#If you had given frenchie the credit he deserves

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

re that poll with the how much of the fandom IDs as white vs how much of the fandom IDs as something else. Wonder what the ratio would be on that if so many people hadn't insisted on being apologists for the guy who's narrative purpose is trying to force an indigenous man to play into racist stereotypes.

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Live Blog/My thoughts scene for scene ish for OFMD S2 Episodes 1-3

FULL SPOILERS FOR S2 EPS 1-3. Including a post credit scene for Episode 3 that includes a teaser for the episodes 4-5 and discussing scenes we haven't seen from the trailer.

My long form stuff usually gets seen by people outside of my circle so before this long post I want to preface with this-

Hi! Izzy is my favorite character. As of right now I have written just under 240k words about this guy and spent most of my time in this fandom in Izzy spaces. If that is a problem for you, this might not be the read.

But I got fed a 5 star meal and already see this season is a love letter to the fans and I am here to appreciate it. 

Please be warned. I personally think this season should have a warning on it for how it handles suicide, suicidal ideation, substance use and relationship abuse. I will be going in depth on this but handle it with respect as someone whose lived shit like this.

My first watch was without subtitles and on a big old tv screen. I I decided to miss a few things my first watch, choosing to turn off subtitles, and get surprised by dialogue and delivery(as I tend to read ahead). This watch is to confirm lines, appreciate delivery, and more. 

I have not read any meta, and this is blind before I see how all my mutuals freak out!!!!

Lines that fucked me up will be bolded. Just know I want to write an essay about them, and would given the chance. (sorry for spelling errors I watched this twice + stayed up for an extra 10 hours😅)

EPISODE 1:

I liked the recap, but I don’t think it’s enough for casual viewers who watched it maybe once ALSO. That Edit of Izzy’s ‘namby-pamby crying for his boyfriend’ IMMEDIATELY into the Toe Scene got a laugh out of me, because OWW. How had we not thought of that? 

I LOVE THE DREAM SCENE. Izzy beating him fair and square, but still losing. The stab in the killing side? THE MELODRAMA. The way this confirms Stede sees Izzy as a ‘big bad’ he needs to defeat to ‘win’ Ed. Him having the most 1 dimensional view of both him, Ed, and Izzy. A view how Stede is still an idiot unable to see nuance in people. Izzy smiling? The way he mutters his last words> God I love Con O’Neill. Let’s watch him maybe die 8 separate times and call it a season. 

It also got a good laugh out of me. Did I predict that that it was a dream when the teaser came out? Yeah. Still funny as shit.

‘Can’t be worse than you moaning Ed, Oh Ed’ FUNNY AS SHIT. 

I liked the ‘customer service’ montage. Swede, you deserve all the love you get. You are in good hands.  I think Stede’s part of this episode was just to lighten the rest of it. Hello to an antagonist of this season, and narrative foil to Stede, Prince Ricky.

I know it doesn’t matter who did Ed’s back tattoo, but the irony of Ed trusting someone enough to get it done is just funny. 

(Wedding Scene) I SQUEALED WHEN WE GOT THE RETURN OF ED’S EVIL THEME. Also, calling his crew the devils ‘kids’ is so fucking funny. HELLO CLASSIC ROCK IVE NEVER HEARD OF??? Welcome to the OFMD playlist. I love the montage of ‘Ed is working everyone to death’. Izzy got to threaten an English sailor. I know he’s happy with that. 

Yes. The wedding thing was absolutely over the line. RIP Ivan, you will be missed. I can’t wait for Frenchie to break down, and congrats to all the people who wrote Frenchie as emotionally distant, you’ve won! 

THE WAY IZZY SOUNDS SO TIRED ‘Yeah. They got cake.’ ALSO. Did I miss the knife throwing scene?? Was that just for the trailer? I think it was in a past edit and they removed it.

‘Can’t do the job? Someone else will’ (Ed to Izzy)- Izzy felt that he mattered to Ed. This one line reframes their entire relationship. This fucks Izzy up. I theorize as the main reason Izzy never did anything was because Ed was his captain. But they were still friends. Close. Trusted partners.  But Izzy is still expendable. Even after all this time. He is nothing. Maybe he knows Ed is doing this so he rebels, and kills him, but maybe he doesn't. Izzy cares about loyalty... we'll see.

Yes. The Izzy scene hurts. But after watching Ep 2, this is nothing. 

‘It is your job to-to follow my fucking orders’ (Izzy to crew) THIS IS NOT HOW I THOUGHT THIS LINE WOULD BE USED. Because he knows. He knows he’s fucked, and he’s struggling to accept the fact that he’s looking down the loaded barrel. He knows that he can’t make these people listen to him, not any more. He’s alone, and now the one thing he can do(be Ed’s first mate) is about to be stripped from him. Hell, it already is.

