#Im going through the stuff I wrote this year
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was spiralling for a bit again so am forcing myself to remember that it gets better and you get better and all the people i watch are over thirty years old and you will get better at your craft over the years and you will be excited to age and find out what the next year brings. you will be excited to grow old and grow plants and make shitty doodles and learn sculpting woodworking and you will be bad at it but you will get better. you will look back and thank yourself for trying so sincerely. the time will pass anyway. in the future it gets better.
#for reference. i graduated from uni and kinda going through it#i guess i am a nostalgic person bc i do treasure all the things i wrote⊠even the bad stuff i wrote when i was 9 lmao#i wish i had that audacity again#gods know what im doing one year from now. i hope ill write something ill like#ive been grilling myself to do more serious writing but my brain is like đ„ș thatâs boring. whereâs your whimsy!!!#i will be whimsy and write crackfics and spend too much time on tweetgen đđ#ria.txt#personal
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just went through all my ao3 fics and edited all the tags because i feel like i overtag a lot and it always bothered me. tbf the most overtagging happens in my relationship/character tags but i find it super difficult to judge who/which relationship is important. like friendships are So Important in my fics i dont feel like i cant tag less there? especially my longer fics. amtc james&sirius and black brothers are in my mind at least if not more important than literally amtc jegulus. i know its a jegulus fic but also jegulus is just the catalyst for other relationship dynamics. how do you tag that stuff
#honestly same with operation wanker#i finally put the wolfstar tag at the end of the relationship list#because genuinely when i first wrote the fic i debated leaving that out completely because i just do not focus on them At All#but considering theyre the very reason for the whole fic i couldnt not tag them#but james and sirius in operation wanker are as important to me as jegulus#and they go through a similar plot line of developing and changing so ?? yk???#idk how to tag i am really bad at it honestly#as you can tell i have exam season#hence me doing anything but the things i should be doing#hp#fic rant#i need a tag for general ramblings#i did take out a lot of character tags in a lot of my fics#like in some of them i literally now have a relationship tag but not the character tag which im also still not sure at#like on lies and spies still has the peter&marlene tag but it doesnt have a marlene tag anymore#and im still debating if i should also take the relationship tag out but also its important for peters actions??? idkkk man i am bad at thi#took out a lot of tags from amtc because i just felt it was too long overall#like i do think they were not completely unimportant but it was such a wall of text i felt a bit overwhelmed#tagging fics where its literally just 2 characters and theyre romantically/sexually involved is so much easier#like on high delight the tags make perfect sense because its very obvious what the focus is on#but i so seldomly write fics that are confined to just a ship (/) dynamic#maybe this is my arospec that ive been eyeing for the past 10 years and keep ignoring showing#i just care about writing relationships (&) so much more honestly#ok thats actually a lie im not tooo good with just platonic fics but i like writing romantic stuff in the context of friendgroups#i like characters having to keep secrets from the people they usually tell evrything to#love exploring characters finding out they have friendship boundaries they previously didnt know about#love writing about trust and and conflicting feelings and having to make choices#also lmao very iconic of me to have 5km of tags on a post of me saying i am prone to overtagging. really proving my own point here
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I'm tired of dreaming about my dad. I know it's part of processing, but I am just so tired.
#speculation nation#negative/#sometimes theyre nice dreams where i have him back. except i still wake up sad.#sometimes theyre dreams where im trying to prevent what i know is going to come. but without fail i wake up. and he's already dead.#and then there are dreams like the one i just woke up from. where i know he's dead and im feeling the full force of grief once again#bawling and bawling in-dream. with enough force that it wakes me up.#and of course. i wake up sad from these too.#it makes me think about that passage i wrote for ITNL. well over a year ago. before the Year Of Death even began.#where i wrote about vash dreaming of wolfwood. with a similar sort of vibe to this.#i wrote that inspired by the death of my grandma. who i was close with and greatly troubled by her death.#even that had nothing on my dad though. no loss has ever felt this severe before.#it's been 5 months and sometimes i feel okay. but then i feel the ache deep in my chest again#and i know im never going to be fully free from this pain.#i want to go back to the person i was before i lost my dad. to before i lost my uncle.#i want to go back to early may of last year. where life seemed hopeful and i was minimally touched by death.#only 2 deaths from people close to me. 3 deaths if you count my childhood cat.#now im up to 5 deaths of people who were close to me. and 7 if you count my sweet baby boys.#can you believe that? 4 deaths ive grieved in the past year (and a bit). 2 more deaths of ppl i knew but wasnt close to.#and 2 of them were so genuinely life-altering that they changed me as a person. my uncle and then my dad.#i still dont know who i am now. i feel so lost. i look out at the piles of boxes of my dad's stuff and i feel so overwhelmed.#im supposed to go through them. i havent touched them in months. i dont know how to even begin.#and so i try my best to keep up with my cleaning and my schoolwork. it's about all that i can manage
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i think the thing that makes me most powerful as an artist is the fact that i have kept copies in some form or another of almost everything i have made since i started and thus whenever the imposter syndrome is hitting i can look at the literal piles of sketchbooks and notebooks and binders i keep the physical copies of my work in and go oh yeah. ive been working at this for like ten years. and then it just goes away.
anyway i absolutely recommend this as a strategy no matter how cringey it might seem keeping visual evidence of skill progression is an incredible tool against imposter syndrome. voice in your head can't tell you you're faking your skills if you can pull out a literal record of your skill growth against it
#even digital stuff like.#keep a file on a physical drive with your shit on it. back it up every once in a while.#google docs is fine but nothing quite beats digging through your files on your laptop and finding something you wrote five years ago#that's maybe not as technically sound as what you can do *now* but still isn't like bad.#legitimately i found a notebook while cleaning last month that was just like.#half of a novel. handwritten in this little composition notebook.#was it *good?* eh! but im also looking at that after yeah like five or six YEARS of practice#and that even beats finding stuff i wrote. like. Actually Legitimately Ten Years Ago#always makes me sad to see younger artists than me declaring theyre gonna delete their stuff cause its embarrassing or cringey#like. ok so what i spent a full two years drawing bad undertale comics with every panel on a new piece of paper.#im going to keep them until i have no choice but to get rid of them which will likely be when *i* die and not a moment before#reminder i need to back up my stuff . wheres my hard drive for that.
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I hope my sophomore year English teacher is still out there by the time I get my first book published... I already have the dedication written out in my head
#the fool speaks#i never stopped writing about spaceships mr (redacted)#granted he would not recognize my name.... but its the thought that counts#he was awesome actually.... wish i wasnt going through hell that year and also was a bit smarter than i was back then...#actually might cry thinking about this because truly we didnt get to interact much...#because i was out of school due to a lot of things...#but each day we had a writing prompt and we were allowed to write anything as long as it related. most people did essays#but im a creative writer... so i wrote about my ocs and stuff. so sometimes he poked fun at it#and when i turned in the assignment i got to make up for all the missed classes he said never to stop writing#i never got a lot of encouragement for what i did. and i tend to be a very private person with my creations#so that little statement stuck with me forever.#it was one of the worst years of my life probably...even though it was before covid
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I honstely need a new Tattoo on my wrist that just says "youre so sexy and brave for going through all this bs girl"
#Im facing the Horrors and i keep marching forward#The Horrors in question are Thermodynamik 2 and BWL#Also Elektrontechnik. But that is like a little gremlin#I have this Semester and the next one left and then IM DONE#I already wrote my Resignation letter bc i cant take my coworkers anymore#They add so much unnecessary Stress to my life and negativity#I cant take it anymore but i have this contract until my BA ends#And then ill be gone#I want to go back to NYC so Bad. That was the Best time this year. My brother and i had so much fun.#Anyway Yeah im too scattere brained and stressed to Post#I wanted to Set up a queue but idk#Ill be back. Im having my quartely life-Crisis and Stress induced sleep Problems#Some Personal stuff with my family also brought me down a lot#And i try my Best to Support my mom through it all. But there are only 24h in a Day.#Next friday is exam day and hopefully#I will chill the fuck out afterwards#Lu labert#And everyone Else is also very sexy and brave for going through this Bs xoxo
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ME AGAIN!!! WITH A SAL X READER REQUEST (again) THIS TIME AIDJSJDH. a porn one at that !!!!
i need sal so bad its an actual problem
just like. imagine reader n the gang r havin a little sleepover. and reader is just so inconsolably turned on for some reason (maybe sal had his hand on their thigh when they watched a movie or smthin), so when everyone is asleep they asks sal to help them out :,,,) (his fingers r just so long n pretty,, they cant help but want them lol)
mayb he has to keep them quiet somehow, mayb covers their mouth/puts his fingers in their mouth to muffle them
hes so shy and nervous and awkward but heâs having the time of his life, watching the readerâs reactions. mayb he cant help but get himself off too, too enraptured by the way reader struggles to gasp and whine against his fingers
GOD DAMN.
would love if u wrote this mootie đ«¶đŒđ«¶đŒ no pressure ofc ofc ofc !! (fem bodied reader pls if u dont mind <3!)
(i might write this too, i love my mind sometimes đ)
hey mootie!! Im giving you the fast pass because all the jjk stuff you repost got me into the series and Iâm loving it, also cus youâre AMAZING! All characters are aged 20+ because this is based in chapter five of course, please do enjoy! :) (and for everyone waiting for their Hazbin requests to be filled - IT IS COMING! I am a busy woman.)Â
Needy - Sal Fisher X Fem!Reader
words : 2k, warnings : SPICAYYYY!!, creampie, fingering, slightly public, needy!sal AND needy!reader, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it guys, câmon), hold the moan trope
The entire gang had been having more sleepovers ever since Sal and Todd had found the new house. Larry was moving in so it was just the normal next step, and you loved coming over so much. More specifically to spend time with your boyfriend, but also just to feel like old times again. Even Ash came from the city every once and a while, and this was one of those days.
Since it was Larryâs last day living in the Apartments, you had all agreed to made the most out of that small basement apartment you had spent so much of your awkward teen years in. You had been doing all the same shit you used to all day - smoking in the treehouse, playing card games for hours.Â
You and Sal huddled up around his old gamebuddy, playing the games Larry had kept long forgotten in the corners of his room, Larry and Ash painting on a shared canvas, chatting about life while Larryâs old metal mixtapes blasted in the background, and Todd and Neil cuddled up on the beanbag in the corner, occasionally joining in their conversation, but mostly just cuddled up and enjoying each others company. All of this was wonderful, nostalgic - even healing.Â
That was all up until Sal quietly suggested you all watched an old horror movie, and you were all huddled together in the dark, you with Sal leaning on your shoulder on your right, and Ash on your left, giggling and nudging you like old times. Larry laid out casually on the floor in front of you all because of how shit his eyes were from years of refusing glasses. Which shouldâve been fine.
In fact - it was fine. Until Sal decided it would be a wonderful idea to put his hand on your thigh. Your bare thigh, just below where your miniskirt started. And even that - even that, you couldâve survived with some unwanted heat in your panties. But no, the blue fucker jumped at one of the scenes, hand sliding up the inside of your thigh to accidentally drag your skirt up, his hand knocking against your warm core - hand rubbing up against your clothed clit as he pulled his hand away, and all you could do was pull your hand away from where it was sweetly brushing through Ashleyâs hair like you used to do, straight to your face to hide the unbelievably needy whine you wouldâve let out.
âyou okay?â Ashley whispers softly, looking over to you and you just nod quickly, watching her go back to watching the movie before shooting Sal a venomous glance, which he avoids nervously, already feeling your stare of death shoot through the side of his head. You pierced your lips together, putting one leg over the other and squeezing your thighs firmly shut, Salâs hand now comfortably resting much, much lower on your thigh. Practically on your calve, as he preferred not to die tonight.Â
But thatâs when it started, the unwanted slick already gently collecting in your panties, your mind running through all the things you wanted to do to him - what you wanted him to do to you. God, your mind was like a dog in heat. You couldnât even bear to focus on the movie, sitting there, cautiously eyeing up your dead silent boyfriend. His shirt ridden up his stomach just oh-so-slightly from the way he was slouched back, soft happy trail of blue peeking out from under his shirt. God, what you would do to pull those stupid red torn up jeans down - not even fully - and ride him until he was shooting blanks and sobbing under you.Â
That is how it went on for the rest of the movie. That is exactly how it went on when you all decided the sleeping plan. That is where your mind still was when you and Sal decided to take the pullout couch, Todd and Neil in Lisaâs old room, and Larry sleeping on his bed with Ashley on a cot on his floor. With the thinnest fucking walls known to man kind. You should know - you grew up with the same ones.Â
Sal yawned as he laid next to you, mask placed softly on the table right beside the couch, as well as his glass eye floating in a cup, looking at you nervously as he pulled the covers up over himself too, gently wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you into him from behind, expecting you to be asleep by now - you were a heavy sleeper, he was an insomniac. It worked out like that. Until he heard a soft, half-whine of a whisper come from you.Â
âS-sal..â you mumbled softly, pressing yourself back against him, causing him to let out a soft whine of his own, hand around your waist flinching ever so softly. âP-please baby, need you so bad..â you mumbled out softly, turning around to face him, seeing the needy tears in your eyes had him melting as well, piercing his lips together as he grips softly at your side.
âN-no, you know how thin these walls are - Iâm sorry about earlier, but..â he says nervously as he watches you whine and writhe softly, pressing yourself up against him, one hand on his chest. Thatâs when you decide to make the move, grabbing his hand and moving to in-between your legs so he can feel how absolutely soaked through your panties are, causing him to experimentally run his fingers over them, biting down on his scarred lip so hard heâs concerned it might bleed. You canât help a choked whine and a buck of your hips against his hand at that, looking up at him with those needy eyes. Fuck.Â
He doesnât say a word as he puts two shaky fingers to your lips, and you wrap your mouth around them without question, twirling your tongue around them and sucking on them like your life depended on it, all while he shakily pulled you panties to the side, prodding his fingers at your soaked hole, a quiet âfuck.â Escaping his mouth when he slides one in with ease, feeling the vibrations around his fingers as you whine. âG-gotta be quiet, please - we h have to be quiet..â he mumbles out messily as he feels his cock throb to life in his sleep shorts, smearing precum across his thigh when he feels your cunt clench needily around his fingers.
He lets out a sigh of relief when you quickly nod at him, squeezing your eyes shut as he slowly starts to curl his long fingers inside of you, the obscene squealing noise making him whimper softly, hips accidentally bucking softly against your thigh as his cock tries to find some sort of friction - daydreaming about how easily he could slip inside you right now with how wet you are - how you would feel around his cock, velvety walks clenching around him and providing him that oh so delicious friction he was searching for.Â
His thumb moves to gently circle your clit as you start to find a slow grinding rhythm against his hand, practically riding his fingers as he finds that delicious spongy spot on your walls and pushes his fingers up against it, causing your cunt to give another urgent and needy clench, more slick falling into his palm, making a mess as he tries his best not to whine himself.
The slippery sounds of friction, the feeling of your thigh twitching pressed up right against his own throbbing problem, or the way his fingertips are pressing up against the entrance to your throat, the way his other fingertips are pressed up against your velvety walls. Itâs driving him beyond insane, to the point heâs thinking he might cum in his sleep shorts if it continues this way. And he didnât bring an extra pair - and it would just be a waste if he didnât cum inside of you - not while you were practically begging for it. Â
âB-baby.â He whines out, catching your attention for a second, tears of pleasure falling softly down your face as your hips still, whining against his hand from the way you stopped while being so close - it was beyond downright embarrassing how quickly you were about to cum, and you were honestly glad he stopped you. âC-can i please put it in? J-just the tip, please baby, âs so sensitive. Need you so bad.â He whines quietly and softly, pressing his hard on against your thigh to back up his own statement, whining softly again. âJust wannâ cum inside you, pleaseâŠâ he whispers, watching you nod eagerly.
Pulling his fingers out of you with an obscenely wet pop, pulling your soaked panties to the side and he lets out an erotic sigh pressing his face into the crook of your neck as he pulled his shorts down, cock slapping to attention against his abdomen, precum beading from the sensitive tip as he shakily pulled your hips up, grabbing the base of his cock and gently rubbing it against your entrance, and you could hear how wet you were when he moved his tip to part your drenched lips and drag through them, whining into the crook of your neck as you grabbed his shoulders, brain fuzzy with the way his hot tip felt rubbing against your clit, sticky with your own slick.Â
He bit down hard on your shoulder as his tip popped past the tight ring of muscles of your entrance, desperately rutting against you, trying not to whine or let slip how good it felt to be inside you - the way your hot, heady slick insides felt like they were trying to pull him in deeper. His hand cupped your mouth quickly, stopping you from making a sound as he gently pushed himself further inside you, feeling you grip tightly at his shoulders, nails digging into his flesh as he broke his promise, pushing his cock inside of you, inch by desperate inch, trying not to slam his entire cock into you at once - which was unbelievably hard, considering how wet you were, and how desperate he was - his tip prodded at your cervix, making you jerk forward, groaning against the palm of his hand.
He rutted into you desperately, not daring to thrust properly, letting everyone else hear how wet and desperate you were, or even worse, how even needier he was for you, the head of his cock bumping against your sweet spot, the only sound in the air being the quiet sounds of your muffled whines, and the quiet rustling of sheets as he ground into you, abdomen rubbing against your clit as he did so, bringing you to the edge so much faster than you ever expected, cunt clenching around him, the sign that you were about to cum. He just nodded into the nape of your neck, hips refusing to stop.Â
âm-me too, fuck, me too, me too âm gonna cum, âs too tight, âs so warm.â He half whines, half whispers right into your neck as he detaches his teeth from your shoulder for a second, before hurriedly latching them back onto your neck as you feel his cock violently twitch inside you, whining desperately into his hand as you felt yourself start to cum, cunt clenching around him desperately, slick flooding from you and creating an obscene squelching between you two as you spasmed and arched under him.Â
He groaned into your neck as he quickly pulled his face from your neck, smashing his lips desperately against yours, muffling his own groans as he pushes himself as deep into you as he can go, cumming hot ropes into you as he stills, thighs twitching as he pulls his mouth from you, both of you panting and catching your breaths, feeling the warm liquid pool out of you and spill onto Salâs abdomen as he lets out a small and raspy chuckle, still catching his breath.
 âYouâre going to be the fucking death of me.âÂ
#sal fisher#sally face#sally face x reader#larry johnson#sal fisher x reader#sally fisher#ashley campbell#todd morrison#neil sally face#sal fisher smut#sal fisher x reader smut#JESUS CHRIST!!! WOW!! MY FIRST SMUT!!
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A Letter.....Long Lost!
kyojuro rengoku x fem!reader
word count- 12.2k
synopsis- the discovery of an old letter from kyojuro rengoku's room shakes the world of tanjiro. he thought he fulfilled every wish of rengoku. however he missed one. tanjiro needs to deliver it to the one it was written for; but the letter has nothing written except a name 'y/n'. who is y/n and how will tanjiro find her?
genre/warnings- post war timeline/ mentions of death/ slice of life/ angst/ fluff/ lots of flashbacks/ kamaboko trio going on a quest to find reader/ emotionally unavailable parents/ just read it i swear it wont disappoint/ comfort/ scenes of rengoku and mitsuri training/ mentions of mugen train
a/n- i had this idea in my head and i literally wrote this in two days. Loosely based off a film I'm obsessed with...this is my first time writing a long fic. im hella nervous. it will have a sequel with a reincarnation au and smut. not fully proof read, ignore small errors.
Nezuko chimed in as urokodaki made his appearance. Soon more people will join in. Kanao and aoi are helping in the kitchen, making several dishes while inosuke is trying to get aoi give him some to taste.
Tanjiro and zenitsu are spreading out the mats for people to sit and get comfy.
âurokodaki sensei! Please come and join.â tanjiro said noticing his former teacher, carrying a huge basket wrapped in a cloth with water patterns similar to his haori. Nezuko trails behind him bringing another basket.
âi brought some mitarashi dango and some hanami-zake for everyone.â said urokodaki with a soft voice, that made nezuko wonder if he was smiling under his tengu mask.
It's been 2 years since the war ended. People lost their dear ones with a pain bearing smile. Some endured injuries that would sustain through out their life marking them as âcrippledâ; while some sacrificed themselves for the greater good.
Seasons changed since then.
So did several people.
People who turned their hearts into stone, heavy from guilt of their family dying; who suffered from the culpability of being protectedâŠ
âgiyuu sanâs here too, please sit inside with the others while we get the stuff ready.â
âyeah how's your sister? I brought her some new kimonosâ
A mild smile forming on his lips.
Tanjiroâs eyes widened a bit. It's kinda still new to him seeing such a soft side of the guy who barely used to smile.
âŠâŠhave let their guard down, allowing themselves to move on, now that there's no more threat hanging in the air.
People who had been afflicted by the remorseful long sleepless nights of trauma; killing the one who once bore them in her womb; whose eyes had become dull and frantic, dying inside in agonyâŠ..
âoi tomioka! Move outta my way!â grumbled sanemi, throwing a box wrapped in a delicate green cloth in tanjiro's direction as he catches it with difficulty. Having a hand crippled like an old man is sure a poor thing, not that tanjiro minds that.
âahh the scary guy's here again! Don't touch the box tanjiro. It must've been poisoned!!!â shouted zenitsu, panicking around, hiding himself behind tanjiro.
âWhat did you just say?â Sanemiâs eyes narrowed at zenitsu, veins becoming more prominent, ready to throw a first at the blonde head's face.
âGoddamn shinazugawa! Don't scare the kidâŠâ said giyu, grabbing his wrist and pulling him inside. âWh-youâre such a creep tomioka!â
âKk.â
âStop giving me that kanroji face!â sanemi said as shivers ran down his spine. Somehow a smiling tomioka was scarier than muzan to him.
âŠhave let go of their distraught, accepting the dreams which they wanted for their loved ones. Fulfilling it in their place.
âBoth of them are creeps!â Zenitsu said digging his nails into tanjiro's skin as he spit curses on them. âZenitsu they are gone now, can you please give this box to kanao san, it smells of fresh ohagi.â
âI'm telling youâŠit's fuckin poisonedâ
âIt's not, zenitsuâŠdon't be like thatâ tanjiro pushed him away with the box. He then took up a broom and started sweeping any other leaves that fell down from the trees.
Pink flowers blossomed everywhere, now that another peaceful season had arrived.
Kanao had suggested nezuko and aoi that they should spend time together this hanami festival. Nezuko and aoi agreed to that instantly. Thus this is how they ended up inviting everyone at tanjiro's, whose house was surrounded by a lots of cherry blossoms.
Kiyo chan naho chan and sumi chan were playing with tengenâs baby as Suma kept pestering urokodaki san for loosening his face mask (I can't blame my lil curious mommy). Makio was sure annoyed at her behavior while hinatsuru just chuckled. Murata sat stiff in the presence of four former hashiras.
Almost all of them had arrived. Except the rengokus.
Aoi brought them some appetizers, as they kept on chatting. After decorating the food all of them would join outside admiring the moment of bliss.
âSenjuro Kun and shinjuro san ain't here yet right?â Asked tengen.
âThey haven't made their arrival yetâ announced aoi, âhowever tanjiro san is waiting outside for them, the food is almost done, we can start after they get hereâ
âHAHAHAHAâŠ. RUSHING IN LIKE A BOAR!!!â inosuke dashed in with a sakura onigiri in his mouth, from the kitchen. âWAhahhh scar guy!! Fight me!â As expected from inosuke, nothing could ever stop him. At first he was a bit spooked seeing a lot of people at once and sticked to aoi till his normal composure returned.
âStill that dumb boar head! Will he ever get mature?â Sanemi grumbled lazily. âI agreeâ said giyu, smiling at sanemi, which almost made his stomach churn. Tengen bursted out in laughter, âI see you are still in spirit huh? Quite flamboyant of you.â
âYEAH THE GOD OF MOUNTAINS INOSUKE SAMA IS ALWAYââ Aoi smacked him on his head and dragged him away while muttering some apologies to the hashiras.
âHe's still much of energyâŠand his voice has become much hoarse ain't it? I still remember taking those kids on that mission. And this kid in particular was such a ruckus.â Said tengen, stretching his arms.
âIsn't it good to see all of us after so long without having to fear losing someone?â Said hinatsuru, makio and Suma smiled at each other.
âBut we had already lost many people.â Sanemi sighed. He wished he could apologize to genya. If life ever gives him another chance he would like to be a little less aggressive.
âIf you keep sulking like that, your brother will definitely curse you from heaven.â giyu took a gulp of the matcha tea, sanemi sent at tanjiro's a month ago.
âNow that there are no demons, you two get along with each other quite well don't you think so?â Tengen threw the snarky question at them.
âwhat theââ
âI wish rengoku could have seen you guys like thisâŠremember the one time himejima san told us that oyakata sama wanted to see giyu smileâŠ.â
âSee me smile?â
âYeah, what a waste of time i swear.â
âRengoku disappeared for a while to buy glasses in order to make giyu smile.â laughed tengen.
âIt didn't work though and then kochou emotionally blackmail me to make him laugh.â
âOh so this is why you wanted to have sake daikon with me?â Giyu smiled again at sanemi.
âI swear if you make that kanroji face again at me, I will kick you on your balls.â
âEveryone foodâs ready, let's go and sit outside!!â Said nezuko halting the heated nostalgic conversation of the two.
Murata finally lets himself relax a bit as the hashiras start moving out. Urokodaki slammed a hand at his back, as he felt his stiff posture return. âDon't be so stiff we aren't gonna ask you to duel.â murataâs cheeks reddened in embarrassment as urokodaki laughed off at the kid's nervousness.
These days are indeed peaceful.
Senjuro made his appearance a bit late. He apologized for his fathers absence, blaming on his health. It's not been that best for a few days.
âOh goodness, is he really going to be fine, we can go run a check up on him you know?â Kanao offered an idea, worried about the shinjuroâs health.
âThanks a lot. Actually there's something that has been troubling us for a while.â
âIs everything okay?â Tanjiro's asked with concern lacing his eyes. Sanemi noticed, he had always been kind. He was kind to his brother. During hashira training when tanjiro stepped over the line, it actually made sanemi kinda happy and relaxed. Atleast genya had someone in life he could rely on.
Shinjuro's put down his bowl and chopstick on the mats as he brought his hand to his knees.
âThere's something we found a month agoâŠ.while cleaning anikiâs room.â
Not only tanjiro but tengen, giyu, sanemi, zenitsu and inosuke froze for a second. The untimely death of the young guy was such a sad event that has ached their hearts for a long time.
