#If you would like to repent.
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If you have not accepted Jesus Christ into your life and would like to do so, please read this salvation prayer. Before your life can truly change it is important that you freely accept him as your lord and Savior.
Salvation Prayer
Dear Lord,
I admit that I am a sinner and have done many things that do not please you. I admit that I have lived my life only for myself and I am sorry. Please forgive me. I believe that you died on the cross for me to save me and that you rose on the third day. You did what I could not do for myself. I come to you now and ask you to take complete control over my life. Every area of my life that is not pleasing to your name please change and correct. From this day forward help me to live everyday for you, and in a way that pleases you. I love you Lord and I thank you that I will spend eternity with you. Lastly I would like to ask you to send your Holy Spirit to live and reside in me and to help me along the way.
In Jesus Name.
Remember you should be repenting daily. All repenting means is to change your mind and turn, so If you find yourself acting in sin get in the habit of repenting
Self Deliverance Prayer- Excerpt from the book Armed and Dangerous by ex Satanist John Ramirez. Note you should have paper towels, or a garbage can near by. Some spirits leave the body by burping, vomiting or spitting up
As you pray this prayer you will be canceling the LEGAL rights that the enemy has against you, and all the satanic agreements that you’ve made whether consciously or unconsciously
When you sense demonic activity in your life, refer back to this prayer (this has helped me so much)
Self Deliverance Prayer
1. I renounce all agreements that I have made with Satan and his demons, in the name of Jesus
2. I renounce and reject any satantic offerings that I have ever made, in the name of Jesus
3. I renounce lust, perversion, pornography, immorality, and every unclean spirit that I have made a pact with in the name of Jesus
4. I renounce and rebuke all witchcraft, occult practices, divination, and sorcery that I have ever made in Jesus name
5. I break all ungodly soul ties in any relationship in my life in the name of Jesus
6. I renounce and uproot out of my heart hatred, anger, resentment, lack of forgiveness, bitterness and envy. Release me now in Jesus name
7. I renounce and uproot from my life every addiction, every demonic pharmakeia spirit that has me bound [this pertains to the abuse of prescription drugs or illegal drugs such as marijuana, heroice, cocaine, meth, etc Name the drug that has you bound and break it in the name of Jesus.] I destroy these attacks in the name of Jesus
8. I renounce from my life today jealousy, pride, self righteousness and egotism. Cme out of me now, in the name of Jesus
9. I renounce fear, doubt and unbelief and every tormenting spirit. Come out of me now, in the name of Jesus
10. I renounce all ungodly generational covenants that my family members on my father’s side, my mother’s side and my ancestors going back ten generations have made. Let them be broken in Jesus’ name
11. I renounce any allegiances to the kingdom of darkness and Satan in Jesus name.
12. I renounce and uproot every demonic word that I have spoken and given the devil legal rights over my life. Be broken, in Jesus name
13. I renounce any spirit husband or spirit wife or any demonic spiritual divorce papers that have come into my life in my dreams. Destroy them all in Jesus name
14. I uproot out of my life all sickness, depression, and oppression trying to operate in my life. Be destroyed, in the name of Jesus
15. I curse at the root, every fals word of prophecy spoken over my life, my family, my marriage, my children, and my ministry and business in Jesus name
16. I destroy all demonic activity and every demonic thought that has been opened in my life. I shut them down in the name of Jesus Christ
17. I break off of me, in Jesus name, any residue of any demonic kind
18. I break off any backlash, any retaliation, and transfer of spirits that is trying to come against my family, my loved ones, and my finances, in the name of Jesus
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Frame redraw! Salim saving Jason from the spear.
(only one of many times these two save each other)
https://ko-fi.com/rhysuje
#house of ashes#jalim#jason kolchek#salim othman#dark pictures anthology#the sword and the shield#art#hello HoA fandom I might be coming up with more#it's a freecam angle but it was so pixelated i had to draw over it#also that spear hits different#i mean for a death#it feels so bad with this one because Jason comes back to save Salim which is already redeeming#and if he gets speared it's like this poetic justice he would see fit to repent for his crimes#but it's like honey no#you don't deserve death it's your demons talking#so that's why Salim saving him here feels especially strong for me#because he's going against that negative justice and Jason's negative believes#i mean if this was an action movie it would be so easy to write jason off like that#but Salim fights for him so adamantly both physically and emotionally#again another instance of Salims presence pushing Jason towards much higher shelf of self development#thats why i love these two because it doesn't stop on simple Soldier-saving-Soldier thing#it goes so deep into their psychologies#MHM MHM MHM!! good shit!!!#rhysuje
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Boy I can't wait for another four years of being blamed for white women voting for Trump when like. It's cishet white Christian women. It is a specific demographic. We know this.
