#If you're wondering if I got inspired by a certain game... Yes. I don't play it myself though.

[bigs-bigshot]

Three flavors of our favorite man.

[seifz]

I think about the day I was born.. how unfortunate. I think about the day I matured.. you know, if I can call myself mature. I think about my losses and my gains. In that order, yes. No one has ever gained something without losing something first, otherwise I doubt they'd appreciate it enough. I think of the people I miss, and the ones I haven't yet met. I think of the work I put into relationships that never came to fruition, and I wonder if my luck will ever shift. I think of you, and how hopeful I feel because of you.. but then I feel a shiver down my spine. I think of the ones I lost and I remember my best friend.. where is she now.. why aren't we talking as deeply as we used to? Something's off and then I think of all the times I needed anyone to talk to.. but no one ever made me feel...heard..

I think of the failures and I think of the successes, I think of the times I could have done better and I think of the times I deserved better. I think of the times I lost control, and I think of the times I lost people because of my control. I told my therapist how everyone tells me I'm too hard on myself.. I guess we'll figure that out when I tell her about you next time.

I think about my energy and how to distribute it fairly among my interests. I think about games and wonder if I have the time to continue playing any of them. I think about you again, you're probably working and I wouldn't want to distract you. I think about your eyes and I think you're still here even when I don't feel like you are. I think about Vanguard and how fun it would be to actually work for that channel. I think about Dragon Ball and how long I cried on the day the Akira Toriyama died.. I forgot to tell her today that this happened.. I forgot to mention how my inspiration left me in the realm of mortals.. kinda like everything leaves me..

It's dark, I know, but perhaps not too dark for your taste yet.. it's still managable until it gets into those shades that would have you curse me for thinking them. But I don't. Not yet or not anymore, time will tell, but until we know for certain: I don't. I think of my future: do I really want to live past 37? 27? Like REALLY? What's there to live for you fool?? What's there to breathe for??? What have you got in your miserable life that's worth the air you deprive of others??!! I don't know.. I wish I had something, anything! I wish to have something, but I don't. Maybe not yet, and maybe not ever.. but that's not the reason I wake up in the morning anyways..

I wake up hopeful, hopelessly hopeful that maybe one day, maybe some day, I won't feel this lonely! Maybe I will have a life to be proud of, maybe I will have someone to hug me as well as I hug my friends, maybe this hole in my heart is to be filled by something because it was never filled by art.. maybe I will find a reason.. so until then I cling to hope. I cling to you, I cling to work, I cling to music.. I cling to life! Because what is this if not being alive? Chasing dreams, chasing people you dream of, chasing a tune that inspires you to scream your lungs out into the open skies and then smile when the beat runs out because.. whether it's art, a melody, or a certain someone; you feel company.

Maybe I'll live to be 77, and maybe not. Maybe I'll end up with someone who loves me, and maybe fucking not. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow, and maybe not! But despite all of that I'll keep thinking on how to make it all worth it. Because if after all these thoughts.. I don't make anything of my life.. then what's the point of writing this.. what's the point of wasting your time reading it.. and what's the point in oiling the gears up my thinking dome?

I don't know what the future holds. But I think I will manage fine. I would rather not be alone through it though, so please.. for what it's worth.. hold my hand, my friend.. and let's make it a wonderful fucking time.

[scarletttries]

You Are In Love (Eddie Munson x Reader series)

Part Eight: You Let Go, Of Your Fears and Your Ghosts

Pairing: Eddie Munson (Stranger Things) x F! Reader

Tags: Bit of bullying mentioned, one mention of food, otherwise all fluff :)

Word Count: 2.7k

Author's Note: This is the eighth part of an Eddie Munson series inspired by Taylor Swift's "You Are In Love". Links for other parts on my Eddie Munson Masterlist :) As always please feel free to send me thoughts and headcanons for Eddie Munson 💕

And for once, you let go, Of your fears and your ghosts. One step, not much, But it said enough

"Natural Twenty!" Erica shouted excitedly, the rest of the table jumping to their feet in uproar. Eddie stared pensively over the laminated board separating him from the rest of his players, waiting for apprehensive silence to descend over the group again.

"Lady Applejack. How do you want to do this?" He smiled proudly, Erica's face lighting up as she described her character dealing the final blow to the big bad boss of Eddie's latest imaginative campaign.

"And with that, Lady Applejack has once again saved the party for immeasurable peril. Until next week brave heroes." Eddie said gradiously, rising to his feet and performing a dramatic bow as Mike remarked, returning Erica's victorious dice to her outstretched hand

"I feel like ever since you joined this group you always seem to get the final hit in."

"That's girl power Wheeler, get used to it." She replied confidently, turning to face a now laughing Eddie, the only person allowed to use his town-given label affectionately "Speaking of, Freak, when you are getting your girlfriend to join in? It'd be nice to have a little more representation of my fine gender."

He heard Gareth scoff beside him, still in disbelief at yours and Eddie's relationship despite all evidence to the contrary, convinced Eddie had just been playing an elaborate game with him since that first night at the Hideout.

"That's a nice thought Sinclair, but I don't think Dungeons and Dragons is really her thing." Eddie dismissed, feeling a bit embarrassed by the suggestion for a reason he couldn't quite put his finger on.

"Let me guess," Erica continued, one hand on her hip like Eddie was about to be dealt more damage than his precious game's monsters, "You've never even asked (y/n)?" Eddie faltered, defensive and unsure why he was suddenly the one being interrogated. "You know what Munson, i'll make you a bet."

"Erica, you've got to stop making bets on people's lives." Lucas sighed from across the room, only to get immediately shushed.

"I'll bet you ten american dollars that if you ask (y/n) if she wants to join the party, she'll say yes." Silence fell amongst the group, wondering if the quest cast Eddie's way would be a gauntlet he chose to accept.

"You're on Sinclair, let me know if you need something to break your piggy bank with ." He mocked, spitting out his answer before he could think about it enough to back out. But as Erica mimed shaking his hand across the table and the group started to pack up their things, a certain chill seemed to settle under his skin at the thought of broaching the topic with you.

---

"Eddie? Eddie. Eddie!" You repeated, starting to wave your hand an inch from his nose until finally he snapped out of his trance.

"Sorry, we're on question two right? I was just thinking about it." He quickly tried to recover, watching an unconvinced expression form across your face as you set the pen in your hand down amongst the books and papers scattered across your bedroom floor.

