#Im so tired . I want to go home
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damn i feel unwell again...
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csp is beating my ass, anyway heres sanik
#im overwhelmeddd dfvdsfbfsdgrgrgr#sonic the hedgehog#art#digital art#i odnt know how to do this blending thing but ill try to figure it out#rn i need to go back home to ps so i dont get too tired fdeffgsdgddgbd#but yayyy i can import my brushes!!#no full screen still hurts#you want me to pay 200 zł for no full screen? girl?
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Thinks about my next series again... I drew the icon for it!
I'm planning to have it launched within a year! I'm hoping for summer 2025. I want to make a prelaunch page before Time and Time Again ends so people can subscribe if they're interested, but I'm worried the series return would be too early...
#SORRY HAHAHA REPOSTING IMMEDIATELY#i. it. IM SORRY okay the.#i had 'im not interested in the comic' as an option but it immediately made me feel bad#DONT FEEL BAD IF YOU PICKED IT i put it there#i just realized its not really a helpful metric to me at all!#im making the comic either way!#so i just want to gague interest. disinterest doesnt do much for me. you can come and go as you please!#just wanting to retain readers as much as possible but without losing them due to taking too long#ahhhh the balance of marketing. a beautiful beast she is.#anyways yeah hoping to launch like about as tta is ending#or like at LEAST a prelaunch page by then#im also not intending for the prelaunch page to be like. announced...#moreso just a link i append on art for the series!#just so when a drawing of zagan gets 500 notes#people who are interested in what hes from can. see that...#anyways. sorry i haven't been posting work is wild im going 70+ hours a week again i am so tired#not much time to draw non work stuff#im hanging on by a thread of having multiple projects i can bounce between again#and sometimes thats this one! so heres the results of some mental health work variety#we were legion#polls#sorry for the instant repost. in my defense. i am exhausted.#i can not wait until im making a different comic that i can do a fucking. normal ass schedule with#where im not every week gasping for breath in some kind of bad at swimming metaphor.#anyways if youre not interested dont tell me. it doesnt matter to me. no offense but i just dont wanna hear it.#i want to make the comic and my audience as much as i love you all is not going to have any control over what i do with my art#im gonna make this comic if i only get it done on weekends after getting home from the fuckin movie theater#i am not working for webtoon again wnd im not forcing myself into the dirt for comics again#but im also never gonna stop making them. just need to build a healthier relationship!#FUCK I MADE IT A ONE DAY POLL.
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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.
#jrwi show#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying#nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess#ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so#i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair#both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home#but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again#not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO#i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED#all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis#but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum#and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it#youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes#BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply
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"Angry robin" "violent robin" "misbehaving robin" shut up and accept my alternative; spunky Robin. Determined and head strong, can out-stubborn the Batman, has a strong moral-backbone and does what he thinks is right regardless of what anybody else says, Robin. Jason who was sassy and quippy and made crude jokes with a smile on his face. Jason who hid in Bruce's cape and whispered gossip to him. Jason who, if Bruce refused him something, could keep bothering endlessly until Bruce caved. And also dramatic Jason. If Bruce tells him no, it becomes a whole theatrical show; a monologue, a narration, embellishments, and falling onto the floor in his grief upon the fact his cruel father has denied him once again.
(Jason who has suffered through abuse and homelessness and poverty and starvation, who is the Fight out of Fight or Flight, who's built up defenses and walls and when pushed and triggered responds with the thing that's always protected him; anger. He's sweet and kind and funny, and when he sees a pimp hitting a prostitute he gets furious and responds with violence.)