Spanish Jackie. I love you. I love you so much. Extort those fuckers. Semi clean water and education is a big deal! Also, this season overall is a HUGE win for my fellow Pete fans. Funny bastard. 

I have thoughts about Prince boy, but they can wait until he does something.

Stede’s flaw has always been his naivety, habit of judging once and never really questioning it, and his ego. Prince is able to take advantage of it. I don’t trust him. I think he’s a spy. I also like thinking Spanish Jackie is collecting husbands to certain tasks like it’s Pokémon. Need a bartender? Customer service husband. The books? Math husband. New Swedish husband? Masseuse.

HI IZZY ED SCENE ----

‘Because it’s fuckin’ treasure.’ Izzy. Izzy I fucking love you. God. The way he stiffens up. Knowing them not following orders means he will lose a toe. Fucking god. 

This to me confirms that Ed really wants to get Izzy to kill him in in ep 1. He will tear down every good memory they have just to get Izzy to give in. He doesn’t care about their past, he just wants to die. Izzy is a convenient violent punching bag because he can’t leave. He knows fully well that this crew doesn’t listen, and blames Izzy for a fact he can’t change. It’s fucked that he's shoving Izzy into this corner but he doesn't think there will be consequences. 

Honestly. I think Izzy knows his partner is at this edge, but he can’t do anything. This is why he gets the guts to talk back. Both here and later in front of the crew(more in a second).

The ‘you know me better than anyone has ever known me’ (Izzy to Ed) line kills me. Because it’s honest. For the rest of these episodes Izzy is so fucking honest It hurts. He can’t lie. Not to himself, not anymore. Not to Edward or the crews. He can't take advantage of any situation, or turn the tables. All he has is his words. He knows this, and yet here he is. Facing this abuse, and trying, because he wants to fix it. But he knows he’s not enough to snap Ed out. 

‘I have love for you’ (Izzy to Ed in cabin)Present tense…fucking hell. Izzy tries to pull Ed out by showing his soft center, and we can tell from Ed’s dismissive reaction that he already knows all this. But Ed isn’t talking. Izzy can’t read minds, he wants to help. I know he felt adrenaline spring through him after the confession, and with loose lips, he says just the wrong thing. HI MICROEXPRESSIONS ON CON. FUCKING AHH

‘Hang on Ed- Captain.’ (Izzy to Ed as Ed is marching out to the crew)OW. OUCH. OOF??? IZZY PANICING???? Trying to stop this???

The look on Izzy’s face when Ed holds the gun to himself is not shocked. Hurt, and he immediately closes himself off, like he genuinely thinks Ed would do it.  That’s what hurts. Also, I don’t know if hes doing a high pitch voice to imitate Izzy, but that’s my view of it. 

‘PACK IT IN' (Screamed by Izzy to Ed) THATS MY MAN!!! Stand up to Ed being shitty! GOD. Frenchie’s little head shake. Trying to warn Izzy, to tell him no :((((. But Izzy doesn’t care. He knows he’s not got too long left, so he might as well chew Ed out, to say the things everyone is thinking but are too scared to say. God, the way Ed teases the answer in front of everyone. -Say his name and I will shoot- sitting right there in his eyes, and Izzy GRINS and he says ‘Stede fuckin’ Bonnet’ and that is finally enough of an excuse for Ed to shoot. 

Look at the way Ed nods his head as Izzy says it, not even letting Izzy finish before saying it. He's done. All the other performative versions of violence, of being Blackbeard he does, I see a reason to say 'he's doing this as self hurt' but Idk. It feels like he wanted to, and now he can. So he does. The way everyone reacts hurts me. The way Ed steps over him, the way Ed pushes Frenchie into Izzy’s job. 

I know many fans, and myself before the show aired, thought the leg shooting would be too much. In all honesty. This is how I’d want it written. This entire episode has showcased Edward’s grown resentment to his friend mixed with self destructive impulses. Some might view this as being too much, but given episode 2, this is such a big fucking moment I can’t even comprehend it right now. 

Do I think Izzy’s love confession pushed Ed to this panic- ESPECIALLY after his last confession ended in Stede running away? Maybe. But I think Ed was mentally in a place where he couldn’t react with anything BUT dread. Thus making the Stede call back even worse. But I don’t know. 

That’s one end of the spectrum of how this scene can be interpreted (Ed shooting Izzy’s leg felt unjustified/uncalled for at this point in the story) now lets turn it around (The ‘Izzy deserved it’ fuck heads)

Lets be 100% clear here. 