But yeah, let's shame your local white lesbians for not... somehow converting their homophobic transphobic moms. This will save democracy. I'm already exhausted.
#just genuinely crazy how many people are like 'DID YOU TALK TO THE WHITE WOMEN IN YOUR FAMILY???'#why do you think that would help#do you not think any of us tried in 2016 or 2020?#did that fucking help???#the solution isn't converting these weird fucks in our family#it's getting more goddamn people to vote#and it's so fucking crazy that no one is focusing on that#I know other demographics are also being blamed#but after four years of seeing this once… seeing it crop up again…#people will genuinely blame progressive people for being in a primarily republican demographic#and not somehow talking all of their shitty relatives into voting blue#what family do you live in where that seems possible#leftists believe in original sin but identity-based#if you’re not constantly and loudly repenting you are responsible#apparently
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If some other magicless person got stuck in Twisted Wonderland and tried to take my place, I'd simply let them. Yeah, bitch, now you take care of these motherfuckers and deal with Crowley's bullshit, see if I fuckin care. Have fun babysitting a bunch of sunovabitches who barely even remember you exist half the time.
I love the angst of "they pushed the Prefect away and replaced them only to miss them when they finally leave", but, also, if I were Yuu, I'd absolutely just let it happen. Call me a pushover, but I ain't shedding a tear for friends who left for the newest shiny thing. And it would relieve me from all the trouble. Guess who's not fighting Overblots anymore? This bastard, that's who.
#twisted wonderland#I'm not salty however yes I am#I'd not fight for people willing to replace me just like that#«but you'd be lonely» being accompanied by fake assholes is 10x lonelier#though that gives me an idea#how fun would it be if NRC started trying to replace Yuu and instead of going to RSA‚ Yuu goes to FUCKIN ROLLO#just knocks on NBC and «heeeeey» and Rollo is foaming at the mouth because «they kicked out a MAGICLESS PERSON??»#Rollo: You called me a monster when I lighted that fire‚ but can you call yourselves *men* after abandoning the Prefect#Bells of Notre Dame but instead it's Yuu running to NBC and Rollo taking her in#wait that also means I could make the others get obsessed with bringing Yuu back#so they'd have Hellfire. meanwhile‚ Rollo has a repentance arc through his relationship with Yuu‚ Heaven's Light#... I'm rambling#devaneios de bellee
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It's a shame that Sergeant Bitter-Root and Manny/Boone have never met cause those conversations would be fucking rough
#like it's a sliding scale of what happened at bittersprings for all of them from like BRs violent support of it Boones immense guilt and#desire for repentence and Manny's almost neutral view on it due to not knowing like it was bad but he himself says he cant blame anyone tho#that would def change is he got put in a room with those two BR got to talking about it#like all first reconn and Manny and BR have such like interesting backgrounds that are the opposite of each other and you can see why they#think about the events and the khans the way they do while Boone is just like there as an interesting outside perspective that also has his#own personal ties to it before and after on such a deep level#i want to write my mega NCR analysis posts but at the same time i need my air of whimsy posts#fallout#fallout new vegas#craig boone#manny vargas#sergeant bitter-root
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“cody only has under an hour of screen time in all of star wars” maybe to you he does. to me he's the main character
#he's my most special little guy don't you GET it#in my mind's eye he also has at least an hour more of screen time from being in the kenobi show#because that's canon. FOR ME#bickering like an old married couple protecting luke and throwing bodies into the sarlac as a personal murder disposal on tattooine#everyone raise a glass for the first draft of the kenobi show that had cody chilling in the desert with obi wan as his secret buddy#where we would have had a deeper focus on themes of guilt and sacrifice and repentance and hope for a better future#by virtue of cody being there and exploring his new relationship with obi wan where they're foils for each other both driven by guilt#“my cody was so fun” yeah of course he would have been he's post war scrappy uncle cody killing bounty hunters every other thusday#how is that not the most fun thing ever#he's just so sunshiney like asfdsskk#he's my rotten soldier#he's my sweet cheese my good time boy#this is what i get for hyperfixating on clone wars for months on end#strong opinions on the rich inner lives of copy paste men and their 3 million brothers#*deep sigh* this is my life now and i love it and cannot save myself#star wars#the clone wars#the bad batch#tcw#sw#commander cody#codywan#tcw cody#clone wars#cc 2224#(thinking of any more tags used for cody)#(nah i think we're good)#andis thought geyser
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Ended up pirating all of Hazbin for the sake of my younger days (used to be a fan when I was around 14/15, before all the stuff with Viv came out) and I am so surprised by how I felt... nothing for the most part. Like a lot of the show's storylines feel like they was crammed in there with no real pacing. A lot of this should have been season 2 territory, which is a sentiment I've seen echoed around, but also... it feels as if the show is trying to be episodic while also having a long narrative thread, which just doesn't work with just 8 episodes. Especially not when paced like this. So I kinda ended up feeling nothing for the most part. All the events got a "Oh, great, so what?" reaction out of me because there was little to no buildup to most of them.
