#If you seriously ship them gtfo out here this is NOT a safe place for comshippers/srs

[kawaiitail-chan]

"I ship angeldust and val-"

My honest reaction:

[yakumtsaki]

Alright you guys, sorry for the delay, I’ve had to restart this post 20 fucking times because my changes weren’t being saved in the draft and then I kept getting the ‘upload failed’ error. In case you don’t remember wtf is going on you might wanna re-read the last update (I certainly had to) which is apparently from JUNE 2018. Jfc I suck so hard. Now this was gonna be really long but tumblr wouldn’t post it so I’m breaking it up in 3 parts, part 2 to be posted tomorrow. For those that don’t feel like reading back, general recap of the last couple updates:

Jojo cheated on Wyatt with Max Flexor and my solution to that marital crisis was to adopt our first dog ever, a puppy hilariously named Maxx.

The puppy grew up to be an asshole and is constantly beating up the cats, who have turned into giant pussies (no pun intended) and are losing every fight to him despite the fact they’re named after Mortal Kombat characters. They’re a fucking disgrace to Alegra’s/Victor’s/Ronroneo’s memory and I haven’t settled on a cat heir yet because they both suck.

Jojo is perma miserable, I don’t even remember how much money away from his 100k LTW, and still not a werewolf despite my pathologically persistent attempts to make him friends with the wolf.

Fucking useless Wyatt didn’t get promoted while Komei was alive providing us with his 100 townie friends, we spent 20 updates befriending every rando that crossed our lot to secure his promotion, and then finally on the day he was supposed to become Captain Hero, Wyatt got, of course, fired and is now on track to take longer to complete his literal career based LTW than Komei took to get 6 pets on the top of their careers.

Absolutely everyone hates noogie addict Shajar, she got a Kylo Ren makeover, and we still don’t know what her sexual orientation is thanks to her ridiculous fitness/fatness turn ons and cleanliness turn off.

Golden child/10 nice points freakshow Cyneswith grew up, rolled romance with the most disturbing turn-ons/offs possible (grey hair/mechanical & charisma turn off) and the 20 simultaneous lovers LTW.

Wulf grew up into a kid, got an Amadeus makeover, is officially a Wyatt clone and the only member of this family I don’t completely hate yet.

Now I’d like to begin the first Union post in more than a year by requesting you do me a solid and lower your expectations for this thing as far down as humanly possible. Like really try to recreate the Jules Verne classic “Journey to the Center of the Earth” with your expectations here, because my brain is so fucking fried that there’s a 20% chance I randomly start citing sources at some point during this post. This grad school crap has seriously been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever. And speaking of bad trade deals, let’s get this update rolling with the man, the myth, the legend, the husband who managed to make Komei look like a dreamboat in comparison..

..Wyatt fucking Union, née Monif. It’s been a long time, but I’m not gonna lie to you Wyatt, not nearly long enough. Looking good man, just one small question, where the fuck are your eyebrows?

-You àccidéntally deléted thém, imbécilé, et I cannôt exprèss my irritatiόn prόperly becausé I hàve non eyebrôws!

Did your selective French accent get thicker this past year or is it just me?

-It géts thickér whén je suis distrésséd, givé moi mon eyebrôws bàcc!!!

No can do, brother. Actually can do, but I think the Mona Lisa look is working for you, and more importantly I still hate you, so I’m just gonna hardcore ignore you for the rest of this post if that’s ok. Talk to me when you finally get promoted, aka never the way this shit is going.

-Non! NON! MON EYEBROWS!

It’s been lovely catching up.

Jojό I mean Jojo, goddammit Wyatt, is spending most of his time building robots in the mausoleum (sweet hipster band name alert)..

..giving financial advice in Shajar’s room (inb4 what’s the difference between the mausoleum and Shajar’s room)..

..building evil snowmen alone in the middle of the night, like all mentally healthy middle aged men with 3 kids are wont to do..

..and getting the piss harassed out of him by the cat ghosts in the bathroom (sweet hipster band name alert #2). How is this like the fourth time this happens in the exact same spot, will you just stop autonomously cleaning the bathroom after midnight? It’s obviously where the cats hang out, give it the fuck up already.