Tanjiro could smell senjuroâs emotions and it was odd. It wasn't sadness, or guilt, or anger. It was pity. And somehow it stinged tanjiro, the same way it did years ago.
Senjuro took out some bunch of old papers from the sleeves of his yukata.
Tanjiro's throat felt dry and uneasy. It were a bunch of letters.
All of them looked like they were forgotten for months. The letter envelopes had stained yellow and some even have their edges teared off. But it sure emitted a strong smell. The smell of kyojuro rengoku. Tanjiro's still remembers the distinct hints of his aura. And it somehow still lingered around these letters. Especially the one which was sealed.
âWhat is it?â asked aoi, finally breaking the deafening silence. A strong gust of wind blew the pink petals along with the letters from senjuro's hand. It's scattered around the mats as all of them tried to collect them.
âYâŠ.y/n?â read nezuko aloud. She hold the sealed letter in her hand as tanjiro extended his palm to grab it. It had tear stains. One side of it had brush marks written âto y/nâ. The ink has now blurred a bit. But it was still readable.
âWhat's the meaning of all this?â Tengen asked, grabbing one of the opened letters in his hand. Giyu had hold of one reading in pure shock, while sanemi pondered from the side. Eyes as shocked as giyuâs.
âWhat happened tengen-sama?â asked makio, seeing all of their disturbed expressions. Zenitsu tried to snatch away the papers from inosuke who was trying to eat it.
âWe found these letters from anikiâs room. A lady named y/n had sent those letters to him. Anâ?â
âAnd that lady was his lover?â asked giyu.
âWhat nonsense!â
âHe never mentioned any of that to me.â frowned tengen.
âNor did aniki said anything about it at home. At that time our father didn't pay us any attention. He was drowned totally in despair from the death of our mother. Seeing us only infuriated his anger and sorrow. Aniki would train or be at missions and he was rarely at home. He never told me anything about thatâŠ.â
âA letter?â thought tanjiro. He started sweating all of a sudden. He thought he fulfilled all his wishes butâ
âRengoku san! Please think about yourself, can you stop the bleeding with your breathing technique?â Tanjiro has muttered those words back then, panickingly, devastatingly.
He wanted rengoku to say yes. He wanted him to live beside him, fight beside him, eat beside him. But he didn't get that as an answer.
âNo, very soon i'll be dead. Before that happens, i need you to hear me out. I have a younger brother named senjuro. Please tell him to follow his heart. And walk down the path he feels is right.â Rengokuâs face had the same content smile, which warmed their hearts up. He continued, âAnd tell my father to look after himselfâŠand lastlyâŠâ
Rengoku went on and expressed his views on nezuko. It felt like a warm hug. Someone has accepted nezuko. Not because they pitied her but since they saw her true potential and that she was no harm to humans. And now when he remembers it clearly, there was something rengoku whispered before his heart stopped pumping.
It was a faint whisper. So subtle that tanjiro thought it was his ears ringing. But now that he recalls, after he said he trusted them as a slayers, he whispered a few words
âand the letteââ
Rengoku stopped mid sentence as tanjiro kept weeping. He wasn't looking at tanjiro but something behind him. It made him smile as he took his last breath.
âOni-chan? What happened? Are you okay?â Nezuko pulled tanjiro out of his daze. Everyone was looking at him worriedly. Even sanemi was worried.
âI've not fulfilled rengoku sanâs last wishes. I- i haven't. I haven't deliveredâŠhow can I be so dumb!!â
âWhat? Tanjiro san! Calm down! You told us everything aniki wanted to say to us.â Senjuro tried to comfort tanjiro.
âNoâŠbefore dying he whispered something. I thought my ears were ringing but he did whispered something. It was about a letter.â tanjiro kept on babbling as everyone felt dead silent even senjuro couldn't move his hands.
The sealed letter stayed in tanjiro's hands.
Something that belonged to the girl named y/n.
Something probably dear to kyojuro rengoku.
Some words which were waiting since 3 years.
ButâŠ..who is y/n?
The rest of hanami festival gathering went by silent. Senjuro entrusted the letter to tanjiro as per as his request before leaving early since he need to be home before sunset to check upon his father. Murata and urokodaki san accompanied him on the way.
âThat's completely ridiculous. None of us have any idea who the fuck this y/n is? how are the fuck are you even planning to find her?â Sanemi spit out bitter words at tanjiro, sitting on the porch, watching the sun slowly turn a deep shade of orange. It reminded him of rengokuâs odd hair colour. It's funny how not only he, but his tsugoku also had weird hair colourâ a colour which was dear to Iguro obanai.
Tanjiro lowered his head, smiling a bit. Sanemi changed a lot, even if he speaks harshly, he can only smell pure concern. âBut I can't start a new life without paying my debts. Rengoku san saved my life. Whoever lady y/n isâŠ.I need to deliver this letter to her.â
âI get what you're sayingâŠbut there's no address in any part of the letter. Moreover you are being hesitant on opening it. How do you think you will find her then?â Tengen spoke from the back, alerting the former wind hashira and tanjiro. Both wondered how long he's been eavesdropping them. They expect nothing less. He was a hashira and before that he was a ninja. Even after losing one arm and one eye, he still holds the same power.
âHonestly, I've no idea. But I just can't sit and let it slide.â said tanjiro.
âyouâre getting married to kanao next year. Better focus on that. Don't get into useless troubles hanging her off.â sanemi said lazily, yawning and getting up to his feet, stretching a bit. âI will be leaving then. Take care.â Tanjiro didn't reply to him.
Tengen shared a look with sanemi. His eyes shooting a mischievous look filled with pride. Tengen has been in a mission with tanjiro and he knows how stubborn he can be. He knows how pure of a heart he had. And how he even had empathy for demons. He knows sanemi have to surrender infront of him.
Annoyed, sanemi rolled his eyes, âif you're that insistent on finding the girl, then why not refer to kasugai crows. Rengoku's crow might know something about the girl.â He suggested as tengen was in literal awe. He never thought sanemi could ever think logically with his brain. Tanjiroâs head perked up in joy at his idea. Now he finally has a path to look up. Sanemi felt awkward and took his leave, avoiding to look in their eyes.
âAh! Shinazugawa san! Thanks for the idea!!â
âThat brat finally seems to work a bit humane ain't he ?!â A deep laugh bubbled up tengenâs throat.
âIâm happy that he has softened a little now that demons have perished. However, about rengoku sanâs kasugai crow, do you know where do I get in contact with it?â
âAbout that, i would recommend writting letter to kiriya sama. I'm sure he would know.â Tengen patted his head with a reassuring smile.
Soon he took his leave with his wives and giyu, since they were going to an onsen. Basically makio Suma and hinatsuru dragged him along forcefully. Giyu looked a bit tired but he was happy.
Things changed and improved rapidly in a short time. Zenitsu and nezuko got married last year. Murata also got engaged. Tanjiro couldn't help but wonder if the lady named y/n had moved on or not? Will rengoku san be happy if she found someone else? Will he be sad? He looked at nezuko smiling at zenitsu as he played with kiyo, naho and sumi. He looked at inosuke giving his shiniest acorns to aoi. He looked at kanao, smiling delicately, just like shinobu did.
He was happy.
But was the lady named y/n happy in her life?
Kanao looked at him and smiled. She came near him and took his wrinkled hand in hers. âTanjiro san, you know I would really like you to deliver this letter to y/n san before we start a new life.â
âEven if it takes time?â
âEven if it does. I will wait for you for an eternity.â Tanjiro chuckled as red tints his cheeks. How pure kanaoâs heart is? How did he get so lucky to have her in his life? God knows.
âThen I will write a letter to kiriya.â
After a few days, a letter arrived from ubuyashiki's. Along with that two kasugai crows were found circling over the house. Among them one belonged to tanjiro, when he was a demon slayerâ tennoji.
The other was the one who accompanied rengoku till his last breath. Kiriya felt sad for rengoku and wrote his kind regards to tanjiro sending the crow to him. His name was kaname.
The crow looked pretty much normal and wasn't as hot -tempered as tennoji.
This was the first time tanjiro had seen him. âHello, kaname san. Sorry for summoning you all of a sudden. But I wanted to ask you somethingâŠâ the crow didn't reply, but tilted his head at tanjiro.
âI-ahh- do you know anything about a lady named y/n?â
The crow remained quite for a while, as if reminiscing the days which followed great sorrow. âMaster'sâŠy/n samaâŠmaster's loverâŠlettersâŠâ
His words were what tanjiro was expecting. Tanjiro finally saw a path clear.
âCan you tell me where she lives?â Asked tanjiro hopefully.
The crow shaked his head,âi don't know.â
Slightly disappointed, tanjiro started asking how she looked. The crow wasn't exactly able to describe her. Accepting his defeat, he asked the crow where he saw her for the first time. Maybe if he goes there, he will be able to find her.
âtokyoâŠcapitalâŠmission..â
the crow wasn't that helpful, they only got to know two things.
First- whoever this y/n is, she was rengoku's lover.
Second- rengoku's crow saw her in tokyo, the capital.
This indicates maybe rengoku and the people who went to the mission in tokyo as said by the crow, if alive, they might know something about it. Tanjiro wrote updates to the others.
A few days later, giyuâs letter came along with some sweets. In that he wrote that rengoku went to tokyo for a battle with lower moon 2 back then. Oyakata sama had assigned him to that mission, before he was a hashira. There were a bunch of people accompanying him, one of them being kanroji mitsuri.
Oh! Mitsuri kanroji was his tsugoku, tanjiro almost forgot about that, he got excited to ask her when reality struck him down. She died after the war. Even if she knew y/n tanjiro couldn't ask her.
He continued reading the letter from giyu as the path which formed in his mind started getting blurry.
Upon hearing from tanjiro, kanao dropped by at the kamadoâs. She said she might have one way to get to know about y/n. Tanjiro's eyes perked up at kanaoâs remark, which almost made kanaoâs heart jolt since he was so cute.
Kanao explained, when shinobu was alive, she had once told her that mitsuri was close to a kakushi couple. She further said that mitsuri used to write letters to them about her missions on a regular basis. Those two even came to congratulate her when she was promoted to hashira. She said it was nice to see that a girl around her age so lively.
Tanjiro wrote a letter to kiriya again. And next week when tanjiro went out with inosuke to sell some charcoal in the city, a couple came to visit them.
Nezuko welcomed them, while zenitsu narrowed his eyes on them, especially upon the male.
When tanjiro returned home he was delighted to find the kakushi couple still waiting for him. They didn't hide their faces anymore. Dressed normally as regular citizens. Honestly they were pretty young, and tanjiro admired how they served the corps group keeping them intact.
âI'm so glad you both came.â Tanjiro bowed infront of them in gratitude.
âOh no, that's completely fine. We are happy to be of any help. Oyakata sama said you wanted to know about mitsuri.â said the woman.
âAhh not exactly about her, but for instance, do you have any idea if she ever mentioned a name called ây/nâ?â tanjiro said pulling inosuke back beside him as he kept munching on the snacks for the guests. The guy gave him a creeped stare as he focused back on tanjiro's words.
ây/n? No I don't think soâŠ.she ever mentioned that name. Did she tanaka san?â The woman said.
Tanjiro felt anxious as the guy named tanaka tilted his head to think a bit.
âNope I don't think she did.â, he clarified.
âOhâŠ.â Tanjiro's voice was barely a whisper, that even inosuke sat straight checking if he's alright.
âIs there something else we can do, tanjiro kun? You look upset.â
âNo noâŠit's fine. I was just trying to deliver a letter to rengoku san's loveââ
âRengoku san? Kanroji sanâs master ain't it?â Tanaka spoke before tanjiro could finish his sentence.
âYeah.â
âOh my god? The one whom rengoku san loves was y/n?â
âYou guys know her?â Hope shined bright in tanjiro's eyes. So did a fervent fear. Fear of disappointment. Fear of not being able to pay his debts. Fear of not fulfilling rengoku san's last wish.
âWe didn't know about her name but kanroji san used to tell us about herâŠisn't it shimi san?â The guy turned to his wife with a fuzzy smile on his face.
âYeah, she seemed so happy, wanting to have a love like them.â Said the wife.
And for the first time till now tanjiro wasn't let down. âReally? Did she lived in tokyo? Rengoku san's crow said he saw her for the first time during a mission.â
âA mission? No.â The wife let out a chuckle, âit started way before that. Kanroji san saidâŠ.. â
âAhh! Master! Can we please have a break! I'm tired from hitting the sword, my limbs are sore.â Mitsuri cried barely holding another strike from her master.
âHaha you got tired this fast, we haven't even started.â the blazing hair resembling fire, moved swiftly as the guy attempted another strike on mitsuri, but thanks to a call outside, he stopped midway.
âWait a bit, I will be back in a while.â Said kyojuro rengoku, her master. âi will be happy if you don't come back for a while.â she thought as she collapsed on her knees, to exhausted to move.
âAhh senjuro kun! Bring me some snacks please!!!â She shouted hoping for the little kid to hear.
A bit later, rengoku comes back. Senjuro looked at his elder brother, frowning while holding a letter. Mitsuri sat beside senjuro, who brought her some onigiris.
âWhat's that master?â She asked, stuffing another onigiri in her mouth.
âEven I'm confused. It's a letter but it wasn't delivered by a kasugai crow but by a postman.â
âHuh? Maybe it's from some neighbour wanting to lower your voice while eating.â Senjuro said shrugged off his shoulders as mitsuri suppress her laugh bubbling on her throat, almost choking on rice. It wasn't an irregular thing that neighbors anonymously complained about kyojuro shouting âumaiâ every time he ate.
âOpen it.â Said senjuro, curious what type of sarcastic words they might have chosen now.
Kyojuro did as his little brother requested. However kyojuro didn't reacted after reading the letter.
âToday's practice is over. You can relax.â He, then ordered senjuro to boil him some bathwater, shooing him away.
Senjuro obeyed his brother, while mitsuri felt kinda odd, yet she was happy to have a day off.
As soon as both of them left the backyard, rengoku blushed like crazy. The letter was still in his hand as he tried to digest the words.
âA love lettââ a big palm shut mitsuriâs mouth, preventing her from shouting. Yet she was squealing. âI thought you left! You've gotten quite quick in sly footing didn't ya? I'm impressed.â He finally removed his hand from mitsuri's mouth.
âOfcourse you made me practice for 23 hours without sleep. Anyways, what's written in that?â
âDo you want me to make you practice for 2 days straight?â
âNaah I'm fine! But master, I'm happy.â
âOkay.â
âAnd curious too. Please let me read it.â
âNo!â
After shooing mitsuri out of the backyard he tucked the letter in his sleeves. This letter was sure weird.
âRengoku san thought that she didn't read the letter, but she had a strong memory and could remember each word after seeing it once. She was so excited telling us about that.â said the wife, looking outside the window at the moon.
The flame of the lantern flickered a bit. âSo that might mean that the letter should be among those papersâŠâ
âWoah zenitsu! I thought you were asleep?!â
âHow am I supposed to sleep if you're talking that loudly idiot!â
Yeah the paper. There were a lot of papers. Some were smudged and unreadable, so they didn't read all of them. Tanjiro went over their cupboard and brought the bunch of papers.
âCan you identify the letter among them?â He asked the guy to inspect. The couple looked at each other. âMaybe we can try but the writings aren't clear.â
âPlease if you can. I need to deliver that letter.â tanjiro bowed his head down begging to the couple.
âYou're a nice kid, Tanjiro kun. We will surely help you.â
It's been more than twenty minutes since they are reading each and every paper. Inosuke got bored and slept on the tatami mats. Nezuko was already asleep so they didn't wanted to bother her.
âYeah maybe this one. From what Kanroji san had explained, this seems to be the one.â The guy tanaka handed the delicate piece of paper to tanjiro.
âHowever, in each of these letters, she referred herself as his wifeâŠI didn't know he was marriedâŠ?â
âHuh?â Tanjiro frowned upon the man's words. âwhat?â he checked the letters again. And the guy was right, y/n did refer herself as his wife. They didn't read the papers as carefully since they were long, they just assumed she was his lover. But rengoku san wasn't the one to hide such crucial information.
Tanjiro was confused, they were so focused on finding the address of y/n that they ignored reading the letters, which could provide information about her.
Tanjiro spent the entire night reading each word carefully. Fingers running across elegant handwriting and smudged ink. As he kept reading those with a pain in his heart. There were in total 7 of those letters, which were written to rengoku. And the one which tanjiro kept seemingly in careâ the sealed one; one which has a strong smell of rengokuâs aura; one with tear stains.
The couple spent the night in their house and left the next morning after breakfast.
This helped but not that much. However the path had become clearer.
He knew that the girl was from a nice family who had hands in education from the curves in each characters of her words.
Second, she had mentioned that he had saved her and her friends from a fire, in yokaichi.
âI'm leaving for yokaichi.â Said tanjiro during breakfast.
âEh? Oni- chan?â
âDon't worry nezuko, oni-chan will be back soon.â
âI will also go!â Said inosuke, âinosuke-sama will protect kamaboko gonpachiro, his minon from any harm.â
Tanjiro chuckled at how inosuke shows his care for him, âfine then.â
âZenitsu san you also go with themâŠâ
âEhh, but nezuko chan won't you be lonely without me? I know you will be lonely without mââ
âI won't. You guys will be back soon. Till then I will be at butterfly mansion.â
âB-but nezuko channn!!!!â Inosuke dragged him away as nezuko watched the poor soul. She felt bad but she wanted him to be with her brother. She just felt that the three of them should go together.
The three of them finally reached yokaichi town. It was small but quite dense in population. Tanjiro felt that this was an advantage for them since they stories and folks might spread fast in a vast social surroundings.
âInosuke, zenitsu let's ask the older citizens first, since they might be living here for a while, they must have known about any fire incidents.â
âI was about to say the same thing as you.â Snorted the board masked guy rushing off in the east direction. Zenitsu simply nodded and went in the opposite direction, sulking. He has been giving tanjiro silent treatment since he had to leave nezuko alone.
Tanjiro sighed as he started finding old citizens nearby asking about a fire incident.
After asking a few of them, he sighed, it didn't really do any help, since many weren't able to hear and some weren't able to remember. When he asked the youngsters, they ran away seeing his old crippled hand.
Tanjiro, let down, returned to the spot where they had started searching. Inosuke was already there tapping his feet as he was waiting for the others.
âDid you find anything?â Asked tanjiro.
âNahh! They were mere cowards. Running way from me. Though I liked it! Everyone should fear the great inosuke sama.â As expected from inosuke, zenitsu was yet to return. Both of them decided to wait till he comes back.
After a while, zenitsu came back. His sulking still hasn't tailed off. âAhh zenitsu! Did you find anything? You took so long!!â
Zenitsu didn't reply.
He stared at him with dead eyes.
Oh god! Zenitsuâs moody phases are the worst, especially if it's an urgent task. The whining and sulking from a few years ago flashed in front of tanjiroâs eyes.
âYou turned mute or what?â said inosuke, already having enough of zenitsuâs tantrums.
But the only reply that came from the blonde was an eye roll. Inosuke got pissed, ready to throw hands at him if not stopped by tanjiro.
âZenitsu, I will get nezuko chan make sweet washagis for you when we get back home.â
âReally!! You better do that. I can't even explain how much I've missed my dear wife nezuko chan. She must be so lonely without me.â Babbled zenitsu, finally speaking for the first time till they left home.
âShe won't.â
âStop making snarky comments you stupid boar head. What do you even know about pure love between me and nezuko chan?!!!â
âAhh zenitsu! Did you get to know anything?â
Zenitsu considered tanjiro a while, before giving in, âAt the very west of this town, there's an inn. People said it almost burned down about four years agoâŠI looked for its owner but they said he will be back late.â
Tanjiro let out a breath. If that's the case, then the owner might remember the incident clearly. If only he could provide any useful information.
âBtw do you really believe whoever this y/n isâŠshe's still alive?â Zenitsu scratched the back of his neck, shooing away the mosquitos ready to feed upon his blood. It's been long three of them are waiting in front of the inn for its owner to arrive.
âLet's just not lose hope.â The inn did looked like it suffered severe consequences from whatever happened 4 years ago. Most of it has been repaired but the aura and the smell can still be recognised. There are still some wooden planks with burn marks which are yet to be repaired.
âMay I ask who you three are?â
A chilly voice turned their attention. There stood a thin, frail boy, barely an adult. His eyes were small with hair falling down on his brows. He speculated about them with a suspicious look in his eyes(especially on the boat masked guy). Was he the owner? He looked too young for that.
âAhh good evening! I'm tanââ
âIf you're wanting to stay the night, go somewhere else, I'm not opening the inn today.â He replied coldly before tanjiro could even introduce himself.
âAhh no, you're misunderstandingâŠ. actually we are here to ask you something about the incident four years agoâŠâ
The look on the boyâs face changed from suspicion to disgust.
âWellâŠI don't wanna talk about it. You guys can leave.â
âNo please, at least hear our questions. It's really important.â
âAs if I care.â
âHey fucker! If you don't answer I'll break each and every bone in your body.â
âStop it inosuke!â This isn't going any better. It's almost night, they also need to find a place to stay.
âtanjiro can you move aside a bitâ said zenitsu, without waiting for his reply, he went to the kid. Apparently he whispered something in his ears which seemed to have creeped the guy out.
Tanjiro gulped. He must be desperate to go home and see nezuko. Sometimes he forgets that their coward friend can be hell scary when it comes to nezuko.
âOkay. He's ready to spill anything he knows.â The look on the kids face made it clear he didn't wanted to recall anything about that incident. However tanjiro had no choice but to push him off the edge.
âHey I'm sorry if we're causing you any trouble, but you know we really need to know anything you know about a girl named y/n.â
âY/n?â
âYeah. Heard it before?â
âNo. There were none with this name.â
âEh? Can you try to recall. There must be someone. A girl who was saved by rengoku san. A guy whose hair was similar to fire.â
âKyojuro rengoku you mean? He pretty much saved everyone. The inn you see here, is small. Before the incident also it was small and not that popular. Only a few people stayed here occasionally. So I can be sure there was no one named y/n.â
An âohâ is just what tanjiro could manage. The boy got inside the house behind the inn. The night fell and they were still in the same position as before.
Inosuke was throwing tantrums in hunger, so they decided to go to an udon shop nearby. Perhaps they should not lose hope. Thinking empty stomach is not always the best option. This they were sitting in the shop waiting for their order to come.
âBut she did mention in those letters that she was saved by him. How come the owner doesn't know anything about that?â
âI already told you we should have broken his bones, monjiro.â
âI think it's useless, let's just go back home to my nezuko chan.â
âZenitsu! What if you were in place of rengoku san? Would you be happy if your last words don't reach nezuko?â zenitsu went silent at that.
They stayed silent till three bowls of hot udon were placed infront of them. Tanjiro and zenitsu thanked the server for the food whereas inosuke just shoved his head into the hot udon bowl. âYou guys seem a bit tense, is everything okay? Asked the old man, the owner of the udon restaurant.
âYeah we're just a bit disappointed.â Said tanjiro. âHaha and why so? Got rejected by a girl? Can't blame her, it's your hand.â The old man pointed at tanjiro's crippled hand. âWhat happened that's it's such in a bad condition?â
âOh! It'sâŠfromâŠfrom a fight.â Tanjiro smiled, it's hard to offend him anyway,â i already have a fiance and we are getting married soon.â
âOh my god! Please forgive my mean words then. I wish you both happiness.â
âThank you.â
âThen why pull a sad face. My udon tastes the best when you eat it with a good mood, ya know?!â
âHaha, I'm sure it will still taste good. Actually we were here wanting to acquire some information about the fire incident 4 years ago.â
âOh that was such a bad one. If there wasn't that guy everyone would have lost their lifeâŠâ
âRengoku san? You mean?â Tanjiro's eyes perked up. âI see, you know kyojuro. Yeah, that boy was a regular in my shop. Although it's been more than three years since he last visited, i wonder how he's doing? Tell him to visit once, the old man misses him.â the man bursted in laughter while the three of them couldn't even managed to smile even once.
How are they even supposed to tell him, tell him that, ârengoku san died three years ago while saving us fromâŠâ zenitsu's voice trailed down into nothingness. So did the old man's. They didn't knew if he's aware about demons so they didn't exaggerated it anymore.
No one spoke for a while.
âI see. What did you guys want to know then? I'm sure you were close to him if he gave up on his life for you allâŠâ
âdo you know anyone named y/n? I need to deliver this letter to her.â tanjiro took out the yellow stained letter and handed it to the old man, who squinted his eyes on the writings, drawing a wrinkled finger tracing it's shapes.
âYâŠy/nâŠ..yeah she asked me to send some letters to his residence. The kid was young and beautiful.â he returned the letter back to tanjiro.
âShe did?!â
âYeahâŠthat kid almost begged me to not tell kyojuro anything about that.â
The three of them looked at each other. âCan you tell us more about her?â âDo you know where she lives?â âCan I get a refill?â The three of them threw questions at the old man's face, whose lips creaked a bit. âHmm, I don't know where she lives but I can tell you about her.â He said taking inosukeâs bowl to the counter for another refill.
The restaurant was almost empty so they went and sat on the round seats opposite of the counter.
âIt was about four years ago when she appeared in my shop after kyojuro leftâŠ.â
âumm excuse meâŠâ you said
âYeah young lady, what would you prefer?â asked the owner pointing at the chart hung on the wall which displayed all the items on the menu.
âI will take a hot tempura udon please.â said the girl beside you.
âAnd you miss?â The owner directed the question towards you. âUmm I will take anything you prefer.â âEhh is that so? Fine, I'll make you the tastiest bowl of my special udon.â
âJust tell alreadyâŠ!â The girl beside you whispered into your ear, which was audible to the owner, he chuckled a bit. âCan you shut upâŠ.!!â
âI will if you say itâŠ!â
âOkay fine!â
âUmmâŠif you don't mind, is there any way you can ask the address of the man who just left a while ago?â you asked hesitantly, fiddling with your fingers.
âKyojuro you mean? I already know his residence, he made me deliver udon to his place before.â the owner said trying to keep his composure, young kids are just so bold nowadays.
âIs that so?â your eyes shined dreamily.
âWhy harbored a crush on the man you saw a few mins ago? Hahaha!!â you felt blood rush to your cheeks as you couldn't find words to answer his question.
âShe wants to thank him for saving her.â said the girl beside you. âAtsuko!â Atsuko just gave a smirk, ignoring how she threw you in such humiliation.