Sir Pentious was always a fave of mine so I was glad to see they kept him around and, though I think we should have had more episodes with him as a villain, I think how he ended up was fitting for what little of an arc he had. I am livid about what they did to Cherri and Mimzy.
I fucking loved Mimzy, I have no idea why they sent her away -- having someone like her at the Hotel would have been a blast considering how the others are already on the road to redemption. She would have balanced it out by being a regular sinner, someone who doesn't care about redemption and won't probably ever care unless it's in her best interests to. Plus her friendship with Alastor was quite cute, they bounce off of each other very well imo. Plus I could see her have a bit of a conflict with both Charlie and Vaggie because of her ways of acting. I'm so sorry they took that from you girlboss.
And Cherri... dear lord where WAS she? She should have been a lot more present. I used to like her relationship with Angel and I even think Cherrisnake is cute conceptually, but both these relationship had... little to no room to breathe imo.
#hazbin hotel critical#not putting this in the main tag#i wouldnt call myself a fan but i guess i can mourn what could have been#not considering viv and her controversities for a second... the pilot had a very nice feeling to it#that the series was not able to replicate#i think my liking of mimzy should come as a surprise to NO ONE LMAOOOO#i love evil selfish women im sorry ... sue me#we need to save mimzy sir pen and cherribomb from hazbin everyone else can rot#ok in all fairness i will give the show credit for ONE thing#i kind of enjoyed adam and lute as antagonists. adam is insufferable which is awesome#it makes it easy to hate him as a villain. and lute being his right hand woman makes sense#they read like a christian couple (term used loosely) where the man is a misogynistic asshole and the woman just kinda endorses it#which is perfect if you wanna make a critique of heaven and the humans who go in it because they repented or whatever#i always love dumbass villains who are easy to hate (mamoon from helluva being another example of a villain i enjoy)#thats it. thats all i have in terms of compliments#would love to adress the Angel Dust controversy because as a victim of SA (and CSA) myself I think there is nuance to be found in --#-- having a discussion about how we see survivors and how we portray the abuse they endure#i was an unconventional victim too. i kind of see a glimpse of me in Angel which is why I was LIVID when I got the full picture of the --#-- situation. but still
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“because he never accepts that it's never been about righteousness--it's about repentance.” except javert killing himself IS repentance.
well, it’s like 12 different things, because bro had gone days without sleeping and very little food and water and he already had low self-worth and kept asking the amis to kill him and just assumed he was going to die AND THEN valjean upended his understanding of the world and morality. he was really going through it & there are a lot of overlapping reasons for why he jumps into the seine.
but javert is like Number One Most Responsible guy in the whole story. taking responsibility is his Thing (forever bitter the musical doesn’t include the punish me monsieur le maire scene). how else, in his derailment, could he atone for his conceived misdeeds other than by handing in his resignation to god? in the brick he had already left a note urging his superiors to treat convicts at toulon better, which is another step in his repentance (and another crime the musical commits by not including it). jumping into the seine was another step.
honestly a lot of ppl who like the book think the musical was dead wrong to exclude him from the big heaven group sing, because it COMPLETELY undermines the themes of forgiveness and compassion threaded throughout les mis. like the musical was simply wrong lol.
