#Illyrian equality

[aliciavance4228]

It's very weird that Illyrius is mentioned in exactly ONE source as the son of Cadmus, and there's no mother mentioned. And yet many people just consider him to be the son of Cadmus with Harmonia anyway (honestly same).

Apollodorus, Library:

"But Cadmus and Harmonia quitted Thebes and went to the Encheleans. As the Encheleans were being attacked by the Illyrians, the god declared by an oracle that they would get the better of the Illyrians if they had Cadmus and Harmonia as their leaders. They believed him, and made them their leaders against the Illyrians, and got the better of them. And Cadmus reigned over the Illyrians, and a son Illyrius was born to him. But afterwards he was, along with Harmonia, turned into a serpent and sent away by Zeus to the Elysian Fields."

"Yes, this man and his wife ruled this place for a while, and he had a son that became the king of it as well. No, we refuse to mention his mother just because."

[serpentandlily]

No Going Back - Azriel x Reader

No Going Back - Azriel x Cassian’sSister!Reader

Summary: Azriel has been your mate, your husband, your love for centuries. But a certain Archeron sister has him questioning your relationship after all this time. You soon find out that there are simply things that can not be unsaid or undone. And sometimes, there are things you can’t come back from.

Warnings: angst angst angst and a little violence

A/n: based on this request. this one hurt guys :(

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Azriel was late. 

Again.

You sighed, leaning back in your chair and tossing your napkin on the table. You had waited for him but at this point, the food was cold and your appetite had disappeared so you began to clear the table instead. 

It had been like this ever since the Archeron sisters had become permanent residents of the Night Court. For months now, your mate had been coming home late, skipping breakfast, leaving the bed before you even woke. He had become a scarce presence in this apartment, the one of the two of you had bought together years and years ago.

Tonight was no different. 

It had started out slow, innocent. Feyre’s sisters were having a hard time adjusting to their new lives and Elain had started clinging to Azriel at some point. You understood why. He was someone who wouldn’t push you more than you needed and would be there for you as a quiet, steady presence. 

You hadn’t minded it at first. Elain was clearly struggling a lot. But at some point, Azriel had begun to prioritize her over you. Whatever Elain needed always came first now. He had canceled dates, skipped out on dinners, left parties early—all for her. 

And it was starting to hurt.

You weren’t stupid nor naive. You knew what was happening. You were watching your mate slowly fall in love with someone else. 

Azriel had always liked playing the hero. First he was the hero for Mor, saving her when she had been discarded in Autumn, beaten and nearly dead. 

And then he was the hero for you. 

You were a bastard born Illyrian, ripped from their mother’s side as soon as you were able to complete chores on your own. You hadn’t known your father. Hadn’t even known you had a brother until he came storming the camp one day, looking for your mother. 

Cassian had almost killed you during his fit of rage once he had learned what your camp had done to your mother. He had gone on a killing spree, sparing no one until he came upon you. But he recognized your scent, took one look at you and immediately knew who you were in relation to him. 

You were only nine when he had saved you from that camp. Cassian took you that day and brought you home with him. Rhys’s mother took you in with no question but Cassian had practically raised you.

You had met Azriel and Rhysand that day as well but you had no idea what the shadowsinger was to you until years and years later. 

Once Rhysand was in power, he banned wing clipping. It pissed the Illyrian males off, of course, which led to them kidnapping you to try and clip your wings as a message for the High Lord, knowing Rhysand cared about you as much as he had cared for his own sister.

Their plan was to keep you locked up until they could get a hold of your brother, Cassian, to tie him up and make him watch what they would do to you. You were beaten within an inch of your life and kept in a cell for three days before Azriel rescued you.

You still remember the image of him stalking into your cell, his eyes lit with a feral rage. He looked like a dark Angel straight from Hell. The minute his gaze found yours, the mating bond snapped into place. 

Azriel saved you and your wings that day. And afterwards, he sat by your bedside night and day until you were fully healed. He held you through all the nightmares, waited patiently for you to be ready to accept the mating bond. And then he had trained you into a fortified spy and warrior, an equal. 

But none of that mattered now.

None of that mattered because now there was a new damsel that needed saving.

And it wasn't you.

Not anymore.

You pulled out your weapons bag from the closet and began to lay out your daggers and swords on the dining table. You had devised a plan to make Azriel feel more needed in your relationship because maybe that was what was lacking. At least, you hoped that's all this was. You hoped he wasn't truly falling in love with another female. 

Rhys had given you a job today that was supposed to be for both you and Azriel, but you were going to ask for his help—make him feel like you need him and hopefully that would make him come back to you. 

An hour later, you heard the front door open and close before his scent of cedar and night-chilled mist filled the apartment. You smiled, turning around to greet him. He gave you a half-smile in response. 

You stood on your tippy toes to kiss him as he passed by, but he swerved his head to the side, making your kiss land on his cheek instead. Your heart clenched as he walked away. 

"You're finally home," you said, trying to not let the hurt you felt seep into your tone. "I saved you some dinner if you're hungry."

He shook his head, sitting on the couch to unlace his boots. 

"That's alright. I already ate," he replied, barely looking at you.

Your fingers tightened around the dagger in your hand. Elain had cooked him dinner again, that much was obvious. Your smile dropped as the scent of jasmine and honey met your nose, only confirming your suspicions. 

Azriel strode to you now, looking over your shoulder at all the weapons on the table. 

"What's this?" 

"Rhys gave me a mission—some spy work in Hewn City," you said. "I was going to leave to complete it tomorrow but I was hoping you'd come with me. I could use the help." 

Azriel snorted. "When was the last time you needed help?”

You frowned as he breezed by you, heading towards the stairs that led to the loft where your bedroom was. "It's a high value, dangerous target. I guess I could do it alone but I would feel better if you were there with me."

"I can't, Y/n," he said, stopping at the bottom of the stairs to look at you. "I'm sorry. I already made plans with Elain."

Your heart dropped to your stomach. Here he was, once again picking Elain over you.

"Really? And you can't cancel those plans just for the day? I really need your help, Az."

"You don't," he said. "I trained you, babe. I know you don't need my help anymore." 

"Well maybe I just need you. It's that so bad? Maybe I just want to do this with you."

"I'm sorry, but Elain needs me."

You threw your hands in the air, your cheeks turning red. "What does Elain need that is so important that you can't reschedule it for a different day?" 

"She wants to go into the city. Wants to see more of Velaris. It's a huge step for her, Y/n. One she needs me for."

"And Feyre can't take her? Or Nesta? She has two sisters who are perfectly capable of showing her around Velaris."

"Well, she asked me," Azriel sighed. "And I already agreed."

"Why is it that you can bail on me all the time, miss dinners with me, skip out on our dates," you growled. "But the moment it comes to Elain, you won't even bother rescheduling a simple outing?"

Azriel narrowed his eyes at you and crossed his arms over his chest. "What exactly are you insinuating, Y/n?"

Your heart was pounding, a sick feeling in your stomach. How could he not see? How could he not see how much he was choosing her over you, his own mate?

"I'm just saying that you've been spending a lot of time with Elain," you argued. "I hardly see you anymore, Az. I just want my mate back." 

"Well, you're not the one who needs me right now, Y/n. You're not the one who's gone through immeasurable trauma. You're not the one who just barely stopped starving yourself. Elain needs help right now. Am I supposed to just turn my back on her after everything she's been through?"

You wanted to laugh. You would've if you weren't so upset. Elain wasn't the only person in Prythian to go through trauma. All of you had gone through so much. For him to disregard you like that… after everything… you felt your heart cracking into pieces. 

"She has her sisters to help her! Even Nuala and Cerridwen have been helping her adjust to life here! Why does she need you as well?"

"I can't believe you're acting like this," Azriel snarled. "I'm tired, Y/n. I don’t want to do this right now.”

"Acting like what? Acting upset because my mate is prioritizing someone else? Upset that my mate is barely home these days? Upset that my mate has been spending all his time with another female? How would you feel? How would you feel if I started spending all my time with another male, Azriel? How would you feel waking up to an empty bed, eating dinner alone while I was out with another guy?"

"It's not like that and you know it! Don't make this about you, Y/n. I thought you were better than that."

"Are you serious, Az? I have been nothing but patient and kind. I have given you so much grace. I have had to sit back and watch my mate cater to another female for months now. Months! And I only ask for one day. For you to come with me for one job and you can't even do that?" 

"Well, you can wait a little longer," Azriel said, his face cut from stone. "She needs me right now. Me. Not Feyre. Not Nesta. Not Nuala and Cerridwen. Me."

"What about her own godsdamn mate!"

"She doesn't want him and she owes him nothing. She doesn't want his help,” Azriel growled. You didn’t miss the flash of jealousy in his eyes that made your stomach twist.

"Of course she doesnt. Why would she when she can just use my mate instead? I can't believe you're picking her over me, Azriel."

"I'm not picking her over you! And I wouldn't."

"You already have! Each and every day you choose her over me. Why? Please, Azriel, explain it to me because I don't understand!"

"I already told you," Azriel growled. "She is going through a lot at the moment. You don't need me right now but she does."

"I don't care what she needs! I don't care! I'm tired of pretending like this doesn't bother me. She clearly has feelings for you and instead of discouraging her, instead of distancing yourself, you just keep running back to her! Why? You owe me an answer, Azriel!"

"I already told—”

"The truth, Azriel! Give me the fucking truth."

"Fine," Azriel snarled, his eyes going dark, his face as cold as the winter snow outside. 

The room was silent for a moment. Silent except for your heavy breathing, your heart still echoing in your chest. You felt like you were going to be sick. You hadn't expected to blow up like this but you couldn't take it anymore. 

Finally Azriel let out a sigh, deflating a bit. "I've been spending some time thinking… of us, of our family, of everything and I can't help… I can't help but think maybe the cauldron got things wrong. It doesn't make sense. Three sisters, three brothers. My brothers got two of the sisters but the other one is given to another? I can't help but question everything, Y/n. You have to understand. You know the cauldron doesn't always get things right… maybe it got this wrong."

With every word he spoke, your heart cracked more and more. You blinked in disbelief, staring at the male that you had called your love for over two hundred years now. A male you had built your life with, a male you were connected to in a very primal sense of the word. A male you had expected to be with forever.

And here he was, telling you he thinks the cauldron was wrong in making the two of you mates. Telling you that he thinks some other female should be his mate. He might as well stick a dagger straight through your heart. You were certain that would be less painful than this.

Gods, your ears were ringing. Tears lined your eyes. All of your paranoia the last few months, your feelings of inadequacy every time you saw Elain, the female he was spending all this time with over you, all of it was true. He had been falling in love with another girl… right in front of you and your family. 

"Say something," Azriel murmured. "Please."

You blinked, hugging yourself as his words replayed in your mind over and over again.

"Is that… Is that how you truly feel? Would you really rather have Elain as a mate? You think we shouldn't have been mated… that the cauldron made a mistake?"

"Fuck, I don't know! I don't know, Y/n. All I know is that my two brothers are mated to two sisters and the third… Elain.... I can't help but wonder if we would be better suited together. I'm sorry, Y/n, but you have to understand how it looks from my perspective. Please."

You shook your head, backing up. 

"So that's what you've been doing? Testing the waters? Seeing if she would be a better wife to you, a better partner?"

"No, fuck, this is coming out all wrong," Azriel groaned. "It didn't start out that way, please believe me, Y/n. I never intended on developing feelings for her. It just sort of happened naturally and I… I've just been trying to wrap my head around it all."

You couldn't breath, couldn't think.

Your mate, your husband, your one true love had fallen for another girl. Believed that he should be mated to her instead of you. 

Were you not good enough for him? Not pretty enough? Not powerful enough? What did Elain have that you didn’t?

"So you think that you and Elain should be mates. Your brothers got mated to two beautiful high fae females, and you… you're the one struck with some lowly Illyrian and not the other beautiful sister. So it must be a mistake, right?"

"Don't turn it into that, Y/n. Don't diminish it," Azriel snapped. "It has nothing to do with your looks or who is more beautiful or High Fae. I could care less about that shit."

"But it does, doesn't it? You already think you're so unworthy and this just proves it. To be mated to an Illyrian and not the third made sister."

"I knew I should've never talked to you about this," Azriel growled. "I was trying to figure it out on my own. I didn't want to hurt you, Y/n. I didn't want this to happen."

"Well it has and you did," you snapped. 

He had hurt you. Immensely so. 

Tears began to drip down your cheeks. Azriel took a step towards you at the sight of your tears but stopped himself. Your chest heaved as you turned around, staring out the window in your apartment to Velaris, where people were laughing and dancing on the streets. Partying, having the time of their lives, while yours was ending.

"Y/n—"

“Have you slept with her? Kissed her? Have you cheated on me with Elain?”

“I-I…Y/n, I’m sorry. Please—”

That was enough of an answer for you. You couldn’t even fathom the thought of kissing another male and here was Azriel, basically confessing that he fucked Elain behind your back.

You wanted to scream. Wanted to throw things at him. Wanted to tear this whole apartment down. 

"Get out."

"What?"

"Get out," you snapped. "Get out!"

You heard a resigned sigh before the front door opened and closed. He hadn't even tried to fight for you. Hadn't tried to make things better. He just left… left you falling apart, with no one to pick up the pieces of your breaking heart.

A sob finally broke out from your lips and you crumbled to the floor, crying your heart out. 

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You lingered in the shadows in the alleyway across from the illustrious bar in Hewn City. Your target had gone inside over an hour ago and you were waiting for him to leave so you could trail him back to his apartment. 

You knew you shouldn’t be here right now. You were being reckless. Your mind was still a mess from last night, your heart broken. Every breath came with a deep pain in your chest. You wanted nothing more than to go home and cry and cry… but you were hoping this would distract you from the pain Azriel had left you with.

You had tried tugging on the bond a little earlier but you were met with an obsidian wall. Azriel had completely closed you off and you knew that meant he was with Elain, pretending to be her mate instead of yours.

You squeezed your eyes shut, your breath trembling as a few tears slid down your cheeks. Was he fucking her right now? Bringing her flowers and kissing her the way he used to with you?

Why weren’t you enough for him? Why weren’t you the female he wanted? The cauldron had gifted the two of you a mating bond and still it wasn’t enough to make him want you apparently.

The door to the bar swinging open had you standing up straight. A handsome High Fae male walked out from it and your eyes narrowed on your target. You slinked away in the shadows, following him down the streets.

He turned a corner and you rushed to follow, twisting to face the dark alleyway only to see it empty. Your brows furrowed in confusion as you walked down the narrow path.

You were halfway down the dark alleyway when you felt the cold tip of a dagger press against your throat. It pricked your skin, causing blood to trickle down your neck.

“Well what do we have here? A little Illyrian female, all by herself,” his voice purred from behind you. “Did you think I didn’t notice you following me, little bird?”

He spun you around, pressing you back against the wall, dagger still at your throat.

You tried to use your magic but your siphons sputtered out. It took you a minute to realize that his dagger was coated in faebane. You let out a panicked cry, trying to kick him away but he only pressed his body further against you. 

You were so fucked. You tried to tug on the mating bond again, if only to reach Azriel so he could send help. But that obsidian wall was still there. 

“I know who you are,” the male murmured. “That bastard’s sister. The shadowsinger’s mate.”

“Let me go,” you snarled, trying to twist from his grip but he pressed his dagger against your neck harder, making you stop.

“I don’t think so,” he teased, smiling. “You and I are going to have a lot of fun together, sweetheart.” 

He spun you around again, pressing your face into the brick wall. You cried as you felt his dagger run down your wing.

You tugged and tugged on the mating bond. Only silence greeted you. 

“But first, I think you’d look so much prettier without these.”

You died at the first drag of his dagger down the base of your wing. Died as he dug that dagger into the tendon, ripping up the nerves and muscle. Died as he severed off your left wing before moving to your right. Died as excruciating pain rattled your entire body.

Died as you cried out for your mate, for your brother, for anyone to come save you as the male laughed at your pleas.

Died as you tugged and tugged on your mating bond, crying and pleading for Azriel over and over again only to be met with cold, bitter silence. 

You died in that alleyway before your heart had even stopped beating.

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Azriel grabbed the plate of brussel sprouts from Elain, nudging the kitchen door open with his shoulder, and walking into the dining room. He placed the plate on the dining table, smiling at Elain lightly as she followed him with a large bowl of mashed potatoes.

Rhysand, Feyre, Amren, Cassian and Nesta were already at the table, waiting. He took a seat next to Elain and Rhysand shot him a confused look. 

“Az, where’s Y/n?” 

Azriel shrugged. “Still on the mission you sent her on.”

“What?”

“The job in Hewn City?”

Rhysand looked even more confused. “Why aren’t you with her? I specifically told her not to go alone–to take you with her. This was a two person job.”

“She didn’t tell me that,” Azriel said, also confused.

“Wait, what’s going on?” Cassian asked. 

“I gave your sister a report about some happenings in Hewn City that I needed her and Azriel to check out. But I made it very clear that it was a job with a dangerous target. What did she say to you about it, Azriel?”

Azriel felt his face heat up as all the attention fell on him. “She asked me to go with her but I was meant to take Elain into the city today so I told her I couldn’t. She never told me that you ordered her to take me with her.” 

Rhysand cursed, standing up. Cassian jolted at Rhysand’s reaction, also standing up in a panic. 

“She asked you to go and you told her no?” Cassian asked, his voice darker now as he stared at his sister’s mate. “Why the fuck would you let her go alone if she asked you for help?”

“I didn’t think she would need help,” Azriel said, carefully, also rising from his seat. “She didn’t tell me that Rhys said it was dangerous!”

“She shouldn’t need to! My sister asked you for your help, your mate asked you for help, and you told her no? Why the fuck would you do that?”

“Elain needed help,” Azriel argued back. 

Elain’s cheeks turned red as the attention drifted to her for a second. “I just wanted to see more of the city. I’m sorry.”

“Why didn’t you ask one of us to take her?” Feyre questioned, staring at Azriel with an odd look. “I could’ve or Nesta.” 

Elain turned even more red, pressing her lips together. Amren’s eyes darted between the pair, narrowing. 

“You’ve both been messing around behind Y/n’s back, haven’t you?” Amren had always been too observant. 

“What?” Cassian exclaimed, his face darkening. “That’s not true, Azriel? Right? He wouldn’t do that to his mate. He wouldn’t do that to Y/n.”

Azriel said nothing, shame pouring down on him. But he didn’t have to. Dark talons ripped open his mental shield, sorting through his mind.

“Get the fuck out of my head, Rhysand,” Azriel snarled, baring his teeth. 

Rhysand had seen enough, his face paling as he stared at Azriel with wide eyes. Cassian’s face dropped.

“What did you see, Rhys?” He asked.

“Amren’s right,” Rhys barely choked out. “Azriel… how could you? Y/n is your mate.”

“I’m going to fucking kill you!” Cassian roared, hopping over the dining table to tackle Azriel to the floor. Elain screamed, barely making it out of range as the two males fell to the floor. He only managed to land a punch before Rhysand pulled him away. 

“We can’t do this right now,” Rhysand growled. “We need to find Y/n. She shouldn’t be in Hewn City alone. I’ve been trying to reach her but I can’t sense her.”

“What do you mean you can’t sense her?” Cassian was more panicked now. 

“Are you sure she went to Hewn City today, Azriel? I should be able to reach her from this distance.”

“I’m not sure, I assumed.”

“What the fuck do you mean you’re not sure?” Cassian glared at him, crossing his arms over his broad chest.

Azriel had the good sense to look away, rubbing the back of his neck. “We had a bit of an argument last night. She kicked me out so I was giving her space. When I went back this morning, she was already gone.”

“Why didn’t you go after her? Why were you guys fighting?” Feyre asked. 

“She figured it out, didn’t she?” Amren interjected again. “She found out about you and Elain.”

Cassian let out a curse. “Fuck! Find out where my sister is, Azriel, or I swear to the Gods I will fucking end you.”

“Cassian,” Nesta chastised, placing a hand on his arm to calm him down. But he shrugged her hand off, too angry at the fact that his friend had hurt his sister so badly. 

Azriel didn’t need to be told. He was also panicking now, wondering why you hadn’t told him that he was supposed to go with you today. He would question it later, for now he just wanted to find you. He opened his end of the mating bond back up, feeling guilty that he had kept you closed off all day.

He gasped, folding over, as a wave of your emotions crashed into him. 

Fear. 

You were sending pure fear down the bond. 

“What? What is it?!”

Cassian grabbed Azriel by the upper arms. Azriel ignored him, tugging on the bond, hoping you would respond but nothing. Nothing but fear and pain traveled back to him. His shadows exploded around him, wailing in agony.

“She… She’s in danger,” Azriel gasped. “I need to go. I need to—”

He didn’t say anything else before he disappeared in a swirl of shadows. He stepped out into Hewn City, racing down the streets, trying to follow the mating bond to you. He heard Rhysand winnow in behind him with Cassian but he didn’t pause.

He shouted your name as he ran, pushing faeries out of the way, trampling through stalls. Rhysand and Cassian were right behind him. He ran and ran into the even shadier parts of the city, until it led him to a dark alleyway.

He paused as he scented blood. A small figure was curled up on the floor, in a pool of blood. No one else in sight. He rushed forward, screaming your name in terror as he realized it was you lying in a pool of your own blood.

He skidded to a halt, falling to his knees next to you. He let out a cry and pulled you into his lap. Your wings. Your wings were gone. Your back was covered in deep wounds, your heartbeat so faint he almost couldn’t hear it. He let out a wail, shaking your limp body in his arms.

“No,” he cried. “No no no no no.” 

He patted your cheek. “Wake up, baby. Please, wake up!”

Your eyes remained closed, your body still limp.

He heard Rhysand and Cassian come to a stop behind him, panting. Cassian let out a noise of horror at the sight of his wingless sister, turning around to vomit against the wall. Rhysand cursed, kneeling next to Azriel.

Azriel growled at him, yanking your body closer to his chest.

“Azriel,” Rhysand said, softly. “We need to get her back to Velaris. She needs a healer, now, before she bleeds out.”

Azriel let out a cry, standing up and hoisting you into his arms. Rhysand placed a hand on Azriel and Cassian, winnowing them back to the River House. Azriel brushed past the group waiting in the foyer, ignoring their cries of alarm as he rushed into one of the bedrooms and placed your body on the bed.

He knelt down next to you, grabbing your hand as tears poured down his face. Your breaths were growing thinner, your heartbeat fading. He could feel the mating bond slowly tearing itself apart.

“Don’t do this,” he cried. “Please, Y/n, you can’t do this to me. You can’t die. You don’t get to do this. Not like this. Please.”

Cassian burst into the room, Madja right behind him. The older female let out a long breath at the sight of you on the bed and immediately got to work. Cassian ripped Azriel away from you, tossing him on the ground.

“Please,” Azriel begged Madja. “Please don’t let her die. Please.”

“She’s not going to die,” Madja proclaimed. “Not on my watch. But you all need to get out of my way. Send one of my healers in here to assist me.”

It took both Cassian and Rhysand to drag Azriel out of the room and away from his heavily injured mate. They had barely made it back to the living room when he was suddenly slammed against the wall.