I view Izzy turning the crew to the English was a catylist, BUT not a cause for them getting captured. Stede was wanted for murder, and would have gotten caught eventually. Hell, the fact Blackbeard was on the ship in S1 was a lucky guess that Chauncy was happy to take advantage of, that IZZY HAD TO SIGN THE ACT OF GRACE to get Ed out of.  

Can Ed hold Izzy responsible instead of taking accountability for his own actions? Yes. This episode shows that’s basically how he sees it. But we as fans are basically shown 5 different ways to view Izzy as sympathetic here. 

Now: Moving back into the episode (after 500 words of that…damn)--------------

Ricky is so dumb…. I don’t know if I love it or not.

I love ‘Susan’ (Zheng Yi Sao) but have some thoughts. I enjoy her, the way she holds herself like Ed did in episode 3, drawing that parallel. That and her Izzy narrative mirror of a first mate. Also, I hope the Swede and Spanish Jackie have a lovely season. I love them so much. 

(Yes! I got to inform the family of the history of the Queen of Pirates. I love what I do. )

One of my favorite crew scenes: Jim and Fang failing to correctly remember the story. I LOVE IT. I agree Archie, Jim trying to help Fang feel better is so fucking GOOD. Mixing the legend of the Monkey’s paw and Pinochio while cleaning up Izzy’s blood is so fucking…much. 

Hi another song I have never heard of??? (The whistle one, you will be going to the Ed Izzy divorce playlist)

Ed is pulling a Stede. Running away from every problem forgetting they dont exist. The second something tries to change he snaps. It hurts looking at Frenchie clearly trying to balance his family and Edward’s lack of empathy. I fucking love this episode, and think it’s up there for my favorites. This is a trend that will continue. 

EPISODE TWO:

Maybe my favorite piece of writing in ages. Can I just say they are Fucking WILD to call the Izzy/Ed episode ‘Red Flags’????? BECAUSE DEAR GOD

I watched the recap. It’s like, 3 scenes of stede, with Izzy geting shot and the final scene of Zheng Yi Sao. 

Classical song in opening: Etude No. 1, Op, 25. Going into the writing playlist. 

Buttons sleeping with his feet up, maybe to be close to the sea?

Now. I am going to use this moment to discuss a large criticism I have. The cutaways to scenes from S1. Now, do they feel fast, and awkward, yes. Should the writers trust their audience to tie the call back together? Yes. But for a casual audience I think these scenes are VERY necessary if you haven’t watched the show. I think they should be taken out, but I get why they’re there. 

‘Run From Me’ by Timber timbre THIS IS A FUCKING ED/IZZY SONG IN THE SHOW?!?!??!. WE DID IT. WE GOT 1! I don’t see any way how you could tie this is Ed/Stede. A song about the fear of hurting others and needing to always push people away. After last episode??? I fucking… I teared up on rewatch, because FUCK. It’s a scene with Ed playing with the dolls, but Izzy’s presence is right THERE. 

OMG OMG OMG- A PIRATE SHIP IS USING THE BELLS SYSTEM TO KEEP TRACK OF SHIFTS????? (Kind of? Not really? She just rang a bell. But just give me this).

Wee john & Buttons, I love you. ‘YES QUEEN!’ I CACKLED! I love the mispronouncing ‘China’ gag. 

‘I decided to take a chance on you…because’ Because they’re allies. Stede taking ‘soft’ as a compliment gives me life. 

LUCIUS!!!!! I FUCKING LOVE THEM!!! THE ‘OH MY GOD’ CALLBACK!!! THE HAPPY CREW SONG RETURNING?? 

I love that Stede is immediately like-*the vibes are off. What happened to my boy.* as soon as he sees him

Can I also say, I love that when we transition over to the Revenge, we see it from the front, sailing into frame. It’s such a good shot. 

I love that Ed is obviously in a manic period, FUCK. WHAT IF HE WAS CRYING OVER KILLING IZZY??? He wouldn't…but other than that, I can’t see specifically what he was crying about. 

‘No more booze, no more drugs, and more importantly, no more Izzy’ WHEN I TELL YOU I GASPED WHEN IT WAS REVEALED IZZY WAS KILLED THE FIRST TIME. God. Not by Ed, because Ed would never, but by FRENCHIE. No wonder they had to edit ‘Stede’ over that in the trailer… 

‘The new first mate always kills the old first mate’ - Okay, this bugs me. It’s not that the first mate is killed because ‘it’s law’. First mates were usually picked by their captain, but the Captain was democratically chosen. The first mate is loyal to the captain, as that is their job. The reason the first mate was killed when replaced was because the new Captain feared the old first mate could start a mutiny, and use the friendships built against a new person in power-

OH SHIT. DOES THIS MEANS ED KNEW IZZY WOULD MUTINY???? SO HE ORDERED FRENCHIE TO KILL HIM??