This is helpful context! I am still finishing the brick, although I have fully read the abridged version, and that detail about the letter wasn't included, so I didn't know that occurred! (And thank you for the message--this is a long response but I'd love to hear more of your thoughts!)
I agree that Javert is certainly deeply distraught and remorseful; like you mentioned, his worldview is literally falling apart, and his actions reflect his mental state. But his death isn't really repentance--in the sense that it's not what God would have wanted. To me it reads like a Judas situation: a desperate realization of a huge mistake, and doing the only thing you think can make it right, namely, ending it all. That's the just punishment for someone so wrong, isn't it?
But true repentance, meaning the repentance that the Lord desires, is about changing your ways, not "paying a price." Had Javert really understood the beauty of Valjean's mercy (an image of Christ's, just as the bishop's undeserved mercy was to Valjean himself), rather than killing himself, he would have lived to also become "an honest man"--in heart. One who could forgive and understand forgiveness, for himself as well as others. One who could recognize that he is not The Law, that he can fall, but that he can also be "brought to the light." One who could accept that men like Valjean, and men like himself, CAN change, and be changed.
It's tragic to me because so much of "Stars," and his character in the book as well as the musical, is about wanting to be righteous, to rise above his birth and the sinfulness he associates it with. It's about wanting to please the Lord by his actions. But in his end, he shows he never understood what God really wanted from him, and that's where my original phrase comes in: not righteousness, but repentance. To live, and face the man you were, knowing it's no longer the man you are. That it's never been about what you've done or can do, but about what's been done for you. That's the Gospel that he could never fully accept.
To use another example you mentioned, that misunderstanding drives why he asks the Mayor (Valjean) to punish him--in his worldview, mercy is unjust, or at the very least, unfair. Evil must be punished; "those who fall like Lucifer fell" receive "the sword." But "as it is written," God "desires mercy, not sacrifice" (Matthew 9:13). God would have wanted Javert to live, and Javert couldn't see that, and that's why it's devastating to me. In his misunderstanding of the heart of God, he misses what would have set him free from the chains of sin he's always been trying to escape.
That's why he's contrasted with Valjean, who (though he carries guilt about his past till the end of his life) is eventually able to face it and confess what he had done to those he loves. He knew there was mercy to be found, if only it was asked for. Javert was too blinded by pride and shame to realize it, and so, while broken, he never was able to truly repent.
For that, you must go on.
#i have a lot more thoughts on this specifically as it relates to pride as javert's fatal flaw. that's what kept him from grasping it all#because fundamentally he believes what he does is what sets him apart as righteous. that's the symbolism of the brand: your deeds define you#so if it's actually been about mercy all along then he has been needlessly cruel when he thought it was righteousness#and all of his actions that he thought made him better have been for nothing. he's carried shame for nothing. been a slave for nothing#les miserables#les mis#inspector javert#responses aka the ramblings of my brain#my meta posts#meta#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#no actually i'm still not done just needed to interrupt for the search tags etc.#shame is only possible where pride is present#that's my hot take. if javert had been truly totally humble he would not have killed himself. he would have accepted the gift of life#which is the same gift we are given in christ!! and that's honestly why it isn't repentance because the whole thing is a christian allegory#his suicide shows that he still regards himself as judge. he determines the punishment#and in his song the lyrics are full of things like 'damned if i'll live in the debt of a thief' 'i'll spit his pity right back in his face'#he is too prideful to accept the gift that christ has given: salvation UTTERLY unearned and undeserved. through grace alone#narratively he represents the Law (old covenant) in christianity and those who still choose to live under it#romans 3:20 says 'therefore by the deeds of the law shall no flesh be justified in His sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin'#but valjean represents one saved by the new covenant. who can see that his 'righteousness is as filthy rags' (isaiah 64:6) and is redeemed#and that is why ultimately from a narrative perspective valjean has salvation and javert does not#not that javert did not see his wrongdoing but that he could not look past his own 'righteousness'#anyway this was all very christian-info-dump but the book is too so i feel it was justified 😂 but that's my interpretation#would love to hear more thoughts if you have them!! i truly hope this didn't come off as combative bc i mean it super genuinely!#kay has a party in the tags#kay is a musical theater nerd#kay is a classical literature nerd
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There is a real poignancy to how much Margaret suffers. I always forget it till I see it again. It’s very Elena Gilbert of her.