Cassian’s fist met his jaw and he felt blood pool in his mouth. Cassian punched him again and again, crashing to the floor with him as Azriel’s legs gave out. 

“You fucking prick,” Cassian shouted. “You were supposed to be there with her and you let her go alone! You did this! This is your fault!”

Feyre was sobbing in the background, being held back by Rhysand who knew better than to get in between two Illyrian’s fighting. Elain, on the other hand, rushed forward.

“Azriel!”

But Nesta grabbed her before she could get any farther. Her face paled as Cassian growled at her. “I’ll deal with you later.”

Elain let out a noise of distress, looking at Nesta but Nesta just pressed her lips together and looked away, disappointed.

Cassian focused his attention back on Azriel. He pummeled him, shouting and screaming. They were both crying, a mess of blood and tears. 

“You are her mate! You were supposed to protect her! And you failed–You failed her!”

Azriel barely fought back. He let Cassian beat him up knowing he deserved it.

Rhysand finally placed a hand on Cassian’s shoulder. “Enough.”

Cassian paused, still crouched over Azriel. He grabbed the shadowsinger by the collar before slamming his head back on the ground and leaning in close to snarl in his ear.

“I will never forgive you for this. Never.” 

Rhysand grabbed him by the back of his shirt, lifting him off of Azriel. 

“Cassian, your sister needs you right now,” Rhys murmured. “She’s more important.” 

“If I see his face again, I will kill him, Rhys,” Cassian snarled at his High Lord. “I swear to the Gods I will.” 

“I know,” Rhys whispered with his own despair. He knew this was the last time he’d see Azriel and Cassian together. Knew his family was about to be torn apart for the first time in centuries. “I know.”

Cassian spit out blood on Azriel before storming away, back to the room where his sister lay unconscious. Azriel sat up slowly, pushing himself back against the wall and drawing his knees up to his chest. He hung his head between his knees, tears dropping onto the wooden floor.

Rhysand knelt down next to him. “Azriel, what the fuck? Why would you… what have you done?”

“I fucked up, Rhys,” Azriel muttered. “I fucked up.” 

────────────

You woke up days later. You immediately felt the absence of your wings. You groaned, trying to sit up and failing. A glass shattered against the floor and you looked up to see Azriel hovering in the doorway.

“You’re awake. Don’t… don’t try to move,” he breathed out, rushing forward. He knelt down next to the bed, grabbing your hand as tears formed in his eyes. “You’re awake.”

You pulled your hand away from him. He was the last person you wanted to see right now. It hurt just to see his face, his words were constantly replaying in your head along with the image of him and Elain together. The last thing you remembered was trying to call for help down the mating bond and being met with silence. 

“My wings are gone,” you whispered, more to yourself than anything. Your voice was hoarse, raspy from disuse. “My wings…”

“I know. I know and I’m so sorry, Y/n. You have no idea how sorry I am,” Azriel pleaded. “Gods, I am so fucking sorry, baby. For everything. For everything I said to you. For what I’ve done. For closing off the mating bond. For not going with you to Hewn City. I am so sorry.”

You said nothing. Just stared at him. What could you say? He had cheated on you, closed you off, left you alone. You had lost your wings because of him.

“Baby, please, say something.”

“I want Cassian,” you whispered. “I want my brother.” 

“I know, just please,” Azriel cried. “Please, just talk to me. I am so sorry, baby. I am so sorry. I will do anything for your forgiveness. I will do anything to fix this.”

“Cassian,” you murmured again. “I want Cassian!”

“I know, I know,” Azriel said. “Just please tell me what I can do to fix this. I will do anything. I’m sorry for what I said. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done. I regret it so much. I’m sorry I ignored you. I’m sorry I didn’t go with you. I’m so sorry. Please just tell me we can fix this.”

You choked on a sob, turning over so you didn’t have to look at him anymore. 

“I can’t unhear your words, Azriel. I can’t forget how you betrayed me,” you cried. “And I will never be able to forget how I cried for help and you closed me off. There are some things you just can’t unsay or undo. There is no going back from this.” 

“Please,” Azriel’s voice was full of sadness and regret but all you could feel was the pain he had caused you. “That can’t be true.”

“Please, leave,” you whispered, your tears sliding off onto your pillow. “Please.” 

“I can’t, Y/n. I can’t leave you. Not like this. I love you.”

“No, you don’t,” You said, softly. “We both know you don’t. I know who you love and it isn’t me, Azriel. Now please, leave. I’m begging you. There is no going back. There is no future for us after this. Please, just leave.” 

Silence so loud, it felt like the air was screaming. There was no denying your words. Azriel might regret what he did, but it didn’t change the fact that he did it. Those words had come from his mouth. He had made a choice when he decided to fuck Elain behind your back. He didn’t want you as his mate anymore.

Maybe he never did. 

You heard Azriel sigh and stand, his footsteps retreating. The door opening and closing was both your relief and your undoing. 

[pellucid-constellations]

If It All Fell (11)

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: If it all fell apart—if you forgot who you were—would you love him again? Would the bond guide you back? Azriel doesn't know if that uncertainty is one he can bear.

Word count: 5k

Warnings: Angst, pining

a/n: Omg guysss it's been months but here it is!!! I'm so happy and excited to share this chapter ❤️ Things are slowly coming to a close with this story, but don't you fret because there are still some big plans �� The POV bops around a little in the chapter because I just want to capture a lot. Well, enjoy!! Thank you for waiting for me :)

Series Masterlist (all parts ♡)

~~

Nesta Archeron was glaring at you from the other side of the room. The icy stare was a stark contrast to the warm, jubilant nature of those around you, and you found yourself continuously edging into Azriel’s side to avoid the harshness. If the Shadowsinger noticed your growing distress—which you were sure he did—he didn’t make it known. He only allowed you to get closer, subtly shifting his arm to accommodate your movement. 

Feyre was speaking on the other side of you, retelling a light-hearted story about the creation of her art studio. You had been part of the construction and she was more than happy to share that information with you. 

Meeting her had been immeasurably easier than meeting Nesta. 

“I’m so happy you’ve been feeling well enough to do this,” Feyre smiled, her hand on your arm starling you out of your game of avoidance. “I’ve missed seeing you. I know we all have. Elain was furious that she couldn't make it. She got caught up on the outskirts of the continent with Lucien.” 

You took a calming breath in through your nose and shifted your gaze away from the chair Nesta was occupying. “Lucien?” 

Azirel’s low tone rumbled at your shoulder. “Elain’s mate. He has an interesting story. I’ll tell you more about it later.” 

And you trusted that he would. 

Since the night the two of you shared, Azriel had become an open book. He had spent half of that night making you privy to the story you shared—how you met, how the bond snapped, and his subsequent idiocy of keeping it from you while you knew the entire time. That point had sent you into a fit of laughter because obviously you would have known. Your magic revolved around parsing out lies and secrets. 

Coming to terms with that truth also helped you better understand the bond itself. 

Azriel had explained that the cauldron found mates in equals, pairing the souls of those that matched. It had been confusing for you to make a connection between Azriel and yourself. He was an Illyrian with forceful wings and so much power that it needed to be contained in the azure siphons lining his body.

But then, on a particularly quiet night, Azriel had shared his role in Rhysand’s court. His words had been cloaked in reproach as if sharing that piece of him would send you running. You had listened with rapt attention and pieced together the truth of your bond. 

Azriel was the spymaster, and you were the truthteller. 

It also helped—presumably—that Azriel had gotten into the habit of telling you how much he loved you. Regularly.

He never expected anything following his declarations and never even gave you enough time to think of a response, but he said the words so openly. Handing you breakfast, taking a walk along the Sidra, in between stories from your life; Azriel always said I love you as if he didn’t mean to, like he was making up for lost time. 

You hadn’t said it back yet. 

Maybe you’d thought it. 

“There’s also a book club that I know has been eagerly waiting for your return—” 

“So you’ve really lost your memory?” Nesta’s biting tone cut her sister off. You snapped your gaze over to the piercing eyes you’d been avoiding. 

“Um—”

“Rather convenient, how cuddled up you are with the spymaster when the rest of us haven’t even seen you. What progression does that show?” 

“Nes,” Cassian chided from beside her. 

Something heavy made your chest hurt—embarrassment, you parsed out. You leaned away from the warm chest you found comfort in and glanced at Cassian’s exasperated expression as he stared at his mate. 

“What? You all have been hiding her away with your typical ploy of protecting her. Why hasn’t she been training with the Valkyries? Who gets to decide when she’s let out for a walk? I presume Rhysand is one of her handlers? I’d ask him but he refuses to speak to me about it and doesn’t show his face unless absolutely necessary.” 

“That’s enough,” Azriel cut through. You’d put about an inch of space between the two of you and the missing contact was glaringly apparent. 

“Is it? You’re making her weak.” 

“Nesta, we weren’t here the first time this happened. We have no idea what she needs,” Feyre argued, squaring her shoulders towards her sister. 

Nesta only scoffed. “Well, clearly, she needs something else because she still has no memory.” 

“I don’t know what’s going on with you right now, but cool it,” Cassian commanded. 

Sharp features ran over your form, analyzing your every move as the conflict continued. You felt exposed, belittled under Nesta’s gaze, and the fae only sharpened the lines of her eyes the more you squirmed. Azriel closed the space between you again, covering your knee with his hand, and Nesta’s jaw worked at the movement. 

You wanted to say something, maybe defend yourself, but you were afraid to open your mouth and be ridiculed. Everyone had said you were friends with Nesta. They had described her prickly personality but said you had been fast friends. They said she had been asking about you. 

You breathed through your nose and pressed your lips together. 

“She’s gotten memories back, Nesta. We were told it’s a slow process,” Feyre reasoned, attempting to lower the tone of the room as Azriel’s shadows became restless. 

“Right. And they all happen to be memories of the precious Inner Circle. Another agenda I’m sure was purposeful.” 

That was true. You’d gotten back a handful of memories now, all with either Azriel, Cassian, Rhys, or Mor involved, but those were the only people you knew. And they were all distant memories made centuries ago. You had no new context and had started to assume that this process would be chronological. Sort of. 

“We are introducing things slowly,” Azriel all but gritted out, his presence large and looming at your back. “Even the process of getting those few memories hasn’t been pleasant. Based on what we understood we thought it would be better if—” 

“It’s always what you think. She isn’t yours, Azriel,” Nesta fought, gripping the arms of her chair in a punishing hold. 

“Careful, Nesta—” 

“You’re scared.” Your voice was sure but quiet as it silenced the room. You stared at Nesta, brows furrowed, and watched the tells of her fear emanate from her. “Why are you scared?” 

Nesta looked jarred, affronted. She glowered at you. “I am not scared.”

“I can see it. I don’t understand it, but I can see it.” You met her eyes and something looked different about them—something searching. “Is it about me?” 

The room tensed, air becoming still. 

Nesta stood abruptly. You straightened your back and were halfway up to follow her, a confusing urge leading you to comfort the woman who obviously did not like you, when pain took your breath away. You faltered, feet failing as you shot them out to balance your wavering posture. You fell forward instead, the ground a harsh pain against your knees. 

Azriel 

Azriel was so quick to find your side, any vitriol lingering in the room no longer his concern. He pulled you against him and slotted your head in his neck as a whine left your lips. 

“What’s wrong with her?” Nesta asked, harshness tinged with underlying urgency. 

He had known she was scared—everyone knew that—but you voicing it had made it real, and Nesta was not one to put that out in the open. In another life, just a few months difference, you would have confronted her privately. But you didn’t know. 

“She’s remembering,” Azriel muttered, holding you closer as your body became dead weight against his. This part always sent terror shooting through him, but he was getting better at containing it. You needed him to be calm.

“Does she always collapse? You didn’t think to—” 

“Nesta,” Feyre interrupted, placing a gentle hand on her sister’s arm. The High Lady shook her head with a wince. 

Azriel watched the interaction with lidded eyes, his hands pressed to your head and back. He knew you would come to within a few minutes. Sometimes it took longer and you were far more dazed then, but he’d be willing to sit here for as long as you needed. 

“I’ll get the compress,” Cassian declared, kicking up from his chair with a parting hand on Nesta’s shoulder. “Take it easy. It can be difficult when she wakes up.” 

Nesta crossed her arms and shifted her weight between her feet as Azriel repositioned you on the ground. He looked down at your face, the way your eyes moved behind the lids, and then tucked you back into his chest. He reminded himself that this was something good; last time you remembered the first kiss you had had with him. 

A turn of silence overcame the sitting room and Feyre excused herself to check up on Nyx. Nesta stayed, using Cassian’s return as her weak excuse. 

“How long—” 

“She’s okay, Nesta,” Azriel said, voice low. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but she’s okay. You  need to give her time.” 

Nesta’s brow furrowed and she bit the side of her cheek. “You all have made her weak. She doesn’t need to be coddled.” 

“She does. For now. That doesn’t make her weak—to need people.” 

Azriel moved your hair off your forehead as a harsh breath left your nose. You didn’t wake yet. 

“She would hate it—being treated like glass.” 

“I know,” Azriel admitted. “She hates it now. But, as Feyre said, you weren’t there before. This is nothing compared to how we were then.” 

“I haven’t seen her in months.” Nesta’s voice was smaller as she dropped to the ground beside Azriel. “She looked so… timid when she came in. She was never like that.” 

Azriel let out a sigh and held Nesta’s gaze. “I know how this feels, but you can’t… you can’t blame her for this. You can’t punish her, Nesta. She needs you, too.” 

“She hasn’t needed me this entire time, obviously. That was decided rather quickly.” 

Azriel sighed again, but before he could help his sister sort out the myriad of emotions he knew she was feeling, you groaned and the sound rattled against his skin. The Shadowsinger pulled you away from his body but kept his arms holding you up. Your lashes slowly fluttered before you pressed your palm into your eye socket. 

“Gods, ow,” you complained. “I hate that part.” 

Azriel offered you a melancholy laugh and brushed his lips along your forehead—always stolen touches with him. “I’m sorry, my love.” He paused, sending a sidelong glance toward Nesta. The younger fae was frozen in place. “Can I get you anything?” 

“The cold compress, maybe?” 

“Cass is already on it. He’ll be back soon.” Another pause as you gathered your bearings. Azriel rubbed soothing circles into any skin he could reach. “Share now or later?” 

The question was routine now. Some memories were easy for you to share, spouting them off as soon as you woke up like in the case of the first kiss you had learned about three days ago. Others hurt as if you were reliving them in the moment, like when Rhys was taken under the mountain or when you remembered the pain of Day Court. 

So Azriel would wait, and then he would ask. 

And if he needed to hold you as you cried afterward, he would do that, too. 

Your tongue darted out to wet your drying lips and then your expression pinched. You sat up fully to examine the room, still disoriented if Azriel could tell anything by the rapid way your eyes moved, but you were looking for something—or someone, maybe. 

When you looked over your shoulder and found Nesta’s frozen form, recognition shone in your hazy eyes. 

“I remembered you,” you revealed. You twisted from Azriel’s grip to sit on the floor before her. “We were talking. Or, I was talking and you were… angry at me for something. We were in a terribly awful apartment. I think it was yours.” Your brows came together as you searched through the memory. You looked back up. “You were afraid then too.” 

Azriel didn’t have a moment to protest before Nesta had her arms thrown around your shoulders, her grip on your sweater visibly unshakeable. You had to stabilize a hand behind you to keep upright, and even though Azriel knew your head throbbed after getting a memory back, you didn’t make a sound. 

“You’re going to be fine,” Nesta angrily demanded, sounding as if she were placing a curse. “You are stronger than this.” 

A minute ticked by, and then another. Azriel sat idly by as Nesta held you against her and you held her back without as much context, but just as tightly. 

“Well,” Cassian re-entered the sitting room, cold compress held loosely in his hand. “This seems to be going better.” 

~~~

A few days after meeting, and somewhat understanding, Nesta Archeron, you found yourself on a walk with Azriel following the resurfacing of a particularly painful memory. It was something from the war—Azriel was hurt, barely alive, and you were helpless and miles away from him. The memory was mostly just remnants of pain and fear, and it had taken Azriel fifteen minutes to calm you down after. 

But that was fine—it was good. Because for every painful memory came several good ones, and those memories made it worth it. You almost felt lucky to experience many of them for the first time again. 

“Can I ask you something?” you posed, swinging your conjoined hands as they intertwined between you. You loved holding Azriel’s hand—especially after the first time you’d initiated the contact and he blushed so furiously it warmed his skin. 

“Of course you can,” came Azriel’s soft reply. 

The low sounds of Velaris winding down laid the background of the conversation. The occasional merchant sweeping outside their shop would wave to the two of you, and although you still didn’t recognize them all, it didn’t hurt as much to grin and greet them. A few of them reintroduced themselves with warm smiles after hearing of your condition, but others just appeared happy to see you in any context. 

“When I remembered us after we were married,” you began. “Where were we? I’ve been in most of the rooms in the House and I can’t find it.” 

“Ah,” Azriel hummed. His mouth curved up in a beautiful half-smile. “I was wondering when you’d ask about that.” 

“You’ve been keeping something from me!” you accused with a playful gasp. 

“No, no, not keeping it from you, angel. I wanted you to find it on your own.” 

“What do you mean find it on my own? I’ve only recently been able to find my study in the House and I lose my way if I start in certain corners.” 

Azriel chuckled, his eyes squinting at the corners. 

This felt so good—so normal. 

This felt like something that could last. 

“How many times have I taken you on this walk?” he asked, gently guiding you forward on cobblestone. 

“Are you changing the subject?” Azriel shot you a knowing look that had you rolling your eyes. “Fine,” you relented. “Almost every other day.” 

“Why do you think that is?” 

“It’s a nice path. The street isn’t too busy but there’s a lot to look at,” you shrugged. “I thought you just liked it.” 

Azriel brought you to a stop away from the street. “Look a little deeper.” He gestured around with his chin. 

There was nothing out of the ordinary, not at first. He had stopped you in a quieter corner of the street, one you always admired each time you passed it. Soft foliage lined each house you passed, purples and blues and muted yellows obviously cared for among old brick and stone. Gentle water could be heard in the distance, most likely from fountains or small wells meant to provide for families. In the setting sun, the houses were peaceful, serene. 

Something called to you. It was inexplicable, but you found yourself without the urge to inspect why you were being called. Your power was usually unexplainable—at least that’s what it felt like—but this was different. 

You turned to look on at the quaint cottage Azriel had stopped you in front of. 

“Does this place mean something?” you asked, knocking your head to the side as you took in the ivy that trailed up tanned stones. 

Azriel could be felt at your back, the Illyrian bringing his hands up to rest on your shoulders. “Yes. What does your intuition tell you?” 

“I don’t think my magic works like that.” 

“Just give it a shot,” Azriel chuckled by your ear. 

It was when his lips pressed a chaste kiss to your cheek, stealing your breath away, that you hoped for more. That your intuition prompted you to ask for more. 

“Is this… Do we live here?” 

You could feel Azriel’s smile near your skin. You turned to face him, his hands dropping from your shoulders as your expression shifted into pleasant disbelief. Azriel’s smile was twisted into permanent light on his face, and he brushed your hair behind your ears as you stared up at him. 

“We do. Picked it out right after we were married. We didn’t think raising a family in the House of Wind was very feasible long-term.” Azriel jolted, stuttering for a moment. “Not that we need to raise a family! Now, or ever, actually. That was just something we talked about before, but things are different now and just having you—” 

“Azriel,” you smiled, interrupting his rambling by sliding your arms around his shoulder. “Can I ask you something else?” 

Azriel blushed, closing his eyes with a sigh as he nodded in defeat. 

“Will you kiss me?” 

His eyes snapped open, the hazel searching yours with a quickened intensity. “Are you sure?” he asked. His hands were on your waist and you couldn't remember him putting them there. “You don’t have to—” 

“I remember our first kiss,” you countered. Your eyes flickered down to the ring hanging around his neck. That question would be for another time. “Seems only fair that I’d get to experience one in real-time, don’t you think?”

“You don’t want to go in the house? Go see it?” he whispered, but he was leaning down as he spoke the words, his eyes glued to your lips. 

“I think I’ll have time later.” 

When his lips met yours, Azriel exhaled deeply, the hands on your waist pulling you closer with desperation lining his skin. He deepened the kiss in a way that seemed unintentional, intrinsic, and you saw stars behind your lids as he covered your mouth with his and kissed you harder. You had to take a step back to steady yourself and he only followed, his wings coming around your back to press you tighter. 

Something rumbled in the back of Azriel’s throat as your fingers twined through his hair. You only had the faint memory of a kiss, but that one was much different than this. That kiss had been sweet and tentative. This kiss was desperate and needy and you could feel the way Azriel missed you in each of his touches.

And, Gods, did you miss him, too. Differently—a way you couldn’t even understand—but you missed him. 

When you pulled back, you were met with Azriel’s furrowed brow, his eyes flickering between both of yours. He kept you close as you let out a breathy laugh. 

“Do you always kiss me like that?” 

“I should,” he breathed, and then he kissed you and kissed you until your back met the front door of your home. 

~~~

“Things wouldn’t be so bad, you know,” Mor announced, breaking the silence in the room. “If you didn’t get everything back.” 

You glanced up from the diary you’d been poring over, bookmarking the page as you stared up at your friend. “What do you mean?” 

“I just mean if you had gaps, maybe things you never remembered, that would be okay,” Mor continued, rising to sit beside you on the loveseat. 

She had come to visit you in the cottage—your cottage—bringing you one of your diaries they had hidden in the House of Wind. You had eagerly ripped it from her hands and dove into the contents, barely greeting her as you ushered her in and flipped the door shut. 

“Well, the goal is everything,” you explained. You held up the diary and gave it a small shake. “That’s why Az and I asked for these. And there are still people out looking for the witch.” 

Mor kissed her teeth and sighed. “But it would be okay,” she repeated. “If you never got it all back. It would be okay if you were just like this, all the time.” 

“What, is there something you’re hoping I won’t remember? Something embarrassing?” you teased, but Mor didn’t laugh. 

“I’ve been thinking about something you said a little while ago. It’s been bothering me. I talked to Azriel about it too, and I just… I need you to know that we all love you—that I love you—just as you are now. You aren’t a ghost.” 

The smile fell from your lips. You placed the diary down in your lap and turned to face Mor, taking her hands in yours. “Mor, I know that. I didn’t mean—” 

“No, you were right. We were talking as if you weren’t there and that wasn’t fair. None of this is fair, but especially not that. You have to know, y/n, that the way you are, right now, that’s still you. I’m sorry. We’ve all been idiots.” 

You huffed out a small chuckle. “I mean I wasn’t going to say it.”

Some of the light returned to Mor’s eyes, masking the grief that lingered there. “See, there you are.” 

You gripped her hands tighter, yanking her in for a hug. “I forgive you, Mor.” 

She clutched at your shirt and laughed. “Thank the Mother. Because Azriel wouldn’t shut up about keeping you all to himself. I was sick of the gloating.” 

“Azriel? Gloating?” you feigned a gasp, pulling back with a teasing smile. 

“You bring it out of him.” 

Memories came in different waves as time went on. Sometimes they were quick, difficult rememberings. Other times you were out for much longer and would wake up disoriented and confused. But you were never afraid of them. 