âAhâŠif you don't mind then can you please deliver this letter to him anonymously. Don't tell him I asked you to send it. PleaseâŠI can pay you for that..â
âI don't need any payment. I will do that. You can just come and enjoy my special udon sometimes.â the owner accepted the letter from your hands, tucking it in his sleeves. âAnd maybe watch that man you talked aboutâŠhe comes here around weekends.â The man hinted you the place which kyojuro normal has his lunch. And if you weren't blushing any harder, you felt your entire face burn with embarrassment. But you want to do it anyway.
Atsuko giggled beside you excited to see what happens next.
âSo you delivered the letters in her stead?â asked zenitsu.
âYeahâŠshe kept coming back with letters for a good six months, if i remember correctly. Maybe kyojuro replied to themâŠâ
It fell silent for a while. The only sound echoing was of inosuke slurping on the noodles.
âSo, while you delivered letters rengoku san didn't knew her?â The guy with red eyes pointed the question at the owner.
âNo i don't think so, she never came when he used to visit, that is, the weekends.â
âCan you tell us what was the name of her friend again?â
âAtsukoâŠif I remember correctly..â
âCan you describe how she looked?â
âEhh? I can't really remember people's faces clearly, but she was very beautiful, big eyes with a nice soft skin. Her hair was long and dark. She had a soft voice. She looked like she belonged from a privileged family. So did her friend.â
âOh is there anything specific you remember about her?â
âHmmâŠlet me thinkâŠif I'm not wrong rengoku once mentioned her name to a boy who tagged along with him. If you go to him i believe he could provide you some answers.â
âReally? Who was he?â
âHis name wasâŠ.daisuke I guess. He used to wear a similar black sort of uniform like kyojuro.â
After finishing their meal, tanjiro payed for everyone and thanked the old man for all that information. They went to a nearby inn and spent the night.
Tanjiro wrote some letters updating each one of their current status. And he sent a crow to kiriya requesting him to take a look if there's any former slayer named Daisuke and used to frequent his missions with rengoku.
The next day around afternoon, tennoji returned from ubuyashiki's. He said there was indeed a slayer named Daisuke. He had suffered severe injuries from the war and now lives in his village.
As directed by tennoji, tanjiro's crow, they went to the south east from their current position. After two days and one night of sleeping in the jungle without the fear of demons, a village appeared. It wasn't that populated. After asking a few kids, they showed the path which led to Daisukeâs hut.
âUmm excuse me? Daisuke san?â
âYes, whâ taâŠtanjiroâŠ.aren't you tanjiro?â the guy said, he was blind from one eye similar to tanjiro, with a missing arm and a limp leg. Tanjiro felt sorry for him.
âYes, they are inosuke and zenitsu. Sorry for being a botherâŠ.â
âOh no please come inside. I will get tea for youâŠâ he said excited.
âOh, you don't have to. It's fine. Actually we wanted to ask somethingâŠ.â
âYeah? Please come in. I will surely help you as much as possible.â
They entered the hut and sat on the tatami mats. Even after pleading not to bring any snacks, Daisuke brought some rice crackers for them.
âPlease have them.â
âYou didn't have to.â
âOh it's nothing. Now what did you wanted to ask about?â
âIt's about y/n.â Tanjiro said as the rest simply focused on rice crackers. A hint of familiarity glistened in Daisuke's eyes. âY/n? You mean the one rengoku san was madly in love with?â
Madly in love with? Tanjiro felt a pinch in his heart. Rengoku san must have adored you. The sealed letter had tear stains. Did rengoku cried while writing that?
âAhâŠyeahâŠI need to deliver this letter to y/n but I don't know where she lives. Did rengoku san ever mentioned where she lived?â
âA letter? Why sent a letter when he was so adamant about that?â
âAdamant?â
âYeahâŠhe said that the pages limited his words to her. He was so desperate wanting to see her that he spent like 2 weeks searching for her without taking rest after his missions.â
âSeriously? So how are you supposed to recover from those injuries?â Daisuke said to his senior with an exasperated expression.
âIt will heal when I get to see her face.â Said rengoku, bandaging the cut from a demon's blood arts whom he just killed.
âYou're gonna exhaust yourself from build up fatigue.â The sun rays kissed the soil painted in crimson from the shedded blood.
âI will be fine. You go and take rest.â
âI can't believe you're going to find the creepy girl sending you creepy letters claiming herself as your wife.â Daisuke let you a sigh at rengoku's stubborness.
âIn that case I gotta meet my wife.â Rengoku's laughter echoed among the vast field.
It still echoed in Daisuke's memories.
âSo rengoku wasn't marriedâŠ?â
âNaah. Honestly I think, after rengoku sanâs mother died, he had faced severe neglect from his father. He was the oldest son of the family, so he had to be strong for his sibling. But sometimes we forget, even the strong needs someone to back for them. Even they need some kind words to let go all their tiredness and have a tight sleep. Even they need someone who assured them that they have a bright futureâŠâ
That's right. Tanjiro had seen how shinjuro, rengoku san's father, disrespected his sacrifice. He was so lost and depressed in his wife's loss that he forgot about the ones who need the most careâ his kids.
Daisuke continued, âwhen the letter came from y/n, rengoku san must have read comforting words for the first time since that. He used to reread those letters a thousand times when he was free. Sometimes I wondered if he ever got bored doing thatâŠbut I knew he didn't. A starved man will eat anything. And I knew he was emotionally starving.â
Zenitsu and inosuke stopped eating rice crackers. Rengoku's death solely hurted them as much as it did to tanjiro, but they never thought it was that deep. That it was something beyond his life as a demon slayer.
Zenitsu could relate. After all he was an orphan. And rengoku was too, being in a situation similar to him, where his only parent was emotionally unavailable for him. He felt sorry for him.
No one dared to say anything. The silence was piercing their hearts like splinters of iron.
âFun fact was that he did find her,â Daisuke chorted a bit before continuing, âand he literally begged her to marry himâŠâ
Rengoku searched from cabin to cabin in the steam train. In the last letter you mentioned you were going to aomori to visit your relatives by train.
After a bit of negotiation he learned that there was only one train which was going to stop at aomori. This is how he ended up buying tickets at the last moment getting in the train, to find you.
He hasn't seen you before. He wondered how you would look. Even more beautiful and kind than your letters. Even more beautiful than the slight hooks of the curved kanjis you had written his name. Even more beautiful than the blazing sun.
He had checked almost the entire train. The content smile on his face has now thinned into pursed lips. He was nervous. What if he fails to find you? What if he never gets to find you? What if he never gets to see your face?
What if he didn't recognise you?
He flashed all the passengers in his head before lowering his head. None of them carried the same demeanor your letters did. He couldn't imagine any one of them being you.
He entered the last cabin. It was empty. However this cabin seemed a bit different. It had a narrow passage on the right with doors while the opposite side had small rooms. It seemed private. One previously booked by someone.
Rengoku turned back to return to his cabin when the door beside him shot open.
Inside was a girl, who seemed to have frozen for a while.
âY/n?â
The girlâs eyes widened at the name which left rengoku's lips. She shut the door close, but it didn't closed, something was blocking it. The girl looked down, realizing rengoku had slipped his feet in to prevent her from doing that.
He barged the door open. âY/n right?â
The girl remained silent for some time.
âI apologize to you with all my might rengoku san. Please forgive my intrusiveness.â you said, lowering your head, nervous at the sudden appearance of him.
âGod you're even more beautiful than I thoughtâŠâ you shoot your head up only to see him looking with such dreamy eyes at you as if you're the only thing he's ever wanted to look at. And it made your stomach churn. Guilt rushed in each of your veins.
âRengoku san, i shouldn't have wrote those letters to you.â You say. Your friend had warned you before. You didn't listen.
âWhy?â He took a step closer.
You gulped before answering,âi wrote nonsense, pretending to be your wife I'm very sorry yoââ
âThen don't pretend anymore.â
âHuh?â
âBe my wife.â Rengoku suggested. His face now inches away from yours.
âAnd then she ran away?â Said daisuke, barely containing his laugh.
âYeahâŠdid I do something wrong?â Rengoku said with visible confusion plastered on his face. It was rare to see any expression other than his smiling face.
âOf course she would run away.â
âand why so?â
âRengoku san, a girl thinks about her future first after marriage. She knows nothing about you.â
âBut she wrote me lettââ
âWhich you didn't answeredâŠ.since you thought you couldn't fit your words in papers.â Rengoku couldn't say anything in his defense. It was true rengoku never replied to any of your letters. When he received the first one he thought someone was pranking him. But then the letters came continuously, one each month. He slowly fell in love with those. He fell in love with your letters. And somehow, he fell in love with you.
âThen what do I do?â
âBe honest, tell her about your salary and your job, tel her you can take care of her needs.â
âYeah? Kk I'm going thenâŠâ
Rengoku stood at the aomori station waiting for you to get on the train for your return. Upon spotting you, he called out for you. The train had a delay and he had a good 1 hour to make things clear.
âEh? R-rengoku san!â
âI work in demon slayer corps. And currently I'm in the highest rank which is kinoe. I get a decent salary of 42,500 yen. I live with my younger brother and father. My mother died a few years ago from illness. I spend my day training, slaying demons and rereading your letters,â guilt rushed through your veins again. âI promise, I will fulfill all your needs and treat you like my queen.â
ârengoku san...â
âsorry i didn't replied to any of those, I just couldn't express myself much in writing. If possible I would like to crawl into a hole. However you don't need to worry. I will make sure that I keep you happy.â
You frowned at his words, unable to explain him. How could you do that to him?
âY/n san, let's make the words on the letters true. Let's be husband and wife. I know that I work in an organization that isn't approved by governmââ
âRengoku san, shall we walk while talking? We are blocking the road.â you change the topic, not wanting to talk about it.
âSure.â
Rengoku continued telling you everythingâŠeverything about him. From his childhood till his mother's death. From his father's neglect, to his way up to kinoe, from his sword to the number of demons he slayed. You didn't believe in demons before, but now that rengoku tells you about this, demon folks is something you want to believe. You wanted to believe in everything he said. Even if he's telling the dumbest thing, far from reality, you wanted to believe it.
âY/n san! Look here!â You turn back to rengoku.
Click.
âAnd did she said yes?â
âMaybe. He didn't mention her answer. He was so happy that finally he met her.â
âYou must have seen her thenâŠcan you tell us how she looked?â
âI think I might have a photo of her. Rengoku san, asked to recieve a photo delivery, since he had a mission from the previous oyakata sama.â Daisuke got up limping to the one of the backrooms of his hut. He returned a few minutes later, handling a black and white photo to tanjiro.
Inosuke and zenitsu peeped from the sides to take a look at the long awaited moment, when they finally get to see y/n.
The photo was black and white, but tanjiro felt it was still colorful to rengoku san. In the photo there was a girl, young, with long beautiful hair, in a loose braid. She wore a flower hair ornament, which must have shone in gold back then. She was just how the udon owner described her, big doe eyes, pretty mouth, she looked educated. She was dressed in a floral patterned kimono. Zenitsu wondered what sort of colour the kimono would have been. He wondered if he could get a similar one for nezuko as a souvenir.
The girl was beautiful. Inosuke thought, she had similar smile to shinobu, he wondered if his momâs smile was like that.
The girl's reflection reflected in several mirrors behind her, and one of the mirror had caught the reflection of the one clicking the photoâ kyojuro rengoku.
âThe last I heard from rengoku san, he said she wanted to meet him before taking the mugen train mission. He seemed happy, maybe she agreed eventually to marry himâŠ.if only he didn'tâŠâ Daisuke didn't finished the sentence, considering his surroundings.
They sit in deafening silence for a bit.
A bit later tanjiro thanked Daisuke for the rice crackers and his help. He asked if it were okay to take the photo with him. Daisuke had no problem with that. After bidding farewell they continued their journey, unsure what to do next.
After two days of staying at an inn, cluelessly with no idea how to find y/n, inosuke suggests to go to the station from where they got on mugen train.
âIf we go to that lord's land and ask the people over there and show this painting of this long haired girl, then some might recognize her.â He had said.
âFirst of all that's a train station, second it's a photo. How can you still be the same stupid even after 3 years?â zenitsu cringed hard.
âwhaââ
âInosukeâs right zenitsu, we should go there and ask the people over there.â tanjiro said halting the cat and mouse fight which was about to start between the two.
Daisuke had said rengoku was about to meet her before the mission, which means before getting on the mugen train. Even if it is difficult, some locals must have seen even one glance of her.
The next morning, as per inosuke's idea, three of them left for the station.
âUmm excuse meâŠâ said tanjiro, forwarding the photo in front of the local he stopped on his way, âcan you tell me if you've seen this girl?â
The man gave a disgusted look at tanjiro. âno I haven't.â
âEhh? Are you sure you havenââ
âI don't have time for bullshit.â He went off ignoring tanjiro. Strange. People here are less friendly, some even get irritated if stopped on their way.
It's almost lunch time, zenitsu and inosuke had tried to stop the locals as tanjiro asked them about you. It was clear that this ain't ending soon. Especially when they've got nothing good in hand.
âLet's go buy something to eat.â
âYEAH! I'M HECK HUNGRY!!â
âI saw a kid wearing glasses, selling bentosâŠlet's buy some thenâŠshe went in that direction.â
Upon seeing the kid, tanjiro asked her to give them three boxes of bentos. It seemed similar to the ones they had three years ago. The girl was about to leave after receiving her payment, but tanjiro's instinct told him to stop her.
âWait!â The girl turned back to him as zenitsu and inosuke watched him, confused. Tanjiro put his hand inside the sleeves of yukata, taking out the only photo they had of you.
âHave you ever seen this girl around here?â
The girl squinted her eyes behind the round glass frames,ây/n san! Isn't she y/n sanâŠâ
Zenitsuâs eyes popped out, he wondered if tanjiro's a mind reader or something, how can he be so quick?
âYes! You know her? Can you tell us where she lives?â Tanjiro asked desperately.
âShe never mentioned that to usâŠâ the girl said frowning her eyebrows.
âOhâŠhow did you know her then?â
âWell, a demon slayer who saved us three years ago, requestedâŠâ
You waited for kyojuro to come. The sun shone brightly above you. The empty roadway started getting crowdy. You've had enough.
âY/n san. You wanted to see me?â kyojuro had become a hashira now, and amongst his tight schedule he barely had time for you. It's not like you were disappointed, but stillâŠyou and kyojuro often talked through phone booths, after you've suggested that casually one day while strolling with him. Last week when he called you, after what felt like years, you said you wanted to meet him soon. âfine meet me at the near hinakawa station, I will be waiting.â he'd said.
Though it was you, waiting for him to come. You've felt distant from him. And you didn't like it.
âI ran away.â You announced looking in his honey drizzled eyes. Though you aren't sure if it were your overthinking but those eyes seemed a bit dull today.
Kyojuro didn't say anything, maybe confused how to interpret your words.
âmy family's against us. And I'm against them. I left the old relations to form a new one. With whom I love. Let's get married.â You said taking his hand in yours.
Kyojuro said nothing but wrapped you in his arms. You hugged him tighter, never wanting to let go. âI'm not alone anymore.â He said before nuzzling his face on the crook of your neck.
Yes. You've always wanted to hear these words from his lips. You've wanted to let him know that he's not alone even when he thinks he is. You wanted him to know that there's someone who will always support him even if he's father thinks he has no talent. This was the reason you wrote him letters in first place. This was the reason you let yourself get tangled in a world far different from yoursâ in the world of kyojuro rengoku.
He left soon saying he will be back after completing a mission. He said he will send someone to you and asked you to wait for him till then. And you agreed gladly. About half an hour later a girl wearing round steel rimmed glasses along with her grandmother appeared.
âY/n?â You nodded your head at them. âRengoku sama asked us to keep you safe till he gets back. If you don't mind then you can come home with us.â
You got to know from the grandmother, how the rengokus had saved their lives two times. You've never seen kyojuro fight, but you knew he was hella strong. Still your heart sinks into your stomach whenever he mentions a mission. You've never encountered demons, once you didn't even believed in them, and now here you are nodding at each of those demon tales of the grandmother.
It didn't mattered anyway as long as he comes back safe. You have to wait for a while for him to comebackâŠ.after all you weren't doneâŠ.you still had an important thing to say.
âThen?â
âThen days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, the slayer never made its return. She left eventually, thanking us. We told her to wait for a while moreâŠbut she was too stubborn.â said the girl, fixing her specks again.
Tanjiro couldn't believe what he heard. Rengoku had so many things going on in his life. He had more priorities than him and his friends. Someone who was more important. Someone who left her entire family for him.
Yet.
And yet.
He chose to save them sacrificing himself.
He wondered if the you hate him now.
Zenitsu and inosuke were too stunned to speak. All of them were on the verge of crying. To thinkâŠthat he couldn't return because of them. To think that they played a role in ruining you happiness. That he died saving them.
âShe said she was going to asakusa at her friendâs house, named atsuko.â
Tanjiro bowed at the girl, he couldn't manage thanking her, since he knew if he draws one more breath trying to talk, he would break down right there.
The three of them took a train to asakusa after eating those bentos. They looked similar because rengoku had bought the same boxes from that bento girl 3 years ago.
Inosuke was oddly quiet inside the train. The other two also barely chatted before reaching their destination.
Tanjiro had visited asakusa before and he didn't liked that experience very much. Especially the narrow lanes. This time the city looked more developed than before. And it was more crowdy too. They made their way as the girl has previously informed, that atsuko works as a teacher in a big school for aristocrats.
Coincidentally, tanjiro found the same vendor from his last visit. Back then nezuko wasn't able to savor his ramens since she was a demon. He wished he brought her along. They ordered a steaming bowl of ramen, as the vendor was delighted seeing tanjiro again.
âWhere that bamboo girl you carried along with you?â
âShe's at home right now.â
âDon't give my wife stupid Nicknames.â ,shouted the blonde at the vendor. Tanjiro apologized in his stead as he kept fuming. âSo why are you three here all of a sudden? It's been long ain't it?â
âYeah we're looking for a girl named y/n. She has a friend who teaches in a big school named atsuko.â
âY/n never heard that sort of peculiar nameâŠâ
âare there any big schools in this area, where aristocrats study?â
âUmmâŠthere are a lot of big schools, you could go and ask at the library. There's only one library here and all the school students or teachers borrow books from there. They must know something about that.â
âOh really! Thankyou very much.â
Without any further do, the three of them went to the public library after eating.
âWoah this is so big.â Tanjiro said.
âIt has so many books shall I borrow some for nezuko chanâ zenitsu got lost in his dream world. Inosuke was quite whenever he gets in a new environment with a lots of people, so tanjiro didn't bother checking at him.
However, inosuke tugged on tanjiro's yukata pointing at something with his boar mask tugged on his head. Tanjiro could see his eyes popping out.
âWhat happened tanjiââ zenitsu choked on his spit. Tanjiroâs jaw dropped, his mouth open wide. Inosuke was pointing at a picture hung on the wall. Tanjiro took out the photo hurriedly from his sleeves.
There's no mistake. This was indeed the same girl. Underneath the painting was written âprincess akikoâ in bold letters carved carefully on metal.
âBut isn't her name y/n?â Said zenitsu. What's going on? Before tanjiro could say anything, a woman in her twenties bumped into them while rushing.
The photo slipped out from tanjiroâs fingers.
âI'm so sorrââ the women's words halted as she looked at the photo lying on the ground in front of her. She picked it up before tanjiro could.
âWhere did you get this picture from?â She asked as if it were a taboo to have this.
âAhh you know y/n?â
âY/n?â
âShe looks similar to the girl in that paintingâ the boy with the boar mask declared.
âFor the hundredth time inosuke it's a photo.â said zenitsu.
âShe doesn't looks like her. She is her. She is princess akiko. The youngest daughter of the imperial family.â
What?
Three of them couldn't believe their ears. âBut her name is y/nâŠâ whispered tanjiro in a low voice.
âJust who are you?â She looked at the picture carefully, as if hiding it from the world, âisn't this rengoku?â
âYou know rengoku san?â
âThat's the man who saved us from a fire incident in an old town. And then became the main reason of the storms in akikoâs life.â
Tanjiro's eyes widened at the mention of the fire incident âAre you atsuko?â
The women nodded, surprised they know her name. Tanjiro, then explained the whole matter.
âI see.â
âThis isn't right akikoâŠyou shouldn't have continued writing letters to him in first place.â Atsuko said trying to persuade her not to run away.
âI can't. I can't live here. They will never accept him. And I can't live without him.â
âAkiko, try to understandâŠrengoku loves y/n.â
âAnd i am y/n!â The sound of the rain pouring down increased.
âYou are princess akiko. Y/n is just a fake name, you created to hide your real identity when decided to write him letters. I supported you then since i thought it was a one time thing.â Atsuko shook the girl's shoulders trying to bring her to the path she considered right.
âBut I don't wanna be akiko. I wanna be y/nâŠy/n rengoku.â Tears fell from the eyes in front of her as sobs escaped her lips.
âYou're playing with rengokuâs feelings. Even if you run away, how do you intend to tell him the truth? You can't pretend to be y/n your entire life akiko.â
The girl didn't answered atsuko. That day slowly came to an end along with the rain. And Akiko did run away to rengoku, away from her pointless life, being a puppet in her family's hands.
âShe returned a month after she ran away. When I asked him about rengoku she said nothing. Soon her brother came and took her away.â Whispered atsuko in a voice so doleful, that it was clear, it hurted.
âDid rengoku san knew she was a princess?â Zenitsu asked.
âHe probably didn't. Akiko's family arranged several politicians later to set her up but she caused such a ruckus that her family gave up at last.â
âDo you know where she is nowâŠi need to deliver this letter to her.â Each word tasted like bile to him. He couldn't even imagine how miserable it had been. You literally rejected a crystal palace only to live a normal life with him. Which didn't even come true. How feverishly would it have hurt? How apathetic fate wasâŠ
âShe lives in osaka, running an orphanage. You would find her there. Shall I get someone two drive you three over there?â
âThat will be very thoughtful of youâ said tanjiro.
Atsuko arranged a driver, who would drive them to the orphanage, they expect to find you in. The car ride was even more silent than the train one. Inosuke, even, didn't make any fuss seeing a car for the first time.
âSo this is where princess akiko lives.â thought tanjiro. The building was similar to butterfly mansion, nothing that luxurious but quite spacious. The driver left soon after dropping them.
They crossed several corridors of children buzzing like bees. Laughter echoed among the hallways. How wonderful of a place for someone who lost their parents. Similar to them. They wondered if they would have grown up in this orphanage if they were born here.
Finally they reached to what seemed like an office. Similar to one shinobu used when researching herbs, the one which kanao uses now. They entered with a knock.
âY/n san?â
Your head perked up at the name, which once your beloved used to refer. That beloved who never came.
Your heart ached a bit expecting kyojuro. A melancholic smile forms on your face seeing three kids infront of you. Of Course it wasn't him.
âyes?â you said gently, trying not to give in to your emotions.
But tanjiro could smell it. He smelled the intense grief bubbling within you. He could imagine how long you've bottled up your emotions.
Without saying much, he took the letter out of his sleeve placing it on your desk.
âIt's been waiting for 3 years.â
âHuh?â
âRengoku san wanted me to deliver this to you. Sorry this took so long.â your hands froze at his name. Your chest heaved without even you realizing as you grab the letter.
A single drop of tear fell on the spot which had been previously stained with tears. Tears of kyojuro rengoku.
Your fingers shaked tracing your name on the letter. The name which he used to call. Y/n not Akiko.
You teared the seal, taking out a paper. It was filled with words. Words, he never thought he could express on paper.
Dear y/n,
If you're reading this, then I'm sorry. I might have broken my promise of protecting you forever because by the time you read itâ I will be dead.
Y/n i wanted to tell you, that I've loved you. I have loved you from the very beginning. Before even I saw you. You were the one who protected the flame in my heart. While others told me to set it ablaze, you made me learn how to keep the flame burning.
You were as beautiful to me as the rising sun. So bright, so clear. You were the epitome of my life. I wanted to live a peaceful life with you, in which my father let's go of his depression. In which your family accepts us. In which we don't have to hide from others. I wanted you to have my surname.
Your words were like the first rain of summer to me. You saved me from quenching my thirst by your words. I have been starvedâŠ. starved for so long that I forgot what being hungry for love feels like. Until you came into my life. you healed my heart, handled it as if it's porcelain.
I thought papers were something I would never choose to express myself with. But look at me now. Haha. I don't know why I'm writing it now, but I just feel like, the timeâs soon going to be over. And I feel like I will be gone without seeing your face.
Please don't hate me for that.
If I get to spend my life with you I will probably burn this off, but if this letter somehow unfortunately finds youâŠI want you to know, I gave my best. I gave my very best to save the ones surrounding me. That I fullfilled my duty till the end. So don't feel sad.
I still can't believe you chose to love me. If possible I would like to meet you in another birth, in another universe without demons, where I will be yours, completely yours. You're the best thing that happened to me, y/n. You're just perfect.
But I must sayâŠ.youâre dumb for choosing a man who bets his life for others, leaving the silver spoon you had in your mouth.
Sadly, our time was limited in this birth. Good bye princess akiko.
~ your kyojuro
The letter fell from your hands. Your lips quivering as you barely contained your tears, which stained the letter.
You just managed a smile at the kids who brought you this letter. He was no more. And you couldn't believe that. He knew you were Akiko not y/n. The truth you weren't able to tell him.
âI'm sorry for making this long. Rengoku san died saving us from a demon, 3 years agoâ said tanjiro, tears staining his cheeks. So do the others, barely containing their emotions.
âoh! But i-im glad you all are safe. H-he fulfilled his duties right?â
âDoes it hurts?â Tanjiro asked.
âA lot.â And if he wasn't seeing things, he saw rengoku for one second with a silly smile on his face, maybe wondering how to comfort you.
The second he blinked his eyes he was gone. What remained was his letter. Tanjiro handed the photo to you before leaving. He wondered if in another birth he gets to see the both of you reconcile.
He took a deep breath wanting to return to kanao. Maybe he would just ask her to marry him this year. He doesn't want to waste anymore time away from her.
âWhere were you?â Asked zenitsu to inosuke, who went missing for a while. They are currently waiting for a train to go back home.
âTo buy this.â Inosuke showed a butterfly hair pin decorated with blue crystals. It was beautiful.
âWoah. Who did you buy it for?â
âAoi.â Tanjiro chuckled at his bluntness, while zenitsu smirked. It's funny how inosuke still gets both of their names incorrect but he never made a mistake in saying aoiâs name correctly. Who knows they might have two weddingsâŠ
Now that tanjiro had finally payed off the debt, he wished you happiness as he looked forward to a happier future. He will remember you, not as princess akiko, but as y/n.