HOLY FUCK! :0

EDWARD YOU CONNIVING LITTLE BASTARD!!!!!

Hi secret passage :) To all the authors who also wrote them as tiny little hallways in the walls, rip. How did no one notice an extra room.

IZZY!!!! MY BOI

God, Izzy just knowing he’s fucked, and wanting to die now before Ed finds out is so fucking GOOD. ‘We just had him asleep’ JIM he’s a 50 year old man fading in and out of sleep due to an infection, not a toddler. I love that Izzy is just…so done. He didn’t expect the crew to help him out 🙁

HELLO OTHER SCENE IN THIS EPISODE I DIDN’T EXPECT TO LOVE-

God. I think my problem with Lucius in fanon was that he was always treated like he was above it all. The therapist. The loving partner. The jokester. But he has actual depth and Nathan is a brillian actor.

Hi Buttons being a sea god. I love that I wrote him as being creature adjacent ages ago. Bro can read Chinese AND got a fun magical ability. I can’t wait for that to pay off. 

THE OTHER SCENE I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT. Pissed off Ed being so fucking cheery when confronting Frenchy is so unnerving. Ed isn’t dumb. He knows. He knows the moment he caught Frenchie with that box that he was helping keep Izzy alive but he needed it confirmed. Which Frenchie did. 

(This is the point where my bro woke up so I rewatched everything with him)

Dear god. CAN WE CLEAN IZZY? Bandage that leg? ANYTHING?

‘But he’s out dick’ (Jim to Archie about Izzy and why they want to keep him alive) FUCK YEAHHHH!!! I love it, but can we not do this in front of a passed out Izzy?

Oh, the way my gut dropped the first time I saw Ed on the stairway of the secret room. Keep that man away from him.

GOD THE WAY I FUCKING GROANED WHEN OLU MOVED THE SHIPS ON THAT MAP. I am so happy the show is portraying how a flagship of a fleet works!!!

Lucius smocking to relieve stress and sooth his anxiety. All that to not think about what's happened. THAT and Pete being the ‘softer’ partner, gives me life. 

Izzy/Ed scene in the hidden room.

HI IZZY! ‘Up in leg heaven’(Ed to Izzy) Does this line read like bad fic? Yes. Good think I write fic and think it's fucking hilarious.

I fucking CHERISH this scene- 

‘I dreamt you killed me.’ ‘good for you’ (Ed to Izzy, Izzy to Ed)I FUCKING LOVE YOU IZZY- you are so tired of Ed's shit. I would put the entirety of this scene and every micro expression from Izzy if I could. ALSO ‘Eddie????’’ WHY- FUCKING- THAT WAS A FANFIC LINE AND IT'S MAKING ME SAD :0.

We are so getting a flashback next episode, aren't we? Even if we don't I'm so satisfied seeing the past closeness hinted at in these 3 episodes.

‘Clean up your own mess I’ve been doing it my whole life.’ I fucking LOVE HIM!! Even when he's suffering through an infection he won't let Ed walk all over him. Then Ed gives him his gun. LITERALLY TELLING IZZY TO STILL CLEAN UP THE MESS. 

‘I loved you…best I could.’ OH FUCK> OH FUCK!!!!! How did I MISS THAT ON MY FIRST RUN? IZZY/ED CONFIRMED???? THE FUCK???? ED ADMITS THAT HE FUCKING LOVED HIM!!! FUCKING KILL ME. ALSO PAST TENSE! That better be because he thinks Izzy is dead and not that he doesn't love him anymore :((( 

I loved Stede mentoring Lucius in talking btw. 

‘Save the rest for Pete’ (Stede to Lucius) Aw. Stede can’t be the therapist. I also love that Pete got freaked out. It makes me happy. 

I love this whole pre-storm scene. The way we can see Ed adjusting the canon into the mast to blow it down. The general storm vibes. The tension. The way it reads like the fuckery scene in ep 4 with the storm. Ed being steps ahead. But instead of Ed doing something clever he's doing something self destructive.

‘Run From Me’ start playing in the background up again when Lucius' line about being broken and learning to cope. LEADING RIGHT INTO THE STORM SCENE- AHHHH.

The way JIM STOPS ARCHIE FROM FIGHTING. Literally replicating their arc from S1.

