Jefferson was a competition. That everything was who makes the more dynamic catch, who has more catches in practice, who runs faster? Everything was that way. Ja'Marr had to speak up and demand the ball a lot at LSU, because so was Justin. Ja'Marr told me that he doesn't have to do that in Cincinnati because Tee, and this is a quote from Ja'Marr, is one of the most unselfish humans you'll ever meet.

[sea-changed]

"For what they are worth, or for what they may recapture, here they are, period pieces, fairy tales, half-meaningless memories of a time and of attitudes which have gone forever from the world, a sad and jocular recording of a little part of a war I saw and do not believe, unreal with trumped-up pageantry, so that it stands in the mind like the battle pictures of Crécy and Bunker Hill and Gettysburg. And, although all war is a symptom of man's failure as a thinking animal, still there was in these memory-wars some gallantry, some bravery, some kindliness."

John Steinbeck, in the 1958 introduction to his collected 1943 World War II reportage Once There Was a War

[the-path-to-redemption]

Content Warnings: Suicide Baiting, Misinformation, Mention of CSEM, Incest and Pedophilia

A simple search would also show you that proship has always been about no censorship over fictional content and anti-harassment.

A simple search would also show you that dark topics portrayed in a fictional light is in no way comparable to CSEM or other abusive and exploitative contents.

It's also fucking common sense to not engage with things on the internet that makes you uncomfortable instead of bitching to a bunch of strangers that you cannot differentiate reality from fiction, you stupid fucking cunt.

A simple thing to comprehend is that you do not tell people to fucking kill themselves. I don't care what the reason is, you're a piece of fucking trash for doing so. That is a LIFE you're fucking with, someone's WELL-BEING.

The same fucking thing you're claiming proshippers are constantly jeopardizing.

And the nerve to post this in the tag that you hate. You're a miserable human being, and I hope you learn to be better before the people in your life realized what a sick fuck you are. You and the idiots like you.

Grow a fucking conscience.

[mercuriallworld]

#GoWatchGolfOrSomething

edit: there are several players within the W that are nonbinary or otherwise genderqueer don’t bring that terf bullshit around here

[toxooz]

naw whos the crusty ass bitch who thinks its cute to take my ocs cause what is this

[saleeba]

comforting jules in these hard times :(( (with a bj ;))

summary ♡ what the request says! 

pairing ♡ jules koundé x gn!reader

content ♡ 18+, smut, blowjob, (untranslated) french terms of endearment, religious undertones for some reason, not proofread, hopefully quite lovey-dovey idek this was so rushed 😭

a/n ♡ hiiii my first little snippet!! these are generally going to be short ask-based fics that are one scene/one action + i hope to share more with u guys! :D tysmmm anon for this request i hope it lives up to ur expectations!!

the copious amount of condescending headlines about his football club was creating a frenzied commotion in the world of spanish sports media and jules found it difficult to dull the noise. add on top the emotional stress of his manager’s departure from the club and it was enough to make a boy like him break into a million pieces. 

yet you were like his superglue. you held him together with the mere thought of your presence in his mind and the nights spent tangled between the sheets and gasping promises of forever grounded jules to the best version of reality for him.

this night was no different, you trying your best to make it all about him (not that it was hard — you were practically devoted to the boy) after he came home close to tears, the burdensome weight of work troubles proving heavy on his shoulders. he was never one to let his professional life trespass into his personal one but you made it clear from day one that you were both a team and that yes, it may be “his problem”  but you were both going to jump over those hurdles hand-in-hand.

and the first approach in which you consoled him was with the help of your lips on his bare, sweaty skin, not sure if the subtle dampness was from a session in training or the way his skin always warmed up to the feeling of your mouth; the feeling of familiarity and of what just felt right. 

“please don't tease tonight, baby,” jules whispered in a tone close to begging, body writhing on the couch, his voice desperate for that same familiarity to save him from losing himself in the uncertainty that had tainted the past few days.

“not even thinking about it, jules,” you tongued at his abdomen on your way down to the waist of his shorts, fingers running inside the elastic band and skimming the part where he needed you the most. “wanna take good care of you tonight.”

a blissful sigh escaped from the parting of jules’ lips as you peeled the material off of him and cast it aside, the only thing left between you and his pure form being the pesky boxers that constrained his cock. not wanting to rush the events of the night, you go to mouth kisses on the imprint and the damn thing twitches, tip jerking ever so slightly as it leaks pre-cum onto the black cotton softness. 

“what was that about not even thinking about teasing, chérie?” he whined, hips raising in demand for you to do both of you a favour and free him from the restriction.

“i’m sorry, baby… can’t help myself, it looks so pretty like that,” you put on your best, prettiest pout and ran your fingertips down his length. “promise i’ll be good for you now.”

you finally granted him freedom and the way you quickly pulled down the set of underwear had the two of you so eager, your lips immediately came to wrap around half of his cock, the engulfing feeling sending jules’ mind into what he considered a premature frenzy. 