At first, the slow nature of their return did make you afraid. You had feared that this process would take too long and everyone would grow tired of waiting. Maybe Azriel would start rolling his eyes when you lost consciousness or Cassian would start to grumble every time you couldn’t connect the dots in one of his stories. The fear was real and it ate away at you for about one week before it was completely diminished. 

Because this conversation you were having with Mor—you’d had it with Azriel too. 

He had pressed his lips along your forehead and told you that it was fine if you couldn't remember everything, he’d just make you fall in love with him again. 

And maybe you were too afraid to tell him that he’d already succeeded at that feat. 

A comfortable silence fell over the room as you and Mor continued your independent tasks, you reading your diary, Mor flipping through a stack of correspondence she had brought along with her. The sounds of scribbling and creased parchment were reminiscent of the first few days after you lost your memory—Mor would bring work into your room and sit beside you as you nursed a headache. Hearing it in this context, in your home, felt like it had a meaning to it. 

Azriel 

It was later in the afternoon when the front door silently opened, Azriel removing his shoes by the door and setting off to find his mate in the cottage. He could hear someone else and mistakenly thought it to be Nesta before he spotted a head of bright-blonde hair beside you in the sitting room. Mor had been the only one in the family who hadn’t visited the cottage yet and relief filled his chest and the sight of her. 

You had started to worry that she didn’t want to see you. Azriel had reassured you several times that Mor just thought you didn’t want to see her after the way everyone acted, but his sweet words had done little to quell your fears. 

Your relationship with Mor had been different since you woke up; she had been the one person you could trust for a while. When he was afraid and messing everything up, Mor held your hand and talked you through his idiocy. 

He was glad some semblance of a reunion in his sitting room. 

“Hi, girls,” Azriel greeted, keeping his voice low to match the calm of the room. He leaned down beside your place on the loveseat, pressing a kiss to your hair. “Should I get a fire going? It’s cold in here.” 

You turned your head to grin up at him, and Azriel had to calm his heart as it skipped several beats. He was trying to be casual about all of this—about you in the seat you had claimed as yours several years ago, sitting beside your best friend and smiling up at him, looking as if you belonged here because you did—but you were making it very difficult with your pretty smile and the pretty way you blinked at him. 

“Hi, Az. Mor’s here,” you offered. 

“I see that, my love.” 

You smiled again, this time directing it towards Mor. “She brought one of my journals. It’s from before I met you all. I don’t have any memories of that time yet. Very informative.” 

“Thought we could go chronologically,” Mor quipped. She leaned up from the couch and stretched her arms. “I’ll let you guys get to it, then. With… whatever mates do.” 

“Will you be back?” 

Azriel’s heart hurt a little at the question, and he could tell by the softness in Mor’s gaze that she felt the same. 

“Of course. Just not when you and Nesta are having your book club. Made that mistake a few too many times,” she teased, sending parting words out the entryway. 

As soon as Mor had vacated the seat beside you, Azriel was occupying the space, rounding his arm over your shoulders and smashing you into his chest as he pressed kisses to your skin. You laughed and attempted to push him away, the journal now lost in a cushion, but Azriel was unrelenting. 

“I missed you,” he proclaimed. 

“I saw you this morning,” you giggled back, finally giving up and allowing the onslaught of affection. 

“Doesn’t matter. I spent weeks not touching you. You just started letting me kiss you.”

“We’ve been kissing for a few weeks now.” Azriel only hummed at your words and moved his hands to cup your face as he kissed your cheeks. “Gods, we sound like children.” 

“I love you.” 

Main POV

You opened your mouth to reply, but Azriel had already silenced you with his lips. You were breathless when he pulled away, all thoughts emptying from your brain. 

“How was your day?” he asked, removing himself from the tight grip he’d captured you in. But he still kept you glued to his side. 

You took a breath in and blinked. “Um, it was good. Mor came.” 

“You mentioned,” Azriel teased. “Any memories you want to talk about over dinner?” 

“None today. It’s been slow over the past few days, I’ve noticed.” 

Azriel brushed hair from your forehead. “That’s okay. They’ll come with time.” He paused. “Or they won’t.” 

The reminder of Azriel’s promise to you sat behind his words. It echoed Mor’s conversation earlier and you fought the reassurance and dread that battled within you. 

Because he was right. They might come, or they might not. 

Your family would love you either way. 

But, would you have to live with this feeling of… incompleteness forever as well? 

Would that fade with time? 

You offered a soft smile and leaned up to kiss the corner of Azriel’s mouth. “The things in the journal Mor gave me,” you began. “Usually, when one of you tells me about something from the past I feel a connection to it. Or I get a memory back. But I’ve been poring over this book—” you fished it out from the cushions. “—and, nothing. It’s like I’m reading a story and not my own words.” 

Azriel furrowed his brow. “That must be difficult to comprehend.” 

“It is,” you nodded. “And, that’s fine—I guess. Because none of you can really reinforce memories when you weren’t there. I just feel strange about it.” 

“Can I do anything to help?” 

You bit your lip as Azriel stared back at you with concern laced in his features. He was already doing everything he could to help, already pushing aside so much so you could find comfort in this confusing life you’d been dropped into. 

You watched the way he held himself back, the way he always kept himself close to Velaris and refused necessary missions to keep you near. You looked on without the means to help him as he stressed over the memories you’d receive. He spent countless hours retelling your story and holding you through difficult bouts of unconsciousness and taking it so, painfully slow with you. 

Maybe, if you really thought about it, this hole within you wasn’t that big of a deal. 

“Could you get that fire started?” 

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Four to Tango (poly!Mates Bat Boys)

Pairing(s): Rhysand x Reader, Cassian x Reader, Azriel x Reader

Warnings: foursome, smut, just a reason to create smut where three gorgeous fucking men rearrange your organs, cunnilingus, fingering, p in v, never ending orgasms lol, overstimulation, all three of them are utter teases, polyamorous mates, no jealousy, rhys loves to watch his brothers fuck you stupid, my emotional support bat boys, i desperately need them rn, foursomes are hard to write ngl 🫠

Words: 5836

Summary: Three of them at the same time? You may not make it out alive.

Life before your three mates had never consisted with as much sex as it does now. In fact you were a virgin when you met the Illyrian trio. Not for lack of trying to get into a relationship. There were other concerns for you to attend to that distracted you from finding a partner.

Then Azriel literally fell into your lap. Followed by Cassian descending from the sky while laughing at the other who was blushing furiously and trying to scramble off of you with a string of apologies. Rhysand, with a flap of his wings touches down to the ground with an entertained grin. Until his violet eyes noticed you. Really noticed you. Almost reading into your soul.

Had it really been only four months since then?

Thinking about it had you blushing into your pillow. Four months of mind shattering orgasms and lavished with never ending affection. You must have really been good in your past life to receive these three as a reward.

Rhys shifts beside you. Voice husky from sleep but practically purring when he wraps his arms around you. "Seems like its been longer than four months, huh?"

His palms flatten against your midsection. Warmth immediately spreading across the plane of your skin. You wiggle closer to him and in reply, Rhys buries his face in the juncture of your neck. His lips pepper small kisses along the soft skin of your jugular.

He took turns with Cassian and Azriel as to who spent the night with you. It was only fair. You told them that you cared for them all equally and it didn't matter to you. You'd accept whatever they could agree upon without there being any jealousy.

Rotating was tricky in the beginning. Giving them each the same amount of attention to prevent feelings of being left out. And maybe you were starting to get greedy with their love because you couldn't help but feel incomplete without the other two when you were in one's bed.

Your inner musing catches Rhysand's attention; seemingly waking him up. The arm laying on top of you is removed when he sits up. Did you unintentionally offend him with your thoughts?

"Would you be interested in all three of us here?" He questions.

You turn to address the high lord of the Night Court. Beautifully and sinfully sexy the way he leans on his elbow to gaze at you. Tousled black hair shifting across his brow. What an alluring sigh the made. Tattoos and scars marking the smooth surface of his tan skin.

"All three of you in this bed?" It had been done before when you wanted to cuddle with all three of your mates. Rhys' bed nearly broke, not large enough to support two extra heavy frames.

"More than that." Rhysand's thumb brushes a stray hair out of your face. The depth of his tone had a warmth shooting down to your core. Thighs press together, you melt under his attention. "All three of us feasting upon you. At the same time." A growling undertone hits your ears. Your breathing becomes shallow as he holds your gaze.

You gulp, mind already racing when you whimper out "A-All of you?"

Rhys reads each and every one of your dirty thoughts, his lips curling sinisterly. "Can I take that as a 'yes', love?"

A furious blush overheats your cheeks and the tips of your ears. "I-I. . . How would that even work out?"

He leans in and nips at your already burning shell of your ear "You leave that to us."

Ever loving to tease you, he leaves with that promise hanging in the air. Claiming he had work to do but that he'd see you for lunch. For a while you lay in bed, thinking of the dark glint in your mate's eyes.

Surely, all three of them would be way too much for you to handle. Each of them were terrifyingly well-endowed. Especially Azriel. It took several tries to get more than the head of his cock inside of you. In the end he had to ease it in slowly over several dates until you could fully sheath him.

It became your hyperfixation throughout the day. As you went about the House of Wind to when you were out in the town market.

When you bump into Mor back at the townhouse, she manages to make you squeal on what Rhys had brought up earlier that morning.

Mor lets out a low, impressed whistle. "You have got to be the luckiest female in all of Prythian. What are you sweating about?"

"I can barely handle one of them at a time, Mor. I fear they'll kill me. Death by cock. I don't want that on my tombstone."

"Death by cock doesn't sound too bad." she hums but it turns into a snort when she catches your distressed expression. "Quit fretting. They'll take good care of you."

Chewing on your bottom lilp you knew you probably came off as silly to her.

Mor's hand caresses your upper arm. In a short amount of time, Mor had become the big sister you never knew you needed. She became your confidant and would keep all of your secrets; take them to the grave if required. "They're dumb males but they love you. Never in a million years would they ever dream of doing anything to hurt you."

That was clear to you since day one. The Cauldron destined all three of them to be your mates for a reason.

And it could be fun.

Who were you kidding, you knew it would be fun. Having sex with them individually always reduced your bones to pure pudding. They were overly generous lovers. Always making sure you climaxed first. Treating you not like a queen but a divine entity to be worshipped. Their faces, your thrones.

Talking with Mor did you good. You felt absurd at your previous concern. This would be the experience of a lifetime. Getting to love all three of your mates at once had you giddy.

After Mor leaves, you're constantly checking the clock. Almost lunch time. That meant your boys would be home at any minute. Your heart felt like a energetic bird in a cage, banging against its bars in desperation to get out.

You debate going upstairs and changing your underwear to something sexier when you stand to head toward the stairs, that's when the front door opens. Poking your head out from around the corner, you confirm it to be your boys. You were still getting used to the feeling of the mental connection that connected you to your three mates. Cassian and Az are in the middle of a conversation behind Rhysand when the trio walks in. Rhys grins at you before grabbing the attention of the Illyrians who stop their chatter.

Never one to be subtle, Cassian struts past them and pulls you out into the entry hallway. He swoops down to capture your lips with his, picking you off your feet unintentionally. His kisses always took all the air out of you, making your head delightfully light and floating. Cassian's eyes hold specks of glittering gold when he returns you to the ground.

"Welcome home." you breathily greet him. You swear Cassian puffs his chest out like a proud parrot every time he can get your vision to go starry with his kisses.

"You should've moved in a long time ago. I like coming home to you." Cassian's voice is smooth, deep as if purring.

Rhysand chuckles at your swooning thoughts toward the general. "Easy Cass. Get her any more riled up and we may not make it to the bedroom in time."

The cool caress of Azriel's shadows slithering up your legs accelerates the 'lub dub' of your chest.

"Aw, am I exciting you princess?" The general gets an immediate reaction when he picks up the scent of your arousal dripping from between your legs. Dark delight curls Cassian's lips.

Rhysand and Azriel appear to smell you as well. Hunger straightens their backs and their pupils blowing out. Azriel's serpentine shadows squeeze the fat of your upper thigh, another prods curiously at your clothed pussy, asking for permission inside. "Now sweetling, you wouldn't want anyone to come upon us and ruin our fun. Be a good girl and head up those stairs."

"You heard him." Rhysand reinforces Azriel's command when you hesitate, your face beet red. His chin tilts up, gesturing to the staircase on your right.

They looked like three wolves before they pounce on the poor unsuspecting lamb. You go up the stairs on wobbly legs. Every inch of you tingled with anticipation feeling the heat of the boys at your back. They're basically panting behind you, forced to watch the sway of your hips and ass as you go up one step and then another. Its a race to the bedroom door. You're the one to twist the knob, but its the flat of three palms against the door's smooth frame that shove it wide open. Cassian scoops you up, the ground slipping out from under you.

Cassian twirls you around before settling you down on the mattress like the treasure you were. If he possessed a tail, you bet all the riches in Prythian that it would be wagging fast. His lips are placing kisses all along your exposed legs, having flipped your dress skirts up. You uncontrollably giggle when he reaches the upper insides of your thighs, so close to your core.

You catch Rhysand's dark chuckle, the door closing shut follows after.

"Impatient as ever, Cass." Azriel comments and moves to one side of Rhys' bed while Rhysand stalks toward the other.

Hovering over you with his hair tickling your face, Cassian smirks and gifts you one last kiss before allowing you to sit up. With your three mates in front of you, you couldn't help feeling a little shy. Individually, you'd become sexually confident with them. But to have three pairs of lustful eyes all focused in on you. . .

You fidget and squirm, feeling the space between your legs flutter. "S-So. . . how is this going to work?"

"Nervous?" Rhysand reaches his hand out to gently stroke a lock of your hair.

"A little. I mean, to have the Night Court's high lord, general and spymaster all together is a bit intimidating. But I trust all of you." You grip Rhys' hand and move it towards your lips to kiss his knuckles; swearing that you hear him sharply inhale as you do so. You spoke the truth when you said you trusted them. They had you feeling confident and bold with the lavish amounts of love that they bestowed you with each day. How they made you feel like you could take on the very world itself as long as they were by your side.

Letting go of Rhysand's hand, you start to undress; overtly cognizant of their heated stares. Fully naked, you decide that Azriel's been so patient in waiting for attention. He grins when you crawl onto his lap and cup his jaw to pull him into a fervant kiss. His wings twitch and the shadows that perpetually clung to him push you closer against his form. In the background, you hear Rhysand and Cassian shuffle around. You wonder if they'd talked about this often.

"Oh, we have." Rhysand grins. "Many times. Sweetling, you have no idea the of the plans we've devised."

Azriel bites your lip in the moment making you gasp. Those powerful hands of his grip your ass tightly, forcefully moving you in a grinding motion against his hardening cock. Not caring that a smear of your arousal shined on the fabric of his pants.

"All the ways we can absolutely devour you."

Behind you, sharp teeth graze your shoulder making you squirm even more on Azriel's lap.

"The delicious thing that you are, it was necessary to. . . coordinate our moves." They move from your shoulder to your neck.

Your moans are unrestricted, they simply go directly into Az's mouth. He greedily feasts on them, tendrils of shadows softly gliding down your calf and to your ankles.

Now, Az.

You're not spared even a second before you're flipped around. Azriel takes hold of your wrists, splaying you out in front of Rhysand and Cassian. Their tattoos free from the confines of their shirts. And of course their well endowed shafts were already hard.

Rhysand is on his stomache, creeping closer to your pussy lips to brush his mouth against it before nuzzling with the tip of his nose at that little bundle of nerves that had the muscles in your thighs twitching. Teasing at first until his tongue lazily toys with it.

Azriel has you completely restrained. Nowhere for you to run or hide.

Fingers rub along your labia that was coated in your slick. Rhysand uses his fingers to gently pull your lower lips apart.

Your hazy gaze falls on Cassian who is gently stroking himself. He sends you a wolfish grin when he catches you. "Feel good, princess?"

All you can give out in response is a kiltered mewl. Rhysand was making his circles larger and larger around your clit. The tip of his finger starts to tickle at your entrance.

"A-Aahh-" Head lolling back, it falls against Azriel's shoulder. He's kissing the length of your neck, definitely leaving love bites.

Inch by inch, Rhysand inserts his index finger in you and ever so gently begins to curl his finger from inside of you. It's featherlight but enough to send an electric jolt through you and up your throat. Between your legs, Rhysand is constantly changing his speed and pressure. You squirm when Rhysand easily slips another finger inside of you and picks up his tongue speed on your clit.

You're trying your best to gyrate your hips to a near grind against Rhysand's face but Azriel's pesky shadows simply wouldn't allow it.

"Please!" You moan with another pathetic thrust of your hips.

Rhysand's lips smirk against your pussy.

"What do you say, general? Should the high lord let our well mannered lady come?" croons Azriel as he nips at the soft spots on your neck.

The tip of Cassian's cock is blushing with the most perfect bead of precum like a pearl. His lips curl in a smile when he catches your pretty eyes staring at him. He makes a show and swoops his thumb over the tip of his cock, dilated pupils observing how your mouth unconsciously opens with want to take in Cassian's member. And he would love to shove his cock down your throat, but that would have to be another time.

Instead, Cassian chooses to cock his head in scrutiny. "Too soon, don't you think?"

You desperately shake your head in disagreement but behind you Azriel laughs. "You're a cruel bastard aren't you?"

Shrugging indifferently before turning a wicked smirk your way, Rhysand returns to teasingly feasting on you as you squirm to shove your pussy closer to his mouth. He reduced his tongue strocks to pathetic kitten licks that had you wanting more.

Replacing Azriel's hands was the cool grip of his shadows as his hands now grip your tits. Scarred finger pads toy with your nipple until both are erect. Between your legs Rhys continues running the flat of his tongue up and down, dealing little rolls of the tip of his tongue against your clit occasionally. Just enough to keep you on the edge.

You're a whimpering, moaning mess. Half lidded eyes are barely able to make out the now fuzzy image of Cassian as he strolls to your other side. He puts one knee on the bed and leaning on his hands for support, he bites at your free tit that isn't being tortured by Azriel's loving pinches. His mouth latches on instantly.

Focus all over the place, you're lost in your own heady bliss and while you were denied your orgasm, your whole body was trembling from your mates' individual actions.

When Rhysand sits up, you nearly scream in frustration and pull at your shadowy restraints. "No!!"

They laugh at you and the bucking of your hips against empty air. You find yourself being manhandled once again, your tummy pressed against the mattress with your ass high in the air. Instead of Azriel's cock springing in front of your face its' Cass'.

Not needing any instructions, you take him into your mouth. You feel Cassian twitch against your tongue.

"See what a good girl she is, Cass? Come on. She deserves to come." the High Lord runs his hand along your flank, giving the globes of your ass a small squeeze. "Accidentally" slipping his thumb past your pussy lips.

Just to show Cassian what a good girl you were, you swallow more of his girth down your throat and hum. The vibrations that jolt up his cock has Cassian jerking his hips with a groan and threading his fingers into your hair. Rolling his head back, Cassian feels the walls of your throat tighten.

Through the warming of his face, Cassian trains his eyes back on your face.

"I think to sweeten the general up, perhaps our good girl should make the general come." You barely hear Azriel's smooth voice over the pounding of blood vessels in your ears. The entirety of the bottom of your face is covered in your own saliva and Cassian's precum. Your breathing was labored as you even struggled to inhale through your nose. Determination burning you up from the inside as you enjoy Cassian's cacophony of moans. Fueling the inferno in your core that has you wantonly feverish.

Obscenities made up of wet gagging noises coming from you and Cassian's own erratic growls fill Rhysand's master bedroom.

If anyone were to walk by outside-

"Don't think of that." Lightly scolds Rhysand. "There is no world except for the one in this room." His tongue licks from your clit to your perineum making you shiver and moan with your mouth full of Cassian.

There's a tug from Cassian's hand in your hair, pulling you back to the present matter at hand. He grinds his hips against your face. You're more than happy to forget about any sense of decorum or shame.

Your thoughts please Rhysand as he practically purrs against your pussy before he starts a full on make-out session with your lower lips. Your pitiable moans that send pleasurable quivers through Cassian's cock was enough to have his grip tighten in warning before shoving you off. Immediately follows the ribbon of cum shooting from his tip

"F-Fff-Fucking good girl" Cass' tone sounds like a curse but his red cheeks and heaving chest told you plenty. In a appreciative gesture, you run your fingers through the tantalizing streak of his happy trail, skating over the ridge of his cum gutters and up the mountain of abs.

It's all you can do as Rhysand spears that exquisite tongue of into your pussy while also stimulating your clit.

Alright, the general has spoken, sweetling. I'll give you a big reward.

Rhysand makes sure to keep his hands attentive to your messy, wet pussy when he pulls his face away. From the mess you left on his hands, Rhys uses it to coat his cock and and gently taps the tip against your entrance.

All the while Cassian brushes a few strands of hair out of your face before cupping it in his massive, callused hands. He always held you like you were a fragile egg. Intently watching every twitch of your face as Rhysand slowly pushes the blunt end of his cock into you. Inch by inch, he sheathes his member; like a sword with its scabbard. Your mouth parts, forming a soft 'o' shape as you feel your gummy walls accommodate his girth. For even Rhysand its a snug fit but being patient rewards him. Strong hands keep your hips in place.

Need to make sure I stretch you out a little before you take Az.

You're surprised you have a bit of your whits with you as you numbly think Where is Az?

"I'm right here, princess." Azriel sits on the bed once again, this time matching everyone else's nudity.

Again you're taken aback by how truly lucky you are when you gaze at Azriel and Cassian with half-lidded eyes. Cassian was already at half-mast in a matter of seconds thanks to the way your tits bounced when Rhysand fluidly slid his cock in and out. The powerful lines that composed their physique. Each muscle a testament to the trials and tribulations they have survived through. Your mates.

"Yes." He picks up his pace while swiping his thumb over your clit. "We're all your's sweetling." Heat radiating off of Rhysand makes your back start to sweat. Especially when he leans his forehead to press against your shoulder as he nearly folds over you, his thrusts becoming more animalistic as he neared the pinnacle of his own pleasure.

It's ridiculous how hard Rhysand can make you come. Overwhelming that your own small body could hardly contain it in your physical vessel. You can't help the tears that warm the backs of your eyes as you feel a thousand stars burst from inside of you. Stardust blurs your vision as your pussy walls clamp down on Rhysand mercilessly in your orgasm.

You're grateful that Rhysand solely is keeping you up. Your own body fails you as muscles spasm and every bare inch of you grows overly sensitive to Rhys' tightening grip.

Searing heat fills your core. The only sign that Rhysand has reached his climax as well besides the vicious bites he leaves all over your shoulders.

Your boys laugh when you face plant into the mattress, a heaving mess already and Cassian nor Azriel have had their fun yet. You will your arms to lift you up.

Red faced Rhysand takes pity on you and wraps one arm around your midsection to help you at least sit up enough to focus on the other two males whose chest are heaving just as much as yours'. Azriel's pupils have swelled till they took over his natural eye color. They'd look terrifying if it weren't for their raging cocks.

Well. . . the sight of those impressive members were slightly terrifying but also thrilling. Surprised when you felt your sticky pussy clench with need. Spoiled your cunt had become. Utterly spoiled by your three indulgent mates.