-I’m actively TRYING TO DIE you absolute moron, what does a guy have to do to get killed around here?

Yea can’t say that I blame you but not happening, you can commit suicide by Ghost Alegra after the kids fuck off to college, ok? I promise.

-Oh like you promised me being heir was a route worth pursuing??

Um obviously you too need to go back and re-read your own life story, because I spent the entirety of our “““cherished””” time together telling you heirship is a shitty gig at generation 2. And then to top it off you went and married Wyatt to ensure maximum shittiness, so there you go, fucking enjoy. God I am so sick of both of you losers and we’re only 5 pics in. Let’s check in with your spawn, I’m sure they can’t possibly be more annoying than their parents-

-oh right, I forgot, this is the generation with 10/10/9 active points where the party never stops. Cyneswith are you somehow twerking to classical music?

-How else am I gonna attract all those hot senior citizens per my grey hair turn on and 20 lovers LTW?

Ok great yea I see how this is gonna go, you’re trying to entice people into voting you for heir based on how torturous playing this fucked up LTW is gonna be for me, well forget it, my readers are intellectuals and completely above such petty entertainment. (istg mofos, don’t even think about it, i already did Komei’s 5 pets career shit, i will burn this place to the ground if you saddle me with Cyneswith banging the elderly for 30 years)

-No need to worry your stupid little head, I will beat Cyneswith for HEIR just like I beat her HAIR up daily! HAHA!

Shajar no offense but you’re a fucking war crime of a sim, nearly everyone who’s ever met you hates you including your parents, and the fact that you’re the alternative here is really not helping my situation in any way. Also how the fuck are you gonna be heir when the only thing you seem to be attracted to is giving noogies, you’re like one week away from college and I still don’t even know if you’re str8 or gay or bi or w/e the fuck you are. You have Jojo’s personality combined with..

..yes exactly, DANIEL’S SOCIAL ABILITIES. I mean I was joking with the whole ‘Shajar’s the spawn of Satan’ thing, but this combo of traits was clearly drawn up in Hell’s boardroom.

ANYWAY. It’s a snowy Sunday morning, and anyone who has been a teen knows what that means:

Time to go clubbing! Man I remember being like 15, waking up on a freezing Sunday morning and my mom making me a cup of hot chocolate before I drove off to the club. Those were the days.

-Uh, Shaj, when did you learn how to drive?

-Don’t be stupid, Cyneswith, people don’t need to ‘learn’ how to drive.

-They absolutely do, actually.

-Well what can I tell you, the dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

-Here we are, safe and sound! Celebratory noogie!

-YOU RAN OVER 9 PEOPLE

-How many times to I have to explain this to you, Apartment Life townies are not people.

Can’t argue with that logic. Let’s just go in and find out what Shajar’s sexual orientation is once and for all so I can spend the rest of this update aggressively promoting Wulf’s candidacy.

Now I consider ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’ one of the dumbest sayings there is, but even I have to concede that this particular picture truly is worth a thousand words. Quick poll, what is more horrifying, Shajar’s literal Joker face or Cyneswith, whom I’ve never seen read a book ever, autonomously pulling one out in the middle of the dance floor, in what I can only assume is an attempt to attract old perverts with the schoolgirl routine?

And I know what some of you are thinking, you’re like ‘bro, you’re just reaching to make a bad joke bro, Cyneswith is just a sweet nice introvert and not like other girls, she doesn’t feel comfortable in the club’, well to that let me reply with another picture that is worth a thousand words:

Yea that’s right, on the first minute of our first time out WE RUN INTO THAT ONE ELDER TOWNIE THAT HAS WRINKLE MAKE UP ON. GODDAMMIT CYNESWITH

Do you guys remember how Jojo was obsessed with Stephen Tinker as a teen? Are you seeing the connection here?? Those kids have literally inherited the worst possible traits from both their parents turned up to 11, it’s fucking unreal.  