#my dc posting#dc#jason todd#jaybin#im having so many thoughts abt jaybin and he is so important to me#in one fic he went on a hunger strike bc alfred didnt eat w them and did it for so long they had to compromise#i love a jaybin 100% willing to menace and bother batman until the man folds. as is his right#the thing abt jason's backstory is that it shows him unwilling to suffer for a home#ma gunn's is bad; he gets beat up and she tries to get him to help rob a place. so he leaves! and rats the whole thing out to batman#and shows up himself cus he didnt think he had been believed#and lets not forget the fact he hit batman with a tire iron and called him a 'big boob'!#the boy's got moxie!! let jaybin be crass and angry and sassy and flawed and traumatized without reducing him to 2d caricature of a 'troubl#d kid'#i dont like a jason who did nothing but use excessive violence and disobey orders and be cocky and all that shit#i like a jason who was. oh yknow. a complex person!! a child/teen who has been fucking abused!!!#you shouldnt erase the fact that jason's reaction/response to stressful situations and triggers IS anger#it's not an indication that he was always gonna become a criminal/red hood or whatever. get outta here w that shit#but like. let us not go so far in the other direction we forget to have him react and be affected by the abuse he's suffered#anyway. if anyone should be a drama-queen it should be jaybin. once he becomes truly comfortable w bruce he should dial it up to 11#a lot of red hood's appeal (to me&many others) is that he is an 'imperfect' victim. meaning he is angry and flawed and doesnt suffer quietl#but is loud and obvious abt it#so when i see jaybin written as the opposite its like. man whats that about#anyway. jaybin is good and cares and wants to help and protect people. and by god if i ever see anybody writing#him having arguments with bruce about the no kill rule WHILE robin again im gonna throw hands istg-#my tags are like a hidden treasure box. most of what i say is in here lmao
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fck stop begging for comments on here all the damn time. i did like u as a writer but its getting so pathetic and annoying now jus begging constantly. Ur writing isn't that good for getting tonnes of comments anyway half the time Ur dragging plots and characters r so uninteresting probs coz Ur on here begging instead of writing properly. every update feels rushed lately it shows u don't even care anymore. just stop begging and focus on updating instead that's all pppl want
Hey anon, I normally don't respond to rude asks like these because I think what you want is the attention.
I especially don't usually respond to asks that have, in any way, anything to do with begging or demanding I update my fics (and I have seen an uptick in those in recent months) but I'm gonna respond to this one, and by proxy, all the others currently sitting unread in my inbox, and any future asks of this nature that may come my way.
Buckle in, this is a long one.
First, I'm going to assume by 'begging for comments' you mean the few posts I have been reblogging over the past couple of days that encourage readers on AO3 to engage with authors by leaving positive and thoughtful comments, and discouraging them from making unreasonable and impersonal demands. If this is the case then I would like to clarify that I am not 'begging for comments', rather I am supporting a community of writers like myself who are actual human beings who take several hours, days, even weeks, out of our very real lives in order to make something and share it with the world and for some reason are beginning to see a trend of entitlement slowly growing across our comment sections. A trend we wish to nip in the bud because, as I previously pointed out, fanfiction authors are real life human beings, taking time out of their days to make something, not machines on a factory line that churn out content at the behest of someone's demands. We want our fandoms and communities to be safe, supportive spaces where we can have fun. We don't want them to become workloads that begin to feel like full time jobs.
Secondly, to say my writing isn't all that good but in the same message tell me to update? Wild my guy. Truly. But let's keep breaking down AO3 comments/kudos/general feedback (such as this delightful ask you sent my way, I guess hoping it would make me want to update??) from readers and how this can affect an authors updates, this time using one of my favourite metaphors for this type of thing and see if it helps:
AO3 is a potluck. It's a backyard party. There is a veritable buffet at this party. My fic is the cake I baked myself to bring for all my friends to eat. One of my other friends brought potato salad. Another friend brought the punch. Everyone who is at this fun get-together brought something to offer at the buffet table.
Now, I might not like potato salad, but you know what I'm not going to do? Tell my friend to her face that her potato salad sucks and she never should have brought it. I'm going to politely pass on eating it, and be glad that all the people at the party who do like potato salad have something to eat. In the same vein, not everyone is going to like my cake, maybe the flavour is wrong, maybe I used too much icing, maybe they just don't like cake. But that's fine, they don't have to eat my cake. But if you choose to eat my cake, and find you don't like the flavour after taking a bite, then the polite thing to do is quietly stop eating the cake, and go and find something else to eat.