âLet's go! I can't wait to see nezuko!!â
âZenitsu watch out your way!!â
© strawberrymochin 24 | plagiarism won't be tolerated | comments are reblogs are appreciated | banners are by me |
#rengoku kyojuro#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#rengoku angst#rengoku fanfic#demon slayer angst#kyojuro x you#demon slayer kyojuro#demon slayer rengoku#demon slayer imagines#rengoku x reader#rengoku fluff#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer x you#kimetsu no yaiba x you#kimetsu no yaiba x reader#kny kyojuro#kyojuro x reader#tanjiro kamado#zenitsu agatsuma#inosuke hashibira#kny imagines#kyojuro rengoku#rengoku shinjuro#kny rengoku
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my two girls - l.n
Warnings: Mentions of a cut
Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader
When Lando held your baby girl for the first time, he vowed one thing, and that was that he wouldnât let a single person harm her in any way. She was his girl, as were you, the two loves of his life, and hed be damned if something happened to either of you.
Heâd spent ages at night, meticulously planning things to keep your little girl, Cherrie, safe and away from harm, including baby fences and safety measures for the house, as well as brainstorming personal and more emotional things.
The day heâd brought you back from the hospital, heâd said something that you were sure youâd never forget. âY/N,â he said, one hand on your waist as he led you into the house, âjust coz we have a baby now, doesnât mean I donât have to show my love for you anymore,â.
You knew what he meant, in some families, when they had kids, they refrained from showing their love for their significant other, but Lando didnât want that. He wanted to show his love for you every single day, when he woke up with his gorgeous lover.
âIm gonna show you how much I love you, and Iâm gonna show Cherrie what she deserves when she grows up and finds a man,â Lando promised you. He wasnât a crazily overprotective dad, actually, yes, he was very conservative with his family, but he wasnât madly controlling.
And one thing Lando loved to do was show Cherrie just how much he loved her. Like when she fell over one time whilst putting her shoes on, ready to go to the supermarket with you, and a little cut appeared on her knee. Before you could even do so much as turn around, Lando had ran down the stairs to her.
Yes, he was spoiling her. And he didnât care. He comforted her for ten whole minutes, before he led her to the kitchen to choose a plaster, and help her colour a heart into it, all whilst she forgot why she was even sad. And when she was asleep, heâd stay up at his keyboard, playing tuned and recording them.
âLove, what are you doing?â you asked, walking into the studio room as you wrapped a night gown round your body, eyes a little drooped. âRecording some stuff,â he said, turning to you with a smile. âWhat kinda stuff?â you asked, sitting on one of his thighs as he rested one hand on your back.
âJust some random stuff,â he said, refusing to elaborate as you hummed. And soon enough, you were asleep. The nights of Lando on the piano continued for months on end, before he finally beckoned you and your three year old daughter to the room.
âWhatâs this?â you asked, eyeing the CD he had in his hand as Cherie giggled, reaching for it. âWrote her a whole album,â Lando smiled, helping Cherrie pop the CD into the player. âAn album?â you gasped, eyes wide as the melancholy music played.
âSo she wonât fall for some stupid dweeb who plucked a few chords on the guitar when sheâs older,â Lando smiled to you, giving you a kiss on your cheek. HeâŠwrote an album? To prove to his daughter what she deserved in a man, and to set her standards how she deserved them to be.
time skip
âDaddy, I donât wanna stay here,â Cherrie cried as you held her hand, sighing as you knelt beside her. She really was a daddyâs girl, wasnât she? âWhoâs gonna keep mama company then, hm?â you asked, trying to persuade. âNo! I wanna keep daddy company,â she said, her eyes red. âBaby, itâs only the weekend, okay?â Lando said.
âBaby, she hasnât slept a single night,â you said once Lando had returned. âShit, really?â Lando said, his eyes wide as you nodded, a grimace on your lips. âFuck, let me go see her,â he said, walking into her room. âHey baby,â Lando says slowly as he walks in to see Cherrie on the bed.
âGo away!â she cried to him, âI hate you!â. Lando sighed, trying to walk back in but she wasnât having it. Poor thing, she really did miss Lando. It was really her fault. She was only three anyways. And the next time he had to leave - he didnât want to go through that again, as he thought.
âBaby,â he said slowly, kneeling to your daughterâs height. âIâve got something for you to remind you of daddy when heâs gone for weekend,â. Cherrie looked like she was about to cry again, before he held out the teddy in a orange McLaren hoodie and boots and a hat. And, well, Cherrie slept sweet and sound for the rest of the races.
time skip
Cherrie was 18 now, she was moving out to go to university, as Lando helped her sort through her boxes of what to bring. âIâm taking that,âshe stuffed something into a case. âWhatâs that?â Lando asked, looking up as he opened the bag to see. The bear. âY-You kept it?â he gawked at his daughter in shock.
#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris x you#lando x reader#f1#lando norris smut
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dance until we're bones
pairing: aaron hotchner x fem reader
summary: you and hotch both confront a lifetime of things left unsaid when a case forces your past into the light.
a/n: so i started this. two years ago. got 1k in and left it, came back now for some reason, wrote like a freak until it was done. lol. this is quite heavy and different than most things i usually write and it is SO much longer than expected but im very proud of it 𫶠i didn't really pay attention to the canon timeline so just know that reader and hotch were in their early and late 20s in law school (90s) and early and late 30s in present day (early 2000s). title from i lied by lord huron and allison ponthier
wc: 17.2k
warning(s): a lot of angst. typical bau case stuff, murder (familicide), implied/referenced past child abuse, reader and hotch go at it basically the whole time, character death, kidnapping, slight mention of drugging, injuries, mentions of blood. i wouldnât say a happy ending but a hopeful one
Hotch can barely stay awake.Â
He got the call thirty minutes to 4 a.m, and if he hadnât already been up, he would likely be in a much worse mood. He can only hope that the rest of the team has gotten used to rude awakenings at this point.Â
Itâs poor planning on his partâhe already got out late due to extra paperwork, and once he got home, he found himself staring at the wall, and then staring at the ceiling. If heâs lucky, heâll get to sleep on the jet. If things go the way they usually do, he wonât be out until their first night in a hotel.Â
He started making calls to the team on his way to the office, but to no oneâs surprise, he was the first one there. He had time to wash down a shitty office coffee and get started on a second one by the time everyoneâs there.Â
Morgan, Prentiss, and JJ all have coffeesâJJ comes prepared with her own thermos, but Morgan and Prentiss fall victim to the BAUâs supplyâReid is fighting back yawns as he tries to fix a hastily made tie, Garcia is slightly less energetic than normal as she passes out files, and somehow Rossi looks the same as always.Â
Hotch just hopes heâs put together enough to make the team feel better about being here at an ungodly hour.Â
âWelcome, welcome, welcome,â Garcia greets, setting down the last folder in front of Reid before taking her spot next to Hotch at the front. âAs lovely as it is to see all of you this morning, Iâm afraid that weâve got a grisly one on our hands, hence the hour.âÂ
âGreat,â Prentiss mutters. âHow bad is it?âÂ
âThree married couples have been murdered in St. Louis, Missouri in the past two months, with the most recent one happening yesterday,â Hotch says, and Garcia grimaces as she clicks onto the pictures. âMom and dad are killed, but the children are spared.â
âAwful lot of similarities between the parents,â Morgan says dryly as he flips through the folder. âLooks like our killer has some family issues.âÂ
Reid nods. âThe unsub likely stalks these families once they see the similarities. Iâm guessing he was abused as a child, seeing as they kill the parents but keep the children alive.â
âProbably has a grudge against his father,â Prentiss remarks. âThey make it out the worst every time.â
âThereâs no method to the torture,â Morgan says. âIt looks like heâs just trying to make it hurt as much as possible.âÂ
âOur guy probably isnât trained in anything, then,â Rossi says.Â
Reid flips to another page in the file. âSerial killers like to see their victims suffer. If heâs not torturing the mom physically, then heâs likely making her watch.â
âHe doesnât kill children, though,â JJ notes.Â
âMaybe he thinks heâs doing them a favor,â Reid says.Â
âThe unsub sees himself in the kids?â Morgan suggests. âHeâs doing what he didnât get the chance to do.âÂ
âWhatever it is, we have to keep a tight hold on this,â JJ says. âThe press eats this stuff up, and the last thing we need is a terrified city making it harder to do our jobs.â
âEspecially with families being killed,â Morgan murmurs.Â
JJ sighs. âIâll draft something on the jet and make some calls when we land.âÂ
Hotch nods and he closes his file. âWheels up in thirty. I hope youâre all ready for a long day.âÂ
-
The jet is silent the entire way to Missouri, full of sleeping agents trying to delay the inevitableâsave for JJ scribbling down notes on a legal pad for the first thirty minutes, but even she knocks out sooner rather than later. Thankfully, Hotch manages to fit an hour in himself, though it doesnât do very much for him. He spends the rest of the time reading through the case file.Â
The team settles in quickly at the cityâs precinct, and Hotch takes charge as usual. The uniforms are just as tired as they are, but he makes it work. Soon enough, JJ is off to work with the local liaison to craft a narrative, Reid has situated himself in an empty conference room to get to work analyzing maps with Garcia, and Hotch and the rest go to check out the crime scene.Â
Itâs brutalâmuch too brutal for this early, but Hotch forces the emotions out of it and gets to work questioning the present officers. Morgan follows suit, with Prentiss and Rossi going to investigate the rest of the house.Â
They donât learn much from the officers that they donât already know. This is the most recent crime sceneâGeorge and Marsha Springfield, undeserving of such a grisly fate. Their two kids, 8 and 9, were off visiting their grandparents in Nebraska when it happened, and though they avoided the same fate, theyâre going to deal with a lifetime of guilt.Â
Itâs all Hotch can think about as he examines the first body. The six children left to deal with the carnage, about their past and future marred against their control.Â
All he can think about is Jack, and the dreary fate that awaits him if his father falls in the field. Â
Hotch swallows his doubt and his guilt all in one and forces every thought out of his mind. He has to be unshakable for the team, for whatâs left of these families, for a city on the brink of hysterics.Â
Theyâll find whoever did this. Thatâs what gets him through it.Â
They spent early morning at the crime scene, collecting evidence and gathering information from the officers and trying to make sense of the killerâs motive. Progress is slow, partially because of the hour, but they make enough that Hotch feels comfortable moving onto the next job.
Their four a.m. start time was too early to go knock on doors and get interviews, but now itâs a more normal 10 in the morning. After a quick stop back at the station to share information with Reid, Garcia, and JJ and down a few cups of coffee, they get right back on the road. Â
Hotch and Prentiss take one van and Morgan and Rossi take the other, splitting up to get what they can from interviews. Itâs difficult working with kids, especially with such recent trauma, so they hold off on it for now, allowing the local uniforms that have been with them for a bit longer to set things up before the BAU tries anything.Â
First they go to a neighborâs house, then an alleged eye witness. They donât get much other than personality reads, but it at least gives them the beginnings of a profile. The third place they hit is their earliest idea of a suspect.Â
âLucas Hartford,â Prentiss reads off the file one of the local officers had put together. âThirty-nine, born and raised in St. Charles, Missouri. High school degree, but never got to college because he was in and out of jail.âÂ
âWhat has he been charged for?âÂ
âBooked a few times for public intoxication and convicted three times for assault. Once was for third-degree assault, Missouriâs version of aggravated assault,â she says. âHe got out of jail a little less than a year ago, and it looks like heâs been living in St. Louis for some of that.â
âAssault and drinking is a far cry from serial killing, even aggravated,â Hotch says. âWhat makes him a suspect?â
âBoth parents are dead,â she says. âAnd from the looks of it, it was not a happy home while they were around. Heâs got a sister, so it fits the initial theory of trying to replicate his family.â
Hotch lets out a loose breath and nods. âWeâll start there. Try and get a story from this guy, build a profile, see if it matches the one Morgan and Rossi have made for their guy.â
âAnd hope we pin something down before more bodies show up,â Prentiss murmurs.Â
Theyâre at their destination soon enough, and Hotch parks in an open spot on the other side of the road. His eyes dart around as they walk up to the front door, filing things away in the back of his mind.Â
The house number and last nameâ1432, Hartfordâon the mailbox plagued with rotting wood. What there is of a yard is poorly cut, and a small garden of wilted flowers has their own corner, victims of the winter weather. One car is parked slightly crooked in a small drivewayâthereâs no garage, so at least heâs probably home. Two potted plants sit on either side of the door, thankfully alive.Â
âRemember,â Prentiss says as they come to a stop together, âbe nice.âÂ
âIâm plenty nice,â he murmurs, and she huffs the slightest laugh.Â
Hotch knocks on the door as Prentiss fishes around for her ID, and thankfully, they donât wait long. The door cracks open after a few seconds to reveal a womanâcertainly not their unsub, but something a whole lot more surprising.Â
You.
Your brows furrow at the sight of him, and Hotch has to hold back his shock.Â
You donât live in St. Louis. And your last name certainly isnât Hartford.Â
âAaron?â you ask in disbelief, and he doesnât even have to look at Prentiss to know the questions heâs going to get later.
He says your name, able to control his surprise with only the slightest crease of his brows giving it away, then corrects himself just as quickly. âMiss Hartford. My name is SSA Aaron Hotchner, and this is SSA Emily Prentiss. Weâre here with the FBI.âÂ
Your frown deepens as they show their IDs, and you actually take it from Hotch, skeptical eyes scanning over it for much too long. You glance back at him as you hand it back over. âWhat is the FBI doing here?âÂ
Emily clears her throat as she puts her credentials away. âWeâre here investigating the latest murders in St. Louis. Can we come in?â
âThe murders?â you ask with exasperation. âWhatâ what murders? And what do I have to do with them?âÂ
Aaron notices the way your grip tightens on the door just the slightest bit, and a shred of sympathy strikes him before he speaks up.
âWeâll be able to explain everything if you let us in,â he says.Â
You swallow thickly in your throat, your gaze darting back to Aaron before you finally nod. âOkay. Sure. Why not?â
You move and Hotch and Prentiss walk inside, gesturing with a hand towards your living room as you shut and lock the door behind them. âTake a seat. Uhâ do you guys need anything? Water, or coffee, orâŠâÂ
You trail off, and Prentiss shakes her head. âThank you, but thatâs not needed.â She takes a seat on the sofa, but Hotch canât stop himself from looking around the house.Â
Itâs a small place, one storyâlikely rented, seeing how paintings sit on countertops and mantels rather than hanging on the wall. It has a certain charm to it, but something is off about it all.Â
Two styles clashâdecorative pillows at odds with a filled and painted-over hole in the wall, an attempt at neutral tones ruined by dark articles of clothing scattered around, one personâs mess barely being held back by anotherâs cleaning efforts. You lived with someone else. Likely Lucas Hartford, possibly their unsub.Â
âAre you gonna sit down, Aaron?â you ask, snapping him out of his profiling haze. âOr do you want to look around some more?âÂ
âIâm sorry,â he says, clearing his throat as he walks over and sits down in an open chair near Prentiss. âJust curious.âÂ
âThat makes two of us,â you say, and you cross your arms as you look at him. He notices that you donât sit down yourself, and thereâs still a coldness in your eyes. âYouâre FBI now?âÂ
He nods. âI had a change of heart.âÂ
You huff a laugh. âThought at least one of us would be a lawyer by now. I guess not.âÂ
Hotch frowns, but Prentiss takes over before he can continue on that particular thread. âMiss Hartfordââ
You interrupt by saying your first name, and it spurns something strange in his chest. Itâs been over a decade since heâs heard your voice. âYou can skip the formalities.âÂ
Prentiss nods and repeats your name. âAs you know, weâre investigating the murders that have been occuring in the St. Louis area.âÂ
âAnd you think I have something to do with it?â you ask, the accusatory edge to your voice not lost on him.Â
âNot you,â Hotch says. âDo you know a Lucas Hartford?â
âHeâs my brother,â you say, and your frown deepens. âYouâre not sayingââ
âNo,â Prentiss interrupts, âweâre not saying anything. Weâre just asking.â
And just like that, your entire stance, your visage, it all changes. Hotch can sense the walls slamming up around you, and he immediately realizes two things:Â
Getting information out of you is going to be much harder than planned, and youâre not anywhere near the same person you used to be.Â
Hotch doesnât know what he expects, really. He graduated with the intent to prosecute for at least a decadeânow, heâs with the BAU. Itâs not fair to assume youâre that same girl he met in law school.Â
âMy brother is not a murderer,â you state clearly.
âAnd we arenât accusing him or you of anythingââ she starts.Â
âMe?â you interrupt, and you let out a harsh laugh. âIâm a suspect too?â
âIf you would allow Agent Prentiss to finish her sentences, you would be less upset,â Hotch says.Â
You glower at him, but you stay silent.Â
âWe arenât accusing either of you of anything,â Prentiss finishes. âWeâre just trying to gather information with what little we know.âÂ
âI know my rights,â you say, unflinching gaze still meeting Hotchâs. âI donât have to tell you anything.â
Prentiss looks at him as well, but his eyes donât leave yours. âThatâs unfortunate to hear, Miss Hartford.â
âYou know my name, Aaron. Use it.â
He does, and the letters feel strange on his tongue after so long. âThis is a serious matter. This isnât an accusationâweâre in the early days of this case and we need all the information we can get.âÂ
âAsk away,â you say. âDoesnât mean Iâll answer.âÂ
âLucas Hartford,â Prentiss starts. âHeâs your brother?âÂ
You nod. âHe lives with me.âÂ
He lives with me, not we live together. Makes him think that you pay for the place, he came knocking, and you didnât have the heart to turn him away.Â
âWhy is that?â Hotch asks.Â
You look at him, those scrutinizing eyes attempting to peer into his soul the same way they did all those years ago. But Hotch has changed since law school, and heâs much better at guarding his emotions. It seems you are, too.Â
âHeâs a student,â you finally say. âHe goes to community college. Iâm giving him a place to live while he gets his associateâs.â Â
âCommunity college and living with his younger sister at 39?â Prentiss is trying to get information out of you, even if it isnât in the kindest way. Your jaw clenches, and he knows her words have some effect. Youâve probably heard it more than once, the way things are going.Â
âHeâs getting his life back on track,â you say defensively. âIâm the only one left that can help him, so I am.âÂ
âWhat about your parents?â she asks. âSurely theyâre a better option than this.âÂ
âBoth dead,â you answer. âAnd no one else cares enough to help him. Are you here to do anything other than dig up my past?âÂ
Hotch feels Prentissâs eyes on him, likely because itâs a step in the right direction for a really shitty reason, but he canât look away from you.Â
âReally?âÂ
He knows your parents are deadâit was in your brotherâs profile, and by extension it applies to youâbut it still hits him.Â
He met your mother, had countless lunches and dinners with her. Helped her move out of her old house. Spent two Thanksgivings and a Christmas with her.Â
And he didnât even know when she died.Â
You shrug and wrap your arms around yourself, and for the first time you look something other than defensive or standoffish. You lookâ well⊠sad.Â
âMom went a few years after you graduated,â you say, looking at Hotch. âDad went last year.â
âIâm sorry for your loss,â Prentiss says.Â
You nod your thanks, the notion a bit numb.Â
âYou never told me,â Hotch says with a slight frown.
âWe havenât talked in ten years,â you say. âSorry that I didnât know you still wanted updates.âÂ
Hotch tries to think of something to say in response, but Prentiss starts getting a call and she stands up. âExcuse me.âÂ
His jaw clenches for a moment as Prentiss ducks into a nearby bedroom, but heâs recovered by the time you look at him again. Your arms are crossed, but your expression is even.Â
âI take it this was as much of a surprise for you as it is for me.âÂ
Hotch nods. âWe came here looking for your brother.âÂ
âDoes your team know about our history?â you ask simply.
âNo.âÂ
âDo you want them to?âÂ
ââŠNo.âÂ
You huff a laugh, your eyes narrowing a bit. ââCourse not. Probably counts as conflict of interest.âÂ
You wait another beat, then ask another question. âHowâs Haley?â
âGood, last I heard,â he says, and then he hesitates. âWeâre⊠divorced.â
Your eyebrows shoot up. âReally?â
He nods. âThis job isnât easy for anyone.â
You look like you want to say more, but once again, Hotch is saved by Prentiss as she walks back in. Her phone is closed in her hand and she looks at him. âMorgan and Rossi have a lead. The chief wants everyone back at the precinct to go over everything weâve found.âÂ
Hotch nods again and stands up. Prentiss takes her card out of her pocket and holds it out to you.Â
âThank you for your time, Miss Hartford. If you find out any information, or want to tell us anything else, please give me a call.âÂ
âPass that along to your brother, too,â Hotch says.Â
You reluctantly take the card, but you donât look at it. âYou can see yourselves out.âÂ
Prentiss nods. âThank you again. Have a good day, and stay safe.âÂ
She leads the way, and Hotch follows after her. He fights the urge to look back before he shuts the door.Â
Prentiss looks at him as they walk back to the car, and he can only imagine what is going through her mind. But eventually she just shrugs and pulls out her phone again.Â
âGarcia?â Prentiss asks after she picks up.Â
âYouâve reached the office of all that is holy.â Penelopeâs voice comes out through the speaker, and Hotch canât help the smallest twitch of his lips. âWhatâs up?âÂ
âDig up everything you can find on Lucas Hartford,â Emily says, and her glance at Hotch does not go unnoticed. âAnd throw in his sister, too. Heâs one of our only suspects, and we need to know if sheâs in on it.âÂ
âOn it,â Garcia says. âIâll call you back when Iâm done.âÂ
âYouâre the best,â she says, and then she hangs up. They get back to the car, and it only takes Prentiss all of five seconds after they get in for her to start drilling him.
âAlright,â she says, buckling her seatbelt with a click before she sets her attention on him. âWhat was that back there? You two know each other?â
Hotch busies himself with his own seatbelt and starting the car, answering as casually as possible as the engine revs to life. âWe were friends in law school.â
âSure,â Prentiss nods. âThe way you were around her, thatâs not just âlaw school friendâ stuff.â
Hotch is once again reminded of how, sometimes, it was a downfall to constantly be around profilers. It was nearly impossible to keep anything a secret.Â
âItâs nothing,â he says as he pulls back onto the road. âWe knew each other, we fell apart, weâre here now.â
Emily hums. âIs it too far to ask if you were together?â
âYes,â he says sternly, maybe a bit too hasty. âIt is.â
âFine,â she says breezily, and she looks out the window. âBut that tension was thick.âÂ
Hotch knows what sheâs thinking. Hasnât he been with Haley since high school, what kind of history did you and him have, were you together, would he be okay to work this caseâÂ
He doesnât really want to answer any of them. You were a part of his past he hadnât expected to resurface any time soonâif Hotch is being honest, he didnât know if he would ever see you again once he graduated. Not after the way he broke things off. Â
Youâve changed a lot. So has he.Â
And now your brother is a murder suspect, and you could be covering up for him.Â
Thatâs the only thing that should be on his mind.Â
-
âFor the last time,â you huff as you storm down the stairs, âI donât want to deal with this.âÂ
âBecause you know that Mia is a lying bitch!â Cleo exclaims, following after you. âIâm sick of you stealing my clothes!â
âIâm not stealing your clothes,â Mia scoffs in your wake, just behind Cleo. âTheyâre too ugly for me to want anyways. I bet I wouldnât even fit into them.â
âYou are! And youâre stealing my fucking jewelry, too!â she yells. âAll of my shit is going missing, and I know itâs not Little Miss Law School, so itâs got to be you!âÂ
Mia draws out a mirthless laugh. âYou are not accusing me of this.âÂ
âI donât have anyone else to accuse!â Cleo shouts.Â
They both look at you, and Mia says your name. âYou have to settle this before I kill her.â
âOh, Iâll kill you first!â she hisses. âAt least Iâll get all my stuff back!â
You clench your jaw as your nails dig into your palms, and youâre about to bite back when the doorbell rings. You donât even try to hide your sigh of relief.Â
âThatâs Aaron,â you say as you grab your coat and your bag from the table. âIâm leaving. If you kill each other, donât get blood on the furniture.â
You donât give them a chance to say anything before you rush to the door, open it, and shut it behind you.Â
âYou have no idea how happy I am to see you,â you breathe.Â
âWhatâs going on in there?â Aaron asks, amused.Â
âMy roommates are fighting again.â You roll your eyes. âIt doesnât matter. Youâre much more interesting.â
âYou know this is a study date,â he says wryly, and you cut him off with a kiss.Â
âStill a date,â you murmur against his lips. âAnd something seriously needed.â
Aaron chuckles as he wraps an arm around you, pulling you into his side, and the two of you walk to his car. âYouâve gotta get out of this house, honey.â
âI know,â you grumble. âBut I canât afford a place on my own.â
âDoesnât have to be on your own,â he says as he opens the door for you. âIt just has to be away from the girls that are making you miserable.â
âThe lease ends at the end of the semester,â you sigh. âJust have to make it until then.â
âYou know,â Aaron boxes you in against the car when you lean against the side of it, smiling softly at you, âI do live alone.â
âOh yeah?â You ruffle his hair with your fingers and grin. âWhat are you proposing?â
He shrugs, letting his hands linger on your waist. âJust that you hate your roommates, and you donât hate me. You could spend your time somewhere else.âÂ
âCareful,â you warn. âYou keep saying things like that and we might not make it to the library.âÂ
âYou keep saying things like that, and I might not mind,â Aaron muses.Â
You grin as he leans in and kisses you again, once, twice, three times as your back hits the side of his car and you card your hands through his hair. Mia and Cleo are probably killing each other inside, but you donât really care at this point. Theyâve made your life hell for a semester and a halfâthey can bother each other for once.Â
âAaron,â you whisper against his lips, and he gets one more in between words, âIâve got a test on Tuesday.â
âAnd todayâs Sunday.â He nips at your neck and you laugh, your eyes falling shut as you lean your head back. âYouâll be fine, honey.â
âYou have one on Monday,â you remind him, and he sighs. You feel his hot breath against your neck.Â
âRuining our fun in the name of schoolwork,â he says. âNo wonder all your professors love you.â
âEveryone loves me,â you correct. âIncluding you.â
You steal one more kiss before you open your door yourself and get in, and Aaron lets out a breathy laugh.