"We were on question two forty minutes ago. And you've been somewhere else all day." You leant forward across the floor, crawling closer to Eddie so you could kneel right in front of him, knees lightly meeting on his. "What are you actually thinking about Eddie?" You asked softly, trying to mask the concern in your voice as you placed your hands in his lap.

The truth was, from the moment Erica had mentioned you at D&D, Eddie had felt a mess. It should be a seemingly innocuous step in your relationship, your answer either way not bearing any weight on how you felt about Eddie. But Eddie knew it meant a lot more than that to him. There was a reason he hadn't wanted to bring up that important piece of his life with you; and the reason was fear.

Even though it was just a game, as soon as Eddie started running a dungeons and dragons club in second year of high school, people had turned it into so much more than that. It felt like every year his reputation grew yet again, the cruel names, the snide comments, the satanic rumours about him spreading until he felt like he couldn't even look Wayne in the eye for fear of what he'd heard about him, and even worse, what he believed. It felt like D&D was so intrinsically tied up in Eddie's bad reputation, in the things about him that made it impossible for him to fit in with everyone in Hawkins, that broaching the subject with you could only end in more ridicule, more scorn.

All day Eddie'd been haunted by the ghost of his life before you were in it. The constant taunting at school, the fear of what the rumour mill would churn out next, feeling like maybe he'd just never be enough for someone to want in the way he wanted them. And now, as you perched barely an inch away from him, empathy emanating from your eyes as you watched the gears turning his head, his sullen expression setting your own mind racing, Eddie felt like he was about to open a gate in Hawkins you'd finally choose to exit through, leaving him behind and alone again.

"It's nothing, I was just wondering," he readied himself, taking a deep breath to try and steady the imminent cracking in his voice, knowing if he let fear win out in this moment it's one he'd always regret. And he knew, deep under all that worry, that if there was anyone he could stop feeling scared around, it was you,

"Would you ever want to play D&D with me and Hellfire club?" He let the question hang in the air, watching a confused frown form across your brow and bracing himself for the haunting rejection that was about to come.

You could feel your face portray how lost you were by his request, unsure how something that made him so happy would make him so uncomfortable to talk about. Was he worried you'd ruin it for him and the group, because you didn't know all the rules? Did he feel like he just had to invite you as his girlfriend? As the second of silence passed you watched the depth behind his intensely dark eyes drift from discomfort to genuine sadness, finally understanding what this exchange meant to him. He wasn't worried you'd say yes, he was terrified you'd say no, and call him a freak like the others. He was scared to let you into a part of his life that so many mocked, worried even asking would change how you felt about him.

And so you let the widest smile you could muster break out across your cheeks, letting out a happy chuckle as you asked excitedly,

"Can I really? Are you sure that would be okay!" You practically bounced as you drew yourself up on your knees, watching Eddie's apprehensive expression, still waiting for you to deliver a punchline at his expense.

"Yeah, of course, if you want to." He stumbled through the confirmation, watching with suspicion as you shifted position again, a relieved smile starting to cross his worried face as you settled onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling your chest tightly against his.

"Thank you Eddie! I'd love to." You held your position until you felt Eddie's arm finally react and begin to envelop you, vice-like in their encompassing hold, but leaving you just enough room to pull back to bring your face back in his view. He scanned it eagerly, looking for any signs of deceit or sarcasm, judgement or disgust, but just found the warm joy he'd still not grown accustomed to having so close.

"Really?" He found himself breathing out without thought, unconvinced of your answer to his request, but even more astounded by your existence in his life, the seemingly missing piece from his years of anguish.

"Really!" You replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, lips finding his in your excitement and feeling the undeniable response of a smile. "Can you give up on homework and start teaching me the game?" You asked happily, wondering quite what you had just signed yourself up for, but looking forward to seeing Eddie in his element nonetheless. Eddie stared back at you for a moment, heart bursting at the prospect of getting to talk you through something that meant so much to him, like another little piece of his being was revealed and you were accepting it with the same unending affection you had the rest of him. He let one hand loosen its hold on your waist, the other coiling round tightly to fill the void, while he brought his palm to the side of your face, bringing it back towards him again.

"Not yet." He said happily, excitable kiss landing on your lips as he pulled you tightly against him, intending to keep you firmly in his lap for the rest of the afternoon if he could help it. He could let go of his fear and his ghosts, as long as he didn't have to let go of you.

---

That week Eddie found himself setting up for Hellfire even earlier than usual, nervous for your first experience of the game, but excited that it meant he'd have you perched beside him all night. You agreed to just watch the session that afternoon, still trying to get your head around the basic mechanics of the game and wanting to see how it all worked in practice before jumping in yourself. The party were set to arrive at 5:30, and by 5pm Eddie had laid out all his props, carefully hiding key figurines behind his dungeon master's screen and watching you carefully rotate each one in your hands as you examined it closely from your chair beside his throne. It had taken a bit of convincing that you did in fact need your own chair for the evening, Eddie campaigning whole-heartedly for you to just spend the session observing from his lap, cocky smile creeping across his lips as he threw glances to the clock above the door periodically,

"If you insist on sitting over there for the game, you could at least do me the honour of joining me on my throne before everyone else gets here." He uncrossed his legs and patted the top of his thighs, feeling more in his element settled in his master's chair than he thought he would around you. Eddie wore confidence well, his eyes glowing darker as you obliged his request, lifting slowly from your seat to straddle his lap, fingers weaving through his hair as his hands found your hips,

"You can have me for ten minutes, then back to my chair, I don't want to scar any of your freshman," You flirted, Eddie nodded slightly in agreement before his lips landed on yours, wasting no time and knowing it wasn't a freshman he was hoping to scar. His chest pressed into yours as his thumbs rubbed warm circles in the soft skin of your thighs, taking your content hum as an opportunity to pass his tongue through your lips. Caught up in the intoxicating taste of Eddie you always missed the smile flashing against your lips as you heard the room's double doors creak open behind you.

"Eddie, why'd you...AH!" A confused voice called behind you, before falling into awkward silence as you climbed off Eddie lap, noticing his reluctance to loosen his grip on you.

"Gareth, you're early." Eddie feigned surprise, knowing full well he had given him the wrong time, basking in the baffled look on his face at your position by Eddie's side. "I don't think you two have properly met you, Gareth this is my girlfriend (y/n)." The word girlfriend was loaded with emphasis, the set up quickly becoming clear to you, even if the motive remained a mystery,

"Nice to meet you Gareth." You offered with a small wave, trying to remember anything beyond climbing on Eddie's lap. "I hope you don't mind, Eddie said I could sit in on Hellfire today so I can see how this all works for when I wanna play."