Do not seek me out and tell me to my face everything that was wrong with my cake, and why you don't enjoy it. Do not tell me to my face, that my cake sucks and you wish I'd never brought it.
Do you think telling someone that you hate the way they made a cake is a good and productive way to get them to keep making cakes for you? Or perhaps, is the way to keep an amateur baker wanting to bake, to tell them what you enjoyed about their cake. Even a simple, 'I really liked this cake' goes a long way.
And if you do like my cake, if you love my cake actually, do not then follow me home from the party and start demanding I make you cake all the time. I don't always have time to make cakes.
And just to cover all of my bases, because I am also seeing a trend of folk who think that sharing fanfiction online is the same as submitting manuscripts to publishers and that therefore criticism is allowed. It's not.
To continue to beat this cake metaphor. This is the difference between taking my cake to a party with friends (AO3) and taking my cake onto the Great British Bake off (A professional publishing environment).
If I wanted constructive criticism on my cake, I'd seek it out from expert bakers who know what they're talking about.
No one goes to a friend's party with a cake they made and wants to hear what they're doing wrong. Unless explicitly asked, keep your criticisms to yourself and put the cake down if you don't like it. It's so very easy to not eat a cake if you hate how it tastes.
Finally, a combination of both the points above, really, but I cannot stress this enough. These usernames you're sending anonymous asks to? The handles on AO3 you're writing comments for? They're people. They are human fucking beings that deserve respect and kindness. I am a human being. And sending what you sent up there to another person over fanfiction?? That's just mean, friend. That's just out and out cruelty. I have no other words to describe that.
I could give a flying fuck if you think I'm begging for comments. I could care less you wanna say my writing is terrible. At the end of the day, my writing is mine and I'm going to keep doing it because I find writing fun. It's a hobby that helps me de-stress from the horrors of my real life situations. Frankly, you should be begging me to stop because I have no plans to do anything but keep inflicting my drawn out plots and bad character writing on the world for as long as it keeps making me happy.
But I beg you to take a second off of social media today and think over what makes fandom- something that should be a hobby, a safe place to escape from the world- this serious for you. Because the kicker in all this? My friend, if you think what I post is annoying and my writing is bad, you can not see it. You can block me. You can click away from my stories. Your online space is yours to curate and no one, literally not a single person, is making you engage with things you don't want to engage with. Curate your space, fill it with people who aren't 'begging for comments', fill it with fics you think are really good and deserve to be told how good they are through wonderful comments. Please, I am begging you, because at the end of the day to live in such negativity must be so exhausting for you.
I've no idea if you, the original sender of this message will even read through all of this, but if you did, please, if not me, then any other fandom creators you come across going forward. Please treat them with kindness. Please respect that sometimes fandoms are spaces people hide in when their real lives are scary and frustrating and negative enough and all you do with messages like these is drive people away.
TL;DR: this is not the way you get more updates from fic authors, and further from that, it's not the way you treat anyone. Ever. Do better. Do much better.