Right after I get over Wrinkle’s presence I turn around and what do I see, those 2, who have never had a non-noogie physical interaction, autonomously doing the family kiss thing. I didn’t even catch it on time because I was loling irl, we came out here so these assholes can find age-appropriate partners, and instead they’re kissing each other. Seems about right with this family, and clearly Striped Scarf’s dumb ass ships it.

-They look so much alike, it’s meant to be!

Yes, and they even share the same last name! Talk about written in the stars.

Thankfully Abhijeet is here to save us from incest by perving on Cyneswith. GTFO ABHIJEET. Anyone like ‘bro townies just autonomously come to greet your sims on community lots regardless of age, stop calling them perverts’, see you in about 5 pics down.  

I try to have Shajar chat up Striped Scarf and suffice it to say Shaj ~stole her heart~ and presumably put it on this stick to wave around.

NO. CYNESWITH NO. I’m seriously having déjà vu of all the times I was like ‘NO. JOJO NO’, jfc.

Shajar is unsurprisingly exhibiting no interest in socializing with anyone around her, instead she’s trying every activity this terribly lit place has to offer, and she looks demented while doing it:

I’m feeling a primal urge to photoshop Darth Vader’s melted helmet on the bowling ball here, someone please remind me to do it for the heir vote photoshoot.

-HA. SUCK IT DENISE JACQUET

That’s Denise Jacquet?! I can’t tell who anyone is for shit anymore. The default replacements are a scourge upon premade brands, I’m getting rid of them pronto. Speaking of scourges, where the hell is your sister?

-Who cares?

I wanna say ‘me’ but we both know that’s a lie.

Oh ok, THERE SHE IS.

-So you see Cyneswith, just because something is technically ‘illegal’, doesn’t mean it’s morally wrong-

Yea yea fascinating stuff, now get out of the hot tub or I will fucking neuter you, I don’t know if a eunuch mod already exists for medieval games but I will make one if it doesn’t.

Here, Cyneswith, drink some water, have a nice G-rated convo with your sister about violins and stop pissing me off. 

-First of all this is straight vodka.

Great.

-Secondly Shajar is talking about Mozart’s coprophilia.

-I sure am.

Amazing. Well, I guess it’s at times like these when you need to look inside your heart and truly ask yourself, what did you expect from Jojo’s children.

ABHIJEET ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME DID YOU EVEN HEAR ME TALK ABOUT CASTRATION

-Ha, I went home and put on my most elderly-looking formal wear!

-I hate to see you go but I love to watch you leave Ab <3

CYNESWITH SHUT UP. I can’t believe you people are actually making me miss Gunther’s teenage whoring, at least he kept it age appropriate.

-Is some random lady pressing her breasts against my head?

She most certainly is, Shajar, because it is now crystal clear that this bowling alley doubles as the site of annual perv townie convention and we walked right into it-

-and it’s also clear we have serious issues and are enjoying ourselves. Shaj I legit don’t know what to tell you, this is the first time you get along with someone right away and it just had to be the adult with the bad haircut and the flasher’s trench coat???

-You’re damn right it did.

Alright then, I’m officially going to nope out of this situation, safe in the knowledge you’re a noogiesexual and nothing will actually happen with this freak, so I’ll focus on Cyneswith instead who is much more of a loose canon. 

Here Cyn, talk to this guy, who I’m 90% sure is the same guy your father rejected in favor of stalking Stephen Tinker when he was your age.

-Ohhhh, he’s dreamy!

Omg really?? Halleluj-

-oh never mind, you were of course referring to adult ass Brandon Lillard. I do like that our townies have recurring roles each generation, we should make rejecting Blondie a rite of passage in this family. We should also officially gtfo because this is happening:

-Um, now that I’m looking at you in harsher lighting, it’s gonna be a no from me dawg. 

Oh, thank the fucking lord.

-Let’s celebrate the fact we didn’t get hopelessly obsessed with any adults here by doing the traditional Dance of Normality!

-We beat Dad’s genes, we beat Dad’s genes!

-We’re normal!

Yes, and we’re definitely showing it. Can we please leave now so I can make sure I’ve uninstalled Inteenminator and turn off free will? 