Cauldron grant you strength.

"Az and Cass will take care of you while I get you some water." Rhysand breathily tells you as he attempts to catch his own breath. You pout slightly when he moves to leave. He kisses your lips to placate the pout. "I'll be back. You'll be good. Won't you?"

"Always." You beam up at him. It has Rhysand melting, debating on staying and sending for one of the wraiths to fetch you water, but he knew you loathe the idea of anyone hearing your moans besides your mates.

With another promise of being prompt, Rhysand takes a second to at least put some pants on before leaving the room.

That's when Cassian unexpectedly pounces on you, pushing you back down against the mattress as you squeal your surprise. His lips are all over you, nips and kisses alike.

"Remember, we have to wait for Rhys." Azriel pipes up much to Cassian's chagrin as he shoots the spymaster a tampered down glare. While he's not too bothered with waiting, that doesn't mean he wasn't going to play around with you a little bit.

"Yeah yeah I know." Cass grins, his face leans down to hover over your tits before he takes on in his mouth. His teeth gently tug at your nipple making you warble. He hollows out his cheeks to give it a good suckle. "You'd probably do with a good tit sucking, Az." Comments Cassian once he removes his lips with a loud 'pop' noise.

"Then quit hogging them." Grins Azriel and pushes his brother's face away from your chest. Actually he nearly shoves Cassian off of you in his haste to latch his lips around your pert and abused bud. Imprints of Cassian's front teeth could be made out on the delicate skin of your breasts. Cassian doesn't put up a fight and watches Azriel swiftly clamber atop of you.

His giant wings block out the rest of the room, encasing you so that you could only focus on the spymaster.

He slithers down onto his tummy, his face making a slow ascent to your tits. Biting at the undersides, soft and tender and already baring red marks from Cassian's previous nibbling. Azriel's palm goes to cup at your heated pussy, still slick from your orgasm and leaking even more now with their touches.

You grind against his bare hand, absolutely drooling at the deep growl that rolls through him when you do so. Feel your lower lips spread against his palm, Azriel lets out another debauched groan that was now being muffled thanks to your nipple in his mouth.

Wrapping your arms around Azriel's head, you pull him closer to your chest and weave your fingers into his dark hair. In response his suckling becomes louder, the sensation shooting a thrill to your pussy. You coo praises with your head thrown back and your legs wrapping around Azriel's waist.

"Uh-uh sweetheart." Azriel lifts his face when he feels you trying to wiggle onto his cock. "Cassian has to stretch you out next."

"I've taken you before though. I can do it without any prep." Complaining, you're basically whimpering when Azriel peels himself completely off of you. You want to bite your tongue off for even saying anything.

"Looks like she's about to have a tantrum." Teases Rhysand when he opens the bedroom door to slink back in, but it was true. Azriel had worked you back up and now you were in need of another cock inside of you.

At least he's able to stop your pouting when you hands you water. You didn't realize how parched you were until the first splash of cold water hits your tongue. Guzzling it down, you're not paying attention to your bat boys having a silent conversation. One that you were not allowed in on.

Rhysand winks. Distracting you from Cassian sneaking up and lifting you high up onto his shoulders, smashing his face right into your pussy. Your fingers claw at his shoulders for stability as you feel yourself teeter to and fro.

"Cass!" Squealing, you can't enjoy his tongue fucking into you since you're doing your best to not fall.

Doesn't help when you can feel the vibrations of Cassian's low chuckle.

Its hard to forget just how powerful your mates are. Reminded consistently by their massive muscles. Cassian's hands never quivered in holding you up above his face.

You shiver and go slack jawed.

There you go.

Shadows help you to steady yourself on Cassian's hands, giving him your absolute trust.

When he's satisfied with how wet you are, Cassian slowly moves you down onto his lap. Each inch of him you took in, you let out sweet little cries. Lewd squelches emit from your singing pussy, Azriel and Rhysand watch with rapt attention at the general's cock splitting you open.

Your high lord nudges at his spymaster.

Azriel obeys and right in the middle of a cry provoked by a particularly hard thrust on Cassian's end, Azriel shoves his cock into your wide open mouth. The back of your throat is punched by the tip of Azriel's cock, enticing your gag reflex to choke you. Corners of your mouth ache when your lips have to widen even more in order to take Azriel's fat dick. Your eyes burn with dewey tears and a silver string of saliva dribbles down your chin.

Cassian continues to fuck you harder and your muffled cries has Azriel's spine tingling and his cock twitching in your mouth as his hips continue to thrust in and out.

Even with Cassian supporting all of your weight, you find your thighs trembling and hips quaking every smack of Cassian's pelvis meeting your ass.

Surprisingly, Azriel's own rhythm matched that of Cassian's. They really did plan this out. Impressive.

"We had to plan things out. You could get hurt otherwise." Rhysand replies. He couldn't explain the immense arousal it gave him to watch his brothers spitroast you. To watch the veins in your throat bulge and your red face streaked as pleasure induced tears slip down your cheeks. Quite the sight to behold and the most beautiful image in the world to Rhys.

The same time your head was bobbing, so was your ass as Cassian lets out possessive growls that outwardly had him appearing vicious. Cass' grip on your thighs told him otherwise, it was one of assured strength that he would not let you fall.

He knew you always thought yourself to be the lucky one in the relationship. Lucky to brag of your three strong mates that could rule all of Prythian's courts if they developed the taste for it.

In all honesty, they were the ones who felt like the luckiest bastards.

A mate wasn't something they ever thought would be bestowed to them. Blood trailed behind them. Brutal childhood years that physically and mentally scarred them for life.

You were their reward for all those horrible years.

And he couldn't imagine sharing you with anyone else but his lifelong friends that were basically brothers to him.

You're slapped across the face as another climax seizes control of your limbs. Spasming against Cassian's face that was now utterly demolished by your slick that gave his lips a shiny glaze.

You don't give Azriel an opportunity to pull his member out of your mouth before he too is creaming against your tongue. Thick, long ropes that coats your esophagus.

Abruptly, Azriel rips his cock out of your mouth as Cassian flips you onto your back and with one hand, holds your knee ditch in place and truly pounds into your pussy that had your tits bouncing uncontrollably from the velocity. He's smacking your wet, overly sensitive clit using the flat of his fingers. You shriek, feeling your back swallowed up by the mattress below you. Cassian could crush all of your bones and you wouldn't give a flying fuck in that minute.

With one last, devastating thrust, Cassian spills his warmth into you.

Giving yourselves extra time to come down from yet another post-coital high, Cassian slips out from you and gently places your legs back down. He pats your flank like you're a brood mare. "Atta girl."

Unable to conjure the energy to laugh, instead you wheeze out a scoff and half-heartedly swat at his arm.

He casts Rhysand and Azriel a teasing grin. "She's ready."

Azriel, your usually sweet and gentle Azriel suddenly has a predatory glint in his eyes. "Spread her."

Working together, Rhysand and Cassian grab hold of one leg each; parting them so Azriel can lewdly examine his prey.

"Look at this." Azriel hums and swipes his finger along the slit of your pussy, collecting a bit of Cassian's cum on his index finger. "Already stuffed. I wonder if my cock can even fit in there with both Rhys' and Cass' cum."

Despite your heated blush that made you dizzy, your lips quirk up. "The only way to find out is to try."

With all of the mixed liquids coating your cunt, it was pretty easy for Azriel to slide half of his cock into you. The rest he eased in with a few rocks of his hips. A growl that comes from the pit of his stomach is ripped out of Azriel, his wings flaring out when he takes you. His brothers continue to possess a secure hold on your thighs as their eyes focus in on the contorting features of your face.

The pressure of his cock is enough to pin you down. Overwhelming even but you'd taken his shaft before and you were determined to do it again.

In order to do so, you will your body into complete, ragdoll obedience that relaxes your entire body; even the death grip the walls of your cunt had on Azriel. It garnered him more wiggle room to start bullying his cock further into you.

Rhys actually breathes out a soft laugh "Wow. . . is that what being 'cock drunk' looks like?"

Cassian groans and using his free hand begins to fist his dick. "Cock drunk on Az's cock, princess?"

Unable to laugh, instead Az's lips twitched into a grin; one of his hands roam to stroke your cheek. You're thoughtlessly nodding along to whatever Cassian was saying. All you understood were the two words "Az's" and "cock".

For a second, you really do fear that Azriel will split you in half when his length pushes past the sensitive roof of your pussy and rams its head against your cervix.

Each love tap had your toes curling inward and your eyes rolling back.

Another?

Greedy girl. Do you even know how many times you've come?

You squeal, hips meeting Azriel's in perfect synchronicity. They can taunt you all they wanted. As much as they made you cock drunk, the three of them were completely pussy whipped.

In retaliation Rhysand gives your nipple a harsh tug. "You'll pay for that later, sweetling."

Exhausted was an understatement.

All four of you lay in a disgusting heap of limbs and collective sweat. Half of Cassian's body hung off the edge of the bed. He didn't mind. At least he was able to cool off even his foot was basically touching the ground and put a few inches between himself and Azriel. You lay between the spymaster and the high lord. Waters were retrieved after the fun was officially over.

Now you lay with your mates sated and unspeakably happy.

Your inner musings have Rhysand smiling. He turns your face toward him using but his fingers on your chin. "We live to make you happy." Rhysand languidly kisses you, enjoying the flavor upon your lips. A combination of everyone's juices. They would help you get to the bath. Eventually.

"I'm taking it the princess was satisfied?" Cheekily grinned Cassian.

You laugh though it costs your body to wince in slight discomfort. "Yes. If you didn't notice, I quite enjoyed myself."

Azriel nuzzles his nose along the length of your neck. Mentally you make a note that you'd have to visit the dressmaker so that they could alter your gowns to make them cover your neck and chest. Without context, many would assume the red marks all over your body was a sign of disease. Showing up to a professional meeting with hickeys all over your body wouldn't bode well either.

"Lets try double penetration next time!" Chimes Cassian.

Mother be good, these boys were certainly going to be the death of you.

@enchantingcupcakecollectionfan @a-courtof-azriel

[utterlyotterlyx]

18 with Azriel because mans is taaaaall

Little Thing

Summary - Azriel loves finding any reason to hold you, his height restricted mate, in his arms, and isn't ashamed to admit it.

Warnings - absolutely none really, slight swearing, just Az fluff x 1000

"I've been breaking my back to kiss you."

"I'm not that fucking short."

The weight that occasionally pressed against the tips of his toes had become something he found endearing, because it meant that you were trying with all of your might to kiss him by using his feet as leverage to boost your own height.

Azriel was abnormally tall, his six foot seven to your five foot three was the source of copious amounts of teasing from your shared family, mostly from Cassian who always questioned aloud how Azriel fit inside of you, like it was all he thought about whenever he looked at the two of you.

"Would you like to watch since you're so intrigued about our sex life, Cass?"

"I, uh-," Cassian had stuttered that chill afternoon, the stars had blanketed across the sky, and you were stood in the centre of the lounge in your floor length skirt which only reached Azriel's knees, (he'd tried it on one day much to your delight); you were tapping your foot against the wooden floor, eyebrow arched and waiting for a real answer, "No."

Azriel had to give it to Cassian, and Rhys, and well anyone who questioned how Azriel, the brother with the largest wingspan, managed to fit inside of you. Cassian said often that his cock must rearrange your insides and he was surprised how you could walk around after your nights, mornings, and afternoons together, let alone go to work and live a normal life.

"Thought not. Shame, you could have learnt a thing or two for Nesta," Azriel chortled at your words and sent a wave of pride and adoration down the bond, a shower of affection that you lapped up.

"Ouch, y/n. That stung," Cassian fluttered his fingers over his heart and winced dramatically.

"Bite me," you flipped him off and headed back into the kitchen where the most incredible aromas floated from.

Once a month, you promised to cook a family dinner for them all, having negotiated your family away from the once a week they had begged for. It was as though they believed that you didn't have a life. The most decadent bakery in Velaris had your name plastered on the front of it in pale blue swirls, that was how you had met Azriel, after Feyre had dragged him into the store owned by the tiny fae female who made the best pastries she had ever tasted in her life.

The bond had snapped immediately for him when he saw you in your black apron dusted with flour, pink icing and white buttercream on your cheeks, hair strewn up but spilling over your forehead, boxing up a larger than you three tier cake without breaking a sweat.

The pastries you had made for him once you had decided to accept the bond, and the life that came with it, were almost as good as the passionate love he gave you that night.

Azriel loved everything about you, from the larger than life ferocity and sass you carried in your tiny body, to your equally ferocious loving heart; you were independent, talented, sweet, and kind, a ray of sunshine in his otherwise shadowed reality.

Though, there were two things that Azriel loved more than anything. The first was being able to find any excuse to lift you up in his hands, whether that be to help you reach the top shelf or fuck you against a wall; he wouldn't admit it easily, but he did purposefully hide things out of reach from you so that he had a reason to hold you in his large hands. The second thing he adored was how you would stand on his feet, on your tiptoes, to capture his lips on yours. It was such a sickly sweet part of you, but one that he wouldn't change for anything.

Hearing you strain, Azriel furrowed his brow, imagining you struggling to reach the second shelf of the cupboard in a home where furniture had been made for three huge Illyrians, not a tiny fae baker. Rounding the corner, he smirked at your form, he smirked at the way your skirt was hitched around your thighs as you clambered onto a nearby chair to hop onto the countertop.

Azriel sauntered over to you, laying his large hands on your hips and pressing his lips to the small of your back, grinning against your skin when you shuddered at the contact, "Need any help?" Azriel had moved the stool away from the edge of the counter, placing himself where it used to be.

Turning in his hands, you looked down on him with a wide smile, "No, I got it," you presented the bag of sugar to him and he took it from your fingers, placing it down for you, "Is this what it's like to be you? I can see so much up here."

Azriel chuckled, resting his chin on your stomach and peering up at you through his long lashes that always made you curse his Illyrian genes, "I guess so," he shrugged, locking his arms around your hips, enjoying the moment you had taken to run your fingernails over his scalp which drew a whine from his lips.

Taking his face in your hands, you leaned down and placed your lips to his, a tender embrace, one full of love and the faint taste of your vanilla lip balm that gave your lips the most incredible glossy finish, "How does it feel to kiss someone taller than you?"

Grinning, Azriel prodded, "Amazing actually. I've been breaking my back to kiss you."

You gasped, swatting his shoulder with the towel you had tucked into the back of your skirt, "I'm not that fucking short!"

His laugh boomed throughout the kitchen as you fiddled with the ends of your hair, "Okay, maybe I am just a little bit. Cassian's right, how do we have sex?" Azriel continued to laugh at your mumbling as he lifted you from the counter, placing you back on to the ground which felt so far away from where you were stood moments before.

Your mate bent down to peck your pouting bottom lip, pulling you into his body and stroking his fingers through your hair, "Who are we to question science? It works, that's good enough for me."

"It's definitely good enough for me."

"Oh I know. You told me as much last night - ow!" Azriel hissed as you dug your heel into his foot, frowning, he asked, "What was that for?"

Your cheeks flushed pink and you bashfully whispered, "I don't need Cassian to know what I tell you when we're doing that."

"You said it first."

"And?" There it was, the sass, the popped hip and arched brow, "Now move, I need to finish cooking and you're blocking my view."

Azriel smirked, "Oh my beautiful little thing, but I am the view."

A giggle floated through your lips, his favourite sound apart from when you were moaning his name beneath him, "You're lucky I love you," you fell into his open arms and pressed your lips to his clothed chest, to the exact place where your lips always met when you stood before him.

"I wouldn't change anything about you, you know that right?"

Humming in agreement, your hands wrapped around his back, "I know, Az," you pulled away, craning your neck toward the ceiling to look at him, "I'd change one thing about you though," his face dropped, "That you'd stop purposefully hiding things on the top shelf."

Azriel took a step back, "You know?!"

Scoffing, you turned, focusing back to the slowly simmering melting chocolate on the stove top, "Of course I know. I'm small, not dumb."

Azriel's warmth swarmed you, his huge arms nestled over your chest, and he rested his head atop your own, "All I can do is do it a little less. You know I like man-handling you. It makes me feel strong."

"Big Illyrian baby."

Authors Note

Just a little drabble on a Wednesday evening x

[multi-fandom-imagines8]

Not So Rational

Summary: On a mission together, Azriel's composure slipped, leading to an unexpected confession.

Fictober Challenge

Everything had gone relatively smoothly on your latest mission until the path you and Azriel were following seemed to disappear. His shadows drifted around the both of you, protective and searching, as you both came to a halt in the clearing.

“Well, this is fantastic,” you sighed, placing your hands on your hips as you surveyed the surrounding woods. “We’re lost. I’m officially declaring it.”

Azriel shot you a dry look, the corners of his lips twitching ever so slightly. “We’re not lost. We’re…recalculating.”

“Recaluclating?” you repeated, arching an eyebrow. “That’s what you call it when you have no idea where we are?”

He let out a soft huff, but you could tell he was holding back a laugh. “I don’t think you’re in a position to critique my tracking skills, considering you’ve been following my lead without complaint.”

“Because I trust you, Shadowsinger. And your shadows are supposed to know the way,” you retorted, an impish grin spreading across your face. “But if you’d like me to take over, I’m sure my impeccable sense of direction will get us somewhere…maybe not where we need to be, but at least somewhere.”

Azriel’s eyes glinted with amusement, and he crossed his arms over his chest. ��Impeccable sense of direction? Is that what you call getting us turned around three times on our last mission?”

“Hey, that was one time,” you protested, jabbing a finger in his direction. “And I’m pretty sure it was because someone’s shadows were being…distracting.”

He playfully swatted your hand away. “My shadows were being distracting?” he said, looking at you with mock incredulity. “They’re practically invisible, Y/n. Especially at night.”

You leaned in, your smile teasing. “Partially invisible, maybe. But definitely distracting. Or maybe it was you being distracting. Hard to say.” You shrugged.

Azriel’s smirk faded ever so slightly, replaced by something deeper, more thoughtful. He stepped closer, and suddenly, the air between you shifted. His eyes searched yours, and for the first time, you noticed that he seemed…uncertain, hesitant. Vulnerable, even.

“Y/n,” he said quietly, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it. He’d noticed that he’d been the one always taking charge, leading you, giving orders without you ever complaining. And he wanted to share things with you. After all, you were partners, and he wanted you to feel equally involved. “What do you think we should do?”

You blinked, taken aback. “Me? Az, you’re supposed to be the rational one, remember? The steady, level-headed strategist. I’m the one who makes bad jokes to lighten all that seriousness and gets us around in forests.”

He tilted his head slightly, and a smile ghosted across his lips. “Supposed to be...”

You scoffed. “Yeah, right. One of the three strongest Illyrian warriors, the Shadowsinger, the Spymaster and torturer of the Night Court isn’t rational?” you teased, though your voice wavered slightly as he closed the distance between you.

Azriel’s hand reached up to gently tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his touch lingering. “You make me question my rationality all the time,” he confessed, his voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart.

You couldn’t tear your eyes away from his, swallowing hard. “I do?”

A rare smile curved his lips, a hint of mischief in his eyes. “You do,” he murmured, his voice low and rough. “When it comes to you, I don’t think I’ve ever been rational.”

“Az, are you…flirting with me?” you asked hesitantly, trying to sound playful even as your voice trembled.

He leaned in, his breath warm against your cheek. “What if I am?”

You stared at him, searching his eyes for any hint of whether he was serious or joking. Words failed you as you kept looking at him, the silence thick and electric.

“What? No comeback, no retort? Have I finally managed to make you speechless?” he teased, his smirk deepening.

You wanted to say something- anything. To shoot back, but all you managed to let out was: “Uhm… I-”

He couldn’t hide the satisfaction he felt at seeing you so flustered, so off-guard, struggling. He closed the remaining distance between you, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that felt both inevitable and charged. His hands cupped your face, and you melted into him, your knees almost giving in as years of tension and unspoken feelings finally broke free.

When you pulled away, breathless and dazed, he rested his forehead against yours, his shadows wrapping around the two of you in a protective embrace. “I guess I’m not as composed as everyone thinks,” he whispered against your lips, his voice full of affection.

You laughed softly, threading your fingers in his hair. “Good. I like you better this way.”

[thisblogisaboutabook]

Baby Mine - Part 2

I Don’t Dance

Azriel x Step-Daughter/Daughter, Azriel x Reader (his mate) - fluff and parenting - family dynamics

This can be read as a stand-alone if you imagine a situation where Azriel and Rhys are in a healthy co-parenting relationship. Rhysand is the biological father but Azriel is mated to the mother and, with her, raises their daughter as his own. I highly suggest reading Baby, Mine for their story though.

Baby, Mine - Part 1

I'll never settle down, that’s what I always thought

Black hair, hazel eyes, a smile that turned his heart to mush. Entering the room, her little hand gripped her mothers. Her eyes shone brightly, taking in the splendor of the grand room. Sure, she’d been in the House of Wind countless times but Starfall was always spectacular.

His daughter. Not by blood, but by heart and soul. Six years old and the most precious thing he’d ever beheld. Equally tied with the babe nestled in his arms at the moment, little wings tucked in tightly as he snoozed.

They’d thought this one would be a girl. Six-year old Azure (Azzie, for short) was certain that she would have a little sister but was completely enamored with her little brother from the first moment she lay her eyes on him. She’d almost forgotten about her wish to have a little sister, that is until the slight swell of her mother’s stomach recently appeared and she found she was going to have another little sibling to dote on.

Gods, Azriel was a lucky male. His mate, his children, the love and joy they brought into his world would never be lost on him.

“Daddy!” Azzie shrieked, barreling for him. Her little legs bounding through the room as quickly as they could carry her. She looked lovely, wearing a cobalt blue tulle dress that flared at the waist and shimmered throughout the skirts. And his mate, her dress was the cobalt blue equivalent, except it hugged her body all the way to the floor with a slight flare as it met her knees, the peek-a-boo fabric forming a deep “V” at her chest. At one point, the cleavage would have had his cheeks warming into a blush, but now they reddened as it pointed right to where their newest little love was growing.

“You look beautiful, little star.” Azriel crooned, kneeling down as his daughter flung herself into an extended arm, careful to keep the sleeping babe tucked in tight to his other. Her scent so familiar to him that sometimes he forgot that it was a combination of Rhysand and his mate’s and not his own.

It never bothered him though. While the dynamic was peculiar, it worked. He loved Rhys, Feyre, and Nyx as his own family. Rhys always respected Azriel’s decisions when it came to Azzie, while still loving her unconditionally.

Azriel looked to find Y/N’s eyes twinkling as she took in the three of them, love flowing freely into him through the bond. Her hand settled on the swell of her abdomen. He couldn’t believe they were fortunate enough to have gotten pregnant again so soon, though it was perhaps less of luck and more of his lovely wife’s nymph heritage. But to him - it felt pretty damn lucky.

It was then that the babe started to fuss.

“My sweet little Illyrian baby.” Y/N cooed, extending her arms, as Azriel carefully handed their son over. The babe instantly snuggled into his mother’s warmth, his cherub face turning toward her fabric covered breast, rooting for milk. With a soft smile and a playful roll of her eyes, she excused herself and the baby, heading down a quiet corridor where she could nurse him in peace.