"Eddie said you could sit in? You want to play Dungeons and Dragons?" Scepticism still clear in his voice as Eddie draped his arm over you, less than subtlely planting a kiss to your template as you returned to your separate seats.

"Yeah one day! Why don't you tell me about your character?" You asked as Gareth began pulling sheets of paper out of a notebook, still unsure if this was an elaborate set up from Eddie, rather than admitting to a lie. As he began to tell you the details, you were sure out of the corner of your eye you could see Eddie stick out his tongue at Gareth from beside you, beaming with confidence in your company. Even if you didn't end up enjoying the game tonight, you could tell you were going to really enjoy the confident, funny, and somehow sexier than usual dungeon master Eddie.

Eddie watched the scene playout with glee, ecstatic that his friend was going to have to stop being surprised at every mention of your name now. However as sweet as the vindicating feeling was, he could only consider it his second favourite Hellfire interaction of the week.

---

Two Days Earlier:

It was no wonder Erica walked through the halls of her middle school like she owned the place, crowd of friends swarming her side, drawn to her confidence and unwavering loyalty to herself and those she deemed worthy of her friendship. That Tuesday was no different, pausing while one of her assorted besties exchanged books from their locker, Erica monologuing fluently about 'it being absolute bullshit if she doesn't get made captain of the debate team this year.'

"Erica, sorry to interrupt but I think that guy is looking at you?" One of her friends stopped her, pointing to the figure coming down the corridor and beginning a wave of giggles from the squad around her.

"What the freak?" Erica sighed out in disbelief as she recognised the figure of Eddie Munson towering over the kids in her middle school, walking confidently through the halls, clutching a cupcake in one hand as he scanned the shapes below him. As broadly as his reputation seemed to have spread around Hawkins, it didn't seem like any of the middle school girls knew Eddie as a freak, any older boy approaching Erica enough to send a few excitedly scurrying off to begin stirring up the rumour mill.

"Sinclair!" Eddie called out as he finally laid eyes on his target, ignoring the look of borderline outrage she gave him as he stomped over, oblivious to the stares of the kids around him.

"What are you doing here Munson? Even you can't be repeating this many years." Erica delivered the line suspiciously, the kind of comment that would have stung from anyone else, but from Erica only drew a wry laugh from Eddie.

"Not quite Lady Applejack, I come with an offering." He fumbled in his pocket for a second before pulling out a ten dollar note, extending it to the frowning middle schooler before her patience with him expired completely. "You won the bet, so this is for you. And this is for you as well." He continued, revealing the cupcake resting on his outstretched palm, "Just as a thank you." His performative tone dipped into sincerity as the sentence came to an end, Erica letting herself exchange a real smile with Eddie, happy for her friend and her just desserts.

"You're welcome. And you should never doubt me again." She said, nodding seriously as she took a bit of the well-earned treat. She tilted her head as she chewed, eyes widening at Eddie, "Was there something else?" Eddie laughed, genuinely a bit intimidated by the girl that barely reached hip height on him, and bowed as he stepped away.

"That's it, enjoy the spoils of your victory!" And with that he bounded back down the corridor, conscious to get through the exit before any of his old teachers saw him and realised he still had homework due.

"Who was that!" A chorus of girls whispered as they formed around Erica again, her surprise visitor sure to be the talk of all her afternoon classes.

"Just a senior who needed my advice with something." Erica remarked nonchalantly, taking another bite of her cupcake before setting back off to class. Owning middle school was easy.

You Are In Love taglist:

@lacrymosa-24 @aftermidnightwriting @fluttergirl1202 @tayhar811 @souls-rain @neewtmas @kimmi-kat @wintrrrsoldier @dylanmunson @sidthedollface2

@eddiemunson95 @mistiatmosphere @singularattitudeofasafetypin @omgsquee2001

[westiec]

June 17: Chengxian 💜🖤💕

childhood friends to lovers/QPPs, ace Jiang Cheng, bi & aro Wei Wuxian, modern AU

(A/N: If you're wondering about a certain other someone, he will have a wonderful, full life of his own in Suzhou in this AU but is not in this story. 💙 There are some brief mentions of offscreen ace-antagonism, not by anyone we know.)

Read on ao3

Jiang Cheng had been Wei Ying's best friend in the whole world for his entire life.

Okay. Well, not quite his entire life, but certainly since Wei Ying’s parents moved to California when he was little little, which was about as far back as Wei Ying could remember anyway. Wei Ying’s baba and Jiang Cheng’s baba had grown up in Wuhan together and been best friends when they were kids, so naturally, when Wei Ying’s family moved into the same neighborhood as the Jiangs, it made perfect sense for Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng to become best friends too.

It was Jiang Cheng who had taught Wei Ying that he didn't have to be afraid of dogs, by introducing him to Princess, Jasmine, and Lil' Love. Lil' Love lived up to her name, coming and quietly sitting in all her fluffy glory on Wei Ying’s lap every time he went over to play.

It was also Jiang Cheng who Wei Ying got drunk with for the first time. They snuck booze from the cabinet where Wei Ying’s parents kept it and laughed at the faces each other made with every shot until they stopped tasting the harsh burn, and then laughing more just because.

(Wei Ying’s mom had not laughed, not at the time, when the two teens had been sick as anything the next morning, but instead made them a gloriously greasy late breakfast and gave them lots of advice about proper hydration.

Then she told Jiang Cheng’s mom and let her scold them.)

It was Jiang Cheng who came out first, their first semester in college, when he told Wei Ying he didn't think he wanted to have sex with anyone, ever, and asked if Wei Ying thought that meant no one would ever want to date him. Wei Ying hugged him tight and told him he didn't know about everyone out there, but he knew Jiang Cheng was the best guy in the world and would be an awesome boyfriend, and he'd fight anyone who said differently.

Jiang Cheng found a group on campus for third culture LBGT kids, and Wei Ying went with him, as a supportive ally.

Which was how Wei Ying figured out that he was not just a supportive ally.

In listening to the others talk about orientation and identity and attraction and cultural expectations, Wei Ying realized that what he'd always assumed was normal—finding all kinds of people physically attractive, regardless of their gender—was actually his bisexuality. So that was kind of cool.

"So yeah, now we can be queer together!" Wei Ying said, when he excitedly shared his newfound realization with Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng snorted. "Yeah, 'all' and 'nothing,'" he joked.