THE WAY IZZY SHOOTS ED TO PROTECT THE CREW FROM ED LITGHTING THE CANON WICK. THE FUCKING PAN UP REVEALING IZZY IS ALIVE AND *EMPTY*

‘YOU INDESTRUCTIBLE LITTLE FUCKER’ (Ed to Izzy) THESE TWO I SWEAR TO CHRIST!

GET ‘EM FANG! PROTECT IZZY

God I fucking love this episode. So fucking much. The fact Ed/Izzy divorce has multiple suicide attempts built in makes me feel things. I wouldn’t expect anything else. 

==============================================

EPISODE 3

‘I know, it’s been a day!’ (Zheng Yi Sao to Shadow guy)

I love the scene of her bargaining with the guy and think Zheng Yi Sao is going to build a pirate army to take over the Republic. She’s already taken over China. This is just for pride.

GOD I love the scene of Stede going through the ship. Mainly because it lets us see the hallway, and tells me more of the Ship's anatomy but that's not the point. 

I don't know how the Crew survived the storm, but DAMN. I'm so proud of all of them working together. We were all right to write fic like that.

Izzy just casually being devalued by Stede and how he just IMMEDIATELY looks to Frenchie. OW. FUCKING OW. Also the way Izzy said 'Bonnet' at the start of this scene makes me so happy. 

I ZONED OUT A BIT- FORGOT TO WRITE

Now we’re at the scene of Stede cleaning up the knives. Leading into Izzy and Stede bitching. I love this scene mirroring the one where Izzy tells Stede to ‘plumb the depths’. Because it’s a moment where Izzy tries to be honest to Stede, but it doesn’t work. I FUCKING LOVE THIS SCENE SO MUCH. Izzy holding his tongue just a bit trying to warn Stede. A person he is actively jealous of. Hell, he even takes accountability for his actions. He even tells Izzy a half truth that they didn’t kill Ed. 

IZZY IS FUCKING TRYING. BUT STEDE IS TOO STUBORN!!!! Why does Izzy always need to be the voice of reason, it’s bad for him :( He needs someone to treat him seriously. 

I love that Hornigold has all of Ed’s mannerisms from the start. That and all of Hornigolds memories are what Ed remembers about the things he hated about the man (the crab thing)

Is it sad that Ed is excited to live a normal life, but his gut(Hornigold) tells him not to be so naïve? Yeah. But I’m mad at him, so give me a day. 

I love Izzy in the jail scene. ALSO WHY IS FRENCHY LEANING THAT CLOSE TO IZZY-HELLO?? Izzy crying, closing his eyes. Not able to keep Ed safe because he still tried SO HARD to keep his body semi stable. They think he’s probably dead, and Izzy still keeps his corpse safe. EVEN AFTER ANYTHING. HE STILL LOVES HIM! :D D:

This is where the Pirate Queen isn’t fun anymore for me. I liked her, but then she threatened Olu if he said no?? I don’t like it! Especially as it seems Olu didn't get the hint.

The escape overall is very fucking sweet. Especially Izzy shushing people. I makes me happy :)- Also Buttons being a good first mate and giving orders as soon as they touch deck.  

I’M SORRY- IZZY THNAKING STEDE I saw it the first time, and freaked out, but the second?? DEAR GOD! I fucking love him. Give this man a hug. 

Also! I think the Mermaid scene is my 'Ohh Daddy' from S1. It’s a bit.. .much, I like the metaphor a lot. Eh. I don't know. I think they should have blured out Stede's face a bit with water. Reveal it's REALLY Stede when he gets closer. Hide the budget a but more or do a far away shot vs up close. Pretty but just a bit off.

ALSO: IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED THE Ep 3 POST CREDIT SCENE DO-AS I’M SPOILING IT. As a person who is writing a ‘cured object’ thing for this fandom… watch this undo like, 40k of my own words. Please let Izzy be a bit of a skeptic but he generally follows the vibes cause ‘legends’ ALSO murder lesbians!! ALSO IZZY/STEDE woops, sorry, IZZY & STEDE FRIENDSHIP ARC!!!

SO FINAL THOUGHTS: 

Things I didn’t like:

Dislike how we glosses over the discussion of a poly/open relationship for Oluwande and Jim. They both thought eachother were dead, so it doesn’t give me the ick as I bet some will. But the way Jim joked about it still felt wrong.

Glossing over Lucius’ trauma a bit with the puppet joke. I found it a bit in poor taste. 