I don’t dance but here I am, spinning you around and around in circles.

Azriel looked down to find Azure looking up at him in question. A familiar tempo filled his ears, the soft melody reminding him of days past. He looked down at his daughter, marveling over how much she’d grown over these years. He’d spent over five-hundred years in this world, lost but finding solace in his found family and then Rhys brought home Y/N from under the mountain, turning fifty years of peril into the most bittersweet blessing of his immortal lifespan.

There she had been, his mate, carrying his brother’s child - and he didn’t give a damn about blood. Azure and Y/N were his to cherish and love. And the added element of Rhys? It only solidified that his found family, was his true family.

It’s not my style but I don’t care, I’d do anything with you anywhere.

Y/N sat in a quiet room at the house of wind, the babe was almost asleep, he’d just needed her warmth and comfort to soothe him. She relished this moment, because though her breast was an instant pacifier, Azriel was typically the one to settle the children. The hum of his shadows and his presence, somehow iron-strong and yet, warm and safe, a beacon of comfort.

Tonight, she was the one to comfort the baby and she made certain to relish the moment, these days were fleeting, passing far too quickly for her liking. She needed to wean him, was in the process of it, but she had to admit that it felt nice to be needed.

Seated on a plush ottoman, she leaned her head back against the wall, closing her eyes as visions of Azriel, of their family danced through her mind. Azriel, her best friend, her strength, her sword, her shield, her everything. The protector of peace and love in their family. She hoped he knew how much he meant to them. She needed to remind him. She would tonight. He’d been her rock through everything. Not everyone would have taken to their mate carrying the child of another with such acceptance and devotion, yet her Shadowsinger had taken it all in stride. He’d never been jealous of her friendship with Rhys, he’d never belittled her for her past, he loved her through and through. He was the glue that held them together.

When Azzie was born Rhys came by the house with gifts and sweet praises, but it was Azriel who had held Y/N’s hand through each hour of grueling labor, through each painstaking contraction, each bitter curse through the pain.

When Azzie broke her arm at the park in Velaris, it was Rhys who took her for ice cream to lift her spirits. It was Azriel who had gently washed off the dirt and the tears from her eyes, spirited her to Madja’s without a second thought, and it was Azriel who rocked her until she fell asleep, spending the night on her floor in case the pain woke her up.

When a kindergarten bully made fun of her wings, Rhys reminded her how beautiful and strong she was. It was Azriel who decided then to stop holding back on teaching her to fly. They spent all weekend working on wing extensions and proper maneuvers for lifting off the ground.

And his girl? She was a natural. Azure quickly realized that her wings were a gift, she’d heard the song of the wind and how it called for her. She hadn’t viewed any snide comments as a slight since.

Y/N’s heart swelled at the thought of her mate and the life they’d built together.

You took my two left feet and danced away with my heart.

Azure looked up to Azriel. “Daddy, it’s my favorite song.” A smile curved his lips. A heartwarming memory of humming the same melody to her when she was the same age as her baby brother came to mind. He’d held her to his chest, allowing Y/N the much needed rest she deserved after weeks of colic-ridden nights. Poor Azzie had struggled so much, and Y/N had been so overtired, she’d tried so hard. In the end it was his shadows, the same shadows that soothed him during the hardest nights of his childhood, that began to hum the melody. He hummed along with them and Azure was out in moments.

That was his first dance with his daughter.

I don’t dance but here I am.

He’d never been one for dancing. He’d of course learned what he needed to for courtly affairs, it’d taken Mor 400 years to get him to go out to Ritas, he’d danced with Nesta once in the Hewn City to save Cassian’s ass after an impulsive move. He’d danced with Y/N in front of the fire in their living room on several occasions, and every Starfall since. Until his girls, he’d never felt the need to dance before an audience, but he’d do anything for them. Hell, he may have been a bastard for it but he even took an infinitesimal amount of pride in the world seeing that the stone-cold Shadowsinger was more than just a weapon, he was more than capable of love and, after much patience and understanding from Y/N, knew he was worthy of being loved in return.

So, Azriel took Azzie’s hand and let her lead him to the dance floor. He got lost in the music, the feel of her small hands holding onto his much larger, scarred one. She didn’t see the blood they’d elicited, the internal scars that haunted him, she saw the loving hands of her father that held hers when she needed comfort. She saw the gentle male at his core, the same gentle male that her mother had fallen in love with, that he’d found a life of bliss with.

I’d do anything with you anywhere.

“Dad?” A female’s voice stirred Azriel from his sleep. He opened his eyes to find a strong, confident raven-haired angel before him. His daughter. How fast life had gone.

“It didn’t take THAT long to curl my hair.” She snickered.

“Cut me some slack, Azzie, I’m six-hundred years old and your mother was up fretting over today’s details all night.”

A soft smile curled her rosy lips. It was so similar to Rhys’ but those hazel eyes of hers, gods, they still shone just as brightly as they did the day she was born. His eyes. A gift Y/N swore was granted from the mother herself, Azriel was inclined to agree.

Azure stepped forward, brushing an out of place lock from his forehead. “You ready?”

Azriel huffed a sound that fell somewhere in the range of chuckle and exasperation. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

Striding arm and arm out the door, they walked in companionable silence down the hall of the temple. His little girl had grown so fast and today he’d hand her over to her own mate. The moments blurred as they met up with Rhys at the doors to the main hall of the temple, his violet eyes misty, much like Azriel’s.

You’ve got me in the palm of your hand.

The males escorted her down the aisle, reveled in the vibrant smile she flashed to her mate, the words of love and adoration they shared. Azriel only grieved how quickly time passed but he’d found joy that today they officially welcomed a new member to their family. Not that her mate hadn’t already been accepted by the entire inner circle, but today it was official.

The moments flew by and before Azriel knew it, the small audience of friends and family were gathered to witness the father-daughter dance. A mortal tradition that some fae had adopted. Azriel’s heart swelled as he and Azure stepped onto the dance floor, drifting into fluid graceful movements. She’d reserved this moment just for them. There was no bitterness from Rhys as he watched proudly from Feyre’s side as the father who raised Azzie handed her off from their dance, to her mate.

And then, Azriel sauntered to his own beautiful mate. The one who taught him that hope can be found even in the darkest of places, the one who showed him what unconditional love could do for a soul, the one who he’d built a family with. Extending a scarred hand that he no longer was ashamed of, he took her hand and swept her into his arms, dancing the rest of the night away with his mate, his home.

I don’t dance.

—————————————————

I hope you all enjoyed this follow up and that the timeline jumps made sense. Thank you for reading, I adore you all!

Tags

ACOTAR General: @lilah-asteria @thecollegecowgirl @mochibabycakes @nickishadow139

Thanks to whomever submitted this request for inspiring me to write a follow up 🥰

[oristian]

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@azrielappreciationweek Day Five — No Need For Poetry

“A thing of secret, lovely beauty.”

— ACOSF, Azriel Bonus Chapter

While there is certainly no need for poetry, it exists nonetheless between these two. There is something so utterly poetic about two individuals seemingly lost within the darkness, yet accepting what it is that they see and remaining resilient despite it all.

For this piece, @norabraveseeker and I wanted to showcase the dynamic between Gwyn and Azriel. We are so taken by the potential that their story has and the narratives and plot arcs attached to both of them. Equals. Yin and Yang. Wind and Water. Light and Shadow. Holy and Blessed. Warriors. Carynthian. Survivors. The Shadowsinger and the Priestess. The Illyrian and the Valkyrie.

Mates.

ART CREDIT @lyyzismess

COMMISSION BY @oristian @norabraveseeker

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST

[falsemneme]

We explicitly learn in the next chapter (Chapter 31) that High Fae pregnancies of Illyrian children are nearly always fatal. (Cassian refers to this pregnancy as a death sentence.) Rhys knows this. Cassian knows this. Madja knows this. What pisses me off in this scene is that the emphasis is on the health of the baby. Feyre is forbidden from shape-shifting because of the risk to the baby... but what of the risk to Feyre??? Feyre won't have the chance to change the colour of her hair 'cos she'll be dead!

Feyre's chances of success in bearing this baby naturally without complications are slim to none. In just a few short paragraphs, Rhys makes it clear that he is prioritising the baby, and his mate won't have a voice in her own pregnancy. She won't be given all the information, just enough information to keep her compliant (i.e., she won't be tempted to try magic).

Look, I know he came to the vision of his own child in the Christmas Special, but I have a tough time believing that the Rhysand of the original triology—who emphasised that they would be equals, that he'd no longer keep secrets from her, that she'd always have a choice—would not treat her as an equal, keep something pretty fucking important from her, and rob her of a voice and a choice. Either SJM assassinated her own character, or THIS is Rhysand. This is who he is at his core. He will tell Feyre up and down he won't keep secrets (like their mating bond, like the true risk of her pregnancy) from her, but he will. He always will. And every time she finds out, she'll be pissed off, but nothing will materially change. She'll come back. Give it a week. She'll forgive and forget. And what a sad fucking picture that paints.

[sidthedollface2]

Something Old and Something New

Pairing: Azriel x Reader (Rhys sister)

Summary: Rhys tells Azriel to back off Elain and find release at a pleasure hall. Instead, Azriel finds you, Rhys' younger sister. 

Or

The Princess of the Night Court becomes Azriels rebound. What could possibly go wrong?

Word count: 4.8k

Warnings: MDNI 18+, ANGST, hurt/no comfort, cheating? (not really tho you'll see), smut (p in v, oral, fingering) no use of yn, nicknames, drug use, alcohol.

A/n: I’m back from vacation and decided to do this one shot in between crown fit for a god. I really don't like using yn (its me not you) so every one of my fics will have a nickname but its still x reader. I’m sorry in advance if this hurts you. Anyway, enjoy. :)

“You will leave Elain alone. If you need to fuck someone, go to a pleasure hall and pay for it, but stay away from her.” 

Azriel hadn't slept in weeks. The weight of his shame suddenly became too heavy for his illyrian shoulders. You weren't supposed to be this magnetic and he wasn't supposed to stick around this long. He told himself it was just going to be a quick fling, someone he could spend the night with and try to forget about her.

 But you had always been in his company. Ever since you became of age he thought you were stunning and entirely too good for him. You were afterall Rhysands younger sister. The female version with equal power and even more beautiful. Graceful when needed, mostly among people of importance, and always polite and kind like a princess should be. You were a Princess for the people, earning the citizens trust and walking among them like each and every person was your friend. It was no secret why they preferred your company to their High Lord.

Your amethyst eyes were now engrained behind his very own eyelids, everytime he closed his eyes for the night, they shot wide open. The image of you under him all those nights and the soft moans as he took you to bed in the shroud of darkness. He really didn’t know how it happened, mostly, he blamed it on the alcohol. One night after Ritas was all it took for him to be obsessed, seeking you out when his loneliness threatened to consume him.

Azriel’s panting mixes with your own moans as he pumps himself inside you. The delicious drag of his thick cock leaves you breathless under him. His touch is gentle as he cups your cheek, his hazel eyes never leaving yours as he imagines forever in your arms. “You're so beautiful. Can’t believe I get to have you.” He coo’s as he trails soft kisses down your neck, nipping and biting your flesh, careful to not leave any marks. Your hands card through his dark waves, back arching off the bed when his lips attach to your pebbled nipple.

Kissing and biting at the fullness of your breasts, soothing away the love bruising he left on them previously. His scarred hands feel like silk when they roam the soft curves of your body, lighting a fire within you with each and every touch. Knees dig into the bed as he grips your hips, still completely sheathed inside you. He moves your body against his, matching the velocity of his thrusts. Deeper and deeper. One arm wraps around your waist while the other rubs tiny circles on your clit. His eyes never leave your beautiful face as his favorite part comes to life right before him. Your head is thrown back, mouth agape as pleasure builds in the pit of your stomach. “Oh fuck Az, don’t stop.” Azriel’s eyes sparkle with wonder as you fall apart beneath him. Toes curling as the force of your orgasm takes over all your senses. Azriel follows soon after. His pace stutters as your name falls from his lips with a groan. Spilling his seed into you with slow thrusts, ensuring each drop doesn't go to waste.

 “You were so good for me baby,” he smiles as he peppers your face with kisses. Azriel pulls out with a hiss and you giggle into the covers when his toned ass walks to the bathroom. You pout adorably when he returns wearing a pair of low hanging pants, and a warm cloth in his hands. “None of that love. I’m all yours and very willing to give you seconds and thirds,” he waggles his eyebrows and nestles between your legs. No shame or embarrassment from neither of you as he gently cleans you up. In between his gentle wipes he places a loud kiss to your core, “so fucken pretty.”

“Pink or Red?” He asks, looking through your assortment of panties, imagining how you'd look wearing the lacey ones. “Black.” Is all you reply and Azriels grin widens when you pick the lacey ones. 

He insists on helping you get dressed, pinching your butt and digging his fingers in your sides, making you giggle. You swat his greedy hands away. knowing it's just an excuse to keep touching you. “I’m not going to let you help me next time, all you do is tickle me,” you joke, knowing very well you couldn’t keep him away if you tried. “Fine. I won’t tickle you next time,” he says, crossing his arms with a sly grin on his handsome face. 

“You said that last time, and the time before that too.”

“Then you should know what to expect. Now come to bed, and snack with me.” Azriel moves to lay on the bed and opens the covers. Patting the space next to him with the palm of his hand, beckoning you next to him. You don’t have to be told twice, because this was without a doubt your favorite part. Like clockwork Azriel requested all your favorite snacks and without hesitation the house delivered.

Like a true Royal he fed you ripe grapes from the vine, watching intently as you parted your mouth for the sweet berry. Azriel licked his lips when your mouth wrapped around the fruit, making you chuckle as you pulled it off the stem. “When you said snacks this is not what I had in mind. I was thinking more like dessert.” 

“You just had dessert baby,” he teased with a shit eating grin as he gestured to his cock. You couldn’t help the snort that escaped from the back of your throat, causing you both to burst into fits of laughter, giggling like children. Who knew the shadowsinger belly laughed so openly. Something he only did with you. Once your laughs died down Azriel indulged you with a sweet treat. Again offering to spoon feed you, taking every chance to lick frosting off your glossy lips or fingers. 

By the end of the night you couldn't believe how sore your cheeks were from laughing so hard. Azriel had this charm about him, and you couldn’t get enough. You draped your arm over his toned stomach. Head nestled against his chest, listening to the rhythm of his strong heart, a melody you loved to fall asleep to. He held you close to his chest, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, inhaling the scent of your hair, “Goodnight baby,” he whispered. 

“Night Az, I love you.” 

Silence. 

Azriel didn’t sleep that night. Neither did you. You didn’t expect him to say the words back, because he’d shown you he loved you in his actions alone. But his coldness afterward was unexpected. He laid still under you. No longer stroking your hair, or rubbing small circles on your back. It was like all the air had left his body yet the rhythm of his heart increased, hammering against his chest with the ferocity of a freight train.  If he felt your saddened tears fall on his chest he didn’t mention it, too caught up in his thoughts to console you. 

But now all his thoughts were of you and how quick your love had turned bitter when he didn't respond after you had said those three words to him. 

He was an idiot. Because he did love you. At the very sight of you his heart beat wildly in his chest. He wanted to spend every waking moment holding your hand and kissing your perfect lips. Fall asleep with you in his arms only to be awoken by your feminine beauty.  But Rhysand was unaware that you two were in a relationship. Were you in a relationship? He never asked. Wanted to. But he didn’t. He couldn’t imagine a day where Rhys would accept him as your lover. Rhys had been furious that he wanted to sleep with Elain, threatening him to no end. He couldn't imagine the anger if he were to find out that he turned his efforts to you instead. There were only a few things Azriel was scared of. Rhysands fury if he were to ever find out he’s been sleeping with his sister. And losing you. Those sort of went hand and hand didn’t they. 

You woke up alone the following morning. Thinking that your confession was too much for the shadowsinger. And perhaps you were just one of his many conquests added to the long list of females that warmed his bed. For as long as you knew Azriel he only had casual flings, nothing of substance. No one he introduced to his family. It made you feel stupid. He made you feel stupid. Hoping that you were the one he could call home. Someone he could envision spending the rest of his life with. You could forgive him for not saying ‘I love you’ back. That didn’t stop you from loving him and that didn’t mean he didn’t care about you. Because surely he did right? 

Right?

It wasn’t just that though, you had overheard Azriel tell Cassian sleeping with you was a mistake and that choosing you to be his rebound hadn’t worked out for him. “She said she loved me. It’s just all wrong. This wasn’t how I wanted things to go between us-” You didn’t bother hearing the rest of the conversation. Azriel’s words left your heart gaping, a wound so large you were afraid no one could mend it.

You had missed the importance of his following words, how Azriel wished he had done things right with you. Courted you the right way, with flowers and lovely dates to the finest eateries. Taking things slow at first, holding hands and sweet kisses under the moonlight. You didn’t hear Azriel explain that you had become more than he ever expected, more than just a rebound. He wanted a life with you. Now and forever, just you two and the family he always wanted.

You’d both move into a beautiful house just along the Sidra where you’d spend hours decorating every room to your liking. He’d soon marry you in front of all his family and friends, wearing the finest gown that glittered brighter than the night sky. During the mating frenzy, because of course you were his mate, he’d be sure to fuck a baby into you. And if his seed didn’t stick he wouldn't stop until your scent shifted to one of a pregnant female. He just hoped that Rhysand would give his blessing. 

Now everytime Azriel tried to seek you out, you were nowhere to be found. Like you had just vanished from the Night Court, even though the other members had interactions with you. You suddenly had no time for Azriel. The citizens of Velaris saw you less and less and when they did, your time spent was cut in half. Your joyous laughter no longer echoed the halls of the House of Wind, instead Cassian and Nesta’s not so secret sex romps were becoming more frequent. You had changed your entire schedule to avoid crossing paths with the shadowsinger. 

You no longer spent your mornings having breakfast with Rhysand and Feyre, instead you woke up earlier than usual and held your morning breakfast in the library. 

 “Why are you having breakfast here and not with Rhys?” Azriels hazel eyes took you in as he neared, noticing your tense shoulders. Closing the book in your hand, now finished with your chapter, you stand and gather your items into your bag, “was just catching up on some reading.” You don’t meet his gaze, the sight of him too painful for your heart to bear. “You haven’t been training with Cassian either,” he continues. “Or shopping with Mor. You haven't exchanged books with Nesta and,” Azriel towers over you, his breath fanning over your cheek at his closeness, “you haven’t warmed my bed.” Your eyes finally meet his, a look of desire in his warm eyes as his hands come up to cup your face. A glance over his shoulder has you pulling away from his touch as Elain enters the library, her soft voice dancing along the walls, “Hi Az.”

He ignores her completely, doesn’t even spare her a glance. But your eyes travel from her to him and back again. You see the fondness she has for him in the flush of her cheeks and the way her voice sings as she calls his name.

Memories of their subtle interactions come crashing into your mind. Her shy gaze whenever he walked in the room. The slight brush of fingers when they crossed paths, his lingering gaze when she exited a room.

He’s not yours, and you're not his. Never was, never will be. It dawns on you then that all the soft touches and lingering glances were never sincere but simply a ploy to get Elain jealous. Everytime you made love to him you gave a part of yourself, hoping he would accept you with open arms and an open heart.

You had hoped you were the only one in his life that made him throw his head back, eyes closed shut in ecstasy. But it's clear now when he closed his eyes he saw Elain riding him instead, not you. She was who he really wanted and you were just a placeholder. The rebound. 

He knows you well enough to tell when you're about to fall apart and now is one of those instances. It clicks for him now why he hasn’t seen you. Azriel catches your arm before you dart away, his touch gentle yet firm “you're avoiding me.” He says, worry etched all over his face as he attempts to pull you into his chest. “I’ve figured it out so you can stop pretending to care about me now.” A tear escapes your waterline and Azriel reaches to thumb away the hurt that he's caused.

You don't give him the chance as you swat his hand away and turn to make your exit. He’s panicking now watching you practically run away from him, as you hurry to get away from his presence.

A wound so intense suddenly opens within his heart. With no other option but to just blurt out the first thing that comes to his mind to keep you close. “I adore you!” he says breathlessly and waits for you to run into his arms so he could kiss you silly. When you turn around to confront him, Elain comes up from behind him and wraps her arms around his middle in a tight squeeze. A picture perfect couple you think to yourself, her innocent personality and bubbly nature a lovely contrast to his tall, dark and handsome. Azriel can’t pry her arms off him in time to chase after you before you rush out of the library, traces of your scent still lingering in the air. 

You run and run you're not sure for how long, just long enough till your tears are dried tracks along your soft cheeks. You find yourself in the arms of your brother, clutching his shirt in your closed fist as you loosen the cries that held your throat hostage. “Hey hey, what's wrong?” he coo’s pulling away just enough to see the heartbreak etched in your pretty face. “Send me away please Rhys, I am begging. I never ask anything of you, it doesn’t have to be forever, just a few months.” Your shoulders are shaking violently as you continue to wail into his chest, the intensity of your cries cracking the high lord into submission. “Are you sure, love? I can fix-” 

“No! There's nothing you can do.” 

Rhys nods, winnowing you to a secret cabin that sits along the border of The Night Court. “Just tell me this. Are you in any danger?” he asks, “because I know Azriel and Cassian or even myself will-” 

You wince at the mention of Azriels name, “I’m not in any danger, brother.” You assure him as you settle on the couch in front of the hearth, pulling a warm throw over your body and curling in on yourself. “Good, that’s good. I’ll talk to Kallias. He has someone he wants you to meet. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind hosting you for as long as you need.” Rhysand takes one last look at you, studying how unhappy you look, hoping you can confide in him your troubles, whatever they may be. You lay bundled under the comfort of the blanket, your glossy eyes staring into the flames of the fireplace. It’s heat providing a comfort you wish was someone else's. 

Azriel enters your room frantically searching for you, but he gasps and stumbles back when he sees Cerridwen packing your belongings. “Where is she?” he asks, his voice tense and panicked as he grips her by the shoulders. “I’m afraid I don’t have that information.” 

“Why are you packing her stuff then?” He starts shaking her shoulders, as if it would quicken her answer. “She’ll be visiting the Winter Court and Rhysand requests her favorite items to be sent to her.” 

You were running away from him, when all he wanted was to run toward you. Azriels world shattered completely. If you weren't here to live beside him then he had no interest in living. He had been too complacent in being in the now and not once had he initiated to be something serious. Now he was left with longing. 

That same night Rhysand made accommodations for you to stay in the Winter Courts Palace. Kallias and Vivienne were more than happy to have you stay with them. They were quite eager to introduce you to their son Kit. Hoping that with time you’d become great friends. Kit was the spitting image of his father. His white hair styled to perfection, with not a single strand misplaced. Chiseled cheekbones and a sharp jaw, pouty lips with Icy blue eyes to match his cool demeanor. His eyes trailed your beautiful curves as he bowed, taking your hand within his, placing a tender kiss to your delicate knuckles. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you Princess.” 