-Nop! Venue change!

-Got-out-of-the-car celebratory noogie!

-Made-it-to-the-door celebratory noogie!

Shajar you unironically have a noogie addiction, I’m not kidding in the slightest, you need to see a doctor.

Great, great, not another teen in sight and to top it off Denise followed us here to ensure maximum elder presence. I feel comfortable officially declaring this day a complete waste of time.

God, the vintage pink dress and the pink alcohol combo is some straight up current era Taylor Swift nonsense. That’s it, we’re outta here, back home where no one is lurking, waiting to strike at us-

-SOPHIE NOOOOOOOOOOOO💔💔💔💔💔

-The Lord is my shepherd.

NO HE ISN’T EVERYONE KNOWS YOU CAN’T HERD CATS PLEASE DON’T DIE

-Nop, I’m over it. Goodbye heathens, it’s been nice, hope you don’t find your paradise. 

UGH SOPHIE, my beloved Westboro lunatic, the last gangsta generation 1 cat we had.. I can’t believe you’re gone and all I’m left with is stupid Goro and D’vorah who can’t even beat up the fucking dog. This is truly painful.

Yes, pets, I agree, Kaylynn is completely to blame for Sophie dying of old age. The time has now come to decide on a cat heir-

-and since Goro ran away like a little bitch after Sophie’s death despite the fact he didn’t even like her, he’s automatically disqualified and will be going off to live on Melody and Daniel’s farm once returned to us. Congratulations to D’vorah I guess, on being the least terrible of two terrible options. 

On the topic of terrible heir options, Cyn has non-stop wants to go on dates and have her first kiss and all that crap, and since our Sunday morning clubbing was a bust we invite over the matchmaker.

-Hello there young Union, I see your house has been upgraded since I was last here.

Oh right we haven’t required your services since Daniel was a teen and we lived in a trailer, well we are flush with cash now!

-Hopefully your payment reflects that.

It will!! Just please give us someone good, I can’t deal with single teen Cyn for one more second.

-Oh my, what a beautiful BLANK PIECE OF PAPER.

WHAT!? NO THAT’S 5K IT’S JUST A SNOW GLITCH 

-What do I look like to you, a money thawing service?

Does such a service.. exist??

-It does not, so I have to go home and use a hairdryer on this!

Just come inside and we’ll give you non-frozen money!

-No, no, you’ll get what you paid for..

-Have a magical time!

...

.........

......................

Lakshmi this was so fucking evil that I almost want to age you down and see if you and Shajar hit it off. 

-As if, the whole neighborhood knows what you did to Komei.

Helped him achieve his insane 6-pets-career LTW?

-Turned him into a servant while your sim was lounging around all day!

Oh yea I did do that. But Wyatt was also a townie and he does literally nothing, Jojo is the servant now!

-Only because Wyatt is too fucking stupid to do things! Word has gotten out, no townie will ever marry in this family again unless they’re brain dead, so it’s Wyatts only for you from now on, sister!

Well this has been a complete fucking disaster. It was great seeing you again, Lakshmi, thanks for the dream date with the adult farting machine, 5k well-spent.

Pretty sure it was you bro, and yes, how about we don’t do that again.

Wyatt has brought over Amanda from work! (Aka Victoria’s only friend and subsequent lesbian lover, who is really pretty and is definitely getting married in at some point, preferably after the brown hair genes have been weakened so we can go back to being gingers.)  

-Wow Shajar, your grandmother, God rest her soul, mentioned you were her favorite and now I can see why! Loving the Kylo Ren look!

-Is someone being genuinely nice to me?! What is happening?

-Yes, please stop being nice to her, Amanda, we don’t want her getting used to it.

Jojo istg.

-Cyneswith dear, tell Amanda all about how much money your grandmother left you so she can stop being nice to Shajar. 

-Soooo much money, Miss Amanda!

-Ah, what a polite child I’ve single-handedly raised.

-Now, Cyneswith, you really need to get back on the dating scene so you have ample time to find the perfect spouse and continue our line, since you’re clearly the only one of my children that is remotely heir material. 