“s-slow down, baby,” he stuttered, hands gripping onto the sides of your head to pull you back to his tip where you suckled like a woman parched, unable to allow yourself to let him go completely. jules was addictive in every sense and the way his dick slid down your throat was even more so. you’d burned every part of him into your mind, making sure it was all unforgettable, all something you could never tire of.

“mm-hmm.” your response was muffled as you effectively ignored your boyfriend’s pleas, mouth taking more of him in, back and forth on repeat as the stiffness slid down your throat. it wasn’t an easy feat since the thickness of jules’ cock was siding on the extraordinary but your mouth was drenched, spit running down your chin and over the skin of your chest as the movement of your head over him became much more rapid.

jules was near to bursting, fingers gripping onto the leather of the sofa as he couldn't help but push his hips further towards you which only brought his dick further into your mouth, the weeping head barging at the opening of your throat. he wanted to grip your head in his hands – as leverage, as control, as a means to get as close to you as possible – but was scared to do so due of his iron-strong hold and the way your tongue traced that one vein on the underside of his dick, oh god, it was heaven—no, it was beyond that. you were his salvation, his saving grace, his angel come to earth; you were so, so good to him and he didn’t think he deserved you. but you were always there to shoot that idea down; it was always a collaboration with the two of you, you were always equals and you were always going to be. 

“i‘m gonna cum, mon ange,” your raven-haired lover whined, back arching as you continued your assault on his sensitive dick, lips reaching all the way to his pubic bone as his balls slapped against your chin with force, head motioning up and down, down and up, any which way to make jules flood your throat with that subtly-salty fluid. “oh my god, baby, please, please.” 

there was no way you were relenting now, the sounds coming from jules only giving you the motivation to bring your hands to his thighs and push your tongue out, his cock still in your mouth, aiming to caress it with the wet muscle and rip his orgasm from him in a matter of milliseconds. 

and that’s exactly what you achieved; a myriad of sweet moans from your boyfriend as he came down your throat, the mixture of clear spittle and milky-white cum threatening to spill out from your filled mouth but you drank it all up with his dick still between your lips, even managing to swallow as you moved back so that only the tip remained wrapped with the swollenness of them. 

“was that good?” you asked sincerely once you had pulled off of his softening length and stood up before pressing the most tender of kisses to his lips which parted in sheer satisfied exhaustion. 

“good? it was more than that, baby, fuck,” he let out a breathless laugh, grabbing your face to pull your mouth to his once again, the motion more hungry than before. “you make me forget about all that’s wrong, my love, thank you, thank you…” 

you couldn’t help but let out a giggle and an aww, a promise of always being there to take care of him on your lips and he was more than appreciative.

“let me take care of you now, bébé. my girl deserves it. please?”

[moonshynecybin]

thinking about forced coming out au… you two were so smart for that honestly

THANK U today i am thinking about them in the current motogp climate.... with marc goin against pecco post-arm nightmare and vale kinda having to juggle that. cuz i DO think in this universe that theyve done a lot of work to present themselves as a unit and subsume their egos/accomplishments into one another by this point (in this universe theyve been together EIGHT YEARS.... PUBLICLY... so its very if i win you win and vice versa etc. power couple.), BUT theres a very sort of. direct temptation for vale here wrt to a protege stepping to marc like this. and the desire to see marc succeed (and come back from injury.... which truly i think that entire period with marc miserable and in the hospital and then the diplopia re-occurrence scared him SO bad. and marc is finally smiling again, but a BIG part of vale would be at peace if he never saw him swing a leg over a motorcycle again. now will he tell him this. NO. marc owuld not listen lmao) IS kinda warring with seeing marc do crimes against his little babies. all that anxiety about safety multiplied on both sides of the equation. and the press is asking for his take about their battles eighteen times a day cuz hes skulking around the paddock haunting marc's every step like some sort of victorian ghost. so hes maybe a lil tense a lil distant... still there to blow marc's back out but hes working through some valentino-style marc neuroses as he often is, so its. odd. not a rough patch, but vale likes having a hand on the scale and anywhere he places it now feels like a bit of a betrayal so its COMPLEX...

and then with MARC. lmao. like okay pecco and marc WOULD know each other a lot better here just like ranch-wise, but is marc letting literally anyone get in the way of a championship bid ever NOOOOOOOO. and suddenly pecco (used to the somewhat friendly criminal shenanigans of the ranch) has marc divebombing him off the line every weekend in a grand prix for realsies and is like AHHHHHHHH and then they climb off of their bikes in parc ferme and marc is like hi :) and then lopes over to pecco's section to high five gigi and smooch vale