Your violet eyes met his and for a moment his pretty face made you forget about your heartbreak. Kit extended his elbow to you and without a second doubt you linked your arm with his as he led you to see the beauty of his Court. 

You spent the next two weeks in the company of the future Heir. Kit remained a respectful host. Introducing you to his closest friends, a welcomed change of personalities compared to your friends from home. Each evening he’d join you for dinner. Offering a different restaurant each night in hopes to expand your palate in order to get a feel for your favorite foods.

During your brief stay you opened up to him and told him of the situationship you had with Azriel. You explained to him what you overheard Azriel say and how stupid he made you feel after you confessed your love for him. “I finally saw the way he looked at her and it broke me more than it should have, because I remember when he looked at me the same way.  I heard him tell Cass that I was just the girl he picked to get over her. I never meant anything to him. Yet this whole time it had been real for me and I foolishly fell in love with him.” 

“Oh sweetheart, you deserve to be someone's first and only choice. You’re a Princess of The Night Court, if anyones the stupid one It’s him for not seeing how incredible you are.” With the end of his sweater sleeve, Kit wipes away a stray tear that escaped your waterline. His gentleness is a stark contrast to the ice flowing within his veins. “Besides I hear there's a handsome Prince looking for a warm heart to thaw the coldness in his soul,” he smirks playfully, rocking on the heels on his feet, a look of innocence in his crystal eyes. Your sweet giggle transcends into his favorite song and he makes it a mission to hear it often. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Azriel was tearing himself apart from the inside out. By the third day of being plastered and starting fights with innocent bystanders; Rhys had pulled him off missions until he sobered up enough to function.  All that did was give him a larger drinking window. He visited every winery and brewery in Verlaris, sometimes even forgetting how he got there in the first place.  Drowning in bottles of liquor till he could barely stand, let alone fly or walk or do anything for that matter. Tonight was different from the past two weeks, as he decided to smoke his problems away, alcohol no longer providing the high that made him forget.

 The strain for tonight was Mirthroot laced with Amnesia Haze, a hallucinogenic that could either make your deepest wish a reality or make you completely forget your life's problems.

Azriel couldn’t remember how he got up the steps to the house of wind. He couldn’t remember lots of things as of late. One thing he’d never forget though, was your scent and the way you made him feel. So when he opened the door to the house and your sensual perfume hit his nose he almost fell to his knees with relief.

You were finally home. He could explain himself and tell you that he loved you and that you meant the world to him. Azriel followed your scent like it was second nature. His shadows excitedly rushed up stairs towards your bed chambers, leaving him slightly confused because you were sitting at the kitchen Table.

Your hair was long in flowy waves down your back, a little longer since the last time he saw you. It hadn't been that long had it? It didn’t matter, all he wanted was to hold you in his arms again. Keep you safe in Velaris where you belong. Azriel slowly approached you, his breath shaky as he placed his hand on your shoulder. “Vi?”

Violet, the nickname you were given for your stunning eyes with various shades of purple and blue. Your eyes met his and you smiled, “Hi Az.” 

“Gods I missed you,” he admitted as he pulled you up from the chair, enveloping you in a warm embrace. You were slightly startled at how tight he hugged you. Inhaling your scent deeply as his nose nuzzled against your neck. “I’m so sorry, for everything. Please forgive me?” Azriel cupped your face between his scarred hands, angling you to look up at him. His pupils were large and dilated, a gaze mixed with sorrow and lust.  Your brows furrowed in confusion, “Az? What are you talking about?” 

“Come here, I need to tell you something.” Azriel lifted you onto the kitchen counter, earning a small yelp from your lips. He settled between your knees, making your thin night dress pool around your hips. His hands remained on your exposed thighs, rubbing them softly to keep you warm. His eyes never strayed from yours, like he couldn't believe you were actually here. “I made a mistake and should have never let you feel like you were the wrong choice. I don’t care what Rhys says anymore. I want you.”

His hands inch closer to your center, a silent request to touch you as the other brings your lips to his in a steamy kiss. You nod into the kiss, giving him permission to touch you. Azriel pulls your panties to the side, easily coating his fingers in your arousal, groaning when he feels how wet you already are from his kiss alone. 

Your breath catches when he slips his fingers inside and curls them in a come hither motion. “Oh gods Az, I’ve dreamed of this moment,” you pant into his mouth, needing more of him, anything he's willing to give you’ll take. He then rubs tiny circles on your clit, making you throw your head back so hard it slams against the cupboard in a loud thud. White flashes behind your eyes as your orgasm crashes over you, a giddy smile plastered on your face from the pleasure he's given you. 

You hop off the counter, eager to return the favor. Palming his cock, you notice he's barely hard, a groan escapes his mouth as you fumble with his belt. You pull Azriels pants down along with his underwear, pooling at his ankles, his cock still not fully erect. Your small hand grips him at the base, making him hiss. He sways side to side, eyes closed as he concentrates on getting hard, something he's never had to do before. You pump his shaft. Once. Twice. And then you wrap your lips around his cock and suck, the warmth of your mouth excites him and he stands at attention, finally. “So the rumors are true,” you coo.

“Fuck baby, your mouth feels so good. I Fucken love you.”   

Wait. What rumors?

“Azriel?” 

Azriels eyes fly open. You're standing in the doorway, shaking like a leaf in the wind with a  hand over your mouth. Sobbing loudly into your hand, tears blurring your vision as they escape your waterline. Heavy drops fall to the ground and the only sound heard is the unmistakable ‘pop’ as the female on her knees releases Azriels cock from her mouth.  

Azriel blinks rapidly, shaking his head, trying to rid himself of the haze he's in. He looks down to the female, stuffing his cock back in his pants as she's scrambling to get up. 

“Elain?” he chokes out her name, tears welling in his eyes as he stares at her, devastation in his wide eyes  as he realizes what he's done. What he did to her thinking she was you. His eyes turn to meet yours again, but he only catches your dress billowing as you turn around and run. Your loud wailing echoing in his ears like a hammer to a church bell.

“Vi wait! Please. It’s not what you think!” He yells, rushing past Elain as he sprints after you, needing to reach you before you winnow away.  His heavy footsteps pound against the tile floors, waking up the rest of the inner circle. Just as you're about to reach the knob Azriels arms wrap around your middle, pulling your back to his chest. You both crash to the ground from the force of Azriels tackle. His back meets the hard floor in a loud slam, cushioning your fall. “Let me go!” You plead, kicking and  clawing at his arms that are tightly wrapped around you. “Sshh, baby please. Listen to me.” his voice cracks as he tries to calm you down, “I love you, I love you so much. I thought she was you!! Please believe me!” 

Your voice slices through him, like a dagger to his already bleeding heart. “I hate you!” You scream out in anger, venom lacing every word as it hits its mark. “I hate you! I fucking hate you!” 

Darkness envelops the entire room, It’s cold mist threatening to devour anyone who so dares to defy its power. “Azriel, release my sister before I sever those hands off your body.” Rhys stands at the bottom of the stairs, his power bouncing off him like flames of a fire. The rest of the inner circle gathered around him, watching in horror as both males stood off in a staring contest. It’s Azriel who wavers; finally releasing you to shuffle away from him. 

Azriel sits on his heels, a subtle submissive pose showing respect to his High Lord. “Rhys, I’m sorry. I’ve been in love with your sister for some time now. Too cowardice to tell you or her,” Azriels gaze falls on you. “I’ve been a mess since you left. Masking my pain with alcohol and drugs, which is no excuse. But tonight I took a hallucinogen, and,” his chin wobbles as he tries to hold back his tears, “I made the biggest mistake of my life. I know I’ve lost you, and you will never forgive me. However, I need you to know, in front of everyone, that I have always loved you. I will always love you.” 

Azriel lowers his head. The flood of emotions finally pulled him under the surface, drowning him in his own misery. Fat heavy tears break from his eyes; landing in scattered drops along the floor beneath him. This pain is all consuming, torturous in its own vile way. Tearing at his heart shred by shred, a disastrous mess all by his own hands. A lonely scarred heart to match his scarred hands. Hands that once held the most precious gem, a rare Violet beauty; now only hold the memory of a lost love. 

When Azriel lifts his head to see your face for the last time, he’s once again too late. Fear latches onto his ankles like a heavy chain, anchoring him to the bottom of the sea. You’re gone. His darkness driving away your bright light, leading you into the arms of someone new.  

Part 2 (Something Borrowed)

[sarawritestories]

Azriel X Fem Human Reader

Summary: Azriel finds your journal and reads your depictions of the life the two of you have spent so far...

Content Warning: Memory loss, Death of a character, grief, someone on their death bed. Mention of Poison

Word Count: 2.9K

Dedicated: to @daycourtofficial who broke my heart with her Az fic this week

Tags: @milswrites @berryzxx @lady-of-tearshed @simple-fan2 @enchantingcupcakecollectionfan @riddlesb1tch

ACOTAR Masterlist

There once was a human girl, who fell in love with a fae male.

After the war when borders had blurred, a young human woman traveled to Prythian the land of the fae. Not aware that some still held hatred in their heart for her kind. The woman cornered by fae males twice her size, looking at her as if she were their next meal. Slamming her eyes shut the woman began to tremble and wishing she would have stayed in her safe little hut.

Yet no one had laid a hand on her. Not a hair out of place. She only opened her eyes when the shrieks and snarls of males overwhelmed her ears. Flashes of cobalt lit the alley. The males scurrying with their tails between their legs, no longer fierce predators, but the fearful prey.

Swirls of shadows slithered around the woman’s body, their touch soft kisses against her skin. They wrapped around her neck and back down before slithering away, one lone tendril remaining and resting against the woman’s wrist. Despite her life being threatened moments before she laughed. This sentient magical being was not scary, but playful and cute.

Then she heard the clearing of a throat and her head slid up, no longer paying attention to the shadow, but the person who wielded them. Whispers of the male and his friends were the talk of the village.

“Shadowsinger.” The male blinked in surprised at her knowledge of who he was.

The male spoke, and the woman, never heard a more lovely sound. “Most people call me Azriel.” He smiled and held out his hand. “Are you alright?”

The woman slid her hand into his and a spark erupted from his touch and the woman panicked as a gold thread wrapped tightly around her heart, she couldn’t see it. She felt it. Something in her mind told her that the other end led to the person in front of her. “You’re my mate.” He whispered. The woman didn’t know what he meant by that. She didn’t have to know. Two things she knew was true:

This Male’s name was Azriel, and this male named Azriel made her feel safe.

A few years went by and the woman absolutely adored her mate.

She had a mate! Someone who was her equal in every way. Someone who promised the day she accepted the bond to love and cherish her until the day air left his lungs for good. Only to promise that in case, he would simply find her in the next life.

The young woman now had a family to call her own and a loving partner to walk through life with. New adventures awaited them.

But she will always be grateful for making the trip to Prythian, the beginning of her Happily Ever After.

The end

Azriel closed the journal, his gaze eyes meeting your cloudy ones. “That was a lovely story, young man.”  He smiled and gripped your now elderly hand. In the Spymaster’s eyes, you had only grown more beautiful with age. Your smile lines grew deeper from the years of laughing with Cassian. Forehead creases from playing too many games with Rhysand focusing on your shields so he couldn’t cheat. Every wrinkle, every crease, every spot told a story. Your story. As your body grew more wrinkles and your hair began to gray, the shadowsinger somehow fell deeper in love with you, your beauty knew no bounds and he thanked the mother that she chose you as his mate.

“You wrote it, my love.”  Azriel gave you a rare smile and you returned it with one of your own. “It’s about how we met. About our bond. You wrote it to tell Nyx someday, to tell our children someday.” Children the two of you were never destined to have, your body too fragile to carry an Illyrian babe to term. You were devastated when Madja revealed that to you. You thought you were broken; Az recalled the numerous times you apologized to him simply for the human body you possessed. Your apologies met with arms around you and Azriel rocking you murmuring how you had nothing to apologize for.

You looked upon the fae male whom in the last 50 years had not aged. His hazel eyes felt familiar to you though you couldn’t place how. One thing you knew for certain was that this male was in love. “You have a woman in your life.” There was a flicker of sadness in the male’s eyes, but he blinked, and it was gone. “An old woman can tell these things.”

The male gave you a smile, you felt inclined to reach for his hand, he immediately grips your hand in his own, the raised skin of his scars colliding with the frail now thin skin of your own. “I do. Would you like to hear about her?”

“Please.” The handsome male squeezed your hand. “She must be special, your eyes light up, just asking to talk about her.”

“She’s wonderful.” The male’s timbre shook slightly, you patted his hand encouraging him to continue. “When she reads, she always crinkles her nose, and her face always flushes when she reaches a smutty scene.” You chuckled, “When I return home from a mission, without fail she is the first one to greet me. Leaping into my arms, her scent consuming me entirely.” His thumb idly stroked the top of yours. “My favorite thing about her, is late at night before she goes to bed, she would sit at her desk and write in her journal.”

You blinked and you smiled at the sight of your best friend, your husband, your mate. “You always scolded me to come to bed.” Azriel let a sob lose as he pressed his forehead to yours. “No fair.” He sniffled as his shadows came to greet you, as if you had been gone for ages, “You haven’t aged in 50 years.”

Azriel pressed his lips to yours, “You have only gotten more beautiful with time, my love.”  He pulled away and you were able to see every emotion in his hazel eyes. Most people had a hard time figuring out what Azriel was feeling. You always knew he held every emotion in his beautiful eyes.

You lifted a hand to his cheek, and he leaned into your touch, you swiped away his tears, “We agreed,” You whispered, “No tears. No goodbyes.”

Azriel whimpered and it was the first time you ever saw the spy master look defeated, broken, lost. “We were younger when we agreed to that. You can’t ask this of me.” His palm pressed over yours. “Not when we have such little time.”

“Az, look at me, baby.” His watery gaze met yours, “We were running on borrowed time. I’ve made peace with that years ago.” Another broken sob escaped him, and you began to feel your own tears coming to the surface. “I don’t want this to be how I remember you. This isn’t how I want us to part.”

“This life isn’t worth living, if you’re not here.” His shadows kissed your cheeks, drying your tears. “I can’t live without you, Angel.”

You pressed your forehead to his once more, your arms barely able to lift you up anymore. “You can, and you will. Nyx needs to see how you are not just serious. That you’re funny, and kind, he needs to know that Auntie loved him so much and will watch over him. Just like I will with you.” Your vision blurred as the tears trickled down your aged cheeks. “Maybe we’ll be lucky, and the Cauldron will turn me into one of your shadows.” A strangled sound came out of Azriel. “I love you, Azriel and I will love you in every lifetime.”

Azriel brought your lips to his once more. “I Love you too. Wait for me in the next life.”

“Hold me. One last time.”  You moved to make room for your mate. He slid his boots off and tucked his wings tightly to make room on the cramped bed. He scooped you in his arms, his shadows resting comfortably around your waist. Your whole world holding you close to his chest. “Az?”

“Angel?”

“Will you sing me to sleep?” You whispered, your eyes growing heavy, your body feeling so weak.

Azriel’s wing came over as if knowing you had caught a sudden chill. “For you, my love. Of course.” Azriel’s melodic voice singing words of love and devotion. Before unconscious held a grip on you, you felt his lips on the top of your head, “Until we meet again, My Angel.”

Azriel awoke at the sound of feet pattering on the hard wood floor down the hall. He looked over at you, your skin paled, lips a slight shade of blue, Azriel couldn’t hear your heartbeat and the bond had faded to a dim light sending his love down only to feel hollowness at the other end.  Tears slid down his cheeks as his shadows confirmed what he already knew:

Gone

Gone

She has left.

A little dark head of hair wandered in and Azriel jolted as the heir of the Night Court climbed on the bed. “Auntie!” His little jovial voice echoing through the room. Azriel moved and covered his mouth as he shut his eyes fighting the sob. “Auntie, it’s time to wake up.” The Shadowsinger opened his eyes to find Nyx brows furrowed. “Auntie?” He shakes your lifeless form before he places his head against your chest, as Rhys and Feyre reached the room. Nyx lifted his head, his lip wobbled, as he met Azriel’s eyes.  “Uncle Azzy, why can’t I hear Auntie’s heartbeat anymore?”

Feyre’s cries broke the silence as she also realized how still you had become. Rhys looked at his brother as he held Feyre close. Azriel didn’t miss that he held her closer than normal, not that he faulted his brother.  Rhys’ throat bobbed as though he was trying to contain his emotions, for his mate, and his son. “How long?” The High Lord’s voice cracked.

“We fell asleep. Her memory came back last night.” Azriel picked up Nyx.  “I woke up, she was gone.”

“She’s right there.” Nyx argued. “Auntie, didn’t leave.”

Feyre sniffled as Azriel pressed his cheek to his nephew’s head, “Her soul is gone, Little one. Her body was not meant to live as long as us. She aged and yesterday her soul left this plane of existence.”

Nyx’s eyes, so much like his father’s, lined with silver. “Will she be lonely? I don’t want her to be lonely.”

Azriel held the boy close not noticing Cassian rushing in, pain lacing the General’s face as he walked over to your body. Grabbing your limp hand Azriel whispered, “No she’s not alone, sweet prince. She’ll be busy.” Cassian kissed the top of your hand and Azriel tried to keep his composure.

“With what?”

Feyre answered, “Watching over us. She’ll want to see her favorite nephew grow up.” She walked over, opening her arms so that Azriel would hand Nyx. “Uncle Az needs a minute let’s go down and grab you something to eat.”

The small child simply nodded as he cried into his mother’s sweater. Rhys and Cassian lingered, “I’m sorry, Azriel.” Cassian was the first to speak. “She was a wonderful person.”

“A better friend,” Rhys interjected.

Azriel climbed back into the bed and pressed your lifeless corpse to his chest, allowing the tears to fall. “My perfect mate.” A shadow slithered from your ankle and swirled wildly until spotting its master. The lone shadow lingered by his ear whispering.

I’m Here

I’m With You.

Forever.

🌟🌟🌟

A century had passed without you though Azriel never felt alone. Not when one shadow would remind him you were near. Especially as he lay in the same bed you once did after a mission had gone terribly wrong leaving the spymaster fatally wounded. Sweat coated his brow as Nyx now a grown fae male held his hand, “Uncle Az, I’m sorry I should have listened.”

“Your stubborn, like your father, I’m used to it.” Azriel coughed and blood sputtered from his mouth just as said brother walked in, Cassian in tow.

Nyx rose, “Father, I.”

Fury laced Rhysand’s eyes, “Go see your mother, Uncle Cass and I will be having an at length discussion with you about following orders.” Guilt laced the young males’ features but to Azriel’s surprise, the prince puffed his chest out and walked out of the room, not sparing his brothers a second glance. Azriel smirked.

You would have been so proud of the male he has grown to be.

“He’s grown up so much, hasn’t he?” Your voice carried and Azriel’s head snapped toward the door. His shadows scurried away and began swirling around your body. Not the older woman you were when you left this world, no you were the young woman who braved the fae lands alone. The fierce youthful woman, Azriel had fallen in love with, the only difference was your skin had an ethereal glow and your dress of tool, sleeves draping off your shoulders and down your feet.

“Angel,” Azriel whispered smiling, as Rhysand and Cassian sat at either side of him.

“Madja, said that the wound was laced with poison, she said he might hallucinate.” Rhys spoke holding onto his brother’s hand as if the grip alone could keep him from disappearing.

“We have spent over 600 years together,” Cassian’s tears falling. Azriel’s eyes remained on you as you walked deeper into the room. “I was supposed to go first.” Cassian’s sobs were thunderous but were muffled to Az as he watched you place a hand on Rhys. The High Lord briefly looked over his shoulder as if he felt your touch.

“You noticed my shadow huh?” You giggled as your eyes met Azriel’s hazel ones “I promised you I would be with you. I kept it.” Azriel wanted to speak but you held up your hand, “Baby, save your words.” You looked over at your friends. “They need them more than me right now.”  You moved and Azriel thought you glided from one spot to the other where you pressed a kiss to Cassian’s cheek. A gesture the general always returned. Cassian’s hand slid there tentatively as if remembering your sweet gesture from years ago.

“Cass,” Azriel’s lips chapped throat tight, “You are my dearest friend. Thank you, for being kind to me and showing me what a brother really looks like,” Cassian’s voice broke as he kissed Azriel’s knuckles.

“Fuck you, you prick. You can’t leave. Please don’t leave.” He choked out, Azriel’s gaze turned to Rhysand.

“Rhys.” Azriel wheezed, “It was an honor to serve as…your spymaster…” Rhysand silently cried as he rested his forehead against the shadowsinger’s knuckles. His shadows are still swirling and kissing you. Azriel continued, “Being your brother, and Nyx’s uncle…has…been my greatest…honor…go…easy… on him…” Rhys nodded not being able to form words.

You approached your mate, “My love.” His eyes fluttered shut as your hand reached out and cupped his cheek. “I have been granted the greatest gift.” You pressed your lips to his head, “I get to bring you home with me. We can be together again.”

Azriel hummed as another fit of cough erupted from his mouth jolting his two brothers’ alert. “Az, stay with us.” Rhysand’s voice grew panicked. “Azriel, please we still need you. Nyx needs you.”

Azriel’s eyes creaked open, and Cassian noticed life fading from them. “I love you both. Take care of each other.”

“Az-

Azriel cut the general off, “She…” both Cassian and Rhysand stilled, “is calling…me home…”

Rhysand and Cassian then looked to where his shadows were swirling, as if they could see you there. Cassian squeezed his hand fighting the tears. “Tell that little spitfire, hello for me.”

Azriel’s eyes began to droop. “I understand,” His violet eyes looked to where yours would be though he couldn’t see you, “I know you’ll take good care of him, like you did when you were here.”

You leaned down your breath lingering over Azriel’s lips, “It’s time to come back to me.” You kissed his lips and as you did, Azriel’s grip loosened from his brothers’. The roar of Cassian deafening. You pulled away from Azriel’s lifeless body only for hands to grip your waist hoisting you up, there was a glow to the now tanned arms, though his hands, no longer scarred, they were how he had always wished them to be, unharmed, undamaged. His nose grazed your skin, “I missed you too, Azriel.” He hummed.

“My Little Angel.” He pressed his lips to your cheek, “Take me home.”

You led him away, your hand adjusting to the now smooth skin of his own. He looked down at his hands and grinned, and your heart soared “No phantom pains, no ugliness.”

“They were never ugly, Azriel.” You scowled and kissed his knuckles. “Come now we must go.” You led Azriel away from his lifeless body, only to pause and turned to his shadows that were following the two of you, “Take care of them. You hear me.” The shadows nodded and swirled around Rhys and Cassian as if wrapping them in a snug blanket.

As they walked down the hall, glancing at Feyre holding a sobbing Nyx tear of her own, Azriel’s voice broke your concentration. “Tell me the story.” He didn’t need to elaborate.

You paused causing him to stop too, you pressed your lips to his, and he cupped your cheek. You put a hand to his chest and lightly pushed, “There once was a human girl, who fell in love with a fae male.” Azriel smiled as you led him to the afterlife.

His Perfect Little Angel.