The fact Izzy is on the episode ‘cover’ for episode 3 on Max, revealing he didn’t kill himself in ep2. I forgot about it midway in, but remembered it on rewatch. Like? IDK

The lack of content warnings, I get it, but damn the suicidal ideation stuff +mania episode+ abuse hit hard. 

It went by a bit quick, but they wrote themselves in a corner. The slow building dread of Ed being a dick, vs Stede just working at Jackie's to get money. So they started when everything was falling apart. AND they need to get The Queen and the Prince established. Judging by the next few episodes, hopefully it will slow down. I prefer this to skipping those things, obviously. But I was much more interested in Ed’s side of the story than Stede's.

Things I do like/Standouts:

Hi Con O’Neill. Can you start paying rent the way you live in my head? Seriously, every scene Izzy is in he steals it. I assume people are a bit peeved that Izzy is getting more attention than Olu&Frenchie&Jim & whatever other character a person likes. But I really think they sewed it in well. Seriously, it’s heartbreaking, and everything I could have asked for. I Love Every Delivery. I see these episodes as enough to turn people slightly sympathetic if they were haters of Izzy before.

ALSO: IZZY SAVING THE CREW. Putting himself in danger FIRST so he doesn't hurt anyone? Jim immediately seeing this and trusting him in the future. I can’t wait to see friendship bloom between him and the crew. That and Izzy's own self destructive habits get broken down as he learns to respect himself outside of hierarchy and Ed. Yes, even like this I want to fuck that man.

Stede- I enjoy that he seems more comfortable with the crew. Especially Pete and Buttons. I don’t have much to say, but I hope this new Izzy training episode means he’ll learn to trust Izzy. Not too much to say, but that's a good thing! Here soon instead of Ed being the focus of the 'deal with this' stick it will go to Stede 'I'm the captain :(' Bonnet

BUTTONS OH MY GOD- My favorite head canon became canon babes!!! I love it. I’m here for it. He's having a lovely time.

ALSO FRENCHIE!!! Hi babes! I missed you being a clever badass! I'm happy Ed didn't stab you.

Them taking Ed’s issues seriously. We got hints of addiction/abusive behavior last season, but they took that and ran with it. Add that to self destrictive behavior that scales up with every scene. Plus the one line from Lucius about how some people can’t be fixed…good stuff, I like how we're handling mental health. I’m not happy with him, but we have time. Taika clearly had fun. I also see myself in his mania and self-sabotaging behavior (non violent, but still wish washy moods for my part)

That and Izzy/Ed being what it is… I believe that Ed genuinely loves Izzy the only way he can, but it’s not enough. He can’t love Izzy the way he needs. Ed needs to apologize, obviously. I won’t be able to forgive him ‘till then. I don’t think Izzy should until he’s able to pull away from him a bit. 

Let's just say I can't wait till next week when we get lesbians and one of my favorite tropes.

(@ing mutuals I know have seen it that I would love to yell with @gydima @born-on-a-beach-teach @treesofgreen BUT do feel free to shout down below!!!)

[fandammit]

Someone to stay [1/2]

Y’all knew this was coming. The Boys, Frenchie x Kimiko. Missing moments through S1. Also available here on Ao3. 

Even in his dreams, he can’t quite picture home any more. 

That he spent so many years of his life running back to a place he can’t even imagine any more hurts too much to think about, so now he mostly tries not to. 

The first time he’d even spoken about home out loud to anyone since -- well, ever -- was staring at Kimiko before she was Kimiko. Back when she was just a scared, feral outline of a person that he’d somehow wanted to protect anyway. 

There’s so much about home that hurts. So much about who he is that hurts. 

But it all hurts so much less when he’s with her. 

-----

She keeps one hand wrapped around his all the way home from Mesmer’s house, the other clutching one of the pictures she’d drawn of her last memory of home. 

There are at least a hundred of the exact same drawing back at the safe house, but he’d made sure to grab the one she’d drawn at Mesmer’s house and give it back to her. It’s a milestone for the two of them, or a talisman, perhaps, to ward against the people they were meant to become. 

She sees him looking at the paper in her hands and after a short moment of contemplation, she offers it to him. He tilts his head at her, his eyebrows drawing close to ask are you sure? 

She gives him a long look, her eyes searching his, before she simply pushes it into his other hand and settles closer to him, her eyes turning out towards the window and back towards some faraway memory. 

He’s never been what you call sentimental -- he has no tangible memories from childhood that aren’t scars, and a lifetime of being on the move means that everything he owns can be packed in a duffle, or bought at the newest Goodwill. But he already knows that this will now become his most prized possession. A symbol made real -- the turning point when she stopped being the girl or petite lazarus or just her and crystallized into Kimiko.  