âYouâve got that right.â
He closes your door then gets in the other side, and youâre already rifling through the glove box full of cassettes. You pull out the mixtape you made for him for your six month anniversary and pop it into the player, and Aaron smiles as the first few notes of Stairway to Heaven come on.Â
âYouâre a threat to my grades, yâknow.â
âMaybe itâs all part of my plan,â you say. âDistract you with kisses to make sure Iâm a shoe-in for this fellowship.â
âA dastardly plan,â he says with mock austerity.Â
âIâve been told I have to be more of a shark,â you muse. âConsider this me taking down my competition.â
Aaron laughs, and you find yourself smiling just at the sound of it. You love the way his eyes crinkle at the corners, how they soften just so, how he acts like himself around you, and not some perfected or stoic image that he thinks he needs.Â
Falling in love with Aaron Hotchner has been the easiest thing in the world.Â
âDonât let anyone know,â he says, and he reaches over to intertwine your fingers together. âBut Iâll happily fall to you every time.â
âAs long as you donât tell everyone how whipped I am for you,â you tease.
âLooks like weâve both got reputations to keep up.â
âLooks like it.â
You share a smile, yours just on the edge of a grin as you try to bite it back. You hold hands the rest of the way, just soaking in each otherâs presence with songs from bands you introduced to each other floating through the air.Â
(It is a goddamn struggle to get any work done at the library with that face across from you the whole time.)
-Â
You had sky-high aspirations when you were younger.Â
Ones that would make your teachers offer a smile and tell you to shoot a little lower, that would make your friendsâ eyes widen, that your father would scoff at and your mother would humor you on just to get you to move past it.Â
You didnât listen. Youâve wanted to be a lawyer since you went on a class field trip to a courthouse in elementary school and saw all the attorneys hustling about, dressed to the nines, making last-minute deals outside the courtroom. Â
They were just⊠so confident. So smart, so stoic, always knowing the answer to everything. The good ones had money, sure, but more importantly they had the power to change lives for the better. And as a kid that had to cover up bruises before the school day, nothing sounded more appealing.Â
All youâve ever wanted to do is help people.Â
And as you sit in a cold, empty interrogation room, you canât help but wonder where the hell you went wrong.Â
You donât want to be here, obviously. But you know the FBI wonât stop bugging you until you give them answersâyou know Aaron Hotchner wonât stop bugging you.Â
Because godâ what are the odds?Â
What are the fucking odds of your ex-boyfriend from a decade ago showing up at your door with a badge and an attempted case against your brother?Â
Itâs ridiculous, and itâs such bad luck that you think it could only happen to you. Youâve thought about Aaron Hotchner more than youâd like to admit over the years, especially when you found your old GW crewnecks, and the box of school supplies you used for a decade, and those photo albums from what shouldâve been your golden years.Â
Itâs not like any of it matters, though. You only agreed to come in and talk because you want them off your back and you donât want them poking around your house. You saw it in Aaronâs eyesâhe was profiling you and your place the entire time.Â
If the cops want to invade your privacy even further, they can get a goddamn warrant.Â
Your thoughts are interrupted when the door opens, and you hold back a mirthless laugh, because of course itâs Aaron. He greets you with your name, and he has a file in his hands. You wonder if itâs on you or your brother. âThank you for taking the time out of your day to come in and talk with us.â
âWell, you seem to think my brother is a murderer.â You cross your arms as you sit back. âIâm not really gonna let that stand.â
âIâm surprised you havenât asked for a lawyer,â he says as he sits down across from you.Â
âI donât plan to be here for very long,â you respond tartly. âBut donât worryâthat can always change. I know my rights.âÂ
âIâm the last person you need to tell that to.â Hotch sets the file down and looks right at you. Though heâs obviously olderâmore grizzled, more hardened; harsher, sharper lines that define his face; lips set in a taut, unflinching lineâyou still see that young man from law school. The passion, the care he puts into everything, the penchant for striped ties.Â
You wonder what he sees when he looks at you.Â
âYour last name wasnât Hartford when I met you,â he says. âWhy is it now?âÂ
âNot one for small talk,â you remark.Â
âI never have been.âÂ
âI remember.â You hold his gaze. âItâs my momâs maiden name. I changed it to put some distance between me and everything else.âÂ
You can practically see the gears of his brain working, neural pathways branching off with every word you say to make sense of it and reason a thousand different meanings from it. Aaronâs always been like that, but itâs tenfold now.Â
You suppose one has to be like that, to try and get anywhere with the types of criminals they face.Â
âHow long have you been living in St. Louis?â
âSeven years. Iâve had that house for three.âÂ
âRent or own?â
âRent,â you scoff. âI donât make enough for a down payment, and I donât want a place tying me down.â
âWhat inspired the move?â
âClose enough to home to be familiar, far enough to not be.âÂ
âAnd home is?âÂ
âSt. Charles,â you say, and you purse your lips. âShouldnât you already know all this?â You nod at the file in front of him. âItâs either on me or my brother, and we share a lot of the same info.âÂ
âWe prefer to get our information from the source,â he says.Â
âSources can lie.âÂ
Aaron doesnât waver. âAnd we can charge you with obstruction if it harms our investigation.âÂ
Your lips twitch for a moment, not entirely without heart. âAsk your questions, Aaron.âÂ
He opens the folder and slides the first picture over to youâyour brotherâs first mugshot, taken when he was only twenty-one. You still remember riding your bike to the station in the sweltering August heat to drop off his bail and pick him up.Â
You had to catch the bus home together, you had to pay his fare, and his bail drained everything youâd been saving from your waitress job. But your dad refused to pay it, and you refused to be alone in that house any longer than you already had.Â
You swallow the memory. It still tastes as sour as the day it happened.Â
âLucas Hartford is our main suspect,â he says. âHe matches our initial profileâin and out of jail since his twenties, his parents are dead and he has an unstable home life, and heâs got a sister.â  Â
âNone of those sound like questions,â you say.Â
âWhere is your brother?â he asks firmly. Heâs given you a bit of leniency, but you can tell heâs getting tired of you. Some things never change, you think to yourself bitterly.Â
âI donât know,â you admit.Â
âYou donât know,â he repeats.Â
âI let him stay with me, and my only requirement is that he goes to his community college classes and stays out of jail,â you say. âHeâs done both, so I stay out of his business.â
âAnd youâre telling me you havenât questioned it?â
âI called him the other day after you left,â you say. âHe didnât pick up, and I didnât get a call back until the next night.âÂ
Aaronâs eyes sharpen. âWhat did you say to him?âÂ
âI called to see where he was,â you say evenly. âI think you all are wrong, but I wanted to make sure he was okay.âÂ
âYou didnât tell himââÂ
âNo,â you interrupt, âI didnât tell him about your investigation. If I think youâre wrong, why would I need to let him know?âÂ
He still has that look in his eyes, and you know youâre getting on his nerves with the constant interrupting, the constant backtalk. But he probably deals with much, much worse.Â
âGood,â he nods. âYou could be putting lives in danger if you doâincluding yours.âÂ
âPlease,â you scoff. âHe wonât hurt me. He never has.âÂ
âWhy do you let him stay with you?â Aaron asks. âYouâre straight-edge, heâs a borderline alcoholic thatâs been in and out of jail for years. Youâve got a law degree, he never made it past high school. Youâve got your life together, his is falling apart.âÂ
âThatâs why I do it,â you say. âOur parents are dead. Iâm all he has left, and heâs all I have left. I want him to get better, so Iâm trying my best to help him get there. How can Luke put his life back together if heâs got no support?âÂ
âThatâs an awful lot of faith to put in someone who hasnât earned it.âÂ
âIâve gotten good at that over the years,â you reply.Â
Aaron stares at you, and you stare back. You let the moment linger. You hope it stings, even fleetingly.Â
âAnd youâre wrong, by the way.âÂ
âAbout what?â he asks. Again, unshaken.Â
âI donât have a law degree,â you say. âI dropped out.âÂ
And for some reason, that is what gets him. He frowns, and you wonder what it means that this is the most unexpected thing heâs gotten out of you.Â
âWhy? You were only a year out. You had stellar grades.âÂ
âMy mom got cancer,â you say. âLuke was serving his second stint, Dad fucked off to some corner of the country to drink himself to death a couple months before. I was the only one left to take care of her, and I couldnât do that from DC.âÂ
âI had no idea.â This is the first time he looks taken aback since youâve met him again. âAnd sheâsââ
âDead,â you supply without waiting for an answer. You know he already knows it, but it still seems to have some effect on him. âWent a couple months after I was meant to graduate.âÂ
ââŠIâm sorry for your loss,â he says. Heâs just repeating what his agent said at your house, but it feels genuine, at least.Â
âItâs been a decade,â you say. âIâm just sorry it was her instead of my dad.âÂ
Aaronâs brows knit together again, and less work goes into covering it up this time. âYou seem to have something against your father.âÂ
You huff a mirthless laugh. âExcellent profiling.âÂ
âChild abuse is common for serial killers,â Aaron says. âWe find itâs typically the root of their problems later in life, or plays a part in their MO.âÂ
You stare at him again. This isnât just an interrogation with Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchnerâitâs revealing parts of your past that you never told your ex-boyfriend Aaron.Â
âYeah,â you finally say. âOur dad beat us. Is that what you wanted to hear?âÂ
âYou know thââÂ
Aaron cuts himself off before he can finish whatever he wants to say, and he lets out a short sigh with a nod. âItâs valuable information for the profile.âÂ
The room feels a lot colder all of a sudden. âSure.âÂ
He still looks like he wants to say more, but he bites his tongue as he takes the picture back and closes the file.Â
âIâll be back,â he says. âWould you like anything? Water?â
You shake your head and remain silent. He takes the folder and stands up, and you watch him the entire way to the door. Just before he can open it, you find words escaping without you thinking.Â
âLook, Aaron,â you blurt out. He pauses, and he turns to look at you. âI know this is your thing, and this is your investigation, but Iâm telling youâmy brother and I donât play any part in it.âÂ
âThe profileââÂ
âI donât care what your profile says,â you interrupt. âHe didnât do it. He couldnât have done it.âÂ
âHeâs rough around the edges, I know. In and out of jail isnât good for anyone.â You hold onto the edge of the table as you continue rambling, needing something to do with your hands. âBut heâs working to get better, and he is not the kind of person to do something like this. If you believe anything I say, believe that.âÂ
âI suppose weâll find out,â he says evenly.Â
He leaves the room, and your hands fall into your lap as your nails dig into your palms. You donât mean to be desperate, but you feel it. Youâve been defending Lucas at every chance, but youâre terrified of being wrong. Youâre terrified that Aaron might be rightâthat he might be behind all of this.Â
For his sakeâand your sake, honestly, because you think you deserve to be selfish when heâs all you have leftâyou hope youâre right.Â
You have to be right.Â
The room feels even colder.Â
Your stare drifts to the one-way mirror, where you know his team is watching. You saw the way Agent Prentiss watched Aaron when they came to your houseâhe said he doesnât want them to know, but you think they already do.Â
You wonder the kind of things theyâve come up with about you and him.Â
-
Morgan whistles when Hotch walks out of the interrogation room.Â
âShe does not like you.âÂ
âDid you gather anything else?â he asks placidly. He sets your brotherâs file down so he can fix his tie.Â
âAbusive dad, dead parents, criminal background,â he says. âLucas is looking like a stronger suspect. Ohâ and she really doesnât like you.âÂ
âIf you donât want to go back to building a file on your suspect, move on,â Hotch demands.Â
Morgan shrugs, clearly unfazed, but he keeps his mouth shut. Reid, meanwhile, is still staring through the glass at you. You havenât exactly relaxed, but youâre not as tense as you were while talking to Hotch. You pick at a loose strand of thread on your sweater, and when you pull it out, you let it fall to the floor.Â
âHer brother feels like a prime suspect,â Reid murmurs. âI feel like I could just figure it all out if I could talk to him.âÂ
âI told Penelope to keep an eye on him,â Prentiss contributes. âSheâs tracking his cards, the car registered in his name, even called the person in charge of the AA meetings he goes to to keep an eye outâeverything. Weâll know if she gets anything.â
âSerial killers want to see the damage theyâve done,â Reid says. âThings are falling apart hereâthe whole city is terrified. Heâs gotta be in St. Louis still.âÂ
âYouâre sure that heâs still in the running.â Hotch glances back at you, and he knows he has to at least ask, for your sake. He doesnât want to put you through anything more than he has toânot after what youâve told him.Â
And Hotch knows your past is your businessâhe just canât believe you never told him.Â
Heâs turned over your relationship in his head just as many times in these past few days as he did the months after he ended things.Â
âIâm sure, sir,â Reid says. âIâve read over both their files, and Lucas matches with our preliminary profile. His stressor could have been his father dying.â
Morgan frowns. âExplain.â
âFamily annihilators typically go after their own family for a myriad of reasons,â he says. âParanoia, to cover up their lies, to free themselves from what they see as oppression, sometimes just pure jealousy.â
âHeâs killing the parents but leaving the children alive,â Hotch says. âSounds like a liberator to me.â
âThatâs what I think,â Reid nods. âIf Lucas has been banking on killing his father for that attempt at freedom, and then lost the chance?â He shrugs. âThat could be why he started going for other families.âÂ
âOther fathers to take his place,â Morgan realizes, and he nods again.Â
âYou should talk to her, Spence,â Prentiss says. âYouâve got a handle on the profile, and youâre pretty good at conveying info. She seems like a reasonable personâjust canât accept her brother doing something like this.âÂ
âItâs typical for someone to deny their family memberâs involvement,â Reid says. âNo one wants to think their sibling is a murderer.âÂ
âIf you lay it all out for her like that, with facts and the profile, I think sheâll listen.â Prentiss looks at Hotch. âSheâs too closed off with you.â
âThatâs how she is,â Hotch claims.
âMaybe,â she shrugs, âbut itâs much easier to hate you than it is to hate Reid.âÂ
Hotch glares at her, and Reid clears his throat to insert himself back into the conversation.Â
âIâd be happy to talk to her,â he says. âI know what itâs like to be in this kind of positionâI can put her at ease, sympathize with her.âÂ
They all look at Hotch, and he wants to say no. He wants to be the one to get this out of youâsome part of him wants as much time with you as possible. But he decides to swallow his ego.Â
âFine.â He nods, and he hands the folder to Reid. âI trust you to handle it.âÂ
Reid nods too, far too many times, and he takes the file. âThank you. Uhâ sir. I appreciate your trust.âÂ
âYeah, yeah,â he says, but it has no bite to it, and Reid walks inside.Â
He says your name and sits down across from you. âIâm Spencer Reid. I know weâve already said it, but thank you for talking to us. It may not seem like it, but it goes a long way towards figuring out this case.â
You nod. You already seem more at ease than you were with him, and it makes HotchâŠÂ
Not jealous, because that would be insane. But it makes him upset that he doesnât understand you the way he used toâthat he doesnât hold that key to you anymore. God, it feels like he doesnât know you anymore.Â
Hotch doesnât get why a side of his brain still thinks this way about you.Â
âThey sent a new one in,â you say.Â
âYou looked like you needed a break from Hotch,â Reid says. âDonât worry. We all do sometimes.â
You huff a slight laugh and your posture eases, your expression softens just so. Reid was right, as usual.Â
âI can imagine.â
He starts talking to you about the case, laying out all the facts, and though you donât look happy, you donât cut him off like you cut Hotch off.Â
âSheâs pretty,â Morgan offers, glancing at Hotch. âAnd stubborn. I see why you like her.âÂ
âShut up, Morgan,â Hotch mutters.
He chuckles and holds his hands up, and focuses back on the interrogation.Â
The rest of it passes in silence, save for the occasional input from Prentiss or Morgan to elaborate on a point. You talk much more with Reid than you did with Hotch, and you donât stare daggers at him the entire time.Â
Time doesnât always heal all wounds, he thinks.Â
When Reid is finishing up inside with you, Morgan glances back at Hotch. âYou think sheâs part of this?â
He shakes his head. âNo. She has no reason to kill, nothing to gain. She talks about her past too plainlyâit hurt her, obviously, but it hasnât taken over her life.â
âWhat about her brother?â Prentiss asks.Â
âThe more we learn, the more I suspect him,â Morgan says.Â
She nods in agreement. âWe just have to find him.â
Hotch isnât sure yet.Â
But for your sake, he hopes his gut feeling is wrong.Â
-
Spring has finally sprung in DC, and you couldnât be happier.Â
Itâs hard to feel down on your walks to class when the birds are singing and the sun is beaming down on you, when you see students sitting on blankets reading and talking and actually enjoying life for once.Â
Youâre two years into law school, and it feels like youâve spent 90% of your time studying in either the library or your room. A bit of a sad existence, but itâs made better with Aaron.Â
Youâre laying down on a blanketâone you crocheted yourself in undergradâresting your head on Aaronâs chest as he reads a book, the spring sun shining down on you. It feels like the first moment of relaxation either of you have had since classes started, and you chose to spend it together in the University Yard.Â
You should probably be studying or doing some kind of homework, but you donât care. It has been too damn long since youâve gotten to just sit around and exist with Aaron, and youâve got at least a couple days until your next quiz. Thatâs far enough away for you.Â
Itâs been a rough semester for both of you, between classes and endless homework, between your internship and your endless family issuesâLuke is two years in, and his parole was denied, and your dad still insists on being the reason you stay on campus year-round.Â
You donât think youâre pushing it when you say Aaronâs support has been the only reason youâve gotten through it, your gradesâand your mental stateârelatively unscathed.Â
Aaron says your name, and you hum.Â
âAre you listening?â he asks.Â
âOf course,â you say.Â
âYour eyes are closed.âÂ
âI donât need my eyes to listen,â you say wryly. âWhatâs up?âÂ
You feel him tense for a moment, feel him adjust his position slightly.Â
âI got a call from Haley,â he says carefully.Â
Your eyes open and you frown.Â
You know the name, but only in the way that you talked a bit about your past relationships while you were still getting to know each other. She was his high school girlfriend, and it was a big deal then, but they broke up before college because they both wanted different things.
It shouldnât be a big deal now. But heâs treating it like one, and that makes you hesitate.Â
âYeah? Whatâd she want?â
ââŠSheâs in DC for the weekend,â he says. âSome conference for school. She asked if we could grab a coffee or something and catch up.â
You finally sit up, his hands falling from where heâd been playing with your hair, and you look at him.
âYour high school girlfriend wants to catch up.â
âAn old friend wants to catch up,â he corrects. âI havenât really talked to her since we graduated high school.âÂ
ââŠOkay,â you say slowly. âDo you want to see her?âÂ
He shrugs. âI thought it would be nice.â
âDo you think she thinks itâll be more than nice?â you ask.Â
âI donât know,â he admits. âI donât even know how she got my landline. I think my mom might have given it to her.âÂ
Your eyebrows rise. âYour mom gave your ex-girlfriend your number?âÂ
âItâs the only way I can think of her getting it,â Aaron shrugs. âLike I said, I havenât talked to her since graduation.âÂ
You chew on the inside of your cheek, trying to think as you look at Aaron.Â
Youâve met his mom a dozen times. Youâre insistent that she doesnât like you, despite Aaronâs assertions towards the oppositeâit wouldnât surprise you if she gave this girl his new number in an effort to push him in a new direction.Â
But that train of thought feels a little crazy. Youâre confident in your relationship with Aaronâyou love him, and he loves you. God, he made an off-handed comment about marriage the other day. Youâre not threatened by a girl from his past wanting to catch up.Â
âGo for it,â you finally say.Â
He frowns, like he was expecting the worst. âReally?âÂ
âI trust you, Aaron,â you say. âYou say sheâs just a friend, I believe it.âÂ
You lean forward to kiss him, your eyes fluttering shut, and it lasts much longer than it should. When you pull away, Aaronâs smiling softly at you.Â
âThank you,â he says.Â
ââCourse,â you say, tipping a shoulder. âIâm known to be rational from time to time.âÂ
He chuckles, and you smile as you lay back down on his chest. Soon after, you feel the weight of his hand on your shoulder.Â
âI love you,â he says. It feels more like a reminder than anything.Â
You entangle your fingers together and press a kiss to the back of his hand.Â
Sometimes you need reminders.Â
âI love you too.âÂ
-
âFour more bodies,â Prentiss mutters. âGod.âÂ
âYou can say that again,â Morgan murmurs.Â
Hotch is silent as he examines the fatherâs body. Theyâve been so busy the past few days trying to nail down the profile, both on their unsub and geographically, that this happening again hadnât been at the top of their list. There was a month between the first two, and two weeks between the second and third.Â
No one expected this to happen so soon.Â
The entire family was killed this time, and once again, the parents look similar to the other victims. Itâs the work of their unsub, no doubt.Â
Hotch and the team had already been at the precinct for an hour going over all the information theyâd found when they got the call at 8 in the morning, the bodies discovered by the familyâs maid when she arrived for work.Â
An entire family, parents and children, senselessly slaughtered for one manâs deranged quest for liberation.Â
Hotch has been in this business for a long time, seen things that most people only imagine in nightmares, and he still has to take a step back when children are involved.Â
He sees Jack in every single one. He canât help it.Â
Hotch took Prentiss and Morgan with him to the crime sceneâJJ has a kid, Rossi had a kid, and he just didnât want Reid to see it. Theyâll all be more valuable working together back there anyways, and itâs imperative that JJ controls the narrative before this can break to the press.Â
Again, Prentiss talks to the officers at the scene and Morgan helps him examine the bodies. After all, there are double the amount.Â
âIt just doesnât make sense,â Morgan says as he stands back up. âOur guy is killing surrogate parents to get back at his own, fine. Dad was tortured again, mom was killed with a bullet. But bringing the kids into it isnât his thing.âÂ
He uses a gloved hand to gingerly lift the fatherâs arm away from his body so he can examine the underarm. âLook at this. Heâs been stabbed at least ten times, and his armâs nearly severed from his body.â
âAnd his neck,â Morgan mutters. âHeâs half decapitated.âÂ
Hotch sets the arm back down. âThe unsub always wants the father to suffer, but this is a new level.â He looks up at Morgan. âI donât think he has a reason for killing the children. I think heâs getting sloppyâheâs getting overwhelmed by his anger.âÂ
âYou think heâs devolving,â he says, catching on.Â
âSomething tells me weâre coming to the end of the line,â Hotch says. âWhatever he does next, heâs going out with a bang.âÂ
-
The mood in the precinct has fallen dramatically since the last hit. The uniforms arenât happy that theyâre working around the clock, the chief isnât happy that the BAU hasnât figured everything out yet, and the city isnât happy that ten murders have been committed with what they think is no end in sight.Â
JJ and Rossi have gone out to bring in the suspect that he and Morgan found together for the sake of covering their basesâthey still havenât been able to find Lucas, despite Reid calling you every day to check in and upping police presence around the city.Â
The rest of the team sits around a conference table, over a dozen coffees between them, going over everything and racking their brains for information.Â
âThis just isnât matching up,â Reid complains. âLucas has just been at home for the first two, but for the third and the fourth heâs got alibis.âÂ
âWhat are they?â Hotch asks.Â
âHe was on the road all night when the third happened,â Reid says.Â
âAnd how do we know?â Prentiss asks.Â
âGarcia picked up his debit card being used a couple times from Des Moines back to St. Louis when the third set of murders happened,â Morgan contributes. âMustâve been a road trip, because there are stops at a gas station, a restaurant, and a rest stop.âÂ
âThe last one happened during an AA meeting he was supposed to attend,â Prentiss says. âI called the leader and she said he was there.â
âDo we have footage from any of those places?â Hotch asks. âWe need to make sure.âÂ
Reid nods. âI asked her to check it all this morning, including the AA meeting. She must still be going through itâI canât imagine itâs easy to get all that access.âÂ
âWhat about a second unsub?â Morgan suggests.Â
Hotch shakes his head. âThese are all meant to be personal for liberationâcatharsis. Involving someone else would take away from the feeling.âÂ
âWhat about your suspect?â Prentiss asks, looking at Morgan. âCould he be the unsub?âÂ
âPatrick Fenton,â Morgan says, and he shrugs. âHe fits itâdead parents, jail time, child of abuse. But heâs got two sisters, and his parents died when he was in his twenties from a car accident. I donât see why he would start killing almost twenty years later.âÂ
âMaybe weâll figure something out in questioning,â Reid says hopefully.Â
Morganâs phone suddenly goes off, and he hits the button to answer. âYouâre on speaker, babygirl.âÂ
âI found the security footage from those three places, the ones that Lucas was at on his supposed road trip when the third family was hit,â Garcia says, voice slightly tinny through the phone. Â
âAnd?â Hotch asks.Â
âI was getting there,â she says. âLucas wasnât there. He wasnât on any of the footageâhis sister was.âÂ
Hotch frowns. You?Â
âYouâre sure?â he asks.Â
âIâm always sure,â Garcia responds. âAnd I donât know if Spencer is there, but he also wasnât there at the AA meetingâI combed through the whole meeting, and he didnât show up at any point. Just another guy that looked like him.âÂ
âAnd youâre sure about that, too?â Hotch asks again.Â
âWhat is with this questioning of my abilities?â she asks, offended. âYes. Iâve stared at so many pictures of Lucas Hartford over these past few days that Iâve got him burned into my brain.âÂ
âThanks, babygirl,â Morgan says. âWeâll call back if we need anything.âÂ
âAnd youâre always welcome in this house of miracles,â she muses. Morgan chuckles before he hangs up.Â
âLucas gave her his card,â Reid realizes. âItâs an easy alibi, but it falls apart when you look into it even a little bit.âÂ
âProbably seemed solid to him at the time,â Morgan says. âHe doesnât seem like a detail oriented guy.âÂ
Prentiss frowns. âThat means heâs back on the chopping block. We can put him at the scene of every murder.âÂ
Hotch leans over the table and grabs Lucasâs file, and he pulls out the page compiling his family. âHis father died a year ago from liver failure. Hartford got out of jail nine months ago after a six year stint.âÂ
âIf heâs been plotting some elaborate murder of his father for years, just to get out of jail and find out he drank himself to death?â Morgan shakes his head. âHeâd snap. It doesnât feel like justice.âÂ
âHe thinks heâs saving the kids of these parents that he kills,â Reid says. âHe sees himself in themâhe canât look past his own childhood, and he assumes those kids must want their parents dead too.âÂ
âHeâs trying to get back at his dad,â Prentiss says. âWe know that.âÂ
âBut thatâs not his main goal,â Reid insists. âIf his dad died when he was a kid, the abuse would have stopped. His mom wouldnât be the battered wife anymore, and he wouldnât be the battered kid.âÂ
âHis goal has always been protection,â Hotch realizes. âYes, heâs getting his revenge by killing his father over and over, but ultimately, heâs trying to save himself.âÂ
âBut he didnât anticipate the kids being home this time,â Prentiss says. âHe had to kill them too.âÂ
âIf heâs seeing himself in these children, recreating what he never got to do, then that means that he effectively died in this scenario,â Reid says.Â
âHe didnât get what he wanted,â Morgan says. âThatâs gonna take a toll on him.â
âHeâs coming to the end of the line,â Prentiss nods.Â
Hotchâs brain is working overtime as they work information off of each other. Theyâre so damn closeâthey just need the last piece of the puzzle. If they find Lucasâs next victim, they find him.Â
âHis next crime will probably be his last before he goes out himself,â Reid says.Â
âYou think itâll be a murder-suicide?â Morgan asks.Â
âItâs common with family annihilators,â Reid says. âHell, itâs common with anyone who sees no future beyond their murders. Itâs their way out.âÂ
And then the answer hits Hotch like a ton of bricks. Reid is still rambling next to him.Â
âIf his dad was still alive, Iâd say he would be the target. But the only one leftââ
ââis his sister,â Hotch grits out, and heâs dashing out of the conference room before anyone can stop him.Â
âHotch!â Morgan yells, and he turns to Prentiss with wild eyes. âWhere the hell is he going?âÂ
âThe last victim,â she says as she starts following him. âThe one person he never managed to save.âÂ
âGoddammit,â Morgan curses, and he grabs his phone from the table, dialing Garcia as fast as she can while he runs. Reid is close behind him. Â
âWhatâs up, sugar?â she asks. âGot anymore leads?âÂ
He laughs dryly. âWeâve got a big one, babygirl. Lucas has finally reached the end of the road â heâs going for his sister. I need you to call JJ and Rossi andââÂ
âSend them the Hartford address and fill them in on everything?â she interrupted, and he could hear her fingers flying across the keyboard. âAlready on it.âÂ
âWhat would I do without you?â he asks.Â
âBe half the man and twice as sad,â she says. âIâve got to call JJ. Be safe, my love.âÂ
âAlways,â he responds, and he hangs up.Â
Hotch distantly registers Prentiss stopping by the chief to alert him of whatâs going on, because heâs in the fog of a rampage. Heâs in the driverâs seat before he knows it, starting the car, and he sees Prentiss, Morgan, and Reid running out after him.Â
Prentiss takes shotgun and Morgan and Reid file into the back, and theyâve all got Kevlar vests in their hands. He didnât really think of that through his haze.Â
âWeâve got an extra one for you,â Reid says, reading his mind.Â
âThank you. Iâ I know what youâre all thinkingââ Hotch starts, but Prentiss shakes her head.