~Fin

[readychilledwine]

Trials and Tribulations

Rhysand Week Day 1 - Adolescence

Summary - Rhysand was always a cocky teen, until it came to you at least

Warnings - Childhood crushes, first dates, flirting, Cassian and Azriel being wingmen (no pun intended), mixed ending (some will like it, some won't), reader likes traditional female roles (it makes sense in the end)

A/n- Happy @officialrhysandweek! This is just a short cute fic with Rhys and a childhood crush. I like to imagine Rhys was always really smooth with everyone, but someone he felt genuine emotion for. I feel like that's a skill we are still watching him learn to cope with and tackle with Feyre.

✨️Rhysand Week Masterlist✨️Rhys Masterlist✨️Master Masterlist✨️

Arrogant is a strong word, but it fits how you felt about the male in front of you perfectly. Yes, he was beautiful. His hair dark as night, sharp jawline, eyes so deep and blue they almost appeared purple.

But that smirk. That smirk as he touched you, flirting with you so openly as other Illyrian males and females watched in stunned silence. It was enough to make you feel as though all attraction to him was melting away.

“Remove your hand from my hip or I will have my father remove it for you,” that smirk dropped at your words, his eyes growing wide with shock. Rhysand's hand slowly moved off of you, the strategy Cassian had told him to use not working in the slightest on you.

He glanced back to where his brothers were sitting and watching. Nonverbally begging for help. It wasn't that you didn't want him touching you. He knew that just based on your thoughts, but you were almost upset he had.

6 months. 6 months of you two admiring each other from afar, of shared sneaking glances, of occasional words and smiles shared, but you were rejecting him. Rejecting his advances.

“I- I apologize,” he took in a quick breath before trying Azriel's tactic, one that worked for the mysterious and handsome male without fail. “Do you want to go back to my place and talk?” He watched as your face fell, a glare appearing in those normally bright eyes. “I fucked this up, didn't I?” You only nodded and walked away from him, going back to your older brother and his friends.

Rhys returned to his brothers then, grabbing his drink before walking out of the community dininghall.

Cassian chased after him, Azriel not far behind as Cass yelled, “What the hell happened?!”

“Your ideas didn't work.” Rhys had never sounded so small, so insecure. Being a half illyrian came with challenges, but Rhysand had always been strong through them. He faced adversity with the confidence of a male who knew his worth, even if others felt that worth was lower than he did.

“So we make a new plan,” Azriel was stoic in his response. “I know she likes you. I overheard her telling her friends during chores.” The three of them began replotting the next day. For a week, they formed a new plan for Rhysand to charm you into a date, into a walk, anything.

You shook him to his core. Your smile, your playful eyes, your voice. You knocked him off his pedestal and he had no plans in allowing you to walk away without so much as a single date.

The following Saturday was warm, a full moon in the sky, bonfires all around. You were with your friends, all giggling and laughing while your brother stood guard. The two of them were holding eye contact, your brother almost silently begging Rhysand to try again. The two of them liked each other. Trained together frequently. Discussed you even more frequently.

Your family was more forward-thinking. They believed your worth was equal to your brother's, but oddly, you loved chores. You made the choice not to train. You loved keeping a clean home, baking, cooking. You loved your vegetable garden. Perhaps it was that choice that both drew Rhysand to you and made him struggle in dealing with his feelings for you. So many other Illyrian females were happy to crawl into his bed. To rebel for a few hours or all night. Yet you? You had a healthy home. A happy life. There was no need for you to rebel against a heavy-handed father or a cruel mother.

He had been attracted to you since his mother brought him here. A childhood crush he longed to turn to more. It wasn't until Azriel and Cassian came into the picture that he felt it was possible, though. The three of them were always pushing each other. They motivated each other to be there best, to be strong, to be good males. Rhys knew he could be that for you. He could be strong. He could be confident. He could be all you needed him to be if only he gave himself a chance.

He took his beer like a shot before walking over to you, praying to The Mother the second time would be the charm. “Can we talk,” he offered his hand, waiting for you to place your smaller one in it and smiled when you did.

“How was training this week?” You were hoping to help him relax. He loved when you asked about him, loved when you cared about his week.

“Good. Got to fight Cassian hand to hand.”

“Ah, so you lose again?”

He glared at you playfully, “Barely.”

“How quickly did he take you down?”

“I’ll have you know-”

“So quickly then,” you interrupted with a smirk.

“Smartass.”

“Sore loser,” You shrieked as he spun on you, throwing you over his shoulder. “Rhysand!” He could hear you say his name forever. Listen to your laugh on repeat. He tried to keep his confidence with him as Azriel and Cassian gave him thumbs up from the treeline.

They had figured out that it was Rhysand you liked. Rhysand. Not his looks. Not his money. Not his massive wings. Not even the fact that he was heir to the Night Court. It was him. You liked him. You liked how easy your conversations flowed, how kind he was, how easy it was to push his buttons. You liked the friendship you two shared, the moments of vulnerability and innocence.

Shamelessly, he carried you to a blanket and picnic basket he and his brothers had set up, setting you down with little grace. “I brought snacks."

You blinked at his simple statement, “You brought snacks?”

“For our date, yes,” he sat down without further words, opening the basket. “Are you going to sit or just stand there?” He would never admit how insecure he was feeling right now. That anxious bubbly feeling in his stomach threatening to ruin his plan of wooing and courting you.

It wasn't visible to anyone else, but you saw the change in his eyes as you studied him, the way his glance kept flickering to the trees. “You're kidding me,” your gaze followed his. “You brought Azriel and Cassian?”

His face fell and a blush began to spread, “No! I- no!” He stood again, blocking you from looking over into the trees by flaring out his wings. “Just us. You and me. Me and you.”

“And your friend Az?” Rhysand wanted to melt on the spot as you continued trying to look around with him with a bright smile. “You're normally so confident, Rhysand,” you suddenly stopped and just stared at him.

“You bring out my nerves,” he said calmly. “You're beautiful. You're smart. You're lovely. We're friends. You-”

A voice broke from the tree line, “Stop ranting!”

The two of you began to laugh as he sat back down and you followed him. You had never seen him like this before. A ball of nervous energy just looking for an outlet.

“Relax,” you whispered and leaned your head on his shoulder. “Tell me about what Azriel and Cassian are like.”

Rhysand seemed to find his confidence in that touch, that soft reassurance. The coil in his stomach released, his shoulders falling, “I'm the most handsome out of the three of us,” he said loudly, smiling as you nodded. “And the most delightful. Possibly the most cunning.”

“Definately the most humble,” you mumbled, earning a playful glare. As the date went on, he eased more. His rants about Cassian and Azriel caused loud yells to come from suddenly noisy trees at random times.

It became the first date of many in his late teens. A reference point he now used as he stared in the mirror getting ready to take Feyre out.

You had been his gold standard. A childhood crush turned teenage sweetheart, turned first heartbreak, turned sister. You, in all your tenderness, had helped shape him similar to how Cassian had, to how Azriel had. You were his only true romance before Feyre and one of his hardest lessons in his younger years.

He threw a pillow at you as he entered the living room, “Thanks for baby sitting Nyx tonight.”

You put a finger on your nose, a game all too familiar to you and him, and pointed to Azriel, “All him. But you are welcome.” You adjusted his tie for him. “Relax,” that word rang so many memories in his head. “She loves you."

General Taglist:

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanagers @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish @azrielsmate3 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @meritxellao @aria-chikage @hungryforbatboys @lilah-asteria @fandomrejects @sleepybesson @tayswhp @itsswritten @milswrites @littlest-w01f

[pellucid-constellations]

you were asking for drabbles so a cute little drabble about az trying to cook for reader?

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Word count: ~230

Warnings: None!

a/n: I love doing these drabbles :)) I did baking instead, hope that's okay!

____________________________________________

“Wow, this is—” 

“I know.”

“No, Az, it’s great. Really,” you comforted. 

“It’s really not, actually.” 

“Are you kidding!” you smiled. Definitely not a smile to hide your laugh. “This is—the best, um…” 

“It’s a cake.” 

“The best cake I’ve ever seen!” 

Azriel huffed out a laugh, shaking his head as he abandoned the apron that had done little to protect his clothes from the flour and eggs and icing. 

“I’ve never baked before.” 

“I never would have been able to guess that.” 

You turned from the cake and engulfed your mate in a hug, the Illyrian mumbling about your clothes getting ruined, but ultimately picking you up to sit you on the counter that was equally coated in flour. 

Now eye-level, you pressed a kiss to his cheek and then his nose. “What made you pick up a whisk?” 

Azriel’s face flushed a pretty maroon. “I wanted to have something in common with you.” 

Some of the humor left you. “What do you mean?”

“You own a bakery,” he began, fingers tracing your jaw. “You have a cat, go to tiny teashoppes—I barely fit into your house. I wanted you to see that this could work, even if we don’t look like it should.” 

“Oh, Az,” you tutted, pressing your forehead to his, flour now coating your cheeks. “I love the cake, but I didn’t need it to know that we worked. I already knew that.” 

[acotarxreader]

Mirror

Rhysand x Reader and Azriel x Reader

Synopsis: You were gifted with the ability to mirror other fae's magic with a simple touch and your free spirit nature leads you to cross very close to the borders of a hidden city, where your future best friends and soulmate snatch you out of the sky to protect their border.

Warnings: ANGSTY AF, a lil fluff, action, mentions of injury and breaking bones, silly Rhysand, high drama

Inspired by Tolerate It & My Tears Ricochet by Taylor M.F Swift

A/N As voted for by you friends! (Kinda fitting you choose the taylor inspired fic when I'm off to have her change my life lol) Okee this is a long angsty buddy. I used the timelines from this website and I hope that translates well.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

1692

You had met your three best friends including your soulmate by pure luck of the Cauldron. Lost along a long mountain road, you wandered through the hills of a stretch of Night Court long-forgotten, as the Spring snow settled. You moved through the overgrown coastal trail, the shadows of the trees allowing you to shield yourself from the elements as you used your ability to shapeshift into the ease of the eagle cutting through the air. 

A bloodcurdling roar left your hooked beak, plummeting through the canopy of trees, using a strike of power to change to your Fae form, the arrow split through your upper arm where a wing had once flown. You rolled as you hit the ground, absorbing the force and pushing it away again, splitting the soil. You lay for a moment looking up at the night sky you had just cut through, gaining your bearings, your skin fusing around the arrow and pushing it out of your skin without your intervention. You sat up at the sound of light feet crossing the undergrowth before forcing yourself to stand, a hand hovering over a blade strapped to your leg. A knife sailed through the air, darting past your head, missing you by millimetres to sink into an oak tree. 

“Look, I’m not super into this covert ambush nonsense” You called out, your voice bouncing off the flora. You took a deep breath, closing your eyes lightly before spinning on the ball of your foot, releasing your knife from your thigh through the air, the sound of sharp groaning your reward. You followed the path of the blade to find a young Illrian, one wing pinned to an ancient tree, blue syphons shimmering to match his hazel eyes. 

“Damn, I’m rusty, I was aiming for your shoulder” You mused quietly, Azriel’s eyes scrunching before he reached for the blade, only to have you do it for him, freeing his flesh. The act of freeing someone you intend to hit confused him. His hand went to cover the spurting blood, a glow seemingly radiating from your energy, Azriel wishing to bask in it for the rest of his days.

You outstretched a hand to pull him to his feet, Azriel entirely confused but equally enchanted. He contemplated taking it until you spun back away from him to send your knee up and into the stomach of another hazel-eyed Illyrian. 

Cassian took the brunt of your knee but was mostly unshaken, stretching to catch your throat with crushing force. You managed the lightest of light laughs through your shrinking windpipe before flexing your fists. Cassian suddenly felt your neck seemingly harden against the strength he exerted on you. Your muscles almost looked to toughen in his grip before he released a single drip of pressure on you, enough for you to winnowing to behind him, sending your elbow into the back of his head with a crunch. Azriel’s shadows shot forward the action causing an obvious smile to decorate your face, the Shadowsinger’s eyebrow raising as he attempted to stand again as you dodged his dear smokey friends, only one crossing your hand. 

Rhysand flew into your side as Cassian reached the ground, the two of you rolling briefly, matching your winnowing course with unrelenting precision. You felt a grin grow as a slight stream of blood sprang from your forehead, mirroring the one from Rhysand’s lip. An onyx shadow darted from one of your flexed fists, knocking Rhysand backwards from on top of you, his wings splaying to rebalance. Azriel jumped to pull Cassian back to his feet, not quite sure he had truly seen what he had from your fists. 

“Oh, another High Lord’s son” You half laughed as you managed to stand to put space between you and the three warriors. 

“Who are you!? Who sent you!?” Rhysand barked, his two brothers now flanking him, syphons gleaming in the moonlight. 

“I’m just out for a leisurely trip through the Night Court, your Lordship” Your opal eyes shimmered briefly, stunning the three for a microsecond, your smile daring them to play with you. “No such thing as leisurely in the Court of Nightmares” Cassian matched the tone of his brother, the voice that boomed through legions. 

“You don't think I actually believe that?” Your amusement had Rhysand seething as Azriel studied you carefully, his shadows leaping to his ears with the rapid relaying of information, his eyes widening. 

“Enough” Rhysand’s hand raised to turn you into the same mist that decorated the hillside, Azriel suddenly leapt in front of the son of the High Lord of Night, causing Rhysand to flinch. 

“Stop, she’s mirroring our magic!” You licked your bottom lip before a deep smirk etched into your face, the three males not releasing their fighting stance. A matching expression painted Rhysand, his violet eyes reflecting sharply. “Rhys! Don’t go into her hea-” Azriel’s warning wasn’t fast enough, Rhysand sank to the ground with a thud, his hands gripping his head with white knuckle force as he screamed out in pain he hadn’t felt in decades, not since his shields had been reinforced beyond breaking. You stood, head tilted, unblinking and beaming at the sight, one fist in a ball. Cassian dropped to his brother’s side, trying to think of any possible way to relieve even an ounce of Rhysand’s pain. 

“Stop!” Cassian shouted, feeling a whole new level of useless, Azriels eyes unable to pull away from yours. Rhysand forced his eyes open, the violet glinting before dimming ever so slightly. You released the hold instantly at the sight. Plum flushed across Rhysand's face as Cassian helped him to stand again on trembling legs, oxygen flooding his starved muscles. 

“Should have listened to the Shadowsinger” you mused. 

“Who sent you?” Azriel tried again, your eyes fixating on Rhysand.

“No one sent me, I'm just passing through” You brushed the dirt from your tumble with the High Lord's son from your sleeves, the mark of the arrow healing to a scar. 

“Wh-at do y-ou want?” Rhysand rasped out, Azriel's shadows slowly slipping towards you, darting back to their master with a simple glance from you. 

“I just want to continue on my travels” You looked between the three, sinister smiles now long gone, your truer gentle demeanour taking shape, your shoulders relaxing. 

“Where are you from?”

“Look, I'm not on trial here, I'm just passing through-”

“-My Court”

“-Your Father's Court” You tease, a glint crossing Rhysand's eyes, he pulled from Cassian's grip, striding closer to you. 

“Rhys-” Rhysand only lifted a hand to silence his two brothers' caution. 

“Remarkable” he did a small circle of you, your hands now relaxed at your side, ready to flex if necessary.  

“And so what? Are we to really believe you have no goal on this side of the Night Court?” Rhysand continued.

“I'm just trying to see the world” 

“Remarkable” within arms reach of one another the both of you stilled your movements. 

“What Court are you from?” Azriel met Rhysand's side, your examining of one another breaking. Cassian remained further back, waiting and watching, the strong sense something had been borrowed from him still sticking to his skin. 

“I'm not from a Court per say, I am tied to no land, no home” the two brothers share a brief glance before returning back to Cassian to form a huddle. You didn’t feel it necessary to go into your heritage, The Middle frightened most into another attempt on your life at the mention of it. 

“We should just direct her back”

“As if she'd go Cassian”

“How'd she even get this deep in the Court?” Azriels shadows felt heavy with the lack of information they had on you.

“We’ll figure out that later, she's too close to…you know where to allow her to keep going onwards” The three whispered to one another as you rocked back and forth on your feet, hands finding their home on your hips.

“If the ‘you know where’ is Velaris-” the three males face shot towards your almost bored tone “-I have no interest in exposing your little city, like I said, I'm just trying to see the world” That was all you remembered. Shadows swarmed you with such precision in overwhelming volume it caught you entirely off guard. Their control swaddled you with some air of comfort before pulling you through the space they occupied, Rhysand's tendrils curling around your mind compelling you to sleep, unable to fend off the power of the three combined without formal training. 

–

“What are we going to do with her?” 

“I’m not sure Cassian but she knew about Velaris somehow and we need to find out” Rhysand whispered his reply while looking at your body flop down in the chair they had strapped you to. 

“She said another High Lord son to you Rhys and she was shapeshifting, what if she’s from Spring?” Cassian circled you, matching Rhysand’s pacing, Azriel watching pensively from his comfortable shadowy corner. 

“It's hard to know what she meant. I’ve never heard of someone with her abilities”

“Do we tell your father?” Azriel replied, slipping from his corner to join his friends standing in front of you. You groaned slightly as a shadow traced around your ankle. You rolled your chin along your collarbone, managing the strength to force your head into equilibrium once again, eyes still weighing heavy.

“We don’t tell him unless necessary, he’ll destroy her for this ability” Rhysand squatted down to reach your eye level, a hand landing on knee, rocking it gently to bring you around. The sudden loud banging of doors above the basement had Rhysand standing again.

“I think he knows” Cassian looked to his brothers. Sure enough the High Lord of Night had felt the energy shift even when you were kept deep within the bowels of the House of Wind. The door banged off the hinges as pure power stormed into the small chamber in the shape of his father, Cassian and Azriel standing to attention. 

“Who is that?” he bit, no reply from the males as he stalked closer to you. 

“Who brought her here?” he barked, Rhysand moving to lift his hand only to have Azriel get there first, forever defending his brother. 

“You bring a stranger to my city? I’ll deal with you later” Members of his own inner circle arrived on the scene. 

“Wha-t is happen-ing?” You whined out, eyes adjusting to the light as they widened to the audience in front of you. 

“How did you know where to find it?” Rhysand’s father’s tone dripped with cold as you looked towards Rhysand, a somewhat sympathetic look gracing his face. 

“I’m just passing through” You practically yawned out, hands working their way out of their bounds from behind the chair out of view of your spectators. 

“Well, I’m not sure how much you’ve seen, only that it’s all too much” He leaned inwards as he spoke mere inches from you. Your foot slid along the floor to touch against his foot, his head looking down at the action. He grasped your throat then, forcing a similar pressure Cassian had applied. 

“You-You just took something from me” The slithering feeling of your tendrils dancing around the High Lord’s head had him dropping the force he held on you. 

“You gave it” The thud of your bounds hitting the floor was all you needed, balling your hands together behind you and pushing deep within the High Lord’s head.

“Watch her hands!” Cassian shouted, the room's guests all overwhelming you, Rhysand fighting through your shields once again to send you to sleep as you kept a grip on his father's mind preventing him from misting you. 

-

The next time you woke up you cried out into the dark room. Through blurry eyes you found one of your hands nearly completely crushed, with both of them pinned down flat on a table in front of you with metal bindings, unable to flex. You roared out until your skin tinged blue in mourning.

“Ple-please don-t struggle” The almost quivering voice had you lifting your head towards the darkness. Azriel stepped out into the strip of light the rising sun had provided, his face marred with its own punishing wounds. He had tried to stop the cruelty shown to him from being projected at you. You attempted to move your hands once again, the metal seemingly tightening around you more, causing your lungs to rattle air out in pure pain. Azriel rushed closer to you, dropping to your level as you gritted your teeth, vibrating against the restraints that bound you to the chair. 

“They tighten when you move, the High Lord-he did that, I-I tried to stop him” he managed, your glare heating him, his shadows beginning to swirl around you, their cooling nature giving the smallest drop of relief. One graced past his ear before he nodded, it then flying to the base of your wrist where the knot of locks lay, beginning to attempt to free you.

“We’re gonna try to get you out, tell them you overwhelmed my powers, I’ll deal with whatever that brings” The shadows span frantically, the subtle sound of the lock clicking meeting your ringing ears. You hauled your hands back to your lap, face contorting in anguish. Azriel retrieved a wrap from within his jacket, spinning it like a web around your brittle bones, your eyes tracing over the deep fissures that decorated his own hands before beginning to work on the bindings at your back. You stood as they hit the ground, Azriel hesitating slightly to rest a hand on you to steady your step. 

“Please tell me you’re okay?” He looked down at your marred hands, unable to keep the curiosity to himself. 

"My-my hands" the voice that left you didn't belong to any part of yourself you had met before, your destroyed digits cracking through your heart. Azriel took no further hesitation in holding you into him, no longer caring if you took every cell of power from him, only wanting to provide you some shelter from a similar fate he had faced

“Az, I think I agree we gotta get her ou- oh” Rhysand stood in the doorway, violet eyes illuminating the room, almost pulling you into them. 

“We tried to-to stop him” he repeated Azriel’s earlier plea, your eyes looking back to your withering digits. 

“Cassian, the one you tried to coldcock earlier, will meet us with a healer” Azriel spoke softly again, Rhysand moving towards you.

“Just stay out of my head” Rhysand offered with a smile, trying to take the edge of the air out of the room. He nodded to Azriel who left the room to alert the Night Court that you had escaped. Rhysand wrapped an arm around your waist, your brain screaming at you to not trust him, your heart deciding it was worth it. 

—-------------------

1700

You looked down at the long table in the long-forgotten room deep within the House of Wind, your fingers traced over the deep holes in the table, their slightly crooked nature catching in the divots. The War had ended and soon this table would be used to begin to forge a new path to peace. After the three had freed you, you met them at different intervals over the years, Rhysand requesting your help at various stages, saving them on a few occasions in the trenches of the War that ripped through Prythian. 

“Oh, I was coming in here to get rid of that table” Azriel said from behind you, a smile growing across your face as you turned to him. 

“I think we should keep it, let it remind them what they did to me before they saw use in me” Azriel nodded, the war ageing him to almost unrecognisable from the twenty-something-year-old who had helped shoot you down in the woods. 

“Poetic my love” Rhysand called out from the doorway, equally aged by the horrors of war, he planted a kiss on your cheek, Azriel averting his eyes at the action, ignoring whatever twinged through him. You weren’t sure when Rhysand had gone from your enemy to your ally to your partner. Somewhere between him providing you with a place to plant roots in the depths of the Night Court hidden from his father and you saving him from being blown to bits in the ditches of war maybe. 

“We should move this table upstairs with the other things going to Hewn City” Azriel suggested, wishing to take his mind off the both of you, Cassian entering the room with his usual ease. The three gathered around the gigantic table, attempting to lift it. 

“YN, help Azriel with his end” you nodded to Rhysand’s instruction, Azriel fighting the urge to glare at him.

“YNN, please be careful of your hands” 

“I will Az” You smiled softly at him, Rhysand pursing his lips briefly at the action.

“Do you mind Cass?” He shrugged his shoulders, offering his hand for you to hold briefly before removing your hand to flex it, the bones creaking in the action as your strength felt as though it doubled. You caught hold of the corner adjacent to your partner, your new strength aiding the three.