-Dad, Shajar and Wulf are right next to you.

-Oh they are? I’m wearing my special contact lenses that make those disappointments invisible to me, but even better, they need to hear this. Shajar is a noogiesexual and thus incapable of reproduction, and Wulf is not even a Union, I mean have you seen that kid? Wyatt reproduced by himself like the amoeba he is. Now, your grandmother-

-YOU MENTIONED ME 3 TIMES AND HERE I AM

OH FUCK VICTORIA, deleting the default replacements gave you base game hair!!!!

-That’s the part you’re scared by, not my Beetlejuicesque entrance?

There’s literally nothing scarier than your ghost sporting this haircut for all eternity, I’m re-downloading that default immediately. 

-Oh mom, so good to see you! Let me just hug my beloved child, Shijer-

-Shajar, dad.

-SHAJAR, let me hug Shajar, like I do all the time. 

-I’m glad to see you’re not picking favorites among your children like I did, the way I treated David-

-Daniel, mom.

-DANIEL, is the one thing I’ve truly been regretting in the afterlife. That and not skinning Marisa Bendett alive when I had the chance. 

-Well, as you can see by Shajar’s totally normal and not at all shocked reaction to my hug, I am a wonderful, fair, and emotionally available father. 

(Bruh this freaked me out so much when it happened, I mean I KNOW it’s an animation glitch but I was convinced my sims had become sentient for a good while after)

-Is your grandmother’s ghost still on the premises?

-Yup. 

-When will this nightmare end, paying attention to you is the worst. 

-Ok she’s gone.

-FINALLY. Now it’s back to the crypt for you, and don’t you dare go complain to her urn!

-Ah, Stephen, Stephen, my life is crap and I can’t even🎵

And with the knowledge you have composed a theme song for Stephen Tinker, part 1 of the Union comeback update is concluded. Will Shajar’s sexual orientation reveal itself? Will Cyneswith find true love? Will Jojo become a werewolf? Will Wulf continue to be the only dignified member of this family? Will D’vorah have kittens? Will Wyatt do literally anything worth mentioning? Tune in for parts 2 & 3 to find out, unfollow button on the upper right corner for those who need it. 

[stellarbisexual]

S2E5

LG DIG DUG LG!

LMAO Hopper’s VM “I’m probably doing something incredible RN” accurate tho

Winona Ryder is so tiny <3

omfg BYELER BLESS US ALL

“And the more he spreads, the more connected to him I feel.” 

omg mike “you’re like a super spy, spying on the shadowmonster.” babe.  babe. <3

(nowkiss)

OH MY FUCKING GOD

SECOND TIME I’M TEARING MY HEADPHONES OFF

MIKE’S HAND ON WILL’S HAND

MIKE’S HAND ON WILL’S HAND

I REPEAT

MIKE’S HAND. ON. WILL’S. HAND.

FAREWELL MY FRIENDS. FAREWELL.

Byeler as F U C K Y’ALL

SKIP INTRO BUTTON YOU MEAN NOTHING TO ME GTFO

jancy at that ho-tel mo-tel holiday innnnnnnnnn

LMAO that lady at the front desk: perfectly cast. 

jfc jonathan still soooooo into nancy. HE CALLED HER NANCE <3

omfg matching scars. THEY ARE SO. FLIPPING. CUTE. 

“only a month” hahahaha jonathan you are the KING of saying the WRONG SHIT

aoihdsfonasdfaklfmkadfmdalf MIKE IS ASLEEP ON WILL’S FLOOR my protective bisexual son

omg HOPPER AS DAMSEL IN DISTRESS into itttt

YES MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED, WE ARE AT LUCAS’ HOUSE BLESS

OMFG LUCAS ASKING HIS DAD FOR GIRL ADVICE BYE

“Even when she’s wrong?” CLASSIC FUCKING LUCAS THO

“To hang out with Dustin” worst liar ever

Seriously Lucas’ little sister is the breakout character of this season

Guys I hella ship Lucas/Max already

o fuck poor Dustin gonna have to cover up that cat’s death

uGH POOR DUSTIN’S MAMA LIKEEEE <3

dustin and his mom are like the comedic duo of the century “iLY “ILY” “I LOVE YOU” *mwah*

wow gaten matarazzo has BEAUTIFUL eyes!