âJust drive.â Her lips set themselves in a taut line. âWeâve got a murder to stop.â Â
And he does.Â
-
You sit on the curb, surrounded on either side by a box of your things. Packing up everything made you realize how little you had at his place. You thought youâd integrated yourself into his life fully, but it really just took an afternoon while he was in a lecture to disappear.Â
Summer has fully turned to winter, and youâre as morose as the weather. This side of town looks so depressing without the warmer months to pick it upâthe sidewalks are lined with dead trees, the grass is shriveled up and yellowing, and you feel like youâre living in grayscale.Â
A shiver runs through you, the weather only partly to blame.Â
Amy is supposed to pick you up, but as usual, sheâs running late. You donât know if itâs a personal issue or DC traffic has just struck again, but it doesnât really matter. Either way, youâre stuck here, and your bad luck seems intent on making it worse, because you watch a familiar car pull around the corner.Â
It parks a distance awayâthereâs no space in front of the complex, and he always complained that they didnât do assigned spotsâand you have to hold back a scornful scoff.Â
Of course you have to deal with this now.Â
Aaron picks up his pace when he gets out of the car, surpriseâand what you think is shameâpainted on his face. He says your name when he slows down.Â
âYouâre already packed.âÂ
You shrug. âIâm nothing if not efficient.âÂ
âI couldâve helped you with all this,â Aaron says, frowning.Â
âWhy do you think itâs done already?â you ask.Â
His throat bobs and he opens his mouth, but nothing comes out.
âLet me save you the pain of chivalry,â you say. âIâve got a friend coming to pick me up. Iâve already found a place. I called your property manager the other day and argued my way out of the lease, but I still paid my next month. Youâre welcome.âÂ
âYou didnât have to do that,â he says.Â
âYou know what they say about a clean break,â you intone. Â
âIâm sorry,â Aaron tries again. To his credit, he looks like he means it. Against his credit, itâs about the fiftieth time youâve heard it from him in the past two weeks.Â
âI shouldnât have let you get that coffee,â you say with a grim smile, âshould I?âÂ
His lips pull into a taut line. âI didnât cheat on you.âÂ
âI know,â you say. Itâs the one thing you do believe. âI just donât think you ever fell out of love with her.âÂ
Mercifully, you see Amyâs car pulling up in the distance. Sheâs your only friend with an SUV, so at least your boxes will fit.Â
âMy rideâs here,â you say as you stand up, and you pick up one of your boxes. Amy throws on her hazards and she gets out to open her trunk.Â
âIâm so sorry Iâm late,â she breathes. âTraffic was awful, and Jake has been so annoyingââÂ
âDonât worry about it,â you say with a slight smile as you put your box in the back. âYouâre already doing me a huge favor.â Â
âI want us to still be friends,â Aaron calls. When you turn back, he has your other box in his hands, his expression shamelessly desperate. Amy glares daggers at him.Â
âWhy?â you ask innocently. âSo I can go without talking to you for ten years, ask you for a coffee when Iâm in town, and then get you to leave Haley?âÂ
âThatâs not what happened,â he says, but youâre already shaking your head.Â
You take the box from him and smile thinly.Â
âHave a good rest of your life, Aaron. I hope it doesnât involve me ever again.â
-
You let out a noise of frustration as you struggle to get the key into the lock, gritting your teeth as you try to fit it in. Itâs always been finicky, but you just donât have the energy to deal with this tonight. Thankfully, just when you start getting annoyed, you get it open.Â
You get a few steps in before your eyebrows rise, the sight of your brother at the kitchen table a surprise. Heâs got his head in his hands, and your surprise turns to concern.
âLucas,â you say with a slight smile, shutting the door behind you, âI didnât know you were gonna be home tonight.â
His attention shoots to you immediately as he says your name, and he looks slightly out of it. âI was wondering when you were gonna get back.â
âStole the words right out of my mouth,â you say wryly, and you ruffle his hair with your free hand as you walk past him. He swats your hand away in brotherly protest, and you snort. âThis place has been quiet without you. Wellâ except for the cops. They were pretty loud.âÂ
âThey havenât been back, have they?âÂ
You look back at him and notice his leg is bobbing up and down insanely fast, and he keeps scratching at the soft wood of your table with his nail.Â
Your smile fades. âDonât tell me youâve been drinking.â
âOf course I havenât,â he insists, but you turn on the kitchen light, then move closer to peer into his eyes against his protests.Â
âAt least youâre not high,â you murmur, taking one last look before you pull away. âAnd stop ruining the table. I need it to last for the next ten years.âÂ
He huffs, and you can practically hear him roll his eyes, but he stops.Â
âDid you go to class today?â
âYou donât have to act like Mom,â Lucas says, crossing his arms again with another huff.Â
âAnd you donât have to act like a child.â You roll your eyes as you set your tote bag on the countertop and begin unpacking the groceries you bought. âIâm asking you about your dayâthatâs definitely not acting like Mom.â
âYes,â he mocks. âI went to class.â
âGood.â You glance back at him. âIâm proud of you, Luke. Youâve been making progress.âÂ
His smile is a bit thin, but he nods. âThanks. How was work?â
You scoff and shake your head as you put a couple things in the pantry. âDonât even get me started. I swear, Marieâs going to get me fired someday if she keeps her bullshit up.â
âSheâs still on it?â Luke asks, and you canât help but smile a bit.Â
âDonât act like you know what Iâm talking about,â you say. âJust agree with me.âÂ
âI agree with you,â he says.Â
âThatâs it,â you muse.Â
Your eyes fall back on your bag, and youâre reminded of what you meant to do next time your brother showed up.Â
âOhââ You go back over to the kitchen table for your bag and pull out your wallet. You slide a debit card out and hold it out to your brother. âThanks for letting me use it while I was up in Des Moines. I finally got my bank to get rid of the freeze on my card.âÂ
ââŠOf course,â he says, and he takes it back. âGlad I could help.âÂ
âIâll pay you back, obviously,â you say as you get back to your groceries. âI just have to wait to get paid again.âÂ
âDonât worry about it,â he says. âAnd uhâ you never answered me. Did the cops come by again?âÂ
You huff a mirthless laugh and shake your head. âYou have nothing to worry about, Luke. I think they finally realized they were barking up the wrong tree.â
ââŠGood,â he says. âI can tell theyâve stressing you out.â
âLike that looks any different than my normal state,â you say wryly. âBesides, it wasnât that bad.âÂ
You recall the shock you felt when you opened the door to Aaron, and how nervous you were on the drive to the precinct. Itâs almost been a decade, and yet he still has an effect on you that he has no right to.Â
âYou remember that guy I dated when I was still in law school? Aaron Hotchner?â
âI think? I was in jail, so.âÂ
You roll your eyes. âI know I told you about him when I visited you while we were together.âÂ
âI remember you telling me how he broke your heart,â Luke says.Â
âThatâs not what Iâm saying.âÂ
âThen what are you saying?âÂ
âThat heâs with the FBI now. The BAU,â you enunciate, and you huff. âHeâs one of the guys on this case, coincidence that it is. They came hereâthey even brought me in for an interview.â
He frowns. âWhatâd you say?â
âThe truth.â You pull your cutting board and a knife out of a drawer and get to work washing your vegetables. âThat I didnât know anything, and neither of us are involved in either way.â You shake your head with a sigh. âThey must believe it, because they havenât come back.âÂ
âWhat have they said about me?â he asks.Â
âIâm not supposed to say.â You roll your eyes. âI think youâre innocent, but I could get charged with obstruction, and I really donât feel like dealing with thatâŠâÂ
You trail off into a sigh as you finish washing the peppers and set them on a towel. âI hope they find whoeverâs doing it, though. It is freaking me out that thereâs a murderer out there.âÂ
You pick up your knife and start cutting them upâtheyâre not the freshest, but itâs all Kroger had after workâand you glance back at Luke. âYou really shouldnât be going out so often with this going on, yâknow. I donât want you getting hurt.âÂ
âDonât worry,â he says. âIâm careful.âÂ
âI doubt that,â you say wryly. âStill, though. I worry about you.âÂ
âShouldnât it be the other way around?â he asks. âIâm your older brother.âÂ
âI worry about everything,â you say. âItâs my thing.âÂ
You hear him huff a laugh and you smile a bit to yourself. You get through your first pepper before you remember whatâs been nagging at you your whole ride home.Â
âOhâ can you get the TV?â you ask. âChannel 8, I think. Marcy is getting interviewed for something with her nonprofit, and I told her Iâd record it for her.â
Lucas doesnât respond, though you hear the scrape of the chair as he gets up.Â
âThank you,â you say. âI think they have a fundraiser coming up or somethingâŠâ you trail off and shake your head as you scrape the cut peppers onto a plate. âGod. I need to start paying attention in the break room.â
Another few seconds pass, and you donât hear the television switch on. You huff and turn your head slightly. âLuke, Iâm making dinner tonight. This is the least you could do.âÂ
âIâm sorry.â
The words come out as a murmur, but you can tell heâs much closer than he was before.Â
You donât even get the chance to turn around before something crashes against your head and your vision goes dark. You feel yourself fall to the ground, and your head hits the floor hard.Â
Then, thereâs nothing.Â
-
Hotch has been breaking every speeding law there is.Â
The station isnât too far from your house, but itâs still too far. All he can see is your body, crippled and lifeless just like every other victim theyâve had to look at.Â
It should never have gotten to this point. Lucas has been a suspect for the first day, but they looked to other suspects, got caught up in statements from neighbors and the kids of the victims.Â
If Hotch just found him and booked him on the first day, this wouldnât be happening. Your life wouldnât be in danger.Â
His hands tighten on the steering wheel.Â
âI seriously think weâre looking at a murder-suicide if this gets to play out,â Reid speaks up from the backseat. âThis is his way of ending this for both of themâthe ultimate protection of his sister.â
âNo one can hurt her if sheâs dead,â Morgan mutters.Â
âHotch,â Prentiss starts, treading carefully, âare you sure youâre okay to lead this?â
âYes,â he says, though he wants to say what kind of question is that?
You were together a lifetime ago in law school, yes, and he might still have feelings for you that he didnât even realize were there, yesâbut heâs an agent and a professional before all of that.Â
It doesnât matter that you have history. It doesnât matter that you likely hate him.Â
It doesnât matter that he thought he was going to marry you one day, and then was watching you drive out of his life after he got back with his high school girlfriend another day. Â
Aaron Hotchner is not going to let you die. Itâs as simple as that.Â
Hotchâs phone rings and he picks it up and flips it open immediately. âTalk to me, Garcia.â
âJJ and Rossi are on their way,â she says. âAre you headed to their place?âÂ
âYes,â he says, and he puts it on speaker. âIâve got Prentiss, Morgan, and Reid with me still.âÂ
âDo you think thereâs anywhere else he could be?â Morgan asks. âIf heâs going to kill her, he might not want to do it in this house.âÂ
âAlready a step ahead of you, my love,â she says, and he can hear mouse clicks through the phone. âThey grew up in a house in St. Charlesâitâs abandoned, from the looks of it, some place on the outskirts. Never got another buyer after the past owners moved out. Iâm sending the address to Emily right now.â
Prentiss gets a buzz on her phone and she nods in confirmation after flipping it open. Hotch immediately switches lanes and makes a U-turn, his jaw clenching.Â
âTell me how to get there, Prentiss,â he says. âHeâs there.â
âYou need to get on I-70,â she says, and then her brow furrows. âHow do you know?â
âHeâs killed everyone else in their homes because he sees it as the source of it all. His sisterâs rented place isnât personal enough.â Hotch shakes his head. âWhy wouldnât he want to go back to theirs to end it all?â
âHotch.â Penelopeâs voice rings out in the car, and he doesnât even realize he forgot to hang up.Â
âWhat?â
âBe careful,â she says, and he rushes to turn it off speaker and press it to his ear. âI⊠I know how important this is to you.â
Hotchâs throat bobs and his eyes burn with the beginnings of tears. He blinks them awayâhe canât be weak now. He canât let his team see him be weak now. âDare I ask how?â
âI found an article about GWâs mock trial team,â she says. âKind of went down a rabbit hole from there.â
Somehow, he huffs the slightest laugh. It feels like a lifetime agoâit honestly is, at this point. Before he saw carnage and gore on a daily basis and tried to solve it, when he thought the DAâs office was the endpoint, when he came home to your smiling face every night.Â
And nowâŠÂ
Hotchâs spine somehow stiffens, and he knows the other three in the car are watching him. He canât decide whether he cares or not.Â
âThank you, Garcia.â
âNo problem,â she says, and he can almost hear her blink in the pause. âUhâ for what, exactly?âÂ
For the memory, he wants to say. But he doesnât. He canât, not right now, so he tries his best to snap out of it.Â
âKeep a watch on the patrol cars,â he says instead. âUpdate JJ and Rossi on our plan, but tell them to stay on their path. Iâm sure Iâm right, but we need to cover our bases.âÂ
âOf course, sir.â He hears her fingers flying across the keys. âIâve got yours and the squad carsâ locations upâIâll call them now.âÂ
âThank you,â he says.Â
âGood luck, Hotch,â Garcia says softly.Â
Hotch hangs up before he gets too emotional. Penelope has a way of bringing that side out of him.Â
âWeâll get him,â Prentiss assures. Sheâs been watching him this whole time, he can feel itâsheâs been attuned far too keenly on this entire part of the case involving you and him. âAnd weâll save her.âÂ
His knuckles go white around the steering wheel, and for once, Hotch canât find the words.Â
-
It feels like your head is slowly being cranked in a vice when you eventually wake up, a dull but insistent pain. Your arm stings too, but you donât know why.Â
You blink a few times as you try to figure out where you are, a low groan slipping out as you fully come back into consciousness, and you move to rub the grogginess out of your eyes.Â
Your arms donât move. You try again, panic spiking your heart for a moment, and thatâs when you realize youâre in a chairâtied to a chair, your wrists bound together behind you and your ankles bound to the chair legs.Â
Now the panic fully sets in. Thereâs a murderer in St. Louis, but you donât fit the victimology from what youâve seen, but does any of that fucking matter when youâre stuck in something out of a horror movie?
Lucas was the only one there with you. So either heâs in the same situation, or heâ
âYouâre finally awake,â a voice murmurs. When he comes into view and sits down across from you, your heart stops.Â
For a moment, all you can do is stare at your brother with wide eyes. You see the gun in his hand through your peripherals, but you donât look away from his gaze.Â
âI was worried I was too rough,â he says softly. âBut youâve always been resilient.âÂ
âLucas,â you breathe. âWhat the fuck is this?â
âItâs finally going to be over,â he says, ignoring your panic. âWeâve been hurting our whole lives because of that bastard of a father, and I can finally make it all stop.âÂ
Your brother is fucking crazy. Heâs fucking crazy, and heâs going to kill you.
Youâve spent two weeks telling Aaron he was crazy and your brother was innocent, and now heâs going to be proven right when he finds your dead body.Â
You try to tamp down on your panic. You donât have a law degree, sure, and you never officially practiced, but youâve been a good speaker, a persuasive one, all your life.Â
And if thereâs ever been a fucking time to be persuasive, itâs now.Â
âYou donât have to do this,â you whisper. âWeâ we can talk if you want to talk.â You tug at your ankle restraints. âThis is unnecessary.âÂ
He shakes his head. âI know you. Youâd run.âÂ
âCome on.â You manage as much of a smile as you can. âIâve always been there for you, Luke. Why would this be any different?âÂ
ââŠYouâve always been too nice,â he says, and he sets the gun down on his leg. At least he doesnât have his finger on the trigger. âAnyone rational wouldâve kicked me to the curb when I asked you for help.âÂ
âYouâre my brother,â you whisper. âIâ I love you, Lucas. Iâd never do that to you.âÂ
âFamilyâs supposed to be everything, right?â He shakes his head. âYou were the only one of us that understood that. You were there to pick me up every time my sentence was up.âÂ
âIâve always believed in you,â you say.Â
He huffs a monotone laugh as he stares at the ground. âYouâre definitely the only one.â
You shake your head. âThatâs not true.âÂ
âMom didnât care enough to stop anything,â he says, leaning back in his chair. âAnd Dad wished I was dead every goddamn day. He didnât have the guts to do it himself, but he definitely tried.âÂ
You canât defend your parents. Your dadâs a piece of shit, and your mom didnât stop anything he didâbut you could never find it in yourself to fully hate her because he hurt her too, with more than just bruises.Â
âIâve dreamt of killing our dad every day for twenty years,â Lucas says. âAnd that old bastard had to fuck me over one last time and die while I was in jail.â
You remember when you got the news. You were next of kinâyour mother was dead, and your brother was incarceratedâso you got the call from the hospital. You deliberated for hours before you bought a plane ticket to Montanaâapparently that was where he fucked off to drink himself to deathâand you donât know if youâve ever felt more numb than when you were sitting in some lawyerâs office, listening to him drone on about his will and how his estate would be divided.Â
âSo you killed all of those people?â you asked. âBecause you didnât get to kill our dad first?âÂ
âI was saving those kids!â Luke yells, and you shrink in on yourself. âSaving them before their parents could fuck them up like ours did to us!âÂ
âYou donât have to do this,â you repeat. âYouâre just letting Dad win. Proving every shitty thing he said about you.âÂ
âAnd thatâs the zinger, isnât it? Luke laughs and shakes his head. âHe was right. Weâre a whole family of fuck-ups. An alcoholic abuser, a battered wife, a nonstop jailbird, and youâŠâ He shakes his head with a sigh. âYou should be out there prosecuting people like me.â
âHe ruined us,â Luke murmurs. âAnd Iâm finally going to fix it.âÂ
All you can do is stare at your brother, wide and teary eyed. You canât find the words, but you donât have to.Â
Police sirens begin to filter through the air as they get closer, and Luke huffs. âOf course.â He eyes you. âDonât go anywhere.âÂ
âI wouldnât dare,â you say weakly.Â
When he leaves to peer out the front door, you take a second to look at your surroundings. It takes a second because theyâre so decrepit, but you could never forget.Â
Luke brought you back to your childhood homeâthe place in St. Charles, rotten down to its bones. Itâs abandoned by now, but the atmosphere is nothing less than oppressive. Thereâs a reason you graduated high school a year early, why you never came back once you got to collegeâexcept with Aaron, to help your mom move her things out.Â
You refuse to die here. Even if you have to claw your way back through the gates of Hell inch by inchâyou will not die here.Â
You hear footsteps, and when Lucas comes back in, he has a crazed glint in his eye. He shakes his head as his finger returns back to the trigger, and you canât help but flinch. He wonât. Not now.Â
âLooks like your friends the FBI are here,â he drawls. âYou said you didnât tell them anything.âÂ
âI didnât,â you insist. âTheyâre profilersâthey figure things out.âÂ
He shakes his head. âThey donât realize that I have to do this.â Luke kneels down in front of you and takes your chin in an iron grip. âThis is the only way to end our pain.âÂ
He lets go of you then stands up, moving behind youâyou want to protest, but you donât get the chance. He presses his gun to your temple and then the door is broken down. Four agents rush in, guns at the ready. Aaron leads them, and heâs got fire blazing in his eyes.
âFBI,â he barks. âHands up.â
Lucas doesnât seem fazed, his breathing staying the same. You stare right at Aaron, unfiltered fear in your eyes, and you feel torn bare. Heâs going to watch your brother put a bullet in your head.Â
âIâm afraid I canât do that,â he says smoothly. âThis is a family matter.âÂ
âPut the gun down, Lucas,â Aaron says.Â
âYou know my name,â he says. âI know yours too, Aaron Hotchner. My sister told me you were with the feds. She also told me you broke her heart.â
âPut the gun down,â he repeats.Â
âI donât think I will,â Luke says. âYou see, I donât go around just kidnapping people for fun. I have a purpose here.â He tilts his head to the side. âBut you know that, donât you? Youâre all profilers.âÂ
âYouâve been targeting families that look like your own,â he says. âYou think that killing them will end the pain inside you, and protect those kids in a way that you never got.âÂ
âI donât think it,â he bites, âI know it. If my dad had been shot thirty years ago, we wouldnât be here right now.âÂ
âThis isnât going to bring you peace,â Aaron says. âYour sister has been the only person to stay by your side through every part of your life. Do you really want to lose that?âÂ
âTrust me,â Luke says. âIâm not losing her.âÂ
He flicks the safety off and you flinch. Heâs going to kill you.Â
âPut the gun down,â another agent warns.Â
âIf you all donât leave right now, Iâll shoot her.â Your whole body stiffens as he presses the gun harder into the side of your head, your breathing going off kilter. âExcept you, Aaron Hotchner. You can stay.â
âWeâre not doing that,â the woman says. Agent Prentiss, you think.Â
âReally?â Luke chuckles. âYou think you hold the cards here?âÂ
âItâs okay,â Aaron says. âGo.âÂ
Agent Prentiss frowns, and the other two men look different levels of puzzled. They obviously doubt the decision, but they donât doubt Aaron, because one by one, they leave.Â
âWow,â Luke muses. âThey really trust you.âÂ
âBecause I know you donât want to hurt her,â Aaron says. âDeep down, you know youâre not protecting her. Not by hurting her.âÂ
âIâm not hurting her,â he says. âSheâs always been the one to keep me safe over the yearsâIâm finally paying the favor back. Iâm finally taking her pain away.â
âYou were abused as children. Both of you.â Aaron looks at your brother. âYour sister always tried to protect you, but it never worked. It just made it worse for her, and it made you feel worthless. Youâre her older brother. Youâre the one that was supposed to protect her.â
âMy sister said youâre profilers,â he says, and though his tone is lazy, you know your brother. You can tell itâs starting to get to him. âIs that what youâre doing right now? Profiling me?âÂ
âYou would never be good enough for your father, and your mother would never do anything to stop it,â Aaron continues. âAll you had was your sister, and even that wasnât good enoughâyou hurt her just as much as your dad did. At least your dad didnât think he was a good person.âÂ
Luke growls, and he puts a hand on your shoulder to pull you closer to him. âShut up.âÂ
âYour sister has told me you can be more than this,â he says. âAnd I think sheâs right. Youâre better than thisâbetter than living between the margins and jail.âÂ
âIâve had a hole in my chest since I was born,â Luke mutters. âAnd Iâve tried to stop it, but itâs just grown and grown and grown. Thisâ this aching pit of pain, and he caused it. Youâve got it tooâ I know it.âÂ
âIâ I do,â you say. And youâre not lying. Youâve had a pit of despair in you for as long as you can remember. The only difference is that youâve fought every goddamn day of your life to keep it from consuming you. âAnd it hurts, Luke. Trust me, I know. It took me so long to even be able to deal with it, but I know how to. I can help youâwe can both walk out of here.âÂ
âNo,â he whispers. âNoâwe canât.â Â
âYes, we can,â you plead. âI love you, Luke. Iâll spend every day of the rest of my life helping you if thatâs what it takes to get rid of that hole.âÂ
For a moment, he doesnât say anything. For a moment, you think youâve gotten through to him. Aaron never takes his eyes away from you.Â
âIâve never been able to protect her,â Luke murmurs. âNot from our dad, not from the world, not even from you, Aaron Hotchner.â He presses the gun harder than ever into your head, like he wants to bury the metal in your skull along with the bullet. âBut that all ends now.âÂ
You screw your eyes shut. You donât want to see Aaronâs face when your brother kills you.Â
And then it happens so quickly you barely process it.Â
Thereâs two gunshots, almost at the same time. You scream, first because of the gunshots, then because of the sudden roaring pain in your side. Thereâs a thud next to you, your eyes shoot open, and you see your brotherâs lifeless body fall to the ground.Â
You scream againâyou canât even control it, it just rips out of you at the sight of the hole in his head and the blood pooling beneath itâand Aaron drops his gun to rush forward. The rest of his team thunders in after him, all in guns and bulletproof vests, and theyâre talking, but you canât focus on a single goddamn thing because your brotherâs dead body is right next to you.Â
Aaron pulls out a pocket knife and begins to cut through your restraints, and the instant he finishes you collapse. He catches you without a second thought, and you immediately wrap your arms around him.Â
Torrential sobs wrack your entire body as you bury your face in the crook of his shoulder, every part of you shaking as the reality of it all hits with full force.Â
Your brother is a serial killer. He killed ten people, he tried to kill you. And now heâs dead.Â
The only part you had left of your familyâgone, just like that, with four other families ruined in his wake.Â
Aaronâs soft voice in your ear is the only thing bringing you back from the edge of hyperventilation, his own hold on you the only thing keeping you from collapsing.