It was Jiang Cheng who'd helped him practice what to say to his parents when he wanted to change his major at the end of sophomore year, and Jiang Cheng who reminded him to eat and sleep and "take a fucking break, Wei Ying," those next couple semesters when he took way too many hours so he wouldn't have to rack up a whole extra year's worth of student loans to finish his new degree plan.

It was Jiang Cheng who graduated first, on a gorgeous blue-skyed sunny day in May, and Jiang Cheng who suggested Wei Ying keep living with him at his new apartment, so he wouldn't have to try to find a one-semester lease until he finished in December.

(They renewed the lease together every time.)

Jiang Cheng ribbed him playfully each time Wei Ying met someone new, but he was always there each times things fizzled out after a few months for reasons that never quite made sense to Wei Ying.

Jiang Cheng occasionally dated too, and Wei Ying was glad he never did have to fight anybody—though he did drive Jiang Cheng to the emergency room the time he came home with split knuckles from punching a guy who, "seemed to think I didn't know my own mind about certain things."

But dating sucked for everybody, right? It wasn't like Wei Ying or Jiang Cheng were in any hurry to settle down and do the whole spouse and kids thing or whatever. Wei Ying tried to imagine it and just... couldn't, though the image of Jiang Cheng with a baby was admittedly pretty cute.

~

It was not Jiang Cheng, but Jiang Yanli, a few months after she proposed to her girlfriend and they started planning their wedding, who Wei Ying finally asked, "Yanli-jie, how does a person decide someone else is their person?"

Jiang Yanli looked across the room to where Jiang Cheng was showing her soon-to-be-wife how to put side spin on a billiards ball and smiled. "I think you just know," she said. "You meet someone and you get to know them, spend time together, then one day you realize you love them and want to build the rest of your life with them."

Wei Ying wrinkled his nose. "I dunno if it works that way for me. Just some random person? I've never met anyone I can imagine wanting to live with all the time. Well, besides—huh..." he cut off suddenly and darted a look over at Jiang Yanli, who just calmly sipped her drink.

"Have you ever told him that?" she asked, after a moment where Wei Ying reassessed his entire life and dating history. "I think he might appreciate hearing it."

"I... huh. Yanli-jie, you're kinda blowing my mind here," he complained.

"I gathered," she said wryly, before fixing him with a smile that made all the hair on the back of his neck stand up. "Of course, I trust," she told him, "that I do not need to explain to you of all people how very dearly I hold my didi's happiness and well-being."

He swallowed and raised three fingers in the salute he'd used ever since the summer that—hah—he and Jiang Cheng had decided as kids that they would make their own oath of brotherhood like the heroes of their favorite show. "I, Wei Ying, swear to you that I would kick my own ass before I did anything to hurt him."

Jiang Yanli leaned over to knock her shoulder against his and nodded. "That's what I thought."

~

Turned out, dating Jiang Cheng didn't suck at all.

It felt easy in a way Wei Ying’s past dates never had, less like trying to keep up with a game whose rules everybody knew except him, more like... well, like spending time with his best friend in the whole world, but on purpose. There was also a tension in the back of Wei Ying’s mind that seemed to have lifted, though he couldn't quite pinpoint what it was that had gone.

It was Jiang Cheng who helped him figure it out.

"I think it's that now I'm able to count on this. On us," he said, when Wei Ying brought it up. "Before, whenever you went out with someone new, I wondered if this would be the time you'd find someone to fall in love with and leave me behind."

"Aww, Chengcheng! I would never!"

Jiang Cheng huffed and rolled his eyes, but his cheeks were pink. "Well, I know that now," he said, a pleased little smile breaking through his attempts at a scowl.

"As long as you're sure—" Wei Ying began, still getting used to thinking about himself with the word "aromantic." Still a so very sure that Jiang Cheng deserved to be fallen in love with.

"Hey!" Jiang Cheng cut him off. "None of that. I know you. And I know you don't see it this way, but I personally think it's pretty damn romantic that you choose to love me, on purpose."

"I simply have exquisite taste in life partners," Wei Ying sniffed, embarassed the way he always got when Jiang Cheng declared something he'd done "romantic."

"You do," Jiang Cheng agreed. "Someone told me a long time ago I was the best guy in the world and would make an awesome boyfriend, and that he would fight anyone who said differently."

Wei Ying laughed. "That's you and your sister I've promised to kick my own ass if I ever break your heart, then. Guess I'll just have to keep you forever."

"Damn right, you will," Jiang Cheng agreed, grinning smug and happy and breathtakingly beautiful. Wei Ying leaned across the couch to give him a sweet, closed-mouth kiss—the kind Jiang Cheng had shyly admitted he actually did like, a lot—and smiled too, at how lucky he'd gotten to be with his best friend in the whole world for his entire life.

🖤💜

Today's (extremely long!) thread was inspired by this WONDERFUL art of ace Jiang Cheng and bi & aro Wei Ying! Go give Midori some love on Twitter!

I spent a nonzero amount of time googling to double check when various terms and flags came into vogue, so if you're wondering, WWX & JC were in college in the early 2000s, before the ace and aro flags were designed. By the time they get themselves figured out, they can get their cute wristbands.

...which, yes, means these dingdongs spent about a solid decade living together before realizing that was what they wanted to do forever. ��

This also means Jiang Yanli and her unnamed wife here are getting married between when California started recognizing same-sex marriages in 2008 and the Obergefell v. Hodges ruling in 2015! THIS SHIT'S RECENT!!!

Happy Pride, thank you for reading, check out more LGBTQIA+ sweetness on my #PrideMonthSnippets Masterpost!

[mm2305]

All That Matters

Characters/pairings :  Ethan Ramsey & Olivia Valentine

Words/Genre :   2.8 K / Angst , Romance

Warnings : mentions of death,injuries

Summary : Olivia gets seriously injured. How does Ethan react?

A/N : Hello again! This fic was written per @groovypalacehorselover​ ‘s request. This is the first time I’m attempting to write angst , so I hope this comes out good enough. A big THANK YOU to @romewritingshop​ for her help in editing this. Moodboard inspired by @potionsprefect 's ones.

Disclaimer : all characters and pictures belong to the rightful owners

My Masterlist

Enjoy!

------------------------------

Ethan was frantically rushing through the hospital corridors. Dread and anxiety flooded his mind that he could barely breathe. There was no way he would allow it to stall him. Pushing himself to go as fast as he could to get to the farthest wing of the hospital, he slammed the double doors ahead open.A group of interns were nattering amongst themselves,oblivious to the frantic attending approaching them. A thundering voice broke them out of their trance. 