“I’M SORRY... YOU ATE MY CAT.” LMFAO

omg eleven going to meet her mama!

well that’s one way to get in.

ELEVEN IS LIKE ALREADY SO PROTECTIVE OF HER MOM, I’M SLAIN

haha nancy pokin’ holes in that dude’s “boxes of pepe” map

omg lucas pulling all sorts of shit for max, my heart

“a safe place to what? be creepy?” bless you, max.

max you’re not gonna be so blase about lucas putting his trust in you after he tells you everything.

will is the tiniest bean <3

o shit bob’s here and he gon use his nerd powers to solve the mystery

“that’s the objective, find the x.” mike you effing nerd.

um why did it take them so long to figure out the drawings are a map of hawkins tho. i mean that’s the most logical thing, right?

(meanwhile i’m still highkey upset about dustin’s cat)

again with the vaginal imagery lol

ooh i have a feeling this is the ep where dustin brings steeb into the mix

lolllll erikaaaaaa #best

“she won’t get any better, will she?” :( :( :(

oh GOD el seeing her baby crib W H Y YOU DO DIS SHOW

MAYBE WILL CAN BRING EL’S MAMA OUT OF THE UPSIDE DOWN

HO SHIT THEY JUST GAVE MAD POLTERGEIST PROPS THERE WITH THE TV BLESS

omg mike’s parents are useless

“son of a bitch you’re really no help at all, you know that?” lmfaooooooo my thoughts exactly, dustin

AWW STEEB WITH HIS FLOWERS <33333333333

YAS THE NAILBAT SCENE IS COMING

I love that Steeb is like automatically on board too

omg save hopper guys pls i’m FULL OF ANXIETY

hahahahahahahah lucas been telling this story the whole time

LOLLLLLLLL getting all meta with max’s criticism of the story of what happened

EEP MAX HELD LUCAS’ HAND BWEEEE

if billy hurts lucas, i will seriously cut a bitch. like not even kidding.

(hahaha just realized the max/lucas ship name can be mucas, as in mucous hahaha)

“stop talking” lmao eleven

papa stealing baby eleven like it’s his job

ELEVEN’S AUNT HELPED THE BAD MEN WTF? whoaaaa eleven’s mama shooting cops like it ain’t no thing

BB ELEVEN <3

more gay imagery thx for the rainbowwwwww

omfg eleven’s poor fucking mother, i can’t. she’s just reliving this horrible trauma for the rest of her fucking life? a w f u l

“IN MY NOW MEMORIES” <3 my gay son

“super spy” <3 supportive bisexual bf mike wheeler

yas beat those vines joyce, also winona’s tiny feet <3

“are we in will’s map?” lmao YES JFC get on board samwise

my sexuality is joyce saving hopper 

“hey bob” “hey jim” lmfao

WTF WILL NOOOOOOO

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 25.09.17 lb

oh NOW om is calling gauri all frantically. asshat. 

i’m sorry i just can’t take shivaay seriously in those sunglasses. 

greattttttt, phatphati is outta gas or some shit. 

suman be like jfc, trusting these two was a baaaaad idea. 

this mukhiya is so ridiculouslyyyyyy OTT i can’t even. 

OH GOD ANIKAAAAAAAA DON’T SPLIT UPPPP

shivaay’s radar beeping that wife is nearby. 

OMG THIS IS THE WORST HIDING I’VE EVER SEEN YOU STUPID GIRLS

ok fwding coz ughhhhhhhhh 

mukhiya, those two were on the side of your one good eye. honestly. 

ANIKA DON’T BE A DAMN HERO 

LORD ABOVE

ok i hate mukhiya so much. someone beat him up. where tf are you, shivKara???