âIâm so sorry,â he murmurs and he shrugs off his windbreaker to wrap it around your arms. âYouâre safe now. Youâre safe.â
âHeâs gone,â you choke out, voice muffled as you speak into his chest. âHeâs gone, and he tried toââ
A fresh round of emotions hit you, unable to get the words out, and you fully break down in Aaronâs arms.Â
âI know.â
Aaronâs fingers linger on your side and you feel some dull pain, but you feel his breath still for a moment.Â
âYou were shot,â he says with your name. âWe have to get you to a hospital.âÂ
You donât even feel it. God, you donât feel anything. Thereâs a distant ringing in your ears, an insistent pain in your skull, and you finally realize Aaron is right when you pull away and see the blood on his fingers.Â
But black spots start to fill your vision. You may not feel it, but your body holds the score. The pain intensifies in your side as your adrenaline starts to slow down, and you collapse against Aaron.Â
âGet an EMT in here!â he yells, keeping an arm wrapped around you. âWeâve got a GSWâ sheâs losing blood fast!âÂ
You can feel Aaronâs rapid heartbeat, can feel his steady arms as he keeps you propped up. You feel the warmth of his body, feel the warmth draining out of yours.Â
âAaron,â you whisper, your strength fading. You donât think he hears you.
He helps you up and youâre suddenly hoisted onto a stretcher, and heâs beside you as the EMTs run you out of your childhood home. The night is a blurry canvas of red and blue lights, and your eyelids feel like theyâre made of concrete.Â
âAaron,â you try again, and you have enough left in you to grasp his cheek. âThank you.âÂ
And as the world goes black around you for the second time, you see his lips form your name.Â
Itâs not a bad thing, you think before darkness overtakes you, for Aaron Hotchner to be the last thing you see before you die.Â
-
You wake up in the hospital alone. Â
You donât know what you expect. You have few acquaintances, fewer friends, and the last part of your family is dead after he tried to kill you.Â
The real surprise is that you wake up at all.Â
Lucas is dead.Â
He tried to kill you. You thought he succeeded.Â
You let out a slow, even breath, accompanied only by the sounds of beeping machines. It still doesnât exactly feel real.Â
Youâve spent the last two weeks defending your brother against every accusation, and you ended it in the hospitalâwell and truly alone for the first time in your life.Â
You look at the television. Some muted soccer game is playing, and youâre thankful. You were worried that you and your brother would be the topic of the day.Â
Who are you kidding? Youâre going to be the topic of the year. He killed ten people. He tried to kill you, and you think he nearly did. He shot you, after all.Â
You let your head fall back against the pillow. All of your limbs feel insurmountably heavy, your side aches like hell, and youâve got the worst headache of your life.Â
And you canât stop playing it all over in your mind.Â
He was going to kill you.Â
Your own brother, your flesh and blood, the only person you had left, tried to kill you and would have killed you had it not been for the BAU.Â
Had it not been for Aaron Hotchner.Â
The door opens and someone walks through, your eyes following the movement, and when he sees it, he pauses. And so do youâapparently the devil appears even when you think of him.Â
âYouâre awake,â Aaron says after a moment. Itâs the third time heâs sounded surprised since youâve met him again. Seeing you, finding out your mom is dead, seeing you.Â
But thereâs relief there, too.
He has a coffee in his hand and his tie is undone, the sleeves of his white undershirt rolled up to his forearms. It makes you realize his suit jacket has been slung over the back of the chair near your bedside.Â
âHow long have you been here?â you ask, your brows furrowing ever so slightly.Â
Aaron closes the door and sets his coffee on the table before he answers you. âThree days.âÂ
âAnd how long have I been here?âÂ
âThree days,â he says. âYou suffered head trauma, they discovered drugs in your system, and⊠you were shot. You had to go into emergency surgery.âÂ
You frown, and he answers before you can ask any of them. ââŠYour brother. After he knocked you out, he used something to⊠keep you out. And after I shot him, he still got one offâthankfully, as he was falling. The bullet hit you in the side instead of the head.â
âHow bad was it?â you ask.Â
Aaron glances away. âYou died on the table. They managed to bring you back, butâŠâÂ
âI guess Luke did succeed,â you say absentmindedly. Aaron doesnât laugh, and you glance away too. âSorry. Bad time for jokes.âÂ
He shakes his head. âIf anyoneâs allowed to joke about this, itâs you.âÂ
Your lips twitch for a moment, but then you look back at him as he takes a seat at your bedside again. He looksâ god, he just looks tired. Tired and ragged and downtrod, and you canât imagine you look much better. Â
âYou were out for two days after,â he explains. âThis is the first time youâve woken up.â
âWhy are you here, Aaron?â you ask quietly. âWhy have you been here?âÂ
Aaron frowns. âWhere else would I be?â
Your throat feels like itâs closing up, and you feel the telltale pinpricks of tears. You blink them away before they can start.Â
âMy brother was a serial killer, Aaron.â Your hands clench into fists as you stare at the wall. âHe killed ten people while he was living with me and Iâ and I didnât even fucking notice.â Your gaze moves back to him. âI went against all of you because I thought I knew him, and look where it got me.âÂ
âItâs not a crime to want to see the best in people,â he says. âEspecially your family.âÂ
âItâs a crime to fucking murder people,â you huff, and itâs only slightly unhinged. âIâ I thought I knew him, and I didnât. And if I did, maybe none of these people wouldâve had to die.â
âDonât blame this on yourself,â Aaron demands. âLucas was lost. Mentally ill. He was on a path for revenge, for his deranged idea of protectionânothing you could have said or done would have stopped him.âÂ
You shake your head. âIt might be easy for you to say that, Aaron, but Iâ I canât. Heâs my brother. I gave him a place to live, I gave him easy access to familiesâ god, I fought with you all for two weeks about his innocence, all while he was planning his next fucking murder!âÂ
âIt is not your fault,â he repeats, slower and enunciating the words. âHe was the only member left of your family, and you loved him. You were just stubborn, and thatâs nothing new.âÂ
âI just donât know what to do.â Youâve had these walls up for so long, especially this past week, and now that everythingâs come to a head and youâre in the hospital and your fucking brother is dead, the floodgates have opened. âI have to plan a funeral because Iâm the only one left to plan one, butâ but does he even deserve one? Heâs a serial killer, and he tried to kill me for godâs sake, but heâs my brother and even though heâs gone heâs still all I have left andââÂ
You break off as you suck in a huge breath of air, the notion shaky as you clench your hands into fists to keep the rest of your body from doing the same.Â
âAnd I just donât know what to do,â you repeat, barely a whisper.Â
You meet Aaronâs eyes, almost desperately. You feel like youâll shatter into a million different pieces if you even breathe wrong and he might be the only solid thing in your life.Â
âWhatever you do,â he says, âyou donât have to do it alone. Not if you donât want to.âÂ
âAaron,â you start shakily, but he continues.Â
âI know what you think, and thatâs not what Iâm suggesting.â Aaron pauses for a moment, and itâs obvious how carefully heâs crafting his words. âIâve⊠always regretted how we left things. And I regret losing touch with you. This isnât the way I wouldâve liked to meet you again. But Iâm thankful I have.â
He pulls a card out of his shirt pocket and holds it out to you. You realize itâs his business card, and itâs got his number.Â
âIâm sorry for the formality,â he says dryly, âbut I donât exactly go around prepared to give out my number for purposes other than work.âÂ
You take it without giving yourself the chance to think about it. You run your finger around the sharp edge of the cardstock, pressing the pad of your thumb against the corner.Â
âYears ago, you wished me a good life, and that you didnât want to be involved in it,â he says, still treading carefully. You canât believe he remembers the last thing you said to him. âButâ but a lot has changed since then, and I hope that has as well.âÂ
âIâd like you to be a part of my life again,â Aaron finally says, âif you want to be a part of mine.â
For a moment, all you can do is stare at him. Two and a half years of law school flash behind your eyesâcoffee shop dates and endless hours spent studying at the library. Movie nights cuddled on his couch, hauling boxes out of your house at an ungodly hour to get away from your roommates. An unhealthy amount of all-nighters immediately followed by going out to celebrate a miracle of an A on an exam. Getting through every soul-sucking part of earning a J.D. together, falling apart before either of you could make it to the other side, and somehowâŠ
Somehow, youâve ended up on a completely different side together.Â
âMy life isnât going to be easy,â you say faintly. âEspecially⊠moving through this.âÂ
âMy life isnât easy either,â he says. âIâm divorced with a kid and I try to solve murders every day.âÂ
âItâs not a contest.â An attempt at a joke, but it falls flat for you. Aaronâs lips still quirk at the edges the slightest bit.Â
âGetting through this certainly wonât be easy,â he agrees. âBut I have more experience than most in these sorts of things. So if you ever need anything, call. Please.âÂ
âI imagine youâre pretty busy,â you murmur. âUnit chief and all.âÂ
Aaron shrugs. âI make time for the things I care about.âÂ
Thankfully, you donât have to figure out how to respond to that, because thereâs a knock on the door, and a nurse walks in after you call a come in.
âItâs good to finally see you awake, sweetheart,â the nurse says with a smile. It warms you from the inside out.Â
âItâs nice to be awake,â you say. Her smile widens and she moves over to the computer in the side of the roomâto add some things before she makes her checkup, you assume.Â
âIâll give you some time alone,â Aaron says.
Before he can stand up, you grab his hand. Itâs fully on instinct, and he looks just as surprised as you feel. Â
âDonât go,â you plead, and itâs almost a whisper. âIâ justâ please.âÂ
Aaron stares at you for a moment, that shock glinting in his eyes before it transforms into something a lot warmer. He nods and sits down.Â
âOkay.âÂ
And he stays.Â
This time, he stays.
#i was truly possessed while writing this i can't understand it#i wrote 15k words in 5 days#aaron hotchner x reader#hotch x reader#criminal minds x reader#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner angst#aaron hotchner imagine#sadie writes
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This will sound confrontational but its a genuine question, I promise. Why is it âembarrassingâ to wonder about the sex lives of these characters? GO is not a childrens book or show as far as i know, the characters are not underage, unable to consent, related, cheating, canonically asexual or any other thing that would make them having sex even remotely reprehensible or anything like that. They literally get called husbands every single day on this app and im sure youâre well aware people are very much writing about them having sex constantly so Iâm just wondering. Is it just the word choice? If someone had asked when az and crowley âmade tender consensual loveâ instead, would there be less actual harrassment in their inbox right now? Or is it just very bad and wrong to discuss gay sex⊠ok maybe it is confrontational after all. oops
I think you might have misread or misconstrued what I wrote, when I said "I feel a bit embarrassed for the people sending them when they come through, but nothing more than that". My embarrassment is over what people think is appropriate to send as messages to the author, not over whatever they want to speculate about. They have the whole of Tumblr, not to mention AO3, to ponder, imagine and discuss anything they like about any and all things in the stories, including sex, gay and straight. But sending stuff like that to me is just inappropriate... it's like watching someone turn up to a school meeting drunk, or watching someone trying to tell dirty jokes to an audience that wishes they'd stop. I'm the wrong audience, and it makes me embarrassed on their behalf.
Every now and again, in the Asks, someone will write apologizing for something they sent in years before, which they've now realized was inappropriate -- or which they always knew was inappropriate and they've grown enough as people to apologize. And enough of those messages have come in over the years that I'm never upset at receiving inappropriate asks. Just embarrassed for the people sending them, and hoping they don't beat themselves up too badly when they figure out, as many of them seem to eventually, that perhaps that wasn't a very sensible thing to do.
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She
pairing: pervy!getou x reader
summary:you just moved into the neighborhood and suguru doesn't seem to know why but something attracts him to you and he can't seem to get enough
cw:explict content, blow job, edging, dirty dreams, stealing underwear, pervy content, breaking in and entering, whimpering, masturbating, fingering, cunnilings
a/n:new jjk fic, let me know if I should continue on with the jjk fics or you guys will like to see any other characters like the x-men(who im definitely obsessed with rn)
You had started off as Suguru Getouâs neighbor as you moved in next door from him. He had just come back from a quiet outing that afternoon till he saw you. From the way your curves held onto the tight stretch of your jean skirt, to the way he heard your whimpers of discomfort at the heavy boxes you were trying to push up the stairs. You were precious. He had only known mostly people of the slums to be living here but you were like a fine jewel at a dirty pawn shop amongst the other residents. He never liked the idea of serious relationships whether platonic or romantic ever since what happened a few years ago with his friends but he knew he wanted you, and from there you became his obsession. He promised himself to keep his distance but will go to all kinds of extensive measures to keep you reliant on him and only wanting his attention for as long as he could keep you here.Â
âHey, need help?âSuguru asked as he took some of the boxes out of your hand before you could even protest.Â
âOh thank you so much, you didnât have to but I really appreciate itâ, you smiled with those bright eyes of yours and the same smile to match sending him even further in his obsessionÂ
Over your time being his neighbor you got to know each other well to the point you almost trusted him with any and everything. Sure it was always stuff you kept to yourself which he seemingly respected, but with his stay he began to notice every little thing you may have not told him.Â
Like the pinned up certificate in your living room showing where you graduated from and your degree. To the way you wrote out everything you planned for the day on a sticky note on your fridge, something he always thought was cute.
His especially favorite thing was when he invited himself inside your bedroom when you asked him for something, there he found that with a short walk across your shared fire escape his bedroom window lied just beside your own perfect for what he had in mind. ;)
So whenever he knows you wonât be home he takes upon himself to climb on the fire escape that leads right to the bedroom window of your apartment as you always seemed to leave the window cracked even when you werenât home. Did you not understand the danger of guys like him just sneaking in and snooping through whatever he wanted. But times like these had him thankful just the same.Â
Day after day heâll steal a thing or two, from your room. Whether it was a perfume that reminded him of your signature scent, some lipstick of yours he always saw on your lips and wished he could watch smear and smudge as he imagined pulling you into a deep and heated kiss as his tongue began to explore the entire expanse of your lips with that cherry red lipstick. Sometimes heâll even sneak a little peek through your laundry basket to steal a pantie or two before sneaking back to his apartment knowing youâll be home soon.
ᥣđ© âąïœĄêȘৠËâ
âFuck-â, was the soft groan that came from his agape mouth as he laid in bed within his own secluded apartment as he had that those panties he just stolen a few days ago wrapped around his hardened cock as he imagined a small day dream between you and him. There you were in between his shaking and trembling thighs looking up at him with those pretty doe eyes as you licked the droplets of precum seeping from his tip.Â
âYeah, that's it. Please keep going for me~â he whimpered, stifling his voice, scared you would hear through the thin walls as he continued with his dream. Now you had your lips wrapped around him taking the entirety of his cock in one full gulp as he elicited a soft moan in his daydream pumping whatever of his cock you couldn't fit while keeping a steady motion with your lips until he busted all over your face only to leave the daydream and merely see his now sticky fingers along with your panties in just the same condition.Â
But, that's when he heard his phone ring. âWho the fuck-â, he groaned sitting up to see who was calling only to see that it was you quick to answer now.
âHey, it's meâŠSuguru.â, he stood at the door knocking for his second time, now too scared at whatever may have happened for you to call so urgently. But then he saw you finally opening the door with your hair pinned up and in that thin tank top that barely held your soft breast that he could clearly see how hardened they now became with the cold breeze from the hallway and those just as thin shorts. He could barely imagine how anything didnât slip out when you slept but he wouldn't mind finding out if he needed to.
There you two sat in the living room as you cried your eyes out about how so many things had been disappearing in your household and how you began thinking someone had been stalking you and little did you know it was Suguru, the one many you truly trusted in this entire place. As he listened to your rant he could care less about what you said but was mesmerized by the cute pout on your lips as your eyes stained with tears and the way your soft breasts sat against his chest to the point he could practically feel the way your nipples swelled against him.
âWant me to sleep with you, I heard it helps?â, he offers right away watching the way your cries come to halt and to his pleasure you accept immediately as you end up laying in his arms that night. He tried to be as respectful as possible but he could barely contain himself how close you were laying beside him.
He loved every part of you as you two slept together from the smell of honey and coconut oil from that shampoo you used, the soft feel of your skin under his palm and the way the plush flesh was under him. If he could he would have you right there as he trailed kisses and even bite at your skin while you moaned his name to let him touch you. But, he stuck with a rather lingering touch as he trailed the tips of his fingers against your shoulder as he brought the tips down to your bare thigh feeling the way you shivered and trembled as his cock began to grow simultaneously.
ᥣđ© âąïœĄêȘৠËâ
For a few more nights this became a usual routine where you would text him to come over and give you some support for the night and oh did it turn Sugruru on to how clueless you were.Â
For each new night he would stay over he grew more comfortable in your space, some nights he would even ask to take a shower before you two would sleep together just so he could get a feel or smell of everything in your bathroom with his specially favorites were getting to smell the sweet floral scents of your products as he could spend hours worth looking over them and imaging the way the smell would radiate against your skin as he stood next to you or when youâll be splayed bare in front of him with the smells of circus and vanilla as he eats you out.Â
âFuckâ, were all the words he could muster as he laid in his own bed back in his apartment palming his hardened cock vigruosly under his fist. He doesnât know why but he was pissed for the entire week, he would see you every once in a while as you two shared good mornings or good nights but never once did you ask him to come back to your apartment.Â
Were you seeing another guy? Did you realize you didnât need him anymore? Even worse, did you find out he happened to be your stalker?! These were all the thoughts that ran through his mind but he couldnât stop the same thoughts that clouded his mind as he felt his own release coming.
His dirty and perverted mind had now imagined you on top of telling him of how dirty of a man he was for snooping around your apartment as you spat words of degradation as you rode him out but only seemed to endear him more as he finally came over the edge with his sticky white cream painted all over the sheets. âFuck now I need to go wash this shitâ, Suguru thought to himself as he turned on his bed side lamp beginning to take the now stained and wet sheets of his bed when he heard soft whines and cries from the wall pressed against his bedside where he knew your own bedroom was.Â
There he sat eagerly as he pressed his ear against the wall, he felt practically stupid like this but he couldnât give a shit with the way he heard your whimpers for more as if someone else was there, yet he heard no other voices. But what really spiked his interest was when he heard your name come from his lips. He heard you say it a million times before but never like this, and he knew exactly what he wanted to do.
ᥣđ© âąïœĄêȘৠËâ
You were rushing to get your clothes back on from where they laid below your knees with your fingers between your thighs just about to reach your climax before that damn bell. âFuck, who the hell is ringing the bell that many timesâ. Shuffling out of the sheets and putting on your night robe to hide anything else that may have been revealing in her nightwear she finally approached the door with a deep sigh.Â
âSuguru?â, you gasped upon seeing your next door neighbor. What the hell was he here for? Were you being too loud and he wanted to complain about the disturbance? Instinctively you pulled up the door after one last over at your appearance when you saw Suguru you didn't even realize as a small gasp left your lips seeing him. He looked completely tired, and slightly disheveled in his gray sweatpants and the black sweater he was wearing with his hair down.Â
âI heard you?â, he spoke without hesitation as he looked at your attire with a small smirk already on his face. You were shocked with those words and could barely look him in the eye as the words came from his lips. He had caught you, you assumed he must have heard the loud moans of you fucking yourself thinking of him. God! What if he heard you saying his name?! But those thoughts are blurred as he continues to stand there now voicing his concern. âWant some company?â
ᥣđ© âąïœĄêȘৠËâ
Now Suguru had you splayed on your bed in front of him your clothes he helped take off of you left somewhere on the floor of your bedroom as he was now able to see everything like the hickeys he lifted along your chest and thighs still bright and reddened against your skin. As he sat there and watched your two fingers seeth within your walls the soft gasp from your lips was like music to his ears. âKeep going baby, you got it.â, he edges you on further as he presses a kiss against your thigh for encouragement and endearment. And he's just as pleased for what you do next as you put in a third finger beginning a few long and languid pumps in and out.
âHow about you say my name, like I heard you back in my apartmentâ, he spoke as he continued to watch you and even with the slight embarrassment realizing he had heard you, you can't disagree as you do as you're told. Now you were knuckling deep fingers buried deep within your walls moaning Suguruâs name all as he watched. But before you could finish he asks you to stop as he's now on his knees before you. And only from there are you put even more over the edge as your fingers are now replaced with his tongue already flicking against your clit.Â
It was even worse when he thought it was a good idea to add in his digits as well, his fingers thick yet careful to make sure he reaches all the right places and hear each moan that erupted from your lips because of it.
His motions remain calculated as he continues the soft and wet sounds of your cunt mixed in with your whimpers and his heavy breathing. And Suguru couldn't get enough watching as you finally reached the edge and his motions increased until he watched the way your back arched against your sheets.Â
âOne more thing sweetheartâ, he voiced and without even a second to breath or think he's already over you with his heavy and still hard cock in your face. âI did you a favor, and I hope you can do the same.â As he waited to see what you would do next he was already stroking his thick cock clearly needy for you to give him the pleasure he needed. âCome on, I know you want it baby.â, he pleaded, taking your face in between his hands squeezing your cheeks so your pretty lips are already on the tip of his member.Â
So as you latch onto the tip of his cock you can feel the way he twitches against your tongue feeling the entire weight of it against your lips.Â
You couldnât even begin to understand how many nights Suguru dreamed of this exact moment as he now watches the way drool dribbles off the side of your chin. âGood girl, keep it nice and slow.â, he spoke to you and did as you were told, bopping your head back and forth along his shaft tongue swirling around the thick tip that you could already feel twitching against your lips.Â
âFuck, you feel so good. Open up wide for me. Alright?â, he spoke eagerly, eye lids already drooping low as he could feel his orgasm come. And ever so willingly you only continued to suck harder rubbing your other palm against his soft balls and letting your other hand trail along his chest dragging it down to where his trail began feeling the way he shivered under your ever so warm touch.
So finally without second notice he finished right in your mouth with warm white semen coating the insides of your mouth and already beginning to drip now on your cheek.Â
âYou did amazing, now smile for the camera baby.â, he smirked as a small click came from his phone camera letting you know he now had a picture of you with your lips covered in his juices all at his disposal just like you were now.
#fanfic#anime#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#x reader fics#geto suguru#jjk suguru#suguru geto smut#jjk#geto x reader#suguru geto x reader
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mwah! (k. sn)
Ë "just bored, nothing else" àżàŸ ââ· kim sunoo x reader genre : bro is your bestfriend, bestfriends to lovers (kinda..), inspired by that one sunoo live LOL, not proofread, kiss kiss kiss w/c : ~2.1k cly's note : finally back with something! god guys i'm so fucking sorry for being so inactive. i know i promised that i'd release my hyunjin fic very soon but i just had to write something else to get me back to writing altogether yknow? i hope you guys like this one, im insanely rusty and my kissing scenes are NAWT IT, but regardless hope ya'll enjoy it. wrote this all in one sitting, my ass hurts, if you enjoyed it, please do reblog like and comment! ANYWAYS GN.
border isn't made by me, credits to cafekitsune
The doorbell rang and you raised your eyebrows, looking at everything in sight as you patiently wait for the door to swing open. And it does after a while, and your bestfriend was heavily panting, his posture slightly slouched as he processed that you were here. "You're.. here," he managed to voice out through his heavy panting and you give him a small smile while your eyes lit up at him, "I am".
"Come in, kept you waitin', sorry," he spoke in short sentences, his voice still breathless as he stepped aside from the door, making space for you to walk in and you nod, stepping foot into his house and now being hit with the unfamiliar scent of his apartment. His new apartment. Sunoo had recently moved, and he invited you over because he wanted to show you around his house, catch up with you, y'know, stuff like that.
He was your best friend for a while, a few years, and as much as you admire him as a friend, you also wanted him real bad. Like reeal bad. He has stolen your heart since the first time you saw it and the boy's completely clueless about it, everything he does to you leaving you to question if he did it on purpose to hint something or if he was just being clueless.
He'd always invited you over to his house to hang, play games, stuff like that, but with him moving and his academic workload accumulating, he had been busy and had lesser time to see you, and today was finally the day you could see him after a few weeks. You glanced at the boy who watched you walk in and took the opportunity to ruffle his golden hair, voicing out a "How have you been?".
He smiles at you and slowly closes the front door behind you and locking it. "Good, just been a bit stressful lately, 'bout you?". You turned back to the sight of his new apartment, the same paintings that were hung on a different wall and old furniture that blended in with some new furniture you've never seen before.
"Great. Seems like you've finished moving in, how's it like so far?" you question, walking in more towards the living room, now setting yourself on the couch and looking at the light that was hanging above you.
"Been amazing so far! It gets tough without mama sometimes, but I can cope," he follows you but stands in front of you instead of sitting himself down, "Could I get you anything? Apple juice, orange, water". He remains silent before continuing, "Probably an apple juice right? Your favourite."
Your gaze fixates on him from the hanging lights, the image of him in your brain being refreshed as you took view of his facial features, his blonde hair slightly messy and his lips looking plump and kissable as ever. His lips slightly agape as he eventually started to catch his breath and his eyes looking down on you. You gulp at this sight of him, you almost forgot how beautiful looked and before you could go into a daze about how attractive he looked, you slowly nodded your head, a small smile forming on your face as he recalled your favourite joke, even if it was normal for best friends to remember these types of things.
"Okay, gotcha." was the last thing he said before walking towards his refrigerator. Your eyes followed his every move, the way he opened the refrigerator door, the way he pulled out a carton and closing the refrigerator before pouring the drink into a glass up that was conveniently placed on the counter near him. Your eyes lingered onto the magnets on his refrigerator when he closed it, recognising a photo that was nicely placed in the centre with 2 magnets at opposite corners.
"You still have that?" you pointed at the photo, and Sunoo turned his head over his shoulder, glancing at you before following where you were pointing to, and his eyes land on the photo. The corners of his mouth curl up before he placed the carton down, "Yeah, why wouldn't I?".
It was a photo of you and him in a party, sitting on a couch while posing with peace signs on both hands. It was when you two had first met when people had introduced you to each other or when you practically begged people to introduce you to him . The way you two clicked so fast is quite scary, and from then on you two were quite inseperable.