"OUT OF MY WAY!", he boomed at them, as he was approaching closer. 

The interns, startled by him, broke apart allowing him to pass through them. What made them wonder though, was the clear, unadulterated emotion in his eyes. He looked as though his world was slowly crumbling around him. And they weren't wrong. 

2 Hours Earlier

Olivia was finishing up her rounds for the day. In a few hours she’d be home, snuggled with her favorite throw blanket, watching a movie on Netflix while Ethan would complain incessantly  about her taste in movies. She had to visit her last patient, a sweet seven year old boy named Nathan. 

His diagnosis was a difficult case to solve and this made young Nathan restless. His mom came to stay with him in the evening  but she had to go to work early in the morning. The poor boy was often bored out of his mind, taking adventurous strolls through the hospital, without telling anyone. There were several instances  that she and a few nurses had to track him down, but still Nathan continued doing that. She couldn’t really blame the poor kid. Today was just one of those days. 

Olivia walked to the nurses' desk, to ask about Nathan. 

"Hello Sarah, did you happen to see Nathan? I think he snuck  out of his room again." 

"Dr Valentine! No, I haven't. Maybe you should ask Mary. She might have an idea where Nathan is.", The nurse replied with a soft smile. 

"Okay, thank you!"

She left the reception in search of Mary. Before long, she found her in one of the halls. 

"Hi Mary, I was wondering if you've seen Nathan?", She inquired politely. 

"Dr Valentine! I was just looking for you. I think I saw the kid heading towards the halls leading to the new wing." 

"The new wing? Isn't that under construction?", Olivia asked, an audible tremor in her voice. 

"Yes?" 

"Oh God! Come on! We need to find him now!", she said, a feeling of worry and dread filling her. The new wing Bloom designed was essentially a plan to enlarge the facilities available for research. From what she heard, it wasn't safe to roam around the place without any safety gear. It was too dangerous to go there, especially for a young boy like Nathan, but she won’t let him fall to harm. 

After a few minutes of darting around and asking everyone they encountered, Mary and Olivia got the same response. They saw a kid among these halls at some point. By the time they reached the site, Olivia and Mary began calling for him. 

"Nathan? Are you here?" 

"Nathan? Nathan come here, it's me, Dr Olivia" 

No answer. Either he wasn't here or he just couldn't hear them clearly. The two women began to slow down their pacing steps as they carefully tread through the congested building site, all while calling for the young boy. 

"Dr Oliv?", They heard a small shaky voice calling. 

Olivia knew it was him and rushed towards the direction of the voice. Mary, hot on her heels, noticed him first. 

"He's there!", She exclaimed, running to his side and checking over him for any injuries. 

Olivia began walking towards them, relieved that Nathan was okay,when she heard a cracking noise. She quickly realized that the wall, they were close to, was about to collapse! With a sudden burst of adrenaline, she rushed towards them and pushed them away from the wall. She smiled softly at them before she heard a bigger *crack* and everything went black. 

-----------------------------------

MEANWHILE

Ethan was sitting at his computer, in his office, looking through files and updating the information onto his computer. Truth be told though, he was too distracted by a certain resident to concentrate on his current task. 

Him and Olivia have been together for a little more than three months and he was happier than he had been in a long time. She really had the power to turn the worst of days better with just a smile. 

She started coming to his house after work, in fact it’s almost like she had permanent residence in his heart and place. She spent most of the time there with him, just being together. Cooking, watching tv, playing ridiculous board games she always won. It was all very domestic and Ethan always felt his heart swell with love for her, at how at ease she felt being with him, in the place he now considered a home. 

Glancing at the clock, he realised their shifts would end soon but he was too impatient. With a soft sigh, he turned off his computer and walked out of his office ,towards the front desk. 

"Good afternoon, have you seen Dr. Valentine?", he asked a nurse he knew she frequently talked to. 

"Dr. Ramsey! Yes, she was here a little while ago, she was looking for her young patient, Nathan. He has a habit of sneaking out of his room, you see - Wait a minute please!", she paused to answer the phone. 

"Bloom Edenbrook Hospital how can I help you? Mary? What?! I’m sending the team right away!" 

The woman, Sarah, turned to Ethan with a flurry of panic coursing in her eyes. 

"Dr Ramsey, it was the nurse who was with Dr Valentine. They found the boy at the construction site! When they reached for him… a nearby wall collapsed on them!" 

"What!? Oh my… No no no… Wh-What else did she tell you? Tell me!", he demanded, his eyes glossed with panic, the usual pink hue of his face drained as he turned as white as a sheet, his breathing in short stuttered gasps. 

"Olivia ... was hit worst." Sarah whispered on the verge of tears. 

"Page Mirani, Delarosa and the best nurses this damn hospital has! Understood! I'm going there now!"

Before she had a chance to reply, he was already off in search of his Olivia. 

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PRESENT TIME

Ethan continued running through the maze of corridors, his eyes full of unshed tears. 

"Not her, please not her! Don't take her from me! Please!", Ethan wasn't by any means a religious man, but the fear of losing the woman he loved made him pray to whoever could hear his agonized thoughts. The one person on this earth for whom he would give anything for, was again in grave danger. Memories from the last time she was at the brink of death flooded his mind, knocking the breath out of his lungs. How fragile she looked and to know he couldn't do anything to save her, other than watch her become progressively weaker and her radiant smile, the one that could lighten up a whole room, fade away. "No, don't do this right now Ethan. Focus on her. Only her.", he thought, nodding to himself while pushing the last hurdle of doors open. His eyes quickly scanned the room, trying to locate her. 

He finally saw her. 

She was lying on the floor pieces of rubble around her. She was unconscious, her eyes closed, her golden hair around her face.  As he rushed to her side, whilst avoiding the scattered materials, he saw a small patch of blood on the side of her head. 

He knelt beside her, being careful not to move her, in fear of causing more damage to her body. He took her small, still warm, hand in his and softly began to stroke her cheek and hair. 

"Darling? Olivia? It's me, Ethan. Please Olivia, can you hear me?", his voice wavered at the sight of her blood on his fingers from stroking her hair and a few tears were finally breaking through. 

Her eyes fluttered as a soft little gasp left her lips. 

"E-Ethan?", she whispered, her voice hoarse and barely audible. 

"Yes, Love it's me."

"I… it hurts.. I can't…", she croaked but it was too difficult for her to breathe properly, the dust hovering in the air wasn'tmaking this any easier. Ethan noticed this and pushed her head slightly back, to allow her to breathe better. 