OK FUCK YOU SUMAN THESE TWO PUT THEIR LIVES AT RISK FOR YOU

suman’s dialogue delivery is hella bad

GREAT. anika’s gonna get herself fucking slaughtered at this rate. stand still you idiot girl. 

shivKara eavesdropping on these two gundas from like a mile away. in pouring rain. amazing.

lmao listening at the description they’re like YUP. SUCH GANDDDDH CAN BE MACHAOFIED ONLY BY OUR GIRLS. 

SLOW MO SWAGGER WALK. impaired by the ankle deep flooding. 

pft, first of alllllllllll, so fucking extra, you assholes. secondly, that poem was for bromance purposes. don’t be modifying it for your bs heterosexual relationships. 

lmao mukhiya’s second eye is also gone. 

ok fwding coz this is hella boring. 

ok shivaay, that could be ANYONE’s blood. or does your Awareness™ extend to doing blood typing and DNA testing by eye too?

i’m 1000% here for om’s angsty discovery of gauri’s kapde ka chichdaa tho.

girls, this is india. have you not been living here all this while? don’t you know what the police is like? 

“kadak ho ya bhadak, humein isse kaa matlab??” lol 

oh great. madamji is here. 

oh ho anika baaaat sun toh letiiiiiiiiiiii

LMAO HER NAME IS TAADAKA 

fyi: name of a powerful female demon in hinduism, slayed by lord ram. 

oh noooooooo. they’re laughing at her name. 

oh boy. madamji is like madhusudhan phupa of sarabhai. just the “hein???” is missing. 

anika’s miming is hella bad. do not pick her to be on your team for charades. 

greattttttttt. both of them have gotten themselves locked up. 

lo, suman bhi andar. LOL SHE’S SO CUTE. I LOVE HER FAAAAAAAACE.

shivaay’s like me - sees an unknown number calling and like NOPE IM NOT PICKING THAT UP

i toh don’t pick up known numbers also. like, just don’t call me. i won’t pick up. i hate the phone. just text me like a normal person. (so i can leave you on read.) basically, unless you’re my mom, i’m most probably not going to respond to you. just don’t try to contact me.

SAB PHONE PE HI POOCHENGE KYA, IDHAR NAHI AAYENGE???? 

snort.

oh ho tyaagi ki bhi badi dukh bhari kahaani hai. 

ok literally don’t care about ruvya. fwding the fuck outta them. 

shivaay, ouff, must you be such an asshole to all public servants??? like, at least know the scope of your jurisdiction man. 

lmao, awaaz neeche, really???? lady, you’re deaf. 

lol gauri too appealing to bade bhaiyya, as if her husband standing next to him is invisible. 

BAAT BAAT PE HOME MINISTER, JAISE UNKO TOH KOI KAAM HI NAHI HAI, BAS TUM LOGON KA PHONE HI UTHAATE REHNA HAI

OH MY GOD OM IS EVEN MORE TADIBAAZ, HE’S LIKE CALL THE DEFENCE MINISTER, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOT

aaaaaaaaaaaaand…. 

yup. 

lmaoooooo anika taunting om too. 

shivaay’s finally met his tadi match in inspector taaadka. 

lol shivaay snarkily asking suman if she’s okay and enjoying, hee hee hee

pffffffffft no jail can contain sassy!kara’s sass. 

lol his gesturing at someone to let them go. ugh why is he so damn cuuuuuuuuuuuute??? and look at gauri watching him!

LOCKUP MEIN ROMANCE SUJH RAHA HAI????

please don’t dismiss her billu, tera bas chalta toh you WOULD sex her up here. dadi bhi nahi hai tujhe control karne ke liye. 

UGH ANIKA WHY SO CUUUUUUUUTE. i love your damn face so much. 

ok fuck his stupidass hand wound. awaiiiii. 

lo. ho gaye shuru idhar bhi. 

ok stop trying to be all rational and shit here, omkara. you’re wrong. shut up and stand there in your wrongness being wrong. 

“gauri, meri baat khatam nahi hui hai.” “lekin humari sehan karne ki shakti khatam ho chuki hai.” 

in more ways than one, son. so mind it. she’s thisss 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽 close to leaving your ass. 