#it would be a great set up for QUIET AND RESTRAINED COMPASSION ON THE PART OF A CERTAIN SOMEBODY#but instead he’s like ‘breathing the same air as you gives life its true worth’ ‘but also sometimes I want to hit you so that you will be#‘forced to see my repentance for having hit you’#which is. in.SANE.#I exaggerate. but only slightly#sorry back on my dragging north and south again horse#(I’m almost done)
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Conflicted about something (actually has been on my mind for a long time, it's just never been brought up), but like. I do like portraying Moe with self-harm scars. I like to treat the scars the same way I treat its acne/the scarring that comes from that. Just like, a candid portrayal of Well, that's just how it looks. Because of this, I also don't like the idea that self-harm scars should always be trigger-tagged. Kind of gets into the idea of what bodies should be "censored", and like, man, sometimes people just look like that...
But I also do wanna be mindful... I wonder if the rule of thumb should be, if the self-harm is the focus of the piece? Then you should probably tag it? But then that kind of gets ambiguous fast like. Usually I color Moe's scars to be pink/faded. So even when they are visible, they don't jump out at you really. But this recent piece I wanted to emphasize the scarring. Is it emphasized enough to warrant a tag...? But the piece really isn't focused on that. It makes up part of the storytelling/theming of the piece, but also does sort of fall into the category of "Well Moe just looks like that".
Do you. See the conflict here.
#idk idk... i think there are several reasons i always am particular about portraying it.#but it's never really meant to be a focus. at least not in the work i put out there. i don't have an interest in the nitty-gritty of it#just like. bread crumb trails i guess. where you can see things and based off of canon info you can extrapolate#like. what would be going on behind the scenes hypothetically. but also i am just aaall about the imagery#we don't have to get into it. but you can See what's going on here. you get the jist of it.#there are other examples where things get ambiguous or the imagery is so lax idk if i should tag it... i guess we'll see#okay. so i said i don't like getting into it. but. but. i DO want you to consider.#how being a healer w self-harming tendencies kind of goes crazy.#the way moe is always trying to hide in one way or another and the way moe is just Destructive. on SO many levels.#guy who is gonna repent about it. guy who is gonna lick its wounds in the dark about it.#guy who is gonna try SO. SO. SOOOOOO FUCKING HARD. to be 'worth' it somehow. to make up for it.#guy who was supposed to 'fix it'.#instructions unclear it fucked it up SO BAD. SO SO BAD. OH GOD. OH FUCK. IT'S FINE. IT'LL BE FINE JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE#REAGARDLESS. what the fuck am i talking aboyt .#whatever#moe lore
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idk how many times I have to come across ascendant defenders… this is just tiring.
#how he is so happy now and has so many opportunities#i explained he has now a target on his back to which i was told he has one anyway cuz he’s a vampire…#ok so?#i give up srsly#astarion#once again they’re weaponizing all the dialogue choices like he’ll have to deal with not seeing the sun and how he doesn’t like it#and how he hates when Tav tells him they’ll protect him#honestly i need Larian to give a proper damn ending for the spawn camp cuz this is never gonna stop#justice for the man who snapped out of the vicious cycle of power hungriness#cuz how all power hungry ppl end up? dead#and even when Larian confirmed his background and how he got killed by Gur bc of his corrupt decisions etc#well then he got what was coming for him and this is an opportunity to repent and make a difference#but asc camp: he was always a manipulative prick so why would you attempt to change him
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#trigun#trigun stampede#ok but go with me on this#knives comes back after causing the big fall#and he's repentant#he begs vash for forgiveness#he just wanted to reintegrate into ship life again#(of course vash is ecstatic about this)#he just has one request#he demands that everyone call him spoons now#because he doesn't want to be associated with knives anymore#do you think vash would just role with it??#like sure whatever you say bro I'm just glad you stopped genociding#or would he try to talk him out of it#bro..... people are looking at you funny#you should probably just confess to the genocide it would be less embarrassing
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Tbhhh I think Erik should join Sabertooth alongside Sorano. Any hcs?