She’s still mon coeur, of course. He does not think he could stop himself now. Thinks he’d have to know where it had all started to figure out how to stop, but doesn’t know either.  

It doesn’t matter, anyhow. She’s Kimiko and she’s mon coeur and she’s holding on tightly to his hand; the rest of the world fades away. 

-----

She goes straight to couch when they get back to the safehouse and turns on the TV. He watches as she pulls her knees up close to her chest and wraps her arms around them, the screen flickering through images of sharks and reefs. .   

He watches her as closely as she watches the TV -- which is to say, he’s really just looking at her as his mind travels down other roads. He can hear M.M. rearranging files on the table behind him as he does, then feels the table sag a bit as the larger man sets himself down next to him.  

“You know Butcher’s gonna offer to trade her to the feds if it helps bring down Vought,” M.M. murmurs. “And you know as well as I do that it would.” 

Hot anger flashes through him at the thought, and he turns towards M.M., his fists clenched at his side. 

“She’s not some kind of -- of -- puzzle piece or stray collateral to be given and traded,” he hisses, though the pit of stomach roils with fear even as he says it. He has no illusions about what Monsieur Charcuter will do for his personal vendetta. 

“We’re all collateral to Butcher,” M.M. says wearily, and not for the first time he wonders why the other man ever agreed to come back to them. “Look, Frenchie, all I’m saying is that you'll have to prove to Butcher that she’s more valuable to us than she would be to Feds.” 

He stares at M.M, hating that he’s right, hating himself more for immediately trying to quantify just what Kimiko could do for them. He knows she would be invaluable to them. He has a talent for killing and weapons, M.M. has the planning and the brains, Butcher is ruthlessness and drive personified and little Hughie is...well, he’s somewhat like a mascot, at times, but one who has shown himself to be resourceful when necessary. 

But Kimiko is pure, Supe strength -- the one thing they need, and the one thing they’re missing in their fight against the Supes. 

“She just want to go home,” he finally says, shaking his head. “She should get that chance.” 

M.M. sighs and shakes his head. 

“Ok, man,” he says, pushing himself off the edge of the table and going back to fiddle with his files on the table. “But you know I’m right about Butcher.”  

-----

If he were Monsieur Charcuter, he wouldn’t give her a choice; he would simply tell her she needed to join the team or get ready to be shipped over to the Feds. 

If he were M.M, he would try to reason with her, explain why joining the team is her best option in a finely drafted presentation with graphs and charts and her own personal file. 

If he were Hughie, well, he’d probably tell Kimiko that he was going to take her back home, and then get them both killed or captured -- by the Supes, by the Feds or by Charcuter himself -- trying to get her there. 

But he can only be himself, and so he gives Kimiko what he’s always wanted, and what he knows she deserves: a choice. 

He means it when he tells her that they could use her help in stopping Vought, but he means it just as much when he tells her that he’s ready to go to the airport at a moment’s notice. He’s been burned and started over so many times in his life; what’s one more? 

He tries to read her expression, to see if she’s struggling to make the choice, what he should prepare himself for. 

But it’s a moment that’s too short to grasp, and in the next, she reaches over to take his hand and settles back into the couch cushions. Their clasped hands lay loosely between them, and even though her attention’s back on the TV, he can almost feel the words as if she’d shouted them out loud. 

I choose you.  

Everything about her movements, her demeanor, is  casual and easy; it’s as if she hasn’t just altered the course of her life with this one choice. As if there hadn’t even been a choice, really. 

He understands the feeling. Choosing Kimiko hadn’t really been much of a choice for him, either.  

-----

“I have to go,” Hughie stutters out, looking lost and little despite the way he towers, that same frightened look on his face from when they'd first met. 

“Hughie, you can’t go alone,” M.M. says, reaching a hand out to stop him. That M.M. has any kindness left over to distribute even as he's getting ready to head to his own family is how he knows that M.M. really might be too good to be on their team. 

“No, he said --." Hughie stops and shakes his head. "A-Train said that none of my friends can come with me. I have to -- I can’t -- he’ll kill my dad if I don’t come alone.”  

"He'll kill both of ya if you do," Butcher snarls from somewhere across the room, and he isn't sure whether Monsieur Charcuter is angry at A-Train, Hughie, Mesmer or just life in general. 

He feels a gentle hand on his shoulder and turns to face Kimiko, who looks at him for a moment then tilts her head in Hughie's direction. 

He looks back at her, then over at Hughie, who's now arguing with Monsieur Charcuter. 

"You're sure?" He asks, even though what he actually wants to say is it's dangerous and it might not be a good idea and please don't. But he knows all those words are more for him than her anyway, and she didn't choose to stay behind just so he could hold her back. 