“Does it hurt mirroring?” “Sometimes it hurts my brain-” you laughed to Azriel next to you“-it really is a matter of tactics, the last fae I touch and choose to mirror pushes out the last power I mirror away from me” he nodded in understanding before Rhysand and he winnowed together with you, Cassian and the table. 

The landing came with a hard thud, the gigantic ancient table weighed down with centuries of cruelty. You groaned as you released your corner, hands contorting in a spasm. Azriel released his section, almost instantly meeting your side.

"YNN, come on let's get a soak made up" "She's okay Az, it happens to her all the time, she has to get used to working through it alone if she is to return to the battlefield alongside us" Rhysand reprimanded the Spymaster for his close proximity to you, his own arm wrapping around your waist in an almost possessive nature. Azriel's eyes searched yours as you held the weaker hand in the other, the spasm unending, releasing another painful breath from your mouth.

"Start tomorrow" Azriel bit, looping his arm through your elbow, taking you from the High Lord's grasp to seek out Madja.

"I'll go Az, you take the table" Rhysand slipped his arm back to your waist, half pulling you back into him, the pain taking your attention away from the tension-filled air.

—-------------------

1800

“It's our home my love, surprise!” Rhysand pulled his hands from covering your eyes, they lit up instantly at the sight of The Town House. You turned to hug him so tightly he thought his ribs may crack. 

“I can’t believe you” you laughed hysterically before practically skipping up the driveway. Roots you never thought would grow from your heart that was born to see the world sprouted through Velaris. 

"I've never had a home like this Rhys" A small flow of salty water threatened the rims of your eyes before they fell parallel to your smile.

“I love you YN” the roots sank deeper with the words.

—-------------------

1850 

“YN? I thought you and Rhys had plans tonight?” Azriel asked from the entryway to the Town House, you sat alone at the dining table, candles sinking to the end of their wick.

“Oh Hi Az, eh yeah, he got- he got called away” Your soft voice was tinged with tears that threatened to fall, the plate of untouched food adjacent to you now stone cold. You stood, taking the plates into the kitchen, scraping them off before sinking them into bubbly water. 

“Oh, sorry to hear that” you just hummed in agreement to him as you polished the plates.

“The House looks great,” he offered quietly.

“Thank you for noticing” You saw a tear fall from your cheek into the suds, you lifted the ornate plate from the water, something seizing in your hand as you did, the plate falling to shatter into a thousand pieces as your hand cramped.

“Fuck!” You shouted, kneeling directly down into the shards, gripping your contorting hand with the other, the tears now freely flowing.

“YNN! Hey hey it's okay!” He met your side, his hands tracing over yours gently. You looked up to meet his eyes as they attempted to coax you through your unsteady breaths. His thumbs traced circles around your palms, massaging the seizure until it gave in. Azriel pulled you back to your feet, ceramics crunching underfoot as he brought you into the living room.

-

“You did not” The laugh left you loudly at one of Azriel’s happier stories from his time at Windhaven involving pulling Rhysands trousers down in front of the whole camp. The two of you sat on opposite ends of the loveseat, curled up in the warmth of the Town House. 

“True story, Gods, we got up to some trouble” he smiled down at his lap and then beamed to you.

“You must have your own stories YNN?” “Not really” You shrugged.

“C’mon now, you travelled a lot before we met you, no great stories?” “None that I can share in the company of gentleman” His foot slipped to tap against you playfully before bending back up to his chest beneath his blanket. 

“Rhy’s thinks I talk too much about that time” You shrug.

“I want to hear every story, at least twice-” You rolled your eyes at his genuine smile "-Do you miss travelling? Flexing that wonderful power of yours?” “I think, I think I was looking for something back then, I thought I found it” You looked at hands as they flattened out as straight as they could.

"What you found was trouble" Azriel grinned and you nodded in agreement.

"Do you enjoy mirroring?" His head tilted, his greatest interest was your greatest asset.

“It can be difficult now, I think I returned too quickly to it after...what happened but Rhys needed me in the war and...I'd break myself for him"

"You already have YNN, you owe him nothing, we owe you everything, if a return to exploring the world is what you want you should have it" He watched you inspect your hands as he had for centuries since his own battle wounds.

"I just want to be happy Az" A single tear fell from your cheek to meet one of your scars, the fissure in your skin like roots in a tree.

"I want you to be happy YNN-" You looked to his sincerity, it enveloped you in kindness "-and if that means never mirroring again, then so be it" "Mirroring Rhys sometimes is the only way I feel close to him” You admitted, curling your fingers back, a full fist still not easily achieved by the hand that was totally crushed.

“It gets easier-” he gestured to your wicked scars “-dealing with the cruelty of others but... No one YNN, and I truly mean no one, should get to treat you with anything other than love” You just nodded softly in reply, the sound of a click of a lock sending your head in the direction of the doorway.

“Rhys!” You leapt from the couch, sweeping away any trace of tears, Azriel hating how easily you compartmentalized it all away in front of Rhysand. You ran into the arms of your partner, a battle hero's welcome as he seemingly brushed you off like a little kid.

“I’m going straight to b- Az? What are you doing here?” “Just keeping YNN company, I’ll see you both tomorrow” He didn’t allow for further questioning, dissolving into shadows. You fixated your stare on the space, Rhysand brushing past you and straight up the stairs. Alone in the living room that you had painstakingly decorated for the two of you. You looked around, a small shadow you created leaking from a fist you managed to ball together before you outed the light. 

—---------------------

1900

“YN could use her abilities” “YN deserves rest Rhy’s, she is eager to travel to the continent” “I won’t risk her abilities Az-” Azriel’s head tilted slightly to the misspoken word “-Her, I won't risk her” 

“But you’ll risk her to expand your border?” Cassian spoke with his own concern similar to Azriels. Rhysand rolled his shoulders, brushing off the question before standing from his chair.

“Needs must”

“She's not your weapon!”

“But she is my partner!” Azriel sat further back in his chair in shock, Rhysand hadn’t spoken with such sharpness since he tried to convince Azriel to allow his father to handle your future centuries ago, his darkest secret. 

“Enough” Rhysand walked to look out the window down to you in the courtyard of the House of Wind, happily stretching in the sun. 

“Are you going to go out to her? She doesn't know you've returned from your trip yet, she misses you” “No, I have more important things to attend to right now, she’ll wait for me” He dismissed himself from his own meeting, flashing out of the room.

“Green is not your colour Az '' Cassian laughed from the table as Azriel found himself watching you from the window, sinking into shadow to join your side in the sun.

—----------------------

2158

“Rhys! Take me with you, please!” “No YN. Enough!” He pulled the tie around his neck until the knot sealed delicately. His eyes met yours in the mirror as you sat on the bed behind him. 

“I-I never get to be around you much anymore” You admitted, your head dipping as Rhysand turned to face you. 

“YN, this will be a boring political ball that Hybern’s emissary is hosting, you’re not missing anything” “I’m missing you” You looked up, the glint in his violet eyes you saw so many years ago had not been seen since. His hand traced along your cheek with such tenderness you hadn’t felt from him in so long.

"You'll wait for me" The words hung between you as he kissed the top of your head and walked out the door without looking back. 

—-----------------------------------

2201

“Wait YN! Hear me out!”

“NO!” you span on your heels, allowing Rhysand to bounce back from you before pushing him away further into the chest.

“YN, I don’t want to hurt you but-” “But! Exactly! You are! Fifty fucking years I waited for you! And what's the first thing you say to me?! She’s my mate! And now you’re going to go and get her and bring her here! To our home!” Rage-hot tears flooded your face, every nerve standing on edge at the feeling of this cosmic betrayal. 

“What do you want from me YN, I just-I just love Feyre!” Rhysand caught your wrists as you went to hit him further, equal despair painting his face. You felt yourself tense in his grip, a very old injury still reminding you of how you got here.

“YOU USED TO LOVE ME!” the roar left you in a blind fury, never had you raised your voice at Rhysand but never had he betrayed you so deeply.

“I can’t make this better! I want to but I can’t, please” he found himself crying now too. You stopped pulling against his hold, two sets of wild eyes landing on one another for what felt like the first time in a long time. 

“You don’t love me, Rhysand. You tolerate me, tolerate me for everything you used to love me for” A fresh set of words like knives fell through the space between you.

“YN-” “-Tell me now, tell me If it's all in my head. Even on my worst day, did I deserve this, All the hell you gave me? Because I loved you, I swear I loved you until my dying day and all you do is TOLERATE ME! TELL ME OTHERWISE!” Once the last voice crack had Rhysand averting his gaze from you as you shook your head, slipping your wrists from him. 

“I can’t tell you that” you backed away from him and the words you always knew but never thought you’d hear.

“I really hope she’s everything you need her to be” The words broke him further through your rattled voice, rage turning to mind-numbing sadness you hadn’t felt since hearing of his capture. You took steps back from him in the foyer of the Town House, seemingly unable to lift his heavy limbs from the marble.

Your feet nearly separated the cobblestone road as you trudged along, passing fae trying not to gawk at their almost High Lady. You stopped once your toes touched the wall protecting the city from the Sidra. 

“YN?” Azriel called out from the end of the bridge as he crossed, quickening his pace to you with your lack of reply. 

“Hey hey what’s going on, more plate smashing?” You huffed slightly into his chest through your tears at the absurdity of the memory. 

“I’m leaving Az” you muffled through the soft fabric, his tough hands finding your arms to push you back from him, deeply inspecting your opal eyes, hands still heating your sides. 

“Leaving? But-but we only just got Rhys back-” Your head dropped to his feet instantly, pushing the rising vomit in your throat away.

“YNN, please tell me, just tell me how I can fix it?” 

“Bring me back in time and leave me to keep flying away” You stepped fully from his grip, his shadows swirling around you, now mingling with the ones you created. You took the deepest breath, pushing a smile through your muscles, tears outlining them. 

“Bye Az”

“YNN, please where are you going?” He pleaded, your arms slipping from his grip,

"Anywhere I want to, just not home" You dissolved into shadow, leaving the Illyrian with his wings dipping to the floor.

--------------------------------

Okeee friends what do we think?

P.S Did you catch that only Az calls reader YNN? hehe. Also, I have part two written and she's based on Who's Afraid of Little Old Me and My Tears Richochet so if you think that's something you'd enjoy please let me know hehe

[bookwormjust]

Clingy with Cassian (established relationship with Cassian)

The dinner was lively, full of conversation and laughter, but as usual, your attention was centered on Cassian. You sat beside him, your body naturally leaning toward him, your hand resting on his arm as he spoke to Rhys and Azriel. You couldn’t help it—you always felt most at ease when you were close to him, his warmth, his presence, his strength all grounding you. It had become second nature to seek him out, to stay near him, and Cassian never seemed to mind. In fact, you knew he *loved* it.

Throughout the night, you’d often rest your head on his shoulder or let your fingers trace absent-minded patterns along his forearm. His responses were always subtle but filled with affection—an arm wrapped around your waist, a gentle squeeze of your hand, or the soft brush of his thumb against your skin.

But not everyone seemed to understand the depth of your connection. As the conversation continued, Mor, with a teasing glint in her eye, finally made a comment. “You two are *always* attached at the hip,” she said, smirking as she glanced between you and Cassian. “It’s like you can’t survive being more than a few feet apart.”

There was a playful tone in her voice, but you could sense a few amused glances from around the table. You felt a slight flush creeping up your cheeks, and you shifted slightly, self-conscious for a moment, wondering if maybe you were being *too* clingy. Before you could even pull away, though, Cassian’s arm tightened around you, pulling you even closer against him.

“Oh, I *crave* it,” Cassian said, his voice deep, leaving no room for doubt. The words were said with a possessiveness that sent a shiver down your spine. His gaze flicked toward Mor, and though his tone was light, there was an unmistakable edge of warning in his expression. “She’s my mate. If she wants to be near me, she can be near me as much as she damn well pleases.”

The room quieted slightly, eyes widening as Cassian’s Illyrian male instincts surfaced, protective and possessive in equal measure. You felt his wing stretch behind you, the soft leathery texture brushing against your back as he made a silent but clear statement to everyone in the room—*you were his, and he wouldn’t tolerate anyone questioning the way you showed your affection*.

You smiled softly, heart swelling at the fierce way he defended your bond. You had always known Cassian was protective, but it was moments like this that reminded you just how deeply he felt. He didn’t just tolerate your clinginess—he cherished it, *needed* it as much as you did.

“I didn’t mean it like that!” Mor said, laughing and throwing her hands up in mock surrender. “I’m just jealous, Cass. Not everyone has someone doting on them all the time.”

Cassian’s lips twitched into a grin, his eyes softening just a fraction, but his hold on you didn’t loosen. “Good,” he said with a low chuckle, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Because I wouldn’t want anyone else to.”

You couldn’t help but nuzzle into his side even more, feeling the solid warmth of his body against yours. His hand came up to stroke your hair, the motion soothing and filled with affection.

Rhys, who had been quietly watching with a knowing smile, raised his glass. “To mates who know what they need,” he said with a wink, his words breaking the tension with ease. The others laughed and joined in, the mood shifting back to its easy, lighthearted nature.

Cassian leaned down, his breath warm against your ear as he whispered, “Don’t ever pull away from me. I *need* you close, always.”

You looked up at him, your heart swelling with love. “I wasn’t planning on it,” you whispered back, feeling the bond between you both thrum with contentment.

As the night continued, you stayed nestled against him, knowing that your clinginess wasn’t just something he tolerated, but something he *cherished*—just as much as you cherished the comfort of being close to him. Cassian’s hand remained on you the rest of the night, as if silently telling everyone that this was exactly where you belonged—by his side, forever.

[thelov3lybookworm]

Comfort Her

Summary: primal instincts and punches

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 2003

Warnings: beron being an asshole, Lucien being a tiny bit violent, proofread only once cus im sick😔

A/n: this didnt come out as i wanted it to, but i hope you all still like it. plus, im sick, so im trying to get as much rest as possible, but i did do my best to finish this fic before i go to sleep lol.

edit: i forgot to add it before but his one is based on this request 🥹

ANYWAY ENJOYYYY 🥳

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Despite how vehemently they denied it, faeries were assholes. Being an almost four hundred year old fae and an emissary, Lucien knew this.

They would nod their heads and agree with people who talked about faerie equality and how lower faeries deserved more respect, but those same people would turn around and torture the lower fae they took as servants.

Illyrians still were a higher group of fae compared to a lot of others.

But still, they were lower fae.

Lucien could remember vividly how when he was a young male, his father had summoned him to his office and told him to never get involved with a lower fae. Even lying with them for one night was shameful, and Beron liked to think his sons could do better than the filth that was lower fae.

Lucien had been more rebellious than his older brothers, and so he had asked.

What about an Illyrian?

That night, he had gotten fifteen lashes for even having the audacity to bring up a lower fae after his father had explicitly forbidden him from them.

But it seemed to Lucien that he was made to love people who others considered filth. Not Lucien, not ever.

Lucien was the most compassionate out of all his brothers, but being fae, even he had been once disgusted by humans. But then he met Feyre, and he could not care less that she was not a fae, that she was something he should not have even interacted with.

Compared to a human, Illyrians were very easy to love. And so when Lucien found himself in love with an Illyrian woman, he was not surprised. 

It was on a small mission to Illyria that he picked up, having asked Rhys to give him something to do because he was too bored by sitting on his ass all day. It was nothing big. Rhys had taken one look at him, offered him a knowing smile, and then told him he could accompany Cassian to the steppes. He was sure Cassian could use a friendly face while dealing with the pompous lords of Illyrian camps.

And Lucien had been all too eager, feeling confined in the beautiful but isolated city of starlight.

And then he had seen Y/n dragging a shit load of washed, soggy clothes in a too big bucket, and he couldn’t help himself. He had walked over to her while Cassian debated about the chore to training times for females, and had introduced himself to the skeptical gaze of his now beloved wife.

She had been reluctant to talk to him, continuously glancing behind him to make sure no one was watching or they’d punish her for being tardy. Lucien had insisted on carrying the bucket for her, and since that day, Lucien made it known that he would love to accompany Cassian to the steppes everytime he went.

No one, except Cassian, questioned his decisions. The Ilyrian, of course, figured it out just after the first trip.

"Lucien! I need a hand!"

Lucien caught himself grinning down at his tea, blinking, before he lifted his head to look at his mate, who waddled over to him from the kitchen, her lips pursed. "This thing isn’t opening."

She shoved a can of corn in his face, brows furrowed in frustration. Lucien set his cup aside and took the can in his hand, examining it before peeling away the metal covering. He smiled as he handed it back to his mate, to which she pouted.

"I hate this."

He shook his head, chuckling as he stood and pulled her into his arms. "My love, your tea is going to be cold if you don’t come and drink it with me, you know."

She huffed, pulling away from him. "I just have to mix this with the vegetables, and then I’ll be done."

He took the can back from her, pushing her down onto the couch. "Get rest, love. I’ll do it"

"But I want to do it!"

Lucien pecked her forehead. "Y/n, we’ve got to go to the high lords meeting in an hour. You need all the rest you can get before that. Let me do this. Yeah?"

She huffed, but didn’t protest as he placed her tea mug in her hands and walked into the kitchen. It always made him smile, her almost childlike anger that had taken root after she became pregnant. It only got worse as she got closer to birthing his child.

But as soon as the smile had come, it dropped as Lucien thought over his own words.

It was Rhysand’s idea to host a meeting again, this time in moonstone palace to discuss how to proceed after the war with Hybern had wrecked Prythian. Lucien had done his best to object, then tried to get Rhysand to let him and Y/n sit out of it, making the excuse of Y/n being pregnant. But of course, Y/n had insisted it was fine, and now they had to go.

Lucien couldn’t care less about what Beron had to say about him. But he didn’t want to hear anything untoward words aimed at his wife.

He knew if Beron opened his mouth, Lucien was bound to spill his father’s blood.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Beron was close. Lucien knew.

The high lords who had already arrived talked and laughed with Rhysand and the rest of the inner circle. Even Tamlin chatted with Feyre, though he seemed too wound tight for the conversation to be anything but polite. Y/n, too, engaged in conversations with Thesan, and while Lucien stood right next to her, his hand protectively wrapped around her waist, he did not know what the two were talking so enthusiastically about.

Everyone seemed calm. Normal, at ease. And when there was ease, Beron was never too far, the chaos revolving around him eager to disrupt peace.

Lucien was too wound tight to look at anything but the huge doors that were thrown wide open, letting in fresh air.

And then Lucien felt it. A group of people entering the wards. It was a gift he had gotten that he himself barely understood. After all, no one else in his family had such powers.

It wasn’t long before Beron, Eris and Lucien’s mother appeared in the doorway, all their eyes scanning the room. But they all had their own reasons for it.

Beron scanned the room, his eyes shrewd and looking for chaos.

Eris looked for possible exits and assessed threats. And maybe Lucien was seeing things but his eyes halted for a moment on Lucien, too.

And his eyes softened, maybe.

But Lucien’s mother? She only looked for Lucien.

The moment her eyes met his, she relaxed, the small tilt of her lips barely visible. Lucien smiled back too, hoping Beron wasn’t looking. And then he squeezed Y/n’s waist, making her turn to look at him, paused mid sentence.

Thesan had the courtesy to leave and find some other partner to converse with when he realised who had just appeared.

As Lucien smiled down at Y/n, his heart began racing, and he turned her slightly. His eyes fixed on his mother now, he saw the way her eyes filled with tears at seeing his son with his pregnant partner.

She hadn’t been allowed much, Lucien remembered from his time when he still lived in autumn court. The only news she got was heard through court gossip and her ladies in waiting. Or her sons, who didn’t visit her much except Eris and Lucien. So it came as no surprise when she stared at Y/n like she hadn’t known of her son’s mating bond.

It wasn’t long before the meeting started, Lucien figured when the high lords slowly trailed towards the circular seating arrangements in the middle of the huge, mostly open sun room. But he stood still against the wall, his eyes keen on his mother as she slowly made her way closer, alert and cautious, until Beron was finally out of sight.

The moment she was close enough, Lucien let go of Y/n and pulled her into his chest, his own eyes prickling.

"Oh, Lucien. My boy." She sniffled, holding onto her son tight.

Lucien felt like a child again, running up to her after hours of studying with his brothers, smiling up at her as he clung to her lap. She used to smile down at him, combing his hair back from his head, and ask him how his day was. She’d then sit him down and feed him with her hands, making sure he ate every last morsel on the plate.

Not able to take more of the emotional turmoil clawing at his chest, Lucien pulled away, taking a step back and wrapping his arm around Y/n again. His mother pulled her into a quick hug too, before she glanced around.

Beron could come searching any moment.

Sighing, she patted Y/n’s cheek and walked away after kissing her forehead, throwing only a glance at Lucien before disappearing with her husband.

Lucien refused to look away until she vanished from his sight, and then he turned to Y/n.

"Let’s go, love."

She smiled sadly, nodding. "Are you okay, though?"

Lucien nodded, swallowing.

The next hour passed in a blur, with Lucien avoiding his father’s occasional sneer and his brother’s gaze, and trying not to look at his mother too long. Throughout it all, the one constant was his arm around his mate.

Comforting her. Protecting her.

It wasn’t until Rhysand stood, offering the high lords rest and refreshments before the ball at night that Lucien stiffened.

"I think I will pass on the invitation to the ball, Rhysand." Beron smirked, his gaze trailing leisurely to rest on Y/n.

Rhysand straightened, clearing his throat. "If that’s what you wish, Beron. But it would have been nice to have autumn court attend the night court’s revels."

Beron waved his hand, as if pushing away the bothersome words. "I would have loved to join, but you see, I barely tolerated your two illyrian dogs. And now my youngest has also bred a bitch-"

And Lucien was already standing, his teeth bared in a snarl.

"Don’t you fucking dare." His finger was pointed towards his father, the other fist clenched tightly.

Beron smirked. "Did I hit a nerve?"

Y/n took hold of Lucien’s wrist, pulling herself up to stand. "If you don’t shut up, my mate is going to hit more than a nerve on your ugly face, my lord."

How Y/n was so calm, Lucien could not fathom. He could almost feet his veins bulging, ready to burst as he stared at Beron.

Beron only snorted, standing. "You dare talk to me, you filthy low born? One carrying a mutt?"

Y/n let Lucien’s wrist go the moment she felt him moving. She knew not to stop a male drowning in his protective, primal instincts.

It was unlike Lucien to get violent, but he wasn’t interested in being like his own self anyway.

Lucien moved fast, too fast for Beron or even Eris to move. Lucien’s fist made contact with Beron’s cheek, pushing his head to the side. It was a good thing most high lords, except Rhysand and Helion, had departed before Beron began spewing his nonsense, or Lucien would have been labelled as violent.

Lucien couldn’t care less.

He grabbed Beron’s collar, getting all in his disgusting face as Lucien spat. "Not another word, father, or this will be the last meeting you ever attend."

Beron snarled, a muscle popping in his jaw. But he pushed Lucien off, eyes wild. And he walked away, without a word.

Maybe he saw how serious Lucien was about it being his last meeting, after all.

Lucien didn’t stay back either. He took hold of his mate’s hand, and then winnowed her away. The only thoughts in his head were to protect her, to comfort her.

And their baby.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

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