if erik would join hed be sabertooth's mystogan
shows up when the least amount of people are there / when the quiet ones are there
never stays for long. grabs jobs a handful at a time and dips
sorano would try to keep him there for longer and yukino would follow her lead
erik tries very hard to never show up when sorano's there
the only sabertooth member erik would willingly stay by is rogue because nearly everything about him is kinda muted
which contrasts with sorano, whos around almost everyone all the time
erik and sorano would stick together for some tougher quests if they ever had to go on them, but at that point, theyd probably just call in everyone else from their old group. and probably some fairy tail members.
they would both work solo for the most part.
if yukino was going on a bigger quest then no matter what sorano will follow. doesnt take more than 20% of the payment in that case.
erik does his damnedest to not have anyone with him but sometimes sorano or rogue just pop up and help him.
rogue genuinely just finds erik and the shadows sometimes lead him over to him for literally no reason. at that point rogue just kinda wants to chill out but then he learns its for a quest and is like 'eh. if you want some help'
sorano sometimes purposefully follows erik from the guildhall to wherever hes going. sometimes shes in the area (typically like twenty miles from him) and notices a change in her magic and just. follows that oddness over to erik.
sabertooth thinks erik is a cryptid. sorano both plays up that rumour and tries to break it every chance she gets.
erik doesnt care about the rumour and sometimes appreciates it bc if he ever finds a sabertooth member out in the wild, theyll try to get far away from him as fast as they can
sorano, despite yknow repenting for being a criminal or whatever it was she was doing, doesnt live with yukino. shes on the other side of town, if not just the next town over
erik lives. somewhere. no ones willing to say where but sting says hes got residence somewhere so. whatever.
sorano's mark is either light blue or white and its around where gray's is, just on the opposite side
erik's is on the side of his torso. like where your arm would hide it when relaxed. he didnt care what colour it was. he got dark purple.
#mind you sorano would probably not join for quite a few years bc the whole repenting or apologizing or whatever for her crimes#and i just dont really see erik joining a guild bc of how loud they always are#but if they were to join it sometime soon after canon then ^^^ there ya go#ohtobe asks#fairy tail#fairy tail headcanons#cobra erik#erik cobra#fairy tail erik#fairy tail cobra#sorano agria#fairy tail sorano#fairy tail angel#sabertooth#fairy tail sabertooth#yukino agria#rogue cheney#theres just enough of them that i feel like a tag would be ok
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Shadows of Fear: Repent at Leisure (1.5, Thames, 1971)
"Poor Robert. Do you remember what the doctor said? He'd never seen such an advanced cirrhosis in someone so young. He had a liver like a Strasbourg goose."
"Occupational hazard."
"How'd you think that made me feel? It isn't very flattering for a wife to play second fiddle to a wine list."
"I'm sure it was no reflection on you."
"All the same. I hardly changed the pattern of his life, did I?"
"No... but you're asking Harry to make fantastic adjustments. From galley to, uh, captain's table."
"You're a terrible snob, Peter."
"Oh, I am. So are you, my pet. That's what frightens me."
#shadows of fear#repent at leisure#single play#horror tv#classic tv#1971#kim mills#roger marshall#elizabeth sellars#george sewell#alethea charlton#peter cellier#series producer Mills takes directing duties and would helm the lion's share of the series from this point on; shades of trouble behind the#scenes? or another budget constraint? pure guesswork of course; as i said in an earlier set of tags‚ there's precious little info out there#about the production of this series. writer Marshall would have known Mills well from their time together on Public Eye (an ongoing#collaboration in fact). Marshall had written the first episode of this series (or pilot as it probably was) and that's the episode this#most closely resembles; it's less consciously 'horror' telly than the previous few and much more in the way of social suspense#it also seems a little stretched thin‚ again like the pilot: the plot is an old ham‚ a wealthy widow marries a steward from a cruise ship#and the scene is set for class based conflict and the whiff of a plan to do away with the lady and inherit a fortune... so far so blah#BUT i will say this one actually has a fairly excellent twist; a twist on a twist perhaps‚ or an Untwist. you see (SPOILER) George Sewell's#working class husband is actually... exactly who he says he is. and the murder plot in Liz Sellars' mind is‚ indeed‚ just in her mind.#unpacking this hoary old plot in a realist manner (but still with the called for suspense) is a smart move‚ but particularly impressive is#the explanation Marshall gives for Sewell's mysterious behaviour: his sister is in an interracial marriage and he suspects that the upper#class Sellars is probably a racist who'd react badly. i haven't time to fully unspool that (why marry her‚ is the obvious question) but i#do think it's a scripting masterstroke: it instantly reconfigures our sympathies towards the characters‚ makes Liz not just foolish (for#suspecting a murder plot) but an unsympathetic antagonist. in a few lines in one scene we suddenly see both her and Sewell in completely#different lights‚ and our allegiances are instantly changed. from that point on the horror is not what might happen to her because of his#'evil'‚ but what might happen to him because of her ignorance and neuroses. it's clever! and makes for a play that's much more satisfying#in its second half
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I like to think in the P.E au that Anya and Curly specifically get haunted hard by Jimmy's weird reality crossing guilt manifested.