#im sorry that was long but i needed to drive some points home lol#im so tired#let me enjoy my cake in peace for the love of god#go eat something else on the buffet table#ive no idea if that metaphor even makes sense the way i want it to but oh well#ask gin#gin speaks#gin fucking loses his mind on the tl#im going to log off now because its 3am#and i need to yell scream cry before i sleep
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boy who so does his homework
#im. so tired#i was lowkey hoping to get more done this weekend but. waugh#i said i'd cook dinner but i cooked lunch for everyone already and i need studio time.. and i dont think anyone even remembers but maybeeee#maybe like. i can get an hour in after work and then go home. waugh#i want to go lie down in the road#not suicidal style i just want to feel cold asphalt on my skin rn im so achey#work is fine im just. not doing anything so it's homework time for jude but only like. homework i don't have to make art about#i was originally going to make my project for my paper class way easier but i got a vision and now i am fucked im literally so fucked#i enjoy being a tutor but if im not. tutoring i just sorta sit here
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i wrote this as a joke because I wanted to strangle a guy watching tiktoks without headphones on the bus, but im genuinely disturbed that we've gotten to a point where convenience comes first. and it depresses me even more that its used to justify and monetize greed
#like we have so many ways of doing things that could help us in the long run but because we're told it requires more work we just cant#its too resource intensive. or maybe its too much to maintain. we have to overlook benefits so money can go into more important things#we teach each other to do things a certain way so it works for everyone but who was it convenient for first? what abt who it might hurt?#i have to wonder if the rules our current system uses is worth listening to or following if it doesnt have our best interests in mind. u an#me and the ppl around us.. would we be better off if i ate my meals knowing the person who grew it wanted to feed others the way they could#feed themselves? and that isnt to say we're going to be happy doing it but i guess satisfied that its helping someone instead of quietly#accepting that itll eventually go in the dumpster behind a grocery store because it stopped looking appetizing or it wasnt on sale anymore#what about building homes so we can shelter each other? what if we were satisfied with what we did because we knew it would be paid back#with kindness? isnt that what we evolved to do?? heal each others bones and tell stories and help each other??#why dont houses come with solar panels or generators unless we find a way to make people pay to use the sun? why is our pooled money used#to fund genocides instead of education and hospitals? whose interests and convenience came first when we started this??#i wont pretend to know the answer because i dont. but we all know we're miserable and im sorry to say that i cant see myself fighting#for a world that wont fight for me too. why do we work if we cant live from it?? why did they stop us from plucking more teeth from our#bosses until they could build more walls around themselves and then go back to underpaying us??#im so tired. i cant even imagine making it to age 70#yapping#vent
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Updating my donation post as it's been a few months. I'm still struggling with being homeless and I recently lost my health insurance (yayy turning 26!)
I've applied for section 8 at a local large city but that can take time. I'm also in the months long process of applying for SNAP/medicaid. I've also applied for financial assistance through my work to help me as well but I'm unsure of the turn around time or how much they can assist me.
Currently with the cost of rent in my local area the best option might be for me to renovate a free mobile home. However I need to move it to a lot/mobile home park with hookups and that can cost alot of money. The current estimate I got is around $8,000.
This doesn't include the lot rent per month or the cost of fixing the mobile home. But I do get to own the trailer after and can sell it once I have my feet under me again and ready to move.
I've been looking into so many different options but I'm struggling with finding something in my budget. Current income restricted housing is at a 1 to 2 year wait list. Others require a $48 per person application before you get to even see the apartment (for a one bedroom no less)
I've already made so many sacrifices during this year including not perusing fighting to get my cat back. Unfortunately with the way I can't find housing there wasn't a hope I could find housing and have it allow pets.
I've anyone has suggestions for finding roomates (that's not Facebook) or housing please feel free to message me
I'm also doing donation doodles for any donation over $10, give me a suggestion or prompt when you donate otherwise you get a bug art lol
#star's art#artist on tumblr#my art#mutual fund#Homeless#fundraising#Donation doodles#Kofi#artist on kofi#Housing help#Currently homeless and disabled and I don't have insurance so Im missing my doctor appointment and running out of my ptsd medicine#I'm working two jobs right now as best as I can#But I'm so tired and I just want to finally have a home#I miss my craftroom#I miss having my own personal space#I miss my garden#My cat#Oh ginger I miss you so much#You don't know why I left and never came back#I'm sorry I can't get you#I'm sorry he won#I didn't even get to go to pride this year cause it was fucking sold out and I was hoping to connect with the booths that would help me#I'm so so tired#I've been struggling for so long now#Average rent here is $800 for a one bedroom and over a $1000 for anything else#I've been priced out of where I've been living for over 13 years#And it's not like I can just get random roommates im fucking transgender like that's literally dangerous#I'm disabled and transgender and homeless with ptsd and I'm so tired#Universal basic income when
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This is your daily reminder to say "Fuck that job"! I have NEVER had issues leaving a job until this one. The amount of gaslighting is unmatched. The amount of sweating over tiny details is unheard of. The amount of stress they're putting me under should be studied, honestly.
The way I want to say, "Fuck you", every time a random person I have NEVER talked to tells me congrats and good luck and we're gonna miss you. No tf you arent. You fuckers made my life hell for 2 years.