She nods and reaches out her hand to wrap it around his, squeezing once before letting go and gesturing towards the center of the room where Hughie and Butcher are squaring off against one another. 

"Kimiko will go with you," he calls across the room, taking advantage of a lull between Hughie and Butcher's shouts.

 It's a rare moment where he manages to catch Monsieur Charcuter completely off guard. 

“What now?” the other man snaps, turning to face them both. 

“Kimiko,” he repeats, stepping aside and gesturing at her. “She said she’ll go with petite Hughie.” 

Hughie blinks rapidly, his eyebrows coming together in the center of his forehead in confusion. 

“You know you can’t come, Frenchie. A-Train would recognize you.” 

He nods. 

“I do not need to go, you know this, petite Hughie. Kimiko can protect you just as well as I can -- better even.” 

Hughie looks like he wants to argue, but he ends up just nodding, his hesitation fading out into that nervous, jumpy energy again as he looks down at his phone and back towards the door. 

“Ok, that works for me.” 

“Well it don’t fuckin’ work for me, does it?” Butcher growls, moving himself between Hughie and the door as he glares at Frenchie. “Sending that feral girl out into the world without you to control her is about as stupid a fuckin’ idea as it was to go to Mesmer for help.”

An ugly sort of anger floods his veins, and he steps towards the larger man at the center of the room, his skin hot with rage. 

“Her name,” he grounds out, advancing on Butcher, “is Kimiko, and she is not feral or a girl, and she does not need me -- or anyone here --,” he rounds on the room and scowling at everyone, “to control her.” 

He feels Kimiko’s hand in his, small and soft, but rooting him in place all the same. 

He turns back to look at her  and she squeezes his hand before letting go and moving towards the center of the room. She stops in front of Butcher and stares at him -- there’s no tension in her stance, no aggressiveness in her eyes -- just the impression that she’s saying I’m going with Hughie, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me. 

Butcher, to his credit -- or maybe because he’s just a crazy motherfucker -- doesn’t look fazed or worried; if anything, there’s something like respect in his expression.

She walks past Butcher and over to where Hughie is standing by the door, then looks back at him, her head tilted in his direction. 

He moves towards her, glaring at Butcher as he walks past, and stops in front of where she and Hughie are standing. 

“So, what is the plan, petite Hughie?” He asks, looking over at where the other man in standing, shifting his weight back and forth between his feet. 

Hughie takes a deep breath and chews on his lip. 

“Ok, so, I need to make sure my dad gets out of there safely.” He glances at Kimiko. “There’s a stoop next to our apartment where people hang out all the time -- Kimiko can just, you know, hang out there and once she sees my dad come out, run up and, uh, you know.” He gives a short huff of a laugh. “Save my ass.” 

Kimiko looks at him, then down at her hands, flexing them before she looks back over at Hughie, her eyebrow slightly raised. 

“Ah,” he says after a moment, before turning to Hughie. “And do you want her to, ah, you know, kill A-Train?” 

Hughie gives him a wide-eyed look. 

“God, no, no, of course not.” He shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair. “No, that’d be -- .” He shakes his head. “No, we just need to slow him down so we can get out of there and he can’t come after us.” 

“Ah,” he says, nodding in agreement with Hughie. “So break both his legs, then.” He looks over at Kimiko, who bounces on the balls of her feet as she nods in agreement. 

Hughie puts his hands out in front of him. 

“I don’t really think we need to break both of them, you know?” He looks back and forth between Kimiko and Frenchie. “Just, uh, one, right? One should do it.”

Frenchie shrugs, then looks over at Kimiko. 

“Best to make it a good break then, mon coeur.” He skips over to the far wall and picks up a broken pipe that laying on top of a windowsill. “This should make it so it isn’t too much work or too bloody for you.” 

She takes the pipe from him and hefts in her hand, then nods at him.  

He reaches out and puts his hands on her shoulders, bending down to look her in the eyes.

“Be careful, mon coeur.” 

She nods, then, after a brief moment’s hesitation, picks up his hand and places it against her cheek, leaning her head into it.  

He smiles at her, his thumb brushing against the curve of her cheekbone before she gives his hand one final squeeze and follows Hughie out the door. 

“You two are the weirdest fuckin’ couple I’ve ever seen,” Butcher says as soon as the door closes behind Hughie and Kimiko. 

“Yeah, but you gotta admit,” M.M. calls out from the other end of the room where he’s packing up his stuff. “It actually kind of makes sense.” 

And even Monsieur Charcuter doesn’t have anything to say against that.