It's targeting them because Jimmy's guilt grows more around them. The idea of him acting and playing nice despite what he did. It's like a buffet that allows it to pick from their plates.
Anya sees this stagnant version of her, blood from her mouth, clutching her stomach with a bottle of pills in her other hand. She's talking about not being heard, a pixel, relief from a burden. She tries to ask a question and it's never the right one. She's not understanding but in a way, she's getting that this version of her is in pain. She tries to help, extends a hand and asks how she can help, stop it. She stares and there's utter despair and disappointment in her eyes.
What did you do?
Curly sees this burnt mangled thing. But he can't call it that. Even with no skin and chipping teeth, covered in sullied bandages and smelling of death overdue, he can see his face. He can recognized that eye, he stares at it a lot in the mirror, usually a second one is attached but he digresses. They are just watching, staring and unmoving. He asks himself what happened, how can he help and his own retched mangled voice comes out from a empty maw.
I told you.
They have no idea what it really means. They don't know who to tell. Flashes of a life they don't know or maybe a future they haven't lived yet. Perhaps they treat it as their own minds trying to tell them something. They bare that burden themselves and that alone makes it heavier. Plumper. More appetizing to the guilt causing it.
Tragically that guilt is not their own.
#refining the au and the crew cant see the entity always but pretty much its always felt sort of like a mind over matter debacle#it is like the code scanner sections where only jimmy sees it but it can kinda interact with things to an extent like a force of negative#energy jimmy cant just outright tell them cause theyll just think he's insane but he can't ignore it cause he can't ignore the guilt anymor#anya and curly are its biggest targets as it is relatively easy for him to rectify the issues with Swansea and Daisuke vs the internalized#problems he has with Anya and Curly and its sort of about him no longer becoming that person he was in that future cause its the same#timeline but like divergence he was sent back with something awful and the story is less about forgiveness and more about repenting#hes still weird and an asshole he is being tormented but no one else gets seriously hurt so bittersweet#its like a fix-it but like imagine getting put into a perfect world with all the knowledge of ur fuck ups and now being haunted by the#guilt you will do the same shit again because you already have and having to prove you arent that person but then you also prove you didnt#ever have to be that person so you damn yourself even more like this doesn't end happy for Jimmy like ill tell you that but he'll actually#learn something so yeah thats somethting but everyone is still a little worse after this but can move on happily#the demons are tormenting each other by blaming them for Jimmy's actions invertedly cause while its not her fault anya in the reg timeline#def wondered if she stayed silent if this all wouldve happened even though it really isnt her fault and Curly knew deep down how bad Jimmy#was how bad he was to him and he likely told himself Jimmy would be the end of him and a lot of other but was so beaten down he couldnt go#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#jimmy mouthwashing#pe au#thinking of calling it pestilent equine au? that sound good? we like P.E is just the short funny name for it?
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#it could've been their deus ex machina. it literally WAS back when they were fighting that giant worm that not even serpens could kill#but everyone just unanimously decided to forget about it#I love this dumb book with my whole heart#duke please repent#novel spoilers#bff.txt#don't you just love it when a completely random thing that you've read 2 years ago suddenly pops in your head like heyyy bestie go make a#post about me that you and only you would understand
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