Your job dont care about you 👏🏽 so dont care about it 👏🏽 you are there to collect a check and fuckin dip 👏🏽
#megaminds musings#the amount of times ive wanted to tear my hair out these past two weeks#ive never been so stressed in my life#todays my last day and they really getting on my nerves#i want to go home#i want to pet my puppies#i want to exist without the expectation to do something for someone else#where are the introvert jobs at#tired of being harassed because of how quiet i am#play ya mammy#not me#im quiet#not a pushover
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Raleigh's big baby eyes were not just big because of the dimly lit bathroom (I had a low light setting turned on), he appears to have some reduced pupillary response. He's otherwise totally normal and he CAN see, so I'm not overly worried he needs attention for it right now, but it is concerning, so I will be calling the vet to see if they can work him in sometime in the next few days. I took a look at some recent pictures and it seems to have been going on for maybe a week and I just didn't really notice because there's so little light in this house.
I'm tired. Everything is vet visits and doctor's appointments and managing my symptoms and bothering clinics and the pharmacy and new things going wrong everywhere, and I still need to call my GP to make a telehealth appointment so he can refer me for ANOTHER appointment, after which I can have a THIRD appointment with the GP to discuss test results and see what fresh new hell THAT unleashes.
I really wanted to go to the local orchard's summer festival but there's so much going on that week so close together that I'm not going to feel up to it. And it'll be too hot anyway. I can't tolerate heat or sun anymore, thanks COVID.
Ugh.
#im afraid about a thing i have going on that they randomly found during an unrelated cardio scan in January#i don't think it's bad-bad as the doctor said we could just wait and see if it's still there or whatever in six months#but like if it WANTED to be bad-bad this would be a shitty and therefore likely time to do it#and id have dealt with it by now but other clinics wouldn't fucking let me do telehealth and those appointments were for MEDS#so i can't just not have them when the only other time is three months from now#i hate the way our system works and i hate the gatekeeping and the pointless repetitive meaningless appointments#that could be 5 minute phone calls or even totally avoided if they just answered the actual question i asked#I'm so so tired and i want to go home
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Brain won't be quiet tonight/neg
Anyone have any distractions please?
#i was literally fine#up until the moment i was about to fall asleep#then my brain decided to pull up all the issues i have with my mom again#im so tired of college but im terrified of the semester ending#because that means i have to go back home#i have nowhere else to go#but i literally want to be anywhere else#i dont want to be around her#im so tired of hurting#im so tired of hating her#im so tired#l3o vents
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Too many members of my family are total pieces of shit and they looove sitting around together and talking about how cool they are, how much they like each other and how their kids don't want to talk to them anymore
#goddd im so fucking tired of them#i want to have a nice day but it's impossible cause these bitches come here constantly#get outtaa hereeee#nobody fucking likes youuu!!!!!#they are literally just so mean and rude to me and my cousin#like they do deserve to get pumched by me imo but I can't do it cause I'll get kicked out#and I don't wanna go home yet lmfao#but can they go fuck themselves pllleaaassseee???? 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i hate them soooo much 🥺🥺🥺👉👈
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quite literally nothing happening at work today so im going to dump some doodles on yall
#homestuck#kanaya maryam#rose lalonde#tavros nitram#vriska serket#uh theres a few others um#terezi pyrope#jade harley#gamzee makara but hes rly tiny#art#im so tired i want to go home and draw fr now
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the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something
#WHAT AM I DOING!!!!#i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch#too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun#no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point#trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this#WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!!#there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time#my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me#my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job#i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time#i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again#and WHAT DO I WANT!#THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY!#I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!#anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed#delete later#i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious)#versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected)#i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want#ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you#i miss that i want that back#whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go
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@theknifeclown
#welcome home#welcome home project#welcome home oc#Gordy Rose#Terrin Rose#freddie & georgie#sketch#OOOH when you want to draw more but burnout goes “No.”#Terrin is so snazzy lookin'#I really love Terrin's design. Its very aesthetically pleasing to me for some reason.#Im very tired and im going to sleep...
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