"Shh darling I know… I'm here love, I'm not going anywhere...Please sweetheart don't give up on me… please…I can't lose you", Ethan whispered, stroking her cheek softly, trying to be strong for her. 

Olivia fell unconscious once again, her chest taking short ragged breaths. He pried his eyes away from her to look around the room. A woman was in the corner with a crying child in her arms, trying to comfort him. 

" Hi… Are you okay? Did you get hurt?" he asked them as he approached them. 

"Nothing too bad. Might just be a sprained wrist and a couple of scratches. Nathan’s fine too, just shocked. Dr. Valentine…. she … she got the worst of it.", she replied with tears in her eyes. 

Ethan didn't have a chance to reply as the team arrived. They immediately got down to work, not even hesitating to lose a minute, paying Ethan no attention. 

"Get her on the gurney carefully! One mistake and you're fired!" Zaid commanded, with a fiery stern voice at the team of nurses. 

"Zaid, she's got a cut on the side of her head and she's bleeding. I don't see anything too serious but we should order a scan. Shortness of breath indicates one or two fractured ribs and her left ulna and radius might be broken, given the swelling.", Ines said with evident concern and fear thick in her voice. 

"Let's get some scans and see exactly what's going on", Zaid replied, trying to be as calm as possible, in this case. Olivia was his colleague,but more importantly she was his friend and he wouldn't allow anything to happen to her. Not on his watch. 

"I'm coming with you!", Ethan interrupted their conversation. 

"You're not in the right state of mind to help her now!" 

"Zaid’s right about this. She needs you to be calm and focused when she wakes up.", Ines told him resting a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

Ethan had no choice but to reluctantly agree. 

--------------------------------------

Several hours later, Ethan was pacing anxiously in front of the room Olivia was checked into. The night doctors were there checking on her. As soon as they heard what happened, her friends joined Ethan in the waiting room, to hear news about her condition. Sienna when she saw her best friend in that state, immediately broke down, Aurora and Elijah trying to comfort her. Bryce, Rafael and Jackie, were mostly silent, their minds running through endless scenarios of what could happen to the most courageous woman they knew. 

She had a broken hand, three broken ribs; one of which was pressing too close to her lung; causing her difficulty in breathing smoothly. This required a minor surgery, which was conducted by Harper herself. She wouldn't let anyone else touch the woman she had come to consider a friend. Her head injury, thankfully, wasn't too bad, but there was a possibility of a mild concussion. The whole hospital was there to help Olivia in whatever way she needed. From nurses to interns to anyone she had always been kind to. 

Now, Ethan was waiting outside of her room alone, because her friends left a few minutes ago. She wouldn't wake up for a few hours and they made sure she would be completely okay before they left. Besides, they knew that Ethan wouldn't leave her side. That is, once he got to finally see her. 

Thirty agonizing minutes later, he was finally allowed to go into her room. His eyes glided across  her small form on the hospital bed. The side of her head was wrapped in white gauze, because of the injury there. Her left arm was in a cast and placed on a pillow to make her more comfortable. She was hooked to an IV, her body seeming too delicate on the hospital bed. Her face was in a serene slumber, her body was still under the influence of the drugs she was given during and after her surgery. 

Ethan took her soft hand in his, kissing her knuckles and looking tearfully at her. 

"My love… You scared me so so much… When that nurse told me you were hurt… I thought I was going to lose you. Again.", He started talking to her, even though she couldn't hear him, he was baring his heart to her. Letting the tears he was holding on to fall. 

"Finding you there, lying unconscious… was unbearable. Knowing that you may be gone forever, never being able to touch you, or see your beautiful smile, hear your awful jokes again… I’ve never believed in a higher power, but if there is a being that saved you, then I am grateful. Because, without you, none of this matters. You're my whole world Oliv. And this world means nothing to me if you’re not here darling", he finished , laying a soft kiss on her lips. 

He stayed with her for a few hours, having no intention of leaving her, but Naveen forced him to go get a coffee and something to eat. Of course, Naveen promised he would stay there with her while Ethan was away. 

On his way back to her room, he encountered Leland Bloom. "Great, just who I wanted to see", Ethan thought, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. 

"Ah Dr. Ramsey. I was just coming to find you. How is Dr. Valentine?", he asked with a facade of interest. 

"She’s in her room resting. Still unconscious though, because of the anesthesia from her surgery. Now if you'll excuse me", Ethan curtly replied, walking past Leland, anxious to return to her room. 

"I was hoping to come with you, actually. I wanted to ask you, will she make a full recovery?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but yes, in a couple months she will probably be alright.", Ethan gritted his teeth, retraining his seething anger at how intrusive this man could be. 

"Probably? You're not certain? If her recovery takes so long, then she will be left behind in the hospital's advances. Pity… she was actually going to be one of the key assets to the progression of the hospital's success.", Leland said, not having noticed or probably caring about Ethan's expression. 

Ethan couldn't believe what he was hearing. The way he spoke of Olivia. His Olivia. A human being, as though she was nothing but a tool to be used. He clenched his fists, blood coursing through his veins, ears ringing, face and neck flushed red with anger, trying to resist the immense urge to punch him square in his arrogant face. 

"How DARE you talk that way about a human being who was seriously hurt? She could have been fucking killed and all you have to say is that she would be an asset to the success of the hospital? What kind of person are you, really? Do you see anything beyond your own selfish, moronic advancements?", Ethan turned to him abruptly, almost roaring, all the pent up emotions escaping him in this outburst towards this man. 

Leland was stunned at his outburst, mouth gaping open for a second before he recollected himself. The two of them had become the center of attention as the nurses and doctors were forming a small circle, staring at the two men. 

"I would best advise you against speaking to me like that Dr. Ramsey. I'm the one who is in charge here and I expect you to treat me with respect. Now, I understand you are under pressure right now since your partner was hurt, so I'm willing to look past this little tantrum. See you soon, Dr Ramsey." he replied, walking away from Ethan, who was stalking his way down the corridor to Olivia’s room, unbothered by Bloom’s words. 

The only person in this world whose words mattered, laid in a hospital bed right now, and he vowed he would not spend any more precious time away from her. Because despite what life throws at them, all that matters is that his Rookie ... his Olivia ... his true love will be alright. They will be alright. Together.

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Thank you for reading !!!