OK TEJ IS BEING THE MOST FUCKING EXTRA HE’S EVER BEEN IN HIS LIFE

lmaoooooo all of them gesturing noooooooooooo in the bg. INCLUDING SUMAN.

LOLOLOLOL

aaaaaaaand…. 

LMAO ANIKA’S DEATH GLARE AND OM’S SIDE EYE AT SHAKTI. 

“jab shivaay aur meri nahi chali toh kiski kya chalegi.”

at least this maamle mein tej recognizes that shivaay has more tadi and extraaaa than him. 

who will freeee them nowww?????

fwding this ruvya nonsense. 

pffffffffffft, everyone’s yelling at anika and gauri. 

if she’s deaf, how come she can hear all this??? 

waaaaaaaaaah. dadi is here to show HER tadi. 

lol shivaay guraaaoing in bg “isne DADI ko lock up mein daala toh i’ll SUE this lady.”

anika: simmer down loser, you need to gtfo here to be able to sue her in the first place. 

face-off between two badass buddhiyas. 

indian judiciary has come down to settling cases by a match of panja. maybe this is how salman khan keeps escaping jail, by beating all the prosecutors in arm wrestling matches. 

LMAO THEIR FACES. SP. THE MEN. 

oh of course, the old birds are friends. 

i want to kiss these two faces. i love them so much. 

pfffffffffft, idiots calling out their names as if dadi’s forgotten who they are. 

omfg, shivaay adding “sabse chotiiiiii” after gauri yelling her name. #thisBROTPwillKillMeWithFeelz.

how considerate of gauri to intro suman as well. 

“tuney inhe andar kyun kiya?” “arre, bolte bohut hai. 😒😒😒😒” 

dude i love her. i say we get inspector taadka to move into oberoi mansion. she’ll shut down their nonsense and have that ship sailing smooth in one day flat. 

ok, good. suman is safe. 

god dafa karooooooo rasmein and just get these little shits married alreadyyyyyyy.

CHUNARI KI RASM. THAANE MEIN. oufffffff. matlab, hadh hai. 

billu is ever ready. he don’t give a fuck. he just needs to marry her. who cares where. iska bas chale toh shamshaan ghaat mein bhi shaadi kar le. 

wow what even is happening with ruvya? they look close to making out. 

they should. it might make them infinitesimally interesting if there was at least some sex to their relationship. 

aaaaaaaand they lost me with the close ups of their mouths. fucking whyyyyyyyyyyy are they shot like this??? you don’t do this to shivika and rikara? then why this grossness here??? 

chalo chaddho, mainu kiii. i don’t even like this pairing.  

they literally decorated the thaana. my goddddddddd. these ppl are so fucking extra. inka bas chale toh they’d bring all the fairy lights in oberoi mansion here too. 

so just…. fuck jhanvi and pinky, i guess. 

can you really blame pinky for feeling left out and hating the rest of them? i don’t. these people are hella insensitive. 

PFT. BILLU. IDIOT. 

ALSO OUFF OMKI WHY SO CUTE?????? BUT ALSO WTF IS THAT WEIRD PIC BEHIND YOU????

lol inpector taadka truly is dadi’s friend. she’s like DOOOR HATT!!!!!!

pft is this photobaaazi necessary? 

ring ceremony bhi baaki hai aaj, oufff.

so, did shivaay buy that stupidass persian emperor ring or what? 

ugh ruvya nonsense. isse achcha toh meri svetlana ko dikhaate. 

OMFG RUDRA JUST SAID AAPKI UMAR MEIN OPTIONS KAM HOTE HAI…. I WANT TO….

FUCK HIM UPPPPPPPPPP BHAVYAAAAAAAAAAA. 

ok you know what, fuckkkkkkkkk this guy. honestly. fuck him to fuck. i still love him as a brother and devar and all, but he honestly sucks in literally every other dept. 

i’m kinda glad sumo escaped him while she could. i now envision her living her best life with a hot surfer nerd in australia. 

yesssssssss, manav’s here! fuck youuuu rudra! 

manav is looking more and more handsome to me. esp since rudra is fucking ugly on the inside. 

wait why the water wars tomorrow???? 

ew that ring is fug.