"I just think it's surprising," you reply, "Out of all the photos we have, you decide to put that one, y'know?".
"It's a special day," he instantly replies, turning his back with a cup of apple juice in his hand. He made his way to you and you raise your eyebrows at his response, "Special?". Your heart fluttered at the thought of him considering a day with you special, and you almost gave it away by putting the most stupid smile on your face, but it took every ounce of self-control inside you not to do so.
"It is the day we met after all," he sat beside you, offering you the cup of apple juice that you had requested. Your eyes slightly widened, and a small smile creeping onto your face as you register what he said. You hastily took the cup into your hand, "You care about those types of things? Like, first days, first meetings, stuff like that?". Everytime you meet him, he always seems to surprise you with something new with no fail, and that's one part you like so much about him.
He hummed, his approving sound accompanied with a small nod and you took a sip of the apple juice. The sweetness immediately hit your taste bud and you quickly swallowed, voicing out a quick 'Ahh' after the refreshing sip. Your eyes look at him and you realise he was already looking at you and it made your heart skip a beat.
"Why're you looking at me like that?" you chuckled, lowering the cup from your face as you flash him a grin. He quickly looked away, a faint smile on his face, "Just missed you".
There he goes again, saying things like that. Is he doing that with a purpose? Like to flirt with you, or is the boy just being genuine? Clueless?
You choked on your drink, his response being the last thing you expected and you shot him a bewildered look. He laughs at you choking, probably enjoying how he managed to get a reaction out of you and you glared at him.
"Are you just teasing me or what?" you questioned, placing your glass cup on the small coffee table in frornt of you.
"I am," he giggled, "I'm kinda bored so it's quite funny to tease you".
Oh yeah?
"Hey," you call out to him, your tone suddenly serious and his laughs die down, his eyes slowly moving to you "I'm bored too".
His eyebrows raised, feeling confused as to where this was going.
"Since we're bored, should we kiss?"
He chokes on the air, his hand flying to his mouth as he looked away from you. You gently patted his back as if you weren't the one who just dropped a 'let's-kiss' bomb on him, a smirk forming on your lips. Once he stopped coughing, he looked back at you, his cheeks a bright tint of pink and his eyes slightly widened, "W-what did you say?".
You looked at him with an amused expression, "I said, let's kiss." You honestly have no idea where this ounce of confidence came from, but if he wanna tease you, he can only get the taste of his own medicine right?
He started to stutter, his gaze being everywhere but on you as he started to scratch his neck, the way he was so flustered being so painfully obvious as you chuckle.
"I'm just kidding," you said. As much as you wanted to kiss him, your intentions were only to tease him back. Upon hearing you, his eyes shot to you, his eyes showing that he was slightly disappointed, "Why?".
"What do you mean?" you questioned. "Why were you 'just kidding'?" "What, do you want an actual kiss or something?" "Yeah.. Yeah, I do."
Now it was your turn to be flustered. You looked at him with widened eyes, your jaw quite literally dropping as you stared at him, taking a moment to process his reply. Sunoo wanted a kiss? And he just openly admitted it?
"Sunoo, quit the teasing, it's not funny at this point." "Who says I'm teasing? I'm being serious, Y/N".
Fucking hell, no fucking way Sunoo admitted that he wanted to kiss you. "O-okay wait, so you're serious about wanting a kiss from me, right?" you questioned, wanting confirmation and that you weren't just dreaming.
"Yes, I want a kiss from you, a kiss from your lips Y/N".
You blink at him repetitively before unconsciously standing up to your feet from the couch, your eyes still fixated on him.
"This feels so wrong," you nervously bit your lip and he sat up and reached out to gently hold your wrist, slightly pulling you towards him, "It isn't, don't worry".
"Do you really want this, Nu?" you spat out, suddenly feeling doubtful about everything and anxiety grew inside you. He gently tugged at your arm, causing you to look at him and he replied, "Been wanting this since forever".
If you said that your heart wasn't going to explode, you'd be lying. Your breathing rate picked up as your chest rises up and down hastily, and your gaze fall on his lips that were slightly parted. You looked back up at his eyes and you immediately notice his eyes on your lips. Your free hand cups his cheek, and you quickly voice out "Me too, Nu" before leaning in and closing the distance between the two of you.
His hand immediately released your wrist, his hands immediately finding comfort on your waist as he pulled you closer. The kiss was slow, passionate as both of your mouths moved in the same rhythm. You could feel him smile during the kiss and you slightly tilt his head to help you get more access to his mouth. Butterflies filled your stomach as you finally process that you were kissing your bestfriend, you were kissing Sunoo. The kiss was so passionate, and it was now evident that you two have been dying for this moment. The longing for each other added fuel to the fire, and your hands gradually make way to his hair, lightly pulling on it.
The surroundings around the two of you slowly start to seem non-existent as you both increasingly melt into each other. At this point of time, only you and Sunoo mattered, nothing else. He nibbled on your bottom lip, causing you to gasp and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside your mouth, exploring your mouth as much as he can. Both of your tongues fought a fiery battle for dominance, and to no surprise, he won. The kiss was becoming so heated and intense, and before things could escalate, your hands quickly trail down to his chest and you slightly push him backwards, pulling away from the kiss.
Both of your chests rise up rapidly as your foreheads rest on each other. Eye contact was maintained as you both looked into each other's eyes. "Did.. did that just happen?" you question, still trying to catch your breath as you remain in shock as to what just happened.
"Fuck yeah, been wanting that for so long you don't even know," he confessed. A smirk forms on his lips as his eyes quickly flicker to your lips then back to your eyes. You chuckle as you close your eyes, your head leaning on him even more.
You pull away completely to sit on the spot beside him on the couch, your eyes still on him and you shook your head, "How long exactly?"
"Since I first met you." he responded, his answer once again never failing to surprise you.
"Mutual feeling then," you confessed, your breathing slowing down as you finally manage to catch your breath. He seemed shocked by the fact, but he definitely wasn't complaining.
"Since you care about first's so much, then consider that our first kiss, yeah?" you chuckled. "Sure thing, just know it won't be our last."
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Maybe In A Different Age
Senku/fem reader
cw: angst no comfort (i tried) ik this fandom kinda dead lowkey but I wanted to write this cause its so senku coded. Senku's an idiot (unsuprisingly). Not very good writing.
wc: uhh i wrote this in my notes, around 1k probably
-
Byakuya brings two strangers into their house on a random thursday.
"Senku, this is a close friend and her daughter, I'm sure you guys will get along splendidly."
"Ok."
Five year old Senku is harshly blunt when he meets you for the first time, staring at him silently as if you've never seen a human before. He doesn't have anything to say and it seems neither do you, so he walks off, deciding he has better things to do. Promptly ignoring the sigh and apology the older man lets out.
.
"So I got this new idea and I'm going through the basic logistics and research right now, might need your help later."
"I'll go get us some snacks and something to do while you work on it then."
Six year old Senku watches you dissappear from his doorway, absentmindedly humming while you head to the very familiar kitchen. Your family has been apparently busy as of late so he forcibly sees your face more often. You usually just eat his food, do your work, and ask him (dumb) questions. You're a friend now, he supposes.
.
"Hey dum dum, Byakuya got me new equipment, so I have some new ideas. So listen up."
"Course Senku!"
Seven year old Senku grins, you're always willing to help him out for whatever reason you have (something weird probably, in his opinion). In return, he always tells you what he's working on and his labor demands. So per usual, he excitedly gets into the details of the next project that he plans on working you and Taiju to the bone for.
.
"Hey Senku?"
"What?"
"I think I love you."
"Huh? You better not be catching feelings dum dum." He gives you a confused squint after hearing your words.
"Whatever you say." You hum
Eight year old Senku hears you say those three words for the first time, you don't say why and he doesn't know either. He thinks its rather idiotic, but he shrugs it off after you silently go back to reading. You've been picking up books more often as of late, not that he cares much.
.
"You're late for the test runs, Taiju and Yuzuriha already left."
"Sorry sorry! My teacher held me up a little later at practice today."
"Hm." His disappointed stare returns.
"Im sorry..? Love you?" You're sheepish with your response.
"How is that supposed to make up for anything? Now come help me carry this stuff"
"As you wish, princess Senku."
Nine year old Senku doesn't understand why you and Byakuya tell him that so often (or that stupid nickname sourced from his "feebleness"), but he moves on quickly to detail the results of the test and the numerous next steps. Much to his pleasure.
.
"Wake up stupid. You fell asleep." Senku (roughly) shakes you awake from your shoulders, poking at your face a few times.
"Huh? Oh sorry Senku, I guess I'm just tired."
"Well you're not gonna wanna miss this." He grins while looking up, expectant.
"Hm. Hey the moons pretty tonight yeah?"
"It looks the same as it always does. Is that poetry getting to you and making you sappy?"
You wait before responding, "Maybe."
Eleven year old Senku keeps you up on certain nights for his projects or for nights like these where there's a meteor shower. He thinks you should stop reading so much of those books that make you sound like Byakuya. You should also get more rest, he adds.
.
"Happy Valentines Day Senku!! Got you a gift, heh."
"Must I tell you again?" Senku turns to a usual sight, you waving a gift in front of his face as if he were a dog.
"I'm good I just wanted to remind you."
"Right."
Twelve year old Senku doesn't see the point in meaningless feelings or holidays for said feelings. Nevertheless, he takes the homemade chocolate from you, skimming through the card which contents include exactly what he expected (a confession of sorts, again), and placing it to the side. Ignoring it in favor of the much more sensible chemicals in front of him. Like every year though, Senku keeps it. He doesn't know why.
.
"Taiju and Yuzuriha definitely have something going on don't you think?"
"And you're bringing this up why?"
You pause, you know why, but you know he wouldn't understand. "It's cute... wish I could have something like that you know?"
"...For the last time-"
"I know I know Senku, don't worry I'll try to bother you less."
Thirteen year old Senku doesn't see you as much anymore, mostly because of your practice that your mom wants you to perfect. You come over less nowadays, a shame (for his projects obviously), but your presence isn't any smaller of an intrusion at school. So much for bothering him less.
.
Around 21:00 is when he hears the familiar ringing of his doorbell. "It's late, why are you here?"
"Got out of training not too long ago and wanted to see you before I headed in."
"Your house isn't even remotely close to mine" A raised eyebrow is all you get in response to your grin.
"What does it matter when I'm already here, but gotta go before I get scolded. Goodnight Senku, Love you!"
"You know it's never gonna happen, as you know-"
"Yeah yeah, 10 billion percent illogical, I know, but I can't let my favorite person forget can I?" You flash another smile.
"As if I'd ever with how often you say it, now goodnight."
Fourteen year old Senku closes the door after you've cheerfully said your bye and faded from his sight enough. The lack of noise is strange, now that Byakuya has "ascended like an angel" (his words not Senkus) it's much quieter. The usual noise of a certain two people is absent more often than not. He let's the silence of the house sit in.
.
"Hey, can you get me something from the storage real quick? Need it soon but that bonehead forgot when he came up here babbling about confessing to Yuzuriha"
"Of course. I'd do anything for you. Always here. You know that Sen."
Fifteen year old Senku glances at your fleeting figure. The nickname is new, for sure. And he can't say he dislikes it, but the lack of a certain three words with your departure is strange. He brushes it off to your usual forgetfulness and peers out the window at Taiju and Yuzuriha. Thoughts preoccupied until a bright green light overtakes his vision and he can't do anything but think into the void.
So he counts.
And maybe every once in a while you pop into his head like you always do.
.
Three-thousand and something year old Senku wakes up to a world where theres a lack of civilization, a lack of his decency, and most importantly, a lack of you.
You would be useful right now, he supposes.
.
Three-thousand and something year old Senku spends his free time trying to find you and the rest of the "gang" (as you would say).
He finds Taiju, he finds Yuzuriha, he also finds a lion-punching maniac, but there's no sign of you.
He's ten billion percent sure you survived.
Right?
The concerned stare Yuzuriha gives him as they part is ignored.
.
(Physically) Sixteen year old Senku celebrates this birthday gazing into the sky from his new observatory. It reminds him of a lot of things, but he can't help but notice how empty it is, it's eerily quiet.
He doesn't like it.
Senku wishes you were here.
His first real birthday wish.
.
(Still) Sixteen year old Senku breaks when he hears his father's voice again for the first time in ages. It's not his voice that gets to Senku. He's heard it plenty enough in his lifetime. It's the mention of you.
"Just kidding! I know it's you on the other side of this Senku! And ____'s there with you right? Please tell me you're dating already or even better married so I can have grandchildren. Please please please Senku! Although you can't really tell me that but-"
Senku stops himself from showing vulnerability in front of the village, and he also stops himself from pausing the record right there and then. Opting to sigh and curse his dad out as a cover up, his fist lightly punching the table.
"Damn you old man."
The questions from the villagers about who you could be are forgotten in favor of an angelic voice. Senku's quick to tune it out. It reminds him of you.
.
(Mentally) Sixteen year old Senku sits by himself that night. It's been a long day. The constant repeat of a certain melody in the background, more work for the science kingdom, and a few questions about who you were. They stopped after a few radio silences from him, feelings are hard for the scientist after all.
It's cold.
He wishes you were here.
It's dark.
He wishes you were here.
It's lonely.
He wishes you were here.
The day he can always guarantee you're there has long passed. You should be here, is what his mind tells him. You owe him for the past 3000 years of missed birthdays after all.
It's funny, in his opinion. That you were probably most-definitely always there. And the one (multiple actually, 10 billion in his mind) time he looks for you, you're not there.
He doesn't think its funny.
"I'd do anything for you huh..."
Anything but keep your word.
He scoffs, but it's directed at himself. He would never blame you for this, or anything for that matter, he can't.
So he sits. And he stays. Like you would've wanted him too. He looks at the clear sky like you usually do. And he notes how the moon is pretty tonight. Just like you.
"I love you too."
He's 10 billion percent sure he does.
-
Thanks for reading, if you did :). Sorry for any errors not fully proofread. Senku is so right person wrong time coded when it comes to romance that i had to write this even if its lowkey bad
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way down we go: the aftermath (i)
a/n: hi!! I love this AU and im so happy that y'all liked it!! i know i said that there wouldn't really be a long fic continuation but i think this AU has some real potential and so im back lmao, it's been a while
word count: 1.9k
warning(s): agatha is a serial killer - psychological manipulation (kind of) - đ đ¶ïž - i have no real clue how police and stuff works this is so fiction - rushed ending im sorry - this might be bad but hey! i wrote something (oh and, first time writing anything remotely spicy on this blog so please be kind)
pairing(s): serial killer!Agatha Harkness x forensic scientist!reader
way down we go & way down we go ii
The trial came and went, a passing memory in your mind, pushed away so you wouldn't see her eyes boring into your dreams.Â
It didn't work.Â
Every night since you sat as a witness against Agatha, blue eyes followed you to sleep, haunting you with their coldness. Every night you woke up in a cold sweat, a phantom knife held to your throat.Â
This night wasn't different as you shot out of bed with a gasp, a sheen of sweat covering your skin. Checking the time, you allowed yourself a bit of gratitude at the amount of sleep you got this night.Â
Deciding to get into work early to examine bone samples of a cold case that you had reopened, you stretched and walked to your bathroom to get ready. It was a numbing experience, Agatha's humming no longer filling the air to sooth your mind. Soon, you found yourself in your car on the road. As you pulled into the parking garage of the building, a feeling akin to dread pooled in your stomach. Never before did the cold, dark atmosphere of the garage haunt you, follow you, as it did right then. You parked, in your regular spot, a sense of normalcy that did little to calm your nerves.Â
Agatha had claimed insanity, a response to the abuse and PTSD given to her by her own mother, a claim that had kept her off of death row. You would never admit to anyone that you were relieved, relieved that the woman you loved for so long wouldnât meet her end in a dark room strapped to an inhumane device. However, unless you made the decision to visit, Agatha would spend the rest of her days in a federal prison.Â
When you got out of your car, you had the feeling of being watched, a feeling you knew all too well. But when you looked around, no one was there. However, a fluttering noise caught your attention, drawing you to the concrete pillar next to your spot. A piece of paper, duck taped, fluttered in the small gusts of wind. You tore it off, opening the folded paper and promptly dropping it onto the ground below.Â
You knew that handwriting.Â
Before the note could be taken away with the wind, you crouched on the ground, picking up the paper and leaning against the pillar as you read.Â
You wonât find anything with the bones, theyâre old and dry: useless. Go back to where they were found, letâs see what you discover there. See you soon, my darling.Â
~ A
It felt like years could pass and you were stuck in place. Millions of questions ran through your mind as your hands gripped the letter in a vice like grip.Â
How did she know what you were doing?
How did she know about the bones?
How did she send this letter?
How, how, how?
No answers entered your mind, you could think of no way, no reason, that Agatha couldâve accomplished this. But curiosity prevailed and you stood up, making your way back into the driver's seat.Â
This cold case has been the bane of your existence for far too long. Only bits of bones were found, a shallow grave that was old when discovered. No one had ever found the skull, let alone enough for a full skeleton. It was like the second the bones were discovered the case ran cold. Even if it was your wi- even if it was Agatha bringing to light new possible discoveries, you would take it. Solving this case could get you back on your feet, as you had been hiding in your lab in the months of Agathaâs trial. You entered the address of the crime scene, a long abandoned park and walking path thirty minutes away, into your GPS and drove away.Â
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The air was almost still with anticipation as you walked the path. The bits of bones had been found only a few hundred feet away and you felt a pull towards the spot. But as you got closer, you saw a stick standing straight up in the ground, marking the exact location of the shallow grave. On it was another piece of paper, with words that sent you falling to your knees, digging in the soft dirt with your hands,Â
Here lies Evanora Harkness, first to die, the one with no regret.Â
Dirt clung to your nails, roots stung against your skin as you clawed the ground away, making it past the spot where the initial grave ended. But as you kept going, you came across smaller bones. A body of a long decomposed rabbit lay in front of you, something to throw search dogs off their scent. You kept digging. You dug until your arms burnt with the strain, until your arms were covered in a thin layer of the earth. You dug until you found it.Â
The skull.Â
Its position in the ground told you how the body had been buried. Methodically, of course, but as if Evanora was standing up in the ground, arms stretched to the sky. The finger bones were what you had collected years previous.Â
As you held the skull in your hands, you felt an indent on the jaw. A cut from her throat, sloppy with the hands of someone first committing murder. This really was Agathaâs first victim. But why had she led you here, how did she lead you here? One more body equaled another life sentence, no chance of ever seeing daylight again.Â
Your phone started ringing, the horrible service on the walking path letting a stray call through. You answered, but Darcyâs voice barely made it over the static.Â
âTurn on the news!â Was all you could hear before the call fell through.Â
The panic in your colleagues and friendâs voice made you stand with haste, putting the skull back into the ground and frantically pushing the dirt back into the hole. You grabbed the stick, breaking it and throwing it off the trail as you crumbled up the note, stuffing it in your back pocket.Â
There was a gas station almost right outside the park. You rushed in, your mind going a thousand miles per hour. Why would Darcy want you to turn on the news? You had your answer almost the second you crossed the threshold. A group of people stood in front of the cashier, who had a small TV hanging above their head. The news was playing, a somber looking reporter standing in front of a landscape covered with tape and police cars.Â
âEarlier this week, a mass confusion occurred outside Salem Penitentiary. Law enforcement said that, at the time, they didnât know how bad the damage was. But now, as reports flood in, they have no choice but to release what really happened. A prison break. Some two hundredâŠâÂ
Her voice trailed off in your mind, muffled by your shock.Â
The notes, the feeling of being watched, the cold case.Â
Agatha had escaped.Â
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The drive back home was loud. You blasted music, yelled at others on the road, honked at people to get out of your way. When you pulled into your driveway, it was like a wave of deja vu crashed over you. The car went silent as you turned it off, your eyes never leaving the shadow in the window. Slowly, you got out of the car, your heart practically beating out of your chest. You opened the front door, the silent aura of your home expectant as you walked further into your house. In the living room, it was like history repeating itself. Except this time, your wife held no wine and had no knife. She wore clothes from the closet you couldnât bear to clean out, looked like she had recently taken a shower - something you were suddenly very aware you needed, but her eyes stayed the same. Cold and blue, boring into you. You steeled yourself, not letting your eyes fall from hers as you approached her. Agatha just watched until you were a foot in front of her, she uncrossed her legs and spread her arms out like she wanted a hug. You hated how fast you folded, rushing to straddle her lap and wrap your arms around her. Burying your face into her neck, you felt tears build up in your eyes. For a moment, you would let yourself pretend. Pretend that your wife wasnât a serial killer, pretend that she hadnât been in prison for months, pretend that it was all a bad dream and she was consoling you.Â
âOh how I missed you, darling,â her voice sent chills down your spine. It held overwhelming affection, but she spoke as if detached. It was then you realized the last time she had seen you was when you sat the witness stand, giving the evidence to put her away for lifetimes. You leaned back, letting your arms rest on her shoulders as you stared at her. Her eyes examined you, running over the bags under your eyes, the dirt layering the skin on your arms. Seeing the concern in her eyes made something in your mind crumble.Â
Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, right? And honestly, her victims had no one to miss them so-
You internally shook your head at yourself. No, you couldnât think like that, you couldnât-
Your train of thought was interrupted by Agathaâs hands cupping your face. You brought up your hands to cover hers, tears now streaming down your face.Â
âI-Iâm sorry,â you choked out, noticing how something in Agathaâs eyes softened at your words, âI thought I was doing the right thing, I didnât want-â
She cut you off with a light kiss, which deepened as her grip on your face grew tighter. Soon, your lips were crashing against hers with a ferocity you had missed. Craved. She leaned forward, wrapping her arms around you as she stood. Never once breaking the kiss. She brought you to the spot you stood all those months ago, pressing you against the wall as she kissed down your neck, sucking lightly at your collarbone.Â
âAgatha-â
âDid you miss me?â She cut you off with a bite to your shoulder, pushing your sleeve down your arm with strength that almost tore the seams. You let out a breathy gasp, surprised.Â
âI,â you swallowed, about to admit something out loud that you had only thought for months, âI did, I do, I miss you so much.â The tears came back, flooding your eyes and choking your words. Agatha looked up, slowly letting you down so you could stand as she put one arm by your head.Â
âIâm right here, I donât plan on leaving you alone for a long time.âÂ
The smile she gave you was shark like, all teeth. You were her prey and you fell right into her trap. Her free hand trailed down your body, coming to pause over the buttons on your pants. She circled the metal, tapping it as she spoke.Â
âNow, after our last conversation, I donât think you believe me when I say I missed you,â some part of you shuddered with guilt, she was right, you didnât believe her fully, âAnd I canât have that. Why donât I show you how much I missed you?âÂ
You gasped as she unbuttoned your pants, trailing her fingers down to the place that had been abandoned since Agatha went behind bars. She crashed her lips into yours again, licking the seam of your lips, begging to be let in. You parted your lips, allowing your wife to consume you. As her fingers pushed your underwear to the side, you wrapped your arms around Agathaâs neck tighter, raising one leg to hook around her hip.Â
Oh this was a bad idea.
a/n: hehe, hopfully this was ok?? my writing slump has been EVIL and im just now crawling out of it
#agatha harkness#agatha harkness x reader#agatha harkness x you#agatha harkness x female reader#agatha harkness fanfic
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Hi! Hello! I was wondering if you wrote any platonic hecs in twst? If you do, can you write gn!mc always finding a away to mention/talk about her home world? Maybe add a little bit of homesickness for angstđ.
Platonic hcs with the first years pls:>
Btw I really love you writing style!âĄ
AAAA oh my gosh thank you so much! I have no idea what im really doing aha...
Absolutely!!! here's a key:
Epel Ace Deuce Sebek Jack You
First year friend group + Reader who talks about home
They love you
they REALLY do
But this is excessive.
"Back at the farm we used to drink hot cider after a long day out in the snow, actually one time we-" "Heh.. like how my mom and I used to..." "Used to what?" "Oh its nothing... Just a tradition. We'd get together every Tuesday and go for bubble tea" "Oh..."
Epel understands feeling far from home, and he wants to try and relate with you but he doesn't know about half the stuff you're saying.
"hahah I got a higher score than you this time. Mayeb you shoulda studied a bit harder like lil ol me~" "Shut up Ace! It's a difference of like... two points!" "Two more points than you!" "oh you-" "My friends and I used to compare scores all the time, she always asked for help studying but.. haha she always got better grades than me."
They feel SO awkward when this happens
Deuce almost feels like he's showing off in some kind of way. He wants to be an honor student AND a good friend to you, so he's trying to creatre new memories with you, he's just having some trouble.
"Hey! I uh- I learned out to make one of Trey's tart! The one from the unbirthday party you liked so much?" "Oh thank you Deuce! It's kind of funny actually-" oh no,,, "My sibling and I used to bake for each other to say sorry."
Ace on the other hand is curious, but he kind of wishes you could be with the group sometimes.
"And then Lucius was like-- On top of Deuce- get this- while he was STILL sleeping" "No way..!" "Seriously?" "Hah- how pathetic, I NEVER fall asleep in Trein's... admittedly dull, lessons." "I used to have a dog, he could sleep anywhere"
And suddenly, it's quiet again...
Jack tries to keep your mind off things
He takes you out on relatively silent runs, he invites you to track meets, you can join or just watch him and Deuce! You've been looking a little down recently so, this makes sens to Jack, Deuce enjoys having you watch him run too, his friends give him extra motivation to beat his last personal best!
But... now you're crying?
Ohnowhatdoido.jpeg
Ace, Epel, and Sebek are on their way too, they wanted to do something nice for you and suprise you and -oh no...
They drop everything.
Your friends rush toward you, maybe you're hurt? you like... NEVER cry around them.
And suprisingly, Sebek can get you through the worst of it
"You're sad. and far from home. and that is hard. Especially for a pu ny huma-" "Sebek!!" "Right, uh... But we are here with you now. And we care for you."
"You're our best friend, I don't think anyone would be 'round here if it weren't for you."
"I don't feel as alone, riding solo just... wasnt it."
"'Sides, class isnt nearly as fun without you in it?"
"We really care about you, Prefect. You're our friend."
They gather around you, peacefully letting you cry after they let you know how muhc you mean to them.
"I just... I miss home so much..!"
#twisted wonderland#twistedwonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#ace trapolla x reader#deuce spade x reader#epel felmier x reader#sebek zigvolt x reader#jack howl x reader
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