[luvdsc]

Hey Cat!! I hope you're doing well as always ! 💖 AHHHH huhu I closed the form last Sunday since I've collected enough responses dy! (NOOOOOOOO ToT) I got a total of 221 responses at the end of the week, which is 3x the amount I initially needed! :o I'm beyond grateful and appreciative ToT I've cleaned the data and have proceeded to run some data analysis, but I ran into an issue whereby the scores on the subscales are equal (it has never been reported in past studies! :O) so I'm waiting for my supervisor's feedback on how to proceed. Hopefully it's nothing too serious ToT

Hehe finance is interesting indeed! I just started reading a book on finance for young adults (Rich Dad Poor Dad) and I look forward to learning more from the author's tips! The Coursera introductory course has also made financial terms a lil more familiar, even though it's just the basics and it's really helped w my financial literacy 🥺 I can push myself to study but it's also the numbers and calculations I'm worried of cuz I am rly a nong (idiot) when it comes to numbers * - * it runs in the genes I guess AHAHAHAHA my mom and sister aren't good at numbers either keke

Aww I'm glad yr professor made financial accounting enjoyable and a fruitful experience for you! Some lecturers / professors rly just have that spark in them to inspire ppl and I'm blessed to be surrounded by a bunch of em in the psych department!🥺😭 it truly makes a difference and I'm sure we both are living proofs of that!

After debating for a while, I've decided not to take a minor mainly because I'm so tired HAHAHAHAHAHA and I'll just do my own self-studying and exploration whilst working! Go out and explore the world, live life! Whilst ironically still staying in my room because of the COVID-19 situation in our country (cases are abt 20+k every day :') ) My proposal has been finalized and it's been accepted! It's just that some elements of my proposal is also part of my actual report, so I have some guidance to refer to in terms of structure! :3 and yes don't worry! I got plenty (sometimes a lil too much) rest during the sem break whilst remaining productive! Plus, I got to catch up w some friends and had game nights (maybe too much of game nights hehe) and movie nights w my friends which was truly refreshing! Also cuz I might not see a lot of them again after we graduate so we gotta cherish every moment 🥺😭

I'm a freelance graphic designer for my uni's newsletter! Occasionally, they'd ask us to create both the content and design! I'll place the link to my recent work below if you wanna check it out! UwU I'm trying to incorporate the same practices during sem break in my last sem (current sem) too! cuz yes mental health is so so important and I'm just tired of being academically tired you get me? :(

What makes me most trilled abt learning abt psychology is how to apply it in daily life too! I find it so fascinating and awestruck at how relatable and within reach these things are like wow we can be influenced in such ways?? :o can be both good and bad but imma stick w seeing it as the development and evolution of us humans UwU

Also, the vaccine has fixed my sleep schedule HEHE (another perk of getting vaccination :3) I got some rly good rest and managed to reset my usual sleeping time, thank you science ToT oooo I see I see, we've had cases of nurses injecting empty syringes hence the recording :( but GHIOGHWEOGIOHW I could never do that, I can feel the liquid entering me as it is so that's good enough ToT (* plays Love Talk * I can feel it coming)

OMG YOUR ART PIECES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL, ADORABLE AND ELEGANT! 💖🥺🥰 it must've required a lot of hard-work and effort AHHH thankiew for showing me yr work!! it's truly unique in its own manner despite it's simplicity UwU is there a reason or backstory to yr chosen theme and objects? :3

I just Googled Somi Somi and omg that's such an UwU ice cream AHHHH 💖🥺😭 ice cream is my fav food of all time and it looks like an ice cream haven omg imagine eating it after a loooong hard day's of work ToT and OMG THE SATISFACTION OF EATING THAI MILK TEA ICE CREAM ON A HOT DAY YASSS 😋🤤 hehe if you get the chance to try milk & biscoff, do try it! It's amazing !😍 and ooo i haven't tried alcoholic ice cream before but I will one day!! :3 my alcohol tolerance is rly low though, will I get tipsy over alcoholic ice cream? We shall see UwU (i can only drink half a bottle of apple cider before my face gets red and I start getting a lil tipsy + headache)

and lovie....knowing yr school schedule now...OURS IS DEFINTELY BRUTAL OMG a 3 month long sem break huhu that's only the total amount of sem breaks we get in a year ToT i thought uni was hard but not that hard ToT

Always glad and honored to have you onboard! and AHAHAHAH the contractions about to start soon 👀 I enjoy talking to you huhu you're such a sweet and supportive person 💖🥺🥰😙 huhu for my period cramps, I've been having them since I was 12 ToT my doctor prescribed me some panadols but sometimes I can't even swallow them cuz I'd puke them out ToT I've settled w heatpacks to reduce my reliance on medicine, but I finally got some upgraded and safe to eat medicine from my gynae! She said it's fine to take it every month to keep my womb healthy and apparently my ms. lil uterus is suffering from inflammation, hence the super crazy bedridden cramps :( the upgraded medicine worked for a while, but after time it kinda didn't help either :/ but I realised that exercise rly does wonders to reduce the cramp too (gynae also recommended exercising) so i take walks and do my back stretches more frequently now! my period in the previous months (2 months ago) have been almost painless and bearable, it's so weird not seeing my bedridden ._. when I was in high school, there would always be a day in every month in which I don't attend classes, and that's solely because of my cramps. It just isn't worth suffering in school, plus we don't have a sick room :/ I hope the pain continues to subside! ToT

And ayy internship is also working experience, yr advice would be of great help to me regardless! 🥺 oh yes, I always remind myself that interviews are similar to the speaking test I took for my Cambridge English exams! That kinda help calm my nerves down a lil, but w nerves comes bigger smiles, so I guess it takes on a rather practical form of coping mechanism (sublimation) AHAHAHAHA

WAAAA WHAT A QUEEN you got an offer from every interview?? I aspire to be like you! 💖🥺🥰 huhu skill wise I believe I have lots to prepare esp in terms of case studies, and I perform rly poorly on certain assessments (*ehem * esp those concerning numbers) so I took the chance to study a lil during sem break too ToT but noted on that! I will work on that too and try to maintain that me element in interviews and overall just be myself keke

That's all from me for now! Imma wait for my supervisor's feedback and journey on w my last semester. Bon voyage! Link to my recent work: https://www.instagram.com/p/CTBqGzjr6sN/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link Other works: https://www.instagram.com/p/CPpv-IyM7Gi/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CL55EG-MbL2/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

hi hello honey bee !!! 💓 omg i'm so sorry for the belated response, i finally got on my laptop 😭 i'm gonna put my response under the cut since it got a little long 🤧

omg 221 responses !!!!! that's so many 🙀 congratulations aaaaa it's amazing that you were able to get 3x the data you needed !!! was it difficult to run data analysis? were you able to solve the issue with the equal scores on the subscales? i hope it didn't create too much additional work for you ):

omg yes finance is really interesting! i enjoyed the classes i took for it :') how is rich dad poor dad? did you learn a lot from it? i know it was a book my prof recommended, but i never got around to reading it 😶 did you learn any helpful tips? and ooo i'll have to look into coursera! yeah, there's quite a lot of terms for finance, and it can be a little intimidating paired with all the math formulas and such, but it's pretty useful imo! how are your financial studies going so far? 💕 omg nong is such a cute word?? i would never think it meant idiot asdkfhlkajsdf omg my whole family is good at numbers and really like math, but i didn't like it 😭 my mom made me study it a lot everyday though rip are the financial calculations getting easier for you as you practice more hopefully?

yessss omg i absolutely agree with this!!!! like you can just feel when a professor loves to teach and is genuinely so excited to talk about their subject, and it just makes the most boring horrible subject into something you learn to enjoy and hate less :') and i'm really happy to hear you have tons of professors like that in the psych department 🥺💗

that's great to hear!!!! 🌷🌷 i'm glad that you're prioritizing yourself and your health, which is so much more important than taking on a minor. what fun subjects have you decided to explore and self study so far? 💞 oh my gosh, the rising cases are so high?? i hope it's gotten better there for you ): are you able to go outside yet?

big congratulations on your proposal being finalized and accepted, lovebug !!!! 🥳🥳 i'm very proud of you and hoping one day i can read your published studies in a scientific journal :') aaaa i'm so glad to hear that you got to rest and enjoy your time with your friends!! i definitely feel that omg i regret all the times i skipped out on movie nights or game nights with my friends because now we're all scattered across the country and the only way we can have them again is over zoom calls 🤧

I SAW YOUR DESIGNS AND THEY'RE GORGEOUS OMG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH !!!! 💖 I'M IN AWE AAAA IF PSYCH DOESN'T WORK OUT, I HOPE YOU BECOME A GRAPHIC DESIGNER 🤩🤩💖 and yes i totally get it ): i really felt the academic burn out when i was in college and it was really difficult at times 🤧 but i hope it's going better for you nowadays, sweetpea 💝💝

omg yeah i absolutely agree !!!! whenever i read about psychology, i keep it in the back of my mind and then when i see something irl that relates to it, i'm like :O amazing. it's so cool to learn about different psych tricks too and see how it works when you test them out yourself and whatnot. and it's really crazy to see how the human brain is so easily influenced at times ??? it truly is an amazing subject !!!

ah what a great side benefit of the vaccine - a better sleep schedule 🤩 i'm happy to hear that your schedule has been fixed 💘 and omg what ??? they're injecting empty syringes wth ????? 😭 that's absolutely horrible, are they getting sued?? lmaooooo that love talk reference askdfhlaksjd

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR KIND COMPLIMENTS 😭😭💗💗 there were many late hours spent in the art studio to finish them, but i'm really happy with the end products :') i thought light bulbs are an interesting subject to do, and my prof said that cutting out circular objects or sculpting them is the most difficult since they're made up curves and not straight lines and i was like ok bet i'm gonna do it aND I'M SO GLAD I DID BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE THEM 🥺 and i love honey bees !!! that's why i decided to paint them and we were supposed to paint them in a combined style of two artists so i tried monet's impressionist style with the short brush strokes and pop art triptych style like marjorie strider 💕

somi somi is sooo good and i just had it again a couple weeks ago :') omg ice cream is your favorite food? :o and YES ice cream is so satisfying after a long day of hard work, like it's such a nice reward to look forward to at the end of day ✨ aaaaa i have to try thai milk tea ice cream one day now !!!!! it sounds amazing 🤩 and YES i must look for places that sell milk & biscoff ice cream !! i have milk ice cream from somi somi, but i need to try to combined flavors 💘 i don't think you'll get tipsy over it !!! it's a really faint taste of alcohol, like i didn't even notice it at first, and i don't think they put very much of it in there! aksljdfhals omg you're a lightweight :o at least that means you save money on alcohol LOL i need like nine shots to get drunk 🤧

your school is too hard 😭 you need more than just 3 months of break !!! 😡 we get a week off for thanksgiving in fall semester and a week off for spring break in spring semester too and then the month long winter break and three month summer break. and we have the one day holidays off too like labor day, memorial day, etc. i can't believe they give you so little time off after working so hard???

asdfhlkajshdlksja loool are the contractions over yet? has it been born? what's the current status, doctor? 👀 i really enjoy talking to you too !!! i'm very sorry for the late responses, work is really taking over all of my time, and i never have enough time to get on my laptop to reply to my asks 😭 and thank you for saying such kind things about me 🥺🥺💝 oh my gosh, i'm so sorry to hear that you have such terrible cramps 😭 i can't even imagine going through that - mine are nowhere near as horrible 😖 do the heatpads help a lot? i'm relieved to hear that you were prescribed better medication though! but yeah, your body does eventually get used to the medication and you have to continue taking stronger meds for it to work, but that's not a very healthy solution /: but i'm really glad to hear that exercise has been helping out a lot!! 💖 hurray for almost painless and bearable periods 🥳 i'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that in high school ): that sounds absolutely horrible 😭 periods are just awful, but it's like i'm grateful that i have my period because that means i'm not pregnant, but also please go away aslkhdfaklsj

omg what was the speaking test for the cambridge english exams like? :o it sounds so formal and a lil intimidating askdjfhalsd do you know of any psych tricks that can possibly help calm your nerves? :')

aaaa yes i did !! i was really surprised that i got an offer from them all because at the time, i was not in the right major and i think i was one of the most underqualified applicants 🤧 one person who interviewed me asked why i withdrew from my engr physics class and i explained it in a kinda funny way but in my head, i was like "oof i'm not gonna get this offer anymore" but then he laughed at my response and told me about how his prof told him he should drop a guitar class he was taking because he was doing very poorly and we bonded over that aklsjdhfkals omg how do interviews for psych jobs go? do you have to discuss a lot of case studies? do they give you a list of possible case studies they'll ask about? :o what sort of assessments do you have to do? good luck on all of your interviews, honey bee 💛 i'm rooting for you, you're gonna do amazing !!!! 💘

omg what did your supervisor say about your case study? and how is your last semester going? are you almost done now? 🌸 (also how have you been? what have you been up to? thank you for taking the time to leave such detailed messages for me, i'm really excited to see all the fun updates in your life, lovebug 🌷🌷)